#did i just do the best or worst thing for fe3h?

[mostrandomgallery]

FE3H AU Project: The Cotton Candy Elephants (Master Post)

Here's the full class roster (still subject to changes)

Allegra von Hresvelg (House Leader) Crest: Seiros

Tristesse von Edmund (House Retainer) Crest: The Beast (Maurice)

Franz von Varley Crest: Indech

Delicia von Hevring Crest: Cethleann

Ignis von Albrecht Crest: Chevalier

Anneliese Fulmina Charon Crest: Charon

Envidia Desiree Dominic Crest: Dominic

Eckhart Horatio Goneril Crest: Goneril

Émilie Chantelle Gloucester Crest: Gloucester

S-Support with Male Byleth:

Allegra

Tristesse

Delicia

Anneliese

Envidia

Émilie

S-Support with Female Byleth:

Franz

Ignis

Eckhart

The house mascot is said to have been inspired by a magical creature that was part elephant, part cat, and part dolphin, and was made of cotton candy. It was said that this elephant-like chimera could also cry candy, and owned a song-powered chariot that could fly to the moon. Now lost to time and legends, this majestic animal believed to have once roamed Fódlan is henceforth commemorated in this new classroom's banner. This was a personal decision made by the classroom's house leader, Allegra von Hresvelg.

...So I decided to make Allegra a part of House Hresvelg rather than Bartels. Ironically, I made her have a weakness in axes so she can forget about using Aymr, but she can wield the Seiros Sword with ease.

Also, I decided to change "Alaric von Bergliez" to "Ignis von Albrecht", just so he can use Vajra-Mushti.

[cherrypikkins]

FE3H OC: Kitt Burgess - Support Conversations and Artwork

From an earlier poll, I wrote support conversations for the top three characters with my FE3H OC, Kitt (they/them). I also did some semi-related artwork. :3

More reading below the cut!

Hapi – Support Level C

Scene: Forest

Kitt: That was a close call. Way too close for my liking. You're not hurt anywhere, are you?

Hapi: I'm fine. Also, I could have handled it on my own without you butting in.

Kitt: I...suppose? Though with a Demonic Beast this huge, I'd rather not take any chances. What happened, by the way?

Hapi: What do you think happened? I was in a bad mood and sighed before I could stop myself. I do that, okay? Sometimes I can't help myself, so spare me your judgment.

Kitt: Right. Okay. That's what I suspected, but I thought I'd ask you first before jumping to any conclusions. No judgment here, I promise.

Kitt: Anyway. Since it doesn't look like you're hurt, I'll just run along and leave you be.

Hapi: Um, hello? Monastery is that way.

Kitt: I... know that? I still have a patrol to finish. But I'll head back once I'm done.

Hapi: Don't you have a report to write up? On what just happened?

Kitt: You want me to report you? That would be giving the Church free ammunition against you. Is that what you want?

Hapi: No, but that's what the Knights of Seiros do, isn't it? Keep an eye on troublesome kids like me and tattle to the Church when stuff like this goes down?

Kitt: Ha. Do I look like one of the Knights to you? That's a little worrisome.

Kitt: I'll just tell Seteth that I took care of a stray Demonic Beast and leave it at that. I'm the only one who knows you were ever here, and I'm happy to keep it that way.

Kitt: Or do you care that much about the rules?

Hapi: Heh. Not if you don't.

Kitt: I thought not.

Kitt: Although, if one of the Knights gets nosy and finds you here, nothing I say will stop them from jumping to their own conclusions. So, better run along now.

Hapi: Wait. Kitty-Cat. I'm sorry I barked at you just now. You probably figured, but I haven't had the best experience with the Knights or the Church.

Hapi: I guess I thought you were just another one of their lackeys.

Kitt: Ha. That's what I get for answering their every beck and call. I'm just trying to put out my best behavior, but Goddess knows they probably have a massive report written up on me somewhere.

Hapi: Huh. So they're keeping an eye on you too, then? They really are the worst. What sort of dirt do they have on you, anyway?

Kitt: I'm not going to tell you.

Hapi: Oh, don't worry. I wasn't expecting you to come out with it. Just thought I'd try my luck.

Hapi: Anyway, thanks for saving my skin. At least I know you'll be somewhere in the neighborhood in case something like this ever happens again. Which, I'm sure it will.

Kitt: Of course. Just come running to me and I'll take care of it.

Felix – Support Level C

Scene: Training Grounds

Felix: Hey, you.

Kitt: Me?

Felix: You skipped out on training today. Again.

Kitt: Huh. So you spotted me. I was hoping to be extra careful that time.

Felix: If you're not here to train, why are you even here? All you do is waste everyone's time, mine included.

Kitt: I was just stopping by to fetch my things. I'll be out of your hair in a second.

Felix: You're looking for your knife, right? I have it here, you know. You left it behind while sneaking off earlier.

Kitt: ...So I did. May I please have it back?

Felix: They say you can dispatch a Demonic Beast with ease, sometimes even a whole nest of them, without anyone helping you. Is that the truth?

Kitt: A whole nest of Demonic Beasts? That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?

Felix: That's what I thought at first. But I've seen you fight before. Why does it seem like you're always holding back.

Kitt: Not sure I understand what you're talking about.

Felix: There you go, with that act of yours. It's like you're afraid of something.

Felix: What's wrong? Is it beneath a slayer of beasts to fight against ordinary people? Or are you trying to endear yourself to others by pretending to be weak?

Kitt: If I was trying to endear myself to you, Felix, I would have gone for a different approach.

Felix: I'll say. Your attitude is really getting on my nerves, and you're not doing anyone any favors here. This is a military academy. Not a playground.

Felix: So instead of trying to fool me, and failing miserably, why don't you show me some of that incredible power I've heard people talk about?

Kitt: ...

Kitt: Because you're not ready.

Felix: Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?

Kitt: I'm not certain you want to know.

Kitt: May I have my knife back, Felix?

Felix: Hmph. Take it and go, already. I've wasted enough time with you.

Kitt: Thank you. Maybe one day I'll let you see what fighting a monster is like.

Kitt exits.

Felix: ... And here I thought the Boar was terrifying.

Claude – Support Level C

Scene: Library

Claude: Hey, Kitt! Perfect timing. There's something I've been wanting to ask you. If you don't mind me prying a little, that is.

Kitt: -sigh- Let me guess. This is the part where you bombard me with personal and invasive questions about my life history, correct?

Claude: Well, I wouldn't have put it quite like that...

Kitt: No need to dance around it, Claude, I've seen that look of yours. So do your worst and let's get this over with.

Claude: Cutting right to the chase, are we? Fine by me. Let's start with the basics.

Claude: You were born in a remote village in the southern part of the Oghma mountains, correct? Does that... make you Imperial by birth?

Kitt: Geographically speaking, yes. But there are a handful of remote communities scattered across Fodlan that neither the Empire, the Kingdom, nor the Alliance bother to keep tabs on.

Kitt: Mainly because we aren't important from an economic or militaristic standpoint.

Kitt: My village is - was - one such settlement. We didn't have ties to any of the ruling powers, and we rarely ever dealt with the outside world, unless it was with the Church. With some exceptions.

Claude: Okay. That I can understand, except for one small detail. I'm pretty sure I've asked everyone up and down the monastery. Why does it seem like no one has ever heard of your village?

Kitt: If you're caught up on recent history, you should know that my village doesn't exist anymore. It was wiped out by Demonic Beasts. Things like that happen all the time. Surely you and the others must have heard.

Claude: Well...yeah. But that's what makes the whole thing so bizarre.

Claude: If it was wiped out a few years ago, there has to be a record somewhere. As you say, things like that happen every so often, and it's not exactly secret knowledge when they do.

Claude: But I've searched just about everywhere in this library, and I haven't found anything written in the past decade about a village in the Oghma Mountains that was destroyed by monsters. Let alone one with a sole survivor.

Kitt: I'm not sure I'd call myself a 'sole survivor'. ...I mean, there could have been others, but the Knights never bothered to confirm it.

Claude: Is that so? For a disaster like that, you'd think they'd keep some kind of documentation. ...Unless the documents are missing, somehow. Do you think they were confiscated by the Church for some reason?

Kitt: I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised. Books disappear from this library all the time at the behest of the Church.

Claude: But these aren't just books written by some random dissident. These are recent historical records. Without them, it's like your village never existed in the first place! Doesn't that bother you?

Kitt: It's clearly bothering you, though I can't understand why. Exactly how far are you willing to go just to satisfy that curiosity of yours?

Claude: Well for starters, I could ask you the name of your village. It's just a name, but you'd be giving me a lead, at the very least.

Kitt: Perhaps. But that's dangerous knowledge you're chasing after. I'd rather not.

Claude: Hey, hold on a second. You said I was allowed to ask you 'personal and invasive' questions about your life history.

Kitt: True. But I never promised that I would answer them fully, honestly, or at all. The Church prefers that I keep my mouth shut, and ... it's better that I play by their rules.

Kitt: I'm sorry, Claude.

Claude: Right, well. It's not like I've done much to earn your trust. So, I don't blame you for playing it safe, especially when the Church is involved.

Claude: I guess that means you don't know the whole truth of what happened either.

Kitt: No. But I don't let it bother me. Everything about my village ... well, it's all ancient history now.

Kitt: ...Good luck with your research, though. Do let me know if you find out anything new.

Kitt leaves

Claude: Huh? I mean... For sure. I'll keep you updated.

Claude: Ancient history, huh...? Not bad for a lead.

[yellowocaballero]

Anyway.

How many works do you have on AO3? 54. Hm. I don't remember writing 54 fics. That's weird. But I've been posting since 2017 so when you THINK about it 54 fics over 7 years isn't weird at all.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 2.4 million. What's your point.

What fandoms do you write for? A fuckton. I write both things I'm hyperfixated on and for random shit that comes in my head. I was into TMA for like two years so I have the most TMA fic (16), but most of my fandoms are 3-5 fics maximum. There's also a lot of random-ass fics for random-ass fandoms that just jumped in my head. Artemis Fowl, Beetlejuice, Animorphs...demons that overtook me for two weeks or so and never bothered me again.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Great Gender Heist (Artemis Fowl, no surprise there.), stay out of trouble (Detroit: Become Human, I reliably forget that one exists and I'm still mystefied as to why so many people read it), meek shall inherit (I'm constantly attempting to forget the Be More Chill phase ever happened), someone will remember us (Batman, fic's not great, am still very fond of that au) and dead or alive (DBH, mediocre). Why the hell are the two Detroit: Become Human fics so popular? I hate DBH so much. I was so angry while writing those.

Do you respond to comments? I am absolutely terrible about responding to comments. I am sorry. I do read and appreciate all of them. It's because I always need to give a dialectical so comments take ages to write. If you do want to hear my thoughts on something, my inbox is your best bet for a way too lengthy response.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hope, Etc for certain. I try really hard to write bittersweet at worst endings, and even the sad endings in my fics have hope in them. Hope, Etc definitely ends in a better place than where it began. But it's still very sad. I was thinking about a lot of lost loved ones while writing it. Fishhooks and reel to reel also have downer endings but that is because they are LITERALLY Star Wars.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uhhhh. The ending of Solitaire (and the MLM/WLW hostility series in general) is very sweet. It's meaningful because it demonstrates so much growth from everybody with very little cost. I almost said Go Straight At The Cul De Sac, because it showcases a happier world where horrible historical events were averted, but the ending will always be a little bittersweet because we understand how much Protag sacrificed to create that better world.

Do you get hate on fics? Sometimes people are kind of weird. The worst of it is usually just useless comments, though. I had somebody get pedantic about how briefly mentioning an SUV would be historically inaccurate, and how I should have mentioned a minivan instead - like, did you read that fic and think I was from the suburbs? Do I look like I know what a minivan is? Lol? If I've received any actual more severe stuff I have no idea, since I delete the comment and delete it from my memory. I've never gotten anything too bad. I've been called ablest like three times, which is objectively hilarious.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I could write smut I'd be making bank on Kindle Unlimited right now.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Probably the FE3H/BNHA one I'm writing right now that will never see the light of day. Just kidding. I don't actually think I've posted any real crossovers - I DO write them, I just kind of feel like they're cringe so I never post them. I write a lot of cringe shit that never sees the light of day.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not nearly popular enough for that.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Several people have mentioned wanting to do that, but nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not technically. But I do want to give due honors to all of the friends who are SO instrumental in the building of the AUs, stories, characters, etc, that they've had a huge impact on the story itself. I try to recognize them by name in the fics themselves but my stories would look completely different if it wasn't for my friends. Definitely much worse.

What’s your all time favorite ship? I'll differentiate favorite ships and favorite fictional romances. For ships, it's much less about the ship and more about the role in the story. I tend not to pay a lot of attention to that while writing, but sometimes I get lost in my own sauce and I drive myself a bit nuts. I am very fond of Hanyookim, especially in my own ORV story. For romances? My top ten list of fictional romances is as follows: number one: naturally, Sasunaru -

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? If it's up on AO3, it's done (with one or two very small exceptions - The Ending of Han Sooyoung epilogue I'll get to you I PROMISE). There's plenty of unfinished docs on my drive that I'll never finish, but that's because I decided that they weren't worth finishing.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and characterization. That's always been the case. I'm also pretty funny.

What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting. Action. Having stories that are not entirely dialogue. Where things happen and it's more than just people walking around talking. You know. Real stories -

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Always valid. I remember reading one Hispanic author talking about how he doesn't like italicizing the Spanish in his stories because it's otherizing, and I agreed enough with him that I don't tend to italicize other languages either. Sometimes I do. I try to do it purposefully, and to convey something that can only be conveyed through the extra language. I'll also only do it if I can have a friend who speaks that language write it out for me, since gtranslate sucks and I want to ask the friend how such a thing would actually be said and colloquialize it. I like using ASL in fics, and I am just in general begging people to a) write it like any other language, and b) understand that it's different from other languages and can't be written exactly the same. If your Star Wars fanfiction has so much gratuitous Mando'a that I can't understand anything the clones or Mandos are saying I hate you.

First fandom you wrote for? Batman Beyond. Yes, I have a FFN account somewhere. Yes, I was eleven. Yes, it was Batman Beyond.

Favorite fic you’ve written? The best thing I've written is Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge. Favorite is New Wave. That sucker took two years to write (INSANELY long for me) and it is exactly the story I wanted to write. Stephanie's a character I've been writing since I was 15, and the feeling of writing Stephanie and NAILING her for the very first time was so satisfying.

Tagging @usaigi and uh any other writer mutuals you all know who you are.

[tamarakkoarchive]

FE3H livetweet thread (3/3)

i refuse to believe they designed this class for anyone other than this fucker. absolute zero mention of anything slightly resembling japan but yeah sure here's felix acting like a weeb

~

me: yay we killed hubert and edelgard aside some students we never bothered giving a gift before! can we go to the sidestory now? 3H: *105 hours in* no

~

damn funny that even at this point cyril still throws this pissed ass face at byleth

~

the most cursed thing abt 3H is that it forces my brain to accept that the personas w calendar system were infinitely better designed than this lol

it dumbfounds me how limited the opportunities to grind and fix your weapons are like i tried my best to keep everyone at check and in the end i arrive at the decisive battle w my most important gear unable to use

like yeah whatever i can accept the stupid dating sim mechanics and i can ignore the game not giving any information whatsoever abt what shit my units are learning in the classes they're in but the shop system is so stupidly restricting and convoluted to use???

