#didn't expect to be so emotional over it
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Skén:nen sá:sewh
as promised, here's Precious boy™ getting kissed by Precious wife™ because he deserves all the love in the world :cc
translation: Get home safe
#nobody translate the file name#nah but home girl is the strongest soldier let me tell you#imagine date/being married to an assassin fr I would loose my mind#I'm such a sucker for the friends to lovers trope ok hear me out#Girlie is an ally to the assassin's and that's how she meets Connor and they become friends because Ratonhnhaké:ton deserves more friends o#she is VERY smart knows how to stand her ground but also very sweet and funny he respects and admires her a lot and so does she#she's from another displaced kanien'kehá:ka clan they bond really close sooner than later the feeling just blooms everyone's knows but THEM#until prob the recruits and the people in the homestead get tired of these oblivious fools in love and plot to finally get them together#I headcanon Connor didn't settle down completely until they were expecting their first child like they both panicked when they realized#I mean they're already married and stuff but still our girl is all over the place bcs she's scared of something happening to him or the bby#and connor acts cool and leveled on the outside but he's just a whirpool of emotions on the inside as well it's really funny to watch#they probably broke down in tears from both laughter and fear but they are amazing parents we are certain of it :')#I want their dinamic to be like that mainly because Connor deserves some light and laugh in his life after all the things he went through#connor i'm in love with your wife#ratonhnhaké:ton#connor kenway#connor's mistery wife#ac 3#assassin's creed#oc#the way you can tell I almost never draw men just from this sketch 💀#my art
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↠ Tim & Lucy scenes ↳ 5x10 - The List
#chenford#chenfordedit#the rookie#tim x lucy#tim and lucy#therookieedit#lucy x tim#jesuis assez edits: Chenford#jesuis assez edits: Chenford scenes#Tim was so nervous#When they reached their second date.. They were in their element. It was more them as opposed to the fancy setting.#He could breathe with ease. Just be there in the moment with her. They could just be them. Just Tim and Lucy.#He could melt into her the way he always does.#Whether that be in the form of a kiss / hug or a touch of any means.#or even gaze at her intently the way he did here in this scene [ok the whole episode. ] [ok just about every time he looks at her]#Even touching her with his fingertips brushing over her skin \ hearing her voice \ a single look that#communicates what words cannot say is enough to quieten the anxiety.#or the emotional storm raging within Tim. Even for a fleeting moment as they have done so before.#Tim has this way of giving Lucy his full and undivided attention. Listening to her attentively. He takes in every word she says to him#Hanging onto every word and holding a space for those words in the doorways of his mind. and allowing her influence to wash over him.#Because he values her opinion just as much as she values his. So when she expressed a [need] for him to reset his expectations#he switched on instantly to meet that need. He too wants for them to take their time and explore this slowly.#They're on mutual ground with this and maybe it's something Tim didn't realise he wanted until Lucy voiced it.#The way he begins to process what she is wanting from the relationship right now and needing from him#and how it sinks in that he wants that too#I think Tim could've been content to sit in silence with her all night despite the nerves bubbling up inside of him.#Just completely content with beaming at her all night. Content to admire her through tender eyes.
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i don't know why, but in the sparse five hours of sleep i got last night, my brain decided to plague me with dreams of lilia taking care of an elderly silver, up until the final moments of his life. i could hear silver's thoughts the whole time, and he was so absolutely inundated with shame and guilt it almost seemed like he was suffocating. he kept thinking over and over and over again that this all should've been the other way around. he should've been the one looking after his father in the twilight of his life. he should've been his aging father's rock, his safe place to land, his stalwart defender against a world so unbelievably cruel to its most vulnerable denizens. again and again his heart cried out in vain, it should've been the other way around.
