#did i just copy my intro from before?

[navybrat817]

The Dad Diaries: Welcome Home

Pairing: Dad!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Bucky reflects on the first night with his son home and puts his thoughts to paper.

Word Count: Over 1.2k

Warnings: Fluff, reflecting, first time dad, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning and a dad, okay?).

A/N: Welcome to The Dad Diaries! This AU will focus on Bucky and his relationship with his son (and you!) ❤️ Thanks to the beautiful @whisperlullaby for giving this intro a look and assuring me it wasn't garbage, but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky stared intently at the open blank journal that sat in the middle of his office desk. He had picked up the pen a few minutes ago, but hadn’t written a single word. Why did he feel stuck? Better yet, what was he thinking by doing this? Reading often came easy to him, but writing? That was something else entirely.

It was also something he wanted to do.

He ran a hand over his face with a sigh and wondered if he should call it a night, crawl into bed with you, and try tomorrow. No, he didn’t want to push it off before he even began. Glancing at the monitor, he heard your voice in his head, a memory of something you told him in the early stages of dating:

The best writing comes from the heart. Write what you and your heart love because no one knows that story better than you.

Bucky had plenty of stories to tell. How he became a hero and a good man after years of pain and darkness. Or how he fell in love with you and became your husband.

And his newest adventure of becoming a father.

He wasn’t sure how to be a dad yet, but he knew he loved his son. That was more than enough to start. And with a smile tugging at his lips, he put the pen to paper.

Hey, Nugget,

My name is James Buchanan Barnes. Most people call me Bucky. Your mom calls me her husband and I’m the luckiest man in the world for that, especially since she gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for: you.

Your name is James, too. Your mom doesn't know if we’ll call you Jamie or JJ, but I have a feeling you'll hear a bit of both. And one day, I’ll get to hear you call me Dad. Or Dada or Daddy or Papa.

Whatever makes you happy.

He paused in his writing when he thought he heard something on the monitor. His eyes flickered to the screen again and he breathed a little easier when he saw that his baby was still sleeping soundly in the middle of the crib. It wouldn’t stop him from checking on him later, just to be on the safe side.

I’m so glad you’re home. In fact, tonight is your first night in the nursery. I hope you like it here. To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson: “A house is made with walls and beams: a home is built with love and dreams.”

Yeah, your old man likes to read. Maybe you will, too. I even have an original copy of The Hobbit and would love to give it to you when you're older.

Books lined the far wall of Bucky’s office, many of them worn from the amount of times he read them. He made sure Jamie’s room had a reading nook, too. It was one of the only things he asked for when the two of you designed the nursery.

I hope you get enough sleep tonight. Your mom, too. You both did great at the hospital and deserve all the rest you can get.

Would you believe me if I said I was a nervous wreck when I brought your mom in, but tried not to let it show? People call me strong, but I don’t think I ever witnessed true strength until I saw how steady of a rock she was. She blew me away, which didn't surprise me. She amazes me every day.

Hearing your first cry stopped my heart and brought tears of joy to my eyes. After nine months of waiting and talking to your mom’s stomach, you were finally here. And seeing her hold you made me fall in love all over again.

Sorry if that sounds sappy, but it’s true. She looked right at me with happy tears in her eyes and said, “Bucky, look! Look at what we made! It's our little Nugget!” and my heart swelled. She insisted on calling you that and it rubbed off on me. Believe me when I say that you are the luckiest baby in the world to have the mother that you do.

He stopped writing again to glance at his wedding band, smiling all over again. He thought your love filled his heart before, but it overflowed now. It warmed him like nothing else ever could.

You’re probably wondering why I’m writing this since a lot of time will pass by the time you read this. Sometimes I may write to remember things I’m afraid I’ll forget. Other days I’ll write to reflect and get the words out when my mind is too loud. But my hope is that this will be a gift to you.

A bond for the two of us.

As you grow, I’ll fill the pages with the memories of you and our family. I’ll tell you about my past and how it shaped me into the man I am today. How your mom and I met and how I somehow convinced her to fall in love with me. And I’ll be sure to tell you about the day she told me we were going to have you and how that news changed my life for the better.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before he continued.

I also plan to fill this with your milestones. Like your first smile. Is it selfish if I hope to see it first? If not me, your mom. She’d love that. Your first step. Being selfish again, but I hope it’s me you walk toward so I can pick you up and tell you how proud I am. And your first word. I hope it’s Mama.

Though I won’t object if you say Dada.

Bucky chuckled as he imagined the look of betrayal on your beautiful face if your son said “Dada” first instead of “Mama”.

I’m sure some days I’ll have more to say than others. If I’m lucky, I can pass on life lessons and words of wisdom. Some days though I may not say the right thing and I know I’ll stumble along the way as I figure out how to be the best dad to you. I say “best” and not “perfect” because perfection doesn’t exist. Except for you and your mom.

The beauty of it is that I don’t have to go it alone. I’ll have your mom by my side to help guide and protect you and to watch you flourish. And my hope is that you know as you look through the pages how much we love you.

Even on days I may not get it right, I’m your dad, you’re my son, and you’ll always have a home with me and a place in my heart.

I’ll write more when I can, Nugget. Until then, I love you.

Always,

Dad

Bucky set the pen down as he exhaled. It wasn't perfect, but it didn't have to be. It was a start. As long as he put his heart into his words, it would shine from the pages.

And he couldn't wait for all the adventures he’d have with his little Nugget.

I hope you lovelies are excited to take this journey with Bucky. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[iinsertblognamee]

'Intro'

[STUDIO; WHITE BACKGROUND, YN & CAITLIN SITTING BEHIND A TABLE WITH TWO DUFFLE BAGS IN FRONT OF THEM - YN LEANING BACK, LAUGHING - CAITLIN LEANING ONTO YN LAUGHING]

YN FOORD (LAUGHING); Give me that! (PULLING OUT A SIGNED 'CAITLIN FOORD, NUMBER NINE' MATILDAS JERSEY OUT OF CAITLIN'S DUFFLE BAG) Oh my God. (SHOWING THE CAMERA, BEFORE THROWING IT BACK AT CAITLIN) Put it on.

CAITLIN FOORD (LAUGHING, TAKING THE JERSEY OFF YN); I don't know who put this in my bag because-

YN FOORD; -You did! Bloody love ya self don't ya.

(CAITLIN LAUGHING, AS SHE SHAKES HER HEAD AND HER RIGHT HAND)

YN FOORD (LOOKS DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA); Can you believe what I have to put up with (POINTING AT CAITLIN, SHAKING HER HEAD) Bloody ridiculous.

[SCREEN, YN AND CAITLIN FOORD, SITTING BEHIND A TABLE WITH TWO DUFFLE BAGS IN FRONT OF THEM AND LOOKING AT THE CAMERA]

YN FOORD; Hello, I'm Yn Foord (LOOKS RIGHT, AT CAITLIN)

CAITLIN FOORD; I'm Caitlin Foord

YN FOORD & CAITLIN FOORD; And this is our kit bag.

(TURNING TO EACH OTHER, CLAPPING EACH OTHERS HAND)

YN FOORD; Look at us go!

CAITLIN FOORD; Absolute animals.

'Shoes'

[SCREEN, PLAYING CLIPS OF YN AND CAITLIN FOORD AT CAMP FOR THE MATILDAS - SCREEN, YN PULLING OUT SHOES FROM HER DUFFLE BAG]

YN FOORD; Shoes.

[CAITLIN PULLS SHOES OUT OF HER DUFFLE BAG]

CAITLIN FOORD; Shoes.

YN FOORD; Love me some great shoes.

CAITLIN FOORD; Oh yeah. Definitely.

YN FOORD (NODDING TOWARDS CAITLIN'S SHOES IN HER HAND); I see you've copied me with the white shoes.

CAITLIN FOORD; I- (LAUGHING) What? God, you're annoying.

YN FOORD (RAISING HER EYEBROWS, SHRUGGING HER SHOULDERS); I'm telling mum you said that.

(CAITLIN FOORD LOOKING AT THE SCREEN WITH HER MOUTH OPEN, 'SHOCKED')

YN FOORD; ANYWAY. Moving on. Shoes, can't really go wrong I guess. I have about five pairs that I just rotate, (LOOKING AT CAITLIN) How many pairs of shoes would you say you have Miss Foord?

CAITLIN FOORD; Um. I don't really know if I wanna say that out loud. Too many. Too many to remember.

YN FOORD; Come on. We all know you know how many you have.

(CAITLIN SHAKING HER HEAD)

YN FOORD (HER HANDS HITTING THE TABLE IN A RYTHME); Tell us. Tell us. Tell us.

CAITLIN FOORD; Ugh! Fine. Like thirty? Forty? I don't know.

(YN LOOKING AT CAITLIN WITH WIDE EYES AND HER MOUTH OEPN, BEFORE SLOWLY TURNING TOWARDS THE CAMERA)

YN FOORD; Forty pairs of shoes?! What on earth do you need forty pairs of shoes for? (CAITLIN OPENS HER MOUTH TO TALK BUT YN CUTS HER OFF) -Nah, nah. I actually can't believe that. That's wild man. Absolutely wild.

'Headphones'

[SCREEN, CAITLIN PULLING OUT HEADPHONES FROM HER DUFFLE BAG]

CAITLIN FOORD; Headphones.

(YN FOORD PULLING HEADPHONES FROM HER DUFFLE BAG)

YN FOORD (SINGING); Headphones!

CAITLIN FOORD (LOOKING AT YN'S HEADPHONES); Yours are so dirty.

YN FOORD (LOOKING OFFENDED); You're dirty. Shut up.

CAITLIN FOORD; Real mature. And you're meant to be the older one out of the two of us?

YN FOORD (MIMICKING); And you're meant to be the older one. Shut up. No one likes you.

CAITLIN FOORD (CAITLIN LAUGHING BEFORE TURNING HER ATTENTION BACK TO THE SCREEN); Headphones. A definite must on camp (SHOWING THE SCREEN, AND THAN YN HER HEADPHONES) I thought I bought noise-cancelling ones, but I didn't so. Guess that's that.

YN FOORD (MUTTERING UNDER HER BREATH); Ha. Loser. (MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH CAITLIN, BEFORE BOTH BURST INTO LAUGHTER)

(OFF SCREEN) UNKNOWN VOICE; What kind of music is normally played in camps?

YN FOORD (LOOKING AT CAITLIN, BEFORE LOOKING PAST THE CAMERA); Um, kinda depends on who has the speaker.

CAITLIN FOORD; Yeah. I feel like we mostly all have the same kind of music, but sometimes when we lose Lydia will put on like 'saddest songs mix' and we all just kinda sit in the bus staring at the window contemplating all our live choices.

YN FOORD (LAUGHING); Oh god. Bloody Lydia and her sad songs. We'll be like turn it off and she just turns the volume up louder. (YN MIMICKING LYDIA TURNING THE SPEAKER VOLUME UP, PRETENDING TO LOOK OUT A WINDOW WITH A SORROW LOOK ON HER FACE) And we're all just sitting there watching her in her feels.

CAITLIN FOORD; In her feels?

YN FOORD (SHRUGGING HER SHOULDERS); Yeah I don't know Kyra taught me that.

CAITLIN FOORD; Of course she did.

(OFF SCREEN) UNKNOWN VOICE; What's the fan favourite song currently?

YN FOORD; Ooo. Good question. Um, Strawberry Kisses has been making its way up the ranks lately. Steph loves loves loves that song.

CAITLIN FOORD; You know she never plays it at arsenal

YN FOORD (LAUGHING); It's only allowed at the matildas. Nowhere else.

