#didn't expect her to survive or for me to get attached. but here we are

[bitsbug]

Me, my bloodthirsty child, and our 7ft long dog

[angelshizuka]

Small nightmare Tilla analysis from someone with her own dead mother trauma (yay...) Just as I expected from the trailer, this scene came for me personally and I don't know wheter to hate or thank Brandon for it.

What personally got to me was how Blitz wasn't just hallucinating the things around him, but also how he preceived himself, aka as the age when his mother died.

I dunno about other people with dead parents/loved ones or if I just still haven't processed my grief properly yet, but I always mentally regress in age whenever I think about my mother. Maybe it's my brain trying to pretend she can't be gone if I'm still that age, I really don't know, grief is weird. I'm not entirely sure if that was the intention behind it, but seeing it visualized like that hit me.

But it's especially this part that had no right to go as hard as it did.

We still don't know all the details of what happened inside the tent, like if Blitz found her dead or had to witness her burning alive as he failed to save her (knowing this show's track record it's probably the later). I didn't lose my mother to fire, but the concept is still all too familiar to me. Seeing your mother, who's literally burning on the inside (tumors can go to the worst kind of hell) still force a smile through the pain and tears for the sake of her child as she's withering away... is the literal last memory I have of seeing her alive.

I mean, this scene is without a doubt written so well and I'm positive it still heavily affected even people without similiar grief/trauma, but for me who does have that... I think what scares me most about this scene is that I know I would see the exact same thing if I was under the same influence as Blitz is here.

Bonus points for having Blitz wear a piece of his mother's clothing, that's also something I do. Me and my mother had the same size, so her entire wardrobe went to me. It's comforting, like a piece of her never truly left and is always with me. I totally get why Blitz is so attached to it and I'm so happy he didn't lose it. It seems to be the only thing from his mother that survived the fire.

[nsharks]

bleeding blue | apocalypse au

part seven —other parts

pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader words: 3.3k tags: death. blood. zombies of course. reader menstruates. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn't here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival. a/n: some chill stuff before more angst ya know

The next morning, it is your turn to slip a treat into Blue’s hand.

You can tell by her expression that the Twix bar is like gold to her. Her teeth sink in. She stifles a moan. She hisses a swear you haven’t heard yet— Fucking noodles.

It reminds you of the time Paul found a Cadbury egg for Joseph. You smile as you watch, the kind where your teeth manage to poke through and your cheeks have to do some stretching. Ghost is chopping wood somewhere on the other side of camp, but still, you decided to close the shed’s door. 

Last night, you were too worn to stay in the cabin for long. You left just after Ghost shucked on some large helmet with two strange eyepieces attached to it. To see in the dark, Blue explained in a whisper. Of course he would have that. When you asked him where he was going, he’d mumbled under his breath, Gonna make sure you didn’t have any bloody followers. You hadn’t even thought of that. He must not have thought of it until you actually showed up, either. He expected you not to make it.

You don’t know how long he was out there, but by the fact that you’d woken up to his axe chopping wood instead of heads, you figured the territory was clear.

“Better than Nutella?” you ask Blue.

Grey light streaks through the shed and over her face. The smell of potential rain looms in the air.

“That’s a tough question,” she says, licking the residue from her lips. She’s eaten half. She folds the wrapper over to cover the rest and hands it to you. Sweets like these are rare. You told her you’d keep it in your bag until she wanted the rest.

“I think it’s a strong tie,” she decides and then groans, moving her chin to the dip of her folded knees. “I wish chocolate could be hunted.”

“Me, too.”

“Are you sure you don’t want the rest?” She sounds guilty. “It is your Twix.”

“No, really. It’s a thank you.” Your knee gives a nudge to hers. “As if you haven’t given me food that is yours before.”

The guilt turns into a smile.

“You know,” she then says, eyes flicking to your pillowcase bag of looted goods. “When I was looking at your clothes last night, I got an idea of how you could fix them. Can I—” she tilts her head, “Can I show you something?”

She leaves Grim with you as she departs to collect whatever it is she has to share. It turns out to be a magazine of all things. She clutches it to her chest, rolling her lips together before turning it around to show you. The bright ink is faded a little. The corners bent and worn. The date of the issue reads March 2018. There is a woman on the front - some model you can’t remember the name of - clad in a tight blue dress.

The sight is just as weird as the abandoned streets and homes. For a moment, you look down at the skin of your hands, abraded from your bowstring, and press your lips.

“Remember how I told you Ghost and I went to a military base once?” Looking back up, you nod. “Well, we were mainly there to get ammo but we also went through the barracks— that’s where they slept.”

She explains it as if you have no clue, which you don’t. Never in your life did you care about the military, except for that first day when you hoped they might come to find you in some big tanks or something. They didn't.

Blue giggles. “I found this in one of the men’s old dorms.”

When she sees your expression, she says, “It’s okay. I’m not stupid. Ghost told me his old teammates liked to look at pictures of pretty women sometimes when they got bored. Anyway, I’ve looked through it so many times. I like all the fancy clothes people used to wear.”

She begins to flip through the pages and points out a few things. Where before you sometimes zoned out, your mind distracted by survival, this time you listen fully. One page has an ad with lush grass in the background and she informs you that the shade of green is her favorite color.

“Not blue?”

“That is my name, not my favorite color." Her nose scrunches. "What is yours?”

Do you even have one? You think for a moment. What comes to mind are the flowers your mother used to grow at the house in Norbury.

“Violet,” you softly say. “Like the flowers.”

“Huh?”

“They are like… a bluish purple.”

“Oh! There are some flowers like that by the pond sometimes. Hopefully, they come back this year."

Another page she points to has people laying on a white beach with crystal-like water. Blue says she hopes to go there someday. Not to just any beach. That beach.

When she passes an ad with a young man’s face on it - someone about your own age - she pauses for a moment and looks up.

"Do you think he is cute?" she asks. A tender curiosity.

"Um," you can't remember the last time you saw a man's face besides Paul. Ghost is always covered. She holds the page up so you can see it better. A sharp jaw. Dark hair and a strong nose.

"Yeah, he is very cute. Do you think so?"

She nods and bites her lip. "Did you… have a husband before shit happened?"

"What?" You frown. "I'm not that old."

"A boyfriend, then?"

"I had," you search the memories. They feel unimportant. Buried. "I had a few people who I enjoyed spending time with in uni."

"Like sex?"

You almost choke. "What?"

"I am not stupid," she says again. "The rabbits. They do it all the time. Ghost told me that's how they have their babies, and that is how him and my mum had me."

Oh. This is the first time Blue has ever mentioned her mother and you don't know why, but it makes your stomach tight. But she doesn't add anything else about her, as if she'd just told you the sky is blue or Grim is her friend. Something so casual. Brushed aside. As if, she hadn't mentioned it at all.

You don't pry about it.

Not to a kid. Trauma, grief— you can only imagine what a young brain has decided to do with them. But for a moment, your brain tries to imagine what kind of woman it could have been, what kind of woman Ghost enjoyed spending his time with. The only thing you can picture is Blue's eyes. She clearly didn't get them from him.

Blue moves on from the picture of the man. The page she really meant to show you is of a woman wearing jeans with a belt around them. She points to it and explains you could try something like that for the jeans you found.

Right. Jeans. Along with the blouse you grabbed, you got an ugly pink sweater and some jeans that won’t fit you.

"That’s called a belt," you say. “I don’t have one.”

“I have an old shoelace,” Blue says. “How about that?”

“That could work.”

Blue tells you bluntly that you need to bathe first. You smell like those fucks, no offense. You take your new clothes and she finds you a rag. In the bathroom, you harshly scrub your skin to erase the smell of rot. You wash your hair which is slick with sweat.

On your wrist, you notice a light bruise growing where that Grey had grabbed you. Luckily, you were too tired last night for your brain to conjure up any nightmares, otherwise, you probably would've had one about it biting you. Even a bite to just your hand - to a finger - would be enough for the virus to enter the bloodstream. You don’t want to admit it, but with that revolver, Ghost saved your life again. 

After bathing, you slip on the blouse and a pair of too-big jeans. Blue gives you the shoelace. You feed it through the belt loops. It works well enough. The pantlegs fall past your ankles so you roll them. You tuck the large blouse so the excess fabric won’t get in the way while you hunt. The sweater… you don’t bother with it for now. It’s not warm enough. You will stick with Paul’s old coat when you go outside. 

You look in the mirror again.

You stroke your own cheek, looking yourself over. You smooth your hands over the clothes. Underneath, you feel the plush of your breasts. The muscles of your stomach. The curves of your ribs. You are almost back to your normal weight, but it is still evening out. Under your eyes, the skin remains grey. Floorboards and stress will do that to a person.

"Let me see," Blue says on the other side of the door before you open it. You can still hear Ghost chopping wood outside.

“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.” She touches the sleeves. “These are pretty long. They will get in the way when you shoot arrows, right?”

You nod. “Can you bring me the scissors?”

After you cut the sleeves down to your wrists, Blue picks up the scraps of fabric. “Hey, you could tie your braids with these. Like ribbons.”

"I could," you shrug and give a smile. "But I think they would look nicer on you."

The shyness returns as she nods. Gently, you guide her in front of the mirror and begin working your fingers through her hair, just as you do most evenings.

You notice her staring in the mirror with studious eyes as if she is trying to understand exactly what she sees. You wonder if she ever compares herself to those girls in the magazine. An eleven-year-old you certainly used to.

"You look very pretty, Blue."

"It doesn't matter if I do," she shrugs. "It's not like anyone will ever actually get to see me."

"Well," you swallow, "I get to see you right now, and I think you are pretty."

"Thanks.” She accepts the compliment with a puckered expression, before it softens and she adds, "I think you are, too, Twix.”

Twix?

But before you can question it, you hear the front door shut and realize that the sound of chopping wood has been gone for at least a minute. It is clearly Ghost entering the cabin.

You drop your hands before you can finish the braids, stepping back. 

He calls out her name.

Recalling the rifle he pointed at you yesterday, you whisper to Blue, "Maybe you should go out before he—“

But of course, his heavy boots approach. The dark shadow of him materializes in the bathroom's doorway, consuming the space with his head dipped down to fit.

You turn around to face her father at the same time Blue does. His brows are drawn low and in one hand he carries the axe. You notice a sheen of sweat at the bridge of his nose where his mask begins.

The thing is, you try to avoid being spotted alone with Blue like this. She talks to you in your shed. You interact when he is busy with things.

Ghost reaches for Blue’s hand. He gently tugs her to him. He cups the back of her head and bends down to meet her level, though he is still much taller.

"Remember what we talked 'bout?”

What did they talk about?

"I remember," she mumbles. She tugs her arm away. "I was just helping her with her new clothes.” Smoothly, she changes the topic. “What do you think? The shoelace was my idea."

Blue. You almost groan, feeling his dark eyes slowly shift over to you. You think you would rather him press the axe to your throat than share his opinion about your clothes— they aren’t exactly like what the models in Blue’s magazine wore. His stare rarely does anything other than burn holes through your skin, so it is no surprise when you feel the heat through your blouse, up your neck, and all the way to your cheeks.

You look down at your feet.

Then, a bitter memory comes to mind.

You look like you're one 'em already.

That is what Ghost said once.

For a brief moment, you wonder if he still thinks it.

He doesn’t give an answer. All he does is clear his throat. Your strange curiosity fades as he stands and looks down at his daughter. 

"C'mon, kid. Start the fire with me."

"No, not yet. She needs to finish my hair, Ghost."

He allows it, but remains in the doorway, watching as you finish her braids, using the fabric as floral bows to tie them off. 

It looks nice.

It rains just like you thought it would.

Not too heavy, but enough to cut your hunt short for the day, earning you only one squirrel.

When you return to camp, you find Blue crouched over the wood planter as she covers the sodden soil with a layer of mulch. Apparently, Ghost had her plant some cabbage seeds before the rain. The mulch is to stop the seeds from washing away, she explains.

Spring will soon arrive. With it, some crops to add to their meals. Good for them. Maybe you can convince Ghost to lend you a seed or two to plant for yourself. 

After dinner, you sit by the fireplace with your boots off in order to warm your toes. The soft drum of rain against the cabin's walls lulls you into a trance as you listen to Ghost quietly read to Blue. Sometimes he points to words for her to try.

Tonight it is a book you recognize.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Your father read it to you once. A younger version of yourself told him it was too boring. But now you find yourself quite liking the story about a magic wardrobe where kids can escape to another world.

Blue falls asleep on the couch. Ghost carries her to bed like usual. It is your time to leave. The rain has died down some but you already know the water has probably leaked into your shed. Lovely. 

But again you are stopped by a hand around your arm. 

You turn to see Ghost. He clutches the map in the other hand.

“Um. What is it?”

You slip your arm away, his grip allowing it. Is he mad about you hanging out with Blue? Did he discover your secret exchanges? Is he going to finally kick you out since you didn't die like he probably hoped?

“Sit with me.”

You raise your eyebrows. He motions for you to follow him to the table so you sit down, hands in your lap, and pick at the skin of your knuckles. He spreads the map open. He also has a pencil in his hand. Between gloved fingers, he fiddles with it before sliding it over to you.

To your surprise, he demands, “Show me where you went.”

Although confused, you abide, making a small mark over the village. Ribchester. 

His eyes narrow. “Not jus’ that. Show me which way you went.”

“This way,” you say, annoyed by his tone. Faintly, you draw a line through the forest all the way to the highway. “Then I followed the road.”

He takes the pencil from you and slides the map back in front of him, sweeping his eyes over the marks you’ve made. Under the black fabric, you detect the contour of his lips pressed into a straight line.

“How many were there?”

“Not many, really,” you admit. “Do you… Are you wanting to go there?” 

You furrow your brows as you recall what Blue said. They don't make trips often. It is not like Ghost has much need to. 

“No.” Not looking at you, he draws a mark some kilometers south of the one you made. “I want to go here.”

“Why?”

“I need ammo.” 

His voice is clinical and gruff. You definitely prefer it over threatening. As he continues, it officially becomes the most words he has ever spoken to you. 

“Went to a base over here two years ago.” He points a gloved digit to a spot on the east side of the forest. That must be the trip that Blue was talking about. “Wasn’t much left. Took what I could.”

“You’re all out of ammo, then?” 

He gives you a flat look. “No. But I’m runnin’ low. I don’t want to wait until I am all out to go. Need some ammo to make it there, don’t I?”

“Why haven’t you gone sooner?” you pry slowly. “Why do you want to go now?”

“Got a bit more to lose than you do.” 

It is a harsh truth, inviting a sharp breath through your lungs. What he means is he has someone he loves, unlike you. Someone he can’t just leave behind on her own.

You realize that Ghost probably avoids leaving this haven he has set up for that very reason, and maybe it is also why he is particularly conservative about their supplies. Whenever they end up running low, he has to drag her along with him to get more. The threats out there can be hard to predict. You’d been lucky. 

Ghost continues.

“But if you could make it through here,” he gestures back to the marks you made. The route can act as a way to the military base, but he would still have to go further, maybe 10 kilometers past the village. “Then I can make it that way with her.”

You nod slowly as you begin to wonder why he is telling you this. But then, it sinks in, a pit settling in your stomach. If they leave, where are you supposed to go? 

Ghost must read the expression that takes over your face. You don't wear a mask.

“You’re comin’ with us.”

“What?” You stand up, shaking your head as you hiss through your teeth. “No. I don’t want to. I just fucking got back.”

“You’re not staying here on your own,” he growls quietly. “I’m not askin’ whether you want to go or not.”

You catch his eyes. Black glass reflects the dim glow of the fire.

Of course.

He doesn’t trust you enough to stay here.

You have no choice.

[nekohime19]

🌟Neko Shadowpeach Au Guide!🌟

I have so many Shadowpeach Au I can't even 😭

This post is mainly for me to organize myself bc I'm beginning to have a lot of ideas for Au, and a lot of Au in general and I need to write that somewhere or I'm gonna get lost, 😌.

But also it's to let you guys know about future Au I would probably write and see if you like them.

Of course if you guys have any questions about any of my Au's, even the unpublished one, feel free to ask, 😁.

alright here we go :

Published

Monkeys silly love life :

Summary : Macaque never met the great sage, nor the brotherhood, he simply lived like a hermit until his lantern was stolen by a thrall. He finds himself coming to Megapolis in search of his lantern, there he meets MK, his friends and one particularly insistent golden-furred monkey who seems keen on flirting with him despite the Lady Bone Demon taking over the world.

Fic : series of three fic on Ao3

Who said you can't flirt in an apocalypse?

Monkeys discovering the wide world of dating.

I know the world is ending but will you marry me?

Status : all fics completed

Vibe : fluff and humor

Heart behind the lie :

Summary : Sun Wukong's mind is severely damaged by the Lady Bone Demon's possession, leading him to act like a beast. Macaque being the only person he trusts in this state, he is designated as his babysitter. Macaque refuses at first but then finds himself needing magic to survive and decides to accept being a babysitter to better steal Sun Wukong's magic. He might became more attached than he planned for.

Fic : fic on Ao3 + being re-published on Tumblr with two chapters a day

Status : uncompleted

Vibe : emotional angst, feels and fluff

Publishing day : At least once a week

Tumblr tag (including fanarts /answers /memes /chapters) : Heart behind the lie

Mini Mac :

Summary : One day Sun Wukong discovers that a little black-furred monkey had been living in the walls of his stone mansion and decides to befriend him. Problem is, the little black-furred beauty is not keen on deepening his relationship with him, thus the sage has to gain his trust first.

Fic : one fic on Tumblr and Ao3

Status : uncompleted

Vibe : fluff, humor and very light angst

Publishing day : Two to three chapters a week

Tumblr tag (including memes / answers / fanarts/chapters) : Mini Mac au

Bimawen :

Summary : What if Heaven actually gave weight to the title of Bimawen and treated Sun Wukong with respect, even if reluctant? Sun Wukong would have never gone on a rampage and quietly taken care of the horses. Years after Sun Wukong has taken his horsley duties Heaven found another celestial monkey, the Six-eared Macaque causing mayhem in the mortal world. The macaque is judged and if he wants to avoid his execution, he has to become the bimawen's assistant. The problem is the monkeys don't really like each other.

Fic : one on Ao3 and Tumblr

Status : uncompleted

Vibe : fluff, humor and feels / JTTW oriented

Publishing day : Once to twice a month (often more bc I'm inspired)

Tumblr tag (including memes / fanarts / answers / chapters) : Bimawen au

Share my glow (co-writing with Pen-Women)

Summary : Macaque never met Wukong in his life. He is known as the Shadow Weaver, a mysterious entity who guides the one lost in the night. His lantern is the last artifact LBD needs to complete her mech and take over the world. When his forest is frozen by the Thrall he has no choice but to follow a troublesome team of heroes with a particularly flirty Monkey King.

Fic : one in Ao3

Status : uncompleted

Vibe : fluff and angst / ABO

Publishing day : Once a week (every Sunday)

AITA for sleeping with the guy my girlfriend is cheating on me with? :

Summary : A reddit style story with interactive comments about Wukong mess of a love life (and his gay awakening). Wukong learns his girlfriend is cheating on him so in an act of pettiness he confront the secret side boyfriend. What he didn't expect was to get along with Macaque and, after explaining the situation and discovering Macaque had no idea he was a side piece, to get hammered and sleep with him.

Fic : on Ao3 and Tumblr

Status : completed (for now)

Vibe : crack and humor

Tumblr tag : AITA shadowpeach

Unpublished

So here is are my ideas for different Au's! Of course, bc those are still ideas in working, summaries might change a lil bit when I actually write them. Idk if I'll write them all though. They're classed from the one I want to write the most after I'm finished with Heart behind the lie and Mini Mac to ideas in passing.