~

i hate so much the fact i have to keep switching windows all the time to buy and sell shit FOR EVERY DIFFERENT CHARACTER when in games severely older than this you could do everything in one screen

idk i rly can't believe this is the thing it ultimately fumes me the most in 3H lol there's barely any story and you do supports and quests mindlessly tapping in less than 2min but every fucking time you go to the market it takes hours trying to remember what your inventory has

~

catherine we saved this bitch TWO MISSIONS AGO

~

okay nvm rip

the "YOU GOT MICROWAVED AS A BABY *dies*" thing really likes to follow wherever i go

~

the time has arrived. sadly petra isn't available for boobleth so i ultimately decided to go w the one most fit for the route i went to i guess. gotta console the now motherless boy

~

FROM ALL THE /GAZILLION/ WAYS THEY COULD'VE WRITTEN THIS CONFESSION SCENE THEY WENT W ONE W THE WORST IMPLICATIONS RNDNGNS

~

byleth: rhea is gone and all but look i'm still here :) cyril: ah cool! i was rhea's house servant before so from now i'll be yours, since you're telling me i can't run away byleth:

~

they 100% did the same w dedue didn't they. i'm not even gonna bother checking bc i know they must have done it

~

i thought i wouldn't be into post timeskip bernie much but she ended up growing on me, still the same funny critter but tried her hardest to keep up and look presentable bc her school mean a lot to her... rest well my baby

~

okay nvm girl won't get to rest LMFAOOOOO

i wanted caspar to have a fitting girl that wasn't byleth and a few others could fit but i'm specially fond of bernie bc both of them are the funniest 3H characters to me... cheers to my funny rats fucking and making children

~

wait WAIT EXCUSE ME????????????????? PETRA????????????? MOTHERFUCKER WASN'T AN OPTION FOR ME BUT STILL GOES FOR DOROTHEA??????????

damn........ ngl mad respect for dorothea just silently snatching her from behind my back

~

so... that was it for the main story sorry to confirm but yeah i won't be playing other routes, i'll check the sidestory tho

~

~

thinking back and man they REALLY wanted to keep the masterxslave thing on top of already so much shit byleth has over cyril like girl just keep it at oneeshota, people are here for that!!!! intsys rolling their eyes at S supports for all genders but raceplay is added w gusto s2

~

when i see cyril being iliterate while tiring himself doing chores and being a soldier for rhea like i can't in full honesty not despise rhea like what did you do to him you brainwashing church dragon freak.... byleth's lesbian list selection is terrifyingly bleak

~

4 hrs into sidestory so far the party is fixed and only has returning characters idc for, i guess the underground dwellers setting is slightly more interesting but the exclusive cast is still made of ex-nobles and magical bloodlines so uh... yeah playing as dudeleth for a change

~

~

it sucks how edel was the only opposing force in this game bc everyone else just passively goes along w whatever rhea decides in the end even if they dislike it "don't worry you can contine living in the slums if you wish to ^^"

~

welp 125 hours was my limit here. i couldn't grow a glimpse of interest for the story since the very first few hours, you keep going expecting some type of big shift or at least a reward for investing in specific characters over others but it's as barebones as a gacha game

i was told awakening was like 30~40 hours long and cmon?? this is exactly the max a run of 3H should've been?? they stretched a dryass plot and for what... for the player to get dumped all info at the last minute like are we in a professor layton game

~

"what's the lesson here?" "no more calendar rpgs!" "anything else?" "FIRE EMBLEM IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED!"

~

me: i love how so far my complaint of FE and royal bloodlines had as a rebuttal only a single protagonist which is ike in theory. if ike disappoints me then it's over for the entire franchise

friend: I'm curious about what will you think. I heard he's the only non royal but there seem to be playable royalty characters so genuinely I wonder if they drop the ball like Echoes

me: i can't help but feel wary of ike being overhyped bc of how often i heard abt echoes and 3H being 'the better ones' and then turns out echoes is sexist and 3H is an absolutely insane white savior parade LOL next thing you're gonna tell me is that ike is an incel or eats children

friend: I feel the same lmao It would be a positive surprise but rn I'm convinced that FE as a whole just can't not mess up horribly when dealing with the most basic social issues. I'm just going for the wide array of fucked up blorbos and the stories are a moot point.

me: nobles having fucked up dynamics should be such a to-go for a series like this, i couldn't believe how irrelevant and generic the enemies you fight against in 3H are, even their hair color are bland like a background character in anime gjlkdfgl

friend: Yea, like even period dramas focused on royalty fumble the bag when they try to address plebs while keeping their protagonists undeniably good people. Just go with court drama. Omg that was extra disappointing because so many place and people full names and what for

~

tbh no wonder the FE x SMT crossover turned into FE x persona bc smt is anti-fire emblem to its core... smt exists specifically to shit on law so the moment it gives leverage to royalty it wouldn't be smt anymore

"but that's it! it's exactly for them being opposites that the crossover would be interesting!" you and i both know they would write a generic lukewarm message and just focus on nobles and demons being cool fighting side by side or whatever instead of dismantling oligarchy

~

Originally written from Feb 26 to Mar 22, 2024

[boomgun]

On one hand, I like More Problematic Edelgard because I love angst and tragedy, but ultimately Scarlet Blaze is a much more well put together story than Crimson Flower.

There is something really neat with how TWSITD are this albatross tied to Edelgard's neck and how she has to maneuver around them, but this only comes up in one mission (Arianrhod) and paralogue (Hubert's) and then the rest of CF is cluttered up with Byleth - Edelgard scenes that are just a distraction at best and tone-shattering at worst. Come on, get back to lying to our friends to cover up the crimes of our enemy-allies, that was CF at its best. It was one of the best story beats of FE3H in general, to me. The story of a tortured heroine climbing over the bodies of innocent and guilty alike to escape a gruesome fate for herself and the world really gets bogged down with Edelgard going "Kyaaaaa!" over rats and drawing lovey-dovey pictures of Byleth. Genuinely, I wanted Edelgard to kill more people and do more dubious political maneuvers than whatever this junk is.

SB opening up as the Edelgard Without TWSITD Route makes this something that cannot really be explored. It still tries! The plot element of Edelgard and Hubert revealing that they did not fully trust Shez until the half-way mark was neat! It actually made Shez's friendship with Edelgard feel a lot more organic compared to Edelgard's Whatever The Fuck You Call The Scene Between Her And Byleth (YES, EDELGARD HIGH-FIVING SHEZ GETS A PASS BECAUSE IT WAS A LITTLE BIT OF BREVITY AFTER DRAMATIC STORY BEATS, NOT A DELUGE OF IT). They have Duke Aegir's Rebellion to remind us that TWSITD are still present in the story, that was also good. It is just that it does not have that really dirty feeling you get of kind-of-helping the people that you want to destroy the most. You even trample over a lot of decent folks (Claude, Dimitri) before you can even really touch TWSITD. Edelgard has a lot of monologues about what she is willing to do and how much she is willing to bear for her goals, the visceral ugliness and trudging through muck sensation just felt right for her. The fact that the writers were clearly very aware of this tone shift; there is a reason 3 Hopes Edelgard is all silvery and much less red in her character design compared to 3 Houses Edelgard.

I should not be complaining about getting a good thing, but I would love a version of CF that was more committed to the theme of shoveling shit for the hope of something better and was as well written and paced as SB.

[hapigairu]

Genuinely not trying to get into anything here, just wanting to learn more. What about Khalid and Nader's writing is a poor example?

Don't worry about it! Asking questions out of curiosity is always a good thing :)

People directly concerned with this topic will be more apt to give a detailed answer, but I'll do my best.

People from the Middle-East as well as Northern Africa generally have a bad reputation around the globe and face discrimination as a result. This is especially true of immigrants. Like, where I'm from, they're seen as untrustworthy, thieves, even murderers or r*pists. There's also the fact that they're associated with Islam, so on top of facing racial discrimination, they also face religious discrimination (whether they're actual Muslims or not). Not everyone thinks that way, thankfully, and I believe some states are trying to address this issue. But then, you have the police who sometimes (often...) have no qualms about arresting people or violently repress people because they look a certain way. There were riots in France a few months ago because a policeman shot a young man - Nahel Merzouk - of Moroccan and Algerian descent to death. You can find articles about this on sites like The Guardian if you want.

Now let's return to FE3H/FEW3H.

In Houses, we learn that Almyra invades Fodlan for funsies and the soldiers then celebrate the fight with a big feast. So killing people (or getting some of your people killed) is basically treated like a joke... Fodlan's throat was built to better protect Fodlan from these attacks... which are treated like a game by the interloping party. That's... really not great. But we also learn from Claude's B support with Hilda that his father - the king of Almyra - tied him to a horse and dragged him around because he was a "brat" sometimes? And her own mother just laughed when it happened (granted, she's not Almyran, but still... nobody seemed to think that Claude's treatment was disgusting)? So physically abusing a child is seen as something funny. Again, reaaaally not great. And Cyril tells us (well, Claude technically) in their B support that his parents died in battle, and he had to survive on his own without any help, especially not from the king. And he was serving in the army at age 11/12 (possibly younger). Whether he was forced or not... I'm not sure, but it's entirely possible he had little choice if he wanted to survive somehow. ... not great at all.

In Hopes, we have Nader looking forward to "taking some souvenirs" aka pillaging and Lorenz - a white nobleman - telling him that pillaging is not allowed in Fodlan. Not Claude. Lorenz. Important Almyran general (and probably most of his soldiers lbr) thinks pillaging is fun for the savages from Almyra so we need local white nobleman from Fodlan to teach him that it's bad. Yikes. Then you have Clod who... well, first of all makes the worst possible decisions in part 2 (why side with the country that did nothing to you when you can help the one that intends to invade you?). He also believes Edelgard's words about Rhea without... I don't know, find a way to verify the information he's been provided? And he's shown to be a backstabbing, untrustworthy scumbag with the Randolt chapter for example. He uses morally reprehensible 'tactics' to invade a country that has done nothing to him (e.g.: inciting Sreng to attack the kingdom). He centres power around himself and suppresses the nobles who want to bail because they're not happy about this. Oh and there's Shahid, a prince so stupid he doesn't recognise his own brother in chapter 3. He attacks Fodlan to get a better chance at inheriting the throne. That's quite... ugh. This is when a sensitivity reader and a diversity editor would have been GREATLY beneficial to this game's writing (can also be applied to Petra and Dedue tbh). Sadly, it's not a thing in Japan as far as I know. Also, I probably forgot (or overlooked) some stuff, so any correction or addition is more than welcome!

[antivanwine14]

Here is my review for Fire Emblem Engage. It is long and full of spoilers so it is under the cut.  

Story: it was fine. There was nothing too intense, but I enjoyed it. There parts that were rushed that probably could have used some more time and I wish we had more with Lumera and seen more family time with the Hounds (actually seen why they considered themselves a family, especially Marnie)

Best Chapters: Brodia and Elusia (first time there). Story wise, this felt like the strongest part. Brodia and Elusia had a lot of great characters and even though parts were predictable, I enjoyed it. They did a good job shaking things up here.

Worst chapters: Solm, it feels like Solm had a lot of busy work and I feel like they could have reorganized it so it flowed better. I would have preferred skipping that random bandit fight to get Timerra and maybe had Seadall join at this point too. However, I like the maps we get, so I won’t complain too much. 

Supports: I actually like the supports in FE Engage. Are they reliant on the person’s shtick? Yes, but I think people are forgetting just how reliant FE3H was too. A few of the supports were a bit random and weak, but I thought a lot were at least funny but most did a good job building on the characters.

Paralogue: I get why they gave the Emblems paralogues (since quite frankly, I didn’t know most of the emblems), but I would have given at least one to each of the lords and have taken out Jean’s.

Lords: I really like the lords in this game, but I think the game does hold them back a bit. Having four lords with you for most of the game means each one does not really get a chance to shine. FE3H strength with their lord is even though there was three, they would only let you focus on one so that lord was really developed and could shine in the story. Ivy is a strong character who I liked a lot, but she really fades from the plot after she joins the party and that is unfortunate. Timerra never really gets her chance to shine since she shows up pretty late and has to deal with the other three and that is unfortunate because she seemed interesting. Alfred and Diamant probably have the best time since Alfred is with you for such a long period of time that there is time to know him and Diamant gets the lead in Brodia, first trip to Elusia, and part of Solm which are some of the best chapters in my opinion.

Veyle: I can’t stand Veyle. At first I was alright with her, but once I realized she wasn’t actually a small child but a teenager, I was just like wow, there is a difference between being naïve and dumber than a bag of rocks. Alear is naïve, but actually works for the character, she is just dumb. I feel she could have been done so much better, either push her more like Flayn or actually make her a child. Plus they neutered everything that could have been interesting about her by making nothing she does actually her fault and having most of the characters be completely fine with her (as far as I know, I’m not going out of my way to get her supports). Plus they force her to be equal to the Lords once she joins the party and I really couldn’t care less about her. 

Alear: I really like Alear. I think they have a great personality and their design really grew on me. I like how they feel like a young adult, trying to find their footing, making mistakes, getting emotional, and have some spunk (teasing their friends)

Byleth: boy do I wish Byleth talked more in his own game. Byleth was great here and I really liked what he had to say.

Map: I really appreciated the large variety of maps. It really kept things interesting and made replaying things fun.

Game play: For the most part, I thought the game play was solid, especially the maps, enemies, and builds. There were a lot of things you can do with the characters and it was fun (also, the fact they flagged the save file you completed as such makes me believe they will eventually add in NG+ which I think will make this game a lot better).

Resources: I think this is going to continue to improve as the dlc waves come, but wow was this game tough on both gold and supplies, yes the weapons don’t break, but staffs do and you need money for healing items too. Also, why is iron the thing that is constantly holds me back from upgrades? Have steel and silver, but always running out of iron.

Grinding: so it is nice to know the enemy skirmishes cap at Level 20 Advance, but I really wish there was better places to grind up my weaker units. I don’t know if they are going to improve the tower, but it would be nice if I could get more exp from there.

Character who I would like to remove: Besides Veyles’ bad writing, the character who is most out of place is Jean. He really does not fit in with the others from Firene and does not really add to it. He does not make sense and in a cast that I feel is probably weighed down by the sheer amount, I think you could easy remove Jean and no one would notice. 

Wake Up Events: They need to be refined. I was woken up about 100 times and I got Diamant, my romance, twice that entire time. There are just so many characters and the fact it is (fairly) random, makes it hard to get the characters you want. Perhaps if they increase the odds with the amount of usage would be good. The concept of the wake up events is completely odd (and very Fire Emblem), but they are some of the better romantic moments. 