'Caitlin's Secret Item'

[SCREEN, YN LOOKING INTO CAITLIN'S DUFFLE BAG - YN LEANING BACK, LAUGHING - CAITLIN LEANING ONTO YN LAUGHING]

YN FOORD (LAUGHING); Give me that! (PULLING OUT A SIGNED 'CAITLIN FOORD, NUMBER NINE' MATILDAS JERSEY OUT OF CAITLIN'S DUFFLE BAG) Oh my God. (SHOWING THE CAMERA, BEFORE THROWING IT BACK AT CAITLIN) Put it on.

CAITLIN FOORD (LAUGHING, TAKING THE JERSEY OFF YN); I don't know who put this in my bag because-

YN FOORD; -You did! Bloody love ya self don't ya.

(CAITLIN LAUGHING, AS SHE SHAKES HER HEAD AND HER RIGHT HAND)

YN FOORD (LOOKS DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA); Can you believe what I have to put up with (POINTING AT CAITLIN, SHAKING HER HEAD) Bloody ridiculous.

(CAITLIN PUTS THE JERSEY ON, PUFFING HER CHEST WHILST LOOKING AT THE CAMERA WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE)

YN FOORD (LAUGHING, PUSHING CAITLIN'S ARM); Oh my god. She loves herself.

CAITLIN FOORD (SMOOTHING HER JERSEY); This one is actually for my mum. I know how much she likes to wear jerseys of good football players.

YN FOORD (CHOKING); Excuse you. Mum won't have time to wear that junk when she's too busy wearing MY jersey.

CAITLIN FOORD: You're dreaming mate. No chance.

YN FOORD: Oh yeah. You wanna know how confident I am that she'll wear my jersey.

CAITLIN FOORD; Tell us then. How confident are you?

YN FOORD (PULLING OUT HER PHONE FROM HER POCKET, THE DIAL TONE STARTING TO RING). Imma call her.

(PHONE RINGS FOR THREE DIALS BEFORE PICKING UP)

SIMONE FOORD (THROUGH THE PHONE); Hello Lovie?

YN FOORD (SMILING); Hi mum, how you going?

SIMONE FOORD; Nothing much, can't complain. How'd the media day go with Cait?

CAITLIN FOORD; We're in the middle of one now, hi mum!

SIMONE FOORD; Hi sweetheart, how are yo- (YN FOORD CUTTING HER OFF)

YN FOORD; -yeah mum, she's fine. Question. At the World Cup who's jersey are you going to wear? Mine or adopted over here?

SIMONE FOORD; My Alanna Kennedy jersey just arrived in the mail this morning. I tried to get one for Mackenzie but they don't sell hers. How ridiculous.

YN & CAITLIN FOORD (WHINING); Mum!

SIMONE FOORD; Anyway I'll leave you two girls to it. Love you both lots and lots. Be nice to each other. Bye! (PHONE CLICKS OFF)

'Boots'

[SCREEN, YN LOOKING AT CAITLIN PULL OUT HER BOOTS FROM HER DUFFLE BAG]

CAITLIN FOORD; Boots.

YN FOORD; Yeah, we got some new boots for the World Cup. Very exciting. (LOOKING AT CAITLIN'S BOOTS, BEFORE PICKING ONE UP) I like yours, they're really nice.

CAITLIN FOORD; Thank you.

YN FOORD (LAUGHING, SHAKING HER HEAD); Thank you? Bloody hell. You are such a dork sometimes, you know that right?

CAITLIN FOORD; Um. (BOTH GIRLS BREAKING INTO LAUGHTER AGAIN)

'Notebook'

[SCREEN, YN PULLING A NOTEBOOK OUT OF HER DUFFLE BAG]

CAITLIN FOORD (SPEAKING AT THE SAME TIME AS YN); Oop. Look at you, you nerd. YN FOORD (SPEAKING AT THE SAME TIME AS CAITLIN); This is my notebook for learning Spanish.

YN FOORD (LAUGHING WITH CAITLIN, SHAKING HER HEAD); Shut up. (CAITLIN PICKING THE NOTEBOOK OUT OF YN'S HANDS). But yeah, that's my notebook that I used to learn Spanish because I'm supposed to be able to speak it.

CAITLIN FOORD (FLIPPING THROUGH THE NOTEBOOK, SHOWING YN A PAGE, AS THEY BOTH LAUGH); Didn't realise it was art class too?

YN FOORD; Yeah, sometimes I get bored, (LAUGHING) so I just kinda draw instead. It's really bad, actually. I should probably stop doing that so much.

CAITLIN FOORD (TRYING TO READ ONE OF THE PAGES); Hola, my. my. (LOOKS AT YN, BOTH LAUGHING) mi nombre es Caitlin?

YN FOORD; Good! (CLAPPING HER HANDS) Hola, mi nombre es Yn. es muy bonito conocerte. 'Hello, my name is YN. it's very nice to meet you'.

CAITLIN FOORD; Hola, mi nombre es Caitlin. (BEAMING AT THE CAMERA ONCE SHE FINISHES)

YN FOORD; There you go! Maybe I can teach you some Spanish during the World Cup.

'Goodbyes!'

[SCREEN, YN AND CAITLIN FOORD, SITTING BEHIND A TABLE WITH TWO DUFFLE BAGS IN FRONT OF THEM AND LOOKING AT THE CAMERA]

YN FOORD; Well there you have it, that's our World Cup kit bag essentials. (YN FOORD GRABBING THE DISCARDED 'CAITLIN FOORD JERSEY' AND THROWING IT AT CAITLIN) Some of us packing absolutely rubbish, but hey. It's a no-judgment zone down under so.

CAITLIN FOORD (SNORTING); no-judgement my ass.

YN FOORD; and with that, it's time to say goodbye! (WAVING AT THE CAMERA) Bye!

CAITLIN FOORD; Bye! (TURNING TO YN, SLAPPING HER ARM) um. oh. adiós! 'goodbye'.

YN FOORD (LOOKING OVER, SMILE ON HER FACE); Hey! Look at you go. (LOOKING BACK AT THE CAMERA WAVING, CAITLIN JOINING IN) adiós! 'goodbye'.

inspired by; lucy bronze & jordan nobbs reveal their world cup kit bag essentials

[schoenpepper]

Teeth (5 Seconds of Summer)

Intro: It's nothing but a modern rendition of Romeo and Juliet to you. But Jade will twist the narrative into Bonnie and Clyde, if it means he'll get his hands on the one he loves.

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread it's too long for me to give a fuck, blood, gore-ish, death (minor charac), bad bad things, criminals, Jade and Floyd are warnings of their own, implied shmexy times, 100% inaccurate interpol description but it was that or the Red Room from marvels idk maybe the kingsman, the fish mafia are verrrrry bad people here ok, but reader doesnt care, betrayal

A/N: Did I fall in love with Jade halfway into writing this? Of course not. I fell in love with Jade a whileeeee ago. Anyway, this is the first installment of my Twisted Harmonies series, a bunch of songfics with different characters and plots and universes.

Masterlist

Some days you're the only thing I know

Only thing that's burning when the nights grow cold

Can't look away, can't look away

Beg you to stay, beg you to stay, yeah

Aren't you just a darling little thing?

Jade isn't Azul's right hand man for nothing; he sees through your facade all too easily. A little too naive for the sexy outfit you're wearing and a little too innocent for the foxy persona you've put up. The police force had sent lots of undercover agents before. Unfortunately for them, none had been as interesting as you.

He watches you stumble onto the seat next to him. You order a drink and meet his eyes, giving him a charming smile.

Ah.

He understands now.

You weren't sent as a mistake. You were sent because even your superiors saw an overflowing charisma that you yourself didn't seem to notice. They were likely betting on him being drawn to you (and you having better acting skills). They've underestimated him again.

Jade thinks he's too far gone to be a gentleman now, but he chuckles and offers to pay for your pina colada. You accept with a glint in your pretty eyes, and he congratulates himself for picking up a cute little plaything for the next few months. He hears out the alias you have and listens to your cover story with a close-lipped smile. When he leads the conversation to other places, he takes note of when you perk up and start shaking off the person you were forced to be in order to get closer to him. "You like that movie too? That's awesome! I thought I was the only person who knew what it was."

"It's definitely one of my favorite films, but it's not too popular, hm?"

"Right." You pout and huff so adorably, he might just take you where you're sat. He doesn't think you're supposed to like the things you're saying you like, but he enjoys seeing you mess up, if nothing else. "You know," Jade takes a sip of his martini, "I have a copy of it on DVD, if you'd like to come to my place and watch it. Maybe stay for the night...maybe have breakfast in the morning...?" He sees you light up and you seem to finally remember your mission, pushing down the bubbly and energetic rookie and projecting out an image of this mature and seductive force of nature.

It's just too funny.

He drives you to his small villa at the edge of town and he pops the CD into the DVD player. He wasn't lying when he said he liked the movie, and he enjoys hearing your commentary on it because it brings him new insights about the plot as well as you. After the movie, he takes you to his bedroom (like a gentleman 💙) and even cooks you breakfast in the morning. Muffins and scrambled eggs and turkey bacon. A part of his attention is on you as you eat breakfast blearily, but most of it is in the file he has on hand while drinking his morning coffee.

[Name: Y/N L/N]

[Status: Recent graduate of the X police academy, honor student]

[Threat level: Unknown]

Jade picks up his pen, looks on as you burn your tongue on your coffee, and jots down a note.

[Threat level: Unknown (near zero, requires further investigation)]

Sometimes you're a stranger in my bed

Don't know if you love me, or you want me dead

Push me away, push me away

Then beg me to stay, beg me to stay, yeah

The second time you meet up with your target is on a "date". You'd spent hours in front of the mirror just to look your most "seductive", yet Jade barely even bats an eye. He picks you up from the apartment you were assigned in his swanky, expensive, customized Rolls Royce and drives you both to this upscale 3 Michelin star restaurant in the middle of the city. You feel slightly uncomfortable because of all the haughty uppity-ness of the people in the other tables, but Jade's gloved hand is placed on the small of your back as he walks with you to the table he'd reserved. "Sorry, I'm not too used to places like these." You smile awkwardly at Jade.

And berate yourself internally because you're supposed to be mature and experienced and whatever.

"Nonsense dear, we're not here to keep up appearances." Thankfully, he's always a very nice person (if you ignore him being one of the leaders of possibly the biggest organized crime group in the world). He even pulls your chair out for you and everything. "I just wish for you to have an enjoyable time. Now tell me about the types of dishes you like, and perhaps any allergies?"

"Oh, I don't have any allergies. But I like chicken, and mushrooms!" You grin at him happily.

He pauses at your words, which makes you think that maybe you said something wrong, causing you to bow your head and stare at the French squiggles you just can't understand on the menu you're holding.

"I like mushrooms too."

The smile he gives you is all too blinding. You've always known he was rather pretty, but seeing him smile like this makes you aware of his insane face card. Him liking mushrooms wasn't on the file (even the international police force doesn't have much on the Leech brothers' files, much less Ashengrotto's), but you're glad you have something else to talk to him about. 

"I even grow them myself."

Your jaw drops and you have to stop yourself from barreling over the table and onto him as words just start pouring out of your mouth. "Seriously? That's so cool! Where do you grow them? Did you learn by yourself? Can you teach me? Do you think I can grow some too? Oh, wait!" You clear your throat and lean back on your chair. You're blowing your cover again, you just know it. "I mean, that sounds cool. Apologies for rambling."

Jade laughs and waves you off.

"No, I like that you're so passionate. You've been to my home before, perhaps you'd enjoy going back after dinner? I'll show you my terrariums."

"Awesome!"

You'll remember to keep up your disguise later.

Your waiter comes by with recommendations and wine, and your date is too sweet with how he constantly asks for your opinion. When you show any form of hesitance, he easily helps you out whether it be with ordering your entree or asking for another plate. Conversation flows too naturally with the teal-haired man and dinner leads to checking his terrariums, to staying up too late drinking sips of his stash of red wine while he helps you make a terrarium of your own, to passing out on his bed next to him.

