#didn't have motivation to write at all
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How do you think Azul would deal with having a s/o where he would say they would do crimes to people who would bully their s/o and s/o is like âThatâs illegal, but awe đ„čâ? Like if he paybacks someone, s/o is trying to be the voice of reason, but theyâre smiling so it ruins it?
You're so right. omg, he'd be so extra about it, too
Azul is definitely the type to beat the shit out of your bullies no questions asked
But only after making sure you're okay of course,he has to take care of his precious angelfish before he gets his hands dirty
Even if the bullies didn't bother you that much, Azul is not having any of it.He's not going to let people disrespect you like that.He'd pamper you even I'd you protest,shower you in affection and after he's certain you're feeling better he excuses himself and leaves the room
You begin to worry when he still hasn't come back, that is until you hear a familiar voice or rather voices shriek in pain as 2 other familiar voices laugh hysterically. Rushing towards the VIP room,the scene you're met with was truly something.
Floyd and Jade holding your bullies still,said bullies bruised and bloodied.One might think the twins were responsible for this but as soon as you see the now injured bullies the dots connect. Despite not being the tallest or the most muscled man,Azul's physical strength shouldn't be underestimated. The damage on the now crying victimsâ of Azul's wrath made you wince
Azul simply turns to you âhello darling,sorry for making you wait for so long,just have this mess to clean upâ he says with a menacing smile. You want to feel bad for them especially when being held in a death trap like the tweels but you can't help but smile,letting out a chuckle. âAzul you can't just beat up people to a pulp like that,it's meanâ you say.A part of you is telling you to be the voice of reason,to somehow convince Azul to not strangle anyone who dares to badmouth you,but at the same time another part of you is all over the moon.Seeing them in such a pathetic state made you feel giddy almost. âNothing is too mean when it comes to protecting youâ Azul simply replies âNow be a dear and wait for me in my room,I'll be back shortlyâ he says in a sweet voice.The bullies turn towards you with a pleading look but you simply smile,waving âAlright dear,don't bully them too muchâ you tease âOh don't worry,I won't bully them, I'll just give them a piece of my mindâ he says as he watches you leave.
Eventually, you hear the door opening,revealing your darling boyfriend.He sheds his outer layer of clothes,leaving him in his white button-down as he plops right beside you on his comfy bed. âHope you didn't miss me too muchâ he says,pulling you towards him âyou know I always miss youâ you reply,pressing a kiss on his cheek,not missing the way his cheeks are dusted pink. âAnd I always miss youâ, he replies,kissing your lips softly. When you pull away, you stare lovingly at him,admiring his beauty. You both stay in comfortable silence before you speak once more âyou know you didn't have to do all that. it could've gotten in troubleâ.Azul chuckles,hand cupping your cheek âDon't worry about that,angelfish ,besides even if they were to report me to the head mage I have my own ways of getting myself out of troubleâ he says,almost menacingly. You sigh,shaking your head at his antics âDo you really have everyone wrapped around your fingers?â You ask âhmm not everyoneâ He says ,eyes locked on yours âYou're the one who has me wrapped around their fingerâ he says before leaning in to steal a kiss.You sigh again,giggling as you cup his cheeks âmhmm just don't kill anyone next time alright?â.Azul smiles âI'll think about itâ he says,causing you to roll your eyes ,hands moving towards his waist to pinch his sides,making the octopus yelp. âI protect you, and this is the thanks I get? Siiggghhhâ he says in a fake sad voice. âThank you, Azul, for your serviceâ you say in a sarcastic voice before pressing your lips against his once more, âIt's my pleasureâ
#sorry this took so long#didn't have motivation to write at all#thesimpsrequestâĄ#bettyrespondsâ§#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#x gn reader#twisted wonderland#fluff
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I'll ask after that secret number 8!
I only remembered secret number 8 because I saw your wip here! I'd started this one based on the same prompt, then lost said prompt and stopped working on it đ
Instead of a snippet, I'm just dropping it all here - maybe that way I'll feel inspired to finish it?
âââ
Itâs a full house for dinner tonight and, really, that should have tipped him off.
Bruce sits at the head of the table, smiling softly as he watches over everyoneâs antics. Damian is regaling Dick with everything they saw at the zoo that day (Danny had been so happy to see Delilah the purpleback gorilla again, and her new little additions to the troupe, too!) and how well they are implementing the grant the Wayne Foundation had gifted them. Tim, Steph, Cass, and Duke are all engaged in a thumb-war tournament which Danny has no interest in participating in. It just wouldnât be fair on them.
