#didn't know this experience was so common

[blackcrystalball]

I find this take really interesting, I also feel like a part of my doesn't fully understand what's off-putting about self-centred social media.

I was born in 2004, so when I was growing up, self-centred social media apps were on the rise and then at their peak. I didn't use any of it until I was like 14 because I didn't really care and I had books to read. I only really became earnest in my usage of Instagram during lockdown and I downloaded tiktok from the first time in 2022.

I started making tiktoks in 2023 because I was in university, away from home and finally in an institution that didn't have a uniform. So it was a lot of fashion and hair content. Near the end of last year and all of this year so far, it has been a lot of dancing and edits of celebrities and characters I like.

Overall my social media accounts are centred around myself and the things I like, 2 parts because I want to have a space to store those things that isn't just my phone in case something happens to it, and 1 part I just think I'm really pretty and I like looking at myself.

I find self-centred social media to be really fun because then you can easily find people you have things in common with and make friends, I live in a relatively small town and I was one of three alternative kids in my school. Since posting online I've made a bunch of alt friends in my area and the vibes are immaculate.

Self-centred social media kind of feels like having a communal diary with your mutuals and I love that about it. It's really fun to share the vibes.

But at the same time, I literally went through all my formative years with this type of media at its peak, it was literally every. Every piece of media tried to brute force social media into their stories and in general kind of normalised it to people my age. So my stance is coming from a person that literally knows no other way of life. I think my stance might have been different if I was born in the 90s instead because in general I'm a pretty private person. All my super personal information stays completely under wraps. The only things I put on social media are things I would comfortably talk to a stranger about irl.

Overall, I feel like it might be because of a bit of a generational gap and different influences.

I feel like I kind of meandered off topic a bit, but yeah, the idea of this type of social media being off-putting has never once crossed my mind, and maybe that's a bad thing. Being perceived on such a large scale really isn't a normal experience and it is probably doing some weird stuff to our brains.

social media has evolved into such a voyeuristic spectacle over the last five to ten years its truly shocking to me like excluding tumblr 90% of the explore pages on other apps is just videos of peoples faces set to music or people talking directly to the camera etc etc......by contrast on tumblr there is still a sort of sheen of anonymity based on how its formatted and usually when you interact with a post you read or watch the content first and then learn the users identity second by clicking on their profile ie the dash is not just a wall of people filming themselves unless its a repost......i remember even only a couple of years ago there was a distinction between people who were influencers and got paid to film themselves 24/7 for instagram but now its like every average person on reels/tiktok is performing the same kind of theater for free......i cant imagine what that would do to your psyche long term

[paper-mario-wiki]

assuming you can afford the safest route, where do you even begin with finding somewhere else to live? i might have the privilege to escape but i still dont even know where to start

Consider who's going with you, and what kind of experience you'd like to have.

For ease of access as an english speaker, it may be worth looking into somewhere in Europe. If you've got family out of the country, it could be there.

Personally, my partners and I are looking at southeast Asia. Probably not Japan again, but somewhere in that hemisphere is where we plan to touch down. We ended up going with that region because one of my partner's is black, and we didn't want to go to a country that was especially anti-black, so pretty much every white, english-speaking colonial country was out of the question. If the goal is to go somewhere safe, we're going somewhere we can all be safe.

The hardest part is not choosing the place to go, it's getting started with the process of doing it. Make sure you pick somewhere that will be good for you, and be thorough in making your decision, but remember that you can't run a marathon without the first step.

Look up "One day living in [COUNTRY]", "Trying street food in [COUNTRY]", "First time visiting [COUNTRY]," and other kinds of videos to get an idea of the ground-level living wherever you think to go. Look up things like how much it costs to go to the dentist, how much it costs to ride the bus, how much it costs to rent a house. Look up possible visas, conversion rates between currencies, languages spoken, religions practiced, common phrases and social expectations, courtesies and customs. Get acquainted before you go, and then go.

That is my advice. I'm sorry I can't give you more.

[vixensdungeon]

Hello, my little woodland critters. Today just for fun I'm going to walk you through the process of generating a character for the original 1974 edition of Dungeons & Dragons. I'm just going to use Men & Magic for this one but might do another one later with the supplements!

First, we get some dice. Three six-sided ones to be exact. I'm actually going to grab some with pips rather than numbers because that feels more authentic. Then, we roll and record their sum, repeating five more times, generating six ability scores. Here we go!

Strength 9 Intelligence 17 Wisdom 12 Constitution 16 Dexterity 13 Charisma 13

Yippee! As a witch these make me very happy indeed.

Next, we'll pick a class to play. Based on the abilities I rolled I'm of course going to pick the magic-user (the witch class didn't exist yet, alas). And as a magic-user, I'm actually allowed to futz with the numbers a bit, removing two points from Wisdom to gain an extra point in Intelligence. This gives us our finalised array, and we can now know the effects of each ability on the character.

Strength 9: no effect Intelligence 18: +10% to earned experience, eight extra languages Wisdom 10: no effect Constitution 16: +1 to each hit die, 100% chance to survive certain spells Dexterity 13: +1 to missile fire Charisma 13: maximum of 5 hirelings with +1 loyalty

Okay, languages. The character speaks the common tongue of the continent she lives in, along with an alignment language. I'm going to pick Neutral as my alignment so that's the language I speak. I also speak eight creature languages, which I'm going to pick later.

For equipment, we're going to grab our trusty 3d6 again, roll them, and mulitply by ten to find out how many gold pieces we have. I rolled 10, so I have 100 GP. I'm going to buy a dagger, the only weapon a magic-user is allowed. In addition I will buy 50' of rope, a large sack (for treasure), a leather back pack, a water skin, six torches, a flask of oil, a small silver mirror, a bunch of wolvesbane (in case of werewolves), a bunch of belladonna, and a bug of garlic (in case of vampires, or pizza). Not sure what the belladonna is useful for but you can never be too sure. This leaves me with 48 gold pieces that I will use to buy rations when I'm heading on an expedition of some sort. To calculate my encumbrance, I add my dagger's weight in gold pieces (20) to that of my miscaellanoues equipment (always 80, though a referee is allowed to make sure this stays within reason), for 100 GP of weight. I'm well within the limit for light foot movement, which will likely mean I'll have the responsibility of hauling loot out of the dungeon. Maybe I should invest in a second sack…

As a magic-user of the 1st level, I am titled a Medium, and will require 2,500 experience points to reach 2nd level (Seer). I roll 1 die (six-sided), adding +1 for my Constitution getting a total of 2… Tha'ts how many hits my magic-user can take before death. Let's hope she rolls better on the next level, assuming she survives. She fights with the strength of one man!

I can memorise one 1st level spell for my journey. Not knowing what I might face in the dungeon, I pick something witchy that I think can really save the group's butts: Sleep. All level 1 spells are in my spellbook so I don't need to worry about which ones I can memorise.

And that's pretty much it! Now we just give the character an imaginative name… How about Naiviv?

Onwards to adventure and glory, Naiviv the Medium!

[genderqueerdykes]

I'm so sick of perisex trans people telling me I can't be transmasc as an amab person. I'm fucking intersex and never had a real puberty let alone a really masc one. I grew some tiny tits and almost no beard, just some fluff. People constantly called me young lady all my teenage and young adult years. I was always looking too fem to be seen as a man but also not fem enough to just pass as a woman. But yea sure, no transition required here at all because i was born with a fucking dick. Cause what's in my pants is the only important thing when it comes to me being allowed to use the trans label.

hey, thank you for taking the time to send this! your story deserves to be told

i honestly don't understand why perisex trans people get so worked up about it. it's a very common, just not talked about experience. i get feedback from amab transmasculine people all the time, nobody wants to listen. amab transmasculine people get talked over so hard for the sake of petty internet drama it's so sad. that doesn't need to be happening. who does that benefit?

people really are way too focused on genitals right now. it's disturbing, and you should say it. that's just literally what we're dealing with right now. people are being predatory as hell right now, feeling like they NEED to know A.) the genitals someone currently has and/or B.) the genitals they were born with. i really just don't understand why that's the state of affairs right now. but every time people try to talk about it, it gets shut down. no matter what.