When you wake up the next day, you realize you forgot to probe for information.

Oh well.

You can always see Jade next time.

Call me in the morning to apologize

Every little lie gives me butterflies

Something in the way you're looking through my eyes

Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

Everyday, you get more and more delectable.

"Whatcha' watchin', Jade?" Floyd leans over his shoulder to peer at the monitor in front of him. On the screen is you, oh lovely, beautiful, adorable you, in a skin tight suit made of a fabric that clings to your every curve so wonderfully. You do a turn to evade your opponent and land a kick on their abdomen. "Eh? Who's this spiky little pufferfish? New toy o' yours?"

"Not a toy." Even Jade is surprised by the words that leave his lips, but it curls into a sickeningly sweet smile as he continues. "They're cute, aren't they? Feisty."

You send the other person to the edge of the ring with a punch.

"What, so you'll keep 'em?"

When your opponent rushes back to you, you do a series of beautiful and swift movements to bring them down on their knees. Admittedly, the smallest part of him is rather jealous by the way you step on the person's chest to keep them down.

"Absolutely. They'll make a cute pet~"

"Hah, you're so weird." Floyd rolls his eyes and stands back up properly. "The Interpol'll notice your cameras soon, y'know they're not that stupid to keep their own training grounds unchecked."

"That's why I'm recording, of course."

"Freak."

"You wound me, truly."

For what he'd said about keeping you as a pet, he gets annoyingly ticked off at the sight of you helping up your comrade slash sparring partner. The way you laugh so unrestrainedly and smile so freely, in ways you refuse to do in front of him—your mission target—made him narrow his eyes and memorize the face of that friend of yours. Perhaps the frustration bubbling in his chest was only because his pet was rather uncooperative at the moment, still stubbornly holding onto the shredded pieces of your shoddy disguise. With that, he has no chance of seeing your many facets in the way you'd present them to a friend, to someone closer; because he dislikes that alias very much.

(He'll pull the Y/N L/N out of you sooner than later.)

"Whatever, just make sure to clean up or Azul's gonna be pissed."

"Of course."

He watches your figure leave the training ground and the camera's range.

Jade is a capable man who enjoys games.

And what game would be more fun than turning a police dog against its owners?

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

"And, open your eyes!"

You fidget with your hands nervously, trying to hide your anxiousness with a proud grin. You glance at the spread you'd poured your time and effort into; a typical red plaid blanket splayed out over the grass under the shade of a large tree, a wicker basket with its contents already laid out on the blanket. Finger sandwiches and little jars of pasta and lemon iced tea and tiny cake slices in glass tupperwares. You look back at Jade who you'd asked to dress more casually today for your (you can't really count anymore at this point) date, wondering if he dislikes your little surprise.

"Um, I know it seems sudden, but I made it all myself." You blush and kneel down on the blanket to grab the utensils. "Because, the button mushrooms you helped me grow, they grew really nice and big so I chopped them up and put them into a bolognese, so I thought maybe you'd like to try my cooking!" You feel so embarrassed because why is Jade still so quiet holy shit, though the shame fades when he tugs you into his arms.

"Jade...?"

"Apologies." He pulls away slightly to kiss your forehead. "I am very touched by the thought. I appreciate your effort, my dear, and I look forward to tasting your cooking."

You chuckle and kiss his cheek.

It had felt like a chore the first few weeks, but touching him, kissing him, loving him is starting to feel good. Natural. Right.

It's not. But it feels right.

"You better, I was up from four a.m., you know?" You let out a grumble when he hums so happily, swaying you in his arms. "So next date, you owe me your cooking too."

"Of course, my dear."

"With no poisonous mushrooms?"

"I don't recall agreeing to that condition."

It's so peaceful when he gives you his commentary on your dishes and gives you advice regarding the iced tea you'd made, and there's such a lovely calmness when you take a nap with him after eating, curled up into each other under the shade, your head on his chest and his legs around your own. Everything else fades away when he helps you pack up your jars and tupperwares into your wicker basket and drives you home.

He brings your hand up to his lips and kisses your knuckles with a close-eyed smile.

"Goodbye, my dear. Think of me always."

You close the door in his face so he doesn't see the blush on yours.

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

There's filth in the room, he can feel it with every pair of eyes that is shamelessly drinking in the sight of you. A polite curve to the lips, arm wrapped securely around you, he walks into the gala with the feeling of his favorite handgun digging into his thigh. He expects the night to go flawlessly; Azul would never throw an event that would end up in shambles, and your little organization is far too wary of this party being a trap to actually make a move. It doesn't change the bitter taste lingering in the back of his throat when these greasy middle-aged folks that Azul coined as "business partners" stared at you with their tongues lolling out like mutts sniffing a new treat.

Say, would his boss mind if he committed a little bit of homicide?

"Jade?"

Ah, but you look so sweet, looking up at him nervously. You must recognize the ugly faces, yes? Each and every one in the interconnected web of hell that Azul ruled over. "Don't worry darling, they're all friendly." Jade smiles, a genuine one, sweeping a glance over the crowd. "I'll make sure of it for you."

You seem comforted enough by his words, yet you still slink away into his side.

(Don't you know he's one of the most dangerous people here?)

"Azul, Floyd, this is my darling." He feels you freeze up when he introduces you to his brother and friend boss. His fingers run up and down your back in a soothing motion as he watches gears turn in the two's heads. "My love, this is Azul Ashengrotto. He's my superior of sorts. And this is Floyd, my twin brother."

The word 'love' has their eyes widen for just a split second.

Azul reaches out a hand to shake yours. "My, it's a pleasure to meet you. Jade has told us a lot about you." You smile nervously and shake his hand. Before his brother can full on tackle you and likely interrogate you about your relationship status, Jade gently pushes you off to the crowd with a nasty glare behind your back towards the piranhas circling.

"Do socialize for a bit, dear. I have a few things I need to talk about with them." He doesn't mention the bodyguards he'd gestured to keep an eye on you.

"So," Azul crosses his arms, "love, hm?"

Jade lets the polite smile fade from his face as he looks at them, one gloved hand on his chest. "Is there a problem, gentlemen?"

"You said pet!" Floyd huffs, shaking Jade by the arms. "No fair! What's with the secrets, Jaaaaade? You were supposed to tell me everything! When did you get a partner?"

"I wasn't lying, I just started seeing them differently." He consoles his brother with a chuckle.

"And how are you planning to keep it up?"

"Pardon?"

"Yeah, that person's a noobie undercover, right? Ya' can't hold on to some lousy loyal cop." Floyd rolls his eyes. "Don't be silly Jade, that loyalty's no good if it ain't yours."

"I'm sure he's already thought of that."

"But he doesn't seem prepared to let 'em go, though? A pet's fine, but if it's somethin' else, it'll be trouble."

Jade smiles again. "Not a pet anymore, no, but it's not that hard to train a lover either, is it?"

"What, you truly think that cop will fall for you enough that they'll throw away their principles and ideals for you?" Azul scoffs. "Without torture?"

"You think they won't?"

Azul and Floyd share a look then shrug in unison.

"I don't think there's a lot you can't do, to be honest."

"I don't care, long as you get those annoying do-gooders outta my face, capiche?"

Some days you're the best thing in my life

Sometimes when I look at you, I see my wife

Then you turn into somebody I don't know

And you push me away, push me away, yeah

It's boring.

God, it's so boring.

If you had known you would be subjecting yourself to petty small talk and the lecherous eyes of sleazy men twice, maybe three times your age, you would've clung on harder to Jade and forced yourself into whatever conversation he'd needed to have with Azul and Floyd. But then again, you don't think you have enough calm to face the Azul Ashengrotto without shaking in your boots (he's rich and evil and super duper powerful!). Floyd you can sort of handle, you do well with violence. Jade you slept with the night you met, so there wasn't all too much about him that still made you nervous. But Azul, that man's smart. You can't deal with wits like that—wits that gave him claws to dig his way out of whatever hellhole he was born in and right to the top of the food chain. He'll blow your cover all too easy.

You shift your champagne to the other hand and nod at your conversation partner.

No you don't get what he's bragging about, and you really don't care. This place is filled to the brim with the very wretches of society, faces you know from the red files you kept at headquarters. They parade around in human skins and even now, not a single person has said anything that even remotely implied ill-gotten wealth or human trafficking or whatever, so you know they're really good at keeping up face.

This one, he's getting a little too handsy.

"I can show you a good time."

You raise your hand to smash the champagne flute into his ugly face (Jade would definitely cover for you).

When did you get so confident?

Two big and bulky men in suits appear out of nowhere—they might be the asshole's bodyguards—but no, they restrain the other man and faster than you can blink, you're alone again with only the echoes of his shouting. You catch Jade's gaze on you from the corner of the room where he's still with Azul and Floyd.

His lips curl up in mischief and he winks.

Looks like your confidence wasn't misplaced, at least.

Call me in the morning to apologize

Every little lie gives me butterflies

Something in the way you're looking through my eyes

Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

"Jade, baby, I think we're lost."

"Nonsense, my pearl. I've been here a million times."

"You should've taken the left at the exit!"

"No, this is a shortcut."

"Jade!"

"Yes, my lovely backseat driver?"

He watches from the corner of his eye as you hold onto your seatbelt for dear life. "Where are we going?! It's not in the map. I swear if you actually get us lost—"

"What will you do?"

You pout at him. "Cry."

"Don't be so dramatic my love, I told you, I've been there before." Jade muses, one hand on the wheel and the other gently patting your thigh. He takes another turn and chuckles. "See? Look at the GPS, we're back on track."

When the Range Rover comes to a stop near a familiar campsite (he was not taking the Rolls Royce into the woods, thank you very much), you immediately hop out of your seat and start to fiddle with the items you'd brought with you. He gets out to help you carry the foldable tent and set it up not too far from the car. "Jade, did you buy new sleeping bags? These weren't the ones we used when we went to the lake." He watches on happily as you figure out there's only one, two-person sleeping bag.

"Wow. Are you cutting corners or are you just that clingy?"

"Whatever do you mean, love?" Jade turns to take out the coats he'd brought along, forcing you into one of them as you whined about its puffiness. Unfortunately, he'd rather not have a frozen lover to roast over the bonfire with the marshmallows. He intertwines your hand with his as you walk side by side on the trail, and he talks to you about safety procedures when hiking ("Do try not to separate, dear.") and protocols ("If you see a bear when I'm not around, say your last prayers." "What if you're around?" "I have a gun if it's really aggressive, don't worry about it." "Why do you have a gun, Jade?") and what kind of mushrooms would be safe to pick without gloves ("In general, if it's colorful, best leave it to me.").

He has such a great time hiking with his cute partner, even if you don't notice his camera taking snapshots every few minutes or so.

With a sack full of mushrooms and other flora, the both of you make your way back to the campsite. He starts on a fire while you set up the foldable chairs and prepare the ingredients for whatever would be dinner. He thinks it should be the mushrooms you had just gathered together, you think it should be something actually edible, and he relents if only because you compromise to add some non-poisonous mushrooms into a stew for dinner. The night ends with your intertwined bodies in the sleeping bag, Jade peppering kisses all over your face as you giggle and try to squirm out of your constraints (the sleeping bag and his arms).

"Goodnight, my love."

"Goodnight, Jade."

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

"I know how to shoot a gun."

—Were the words that spiked your competitiveness with your boyfriend. It wasn't your fault, really, but when that frustratingly pretty face got that smug look that just seemed like it was doubting your abilities, you felt the need to prove yourself. You weren't the brightest bulb in the, ugh, in the string of Christmas lights around the pine tree? But! You prided yourself on your ability to fight. Whether that be with a gun or a knife or just with your bare fists, you'd slammed foes several times bigger and stronger than you to the ground by virtue of pure skill. So to hear Jade questioning one of your rare mastered skills (he would probably argue otherwise) made your blood boil.

