#didn't feel well enough to finish | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cubur · 1 year ago

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I don't care if it hurts… …only wanna be with you

#narusasu #naruto #sasuke #Naruto Uzumaki #Sasuke Uchiha #sns #didn't feel well enough to finish #…so here's a sketch #sketch #my otp #my art

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mazken · 14 days ago

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brush test slash rendering practice with ayem

#morrowind #almalexia #the elder scrolls #tes #tes fanart #art #id in alt #ok that's all the tags this needs ANYWAY #i started this 1. for experimenting with coloring from dark to light #2. because i wanted to draw someone kind of back turned to the camera #3. rendering practice for hair particularly #4. to go from sketch to rendering rather than doing lines to see if that doesn't smooth out my workflow a bit #5. because i've never actually used this brush past flat coloring #and out of those 1. i don't think i had enough of an idea of the palette or process to jump into dark to light painting so i did scrap that #and go with my usual “flat color with one of the mid shadow tones add shadows add light”#i do think that painting from shadows out is a thing people do digitally i just think this wasn't the drawing to test it on for me #i think i'd need to look at some other peoples processes and start with a more fleshed out idea of where to go #2 and 3 i think worked out. i'm gradually figuring hair out which i think is sick #4 i also think worked out for me which is also sick because i do get caught on lines a lot. they're fun sometimes but i think some drawings #benefit better from not having them and that it might be a bit faster #and of course everything i do is so that i can draw slightly faster and better for next artfight #as for 5. i have mixed feelings on this brush but that might be because i hate change. and also because i started this drawing on the 15th #of november and finished it yesterday. so im kind of just sick of working on and looking at it #it was a valuable learning experience and i think it came out well! i am also going to drop to my knees and rejoice when i can finally #close this file out and free medibang paint from under it so i can work on Literally Anything Else #thank you almalexia for being my test subject i should've used a reference for your armor when i did the sketch but i didn't #maybe the crown looks weird because of it maybe it doesn't. not my problem anymore i can draw other elves again #my art #iiii think i forgot a my art tag last time

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anastacialy · 6 months ago

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alright as much as everyone (including me) has been nitpicking and critiquing season three of bridgerton i have to hand them one thing and that's no other season has made me this insane

#queen charlotte was beautiful wonderful gorgeous fantastic well written made me cry etc #and yes it did make me insane i won't deny it #but the thing about it is i'm satisfied with where the story ended up it feels finished to me im not clamoring for more #season two i wanted more kanthony and i got it season three i loved what we got from them #but season three polin? im rewatching a thousand times im dissecting the acting choices im wanting to bap the editors on the head #im watching every reaction i physically can stand to watch im watching the interviews im making edits im writing fanfic etc etc #like. i think it truly walks such a lovely horrible little line of being SO CLOSE to perfect so close to everything i ever wanted and it is #just SLIGHTLY imperfect enough that im yelling NO NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CHARACTERS LIKE I DO #where i'm defensive and saying no please look colin has liked penelope this whole time it didn't START at the kiss you have to understand #anyway. how are you guys? im normal. im normal #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #txtly

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pen-papers · 5 months ago

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Accidentally clicking QUIT instead on CONTINUE after finally reaching the top of Death Mountain in OOT

Remembering that there's the secret path back to Goron city through the Lost Woods

#sooooo...i kinda got wrapped into playing Ocarina for the first time #didn't think id enjoy it as much as I have #found out (truly a grand surprise ((sorry im putting sarcasm definer in the parenthesises..)) I like side quests #and when i say like em #I mean what's main game plot- i will literally COLLECT EVERYTHING given the oppurtunity before halfway point #im like...nearly to 30 gold sklltullas #and uhm..i like...i like learning the enviroments and RUSHING to get places before it gets too dark #oh boy i just thought i'd play it a little bit yesterday #got “in bed” around 9:30 and picked it up to play- it was 1 something in the morning before i stopped #then was like OH SHIT ive got work!#but theres such a joy and excitement of just scouring through everything out here #i dont know why- but i suppose the reputation of zelda games just made me feel like id have to slog through things?#or just like...take things really seriously and...i dunno...its this grand ONCE in a lifetime thing #maybe thats just the image ive gotten from passing youtube videos #the only other Zelda game I've finished before-played YEARs ago was Spirit Tracks and I very much enjoyed it #maybe because Zelda was actually part of it that time haaah #well ive run my mouth long enough im gonna go run back to the mountains

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earl-grey-crow · 11 days ago

