#did storytime

[intothepineforest]

Y’all I got to witness my emotional amnesia take over in real time! Here’s the story:

So I was very almost a victim of a bank phishing call last week. I actually had my friend with me and he was also taken in by it. Luckily for whatever reason my money couldn’t go through to them (🙏🏻) and so they just hung up. That was where we truly realised what had just happened.

Anyway that’s not really the important bit, this is;

So I was crying and shaking so badly I almost dropped my phone several times and my friend was shocked and quiet. After a bit the amnesia took hold and my crying stopped immediately (but this isn’t where I noticed it because this happens to me all the time) it just appeared outwardly that I’d simply calmed down.

A bit of time passes before we feel able to discuss it properly, then my friend started to get stressed and angry about what had happened, he was all kinds of frustrated that he’d helped to almost get me scammed.

I was just like “yeah wow that was a rough situation” completely flat and unbothered as if I hadn’t almost lost £300. This is like 20 minutes after I was juddering so bad my cat left the settee next to me.

My friend was saying “why aren’t you angry about this?? How are you so unbothered by it?” And that’s when I realised holy-shit I really feel nothing for this! I fully still remembered the crying and the shaking, but it was as if I was recalling something that had happened to my mum rather than myself.

First time I’ve actually noticed it happen so fast.

Pretty cool.

Kinda weird.

Very thankful!

[thehyperhomie]

These were real conversations with my friend who knows about all my alters and she likes to make jokes about it, which I don't mind too much since they're actually funny and I've known her forever. so basically we were at the store because we wanted snacks and my friend (let's call her Poppy- idfk-) Poppy brought me to the spice aisle and she was like "you belong here because your spicy." and the sprinkles were in the same aisle and I said "Nah I'm sprinkles because I'm chaotic." and then she added "plus there's like 30 different kinds right here.". I burst out laughing and so did she, aaaand then some random old lady glared at us and told us "We'Re ToO lOuD.". but that's a whole other story about that karen- I just felt like that joke needed to be shared. Then after the whole store thing, we were walking back to her house and somehow, idk how, the subject of insane came up. She was like "Y'know sometimes I feel like we're going insane." and I replied "I'm already insane." and she said "yeah all 25 of you.". Idk but I found it hilarious- I swear, she LIVES to make jokes like these- Anyway, I just wanted to make a bullshit post because yes :] -Lexi

[thehmn]

I love people who never smile which make them seem kinda mean or disinterested in you but in reality they’re big softies.

I used to work as a cleaner at a paint shop. The boss was this middle aged man who never smiled and only ever talked to me when he wanted to correct me or show me a mistake I made. Not in a mean way and I much prefer people point out mistakes I’ve made to me instead of complaining to my boss later, but it did give me the impression he wasn’t fond of me.

Two years into the job they decided to merge with another paint shop and I assumed I had to look for other employment but it turned out the boss made sure everyone got to keep their jobs including me. “They can’t fire you” he told me “I extended the contract another year last week. You’re safe”

The only person who lost their job in the merge was him but he secured everyone else on his way out, even the cleaner who only showed up once a week.

[toanw]

@aceaeite bullied me (politely) for months into designing these after the concept showed up on a very old backlog lmfao Sushi Ninja Cures Real

[chompe-diem]

hey. don't cry. audible smile in brian murphy's voice when he says "...but it's good when your friends look out for you" ok?

[elizabeths-storytime]

I think it'd be so funny if sasuke was red/green color blind

[queenofthequillandink]

When my partner was in high school, they were friends with pretty much every queer girl in their small town rural school due to not being an asshole and also not yet knowing they were queer, but not Acting Like a Man™ because, frankly, most of the boys at school were complete dumbasses and they didn't want to be like that.

This means that, inevitably, they were caught in the middle of some good, old fashioned lesbian pining. They were the common denominator between Girl A and Girl B, the friend the two had in common. Girl A would come to them and sigh about Girl B and how pretty she was and how she'd never want to go out with her. Girl B did the same about Girl A.

And then spring break hit.

The thing about my partner is that they were born near the school cutoff date, so they're old for their grade. When most of their friends were 17, they were 18 and able to do things that legal adults can do. Such as rent hotel rooms.

So Girls A and B come to my partner saying they want to go on a trip together over break, but they're both still 17, so would my partner please rent them a hotel room and they'll pay them back? And my partner, being a good friend and knowing that their parents were assholes, said yes.

See, the thing is. It had been months of my partner being stuck in this wlw pining vortex. And they were completely in charge of the hotel booking. They looked at the booking request for two separate rooms. And they made a choice.

One room. One bed. Booked, paid for, reservation number passed on to their friends. And then all they had to do was sit back and wait.

Day one of the trip, my partner gets a frantic call. It's Girl A, on speakerphone with Girl B. The hotel had made some sort of mistake, they only had one room booked, with one bed!

"Yeah, two rooms were too expensive," says my partner, lying through their teeth. "I thought you'd be okay with sharing, since you two are friends."

"Betrayal!" neither girl yells because they're both standing next to the object of their affection.

"Haha, yeah, thanks," they say instead before hanging up.

Anyway, they came back from that trip dating. As far as my partner is aware, neither is aware that they fully orchestrated "only one bed" on purpose out of self defense.