i just don't quite understand why perisex people are getting so defensive on the "behalf" of intersex people right now, it's so rude. it's hurting people, and we didn't ask you to do that. intersex people don't like you more when you hurt people for no reason. also, no one should feel obligated to divulge whether or not they are perisex, intersex, or something else. i don't like that people have to divulge any of this. you are allowed to control how much information you share about yourself on the internet. your safety and privacy is important. i think people feel way too entitled to very personal details about strangers at all times and it's frightening.

harassing you doesn't help me. i'm intersex. how does this help me, or any other intersex person? it just creates a situation where someone else has to step in to help. you're not accomplishing anything. i have no idea why people think hostility within queer spaces is a good thing but it's just so old. i want you to live as yourself, however you want to identify yourself as

of course you're transmasc. that's a very transmasculine experience, it doesn't make any sense to me why it matters to anyone. you are the arbiter of your own lived experience, nobody has any right to tell you how you identify. besides, in my eyes... aren't more transmascs a good thing ? that's what i thought, anyway. like that makes me happy. the more diversity in transmasc spaces, the better. i don't need to know anything about your body, or anyone else's. i don't like that. it's not productive. it's predatory. it's creepy. it's gross. it's invalidating.

thanks for stopping by, i hope things just like. calm the hell down. i just can't entertain that behavior it's damaging and i don't know why anyone is enjoying getting riled up anymore. just let people be. let amab transmasculine people talk

[onbearfeet]

Grew up in that end of the culture, and I'd just like to add:

For a lot of American parents, it is SPECIFICALLY about having the legal right to hit their kids.

It's called "spanking" here, which sounds cutesy, but it actually encompasses everything from a swat on the ass (bare or otherwise) to a full-on beating. It's a big part of American culture, especially for anyone who was a kid before 1980 or so.

When I was growing up in the 90s, people talked about the CRC like it was an Orwellian monster, Big Brother coming to brainwash your children into communism. And the first thing people brought up, since it always got a loud reaction, was, "They wanna outlaw SPANKING! They think SPANKING is CHILD ABUSE!" Cue horrified, derisive laughter. After all, who would want to ban something as wholesome and all-American as spanking?

Well, as it turns out, hitting your kids is still bad for them even if you give it a cute name. It's also terrible parenting. I got spanked as a child, and I can't tell you what it was usually for because I don't remember a single one of my "crimes". I only remember being terrified and confused about why my parents seemingly went back to normal right afterward. I didn't learn a damn thing from it except that my father couldn't be trusted not to hurt me. And that's not a rare experience--studies bear it out as quite common.

If you're American and you'd like some reading on why spanking happens and is not, in fact, cool and normal ... or if you're NOT American and you're trying to understand why the fuck so many Americans make a religious ritual out of hitting their children ... I recommend Talia Lavin's essay series "Ministry of Violence", available in full here:

And in case it needs saying: don't hit your kids, or I'll send the bears after you. I know violence doesn't teach anyone anything, but bears are great at making sure nobody needs to learn any more lessons.

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

[marzipanandminutiae]

I never fully understood your annoyance to corset misinformation being spread around, until I went today to an exhibition in a museum about female fashion history, and of course the corset was presented as an item of torture and female repression which we were thankfully saved from by people in the 20th century, thank god, and I wanted to personally go argue with the curator and historian (the exhibition was nicely organized and not all of it was misinformed, but the areas about the 16th to 18th century definitely made me almost scream). It also made mention of the "many illnesses and health problems" all corsets caused to women. So yeah, it was an experience

Yeeeeep.

It's incredibly pervasive- this kind of idea about historical women's clothing, and its sister ideas like Nobody Can Function In Long Skirts Ever, are incredibly common even in the field with professionals who should know better. I've literally been talking to a curator who specialized in clothing history and heard her say "of course, these clothes WERE bad for your health" as a foregone conclusion (she didn't elaborate further and I didn't want to step on toes but in hindsight I should have pushed back a little).

And in the case of that exhibit, they're apparently ignoring the fact that corset-like garments persisted in western fashion up to the 1980s, but as the pure shapewear they believe the earlier examples to be. They may have been called "girdles" or what have you, but women were wearing something around their midsection for no purpose besides body-shaping with remarkable consistency until about 40 years ago. My mother and grandmother remembered wearing them. They just lacked the functional uses of earlier corsets (besides, at times, holding stockings up). So how's that LiberationTM story looking for you now?

I swear, when fashion starts looking more familiar to them and less alien, they just start assuming it was all the same underneath. And these are museum professionals. SMH, indeed.

[yuyusshinelight]

Can I request a smut with Dom!Jongho and pregnant wife reader? She’s always so needy especially when Jongho comes home from work/practice and he gives in everytime 🥹

Hi my shining star! Of course you can. It’s a really good scenario that I will gladly write for you🩷. I don't know if that was what you were expecting but I really hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it🫶🏻

Warnings: established marriage, pregnancy sex, reader is so needy, fingering, breast playing, lactation kink?, use of pet names, dom-sub subtle dynamic.

It is common knowledge that during pregnancy, women can experience an increase in their sexual desire, attributed to several physical, hormonal and emotional factors that vary from woman to woman. That's what the doctor told you in your first check-ups. Also all those books of pregnancy and parenthood. And the warnings his hyungs that already had children gave him as soon as they found out he was going to be a father too. What Jongho didn't expect was that it could become such a fervent desire, able to make you throw yourself into his fly as soon as you heard the front door. In the first trimester you were already showing signs of needing him closer than ever, but now, just entering the second trimester of your pregnancy, it seems as if all you need to live is to feel him as deeply as humanly possible. Oh, and your chocolate dipped pickles.

Seeing you so desperate to feel every inch of your hot, needy body covered with his love to the point of begging him with those teary eyes makes Jongho give in and indulge you with exactly what you're asking him: satisfy that fiery, burning passion that has you so unhinged.

So, as he has been doing those last two weeks, Jongho is already preparing himself to welcome you into his arms as soon as the door opens. He can even feel your hands wrap around his waist while your lips beg for his. The surprise he ran into when he didn't find you running towards him. Your absence in his arms even worries him badly. Aren't you at home? No, you would have told him if that was the case… What if you are not feeling well and you've decided to lie down for a while?

Leaving the things in the doorway as soon as he closes the door without worrying about how they are positioned or whether it is the right place, Jongho goes into the darkness of his house, making sure you are not asleep on the couch, only to go straight to your bedroom and finally be met with the gratifying surprise of hearing his name in soft desperate sights accompanied by those lovely moans of pleasure with which you drives him crazy every time since your very first time together. All his previous concern quickly fades away, making place to a burning desire to make you scream his name at the top of your lungs.

Not wanting to make neither of you wait a single second more, Jongho opens the door of your shared bedroom, making you stop whatever you were doing instantly and get partially up on your spot for the surprise, one of your hands as your support. You were so immersed in making yourself cum that you haven't heard the door “Jagi…” it's the only thing you can say, the embarrassment of having been caught and his heavy gaze on your half covered body make your heart race enough to be unable to utter anything else. Although there's no necessity to say anything. It's obvious what you were doing as it's also obvious from that look Jongho is giving you that those blankets that are covering you up and not allowing him to see your glistening, slippery cunt have to be removed from you now.

“Hi, Y/N-ah. How was your day? Has our little one been giving you a hard time today?” He says like he does every day, as normal as if he wasn't about to make you cum on his fingers right now. With a calm step he approaches the bed, sitting down next to you to caress your growing belly properly, his eyes fixed on that place even when you answer him that you have had a hard day with the increasing breast pains and sudden fatigue that should have appeared later in the pregnancy “Sorry to hear that, babe” he says before leaning towards your belly and press a soft kiss on it just to look up at you “Want me to take care of those pains?” And, knowing the true meaning hidden in those tenderly recited words, you nod desperately.

From the moment your insatiable clit has been practically crying for attention, you have wanted your husband to be the one to take care of it, and now that he can touch you, you are not going to say no. Obviously.

“Please” your voice comes out like a thin, fragile thread while one of your hands drives his free hand to your breasts, squeezing one with his for a brief second “I need you so bad” Your voice is almost trembling from the sudden contact, your legs squeezing together in a pathetic attempt to give some relief to your demanding cunt. Everything in you screams how desperate you really are “I know” his voice sounds calm, the proximity of your faces now warns you of what's to come “That's why daddy is going to take care of everything now” with a comforting gentleness, Jongho moves the hand you have put in your breast to take your chin between his index and thumb “Mommy only has to worry about enjoying every single moment, okay?” His body leans gently towards yours to pick your lips one brief time, whispering against them “Lie down for me”.