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#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals #I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had #trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it #the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport #and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it #I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions #like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i #so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left #to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works #but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder #especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm #which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final #the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources #but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor #that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different #if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier #and with phenomenally less stress #I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc #which is what he wanted it submitted as #except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations #I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where #I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better #anyway #maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough #for me to finish #earl crow ramblings

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forcedhesitation · 8 months ago

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*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all

#bg3 #myart #wip #I want to make every tav/companion pairing I have a dedicated. fancy piece.#these started with a concept for a wyll drawing that was very...storybook! inspired.#I would have been done all the linework for these two pieces by now had my weekend gone better :/#I was violently unwell for...about a week and a half? chronic illness bullshit. had started to feel better friday of last week...#...unfortunately fate had it that the weekend ended up being particularly stressful. so the pain returned anew.#it was. somewhat better today. but still not enough for me to really be productive in my free time :(#I will try to complete the linework tomorrow if all goes well. I really would like to start colouring them!#I have delightful colour schemes chosen...#gale/illamin piece has already been sketched in a notebook. once I finish these two- I will begin lining theirs!#illamin's connects to cadence's because they're intertwined like that. but I have yet to finish planning out cadence's piece.#I've gone back and forth on who I should romance with him...the thing with any of the companions is that they are all written to be-#-immensely compatible with each other. so writing a tav FOR a specific companion is a bit hard. often the tav could fit with any of them.#hell. I'm STILL working out details of jantar and corydalis' story & characters. because I can't be normal about this.#that aside- I DO have other. finished pieces...finally.#well. I had some long before... but I didn't want to post them because I wasn't happy with them.#so I went and finished new stuff that I DO like.#4. technically 5 drawings. all horror/horror adjacent in theme.#my extremely detailed hux painting is also NEARLY done. after months upon months of work.#and I continue to slowly chip away at the big scifi themed dbd piece I've had in progress.#I really never run out of things to draw and it's a bit torturous because I never have the time or energy to draw everything...

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darkaac · 1 month ago

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Fin.

#darktalks #well i fucking got what i wanted. huh. that sure was a modular armor system #overall i liked it a bunch! kassandra is very fun as a character #i liked the mystery of the cult and i really enjoyed the friendship dynamic with barnabas and herodotos. coupla pals goin on a ship #Speaking of! i liked the adrestia. i liked sailing around and i liked ship battles #i think it's because it's scaled back in comparison to Those Other 3 in terms of weaponry and addons and what have you #so it didn't feel like if i was falling behind if i wasn't dedicating ALL of my resources to the ship all the time idk #the maps id say were right on the border of excessively bighuge but i liked how varied the scenery was #not just between greece and the dlc2 areas but between different regions of greece #and the mythical beast/monster encounters were a nice level of challenging that broke up the monotony of fighting other humans #more on the story i like how personal they've made the plots of orig and odys. it really gets you feeling for the protags right away #it's something that also happened with ezio and connor for example. but syndicate and black flag (especially black flag) are kinda lol lmao #even still in AC2 the motive was ''hunting assassins'' not ''hunting YOU specifically'' so to some degree it was still impersonal #it was cool seeing darius in action but dlc1 parts 1 and 2 felt a bit more eh to me #i think it was just because fast travel in makedonia and achaia was a bit of a pain #dlc2-1 also felt a bit overlong because of how many factions you're helping. 2-2 by comparison is super short (but sweet).#2-3 made me want to kill aita all over again. i have mixed feelings on the isu :thumbsup: Aletheia can hang #this is not the games' fault of course but after Hades (game) seeing all these ''gods'' just look like taller humans is a bit of a flop #(let's not get on how much of an idiot they made hermes of all people)#the further rpgfication of equipment and abilities felt like a chore. what the fuck do you mean ''+17% assassin damage''. be serious.#from what ive heard that's something very much still present in valhalla BUT ALSO there's a stamina bar?????? wherefore dost thou do this.#i will say i missed having an animus database. which was also missing in origins? like ik there's the discovery tour but it's Not the same.#i liked the RW segments well enough. something something blonde woman and protagonist with isu artifact smth smth two nickels #kind of a flop moment to not finish off the literal Biggest Problem for the assassins when you had the chance Layla :/#to valhalla we go

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seaofreverie · 3 months ago

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So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday

#honestly maybe it's better this way. i'd rather just not care at all rather than be super stressed about it #just like i've been doing with every little thing for most of my life #might have missed the date when we were supposed to choose our elective courses. well whatever Lol #and i still don't even know what my schedule is or what classes i have this semester oopsie #well the university itself doesn't seem particularly pressed about giving us the schedule either #but i'd probably better still read up on the classes at least before they start #i don't have high hopes for this year just like with the last. probably should just stop pretending that i still want to study anything atp #this wasn't even my first choice of a course bcs i had to prepare for that damn exam to be accepted for my preffered one #but i couldn't be bothered to study for it again which probably should have told me enough abt whether going into this again is a good idea #i'm so tired just thinking about it but i know that actually looking for a job and then having a job will be a thousand times worse so uh #but at least i'd have my own money and start doing something ughhhh. useful maybe. who knows what it will be though #i have no ideaaaaaa. but this feels like just putting off the inevitable. like at some point i need to get my shit together #i will probably report at the end of the next week about how i'm so done already #i don't really knowwww mannnnnm. i don't feel like i had any vacation at all even though 3 months have already passed #and i also sort of didn't prepare something relatively easy to do that would have given me an actual document #that would confirm that i actually finished that part-time school thing last semester #can't really be bothered to come back to it at this point though #well at least i learned something actually useful and interesting from that and that's enough for me tbh #and a lot of it is also relevant to my current area of interest (digital drawing and computer graphics in general)#well speaking of which i'd better just get back to drawing now lol. just one more left to finish!!!#in short i guess that my new way of dealing with stress is just ignoring it all #well it's worked in some way at least so it can't be an entirely bad thing lol #goosepost

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miniagula · 4 months ago

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i think i need to reread jj bc chapters 25-30 in season one are nuts...gayeon v ji being teased for the second time, ji fighting against the school using sending his students to black island ("Pampering them won't do them any good either. Don't forget why Gayeon Sin left NEST." is CRAZYYYY) to "build the school's forces" as quickly as possible, gayeon being able to get the drop on breeder (his fucking expression while she's threatening him is so funny) AND. THAT LITTLE SNIPPET OF THEIR FIGHT. HER SCAR THROBBING WHEN SHE RECALLS THE MEMORY OF JI CALLING HER A MONSTER. FWHNAJFNWJFNJWDNFJ

#jungle juice #most of da meat n potatoes is ep 30 #just just just. her expression goes from manic to irritated to stony #and when breeder gives her that cup of tea its all melted away #curls up like a spider i NEED to know how they went from 'i was quite fond of her' to JI HIMSELF calling her a monster #taking a lesson she was never meant to learn and internalizing it so much she made herself capable of mass violence #AND JUST. ITS FROM HER POV. SO WE SEE THAT ITS NOT JUST ANGER ON HIS FACE BUT DISAPPOINTMENT TOO #and we know he has so many regrets over her bc we see his face when hwanyeong reminds him abt her #and i have. so many thoughts over using gayeon as a cautionary tale to not 'pamper' the students #like. that was the conclusion you drew? now that you know the link between dna compatibility and stress #and that it drove a student insane #you first thought is 'well obviously we simply weren't training you hard enough so here's another life-threatening situation'#and i know that they didn't know that black island was going to be a deadly trap but COME ON #you know where breeder keeps his finished specimens and you send your freshmen students to go an invesitgate THAT SAME ISLAND #you can't be surprised when they turn up black and blue!#*shakes nest administration like a fucking maraca*#sorry ghouls this is long but i just. have A Lot of feelings #and i give breeder a lot of flack #but goddamn do his panels eat. the one w him sitting on top of gigantea like OKAYYY OKAYYY im not gonna LIE #and i v much appreciate that his first response to suchan attacking him is unbridled glee...he's best when he's a freak!!!!

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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months ago

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not my dad not liking moral orel season 3 🤭🤭🤭that's so embarrassing for him (<- he's not wrong for feeling that way but i think it's like 60% because he doesn't like it when art gets weird and that's so so tragic for him)