Love Addicts :

Summary : Macaque and Sun Wukong find themselves feeling miserable after season 5. MK lost his powers when he jumped in the pillar, and both monkeys can't help but feel guilty. Sun Wukong then stumbles upon an odd door in his treasure trove and discovers the existence of a bar selling love potions. Despite hating each other, both monkeys decides to drink one potion to recover some sort of happiness, letting themselves be in love for one week. They take another one after the end of this first week and soon become addicted to the taste of love, even if this love is fake.

Fic : will be on Ao3 (debating if I'm gonna add it to Tumblr)

Status : unwritten / I'm planning this one after Heart behind the lie

Vibe : angst, fluff and feel, smut

Love rings true :

Summary : Sun Wukong took the throne of the Jade Emperor after the attack on Heavens orchestrated by the brotherhood. One day, Wukong gain a new jester, the most famous entertainer of the mortal realm : the Six-eared Macaque. Wukong becomes very enamored with his new jester but he doesn't know how to talk to him. As such he decides to approach him in an unusual way... He becomes a bell and spend the day at his jester's side, on his hat.

Fic : will be on Ao3 and Tumblr

Status : unwritten / Planning this after Mini Mac

Vibe : fluff and humor

Pacific rim Au :

Summary : For a long time, Sun Wukong and Macaque were the best Rangers in the world. Their performance was flawless, their compatibility undeniable, they piloted the Shadowpeach as if it was a part of their own bodies. But after a particular incident, they were never able to pilot together again. Years after, Macaque is required to pilot with Wukong for one last time. One last mission. Maybe having the world on the line will push them both to rekindle what was once lost.

Fic : unwritten / will be on Ao3 and Tumblr

Status : unwritten : fleshing out the lore

Vibe : feels and fluff, smut

Tumblr tag (including lore) : Shadowpeach pacific rim au

Monkey Cop Mania :

Summary : Both monkeys find themselves being transported to a movie-like dimension in which Sun Wukong is the insanely famous Monkey Cop and Macaque a world-wide known thief accused of murder. If they want to get back to their own dimension, they have to solve a murder and finish the movie's scenario. Problem is neither mystic monkeys turn out to be great detectives.

Fic : unwritten / will be on Ao3

Status : unwritten

Vibe : Humor and feels

Once upon a monkey

Summary : various long one shots of shadowpeach being in different fairy tales.

How to bewitch the witch : Wukong is the prince of the Sun Kingdom and falls in love with the cruel sea witch, Macaque, while said witch was destroying his wedding with the mermaid prince, Azure. Once Azure returns to his kingdom and their wedding falls void, Wukong does everything in his power to court Macaque. Turns out, courting a sea witch is quite difficult.

The strongest of them all : Macaque is a magic mirror with the ability to hear past, present and future terribly in love with his owner, the King Sun Wukong. One day Sun Wukong learns that he's not the strongest anymore, but that he's step-son, MK, is. Macaque, after listening to the future, fears for his King and tries to better the relationship between MK and Wukong.

Fighting Beauty : Macaque is prince Sun Wukong personal guard, in charge of guarding him until his betrothed comes to rescue him from the sleeping spell casted upon him. Things get awkward when Macaque awakens Sun Wukong on his first night on duty. Sun Wukong, impatient as ever, decides to slay the dragon himself and not wait on his betrothed, Macaque is dragged in the quest despite himself.

Midnight Illusion : Macaque is at day the mistreated step-son of the Lady Bone Demon, and at night the leader of the most fearsome thieves of the Sun Kingdom. He's unfortunately caught by the royal guard in the middle of a thievery. He's given two choices by the Sun King himself : either spend the rest of his life in prison, or spy on his own step-mother while also pretending to be the Sun King betrothed. Naturally, he chose the second option.

The Mage and the Monkey : Sun Wukong is cursed by the wandering mage, Macaque, after refusing to give him shelter on a stormy night. He's now the Monkey King, and he'll stay in this beastly form as long as he cannot find true love, according to the Mage, at least. But Sun Wukong is not one to stay idle, he finds the Mage huts after a lot of searching, and bugs him everyday to undo the curse. Macaque is tempted to accept, only because Sun Wukong is getting annoying.

Fic : unwritten / will be on Ao3

Status : unwritten / rough ideas really

Vibe : Humor and fluff and angst

Narcissist :

Summary : Sun Wukong was lonely. He felt like there was a wedge between him and the world, that no-one could ever understand him. Even his successor couldn't hope to breach his shell. Pushed by his loneliness, Wukong stole a forbidden book from the gods with the vilest spells written in it and bring his shadow to life.

Fic : unwritten / will be on Ao3

Status : unwritten / very rough idea

Vibe : angst, fluff and horror (Mac being an eldritch horror)

I'll add Au's to this guide if I have any more that I think of, but that's all for now.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Lost & Found - Chapter 2

Summary: Once Negan gets better, he tries to teach Mia to fend for herself so she can take care of herself when he leaves, but Negan finds himself more attached to this girl than he expected to be.

Characters: Negan, Mia, Y/N (reader/OC), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53376820/chapters/135146467

Warnings: Swearing, Gore, a child gets hurt, Severe Angst, etc.

Notes: I was going to wait to post this, but since it's already done and the reason I didn't post it all at once because I thought it may have been too long is why I'm just posting it today. I know it won't get the hits because it's not smutty, but that's okay. I wrote this all in one night a few weeks ago. (Chapter 1)

“Would you knock it off,” Negan looked back over his shoulder to see that Mia was standing in the middle of the woods with her head tipped back and her hands thrown up in the air. With the rays of sun shining through the trees, she was enjoying the way it felt over her flesh. “You’re being weird again.”

“I’m sorry man, it’s just been a long time since I got to be outside this long,” she informed him, her long eyelashes fluttering when she turned her head to stare out at Negan with a big cheesy smile. “It feels nice to get the sun on my skin.”

“You have to listen to me,” Negan snapped his fingers to get her attention hearing her huff loudly. “You’re never going to survive if you can’t focus.”

“I’m focusing! I listened to you when you explained to me how to dress a wound. Which I obviously knew by the way since your ribs. I helped you move the bush and the branches over the gates to hide the fence. I listened to your long ass description of each and every gun,” she listed off the things they had already done together, “So please excuse me if I take a moment to enjoy the warmth on my skin after being locked away inside of a house for so long.”

“Mia, I’m leaving tomorrow,” Negan reminded her of what was happening. Over the last few days Mia had been taking care of him and nursing him back to health. Today was the first day he actually had the strength to get up and move around. “If you don’t pay attention now, you are never going to make it. You have to find your own food and be able to survive.”

“Okay! Okay! I’m listening boss,” she lowered down into the same position that Negan was in noticing that he was pointing to the footprints that were in the grass.

“You have to be able to track and be quiet,” Negan motioned her to follow him to track the deer that they had been for a while now. When they made it to the bush, he motioned her to be quiet and reached for the bow to give it to her. Pointing out in the distance to where the deer was, he saw her face turn pale at the idea of actually killing the animal. Motioning her to use the bow the way he taught her earlier had her expression changing and he could tell she didn’t want to do it. “I know you’ve never done this before, but it’s the only way to survive.”

With a frown, she did what Negan had shown her earlier in the day with the bow and arrow. When it hit the deer and it let out a pained sound, Negan reached out to pat her on the shoulder, “Good job. We’ll have a good meal tonight because of you.”

“I just feel like a horrible person doing this Negan,” Mia stated when Negan moved up on the deer with his knife and she had to look away when Negan finished the deer off. A gagging sound fell from her throat when Negan looked back at her with his hands bloody. “I hate killing something else…”

“It’s the only way you live,” Negan reminded her hearing the sound of something moving in the bushes and he pulled his handgun out, stepping before Mia to keep her behind him when he saw three men approaching them. “Back off.”

“Hey, we don’t mean any harm,” the man in the center explained, his features softening when he looked beyond Negan to see that Mia was with him. “We just didn’t know someone else was out here hunting. We didn’t mean to scare you and your daughter.”

“I’m not his daughter,” she spoke up, her face scrunching when the man that was speaking gazed over her. Negan hushed her and tried to push Mia back behind him to keep her safe. Hearing someone else refer to her as his daughter out loud made even him uncomfortable. “What?”

“She’s not your daughter? With the same eye color, the dark hair and the dimples?” the man inquired drawing Negan’s lips to part, getting distracted in that moment to look back at Mia. Clearing his throat, Negan noticed the way that the sun hit in her hazel eyes and he felt a breath catch in his throat. “I’m sorry young lady. I just thought this was your daddy.”

“My dad died,” she responded once more and immediately Negan cut her off.

“The deer is ours,” Negan informed them, his thick eyebrows bouncing up.

“Do you have a place around here somewhere?” the stranger questioned, but Negan remained quiet. “If you’re looking for a group to join, we have a campsite about a mile or so away. If it’s just the two of you, it might be easier if you join us.”

“We’re good. We’re not alone and our group is waiting for us,” Negan lied, keeping his gun up like he had taught Mia days earlier. “The three of you can move along now. We’re fucking good.”

The three strangers stayed where they were and Negan clicked something on the gun drawing the stranger in the middle to throw his hands up, “Listen fucker, if you don’t leave, I’m going to put a bullet right between your eyes and then your friends. So I suggest you get the fuck out of here.”

“Like I said, we didn’t want any trouble,” the stranger hit the chest of the other two he was with before nodding in another direction. “We will get on our way.”

“Better do that,” Negan waited for them to leave, never lowering his gun until he knew they were far out in the distance. Swiftly moving down, Negan grabbed the deer the best he could and threw it up over his shoulders. Motioning Mia to stay close to him, he walked around in circles for a while and out of the way to make sure that people weren’t following them. Just in case they might be tracking the two of them, he hoped by doing what they were, the strangers would get lost.

“What are we doing?” Mia questioned when she even picked up on Negan acting strange. “This isn’t…”

“Quiet,” Negan hushed her with a hiss before finally leading them back to the cabin. Once they got there, Negan did his best to hide everything and dragged the deer into the kitchen. Dropping the deer on the counter, he heard Mia let out a disgusted breath when the blood splattered. Starting to pace back and forth in the kitchen had Mia’s eyes locked on him, confused. “Fucking hell.”

“What is it?” Mia didn’t understand what was going on and he gave her a glare.

“You are going to fucking die Mia!” Negan claimed with tension flooding his veins.

“What?” she gave him a surprised expression when Negan threw his bloody hands up in the air. “Why?”

“You don’t give strangers personal information!” Negan snapped at her, his face twisting with anger when she looked up at him with her big hazel eyes. “People aren’t nice anymore Mia! They are more dangerous than the walkers and you are able to wind up dead in those kind of situations.”

“You were a stranger,” she reminded Negan and he immediately shook his head.

“I’m not like everyone else Mia! You have to be cautious of everyone. You have to be prepared to kill anyone because they are going to do the same to you. They don’t care if you’re a kid,” Negan continued to lecture her seeing the color growing in her cheeks the further he yelled at her. “People will kill you or they will do something…much, much worse.”

“What’s worse than killing me?” she whispered, her eyebrows furrowing and Negan let out a growl of frustration. “I just don’t understand Negan.”

“People aren’t good Mia. That’s why I had to walk around like I was so they couldn’t follow our tracks,” Negan educated her on what he had done, his head shaking when he stared her down. “Men like that are dangerous. You’re a pure, sweet, little girl that they can take advantage of and hurt. Do you understand me?”

“Negan, I just…” she tried to reason with him since she hadn’t really felt like she did much wrong.

“Do you understand me?” Negan screamed at her causing her to lower her head.

“I understand,” she nodded, a lump growing in her throat while she tried to avoid getting upset with him screaming at her like he was.

“If you don’t listen to the things that I’ve been telling you, you’re going to die and then there will be nothing for your mother to come back to. Do you understand?” Negan snarled when he noticed the redness growing in her cheeks as she continued to avoid looking at him. Curling his finger underneath her chin, he forced her to look up at him and let out a shuddering breath. “Do you understand me?”

“Yes sir,” she responded with a firm nod trying to hold back on her emotions that she was having. Even though she was trying to put up a façade, Negan could tell that she was getting emotional. “I’ll pay attention and listen to everything that you have to say.”

“I’m going to show you how to deal with this deer. It’s very similar to how you would deal with any other animal. You don’t let things go to waste. Not anymore,” Negan started, leading her toward the counter while he started doing the process of what to do after you killed the deer. Even though she was uncomfortable, he made her do a lot of it with his help and instructions because he knew she would be left alone. Whenever it looked like she was going to get sick, Negan would take over and give her a break. At the corner of his eye, Negan could see that Mia was observing him closely. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Do you think that guy was right?” Mia brought up the men that they had run into and Negan stopped for a moment to look over at Mia. “Do you think you look like you’re my father?”

Hearing her ask him that question caused his heart to skip a beat. A breath caught in his throat and he immediately lowered his head to go back to work trying to avoid the question. It had been something that he considered several times since being here, but he didn’t want to bring it up to her.

“We do have the same color eyes. The dimples,” she pointed to her cheek when Negan gave her a quick look trying to avoid getting blood on his face. “Even the freckles on our shoulders.”

“Your father died, Mia,” Negan reminded her, his nose wrinkling when he tried to stay firm about everything. “You know that.”

“Yeah, but maybe my mom was lying like you said,” Mia suggested and Negan almost heard a hopefulness in her voice. “We have so much in common and I do look like I could be yours. We both love peanut butter…”

“Everyone loves peanut butter,” Negan corrected her with a grunt, shaking his head when she was considering this whole thing herself. In one hand he had a knife when he shrugged his shoulders and he noticed that he was dripping blood all over the floor. “You know, unless they are allergic or some shit.”

“You don’t think I look like I could be your daughter?” she wondered having him step back to stare out at her. The truth? Yeah. She looked very much like she could be his. He thought it from the first moment he saw her.

“I’m not your dad,” Negan shook his head, refusing to allow that thought to linger between either of them when he went back to work. “Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? Some random woman gets pregnant with my baby fourteen years ago and just somehow, miraculously I find her in the middle of the woods in a cabin fourteen years later?”

“Weirder things have happened,” she went to try to help Negan when she noticed his hands were shaking and he lifted his hand to stop her. “So there is no way that you could be my father? You weren’t with anyone back then?”

“Mia, I can hardly remember what I did last week let alone fourteen years ago,” Negan reasoned with her, his Adam’s apple bouncing in this throat. “I’m not the only person in the world to have dark hair and hazel eyes.”

“Yeah, but the dimples and the freckles,” she reasoned with him, tugging at her shirt to reveal the freckles that were over her flesh. Stepping forward, she tugged at Negan’s shirt to look at the freckles that were on his shoulders and he pulled away from her with a huff. “Maybe it was the world’s way of…”

“You’re not my daughter!” Negan snapped at her, throwing his hands up in the air to have her stop talking. “I understand that you are probably feeling a certain way because your mother has been gone for so long. You’re looking for someone to cling onto, but I’m leaving tomorrow, Mia. Think about what the chances would have to be for that to happen. It’s impossible. And I have a family. A son that I have to get back to. He needs me.”

After Negan brought up Joshua to her, it made tears burn at her eyes and she nodded her head, “you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. My dad is dead.”

“Can we finish this please? I’d like to get some sleep tonight so I can start early,” Negan begged of her noticing her lifting her arm up to wipe at her eyes with an area of her arm that didn’t have blood on it. Without another word, she stepped forward to help Negan.

Most of the night she stayed quiet, even throughout dinner after they cooked. That was rare for Mia, but she talked. A lot. Just like him. Negan taught her how to preserve the meat and use other parts of the deer. When it was time to separate for the night, Negan went to the room he had been staying in. During the middle of the night, he heard movement in the hallway and he carefully got up to look through the small crack in the door. Mia was sitting on the stairs and she looked deep in contemplation, but also sad.

Considering talking to her, Negan realized it would only make things harder in the morning when he left so he just went back and crawled into bed. By morning, when he came out with the bag he had upstairs packed, he found her sitting on the couch and he wondered if she had been up all night.

Usually Mia never shut up. Yet she was speechless right now. Mia went to sit on the stairs again with nervous energy, but she still said nothing. With him packing the rest of the supplies that he would need that he was taking from what Mia had after their agreement, he could see that her face was red and she looked extremely upset.  

“Well kid,” Negan went to the bottom of the stairs with her hazel eyes lifting to meet his. “I guess this is it. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Yeah,” she moved down the stairs and held out the thing that she had in her hand. Seeing that it was a full jar of peanut butter made Negan’s eyebrows bounce up. “Here, you should have this since I know peanut butter is your favorite.”

“I already have enough,” Negan pat his backpack knowing that she had already given him supplies for his journey. When she held the jar out further toward him, he accepted the jar of peanut butter and gave her a small nod. “Thanks kid.”

“I hope you find them,” she whispered, a tremor falling from her throat as she tried to keep things together. Holding her hand up, she curled it into a fist and held it out to Negan. With a smirk, Negan fist bumped Mia and gave her a wink. “Goodbye Negan.”

“Goodbye Mia,” Negan motioned her to follow him outside so she could let him out of the gate. Before he left, he made sure to help her chain everything back up. “Make sure you cover everything once I leave,” Negan gave one more order noticing that she was having a hard time looking at him when he left. “I hope your mother comes back Mia.”

There was a single tear that was sliding down her face when Negan frowned and lowered his head. Maybe he should have said something more or done something, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Pushing forward, he knew that he had to keep on and find his family. It was hard leaving a kid that he knew had nothing, but he had to. His family was out there waiting for him and he had been gone long enough.

For a while he walked and made some good distance. After some time, he started to hear footsteps following him and he would steal a look over his shoulder to try to see what it was. Keeping on, he heard the footsteps start to quickly come up on him. Turning on his heel, he brought his gun up only to come face to face with Mia who had been following him.

“Mia! What the hell are you doing?” Negan yelled at her, his heart pounding away inside of his chest. Mia had stumbled back when he had thrown the gun in her face out of surprise.  

“Do you think…do you think that maybe you could just stay until my mom comes back?” Mia requested causing Negan’s throat to tense up, a small rumble of a groan falling from his throat. “Please. I have so much to learn still and…I don’t want to be alone again Negan. I’ll give you all the medicine that I have if you do. Please.”

“I can’t,” Negan shook his head, clinging tightly to his bag drawing the color from her features to return. “I have a family of my own that I have to find and get back to. I can’t just wait with you until your mom finally comes back.”

“You’ve been away from them this long,” she reminded him causing his dimples to become more prominent with the anger that flooded his veins when she brought up how long they had been apart already. “Why not wait a couple more days? What difference would it make if you just stayed with me a few more days until my mother came back?”

“I owe you nothing Mia,” Negan reminded her, his eyebrows bouncing up and his head tipping to the side.

“I mean, I did save your life,” she pointed toward his ribs, her chest aching at the annoyed glance he gave her. “You’d be dead if it weren’t for me.”

“And I paid you back plenty with my knowledge,” Negan insisted, throwing his hand up in her direction. “So don’t pull that shit on me.”

“Just a few more days,” Mia placed her hands together, her jaw clenching when she stepped forward toward Negan who pulled the cowboy hat he was wearing from his head. “And when she comes back, then you can just…”

“Your mom isn’t coming back Mia!” Negan interrupted her having a frown flood into her young features. “I hate to be the one to tell you this Mia, but your mom is dead. You know that I’m right. If your mom was alive, she would have come home a long time ago. Something obviously happened while she was out on a supplies run. I can’t stay waiting forever with you because I have a son and a wife to find. You can’t trap me into staying with you while waiting for your mother to return when we both know it’s never going to happen.”