With such a clear command and the promise of making you feel better than your fingers in his voice, you do exactly as he says, settling back into the pile of cushions you had prepared earlier. Your gaze is fixed on your husband, following his every move carefully calculated to capture your full attention. Normally you would be the one doing it, there is nothing you like more than to undress Jongho slowly while giving a special lovely treatment to every new bare part of his body you see. But he has been quite clear when he has told you to just relax and disobeying him has never been an option for you, so you just stay there, delighting in watching how he slowly peels back layer after layer of cloth covering his body until he is left alone in his underwear.

“I will need you to take those out of my way, babe” he suddenly says, pointing at the blankets you still have covering your body just for you to almost kick them off, making Jongho laugh cutely. He knows pretty well that you would have done it without blinking if it weren't for your lovely, bulging belly “Someone is desperate, uh?”.

“I am, yes” you say with a pout, your tone sounds comically annoyed which makes Jongho laugh again “I can't leave you like this, can I?” Question that you answer with a childish shake of your head. Being careful not to press too hard on your belly, Jongho lies partially on top of you, kissing you on the lips before lowering his head to your breasts which he discovers when he removes the shirt without breaking eye contact with you “Are you already producing milk?” He asks absentmindedly, all his attention on how soft and round your boobs look today until his intrusive thoughts lead him to bury his face in the soft valley of your breasts to leave butterfly kisses all over the surface, drawing tiny, tender sighs from you with each kiss “As far as I know, no, but we can always discover it now” your hand is comfortably placed on the top of his head, caressing carefully his hair while he keeps kissing your breasts indistinctly. And from the way your husband suddenly looks at you, he seems to love the idea “Then let's discover it”.

Without even a second thought, his tongue is already playing with your sensitive, erect nipple, slowly preparing it for what is to come. But, as the soft sounds you're giving him don't seem to be enough for the already horny idol, Jongho brings one of his hands down slowly, taking his time to caressing your bulging belly gently. Feeling his baby on your tummy under the palm of his hand is something that fascinates him, he still can't believe that you two made that tiny life that is growing inside you. Jongho is looking forward to finally holding your baby in his arms.

Following its previous path, Jongho inserts his hand inside your now wet panties. With his tongue on your sensitive nipple and his fingers subtly brushing your slippery folds, a shiver runs through your extra sensitive body from the exaggerated amount of increased hormones like an electric current, making you even sob in pure excitement. But that's not sufficient. You really are desperate either for his fingers playing with your cunt or his cock splitting you deliciously good.

“Jagi, please” in an attempt to erase that burning sensation inside your hot body, you lift your hips just a few centimetres to press his fingers where you need; but it doesn't go beyond that, an attempt, thanks to the extra weight of your baby and the father lovingly forcing your hips back to their previous position “Let's go slow babe, let me prepare you well for me” Jongho's hot breath against your now wet nipple when he cuts his task to answer you instantly makes your skin crawl, closing the hand that grips his hair with a certain force “I have prepared myself enough already. Please, skip the teasing”.

You know perfectly well that this attitude usually doesn't work with your dominant husband who doesn't like to be told what he has to do, but lately he has been spoiling you a little too much so, maybe, he will let it go this time. Also, he has to take responsibility for your neediness, it's his fault after all. Jongho is so deliciously addictive that you can never get enough of him, especially now with your hormones revved up by pregnancy, forcing you to want to have him inside you all day long.

And that's precisely the reason Jongho nods to your request, giving you a short kiss on your sternon before taking your lovely pink mound back into his mouth to suck at his whim and stick two fingers at once into your tight, slippery pussy. He may not like it when you tell him what to do during sex but, being aware of such a change you are undergoing in your body because of your baby, the least he can do is to give in and do absolutely everything you want. Not like he doesn't like spoiling you.

The way in which your husband is taking care of your needy, hot body has you in cloud nine. With just the swaying of his fingers in and out of you, alternating between scissoring and pressing upwards on your fleshy wall to find your sweet spot, he has you completely immersed in a wave of intense pleasure that makes your body tremble. Now add that the delicacy with which his mouth is stimulating your boob. You could die of pleasure right now.

It is truly fascinating as well as chilling how Jongho has the ability to induce you in such a high that can make you lose your mind completely with just a few minutes of that melodic movement of his fingers combined with his tongue.

The gentle movement of his body over yours only increases your already agitated breathing, you can even hear your heart pumping in your ears. You can't stop that string of moans with his name that cascades from between your lips, it's not like you want to stop it either. You know perfectly well what effect each of your sounds have on him, especially how crazy it drives him when he hears you meowing his name in such a blatant and pornographic way like you're doing right now.

But then Jongho stops sucking on your nipple with a really cute pop, his lips leaving that boob to go to the other, brushing gently over your unattended mound which makes you whimper in a needy sob “Feels better, babe?” his fingers keep moving on your cunt, his thumb going to give some attention to your clit ”I know your breasts have been hurting so much lately” for the pleasure he is giving you, you can't pronounce anything but his name so you just nod ”My poor girl” his lips leaving a trail of kisses from your breast to your jaw, making you sigh with each sweet touch ”Don't worry, love, I'm going to make sure they don't hurt anymore” and with that said, he gives you a tender kiss on the lips to which you respond more than delight, entwining your fingers through his locks while his free hand gently trails down his torso until it reaches his boxer line, wanting to go lower to make him feel as good as he's doing with you but Jongho has another plans on mind “Don't, babe” his hot breath against your lips when he breaks the kiss “Today it's all about you”.

“That's not fair for you” you reply between soft sights, his fingers never stopping playing between you wet, gummy walls and throbbing clit. But Jongho shakes his head, picking briefly your lips one last time before going down again “So sweet of you, love, but I'm fine” he says, stopping at your neck to leave a little hickey, his thumb circling your clit a bit harder when he feels how your walls start to squeeze his fingers with more force, warning of your impending orgasm “Now, let's make you cum”.

Without giving you time to reply to him, Jongho lowers his head to your breasts and takes your nipple on it one more time, sucking deliciously hard on it while his fingers speed up in your cunt which makes you burst into screams. You're madly in love with the aggressive sweetness with which he is giving you all this overflowing pleasure. And then you get that familiar, longed-for feeling in your belly, making you squirm. You are very close to reaching your climax and Jongho obviously knows it, so he increases the speed of his fingers, gently biting your sensitive mound as he knows you like it before flicking his tongue around it and sucking hard again. You are there, right there, just a few strokes more of his thumb on your clit and you finally come with a loud pornographic moan of his name.

Your expressions, your sounds, your walls contracting so intensely around his fingers, the amount of delicious fluid gushing from your churning pussy. Your orgasm has been so intense that Jongho has become extremely aroused. His cock demands furiously to bury itself to the hilt deep inside your heat.

“Everything good, babe?” You just nod at him, still trying to catch your breath “Feel good?” And, again, you just nod at him but, this time, you take his gorgeous face between your hands to approach him and catch his lips in a deep, messy kiss to which he clearly responds. And you stay like that for a long time, your tongues intertwined in a passionate and loud kiss until your lungs beg for a breath of air.

“Well…” he starts, completely breathless after almost eating your mouth "you don't seem to be producing milk yet, babe. I'll have to check again tomorrow” that comment makes you laugh, making you blush a bit embarrassed. But Jongho knows that smile, he knows you're looking forward to it already. Like him, let's not lie "But for now, spread your legs wide” he puts one of his hands on your inner thigh, spreading it a bit while he moves from his spot at your side to get between your legs "I'll give you mine".

[veggiesxxx]

What if… GENSHIN EDITION . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖

What if.... (Part 3/?)

Kaeya got jealous of you hanging around Diluc?

It was an odd pair to see. The reserved boss of Dawn Winery and the slightly chattier Y/N. Diluc was distant and often unapproachable with his signature frown and monotone voice— yet strangely enough, he was surprisingly easy to open up to when you had the chance to talk.