So. Shooting range.

You know he's experienced with guns, but you're pretty sure a sniper rifle is new even for him. You help him assemble it and get into proper position.

"My, how scandalous, my darling instructor. In broad daylight too?"

You grimace at his words.

"I'm just trying to get you into the right position!"

"Oh? And what position would be to your preference?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"I feel like I've asked you the same question before too—"

"Jade, there are people—"

"—Did you say missionary or—"

"Oh my fucking gods."

"—Perhaps you said you preferred riding?"

You glare harshly at your boyfriend who was giving you the sweetest smile you'd ever seen on his cute face (no doubt to spite you), and you look around frantically in search of other people. Thankfully you're alone. But it doesn't stop you from repeatedly (softly) hitting his shoulder while he laughed at your expressions, sharp teeth showing. You poke a finger to the corner of his lips, which he quickly nibbles on. "What are you, a dog?" He pulls away just to lean back in and kiss your lips.

"Arf~"

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

Your phone rings in the dead of night. Jade groans and pats you awake to answer, and you console him with a kiss before looking at the contact.

It says 'That Guy'.

Jade murmurs out a question while you hurriedly leave the bed to put on a robe. "I just need to take this call, baby. I'll be right back." You answer the phone out of earshot, leaning against the railing of the balcony. A familiar voice travels through your phone and right to your heart. It stirs memories and realizations you're not quite ready to face again; the biting chill of the wind feels similar to the worry gnawing at you. "Agent L/N."

"...Reporting, sir."

It's still muscle memory, the response and the subconscious salute. 

(Is it still muscle memory to defend yourself against Jade, the way you were taught to?)

"How is your mission?"

You bite back the urge to say 'What mission?'. Ahhh Y/N L/N you're just so stupid, aren't you? First ever mission, your first big responsibility, your first big chance to be someone worth something. You look back at the bedroom and catch a glimpse of Jade's shadow on the bed. You were supposed to worm out information but gods, you've never even tried. It's like every single time he's with you your brain starts to melt into a hot pink sludge. "I'm working on it, sir." You lie because there's nothing else you can do. Where can you run when Jade finds out you were only using him? Where can you run when the Interpol thinks of you as a dead man because they believe you've betrayed them?

Where can you go when everything comes crashing down?

"It's only to be expected, such a man should be awfully guarded even against his own. Keep up the good work and remember to report back when you find anything."

Hah. Jade was barely ever guarded against you, if at all. You could've tapped his electronics at any time or tracked every car he owns. You just...never did. And the realization forces you to redraw your lines. You know exactly where your loyalty lies, don't you? You end the call and look at the lights in the distance; the city is never asleep. It's bursting with neon signs and traffic lights, but the noise doesn't reach the safe haven that's Jade's little villa. Start to make plans. Rethink it all over. You walk back into the bedroom and further, to the guest room you'd never once used but has way too much of your things in. In a suitcase pocket that's invisible to the naked eye, you pick up a packet of tiny buttons.

You hope Jade won't miss you too much in bed when you make a trip to the garage.

Blood on my shirt, rose in my hand

You're looking at me like you don't know who I am

Blood on my shirt, heart in my hand

Still beating

"Happy birthday, Jade!"

"Happy birthday, Floyd."

There's blood in the air, early morning in November. Jade looks up from his newspaper at his brother who was happily dragging a limp body into his pristine living room, sack over its head. "Oh dear, I hope you've called for cleanup. I have a date later today and I would rather not have Y/N turned off the moment I open the front door." He frowns slightly and puts the newspaper down. With careful steps, he approaches the unconscious person and yanks the sack off its face. "Is this your birthday present for me, brother?"

"Yep!"

"Well," Jade smirks, kicking the head awake. "I appreciate the effort."

"Make sure to pay me back, 'kay~?"

"Of course."

The young woman stirs awake, but his eardrums are saved by the duct tape that Floyd had slapped over her mouth. She looked around in a panic and struggled against the ropes binding her wrists and ankles together. "Hello there, Agent Assyra. You're my darling Y/N's favorite sparring partner, aren't you?" Jade whispers softly with a polite smile. A hand gently caresses her hair while she squirms. "I think you'll be good entertainment for me today. Oh, Floyd must have exerted quite a bit of effort bringing you to me, I ought to meet his expectations."

"Damn right." Floyd whines as he collapses on the sofa. "That bitch put up a fucking fight. 'M still sore from her kicking, she just had to do it in stilettos, didn't she?"

"I can imagine. Floyd, pass me the box under the cushion."

Floyd hands him a small box with his favorite set of scalpels inside it. 

"Let's see, it's quite unhygienic to do it in the living room, but I don't plan to let you live too long anyway. I suppose Y/N and I will just have to settle for a hotel room tonight." He hums a merry little tune as he made small incisions in her skin, the blade easily digging through the flesh. "You must have a tracker somewhere in your bloodstream, let's find it, shall we? Oh, I've always wanted to dissect an Interpol agent."

"Why didn't you dissect your Y/N?"

"That's not very funny, Floyd." Jade chuckles. He cuts a line down her arm and watches the blood flow down his rug. "I'll have to remember to buy a new rug. Perhaps Y/N can help me shopping~"

"Bah, you're sooo whipped it's gross."

He makes another line on her leg, gently prodding at the layer of skin and looking for the tracker. "I am a man domesticated."

"Happy birthday—um, Jade...?"

He freezes at the front door being suddenly shoved open with a happy-turned-concerned voice, slowly looking at the person by the door. It's you. In a cute sweater with a big box in your hands, hair sprinkled with snow and eyes wide in horrified shock. "Uh oh." He hears Floyd giggle, and the girl under him moves around more to grab your attention. You look at the girl, then at Jade, then at the cake in your hands. Then at the girl again. "Assyra...?" She nods helplessly. He thinks you might run forward to help your fellow agent (who was clearly on the verge of death from severe bloodloss), but the only thing you do is look at the scalpel in Jade's hand, and back to his eyes. You maintain eye contact while you slowly put down your box and leave as if nothing happened.

"Guess you're single again. Sad."

He ignores his brother's words, running to the box you'd left behind.

Inside is a big cake that he assumes is homemade, half chocolate and half strawberry and whipped cream. It looks decent, and he could feel your efforts in the two-colored icing writing out a message on the top.

'Happy Birthday, Jade! Love you lots :D'

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

Another pull of the trigger, another lifeless body falling to a heap on the ground. He looks on expressionlessly as Azul glances at him with a raised eyebrow before continuing to talk to the person whose lackey Jade had just killed.

"As you can see, Jade isn't feeling too patient today, so if you could just—"

He shoots another bullet, just barely grazing the man's ear before it enters the wall.

"Okay! I agree, I agree, forty percent, yes!" The man nods and signs the contract before scampering away with his (useless) guards. "While I do like a good deal, is there any explanation for your trigger happy behavior?" Azul looks at him in confusion. Floyd takes the offending firearm from his hand and pushes him to sit down on the armrest of Azul's big fancy chair.

"The little cop ghosted him, and he ain't too happy 'bout it." Floyd explains as he puts the gun on the table.

"They were supposed to run back." Jade finally speaks, brows furrowing. "The timing was off, it was an accident they weren't supposed to see. Their conditioning was incomplete and if their higher-ups catch a whiff of their feelings for me, they'll rewire my pearl back to being their little hound. They need to be back to me, and fast."

"Sorry, Jade, maybe I shoulda' brought that bitch in another time."

"It's not your fault." He sighs.

"Then? Why haven't you found them yet?"

Jade looks at Azul. "Have I become predictable? Because the men I've sent off, and the camera footage I've been keeping track of—all of them seem completely avoided. It's like they know my move two steps before I do it."

"Perhaps you've truly met your match."

"Or maybe your pearly's trapped at headquarters." Floyd smirks. "Let's go there! Like a field trip, except with guns and bombs."

"Absolutely not."

"Aww, Azul, you're no fun."

Jade leans back against the chair, looking at his phone lockscreen; a picture of the two of you cupping a mushroom with smiles on your faces. He hovers his thumb above your figure. He unlocks the screen to dial your number again. Like the previous one hundred and fifty two times, it only rings endlessly. Frustrated, Jade stands up, pockets his phone, and picks up his gun again. "Don't you have five more people to meet? Get them in." He snaps at Azul, and the man only pushes his glasses up and shrugs. He clicks a button and the door opens. In comes another greasy, balding, middle-aged loser with some eye candy on his arm, trying to look not so desperate.

Jade aims for his forehead.

"Oh dear, Jade's truly in a bad mood right now, Mr. Sanchez. Let's get this over with quickly before his finger slips." Azul drawls with a smirk, pushing the contract forward.

"Sign here, please."

Fight so dirty but your love's so sweet

Talk so pretty but your heart got teeth

Late night devil, put your hands on me

And never, never, never ever let go

"Whoop! On your left, Jaaaaade~"

He clicks his tongue and dodges accordingly, a flying metal bat hurtling through the air. The smoke and gasoline is choking, but the smell of blood could barely even make him flinch at this point. He turns to kick an incoming assailant in the gut, effortlessly catching a handgun thrown his way by his twin. "Jade! Grab the sparklies, okay?" Jade sighs and opens the sack, sweeping the mess of jewelry inside it and sealing it shut. Somehow, Floyd's idea of 'letting loose and forgetting cops that ghost you' was robbing a luxury jewelry store, just the two of them. Sibling bonding time, of sorts. While he normally wouldn't mind, he's been feeling all too ill without your presence.

"Oh pearl, when will you come back to me?"

He sighs listlessly. A shot is fired towards another guard before he goes to pick up a string of pearls and wear it around his neck. Everything just reminds him of you.

"Sirens, haha!"

At Floyd's signal, he lugs the sack over one shoulder and runs with his brother to the armored car they'd yanked from Azul. He hops into the driver's seat while throwing the 'sparklies' onto his brother's lap.

They don't get very far before a barricade of police cars force them to stop.

"That's no fun." Floyd pouts.

"Backup?"

"Nah, it's cool. Let's just spend a while in a jail cell, I wanna see Azul pop a vein, hehe~"

He could almost imagine Azul's reaction to them getting arrested. He shares a look with his twin and they hop out the car in unison, hands in the air and weapons thrown to the ground. His eyes widen when he realizes the person walking towards him with handcuffs was you.

"Jade Leech." You say sternly, tugging at his arms and cuffing his wrists. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law."

Someone else takes Floyd in.

You push him to a police car and just before you can walk off, he helplessly whispers to you. Not a cry for help, not a plea, no.

A soft, hopeful, sickly sweet "My love." that makes you stop for one moment. Just one.

Before you continue walking.

He lost the gamble.

And above all else—

He'd lost you.

Teeth

Teeth

Teeth

Never, never, never ever let go

Floyd's in a separate cell.

He's flattered, honestly. His own cell is so heavily guarded, cameras and guards everywhere, it makes him feel very important. But it's quite boring, only a bed, a sink, and a shoddily covered toilet. He thinks the clothes look horrendous, and he's patiently awaiting his dear boss who would never leave him nor his brother rotting in a maximum security prison for the rest of their lives. But hours pass by and he's getting rather antsy. How long would it take Azul to bust him out?

The lights go out.

He sinks into his little cot and looks out the tiny window. It's barely even dark and they expect him to go to sleep, somehow.

Who sleeps at 7 in the—

Boom!

He sits up with a grin. Seems like it wasn't scheduled after all.

