#did someone actually write that look it over and go ”yes this seems indeed like the most likely scenario”

[anotherhumaninthisworld]

Me and my teacher have been talking about Robespierre and he told me that there are rumors that he might've been homosexual. He then asked me if that would've affected his reputation. Who made the rumors and who is the subject that made people think that Robespierre was possibly homosexual?

I don’t get how Robespierre being homosexual can be called a rumor when it’s really clear as day? I mean, Robespierre openly admits he’s got a boyfriend in this letter to Maurice Duplay:

Okay, jokes aside, I don’t know when exactly the claim that Robespierre could have been homo first showed up, but as far as I’m aware it wasn’t one that circulated during his life nor one that was among the slanders thrown against him in the aftermath of his death. So if today, the idea of him possibly being gay is not unheard of, I don’t think it was one that affected him and his reputation during his lifetime.

When trying to find exactly from where and when this idea originates, I actually only found somewhat recent works (that said, I know it dates back far earlier than that, I just don’t know who first came up with it). According to Peter McPhee, Jean Artarit presents the following thesis in his Maximilien Robespierre ou l’impossible filiation from 2003:

The psychoanalyst Jean Artarit is at an extreme, offering the insight that Robespierre’s misspelling in an electoral pamphlet of a shoemaker’s name Lantillette as Languillette (“baby eel”) shows a longing to cut off the penis. For Robespierre was apparently a repressed homosexual with a castration complex, a misogynist and pathological narcissist constantly searching for a good father and an all-powerful mother.

There’s also this passage from The Alyson Almanac (1989):

Although Robespierre may have never acted on his homosexual feelings, his strong attraction to members of his own sex is indisputable. His attachment to the handsome Saint-Just, known as "The Archangel of the Revolution,” was the source of frequent rumors.

There’s basically the answer to your question regarding who (most often?) is the subject who made people think Robespierre was homosexual — his nine years younger co-worker Louis Antoine Saint-Just. Although, again, I’m pretty sure the author is mistaken here and that no rumors regarding them being a thing are proven to have existed while they were still alive (right @frevandrest…?)

What makes up the idea of Robespierre and Saint-Just as a couple is mostly a bunch of circumstantials which to be boring fair can be interpreted in a bunch of ways that aren’t romantically and/or sexually linked as well. These include (but are not limited to) both Saint-Just and Robespierre being unmarried (the latter even allegedly shouting ”I will never marry!” in an anecdote, and this despite the fact that we have clues of marriage plans between him and several women, none of which ended in a wedding), contemporaries admitting a certain closeness between the two (examples: 1, 2, 3), Robespierre’s host claiming Saint-Just would go straight to Robespierre’s chamber without talking to anyone else in the family, later allegations of Saint-Just being super handsome (despite the fact that contemporaries just appear to have described him as average looking) and finally the fact that Saint-Just stayed with Robespierre until the bitter end, going out with the aim to defend him on 9 thermidor and dying with him on the scaffold one day later.

[sashi-ya]

𝑻𝑶 𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑨𝑳 𝑨 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻. Trafalgar Law x F! Reader

🌨 a/n: so I recently been to Austria, a country I often visit since it's literally like a dream. (plus, my mom knew she was pregnant with me there, so I was used to come back to Innsbruck as much as I could with her). But in any case I got inspired there to write this little fic, that might -or not- be a multi chapter one if you all like it. The place exists and the scam part, happened to me -kinda, the airbnb existed, but not as it was listed :P- but in any case, please enjoy and don't forget to leave some feedback if you want more~ ❄ tw: a very sfw story, that might evolve into something else if you want me to keep writing about their trip 😏 ☃ wc: 2.6k

Hijacking for the first time, what could go wrong? Maybe everything, maybe nothing.

A two-month long trip all around Europe has found you on a little village of Austria. Your boots are cold, but luckily they are snow proof ones. Your skin all bumpy, your cheeks irritated. It’s been snowing all night, and despite the sun rising for now, some clouds in the sky menace with more white blessing to fall upon your shoulders very soon.

Those little mountain streets around the Alps are wonderful, they surround mountains going up and down and in a spiral way. But those are wonderful, as long as you can drive a car with heating. And you don’t have one right now.

The crunchy sound of the snow beneath your boots mix with the melody of a glacial river running in between the mountain and the road. It is certainly beautiful, the little rocks and stones being bathed by such pure and cold water, the rests of dry leaves and some moss growing on an everlasting shadow casted by tall, enormous peaks.  Everything is worth taking a picture, but you should prioritize your battery life this time around. The GPS is sometimes wonky, being that high can affect the service.

Many cars have passed by, but none of them have stopped. Little lorries carrying logs pass, cars completely drenched in dirty snow and that mix of salt that roads have during winters.

However, just when your hopes for finding someone to at least give you a ride to the next village were about to run out, the yellow shine of an old VW ban flashes before your eyes.

There, behind a curve -a very dangerous one if you ever went to the mountains- something smells like smoke and a tall man of white furry hat swears up to the skies.

You walk towards him, carefully. Who knows what is happening? Who knows who that man is capable of? There is one thing you are sure, however, and it is that this man is absolutely mad at his old van.

When peaking behind a dark wooden tree that’s now covered in spots of white snow, you discover the annoyed man is a young -handsome- one.

His van, a little rusty but still cute, seems to be having problems to keep going and the smoke coming from it shows it very well.

“Sir? Sir! Your van is catching fire!” you announce, realizing the smoke is indeed a very serious issue.

The guy of chocolate skin and tattooed hands turns around to look immediately at you and then to the back of the van. Those 70’s vehicles had actually their engines right in the back instead of the front.

And Indeed, you were right. Apparently the climb had been too tough for the poor old VW and its engine couldn’t take it any longer.

He quickly opens the back door, maybe searching for a fire extinguisher while you grab fistfuls of snow in an attempt to put down the incipient flames. Quickly enough, and with not many damages to count, the fire stops, and the only thing left is a big black spot on the back of the caravan.

“Thank you” he says, as dry as hopefully your socks. “No problem. What happened? Did the engine over heat?” you ask, curious despite his “I don’t want friends” face. “Yes; these hills are no joke. This never happened to my Polar, but there is always a first time…” he sighs, assessing the damage with a sad expression.

Apparently his van has a name; “Polar”. That’s very cute, and his eyes too. A golden shine in them looks even beautiful with the pristine white around. His tattoos do as well. You wonder about his name, and what is he doing on the road, but you are not sure if it’s proper to ask. However, he asks first.

“What are you doing here? do you have a car?” he mumbles, his voice is as attractive as he is. His eyes scan the place, but nothing catches his attention.

“No, I am actually hijacking. No one stopped so I started walking before the sun starts going down. I definitely got scammed; the Airbnb I was supposed to stay in didn’t, in fact, exist.

He grunts, almost silently. Apparently he is not happy with what happened to you but that’s it.

“Well, that’s so unsafe. I am sorry I can’t give you a ride right now. Apparently none of us have been blessed with good luck today” he says, walking around his vehicle with long legs covered in spotted jeans.

You nod. Your tongue is aching to ask about him, but you clearly catch the hint… he doesn’t want you there.

“Yep. Well, I wish you luck! I must keep going” “Same to you, be careful”

He doesn’t even look at you, something that makes you -somehow- very sad. In any case, you start walking away. There is no point in staying there… even if you have great mechanical skills that could help.

And as you do, you also have a very, very loud consciousness voice screaming at you on how could you leave him with no solution if you know it…

“Sir, you should check your water level…”  you shout, a few meters away from him. The sound of your voice echoes in the huge natural immensity of the Alps and his golden eyes finally fall upon you.

He stops moving for some seconds, lost in you. You, as well, wait for him to say something else. Something like “stay with me” or “don’t go”. A total stranger you want to hang up with. A total unknown woman he wants to protect.

“You know how to fix this?” “I do…”

Or so that was what you thought.  

No more than a couple of minutes took you to help him out. VW vans are noble machines; they are durable and easy to fix despite their particular design. And soon, as a part of your payment, the man that you learned is called Law and you drove away through intricate roads and huge snowflakes.

“Where are you going, (Name)-ya?” he asks, handing you an old cover from an old comic, Germa 66.

“I was supposed to stay for a couple of days in Bad Goisern, and then I thought of visiting Salzburg. I am on a long trip through Europe. What about you?”  you ask, cuddling with the blanket. A certain blessing for your freezing hands.

He nods, checking the breaks before going down the hill.

“I am too. I just graduated medical school and I thought of taking a little vacation before my residency starts. I’m going to be a surgeon. A cardiac surgeon” he tells, full of dreams he fails to cover up behind a tough guy expression.

You celebrate his success, and the next couple of hours become a ping pong of questions and answers. A smile on your face that leaves your cheeks hurting accompanies you until the sun hides and the little lights on the mountains start to scatter.

You didn’t want to go down in the first village, nor the second, nor the third. Law, didn’t want you to go down his van either. You named Salzburg, and he promised you to take you there.

But the night found both of you, and apparently your mechanical skills weren’t as good as you thought the would… Polar decided to stop, in the middle of nowhere during a dark, very dark winter night.

You close your eyes as the sound of rusty gears fail and Law’s annoyance grows stronger than ever. When Polar finally loses all of the power, Law manages to agonizingly park on the side of the road and a huge sighs escapes his lips.

You peak through your left eye; his DEATH tattooed fingers squeeze the wheel, and you know he will snap at any moment. But he doesn’t…

“I’m sorry. I thought- I-“ you try to give a plausible apologize, even though you had nothing to do with it.

“No. It is not your fault… it is mine- As we didn’t stop, I have completely forgotten to fuel Polar up” Law says, absolutely mortified for such stupid mistake. Apparently you were enough distraction to keep him from the basics of road tripping.

You breath alleviated and try to stop your upcoming laughter. Your grimacing did nothing to hide it, and a big burst of laughter took over the van and everything around.

Law looks at you pissed, but a soft smirk garnishes his lips. You can’t stop, perhaps it isn’t that funny… but you feel so happy right now. And you have no idea why, since you are literally stranded in a very dark wood with temperatures below 0C and snow pooling on top of that van.

“Welp, it’s ok. We should wait until tomorrow, then” you say, knowing the risks. “You- you prefer spending the night in here? aren’t you afraid of dying?” he asks, surprised.

“I am, in fact, scared of dying. That’s why I know very well I can’t walk during a snowstorm in the middle of the night in the Alps. Plus, you are too sweet to be considered a threat” you joke, searching for some chocolate inside your backpack.

Law narrows his eyes, deepening his frown. Apparently being called “sweet” and “not a threat” is not something he enjoys.

“I could cut you open and took all of your organs out during the night” he says, serious as hell. “Go for it. Don’t forget to steal my heart, doctor” you laugh, taking your jacket off.

Law is flabbergasted; he has never confronted someone like you before… but he is beginning to like it now.

A bar of chocolate that you had kept in your backpack for too long lays too close to his nose. You shake it, offering its sweetness to him.

He takes it but doesn’t eat it. Instead, his hand gets pressed against the window behind you. Law has pinned you against the door of your side. He is not a very muscular man, but he is indeed very tall and lean… if he wanted, he could do anything to you.

Your eyes widen, big as the moon. You swallow, thinking maybe walking through the forest might be a safer option.

“L-Law… I- didn’t mean to-“ you tremble, asking yourself where did you put the Victorinox blade you bought in Switzerland… it should be enough to defend yourself, right?

You notice his chest is also tattooed as his clothes open just a little. His arms, are too. His scent, despite the danger, smells deliciously tempting…

“Don’t trust strangers that easily, (Name)-ya” he whispers, a few centimetres from your lips. Letting you go after and biting the chocolate bar as if nothing has just happened.

You remain there, frozen up with your eyes widen and your lips softly trembling. He is, in fact, very right. Law is indeed a stranger, after all.

When oxygen finally begins to reach your lungs and brain again, you move and blink the dry eyes away. Silently you sit back, properly. You aren’t able to say anything, somehow you have run out of words.

You squeeze the blanket he gave you, covering you as much as you could, making yourself as tiny as possible on that old leather seat.

“Are you ok?” he asks, so nonchalantly.

“Ye-yes, I’m… ok” you mumble back, almost sticking yourself to the passenger door. “Is it ok if I go to sleep? I’m tired”

Law nods, confused. Maybe he was just joking around, but it did scare you big time. He goes down the van and opens the back doors. You look at him disappearing in the darkness until a very little glimpse of silver light coming from the moon filters through the doors.

But, soon after, fairy lights illuminate the back allowing you to discover a very cozy space behind the front seats.