as a child he had once wished - prayed, even, to the same force now threatening to reclaim his spirit back into its unconscious designs - for his father to live a long and prosperous life, and it was as though that very wish had backfired on him in a way he never could have possibly imagined
#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#twst spoilers#twst#mumbles#txt#i hate it here#i litearlly woke up crying you gusy dont unerstand#he was so ashamed of himself but not once in my dream was lilia anything less than happy to take care of him#i feel like part of the reason lilia is trying to run away is because like so many of our elderly and our disabled#he didn't want his loved ones to worry about him and ��waste” their time taking care of him#so he thought the best decision for everyone would be if he just went off to go die alone#i have no idea if twst would actually touch on something like that but i do think you could interepret his departure that way#anyways if any of you have caretakers or aides or just are disabled in anyway#i want you to know you are not and have never been and never will be a burden on anyone or anything#and that i love you so so much#im getting so emotional over a dream fkjgh but i want silver to understand that good parents dont have kids expecting that#their children will someday “pay them back” for everythinng they did for them growing up!! u don't owe ur parents jack shit!!#silver you just existing as you are is enough for your father!!!
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Play 13 Sentinels I am no longer asking
#13sar#13 sentinels#Some maybe implied spoilers in tags#I am not okay in any way I love this game so excessively much#I'd need like a 500 slide powerpoint precentation but tldr#Hijiyama's route is my favourite and also Insanely good#Gouto's route is incredibly good and an unexpected favourite I didn't expect that to be as good as it was#They really saved the absolute best for last#I have beefed so much with how late Hiji's route is forced because I loved it from the prologue but I 100% understand and I am 100% okay#with it cause every single time I've been forced to wait for it it was so fucking worth it#Girlies after they finish Live to Protect and ESPECIALLY girlies after they finish Hiji's last event whose name escapes me now#But holy shit dude Hiji's route is excellent I can rant about it for hours#It's enjoyable as hell it's got Excellent plot reveals it hits EVERY emotional beat it pulls#Like she has it all#Not to say that the other routes don't they're all excellent Hiji's just my favourite out of the bunch and succeeds in All aspects#Whereas some routes like Yuki's I feel are Completely carried by how enjoyable Yuki herself is#While not succeeding as much in say the plot department#Which isn't a Problem but it's just something which makes me prefer routes over each other when some can hit Everything it tries while#others might neglect certain aspects in favour of others which doesn't make it Worse but makes it less complete as such
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Still remember the time i bought the GW2's Path of Fire expansion for the mounts and i was soo Peeved that the game forced me to play through the story to get the mounts (A game? Forcing a player to play through it to get what they want?? Wild. Absurd. Ridiculous. How- How dare they?!).
It was actually the first time i got to playing the GW2's story and at first i was just 'when do i get the mounts when do i get the mounts'. (Don't mind me. When it comes to open world games i just Never really done the story. MMOs? Skyrim? Oblivion? these were for jumping on fantasy buildings, exploring and tiniest sidequests. Plot whom? Laziness win. And from other MMOs i was used to the tagline of 'pay and you immediately get a mount')
But it turned out to be nice. And i actually remember the exact time i got hooked on the story. We just fought Balthazar and Rytlock ran to the side. The commander goes to him and asks what's up. And then it turns out Rytlock Brimstone is an idiot who freed some guy, who was actually an evil god, From Some Forsaken Shadow dimension. And only so said guy could lit up his firey swordie again. I facepalmed, i wheezed. "That guy would sell his soul for his firey sword". And i immediately at that moment knew, I loved that nasty rude grumpy cat with edgy armor and firey sword, and i could play through entire story just for him.