There's the sounds of fighting and gunshots and explosions and screaming. It all quietens eventually, leaving him on the edge of his seat for whichever side came out on top. There's footsteps in the hallway. Blue tinted silvery hair and glasses hiding an annoyed glare—it's Azul. Floyd comes barreling in a second later. "Jade. I didn't expect your depression to be so bad you'd let yourself get arrested." His friend boss unlocks the door and he steps out with a stretch.

"My apologies. I must admit I was rather preoccupied with my loss."

"Then congratulations."

They walk down the halls littered with dead bodies and Azul's men making sure the dead bodies stayed dead.

"Pardon?"

"It was quite difficult getting through the bulletproof gate, much less just finding this hellhole. Top secret, off the grid, heavily guarded and everything."

"Well then, I thank you for your efforts."

They step out of the prison and back to the grounds.

"Yes yes, but they weren't all my efforts you know?"

He sees a familiar silhouette.

"This place is Interpol property, after all."

"Jade!" You run towards him and tackle him into a hug. He can barely believe his eyes, but he hugs you back so tight you start gasping for air.

"Why...?"

You smile. "My name's Y/N L/N, I killed that alias! I graduated from X police academy, but just recently, I leaked confidential information from the international police force to one of the biggest crime groups in the world. It was fun!"

"Fun?"

"Yeah, but now I'm wanted and have nowhere else to stay." You tug on his sleeve. "Stranger, you got an extra bedspace? I just escaped from getting killed by my former mentors and I'm all tuckered out."

He carries you in his arms and kisses you hard.

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Screaming at an Empty Room -

Reintroduction/Update

Hello everyone! Probably too late to do an intro, given that I've been writing on this blog since 2017, but since I've returned after a few years away from writing, I wanted the opportunity to talk about my blog and projects completed and my upcoming plans!

I go by Avaleon everywhere else on the internet, but respond to pretty much anything, including Screaming, hey you, etc! Started this blog in my mid 20s, and aged normally into the early 30s from there. I love writing, have always loved it, but between work and life, it's definitely something that I mostly do late at night and on weekends. I love hearing from people, but I usually answer asks in bunches, and typically right before I post writing. Love hearing about other people's projects as well!

I write short stories, novellas, and occasional full length novels. I am not published, but actively working on self-publishing some of my full length works. Everything I write is posted online, I enjoy sharing my work. The main reason to self publish for me is to have physical copies for myself or anyone who might want one!

My short stories can be found under the #writing tag on my blog. As for the long completed stories, I'll post them below the cut!

Love you Tumblr, happy to be back!

A. Full Length Novels (100,000+ words)

Please Fix the Story!

Description:

I don’t know who I am. I don’t know why I’m trapped in this never ending cycle of rebirth. All I know is that I wake up inside the worlds of unfinished stories, with a mission to accomplish the author’s wishes and stabilize the worlds now headed for destruction. I do my best, hoping, praying that maybe if I complete enough missions, I’ll be able to remember my past and return to my home.

It’s just fixing stories, it should be simple enough.

So can someone explain who this random villain is who keeps following me to each world?

Masterpost linked here

2. I Can’t Eat Love

Description:

Lenora did not have a wonderful life. After her engagement to Prince Ronan is broken, she loses everything… her reputation, her home and her family. Starving on the streets, she dies angry and bitter at how her life unfolded… only to wake up in her old bed, fifteen again, five years before her death. 

Now she must struggle to change her fate, and the fate of the around her. This time she won’t trust in something as flimsy or changeable as love. No, this time she’ll have the power and the money she needs to protect herself. 

Lenora has already lost everything once. She’s not going to lose again. 

No matter the cost. 

Masterpost Linked Here

B. Novellas

I Refuse to be a Named Character

Description:

I woke up inside the world of one of the best selling fantasy book series “Deadly Crown.” Intrigue, handsome heroes, adventure… sounds great, right? Just one problem: all the named characters except the main hero and villain die, are replaced and their replacements die. Being important in this story is a death sentence, so I plan to move to the middle of nowhere, and avoid the plot! 

It should be a fool proof plan, so why do the main characters keep dragging me into the story?

Masterpost Linked Here

2. Living in a Rewrite of my Own Book World

Description:

This is the story about an author who gets hit by a car right before she can finish her bestselling book series. Trapped in the role of a terrible side character antagonist, she must find a way to change the story’s ending. Not just for her own survival, but for the characters that seem just a little too real to be fiction. (30K words)

Masterpost Linked Here

3.Baby’s First Revenge!

Description:

When Charlotte is betrayed and killed by the friend she sacrificed everything for, she thought it was the end. Instead, she found herself reborn as a baby, with her killer still enjoying the fame of stealing her work. Now, she's coming after him, and plans to make him pay... But first, nap time.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

4. The Supervillain’s Daughter

The story of Erica, a girl who finds out that her brother is the kidnapped child of superheroes, and that her parents are villains. Years later she is the best agent in the Villain Suppression Unit, and hates everything to do with superheroes. So of course she isn’t pleased when she is paired with the strongest man alive, especially because she knows him. But with even darker parts of her past surfacing again, she will have no choice but to join forces and save the world. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

Other smaller works and the incomplete ones can be found on this page

Thanks everyone!

[kradogsrats]

Been noodling idly on something about Aaravos's tiddies chest marking for a while, and since @raayllum just did a big update/summary of the "Aaravos's heart is in the Key" theory... I thought it might be time to put my little thinky-thoughts out there.

In short form: Aaravos's Star primal chest marking is not a natural feature of Startouch elves. It's a brand.

In long form: My initial question was "why, if we have the primordial Star symbol associated with the Celestial elves and with Aaravos himself, would he then have the primal Star symbol front-and-center on his literal body?"

None of the other primal elves have birthmarks or tattoos of the primal sources. (That we've seen. Runaan's might be on his butt or something.) "Actually, all elves are physically marked with the symbol of the primal they are connected to" would also be a very weird lore drop to have this late in the series. So why do Startouch elves have them?

Well, the answer is... they don't. This is a feature unique to Aaravos, and it's an important feature.

For give my heinous artbook page photos, they want thirty-five literal dollars for a digital copy:

What do nearly all of these designs have in common? They don't have their dang tiddies out. We only see what would become the chest mark in the far right and teeny bottom second from the right designs on the second page. Note that in these designs, its nature as a hole or source of corruption is much more obvious—in the far right design, it's even spreading cracks or veins across his body in the same way that dark magic affects humans. (Thank god they didn't go with that single horn, though. The fanfics would have been obscene.) Either way, Aaravos's chest being constantly, readily visible wasn't a design factor until some point where it was determined that it needed to be, because of what would be there.

Furthermore, I'm convinced that Aaravos's design and the use of the Star primal symbol on his chest informed the design of the symbol itself:

Look how much basically none of the unused ones resemble the final design. The one they chose is a total outlier from the direction all the other designs take, but it's also the one that works really well as part of Aaravos. It's the only symmetrical design, and it's simple and solid where the others are busy in a way that would interact poorly with Aaravos's already star-studded skin. (I did a broader analysis of the primal source symbol designs a while back, if you want more.

So Aaravos and the Star primal symbol were designed in a symbiotic way, knowing that it would be a prominent feature for him. Let's take a look at it, then.

In every official appearance of the Star primal symbol, from Rayla's drawing of them to Claudia's spellbook, from the cover of Tales of Xadia to the Mystery of Aaravos titling... the Star primal symbol is in the opposite orientation from the one on Aaravos's chest.

Except in two specific instances: the book page with the Midnight Star poem, and the Key as held by the Orphan Queen in the flashback sequence:

Both of which are referencing Aaravos specifically, and in a specific way—as the one who gifted dark magic to Elarion, and as a deceiving manipulator.

But it's pretty clear that Aaravos's chest star is upside-down. Falling, you might even say. It has also always been that way: we see both in the s1e1 intro shot of the elves preparing to cast the humans out of Xadia and in the much more recent s4e3 flashback sequences that it has the same orientation even before he's imprisoned. It's also there (and I'm 90% sure in the same orientation) in the s6e1 photo leaks (spoilers).

This key element of Aaravos's design is a) not a natural feature, b) very specifically oriented, and c) has been with him as far back as we have thus far seen, to what we are generally assuming for the moment was his "fall."

So, in combination with the "something (literal heart or no) was removed from Aaravos when he "fell" and may be connected with the Key" theory: either in conjunction with or as part of that process, Aaravos was branded, on his body for all to see, with the mark of a fallen star. Then he absolutely owns it with his tits-out outfit, presumably out of sheer fabulous spite, and no one around him actually knows what it means—that he's a punished exile, a piece of himself or his power stolen and/or corrupted.

[itsohh]

Mortal Kombat 1 Intros

A/N: I always wanted to do some of these, this is sort of the 1.5 chapter from my fic, Electra Heart. You can still read without it but the idea is that your a 'secret' popstar to your now partner Johnny. This is you out of costume and set post game epilogue.

Fighters: Johnny Cage, Kenshi Takahashi, Liu Kang, Mileena, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Shang Tsung, Nitara, Ashrah

Warnings: Hint of something suggestive (if you squint)

Electra Heart

Johnny Cage

Johnny: You know after this we should run a bath, help relax your muscles.

You: I'd bet you'd like that. Johnny: Trust me I have this massive bathtub in the ensuite that you're going to love. Promise to show it to you after we’re done here.

-

You: Johnny it's really fine if your busy you didn't need to cancel your plans-

Johnny: Hey if my girl’s feeling down there's nothing in all the realms that can stop me from trying to cheer her up. Let's get you destressed babe.

-

Johnny: God damn your hot when you fight. Have I told you that before?

You: Only every time we spare.

-

You: Where do you get all your glasses?

Johnny: Come on, babe, a magician never reveals his secrets.

-

Johnny: Still thinking about that thing you did with your-

You: -Johnny. We have an audience.

-

Kenshi Takahashi

Kenshi: Johnny makes you happy, even I can see that.

You: I feel weird when you make blind jokes and they say I spend too much time around him.

-

You: Johnny really appreciates you, you know that? You’re like a brother to him now.

Kenshin: If he appreciates anyone it's you.

You: That's not the same.

-

You: So how's it feel to be a secret agent in your black fancy suit?

Kenshi: Different, but good.

-

Kenshi: Why Johnny?

You: I like a man that can make me laugh.

-

You: So what was your plan if you went to the tournament and then never got Sento?

Kenshi: Originally I figured I could steal while he slept.

You: How did that work out for you?

Kenshi: He's surprisingly very aware even when asleep.

-

Liu Kang

You: Man, I hate fighting you.

Liu Kang: Why's that?

You: Feel like I'm fighting my mum. It's weird that you're the creator of all things.

-

Liu Kang: Is there any way I could convince you to bring your all against Johnny? You holding back is only limiting both your skills.

You: Sorry Liu Kang that's not happening any time soon.

-

You: I kinda miss the academy. It was so peaceful.

Liu Kang: You’re welcome back anytime.

You: Think my manager would kill me.

-

You: If we’re just split in a timeline does that mean we're less than people? Am I just a carbon copy of the original?

Liu Kang: No. Multiple versions of you there may be but all have equal value and all are worthy of life.

-

You: How come you didn't contact Titan me? Surely I would help no?

Liu Kang: I summoned you as a request for help but you did not respond.

-

Mileena

You: So how come you’re so…you… now but when we were in the lab you weren't?

Mileena: The bloodlust overcame me. I am in control now.

-

You: What you have done for those with tarkat is incredibly honourable- no- kind. Not everyone would offer such support. I know you don't do it for praise but I can't help but respect you so much for it. 

Mileena: People with tarkat are people too and deserve to be treated with respect.

-

You: Not to sound like Johnny but you really are stunning Mileena. Nothing like a beautiful, smart and empathic leader.

Mileena: Not many would genuinly say that while I look like this. Thank you.