Danny loves that look. The one where Bruceâs eyes crinkle when he thinks none of the kids can see him. It oozes love and it makes Dannyâs heart, his core, ache.Â
Itâs been a little over a year since Alfred found him on the street and managed to wrangle him back to the manor to stayâeven after the whole biting thing when he realised how rich they were.Â
A little over a year here and Dannyâs starting to feel like family.
Starting to feel like he might, just maybe, like to make it official.
âDanny,â Bruce says, drawing everyoneâs attention. Danny starts at his name, but Bruceâs voice is warm and calm, and his shoulders lose their tension almost immediately. âDanny, I have something I would like to tell you.â
âUhhhâŠâ is all Danny can croak out, eyes flicking back and forth between Bruce and the rest of them. Smooth. Looking good, Danny.
Except⊠theyâre all happy. All smiles, all relaxed body language, all radiating calm and love and acceptance. Well, not Damianâhis face is as thunderous as it always isâwhich at least means itâs nothing too out of the ordinary.
âDanny, first of all, I just want to impress upon you that this is in no way something you have to do. You are under no obligation to join us and, no matter what, you shall always be welcome with us in the manor.â
Wait, what? Danny squints at Bruce, trying to parse exactly what heâs saying⊠Is heâis this them asking to adopt him? Do they want to make it official, too?Â
Itâs been a little over a year and of course Danny has imagined calling Bruce âDadâ. Of course heâs imagined being part of the family, of course he wants to make it official!
He canât help the beaming grin or the bright and bubbling âYes!â already waiting on his lips. All Bruce has to do is ask, all Danny needs to hear isâ
âIâm Batman.â
The smile freezes on Dannyâs face.
His lungs stop working, his heart stops working, he stops working, he justâ
âAnd Iâm Nightwing,â Dick smiles, breaking the awkward silence.Â
Dannyâs eyes snap to him, and then down to Tim when he admits to being Red Robin. Duke is Signal, Steph is Spoiler. Damian begrudgingly tells him heâs Robin, but Danny can barely hear it over the ringing in his ears.
âIâm Black Bat.â Cass cocks her head, almost looking concerned. It always felt like she understood him the most. Whenever he was feeling low, too in his memories, or stewing after a nightmare, she was always there, ready to card her fingers through his hair and never mention his tears. It makes his heart ache to think of it now. âItâs okay, Danny.â
Itâs meant to be reassuring, but howâhow can it be okay? How?Â
Dannyâs spent a little over a year with them. A little over a year with Batman.Â
Batman, who works with the Justice League, who works withâŠ
A little over a year.Â
Just under 16 months since he escaped.
âDanny? Are you alright?â Bruce asks
Finally, his lungs kickstart and suck in a shuddering breath, only for everyone to drop their smiles.
Didnât take them long, did it? Now that their ruse is up, thereâs no kindness in their eyes, theyâre just⊠cold, calculating. Evaluating.Â
âWhy?â Danny gasps, his fingers tingling, his heart in his throat.
Just under 16 months since heâhas he escaped? Or was this just another one of their experiments?
"I... I trusted you, whyâ" Danny chokes back a sob, gritting his teeth as his shoulders shake. Why? Why would they do this? "I was happy here, with you. I thought... Weren't you happy?"
"Danny..." Bruce is looking at him, eyes narrow and eyebrows pinched, in some cruel facsimile of confused concern and all Danny can think is how much of an actor he is. How well he can play the part of a doting father. How much he made him want that.
"I don't understand, why..."Â
"I'm sorry we didn't tell you before, I can imagine that it comes as a shock. We shouldn't have lied to you, Danny, butâ"
"Stop it!" Danny slams his hands down on the table and pushes himself up on wobbly legs. Even standing, he feels so small. Smaller than Bruce, than all of his adopted siblings. They crowd above him when they all stand, too. "Just stop it! Why are you doing this, why are you still pretending? Stop it!"
It was easier, with Danny's biological parents. The knowledge that they'd do anything to get him on a lab table, to open him up and see what makes him tick, to rip him apart molecule by molecule, had always been there. He knew they hated ghosts. He knew they hated Phantom. He knew they hated him. It was easier because it was something he'd known all his life. When he died, when he became a ghost, he knew what to expect from them. It hurt, of course it did.