Considering your partner, the ever-charming Calvary Captain Kaeya, silver-tongued with a remarkable knack for getting people to tell him things, seeing you enjoy your conversations with Diluc was unusual, to say the least. The brothers were polar opposites; one sociable and charming, while the other was cool and aloof. Yet they had one thing in common– their habit of hiding their true emotions.

Somehow, you got along with them both, despite their difference in personalities.

Tonight, you placed a glass back onto the damp coaster with "Angel's Share" printed on it. You were intently listening to Diluc recount an experience with a particularly difficult Abyss creature in a voice that lacked all emotion.

Unbeknownst to you, the Calvary Captain had sauntered in, hoping to 'accidentally' find a man suspected of withholding information related to his recent mission. He froze at the doorway, eyes narrowing at the sight of his beloved and Diluc together at a small round table.

"Ah, there you are." Kaeya drawled, an arm snaking around your shoulders. The fur that adorned his attire tickled your neck. The mission could wait— he had something more urgent to deal with.

"K-Kaeya!" You exclaimed, startled but happy to see him. "Why're you-"

"Didn't think I'd find my favourite person here, so cozy with the wine boss,"

"Don't cut me off. Why're you here? You said you had to work overtime." You frowned, puffing out your cheeks, glancing up at the unfairly handsome man. 'Oh.. Well, I just thought I'd find something interesting here tonight.."

 He turned to Diluc with a pointed grin.

Diluc’s gaze didn’t waver. “Relax, Kaeya. We’re having a normal conversation.”

Kaeya’s smile tightened, his gloved hand lingering a moment too long on your shoulder. “I do hope you're not boring her with another boring story, Diluc."

Diluc sighed, clearly unamused. “Not everything is a competition, Kaeya. Relax.”

"Don't flatter yourself," Kaeya smoothly interrupted, his words aimed to insult but with his honeyed tone, they sounded almost harmless. "And I am perfectly relaxed, though I do appreciate the sentiment."

Though, if it were a competition, Kaeya would win it all too easily. You thought.

Diluc just rubbed the bridge of his nose with a gloved thumb and index, closing his eyes and biting back a retort. "If you're just here to disrupt the peace, don't bother-"

Before you could protest, Kaeya gently tugged you off the chair and steered you toward the bar of the tavern.

“Kaeya, what are you-”

“Making sure my partner isn’t stolen right out from under my nose,” he said, cutting you off with a sharp smirk. But the way his hand hovered at your lower back hinted at his possessiveness.

You frowned. “Are you seriously jealous of Diluc?”

“Jealous?” His laugh was low and dismissive, though his jaw tightened. “Me? That’s absurd.”

"You didn't need to hover like that,"

"Hover? I was just enjoying the atmosphere. Not that you'd understand... the atmosphere down there for shorties like you is quite different, isn't it?" He teased, trying to subconsciously brush off your words about his jealousy, to avoid a serious conversation.

"Right,” you said, giving him a knowing smile, ignoring his teasing. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with Diluc, would it?”

Kaeya chuckled, his smirk unfaltering. “Why would it? I’ve no reason to be bothered by such things.” He continued, taking your hand in his, casually intertwining his fingers with yours.

You didn’t press further, only leaning closer as you whispered, “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

His step faltered, but he recovered quickly, tilting his head with a low laugh. “Am I now? I’ll have to remember that.”

Though he brushed it off, the satisfied gleam in his eye told you he wasn’t upset about you noticing.

"How about I buy you a drink to apologise for my little... outburst?" he tilted his head to the side, his blue hair flopping over in a certain way. You laughed, the sound lingering in his ears like a melody he yearned to hear all the time.

"Lead the way, Captain."

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧༶

Hope you enjoyed!!

Previously :

╰┈➤ Part 2 (What if Scaramouche ignored you after an argument?)

Next:

╰┈➤ Part 4 [coming soon] (What if—..)

[red-cicada]

Okay idk if you guys care about my ideas at all but I do. \

Basically at this point I think these foos are just turning into my own version of reanimator ( not everything I draw of them is supposed to be taken seriously I just want yall to know that, like there is work I think of as true to my own story and the ones that are just for fun! )

Some other changes or things I think about for if i made a reanimator uhh show or interpretation whatever its called.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First I would make Francesca Peruvian I just would don't ask me why.

Dan and Herbert of course have some homoerotic stuff going on and things that defiantly question their relationship with each other but the ONLY time that they ever had some sort of sexual relationship is when they where in Peru. Its just very common in war for men to engage in homosexual relationships and this is the only time i think it would make sense ( this of course tho would be brough up in later times during what would be in the bride timeline )

Dan would of have been with Francesca long before even the idea of making the bride, and when the bride is in the process of being created he would start to pull away from Francesca leading her to going into their home and finding their lab and experiments ect:

I know some of you hate this idea but I would have Dan betray Herbert and turn him into the police, He would then later regret his choice because Francesca wont stay with him (obviously), meg is dead, the bride didn't work, because of the case he's lost his job and medical license he's lost everything. So he would try to get Herbert back or forgive him in some way ( like those prison pages I made except it wouldn't be until very late into the trails when dan regrets his choice, and the one that's kinda jokey but kinda not where dan tries multiple times to set up a visitation ) I can elaborate on this part further if you guys are interested in what I have to say.

There would be a lot more time of Herbert in prison and how that's effected him, like his eating pattern changing, he's a lot more clean and organized, he's more struck with pattern and time ect: AND would make it more clear that Herbert DID get physically stronger in prison, most prison systems have some sort of mandatory labor, and also as much as folks don't like to think about the violence that happens in prisons Herbert would be a big time criminals and some people are going to want to test that Herbert would have to find a way to protect himself. ( he's also just annoying people are going to want to beat him up )

Oh and also I feel like ( at least I haven't seen any ) folk don't speak about how being attacked by reanimated corpses, the experiments, war, and being in prison would have given Dan AND Herbert serious PTSD, and I would personally love to explore that idea. One of the things i loved in the original reanimator is that Herbert was constantly paranoid about his first reanimated corpse coming back to kill him.

ANYWAYS that's all my though for now, I have a lot more but everything's mixed up, I need to make a timeline and write down my ideas in a more organized way.

they should make a show like Hannibal but for re-animator, and they should let me direct and write and also let me play Herbert West

[crowley-winter-boots]

Instead of humouring the messages in the screenshot, I would like to make a post regarding people who think this way. DO NOT LOOK FOR THIS INDIVIDUAL OR HARASS THEM. I know people like to jump the gun and do that online, so please don't bother with it. I am making this post to address, that you can in fact, still protest without attending mass protests and that not everyone is able to attend those mass protests.

(*Notice how I didn't "name call", I said "I won't reply anymore as I'm PRETTY SURE you're trolling." I was making an observation based on past experiences, and I'm still convinced they were only saying this to cause problems.)

You CAN still protest without going to larger protests. Its OKAY if you can't attend those large protests.

Here are some ways you can help out if you're unable to go to a protest!

Spread the word

One of the best ways to get people to attend is to tell other people about it! The more people that know, the more that can know when and where to show up.

Find a way that fits you to do something as an individual

There are a few ways you can go about this, but here is what I've personally been doing:

- I've been wearing a pride flag to school. Specifically, the trans flag. Pride flags banned from hanging up in schools? Nothing in the dress code that denies it. It will make people angry and confused, but it will also make people like you feel seen. I've had a lot of negative reactions from students and teachers alike, but there have been fellow queer kids who walk up to me and talk to me about my flag, often saying they wish they had one of their own. I'm planning on painting "WE THE PEOPLE" on it soon (I was going to this weekend, but there was too much going on and I didn't want to start a project I couldn't finish before school on Monday.)

- Make a battle vest (or any other punk fashion, such as crust pants!) I've been working on mine, and will post the patches and progress soon. I've been meaning to make one for a while for myself, but put it off until recently. I'll also make a post going more into detail on how you can make punk fashion yourself, and the ideology of punks.

**PLEASE NOTE. Both of these can be dangerous. Especially wearing a pride flag, as there is't anything that can make it safer. With the punk fashion, there are ways to make it safer, and I'll go more into detail on that on my other post: but essentially, you don't want any political statements or pride flags on the back. You won't see anyone coming, and they'll be less likely to attack you if they see it from the front.