Romances: All the romances were a little weak, but they do get full points for having the romances only be for adult characters (in English) AND not have any of the romances be gendered locked. I know not everyone is happy about that, but unless some of the characters are actually going to be gay or lesbian, than only lgbt players are negatively impacted by gender locking character since straight players won’t have the same issues. Playersexual characters work for me and I would much rather have more options than less. 

[azure-clockwork]

Way to tell us your groundbreaking original opinion shared by only more than half the fandom in a "better than everyone" tone despite being an extremely surface level analysis.

Like damn, I'm not arguing with you and I'm sorry for the rude sarcasm, but you gotta understand that post like yours keep popping once in a while in the characters tag ( despite having all discourse tag and discourse-prone blog blocked ) when they don't add anything to the discussion. Three Houses is such an interesting game to analyze so if you're going to do discourse, at least get a bit in depth!

Because yes, you're complaining about the discourse but your post is just... participating in the discourse, just in the average "centrist" fe3h fandom way for a lack of a better word. If you hate it so much why add your grain of salt in it? You're the same as the annoying Edelgard/Dimitri/Claude you're speaking about! I mean at least some of them at least provide interesting analysis about the game within rant.

At least tag your post the next time, because even some of the worst lord stan have the decency to do that.

Sorry you got my rant, but your post was the drop that makes the ocean of badly tagged similar takes overflow my discourse limit. Three Houses discourse sucks hard in every form it takes. Still, have a good day at least.

Okok I did say I was asking for this so, fair

First, sincerely, how would you like me to have tagged this? This is an honest question to which I don't actually know the answer, and I'll go back and edit the tags cuz I don't want to bug more people (and kinda the only reason I'm replying because otherwise I feel like engaging is kinda not what I wanna be doing with my life nor yours, but sadly my brain doesn't shut its trap once I start thinking so I feel compelled to share with the class). Actually, you can skip the rest of this if you don't wanna bother lol

Secondly, I just wanted to be funny because I think that accusing fire emblem characters of war crimes is amusing. I recognize that the Geneva Convention sorta breaks apart the moment magic or crests or dark beasts or gambits come into play, and it's also not what people mean when they say 'Dimitri did war crimes' or 'Edelgard is a war criminal', but I think its hilarious to do anyways. When I see people making arguments about characters and using the term 'war criminal', roughly half of my brain starts laughing about how teeeeechnically using that one gambit with the poison barrels counts as criminal, regardless of if I agree or disagree with the argument made. And I'm memeing on myself here too (or at least trying to): "Jay is gay for Edelgard" is a truly terrible justification to base decisions of morality on . I'd argue that picking a house/the church based on attraction to the lord/Rhea is a sillier motive than a numerical tally of official violations of the Geneva Convention.

I really didn't want this to come across as Discourse tm because I don't want it to be; I just wanted turn my own desire to make a list of every single 'technically a war crime' into something semi amusing, because nobody actually wants to sit and read far too many words about how technically if you recruit and deploy Cyril to rescue Flayn (which is before his 15th birthday by like a month) that makes you a war criminal.

If you want my actual opinion (because making you scroll back thru my blog to read the unhinged rants I came up with while deciding between crimson flower and silver snow would be kinda a dick move), fe3h is a messy, morally grey game regardless of your chosen route. You have to make rough choices, kill your friends and former students, and stand by while everyone, including your allies, does terrible things. For me, I bonded really hard with most of the cast fairly quickly because white clouds let me feel like I was doing the worlds best job teaching my kids. And then you have to kill them. You cannot save them all. It broke me a little. The first student I killed, perma-killed, with the music dropping out and all, was Hilda during the Deirdru fight against her and Claude. It was an accident; she died on enemy phase, and I was out of Divine Pulse charges. She wasn't even a requirement for victory. That was the cost of taking Deirdru; that was the cost of waging war. I lay awake that night thinking about how if I had a different sword equipped I couldn't have counterattacked her from 2 tiles away, or if I had done less damage, or tanked a hit, or--

I'm not arguing that every route is equally morally reprehensible, but I think it matters quite a bit that every route makes you complicit in some terrible things. For several reasons, I'm a big fan of crimson flower (I Do Not Like The Church and I also agree with all of the characters who would like to do away with the nobility and crest systems), but that's tempered by the weight of the actions of Those Who Slither. I am continually unsure of just how much I feel the weight of TWSitD's actions falls on Edelgard herself, and I vacillate between "she didn't really have any other options to cause any kind of change from her position, so an uneasy alliance with TWSitD was the lesser of two evils" and "she bears a significant chunk of responsibility for all of their actions, including Jeralt's death". And I have similar, albeit often less strong thoughts about the rest of the characters. Nobody is operating with the full picture, the characters are all massively blinded by their emotions, and everyone makes choices between what they think is the lesser of a few evils. While the exact number of war crimes is irrelevant because whoops, the Geneva Convention doesn't exist in Fodlan and war crimes aren't the only immoral things you can do, thinking about what means are justified by which ends and who bears the responsibility for what acts is actually a really important part of the game for me.

I guess at the end of the day, I walk away from this game believing the war should not have had to happen. But the world doesn't run on shoulds and should nots (in Fodlan or irl), so the best we can do is make choices based on what we do know, and to do our best to help people with the tools we have. I personally land on crimson flower in the end, but I think the real beauty of Three Houses is just how hard it makes that choice.

Ok, I'm done blabbing; just tell me how I ought to tag this to avoid bugging people and I'll be on my way. I mean this sincerely: have a nice day yourself, and sorry to have annoyed you!

[semi-imaginary-place]

fe3h route thoughts from reddit

I like White Clouds, it has better map design. Because the game devs had to design around unfinished/non optimal units the devs used the fewer number of elements of the maps better. Take for example the ch1 mock battle which often involves a lot of weapon swapping and high level tactics especially on maddening challenge rounds despite only having a few enemies and small map. I also enjoy the setup and mystery elements of White Clouds, this is sadly dropped or de-emphasized in some routes, Azure Moon especially which drops all the interesting mystery plot threads dead on the ground in favor of the dimitri angst drama chronicles.

Oh Golden Wildfire... let's take the nation with the most decentralized power structure and the only one that's not a monarchy but ruled by council vote and turn that into an absolute monarchy because check and balances on power are bad <-some instsys writer. Too bad the writers love Three Kindgoms too much and wanted a Unification story. It's a real weakness that the writers have such a strong personal bias towards absolute monarchies and unification as a solution over peaceful alliance. You can see this tendency especially in Three Hopes.

Most people play only one fe3h route. Add to this that most people choose their first route based on which house leader they like best, and you get this self reinforcing effect. One of the reasons I like the fe3h sub is the relatively high percentage of people who have played multiple routes. …yes people complain LOUDLY about and especially about routes they haven't played.

you should have seen the old dimitristan vs edelgardstan fandom wars, "am has the best story" "cf has the best story" "if you disagree with me you're wrong" some of the worst arguments I have ever seen, just incredibly bad faith arguments, immaturity, pettiness, and just stupid arguments. I'd also like to point out that most people chose their first route based on which house leader they like best. So it goes both ways that a first route can color a person's perspective AND certain people tend to gravitate towards doing certain routes first because they already like some characters over others. Let me give you some fandom history please note this was only ever a minority of fans but man were they loud, so loud I just stayed out of fe3h spaces for like 2 years. The rabid AM dimitri stans went to bat for am "best story" "best character" etc. etc. and some said negative things about edelgard and of course if you disagreed with them they would scream and cry and cyberbully you. The thing with the rabid CF edelgard stans is that they are wildly defensive about edelgard "edelgard did nothing wrong", if you said anything except that she was the best and right about everything they would bully you off the internet. So of course immovable object meets unstoppable force and thus started some of the stupidest arguments I have seen in my life. This went on for a couple years.

ahh I remember the first like 2 years after release when the Edelgard stans and Dimitri stans were at war with each other and it was some of the worst arguments and the moment I said that all 4 routes have their different merits and flaws they both attacked me. So I stayed as far away from CF and AM discussion as possible. Probably helped that VW is my favorite route so I mostly stayed in that small bubble. I like political drama, worldbuilding, and the broader perspective VW. I liked how VW had a more systematic perspective on the problems of Fodlan and highlighted the connections between everything. And I like Claude.

As for Verdant Wind fans and even more rare Silver Snow, these routes are lore heavy so they tend to attract more of the analytical lore and worldbuilding loving type of people aka people who are less interested in fighting over who is best boy/girl. They are also broader in view so fans of these routes are more likely to have played all the routes vs. how a significant portion of CF and AM fans refuse to play other routes. You see these people even in this sub occasionally (this sub which has a high rate of multiple route completion), I think just last month there was a post about someone who could never see themselves playing another route outside of... I think it was CF(?).

AM hinges on the player being invested in Dimitri so those who love Dimitri love the route and those who don't like him will find the route boring and frustrating. I'd say that one topic focus of AM is also a weakness since everything hinges on the player caring and being invested about Dimitri which isn't a guarantee since character preference is personal so so for anyone who doesn't like Dimitri AM is just an exercise in frustration and boredom. Blue Lions White Clouds actually sets up several plot threads like the generational trauma and customs of Faerghus as presented through the secondary cast, White Clouds is the most integrated with the blue lions after all with chapters specifically for both Ashe and Sylvain, there's also the mystery of the Tragedy of Duscar among other plot threads. And all that is dropped dead on the ground and forgotten about in part 2 Azure Moon in favor of Dimitri's personal drama. So all the other things that could have helped hold played interest are left to rot and there's only Dimitri left to carry the story which is fine if the player likes Dimitri and near unplayable if they don't.

I saw someone saying just "Claude" and then not elaborating when asked which lord you agree with most. Spoken with the wisdom of a war veteran. I see you too have known the trenches.

[holdharmonysacred]

man I think the thing that gets me about fe3h is like. The whole setting and backstory and plot of the game is founded on a goddamn fantasy genocide. and literally everything about crests and Rhea’s shenanigans comes down to it being an in-universe fact that Nemesis and his goons murdered almost all the dragon people and desecrated their remains to make crests and crest stones and heroes’ relics. and Rhea and Seteth and Flayn and friends do what they do because they are genocide survivors trying very very hard to not get targeted in another genocide. and god damn near the entire cast of the game has either directly or indirectly profited off of the nabatean genocide because their ancestors killed the dragon people, stole their remains, and used their ill-gotten gains to obtain power. And it is one of the most horrifying plot reveals the game could have, that the prosperity of the in-game present is built on the worst crime anyone can do. And you’d think between this and stuff like the Duscur subplot that this would be a main theme of the game, this question of how do we as a society atone for a crime as massive as genocide, how do we keep survivors safe, how do we dismantle systems that profit off of crimes like that, and how do we make sure this never happens again?

and the problem is that game itself flat out does not care about ANY of this.

The writers don’t give a FUCK about the pretty serious themes they’ve written themselves into. They don’t care that they’ve built this setting on some pretty dark shit. All they wanted to write was “lol what if the holy blood from FE4 was eeeeeevil?” and did not care about the implications of what they were writing. Rhea’s just there to be a walking red herring, a damsel in distress, and a plot device for Byleth’s backstory, not an actual character in her own right who’s stuck in a pretty heartbreaking position and yet gets constantly shit on for it by the fanbase. Nobody in the game even notices or cares that their superweapons are clearly bones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then not only that, but the game itself is incentivized to not care about what it’s written because the writers want to shill for their waifu Edelgard, and Edelgard’s written to have a massive part of her goal be “she’s a racist who hates the dragon people and wants to finish the genocide by killing Rhea and friends”. And rather than actually call out that bit of ugliness in her character, it just gets swept under the rug and ignored. Because god forbid we call Edelgard out on her shit, even as she’s committing one of the most horrific crimes known to man. And it makes the discourse absolutely poisonous because the fans don’t wanna call Edelgard out on her shit either, so at best we just have this horrible elephant in the room that everybody ignores, at worst it turns into genuine racism and “genocide is okay actually!” bullshit. And it sucks.

Like, yeah, if we’re gonna argue about it then yeah, crests in Fodlan should go away. But they shouldn’t go away because something something they’re an axis of oppression (which they’re not), they should go away because they are unending physical reminders that nearly everyone playable in the game benefits from the murder of the Nabateans. The crest stones and heroes’ relics should be returned to Rhea and the dragon family and laid to rest in a tomb, and it sucks that the game never actually addresses this pretty big thing.

[md3artjournal]

Please ignore my 2am venting.

I'm a little frustrated because despite all my art classes, I've been taught how to draw anything in front of me, but I want to draw imaginary characters with no real life models, and I have not been taught facial landmarks, relationships between landmarks, their positions and proportions. I can't even remember all the anatomy I learned in school. But I don't think it matters, because even back then, I remember it not helping me draw better. I remember wasting to much time drawing skeletons and underlying anatomy for figures in my personal, non-class drawings, and it STILL not looking as good as when I drew figures with fanart shortcuts. So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, when I went through 3 books tonight before I found that the "More How to Draw Manga" book---of all things---was the only one that gave any sufficient useful instruction.

I bought all these articulated figures as drawing models (and because I'm a completionist figure collector), and yet, my scale drawings still hardly looked good. Maybe my Ace Week goddesses were nice, but I wanted to draw fanart! I couldn't even use these figures as models for my OTPs hugging, without the resulting drawings looking stiff and weird. I'm terrible at posing. Even in displaying my articulated figures, my poses are uninspired at best. So you better believe my 2D drawings of humans have stiff, unnatural, and uninteresting poses.

I feel like I spent 4 years on this art degree and never learned how to draw. Sure, I can draw any photograph, live model, or still life in front of me. But what good does that do, when it's my imagination wanting to manifest, that was my original reason to learn to draw?

And comparing to the internet doesn't help. I think recently getting into the Fire Emblem fandom really pushed me to snap. I went from drawing Persona 5 character fanart daily, to too afraid to draw any of the FE3H characters I love. All that Fire Emblem fanart is such high quality. And on top of that, the canonical costume designs are so intricate, and there's magic to add beautiful embellishments, fantasy elements, like detailed weapons, beautiful armor, dragons...Fire Emblem fanart is just next level. I can't help but feel so worthless in comparison. And the worst thing is that FE3H is my current obsession, so I want to only draw nothing but it. I wish that FE3H would inspire me to draw completed vignettes every single day, that I could feel proud of, the way that Persona 5 did. Persona 5 inspired me to draw so intensely, that I drew every day, and I feel like I actually became a better illustrator, compared to my old self. But I can barely get myself to draw for FE3H because I know how terrible that even my personal best drawings are, compared to the rest of the fandom. And you can see how little care anyone gives for your bad art, while other art in the tags gets hundreds of notifications, even for art that is equally simplistically stylized. (Please make no mistake: This is no derision. My favorite art style is simplified stylization.) Sometimes, my depression/paranoia tells me that I must have done something to offend the fandom. Maybe a badly worded comment to a fanfic, or some dumb fangirling spaz on my blog,..."Maybe they're shunning you on purpose!", my paranoia says. (This paranoia actually happened with my last fandom too. And when I think about it, I've done this in real life too. Dang, I really should get some psychological help.) I hate feeling that I love these characters so much, that I want to draw them everyday, but I don't, because I'm afraid of how far down my quality is, compared to most Fire Emblem fanartists. o_o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Even when I don't post it, I can still see how bad my art is. Earlier tonight, I tried to draw a scale version of Hilda. I only got halfway through, before I was so disgusted with how ugly it already was, that I just lost all motivation to even finish the sketch.