“Just a day?” she tried to get him to agree to something, but he frowned and shook his head. “Please? My whole life I’ve felt like I was just some kind of mistake. It’s my biggest fear. It always was. That I was something my parents didn’t plan and I shouldn’t have been here in the first place. I felt like a waste of space Negan. Until you came along. I felt like maybe I wasn’t a mistake anymore. I saved you. I took care of you. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“Go home Mia,” Negan ordered, clutching to his bag and letting out a long sigh. It was breaking his heart hearing all of this, but there was nothing he could honestly do. “You’ve got a target on your back if you stay out here.”

“Negan?” she whispered his name with a whimper and he shook his head before continuing in the direction that he was headed all along.

It hurt leaving that girl all alone, but he had to or else he knew that he would never leave. There was no way that Mia was ever going to understand that her mother wasn’t coming home. He couldn’t get stuck in a child’s dream that was never going to happen so he had to make his way onward. For a while he walked until he came up on a small camp where a fire was burning. Swiftly making his way into the bush, he wanted to get by without being detected until he heard the sound of a radio being used.

“We found the girl from yesterday,” Negan stopped when he heard that and looked over his shoulder to see one of the men that he had ran into with Mia the day before. Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan squeezed his fist closed and lowered his head.

“Just keep going Negan,” he tried to coach himself, cussing under his breath.

“Did you find out where they were hiding?” the man stood from where he was sitting beside the fire and Negan lowered down. “Did you find the guy that she was with?”

“It was just her. She won’t talk,” the voice on the radio responded leaving Negan to lower his head. “I can’t get her to talk, so we’re bringing her back to the camp.”

“Good idea,” the stranger replied with a grumble, pacing in the small area that they were taking up in the woods. “I can think of a few ways to get her to talk. And if she doesn’t, I really don’t care. I’ll make good use of her.”

“Fuck,” Negan lowered his head into his hand. There were four people already at the camp and he had no idea how many were coming back. Cussing to himself, Negan thought about what he was supposed to be doing. Where he belonged. If he stayed behind to help this girl, he would likely get hurt again or die before he found his family again. “Come on Negan.”

Trying to stay close to the ground, Negan managed to get out of the area of the camp, keeping his head down. He couldn’t let a few days ruin the few years of planning that he had done. It was the sound of a gunshot going off that made him panic. Rushing back toward the camp, Negan carefully came up on it noticing that one of them he had just seen was lying face first in the dirt dead.

“Stop moving you little shit,” the original stranger they interacted with was screaming at Mia from where she was underneath him on the ground. Two of the others were holding her wrists down while she struggled. “You just killed one of my men, you can’t just expect me to let you go without punishment.”

“Get off of me you fucker,” Mia spat at the man and Negan could see that her face was bloody from whatever the men before had done to her. “I’ve got nothing to give you.”

“Where is your dad?” the man questioned, grabbing a firm hold of Mia’s face to get her to look up at him. One of Mia’s eyes were swollen and Negan felt his chest tightening when Mia said nothing. Reaching behind him, the stranger grabbed a hunting knife and held it to Mia’s throat hearing her whimper. “Where is your dad?”

“He’s not my dad,” she repeated what she had told the man the day before. A scoff followed and the stranger dug the tip of the knife further into her flesh. “He’s not my father!”

“Come on little girl. You look exactly like that guy and you expect me to believe you aren’t his kid,” the man half laughed drawing Mia to swallow down hard. “It be one thing if you weren’t a spitting image of him, but you are. You’re expecting me to believe that you aren’t a product of that man’s nutsack?”

“I’m not. Even if he was my dad, he’d want nothing to do with me,” Mia explained wincing when the tip of the blade cut at the side of her face. “He left me! He was just a stranger. Please.”

“Fine. Whatever. I don’t care, he’s not your daddy,” the man mocked her hearing her straining to get out from beneath him. “Where is all of your stuff? Your community?”

Instead of answering the man above her, Mia spit causing the blood from her mouth to spray in his face. With a laugh, the stranger shook his head and wiped at his eyes, “You don’t want to talk? Fine. I’ll find other things to do with you then…”

Going to reach for Mia, the man screamed out when she sank her teeth into his hand causing him to yelp. Trying to pull his hand back, the man couldn’t get her off him and when he finally did, his fist came crashing into her face.

Immediately reaching for his gun, Negan started firing it off hitting one of the men that was holding Mia down on the ground between the eyes. There was no more holding back, Negan needed to protect her now. Shooting the gun at the other one holding onto her wrist had the man rolling backwards and Negan felt his body being tackled by someone from behind. The gun fell from his hand, sliding a few feet away while he struggled with the weight that was over him. Bringing his elbow back over and over again, Negan managed to get the person that was there off before he reached for his hunting knife to bring it back to stab the person that was behind him in the throat.

Shoving the weight off of him, Negan swiftly got to his feet only to feel someone tackling into his ribs drawing him to hit the ground hard. That knocked the wind out of him, especially since he was still tender there from being injured. Over and over again fists hit him and he did his best to block the punches, but the person still got a few good hits in. When the man over him got tired, Negan managed to get a few powerful hits in before bringing his knife up to dig it into the center of the attacker’s chest. Pulling it down gutted the stranger that was over him, causing blood to pour down over Negan. Grunting out, the weight of the body fell in over him and Negan hissed shoving the weight off of him. Struggling for the gun that he had dropped, Negan scoffed when someone shot at the gun causing him to fall back. Gazing back over his shoulder, Negan saw there were two of them left. One was the main stranger that they had seen yesterday and Negan presumed he was the one in charge. He was the one with the gun and the second stranger was approaching Negan.

“I knew daddy wouldn’t be far away,” the man in charge muttered when Negan considered his next move. Noticing that there was a rock beside him, Negan waited until the man approaching was close. Sweeping his legs out, Negan locked his legs with the stranger causing him to stumble, hitting his head on the oversized rock leaving a large blood smear across it. Snatching his gun up from the ground, Negan held it up at the stranger in charge while keeping his knife in his opposite hand. It was then that Negan noticed the stranger had an unconscious Mia in his arms with his knife pressed to her throat and his gun pointed at Negan. “Don’t!”

“So you get your rocks off hurting little girls?” Negan questioned wiping the blood away from his bottom lip. “Is that your thing?”

“Drop your gun or I swear to God I will cut her throat,” the man screamed at Negan watching Negan toss his gun to the side and hold his hand up in the air. “You give me your group’s location and I will let you have her.”

“See, here is the thing,” Negan took a step closer hearing the nervous breath that fell from the stranger. It had him clinging tighter to Mia and Negan clung tightly to the knife in his hand. “You hit that little girl. There is no fucking way I’m going to keep you alive.”

“I said stop,” the man warned, shooting the gun off and hitting Negan in the arm with the bullet. A grunt fell from Negan’s throat when he looked to it and then back to the man. “I said stop!”

Rushing the man, two more shots went off, but a gurgling sound fell from the stranger’s throat when Negan managed to bring his hunting knife into the stranger’s belly before pulling up. Dropping backwards, the stranger released Mia who fell to the ground as well. Standing over the stranger, Negan looked to his own shoulder with a wince. One of those two shots hit him in the shoulder, but the second missed him completely.  

“Your aim is shit,” Negan reached for the gun that the stranger had used, his head tipping to the side. “Are you part of a bigger group?”

“Fuck you,” the man snarled and Negan pointed the gun down at the stranger’s groin. “I’m not telling you shit.”

“Fine,” Negan shot the stranger in the groin hearing him crying out in agony. “Are you the last one?”

“I’m the last one. Please…” the stranger begged holding up his hand for mercy when Negan moved further in over him. “It’s just me. It was only us.”

“You should have left the little girl alone,” Negan took one final shot, hitting the stranger right between the eyes. Dropping the gun on the man’s chest, Negan looked to Mia and frowned. Picking her up in his arms, Negan made sure to grab his things before carrying her back toward the cabin. It took longer since he was injured, but once he made it back, he carried her into the cabin first and laid her down on the mattress that she had previously pulled into the living room for him. Going back outside, he locked things up and hid the gate as best as he could before heading back inside. Getting some water to clean Mia up, Negan frowned while he took care of her hating that he let this happen. He wished she would have just stayed in the cabin like he asked.

After he was done cleaning her up, he could only really see that she had a swollen eye with a bloody nose and lip. Which she should have never had in the first place. Once he was sure that she was okay, he shakily pulled his shirt off and assessed the damage of his gunshot wounds. The one in the shoulder was a whole lot worse than the one that hit his arm. The one in the arm was a flesh wound, but the one in his shoulder was one that he would have to dig the bullet out of.

Shakily searching the medical supplies that Mia had, Negan did what he had to in order to get the bullet out of his body finding himself thankful that this guy had a shit shot enough that it didn’t hit anything major. It was hard to clean up the wounds but he did what he had to in order to make sure that he was safe.

Waiting in the chair that Mia had before when he was hurt, Negan stayed there until morning. Toward the middle of the night he had started to drift and he tried to fight it, but he couldn’t. When it was morning and she started to shift, Negan noticed her trying to lift her head up and he motioned her to stay when he moved to the bed beside her.

“Hey, it’s me. It’s Negan,” he hushed her noticing the way that she seemed to calm down when she heard his voice. “You’re safe. I’m with you.”

Shakily her hand reached for his and he hooked his fingers with hers hearing her breathing uneasily, “I’m sorry I left. I’ll stay with you until your mother returns. Okay? I won’t leave you again. I promise.”

Mia said nothing, just gave a nod and lowered her head back to the bed weakly. Clearing his throat, Negan went to pull his hand away, but he felt her still clinging to it, “Please don’t leave.”

“I won’t,” Negan assured her lowering down beside the bed to allow her to keep holding onto his hand. “I’m right here.”

It didn’t take long for Mia to fall back asleep and he frowned looking her over. The thoughts about what the stranger said about her looking like him was running through his mind. They both had questioned in multiple times and he really did wonder if he was her father. Getting into the bed beside Mia, he laid at the other side watching her while she slept.

After a while he had fallen asleep as well and in the middle of the night woke up to see that Mia had cuddled up next to him much like he had described Joshua to her in the past. Clearing his throat, Negan lifted his head to see that her head was laying over his chest and he was thankful it was on the side that wasn’t hurt. Cautiously, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him so he could nestle his chin in over the top of her head. There was something about Mia that felt personal. And now he knew that he had to stay with her. There was no other way.

----

“Would you show your cards already?” Negan snickered from where he was sitting across the table from Mia who was staring out at her cards that were in her hand. It had been a month and a half since Negan had decided to stay with Mia and wait for her mother to return. Each day Negan could tell that her belief and hope that her mother would return was leaving her. But Negan did his best to keep her hope alive. “You take forever with this game. If I would have known you were incredibly slow, I would have never taught you poker.”

“Hold your horses old man. There is a lot at stake here,” she pointed toward the potato chips that they were playing with in order to do the game. Tossing the potato chips into the center to match his bet made Negan smirk and shake his head. Lowering down his cards, he showed her that he had a straight.

“Not so arrogant anymore, are you?” Negan stole one of the potato chips and she playfully swatted his hand away from the rest of them. Plopping one between his lips, Negan watched her lay down her cards to show that she had a full house. “Jesus. How do you always beat me?”

“Because I’m awesome,” she dropped her hands forward to scoop the potato chips in closer to her. A snort fell from Negan’s lips when she shook her head and pushed the potato chips forward. “But we can share.”

“Very bold of you kiddo,” Negan winked at Mia, taking another potato chip for himself before relaxing back in the chair that he was sitting in.

While relaxing, Mia collected the cards and started to shuffle the cards. It made him smile to see her working them the way that he had taught her. Grunting out, Negan pulled himself up from the chair and moved toward the fire that they had set up earlier in the fireplace. Grabbing his chair, he pulled it to him. Taking a seat, he got comfortable and looked to his wrist. Around it was a bracelet that Mia had made for him in their time together. Sadly, it made him think of Annie and Joshua. It had been six weeks since he agreed to be here with Mia and he never thought he would wait this long for Mia’s mom. It had been over two months since Mia’s mother had left and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she was never coming back.

“You know,” Negan began, looking back over his shoulder at Mia while she was playing a game of solitaire on her own. “You just keep beating me at all the games that I teach you.”

“That’s because you’re a good teacher,” she got up from where she was seated and grabbed her chair to move in beside Negan. Clearing her throat, she stared out at Negan who was looking at her funny. “What is it?”

“Can I ask you some things?” Negan inquired knowing that they had been on his mind for a while, but he was worried to ask them considering the topic at hand. When Mia gave him the go ahead, he stretched out his legs and frowned. “What else do you know about your father?”

“I told you everything I know about my father,” she reminded him, her jaw flexing when she reached up to stroke over her earlobe in a moment of contemplation. Grumbling to himself, Negan knew that was something he did when he was uncomfortable too and it made him sigh.

“You never saw a photo? She never gave you a name?” Negan threw his hand up in the air pretty sure at this point that Mia was his. That stranger wasn’t wrong. The more time that Negan spent with Mia, the more he realized it. From her physical features to some of the ridiculous quirks that she had—she was so much like him.

“I think it just hurt her so much to lose him,” Mia attempted to explain her mother’s behavior. “I don’t know Negan. She just has a ring that she wears. They were married and she never took it off. That’s all she has from him.”

“What does the ring look like?” Negan’s eyebrow arched up as he stroked his fingers down through his short beard. “Is there anything that stands out?”

“I don’t know, it looks like a ring,” Mia was dramatic, a laugh falling from her throat at how serious Negan was being about everything. “Why? What does it matter about the ring that she wore?”

“I don’t know,” Negan lied knowing that he was just trying to strike something in his memory that would make him think about a moment in his life where things made sense. “I just…I feel like if I heard something or knew something, it would make me remember.”

“Remember what?” she could tell something was wrong and she reached out to place her hand in over his. Negan’s fingers hooked with hers and he gave her a weak smile.

Negan’s lips parted when he considered telling her that he thought he was her father. Instead, he waved his hand in the air dismissively and shrugged his shoulders. There was a long silence that lingered over them for a while when they both sat by the fire before she finally cleared her throat. “I was thinking…it’s been over two months since my mother left. I uh, I know I shouldn’t think like this, but I was wondering…”

“Yeah?” Negan tipped his head to the side seeing the color draining from Mia’s features. “What’s on your mind kiddo?”

“If I was ready to finally let go, would you take me with you to go find your family?” she threw out the idea that had been on her mind for a while now after they had waited so long for her mother to return. “I know I’m just some stranger to them, but I really like being with you Negan. You’re the closest thing to a real parent that I’ve ever had.”

“Hey,” Negan frowned, hushing her when she said that out loud.

“I mean it. I loved my mom, but she never used to play games with me,” she pointed back toward the cards that they had been playing with. “I’ve learned more from you than I ever did my mother. I know about football because of you. So many new games. I’ve actually gotten to see the outside. And you make me actually feel seen. Before I felt like my mother’s pet.”

“You don’t mean that,” Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and she shook her head with a saddened breath. “I’m sure your mother loved you.”

“My mother loved me the best way she knew how. You’re the first person I’ve actually felt safe with,” she insisted, turning in her chair so that she could face Negan. “You want to get back to your family Negan and I can’t keep holding you back. So why don’t we pack up and I’ll go with you? I’m helpful. I’m a decent cook. I can teach Joshua games. I can babysit when you and Annie want to have alone time.”

“Mia,” Negan snorted, rolling his eyes at the last comment.  

“Please?” she begged of him, her eyes gazing over Negan when she shook her head. “I’d rather just go with you than stay waiting for someone who really never loved me that much in the first place. I know you don’t feel the same way, but I lo…I care about you Negan. You’ve cared for me more in the last month than anyone has in my life.”

“I…” Negan could see the hopefulness in her eyes. It took a minute before he sighed and he gave her a slow nod. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll take you with me to Missouri. You’re just going to have to listen to me and be on my ass at all times.”

With an excited breath, she jumped across the small space to give Negan a hug. An amused sound escaped his throat when she put as much of her strength into it as she could. Hugging her back, Negan nuzzled his nose in against the side of her neck and smiled.

“Thank you, Negan,” she was grateful for him agreeing and she excitedly hopped up from her seat. “I’ll pack tonight! What should I take? How much should we bring?”

“Hey! Calm down. We have to think things out and then we can pack tomorrow. We’ll leave the day after,” Negan announced knowing that he had found comfort in this home, but he wanted to find Annie and Joshua. Staying here was nice, but this wasn’t where he belonged. He knew that. “Let’s just sit and talk about it. Then we will figure everything out.”

And that’s what they did. They planned everything. They packed and she asked a million questions about Annie along with Joshua. What they were like. The things they liked. And he found it charming that she was doing that. With how much she talked, Negan couldn’t help but find amusement in it. She was so much like him and he knew that. They had fallen asleep talking about things before waking up in the morning to go over everything.

“When are we leaving?” Mia seemed frustrated while she paced the living room with Negan taking in account of everything they were bringing with them. “We should just go.”

“Missouri isn’t that close Mia. We just have to make sure that we have everything. We have a very long journey ahead of us. Okay? Just let me make sure that we have everything that we are going to need,” Negan hushed her while he finished looking through all their stuff. The fact that she was so excited to leave surprised Negan. It was a huge difference from the little girl he had met originally. A laugh fell from his throat when he felt Mia wrapping her arms around him from behind. “What are you doing?”

“I’m giving you a hug,” she answered him, burying her head against the side of his neck drawing Negan’s laughter to grow. “I’m just glad you came into my life Negan. You showed up when I needed someone the most and I love you.”

Hearing that drew a breath to catch in Negan’s throat. Closing his eyes, he cherished the hug that she gave him.

Tension flooded Mia’s body when she heard a faint sound coming from outside. Looking back over his shoulder, he could see something change in her eyes when she looked back toward the door, “What is it?”

When they both heard it this time, Negan watched Mia scramble to her feet and run to the door looking out the front of it, “It’s my mom.”

“Mia, don’t,” Negan warned knowing that it had been so long that it likely didn’t make sense that her mother would be returning. It was too fast though because she was running outside and pulling away the brush that Negan had previously thrown in front of the gate. Once it was open, Negan saw a woman hunched over. She was thin, her hair messy, her clothes dirty and she was covered in blood. It made his throat go dry knowing that whoever this was, she had obviously been through hell. “Mia?”

“Mom?” she whispered and Negan heard the woman let out a tremoring breath before stumbling forward. With the way she could barely hold herself up, Negan swiftly swooped in and caught her when she collapsed. It was obvious she had passed out and Mia was scrambling to get a good look at her face. “It’s her. Negan, it’s my mom.”

“Run inside and get a cloth wet,” Negan instructed carrying the woman in his arms toward the cabin after making sure things were locked up again. Laying her down on the couch, Negan could see that Mia’s mom was likely starved and abused. Wherever she was, she had gone through hell. Footsteps were heard when Mia returned with a cloth. “Go find her some clothes Mia. Some clean clothes.”

“Okay,” Mia ran off to do what Negan requested of her.

Negan did his best to clean up the woman before him. Once the blood and the dirt was mostly gone from her face, Negan felt his heart sink finally seeing the features of Mia’s mom before him. An overwhelmed exhale escaped him when he looked to her hand. Observing the ring over her finger had the room spinning around Negan. Dropping back onto his bottom, Negan cleared his throat and lowered his head between his thighs.

“Hey?” Mia called out when she entered the room again with the things Negan asked of her. “Negan? What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

“I uh…I don’t know,” Negan stammered with an uneven breath brushing his hair back when he gazed over at Mia. “Let’s just get her cleaned up and we’ll have to wait.”