But it was easier than this.
"Danny, I'm going to need you to take a deep breath. You're having a panic attack and you need to breathe."
"Breathe?" Danny laughs, the sound harsh and choking, too high pitched in his hysteria. "You're joking, right? Or is this just more of theâthe experiment?"
"Danny, please, we don't know what you're talking about, youâ"
"You don't know? You're Batman! You work with the Justice League, you work withâ" His words choke off as his stomach churns, bile rising in his throat. His whole body itches, screaming at him to leave, he can't go back, he can't, he can't, he can't!
Bruce takes a hesitant step forward and Danny scrambles back, his feet catching on the chair behind him and sending him careening to the floor. Where are the agents? Why aren't they swarming in, ready to apprehend him, strap him back on the table, carve him from the inside out.
"Please, Danny, calm down. We don'tâ"
Danny stops listening. His back hits the wall and he pulls his knees into his chest, his shoulders dipping down as he begins to sob. His heart throbs inside his throat, too painful to swallow around. Tears fall hot and heavy on his face.
Sure, he could run. He could phase out through the wall and he could be out of Gotham in a couple of hours. He's escaped the GIW once, he can do it again.
But that was before Batman knew who he was. Before he had the World's Greatest Detective on his tail.
Before he...Â
He really thought this would be different, you know?
He wanted to make it official.
"Why did... Why were you so nice to me? Why did you make me like you? I reallyâI really liked you. I-I thought we could be a family."
"Danny, we are aâ"
"Don't lie to me!" Danny snaps, but the force of his anger leeches all the fight from him, and suddenly all that's left is a bone-weary tiredness. Thereâs a lump in his throat that hurts. Thereâs a line down his chest that burns. "I don't care. I don't care anymore, I don't. Just... don't make me go back there. Please."Â
Is it futile? He thought he knew how the GIW operated by now, the depths that they would go to achieve their results, but this... this was a whole new level of pain that Danny thought he had left behind him in Amity.
"We're not going to make you go anywhere, Danny, you're safe here, I promise."
"Safe? Safe? You must haveâ" he takes a deep breath, tries to stop the quivering of his voice. Itâs all starting to make sense, now. "The reason you're telling me who you are is because you must have told them everything already. I know the Justice LeagueâI know you're working with them, which means the ex-experiment is over now, and they're coming to take me back. And I can't go back."
"Dannyâ"
"I canât!â Danny glares at Bruce with all the rage he can, fingernails digging into his skin. âIâm not going back!"
"That's right, you're not going back, Danny. I won't let that happen." Bruce crouches down in front of Danny, his hands open and raised as if he's trying to say he's not a threat. "I don't know who you're talking about, and I'm sorry about that, but I can promise you that youâre not going back there. We will keep you safe."
Danny pulls himself closer, tucks himself further into the wall, eyes flickering all across the room waiting for that tell-tale flash of white as the agents start to swarm.
He should take his chances now and run, he should go, he needs to go!
The rest of them, his brothers and sisters of a little over a year, are spread out, giving him and Bruce some space. The same concern colours all of their faces. Why are they still pretending?
Steph is chewing on her thumb.Â
Danny liked Steph and her brash confidence, her jokes. She's been promising to paint his nails for months now, they've just never found the time. He was going to go for green and black, or maybe a galaxy theme, depending on what she felt comfortable doing.
He likes them all.
"You were supposed to be my family." His mouth turns down at the corners and his voice shakes like a child. "You were supposed toâwhy? Why would youâI don't understand why you would make me like you..."
"This isn't an experiment, Danny," Bruce's voice is steady, soothing. "I promise."
"But you work with them andâ"
"Who do I work with?"
"The Justice League."
"Yes, I do, but weâ"
"And the Justice League works with them. The GIW." Danny trembles with the name, clutching tightly onto his hoodie. "I'm not going back there, Bruce."
Danny doesn't miss Bruce's look over his shoulder, nor Tim's nod in return. Tim turns slightly to the side to hide his movements, but Danny bets he has his phone in his hand, probably letting them know they can take him now. Guess this is it, then. They'll be here soon, and he'll be gone.
"Kill me."
"Danny? What doâ"
"If you ever had any kindness for me, if you ever cared, kill me. Please, Bruce. I can't do it again."
"Danny..."
"End me now. Take my core out and break it, please, before they get here."