So I switched to a quick chibi doodle of Hilda instead. The other day, I also did a quick chibi doodle of Claude, just to boost my self esteem. I could no longer stand my current stretch of days, where I haven't completed any drawing. I really miss having a finished drawing each day. Not just a completed sketch, but also completed with color too. And when it's chibi, it also looks cute, and that intrinsically elicits a genuine emotion from me when I look at it. Cute chibi, even my style of chibi, have a cuteness that I can genuinely appreciate, in and of itself, even before posting online. Whether completed or cute, I miss these doodles that made me feel I had made something I could feel proud of, accomplished, and worthwhile. I like these quick chibi doodles.

None of this "still trying to learn digital drawing" madness, while simultaneously trying to complete project ideas! Earlier tonight, I wasted an hour, trying to draw 1 circle in Krita, and I still didn't have any acceptable results before Krita crashed twice. If I had been drawing by hand, I could have been done in 30 seconds. I could be cranking out a drawing per day again. But my scanner is broken...because my printer is broken. The scanner is actually fine. But all-in-one printers are such scams, that if the printer detects a problem with the ink cartridges, for a printer that I no longer have need to print with, then it won't let me scan. So now I HAVE to trace digital versions of all my sketches to make them complete drawings. As of now, my only completed drawings, that could contribute to my accumulated artist alley/online shop stock, can be digital. And the learning curve is just taking TOO LONG. x_x; Maybe if I remember that I always have this tendency to get super frustrated with learning videogames, and perhaps with learning anything, I could get through this. But every day, projects pile up, time passes, and finally opening that online shop this year gets pushed further away---and I have to do it this year because I already told government agencies that I would make sales again, after 2 years of pandemic killing off my in-person sales venues. I hate that digital drawing takes so long to learn, so long to complete anything. I hate all these work in progress sketches piling up. I'm not used to having half-finished drawings! All my past pencil sketches I've not finished within one day, are still unfinished, years later! I have to finish drawings in one day! On top of that, I get overwhelmed easily. Having several unfinished drawings, yet to complete, feels the same as having multiple to-do list tasks, worries piling up, anxiety just compounding. It's just overwhelming, feeling all this stuff I have to do, growing and building with even more things that need completing. I hate it. It makes me want to give up and never get out of bed.

Sometimes, I browse online and I see all this beautiful art that isn't character art nor containing any humans. And I think, "Maybe that's what I should do." I'm not suited to drawing humans. I can barely even look at them, let alone, maintain an instinctual understanding of how to draw faces. (It's stuff like this that makes me think my dad may have been onto something when he suggested I get tested for autism spectrum. ~_~ ) There's so much good art I love, that has nothing to do with depicting humans. Highly stylized, "cute/kawaii" art styles, doodles of food and everyday objects, etc. And I think, "Maybe I can do that." I know I can easily make good sketches of animals and flowers. And I used to doodle objects all the time. And now collections of doodled objects, just like that, are becoming successful stickers for bujo planners and greeting card DIYers. Maybe even my dumb doodles that (if I'm being honest and private) make me (though only me) happy, could be worth something. Maybe I CAN make a living off of this (because I certainly will fail if I return to "normal jobs", just like last time). The problem is that I want to manifest all these images of my human/humanoid OTPs. It's all I obsess over and want to see visualized in reality. I need to draw character fanart...But I'm so bad at anything human. ;____; And so easily frustrated at trying to study drawing fundamentals. x_____x

[cavalierious-whim]

Love, Misunderstood (FE3H)

Sylvix | Modern AU | Fake Dating | Teen So, here’s the thing: Felix doesn’t date anyone that isn’t his sabre.

----

A/N: I wrote this for the Sylvix Server's Secret Santa Event last year. Read here on AO3 for better quality! And follow me on Twitter here! @Satodee1 on Twitter drew an AMAZING fanart for this fic as well! I cannot believe I've been blessed so. Please take a look here and give them a follow!

----

Let go the fear of falling in love.

#

So, here’s the thing: Felix doesn’t date anyone that isn’t his sabre.

One, there isn’t time. By day he’s almost a professional athlete with dozens of fencing titles to his name, and by night he’s a business student double majoring in Marketing and Finance. His days are full of workouts and conditioning, a carefully maintained diet, and when the sport isn’t on his mind, his academics are.

Two, there’s no interest. None. Whatsoever. Felix has never once looked at another person and thought, Yes, I would like that one.

Which brings him to his current problem: there’s an annoyance in his face that some might think is pretty if they liked overly bleached hair and heavily lacquered nails. Gum pops in her mouth. She twirls a long tendril of hair around a finger like the love interest from a nineties sitcom.

Felix doesn’t just hate; he loathes and despises. Less so the girl and more so at being perceived as a romantic option. He feels as though he does a pretty good job selling the fact that he’s entirely off of the market, even going as far as snarling at hopefuls. Apparently, some people are just infuriatingly stubborn.

Or maybe just oblivious. Felix is starting to lean towards the latter, watching carefully as the girl stares back at him, dreamily.

“So, like,” she says, punctuating the words with a giggle, “I’m a big fan. Of you and you know, your fencing.”

Felix is a hundred percent sure that she has no idea what she’s talking about. What he says instead is, “I’m studying.” Neat and simple, and not even mean. Hopefully enough to fend her off. He’s almost proud of himself.

She blinks at him like she’s trying and failing to process what he’s just said. “So, that bout last weekend,” says the girl, relentless in her pursuit. “You really honed in the touches, winning before the time limit.”

This surprises him; maybe his earlier assessment is incorrect and she’s honestly a fencing fan. Felix meets her gaze and she stares back, smacking her gum, hair still wrapped around her finger, and eyes glinting.

Right, no, she’d just done her research.

“Thank you,” says Felix because he’s not entirely an asshole. “But as I said, I’m studying, so if you would--”

“It was truly riveting,” continues the girl, clasping her hands before her. “Your form is just exquisite.” She says the word like he’s a prized pig.

Felix is losing his patience, his fingers tightening around his pencil and squeezing tighter and tighter. It might snap under his grip. It’s happened before.

“Look,” says Felix, his tone hardening just a modicum, “I appreciate--”

“So, how about grabbing a bite to eat together?” asks the girl, batting her eyes at him in an exaggerated flourish.

Felix opens his mouth to say something rather nasty, but he’s interrupted by someone dropping into the chair next to him. “Darling.” An arm finds its way slung around his shoulder and Felix goes rigid. “I’m sorry that I’m late; got stuck in traffic. You know what rush hour is like.”

It takes everything for Felix to not grab the man’s arm and break his wrist.

Before he can do so though, the man looks to the girl and says, “A bite to eat? All of us? Group dates are always fun.”

The girl, to her credit, looks about as flabbergasted as Felix feels. “Um--”

“Unless you meant alone with my boyfriend?”

Felix immediately starts, turning to look at him incredulously. “Boyfriend--”

“My mistake,” the girl apologizes immediately. “I didn’t, um, realize that you… Anyway, thank you for the chat!” And with a wave, the bleached-blonde bimbo takes her leave.

Felix whirls onto the man next to him, immediately shrugging out of his grasp. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The man is lightly tanned, cheeks dusted with a spattering of warm freckles. His hair is auburn and unruly, curling wildly around his forehead and ears. His smile is crooked, a dimple forming at the left corner of his mouth. Handsome, if Felix likes people. He doesn’t, he reminds himself.

“Saving you,” the man says. “Really, she just wouldn’t let you go. It’s astonishing really, I could feel the leave me the fuck alone vibes radiating off of you from across the shop.”

Felix blinks at that. “I didn’t need help.”

“I think that you did.”

“I didn’t,” repeats Felix, unable to let go of his stubborn need to get the last word in. Glenn used to say that it was the best and worst part of him.

“You could have just told her no.” The man pauses, thumbing at his chin as though he’s amused. “You don’t seem the type to be nice and gently let someone down.”

Felix isn’t; he’s the type to throw books at people instead, and be brutally blunt about what he does and doesn’t want. “I was distracted,” he finally says, “I’m studying for an exam and she just caught me off guard. I promise you, had I been on my game I would have done far worse.”

The other man cocks his head to the side, watching him, and Felix already hates the calculating gaze. “You really go all in, don’t you?” he asks. “Just no fucks given as to what people think about you?”

“I’m not here to date, I’m here to go to school.”

“How boring,” says the man.

“I like boring,” says Felix.

There’s a beat and then, “I’m Sylvain.” Sylvain holds his hand out for a shake. Felix stares at it as though it might bite him, but Sylvain waits patiently. “You owe me at least yours.”

There isn’t a chance in hell that this man doesn’t know who Felix is; his face is plastered across every Garreg Mach University billboard this side of Fodlan. Still, Felix has been raised with manners and he can hear Glenn rolling over in his grave.

Felix hates manners but sucks it up.

“Felix,” he says finally, still ignoring Sylvain’s hand. “Thank you for the help, but I don’t need it. Now leave me alone. I don’t have time to entertain jockstraps like yourself.”

Sylvain eventually puts his hand down and watches Felix for a long moment. Felix doesn’t like the slightly amused grin that seems permanently attached to his face. “Got it,” says Sylvain eventually. He stands and throws his bag back over his shoulder. “Then this jockstrap will take his leave.”

Felix almost feels bad, prompting him to say, “My appreciation is honest. If you hadn’t stepped in I might’ve snapped the girl’s neck instead.” He expects him to run off at such vivid imagery, like so many do.

But instead, Sylvain just throws his head back and laughs, before leaving him be.

#

“Do you like Adrestian Barbecue?”

This one cuter than the last, pert little nose and wavy locks of brown framing her face nicely. Felix still isn’t remotely interested. “I’m studying,” he says, trying his best to sound at least polite. He’s not very good at it, but the woman pays it no mind.

“This’ll only take a moment,” she says. “I’m wondering if you’d like to go get lunch or something? There’s a great new place that’s just opened up off of Twenty-Fourth Street, and--”

“Babe,” someone cuts in, leaning over Felix’s shoulder, their cheeks barely inches from each other. Sylvain, Felix’s mind supplies before being annoyed that he’d remembered. Felix hadn’t seen him in the shop for a few weeks. Sylvain to his credit doesn’t sling his arm around and immediately drop into the chair without permission, he just hovers next to him. Waiting.

A slight improvement.

“Sylvain,” says Felix. Then pauses, unsure how to continue. He swallows and then, “You’re late.”

Sylvain chuckles. “Traffic.”

Felix huffs, a little emboldened. “That’s the excuse you used last time.”

“And it’s still true,” says Sylvain.

“Um,” says the woman who’s been interrupted. “I was trying to ask--”

“My boyfriend to lunch,” cuts in Sylvain. “Yes, I saw that. I can barely get him to go out with me, what makes you think that he’d have a go with you?”

Felix’s eyes nearly bulge at the aggressive raking. Sylvain seemed like a nice man the last they met, but perhaps Felix has underestimated him. It sounds like a jab straight from Felix’s book.

The woman’s mouth falls open and she gawks but quickly recovers. “Right,” she says. “My apologies, I’d thought-- Never mind that. Have a wonderful day Mr. Fraldarius.”

Felix cringes as she turns and walks away.

“Mr. Fraldarius,” drawls Sylvain, falling into the chair next to him. “I really do have a habit of coming to rescue you.”

“I didn’t need to be rescued,” says Felix, acerbically. “It isn’t my fault that you insist on butting in where you aren’t wanted.”

“So, you wanted to go grab lunch with her?”

Felix closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose, and lets out a frustrated grunt. “Absolutely not.” Sylvain doesn’t say anything, just watches him with unwavering patience. Eventually, Felix says, “Look, I appreciate your willingness to help, but--”

“You know, I could just pretend to be your boyfriend and they’d leave you alone for good.”

Felix blinks and then he scowls. “What?”

Sylvain shrugs, noncommittal. “You study here nearly every day. I study here too. I finally stepped in because you seem to get attention all of the time and it does nothing but annoy you. Seriously, people have no boundaries.”

Felix wants to tell Sylvain that he has no boundaries either, but decides not to fuel the fire. Instead, he says, “There’s no reason for you to help me, you would gain nothing from it.”

“Some peace and quiet. Do you know how hard it is to focus on schoolwork here when women and men are trying to approach you? I come here for the quiet, not to watch the latest episode of Blind Date.”

Sylvain has a point; the people who approach him tend to be rather loud about it. Felix thinks about the proposition for a moment. “No,” he finally says. “You don’t have to study here. Go elsewhere.”

“It’s preferable to my dorm,” says Sylvain, not bothering to elaborate. “And, I think that’s why you study here as well. You hate people and would do anything to avoid them entirely. Even if it means studying in public.”

Felix cringes because Sylvain’s nailed it on the head; the general public is less invasive than Ashe is. His roommate is nice but needlessly curious. “I don’t need your help.”

Sylvain opens his mouth to answer but stops when the barista comes by their table. “Felix,” he says, smiling kindly. “I’ve brought you a refill, yeah?” He drops a take-out cup to the table. “Just let me know if you want more.”

Felix nods, his lips quirking the slightest bit. The boy has always been nice to him and unfussy. “Thank you,” says Felix, genuinely.

The barista leaves and as Felix reaches for the cup, Sylvain raises his eyebrows. Felix’s mood immediately sours. “What?” snaps Felix acerbically.

Sylvain points to the cardboard sleeve around the cup. Felix turns it around to find the barista’s name and number written in curling script. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” says Felix. But, at least the barista has the decency not to accost him publicly. Felix rubs at his forehead.

“Say that I take you up on your offer,” starts Felix, already wanting to pull them back, “what are you expecting in return?”

“Nothing,” says Sylvain. Felix meets his eyes, narrowing his gaze as he watches him carefully. “Honestly,” continues Sylvain under the scrutiny. “I also like to study in peace, but I don’t like to sit at tables alone. I work better when there’s someone else there, even if it’s not to talk.”

“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard,” says Felix.

“So is every person on this campus thirsting after your mangy ass. It’s a mystery to me.” Sylvain bites back just as hard as Felix, it seems. Felix respects that, if only slightly.

“Fine,” says Felix. “But only because I’ve got tests coming up and I’m tired of being bothered.”

“It’s a deal then,” says Sylvain. “We study and pretend to be dating, reaping the benefits of a quiet and quaint coffee shop.”

“You’ll have to be convincing,” says Felix.

“So far, it’s worked.”

Sylvain holds his hand out to shake on the deal and Felix looks at it warily. Then, with a resigned sigh, he takes it. Sylvain’s hand is wide and warm, and it makes Felix want to pull away. He hates closeness and doesn’t do well with physical contact. When they part, Sylvain smiles and then finally drops his book bag from his shoulders, settling in.