[aritany]

when i was at uni there was this professor who freaked me out SO badly. like i wanted to sit and lurk at the back of his classroom for every class he taught. he was so well-spoken and articulate and clearly brilliant, he got his phD by 22, has a juno award, one of those teachers you really need to like you most out of everyone in the class because you are a normal, well-rounded individual and you do not have an issue with authority figures. you know the type.

anyway, i was last in his classroom pre-pandemic, and i haven’t seen him since. i work at a bookstore now, and he came in today—and he recognized me, despite that my nametag called me something else than what he’d known me as, and i present very differently than i used to. we got chatting (i was being very normal and i wasn’t even flustered and i didn’t fumble with the card reader, what are you, a cop) and i ended up telling him that i have a book coming out next year.

oh yeah, i told him, very casual, it’s about toxic friendships in young girls and how they can affect perception and cause all sorts of problems. he said oh, yes, my daughter had all kinds of issues with that very thing when she was young, and i expressed that i had too, which had loosely inspired the book, or at least the feelings behind it.

“you know,” he said, “the best revenge is to write well.”

then i almost forgot to give him his receipt, and i told him to have a great day but like, in a sincere way, not the way you say it in customer service to every single other person, yes there is a difference, and i helped the next customer, and after they left i did a bunch of little wiggles behind the counter until my boss started giving me the hey-why-are-you-like-this stare.

anyway, i’m still thinking about it. the best revenge is to write well.

i think he’s right.

[babykittenteach]

and though I close my eyes

[butterballbuttnakey]

Okay now show me the cutscene where qimir pulls out a comb, a mirror & little rubberbands from his bag before carefully parting his hair down the middle, making sure to leave the money pieces out, and then slicking the rest back before putting two lil pigtails in & putting his helmet on

[lynn-tged-posting]

something i've been learning again and again recently is that tged has absolutely wonderful reaction image material

i've been using these on my priv twitter account and it has been VERY fun scrolling back and seeing them,,, they work so well

like theyre so silly,,, they fit so well,,, i can use them in any situation,,, and the art expresses it perfectly,,,

they,,, may have replaced my tmnt ones

if i had the storage space i absolutely would go through the webtoon again to get fun screenshots for reaction image purposes,,, alas i do not so i will just use the ones i take every now and then

i love the art in tged so so much im so glad i read this webtoon

[hella1975]

in secondary school my form room teacher was a really strict, by-the-book lady who took herself very seriously and generally had an odd, hard to crack sense of humour, but it was a known thing that she was married to one of the maths teachers, who was the loudest, most emotional guy in the entire world, and it was so funny bc everyone in the school was baffled that they were married but my form room, in having her as our form teacher for five years, got like. VIP extra rare insight into their marriage to the point people would beg for anyone in my class to trade gossip about it like looking back it's hysterical how invested we all were in this couple and one thing we'd always tell people was when the maths teacher would just. show up at our classroom. because basically for people who don't understand form room, it's the class you go to every morning - the same one, the same teacher, the same people - for five years to do registration, and the maths teacher didn't have a form room so sometimes when he was bored before first period he'd just. show up to ours. and every single time without fail my form teacher would rip his head off for it bc it was 'unprofessional' and he was 'bugging her' and he'd wander off again with his tail between his legs but without fail would do it again another day. like he would just show up at her classroom whenever he was free and she'd be like 'well IM not free. get out' and we'd all be there like this is fucking golden i can't wait to tell literally everyone. one time he beat her to class and started doing the register for her and making up new names/butchering our actual names as he went and when she came in i actually thought she might throw a chair at him.

[turnipoddity]

What music do u listen to when drawing your chainshipping / saw stuff? I'm so curious

I don’t listen to music when i draw ,,, most of the time i watch youtube/movies KASHJDJFKF

[chuchu-lovely-munimuni-muramura]

PORTGAS D. ACE!! 🔥

The boy!! Had an hard time with the pose and I probably fucked up the tattoo cause my stupid ass decided to draw without reference but gosh was it fun to draw(you can tell the part that truly made me suffer was drawing a background, I really don't like it as much as the drawing but eh)! Thank you @deadnamedblog for the proposition (and also thanks for the condolences, I feel a bit better about my failure but I really did cry with how hard it was to clean it all up)!

[airysunfairy]

thinking about the guy i saw at the grocery store stocking shelves that looked like unmasked simon riley. he was tall with broad shoulders, looked to be in his 30s, had a similar face, short strawberry blonde hair that was thinning at the crown,,, and all i could think about was how that was probably a job ghost would like, or at least one he'd be hired for more easily than others. just a job where he can use his height and strength, probably will get a question or two from patrons but maybe not with how intimidating he looks so he'll probably have relative peace and quiet - apart from whatever songs they play in the store to keep shopper's minds busy while looking at the prices. idk it just felt like i really saw him how he'd be in real life for a second. also he checked me out WHEW

[radjerda]

Story-time in Rivendell with Uncle Glorfindel! Elladan and Elrohir absolutely love going out adventuring early and listening to stories of old when offered the opportunity.

(Hopefully Glorfindel chose something more appropriate than the balrog story, this time.)

This piece is intended to be a panel of a comic that as of yet lives in my head, but it stands on its own (and I'm impatient), so I thought I'd share this as it is now