“I am glad I installed this independently from the fuel tank. I have a little power generator for the back. It’s not a hotel bed, but it does the job” he says, showing you a precarious mattress covering the entire floor of the vehicle.

You smile softly, it looks cozy and pretty. The walls are full of random posters and maps, and there is even an old picture of a younger Law with three more guys wearing fancy hats with something written in the snow. You take a closer look at it, to discover it says, “Pirates of Heart” and you giggle. What a peculiar gang name.

“Law, this is really cute. You even have a lot of blankets and cushions!” you chime, easing a little bit.

“My best friend Bepo decorated it for me, I only helped him with the lights” he says, a little embarrassed.

You jump right back, leaving your backpack in the front seat and forgetting everything for the moment. What a reckless lover girl.

“I am going to sleep in the front seat, don’t worry. Use as many blankets as you need” he informs you, closing the back doors and leaving you there. You most probably were to say “no, stay here” but you simply couldn’t.

After all, this tattooed doctor is a gentleman. Right?

You let yourself rest for a bit on that improvised bed, with your sight blurring while looking at the fairy lights. The scent of the blankets and pillows is the same as him, something you secretly enjoy without even knowing. You catch a glimpse of the reflection of him sitting in the front through the back windows, at how he takes his hat off revealing a dark shade of onyx spiky hair.

For the next half an hour, or maybe less, you both become silent. The only sounds are the huge slaps of snow falling from the sky against the van and the subtle whistle of the wind filtering through the doors.

It is cold, but it’s probably colder in the front as Law is only using his Germa 66 blanket to cover up…

“Law? Are you awake?” you ask, shyly.

“Mh? Yes... why?” he asks back, with not much emotion but a soft tremble on his voice. He is probably cold, very cold.

“I feel bad for you; you must be freezing. There is plenty of room back here, you could sleep here. It’s ok with me” you say, taking advantage of not being in front of him.

Law takes a few minutes to move, but he ultimately does. He hops to where you are and sits there crossing his long legs. He is not wearing his black leather boots, so you can see Sora’s socks.

“Cool socks” you say, sitting right in front of him watching his cheeks go blushed. “Here, cover up. You are freezing, doc”

Both of you cover up with heavy blankets and fall into the mattress at the same time, facing each other.

Maybe, it is too strong to deny it. The attraction is natural, and you both can’t stop it… Exactly like the wind and cold reaching your skins.

“I am still cold” you mumble.

“I read in one of my books that the best way to keep the warmth of our bodies is to share it… skin to skin” he whispers, unable to take his eyes away from your lips.

“Is that so?” you breathe, coming closer to his embrace, allowing his arms to surround your frame and your hips to join with the other’s.

His forehead slowly touches yours, the bridge of your noses do as well. Your fingers, playfully but slowly, crawl to the crook of his neck. While his, squeeze your waist with delicate dominance. A leg that snake into the other’s, crossing, tangling…

Lips coming closer, so close. Breaths warming up, going faster and bumpy. Hearts that indeed had been stolen, the first kiss of two strangers, meeting for the very first time like two snowflakes join while falling from an endless sky

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤWill they continue their journey together? 🦢

[misc-obeyme]

I just realised that if MC were to make a Pact with Barbatos, then that would make him the 8th Demon they made a Pact with. And we know in Nightbringer that the reason why Barbatos is irritable towards Solomon is bc Barbatos found Solomon's list of demons he wanted to make pacts with and Barbatos was listed as 8th on the list. He was mad that he was placed 8th. He can never escape the number 8, lol.

Also, do you think it's possible to make a Pact with Diavolo? Since he's also a Demon, but then again, I don't think Barb would let that happen. From a political standpoint, Diavolo would never be allowed/agree to form a pact with someone since that would mean "submission," and he's the future king of Devildom.

I wonder if there's a pact equivalent for angels? Guardian Angel, perhaps?

POOR BARB.

Personally I'm still rather irritated about that entire thing with being 8th on the list. I don't care that it makes Barb look bad, I care that it's bad writing. It just doesn't make sense for them to have that go on continually the way it did just to have it be a joke in the end. I'm still upset about it!! That being said, I console myself by headcanoning that Barbatos didn't want to tell MC and Solomon the real reason for his anger and thus made something up on the spur of the moment. Alternatively, I will accept that he's a troll and was deliberately messing with Solomon all along. Just because I think that's funnier than him genuinely being upset about being number 8 lol.

However, you are correct in that if MC made a pact with him at this point, he would indeed be the 8th demon. On that note, I don't think Barbatos would care as much when it comes to MC. (I'm still not convinced he actually cares in Solomon's case either.)

I think Barbatos wants MC to do whatever feels right for them. Though I kinda wonder if he would even agree to a pact with MC if MC asked him for one. He certainly trusts MC, since he gave them a piece of his grimoire in NB. But there's still so much we don't know about him. And I'm not sure what happened with Solomon, but it seems like there were extenuating circumstances surrounding their pact situation.

As for Diavolo, MC does ask him to make a pact with them in season 3 of the OG.

SPOILER: Season 3, OG, specifically Lesson 59-7

Personally I think it's pretty great that he laughs at you at first lol! But yes, while I'm sure Barbatos wouldn't be too excited about this idea, it seems that Diavolo is going to shut it down himself anyway. He knows he can't just hand control of himself over to a human. It's bad enough that MC has pacts with the seven lords and all that, they'd basically be the ruler of the Devildom if they had a pact with Dia, too.

As for the angels, I can't remember anything about them having an equivalent. Mammon talks about guardian angels a little bit in NB. But otherwise it's not really discussed much. (That I can recall.)

But even if that is an equivalent, it's not really the same situation, I would think. Since a pact means that a human can control the demon in question whereas a guardian angel is just looking out for their human. In the latter situation, the human might not even know they have a guardian angel.

But it would certainly be interesting if there was a version of the pact for angels. What would that mean for the human part of that equation? What would that even look like? There's not enough description in the game to go on, so I think you can headcanon it however you like.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I actually thought that Adrien and Gabriel's relationship seemed like it might have been possible to salvage in the early seasons. What do you think?

@tallwriter Starting a new post since this one was getting super long as this is a different topic.

The problem with Gabriel Agreste's character is that they very clearly wanted to write a sympathetic villain - you can tell that from how the show handles his death - but sympathetic villains don't work if you make them cartoonishly evil. You have to handle the situation with nuance and delicacy, especially when one of the main heroes is the villain's son.

Gorizilla is not a perfect episode by any means, but it does showcase how Gabriel should have been written if they wanted him to come across as complex and sympathetic. In that episode, Gabe thinks that Adrien is Chat Noir and, because there's no way to magically force Adrien to reveal himself or confess his secrets, Gabriel has to come up with a situation where Adrien would be forced to transform of his own free will (since that can't be overwritten with a ring or something crazy like that). Which is how we get Adrien hurtling to his death while his father looks on:

Adrien: Always! (jumps out of Gorizilla's hand, and over the side of the building) Yeah-ha! Hawk Moth:(from his lair) No! ... Hawk Moth:(from his lair) If indeed you are Cat Noir, then transform, son. Please. (Adrien continues to fall downward, resolutely remaining as he is) Come on, son! (Ladybug looks down at Adrien, then raises her head, eyes closed.) Ladybug: Cat Noir, help!! Hawk Moth:(from his lair, to Gorizilla) Drop Ladybug!

This is good writing. Yes, Gabe's plan was kind of dumb (you live with Adrien, dude, just bug his room), but if we accept that this was the only way to go about a forced reveal - and that does seem to be the writer's logic - then we see a situation where Gabriel put his son above winning. A situation where he's still very much the villain, but he's not a dastardly, cold-hearted one. He does love his son.

There are actually several of these moments in the first three seasons. Some involve Adrien and many more involve Nathalie. It's why season five's claim that Gabe put beating Ladybug above everything else rings hollow. He never actually did that outside of Evolution (S5E1). He's almost always been loved-ones first when it really counts, a thing that Ladybug uses against him in the final when she tries to crush Emilie. The whole "Ladybug obsession" thing truly feels like something they just made up for that one episode to justify Nathalie "turning sides" aka doing nothing useful beyond maintaining the status quo (hey, they needed someone to keep the senti plot from having consequences and it wasn't like she was doing anything useful anyway!)

The problem is that this "loved ones first" mentality is only used for big dramatic moments, often as a way to keep Gabriel from winning. It's not Gabriel's main characterization even though it needed to be if you want season five's ending to feel even remotely earned. Going into that ending, we should have all thought that Gabe was a messed up dude who truly did love his son. And, if Gorizilla, Style Queen, and Ladybug had all been examples of his standard characterization, then we would have thought that.

But that's not who the writers told us Gabe was.

Instead, his standard characterization paints him as petty, controlling, and manipulative. Which is wild because there was no reason to do that! Gabe could - and should - have been played as stern and removed, but generally loving when he's outside of the mask. In other words, Gabriel Agreste could be well liked while Hawk Moth was hated.

The crazy thing is that this is such a simple change to make. You either removed the episodes where Gabe's awful parenting is the source of the conflict (ex: Bubbler) or you just make a few minor changes to show that he's conflicted about his actions.

For example, take Chat Blanc, the episode that ruined so many elements of this show! In that episode, Gabe is a total bastard. He happily sacrifices his son's happiness to make an akuma in the form of Marinette and then, when Adrien's secret is revealed, does Gabe have any sort of conflict about traumatizing his son? The kind of conflict we'd expect after episodes like Gorizilla? Nope! He straight up delights in showing Adrien Emilie's... corpse? Comatose form? Whatever! Gabe then akumatizes Adrien with a smile on his face.

That gets the writers a solid F for consistent characterization. It's why I highlighted "almost" in red when I mentioned Gabe's motivation. Because in Ephemeral and Chat Blanc, the writing ignores the sympathetic stuff that characterizes the dramatic moments and goes straight for the worst-father-of-the-year, love-to-hate-him, please-let-him-die-now characterization that we get in most episodes.

If you were writing Chat Blanc's Gabriel to fit his intended complex, sympathetic mold, then you would probably drop the breakup plot or you'd have spent all season setting Marinette up as the perfect akuma target, changing the breakup into something that Gabriel felt that he HAD to do instead of opportunistic evilness. You'd also have Gabe drop a line like, "I'm sorry, Adrien. You'll thank me later" before the Chat Blanc akumatization. Or at least don't have him grinning! Do something, ANYTHING to show that Gabe sees using his son like this as a necessary evil and not a fun time! You know, like how he was begging Adrien to transform during Gorizilla? Almost like Gabe had stopped caring about winning and started just wanting his son to live.

Would these changes make Gabe less of a fun cartoon villain? Yes, but that's the point. Cartoon villains are cartoony. They're over the top. They have no nuance. Sympathetic villains don't work with those characteristics.

The normal way to get around this in a cartoon setting is to have secondary antagonists who can be played as cartoonishly evil. And, confusingly, Miraculous has those characters. Chloe, Sabrina, and Lila have been here since season one (Kim could also have stayed a bully and been added to that list, but he's not a teenage girl, so I get why they didn't do that /s.) Felix has been around since seasons three. Nathalie has been an active villain since season two. Any or all of these characters could be the cartoonish, nuance-less villain while Gabriel stays sympathetic.

Instead, they play Gabe however they want to play him in any given episode, making it so that he's impossible to understand from an audience perspective. I personally like the sympathetic take and think that those are the show's best episodes because I like complex villains. It's even how I write Gabe in my stuff because I go for less cartoony takes on canon.

I don't think a redemption was needed, but a sympathetic villain doesn't require one. All that term means is that you can understand the villain and be sympathetic to their plight. Redemption is optional. In fact, the goal is often not redemption, but an understand that, "there but for the grace of the gods go I." I mean, we've all lost loved ones. Wouldn't the power to bring a loved one back tempt you, too?

If they wanted to go for evil, cartoony Gabe, then they needed to drop all of the complexity and go for a Disney villain type character who gets a Disney villain death a la Scar or Mother Gothel. Don't give Gabe the wish. Let him fall to his own hubris by falling into the water of his secret layer and lading as a puddle of ash while a sad Ladybug looks on, having just failed to save him.

If you want to see an excellent look at how cartoon Gabe could have worked, then I highly recommend @zoe-oneesama's Scarlet Lady comic, which is just nearing its end after a multi-year run. I think it's fair to say that Zoe and I largely agree on canon's flaws, she just fixes them by leaning into the cartoon side of things, creating a hilarious story with lots of heart. Canon could have absolutely gone that way too and worked out wonderfully! The issue is not a lack of nuance, it's that they tried to add nuance without ever fully committing to it, making a story that is the worst of both worlds. While a more serious nuanced reboot would be my ideal dream, a reboot that scraps all of Gabe's nuance and just makes him go full evil would be just as satisfying and Zoe proves that.