Felix hopes to the Goddess above that he’s not making a mistake.

#

Felix wants to hate Sylvain on mere principle, but they fall into an easy companionship. Felix hates it, hates that he doesn’t dislike Sylvain. But, Felix doesn’t quite like him either, and it’s the last thread of hope that he hangs on to.

A week into the charade, Felix is still stunned by the fact that Sylvain actually studies. He expects Sylvain to joke or flirt incessantly. He hasn’t; Sylvain’s quiet when they sit at their table in the corner of the coffee shop, nose-deep in a math text.

Felix’s gaze narrows slightly when he reads the title. “You’re taking Calculus III?”

“No,” says Sylvain, eyes not leaving his book. He flips a page, looking bored. “It’s a prerequisite, so I’ve already taken it, but sometimes I have to revisit.”

“Already taken it?” Sylvain taps another textbook to the side and Felix’s eyes widened. “Ordinary and Partial Differential Mathematics?” Felix can not for the life of him, think of a degree that would require a course like this.

Sylvain hums. “Yeah, it’s my required math for this semester.”

“For a jockstrap like yourself?” The nickname has stuck and so far, Sylvain hasn’t stopped Felix from using it.

Finally, Sylvain looks up, eyes crinkling in amusement. “I like math,” he says simply, “and I’m good at it. It’s an easy course for me.”

Felix isn’t sure what’s easy about math that he doesn’t even grasp the purpose of, but Sylvain’s only proven himself to be a weird man at his core. Sylvain looks at Felix’s book in return.

“Statistics,” says Sylvain. Felix has a distinct impression that he’s not remotely impressed.

“A requirement,” says Felix. “If I had a choice, I wouldn’t take math at all. But it’s part of a Business degree.”

“Business.” Sylvain snorts. “What a boring degree. Aren’t you here for fencing?”

“On a fencing scholarship, yes. There’s no future in a sport, though.” Felix narrows his eyes at him. “Something that you should probably learn.”

Sylvain’s got the build of a footballer, though, so Felix knows that he’s likely on that track. But, Sylvain doesn’t really talk about himself much, let alone his schooling. He has a tendency to watch people carefully with a gaze that’s far too knowing.

Felix never likes that look, like Sylvain’s mind is far away and thinking. A thinking Sylvain is likely a dangerous Sylvain. It’s always the ones you least suspect. Glenn would have been best friends with this dolt.

“What?” says Felix, annoyed.

“Nothing,” says Sylvain, turning back to his textbook.

Felix frowns but doesn’t push to ask more.

As the weeks pass, things shift from a tentative, peaceful study, into an actual friendship. Felix wants to hate it; a large part of him wants to loathe it because he doesn’t like people, nor does he like it when people admire him in return.

But, Felix has learned in their brief time together that it’s not all bad. Not every person who is friendly with you wants something in return. Being a Fraldarius has severely skewed the way that he views the general public, but Sylvain seems to have no idea what his roots are, thank the Goddess.

It’s led to a low-key relationship, full of quiet jokes and genuine care. Felix grudgingly accepts it.

Like always, Felix finds Sylvain holding their table in the corner, a cup of coffee already ordered and waiting for him. Bernadetta’s handmade mugs might be odd and a little bizarre, but they serve drinks all the same, even if it loses its heat more quickly.

Sylvain once berated him for his wasteful use of to-go cups and Felix relented without much of a fight. Much to his irritation.

“One large red-eye, black as your soul,” says Sylvain, pushing the cup towards Felix. “I think he threw in an extra shot this time.”

Felix grunts, noncommittally, drops his bag to the ground and slumps into his chair. The mug is hot to the touch, so it must be fresh, and Felix leans over to inhale deeply. Sylvain makes a gagging sound which causes Felix to glare at him.

“No judgment,” says Sylvain. Then he pauses. “Actually, a lot of judgment because only stone-cold dicks can drink that dredge--”

“Go back to the field,” snaps Felix, before taking a sip. It’s dark and bitter as it burns through his veins. Perfection, really. Sylvain just has bad taste.

“Always with the jock references,” says Sylvain. “At least you haven’t called me jockstrap yet.”

“Apt name for someone like yourself.”

Sylvian blinks. “What does that even mean?”

Felix huffs. “An athlete, you dolt.” He takes another sip. “You make fun of my sport enough that it's only appropriate that I do the same.”

Sylvain is quiet for a long moment and then he bursts out laughing. “Wait, wait,” he starts. “You think I’m an athlete? Why?”

“You're built like a footballer,” says Felix. “Infuriatingly tall and broad.”

“Not to say that jocks are dumb, or anything, but with my courseload what makes you think that I even have time to think about playing a sport?”

Felix thinks for a long moment, coming to realize that even with their burgeoning friendship, he knows next to nothing about Sylvain. He’s easy to get along with, they’ve fallen into an easy routine and Felix even finds that studying flies by with little to no thought by his side. Something about Sylvain’s quiet presence in the coffee shop makes it easier to focus.

Still.

“Wait, you don’t?” asks Felix. “Why didn’t you ever say--”

“I thought that you were just insulting me, I didn’t think that you actually thought that I--” Sylvain stops, laughing again. “I’m sorry, this is hilarious. It shows just how bad you are with people. Pure comedic gold.”

“You said you were on scholarship!”

At that, Sylvain raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, an academic one. Astronomy and Astrophysics.”

“Astrophysics?” blurts Felix incredulously.

In retrospect, it’s painfully obvious, he thinks. Suddenly, the textbooks of differential calculus and other various maths and sciences he can’t pronounce make a hell of a lot more sense. He reaches out, lifting the book that Sylvain’s currently working from, eyeballing the title.

“Steller, Galactic and Extragalactic Astronomy,” Felix reads. Then he moves to the next. “Statistical Quantum Mechanics.” Felix meets Sylvain’s sheepish gaze. “You aren’t joking, are you?”

“I’ve wanted to understand the planets ever since I saw Star Trek as a kid--”

“Are you really basing your degree on a television show that you watched growing up? One that isn’t even that good?”

Sylvain’s mouth dropped open. “Oh, you did not just disrespect the best television show to ever have been created.”

“I’m not having this conversation,” says Felix. “I have an essay for Business Statistics, and it’s going to be hard enough to focus knowing that you’re doing experimental math over there.”

“Theoretical math,” says Sylvain, coyly correcting him.

“Whatever,” hisses Felix. “Honestly, being a footballer would be less annoying.”

Sylvain frowns slightly. “Than being smart?”

“What?” Felix scowls. “No, that isn’t what I meant. I don’t give a rat’s ass how smart you are, but really, Sylvain-- Star Trek?”

Sylvain lets out a long breath and Felix realizes that he must be used to being judged. Sylvain doesn’t have the typical look of a scientist when you think about it. He’s handsome and well built, looking like he spends more time on a beach than a mechanics lab.

Felix has the decency to be at least a little bit embarrassed for assuming, not that he’d publicly admit to it.

“Look, just go back to your book,” says Felix. “I’ll go back to mine. And if I have any math questions, I’m going to expect your help.”

At that, Sylvain lets out a little chuckle, different from his usual boisterous laugh. It takes Felix a moment to realize that it’s a genuine moment from Sylvain, one where he’s let down all those walls he’s carefully put up.

It seems that he’s even more guarded than Felix is, something of mild interest. If Felix took an interest in things. He doesn’t, he thinks, but it’s more like he’s trying to convince himself.

“Alright,” says Sylvain. “But I don’t know how much help I’ll be. Simple math confuses me more than this does.”

What a ridiculous thing to say, but it’s not as annoying as the way that Felix’s mouth twitches into a near smile.

#

In the aftermath of Felix’s assumed snafu, Sylvain makes irritating strides to get to know Felix better. Irritating, because Felix has come to learn that he likes spending time with the genius of a chump, be it lunches between classes, or dinner after their study session. A variety of low-commitment activities that are usually full of small talk that Felix is angered he doesn’t hate.

“Just to be more convincing,” said Sylvain, doing most of the talking like always. Felix was inclined to agree, considering that Annette told him that Sylvain wasn’t his type and the idea of the two of them together seemed frankly, odd.

“I don’t get what the issue is,” says Annette, one day that seems like eons after Felix struck his deal with Sylvain. It’s past winter holiday and creeping into the spring, warm enough to catch a snack at the crepe stand after Annette’s yoga class. “Are you bothered that you like to spend time with him?”

“No, that’s not--” Felix pauses. “I’m not good at making friends.”

“We’re friends,” says Annette, shoving a mouthful of crepe into her mouth.

Felix wants to remind her that they met after she asked him to dinner, and it was the one time he’d said yes. It lasted about thirty minutes before they both decided dinner was a bust and went bowling instead. Annette kicked his ass, looked pretty while doing it and he’d felt nothing in return.

Instead, he says, “You're persistent.” It’s half-hearted and he doesn’t really mean it, but Annette’s cheeks puff up anyway.

“Oh, Felix! You’re evil,” huffs Annette, but she never stays mad at him for long, turning her attention back to her food.

“Sylvain is… different,” says Felix, as they sit down on a bench.

Annette nods sagely. “I mean, yeah, isn’t that why you like him?”

“He’s sufferable.”

“I mean, I’ll admit, he’s an odd choice and definitely not your type but--”

“Wait, Annette,” says Felix. “Do you think that I actually like him? As in romantically?”

She blinks at him, confused. “I mean, don’t you?” asks Annette around a mouthful of food. She’s never been very ladylike, but it’s a breath of fresh air at the end of all things. Normally it would endear Felix. But.

“ What?” snaps Felix, eyes immediately narrowing. “Of course I don’t, this entire thing has been a ruse to get people to leave me alone.”

Annette chews at her food thoughtfully for a second and then says, “But you enjoy spending time with him.”

“I’ve made that apparent,” says Felix. “It vexes me.”

“You’ve admired how smart he is.”

“Infuriatingly so, but it’s useful when we study.” Felix pauses. “Don’t tell him that I said that.”

“You spend your free time with him,” says Annette, gesturing at Felix with her crepe. “This is the first time I’ve seen you face-to-face in like a month, but you go out of your way to see him every day.”

At that, Felix starts, mouth snapping shut as he thinks. Annette’s right, he does go out of his way to spend time with Sylvain. And if they can’t meet properly, it’s texting. Sylvain’s usually the one to greet him in the morning with a corny horoscope that neither of them believes, but still laugh about. And Felix is usually the one to say goodnight, even if it isn’t warranted.

It feels wrong if they don’t share words at least once a day.

“Annette,” says Felix.

“Hm?” hums Annette, cheeks bulging around the last bite of her crepe.

“Am I in love with him?” It’s rhetorical, of course, and dreadful in tone, but Annette answers anyway.

“Would that be a bad thing?”

“No,” says Felix, mouth parted in awe as though the heavens had just been explained to him. Or, Sylvain explained theoretical warp theory and Felix finally understood it. That’ll never happen, but--

“I love him.” The words come easier than he expects and they fill him with unexpected warmth. He wants more of it. He’s also afraid of it, but if there’s anything that Felix is good at, it’s striking something head-on with force.

He hasn’t lost a fencing match in nearly three years.

Annette, blessedly, is quiet for once, just watching him process his feelings. And when he’s done, when Felix comes to his conclusion, she asks, “Do you feel better?”

“Yes,” says Felix, and it’s honest and true, and strangely welcome. He hasn’t felt this good in years. Certainly not since Glenn passed.

“Good,” says Annette, “Now go kiss him.”

Felix’s answer is dumping the rest of his crepe directly into her lap, the loss of his snack well justified.

#

Because Felix’s life is apparently a romantic comedy, he expects things between him and Sylvain to become awkward.

It doesn't. In fact, everything is disgustingly normal. They keep their study dates, emphasis on the study part. Sylvain still greets him with his coffee order, and on the few occasions that Felix beats him to the shop, he greets Sylvain with his ridiculous white mocha, extra whip.

There are a few differences, Felix supposes.

When Sylvain leans over to help with a math problem, Felix turns to him. They meet eyes more often than not. Felix willingly covers Sylvain’s dinner, which raises an eyebrow because he’s notoriously stingy.

But, if Felix seems off, Sylvain never mentions it or broaches the topic. It’s aggravating, how easy it is to just keep to the routine. And it’s not that Felix doesn’t want more; ever since his talk with Annette, he finds himself entertaining the idea further.

He’s done a lot of thinking. Sylvain’s handsome, there isn’t a doubt about it, but that’s not what pulls Felix to him. Sylvain’s smart as a whip and doesn’t mince his words. And yes, he puts walls up and dances about things personal, but Felix does the same.

And lately, Sylvain’s started to pull those walls down, comfortable in Felix’s presence.

No one’s ever comfortable around him and Felix is struck by how much it means. Feelings are hard and love is even worse. Felix isn’t quite sure that it’s worth it.

But, he hasn’t written the idea entirely off.

“Felix?”

Felix blinks. “I, er--”

Sylvain’s mouth tugs slightly downward at one side. Concerned. “Are you okay? You seem distracted.”

“Fencing,” blurts Felix. “The big tourney coming up.”

“You mean the one two weeks ago?”

Okay, so, Felix has been more distracted than he cares to admit. It’s all Sylvain’s fault. “Sylvain, it’s nothing. I’m just tired. School is draining. The usual.”

“Tired,” says Sylvain, unconvinced. He leans back in his chair, arms crossed and watching Felix carefully. Curse Sylvain’s perceptiveness and his ability to look right through people.

“Look, Sylvain--”

“Felix Fraldarius,” drawls another voice. They both turn to find a familiar face framed by bleach blonde hair and twirling a lock around her fingers. There’s the snap of gum in her mouth as she chews open-mouthed and unflattering.

Immediately, Sylvain is on the defensive. “Hey--”

“Hold it, golden boy,” says the girl, “I know you aren’t really dating. Heard it one day after you grabbed a bite to eat.”

Sylvain’s face darkens. “Have you been following us?”

The girl makes a face at the accusation. “Ugh, as if. It was a coincidence, I swear, but what a wonderful one. Means that I’ve got a chance.”

Felix immediately bites back, hackles raised. “I already had little interest, but as of right now, there’s not even a remote possibility of you having a chance.”

“Is it really so hard to just give it a go? You might even like me.” She bats her eyes in a pathetic attempt to appeal to him, but all Felix can think of his tanned skin dotted with freckles and sun-kissed auburn hair.

“Doubtful,” says Felix, dryly.

It takes only a second for her features to change dramatically, from coy and shy to contemptuous and sneering. “I wonder why I even bothered,” says the girl, before nodding to Sylvain. “Clearly your taste isn’t as good as I would have thought. Haven’t you heard the rumors about him?”

Yes, ad nauseum. From friends, the general public, even Sylvain himself. His problems with women and dating, and commitment issues. His brother and father, and the pressure of family legacy. At first, from those around them who’d heard of their dating, who’d seen them hanging out. People who felt it their duty to warn Felix.