Talk to local activist groups to set one up in your area

I'm not too sure about how this process works, as I haven't yet contacted any local activist groups to set up a protest. I'm not even sure if that's how you CAN set up a protest, but I asked around and this was the answer I had gotten. I'll make an update once I figure out how to set up a protest and if I personally was able to (and the details of the protest, ofc!)

Make signs or stickers to post in your community

There are a lot of ways you can make signs and/or stickers! I've never made a sign myself, so you'll have to do the research yourself for that, but you could make them as flyers with paper as well. But with stickers, they're relatively easy to make! I sold some for a while, and made about $250 off of it in just a few weeks by selling them on my school campus. You just need a pack of sticker paper (GLOSSY makes it shiny, MATTE makes it flat like printer paper,) a printer, and some kind of art app to import your images on. Fitting stickers is like a jigsaw puzzle- you'll need to rotate them at weird angles and fit any nook into any cranny. Find patterns, repeating patterns will make the process easier. The goal is to have as little white space as possible- but that being said, leave enough room between each sticker to give a solid border. A common mistake I made when I first started making stickers was overlapping the edges.

Join communities online

Discord servers are a good way to find online communities for people who want to oppose the American government! I am in a server that shares resources, information, protest days, and more. I can share the link in DMs, and you can also look online to find more.

Start a social media platform

That's what my blog is for! I'm posting online as a form of protest. There are a number of social media platforms (except Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok....) that you can advocate on. I do believe Tumblr and YouTube are the safest ones, and therefore have the biggest communities on there.

Buy banned books

THESE WON'T BE SOLD ANYMORE, SOON. They are information and knowledge the government is afraid of. The Diary of Anne Frank is on the list, which just goes to show how far they're going in this. They know they're fascists. They know America is going through the same beginning stages of a fascist dictator's overtake of a country. You can find a lot of these secondhand before they're gone. Find PDFs online of the books and download them in a place they can't be deleted. Physical copies are much better to have as they can't be taken away.

Pirate and get physical copies of music

Alphatron, FMovies, those are good sites for live action. WCO.tv is a good site for cartoons (and as far as I know, perfectly legal online archive!)

Learn how to burn CDs. Collect CDs. Collect vinyl records. And please, for the love of the Gods, DON'T USE SPOTIFY. I used Spotify because it was the easiest option for me, but they financially supported Trump's campaign. I switched to YouTube Music. Even the free version of Spotify supports the company- every song you listen to and every advertisement you sit through puts more coins into their bank account. I also have a vinyl collection I've been growing for 3-4 years. I'm thinking about learning how to burn CDs and get a Walkman (I currently don't have money, but I'm looking to get a job soon.) Like with the banned books, physical copies are the best. They'll have to pry it from your cold, dead hands.

That's all I have for now!! Feel free to add onto this with your own ways to protest and/or additional information from what I've already put.

[sandandlightning]

Let's talk about Wicca

Had a really weird interaction the other day. I don't know if I am Too Young™ or Too Old™ or what, but basically I ran into someone trying to... cancel it? The whole thing? I... have not heard that one before, so I wanted to ask? Talk about it? Start a conversation? Figure out a general what the fuck? Something. It left me a bit shook tbh. More details below the cut on my experiences if interested.

So what have y'all's experiences been? I want to hear from people. Has wicca treated you well? Poorly? Was it an awkward stepping stone to more focused disciplines like it was for many people I know? Was it where you settled? Did you interact with both good and bad groups? Is this 'canceling' of wicca a thing the kids are doing these days? Or another gen are doing these days? Like I just... I guess, I want to know where the fuck this all came from, because outside of a rep of being 'babys first magic time' I hadn't been aware of it being Problematic™

It started when I mentioned researching wicca in my early teens and preteens as many witches in my day did when on the start of their journeys. Not even saying that I practiced it (well, got cut off before I could say much) just mentioned it being a pool i was sticking a tow into to educate myself. Didn't huh, didn't think this would be controversial?

I was interrupted with a 'SO GLAD I never had to deal with any of that messed up stuff LOL' I was really thrown. No religion is perfect, wicca is no exception, but that was pretty harsh. I asked, and I got a lecture about how it was 'basically just an elitist cult started by two white guys appropriating a bunch of things from different cultures.'

So you know 0 to 90 a bit. No pulling punches. Aite.

Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware that wicca is a neopagan movement that is incredibly modern and has cherry picked certain practices from our (or well, certain groups) ancestors. Like any movement there are groups that are catty and snobby and elitist, and ones that are chills and loosey goosey. Also you know, definitionally, most religions are started when 'some guy decided to write some shit down' it's what you do with that information that gives it meaning.

I never once interacted with wicca in a way that made it 'culty'. Vast majority of people I knew were solo practitioners int he late 90s through 2010s. Most people recognized it as a structure guideline and didn't yell at people for not following things to a letter- it just became a popular format for eclectic work that gave people *some* common ground while letting you plug in the obscure deities from different pantheons you clicked with without going the full reconstructionist route. That's how it was for me.

I never identified as a 'wiccan' but I definitely adopted lots of 'wiccan practices'. I like the wheel of the year- mostly because I live in a deciduous, four seasons environment and relate to Kemetic and fertile crescent gods with different seasons. It's easier for me to sort of match them to these 'weather appropriate holidays' than celebrate harvests in February on a Kemetic calendar.

I did but heads with the 'fluffy bunny' movement- dunno how much of a thing that still is or isn't. I'm pro curse, I'm also pro curse responsibly. I don't think I'm going to get karmic retribution for once again asking the spirits to do something about uh, certain politicians, ya know? I consider my 'cure' work more of a user feedback for karma to better identify appropriate targets. But it used to be a THING that people would like, completely patricide you if you 'used black magic' etc etc. burning some energy hoping a guy who cut me off in traffic get stopped at every red light is not really... Uh... Damnation worthy i don't think tho.

But this didn't seem to be about that? It seemed to be about well one, claims of cultural appropriation- which... I feel like in this case is just throwing that word around so you are harder to argue with. I mean I guess technically but also it's white people pulling from their own white ancestors so I am legit confused. It also falls into the category of 'america and Europe have very different relationships with their folk traditions and paganism' thing a lot of Americans aren't aware of. Like sure, we watered some stuff down, but wicca to me was always presented specifically as a like... Frame work, not end all be all?

It was also presented as people publishing these things wholly with malicious intent. Honestly? No idea. By the time I worked with wicca it was so divorced from the source material and it's own thing I legitimately don't know how to factor this. Best I could come up with was the sort of harry potter fan vs Rowling being a terf thing- some people are refusing to let her ruin this thing important to them and making it their own. Just because a guy started it at a time doesn't mean the modern variant is at all reflective of its current practice.

This interaction came off to me, honestly, as someone with a lot of ingrained elitism favoring only 'pure reconstruction' practice. Obviously, I did not like the implication I was lessor/naive/had done something wrong for so much as learning about a practice. That's... A dangerous hot take right there. Even if something isn't perfect you can learn from it, even if you don't use anything from it. Like... Come one.

[boykingscourt]

What are your thoughts on Wincest? Do you have any hcs?

oooh I'm excited for this! good opportunity for me to clarify some things if anyone is new around here or just curious

if you're here for the short version, I'm definitely a wincest respecter but not necessarily a wincest shipper

if you're here for the long and more nuanced version, please read on!