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dpxdc fanfic#wip game#thanks for the ask <3 and thanks for helping me remember this fic lol#also huge thanks for having the prompt linked because i have S O M A N Y prompt wips that i can't ever post because i've lost the post#didn't really know how to get danny to calm down#that's a lie#i have a few ideas of where this can go but no motivation for it - not against all the other wips#i'll keep at it and ig post to ao3 should it actually start looking alright#ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ#dudes did u kno u can pin shit to your clipboard on desktop because i fucking love that#also if you use the windows key + . there's like emojis and shit#(((Ï(âăâ;)Ï)))#<- and kaomoji too!!!!!#anyway that's been fun facts and fanfic with me. ur welcome#oh shit my writing tag#hailsatanacrabđŠđŠwrites#at some point 'oh shit my writing tag' will just become my writing tag#anyway thank you again for the ask#good night everyone!!!!!
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Horror's silly I guess..... idk sometimes I just want him to slam people idk
Sighs the man's a little angy don't judge him... Jesus he's ugly
#sans au#utmv#undertale au#killer sans#horror sans#UwU#I thought I miss back when I didn't hate nightmare but then I remembered how I interpreted him.....#I think my. I think the context I can give is Gacha club#anyways my dumbass keeps jumping on shit I can't do#and now I can't do shit#homework kinda a dumb concept bc school lasts already half the day..#homework's initial concept was punishment.... guess they just wanted to punish all students..#anyways I'm just babbling I literally do not have homework#anyways I really wanna write Wattpad fics....... sighs it's silly#originally I wanted to writer highschool fic or pirate fic but my motivation was. I'm writing mafia fic instead.......#just barely anyways. it's probably bound to be discontinued#man horrors so ugly. I just wanna slap him.. I watched my old Gacha vids and horror was a no expression softie man..#but then again. everyone but like. ink. and just sometimes corrupted nightmare were softies.. I think. I think I liked making softies???#now I think horror and killer should ferally beat each other up but... sighs anyways they should make out I mean what
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hsr's a great game it's like "hey here's this guy who's a cyborg cowboy of all things isn't that fun. look at how wild and flamboyant and entertaining he is! an automatic censor was installed into his universal translator when he got his rockin robot bod so he can't swear anymore and this is especially funny in the cn and jp text of the game because his swears are replaced with things like sweetie, baby, and cutie."
"also his entire homeland was wiped out by the intergalactic capitalistic monolith that's been cruelly siphoning valuable resources from countless planets with little to absolutely no regard for the residents. they spared nothing once their boss gave them the go ahead to use military force. not even his baby daughter, who had just barely learned how to walk."
"he never got the chance to erect a grave for her. or the other loved ones he lost."
#it all hurts so badly dude#augh...aughhhhh this man.......#i wonder how much he knows about aventurine.#like does he know the significance of looping aventurine into his revenge plan against oswaldo versus any other stoneheart#topaz was still at the reverie iirc... is the reason he didn't corner her limited only to the fact that she was in the public lobby#does he Know. that oswaldo did the exact same thing to aventurine.#does he know he couldn't have found a more willing accomplice. does he know aventurine has been playing his own long game against oswaldo.#or does he assume the stonehearts all share diamond's shallow business and promotion motivated grudge against the monster#i am so curious about this#i'd say the hostility of his greeting indicates that he doesn't know what happened to aventurine but like#...đ ? it seems like he kind of just says hello with his gun. so uh#not actually a good indicator of anything.#i hope they team up and fuck shit UP#i think they will. this IS the kind of opportunity aventurine has been waiting for#the story is going very interesting places rn. someone on that writing team has a very large bone to pick with capitalism LMFAO
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HOTD is like if GOT started with Season 8's quality of writing and you could tell before it aired that was going to be the case when they decided to start the show off making huge changes. So glad I decided to ignore it altogether, sorry for the book readers who are currently suffering though đđŸ
#anti hotd#even locals are getting frustrated and bored that's how you know it's bad#all we can do is hope that George releases TWOW cause HBO's adaptations bring nothing but disappointment đ€·đŸââïž#the inconsistent character writing to try and force nuance and complexity cause they wanted to /both sides/ the dance is the#kind of shitty writing decisions you make when you try and write toward audience expectations instead of focusing on the story#literally all they had to do was expand on what was already written it's an adaptation not an original work đ„Ž#now they're writing in circles and couldn't tell you a character's motivations to save their lives#it's GOT's downfall all over again the difference is HOTD didn't have the same rise
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my nelvas and moraak thought crumblets