[kennysimp101]

The party: Kenny x reader 🔥

A/N: I needed to write a Kenny smut for my sanity CAUSE THAT MAN IS SO FINE AND THE EDITS OMG. Anyways a lot of it is plot and then smut because I love the plot more than the actual nasties. But if you want more smut smut, let me know.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This party is gonna be a mess” is what you think while getting ready. Your older brother Ethan decided it would be fun if you went with him to his friend's party at the Beta Squad house for hitting 7m. Little did he know, you had been flirting and meeting up with one certain member of Beta Squad. Kenny and you had been talking for a while, till he decided to ghost you. When Ethan first told you about this party, you immediately wanted to say no, but then you thought it would be a good chance to either talk to Kenny, or to fuck with him. The second option seemed to just be more fitting, so you wore a hot-ass dress, got all dolled up, and waited as Ethan and Faith came to pick you up. You had one plan which was, to get a bit tipsy, flirt with someone else in front of Kenny, and see what happens. 

You got in with Ethan and Faith and talked about your day till you reached. You rang the bell and AJ opened the door. “Y/N!!! I'm so happy you made it, it's been a while” he said as he went in for a hug. “It's been a while indeed,” you say knowing very well why you haven't been over at the beta squad house in a while. You go over to the makeshift bar where you run into Talia, your best friend. “Omggg heyy girl” Talia comes over already kinda tipsy. “Hiiiii” You say as she hugs you while almost tripping. You pour yourself a vodka cranberry as you talk to Talia. “I didn't think you would come, yk since Kenny and all,” she said. “Ehh I don't mind, I'm over it “ You very much were not over it. “Oh please, I've seen the way you look at him, it's like you just want to suck him off right that second” She rolls her eyes. “TALIA WTF” You smack her arm, shaking your head. “You know I'm right,” She says and downs her drink, stumbling over to Simon. You sigh and get up, looking around to see people… to see Kenny.

“Hey y/n, good to see you” you hear and turn to see Sharky. “Hey Sharky, oh” you look next to Sharky and there he is. Kenny. He looks so hot. His arms, his chest, his face so kissable, you just want to… your trail of thought is cut off as Sharky starts talking “Y/n you good??” “Ye ye, the vodka is just hitting yk '' you reply, realizing you've been staring at Kenny, making you turn red. But he hasn't said anything to you. Not even a hi. “I'll catch you later Sharks,” You say, embarrassed but too tipsy to give up just yet. You drink a bit more, talk to your friends, and then go over to the dance floor. You see Deji and join him. “Hey Y/N” He shouts as you join him. “Hey Deji” You shout back. “Having a good time?” “Ofccc it's a great party,” you say as you get an idea in your head. “How about I make it better,” Deji says as he smirks. You see Kenny, staring at you from the corner of the room. This was the moment. “Sure,” You say as you put your hands on Deji’s shoulders and dance with him, basically just grinding against him. Things were getting heated. Suddenly Kenny comes over and pulls you towards him and whispers in your ear “My room in 10” and walks away. You are red, that turned you on so bad. You step away from Deji saying sorry and walk and sit near your friends. The longest 10 minutes of your life. As soon as it's over, you get up and go to Kenny's room, knowing your friends were too drunk to care. 

As soon as you get in, you feel someone push you against the door, locking it. “Wtf were you doing with Deji down there,” Kenny says. “Huh?!? Who are you to tell me who I can or cannot dance with” You say, who is he to say anything to you after ghosting you. “Yk very well that was not dance, yall could have been fucking at that point” “And this bothers you why?? Last I checked, you were the one who ghosted me” You were upset but somehow you couldn't be with this man. You look up at him and he looks genuinely into your eyes “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ghost you, I just thought you weren't interested” he said. “I'll show you how interested I am,” You say as you pull him by his collar and kiss him. He kisses you back and his hand trails down your sides, grabbing your waist.

You wrap your arms around his neck as he grabs your thighs and wraps them around your waist. He carries you over to his bed, not disconnecting the kiss as he sits and places you on his lap. You tug his shirt and he removes it as his hands go under your dress. You move your hips while sitting on his lap, feeling his hard-on as you grind. “Fuckkk” He groans, grabbing your ass tighter. You move your lips to his neck, leaving hickeys while you unzip his pants, remove his boxers and take out his dick. You go back to kissing him as you stroke his dick, feeling him whimper into your mouth. You push him down onto the bed, as you slide your panties off and slide his dick in. “Omg fuckingg hell” you moan at this feeling. You place both his hands on your waist and yours on his chest, moving up and down at a painfully slow pace. “Y/n pleasee” He whimpers as he thrusts into you to try and get more friction. You speed up as he grabs your waist so hard it would have definitely left fingerprints. “Fuck Ken I’m about to cum” You say. He hmms back as both of you cum. You ride your high and then get off him, going into his arms. You put one hand on his chest as you lay on his arms and he plays with your hair.

“So, wanna go on another date?” He asks. “Omg yes, you oblivious dumbass, boxing has definitely knocked some off your brain cells,” you say shaking your head. Both of you cuddle until you fall asleep. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I hope yall liked it. Its been a while since I wrote smut so idk how it went. I realise I dropped a bit of angst (I'm a whore for angst what can I say) but ye.

Next up is some talia x fem reader or tobes x reader so we shal see

Love yall <33

[stardustgalaxy]

Even more DMC headcanons~! Y’all seem to really like the ones with the reader/you involved so… why don’t we go more with that then?

(Just a whole bunch of nonsense thrown together, y’know?)

✨Let’s take a journey backwards into how Dante managed to ask you out in the most on brand way possible! He did and didn’t ask you out, but running on the assumption you’ve been friends/known each other for a while he’ll just kind of give you something expensive (let’s be honest, it’s a bracelet with a red gemstone embedded in it) and ask you this: “Can ya hang onto this?”

“Sure, but, why…?

“Isn’t it obvious? So I’m always able to find you, (Nickname)?”

✨Vergil, alas, is much less suave with his ways of asking you out, but the fact you managed to get past the icy shell of protection and get along with Dante, he’ll do something a little more romantic… by giving you a questionably expensive set of books to write in/a book has already been filled with his thoughts of you~! Man sucks with speaking, but writing is his expertise!

✨Nero, oh you sweet summer child, is the more bold of the trio! He’ll get cold feet, freak out about things going sideways, and then absolutely melt when you kiss him on the cheek when he hands you a bouquet of your favorite kind of flowers. And yes, there is indeed a single bright blue rose in there that he’ll carefully place in your hair~ Kyrie is 100% the one who suggested he do the bouquet with the rose.

✨Lady asking you out is by far the simplest of the entirety of the DMC crew, even Trish is surprised considering they both enjoy the more lavish (yet simple) sides of things. Lady is most likely the one to ask you out with you two on your classic lunch once a month, a tradition you started and she come to enjoy happening~ 100p extra if you turn the tables on her and ask her out instead, with a charming smile on your face and a quick peck on her lips!

✨It’s a wonder how Trish managed to find herself falling in love with someone, let alone you since you’re… well, you. She can’t describe it! But you’ve hung out together long enough, and if you’re a fellow hunter also slayed a few demons together, and so she figured she might as well ask you out on a date first! What she wasn’t prepared for was for you to show up looking nice with a single flower in your hand, gently placing said into the suit she decided to wear that day and saying such simple words. “You may not think much on it, but a woman as elegant and electrifying as you should wear this as well...”

✨Now for the ACTUAL headcanons:

💜Nero has a low resistance to spices, though it’s gotten better now that he moved out of Fortuna City

💜Dante, on the other hand, has a stupidly high resistance to spices and gets a little disappointed that the “spiciest thing around” is just a tickle on his tongue… have mercy upon his toilet

💜Vergil finds the concept of eating to be difficult, his sense are a bit skewed from his time split apart into two as well as time as Nelo Angelo, and thus he has the worlds slowest burning metabolism! He can go without eating a full meal for like… weeks. He will snack on small things like gummy bears and animal crackers, just so Dante and Nero get off his back about him skipping some sort of fuel. He’s gotten better at eating more consistently tho.

💜Lady has this ONE particular shade of lipstick she absolutely adores and was crushed when her favorite shop ran out of that shade, nearly punched a hole in Dante’s wall when it came to be discovered her favorite shade was discontinued due to unfortunate events… (demons)

💜Trish actually has a sour tooth! Contrary to what others may think, she prefers sour things over sweet, savory, and spicy! Go ahead, give her a sour patch kid or a warhead, she’ll snack on them all day if she could~!

💜Kyrie, believe it or not, has a secret love for some rock metal and it’s entirely Nico AND Dante’s fault! She also has a once a week little brunch hangout with Vergil to help him get more acclimated to “semi normal” life, as she is the only one who didn’t attempt to suffocate him in his sleep. (i.e gave him a scolding in a way that reminded him of Eva, so he felt comforted in a way because of it)

And that’s all the headcanons and I guess insert moments I got! Tune in next time for when I share these again… tho, I wonder if y’all would want me to make a separate lil blog for this

[gunilslaugh]

Write Next Door

Goo Gunil

Summary: Little did you know the guy you were exchanging notes with and your next door neighbor were the same person. (non-idol au)

WC:~1.2k 

Warning: none

AN: The title is supposed to be a pun since you're writing notes to your next door neighbor in case it didn’t make sense.

photo not mine credits to owner.

“Hi whoever else sits at this desk :)” It was a silly little note, but it made you smile. Truthfully you weren’t having the best day. You had a test this morning that you don’t think you did particularly well on. Then your project partner in another class decided that they weren’t gonna do their part of the work or show up to class. Even though the note was a small thing it still managed to bring some light to your dreary day. So much so that you found yourself picking up your pencil to write “Hi :)” where there was a blank space on the little paper before folding the note back up. You placed it back where you found it on the underside of the desk where there was a slight gap between the wood of the desk and a metal bar.

The next morning you were leaving your house feeling exhausted due to staying up late to finish your project. 

“Are you feeling ok?” You heard a voice beside you. You turned your head to see your neighbor Gunil. You didn’t know Gunil all that well, but talk from time to time. Enough for you to deem him as a nice guy. Who also has a workout addiction. 

“Yeah I’m ok thanks. I just stayed up last night doing a project. That I have to present today,” you sighed. 

“I’m sure you’ll do well,” Gunil encouraged you. Giving you a supportive smile. 

“Thanks,” you tell him. 

When you later arrived at class your hand subconsciously went to feel to see if there was another piece of paper under the desk. To your surprise there was. You grabbed it and unfolded it. “I didn’t think anyone would actually respond, but I’m glad you did!” Just like the last note this one also made you smile. You flipped the note over to the backside to write your response. “I was having a bad day, but your note made me happy :)” You folded the paper and put it back under the desk. Feeling a bit excited to check for another note tomorrow. 

On your way back home you happened to run into Gunil again. 

“You look happier. I take it your presentation went well,” he said.

“It did, but that’s not-nevermind,” you dismissed. Deciding that telling Gunil you're happy about receiving silly little notes might seem a bit weird. 

“No, tell me. Don’t leave me hanging,” he says. 

“Ok fine. In one of my classes there’s this person who’s been leaving notes under the desk. I know that probably sounds silly, but I don't know they make me happy for some reason,” you tell him. Gunil stays silent at your words because he has been leaving notes under the desk in one of his classes. He left the first one more as a joke. Just something that was meant to be as good fun. He can’t lie though reading the little “Hi :)” someone, who he now thinks is you, responded with made him happy too.

“What did the notes say?” Gunil finally speaks after realizing he hasn’t said anything. 

“The first one said ‘Hi whoever else sits at this desk’ with a smiley face and the second one said that they didn’t expect anyone to respond, but they were glad I did,” you answered. Gunil got his confirmation you were indeed the one who responded to his goofy note. It makes his heart flutter. Honestly Gunil always had a bit of a crush on you ever since you first spoke to him. Now you turn out to be the one he’s exchanging notes with. What are the chances of that? 

“That’s cute. They seem like a friendly person.” Yes, Gunil was putting in a good word for himself. He thinks that he’s going to use these notes as a way to confess to you. 

“Yeah they do,” you agreed. Gunil was excited to read your response tomorrow. 

Gunil couldn’t make his way to his desk fast enough. Handing racing to grab the paper lying underneath. 