For days they actually waited. Mia was exhausted and finally fell asleep in her room leaving Negan alone with Mia’s mother. When he was finally about to pass out, he noticed her shifting on the couch. Sitting up straighter, he saw her eyelashes fluttering and she let out a pained sound. Moving in beside her, Negan was doing his best to monitor how she was so he could help her in whatever way possible. When she finally came to, she turned her head to gaze over at him and she let out a shocked breath.

“Negan?” she muttered his name, shakily lifting up to reach out and stroke her fingers over the side of his face. Leaning into her touch, Negan closed his eyes and felt his mouth dry when her whimper followed. “Am I dead?”

“No,” Negan answered her, his eyes opening and he could see that she was crying while she stared out at him. “Hey Y/N.”

“How is this happening?” she let out a tremoring breath, doing her best to pull herself up, but Negan hushed her and tried to stop her from overextending herself. “I thought you were dead. When I went to Alexandria, I was told you were gone. That you weren’t…”

“I’m not dead,” Negan shook his head, biting down on his bottom lip grabbing a hold of her hand while she brushed her fingers through his hair. “I never was.”

“How did you find us?” she questioned, noticing that Negan was crying while he stared down at her and she reached up to swipe the tears away. “I never thought…I never thought I would see you again. I tried to talk to Rick after Mia was born, but no one would listen to me. They took some of the people from The Sanctuary, but they wouldn’t take me. I was too loyal to you and they wouldn’t let me in. Even knowing I was pregnant. They just gave me some supplies and shooed me off. I tried going there. I did and I thought I would save you, I just…they told me you were dead.”

“You stayed at The Sanctuary?” Negan confirmed with a frown, his bottom lip trembling when she nodded.

“Until we couldn’t anymore. We were forced out after a while. It couldn’t sustain life there anymore and we had to leave,” she educated Negan, her fingers tracing over the side of his face while she slid in closer to him. “I’m so sorry. I would have kept trying if I would have known that they had you. I just didn’t and…”

“Y/N,” Negan breathed out feeling her lips claiming his and he was frozen against her kiss at first. Closing his eyes, he allowed her to kiss him before faintly starting to kiss her back. When her fingers brushed through his hair and stroked at the back of his neck, he pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers. “I can’t.”

“You can’t what?” she repeated with a weak smile. “Does Mia know that you are her father? Did you tell her? She’s going to be so excited to know that her daddy found us.”

“I’m married,” Negan stammered, his body trembling when she stared out at him with confusion. When she went to kiss him again, he put a distance between them and shook his head. “I can’t Y/N. I’m married.”

“I know,” she lifted her hand to show the ring that he had given her when they were at The Sanctuary together. Y/N was someone that Negan had flirted with for a long time. Someone that he had relentlessly asked to be one of his wives, but she always turned him down. So he romanced her and he romanced her hard. And somewhere down the line he truly felt like he had fallen in love with her. So that’s why when she finally agreed to be one of his wives, he had given her a real ring. At the time, he promised her that after everything went down with Rick that she would be his only wife. And he did know that she was pregnant. It was something he learned toward the start of his war with Rick. It was just when he asked about the people that were still at The Sanctuary, he was told that they all died and he believed it. When he returned to The Sanctuary after he escaped his cell that one day, when there was no sign of Y/N or a baby there, he just believed them. He thought they were dead and never went looking for them again. He couldn’t believe it was something he forgot until he saw her face again the other day. “I’m your wife.”

“Stop,” Negan begged when she went to touch his face again and he lowered her hands down to keep her away from touching him. “I’m married to a woman named Annie. We have a son. His name is Joshua and they are waiting for me in Missouri. I found Mia by mistake almost two months ago. I started thinking she was my daughter, I just didn’t know for sure. We were going to leave for Missouri the day you showed up to go find my wife and my son.”

“You’re not being funny Negan,” Y/N declared with a saddened breath and Negan shook his head slowly. “It’s not…”

“I’m not kidding Y/N. I’m very happily married,” Negan informed her noticing the way that she looked down at the ring that she still wore that he had given her so long ago. “I’m sorry. They told me when I was locked up that everyone was gone at The Sanctuary. I believed them. I thought you were dead. I thought our baby…”

“But Negan, I love you,” Y/N whispered, her voice broken when she shakily reached out to touch him. “I’m your wife.”

“You were one of my wives,” Negan corrected her, leaning back on his knees and shaking his head slowly feeling his heart breaking when she started to cry. “You are a past that I wanted to forget Y/N and I did. I moved on. A long time ago. I thought you were dead and I fell in love with someone else. Someone really great. She knows all of me and she still loves me.”

“So did I,” she reminded him with a sob and he felt guilty, dropping his head down when he saw her sliding back on the couch that he had her on. “Why wouldn’t you look for us? You know that I would never give up on you because I loved you so much. We worked so hard to get pregnant with Mia. We were…”

“I know,” Negan interrupted her with a shake of his head, letting out an uncomfortable sound. “I know. I just thought you were dead Y/N and I moved on. And I’m happy. I was happy. And I want to be with my family. I didn’t mean to, but I completely wiped that part of my life out of my head that I shared with you. I didn’t even remember it until I saw your face again the other day for the first time.”

Silence. That was all that was heard other than her cries while she stared out at him, “Mia and I were going to leave to go to Missouri and search for my family. She thought you were dead and you weren’t coming back. We can take a while to get you feeling better and if you want, I can bring the two of you with me. I can wait the extra time and we can all go together.”

“No,” she immediately responded with a shake of her head, reaching for the pillow that was beside her to bring it in closer to her. “I refuse to go on some journey with you so you can find the family that you actually wanted.”

“That’s not fair,” Negan cried, his head tipping to the side while she stared at out him with pain in her expression. “I didn’t know you were alive.”

“You didn’t even bother to look,” she yelled at him causing the color to drain from Negan’s features. “Now you’re asking me to follow you to another state to find the woman you are in love with. So I can what? Watch you and her together for the rest of my life?”

“You’d be safer with me. You and Mia would be much safer with me,” Negan suggested, his eyebrows full of emotion and he let out a tremoring breath. Hearing her sobbing broke his heart, but he couldn’t fix what had already been broken for so long. “Just come with me. We’ll find my family and all of us can be together. Mia is my daughter too and…”

“Oh, fuck you,” she snarled at Negan shaking her head in anger. “You’re in her life for how long and suddenly you think that you can say and determine what I do with Mia? No Negan. That’s not how this shit works.”

“She wants to be with me,” Negan explained, his fists tightening up at his sides with his body clenching up. “She doesn’t even know I’m her father and she wants to come with me. She loves me. She belongs with me.”

“You didn’t even fucking care to look for her,” Y/N snapped back drawing a shuddering exhale from his throat. “So how dare you act like you even care now. Do you have any idea what I’ve done to get back to Mia. What I’ve suffered through? What those people…” she stopped to look down toward the ground and she shook her head. “No, I won’t let you take Mia from me. Not after what happened to me. You won’t take my daughter. Why don’t you just leave Negan.”

“I can’t just leave knowing that you and Mia are here, vulnerable,” Negan reasoned with Y/N hearing her sobs getting harder. “You aren’t healthy. You both need to be protected. Just rest and in a few weeks we can all…”

“Get the fuck out of here Negan,” she screamed at him shoving her hands into the center of his chest drawing him to fall back onto the ground. “I have been heart broken since the moment they took you away. I haven’t been the same since and you just think you can do this?”

“It sounds like you were so fucked up that you were a shitty mother to our daughter,” Negan erupted back on her, shocking her with his response. “You taught her nothing. If I wasn’t here to take care of her in the two months you fucking disappeared, she would have been dead. I kept our daughter alive and she almost…she almost fucking died at one point, but I saved her. And then she tells me that you never even acted like you loved her to begin with. She’s felt more loved in the last month with me than she ever has with you. So why the fuck did you have to show up and ruin it? It would have been fine if you wouldn’t have showed back up!”

“So you get to just show back up in our lives, say fuck you to me and take Mia away from me?” she spoke softly while Negan’s heart pounded away inside of his chest. “So what was I Negan? Just someone you used to get pregnant? You promise me things that you will never give? Did you ever really love me Negan?”

“Of course I did,” Negan replied back with a frown, throwing his hands up in the air. “I did love you Y/N.”

“Like you said, I was just one of the wives though,” she reminded him what he had said earlier and he reached up to shakily brush his hair back. “I was just the only one dumb enough to love you, wasn’t I? To let you get me pregnant.”

“I understand you have to be going through a lot of emotions right now because of everything,” Negan began, the vein at the side of his neck protruding with the tension that he was feeling. “And no matter what I say to you, you’re never gonna believe me because you’re hurt. Regardless of what you think, I did love you and I was happy that you were pregnant.”

“But you found something better,” she filled in the blanks, her head nodding slowly. “I understand. I’m glad you found what you always wanted. I hope it makes you happy.”

“I am happy,” Negan assured her with a nod of his head knowing that what he was telling her absolutely destroyed her. “But I would be a lot happier if you and Mia came with me back to Missouri. You’d be safer. I’d get to be with my daughter. It’s a win for all of us.”

“No, you don’t get to have the best of both worlds,” she denied him, shaking her head and confusing him. “You pick them or her, you can’t have both.”

“That’s not fair,” Negan countered, anger flooding his veins with her giving him an ultimatum. “I don’t want to lose Mia now that she is back in my life. I’m her father. I belong in her life. You know that you both would be safer with me, but you’re mad at me so you’re holding this over my head. Look what happened to you being alone Y/N. Get your head out of your ass and do the right thing. The right thing for you and the right thing for your daughter. The two of you are just going to die here if I leave you. Look at you Y/N.”

“And it’s not fair that you abandon us and then you get to have everything you ever wanted. A family. A wife that you actually love. Two kids. While I have nothing,” she shook her head causing Negan to frown and drop his head back. Dragging his hands down his face had Y/N dropping back against the couch. “I wish you would have just stayed gone. Because at least with me thinking you were dead I thought you died protecting us instead of knowing that we meant nothing to you.”

“If I would have never showed up, your daughter would be dead,” Negan reminded her with a bit of venom in his tone. “Our daughter deserves to know that she’s mine. I’m leaving to go find my family and I’m going to give her a choice. She can stay here with you. Or she can come. She deserves to have a choice.”

“And she will pick you because you’re what’s new. You’re the fun parent that has shown her love that she never felt,” Y/N pointed out with a frown, squeezing the pillow in closer to her. “Thanks Negan. I take over two months of abuse and torture to make it back to my daughter only to have you take her from me. Thank you.”

“It’s not my fault that all of this happened,” Negan stood up from the floor, staring out at her with confusion flooding his veins. “She deserves to know that she’s my daughter. And she has the right to pick who she wants to be with.”

“Great. I’m glad that you are going to go find your family. Your son. Your wife. And you get to have Mia,” she tremored, a long shallow breath falling from her lips. “Congratulations Negan. You got everything you ever wanted in life. Good for you.”

“I suffered too you know. I was in prison for seven years with people abusing me and treating me terrible,” Negan hissed, his eyebrows furrowing in anger when she rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Fuck it. If you want to be like that. Be like that.”

“I should have known from the start you never loved me. They all told me,” she laid back down on the couch, turning away from Negan when he stopped to listen to her. “Sherry, Dwight, Simon…even Rick. I just never fucking believed it. I was too in love with you. Or the idea of you, I guess. How happy you got when you found out I was pregnant, I thought you were happy to finally have a family. But it was just the baby you wanted. Not me.”

“That’s not true,” Negan reasoned with her hearing her crying when he attempted to move forward to reach for her again. “Can you please just be an adult about this and understand? It makes more sense for you to leave with me and go to Missouri. We’ll all be together and…”

Negan knew it was no use talking to her like this. It just wasn’t. In the end they were never going to agree. Going over to the other end of the room, Negan sat down and cornered himself. Thinking about things, he rocked back and forth. It took him seeing Y/N’s face for him to actually remember that he had a woman that he was married to that was pregnant when he got taken to Alexandria. Maybe she was right. How could someone who loved someone like that forget?

Looking up toward the stairs, Negan knew that he wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Mia, but he knew he had to leave. Grabbing his bag and one of the bag of supplies, he threw it over his shoulder and headed out the door. It was better for everyone if he just left and he knew that.

For a while he walked until he heard the sound of feet trying to catch up to him. Cussing out, he lowered his head and swallowed down hard, “Go home Mia!”

“No,” Mia’s voice responded while she moved in behind Negan. Looking back, he saw that she had the other supplies and her backpack on ready to go on the journey with him. “We made plans, we’re going to Missouri together.”

“Go home!” Negan screamed at her and she immediately shook her head. “Your mother is home now. We made a deal.”

“You promised. You told me that you would never leave me,” she reminded him with a whimper hearing Negan scoff.

“Until your mother returned home,” he reminded her with what he had said. “Your mother is home. Therefore, I owe you nothing. My promise? I made it. So I’m leaving.”

“Please,” Mia begged from where she was standing behind him with the bag over her shoulder. Her eyes were optimistic and she shook her head. “I want to go with you.”

“You are meant to be with your mother,” Negan could see that there were tears swelling up in her eyes while she stared out at Negan. Here she was begging to go with him not even knowing that he was her biological father. And that fact? It tore him apart. “You can’t come with me.”

Turning on his heel, Negan went to leave when he heard her feet following him and he stopped again, “Stop following me!”

“Negan,” she reasoned with him, her bottom lip quivering while she stared up at him. “I…we…I think…”

“You can’t be this stupid, right?” Negan dropped his bag at his side knowing that there was only one way he could think of to get her back to her mother and that was to break her. “I don’t love you, Mia. I don’t. You were a means of keeping me alive. I have no feelings toward you. You told me you cared about me and that you loved me. Did I ever tell you it back? I don’t love you.”

“That’s not true. You wouldn’t have stayed that whole month and a half if you didn’t care about me,” she reasoned with him, her dimples sinking in and it killed Negan seeing that he was breaking her down after his talk with Y/N. “I know you’re just lying to get me to stay here, but with you…I feel safer than I ever have in my life. I love you Negan. Please. I don’t care about anything else. I want to be with you.”

“I don’t want you with me!” Negan screamed at her, his body shaking and his eyes tearing over when she took a step back. Fear flooded into her features as Negan shook his head and bit down on his bottom lip. “You know, your father didn’t die Mia. In fact, your father knew that your mother was pregnant with you and he didn’t care. He didn’t even think about the two of you while he was gone. He just assumed the two of you were dead and he didn’t bother to come looking for you because he didn’t care. You and your mother? The both of you meant nothing to him.”

“That’s not true,” her voice tremored, her head shaking. “My mother said my father very much wanted me. That he loved me. That he loved her. That he would have done anything to keep me safe and…”

“Then why did he go off and have another family? He got married again and had a little boy,” Negan explained, his eyes narrowing when his jaw tightened. Contemplation started to flood her features when Negan started going off about things. “A little boy he loved more than he loved you.”

“Why are you saying these things?” Negan was hurting her and he could see that his words were breaking her heart. “You told me that I could come with you before. You said…”

“I thought your mom was dead,” Negan reminded her, his bottom lip quivering when he shook his head. “You see Mia. I know your dad isn’t dead because I’m your dad. We both know it. Even those strangers that we ran into knew that you were my daughter. All you have to do is look at us and you know that you’re my daughter. You have my eyes, my dimples, my freckles, my smart-ass sense of humor…”

Negan’s finger circled his own face and then he pointed out at her, “I’m your dad Mia.”

That backfired. After he confirmed for her what they both had wondered before her mother even came back, she ran to him and wrapped her arms around him to hug him. Holding his hands up in the air, Negan swallowed down hard and closed his eyes.

“Get off of me,” Negan demanded, shaking his head while venom flooded into his tone. “I didn’t want you then and I don’t want you now.”

Stumbling back, Mia looked up at him with her hazel eyes full of tears and Negan shook his head, “I knew your mother was pregnant with you. Once I was taken to Alexandria, I never looked back. I didn’t give a shit about the people there. I didn’t give a shit about your mother. And most of all…I didn’t give a fuck about you.”

A hurt sound fell deep from within her and her sobs followed. Even though he was trying to hold it together, he was breaking himself and he hated himself for doing this but he knew that he had to find a way for her to stay with her mother, “I could have come looking for you. And I didn’t. Because I didn’t care Mia. I started a whole new family. I have a son that I love. A wife…”

“Maybe…maybe you could learn to love me,” Mia whimpered, tears sliding down the sides of her face. “I don’t think we can make it without you Negan. I almost didn’t. Daddy please…”

“Don’t call me that,” Negan warned her, holding his finger up in the air and pointing it at her. “Don’t you dare call me that. You have no right to call me your fucking father. I didn’t want it then and I don’t want it now.”

“But you are,” she frowned, reaching up to rub at her tear-stained face while he continued to down talk her and chastise her. “I know you love me. And knowing that you are my dad, that just proves that this was meant to happen. You were meant to find me…”

“I have a son that I actually love and I’m going to find my way back to him,” Negan informed her with a shake of his head and he reached for his bag. This isn’t how he wanted things to go down, but Y/N made things clear earlier. There was no way that she would come with them and if he took Mia, it would destroy her. “I have a family that means something to me. And I’m going to find them. So why don’t you stay with your mother? Someone who actually loves you.”

“Please, I can help you find them,” Mia begged of Negan, her body shaking while Negan tried his best to stop himself from crying, but he couldn’t. “I’d be a really good big sister. I’d…”

“I’ve spent the last month and a half with you Mia,” Negan reminded her of the time they spent together and he shook his head. “And in that time, it only confirmed for me what I knew back then. I feel nothing for you. There is nothing here. You were a mistake. A poorly timed mistake that I never wanted in the first place.”

Calling her a mistake when that was the thing she was the most afraid of hearing hit her deep down and he knew that it would, “Goodbye Mia.”

Her sobs filled the woods and Negan continued walking through them. After a minute, he felt her running out and grabbing a hold of him in attempts to keep him near. Yanking his arm away, Negan spun on his heel and stared down at her, “I don’t want you, Mia. What about that don’t you understand?”

“Then I will sit here. And I’ll wait for one of the flesh eaters to get me,” she whimpered dropping down in the middle of the woods that they were in. “If you don’t want me, I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t like it with my mother. I love you and I want to be with you. Please.”

“I don’t care Mia,” Negan scoffed, grabbing his bag hearing her cries getting louder when he threw his hands up in the air. “If that’s how you want to leave your mother, then that’s your decision. From here on out? You aren’t my problem.”

“Please Negan,” Mia’s voice was broken when he turned away from her to look in the other direction. He had to convince himself to keep going. He couldn’t let this break him. He made his choice and so did Y/N. “Daddy. Please. If you leave, you’re leaving me to die. I’m begging you…”

Walking away, Negan could hear her cries no matter how far away he got. And he had to force himself to keep going. After what her mother told him, there was no way that it would have ever worked. And he had to tell himself that. He had to find Annie and Joshua. There were no other options. Y/N was his past and while he understood why she was hurt, she was the one that denied them going with him. So he had to respect her wishes. The best that he could hope for at this point was that they were able to keep going. That they would find a community and be able to move on.

More than anything he wanted to bring Mia with him, but her mother made it clear that wasn’t a possibility, so he had to wipe that idea from his mind and keep going. No matter how much it broke his heart.

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Grey 51

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Eternity was a large ship, but it was still dwarfed by the Gren station. With a puff of thrusters, and a clang of hulls, the Dreadnought made contact.

The boarding party stood a few meters from the sally port. The shock troops mirror polished, black armored pressure suits stood in opposition to Fen's Empress armor. Hers was pure white with gold and blue accents, almost like porcelain.

"I must reiterate, Empress, you don't need to-" The commander started to speak.