#text#eaaaaaaaaaasy Peasy#actually i'm upset now because i had to read at least some things m*raak says during DB quest and omfggggg the absolute snoozefest that is#- his character i'm actually knocked out and drooling on my pillow#the fact that he has fans is solely bc he's pushed to the forefront as the big bad. cus he has goldfish IQ and idk.. personality of -#- some pebbles in reality#the only good thing to come out of his existence is The sexxxxxxy ass fact that mora protected him (and then decided to marinate him)#i think he falls flat badly just cause he doesn't have something to fall back on; idk how to describe it tho#i think making the Big Bad the character who is 5000+ but was dormant and useless all the time is um..... it was a choice#idk what's up with him but his character doesn't even have the value it should theoretically#Nah that's crazy bc why does t*lvas have a more interesting personality from like 10 voicelines than that abortion#but i'm not mad cus t*lvas is superior to every other character on that island like i mean it#mostly cus he bounces off n*loth's personality really well. to Me#this might just be my personal bias tho bc i do only like characters that are down-to-earth and 'normal people' more than the ones that r -#- very overblown to the point where they're just marvel villains#i would rather lsiten to some working class elf serving dinner at a political gathering than to anything m*raak has to whine about#i remember saying the same things about m*raak like 2 years ago when i didn't talk much and someone pointed me to a mod or smth and -#- like đ€Šââïž no offense but maybe i will actually take whatever happened in canon over the shakespearian Dookie the fans will be writing -#- about him#i think there's no point in building a bigger and impactful backstory or motives to him if in canon he was meant to be ass#'meant' as in it turned out to be ass#cus i don't actually believe sk*rim characters are rly that much very 'Badly written' really.. and there are things to dig out of what -#- a character has#and if one of them has nothing pleaselet him die . No i'm jk
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I hate the Staghorns so much. every time I do their questline to get that painting I think "oh surely it's not going to make me mad this time around" and YET
#they are genuinely terrible friends#when I get to the part where they just THROW AWAY Ravaedron's gift so callously I just AYTDFASHGFD I need to bite something#they then go back like 'oh nooo we only hated your gift you worked so hard on because we would miss you đ„ș' like bitch WHAT#WHAT??? that is not how a sane person reacts to someone making you a personal gift with you in mind!!!!!!!!!#like 'ooh it didn't have the right âšmeaningâš behind it' IT WAS MADE WITH LOVE. IT WAS MADE WITH YOU AND THE LAND YOU LOVE IN MIND#AND THIS LAND HOLDS SO MANY PAINFUL MEMORIES FOR HIM. MAKING THAT PAINTING MUST HAVE BEEN SO HARD FOR HIM#BUT HE DID IT ANYWAY FOR YOU#AND YOU THROW IT AWAY#I HATE THEM I HATE THEM SO MUCH#it would have made more sense to like. find the painting stowed away in their basement or something#like at least then they wouldn't look so cruel and cold. it would be more like they just didn't know what to do with it or something#they were literally just upset it didn't have their faces on it#it's just. seeing that painting thrown away never fails to make my blood boil. the Stanghorn's motivations are all over the place#they never make any sense and then they have the AUDACITY to (even after the end of the questline when they're supposedly not mad at him)#call Ravaedron 'thick headed' and 'unwise' and 'maddening'#they are awful characters. a pain to interact with and the 2nd worst written characters in the Angle (which is saying A LOT)#and the worst part is I *know* how to fix this questline! you just need to change how that first instance goes and a few other things#and then the Staghorns don't look so racist and awful and the conflict between them almost makes sense#I'd need to write a whole post about that but I don't want to because I don't want to think about this quest
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Whoopsie time
#vent tw#cw vent#I'm stupid to have dropped out of college#now I don't know what I'm doing and I can't do the very passion I set out to do#Animation was my dream and I ruined it for a guy who groomed me and ended up physically abusing me.#I didn't realize trying to animate and failing because I don't understand it no matter what I look up about it would result in a breakdown#Not to mention I'm regressing in my art skill right now.#My art is ASS right now no matter how hard I try to improve it#references... Practice... Doodles... Warmups you name it#nothing is going right and I have the urge to quit art altogether#I'm not going to and I can't bring myself to ever do that but It's aching inside me#I want my art to be good according to me. not others. People can say it's great but if I don't like it... I'm not going to settle for it#I shouldn't have left#I loved college#I loved SELU#I loved my life back then#And now I'm here. And I'm not happy anymore.#Even with writing. I even took a long break from writing and I still can't do it right according to myself.#Now I have no muse or motivation for any of it#I feel empty. And I can't go to therapy because I can't afford the balance on my account.#I just feel like I failed.#I feel like I failed my parents and myself. They always tell me theyre so proud of me but I don't understand how they can be.#Not when I ended up in two severely abusive relationships... Dropped out of college twice... And now work in a factory full time.#Yeah i make decent money in a place I enjoy but it all just feels empty.#I could've been more#i could've done better#[[out of ammo]];; ooc
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.