“Are you that excited about your note thing?” Seungmin teased him. Gunil doesn’t even bother to respond as he eagerly unfolds the note and reads your response. It felt sad to hear that you were having a bad day, but he was glad that he made you feel better. Gunil smiles like an idiot as he rips a piece of paper to write you another note. “Seriously, why are you being weird?” Seungmin pressed. 

“The person responding to my notes is y/n.” Gunil happily tucks the note under the desk

“Y/n? Oh you mean your crush y/n?” Seungmin questions. 

“That’s the one,” Gunil says. 

Later when you arrive at class your hands find their way under your desk. It’s quickly becoming a habit. You smile when you feel the piece of paper under your fingers. There’s a feeling of excitement as you unfold the paper. “I hope I can bring happiness to all your days y/n :)” Your eyes widen as you read your name on the little paper, rereading it again to make sure you read it right. How did the person know who you were? Should you be scared? You feel a bit hesitant this time as you write your response, “How do you know who I am?”  

The next day you were a bit worried as you held the folded paper in your hand. That worriedness faded away as you read the response though. “Cause I am your secret admirer <3” The person who you were exchanging notes with had a crush on you? “Can I know who you are then?” you wrote back. 

The following day you were met with a note that said “You’ll find out soon!” However, that was also the last note they left you. It’s been three days and the underneath of your desk remained note free. You began to think this was all a joke. Maybe one of your friends was just messing with you this whole time. 

You arrived home and found an envelope sitting on your doorstep. You stared at it curiously before picking it up. It had your name written across your front. You ripped the envelope open to reveal a note inside. “Your secret admirer is…” you read out loud. 

“Me,” you heard a voice behind you. It’s a voice you recognize. You turn around to see Gunil standing there with flowers and a note. He hands you both. You smile as you smell the flowers and read the note. “I like you <3 Do you like me too? Check [  ] Yes or [  ] No” You laugh grabbing a pen from your bag. You teased Gunil a little bit, acting like you were thinking about it before checking the yes box and handed the note back to him. Gunil’s face lights up as he sees your response. 

“Yes!” He pumped his fist excitedly, making you laugh. You think Gunil being the one who was sending you notes all this time was the best possible outcome. 

[lovelynim]

Bubbles

Genshin Impact - Thoma x Ayato

A/N: I was pretty much struck by inspiration out of the blue and decided to write this. I also missed writing for Thomato so why not. ehe.

Summary: Thoma decides to help Ayato with his bath, but things easily go out of hand.

Word count: 1610

Warnings: There isn’t anything explicit, but… well, Ayato is naked, it’s a bath, after all. Ah, yes, there is also tickling.

"Don’t take this as a complaint, but wouldn’t you agree that I’m way too old for having someone helping me in something like this?” Ayato slightly turned his head to the side, just enough to let the other notice the subtle grin on his face. 

“Allow me to disagree, my lord,” Thoma said happily, gently taking his hands over Ayato’s shoulders and helping his master take off his clothes. Once he had placed his coat away, Thoma walked back to him, kneeling in front of Ayato to continue to help him undress. “Actually, if you asked me, my lord, I’d say it’s only proper for a servant to help their master even in the simplest tasks.” 

Ayato let out a soft chuckle, taking his hand to his face as he covered his lips to muffle the side and cover his grin. “Oh, Thoma, you are embarrassing me,” he lied, watching the blonde test the water with half-closed eyes.

“Then bear it with me a little longer, my lord,” the housekeeper said softly, gently taking Ayato’s hand as he guided the clan’s head into the bathtub.

Once Ayato’s body was submerged, Thoma stepped back, taking out his gloves and red coat. Now, stripped from the heavy clothes, he walked towards Ayato again, feeling welcomed by the smile on his master’s face. 

As the sound of his bare feet tapping against the bathroom’s flooring got louder, the clan’s chief knew the blonde was already close to him. He leaned back into the tub, letting his head fall back as he looked up, his eyes meeting Thoma’s. Ayato grinned, letting out a sigh. 

“Is something wrong, my lord?” Thoma asked, picking up some products he left near the tub earlier.

“This is bringing me memories,” Ayato replied, leaning his head back forward, “from back when we were younger.”

“Ah, indeed,” the blonde muttered, putting some shampoo on his hands before starting to massage the back of Ayato’s head, "the other servants used to scold me because I would get things wrong so often back then," Thoma chuckled.

With his eyes closed, Ayato laid his head back into Thoma's touch. "But now you have mastered every possible task. Seems like you turned the tables on them, in the end,” the clan’s leader pointed out, holding his breath when Thoma poured some of the water over his head to rinse his hair.

“I’m flattered by your words, my lord,” the fixer muttered softly, placing his hands on top of Ayato’s shoulder, starting to move his fingers as if giving the man a massage. “But I still have plenty of other things to lea-”

“Ah!”

Ayato’s voice suddenly broke through their conversation, scaring both of them and splashing some water out of the tub as he jolted. He was distracted by their talking and Thoma’s touch that he failed to notice when the blonde’s fingers roamed a little closer to his neck.

Thoma’s thumbs brushed against his skin so gently that sent a whole wave of tinglish shivers down Ayato’s back, making his squeal in surprise. 

“Did I hurt you, my lord?” The fixer said in a hurry, with clear worry in his voice, while moving his hands away.

Ayato sighed, already blaming himself for that exaggerated reaction. “No, Thoma, I just… got distracted for a second,” he muttered the made up excuse, rubbing his neck to try get rid of the ghostly feeling that remained in the spot.

“Very well… please tell me if anything is bothering you”, Thoma nodded, now taking place by the tub’s side. He slowly reached for one of Ayato’s arms, gently moving the sponge over his skin and, at that exact moment, the clan’s head could tell this would be tough.

Just like in every other task, Thoma made sure to do a meticulous job. Dragging that unbearably soft sponge over Ayato’s skin over and over until he was sure he was done with it and moved to the next spot.

Meanwhile, Ayato put up his best efforts to not melt in a puddle of giggles. Having Thoma touching his neck and his back so gently was already leaving him at the edge of cracking up and, after battling the urge to laugh for a while, he was pretty sure the housekeeper was able to notice the way his muscles suddenly tensed up whenever the sponge roamed close to one spot or another and, yet, made no attempts to speed up the process or change the way he moved his hands.

Ayato could feel his lips twisting into a smile, his teeth greeting and his hands clenching as hard as he could. Why did it feel so damn ticklish?!

“My lord?”

“Y-Yes, Thoma?” He snapped back to reality. Thoma looked like he was waiting for something, but Ayato couldn’t even guess what it was. “Sorry, can you repeat it?”

“Your arms,” Thoma pointed out, “can you move your arms up a bit?”

Those words made Ayato’s heart sink inside his chest. Part of him was already blaming his past self for agreeing with this madness, while the other tried to come up with an answer. But, in the end, he simply followed his servant’s instructions.

Ayato was at his limit.

“T-Thohoma… p-plehease,” Ayato giggled, pressing his eyes shut as he tried to squirm as little as possible when Thoma started to move that damned sponge against his side.

“Yes, my lord?” Thoma said, hiding a chuckle under his breath, already well aware of what Ayato was going to say.

“C-can’t yohohou go any f-fasteheher? Or nohohot b-be so gehehentle?!” Ayato whined through another stream of giggles, splashing some water out of the tub and soaking part of Thoma’s clothes in the process.

“I’ll try my best, but it might still feel a little ticklish. Try to bear it with me, yes?”

“Eheheasier s-sahaid than doho- AHaha, Thomahaha!” Ayato’s words were cut by a sudden squeal when the housekeeper gave him a little “help” and held his arm by his elbow, managing to move his other hand all the way from his ribs to the underside of his arms.

“I can imagine, I’m just as ticklish, my lord,” Thoma said, as if comforting Ayato in some way, even if the clan’s head would take that more as something more like a tease.

The following minutes felt like an eternity. The blonde couldn’t help but laugh along with his master, even if it meant to have more water splashed on his clothes, messing the bathroom more and more.

Ayato’s face was already tainted with a bright shade of red, completely contrasting his natural cold colored palette. After putting up such a battle, he barely had energy to fight or to mind the light feeling when Thoma moved to his legs. He was laying his head back, catching up his breath and wearing a slight smile on his lips. It would all be over soon, he told himself.

“See? It wasn’t that hard, my lord,” Thoma said, trying to get his master to talk to him again, even after “torturing” him.

“Speak for yourself, Thoma… I’m getting you back for that later,” Ayato muttered between short gasps and the servant knew very well that it wasn't a threat, but rather a warning about what would be waiting for him later that night.”

“I’m looking forward to that, my lord,” it was Thoma’s bland answer before he pulled Ayato’s ankle out of the water, making the other man eye him. Without further notice and without giving his master the chance to say something, Thoma brushed the sponge against Ayato’s foot.

“AHA- T-ThohOHoma, ahah, w-waHAhait!” Ayato tried to pull his leg out of the fixer’s grip or twist his foot away from the sponge, but both were to no avail.

“No can do, my lord, I can’t allow myself to delay your schedule for tonight, can I?”  The blonde spoke innocently, repeating the moves and even getting a little rougher to tease his master, all while Ayato’s cackles filled the bathroom.

The clan’s head held on the tub’s edges of his dear life, falling into a helpless giggling mess that did not resemble the image of his reputation at all.

More and more water splashed out of the tub when Thoma began to slowly abandon his duty, beginning to use his fingers to tease and tickle the soap covered skin = which only made things easier for him.

“AhahAhah, n-no moHOHore, ThoOHohmaha!!”

“I’m almost done, my lord,” Thoma cooed, scratching the middle of Ayato’s foot and sending his master into a renewed fit of laughter.

By the time he was done, there was probably more water on the floor than inside the tub. Ayato could still feel the ticklish sensation running up his legs. Despite the tiredness from the ticklish assault, he could feel his body much less tense than when he had finished his work. 

He smiled, tilting his head to the side and watching the housekeeper picking up a dry towel. Ayato’s smile grew even larger once he noticed that Thoma was also smiling.

“Give me a moment, my lord, I’ll take you to your room and call someone to help me clean this mess,” the housekeeper muttered, wrapping the towel around Ayato’s body after helping his stand back on his feet and get out of the water.

“There is no need, Thoma…” Ayato spoke softly, looking down to his servant to meet his eyes, “you can’t delay my schedule, can you?”

The blonde chuckled softly, standing in front of Ayato and shaking his head. “No, my lord, I can’t.”

“Then let’s get going… we can deal with this mess later.”

“Yes, my lord.”

[kidneys-and-custard]

Okay, now I'm incredibly curious! What's the story behind Catherine Tate calling you a loser in front of a crowd (I'm guessing it was at a con?) And what's this party trick you learned from David Tennant and where/when did he teach it to you?!

I’m so glad you asked because I love to share these stories, especially the Catherine Tate one! I’m going to start with the David Tennant story because it happened first and is a little less exciting because I didn’t actually get to meet him.

Way back when I was 13 I was watching Doctor Who like every single day. One time I was rewatching Midnight and at some point in the episode the Tenth Doctor says the first 31 digits of the square root of pi. I was fascinated by that scene, I wondered if those were really the right numbers and if David Tennant actually had to memorized them, so I wrote the numbers down on my phone to fact check them later. Once I looked it up I found out the numbers were true. I looked at them written on my phone and I thought to myself I wish I could memorize that many numbers. When I looked away from my phone I felt like I could still see them in front of me. That had never happened to me before and it turns out I memorized the first 31 be accident. Because I was a little nerd I ended up pushing myself to memorize the first 100 digits (not all in one day though). I would write those digits over and over again in my math notebook and when my class found out about it, it sort of became a party trick. I can’t quite remember all 100 anymore without practice but I could probably still tell you the first 31 digits.

The Catherine Tate story was indeed at a con in Minnesota. She showed up late to her panel and was doing some crowd engagement by asking who was from the furthest away. Some people said California, someone else said Wisconsin (which was funny because that is just east of Minnesota). I waved and Catherine asked where I was from. I shouted out Sweden! because although I wasn’t just in Minnesota for the con, I am a permanent resident and citizen of Sweden. The crowd grew silent for a bit as it seemed like I had won… until one person got Catherine’s attention and spoke into the mic Finland and the crowd grew wild! My victory was swept away but the story continues. Catherine was like Wait, is Finland further away than Sweden? and the crowd shouted Yes! And then she said it, right into the microphone: Sweden, you loser!! People around me turned to look at me and laughed as I dramatically clutched my chest like I had a heart attack with a huge smile on my face.

Thank you for the ask!