And eventually, Sylvain himself who’s recently opened up about the heavy baggage that he carries around, shouldering it without much of a complaint. If anything, Sylvain’s the one looking out for others.

So yes, Sylvain doesn’t have a stellar reputation, but there’s a lot more to a person than what’s seen on the surface. A lesson that Felix has spent the last half-year learning quite unwillingly.

“Do you think yourself superior?” asks Felix, eyes narrowing at her. “You have no concept of personal space, nor do you seem to comprehend the words ‘no’ and ‘not interested’. Sylvain could murder someone in cold blood and still have twice the worth that you hold.”

“It’s a wonder, why you would even consider him,” scoffs the girl.

“Obviously it’s because I love him and despite the terrible things the lot of you gossip about, he makes me perfectly happy.”

The table goes quiet, both the girl and Sylvain staring at him. Likely, for different reasons. Felix didn’t mean to say it so plainly, but he’s never been good at pulling his punches, even when it comes to verbal lashings.

Besides, she brought it upon herself.

And against all odds, Felix feels wholly and utterly satisfied, not a moment of regret at his confession. He takes a sip of his coffee, fingers curled around his mug tenderly, meeting her gaze head-on.

“You should leave,” says Sylvain, before the girl can even respond. She opens her mouth to retort, but stops when Sylvain smiles at her. Only it isn’t a smile, it’s a nasty-looking smirk, more like a wolf that’s about to pounce its prey.

Wisely, she backs off, huffing in annoyance as she turns and leaves.

And then there are two, sitting at a table in silence. Felix is oddly comfortable, sipping at his drink while Sylvain’s mouth opens and closes. Thinking about what he’s going to say. Felix supposes that he’s opened the inevitable can of worms.

“So,” starts Sylvain, “correct me if I’m wrong, but when you said that you love me, it sounded pretty genuine.”

Felix scoffs, he can’t help it. “I always mean the things that I say.”

He expects Sylvain to bolt, to run away, to want nothing to do with this. Instead, Sylvain smiles, small and real, regarding Felix with a kind of warmth that immediately sets him on high alert.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” asks Felix, testily. But Sylvain only chuckles, soft at first and then louder. “Really Sylvain? You’re laughing? Right now?”

“Sorry,” says Sylvain, “It’s not actually funny-- okay, that’s a lie, it’s hilarious.”

Felix frowns, sneering defensively. “Is the idea of me loving someone, least of all you, so entertaining?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?” demands Felix, exasperated. Sylvain’s not one to beat around the bush, but he can’t seem to find his words, too busy being amused by Felix’s feelings, to his utter embarrassment.

“It’s because I love you too.”

Felix’s mouth falls open because that’s the last thing he expects Sylvain to say. He doesn’t answer, gaping openly at Sylvain, floundering for an explanation. Eventually, Sylvain finds himself, clearing his throat slightly.

Sylvain looks to Felix’s face and then his gaze drops to where his hand rests on the table. Considering. Felix really hopes that he’s not planning on taking it, but Sylvain does, fingers tugging at his palm gently.

Felix lets it happen, settling on the explanation that he’s just not like himself at the moment.

“Felix,” says Sylvain, this time quieter and more serious. He thumbs at Felix’s knuckles, the touch soft and hesitant. “I’ll admit, I’m a little bit relieved.”

“I’m annoyed,” says Felix. “I’ve been annoyed since the moment I realized it because all I’ve been able to do is think of you. It’s infuriating in the worst of ways.”

There’s a moment that passes as they watch each other, Sylvain’s hand practically burning around Felix’s. And then, Sylvain says, “Felix, can I kiss you?”

Yes, Felix thinks. It’s such a foreign feeling that he nearly pulls away but he doesn’t. He’s determined to indulge. It’s about time he’s enjoyed something in his life.

So, what he says instead is, “If you must,” the words clipped but his usual crustiness softer than normal. It makes Sylvain smile at him again, looking at Felix like he can see right through him.

Sylvain leans forward smoothly, cupping Felix’s jaw in his other hand. He’s still looking at him, like he’s some sort of treasure, paused right before Felix’s mouth. And that makes Felix impatient.

Felix is the one to close the distance, sealing their lips together like a promise. Sylvain’s mouth is soft under his, but he responds eagerly, his han moving to the back of his neck. Felix has never really put stock into the whole sparks flew and things were felt nonsense. Turns out that he’d been wrong and that kissing is kind of everything. All he can think of is Sylvain’s presence and the solid weight of him as he leans in.

Sylvain licks into the kiss, but only just barely, coaxing a tad more than just a mild response from Felix. And Felix can feel his skin burning bright red with strain, or embarrassment, or maybe just the idea that they’re doing this in public.

He doesn’t care, Felix wants more, fingers curling into Sylvain’s shirt and tugging slightly.

Eventually, they part because breathing is necessary and even Felix requires air. Regrettably. He wants to go back in, to kiss Sylvain again, just one more time before he gains his senses back and thinks better of it.

But first.

“You know, I’ll kill you if you hurt me,” says Felix, fingers tightening their grip around  Sylvain’s shirt.

Sylvain laughs, leaning close to Felix's ear and pressing a soft kiss there. “I know. But that’s a chance I’m willing to take.”

[fe-semi-decent-scenarios]

FE3H: Felix x Reader {Territorial}

Premise: This war won’t take another thing from Felix, at least not on his own soil. 

Part: (1/2) {Next} 

Warning: Angst, Loss, et cetera.

Note: Thank you to whoever commented that they could not see the fic. Tumblr’s formatting deleted it when I corrected some tags, and I never would have known. 

Nothing chased away warmth like a Fargeus snowstorm. Every gust of wind whipped each target with fervor, leaving behind red frost-bitten tattoos in their wake. It was a soldier’s worst nightmare, but only if they were unprepared. For the country’s citizens it was their greatest weapon. To be victorious, one must know the elements. They must know how to turn the world against their enemies. This was their playing field, and the grave of all those who dared to challenge.

 Felix was a Fraldarious. He knew these grounds like the back of his hand and took pride in his strength. On neutral territory he was already a force to be reckoned with, but here? Here he was a storm. Here his sword acts as the finishing blow to the havoc his homeland is known for. Here he is unchallenged, until confidence cannot act as the deciding wager.

 The enemy had come prepared this time around; heavy gear to battle the storm in addition to reinforced weaponry. The Empress was no fool and had cornered his troops within their own domain. He should have expected as much from someone who had the opportunity to study his land, and ignorance would to be his downfall. At the beginning of the battle there were hundreds amidst his battalion. Each a strong solider personally appointed to his care by the Professor, and it was their duty to clear a path for the rest of the incoming army. He was to lead them, and he failed. Not one remained, and now he was out of options. If he didn’t think fast, then the next troop would-

 ‘Shit’

 He bit down on his lip, holding back the curses bubbling at his throat. A sniper almost caught him off guard, but with a blast of thoron he countered. For what felt like hours he had been slowly picking off the Empire’s soldiers, but that wasn’t good enough. If he didn’t hurry the next troop would be decimated. Her troop. Felix couldn’t let that happen, not when they were so close to victory. With new resolve he unsheathed his sword, stepped over the body of his latest victim, and began to advance towards the advancing enemy.

 “So, the pest finally decides to show himself,” Hubert. At one time Felix found him a worthy opponent. Despite his disturbing habits the man was strong, he’d give him that. With him was at least twenty other soldiers only counting those not camouflaged by snow.

 “Shut up,” Felix gave no time to talk. Quickly, he casted meteor in hopes of temporarily disbursing the others and made haste to Hubert. In attempt catch him off balance Felix swiped at his legs but was pushed back with Nosfuratu. It singed his clothes, yet he easily ignored the cold biting his exposed flesh. Another perk of fighting on familiar territory.

 Hubert followed up with a bolganone and Felix quickly rolled away. From the side another swordsman tried to jump him, and he sliced off their forearm without blinking. Time was slimming. In the distance he noticed a smoke signal and swiftly aimed a fire spell at the snow. Quick thinking indeed.

 A heavy mist temporarily overtook the area. Hubert was a mage, and therefore he would need magic to fight. Reason spells create light. Felix has his sword, and now had the advantage.

 ‘You’re mine’

 With Hubert on the defensive he took the chance to nock out the lesser nuisances. An archer, a priest, a mage, knight, swordsmen; he may not be a rouge but damn he fit the role. As the wind picked up again the mist began to fade. More voices entered the area as shouts of challenge echoed.

There wasn’t time to see if they were friend or foe. Not with the thunder that barely missed his head.

 “Who’s hiding now?!” He shouted and launched his own. Hubert merely grunted in disgust before raising his arm to cast another spell.

 “I am no coward, merely an opportunist,” Before Felix could even feel confused, someone slammed into him. The impact caused his sword to fly somewhere off into the snow, and the air was so thick that even his discerned eye couldn’t find it. In a moment of relapse his attacker wrestled him to the ground. The voices from before grew closer, almost deafening. Ignoring Hubert, he moved briefly to snap the neck of the solider on top of him. A fatal mistake.

 As the decoy fell breathless, a spark of light grew closer. So near that the conduction ripped a path through the snow.

 So close, that static tingled his cheeks as his life crumbled before him.

 “NO!” His scream tore through the valley. Within that moment more warriors tore through the field at his sides. The next troop had arrived earlier than expected, and he failed to disengage the enemy. Hubert pulled back at the cry for their fallen captain, and so the battle raged on further. For a moment Felix stilled and wondered how far the next platoon was. He could still fight but-no.

 He crouched to the ground and maneuvered the body at his feet to rest in his arms. She hadn’t made a sound. No cry of pain, no warning; maybe she did and the wind silenced it. All Felix knew was that she bought him time, and he wasn’t going to leave her here.

 “You fool…” he removed his glove and reached two fingers to the crevice of her neck. At first, he felt nothing. Anger and mourning both swelled in his chest as his brows grew taught. A moment passed, yet his hand remained. Another. The cold began to set in. Another, and as he moved to pull away a faint pulse thumped against his fingertips. That was all he needed.

 Felix hoisted her into his arms and ran into the forest. This was his land. As a child he’d travel around with his father and brother, so much that he could pull out mental maps of Fargeus territory like nothing. Battle tactics and formations were drilled into him since the moment he could wield a sword. He was a solider trained to protect his home, and now his home would protect him.  As he waddled through the snow the woman in his arms trembled. He pulled her closer to himself, yet it persisted.

 ‘It’s here somewhere. I know it- there,’ His eyes squinted against the harsh blizzard until a slab of grey appeared in the distance. Then he was sprinting with snow kicking up in his wake to cover his tracks. The blurry grey soon formed the image of rock, and within that rock was a crevice big enough to fit a single person. With the storm raging on it was barely noticeable, but this is what he needed. Felix shifted the unconscious girl to a standing position and hugged her close. Carefully he hoisted her to hover above the ground and cradled the back of her head as he began to slide between the rock. It was a tight fit for two, but soon the walls began to expand until they were inside a small cavern. Erosion had done the space justice by leaving enough room for them to barely fit.

 During his childhood Sylvain had discovered the secret cavern. Whenever they’d play near the area it was their hiding spot, and no matter how hard his father tried the two would never be found. Eventually visits to the woods became scarce since Margrave Gautier grew angry with his son’s tricks. The place was then forgotten as they grew older; until now.

 “Felix?” her voice startled him. With haste he removed his outer layer and laid it on the ground, before settling her batter body on top of it.

 “Oi! Can you hear me?” no answer. Her eyes were half open, glazed, and unfocused. He lit a spark of fire within his palm for light and held up two fingers with his other.

 “(Y/N), how many fingers am I holding?” her head lolled against the hard surface like that of a newborn child, “Dammit try and focus. How many fingers?” Her breath remained labored and his chest ached.

 “S-six,”

 ‘Crap. What now?’  Not a good sign. Felix didn’t know the first thing about faith magic, and now he wished he’d taken Mercedes’ class. No one was coming for them. He needed to get moving back to the monastery, but how?

 With one hand still producing fire, Felix tried to examine where exactly the wound was. He couldn’t let his emotions best him. Not now, not with her life on the line. He failed his troops, but he won’t fail her. Not again.

 “My back…” her voice came hoarse. Without a word he gently rolled her body over. Angling the fire just right allowed him to see the damage, and the sight was horrid. Underneath tattered cloth was feathered burn marks, each stemming across her flesh like ribbons. His eyebrows crinkled as he reached to touch one, only for her entire body to jerk back. He could do nothing for this.

 “(Y/N) we need to get out of here. There has to be a healer somewhere, so you have to hold on,” he said.

 “M-my pocket…v-vulnery…stomach…ears ringing,” he reached into her pocket without delay. In any other circumstance an action like this would make him flustered, but there wasn’t time. She was fading. The moment he grasped the bottle he pulled off the lid.

 “Can you swallow?” she nodded, and he positioned her head to lay on his lap. Just a little longer and they could run. Felix let go of the fire, and slowly poured the bottles contents into her mouth. Bit by bit he’d wait for her to swallow, and every few moments she’d almost slip from consciousness. Then he’d rest and keep her talking.  If there is one thing Mercedes did teach him, it’s that talking is a good sign.

 After the bottle was empty, they both sat in silence. He tried to hold a conversation but with the sounds of war in the distance it was difficult. Half of him wanted to go fight, to try and turn the tides of battle. Yet the other half of him made him stay. When he’d look down to see her face scrunched in agony the decision became easy. The vulnery began to take effect as her muscles tensed at his touch.  His battle was fought for the day, as was hers. All he wanted was Hubert. If the bastard lived beyond the heist, then there would be a hunt.

 A glimpse outside showed the sun beginning to fall. It was time to leave. If not, then the next opportunity wouldn’t arise until morning.

 “(Y/N), we have to go,” his words left no room for argument. Her once disoriented gaze now appeared more focused. She would have to cope as is, and without a word he hoisted her into his arms. She gasped when his hand grazed her back, and with a murmured apology he held her just like before.

 “Where are we going now? My men…” She said. Once freed from the cave he positioned her onto his back. Too weak to protest, her head simply drifted onto his shoulder. A sight that once made his heart pound, now only brought sorrow.  

 “Worry about yourself first,” he grumbled, pressing onward. He didn’t mean for it to come out harsh, but his emotions were already being stretched thin.

 “You know I can’t do that,” she said in a whisper. His gaze trailed to the specs of light in the far distance. A village? He didn’t remember one being so close. It would be a risk but they had no other option

 “Yes, I do. If you did, we wouldn’t be in this mess,”

 “Felix not now,”

 She was tired. The weak grip on his shoulders said it all and yet he couldn’t bring himself to back down. His jaw clenched as he tried to not squeeze her legs tighter. Not now? He didn’t get the option of ‘now,’ when she almost died in his arms.

 “And why not? I don’t need someone protecting me,” He all but growled out.

 “If I didn’t then you would have died,”

 “So, what of it? I am not a child and my actions aren’t your- “

 “Felix, we are a team! It is my business” Cracked and full of desperation, her voice rung in his ear. He sensed no regret, which angered him the most. Listening to her ragged breath, watching his men be slaughtered, knowing that if he was simply better… she was right. Now was not the time.