#yall i was sure that i was not going to post for this blog again#like for any new work#and now i have a new fic on the works and hsjdhsjd it's another jk fic i'm a clown#I TRIED TO MAKE IT FOR ANOTHER MEMBER BUT IT DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT HEDUHEUDH#anyway#it's about naval aviator!husband!jk who won't sign your divorce papers bc he's still in love with you lmao#that is all i'm gonna disclose#i hope i finish this lmao#bc it's been a long time since i felt so motivated to write a bts fic#(i've been missing bangtan a lot and have been watching their old mvs and run bts episodes so...)
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honestly i feel like nowadays that my issue with wanting to write long fics is that i can't convince myself to put in the effort, cause i feel like the reward for completing it won't be worth it
#i really do have to motivate myself with rewards#its easier for shorter fics cause the energy of ''wouldn't it be GREAT if i wrote this??''#or ''wouldn't this be funny??'' carries me through it#but with longer fics i'll run out of energy halfway through or just never be able to bring myself to start it#cause i can't give myself a promising enough reward#its not even just for writing and stuff it's for like a million other things too#i told myself all year at school that after getting through it i'd get a reward#and then i didn't get one that felt like it was worth it sdhfslkdfjdslkfjsls#the brain is a bitch
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Happy STS Elli!
What inspires you to write? Are there things that you know that you can get inspiration from or does it just come randomly?
Happy STS!
For me, inspiration doesn't mean "to write".
There are, and always have been, a lot of stories floating around in my mind - ideas, scenes, vibes, outlines. I get inspiration from literally everywhere, from talking to my friends, and video games, and scrolling past images or prompts, and reading books, and spending too much time on reddit, andâŠ
Many remain daydreams, or character backstories, eventually lost to time.
Now for actually being able to sit my ass down and get words on the page? I don't know. It comes and goes as it pleases. Having a beehive where a brain should be does NOT help, let me tell you that.
I just. Can't focus on shit lately. Can barely make it through a chapter when reading. Every day is just suddenly over, and I got nothing done, and I am so tired. I have a completely outlined short thing I have been trying to write since Nov, and it's like pulling teeth.
I could do with several months off work while everyone leaves me the fuck alone. How would that be.
#salad-ask#aria-benedetto#sts ask#I cried new year's because after having 1 (one) day of my vaction actually completely to myself#Which was after I already didn't get any quiet time on my LAST three attempts at taking time off because someone was sick at home#And spending most of all that time just working (in my time off) and cleaning the depression piles#My mom berated me for instantly refusing to come over for some 'if I die you need to know where stuff is' talk#(note: there's no reason to think she might anytime soon and she was talking about like... a cd collection)#'You always have something!!!'#I don't know anymore how to get people to understand how fucking exhausted I am.#I'm about to let the stupid paint course voucher from work lapse because in a year I didn't find a motive I like and the energy to even#consider wasting 3 hours of my life after work to produce some physical object I have no room for while having to run to get there on time#Not to mention people!! A room full of people!!#I've just become sooo sensitive to noise lately I can't even stand to be in the kitchen when the fridge hums#And you're always always always the bad guy if you close the door in someone's face because they're whistling or watching tv or calling#It's cool :) Sorry I was being unsocial :) Lemme just quickly slam my head against a wall until I pass out :)#So uh anyway happy STS writing has been going well
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ngl it sort of pisses me off the way adults regard Gojo in Jujutsu Kaisen at times. Which could be a very interesting and poignant point in a good way if well written, but as it is it becomes mainly just frustrating and sad in a negative way.