"Regardless, I am coming. This was my home. I know this place better than any of your maps. Fen's body language was hidden by her armored pressure suit and solid white helmet, but the commander could hear the warning in her tone. She shifted her battle rifle slightly.

"O-of course, Empress. Still, it is our responsibility to protect you. You will be safest aboard Eternity."

"Your responsibilities are to capture Tam'itarr alive and ensure the survival of your team. Leave me to me."

The commander saluted, and said nothing.

Fen turned towards the sally port. All of her Dreadnoughts had them in a few strategic locations. Ships had missiles, slug throwers, and exawatt laser batteries, but sometimes they had to board ships and capture them. It looked like a regular airlock, except the outer door was replaced by high speed cutters. The ship would make physical contact with the object to be boarded, and the cutters would force an opening, allowing boarders to attack in person.

After a few minutes of cutting, the light over the port started flashing yellow. "Get ready," the commander shouted. "Remember, keep collateral damage to a minimum, do not go wild. We're here to capture someone, not take over the station. Guard the Empress."

The light turned green, there was a loud buzz of an alarm, and the sally port snapped open. Everyone's rifles snapped up and they entered the station.

The captain had chosen their location well. They were attached midway down the station, in a random corridor. Fen had been slightly worried that they would open up right inside one of the common areas and would be under attack immediately, but she had nothing to worry about.

It was… odd. Fen wasn't sure what she was expecting, but it wasn't this. After exiting the hall, Fen was able to orient herself easily. Down this way, turn here, around this pillar, through this archway, past the warning light that has been blinking her entire life without ever being repaired.

She was home.

Only, it wasn't home. Not really. With no Ma-ren, this place was only a pile of memories and hurt. The sooner they captured Tam'itarr and left, the better. Fen shook her head slightly inside her helmet, making sure the helmet didn't move. She tried to shake herself of the memories.

Fen led the boarding party walked through the station, weapons at the ready but not actively pointing at anyone, but the few people they came across… didn't care. People barely looked up, let alone running away or attacking. The only people who bothered to look at them were children. As soon as they did, their parents shooed them back into their domiciles. The third time it happened, Fen felt a little silly and had everyone lower their weapons. They all straightened up and began to walk more normally.

"Empress… do you know what's going on?" The commander said, looking around. "This wasn't the reception I was expecting."

"No, commander, I don't know either. Many people on the station had joked that they had seen 'everything' and that nothing would surprise them, but I didn't think they would take it this far." Fen's faceless white helmet turned towards the people sitting in cafes who were pointedly not looking at them. She toggled her comm. "Weapons, please confirm you disabled their reactors."

"Empress, we have confirmed strikes on three of the five energy sources that we determined to be reactors. Additionally, we were not fired upon while boarding."

"It sure doesn't look like their reactors are down, Lieutenant. Lights are on, there are no alarms, everyone is enjoying their afternoon."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. "Empress? You're sure? Everything is up and running?"

Fen tisked. "Why would I lie to you, Lieutenant? It's almost as if you didn't strike any of the reactors at all."

"W-We will reconfirm our shots, Empress. We will contact you in moments."

The line disconnected and Fen stopped walking. "I don't like this."

"Yes, Empress. it feels like a trap."

"Weapons ready." Everyone snapped their rifles back to their shoulders and spread into a defensive pattern. Meanwhile, Fen strode up to a young Gren man sitting at a cafe, reading a pad. "You. What is going on?"

"Hmm?" He lifted his head and looked at Fen. His expression tried to remain the same, but she saw his mouthparts twitch slightly before he spoke. "Nothing is going on, it's a normal day."

"Oh for the love of-" Fen cleared her helmet and locked eyes with the Gren. "W̴͈̃h̸̐ͅá̶̞t̷͇̽ ̷̪͌ì̵̬s̶̪̀ ̵̢͛g̴̹̿o̶͓͒ï̷̪n̵͚͆g̶͕̍ ̴͌͜o̴̲͂n̶̨̛?̴͇̇"

"We were ordered to ignore you." He answered immediately, almost without thinking. Once he realized what he said, he reared back, frightened.

"Who ordered it?"

He stood up from his chair quickly, knocking it over. He was backing away from her gaze, trying to escape. "Tam'itarr ordered it! He runs the place now!" Still reversing the Gren tripped over a table set and turned around and took off down the hall, running. One of the soldiers readied his rifle.

"No, don't shoot him. There's no point. He told me what I needed to know anyway."

It felt like someone was pushing her over. That was the thing she remembered first. Fen had no idea what getting shot was like, but it really felt like someone took a sharp shove to her shoulder. Her suit squealed at her that she was taking fire, and to get to cover. Fire? She's being shot at? Her second thought was of Ma-ren. Was this how it felt for her?

Fen fell to the deck with a thud. The armor had absorbed the majority of the shot, but there was still bruising and pain. While on the ground, there was another shot to her helmet. This one was much louder, with a metallic thwack sound that came from behind her. They absolutely were shooting at her! The nerve! Fen rolled onto her back to try and get up, and she was shot again. The suit was getting quite cross with her, with the internal screens lighting up with GET TO COVER in red and AVOID GETTING SHOT. Hmph. That seemed a little sarcastic.

With a rush of noise, her perception of the world sped up. The commander was leaning down and clinked his helmet to hers, enabling the suit-to-suit. "Empress! Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm all right. The suit - even though it's sarcastic - is doing well. Have we determined the source of the attack?"

"No, it's from multiple locations. We need to get to cover!" He helped her up, and everyone encircled her. Crouching low, below them, they started moving as one towards the restaurant that Gren was eating at before the attack. Fen could hear the shots ricocheting off the strong Imperial armor, but if they brought out any heavier weapons, they'd start taking casualties.

"Empress! Empress!" It was the Lieutenant from weapons. "We were duped! The energy sources are gone, the reactors weren't there. It's a trap, you need to get off the station!"

"Yes Lieutenant, we were able to figure that out on our own." Fen's vision blurred slightly. That shot to her head had made her brain vibrate some. "Please fire upon the station. I would like for them to stop shooting me."

"Uh… Empress? With all due respect…"

"Yes Lieutenant, spit it out, I am under fire right now and don't really have time for protocol."

"Why don't you just Voice them and make them stop shooting at you?"

Oh for Ancestors sake. "Yes, thank you Lieutenant. That's an excellent idea."

Fen stood up straight from the huddle of her soldiers and toggled her external speaker.

Č̶̨̚ě̸̬a̵̓͜ṣ̷͊͝ẻ̵̪ ̷͇̼́͋F̴͎̒í̸̺̌r̵̡͇̈́̋e̶̡̤̋̿!̵̧̥̇!̸͔͝

The shots stopped immediately. There was a commotion coming from some hidden corners. Probably attackers trying to figure out what is happening.

S̴̺̒h̵̺̃ȏ̷͙w̴̘̄ ̸͎͌ỳ̵��ö̷͙́ȗ̶̡r̷͚̂s̵̠̕e̸̬̿l̶̛͜v̵̻͋ȇ̴̩s̶͓͊ ̷̋ͅr̴͉͐i̷̦͒g̵̡̒h̶͚̅t̸̻͋ ̵̫͌n̷͙̐ò̵͎w̶̩̑.̶̠͋

About a dozen people walked into the hall from three locations, one behind, one parallel and one in front of them. It was a motley crew of mostly Gren with a few K'laxi and some Sefigans with them. All were using modified human rifles and submachine guns. Old, poorly maintained ones, modified for other sapient use.

"Where's Tam'itarr?" Fen said.

"He's holed up somewhere up towards the top. He has a group of those old K'laxi refugees with him." One of the Gren said. He was shorter than most of the other Gren, with a dark fur flecked with gray.

As Fen's eyes passed over the group, she came across a familiar face. A face that was burned into her memory. A K'laxi with half of an ear notched, with dark brown fur and a smug grin.

It was him. The one who shot Ma-ren.

"You!" She pointed, her finger shaking with rage. C̴̦͗ǒ̴̰m̷̻͐e̷̘̾ ̵̜̚h̷͔̀e̸̠͋ŕ̶̫ȇ̷͕.̶̨̀

The K'laxi stepped forward, walking robotically. Trying to fight the imperial order always made people look like they were fighting their own bodies. He stopped a meter away from Fen.

"You are with Tam'itarr's crew."

He nodded once.

Fen cleared her helmet so that he could see her face. His eyes went wide with recognition, but he scowled and said nothing.

"You know me." It wasn't a question.

"You were one of the people chasing after me and Ma-ren when we were trying to escape. To try and get to Spyglass?"

He didn't move.

A̶̢̡̨̠̙͎̭̰͊͒ͅÑ̷͔̠͓̩̲̫̫̲͖̒̍̀̒̃̀̚̚ͅS̵̢̟̦͓̘̫̯̉͋͠ͅẄ̸̢̡̧̻̣̝̣̘E̸̘͙̝͔̝̮͕̭̗͎͆̈́̎̂͠͝R̷̨̧̢̘͎̠̻̠͓̮̎̓̄̀̇̏̅͝͝͠ ̷̧̡̞̦̺̣͖̤͊̂̓͋̓M̵̨̭͓̮̺̥̜̥̺̤̐̿͛͊̈́̿̂͝Y̴̗̳̗͆ ̵̝͈̣̔̑̔͝Q̸̙͊̊U̷͓͈͎̎͒Ȩ̶̭͖̥̰̳̻̗̘̭͒̒S̴̹̓͑͗͋́͑͆̂Ṯ̴̻̖̀͒̾̄͌̐̋͝͠Ḭ̴̧͕̜̬̖̫̊̿̈́̈́̾̆̅O̷̢͇̗̳̜͎̒̍̾̅̾́͘Ņ̸̻͖̯͈̙̍̀̓̐͘͜͠ͅŞ̴̥̰͖̹̮̓͆͆̉̃͑̈́̈̕̕ she shouted.

Her Voice reverberated through the open area. It felt like the whole station went silent at her shout. His answer was practically a whisper, all his bravado gone.

"Yes."

"You shot Ma-ren?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I thought you would turn to go after her, and then I could shoot you too. But that damned other human you were with fended us off and you two escaped."

Fen stood straight, and nodded once. She reached onto the pad on the wrist of her suit and opened the helmet. With a hiss of pressure, the front of her helmet opened like a flower and folded down, becoming like a collar. Her head was in the open air of the station, at risk. The commander opened his mouth to tell her to put her helmet back on, but she turned to him, and her face made him close his mouth again.

She turned back to the K'laxi.

S̵̝̭͒͆t̵͉͕͌o̷̰̣̓p̵̧̹̊ ̵̩̎͝b̷̧͋̓r̵̪̈́e̸̦̔ȧ̴̠ṯ̷̢͝h̸̠̼́͌i̴͉͎̇͌n̶͚̳̈́g̶̯͇̒͠.̸̞̠͆͆

He looked up at her, puzzled. He went to take a breath to speak, and found that he couldn't. Looking at her in surprise, he tried again. His muscles wouldn't work to pull air into his lungs. He started to panic and turned to his compatriots. Fen locked eyes with them, and they said and did nothing. He started clutching at his throat, his fur puffed out, his mouth opening and closing, his tail vibrating furiously.

It sook quite a while for him to die.

When it was over, she touched her pad without looking at it, and the helmed unfolded and re-formed over her head. She waited until it was opaque again, and her face was obscured before she cried.

[the-fiction-witch]

Hypothetically

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader (Bisexual)

Rating Smutty Discussions.

I sat pondering for a while on the stairs of the theatre's standing. Where often people lingered to watch surgeries. On the step above me sat Jack halfway down his bottle. But it had been one of those days.

“Jack?”

“Umm?”

“You think he'll live?”

“Hard to say. He'll survive I hope, not sure how much living he'll do”

“How so?”

“I just cut the guy's cock off. He'll be alive, will he be happy … different matter”

“I guess. How'd you feel?”

“When?”

“Someone cut your cock off?”

“Ohh I'd kill myself”

“Really?” I giggled

“I'm very attached to it I don't wanna live my life without it” he explained “That whole surgery had me ... crossing my damn legs”

“I imagine so, well don't do what he did”

“I'm not dumb. I'm not going to stick mine whenever the hell he did it. And then not clean it for a year. I'm attached to mine I take good care of it”

“Good to hear most don't”

“How so?’

“Most men don't take care of them”

“I'm well aware.”

“When was the last time you used it?”

“I use it daily?”

“You know what I mean”

“... You mean have sex?”

“Yes”

“Last time? Sunday I think.”

“You think?”

“I've had sex many times I don't always remember” he chuckled

“Many times?’

“Yes, many times. I was a sailor y/n”

“Ohh so you'd climb off your boat coins in hand to find yourself a pretty thing for the night?”

“You try being in a ship nine months without… wanting a little attention when you get to port”

“Understandable, I imagine there are girls from Tasmania to Tottenham who can tell tales of their night in the arms of Jack Dawkins” I giggled

“A few of them” he shrugs “What about you?’

“What about me?”

“When was the last time you… felt the touch of a man?”

“Ohh a couple of years back now”

“That long?”

“When one is a widow you don’t get much attention”

“I guess not. It must be hard for you. Not having attention I mean”

“I have attention”

“Do you?”

“Yeah I got some just last week”

He looked confused “What?’

“I had attention last week Thursday if I recall correctly”

He looked so very puzzled like trying to solve a zen riddle in his head

“Your husband had been dead for three years. You haven't had the touch of a man in several years. And you got attention last Thursday?’

“Correct”

“... How'd -” he froze up giving me a suspicious look “Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Did you… see a girl?”

“Yes”

He was utterly gobsmacked “You went to see a girl!’

“Yes Jack”

“And did what?!”

“I imagine the same thing you do when you go see a girl”

“But How'd you, do the -”

“We have hands. We have mouths. We have… wooden toys”

“Toy- oh my - really!’

“Yeah, this is really surprising for you?’

“Yes! So you… like, girls?”

“I do”

“But you were married?”

“Yes”

“So you like boys?’

“I like both”

“Both?”

“Yes Jack, both”

“Hu …” he said “That's certainly news to me”

“I get lonely same as you Jack”

“Yeah I imagine you do I didn't expect you to… see a girl about it”

“Who else would I see about it?”

“That's a very good point I don't know. Where do you go then? Out of curiosity?’

“Why?’

“I'm curious”

“cat and bagpipes”

“Really?”

“Yeah”

“Who do you… see there?”

“Why?”

“I wanna know I'm curious”

“Who did you see last time you were lonely?” I asked

He glared a moment before he checked the door “Hetti, was a few nights ago here.”

“Really?’ I giggled “ohh was she cold and lovely so she needed to come to share your bed?”

“Something like that, so who did you see?’ he asks sipping his drink

“Lisa”

Immediately he choked “Lisa! Lisa at the cat and bagpipes?”

“Yes Jack”

“... I… I've seen Lisa before”

“Have you now?”

“Yeah, I see her… every so often”

“Yeah she told me”

“She- she told you?”

“Yeah, we often chat after and she mentioned you come to see her sometimes”

“Is that uhh all she told you?’ he asked nervously

“That's all she told me” I smiled and he relaxed a little “Cutie”

“AHH!” He yelped “How do you know about that!”

“She told me”

“She did?”

“Yeah,”

“She uhh she's never said anything about you”

“Yeah I told her not to tell you I figured you'd… freak out”

“I'm not freaking out, perfectly normal to know that we… see the same girl”

“It's a small port jack everyone sees the same girls?”

“Good point”

“Is it weird for you?”

“... I guess not you are right everyone gets lonely”

“All right then”

“So you girls… do what exactly together?’

“Same thing you do together?”

“I highly doubt that. Because I have a very crucial element that you two don't”

“You mean your cock?”

“I do mean my cock”

“That's what the wooden toy is for”

“So you two…. Holy- okay! Good to know” he gulped

“It's very fun”

“I imagine it is”

“What about you? All those dark stormy nights at sea you ever … visited the boys next door?”

“No, I considered it I admit some very dark nights but no never did”

“You should, it's fun”

“Sounds it” he laughed

For a moment we sat quietly until he spoke again

“So… hypothetically, if one night I was going out to see Lisa? You potentially could also walk to me?”

“I could yes if I too wanted to see Lisa”

“So one night if we were both feeling lonely we could walk down to the cat and bagpipes together? So we wouldn't be walking alone and all?”

“We could Jack you're right” I laughed “But I am not having an argument with you”

“An argument?”

“Over who gets to go first.”

“Well, Hypothetically if we were there a the same time having walked together there’s no point one of us sitting outside and waiting.”

“Oh?”

“Makes more sense if we both just… go in with her.” he smirked “And then she’ll charge us for one not two”

“Now that is a very practical idea. That you clearly just thought of there Jack.”

“I thought so.”

“And What will you do? Sat in the room while Lisa and I?”

“Ohh I’m sure I’d find something to… occupy my time.”

“I’m sure you would” I giggled “Probably watching us.”

“Watching you? Now that is an idea.” he smirked sipping his drink

“Ohh I bet you’d get some perverted joy out of watching Lisa and I?”

“Would I?”

“I think you would. I imagine it to be very fun” I giggled

“What?”

“Lisa and I? With you sat watching us. Lisa and I discussed it in fact last week.”

“Y-you what!”

“You really think we don’t talk about you? We both thought it would be… thrilling indeed,”

“Thrilling?”

“Two young ladies, touching one another intimately. With a man to sit and watch them, when he fucks one of them regularly and has wanted to fuck the other since he met her.”

“How- How’d you know I wanted to-” He began but I gave him a kiss

“You told Lisa. So she told me.”

“I take it she’s told you most of my secrets then.”

“Any she thought I’d find interesting Jack.” I giggled sitting back against the steps

“So, hypothetically? As Lisa and I. And you and Lisa. and I was already there, possibly watching, do you think there could be any possibility of involvement?”

“Is that your very gentlemanly way of asking for a threeway?”

“Yes.”

“Okay”

“Okay!”

“Yeah, we’ve talked about that too” I giggled “I’d allow it hypothetically. But I don’t think it would be good for you.”

“Why not?”

I smirked, “We’d tear you to shreds.”

“Maybe I want you girls to tear me apart” He smirked back

“You’d get jealous.”

“Jealous? Of what?”

“How loud she screams for me. How loud she makes me scream”

“Maybe I would get jealous, all the more reason to get involved.”

“You might end up angry”

“Why?”

“Maybe our little toy might be bigger than you”

“Humm with everything Lisa’s told you I’m surprised she left my… mastery with my sword off.” he smirked I glared a little at his word choice and he just winked

“What time does Lisa stop working?”

“One why.”

“What time is it Jack?”

He got his pocket watch and checked the time “Uhh half eleven.”

“Shall we?”

“Are you serious?”

“Hypothetically? Should we go?”

He grabbed my face and kissed me with enough passion to floor an elephant “No more hypotheticals. Do you wanna do this?”

“I’m game if you are.”

“Fuck yeah” he smirked getting up grabbing my hand and dragging me off with him. 

[sapphire-weapon]

If you're comfortable, I'd actually LOVE to hear your Ada x Wesker opinions.

The way that Ada talks to Wesker in Separate Ways is very different from how she talks to literally anyone else in the series. She is more casual/colloquial with him than she is with anyone -- with the sole exception to this being the way she talks to Leon in Damnation. Basically, the way that Ada talks to Leon in Damnation? Is how she talks to Wesker in Separate Ways.

And... what happened between Leon and Ada leading into Damnation?

Just saying.

Separate Ways tried to heavyhandedly put more sass into Ada's character in general, but it's more honest when it comes to Wesker. She cracks jokes at him and emotes openly at him. She gets openly annoyed with him at times, and even has a tone of "dude, come on" with him when he gives her a ridiculous order.