#i actually think his points make sense this time. which tbqh is not normally how i feel when he criticizes smth i love #basically he was like s3 was a completely different show from the first two seasons #and he didn't like how all over the place and directionless it felt #and honestly yeah ok i can see that #personally i think the choice to broaden the focus to moralton broadly vs mostly just orel is really interesting #and it allows for different facets of their critique of fundie waspisms to extend to situations/characters orel wouldn't really be privy to #(could you imagine 'alone' with orel there? me neither)#and i personally liked them fleshing out the marginal characters. i never found that boring or like a major diversion #again they're like 11 min episodic(ish) things it's hard for them to feel like they drag on y'know #it shows a lot of ambition and i think they pulled it off really well tbh (cancellation aside)#but i will agree that the transition is a little sudden. nature is such a big moment for the series #and for orel's arc specifically but then we spend little time with orel post-nature so the tone shift doesn't #necessarily align with his realization (at least in terms of the canon timeline. ep release order does align)#it's sudden but we jump back to before the shattering. it's disorienting and i think it's kind of cool as hell #a realization like orel's in nature is gonna throw the past into question and color his life and thus the town #(bc let's face it orel is the real mayor of moralton kfhsjs) and while we've been seeing Some of moralton's ugliness #in every episode until now it's shown in full force in and post-nature (release-wise). so when the timeline jumps around #and it all feels twisted and hazy and sickening and it All Comes Back To The Hunting Trip as our point of reference #for when things are happening it makes it feel like the trip Caused this disturbance. it's almost a spatio-temporal THING #like orel IS the center of this universe. my point is it's weird and i like it a lot i think it works #but anyway i think s3 is a natural evolution of s1+2 albeit an accelerated one #and i really wish we'd gotten to see more of what s3 morel was cooking bc it was setting up some really cool stuff imo #like he hated everything w mommy censordoll x clay but it's SUCH a cool place to take their characters. freud would go crazy #moral orel #and i think if they knew where they had to end the season maybe focusing on other characters was a way to keep orel stagnant enough to like #end the finale where they needed him. maybe.#we actually DID finish it yesterday. i rewatched the finale the day before bc i was impatient but yeah 👍#now it's chapter black time >:}

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hirunoka · 1 year ago

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Aaand here it is. The "I'm not being productive and creative at all" blues.

#I better start working on that new AU already #I told myself I would do it this summer #no idea what kind of AU it's gonna be though but well #we shall see #I feel so damn useless like this #I should also keep writing my Bernard Black fanfiction #I miss writing and creating stuff but I don't feel motivated enough I guess and the weather doesn't help at all #I think I know why this is happening though #also I know that not being productive shouldn't make me feel like THIS but I cannot help it #I wanna create a new AU for Arthur and Eames :(#no #I NEED to do so #... which reminds me that I still didn't finish writing my AE fanfiction #*insert Lin-Manuel Miranda's 'c'mon brain think of things c'mon brain be so smart' video here*#I hate my brain right now #*sighs*#what the fuck am I even doing #eisy speaks

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crimson-moonflowers · 2 years ago

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hope you’re doing okay :< i miss seeing you around

Well... This was a bit unexpected to get.

First things first, I am doing ok, thank you for asking! And aweee, that's sweet of you! (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

Still a bit hesitant about coming back here, don't fully feel comfy about that idea (I got too dependent on checking this place and compared myself with mutuals a lot, and we all know that ain't healthy).

I might start slow again, I don't want to fall down that same pit again.

#mape talks #anon ask #I did see the other asks from when I left btw! I just didn't know how to answer them atm and now I feel like it's a bit late too answer #But thank you to those who sent them #It means a lot #I still feel a bit like I'm not friendly enough or fun enough to be around like most of my mutuals #Mental health is doing a bit better even though all the shit that has been happening this year #But content I haven't been making stuff...#Well... kinda but nothing is finished yet

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gwydionae · 1 year ago

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I love that my sister randomly sent me a video of my nephew playing his cello, having taught himself the short ditty that plays over each live action One Piece title card, and the only "dialogue" is her going "ARRRR" like a pirate at the end (with me nephew making a GRRR face in response).

(BTW this is a "watch out for lots of One Piece posts sorry not sorry" warning, lol.)

#delete later #everything will be tagged 'one piece' and live action will include 'opla'#as per usual #look sanji's about to solo the train to enies lobby and i'm really feeling it right now ok #water 7 is such a good arc #so far the vague feelings i had from like two decades ago are holding strong #alabasta was great (if a little too drawn out in the anime)#skypiea started fine but got boring REAL fast #didn't even remember the davy back stuff so yeah that says enough XD #and water 7 has been fantastic #let's see if enies lobby holds up #and if i'm as bored with thriller bark (up to the end anyway) as i was the first time XD #i know i liked the ace stuff but don't remember much other than YOU KNOW #and then fishman island was so bad i peaced out before finishing it #...hoping that goes better this time but i'm aware that sanji gets... bad... after the time skip...#well at least i know he's better by whole cake island...#didn't have that assurance last time #ANYWAY HERE GOES

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pentanguine · 2 years ago

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The next time I’m tempted to have a robust social life, someone remind me: DON’T