[heknowshisherbs]

alright, yes, i confess, i'm actually in love with dewey finn (NO!) yes indeed

pairing: musical!dewey finn x reader warnings: drinking (and getting sick after), cursing word count: 3,070 author's note: hey y'all! this was the first fic i posted on the og heknowshisherbs, so it only felt fitting that it's the first fic i post on the new blog. i'm getting back into the swing of things so please forgive me if the formatting on my first few posts is a little fucked. i hope you enjoy!

Y/N: bRIIANNAN briainanan RBIANNA gota teelll u sooemthing Dewey: ? Y/N: brianana in eeed you to ansnwer EM noW Dewey: …U do know ur texting Dewey right? Y/N: hOWEDYOKNOW THAT whaxts im mltkaing abouyt Dewey: Y/N I have no idea what ur saying Y/N: nreedsu oyu toknow that il ove dwey som mocuh. i wanna kissihis satupid faccw Dewey: Are you drunk? Y/N: onnlyly if oyuwo wants me roi 33343333333333…….;;.;.d.d' Dewey: I’m coming to get you.

    That string of texts was the reason Dewey Finn found himself in his car, on his way to a dive bar, at 03:47. Y/N had tried to get him to come that night with her and her friend, Stella, but he told her he was working on music which was half true. He did need to write some songs for the kids, but he mostly tried to avoid the bar because he didn’t want to be there when she inevitably went home with another random guy. As long as she was safe he was happy but it made him incredibly jealous and he didn’t feel like stewing at the bar all night, so he said he wouldn’t go. He hadn’t heard from Y/N at all up until he got those texts; he didn’t need to see her to know that this was probably the drunkest she’s ever been. She was always kind of a lightweight and even at her drunkest she was (for the most part) aware of her surroundings, but these texts made absolutely no sense. He was afraid someone would pick her up and just leave with her because she wouldn’t be able to defend herself or even say no.

    When he pulled up to the Roadhouse it was still pretty packed, which wasn’t all that shocking for a Friday night. He arrived at the nick of time— someone was leaving. He immediately took their spot which, luckily, was right next to the door. He ran inside and started searching for Y/N, praying she was still there.

    Calling out “Y/N!” elicited no response, but once Dewey finally found her it became clear that he got no response because she most likely didn't even know her own name. She was flopping around the bar, babbling nonsense to random people. Some humored her for a bit, while others ignored her; Dewey was just glad nobody had tried to take her home.

    He gently reached out for her hand, and she almost toppled over after attempting to turn around. Y/N collapsed into his arms and looked up at him with a crooked smile, “Plleased to meeetcha!” Even blackout drunk, he thought she looked radiant.

    “Come on, Y/N, we’re going home, okay?” He tries to lead her towards the door, but she messily snatched her hand away.

    “‘M nOT going home with a sTRANGER!”

    People started glancing over at him, and he began to panic; the last thing he needed was to get arrested while on his obligatory best friend wellness check, “Hey, hey, hey! It’s me okay, it’s Dewey.” Her face remained blank, she knew nothing but booze. “Dewdrop? Y/N, I promise I’m not kidnapping you, I’m just gonna put you to bed."

    The word ‘bed’ seemed to help Y/N register what was happening, and she threw her arms up in triumph. “M geTIN LAID!” she cheered, which earned her confused looks from anyone within a seven foot radius. Maybe she didn’t register what was happening after all. Either way, it was enough to make her go with him willingly.

    If anyone else had been working that night there is no way in hell Dewey would’ve been able to leave with her in that state, but their favorite bartender, Kara, was on and she knew that the pair were best buds. Dewey locked eyes with her to confirm that he was taking Y/N home. Kara just shook her head, shouted “good luck!” over the bar, and turned back to the customer she’d been talking to.

    Dewey helped Y/N throw an arm around him so they could walk to his car, but they only made it about twenty feet before it became painfully clear that she couldn’t make it that far. He scooped her up and walked outside; she, all the while, was babbling about something Dewey couldn’t decipher. Her speech was so slurred at this point he wasn’t even sure there were actual words coming out of her mouth.

    He gently laid her in the backseat and buckled her in as best he could. She’d started nodding off at this point, which was probably for the best. It worried him slightly because he wouldn’t be able to check if she was breathing for the whole ride home, but he laid her on her side and hoped that would be enough.

    It was only a short ride to his apartment and, in that time, all he could do was pray she didn’t vomit until they made it inside. He lived on the third floor and knew there was no way in hell Y/N was making it up the stairs, even with help, so he had no choice but to carry her again. It was difficult to maneuver the narrow hallway and, while she didn’t feel all that heavy to him, he’d definitely gotten his workout for the next month out of the way.

    He stumbled through the door, almost dropping Y/N in the process. He quickly got her upright, and before either of them had time to register what was happening, she’d vomited all over her dress and the floor.

    Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Dewey really wanted to keep her in her clothes; they were best friends and she’d seen him in his underwear loads of times but this was different. Dewey gently sat her down on the ground before running into his room to rummage through his drawers and find a pair of pajama pants and an old shirt.

    When he made it back to the kitchen, Y/N was passed out on the floor, and she’d thrown up again from the looks of it. He closed his eyes, let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and made his way over to her. Once he was sure she was still breathing, he tried to slip the dress off as gently as possible. It wasn’t too difficult to do, and once it was entirely off he was grateful she chose to wear that leather dress that always made his heart stop; as disgusting as it sounded, her vomit wasn’t able to seep through the fabric so her bra and panties remained clean. He felt much better about helping her change now, and it was only a matter of time before she donned Dewey’s slightly too big clothes.

    He cleaned the mess, ran over her face with a wet rag to get any remaining vomit off, and sat on the floor with her for a moment to gather his thoughts. She looked so peaceful. He ran a hand through her hair and smiled to himself. 

    Dewey had loved her for a while, and he’d always wanted to tell her how he felt, but things just weren’t that simple. What they had going was good, he couldn’t let his feelings get in the way. He’d resorted to pining from afar and supporting her romantic endeavors endlessly, no matter how much it hurt.

    “Nngh…” she mumbled a bit in her sleep, before her eyes slowly opened. “Don’t feel good. Doooooo not.”

    “Are you gonna be sick again?”

    “Mmmmm…. I dunno.”

    'I dunno' was not a good enough answer for Dewey to consciously let her sleep in his bed. Even with a bucket next to her, there was no guarantee her aim would be spot on, and he didn’t want to take the chance. Cleaning your best friend's vomit off tile flooring was one thing, but cleaning a vomit soaked carpet was another thing; even Dewey Finn has limits.

    He helped lead her to the bathroom and sat her next to the toilet, silently thanking whatever deity had given him the motivation to clean his bathroom that afternoon. Upon sitting down again, she immediately vomited, and all Dewey could do was sit behind her, hold her hair, and wish he could make her feel better.

    After about an hour she’d finally stopped being sick, and an hour after that it was almost 08:00 and he could feel drowsiness overtaking him. She’d been asleep on his chest for quite some time and he hated moving her because he knew he’d never get this opportunity again. He bunched up a clean towel and put it on the floor for her to use as a pillow before leaving the bathroom. In an ideal world, he would’ve stayed with her but his bathroom room was far too small for that.

    Then again, in an ideal world they’d be together.

    He laid in bed for about ten minutes before he decided he’d feel better if he was closer to her in case she needed anything. He took a pillow and blanket, and laid himself down on the floor right outside the bathroom door and let the sound of Y/N's soft snoring lull him to sleep.

…

    When Y/N woke up, her eyes were practically glued together with a layer of crust and makeup from the night before. Her head was pounding, and the first thing she did once her eyes were fully open is stick her head right back in the toilet and vomit. Once she's convinced there’s nothing more to puke up she disregarded any logic or sense of cleanliness and pressed her head against the cool toilet seat. It’s only then that the fog clears— just slightly, but enough for her to register where she is. She recognized the unusual, mismatched tiling on the floor to be Dewey’s, but had absolutely no idea how she ended up on the floor of his bathroom. He wasn’t even at the Roadhouse last night.

    She wracks her brain for what could have possibly happened the night before but her mind is entirely blank. She remembered leaving her apartment, taking two shots, and then the rest of the night is a blur. How did she get to Dewey’s place? Did Stella drop her off? She noticed her phone sitting on the counter and shakily reached for it, hoping it could give her some answers. It was 14:37, and the only notification she had was an unanswered text from Stella, who asked where the hell she went last night. Evidently, she hadn't dropped Y/N off at Dewey's place. She quickly responded with “i’m fine, lyk later. puking” before checking her conversation with Dewey. 

    She couldn’t decipher a single text message she sent him, and from the looks of it, he’d been in the same boat. All she was able to gather is that she trying to reach Brianna; it wasn’t until she reached the jumbled message reading "il ove dwey som mocuh” that she realized what she’d done. This brought on a whole new wave of nausea and she quickly found herself, again, retching into the toilet. 

    She decided then and there she needed to leave as soon as she could. She was still a bit drunk so driving was definitely out of the question (she didn’t even know where the hell her car was), but she didn’t live too far and assuming she could stand up she just might be able to walk back home without Dewey ever knowing. She’d leave him a note. Using the edge of the bathtub for support, she shakily stood up. It took a while, and the nausea came back and slapped her in the face as soon as she did, but she remained standing without vomiting for a few moments. Y/N decided it would be okay to try to leave. She made a break for it and opened the door as carefully as she could hoping that Dewey wouldn’t hear it when all of a sudden-

    “Ow!”

    Y/N froze. Looking down from the crack in the door, she could see the top of Dewey’s head— he had been right outside the door all night. If her situation hadn’t been such shit, she’d have found it endearing, but right now all she was worried about was their inevitable confrontation and the potential concussion she just gave him. She slammed the door shut.

    “Uh, I’m out of the way now if you wanna come out...” She wanted nothing more than to remain hidden in the bathroom but he knew she was awake, and there was nothing to do now but go out and face him. 

    Once the door was open, she finally got a good look at him. His hair is sticking out in more directions than she can count and the bags under his eyes are dark. Y/N can only imagine what he went through last night trying to get her here. He was wearing his favorite AC/DC shirt and sweats, which clued her into the fact that she wasn't wearing the dress you left home in last night. She fiddled with the fabric at the hem of the shirt before looking up at him “Dewey, did we-?” 

    She didn’t want to imply anything, but she had no other logical explanation for where her clothes could have gone. Her voice sounds gravelly and her throat feels like sandpaper but that’s something he’ll just have to get past. 

    Dewey's eyes widened in panic, and he ran a hand through his hair “No, no! God, no!” He nodded towards a plastic grocery bag tied up by the door, “You didn’t even know who I was when I picked you up, I would never… I was just gonna let you sleep it off in my bed but when we got here you threw up all over yourself. I-I didn’t see anything, I promise. I just couldn’t let you sit in your own puke all night… sorry.”

    “No, oh my God, Dewey, don’t apologize!” Y/N felt awful, she must have put him through hell last night. Sure, he was her best friend, but that went far beyond what she’d ever have expected him to do for her, “I’m so sorry you were stuck dealing with me last night, you can literally pick the movie for every movie night we have ever again. I’ll help you clean up once my headache dies down a little.”

    He smiled a little bit, “There’s nothing to clean up, it’s okay. You should eat.”

    “I’m not hungry.”

    “I know, but you should still eat,” he made his way towards the fridge and took out a carton of orange juice, “You can have some of this and I’ll make you toast. I’ll make you more food if you’re hungry later but for now we should see if you can even keep that down.”

    “Yeah,” she mumbled. “Thanks.”

    As he’s getting the glasses for their orange juice, she felt her panic start to rise. She knew they needed to talk about the text, but he hadn’t brought it up.

    The silence is deafening, and it all but consumes Y/N as she watches the orange juice fill the glass, and before she knows it, there’s toast in front of her. She knew she wouldn’t be able to even consider eating without vomiting until she got this over with. “ImsorryIdrunktextedyou.”

    “’s okay,” he mumbled between bites of toast, “You could barely function as a human being, I didn’t really take anything you said to heart. I’m not entirely convinced you knew who I was. ‘M just glad you’re okay.” Dewey smiles up at her, eyes twinkling, and her heart melts.

    “Dewey, I-”

    “Y/N, I’m not kidding. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re my best friend, I promise I didn’t take any of it seriously.” Dewey could all but hear his heart shatter, and he just prayed she couldn’t hear it too.

    She bit her lip. Jesus fuck, she just wanted him to understand without having to say it out loud. “I um… I know you don’t think I knew what I was saying and uh... for the most part I didn’t, but that text, um, t-the text was um. I feel like that when I’m sober too.” 