#Also liked how he immediately pulled himself up. done something awful. awful mistake. No time to cry over it. Got to fix this.#someone reading this could ponder 'wait you didn't care for the story in Elona?? What about 'XYZ'' and the answer would be simply no.#I actually kinda expected a standard mmo 'story's only background. not thaat important' approach from the game so i just went#'ehh world saving standard stuff. i'm listening in but not interested. especially with all the connections to stories i never played'#(just so you know i also played GW1 but never touched the plot either. fsdgfdsgk I reached other cities only bc someone would taxi me.#still love that game)#Rytlock#Someone might point at me and even think to themself 'that's shallow of a view of the game!' and guess what! It is!! But also it's ok!!#I only invested myself with time. but it doesn't make it any lesser of an experience :D#not every first playthrough or gamer has to be deep and sobbingly emotional#Rytlock Brimstone#gw2#carpet talks
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EPISODE 8 MADE UP FOR PREV CRITICISM SO GOOD, I CAN'T– LITERALLY KICKING MY LEGS RN
#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#TECCHOU AND KENJI. DAZAI AND SIGMA. TERUKO AND ATSUSHI. FUCKING FYODOR AND CHUUYA.#Bram and Aya. Sweeties I love you both so much.#I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT DAZAI'S SMIRK#AND HIS PAUSE. HIS MEMORY FLASHES. AND THE EYE CRINKLE IN THOUGHT. THEY LET HIM SHOW EMOTION WE'RE WINNING#I was totally not expecting Fyodor to bark though like sir? This cats against dogs or what#well more like cat+adopted kitten vs dog+seagull cause what the fuck was that screech last episode#AHH TERUKO WAS JUST AMAZING AS ALWAYS#oh Tecchou and Kenji how I long to see you two in the manga again#I was kinda surprised to see Chuuya's eyes didn't change though... anyway#this episode just rocked the wait that felt eternal was just WORTH it#bungou stray dogs#bsd#EDIT: I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT HOW FERAL I WENT OVER TECCHOU'S LINE BEING FINALLY DELIVERED SHIT
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what do you think revalink's baby would be like? would it be a rito or a hylian would it be blood related to either link or revali? do you think they would get a surrogate? i wanna write a baby revalink fic but i'm still not sure what kind of baby they would have
ooh I've never thought abt it before! I feel like they'd probably choose to adopt an orphan? since they're both canonically orphans bc I said so and they know how it felt to try and survive in a world that is not kind to those without parents, they want to be able to protect other kids from having to know that pain if they can help it 🥹
their first child is a rito, who was orphaned at a young age bc the single mother died shortly after childbirth :'( normally when a fledgeling is left without parents in rito village the community tries their best to collectively raise the fledgeling, but as we've seen with revali, this doesn't work out very well as the fledgeling doesn't receive the proper attention or care they need to develop. so when link and revali hear about the young orphan, they volunteer to take her in as their own. don't ask me name of the kid though bc idk AJDBAJDH
they live together as a small happy family for several years. ofc as new parents, link and revali have some struggles, but they're able to talk with other parents like saki and teba and amali about parenting tips. link also learns a lot more about rito culture and what is traditional when raising a fledgeling (don't ask me what these traditions and cultures are idk man💀). revali is also learning about a lot of these for the first time because he was never really raised in a traditional way and didn't realize parental figures were supposed to do all these things because certainly no one did for him :((
one day on one of their travels together (they left their fledgeling at home because they knew there would be monsters on the road and they didn't want to put their daughter in any potential danger🥺🥺) they see a camp of monsters off the side of the road. they go to fight them, but as they move closer, they realize the monsters had taken a little hylian toddler and were harassing and attacking him, and suddenly link is remembering his own childhood, powerless against monsters and hylian bullies alike, so alone and afraid, and link is moving before he can realize what is happening, his head buzzing with the only thought to protect the kid. revali quickly moves to back him up in the fight, and it's over in a matter of minutes.
there's a treasure chest that unlocks when all the monsters are killed, but link couldn't care less about that, he's rushing towards the boy to see if he's okay or injured, if his parents are around, and the toddler can only look up at him helplessly, eyes wide and tear-filled, so clearly and incredibly alone and abandoned. link turns to revali, who has been watching this exchange, and says, "we have to take him in."