 “…save your energy. Don’t fall asleep,” he pressed onward.

[unfriendlyamazon]

tagged in this thanks to @dominocity and i spend more time looking at my ao3 stats then i care to admit...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

36 works on AO3, plus one on my super secret (not really) second AO3 so I don’t contaminate my fandoms.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

165,078

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Baby Dragon - jurassic park if it was a romcom

Liking You and Me - this one is one of the earliest kaijou fics i wrote (besides the one i deleted), and i don’t even know if i like it anymore... but i get frequent kudos and comments so i guess it’s good!

In Awe of Flowers - they don’t even kiss!!! also @jadenvargen drew me a comic in the comments and i never thanked him for it because i was too scared to talk to him and tagging him now so long after the fact seems pretty ridiculous but um thank you jay for real.

Sweater Weather - kaijou for when you had a bad day

A Hand to Hold - kaijou hand kink this one i am actively embarrassed of (also, before i saw the light on trans joey)

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try really hard to! If the fic is really old I don’t (i don’t know why i can’t explain it), but I really appreciate when people take the time to comment and I want them to know it.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t... really have any?? I write plenty of angsty situations. Competitionverse (my duke/seto business business au) is probably the angstiest one and the one I have the worst plans for. I have some secret fanfic of 1930s gangster Joey that I’ve kind of put out in the world so maybe that?

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Haaahaha what drew me back to fanfiction after not writing it for at least a decade was domestic portraits of kaijou so, like, that’s what I write. Probably Baby Dragon or In Awe of Flowers.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Not crossovers but I write... a lot of AUs and in fact did an entire compilation one year for NaNoWriMo I never finished. Most niche is the Black Tapes AU that yes I do have a full outline for including timelines for every characters and how they intersect with the grand conspiracy, and maybe the wildest is Long Way to a Small Angry Planet just for making Joey a feathered reptile alien.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I’ve gotten some comments over writing Duke as non-binary and kind of a weird one on my super secret FE3H fanfiction fighting me on a plot point??

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I didn’t, but now I do. I don’t post 90% of what I write, which is maybe weirder?  It’s been really good to be pushed there by friends and develop that part of my writing, so maybe I’ll post more. Probably not tho. I feel like I’ve branded myself as the KaiJou hand kink person but I still don’t write it enough to be anyone’s go-to.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No?? I don’t think so???

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but it’d be super cool.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I guess not technically. Me and @saggiclowns bounce ideas off each other, write fanfiction for each other’s fanfiction, and have definitely developed things together, so maybe that counts? But our IP is individualized.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I have almost exclusively written KaiJou so you think that’d be the obvious answer. I think my actual all time favorite ship that sends me to the moon is probably Marceline/Bubblegum from Adventure Time (the history!!!! the animosity!!!!! the friendship!!!!!!!), I just... don’t want to read AT fanfiction.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hahahaaaaaaa. I am WIP queen!! Back in the day I’d start a hundred fanfics just to abandon them! The same’s true of today I just don’t post every thought that comes into my head. Star Trek AU deserves so much more of my attention and I do have a plan for it and I bought a special little Star Trek notebook to keep all my thoughts ideas and notes in and then when it comes to writing it I struggle.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Genuinely, to toot my own horn, I feel I write very naturalistic dialogue and for the longest time writing dialogue was the easiest thing in the world to me, to the point that sometimes I would skip over anything else. Also, gosh I love world building. I could go from a blank screen to a fully articulated society complete with maps, pantheons, and intricate histories for every location. The problem is then writing it.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to get very stuck on things and struggle to skip over them. Last year’s NaNoWriMo was a testament to that, and I kept rewriting and getting frustrated and will inevitably end up trashing the whole thing. I pick up new ideas constantly and then discard them for the next thought in my head. It’s part of why I’ve only really let myself write one shots and short fic, but I do have some longer WIP I’d love to actually finish.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

This is a tricky one and I’ve read and listened to a lot of people talk about how other non-fluent languages are presented in all kinds of different art. I personally don’t have a strong opinion. Best practice is to find someone who is fluent in that language to help you translate it (and there used to be whole blogs dedicated to helping people with this, I don’t know if they’re still around), but that doesn’t mean I’ve never jammed anything into a translator.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

This... is interesting because the answer is YuGiOh. Back in my middle school days my friends were very into ygo and wrote silly like chat formatted fics that we posted on DeviantArt (???) that were just really bad and stupid and silly, and the only reason I even thought about ygo was because all my friends liked it. The first fandom I actually really got involved in was Teen Titans, and ATLA I was, like, a recognizable presence. I fell off extremely hard probably thanks to college and have spent most of my life focusing on original fiction and writing my own characters. Then my best friend sent me a piece of fanart that unlocked my childhood memories, and here we are now, in the only fandom.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I wrote Bite Hard and it might be one of the best things I’ve written... and now I’ve kind of repurposed it into an original fiction??? I think the main characters might always be buddies no matter how much I’ve manipulated them, but it’s kind of spun off into it’s own thing? That’s what fanfiction’s for! Experimentation, playing with ideas, having a sandbox to build in! And then I EL James it and make millions! (jk)

@saggiclowns doesn’t post to AO3 that much, and i don’t know if @danieco even has an AO3 but they are extremely good writers!! also if you write fic, please share your own!

[firemblem-fics]

Smitten Kitten [3]

one | two | three | four | finale

-> Pairing: Felix x Female!Reader | Hybrid!Au (mostly platonic idk)

-> Words: 1.6k

-> Warnings: Cursing, A Literal Karen, Mentions of Abuse (not too in depth, but still there), Manipulation, a Slightly Suggestive Conversation

-> Genre: Fluff, Crack, Some Angst

-> Summary: You never wanted to be involved with hybrids. They were risky and had too many rules for you. But what will you do when a little black and white cat that you take in turns out to be the very thing you steered clear of?

-> A/N: so I made two FE3H oc’s and also have gotten back into drawing so I was wondering ... how would y’all feel if I wrote and also posted some of my drawings and stuff here? it would give y’all more content and I’d probably be inclined to post more often lol anyways enjoy

“This is fucking stupid-”

“Stupid? Felix, you lied to me.”

You were livid. First this fuck-ass cat shows up in your life, worms his way into your heart even though you swore you wouldn’t get a hybrid, and then brings all kinds of trouble with him. If you weren’t already so attached to him, you’d just let the people- Doug and Karen- take him. But you couldn’t. You cared too much.

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s a huge deal! You told me that they didn’t want you, not that you ran away. Do you know how this can affect me keeping you? They can take me to court or something and get you back.”

“But you signed the papers, I’m yours.”

Your heart fluttered, but you ignored it. “You’re mine, but you also belong to these people. I can’t just take you from them, but I can’t let you go back to them if they were that bad to you- were they even bad? Or did you just not like them? Did you lie to me about that too?”

Felix’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t like them because they were bad. Look at ‘em. They don’t love anything except for the gold around their necks, especially not me. I was literally put in cat shows to earn money. If I ever got below first place, they’d…”

He shuddered and sat down on the edge of your bed. You leaned against the door, arms crossed. From the other room you heard talking. Ashe probably saw your front door open and came to investigate.

Felix couldn’t look you in the eyes. You looked so hurt. Not even angry- just hurt. “Please don’t make me go back.”

You sighed and dropped your arms. “I don’t want you to go back, Fe. But I- I don’t know what else to do. They’ve obviously got more money and if they take me to court they’ll win for being ‘better equipped’ to care for you.”

“But they’re not.” His voice was growing desperate. “You are. What if- what if we can prove the center that you’re better than them? Courts don’t deal with Hybrid ownership, the facilities do. Nancy does.”

At that moment, the door creaked open. Two red ears appeared first, then a mop of red hair.

Sylvain grinned and walked in, closing the door and throwing a wink Felix’s way. The cat bristled.

“Give me your phone.”

“I’m not cheating, I swear.”

“We’re not- fuck you, give me your phone, Sylvain.”

The dog practically whimpered and handed over the phone. Felix had a Cheshire grin as he unlocked it. Typical Sylvain to not have a password despite all the dumb shit on the phone. You tapped your foot impatiently, anxious for Ashe who kept the two other people occupied.

“So, what are you planning?”

“I’ll go back with them, but I’ll keep this phone. I’ll- I’ll take those audio messages and send videos and shit when I can. I’ll just have to be careful.” This was the most Felix had ever talked to anyone. His voice was shaky, despite trying to desperately hide it.

“Absolutely not. Felix, you're not going with them! Who knows what they’ll do-“

“I think me dealing with their shit for a few weeks will be worth it if I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Your eyes widened and so did Felix’s. He flushed a bright red after realizing what he said. Sylvain cracked up.

“I- I mean, as an owner. You don’t do those things, that’s all. I just-“

“Nah, nah, it’s alright, you little smitten kitten~” Sylvain still smiled. “We catch your drift.”

Felix huffed. “There’s no drift to catch! Fucking drop it! Drop the drift!”

He stood up and yanked the door open, scaring the shit out of Ashe. You followed him quickly, grabbing onto his sleeve as Sylvain went back to Ashe’s side.

“You don’t have to do this, we can find another way.” You whispered. Felix could clearly see your absolute distress at letting him leave.

He held your gaze and let out a sigh. “I’ll be okay. You and Ashe just keep a lookout for my messages.”

With that, Felix tugged his arm out of your grasp and walked to Doug and Karen. He didn’t say anything, just looked down at the ground, his head lowered.

Submission.

That wasn’t the Felix you had come to know. Felix was loud and didn’t take shit from anyone. To see him suddenly reduced to something resembling a kicked puppy- the irony- was borderline heartbreaking.

You couldn’t help but tear up as the door closed. Sylvain whimpered. Ashe, who was silent and confused the whole time, whipped around to you.

“What the fuck is going on?” He seethed. “You didn’t even put up a fight-“

“Take a chill pill, Ashie.” Sylvain went behind Ashe and began to massage his shoulders. Ashe slapped his hands away. “We’ve got a plan.”

“A plan? Y/N, listen, you’re not Claude. You’re not Yuri. Your little plans never work the way they should.”

“Just give this one a chance!” You practically pleaded. “Felix has Sylvain’s phone. He’s gonna send updates and videos on what they’re doing. Hopefully they’ll be enough to convince the facility that Felix is better off with me.”

“Or not! If you don’t remember correctly, the lady fucking hated Felix. She’d probably do whatever she can to make sure he suffers.”

“Maybe the fact that we’re fighting to get him back will prove that we care more than the others-“

“-who literally came to your door and wanted him back. I’ve got no doubt they’ll fight too.” Ashe sighed. “This will only work if they really do something.”

At that moment, your phone pinged. The notification was from Sylvain’s phone. A video from Felix.

You opened the message and pressed okay, shushing Ashe and turning up the volume. Felix was in the backseat of the car while Doug and Karen sat up front. The angle was shitty and the phone was extremely shaky. Felix was trying to hide the phone from them.

“Felix Hugo, what the fuck were you thinking? Leaving like that? After all we’ve done for you?” Karen’s voice was shrill and loud, not even hiding her anger.

“After all you’ve done for me? You’ve done nothing-“

“Shut up! You’re ungrateful. We’ve fed you and housed you. You’re lucky someone even does that for a dumb cat like you. You’re practically feral- unlovable!”

The camera shook a little harder at that word.

Unlovable.

Your heart clenched, but there were still a few more seconds to the video.

“I can’t believe you thought a girl like that would even care about you. See how easily she let you go? She didn’t really want you. See, Felix Hugo? See how worked up you’ve gotten me?”

Doug’s voice cut in, silencing Karen’s annoying distress. “Just wait until we get home. We’ll deal with him there.”

You were probably shaking even more than Felix at this point. ‘Wait until we get home’... you didn’t even want to think of the implications of that.

The video was pure manipulation. But… to some, it may not be enough to make them question Felix’s safety.

Unfortunately.

You texted back, “Just a little more. In about two days, we’ll contact the facility and try to get them to hear us. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re trying your best. Just… try faster.”

“Miss you already.”

Seen.

Hanging your head, you looked up at the two boys. You shrugged and turned off your phone. A few more days, you said. Could you even handle that? You were already so used to his presence. To have an empty household again was something you didn’t want.

Even if it was full of Felix yelling… it was kind of endearing. He was always angry when Ashe and Sylvain were around. It makes sense why other people would be put off by his personality. But he was just…

Defensive.

Felix had walls up that were practically impenetrable. Could that excuse the rude, borderline abusive words he said to others? No. He could only apologize and do better from that. But he wouldn’t get better if he was with Doug and Karen.

You put your head in your hands and began tearing up. “I just want him safe. With me.”

Ashe and Sylvain exchanged glances.

“Yeah, you want him with you. To be with you. To… share your bed, in a literal sense, right?” Sylvain’s eyes held a sly glint in them. You raised an eyebrow.

“What are you on about now?”

“You and Felix. You want him to be with you. You want to be with him…”

“What?”

“Do you have feelings for him? You wanna fuck that cat?”

“Wh- I don’t want to fuck a cat! He’s… he’s more human than cat. Hybrids are just people that can turn into animals…”

Sylvain rolled his eyes. “Hybrids are people that can turn into animals, have ears and a tail, go into heats, all that shit. You don’t want to deal with an angry feline in a heat-“

“Is that why you’re neutered?”

“I’M NOT NEUTERED. FUCK YOU.”

You just sighed and checked your phone again. No check from Felix, even though it hasn't even been five minutes since the last message. You were just scared.

Ashe got up and began to cook dinner for you, deciding that you weren’t fit to do it tonight. You protested, but ultimately complied as Sylvain laid his head in your lap in hopes of an ear scratch.

That night, you tossed and turned. It was weird without a little cat body at the foot of your bed. You couldn’t help but think of worst case scenarios, spanning from just not being able to get Felix back to rather… unsavory ideas of what could be happening to him now. You finally settled down and forced your eyes shut, hoping that your dreams would be better than your thoughts.

They weren’t.

[flyswhumpcenter]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. Green deltas are for requested prompts.)

Choo choo, the Sickfic Express has just arrived in Galar, straight from Oreburgh City! 

First fic of 2020 is a sickfic oneshot. How rivetting. I've very recently beaten Pokémon Sword and loved it! I found myself really loving the characters, what they are and what they've already become in my mind, so I couldn't help myself but type what I know best... A sickfic. Also, this fandom needs more of this stuff, so here. I'm providing. Is this story OOC? Chances they are. Was it absolutely a blast to write? You bet. I'm probably gonna look back on it later down the lane and be uncomfortable with how I depicted the characters; but you do need to discover the characters first, and what better opportunity for that than a little sickfic with some angst and pre-rel dramatic tension? Anyway, I hope you'll like this lil' thing I busted out in literally a couple hours. I forgot how fun it was to write without worrying yourself over continuity or already established elements like in Earth Never Stops... Btw, this fic was originally requested to me as a FE3H fill for Hubert, so I decided I'd most likely use another square on my card for him. Sorry Nonnie for this, my inspiration got the best of me yet again! 