    Y/N struggled getting her words out, and although she knew Dewey was trying his hardest to keep his reaction hidden, his nostrils flared. He never notices he’s doing it but she always did— it's a nervous tick of his. Normally it’s really cute, but right now it just made her want to curl up in a ball and never face him again. "N-Nothing has to change, it’s just… I don’t know. Fuck!” 

    With a loud groan, her head was in her hands, blocking out the light (and Dewey), “I just. Don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

    No response.

    “D-Dewey? Are you gonna say something?”

    “I-” he faltered and she prepared herself for the worst. “How long have you felt this way?”

    “What?”

“Howlonghaveyoubeeninlovewithme?”

    “O-Oh, uh… a year. M-Maybe longer.” Y/N finally looked up at him and he was just staring at her, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide. She scooted herself away from the counter and mumbles a quick “thanks for taking care of me last night” before making her second break for the door.

    She only got halfway through the kitchen before she was whipped around and found herself in Dewey’s arms. Shit. He was practically crushing her, and she genuinely couldn't tell if everything felt more intense because she was so hungover or if he was really using that much force. It was probably a bit of both.

    “I love you too,” he mumbled into her hair. 

    Wait. What? 

    “Fuck, Y/N, I’ve loved you for so long and I thought I didn’t stand a chance. And then I got that text and I just— Jesus, when I got to the Roadhouse and saw how trashed you were I didn’t think there was any way you could’ve known what you were saying but… you mean it?”

    She inhaled deeply, forehead still pressed into his chest, “Of course I do, you doofus. How could I not?”

    He squeezed her just a little bit tighter before placing the gentlest of kisses on the top of her head, “I’m really glad you got drunk last night.”

    She laughed quietly, a short huff of air out of her nose that warmed Dewey’s chest through his shirt, “Me too."

[thatfreshi]

"Unsavory Purposes" (Uni AU P. 4)

No, I didn't write a filler part. How dare you ask me that? I would never write fluffy filler bc I want all my little guys to be happy. Anyways, Gale intro finally!!!! Also we get to see the only other ship I have planned for this fic series...

@justporo

You, Shadow and Lae get breakfast after shooting the shit for a couple hours. The smell of eggs and potatoes fills the air as the three of you reach the bottom floor of the dorm. It's bustling with people, all trying to get somewhere. It's Sunday, and classes start tomorrow, so people are scrambling to get their textbooks before they go on backorder. The three of you part ways to put together a plate, and eventually come back together at a booth next to a window.

"Ugh, I was enjoying having a break. Back to the grind for me I suppose."

Shadowheart sighs, moving cheesy eggs around on her plate.

"You love it, don't act like you're not a workaholic."

Before they can start arguing again, a stressed man comes over to talk to Shadowheart.

"Is it true? Did Astarion really tell your entire floor to come to me if they have an issue?"

"Oh Gale, it's sweet that you're even asking. Of course he did."

Gale puts his head in his hands.

"I'm going to kill him. Mind if I sit Shadow?"

"Not at all. Tav, this is Gale, artist extraordinaire, TA for Ms. Mystra."

"Yes, it is indeed I. Thank you for the wondrous introduction Shadow."

Finally, someone's major here has piqued your interest.

"Oh, what do you study?"

"All kinds of things, but my thesis is going to be a series of paintings."

Lae'zel rolls her eyes.

"The arts. So silly, what a waste."

She stabs her eggs with her fork.

"Why, are you thinking of majoring in some kind of art?"

You shrug.

"Honestly, I don't really know yet."

Shadowheart almost spits out her water.

"You... you don't know your major? This place is going to eat you alive."

She and Gale laugh to themselves, but it doesn't bother you. She's not wrong after all, it's odd that you haven't picked a major at this point. There are just too many good options.

"Well, you could be like Lae'zel and study something boring like history."

Shadow playfully nudges her arm, to which she grumbles.

"I didn't come here for a degree idiot, I came here to run."

It's silent for a moment, before Gale solemnly speaks up.

"How is it by the way? Your leg?"

She almost seems sad, but quickly shifts her expression.

"It's fine."

And that's the end of that conversation. Gale doesn't pry any further, but it clearly has him concerned. You realize you actually don't know what's wrong with her leg, other than that it's stiff when she walks. Before you can ask what happened, Shadowheart interrupts.

"Holy shit. Who is that Gale?!"

You turn inconspicuously to where she's looking, and you see the skater from last night, Karlach.

"Oh, she just transferred. Karlach. Apparently the best wrestler we've had in years."

"She looks like she could carry me to safety..."

You smirk.

"Shadow, you're staring at her."

She quickly averts her gaze, blushing.

"Right. My bad."

It's too late though, because the wrestler is now walking towards your table.

"Hey there! Sup Gale?"

"Nothing much Karlach. The dorm treating you well?"

"Oh hell yeah. I just thought I'd come over because your friend was staring at me, didn't know if she needed something."

The woman's voice is a little playful, almost as if she knows Shadow was staring for... unsavory purposes.

"No- I... I'm sorry. You're fine, I don't need anything. I mean, I need some things, like food and water and-"

Gale turns to her, mouthing something along the lines of 'shut up.'

"Well, alright. Good to see you Gale! Off to get some breakfast."

Karlach then winks at Shadowheart, before sauntering off. You're in shock from the massive flirting that just happened in front of you, and Gale is as well. Lae'zel is ignoring it all, still stabbing away at her eggs.

"Shadow... how did you even manage to pull that off."

"I have no idea because I certainly panicked! But dear Goddess do I NEED her to crush me."

You and Gale laugh.

"What! I'm serious, she could destroy me with those thighs and I would thank her."

"You're going to scare off your new friend Shadowheart. Tav, I apologize on her behalf. She doesn't know how to act around buff women."

"It's alright! I think it's sweet. You two would be cute."

"We would be, wouldn't we..."

[quicksilverdrabbles]

Riften 'Guard': Before I let you into Riften, you need to pay the visitor's tax.

Gaia: Hm? A tax?

Riften 'Guard': For the privilege of entering the city.

Gaia: *looking up at the stone walls of Riften* ... I hardly think Riften is worth a visitor's tax.

Riften 'Guard': Are you insulting my city, lass?

Gaia: I would never, sir. It's just that, of all the cities I have been to, which amounts to a total of four so far, I would say the only one actually worth a tax would be the likes of Whiterun.

Riften 'Guard': Sounds like an insult to me. Either way, no tax, no entry.

Inigo: How exactly did you get into Riften last time, my friend?

Kaidan: She, er.. Found another 'entry point'. Charged through Black Briar Meadery.

Riften 'Guard': You what-

Gaia: I see no issue. I was not trespassing, I visited during their opening hours.

Lucien: And got us banned.

Kaidan: The mead isn't that good anyways.

Gaia: There is no reason for Riften to enforce a tax on its visitors. I am convinced this is what humans call a 'shakedown'.

Riften 'Guard': Call it what you want. Give me the gold or leave.

Gaia: ... No, I don't think I will. Goodbye. *turns and walks away, the others following*

Taliesin: Wow. That was pathetic.

Gaia: I am not skilled in Speechcraft. I am told my voice is very monotonous, so it is hard for me to persuade people.

Kaidan: I've heard you change the pitch of your voice to convey other emotions, though.

Gaia: That is not supposed to happen.

Taliesin: Do you at least have another plan to get in? You said we have business here.

Gaia: ... How fast is your running speed?

Taliesin: ... That depends.

~

Team Dragonborn: *thrown out of Black Briar Meadery by Indaryn*

Indaryn: AND STAY OUT!

Kaidan: Well that didn't work.

Lucien: Lady Black-Briar is going to have us on her hit list at this point.

Gaia: You said you can run fast.

Taliesin: Not when I'm being chased by Riften guards in an enclosed space!

Inigo: We need another plan. I do not want to give even a rusty Septim to that arrogant gate guard. He did not even smell like a guard.

Lucien: Guards have a smell?

Gaia: Rerouting... The only way I can see forward is to give him the money. None of us passed his Speech check.

Kaidan: Still lost on what that means.

Taliesin: Oh shut up, you tried to scare the rat into submission and made him angry.

Xelzaz: *walking across the Riften docks, writing in a journal, not noticing the team sitting on the floor yet*

Kaidan: At least I didn't scream like a wee lass when a guard grabbed me.

Taliesin: I did NOT scream like a little girl, you brute!

Gaia: Your vocal pitch came very close to that of a child.

Inigo: Indeed. I thought someone had accidentally kidnapped a child.

Lucien: Do you think we could scale the walls without anyone noticing?

Gaia: No. Regular patrols are routed along the top every hour.

Inigo: Damn.

Xelzaz: *trips over Inigo's tail and falls over* Ow!

Inigo: Ouch! Hey, watch the tail!

Xelzaz: Oh dear, I am so sorry! I'm afraid I was rather lost in thought, I didn't see your... er.. *frowns, looking at everyone on the ground* You.. What are you all doing down here anyways?

Gaia: We were forcibly removed from the premises.

Xelzaz: Why?

Lucien: We tried to bypass the visitor's tax at the gates and enter through the Meadery.

Xelzaz: Ah, you must mean that rather irritable guard. Yes, I encountered him too.

Kaidan: Yeah, well, we don't want to have to give money to someone like him, so we're trying to find a different way.

Xelzaz: That seems like a horrible hassle to go through to save a few Septims.

Lucien: Ahaaa, well, to put it bluntly..

Gaia: Our combined funds are approximately 86 Septims. We would be broke if we gave him his tax.

Xelzaz: I see... Might I offer a suggestion?

Taliesin: I think at this point they would do anything but pay him. Go on.

Xelzaz: I recently brewed a fresh batch of Telvanni Bug Musk. I would be glad to offer it for your use to enter the city.

Inigo: Telvanni what-

Lucien: Telvanni??? Like House Telvanni of Morrowind??

Xelzaz: Ah yes, I suppose I neglected to introduce myself. I am Xelzaz, a Lawman of House Telvanni.

Taliesin: ?? But you are an Argonian. I didn't realize they allowed non-natives to ascend the ranks of House.

Xelzaz: It is a bit uncommon, but not unheard of. I happen to be rather competent in my selected fields of study.

Kaidan: Those being?

Xelzaz: Alchemy and magic study.

Kaidan: Ah, of course.

Gaia: Kaidan does not like magic.

Xelzaz: Hmph. Like all Nords, it seems.

Kaidan: I'm not a Nord.

Lucien: It is rather ironic, though. Taliesin and I both use magic as a primary combat resource.

Xelzaz: I'm rather partial to fire magic myself.

Kaidan: Egh, even worse.

Gaia: I believe we were talking about this 'Bug Musk'?

Xelzaz: Ah, yes. It will make you more attractive to other people. In turn, they become more agreeable and are more willing to do things for you. Such as, say, overlook a visitor's tax?

Lucien: Oh, brilliant! We'll take it!

Xelzaz: *pulls the bottle away from Lucien* Ah, forgive me, but I'm afraid this comes with a bit of a favor on my end. Call it bargaining, if you will.

Gaia: Yes, I assumed there would be a catch to this. What is it you require, then?

Xelzaz: See, I am actually on my way to High Rock to meet with a superior of mine. I could have travelled by boat, but this is my first time leaving Morrowind in quite some time, so I am looking to travel before I arrive at High Rock. Therefore, I am looking for a 'guide', of sorts. Someone who may know the land better than I.

Taliesin: All that for some bug musk?

Xelzaz: The musk is not all I would offer. As I said, I am a very competent alchemist, as well as a chef. I can cook and make potions, and I am also an avid fighter.

Kaidan: Well, it wouldn't be the first time we were hired as tour guides.

Gaia: Correct.

Lucien: Ahaa..

Taliesin: It seems like the best choice, right now.

Gaia: A new path has been revealed. Probability of Success: 92%. We accept.

Xelzaz: Excellent. Here is the Telvanni Bug Musk. *hands the bottle over to Gaia* All you have to do is apply some to your wrists and neck. The effects will last for an hour.

Gaia: Thank you, Xelzaz.

Xelzaz: My pleasure. If I may, what was it a moment ago when you spoke the probability of success? Your voice changed.

Gaia: I am a Dwemer Gynoid. Not human, or elf. A machine. My name is Gaia.

Kaidan: Oh, you've finally ditched that Greeting Protocol thing?

Gaia: I felt it caused some discourse to onlookers.

Taliesin: I think Calcelmo just about fainted when you told him you were a machine.

Xelzaz: A Dwemer Gynoid? How interesting. Your appearance is uncanny to that of the recorded appearance of Snow Elves.