She just always seemed very... comfortable with him.

And it always struck me as weird that Wesker wanted Leon dead so badly in Separate Ways. It is the only time in all of Resident Evil that Ada is given orders to assassinate/kill someone. And it's the way he goes about telling Ada to kill him:

"And that US government lapdog, Leon -- if you do happen to encounter him, put him out of commission. We can't let him interfere with our plans. [...] He's a survivor of Raccoon City. We could do without the extra distraction. Take him out."

Like, obviously, Wesker sees Leon as a threat to Ada's mission, and the pretense that he gives overtly for it is "If he can survive Raccoon City, there's no knowing what he's actually capable of."

But the "extra distraction" part always seemed like a weird choice of words. It was like Wesker knew that Ada had some sort of attachment to Leon already and thought that he would get in the way of her mission not because he'd overpower/kill her, but because she'd be too distracted by him to do her job.

And that struck me as being a little jealous.

Later, when Ada reports to Wesker that Luis is dead and Saddler has the Sample, his response isn't... anger or frustration or irritation or even disappointment. It's:

"Have you had a chance to eliminate Leon?"

It's only after Ada says no that Wesker gets the idea in his head to use him. He didn't ask her that with the intention/plan of using Leon if he was still alive; he just wanted to hear that he was dead -- and, when he didn't get that, he drums his fingers against the arm of his chair in thought and then comes up with the idea to use him.

And what's crazy about it is that Leon plays his part perfectly and unknowingly does exactly what Wesker wanted him to do -- and Wesker still wants him dead. And since he's clearly not going to get his way and have Ada do it, that's when he decides to sic Krauser on him.

And after Krauser dies, Wesker is still on this, and he's all like: (paraphrased) "Make Leon and Saddler fight each other and then kill the winner. MAKE SURE YOU KILL HIM, ADA."

And then he fucking hangs up on her.

It's starting to feel a little personal, at this point.

And then Umbrella Chronicles happened. And it's revealed that Wesker saw all that shit go down between Leon and Ada in real-time.

Which now makes his desire to see Leon dead feel really, really personal.

When Wesker contacts Ada in Umbrella Chronicles, he does so via video chat (somehow in 1998 the tech for that existed shut up), and her reaction on seeing him fucking shocked me.

I expected that her reaction/tone would have a hint of "oh shit" behind it or "oh god here we go" or even just cold, unfeeling business -- kind of like how a soldier "Sir"s their CO. But that's not what she does.

She sighs his name in that dreamy sort of way she sighs Leon's name during Separate Ways.

At the very end of Umbrella Chronicles, Ada says in her narration:

"[Wesker and I] are both used to being backstabbed and manipulated. I have a feeling our relationship will last for a little while longer."

Ada's hookshot? That has become a huge staple of her gameplay and character design? It was a gift from Wesker -- it's what he gave her so that she could make it out of Raccoon City alive.

And she never stopped using it.

NOW, WITH ALL THIS BEING SAID

I am not trying to make a case that Wesker and Ada loved each other or that their relationship was romantic at all.

What I am saying is that I do think that their relationship went deeper than just a professional working one. I think that they were definitely sleeping together, and I think that Wesker knew and understood who Ada was better than anyone ever has in her life, and I think Ada knew that.

Wesker is a sociopath, but he still trusted Ada's ability and her judgement and seemed to, on some level, also genuinely enjoy her company.

And Ada, I think, found some comfort in Wesker's familiarity and felt a connection with him based on their similar past experiences. I think that her keeping the hookshot even after she betrayed him and after he'd been killed is her way of honoring who he was to her and what he did for her without remaining beholden to him in any way.

Leon was the reason why Ada ultimately betrayed Wesker in the end, but it wasn't a matter of "Well, I love him now, so I'm going with him. Boy, bye." Ada says in Umbrella Chronicles that her meeting with Leon changed her, and she says at the start of Separate Ways that betraying Wesker is part of her own objective -- which, presumably, has to do with the way Leon changed her. It had to do with a change in worldview, not a change of heart.

And I think that what Remake is trying to do is to show that change in her happen in real-time. That's why she doesn't go into RE4make already intending to betray Wesker; it's a decision she comes to organically as a result of Leon's impact on her inspiring her to ask questions as to where her efforts are going.

She didn't betray Wesker because she fell in love with Leon. She betrayed Wesker because she started to look at the world differently and realized that Wesker's ambitions were incompatible with her new worldview. It wasn't personal -- it was just that their lives were now going in two different directions (two separate ways, you might say ayyyyyyy).

But I think that there will always be a part of Ada that's grateful to Wesker and holds some degree of affection for him -- even if it's not at the intensity of actual love, it was still meaningful, and he still had a profound impact on her life.

In some ways, I view Ada's attachment to Wesker the same way that I view Leon's attachment to Ada in the OG timeline. It's not true love, but it was something that kept her bound to him and that she found comfort in when she felt like she had nothing else and her life was spiraling out of control.

Ada is a part of Leon that he thinks he can't let go.

And I think that Wesker is a part of Ada that she thought she couldn't let go, until she finally did.

[yaccbs]

and at last, act 3 thoughts. there's a lot of them

lmao rip jayce who has to suffer through hell while heimer learns KEYTAR?? im sorry that's the funniest shit. like heimer is fully prepared to just live in Happy World forever, too bad so sad main universe

part of annihiliation-universe-jayce's fingers stay attached to the hammer when they give it to beard jayce. gross but cool detail. also liked how the record at the very beginning of the ep was ekko/powder instead of vi/jinx

i did enjoy AU ekko adventure overall, it's just too bad there wasn't more episodes because the whole time i was like this is coming at the cost of the main plot/real cast. exploding heimer was gross. silco and vander were even more gay. i like that benzo got some scenes. AU powder/ekko was cute

also the moment heimer disintegrated was the moment i went oh. so there is no plot armour after all for the LoL mains. which i had not expected tbh, so that nicely ratcheted up the suspense for me

it's weird to me cloaked-viktor revealed himself immediately to jayce only to disappear for like...weeks? months? years? while jayce ate raw salamander to survive? like could y'all not have had this conversation sooner

while vi gets to do a little bit more this arc and has some cool moments she still gets the most shafted imo. like having AU powder be the one to monologue about why vi fights was just...i would like to hear this coming from vi herself? her fight with caitlyn took all of 30 seconds. zero acknowledgement of her months of alcoholism. even her final scene with cait just she just seemed very passive and there's no bridge between her being devastated at losing jinx and vander vs how okay she seems at cait's house (and where she is once again drinking)

MEL. mel was so good man. without her everyone would have been truly fucked. i love that she also out-played shapeshifty black rose person. if the spinoff happens and features noxus i hope we shall see her again

although idk where exactly she was when it shows her walking outside but did she have to like...walk back to piltover? how long did that take. what was the timeline here

i really loved ambessa as a villain, and her fight with cait and mel was great. when the music kicks in as she walks up the steps i was like lets gooooo. i lowkey wanted her to survive somehow so she could go be evil in the maybe spinoff

loris' death sure would have been more impactful if he actually had like...done anything in act 2 to establish his character more lmao

honestly i wish maddie wasn't some secret agent, just makes it very convenient for the ex to be eeevil. however the line "i did appreciate your warmth" or whatever was so fucking savage lmao

i did not expect cait/vi to fuck in a prison cell of all places, but you get it ladies

poor skye gets to die not once but twice thanks to viktor science

i did not expect viktor/jayce to be so gay still at the end, but there ya go. not sure if dead or what but they sure are partners in apparently every universe!

"there are beauty in imperfections" no offense jayce but that's easy for you to say when you weren't the one with untreatable tuberculosis or whatever lmao

tbh didn't really need yet another vi/jink vs warwick fight. jinx also seemed to whiplash from extremely suicidal to "always with you sis". but nice musical callback to the suicide montage during her sacrifice at the end and the zero gravity thing was cool

not sure why exactly ekko didn't get rope-de-roped at the end like everyone else? was it just because he was unconscious at the perfect moment?

that said i get the vibe that cait at least thinks jinx survived based on the scene where she's scrolling through the archives

the only true winner of this whole series seems to be...singed. lmao

tldr i still had an absolute blast with the series as a whole, animation throughout was unquestionably gorgeous, i just wish characters hadn't suffered so much from too short a runtime. now i just need someone to write fanfic of all the missing scenes i have in my head so that i don't have to thanks

[my-beloved-lakes]

Eliot and the stray cat he said they weren't keeping. (Click for better quality)

(Ficlet below the cut)

Eliot glanced up from his book when he heard Parker come in, then did a double take.

She was standing in the doorway, holding a cat. It was scrawny and wet and covered in mud.

"Look what I found in the alley." She said, her voice was sad and sympathetic, but underneath that there was a hint of excitement. "She needs a home."

Oh no. Eliot thought.

"We are not keeping the cat, Parker." He said firmly.

"Woah, who put you in charge?" Hardison asked indignantly.

"We can't have a cat running around here." Eliot insisted. “Not with how often we’re out of town.”

Parker looked disappointed.

"We'd Give the damn thing abandonment issues." Eliot muttered under his breath

"Well, we can at least give her a bath and some food." Hardison said.

Eliot's expression softened.

"It can spend the night. We'll give it a blanket to sleep on and leave it in the bathroom where it can't get into anything." Eliot said. "I'll take it to the shelter tomorrow."

"Shelter's closed over the weekend. Won't open again till Monday." Hardison pointed out.

Eliot groaned. "So we're stuck with it for the next 3 days?"

"Yup." Hardison said smugly.

"What should we call her?" Parker asked.

"No. No. We're not naming it. It'll just make it harder to say goodbye when the time comes."

"Aww, come on, can't we keep her? She needs a home and family to love her." Parker insisted. "And just look how cute she is!"

"They'll find it a good home at the shelter." Eliot said.

"Well, I guess I better go to the store and get some cat chow so she can have something to eat while she's here." Hardison said. "You two can handle giving her a bath while I'm gone."

Eliot rolled his eyes and got up to help Parker clean the cat off.

"Get a wet washcloth." He said. "I'll hold it still while you get as much of the mud off as you can."

Parker gently handed the cat to Eliot and ran to the other room. The cat let out a quiet broken meow that was barely more than a squeak as she passed it to Eliot. It clung to Eliot's arm with its claws, and he could feel the thing trembling. He wondered if it was cold or just scared.

Parker came back a minute later with a washcloth soaked in warm water. Eliot held the cat out so Parker could wipe away  all the mud but after a while Eliot realized the washcloth wasn't going to be enough to get the cat clean. He sighed.

"It's gonna need a real bath." He said. “We’ll take it to the bathroom and do it in the tub.”

"She's not gonna like that." Parker pointed out.

The cat didn't mind nearly as much as Eliot expected. Or at least she didn't show it, maybe she was too exhausted or too scared to struggle. Her ears were pinned back in discomfort but she didn't put up a fight. She just sat in the tub, still clinging to Eliot's arm with her front paws as Parker rubbed soap into her fur. When Parker was done lathering the cat with soap Eliot helped rinse all the soap off, running his free hand over the cat's whole body as Parker poured warm water over it.

As Eliot ran his fingers through the cat's wet fur, he could feel scars. Most were old and long since healed up, but a few were more recent, still scabbed with blood.

"She's had a hard life, hasn't she." Parker said. "No family to love her, having to fight to survive."

"Yeah, seems like she has." Eliot said.

She's trying to guilt me into keeping it.

"She's old too." Parker pointed out. "Older animals are less likely to get adopted, you know."

Eliot sighed and shook his head.

I'm not going to let her guilt me into this. He told himself.

She was right though. The cat was old. Now that all the mud was gone, he could see that her face was covered in gray hairs.  The rest of her was a dusty brown color with tabby stripes. She was a cute cat, he had to admit. She reminded him of the cat he had as a kid.

Eliot shook his head.

Can't let myself get attached. He reminded himself.

He grabbed a dry towel and gently rubbed as much of the water off as he could. Then he set the cat down on the ground.

"Do we really have to lock her in here?" Parker asked.

"She can wander around the back rooms until we go to bed." Eliot said reluctantly. "As long as we keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't get into anything."

Parker's face lit up and she opened the bathroom door. No sooner had she done so, the cat scampered out of the bathroom into the livingroom and darted under the couch.

***

When Hardison got home, he found the cat wandering around, cautiously smelling everything. Parker was watching the cat intently and Eliot had his face in a book, paying no attention to the cat whatsoever, or at least pretending not to pay any attention. 

"So I see the cat isn't actually staying in the bathroom then." Hardison said with a sly smile. 

"She'll be put in there when we go to bed." Eliot said. "She's just hanging out out here while we can keep an eye on her."

Hardison smiled and poured a little food into the new bowl he had bought for the cat and when he looked up, he caught a dirty look from Eliot.

"What?"

"You bought the cat a new food bowl?"

"Yeah." Hardison shrugged.

"Damnit Hardison."

"She needs a dish!"

"The cat is not staying." Eliot insisted.

Hardison just rolled his eyes and set the bowl on the ground next to his feet.

The cat snuck cautiously up, but didn't come close enough to eat.

"Oops, excuse me little lady." Hardison said and backed away from the food bowl.

As soon as the cat decided Hardison was a safe distance away, she darted forward and began scarfing down the food, making happy little meows as she ate.

Parker and Hardison both chuckled at the muffled meows coming from the cat.

"I don't think I've ever heard a cat do that." Hardison mused.

I have. Once. Eliot thought, then quickly dismissed the thought.

As soon as the cat was done eating Parker tried to creep closer to pet her, but the cat darted away and sat down, wrapped her tail around her feet and stared at Parker.

"Aww it's okay little kitty." Parker promised. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

Parker sat down on the ground and scooted closer, but the cat moved away again.

"Parker, leave the cat alone." Eliot said without glancing up from his book. "She'll come to you when she's ready."

Parker reluctantly got up and settled herself on the couch between Eliot and Hardison.

***

Hardison stretched and yawned.

"Welp, I think it's time for me to get to bed." He said and got up from the couch. "Want me to put the cat up?" 

"Nah, I got it." Eliot shrugged.

"Okay, night night." Hardison said and made his way up the stairs.

Parker got up to follow him.

"Good night, Eliot." She said.

"G'night."

"I really want to keep the cat." Parker said as she climbed into bed next to Hardison.

"Oh babe, we're keeping the cat." Hardison said definitely.

"But Eliot was very clear that he doesn't want to keep her. I know he's not the boss of us, but I feel like we should respect his opinion, right?"

Hardison wrapped his arms around Parker and pulled her close.

"Parker let me let you in on a little secret that Eliot would probably kill me for telling you. He'd never admit it, but he loves that cat already. He's growing more and more attached to her every second. We just have to pretend like we don't notice it for a while, let him think he’s got us fooled. Before ya know it, he’ll cave and let us keep her."

Parker smiled and snuggled in closer to Hardison.

“I think we should call her Snickers.” Parker said

“I like Snickers.” hardison mumbled sleepily. “But don’t tell Eliot till he’s agreed to keep her.”

***

Parker woke up again in the middle of the night and wondered if Eliot was still awake. She carefully slipped out of Hardison’s arm and crept down the stairs. She found Eliot curled up, sound asleep on the couch. The cat was curled up in the curve of Eliot's stomach, nestled into a pile of blankets, purring loudly. 

So the cat’s not staying in the bathroom after all.

She smiled and crept back to the bedroom, nudged Hardison awake and motioned for him to follow her. Together they crept back to the living room.

Hardison chuckled quietly to himself when he saw Eliot asleep with the cat.

"What'd I tell you? He's in love with the cat already."

***

Monday rolled around, but Eliot didn’t seem to be in any hurry to take the cat to the shelter.

"Ya gonna take the cat today?" Hardison asked. 

He already knew the answer was no. Eliot was completely and thoroughly attached.

"If I find the time." Eliot shrugged. "Kinda busy today, though."

Hardison and Parker shot each other knowing smiles.

"Well, I can take her if you want." Hardison offered, knowing full well Eliot wouldn't accept it.

"No, I'll do it as soon as I'm not busy."

***

When evening rolled around the cat was still wandering around the back rooms of the brewpub, but Eliot's day had proven to be much less busy than he said. He had worked out a little, gone over the brewpub menu to make a few revisions and taken one client meeting, but all of that took less than half the day.

There should have been plenty of time to take the cat to the shelter. Hardison noted smugly to himself. But he doesn't want to say goodbye.

***

Tuesday really was a busy day. They spent the whole day planning, and executing a heist and by the time they got home, the shelter was closed for the evening.

Eliot grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and pressed it to his aching shoulder. Then he slumped down onto the couch with a sigh and leaned his head against the back, closing his eyes.

The fight he had with the security guards hadn't been particularly rough, but one of them had managed to wrench his shoulder pretty bad. he had popped a couple painkillers on the way home, but it was still aching.

He looked up when he heard a tiny squeak from the cat as she jumped onto the opposite end of the couch and made her way over to him.

The cat never seemed to meow properly. It always came out more like a raspy squeak, as if she had lost her voice. He was reminded once again of the cat he had as a kid, the only other cat he had ever known who had a meow like that.

She rubbed her head against his leg and walked in circles across his lap a few times before laying down and curling up on his lap, purring softly. Eliot scratched behind her ears, and she started purring louder.

Damnit. He thought. She's not going anywhere, is she? We're stuck with her now.

***

Wednesday morning, Eliot woke to find the cat wasn't asleep next to him like she had been when he fell asleep. He got up and wandered into the next room where he  found Parker, but the cat wasn't there. Neither was Hardison.

"Where's Hardison?" Eliot asked.

"Oh, He figured since we’re keeping the cat, it was probably time to take her to the vet and get her checked up. Ya know, make sure she doesn't have any illnesses or anything we need to know about. The only available time they had was first thing in the morning."

"Woah, we never agreed to keep..." Eliot trailed off and gave in, shaking his head. "Well make sure he knows to get a litter box while he's out."

Parker smiled and nodded.

"Damn cat." Eliot muttered fondly to himself as he set to work making breakfast.

“Also, we’re calling her Snickers.” Parker added.

Eliot smiled. He liked that name, mostly because Parker was the one who came up with it, but he liked it all the same.

[ultra-rockart]

I have a problem with the Ahsoka series...

As someone who didn't watch Rebels and just getting back to Star Wars after being out of the fandom, episode 5 left me kinda flat...

WARNING: SPOILERS TO JEDI FALLEN ORDER AND AHSOKA EPISODE 5

Anyone who plays Jedi Fallen Order will immediately realize that the scene is a mirror of Cal and Jaro's 2nd vision duel. In fact, there were major Fallen Order vibes all throughout this episode and other episodes including all that psychometry (which Ahsoka has never demonstrated before this series but hey... the power of retcon compelled Dave Filoni).

But why did Ahsoka vs Anakin feel so flat for me? What should have been an emotional scene didn't hit me with the same feels that Fallen Order did.

And I got to thinking...

In Fallen Order, we first meet Cal and from the get-go we understand that this is a kid who's had to live on his own for a long time. He doesn't really think that much of himself--as evident by his "Trash, just not approved trash" comment. 

Fallen Order and Survivor have been brilliant, character-driven games that really delved into issues of trauma, survivor's guilt, PTSD, insecurity, and loss of self-worth. 

We learn that Cal survived Order 66 when he was just 13.

And that his master sacrificed his life to save him. And we soon realize that Cal has remained trapped--emotionally and psychologically--that day he escaped clutching his fallen master's lightsaber in fear and helplessness. The fear became a means to survive--a coping mechanism.

When Cal first meets a vision of his master, Jaro Tapal, it's on Dathomir. The vault is booby trapped to test anyone who dare enter. He's faced with a vision of his fallen master and is overwhelmed with his own failures and breaks his lightsaber.