Nanami saying Gojo never cared about anything or anyone other than himself crashes interestingly with Kusakabe saying the whole situation was just all his fault because he refused to kill Itadori. The students are very aware of those aspects of Gojo's personality, but overall they seem to regard him with way more kindness and fondness even when at their rudest, not truly coinciding with either Nanami's or Kusakabe's views.
#Kusakabe's words are harsh and negative but there's some true and some logic to them#but in beholding the entire story and the whole contextâ especially with the flashbacks in mindâ in getting to know the sweet kid Yuuji isâ#the reader is made to find Kusakabe's words a bit outrageous and cruel and Gojo's position becomes the obvious one like Nanami's was#Like Kusakabe's is too in a way since he too says no matter what it's always the adults' fault whatever the cause was#And following the story we see Gojo cared a lot about those kids and them keeping their youthful cheerfulness if in his very flippant way#That's basically his main constant thread. We see it at the very beginning in what he did for Yuta and how Yuta is so fond of him#We see him at the very end in a way too with the letters he left#And his entire motivation was changing the very messed up society to avoid the kids going through what he and his friends went through#and to prevent them from being lonely the way he felt he was. Ontologically alienated. Entirely othered#And of course it's in part him keeping people away like Shoko. Or even Yuta (though here again it's at the core of his action his attempt#at protecting the kids and trying to prevent them from growing too fast)#And of course this is motivated by his own experiences and in that sense not entirely a selfless act#But those things still don't negate that his goal was for the future kids to be... in a better situation than what he and his friends lived#So Nanami's words are very cruel and... blind. Of course it's possible that Gojo's way of approaching the problem is still something#Nanami would regard as selfish (but it could be argued that so is Nanami's)â or that Gojo's perception of Nanami's way of thinking#about him would be this negative. But what we see through the story absolutely contradict Nanami's words in that airport#And though both Nanami's words and Kusakabe's are negative in regards to Gojoâ they in a way contradict each other#The kids' words and way of seeing Gojo is most of the time more... accurate? If also diverse among them#They see him like an idiot. They trust him. They think he's childish and annoying. They love him#They find him flippant. They know he cares about them. In a way they see both what Kusakabe and Nanami say about him#The negative. And the ultimate positive aspect at the core of it all. That Gojo did care and that Gojo did take care#and that Gojo risked and sacrificed a lot for them and that Gojo was doing this in great part because of his own past#Yuta perhaps is the one who sees it best but it's so interesting too the dynamic Makiâ Yuuji and Megumi have with Gojoâ his acts and antics#And this whole thingâ this frivolous and even... cruel way most adults seem to regard Gojo and how it clashes with the kids' deep feelings#about him (beyond the initial 'he's an untrustworthy idiot' though those as well!') is super interesting and super sad and super juicy#OR IT COULD BE bc in the end all that happens is that Nanami says that and Gojo pouts comically or that Kusakabe makes that offhand comment#as if it held no weightâ as if Yuji weren't present and had never agonised over itâ as if Gojo hadn't lost his life trying to save the kid#And yes he risked more than his life but he was trying to save a kid bc another kid (bc Megumi!) asked. But maybe it didn't matter if no one#asked. He saved Yuta too. Of course he would have risked it all. In his mix of selfishness and selflessness. Everything is so juicy#yet the writing feels so dry and lame. There's no pondering. There's talk of guilt and grief without any true sense of grieving or loss
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I'm just. so grateful for LOSH
#I was having a hard time when I first started reading it#i was sick most of the year with infection after infection#and i didn't have barely any motivation to draw or write or make playlists#all things I love to do more than just about anything#and then i read losh and suddenly i felt like creating again more than i had in months#even when i was sick AGAIN it got me through it#and i've met so many wonderful people and gained so many wonderful mutuals#who also helped me through it more than they know#simply by talking to me about comic books when i didn't feel well#its just. i love the comics and i love the people i've met through them#sorry i'm emotional tonight#delete later
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IE villains's motivations through the games/seasons :
Franck Wintersea : "I am just a coward who fear for his life. I didn't wanted to be involved into those soccer shits in the first place"
Ray Dark : "soccer brought shame on my father and me by proxy. I grew bitter about it, and now i am evil"
Astram Schiller : "I'm blinded by the sadness of loss of my son, killed by someone unknown that wasn't punished for this therefore. The world must suffer for this injustice"
Wyles : "I am an opportunist. I saw I could become powerful while my boss was falling, I didn't hesitate seizing it"
Zoolan Rice : "your misery increases my money"