Gaia: They were the model for my design, yes.

Inigo: Does this mean we can get off of the floor now?

Kaidan: Yep, up and at 'em. Time to go and get that guard to let us in this damn city.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

consider this a free space to expound upon [rian as shown on screen being Closetedly Trans], if you so wish

oh yeah worth taking a swing at it at a little more length, even if i'm bound to forget things or not have these Comprehensive Answers the first time around

also tricky b/c it's like, truly it's [handshake] with pointing at winston as a fellow autiste even as no way does the writing have that intention w/any directness/explicitness, much less thoroughness to its thoughts. Vibes Based but where it's like well it's not illegitimate when people are able to attune to / Recognize a je ne sais quoi lol, like people able to do so irl without having to form a Reasoning about it or ask directly or what have you....definitely relevant from the start that with earliest rian it was like I Think This Person Is Bisexual, The Actor At Least which turns out to be accurate & it's like, the je ne sais quoi, a subtle vivacity perhaps in the spark of [not cishet agenda'd with it] and knowing that like, if billions wanted to tell you someone was bisexual (or, say, autistic) they would not go the route of "you can perhaps sense it in their joie de vivre" even as that's indeed actually relevant lol. and like bisexual haircut and sweaters idk. which felt like a somewhat less [giving closeted trans] time, also relevantly, b/c said Stifling Tension of rian's gender being held back & staved off once the [rip to Not Simply More Often Used As Plot Device; Potential To Not Just Be Another Axe Capper rian with that post hiatus shift of 5x08 & forevermore] downgrade hit is like, a Decrease in that joie de vivre. rian never gets to be as characterful or lively or Not Miserable from 5x08 on like, just as kind of a more general feeling i had even from the same casual assessment that had it be like "actor bisexual maybe" & like As Usual, if only this seemed particularly on purpose, but the pall over rian from 5x08 on sure didn't seem to truly let up when rian was supposed to be Just Chilling or having a good time rather than particularly suffering, & lord knows in the end it's supposed to be like oh she's Been fine enough here, oh what a difficult choice to perhaps stay forever or leave, & so on. like no way is that simmering energy that like rian is never actually just chilling nor actually having a great time Only Deliberate on billions' part

also obviously the phenomenon that while Talking About Billions amongst ourselves, rian specifically would get inadvertently they/them/their'd now & then while other characters largely did not, especially no other One character. again with the [recognizing a je ne sais quoi] like ending up unsurprised when it turns out the actor is presumably nonbinary as well after it was like Well there seems to be a vibe, & even if it's like no this person isn't queer or isn't autistic so far as they know, like well it's a compliment & an honor for that to be anything but "well of course" lol

it also just kept feeling like whatever the format is like this is the butchest a woman can be before billions gets scared, while always having that energy that it should be getting to Go Farther but being held back. like being on the verge of coming out & getting more gnc with it but hovering on the Supposedly Cis side of possible boundaries of that. e.g. how rian's makeup is so Relatively subtle for [characters who are posited to be women] that Billions Chatting involved going "hmm is rian's makeup supposed to be diegetic? are we ever supposed to think she might not be wearing makeup?" like on the verge & yet there was always Just enough visibility to like eye & lip makeup that it was like, yeah if they're trying to make it look like she might not be wearing makeup they're doing a bad job of it / way too scared, truly i presume they intend like, yes, rian always wears makeup. while i'm also like ugh if only rian could be wearing makeup so Obvious it starts to be "wrong." while now & then there's remarks out of nowhere given to rian about like ah my skincare routine oh i need to think i Look Good, normatively, where what's "weird" is supposed to be a Woman even mentioning that thought, effort, & process goes into Looking Normatively Good(tm) rather than pretending she couldn't exist any other way. little a gnc in that way but again accidentally, & rian also Can't exist any other way, she Will noticeably have eye shadow every day of her life at the office

meanwhile just to my tastes like i was never a fan of whatever shirt style they latched on to for rian there like, hip hooray when it was more of a sweater again vs whatever like mashup of polo meets buttonup meets For Her(tm) meets idek what. but that again like personal tastes aside (there could readily be completely different looks i disliked as much or more lol) it just also seems like another one of those like "As Gnc As Billions Can Get Without Getting Scared" moments like ah not as femineminem as it can possibly get, but god knows it's For Women so don't worry. also relevantly not just rian Always Wearing Pants but that when they made us have another casino episode in s7 & everyone has to get fancy, not only is rian still Definitely Wearing Pants like hmm but that like again the ways the show seems to get nervous & strain & reach for "ohh but reassure us of some Gender Conformity though" only adds to the feeling of like [this is a closeted trans person] who could be getting nervous & being like "you see, rian wearing pants & a jacket style Fancier Outfit isn't too gnc if it's got the velvet style texture and is Purple, feminine enough that none of our [characters posited to be men] could wear a purple suit & have that be Straightforwardly, Unquestionably epic, rather than like either a joke (at their expense) or else someone going like wow what a power move b/c he's so Brave (they would not do this)"

longer hair felt this way too lol like the stylings we got being Pulled Back (bun) Pulled Back (ponytail) Pulled Back (whatever it is like hair from the top & sides secured at the back of the top of the head) Just Loose like all of that Pulled Back giving hints of "if her hair was Plenty shorter" like to the degree you have to fight the stylist to the death to get it cut like that b/c it's Too Gnc, rather than the bisexual / More Comfortable feeling of the chin length hair like again sigh personal tastes, rip to this 5x08 & beyond loss as well lol....and then the last option just potentially overlapping with like, when you simply bother with hair styling as little as possible, b/c efforts to reach some goal of "it looks how you'd like it to look" only come up short. which is how her whole General Look At All Times feels, little a gnc, coming up short as it's like ah but she's got Normal makeup & Long Hair & clothes styled & cut for Women that would be too effete(tm) for a Man so it's gnc enough, surely

and all the while like this damper of General Unhappiness (sort of malaise....) as the character never gets to actually get Too gnc, nor like act according to her own motivation as a role not completely fenced in by [congrats on getting used as a plot device more often than other roles], nor be a funny little guy quant with winston b/c she's supposed to be too "correct" (& prominent, solely as a plot device than in the character's own right like, Ever) to be a funny little guy, & winston is supposed to be too "incorrect" to Not be inferior, so rian has to, as all winners must, hate this autistic friend coworker even as billions is like, no, thinking that autistic person is your funny little personal possession to Use & Discard how you want is nice & caring. another layer of misery. as winston is also of course gnc, but more in the Joie De Vivre style like when they were more actually parallel & proximate in rian's first few pre hiatus episodes so she was also less miserable & like, still had a Gnc energy as well, but More Chill, less like becoming more closeted / reined in towards "correctness," which sure feels like the very shift from 5x08 on that isn't likely to be So Deliberate on billions' part, rather than nah this is a nice Ascent, though with some conflict to be sure. she loves the makeup routine every morning, don't worry

meanwhile just per examples like having broken out this pic the other day i was like And Here Comes Rian, Closetedly, uncomfortably, aptly holding hands with the discomfort of rian having to be an asshole to winston & like what Emotiveness can you give this role that isn't giving the energy of like fighting for its life being held under the surface drowning. which, as ever, like well it would be a ton of fun if it was On Purpose: getting worse, it being too late to turn back, making the choice as soon as its presented like sure i'd Love to be the normal one and be the bully, struggling with the choice but ultimately betraying the Cost of, say, having basic respect much less affection for your weird [bullying target] coworkers, loser geek whatever style but just with Everyone advising / encouraging oh leave that association behind, &/or that Influence behind ofc if billions also let winston talk for longer ever, & just sticking to it like well that's career success then idc....anything sure could've meant anything but here we are, & billions was like ah no :) it was just an ascent all along

like it should be going harder in some direction lol but the look is afraid to, just giving the feel of supposed safely gnc Yet Not Too Much looks sort of thrown together with as little chance of holding as tmc does without the [you can't have a fund without a scapegoat] & yknow just like, that even with billions not deigning to use winston as plot device as often as rian & thus at least giving him a little tiny bit more breathing room in his otherwise [punching bag] &/or [background character] material (& in their never intending to force winston to be a Correct Winner role anyway, unlike for rian. who was correct winner from the start vs winston's origin as supposed detested loser) is enough to spare him either from being held back by the scruff of the neck even in what he Does get, billions gets scared & will indulge Plenty in the joys of dehumunizing treatment for him but like, winston can't break out bmc level Not Fitting In things lest he pull focus from people who matter in the 5 sec he gets to draw a breath & say something before getting shitted on, or distract from the correct experience of Vicarious Revelry in shitting on him b/c like oh but ableism at disabled people would be Impolite. dollar bill can yell the r word b/c we'd never say aloud "winston is autistic" & wags can violate whatever boundaries he wants b/c he's wags & winston's winston, the sort of person we can sense Deserves That. which is also rian but like this is due to being a woman & if we let her go :( then that's that on Respect. can't disrespect her when she's So Epic (incrementally losing hope of any particular traits that aren't like, the accidental closeted trans character, the most abusive coworker) like the Quants Duo parallels / Conversation between these roles sure never ceases, just that we get both sides of the tragedy of how billions thinks abt its Losers / Winners binary, and its gender binary, and [everyone here is neurotypicals] also binary. less & less room for either's joie de vivre when like, even as winston got to truly keep that extra room he got from the start for his Loserness, rian & everyone else is just getting more awful when directing any attention at him at all, as billions shifts into like "yeah the most we'd focus is a redux of Vicarious Killing / whatever power trip you feel like a la 3x03, only a plot device in that the plot is 'don't we all love wags doing this & wish we were him'" & meanwhile also giving up on rian being a character anywhere in there like no, general asshole, basically an axe capper, always planned to be here forever until she arbitrarily easily peaces out for a reason forced into the episode that doesn't make sense but what else were we ever gonna do? explore anything? like how a character is an autistic person we can supposedly only imagine relishing using & hurting? like how there might even be more than one trans person in a room at the same time ever? like, as always, the thoughts are in progress & noncomprehensive but like, it also just indeed feeling like rian's Closeted Trans energy is just not viable either, along with billions biding its time a couple eps before winston must die, along with [taylip is so Peers & Not Cishet that billions gets scared] like aahh no time for that....

another last minute quant duo pic like yay sweater & hair down lol giving the feeling of More of a [just like. whatever] vibe that's More comfortable for it b/c effort at allegedly more gnc performance only makes one more aware of the dissonance / Problems there. but oh whew it's pinkish & she doesn't look as much like someone Not Wearing Makeup as winston so we're safe, i'm sure. rip to the potential for the quants to Actually be square pegs together, fitting like "here, they Do stand together as a unit, you see" & then temper rian doubling down on that by lashing out at winston for his cues to please treat him better. meanwhile winston and his Also unusual outfits that he seems more comfortable with at least to the point it doesn't feel like it's only a matter of time before he Must change it up. whereas rian's more chill looks are more chill but also in a [i'm just going to wrestle less with gender today] resignation kind of way. the Quant Duo Autistic / Gnc / Trans Actually "Weird" Peership being reined in last second too like oh don't worry :) rian hurts him. billions is never gonna break out of having its Winners and having them have to be Better than the losers and express that in the only way that counts: having them dehumanize those inferior parties & show they have the power to act accordingly....but it's like, i think they could've imagined letting, say, a character they consider a woman like not have that makeup on every now & then. could've taken off a bra to wrestle & had armpit hair. getting stuck with the Tension of billions considering weirdness inferiority & then it's like aahh eesh Another trans person?? something it wouldn't consider b/c like oh but can't you just be a woman who wears pants :) Mitigate any queerness please :) ahh can't people who act weird be bringing it upon themselves & only if they present their Disability License will we be embarrassed & totally respectful now. how Couldn't a woman be without question sexually available to a Correct Man & without question beyond the insult of an autistic guy's sexuality & only question the textually queer sexuality possibilities b/c uhhh haha it's just Too epic, sorry, a pattern with taylor's sexuality being so discreetly overlooked, You're Welcome....Billions Imagine: rian gets to be a guy (& more gnc at any time) & be winston's friend & be Actually at odds ever with anything going on around here in a way that meant anything enough to really affect it & not end up with rian being a fully exciseable element despite all the intended alleged importance & meaning i'm sure, in being granted the heavenly rewards deserved by being an asshole axe capper but also a woman. winston also exciseable but he wasn't supposed to be important, & you lose out on so much Flair from his presence in the meantime whereas like rian's best contribution just for Being There is having that [closed trans character] tension, as once left entirely to her own devices it's just like, yep, basically another generic axe cap style presence, great. could've at least taken off eye shadow for this & like worn a tee once

[fandomsandshipping1]

For a Friend

Alright I've got more writing but this time it's for someone. It consists of Peggy and August standing up for @askthelovenest's S/I, Mrs. Alicen Mallow.