I have a lot friends both here and irl who are wincesties, but the most important thing for me is that they love and defend sam. I've read wincest fics and the presence of wincest is not a deal-breaker in fics, but I prefer reading gen sam and dean on the whole. it's fun to analyze something in the show with the wincest lens on, but I can just as easily take it off. ultimately wincest is not the only version of sam and dean that I find compelling, but I don't really care if people view some of my posts as wincest (wincesties, please do interact) because I only say what I think and feel regarding the brothers. idk does that technically make me a wincest shipper? maybe some people will think it does, but ultimately I feel like the nonshipper label fits better

now I'm gonna get on my soapbox about proshipping for a moment. back in the day, what we think of as "proshipping" was just called common courtesy. I'm not saying fandom was perfect when I was younger (and I was probably too young to be in fandom then if I'm being honest) but in my experience people were more respectful about ships they didn't like, understood the difference between fiction and reality, and for the most part didn't make assumptions about people irl for things they enjoyed in fiction

of course I'm not saying you have to ship incest or want to interact with people who do, but it's crucial to curate your own space. coming on here or twitter and harassing people for shipping wincest and/or crying in the main tags about how disgusting it is just makes me lose respect for you. block what you don't want to see and move on

I will also say that being so against others shipping incest and finding yourself in the supernatural fandom is kind of a problem you created. it's kind of, well, extremely silly. wincest is the oldest ship in this fandom, like literally as old as the pilot itself, and was instrumental in first getting the show off the ground (i.e. not cancelled). also given the very not normal relationship between sam and dean, the other gothic horror elements present in the show, and the way the writers and actors regard the ship, it really should be no surprise that it is so popular

okay so now that I've gotten all of that out of the way, I'm going to address the other part of this ask, which is wincest headcanons! I don't know if these are necessarily headcanons, but it is the way I prefer my wincest when I think about it or imagine how it fits in with canon:

I definitely don't imagine them as like boyfriends, just more of what they are in the show, brothers with a complicated, intense, and abusive relationship (it being complicated does not mean you cannot call abuse what it is). I think their relationship having a sexual component would not help anything and would probably just further highlight the power imbalance present

related to above, I think dean would use sex the way he uses love and affection in canon, expertly alternating between being generous with it and withdrawing it when he's angry as means to manipulate sam and have him constantly chasing after the affection. and trust. trust especially. sometimes dean isn't even aware he's doing it (or would at least tell himself that's not what he's doing to his darling little sammy), but it's extremely effective either way. seasons 4, 5, and 8 especially would be delicious in this regard

in s7 there was a point where sex was one of the only things that kept hallucifer at bay, so sam was always torn between shaking dean awake multiple times a night in their motel rooms or handling it on his own. ultimately because I think he didn't want to "burden" dean with his visions or have them both lacking sleep all the time, he would lie and pretend that one or two times a night made lucifer go away. it became harder to pretend as we approached 7x17, and after sam "let lucifer in" in 7x15, the sex trick stopped working too. also hallucifer eavesdropping or appearing over dean's shoulder as they're having sex is very appealing to me

dean is the dom. I really can't see that any other way

dean doesn't see what he does with sam as any reflection of his sexuality, aka "it's not gay and it's not incest it's just sammy." sam probably would see it as some kind of reflection of his sexuality but wouldn't see the point in voicing that

dean was experiencing attraction to sam for a while beforehand, but I don't think they began messing around until sam was a teenager. maybe it wasn't like full blown sex then, but it was definitely something. I think a bit of precedent just adds something fun to s1, especially with dean coming to get sam in the pilot and how they interact, all that time apart, and sam's grief and guilt/dean's guilt surrounding jessica

I hope you enjoyed and found something compelling in here! I am certainly no wincest connoisseur, but these are my opinions

[thehollowwriter]

RAAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS AHSJDJD. I did actually make a post a while back discussing how mysgony and favouritism towards men is especially blatant when it comes to parents. Mr and Mrs Rosehearts, Amity's parents (thank you for that btw I'm tired of Mr Blight being so babied), and even Vi and Silco from Arcane (Vi is not a mom and she and Silco aren't together obviously, but Vi is parentified and demonised as an abusive monster while Silco is regarded as the "best father in animated history")

Mrs Rosehearts is terrible of course, but it's very telling when fans take it and run and suddenly not only is she controlling, now she's homophobic and transphobic and racist even though there is 0 indication of that. Even I fell into this trap in the past, and looking back on it it's nothing but mysgony.

If Mr and Mrs Rosehearts were to trade places, it's very likely that, even though the fandom would still hate him, he would be given mountains of backstory and characterisation that would make him more sympathetic and human. In reality he, like you said, is either ignored or automatically assumed to be a victim too even though his silence and lack of action is also abuse (And, at least in my experience, that makes him almost worse than Mrs Rosehearts)

We barely know anything about Azul's bio dad, and though some people imagine him to be abusive, there's a lot of grace given to his character. If we were to make him Azul's bio mom instead, well, there would be a lot of character bashing and hatred and probably "I think Azul's bio mom is the reason he hates himself actually!" type of shit

Like op says, that it's fairly common to find some creators writing/drawing/etc mainly Mrs Rosehearts getting what she "deserves" by depicting her being hit by car, attacked, mutilated, murdered, having her life ruined, etc. This isn't necessarily bad on it's own, but it's the intense pleasure people get from it feels less like "justice" and more of a reminder of how much people subconsciously love watching female characters suffer even if it's for the most minor of things. It's uncomfortable. It's scary.

I know for a fact if she was a man it would just be "Oh silly Mister Rosehearts you need to go to therapy so you can stop traumatising your son lol" maybe "You need to be bonked on the head/beat up a bit and sent to therapy" at worst. (I'm an avid Rollo defender but even though people are fairly terrible to him, he still gets the "poor guy needs therapy" treatment and is not treated with anywhere near as much vitriol as Mrs Rosehearts)

Lilia, as much as I love him, isn't the best most perfect father in the whole wide world. He loves children deeply of course but he is also unintentionally neglectful and sometimes blind to their struggles (*gestures to book 7*) This is however simply brushed over and ignored (in fact it's treated more like "just silly fae family things") and it's a shame because it really does feel like something that's important to acknowledge.

There's also the problem of side characters who appear in events or in important story moments. Skully? Neige? Baul? Knight of Dawn? Tons of fanart, fanfic, theories, analysis, etc. So much appreciation for their designs, how they're written/their story overall, and so on, even if their appearances are brief. (*cough there's also the fact that Baul's wife gets tossed aside to ship him with Lilia and I've read too many fics where he's just cheating on her and it's just "Eh I didn't love her that much anyway" like come on :/)

But then we get to Najma (though she's a poc girl so she's ignored most of the time)... and Meleanor... and Dilla... hell, even Epel's grandmother, and it's "mommy" and art of them in skimpy clothes that barely hide anything (and in Najma's case from some art I've seen... incredibly racist "hot bellydancer" art) and "Milf! Milf! Milf!" "Ohhh her booobs..." which sure the other side characters got too... but the difference is that isn't *all* they got. People literally fell in love with a MOB STUDENT (Scarabia Student B iirc) and gave him all kinds of lore and characterisation, but these ladies barely get anything.

Yes there is some analysis mainly with Meleanor (but c'mon she's the most popular male twst characters' mom so :/) but there still isn't... much. Nobody cares unless it's turned into something hot and alluring. Nobody has much to say apart from lustful comments about their bodies.

Anyways yeah that's my rant for the day ansnsnsnddndnfn

It really is quite noticeable that when the male characters in TWST (even the one-off ones) do somethings fucked up that there's at least 10 people writing essays on how their pookie is So Much More Complex than that vs a woman being even mentioned negatively by a male character and therefore we get treated to people drawing her "getting what she deserves" and calling her a bitch.

[erinwantstowrite]

Hi I know you mentioned you being aroace just a couple days ago and I was wondering if maybe you could explain more in depth about how you found out your sexuality and what not? If it’s not too personal…

I’ve always sorta struggled since I haven’t had any crushes as a kid except for maybe one and that’s just cause ppl kept asking me who mine was… so I don’t even think it was a legit crush?? So not only do I not know who (looks,gender, that sorta thing) I would like … am I ever gonna like someone to even find that out???

I know you said Superman on the new trailer was hot ahaha so do you still experience that sort of physical attraction? I’ve been told when people question which gender they like, to pick which one looks more attractive to them but I’ve never really experienced that sort of physical attraction so I can’t tell that way either…

I think any thought of a crush forming was more towards their personality as well. Looks I guess are more of a second thought I think..? Even then I can’t tell if this is “you’re such an awesome person I wanna be besties with you” really strong feeling or an actual “I wanna date this person” feeling.

The only person I’ve gotten really close to discerning it as officially crush was someone from work who was older by a good amount… which can be/is pretty weird.. Lots of people my age are just a little too crazy for me.. I guess??? Idk and even now I can’t tell if that was just “glad to have someone as a friend sorta thing. I’m really sorry if this is too personal and u don’t have to respond to the ask directly either I was just hoping on maybe some advice for some clarity if possible… as I get older and realize I’ve never dated/had that sorta infatuation it feels so excluding at times.