#i have done quite simply way too much over the past week #and am going to do even more this coming week yay??#today i hosted an entire fucking picnic which was just an ordeal from start to finish #(and it shouldn't have been! i got to see my friends and the weather was lovely and my friends were lovely and it went objectively well)#but i was so worn out from pride yesterday that i had to spend most of the day in bed #and i was fretting to an unreasonable degree about whether i had enough food and the right kind of food and whether i was Normal #(spoiler: python you are never Normal and that's fine)#and then the picnic itself was. fine. objectively. good! objectively.#but i invited two different groups of friends and each group mainly talked to each other and i felt split between them #and i got so overwhelmed trying to keep track of two conversations at once #and i said dumb stuff and didn't say stuff i'd meant to say and ended up having an abrupt on-stage reality check that my brain is a bastard #who bullies me by telling me shit that isn't true #and now i'm like...so overwhelmed i feel like i'm gonna cry #too much thinking about my brain being a dick on multiple levels and feeling spread thin among my friends and worn out socially and also now #thinking about personal things i wasn't particularly planning to think about at 10pm tonight and just.#oh my god.#the next time i try to have an active social life someone lock me in a cupboard for a week #personal

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eggmeralda · 2 years ago

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can you get burnout from doing nothing

#or am i going through a mental breakdown. based on the symptoms matching whatever the past week has had going on #unless it was caused by trying to socialise online #which i am so bad at and i guess seeing other people easily be all friends with each other kind of made my brain go 😨😱😖🤯#<- along with various other surrounding emojis #i'm stuck at uni rn bc my band has 2 gigs coming up + rehearsals so i have to be here. but there is nothing to do except Think #but yeah there was the alienated fandom feeling bc idk it always feels like everyone speaks to each other in dms and has all this like #lore with each other and i have no idea what's going on #and trying to actually interact is soooooooo exhausting and i always feel like i'm too slow or behind everyone else and yeah #and then camp weehawken began and i couldn't even deal with seeing everyone doing that and all knowing each other really well and idk #so i just left tumblr briefly. bc of everything. bc i'm irrational #basically the worst feeling is when you have friends in a fandom but then your hyperfixation starts to wear off and turns out they weren't #close friends they were fandom mutuals. btw this isn't about anyone in particular this has happened for most fandoms i've been in #it was more of a sudden realisation that's been creeping up on me for years. so to deal with the fading hyperfixation i just had to Go #and now i'm obsessed with threads. which has like no fandom. so at least the hyperfixation fadeout will be easier to deal with lol #but yeah it's that sort of feeling when you finish at some place and you make some friends but once you leave you never talk to them again #and knowing you didn't really leave a strong enough impact on them that they still wanna keep in contact with you #pretty much like that #at the same time though there's nothing to do atm so maybe i am just bored and overthinking #but still it's annoying to go through especially when it's happened for almost every experience in my life #also like I'd occasionally log back into tumblr to see what's going on but i'd see people liking posts on the swag archive and it's like #cool at least people like the archives :') but anyone could've done those #idk it's like i have to do something like that for people to actually care and as soon as i'm not contributing anything then i'm just #forgettable or something #i wanna come back to tumblr but idk if my brain is ready for that dsjkljf. i told myself i'd only come back when things feel stable #but also i'm impatient lol #again this isn't about anyone specific my brain just LOVES to malfunction it's actually its favourite pasttime <3 #but either way if i seem really negative lately or just. weird. it's just my brain being its classic overdramatic self #i mean the thoughts are very real and based on vaguely true evidence but also my brain loves to exaggerate things to sabotage my life #i'm hitting tag limit so anyway. at least threads isn't happening rn so that's pretty good #ramble

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seaofreverie · 4 months ago

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I actually made 9 drawings in 2 days

#ok 3 days because i took my laptop with me today just to finish some of them because i didn't have time or energy left for that yesterday #and 2 out of those 9 still aren't fully finished as of me writing this but i'll get to that in a minute #it's so crazy to me that i can actually already see such a big improvement between the 1st abd 7th like damn #if i'm still strong enough to continue with these through the rest of the month #this might really turn out to be one of the most effective and successful drawing exercises i've had so far #i still feel kind of silly about how it takes me this much work and time to do what is just colored doodles at the end of the day #but i'm also trying to remember that. well. i've had so little exercise and you can't be amazing and skilled at this or anything right away #and i only started taking drawing seriously at the very end of last year. abd even then my practicing is very inconsistent #hard to do anything lest something creative and somewhat demanding #when you also have to deal with the absolute lack of ability to do anything at all due to being severely depressed most of the time. lol.#ok whatever i'm mostly just posting this because i'm happy that i actually did manage to do this after all #and i'm also really happy with the result. i especially like the KMH drawing i think it turned out really great and i'm excited about that #yay.#goosepost

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