-

Mileena: I'm surprised you’re not Earth's champion, you fight well.

You: I'm already famous in Earthrealm, I don't want to be famous in Outworld as well.

-

You: I'm sorry for your mother's loss, I didn't know her for long but I could tell she was an outstanding woman and a great mother. Evidence is you and Kitana.

Mileena: She had her flaws and I intend to improve on what she started.

-

Scorpion

You: Do you mind not using the uh rope thingy against me? I'd prefer not to have rope burns.

Scorpion: I never leave permanent marks from sparring but so be it, I can beat you without it.

You: ...Yay.

-

You: Was Bi-Han always like this?

Scorpion: He was competitive and ambitious but I could never fathom him betraying us.

-

Scorpion: You are surprisingly like Johnny, originally you hid your playful manner well.

You: Uh yeah we were in a professional setting, we aren't now.

-

You: Soooo how's the Shirai Ryu?

Scorpion: Growing stronger every day. Tomas was right to initiate Hanzo.

-

You: Got to say, not a lot of people rock yellow well so kudos to you.

Scorpion: Focus.

-

Sub-Zero

You: You know if you really wanted to show your power and defend Earthrealm you could start by refreezing the ice caps.

Sub-zero: Your mockery ends when I tear your tongue from your throat.

You: So violent.

-

You: I have to admit if you weren’t so…you…then you would be a good-looking dude.

Sub-zero: My appearance matters not, you will be dead before you lay eyes on me.

-

You: You’re one ice cold hearted bastard you know that? I do not envy your lonely life.

Sub-zero: You won’t have a life to envy.

-

You: Does it hurt? Knowing that Tomas is a more honourable man, more of a brother than you could ever dream to be?

Sub-zero: That matters not when you have this power.

-

You: Hey, it's the spineless prick.

Sub-zero: It will be you without a spine.

-

Shang Tsung

You: Ugh, it must be exhausting scheming up so many plans. I barely know what I want myself to do let alone other people.

Shang Tsung: Well, some people were made to lead others to follow. It seems you are a latter sheep.

-

You: I'm not going to bother and try to get you to see empathy it's a waste of time for a man without emotions.

Shang Tsung: I assure you I have emotions, one with be glee when I win this fight.

-

You: Yellow so isn't your colour.

Shang Tsung: You can lie to yourself but don't lie to me.

-

Shang Tsung: Nightingale, I would say it's a pleasure but I think we’re past that.

You: Ah fuck, Outworld knowing my stage name is the last thing I need right now.

Shang Tsung: Not Outworld, just me. I do my research and you're an interesting woman to learn about.

-

You: Again with the smug-looking smirk? Maybe you should contract tarkat, perhaps your smile then would be pretty.

Shang Tsung: You think I would be so reckless to contract tarkat? Perhaps you’re less intelligent than I gave you credit for.

-

Nitara

You: This victim complex you lot wear is kinda pathetic honestly.

Nitara: Perhaps you would understand did your race was starving.

You: It's called sustainability, perhaps you should look it up.

-

You: Maybe you should evolve to feed on each other. Feel like this would be a win-win for everyone.

Nitara: We won't need to when I take you.

-

You: Honestly killing when you feed? Rookie mistake should have caught and released.

Nitara: Easier said in retrospect.

-

You: I read up on Vaeternus's history. You did this to yourselves, if a race can't survive without damning another then they shouldn't exist.

Nitara: I will feed Vaeternus no matter the cost.

-

You: Bleh bleh I vant to suck your dick- hahaha. Sorry, I can't take you lot seriously. Like seriously vampires?

Nitara: You mock us but you underestimate our power.

-

Ashrah

You: How are you finding Earthrelm?

Ashrah: It's more incredible than I ever could have dreamed of.

You: If you ever find yourself in LA. Come visit, my home’s always open to you and your sister.

-

You: I'm not one for serious talk but you chose to follow a better path when you saw a possibility. You turned your back on everything I know which is more than I can say about many humans. You the furthest thing from a demon that I've met.

Ashrah: I would say you're flattering me but I can see it in your eyes you mean it.

-

Ashrah: Earthrelm is so bright. So full of life, I'm proud to call it my home.

You: And we're proud to call you one of our defenders.

-

You: When you have time free I'd love to show you all that Earthrelm has to offer.

Ashrah: I'd love my sister to experience that as well.

You: Only if you’re cool if Johnny tags along. He'll definitely want to when he catches wind of our plans.

Ashrah: I can agree to that.

-

Ashrah: It's strange. Ever since Johnny released his ‘film’ people have been approaching me on the odd occasion about a ‘cosplay'.

You: Yeah, you might have to change up your look if it gets annoying.

Ashrah: I don't mind it, it's nice to have such happiness and excitement from strangers.

[evilbihan]

Guys, wake up, the Lin Kuei brothers are canonically dead in the main timeline.

I don't even know how this happened and if they put any thought at all into this game and the content they put out there, but I just discovered the biggest plot hole in the whole story.

Remember when the game wasn't released yet and everyone was freaking out about the Kuai Liang and Harumi wedding scene from the Scorpion invasions mode story that got leaked? People were arguing back and forth about whether or not invasions mode events were canon.

Short answer, they are.

Now someone answer me this:

"It is no surprise that the Zaterrans chose to infiltrate the Shirai Ryu. That they dispatched Scorpion is a tragedy. Defend our realm and his honor by finishing this pretender."

Liu Kang confirmed that Kuai Liang was killed by the Zaterrans. We can also see that in the intro cinematic.

Keep in mind, Kuai Liang is only Scorpion in this one timeline Liu Kang created. Geras told him so in an intro and since intros are also canon, where does that leave us?

"Smoke's imposter mastered the original's use of stealth and misdirection. That alone makes him a difficult antagonist. Now add Zaterran savagery? Reptilian cunning? No doubt, your skills will be tested."

Smoke is also dead. As is Bi-Han.

"This false Sub-Zero copied Bi-Han to perfection. Months passed before the Lin Kuei realized he was among them. They want this pretender dead, but he must be interrogated. Capture. Do not kill."

So who exactly is fighting in the story dlc? The Zaterran copies of the brothers? It makes absolutely no sense and it's disappointing how little they care about keeping the lore coherent.

Did Liu Kang resurrect the brothers? It's not shown in the ending cinematic and I doubt he would do it since he keeps insisting that he wants everyone in his timeline to choose their own path. It would also open up the question why he didn't resurrect Sindel or the brothers' father as it would solve the story's main conflicts. In conclusion, that can only mean they're dead and that's impossible given that there will be a whole story expansion.

As a side note, I dedicate this to that one person who made a whole post a few months ago, trying to lecture me on the accuracy of MK lore and how I was "twisting it" to fit my own narrative.

Is this your sacred lore that should never be questioned?

MK lore is literally twisting itself. It's full of contradictions and plot holes. Some of you take this game so seriously when it doesn't even take itself seriously.

[charbies]

I'm mashing together my review of totk and reactions to random encounters with the masterworks I've had lately into one stream of consciousness

Totk should have had true continuity, not a 6 year time skip that we never get to see, experience, and feel. It's not that hard to bridge 2 games with a 1-2 min cutscene, esp in a zelda game. Majora's mask starts with quick, but meaningful exposition that bridges OOT to MM! The intro to wind waker is a 6 minute long cutscene!! This series thrives with its detailed, intriguing intros, so what happened?? Before I even launched totk the night it came out, I booted up botw and replayed the final boss & ending because I was so stoked to see the transition in story/world and wanted to honor both games. Instead boom, we're walking in a cave w/ no context.

I was so disappointed that zelda wasn't a companion character to link in totk, it was disempowering to her character arc. Really thought this game would build off of botw's snippets of link & zelda working together in memories. The teasers and trailers for totk gave this perception that she would be there (which would also "break tradition" like devs wanted, ffs). When I was on the tutorial island I was fully convinced I'd be finding her and we'd reconvene like "ok what's next." When I realized 20 mins into the game that she was GONE gone, as in will not reappear likely until the end of the game damsel-in-distress-style, my verbatim thought "wait... really? Is this still going to be good?" Which was kinda sad, for a game I waited so many years for :/

I had major pet peeves with the copy/paste nature of the cutscenes with the old sages. The dialogue, bgs, pacing, literally all identical. They just hot swapped the character models for the sages and said that was good enough, wtf!!! I live for cutscenes in games, I have since I was like 5. This felt lazy, and seriously demotivated me from completing the dungeons bc I knew there was going to be nothing novel or intriguing to look forward to

The secret stones were gimmicky af. Sorry. Also stupid name, they couldn't even opt for "sacred?" Ik in other languages they have way cooler names, which would have helped. Link's fucking thanos glove of stones was a stupid gimmick, I cannot believe they didn't think to alter that concept to be more mythical, or creative, or just original. I would have killed for the stones to relate to the triforce in some way, or to do away with the stones and have this game connect to the triforce, since the whole direction of this story was going back to ancient myth & lore.

the Zonai lacked depth, and honestly just felt like a boring distraction even tho they were supposed to be a central focus of this game. I 1000% agree with other folks posts on the take that rauru was a flat, 2-dimensional colonizer. Sonia got sidelined. yikes. ew. no thanks.

^similarly, ganon really was given no character or depth imo. It's like they did a fantastic job making him visibly LOOK scary, so they didn't bother to give him motives beyond "I'm bad, I do what I want."

the cliche "back to normal" at the end irked me. Link could have come out with no arm, keeping the zonia arm, or at least scars w/ the zonai arm pattern and that would be meaningful. Zelda got factory reset from irreversible draconification in a method that for all intents and purposes, could have been done as soon as link got rewind ability. There was no investigation or inclusion of the other dragons, which seemed like a missed opportunity. Actively working on reversing her could have been a main quest in game!! Like 1. Complete all dungeons/get all stones, 2. you can now go round up the spirits of rauru & sonia and reverse zelda yippee, 3. you and zelda go beat the shit out of ganon together. The dragons fighting was beautiful, powerful imagery, but honestly I think too much potential was traded away just to execute that one fraction of the boss fight.

The masterworks book annoys me, which is sad bc I love concept art. I wanted to be a concept artist growing up, I can accept that you'll often see things that never make it into the final cut. I was enamored with early posts abt things like zelda's haircut, char designs, etc.

But more recently I'm seeing the anthology side of the book taking major liberties that it didn't even bother showing us directly or alluding to in the game, and I think that's such a cop-out. They are literally telling us instead of SHOWING us in the game they release a year ago, and spent SIX YEARS making. There was a festival celebrating the return of zelda/defeat of ganon?? Freaking show us that!!! Show us link & zelda acclimate to post-calamity life. Show us imperfect, non-linear healing and resilience. I would have loved a festival scene w/ link and zelda that conveys the nuance of celebration and recognition of their efforts, and the contrasting weight of what they went through. Show me zelda, exhausted after a festival struggling with guilt and indecision about whether to bring back the monarchy with hyrule's restoration. Throwing in a "oh btw imagine if we actually had done this" post-game makes me so irritated and feral. It's like the post-release canon is sidling up to fanon and saying, "hey look we can do that too! look at our fan art" idk if that makes sense, I don't think I'm explaining it well. But it just feels disingenuous.

I'm not a timeline purest, I don't need everything to interconnect, but I don't love how assertions in this book invalidate connections and lore of other games. Also really don't love how this game overwrites and sidelines the sheikah.