Also I am hoping for a feast AND desert with this “‘soon’ but still haven’t posted it two days later” chapter plz and thank you

I hope this made sense and wasn’t too invasive!! :(

when i was younger, i was reading about this kind of thing online and i didn't find anyone like me. i think it's about time that i come full circle and make my own post. i've got like half of my frontal lobe developed and i've been figuring out a lot of things about myself these past couple of years, and there might be someone out there who needs to hear this (´-`ʃ♡ƪ) so if anyone is interested, below the cut is a very long talk about how i figured some stuff out

when it came to my sexuality, i only started considering it when i was in middle school, going into high school. (which would be when i was 12-13). that's when a lot of my friends started having crushes on our classmates and i realized they were being serious when they said they had crushes on people. they had figured out their identities as being a lesbian or bisexual, and they had relationships. (or as close as you can get to that in middle school).

i started to panic and think that i was lagging behind. and i really started to repress my feelings about dating people and romance and what that would entail. i found out through the internet about being pansexual. at the time i thought "oh, they have the same attraction for everyone!" and i slapped it on myself because i thought it would fix everything. i even came out to my parents as pansexual and for a while i left it at that.

i had an idea of romance. i shipped characters in media and i knew that my parents really loved each other. there were a lot of examples for love in my life that weren't the best, but having two parents that actually did care about each other made me want that for myself in the future...

but that's in the future. i personally didn't think about it much because we were still kids. for a while i didn't think anyone else was being serious, that they were just trying it out quicker than i was ready for. it was a strange feeling. i guess i still believed we were playing make believe, or copying what we saw on TV or with our parents. often when my friends asked me who i had a crush on and i felt pressured, i would pick someone that i thought i wouldn't mind dating if i had to. someone would be "interested" in me and i would say "okay" because i felt like that was part of this game we all seemed to be playing. i've had a few "boyfriends" over the years that got people off my back when i had them. in elementary school it was this boy that didn't pick on me, another boy that was my parents' friend's kid. in middle school i had an online boyfriend and a couple of "crushes" on friends of friends, someone just a little far out of my circle that didn't shake anything up. my friends would help me get together with a person and they'd seem so excited for me, so i just went along with it.

then it hit me that they weren't doing it just to do it, or playing pretend. they actually felt something when they were interacting with their crushes. i started to reread books and rewatch media and really grasp what they were saying. the feeling of having butterflies inside them when they talked to each other, blushing when something was said? i thought that was about a general anxiety people get when talking to other people. but there was always something more to it that i just... didn't get. no matter how hard i tried, i didn't understand what that something was.

then started coming the pressure to do the same, to fit in. that's why i accepted a label of pansexual. it was "strange" but at least it didn't feel "broken." i could deal with people telling me that i was wrong for liking more than just boys. but to say that there was no one on the table gave me an anxiety i'd never felt before. like i would be letting down my family, that the entire course of my life would shift. i wouldn't walk down the aisle because there would be no wedding. my parents wouldn't have grandkids. my friends would go on to have lives completely separate from mine, we'd have nothing in common anymore. so i stuffed it all down and made myself believe that this wasn't who i was.

it really mixed me up because i did have a couple of "crushes" that felt real. there were a few girls i was friends with, there were boys in my classes (usually class clowns...) that i'd get excited to see every day. when i thought about dating them, it felt nice. any other time when i thought about dating someone, i'd get this awful feeling in my gut that i later realized was dread. i was fully convinced it was different from all the other times. that "different" that i didn't understand before.

it was different! but not for the reason i thought it was. those people made me laugh, they listened and remembered things about me (that i didn't get much of during that time of my life), and most of all: they didn't like me back.

there were literally no expectations in their eyes for things to go away from friendship. and i think that's what made me like them, but not as a crush. it was relief. there was always an expectation for other people (specifically boys) that if we were friends, things would stray from friendship at some point. not with these people. that relief, combined with all the other good feelings they gave me (class clowns...) made it so much easier to fall into a friendship that i didn't have with other people. and i was in denial for so long that i thought of those friendships as crushes because they were different from other friendships.

there were a couple of times that i got close to having to face my sexuality and it felt like a gut punch. there were a couple of people i was friends with (that i didn't have crushes on) that i had previously thought "if i had to pick someone" about. but when they actually told me their feelings, i would run away. in one case, i literally ran away. i changed my entire routine so that i wouldn't have to face them. and i'm a creature of habit, so of course i took that step back and asked myself why i was having such a strong reaction. my friends didn't understand why i was so panicked about these confessions. especially because before, i "liked" people and had no problem with it.

part of my feelings were that no one would actually like me (which only furthered me not wanting/not considering romance). some of the confessions that i got were fake/pranks, and it would really mess with my head. i wasn't skinny, i knew i was strange and awkward, and i could be very brash and stubborn. i had a weird sense of humor and i missed social ques. i got a lot of "you should be a lawyer" and complaints of being bossy when i was growing up and i always knew they really meant "you're a bitch." i wouldn't understand why i felt so othered from my peers like that until i learned i was possibly autistic, and i only found that out a couple years ago. combined with being plus sized and not conventionally attractive, i didn't get much breathing room. if i wasn't perfectly calm all the time, if i didn't force myself to be overly nice to people, and if i wasn't funny, i'd get told i was "draining" to be around.

i did a lot to try and fit in. i kept my hair long because people would compliment it, i tried to wear skirts instead of pants/shorts, i'd wear comfy clothes and the like so i didn't look like i was trying too hard. a lot of my personality was forced and i was the one who was being drained instead. i ended up having to get a radar for when people were just messing with me. and so when a real confession happened, there was a combination of anxiety about if they were faking or not, doubt that they could actually like me, and then a deep rooted fear about if they were being serious.

instead of the relief i should have felt when i learned it was a real confession, i still felt scared. it would be the same anxiety as if someone asked me to get on the world's tallest roller coaster in the world and i had just seen a chunk of the roller coaster fall in front of me.

that part made it even harder to come to grips with my sexuality. i thought if i gave up on being a hopeless romantic, i'd be giving in to all the times someone told me "I just don't see you dating anyone." being unlovable was a death sentence in my eyes. and it didn't help that i've lived in the south all my life. i was already strange and going to hell for a multitude of things. turning around and telling them that i was going against every expectation set of me to get married and have kids by 24????

(i should clarify that my parents had never been the ones to put this in my mind. when i came out as pansexual, they had only been confused about what the hell that was. the rest of their reaction was "i mean... we could already sort of tell." and while my parents had hopes for my future, i knew deep down that while they'd be a little sad not to have those expected memories with me, they wouldn't turn me away. and they would very likely be happy to create a whole different set of memories with me.)

i have my current friends to thank for me coming to terms with who i am. by the time i was in college i had started to question everything. my middle school friend group had been majority queer but we had gone to different schools or just faded apart. in high school, a majority of my time was spent in band. and while i was one of those people who had friends in a variety of friend groups, the closest friends i had were the people in my section that i sat next to every day. and in the present time, only a couple of them remained straight churchgoers. even though they've changed now just like i have, during high school i was a different story.

going to college opened me up to a far different experience. by this point i'd shifted from pansexual to bisexual. my college experience wasn't... ideal. or really healthy in any aspect. but meeting these people did dislodge the mindset i'd had for most of my life. and my current friends have changed my life. the fear that i had about being aromantic has now become the relief i needed my entire life. it doesn't feel broken, or wrong, or strange. sometimes i do feel sad about it, or question if this is really the case. maybe one day i'll meet someone who shows me that "different" feeling i'd been waiting to understand. but i grew past the societal expectation of needing a partner to be fulfilled in life and i'm so much happier.

life doesn't need to be about that partner. i have many, many friends and family to grow old with. i have a godchild!! one day i'll have my own house to celebrate holidays and achievements at, to host my friends and family. i'll have pets that i love and i'll have my own career, and i'll be happy because i never needed to fit expectations to be happy.

when it comes to anything sexual, it's sort of the same feeling as when i had "crushes" on people in real life. though also different? i don't look at real people and feel an attraction beyond knowing that they are attractive, objectively. i can feel attraction sometimes in a physical sense, but i have no interest in having anything personal happening between us. a fictional character has no interest in me, and so it feels safe to think that they're hot and to express it. like sure, yeah, i have a crush on them! i get giggly when Captain Smoker from One Piece shows up on the screen, and the new Superman makes me think "oh! okay!" but if they were real and in front of me? i'd probably... lose that attraction, like it was never there.