Through Cere's urging and guidance, Cal travels to Ilum to retrieve his crystal and rebuild his lightsaber.

There, he is tested and he faces his failures and shortcomings. He learns to forgive himself and face the past head on. He returns to Dathomir and back to face his master. 

What was the lesson in Cal facing Jaro? The lesson was forgiving himself of what happened. Of learning to trust that 13-yr-old child within. Jaro's sacrifice will always be a part of him but he also needs to move forward with the lessons he's learned. As long as Cal is alive, he has a choice to keep fighting--"Hold the line, and trust only in the Force."

It's a classic heroes journey.

The Anakin vs Ahsoka scene is similar in a lot of ways. But I found myself not having the same reaction.

If I watch that Fallen Order scene, I'm always moved to tears because in the hours I spent playing as him, I lived all of his failures, his fears, his emotions--I was Cal Kestis. I was that 13-yr old boy who emotionally shut down to the point that he lost his connection to the Force.

Fallen Order took the time to establish that Cal had been dealing with the guilt of not doing enough to save his master for the last 5 years. It took the time to lay the groundwork so the emotional beats really hit you in the feels in moments when they should.

My problem with the Ahsoka series is it breaks a fundamental rule in storytelling--Don't assume anything about your audience. A good chunk of that audience never saw Rebels. So, a good chunk of us were asking ourselves, "huh, so what exactly was the lesson here?"

In Ahsoka, we're never shown what her attachments to Anakin are. Is she a Padawan feeling abandoned by her master? Does she feel betrayed? What exactly is that baggage that she needs to move on from?

We get none of that because the series doesn't do enough character work to make her struggles known to the audience beforehand. Unless you watched Rebels, you'd have no clue nor feel the significance of the scene. What we get is her looking forlorn at any mention of Anakin. They just expect us to understand that she has unfinished business with him. What that is... it's never clear in the dialogue. So when we have a vision of her facing her master, it doesn't have the same emotional punch in the feels that Fallen Order has (unless you saw the animated series).

So her lesson was to live? Did we see her struggling with her purpose before this scene? No. Did we see her doubt herself and her place in the Order (in or out of it)? No. Do we see her still yearn for the past and what would have been her place in the Order but struggle with their betrayal? No. The message is jumbled, the lesson is vague because the show didn't do the work it needed to to earn that emotional payoff.

The one thing I loved was the visuals. Cinematography in this episode was breathtaking but it sacrifices storytelling over fan service and nostalgia.

Collider put it bluntly, "Ahsoka’s “training” stands in the place of actual storytelling. By driving Ahsoka and Anakin straight into a duel, we’re robbed of dialogue and character moments that could heighten the story that Filoni is attempting to tell. Filoni mistakenly believes that what audiences have been longing for is another poorly lit lightsaber duel — only this time between Anakin and Ahsoka — but that isn’t what anyone has been pining for. Especially not casual fans who know who Anakin is, but have no concept of why this duel with Ahsoka should matter to them... Star Wars is more than just lightsaber duels and resurrecting the Skywalkers for drama. It’s about the connections forged between the characters who are thrown into situations, cast against the backdrop of a galaxy at war, both seen and unseen. Those connections feel hollow when left to molder in the shadow of nostalgia."

Jedi Fallen Order and Survivor work from a storytelling perspective because they made us care about these characters. They built connections to Cere, to Jaro, to BD-1 and the rest of the Mantis crew and how they play a significant part in Cal's growth as a person and Jedi. And likewise, how Cal plays a part in each character's journey to self-actualization.

The more I think about the episode 5 scene the more pointless it felt (for lack of a better word) because this happens 5 years after Return of the Jedi... the part where Anakin was saved by Luke. She's also met and spoken to Luke so would know that Anakin was saved in the end. 

So unless this is just Ahsoka sorting out her own issues of abandonment or whatever inside her head... it doesn't make sense for Anakin or the overall story. He was already saved. He went back to the light side after defeating Palpatine. Luke was able to do what no one else did. Or did she resent that or hate herself that it wasn't her that brought him back to the light? The problem is the show doesn't make it clear what her attachments to Anakin are. If it had spared a few episodes looking back at her training, Anakin's betrayal and her feelings of abandonment, it would have felt like a more full circle moment. If the show had taken the time to portray her going about her life without reason or purpose, the lesson would have meant something. The dialogue doesn't do the visuals justice. It's purposely vague and cryptic because the show doesn't know what Ahsoka ought to be struggling with. She has baggage but what that is they don't even know. So the visuals try to cover for the lack of any compelling dialogue.

We didn't need a duel or callbacks to Vader or Rebels. What we needed was to see was the same Anakin at the end of Return of the Jedi-- the same Anakin that was saved and made whole. We needed a conversation, not cryptic lessons--a conversation about why he lost himself, Luke and Leia's place in his life and salvation, and a reassurance to Ahsoka that she couldn't have prevented his fall from grace because he made the choice to fall to the Dark Side. Anakin alone made the choice and paid for his sins. That conversation would have brought more closure than "I choose to live."

It felt like the writers went "This would be such a cool scene to have" and "What would happen to get there?" Rather than have everything matter and happen organically to the overall story. By doing that, Ahsoka suffers the same problems as the sequels.

Fan service should serve as a purpose to further enrich your story. And your story should be clear to everyone not just a niche of your audience. A good story, no matter how simple it is, should stand on its own merit. Good character work and set up matters.

Just my 2 cents.

[wakanai]

Happy Birthday to My Beloved Blorbo, Oda Sakunosuke! 🎉

AAAAAAA

he's so beautiful I can't-

(long post ahead)

this is the guy who

used to be an assassin at age 14

quit his job after reading a book and meeting its author (asagiri behavior btw - the 'left his job cause he wanted to write' part lol)

saw an injured dazai and brought him in his house (lit the equivalent of seeing a random injured criminal and knowingly bringing him into your house lol)

wrapped dazai in a blanket, trapped him in his house until he recovered safely

reacted to dazai's unhinged behavior and threats with an 'oh okay' attitude (unironically btw. he's really just like that TT)

was strong enough to be mistaken for a WHOLE organization

no one even had clues that it was him TT

made dazai embarrassed

“Of course, you would be wary of the switch. So, I had to distract you by conversation.”

“So, the games and the flow of conversation till now, were both according to your plan, you mean?”

“Hehe. Saying important things as a camouflage to get what you want. That is the basis of the negotiation technique.”

I ask as I organize the cards, “Which is camouflage of which?”

Dazai's expression turns blank for a second, as if he has been caught off guard. But it is only for a moment. He turns his head to the side to hide his expression and smiles. If I am not wrong, there is an embarrassed expression on his face. It is under the dark lighting of the bar, so I might have been mistaken though.

-- The Day I Picked Up Dazai (TDIPUD) (translation by @popopretty; you can find it in her tags i think)

^^ LOL. Oda 'I might have been mistaken' Sakunosuke (this is the guy who understood Dazai the most)

had a conversation with Shibusawa in Dead Apple and wasn't killed - in fact, Shibasawa even wanted to talk to him again if he had the chance (Oda TT he's got that 'I attract mentally unstable people and fix them' rizz lmao. Fyodor, take down notes).

did not expect Dazai to ask for a second meeting:

Dazai’s wounds have already crossed the most critical time. Just leave them like that and they will heal on their owns. My role here is over. So is our relationship.

Dazai nods and takes the cards from me. Then in a casual tone, he says those words.

“When are we meeting next?”

I stop what I am doing and look at Dazai.

-- TDIPUD

(Oda really said 'no' to attachment issues SAJDIAFJ. he's the kind of wonderful guy you meet once online and feel sad cause you can't find them again TT)

was the lowest ranking member in the mafia (and he slayed it too. did the jobs no one else wanted ugh)

despite the typical black-suit-shades look that low ranking mafiosos wore, Oda wore a BRIGHT COLORED, beige cream coat (do yall realize how much this must have made him stand out?? in a pool full of black - he stood out. Also the fact that mafiosos wear black so that blood isn't visible when it stains -- but Oda DECIDED TO STOP killing people hence why he didn't need to wear black. UgH such an icon ✨.)

survived the Dragon Heads Conflict (obviously 🙄)

adopted 5 orphans from that conflict

supported them financially, visited them on weekends, left them under the care of the curry-shop owner, connected w them!!!

managed a few shops for the mafia (reread Dark Era if you missed this detail; p. 94)

listener friend; listened to Dazai's antics and took them seriously (I bet he's the type who never forgets any minor detail their friend tells him)

joined in Dazai's chaos and hugged and tickled Ango (sibling behavior lol. Oda's just as chaotic - only difference is he does it with a straight face 😭 if Oda was in the ADA, Kunikida would grow white hair LOL. Imagine the chaos he and Dazai would bring TT - plus Dazai would be 10x happier. friendly reminder that Dazai gave Ango and Oda drugged food and when he offered to cook again, Oda's response was 'If it keeps you from getting tired, then it might be pretty useful before a hard day's work' like BRUH elfeofk.)

this isn't noticeable at first but despite always seeing himself as less than Dazai cause of their rank, Oda literally called Dazai by his name in front of the other mafia members (and no - he didn't even consciously think about it 😭). Imagine being a random mafioso and suddenly you see the lowest ranking member call an executive informally. like??? Oda's co-workers would call Dazai 'Dazai-san' while Oda be out there speaking casually like 'hey dude.' It's funny cause Oda is dense so he prob didn't even think of 'Office Codes' (yk the typical social rules where if ur friends w ur boss u call them formally at work? yea. Oda does not care LOL.)

He has good intuition

[Then I looked myself in my room and cycled through my thoughts [...] I listened only to my heartbeat as I observed the emotions bubbling up from within me like foam. I had a feeling something would happen[...]it was the small tinge everyone gets before something's about to happen. But realistically, there was virtually nothing I could do about it until it actually occurred and slapped me in the face. The world isn't kind. You have to be tough.] << relatable.

He sassed Mori HELP 😂😭

"At any rate, you just got here. You did not see a thing. Understand?"

"Yes, sir." I nodded in agreement. [...] "I only just arrived. Thank you for taking a break from undressing a young girl and chasing her around the room for me. So what was it you needed me for?"

The boss pinched his brows together for a few moments to think before nodding as if he had made up his mind. -- The Dark Era

He can see into the future

this is honestly a cool ability with so much potential. I'm going to promote this post by @raaanpo because why not. it's cool. :)

Such a caring friend (he gave Ango the benefit of the doubt, was crushed at the betrayal, and the way he thinks about dazai i cant- TT)

I already knew what Dazai was trying to say and what his intentions were and yet I had no choice but to scrutinize his every word to find some sort of silver lining.

"Maybe Ango really was lying but he's an informant who deals with top-secret information on the Mafia. It's only natural he'd have a secret meeting or two. You can't blame him for that"

-- p.46, Dark Era (DE)

**

"Hey Dazai" [...] "Is there any possibility that someone framed Ango and is pulling the strings from behind the scenes?" -- p.61, DE

**

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ango turn his back to me before leaving with the Special Forces. [...] My tongue numb, I called out to Ango as he left, but even I didn't know what I was saying. An indescribable feeling of loneliness was the only thing filling my heart...as if I were floating at the end of the universe. Even that was swallowed by darkness. My consciousness faded to black. -- p.90, DE

**

"Dazai, stop" I begged in a hushed tone. [...]

"Dazai!" I screamed. I felt as though we were thousands of miles apart. [...]

"Sorry to shock you like that" (&lt;< dazai's the one speaking here btw) [...]

Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would have punched him right then. (note: this reminds me of when Fukuzawa slapped Ranpo TT) However, I am me and there was nothing I could do to him.

After returning my gun to its holster, I turned my back to Dazai and began walking away. With every step I took, I felt as if the ground were going to collapse, creating a bottomless hole that I would fall through for an eternity. Dazai's expression as he placed his finger on his forehead and approached the enemy-- that of a child about to burse into tears--remained burned into my eyes. -- chap 1, DE

^^ it's giving friend-who-knows-you're-depressed-but-waits-for-you-to-tell-them energy like 😭😭bruh Oda knew. he knew dazai was depressed but he didn't push him about it. he just listened to any of dazai's ramblings and was there for him. ugh. Oda TT

also oda and ango :")

Ango looked at us and continued, "If there ever comes a time when the Division and the Mafia no longer exist...if we're ever freed from the confines of our work...do you think we can drink here again like this?"

"Don't say any more, Ango" a voice said nearby. It was my voice. "Just don't." [...]

I figured that was probably the last time I would ever see him.

(I still maintain the belief that Oda only said this because he knew the tensions were high and Dazai literally just threatened to torture and kill Ango moments ago. That last line hurts, man.)

Insecure king

(despite being a powerful ex assassin and supporting 5 kids - my goodness does Oda have insecurity issues :") )

These are just some scenes of Oda not realizing what a king he is 😭

This was Dazai though; he was probably just talking out of his ass. A man in his twenties isn't going to be much of a balm for anyone's soul. -- p.17, DE

(help why does this sound so funny 😂)

I nodded. Dazai was always right and I was always doing the wrong thing. -- p.40, DE

"Maybe I should recruit them.." Dazai smirked while wiping his sweat. "I heard all about it, Odasaku. You're raising five kids, huh? And not only that, they're orphans from the Dragon Head's Conflict."

Even if I'd tried to hide it, Dazai would've been able to figure it out with just half a day's worth of research. -- p.56, DE

(says the guy who managed to hide the painting without anyone knowing. Ngl Dazai was kind of being a dick here TT).

Even if I took Ango's side there, nothing would change. (note: oda sweetie, you're starting to act like Dazai TT.) There was no way to break out of Dazai's trap around the bar's perimeter and the children would be killed if I betrayed the Mafia. --p.119, DE

^^ see what I'm talking about? tensions were high. it's not like Oda hated Ango. He just didn't want to escalate the situation. And plus, Oda's never been a false-hope type of guy. So when he rejected Ango's wish, it doesn't mean he hates him or doesn't want to be friends anymore. he's just protecting himself from getting his hopes up and being realistic. On another note, I think being in the Mafia def affected Oda negatively. He was much more confident in TDIPD. :(

Lost king

After getting into the car, I recklessly hightailed it to the office. I don't really remember much about what happened along the way; I might've driven down the three-lane highway in the wrong direction two or three times. -- chap 1, DE

If someone were to peer inside my mind at that moment, they would've witnessed something akin to a massive volcanic eruption. Countless question marks would have been blasting out of the crater, blanketing the sky in its entirety. And yet, the only visible reaction I had was a twitch of a finger. -- p.18, DE

I ended up standing in front of the son and introducing myself. As “the person who killed your father.” There was no word that could describe how angry the son was. He had all the rights to be angry. [...] He was hitting me, throwing stuff at me, and attacking me with all sorts of insults. I could easily dodge all of his attacks, but there was no way to avoid the insults.

When he became exhausted from all the rampage and finally sat down, I explained to him about the killing. After that, he demanded a compensation. For his father’s life, and for the rental fee of that book I took without permission. -- TDIPD

(bruh. Oda's wildin 😭 pulled up at the front door and said 'yeah I killed your father' like DJFWEIJF. If Oda became an author, he would def be openly weird like the author of chainsaw man and he'd be the type to share life lore w his fans despite it being illegal😭:

'Oda! I'm a big fan! I have a question. Did you ever kill a person? Why is your writing so good at capturing that stuff?'

I'm willing to bet good money he would actually answer that question honestly.

RBF king

I was sure I looked even grumpier than usual [...] I wasn't actually in a bad mood though. It was merely a problem of balance because my hands were full [...]. You'd need a little training to carry these with a smile. -- p.121, DE

('you'd need a little training to carry these with a smile.' << it's giving uncle vibes 😭)

Writer's block king

"Because there's only one story I want to write, and it's in here." I tapped my temple. "Unfortunately, I don't have the necessary tools or skills to bring this story to life. I feel like a lost mountaineer standing before the tallest, most sacred mountain in the world with just a single, tiny ax" -- BEAST LN

(Oda stop being so relatable...)

Was a good mentor to Akutagawa in BEAST LN (lit trained him, was okay w his antics, and was willing to go against the Mafia for him. Dazai who? Akutagawa was WAY more stable with Oda as his mentor 😭)

"How are you earning enough to take care of them?" (<< Aku asking)

"That's a secret." Oda let out a faint, almost inaudible laugh.

**

What I needed to do now, however, was worry about the new recruit, since he was a hundred times more messed up in the head than me.

**

Dazai walked over with a faint, indecipherable smile. "I've been training Atsushi for four and a half years, yet you beat him. It's hard to believe..." (uhm duh. that's cause he was trained by Oda 🙄💅who doesn't abuse his students unlike y-)

**

"Akutagawa, it was actually Oda who obtained this video," said Tanizaki who was seated. "Even with Ranpo's Super Deduction and Oda's extraordinary skill, Flawless [...], it took them three whole days to sneak into the secret facility and steal the footage. That just shows you how extremely dangerous the mission was and how hard it was to get this information."

That was when it hit Akutagawa. He had just recently been asked to watch over the orphans for three days while Oda was out of town on business.

ugH. KING behavior 😩👑

He's read the Bible

"John 12:24. You're surprisingly well read, Sakunosuke." --p.144, DE

^^ imagine if he and Fyodor had a conversation. that would be p. interesting.

was kind to the curry shop owner (ill elaborate later cause im so sleepy rn)

--- and so much more. I actually have a whole fanfic in my head of Oda TT (and that Oda is a lot different from the one in canon but is based off of him. yeah...I like Oda if u couldn't alr tell.😭)

I urge yall to please read Dark Era and The Day I Picked Up Dazai. It captures his character way more than the anime.

To end this post, I want to give tribute to the IRL! Oda Sakunosuke cause that's who the bsd character is based from and Oct 26 is his actual birthday 😸

About the Real Oda:

List of some of his works:

Thank youu 🥳

I hope this post encourages more oda love lol. he's such a king. 💅

tagging @carbonateds-oda because I need someone to share my unhinged Oda thoughts too 😭😩

(feel free to ignore btw or lmk if it bothers u. i feel like ive been too interactive lately TT)

anywy, happy birthday odasaku! 🥳🥳👑

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Mayuri Kurotsuchi (Bleach) - Chapter 4

"(Y/N)-san, are you alright?"

You sent a thumbs up at Nemu.

"Hai!!"

You were grinning despite your tattered robes and the clear bruises are over your body. When Mayuri stepped into the room he gave you one look.

"What is the meaning of this!"

You were still beaming.

"I'm here for my check up, Kurotsuchi-taicho."

There were literal flowers blooming around your body which was a complete contrast to your appearance.

"I can't conduct the proper experiments when you're in such a horrendous state. Come with me."

"Hai!!"

You followed behind him with a pep in your step and Nemu just watched with a small smile.

Maybe your elation is due to your new reassignment. You never thought you'd be this happy, even though you're clearly hurt from a mission that you've just returned from. It is obvious that you should have gone straight to the fourth squad, but you'd reported in here first.

"What a nuisance." Mayuri muttered.

Your eyes lit up when he sat you down and his hands began to glow that familiar emerald light.

"Kurotsuchi-taicho, I didn't know you could do healing kidos."

"Of course, I'm not some low level imbecile. Sit still." He ordered.

You obeyed, still wearing a happy grin.

"I'll assume that you are happy to be back out in the field. It would explain your clear reckless behavior. If you get mangled then all my precious research would be for nothing."

You could understand that.

"Gomen, I'll be more careful."

Your sunshine energy was really starting to become a frequent thing. Mayuri glanced at your face. When he looks at you he's reminded of how defeated you were when these experiments first started. He really shouldn't care if you're happy or not. However, he can't deny that he prefers this look on your face.