I know majority of my disappointment stems from my own, personal expectations of a game that, let's face it, was probably given many mandates and initiatives to appeal to *everyone* in broad, lackluster ways. I still love the world and characters of zelda, if anything, totk reaffirmed what I love and want to prioritize in my art that I didn't see present in this game. Fun fact I used the world of botw to learn a lot about drawing landscapes & composition. It actually inspires me a bit to try to learn to do comics, which has been a longtime goal I've been too busy and/or timid to pursue lol.

mmm anyway if u read this and any of this resonated DM me and lets froth at the mouth and commiserate lol

[galaxyseclipse]

give us the ordered side for we desire it

okay, but like I said, aside from the Four stuff, it’s pretty close to the actual game, just altered slightly with some extra details to fit my ocs' stories better

The intro floors play out almost identically, except when they see Acht for the first time they and Eight immediately start throwing shade at each other. They knew each other in the military, and because Acht knew what/who Eight was, the two didn't get along very well back then.

And, like I said in my last post about this, they don't see/fight Order again until they go up with Eight's palette. What does she fight when she gets to the top every time then? For every palette except Four's it's a copy of their avatar using whatever weapon is associated with the palette she's currently using, also with the associated person's personality.

When she does use Four's palette(which would also be dualies btw) is when she fights Agent Forte, about halfway through the entire ordeal. so yes, they were strung up by their elbows for who knows how long

A vast majority of it would just be minor character explorations as they climb the tower ten times lol. Also Eight is completely sleep-deprived because touring, so everyone's gotta deal with that.

Eight doesn't start actually restoring her own memories until she uses her own palette, so she's going through all this just to get to the point where she can do what she was promised. As she does though she finds out stuff she didn't really want to know and doesn't take it super well. She technically knew about it before, but was hardcore denying it until then. She also gets mad at Marina because she knew about it the entire time and didn't say anything.

When she does finally fight Order, it goes about how it does in the game, but when all the spectrum chips and the fun music and what-not come out she gets sparkly and iridescent and stuff because I said so. Like I said before, she deserves some iridescence after all that.

After it's defeated Smollusk spills all the info about the other devs and stuff that is normally given on subsequent runs up the tower.

Eight and Smollusk don't get along very well after everything.("Mawina, Eight tried to eat me!" "Did not!" "Eight, be nice!" ">:(")

[justkissmewip]

I read the intro post about this project and I was so curious, but before jumping in and reading the demo I decided to see the character post for A. And my excitement immediately died.

AI? Really?

I'm not opposed to the concept of AI alone, but right now it's just so deeply unethical. The ecological impact, the thousands and thousands of artists whose work was stolen and used to train those algorithms, sometimes leading to almost 1:1 copies of their creative work being produced and used for profit by someone else - those are all issues that are often discussed in creative spaces.

And even if you don't care about all that - how are your readers supposed to trust you? How are they supposed to trust that you're actually making what you're saying you're making instead of just feeding prompts to AI?

There are just so many ethical alternatives and some of them are even free. You could commission an artist. You could look through some archives for free use vintage illustrations of schools like the one you have in your header. You could use picrew for the character portraits to have that visualisation without reaching for AI. Some IF authors just find face claims among actors and celebrities.

It's just disappointing to see someone who's a part of this beautiful, vibrant, and creative group that is the IF writing community, use inventions that currently hurt artists all over the world.

Hmm, okay, this is a heavy one! Ha-ha, a post like this is definitely a good way to wake me up in the morning.

I want to apologize to artists on this forum (well, and all artists everywhere) for using AI art. I did it with no ill-will; I simply wanted a placeholder in the meantime so that readers could get an idea of what these characters look like. AI is a great tool for people who do not have the funds or access to other materials. But, this person makes some great points - there is a lot of uncertainty around AI, such as legality, and particularly the point about AI chatbots being trained using artists work without their permission. I really don't want to cause anyone harm, nor do I want to get into trouble honestly, so I'm going to stop using AI images from now on.

However, I do not appreciate the implication that using AI art is an automatic indication that I am using AI to generate my story and am no longer trustworthy. Writing interactive fiction is a lot of work, as I'm sure many of you know, and I take it very seriously. I want to produce the best product possible of course! So, rest assured that ChatGPT isn't currently churning out the next chapter of JKM. It wouldn't write Sawyer right anyways ;)

Art is not cheap, which makes a lot of sense, because artists deserve to be paid adequately for their work. So, I'm not going to look into art assets too much now until JKM is close to being finished, which is probably not any time soon if I'm being honest. I would rather wait and get some quality work that I think suits the characters then use anything else, especially since I personally imagine the characters in a more comic-book/anime style anyways. I apologize for that! But, the imagination is much better than any AI images I would have uploaded anyways.

To all artists, again, I am sorry! I appreciate and respect your hard work and efforts. I look forward to working with some of you as JKM progresses and I need to commission some art. Because trust me when I say I am not artistically inclined at all :).

To the person who wrote this, thank you for your great points. I can appreciate your passion about protecting artists. Hopefully you can give JKM another chance despite this setback.

Cheers,

Lucky

[gothhabiba]

Hey, apologies, I'm sure this has been asked before & I've seen an answer about it, but I'm struggling to find the post! And absolutely no pressure to answer bc I know it's asking a lot. I really enjoy reading poetry and find your poetry so wonderful & moving to read, I really treasure my copy of wonderers & witch talkers. I have no background in literature or humanities and I really enjoy writing poetry but it is Bad Poetry. Is there a way to get better at both reading & writing poetry, please?

thank you so much, that's so flattering! 🥰♥

there's a lot of advice about writing poetry in my tagged/writing:

my process of writing a poem from beginning to end, including editing

how to get over the anxiety of being "bad" at poetry

how to find your poetic voice (via @christee-angel)

writing exercises

on line breaks in free-form poetry

how to get started writing fixed-form poetry

sonnet exercises (at the end of this reading). mostly if you've already written a few sonnets and are interested in the form

how to avoid sounding trite (don't worry about this yet if you've just started writing poetry)

the advice in there about reading poetry is sparser, but a lot of the advice about writing (making sure that things like tone, line breaks, and meter are 'doing' what you want them to do) doubles as advice about reading—in fact, reading poetry is necessary to gain an understanding of what, for example, a line break 'does' to your experience of reading a poem, such that you can manipulate your own line breaks to effect.

more advice on reading poetry:

Paul Fussell's Poetic Meter and Poetic Form is often given as an intro to close reading of poetry. you might start with chapter 6, which engages with both metre and rhyme.

different ethos of reading literature (that aren't close reading) and questions to ask yourself as you read

how to read stress in / perform scansion of metred poetry

I also want to stress that, if you're enjoying what you read, you are not "bad" at reading poetry. reading a poem, having an emotional (or other) response to the import of the words, a pleasurable (or jarring, thought-provoking, interestingly uncomfortable) response to the texture of the language itself—any instance where a poem is 'doing' something for you, where you feel like you're getting something from the poem, or collaborating with the poem to produce an experience you like—these are all 'successful' instances of reading poetry.

additional things to do / pay attention to when reading a poem:

read the poem silently, and then (if you can) aloud. pay attention to how the poem makes you feel, what situation you think it's describing, what ideas you get from it. then listen to the poem as it's read (if there's a reading on youtube or an audiobook version, for example) and compare that to your reading of the poem. how do the different readings suggest different interpretations or emphasis?

on your next reading, pay special attention to the language of the poem and to how the words sound put together as you read aloud. how do they feel in your mouth? what rhymes, repeated sounds (consonance or assonance), rhythms do you notice? at what pace do move across the page, and how does the author of the poem use rhythm, lineation, or spacing across the page to alter that pace? can you liken the rhythm of the poem to a certain pattern of bodily movement? can you 'feel' it? what does the shape of the poem evoke? why do you think the author made the choices they did?

notice the tone of the words chosen. is it matter-of-fact, melodramatic, incisive, flowery, pared-down, effusive?

notice the structure of the poem. is it strictly chronological, does it move back and forth, is it wandering, repetitive, cyclic, does it repeatedly reference ideas or repeat images that have come before? what effect do these things have on your experience of the poem? how would the poem be different with a different tone or structure?

as a writing exercise, try writing the poem with a different tone or structure. what changes? is it more effective, less effective, does it do different things? which version do you prefer?

does the poem remind you of anything you've read before? what ideas in the broader world (social, literary, economic, political) does the poem reference or play with? does your perception of the poem's form (i.e., you probably have different ideas about what a sonnet versus a free-form poem 'means') seem to work with or against the poem's tone and ideas? why do you think the poet chose the form they did? on analysing the choices that a poet made within a fixed form, see Fussell again.

as you notice different aspects of a poem in their plurality, you should be in a better place to manipulate these things in your own writing; this also encourages more multivalent possibilities in how you respond to other people's writing.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 9 thoughts

i have so much to say. i just copied and pasted my notes, and my thoughts were COMICALLY long. but it was SUCH a good episode so i have a LOT to point out. even more than usual, somehow.

(screams to let it all out and then tries to take a deep breath and gather myself)

okay. OKAY FUCK. okay. whew. we start from the top. the very very top, in which i click on the episode. and so begins an emotional rollercoaster.

this episode description mentions a train. as does the one after that!!! am i in for a two parter?!?! well, if so, at least i am prepared with this information, so i don’t get a massive shock like with duane barry! (author’s note: i was right!)

a train. huh. would love to ride one of those someday. unfortunately i’m american. we only really have cargo ones hanging about. but their noise is deeply familiar and comforting to me regardless.

(little did i know that this was the very kind of train to be featured in this episode!!)

camera opens on tennessee! children are riding bikes to watch a train. ah, good to know the desire to stop doing other things and instead watch a train go by is universal.

now it’s night at the train. is some graffiti action going to take place? the music is getting weirder as we look at the top of this train, and it appears we are in for no ordinary graffiti moment as some cars pull up. 

and these people are from japan! in tenneseee! boarding the train…? which is full of science stuff!! this is odd on many levels.

(japan to tennessee… whew, that’s a long flight. give these men some caffeine now!)

caffeine seems to be ignored because they are in surgery looking gear cutting something open. and green stuff flows into a jar? hey. not liking that. 

they are cutting into what looks like, in my opinion, some guts.

until people run in and start shooting!!! really truly shooting and killing everyone!!! what!!! what the hell!! who are these guys!! are they with cig man??? holy fuck, if that WAS an alien autopsy, way to ruin the scientific method with bullets in the lab!!

and they are zipping an alien into a bag!! so it was!!! the blatant disregard for learning here!! it’s appallingly american! who are these people?!!

bum bum bum bum… woo woo woo woo wooo wooo… woo woo woo woo WOOO woo… intro time.

mulder has his feet up on the desk. fiddling with… something. scully opens the door and he tells her to come on in, with the face of a man who is scheming. he has it all dark like a movie theatre!!!

LMAOOOO he ordered a video from a magazine of an alien autopsy. and that must be why he looks like a kid in a candy store. $29.95, plus shipping!!! THAT IS A LOT!!

she’s like, you literally cannot see what they are operating on. and she says it’s hokier than the one they aired on fox news. which means i have to google a few things to learn if that actually happened. actually i don’t want to even know.

he mentions the green goo and he says “it’s widely held that aliens don’t have blood, scully” <- girl how would she know that. also you literally almost died FROM alien blood. so explain.

they’re arguing the merits of what makes an authentic alien autopsy tape, and then he points out how the people burst in with guns right before the film cuts off. well, that could make it look more authentic, or less!

some guy in allentown got the tapes so they’re visiting LMAOOO road trip road trip!!!! to a very old looking house. 

the studio is called “rat tail productions” okayyy. i kinda like that. but it’s all boarded up so they have to try and break in.

and they find a dead body!! that is still warm!!! what is going on!!!

someone else enters!! and mulder chases after them and jumps the fence yelling that he is a federal agent. zooooom that is a speedy man. 

and just when it seems mulder has the guy, he starts kicking and punching and BOOM! down goes mulder. until he shoots something nearby to show he isn’t playing. 

mulder is wet from falling into a bunch of garbage… king. and the language barrier is being a barrier!