----------------

Candles in the Rain

Summary: Is feverishly staggering through the damp streets of Hammerlocke under the rain with very little hope to feel warmth again and even less sense of direction a fitting end for a former Champion now that he's been defeated once? Scratch that: he doesn't have the time or brain power remaining to process such a question. Or: Leon witnesses a miracle in the form of a little dog and a childhood friend.

Fandom: Pokémon Sword and Shield (post-canon/game: beware for spoilers) Relationships: Pre-relationship Leon/Sonia

Wordcount: 3.1K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​

AO3 version available here.

-------------

The streets of Hammerlocke are covered by a thick layer of rainwater, typical early winter in Galar. Nobody dares going against the terrible weather, which isn’t unlike the flooding that almost ate Kabu’s region of origin, or rather how he once described it based on bedtime stories, a couple thousand years ago. Honestly, after what Galar just went through, he can believe the tale to have been real all along, no issue there…

As always, he’s lost in the grand city of his main rival, and that frustrates him. He’s cold from the water having filled his shoes and wet his hair for hours and hours on end, not even the fire of the camp being able to make him feel warmer. If it wasn’t for his partners’ demands, urging him to stop camping in the wilderness and find a Centre already, he’d have surely stayed in the Wild Area and biked to a better spot. Ah, he misses Postwick, now. At least, he can’t get lost in Postwick, there’d be Hop and his now-Champion best friend, if not Sonia paying them all a visit, and there’d be the warmth of his childhood home… Gods, perhaps he does miss the peaceful life of a ten-year-old whose only contact to the Gym Challenge is dreams of grandeur.

Ah, if it didn’t rain so badly, Charizard could be warming the both of them as he tried to make his way to the nearest Centre.

 Despite his best efforts to remain proud and confident, he ends up having to lean against a wall to stop a coughing fit from suddenly urging itself out of there. He must look pathetic and he does wish, deep down, that someone would get out of their house for a reason or another, recognize him like literally everybody in Galar; but his pride and brand would be on the line, and nobody is fighting against the terrible, terrible weather today. He’s all alone in the streets of the city, pushing himself from the wall with wobbly arms, trying his hardest to remember where to go with slow, hazy thoughts…

Even if he was cold merely moments before, his head now burns. He feels too hot under clothes that are wildly unfitting of such a muddy season, despite the hair rising on what is exposed of his arms. A Cramorant stole his jacket when he was training, a Linoone tried to steal his stuff, and he ended up having a Pokemon knocked out and losing most of his healing items in the kerfuffle. It really hasn’t been his day, lately…

 His chest hurts. Not from the outside, as if he had injured himself in one of the falls he endured trying to feel from the Wild Area with no Pokemon to battle with and the slippery grass constantly trying to get the best of him, but from the inside. He doesn’t doubt the possible existence of bruises under the shirt that sticks to his limbs like a second, drenched skin; but this isn’t it. It intensifies when he coughs and it rattles strangely. When he tries to ignore the excruciating weather wishing for his demise, he hears the strange sounds his breathing now makes. He doesn’t know them so, in a moment of out-of-character lack of reason, he gets scared of them and vaguely wonders about worst-case scenarios.

It isn’t just his chest either. It’s his throat, it’s his mouth, it’s his feet, it’s his legs. Everything in his body is tired and screaming for rest, but he cannot provide it for any of his own self at the moment, stuck trying to navigate with what little he can distinguish with almost-closed eyes from how much he has to squint. His eyes can’t focus anymore, this much he realizes with a bitter sense of resignation, so everything he sees is blurry, including the weird gooey stuff he keeps coughing out whenever he can’t breathe anymore and has to stop for who knows how long.

 He trips over his own unmade shoe tie, losing in one fell swoop what was left of his balance, and falls right into the rainwater that has accumulated on the ground. It sounds and looks and feels like it’s the end, that this is where his journey ends: in some damp street of a city that he has never been able to find his way in, alone, cold and hot at the same time, rain burying him with the rest of the pavement. Not that he even thinks he has the energy to go on… Not like that. Not when his strength, the only thing he thought he had left, has all but given up on him too. Truly alone in a time where, sitting against a giant wall, he realizes what has been going on and poisoning his breath. Hah, ironic.

Still, this isn’t how he should admit defeat. He’s been won over now, and recently at that, and it’d be more than a shame for him to all but give up now. He needs to bring his team to the Centre, he can’t not try taking his revenge on the new Champion, he can’t not at least prove his superior battle skills to Raihan yet again, he just can’t leave Hop, and Sonia, and everyone else like that…

So he rises up once again, on weak arms and unsteady legs, almost tripping over himself, shoulder stuck against the wall. He won’t let this be the end of him.

 Even with a new resolve, it still doesn’t make it much better for him. Unless there’s a miracle happening right before him, he’s stuck with his heavily weakened state trying to find a place whose location he has no idea. His phone doesn’t seem to be able to show a map, its signal disturbed after whatever happened to it while he was looking or doing the polar opposite, so he’s stuck with his truly inefficient sense of orientation.

But it’ll be okay. It’ll have to be okay, because he needs to see Hop become a Professor, to buy Sonia’s new book, to rematch the Champion and his Leader friends, to give his team at least one more chance to shine. It’ll be okay, surely it’ll be okay, of course it’ll be okay… It’ll be okay, because this is all a terrible nightmare he’s going to wake up from, where he isn’t stuck in the torrential rain with a fainted party and very little hope of finding way out.

It’ll be okay, oh so okay…

 He tumbles and falls over again, this time hitting the ground with no grace whatsoever, most likely scratching elbows and knees in the process. Even rising his head up as not to cough in water when a fit claws at his throat again takes most of the energy he has left, only for his blurry sight and cottoned-down hearing to spot the first good thing in who knows many hours: a familiar yelp and vague brown-and-yellow figure rushing towards him.

With a trembling and feeble hand, he tries reaching out to the Yamper who has guided him so many times out of dangerous situations, only for an oh so familiar voice to yell in his direction. Still, it’s hard to know if it’s real or just his imagination. Ah, well; he’ll have to see when he’ll have woken up. If he even wakes up from the darkness starting to invade his vision…

  “Yamper, where in the world are you running like that?!” This creature never stops running, doesn’t it? “Yamper, wait for me!”

If she’s used to her trusty furry assistant running around everywhere it goes and pursuing it, Sonia has to notice there’s something odd in the air. Yamper never goes this fast, especially not in a city where it could smash muzzle first into people. There’s an urgent feeling to its yelps as it runs in one precise direction.

 As suddenly as Yamper started running when she had just gone out of the vault to investigate a little bit more into the Galar mythos she had become a specialist of, it stops right in its tracks in a little street she’s frankly never seen nor noticed before. With how much it’s raining and how unlikely it is to stop pouring soon, she doesn’t want the both of them out for much longer than needed.

She stops to regain her breath, hands on her knees as she folds in two, wet red hair hanging from her head. Yamper stays in place, running around her in circles, then disappearing from her view into the old, little street covered in rain and shadows. It doesn’t seem to have any intent on leaving soon.

 --------

“Why did you… bring me here…? Seriously, it’s raining Growlithes and Purrloins…!”

Still, Sonia gets herself together and goes on to follow her “assistant”. There’s dread building in her chest and stomach that she can hardly ignore… She’s seen enough movies as a teenager to know where this is going. She’s going to end up tangled into some messed-up situation, isn’t she…?

 Her heart skips a beat when she notices a very familiar person lying face down on the pavement, drenched to the bone. A person who hasn’t given her any response or sign of life for a few days.

Someone who’s gotten lost in Hammerlocke again.

 -------

 When he wakes up, everything feels different than the last time he’s been awake. It’s all white, dry and soft. He stills feels too hot and too cold, breathing remains a chore and he wishes he wasn’t there anyway; but he supposes he’s now safe and, honestly, he can’t think of anything much worse than treading through the torrential rain with little strength left.

Now, if he knew what the thing on his face was, he’d be doing a bit better, but his arms feel like they’re made out of lead and he lacks the energy to rise them to his mouth and at least touch it…

 “Leon?”

The voice, even if it’s muffled, is undoubtedly Sonia’s. He can’t quite put a finger on why exactly, yet he feels like this confirms something. If his chest didn’t feel so heavy and full, he’d have sighed in relief. That doesn’t prevent him from coughing again when trying to respond to his own name.

“Let me do the talking, okay? I’m sure you have a metric ton of questions to ask, but for the love of Galar, spare your voice unless necessary.”

 Now that his vision is focusing again, he notices both the pipe inserted in his wrist and the frown on her face. She seems less than content with something. What, he doesn’t quite know, and thinking hurts his head even further than it already bothers him, heavy on his neck despite resting on a pillow. Speaking of which, where is his stuff? His clothes?

“Hey, hey, hey,” Sonia rises from her chair and puts her hands on his chest, putting him back into his mattress. “You stay here and don’t cause anyone any worry more than you’ve already done!”

 He’s confused as to why she’s so adamant on him not doing anything. No speaking, no moving… If he didn’t feel this drained and lethargic, he’d absolutely get back at her with playfulness. Well, that does kind of answer his own question, doesn’t it? Or, at least, it seems to make sense to his brain which has troubles keeping up with the situation…

Yet, he sees a small smirk contrast with her frowned eyebrows. She seems… pained. Pained by what, or who, he doesn’t know; he’s most likely at least partially responsible for it, because she wouldn’t be there otherwise.

 “I don’t know how you’ve ended up in that situation exactly, Leon, but you’ve managed to surpass yourself in terms of putting yourself in harm’s way. You’ve scared us before, but not to that extent!”

“I…” His voice sounds hoarse and it absolutely feels that way. “It’s complicated…”

“Your entire party was fainted, safe for Charizard who was about to follow; you somehow bricked your phone in the process and ended up catching more than a death of cold. Where were you during all that time?!”

Sonia sounds a bit too scared for someone who’s facing her childhood friend stuck in a bed.

“The Wild Area…”

“That’d explain why you were soaked to the bone when I found you lying in a puddle… You’ll have to excuse me for using that crude language, you scared everyone on that one!”

 It’s his turn to ask a little question, even if the state of his body makes him want to remain quiet. Still, no matter how intelligent she is, Sonia doesn’t read minds, so he’s somewhat forced to go through with it if he wants his answers.

“Where are we?”

“A clinic in Hammerlocke. I forgot to add you also scared the ER staff with how bad your breathing was.” Has to be that irritating wheezing sound he’s hearing since he’s woken up. “By the way, since I know you’re going to ask me about that, your team is safe and doing much better now. They’re all gently resting in their balls while you recover.”

He misses Charizard and everyone else already. He owes them a big apology, that’s for sure, but he’s also certain his brain can’t process much right now. Sometimes, you just need to admit yourself to have been defeated… even if it bothers you to no end.

 Sonia paces around for a little bit before sitting down on the chair next to the bed, arms still crossed. She sounds more than frustrated, and, well… He can’t really hold it against her, can he? He already can barely hold anything against her to begin with, considering how much they’ve lived through together; it’s not today, in these circumstances, that he’ll try finding a reason for her not to be frustrated. Who knows how long he’s been gone without giving news: he frankly, forgot how quickly or slowly time was passing while he was wandering through the Wild Area.

“At least, you’re still here and breathing with us. Just, if you could not do that ever again, it’d be better, you know? I can’t always be there worrying after you when I’m now a Prof! Arceus, I don’t even imagine what sequence of events has thrown you into such a state. You looked absolutely pitiful when Yamper found you.”

 He tries to puff at himself to ease the tension he feels rising, but all he ends up doing is coughing. And coughing. And coughing.

“What did I say about sparing your voice? Tch, you’ll never change, will you? You’ve always stubborn, after all, so there’s no reason that’ll change now. That’s part of your charm, I suppose.” She shrugs before suddenly darting her eyes away from him. “But you’re right, I shouldn’t have to worry! You were the Champion of Galar for more than ten years, why would I be afraid of you? That makes very little sense, haha!”

“S-Sonia…”

 He only now spots the dark rings under her eyes and the hair pulling out of her ponytail, one strand at a time. How long was he out for, and for how much of that time was she there, exactly? (Hey, he does work fairly well, for someone who can’t stop sweating and whose entire frame is shaken up by chills at irregular intervals!). Too many questions, too little available brain space, he guesses…

“Go for it, make fun of your good old friend who still hasn’t gotten the memo. I should have been like Hop and blindly believed you’d come back to us, as you’ve always done…”

Oh, right, Hop! How is he doing, has he advanced in his research, does he still worry for him? Well, sadly, it’s not the time to think about his brother: his childhood friend seems to have a meltdown right in front of him.

“Why?”

 Sonia stares at him, completely silent, eyes wide. Seems like she doesn’t have an answer to her own interrogation, until pain comes back on her face like the wave crashing on the shore.

“You don’t… think it’s ridiculous?”

“What?” His throat doesn’t take kindly to his attempts at having a conversation.

“Everything! We swore we’d trust each other, but look at me, worrying over you as if we were still kids running in the fields with the Wooloos… And I’m telling you all that while you’re cooking on the inside! Really, isn’t that ridiculous?”

 Gathering his breath and his strength, he rises up with shaky arms against the bedhead, pillow still preventing his head from entirely lulling over his shoulder from how heavy it is. Whatever he’s caught, it’s one hell of an affliction he’s found himself with. Still, if it’s for Sonia, if she’s this distraught over the situation (he did almost pass away), he can put up with the migraine, the difficult breathing, the mask over his mouth, the lethargy, the chills…

“I’m sorry, Sonia.”

He does cough immediately after apologizing, as expected. For once, she doesn’t reply immediately, doesn’t make a witty remark; instead, she looks confused and maybe embarrassed, considering the red he can see with the eyes that still refuse to entirely focus for more than a few seconds.

“Sorry for what? And, again, spare your voice, you…”

“For all of this.”

 Her expression softens, eyebrows drooping and eyes shining brighter. Even if it’s slight and his eyes almost miss it, she finally smiles.

“How long…?” He’s interrupted by a fit.

“How long you’ve been out?” He nods, still trying to calm his chest down. “Around half a day. You did wake up at some point but immediately passed out again. No wonder why you don’t remember that.”

He now points at her with an unsteady finger. “Why are you… Oh, how long I’ve been here?” He nods again. “Most of that time, I’d say. I’d also say I fell asleep at some point too…”

 She crosses her arms again, just as his vision starts weakening again. It’s back to sleep, right?

“I think we both need our rest. I’m also certain Hop is waiting at the door, so you’ll even have a guardian angel watching over you, isn’t that super cool? And if you attempt rising from that bed, you’re sure to be put back into it in mere seconds!”

He’d try laughing if it didn’t trigger such a massive reaction from his lungs, so he decides to just nod instead.

“See you later, Leon. Goodnight.”

He waves at her, the lethargy still reflecting in his slow and sloppy gestures, but that’s fine enough for now. Her smile is worth it, isn’t it?

 Absolutely worth trekking through the rain with full lungs and little energy left…