revali knows the look in link's eyes, the face of someone remembering their past, the same face link wakes up with after nightmares of the calamity. he knows they both have a chance to protect this boy from a life on the streets, from being tormented by the evils that lurk on the streets and in civilizations, and so they decide to bring the boy home with them.
when they return to rito village, they introduce their daughter to the boy. she's still very young, so they do their best to explain how they found him without the traumatizing details, but when they tell her that he will be joining their family, she holds the boy in her arms and looks up at them reverently, whispering, "I'm going to be a big sister?" with joy in her eyes.
and relief floods revali and link, knowing that their family is going to be okay, that they'll all be able to take care of each other, that their children will be raised with the support only siblings can provide, that they will cherish this family forever. it's not a perfect family, and it's certainly not borne of blood relations, but the emotional bond they all have with each other is stronger than blood could ever be
#bye I didn't expect to get so emotional over this#this was so cute to write and think about thank you oomfie for asking this😭💗💗#if you write a fic with this premise PLS LMK I WOULD SERIOUSLY LOVE TO READ IT#amiharana#revalink#revali#link#botw#breath of the wild#legend of zelda#loz#me being So Normal about this game#cryiling asks#crow's revalinkverse
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Most people really don't seem to understand that friendship is a two-way street.
They expect you to wait on them hand and foot as they rant about and constantly pour on you either their issues or their passions and when you finally have something you'd like to talk about you get a "Man that sucks :/" or a "Cool" in return.
Find somebody who doesn't do that. Then you'll have your best friend.
#i know i ramble sometimes and i'm extremely grateful that my best friend puts up with it :')#but see then in return i do the same for her because it would be completely unfair for me to expect her to act like a wall for me to talk a#or when i wanna show her something and i can tell she's being polite and it doesn't personally strike her fancy I MOVE ON#and she does the same for me and we have way frickin better communication and we have a frickin rad friendship#it's give and take#and also can we bring back the idea of being able to work through some things on your own?#like i am ALL FOR having a support system that can encourage you when things go wrong but some things can be solved on your own#i shouldn't be bearing the burden of figuring out your life for you you know?#i'm absolutely willing to help but if you're just going to spend all your time complaining to me and never ever take my advice#then there comes a point at which i'm literally just acting as your therapist and that's not how friendships are supposed to work#i've become kind of the designated therapist in a lot of friendships throughout my life#and it is exhausting constantly being complained at (sometimes over very minor things)#only to have that person or people COMPLETELY ignore your advice every single time you try to give it#that's not friendship my dude that's using me because you just want someone to complain to#like i said. support system good. treating your friend like an emotional punching bag to let out your problems 24/7 very very bad.#like when i was feeling completely unlike myself and irritated and frustrated for three dang years straight#i didn't really talk about it much because i knew it wasn't the kind of thing advice was going to fix#so i wasn't in the discord servers every two seconds “MAN I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD :///”#because when other people do this to me there comes a point at which i'm like “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT”#like i've given you all the advice i have and you have taken absolutely none of it nor have you taken any action on your own#so now i'm just here to make you feel better about yourself and that's really not my job#emotional support is necessary. patting you on the head when you refuse to do anything to better your situation is not.#tl;dr people who refuse to do anything to better their situation other than complain to ME about it 24/7 drive me nuts#and it drives other people nuts so please don't do it to anyone#don't bottle up your emotions but also don't let them come crashing down and drown everyone you know#just because you can't be bothered to put ANY effort forth to contain them#emotional regulation is attractive~~~#society today has built such a culture of “it's not YOUR fault and if you cry about it hard enough someone will fix it for you” like no sir#sometimes it IS your fault and sometimes you DO need to take responsibility#and if it is your fault then absolutely no one but you is obligated to fix it
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spent months like I need prescription for my mental health give me prescription please please & now that I have it I'm like hm. do I want to have to take meds, actually