5th sector : "our goal is to establish communism into middleschool soccer, so that every child can taste success at least once"
Protocol Omega : "by erasing soccer through History, we prevent the existence of the most powerful terrorist organization in our time"
Nugen : "we didn't chose to be mutants with superpower, the adults chose to treat us like monsters"
Ixal Fleet : "Faram Orbius destroyed our planet. We want reperation"
Scale of Ares guy (i forgot his name) : "i plan to make some gifted children the ultimate supersoldiers at my command"
Orion Foundation : "we are a philanthropic organization that only longs to make the world a better place. But in the process, some evil will be necessary"
#Inazuma Eleven#IE villains#Or rather#What i understood of them#(I didn't watch IE since a while and didn't watch Go at all but i have a general idea of what it's about)#(Don't hesitate to correct me of i am wrong)#Starting the Go era I am not naming one guy in particular anymore but corporate#while writing this#I realized that in OG era had more egoist and personal motivations#While in GO era the evil is done collectively by a group of people in a hive#They also hide more behind a altruist goal#so either people in those organizations feels like they are doing good and don't think themselves as evil#Or they are just looking for justice to be given to them#They are some characters in those who come to mind easily#But they are only doing evil in the name of whatever they are working for#I just wanted to point out this difference is interesting#I am not saying the GO villains are better than OG's or that OG's are more iconic#I just wanna show they are written differently#Post i wrote in the middle of the night instead of sleeping#Abuse of tags
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Here's the tentative outline of the TSG paper, as okayed by the professor whom I've been discussing the project with:
intro to the trend of recent adaptations/retellings reframing TSG as a story about grief
an assertion that the book is really about healing from childhood e m o t i o n a l n e g l e c t (CEN) (my thesis?)
defining CEN and distinguishing it from traditional grief
an analysis of CEN in the text
how this interacts with what these adaptations/retellings are doing
conclusion about the importance of the textâs depiction of CEN and why itâs worth acknowledging/exploring
It's a relief to pin this down and be able to go into this with some kind of focus. I've already got a start on the first paragraph. I'm trying a method of drafting by just constructing the basic argument and then working in all the evidence and research later. My college papers tended to take forever to write because I drafted them with Finished Perfection in mind for each sentence, which is stressful and easy to get bogged down with. We'll see how it works. The paper needs to be completed by October, probably the end of the month at the very latest, but I'd like to get it finished in enough time to fully polish and not have to stress about a tight deadline.
I can do this. Probably. It's been a few years but I might still have it in me.
#random personal stuff#of course I write mini-essays here all the time!#but those aren't presented as scholarly with proper citations and you guys presumably forgive me if I'm not clever enough#Dr. B. (the one who tried to rope me into that roundtable presentation) is already talking about#trying to get some of my old papers published in a journal#or working on a book#she is so full of enthusiasm and confidence and grandiose ideas that it's both impressive and kind of terrifying#don't know if I really want to do any of these things#I mean even assuming a journal would want my work (which isn't really on that level I think) what would be the point#I used to want to be an academic but lost that after the thesis and everything before that#the last time I was working with a professor who wanted me to do Grand Things...it didn't end well#and of course Dr. B. is nothing like That Man and would not have his motivations#but all the same I don't want to commit to anything on this level for the foreseeable future#I'm just writing a paper so I can present it at a convention because that's about the only thing I can do that makes anyone proud#got to justify my existence somehow
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About my fic !!
Chapter seven is turning out to be a bit longer than I had originally planned,
But it will definitely be finished before the end of the month!
(Also originally it was supposed to be only eight chapters altogether. It will be at least nine, might go ahead and make it an even ten.
Still we're getting close to the finish!)
#Can't give an exact date for when I will be posting it but soon#!!#Thank you again to all who read and leave kudos or nice comments#That does mean a lot to motivate me !!#Of course I enjoy writing and I do it mostly for my own pleasure but it feels really great to know someone else is interested in it too#Also sorry if my writing feels a bit rushed at times !!#I'm trying to do better at that#I have been really busy all summer with work and family stuff#Literally like 80% of my writing I get done on my way to work.#And then I let my sisters read it when I get home and they try and find any Grammer mistakes and whatnot so I can fix those#Which hopefully I didn't miss anything#Anyway it's been fun XD#hollow knight fanfic#Tales told by ink of void and quill of gold#Why is that title so long what#Ink of void Quill of gold#That's better I should shorten it#XD
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