Not that he cares.

Of course he doesn't.

It's ridiculous to even suggest that.

"Despite the clear injuries her wounds are healing faster than expected."

Mayuri isn't ignorant to your power, everyday there seems to be something else he learns. Information that he can implement for future reference. Given how many wars they have survived, it always paid off to be careful.

He finished fairly quickly, and the moment you realized you turned to him with a salute.

"Arigatou! So what crazy experiments do you have planned today?"

He was still looking at you a bit inquisitively and you blink. It's rare to see him space out like this.

"Kurotsuchi-taicho?"

He finally lowers his hand, bending over and leaning closer slightly. You flush at the lack of distance.

"W-What's wrong?"

Mayuri squints.

"Are you in any pain?"

You shook your head.

"No, I feel fine. You just healed me didn't you?"

"I did, but before that, were you in pain?"

He finally straightens, folding his arms and you hum.

"I guess not. I got tossed around a few times because I let my guard down, but other than the initial hit it didn't really hurt. Rukia kept insisting that I see Hanataro but I really am fine."

He taps his finger on his arm.

"You are quite the specimen. Your body seems to have adapted quite nicely. By shattering your blade that day, your reiatsu may have reinforced your power. In a lot of ways you should be thanking me." He boasts.

You light up, jumping to your feet as you grab his hands.

"Arigatou Kurotsuchi-taicho!"

This smile is as bright as the first and Mayuri frowns.

"You're very simpleminded aren't you?"

"Compared to you, definitely."

Most people would not readily agree to that clear insult. You release his hand, and he finds his eyes following them.

The warmth that once encompassed his usually cold palms.

It's irritating how those little gestures seem to be intruding his thoughts lately. He has never viewed any of his experiments as more than that. Nemu was quite honestly the only one he had any attachment to.

But Nemu is different.

This is different.

"How infuriating."

His statement confuses you.

"Is something wrong?" you question.

Mayuri just turns.

"Come, we need to continue with the tests."

"Ah, hai, hai!!"

You follow obediently.

He needs to be careful.

He's afraid he might end up acting on these impulses. 

[armpirate]

UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 9

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

She doesn't live in one of the best areas of New York, but it's not the worst one I've been in either. Although this building... It looks like it might fall down at any point.

The cracking sound of the door draws my attention back to Y/n, finding her fighting to open the door. Her left hand twists the key, while the right one keeps pulling from the door until it finally opens. That sudden move almost made her fall to her back -and I say almost because I hold her by her arm before she's able to stumble enough to fall.

When she's aware of my hold, she hawks and moves her arm away cautiously.

—You do this every time you go in? —I look at her surprised— Last week I thought you were just so mad and frustrated you fought with the first thing you found.

—It'd be easier if we could fix it. But most of us earn just enough to survive every month.

I understand what she is trying to say. I guess that, if they're living here, it is because they can't really afford a lot more than enough to survive. But it still doesn't take away the fact that living like this is a headache. What if one day that trick doesn't work out and she's just stuck outside?

Sooner or later, they'll have to repair that door. Either it'll be by choice or they'll be forced to do it.

—Lift or stairs?

—It depends —I put my hands in the pockets of my cargo pants.

—I live on the fourth floor.

After driving for more than four hours, only stopping to get some gast? Yeah... no.

With no need to say a word, I lift my hand and point to the closed metallic lift. And if the door problem was something to worry about, the elevator only makes me concerned for her safety and genuinely makes me ask myself if she actually dares to go up and down on this thing. Being able to see the wires in charge to move this box up and down the building, the flickering lights giving the best horror movie environment and the buttons that Y/n almost had to punch to get this thing to move? She shouldn't be living in these conditions.

—Welcome to my humble home —she informs me after opening her door.

The big contrast is mind-blowing.

Opposed to the unkempt building, her house is tidy and cozy. And that floral scent that welcomes me as soon as I step inside only makes it even better. Everything just sticks together. There's a lot of white, gray and pastel colors -which is something I'd have never related to her if I had had the chance to guess.

Somewhere across the room, I see a similar turntable I have at home, and it seems like she has a big collection by the big amount of vinyls displayed on the small shelf next to it.

—Oh —I point to the old turntable in the living room corner—, I have the same model.

Pathetic way to try to start a conversation with her right now. I'll give myself that.

—It was my grandma's —she shrugs—. I also have a collection of all the vinyls she bought —she points to that same shelving, that's as tall as the furniture where the turntable is lying on.

Pressing my lips together, and aware of the grimace expression I've made, I simply nod and keep looking around, trying to find something to talk about. Or more like trying to find something that could give me a hint about who she actually is.

—Do you want something to drink?

—I'm fine.

I walk around, looking at all the details and seeing some pictures displayed on the furniture near the entrance door. A more innocent and smiley Y/n appears in one of the pictures, next to an old woman.

—So, are you going to rate my house?

And there she goes. Peace lasted way too long.

—Will you still play the enigmatic and interesting role? —I turn to her— You were about to set some rules.

—About that...

It doesn't take me long to guess she didn't think about anything, and probably she was sure she'd be able to come up with something while I was here.

—You didn't think of anything —I finish and think of the most important rule—. Then let me start: let's stop bitching at each other. Let's move on from that.

Whatever happened between us, needs to stop. We're both grown ups to still be bickering and fighting because of a misunderstanding three weeks ago.

Time to let that shit go if we're doing this.

—Two: Limits —she continues—. I want to set the pace of whatever this will be.

Which makes total sense.

—Of course —I let my body fall on the couch—. Three: Communication. If you don't feel comfortable with something, or you think you aren't ready, I need you to tell me. I will stop and I will mold to you. Like... If you don't feel like talking with a dude, or do something in bed with me, it's fine. We are here for that, so no need to rush it.

She crosses her arms on her chest, keeping her eyes on me as I sit comfortably on her sofa, as if I had been here more times than I could count them.

—Four: We can't tell anyone —she points a finger at me, as if she were warning me—. Let's keep it between us and as low key as possible.

—They'll think it's weird we get on well out of nowhere.

—As if they'll care that much about it. I'm sure they have more things to think about rather than you and me, and our childish fights —she interrupts me—. Doubt they'll notice.

I tilt my head, accepting her proposal.

—Five: No jealousy.

She cackles at my idea, which makes me frown.

She's laughing now, but at some point it'll happen -and probably it'll be from her side. It's good to set some things straight before we get into business.

—Okay, fine. I'll try not to fall for you. And I'll try not to fight every girl that drools for you. Alright?

Rolling my eyes, I decide it's a good idea to write all of this down. So as I try to remember everything we settled for now, I typed them on the phone.

—We need to write down all of this —I justifies myself—. I'll send you a screenshot when we're done. Your number, by the way? —I look up to her, and huffing, she finally gives me her phone number—. Six: You can't go out with the same dude more than once.

She huffs again, and I'm seeing every intention to protest against it. But I stop her before she's able to.

—You need to hang out with different guys to be able to get all the skills you need.

—Or more like you won't be able to enjoy your part of the deal if I fall for someone.

Oh... she really thinks I haven't thought about that.

—Let me get there —I type the rule on my phone before I say it out loud, sitting carelessly and resting my back on the backrest—. Seven: You can't fuck anyone. At least not until I do it first.

That sassy smile slowly vanishes away when I speak up about my idea.

What did she expect? Me getting her ready to be with a random guy, just for them to get a reward of all my hard work? That's not fair.

—You're kidding, right?

I shake my head, playing with my fingers on my lap as I let my phone rest on my thigh.

—It's a transaction, that's what the deal is about —I continue—. This is your part of it.

—And what if I like someone and I want him to be the first time?

—That's exactly why the sixth rule exists —I smirk—. I want to be the owner of all your first times, Y/n. I'll be working for it, and build you up to be ready for it.

And being the first one to taste her and feel her, after the big challenge she's been, is the best reward I could think of right now.

Moving my phone to the side of the couch, I reach for her hand, guiding her to move closer to me so she ends up standing in between my thighs. Both of my hands bring her closer by pushing her from the backside of her thighs, something that cuts her breathing momentarily as I try to place her on top of me, straddling my lap. My hands move up, until they both cup her hips over her gym pants.

—If I can't fuck with other guys —she whispers—, you can't fuck other girls.

—You want exclusiveness?

—No, fairness —she corrects me—. This is our deal, remember?

And I think it's a fair rule.

—Rule number eight: My release is yours —I rub my lips against hers.

—And my first times are yours —she finishes under her breath.

I move my hands over her body, delighting myself with being allowed to touch her this way after thinking about it for so long, deprived and forced to look at her from the distance.

I trace her jaw with my fingertips, moving up to her face to place one of her locks behind her ear. A route that my lips follow, from her lips, to her jaw, until they reach her earlobe. I can feel her fast paced heartbeat against my mouth as I travel over her skin, and I'm convinced she likes it when her mouth lets out a heavy breath as soon as my teeth get in contact with the spongy part of her earlobe.

Still holding her with my left hand on her neck, I reach the phone and manage -hardly- to type the rest of the rules down on the notes. I can see her eagerness and impatience whenever my eyes go up to her. And I know she's totally done when both of her hands rest on both sides of my head, as she tries to bend closer to my neck to be the one teasing me. But I move faster. I throw my phone somewhere on the couch, and cup her face with both of my hands again just to redirect her lips to mine before she can even think of being in contact with my neck.

Her lips are a bit clumsy at first, finding it difficult to follow my moves. But damn, don't they feel soft and addictive. Slowly, she catches the pace and encourages herself to directly touch me, making it hard for me not to groan when her cold fingers lie directly on the exposed skin of my neck.

She opens her mouth a bit wider, letting my tongue dig in her cave. That first touch with her tongue, mixed with the taste of her spit is making my brain go places it shouldn't go to right now. She gasps when I twirl my tongue around hers, and I can't help but grin at that reaction.

It really is making it difficult for me to hold back everything I want to do right now.

—Is this your first kiss? —I ask, breaking up the kiss.

She doesn't answer straight away, instead... I kind of feel bad for making that question when she frowns, and looks at me concerned.

—Was it that bad?

I move my thumb on her cheek. It was obvious she's inexperienced, but not in a bad way. If I hadn't broken up the kiss, I'm sure I'd be hard like a rock in my pants.

—Not at all, and that's dangerous.

Stopping myself before it's too late, I lift her up and let her rest back on the couch. She's confused, probably expecting more from this first time than just a kiss.

—You're leaving? That's not fair, you're such a teas...

—I'm leaving —I start walking to the door—. Now we're in a tie.

Of course mentioning what happened in the studio is way better than saying I'm so turned on, I'd probably would be ready to fuck her just with a kiss.

She doesn't need to know that.

—Anyway, this was an introduction of how it'll go between us from now on —I make a small pause—, cocktease.

—Stop calling me that —she warns me.

Oh, if she only knew she's only encouraging me to use that as her nickname from now on. The more she hates it, the more I'll use it.

—Okay —I sigh—, cocktease.

I rush to close the door of the apartment as soon as I see her taking her shoe off and see it fly across the room. Although I'm fast enough so I just hear it collide against the door.

Smirking again, I take my phone out and see her contact. On her name, where she wrote "Y/n", I edit it just to write "Cocktease".

It'd have been better if she had just ignored it.

[leviathanverse]

Chapter 31: Sirensong's Return

" Don't hurt her... she is only fighting to survive..."

I only laughed, flapping my feathered wings. However, Sekido decided to be an ass and hit me on the head.

" Don't be an idiot. Listen to Zoha's human."

" But where is the fun in that?"

I heard the dragon snarl and turned my gaze, seeing how two humans got the muzzle off before getting out.

I laughed and took off, heading for the dragon. It was half my size, and looked extremely weak.

But I was surprised when the dragon screeched and jumped onto the chains above.

I looked up, and saw it look at the hunters. I didn't think about it and went in for the kill. The dragon reacted and moved out of the way.

" FIGHT OR THE EGGS GO!"

Eggs?! I turned to look at where the dragon had looked. I felt a snarl form in my throat when I saw 4 beautiful white-blue eggs.

A man had a sledgehammer ready. As if to crush the eggs. I didn't like it. Not one bit. I looked at the dragon and turned to look at my brothers.

" She's being used to fight!"

" What do you mean?"

"She's just fighting!"

" They have her eggs! There is a sledgehammer ready to crush them if she doesn't fight!"

The dragon attacked, biting my neck with what little strength she had. I reacted and swiped my talons at her face.

She let go and immediately went to tend her wound I gave her. I pinned her, and looked at the men.

I widened my eyes when they held the sledgehammer above her eggs, getting ready to crush them. I felt my throat get filled with energy and used my screech on them.

" You couldn't have done that sooner?!"

" The dragon! She's not moving!"

I looked back at the female under my talon, seeing her eyes stare at me. She closed her eyes and lowered it back on the ground.

Was... was she expecting me to end it? After I saw that she was trying to protect her eggs? I heard the crowd boo at me when I let her go.

" Boo! Kill it!"

" Finish it!"

" This is lame!"

I snarled at the crowd while Zoha and my other brothers came out. I looked back at the dragon and saw her injury not healing.

" Kill the fucking dragon!"

" You have no right to tell them what to do! They are sentient creatures! You people are disgusting!"

" FUCK YOU!"

" NO! YOU NEED TO FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT THEY ARE LIKE US, YOU PIECE OF SHITS!"

I looked at Zoha's human, and holy fuck were they pissed. I couldn't even think of words to describe their fury.

The dragon underneath me hissed at them and I instinctively growled back at them. The smaller dragon backed off and jumped to the ledge where her eggs were.

" And I thought I was broody."

" Hey! We need them to get out of here!"

" Don't deny it. You became attached~"

" Karaku! You're not helping!"

" Oh come on! Don't be in denial!"

I huffed before going to where the female was. She turned to look at me, and instantly snarled.

" Stay away from my eggs!"

" I am not after your eggs?"

" Lies! Don't come any closer! I'll fight you if I have to!"

" Mama dragon, calm down! Please? You are only stressing out your body more than needed..."

I look at the ground, and saw... Zika?! I felt my chest swell with joy! The little precious gem had woken up!

I wanted to purr, bit remembered our situation when a tomato was thrown at my face.

I didn't know why, but I had the urge to make a distress call. Before I could stop myself, I made a distress call so loud that it surprised my brothers and I.

" Holy shit- WHY DID YOU MAKE A DISTRESS CALL?!"

" I D-"

We all heard a roar answer my distress call. It was loud, and it sounded far. I saw people start to try and run, but were stooped by the female dragon's fire.

Her gel was almost gel like. Is that why she was called a Bio-luminescent Gel Wraith? Because she could fire gel sticky enough to trap prey?

I shook my head and heard another roar. I could tell that it held anger and hatred in the way it was roared. I shivered.

I didn't know why I shivered. But I had an instinct scream at me to flee. Even the female dragon seemed to have the same instinct.

" My eggs! I can't leave them here!"

She cried and fired at the bars that separated her from her eggs. I grabbed the bars with my talons and used all my strength to tear it apart.

She immediately went to her eggs, nuzzling them affectionately like she had never touched them in her entire life.

A massive shadow casted over the entire enclosure and I dared to look at what had created it.

My eyes widened, an instinct I have never felt before blossomed through my entire form.

I heard the human's gasp, and Zika holding my hind paw. The dragon was massive. It HAD to be three times our size from its shoulders to its torso. The rest of it had a serpentine body that of a snake.

Where its arms were supposed to be were wings. It had no arms or legs. I felt a new emotion burst through my being.

Was- was this what fear felt like? Was this what our prey felt like when seeing us? I had no idea that it felt like this.

" We are fucked..."

I turned my head to look at Aizetsu. We all did. I was at a loss for words when I heard him cuss. I think we all were.

" AH! I THOUGHT THEY WENT EXTINCT?!"

" SHIT! WE ARE ALL FUCKED!"

I turned my attention back to the massive dragon, seeing it open its jaws. There was a purple gas that formed before it released it.

It wasn't gas anymore as it had turned into purple flames. I saw it take out all the humans within less than second.

Except the mother dragon. She had ling fled the area. I noticed when I looked back at where I last saw her.

" That's... that's a S-Si-Sirensong..."

" I thought they went extinct 67 000 years ago..."

A Sirensong? It sure as fuck fit it. I snarl and stood above Zika protectively as I stared at it.

An extinct dragon came back from extinction? I almost wanted to laugh. But my new extinct held me back from doing so.

I had to protect my brothers and humans from this dragon. Even if it costed my own life to do so.

Previous <-•-> Next

[cyborg-squid]

I;m mid-Dressrosa arc right now, which has been very neat, Doflamingo* is a very cool villain and it's interesting seeing Sabo (the least hot of the three brothers, if we're being honest) for what's basically the first time, and Luffy unintentionally rallying all the gladiators behind him... but this is also where my gripes with OP start coming out.

first is that this TL/upload has the QnA portion at the end of the volumes, which would mostly be whatever, but there're these two stupid little things which annoyed me. one was Oda doing genderbent art of the Worst Generation (i'm seeing a lot of Fem Law art on my feed), which is fine, but what annoyed me was then giving them each super stereotypical... girl lines? like Fem Kidd calling the alliance a "girl's night", Fem Hawkins talking about romance horoscopes, etc... only Fem Law had like a normal line. and the second, in a similar vein, in that stupid little QnA thing, someone mentioned Franky had on a shirt with JK on it, and brought up the 'JK schoolgirl' thing with him, since Franky also had braids, and Oda responded with "Haha, gross!". like. c'mon. i guess i already know how he feels about trans people but c'mon.

and with the content of the actual arc itself, it feels very intentionally mirroring Alabasta arc, like how Fishman Island mirrored Arlong Park, but here in Dressrosa... the idea of "good king=good monarchy" and "the previous royals were just so good until they were literally puppetted by Doflamingo" feels much more annoying than it did in Alabasta. probably a big part of that is how Vivi was a member of the crew for so long, we felt much more attached to her, her struggles, and her kingdom, than i do to Dressrosa. the monarchy bit also strikes meh cuz we've also seen. alternatives to that, in this very same manga, and actual revolutionaries against both monarchies and the World Government. like maybe there wouldn't be all these problems with Shichibukai taking over kingdoms from the shadows. if there were no kingdoms. (I feel like Dragon is being set up to be, if not an antagonist, an oppositional force to Luffy in some way, but I'm with him so far, honestly.)

oh and actually i just remembered a third thing i'm annoyed by. and i'm annoyed that i'm annoyed by it. it's the little "Where are they now?" sections at the start of chapters. and a large part are good and fine! It's nice seeing how Vivi is doing, or Dalton and Drum Island, or Nojiko, etc... but I don't really care seeing that CP9 survived, i'd rather they didn't. or Wapol. or 1/2 of Baroque Works. or Caribou. or Impel Down and their stupid fucking jailers. i just feels kind of... pointless when the Strawhat Pirates take down some guy, but then they end up getting away scot free, or facing basically no consequences. like what was the point?! no the Strawhats shouldn't kill everyone they fight and no they shouldnt be all imprisoned or anything, i dont support incarceration or the death penalty, but i just feel it'd have been better if. they'd been written off as dead, if we hadn't seen them again, especially in a silly little segment. i'm annoyed that i'm so annoyed by this, i'm not someone who needs moral lessons out of One Piece but god. just kill em and dont sweat the small stuff. at least, the Hachi ones and the Baroque ones did set up their later appearances, so those're fine.

*I'm reading the manga, but i did put on some Marineford episodes in the background while i farmed granblue (which is also what i do while reading the manga) and was surprised at how deep DFs voice was, compared to how he looks. like i was kind of expecting another 'okama' joke but thats just not present.