#part of it i think is just that typical anxiety that comes before any life change like s new job or whatever but also like#despite never having TRIED stimulants im familar w them i know people w adhd who are on them i had an idea of what to expect & thats what i#i figured id be getting but shes having me try this non stimulant option first bcus 1 apparently its good for people who also have anxiety#and 2 easier to get w the like Adderall shortages & shit rn#& im like ok i have NEVER heard of this drug before and didn't even know there WERE non stimulant options options.#like im doing all my research TODAY for the first time then pick it up tomorrow?#like me heslth anxiety girl just has to be like ok sure i guess. i had mentally prepared myself for stimulants & thats it!!!#i mean worst case i just try it & see if it works or if i have side effects but like. ugh. & i dont like that i dont like my np LOL like id#probably feel less uncertain about trying something i was previously unfamiliar with if she was someone i liked & trusted more#if i knew there were unfamilar drugs they might recommend to me i probably wouldve started over & found someone new to work with. AGHHH & i#didnt discuss any of this w her bcus it took me a couple hours after our session to think abt it & do my own reading & process my emotions#to really come to thia conclusion. & also i wouldnt have wanted to talk to hwt abt this anyway bcus i dont like her & have not felt at all#like cool w opening up to her beyond the minimum i had to do for the assessment#& my therapist is sick this week so im not gonna get to talk to her tomorrow!@#texticles#anyway i know ive got fellow adhd bitches following me. anyone try guanfacine did you like it or nah
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i know it's not like i'm the most affected by the situation, but i wish idk i wish that i didn't have to direct my whole behavior to be my mom's emotional support dog so she can feel she's a good project manager and at least someone understands her side and listens to her good advice. which admittedly my uncle is being particularly difficult in this whole situation, bc it's always complicated, but also christ maybe it was your mom but it was also my grandma. one day you tell me "what you two had was really special" and the next you don't even let me have a moment alone with her. like god. you saw her yesterday. you could've left me a minute with her or something. you could've refrained from putting your gross ass arm around my shoulders like why do you absolutely cannot resist ruining every important moment in my life? i want to be as helpful as possible for her in this very difficult time, but NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTES. not even five minutes could she stand letting me handle how I want to grieve MY own grandmother.
#it just feels like i'll never have closure#like i'll never get to say goodbye#and i can't say anything because i'm not going to tell anyone how to greive their mother#and if she needs me there then i'll be there it's. whatever.#but god#tomorrow and sunday: weekend. have to spend it with my parents.#monday: school. maybe i can try to visit the funerarium with the bus if i have time but. i don't know. it's so scary.#i'll have to squeeze a visit between school and the time i need to be home and i just wish i didn't have this fucking dreadful perspective#and this equally dreadful memory#hanging over every second i could spend there#tuesday: burial. we'll see her before they close the casket but there'll be lots of people it's just. gross.#i mean i'll go but it's not the same#it's nothing like what it should've been#i feel awful#you can't even let me have one last good memory of her#a peaceful time instead of having to take a wild guess about what you need this second and managing your emotions#she expects a certain behavior from me and i don't even fucking know what it is#i mean yeah it means i should be like i was when i was six and my grandpa died#i should cry and scream and be a crisis situation to manage and cry about together#sorry i haven't molded myself to be exactly what you need#broadcasting my misery#vent
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Watched Porco Rosso for the first time last night, and was really surprised at how sexist and "made by a man" it was? I can't recall ever watching a studio ghibli movie and thinking that before. It wasn't even that the female characters were written poorly because for the most part they weren't. But all the men were constantly commenting on women's appearance and bodies, hitting on a 17 yr old, there are weird shots and lines, and the female characters' plots exist for Porco Rosso's
#idk i didn't like it??? there's a lot of artistic merit to the movie and it was BEAUTIFUL visually but it kinda pissed me off tbh#like the scene when fio stands up to the pirate men & they're all like wow you're so pretty you're flattering us we are eternally loyal now#it's cool that she did that but it's also clear that they only listened to her because she was beautiful#(something they immediately mentioned)#and right after she has a little emotional breakdown where she's shaking because she was scared and that's great#BUT the way she deals with it is saying I'M GONNA GO SWIMMING and stripping down to her undies in front of porco rosso#who blushes furiously despite the fact that she's 17 and he's like 40 or something#and that's not even dealing with the fact that hat she randomly got proposed to that same scene and the whole challenge at the end#is to decide fio's fate even though there was literally no reason for that to happen???#and lots of comments about her bottom ajd and debate over whether she can do her job because she's a young pretty girl#and i KNOW this is how it was in 1927 but also this is not what I've come to expect fr studio ghibli#and I'm disappointed#wow lotsa typos in there but I'll live