here's the kicker, though, and might sound weird at first: you don't have to put a label on yourself

yeah, i do consider myself aroace. but the world is ever changing and so is the human experience. it helps to have a basis, to understand your feelings and work through them. it's nice to be like "there is a name for this" and to find a community through that. i'm not saying there's anything wrong about figuring out your identity and saying "I'm this, this, and this!" nothing at all wrong with that. but we're all figuring ourselves out, all the time. it doesn't end when you put the label on. you have the entire rest of your life to continue learning things about yourself and the world around you. i wish i'd known in middle school that i didn't have to rush it, that i have every opportunity to take it one phase at a time. a human life seems fleeting, especially when you're looking back on your past and feeling like the time flew by. but that's just our perception of it as we look back.

what i mean to say it that it's okay to backtrack. it's okay to change your mind. it's okay to not put a label on it. it's okay to put a label on it. it's okay not to tell anyone, if you don't want to. it's okay to say "i'll figure it out." and it's okay if you don't. it's okay if you sit up in bed one day when you're 60 years old and go "that's what it is." as long as you live your life listening to yourself and not trying to meet an expectation you think you have to, then you're doing it right.

and it's okay if you lived your life like i did, and you didn't do any of that. being a human is messy and that's part of life. you're not gonna get it right the first time- but even then, sometimes you will! there's a nuance and a spectrum to everything you experience. take pride in who you are even if you don't have a clue yet. be kind to yourself. you're gonna be okay.

[kaeyacollection]

Hey so uh

Are we being normal about this?

"In those days, a crimson moon shone down upon the subterranean realm, and not the dark sun of latter days." (Perinheri book)

And like the wiki says Kaeya's passive was changed from "Heart of the Abyss" because it unintentionally conflated with the Abyss in game and not the metaphor of "walking on thin ice over an abyss."

But I mean

For an unintentional connection it sure does come up a lot

But even if we do disregard that and go based on the intended meaning (via the wiki)

"The Book of Songs·Xiaoya·Xiaomin": "It's like standing on the edge of a deep abyss, like walking on thin ice."

I mean on one hand, yes we already knew about Khaenri'ahs connection to the abyss long before the Abyss Order was founded and before Khaenri'ah got nerfed for crimes against Celestia (fuckin Gold had rift hounds like this isn't new)

BUT this is the first solid confirmation that the Abyss wasn't a side note some (lookin at you 5 sinners) dipped their toes into but a defining part of the dynasty if it was named after the damn thing, right?

From the book of The Little Witch and the Undying Fire:

You see, we also call a will that comes down from the heavens an "archon." They are normally planets that have sentient life on them, and they number seven, and therefore they are called the "seven archons." As for the virtuals, their number varies between one, two, and four. The planet the little witch was on may well have been one. And in the case of such a world, the "virtual" would be the "dark sun."

"The planet the little witch was on may well have been one." Has become such an important line in connecting the abyss as a guiding force, that was not just used by khaenri'ah, but influencing them even if the people didn't realize it

Walking on thin ice over the abyss, believing they could balance that danger, but the ice cracked and Celestia responded

King Irmin was indisposed, we saw the kind of madness that overcame Chlothar, who only got the second hand abyssal experience from Mr. Crystal himself (Vedrfolnir), Gold went Mold for a second if her chapter in The Little Witch has any accuracies to herself (also one of her companions becoming a pirate - I see you Kaeya's Grandpa)

For the Sinners to be seeking perfection when the Abyss Order talks about their guiding force being something of chaos

Idk it's just neat that one line can solidify and make sense of previous tales within the game that we didn't technically have the context for previously and I'm excited to see what the rare disease mentioned at the end is going to be

Also just as a bonus note

Celebration: Fruit of Wisdom

What knowledge might the fruit of wisdom bring, were it to descend upon the land? Either way, it'll taste good as a drink if left in Diona's hands.

I wasn't part of the event, but if they straight up saw fruits of wisdom and the first thought was to consume it then I just wonder if fruits of the abyss looked just as appetizing

[ruthtearna]

Woah! seems people did not like this one!

Anyway, I'll bring up the post common points I saw in the lovelyyyy responses I received!

"OH SO YOURE SAYING TRANS MEN NEVER FACE DISCRIMINATION OR STUGGLE DUE TO BIGOTRY EVER"

Nope, I never said that. Read my post! Never in it does it claim trans men do not face misogyny or transphobia ^___^ In fact, I point out how the ultimate core of transphobia, and therefore anti-transmasculinity is misogyny, even if that's different from it being intersecting forms of oppression (something seeming from something vs being a crossover of that thing and another thing is very diff)

"YOU JUST DONT WANT TRANS MEN TO HAVE WORDS FOR THEIR OPPRESSION"

Neverrrr said that :) If you had read my post, you'd have seen that I actually explain what term I think is more accurate to describe transmasc specific oppression!

"YOU CLEARLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ACTUAL DEFINITION OR ETYMOLPGY OF TRANSANDROPHOBIA IS OR WHO COINED IT!"

Okay so, this one was semi right? I didn't know who coined transandrophobia or how they specifically defined it, but I don't see how it was necessary for me to do so? The same way I don't think it's necessary you read Whipping Girl to know what transmisogyny is (tho I'd HIGHLY advice it!) It's definition could be easily surmised from the posts which talked about it. HOWEVER, I did decide to listen to said criticisms, never hurts to be more informed and would you have it...

☆ ☆ ☆

☆ ☆ ☆

... the definition from the coiner, waaaaas.. nearly identifical to how I defined it ! (the implied existence of a crossover between transphobia and misandry/androphobia which is faced by trans men/mascs) WOAHH

SO YOURE SAYINF TRANS MEN CAN'T EXPERIENCE MISOGYNY?

Once again, things I have never said

Other highlights include...!

Some people claiming transandrophobia was based on misogyny (which is actually opposing what the original coiner said about it), while others claimed it was based on anti-masculinity/androphobia/misandry. Despite this, they only referred to *my* words as bullshit and not each other's, despite those two being completely different lenses to view it from and should be a gap transandrophobia-theorists should be debating eachother on imo (since yk, you should prob have a straight to the go definition for a term if ur going to use it).

Several people with TAA (transandropbia affected) in their bios, these people also claimed tme/tma was problematic lmfao (I have my own problems w tma/tme but they aren't relevant to this post)

Guy claiming I should explore perspectives outside of my echochamber, despite that I have done this, meanwhile he clearly was in an echo chamber based of his posts/the way he would twist my words.

This one guy who reblogged my reblog of a miraculous ladybug comic, found my post about "transadrophobia", claimed i was just repeating the same points others had made (basically telling me to shut up) and then reblogged another mlb comic from me that I had reblogged. Hilarious, go u!

Hasn't this been such an interesting experience? Sorry for the snarkyness, but I felt like it was warranted, personally

(there are plenty of trans men who are amazing transfeminist(s' allies), and I will always love and appreciate them, I like to believe these guys are just a loud minority)

The reason transandrophobia/transmisandry don't work as terms is because instead of coming up with a specific term for transmasc specific oppression, it instead tries to borrow the structure of the word "transmisogyny"

The word transmisogyny was coined as a way to describe the intersection between two axes of systemic oppression, misogyny and transphobia, as transfeminized individuals are both punished for their femininity or for being women, and punished for being trans.

The words transandrophobia or transmisandry imply there to be an intersection between transphobia and systemic oppression towards men. Men are not systematically oppressed, and trans men are not punished on the basis that they are men. They are punished on the basis of being trans and attempting to diverge from "femaleness."

This is why I prefer the terms 'anti-transmasculinity' or simply 'transmasc specific oppression'.

The discrimination which transmascs face is not the intersection of two axes, it is simply a type of transphobia, unlike transmisogyny which is both a type of transphobia and a type of misogyny.

Maybe this is dumb, but I illustrated it a bit, this is grossely oversimplified for the sake of the point being made, but I believe it to be an accurate dumbed down version explaining the roots of specific forms of oppression.

A more detailed version would include the overlap with racism (transmisogynoir, anti-blackness, the euro-centric origins of the gender binary etc), homophobia, and intersexism but again, this is purposely oversimplified version.