“At least you were able to climb the social ladder by marrying the marshal.” China Princess smugly stated. As Alicen turned away, someone cleared their throat behind China. Standing there was a very displeased looking, blue and white fairy winged, woman.

“I believe the only one who’s done any climbing, has been the marshal. Lady Alicen seems a far greater upgrade from-” She frowned, looking over China with a look best described as disgust. “-Whoever you are.”

“Whoever I am?” China demanded. “I am a princess, thank you.”

“A princess?” The woman let out a light laugh. “And you think that is supposed to impress me? I have never heard of you.” She added, with a slight lift of her head.

“Hey Auggy? What’s going on?” Another, slightly shorter, woman, who was strangely wearing a suit, came over.

“Your friend has dared to step in for her.” China gestured back at Alicen. The suited woman frowned.

“And who are you?” She asked. China frowned.

“I am China Princess.” She replied. The suited woman thought for a little, before shaking her head.

“Never heard of you.”

“Never heard of me?” China scoffed. “How have you never heard of China Princess?”

“Look, chick, I’m dating a man who defended royalty as pretty much a living. Compared to them, you’re nothing but a cheap, likely plastic, little doll.” The suited woman stated. “Especially if we’re also comparing you to Mrs. Alicen Mallow.” She added. This caused China to let out an offended gasp.

“How dare you.” She spat. “I won’t take this lip from commoners.”

“Commoners?” “Auggy” replied, with a sharp laugh. “I am a queen, actually.”

“Well I’ve never heard of you.” China huffed.

“Then we must be in very different circles.” “Auggy” replied.

“Yeah, especially if you’ve never heard of August MacBeth.” The suited woman agreed, before glancing around the crowd. “Do you have a date here, then? You must be a plus one from some lower circle.” She added, causing China to look more offended.

“A plus one!” She huffed. “If anything you’re the “plus one”.” She stated.

“Actually-” August reached into her purse and pulled out not one, but two, invitations. “-We were invited.”

“Unlike you, I’m guessing.” The suited woman added.

“Oh! You impudent-” China was cut off by a very sharp frown from August, a crackle of lightning dancing across her fingertips. A low rumble of thunder could be heard from somewhere, even though the weather was supposed to be clear.

“I would recommend you not to finish that sentence. There is only so much vileness I can tolerate from someone.” The woman stated, her voice and face both stormy and dark. “And, for your sake, I recommend you leave lady Alicen alone, understood?” She asked, her eyes cutting, cold, and dark. China took a step back.

“Fine.” She frowned before leaving. August then looked over at the suited woman.

“You had very good timing, Peggy.”

“Yeah.” She nodded, then looked at Alicen. “You okay Alicen?” She asked.

“Yeah but… you two didn’t need to step in.” Alicen replied. August softly frowned.

“Yes, we did. You, Lady Alicen, are one of our friends.” She stated.

“Yeah! And that means we’re going to step in if someone’s giving you problems!” Peggy agreed, with a sharp nod. “Hell, I’d have kicked that tiny trashy little fake antique’s ass, had it come to that.” She added, causing August to sigh and shake her head. Alicen couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Thankfully it didn’t have to come to that… I do appreciate the sentiment though.” This caused Peggy to grin.

“Hey, that’s what friends are for, isn’t it?” She stated.

“Indeed.” August agreed. “Now, we still have a lot of time left, so let’s enjoy the rest of the night.”

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Sicktember #18

Prompt: “Wear your coat, you’ll catch a cold.”

Fandom/OCs: Pride and Prejudice (Lizzie and Darcy)

Words: 970

Sicknario inspo: Stoic person admitting sickness from this post, 'I need to sneeze most urgently' from this post, and shoulders slumping after each sneeze from this post.

Author’s comments/background: It was a breath of fresh air to write P&P again. I feel like it’s been forever. Over a year, for sure. I was actually at a loss of what to do with these two until that stoic person sicknario crossed my dash just as I was getting ready to write this, and here we are. Short, sweet, married people shenanigans ahead. 

~~~***~~~

Something was wrong with Mr. Darcy, but Elizabeth wasn't entirely certain what it could be. He would never be called loquacious, but over the past week he'd been nearly silent and always seemed to be unfocused and distant in addition. He had had no quarrels that she knew of and business was going well. It puzzled her greatly, and she intended to discern the cause of his behavior. 

In the end, it wasn't terribly difficult to solve. As a rule she didn't disturb him while he was in his study writing letters, but he happened to be staring out the window as she passed that afternoon, and when he didn't return to his work after a handful of moments she knocked politely. He turned and greeted her, his expression neutral. 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Darcy. I just wanted to look in on you, since you seemed distracted. You haven't been quite yourself these last days. Is there anything the matter?"

She approached him as she spoke, and when she was but an arm length away, he suddenly shivered harshly, closing his eyes with a small gasp. When their eyes met again, she thought she detected the hazy, weary look of someone ill, and at once the pieces clicked together. Nor did her husband deny what he knew she saw. In fact, quite the contrary:

"As a matter of fact, I feel I may be coming down with something. Earlier this week it was only a bit of a headache and sore throat, and some weakness. Today every bit of me aches and shivers."

Elizabeth pressed a hand to his face, clucking her tongue. "Yes, you've certainly got the makings of a fever along with the rest. My poor love, come, let's put you to bed. You look dreadful now that I'm getting a good look at you. You must be lying down immediately."

Yet at this Mr. Darcy shook his head, toying with the handkerchief in his lap with a sniffle. "Unfortunately I cannot leave presently. There's a man who's come to town only this morning and will be leaving again tonight. I am rarely able to meet him more than twice a year, and I can't miss seeing him today as I must discuss some things of importance with him."

Elizabeth bit her lip as she looked outside at the cold, heavy drizzle that had been falling steadily all week. "Oh my heart. I understand you must do what you must. Only I hope it's not far to travel. I hate the thought of you being out in this with a fever."

Fitzwilliam smiled faintly. "Not far at all. We're meeting at the inn at the edge of town. In fact, I must be on my way there now."

In due time he was ready to depart. Elizabeth waited beside the door for him, holding his warmest coat. 

"Wear this, and keep yourself buttoned up well," she urged. "I would say take care not to catch cold, but it seems we're too late for that. We mustn't let it get any worse, though."

Her husband smiled fondly, pressing his lips to her hair. "Indeed we mustn't. I will take all the care I can. I hope to be back in an hour or two."

"I'll have hot water for a bath waiting for you," Elizabeth promised, tucking an extra handkerchief into his pocket. 

"My angel. I look forward to it. I'll see you soon," he promised before striding away into the rain.

~~~

Elizabeth didn't stray far from the door, especially when the hour came that her husband was due to arrive. Per the itinerary he himself had given, he was prompt. Hardly an hour after he'd left, the door opened to herald his return, dripping and shivering and with a handkerchief pressed to his nose. 

Elizabeth was at his side in a moment, helping him out of his coat and fussing over his frozen hands. She rang for the servants and asked them to ready his bath, and he murmured his thanks, his eyes expressing deep gratitude. 

Once his wettest outer layers were removed she led the way to his chambers, verbalizing her plans to fetch him tea and his warmest clothes and a hundred other things. Yet she paused when she sensed he wasn't following, turning questioningly. 

He was frozen, a desperate expression on his face, as if he were struggling with something. 

"Dearest? Are you alright?"

He shook his head with a little twitch. "I –hehh– need to sneeze most — hhih! — most urgently…."

Elizabeth almost laughed, but restrained herself, knowing that would embarrass him horribly. She watched as he fought with what seemed to be a fearsome sneeze, his breath hitching uncontrollably as his eyebrows climbed, his handkerchief crushed against his nose in anticipation. At last his shoulders jerked forward and he sneezed explosively once, twice, thrice. With each sneeze, his impeccable posture deteriorated. He slowly slouched into his handkerchief, as if it were the last thing supporting him. After a trumpeting nose blow he straightened slightly, meeting her eyes with his damp, reddened ones. 

"Forgive me for the outburst," he croaked. 

"I'll not hear a word of you apologizing for being ill, poor man. Come, the only cure for a cold so violent is a hot bath and a hot toddy."

"As long as you'll be the one administering the remedies," he yawned.

"Why of course. I wouldn't have it any other way." 

With that Elizabeth resumed the way up the grand staircase, and her husband followed close behind. As they walked, she cast a fond smile back at him. Weary though he was, he linked his fingers through hers with a smile of his own.

[jasperakalucy]

hello, gamers, comrades, foes, freaks, losers, gay people, and cowboys,

welcome to the Best Answer Awards of the RTumblr Secret Santa 2022 Google Form!!!

no you don’t win anything and I’m not saying who said what. because this is my award show and I make the rules

Question 1: tumblr username: and the best answer is........... “jasperakalucy”! because I am based

Question 2: are you. interested in this: “no. i am just here to watch. do not give me a gift. i'm just filling out the quiz for fun” someone actually put this and i was so unbelieving that i forced them to join /hj

Question 3: how active are you on rtumblr/are you new (can pick multiple): “I did something of value once and never again. One day I will return and you will all regret forgetting me” mysterious! i love it!

Question 4: what kind of art can you do? (can pick multiple): “i can kill you over and over again in minecraft” that is an art and I’m so proud of you

Question 5: what do you plan on giving as your gift? (elaborate on above question): “Whatever the person desires. I cannot however: Make anybody fall in love, kill somebody, bring somebody back to life. I will most likely write or draw.” damn. poetic honorary mention: “The most important gift: friendship And a piece of carrot”

Question 6: do you have a c!self (can pick multiple): “girl help his face is my fucking pfp his look is straight up just 'onceler’” girl help indeed, why would you ever want to be like the onceler /hj

Question 7: if you answered yes then drop your c!self explanation (image upload at end): “It is literally just me as a rat with no roleplay or lore or anything, I hope this appeases the rumblr tumblrs (/pos)” the rumblr tumblrs joke is funny every time. i still think about the time i called RTgodot rumble tumble gumble

Question 8: what is. your gift prefernece (for your gifter to gift to you) (can pick multiple): a solid 50% of you told me i spelled prefernece wrong. i am still amused by this

9: what is your number 1 preference gift this one’s boring SKIP

10: elaborate on above (give as many details as you want. literally go buckwild) (this will be sent to your gifter): “I don’t have specific preferences I just think rt’s cool:) do whatever your heart commands of you, take artistic liberties, feel the rain on your skin” the person in number 5 and this one are the same brain and i love that for them honorary mentions: “[taps on microphone] magistrex” “Draw whatever you want. Just draw. Draw something. I would like a civet/dog. why isn't my four key working”

11: would you rather post all of this art or send it privately? BORING SKIP

12: STILL BORING

13: AAAAAAAAAA

14: questions comments concerns: “you people seem insane but that's okay, who *isnt* in the RT fandom. I'll draw anything exept from magical john in a maid outfit or a bunny costume. i hate that little freak of nature” the fact that your hatred of magical john came so quickly out of nowhere made me laugh. you’re right, he is a freak of nature honorary mention: “gay gay homosexual gay. can i call you jasper? or aka...i like aka. unless you don't like it.” yes you can call me aka that sounds rad as fuck

(also people were very nice to me in this question and i do appreciate that)

AND FINALLY THE FREE SPACE QUESTION

15: free space. copy and paste the bee movie for all i care: “i have a homophobic slur to say!” I have not stopped thinking about this since it happened. you sound so excited. you never said the slur. you just said you were going to, and then left it. why? i laughed out loud when i read this the first time. what the hell does it mean? is it the f slur? is it a fun new slur you made up? what the fuck! in my memory this had a “:D” next to it, and that’s how i read it in my head. I literally know your username. I’ve never talked to you. what is going on inside your head? i love you. you really have guts. in questions comments concerns you said “do it fart” and only now have i realized that was a question, and not a command, calling me a fart. thank you for giving me such joy and confusion. i will never forget this.

honorary mentions: two different copypastas that reference al-qaeda two different meows (“meow” and “nya”) two different people saying i should not encourage bee movie posting (cowards/lh) one “according to all known laws of aviation,” one secret code from the “schrodingers cat” who ended up dropping (“9 1/13 14/15/20 23/8/15 9 19/1/25 9 1/13”) some screams (“WAAHAHJHKKK EAWERRRRWW WWEEEEEE”) a funny joke (“[insert funny joke.mp4]”) and of course

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