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GUYS SO YOU KNOW IVE TALKED A BIT ABOUT HAVING A LOVER
AND I JUAT GOT THE WONDERFUK OPPORTUNITY TO TALK WITH HIS LAZY ASS PARENTS
(GUYS HE GOT HIS PHONE TAKEN AWAY I AM SK SAD)
BUT LIKE THIA BITCH IS SO LAZY COULDNT EVEN BOTHER TO TRY AND REPLICATE HOW MY PRETTY BOY TALKS
like from the get go I could tell it wasn't him it was SO FISHHYYY
(*gossip girl voice is fully activated btw*)
But also I am so worried for him. I hope they weren't snooping, and I'm glad I followed my gut and didn't try to make contact immediately again outside of the one chat we have
Because if they found out he would be in absolute HEAPS of trouble.
I hope he gets his phone back soon. I can't wait for him to return.
#pls pls pls if you know who I'm talking about#do not say or comment about it anywhere else#this is for both of our privacy and pretend you never saw thus#it's just so frustrating that he got his phone taken and they didn't even try hard to convince me#I think his parents thought I was so emotional over it that I was just in denial#like I'm not stupid 💀💀#my love does NOT talk like that#craziest thing that has happened so far in this relationship tbh#I really hope he's okay and doesn't think I'm really hurt over this#because I'm not I just find this a pitiful attempt from a parent#I also made sure to contact some of his close friends that i know of to not contact him#because he is also a wolf shifter and I really don't want him to be accidentally exposed#I was spamming him though I think they were tired of hearing it every night for the last 6 days 🤠✨️#I didn't know if he was okay I had no warning that his stuff was taken#I was completely in the dark#GUYS IM SUCH A GOOD ACTOR#but yeah#wanted to tell you guys because I did NOT expect this#most likely I will delete this after this whole thing is over#I'm pretty sure he will get his phone back just based on how they talked to me#pretty sure it was his mom or stepmom or something#too nice and passive aggressive to be his dad#plus the energy behind the texts felt more... feminine so to say. MY LOVE IS THE OPPOSITE OF FEMININE#I LOVE YOU HONEY#I'm pretty sure he cut contact with everything he could before his parents took his phone but couldn't get to Amino on time.#I really hope they didn't snoop#that would be horrible for him#I'm really worried#like I was worried yesterday oh hell yes I was#but I am WAYYY worried now
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I am so upset that my host family told me they brought tickets for the ice cream festival and in the end they didn't
#like i normally don't care#but if you promise me food (ice cream even more) and don't give it just activates my instincts and make me feel so left out#and like if you haven't invited me it would be okay too?#or even take a way and invitation#but give the ticket to another person and pretend it never happened is just...#feel like I did something wrong and the mean time and they don't want me there#and it may be silly but i work my ass off this week because i saw that they needed my support#i worked +10 hours some days#i cancelled my weekends plans#i worked straight through the weekend#took care of the house#because they needed it so much and it was a hard time for them#and i didn't do any of these things expecting extras#but because i like them a lot and some moments you help each other#however its just hard to reach the weekend and something shake me off the idea that this is more than a business relationship#au pair always have to go through these and just sucks#you never know how much you are part of the family or not#it sucks extra when you just left a situation that you treated them like your own family and don't see it back#and yeah i am being extra emotional over these when they did treat me nicely other moments#but messing with food is a sure way to make me emotional
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Good morning everyone I'm thinking abt how Jack killed Bella so he could go after Hannibal. While his motivations were partially selfish, he also did it from a place of love. He wanted to ease her suffering and he didn't want her to be left alone if he didn't survive going after Hannibal (which to him was a likely outcome considering he almost died the last time). And what makes this worse is that after Hannibal escapes in twotl, Jack now has to deal with the fact that his wife died for nothing👍🏻
#h talks#sorry sorry sorry#I get so emotional over them#he didn't want her to be alone#and the thing is like Bella told him she didn't want to be saved. that she didn't need him to protect her#and ultimately thats what Jack did. he always has to be the hero. in his mind he feels responsibility to help if he's able#he thought he was saving her by killing her#its interesting as well that Hannibal saved Bella's life and Jack was the one who took it. obviously we'd expect the opposite#sobbing crying over them#nbc hannibal#Jack#Bella
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.
#forgive me#i am about to complain#i am feeling hormonal and emotional#and i am still not over the fact that my bil & sil are so readily willing to take advantage of my fil's generosity#i don't know why i can't let this go!!!#i think it's the double standard#my inlaws (fil and his wife and my mil) just fucking let my bil & sil take advantage of them#and hold everyone hostage (including my partner) with the threat of withholding their presence!#it's like#they will not come to visit unless someone else foots the bill#my bil will not come visit (even when he has unlimited vacation) unless my sil also can (even though she has very limited vacation)#my bil didn't even come back home when my fil had 2 (TWO) heart attacks in june last year!!!#he just expected my partner to deal with it (which he did bc my fil's wife is garbage in stressful sitations-which fair ig)#it's just infuriating#i am so annoyed#i am so mad that not only did they not care about seeing my kid as a newborn until my fil offered to pay for flights#but that they now want to make the visit prioitize seeing my sil's grandparents before my kid!!!#like girl! you didn't want to see your own fuckijg grandparents until someone else was willing to pay for it!!#and you want to do it before seeing your brand new niece!!!#aaargh!#like i don't usually like or want to be the center of attention (for instance when my partner and i got married#our ceremony was literally just our parents and we tried hard not make a big deal about it bc my bil & sil's wedding earlier that year#was expensive and stressful for everyone (they made the whole family travel cross country for it and my mil paid for a lot of it)#and we didnt want to do that to them!)#but i do want my kid to be the center of attention!! she's going to be a brand new person and a new addition to the family!#and i want everyone to fawn over her! i feel like you deserve that when you're a brand new baby!!#and i am so annoyed that this celebration of her birth is going to get derailed by my sil being upset that her grandparents are dying!#like i get it! loss is very hard and i really feel for her! but i want this visit to be about my baby#and not her fucking guilt over choosing not to visit them AT ALL over the past 5 years!!#ok ok ok im done
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I met up with a friend whom i haven't seen in a long time like pre pandemic for a shortttt while and it was okay it was cute nice even
#i suppose#right?#i can't lie it didn't.. heavily impact me...#maybe because this person has made me feel a multitude of negative emotions over years and i think i've like. progressed past it#to the point where they don't really have a place in my heart/mind at all#but i still love a good distraction! unfortunately it's just......#no weekend plans. nothing. will ever make me feel better. will it?#a long awaited meeting with a friend.. it's always below my expectations#unless i am talking about my hometown friends because they actually lighten up my mood despite it all#is what i've realized recently#i want another friend so badly.... it's been so many years since i've made a friend...#like an actual irl friend......#the things that make me the happiest these days are little convos with my roommates but there's no intimacy and. are we ever going to cross#that boundary?#:| sorrryyyyyyyyyy.
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