(sidenote i’m surprised they didn’t make mulder learn another language in school or for the fbi?? like actually really shocked. you’d think he’d have at least one other one, or a few basic phrases, under his belt. idk, where i’m from higher education in humanities related fields requires language learning, but he somehow escaped)

mulder is pretty despite being covered in garbage and bringing a man to a police station

scully says they can’t find an interpreter! this is not really shocking because they are in pennsylvania. 

“well look at this… a beacon in the night” says mulder whilst smiling, and who is it he glances upon but SKINNER?!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?? are they in trouble?? does… skinner know japanese??

(mulder asks and he does not 💔)

skinner says they have to let the guy (kazuo sakurai) go because he is a high ranking diplomat. so if you’re a diplomat can you just… walk away from a murder scene and that isn’t a problem?? at all? i did not think it worked like this.

skinner asks what they’re doing and mulder says he’s tracking down a “video piracy thing” LMAOOOO least convincing lie ever. 

skinner tells him to go back home, and then very purposefully brushes into his shoulder before walking away. yowch! that has got to sting. mulder looks like he just got caught and is trying to charm his way out of it

scully rightfully points out that this makes no sense, and asks if he wants to drop it, but mulder says he paid his $29.95 and he is gonna get his answers!!!

LMAOOO he “forgot” to turn in the suitcase kazuo was carrying. it has a list of members of a ufo society with a local woman’s name circled!! was she gonna be their next target…?

he tells her to get a motel and he is going to go back to D.C. and be “a good boy” for skinner… LMAOOO, and he’ll show the files to his besties 

back in D.C., and woah, mulder looks like a real slut with his hands on his waist and his jeans and tucked in turtleneck sweater. i am NOT complaining. just merely observing. it’s kinda giving that one photo of the rock. i see where he took his style inspo from.

so the lone gunmen say that the japanese were looking for a sunken ship from wartime, and it looks like they found it, but they brought it to virginia? very weird. maybe they did not find a sub… but something else.

the diplomats are heading home. or not. because someone is beating up kazuo! huh?! WHAT!

scully on da scene in allentown pa. serving. knocking at a door of the person whose name was circled in the files.

but the person goes to answer the door and she says they know her. she’s like umm not sure about that?? until another person comes to the door and says “oh my god… she’s one” WHAT??

(is this like a secret society of people who were abducted or like. are they trying to scam her or something?)

she looks super freaked out. she’s trying to explain that she’s here for murder investigation reasons, but the lady in pink (penny) is calling and saying everyone needs to come over right away. this will surely make scully even more stressed.

they ask her if there was some unexplained event that happened last year. and also to please sit down. so you KNOW things are about to get wild.

mulder is asking about the ship that allegedly was returning through panama. and the boat was stopped! but then kept going? the guy he’s asking to look into this does not seem to be pleased to discuss this subject. 

scully is freaking tf out but trying to gently explain that she does NOT KNOW THESE PEOPLE. but they’re talking about being taken to “the bright white place” and that she was only taken once, but these other women were taken many times. WHAT IS GOING ON.

they ask her about regression hypnosis and she’s like i do not want to talk about this. (and yes i even TRIED IT) and she looks around at all the other women and it is creepy. SAVE HER… save them all.

mulder is running away from the guy he asked for the files from. he’s always going somewhere. looking at a boat. looking at another boat. is he gonna sneak on the boat? YES HE IS. HE IS JUMPING ON IT. elbowing a window open to get in. this is a wild man!! he will break into your boat!!!

he’s going through drawers looking for stuff and i’m thinking, oh man i really hope the boat doesn’t start heading out to sea… he has nothing to survive on. and we’ve seen them kill people, so don’t say “accidental” boat abandonment with a guy on it is out of the realm of possibility. but it IS the boat he was hoping for. and now he’s sneaking about its underbelly. 

NO! he has been caught. the boat is being swarmed by men with guns. he seems too tall to hide…. but he did!! AND HE JUMPS INTO THE HARBOR LMAOOOOO, NOOO, THE POLLUTANTS!!

back to scully. i was so caught up in the boat espionage i had forgotten about scully’s dilemma. and they say that she won’t remember what happened to her for a while. cut scene to her being blowed up again like we saw in s2.

and she is really freaking out now, because they point out that they all have the mark and she just wants to learn about this murder, damn it, not unpack trauma!!

but betsy, who she came to see, is dealing with very severe cancer. and they say that what she is dealing with is going to happen to all of them. WHAT??? “we’re all dying because of what they do to us” OH MY GOD??? she has tears in her eyes. WHAT!!! what. 

back to the boat. do i look like i give a damn about the boat!! no!! but mulder is crawling- at night- from the harbor. so did he stay there all evening or….

so he’s once again on the run. and soaking wet. please take a shower, my friend. you know not what they do in that harbor. 

he sees people pulling in to the warehouse nearby!! with guns!!! and we see him sneak by!!! no, mulder, consider going home and not getting caught!! but what if he finds something that can help scully…? and oh my gosh, he doesn’t even KNOW she’s slowly dying yet. oh my gosh wait i need to sit down (said by the girl who is literally sitting)

the orchestral score is popping off, too. he peeks in a window and sees a giant… thing? being gassed. with cameras out and about. like a blimp looking thing. 

somehow he gets a change of clothes. and he goes home but his apartment door was unlocked! so he has his gun. is it skinner? 

IT IS!! whew! that was best case scenario, so it was just wishful thinking on my part, but maybe i really am deeply attuned to this show. skinner is sitting there in the dark. we see some photos on mulder’s desk but they kinda just look like random places. one is some sort of field? and the other is a house, i think? not recognizable to me. but back to the plot at hand.

skinner tells him to put the gun down. sort of like you tell a dog to drop it. he obeys. aww, he is a good boy for skinner, like he mentioned earlier.

so skinner has some tea; kazuo’s body was found in a canal!!!! he didn’t make his flight!! and they government thinks he was killed over his BRIEFCASE!!! 

mulder plays dumb. then he admits that scully has the briefcase in her car. he seems like he’s trying to play it cool but skinner is NOT having it. “this is bigger than me, you, or the FBI, agent mulder” okayyyy king of being vague. and he says he is not getting involved!!! woah!!!

so mulder goes to… a senator!!! yes, the senator we saw very briefly a few times before, whose name is richard matheson? i didn’t really understand that in the past, but maybe it was building up to this. richard says to return the photos, but mulder says he’ll be entangled in a murder investigation, which he cannot afford because he is so close to the truth!

this senator claims to be telling mulder the truth about what is going on. and he explains what happens in tennessee, how the japanese doctors were murdered doing a secret thing. 

“what am i onto here?” , he asks. “monsters begetting monsters”, says the senator. ohhhhhhh that does not sound good.

(i hope he exposes the alien people and the torture and they blow up all the people that hurt scully and the rest of those women and then hold hands)

he’s back in his office with his glasses on. and i would be glad for a glasses mulder win under normal circumstances, but my heart is sick over scully. i take what i can get when i can get it, though, because he is a beautiful man in glasses. 

SCULLY’S BACK!! and she is still freaking out. she relays the news that she might be dying, and he looks up at her so innocently and says “but you’re fine, aren’t you scully?” OHHHH BABY. BABY. GROWN MAN. BUT BABY. OHHHHHHH MY HEART. MY HEART ITS MELTING. MY EYES ARE TEARING. “but you’re fine, aren’t you?” oh lord… he cannot lose anymore people. 

she is terrified- “am i? i don’t know, mulder” NOOOOOOOO MY BABY. STOP. DO NOT DO THIS TO HER.

he pulls up a photo and she says she knows someone in it, but that guy has been dead since 1965. mulder seems to find this difficult to believe, but last episode he was suggesting that someone was bleeding another person’s blood, so i feel he of all people should be open to this idea.

(oh…. they’re using unit 731 for the storyline here. and they have done that in the past as well but. wow. awful lot of baggage to dredge up there. very very painful and unhealed wounds)

((and i guess before they have done similar things involving nazis, right, remember victor? and his experiments? even if it was done before though, it doesn’t make it any less chilling to me. i’m not sure how i feel about using real horrific war crimes as plot points in an alien show))

but my reckoning with history aside, mulder says that four of the men in that photo were in the alien autopsy video. and they were murdered.

“murdered for what? or murdered by whom?” oh scully, you deserve none of the suffering that the world has given to you. NONE OF IT. if i were mulder, i would hug her and never let go ever. ever ever. 

he thinks they’re still trying to make an alien-human hybrid, but she still isn’t buying it, even after everything; she needs proof. she says believing is the easy part, but he disagrees. “you think that believing is easy?” he asks, and it hangs in the air.

oh, i want to linger in that space forever. the tension it creates, the things it reveals about him. how belief is centered on hope, how he has to fight for it, that it doesn’t come as natural as breathing as he might have you thinking. it’s hope for a better future, it’s hope for righting old wrongs, it’s looking where no one else will go find the answers. it’s about getting family back. it’s about fighting and sneaking and learning and even killing to get what you need to know. but it’s never easy. 

FUCK. I’M LIKE GONNA JUMP UP AND DOWN. THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!! THIS IS THE STUFF!!!

they hold eye contact for a bit, until she sighs and breaks it (fuck me, i’m emotional) and he points out that they DO have proof, as he reaches for her arms- the spy photos were tracking a ship that pulled a UFO out of the ocean, and the UFO is in that warehouse that he saw earlier!! that thing i said looked like a blimp!!!

he says the US has a secret railroad. i yearn so desperately for accessible transportation. if the government said tomorrow, yeah, we have a secret rail system, i’m not sure how i’d react. perhaps relief?

there is very very very charged eye contact. 

okay, bringing the thingy from her neck to a guy who can understand it. it’s a “micro processor”, and there are a few companies that make them. and they are being used for many things. so was it made by ordinary people, and not alien tech…? who is doing the torturing and testing…? and to what end???

it’s all women in that room… is it for alien breeding purposes… oh, i shutter to imagine

back in west virginia!!! mulder has a leather jacket on and a dream as he climbs up into some sort of railroad building’s roof. his hair blows dreamily in the wind as he busts out some binoculars. if he were to be caught, he could probably convincingly claim he was a birder. i understand they go through a lot to find their birds. 

people are showing up. they’re speaking japanese and getting what looks like a LIVING ALIEN onto the train? mulder is on the move. the train is taking off. is he gonna play subway surfers irl and try to jump on that thing? yes, he is SPRINTING. but he realizes he cannot outrun a train. 

back to scully cam. she is watching footage. a japanese surgeon is taking off his surgical gear and she recognizes him!! OH MY GOSH SHE RECOGNIZES HIM FROM HER TESTING! NOOOOO!!! NOOOO!

she answers the phone like she wasn’t unpacking horrific information and mulder reports from west virginia. and she points out that she recognizes the doctor… but not from the video tape. NOOOOOOO. realization crosses his face, and i’m sure only adds fuel to his fire to get on that damn train.

so mulder is trying to catch up with the train. a handsome japanese man is being followed by the dude that killed the other guy earlier. AND NO!!!! the killer just killed the handsome japanese man and locked him in the bathroom. then adjusted his hair???

mulder JUST misses the train. perhaps this is for the best?

scully going home. WHY IS X THERE?!?!?!? he’s telling her to tell mulder to get OFF OF THE TRAIN. she rightly is suspicious but he is NOT playing around.

mulder is about to leap on top of the train when he gets the call from scully. and he asks who told her what he was doing and to stop it, and like me, she is also probably realizing she doesn’t know this dude X’s name. 

and he jumps on the train!!! but loses his phone in the process!!!!!

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

WHAT THE HELL.

okay, my yelling aside, THIS is when the show is at its best, imo. THIS is the blueprint for me. character driven. heart of the plot. reveal after reveal but vague enough to keep me wanting more. the government is evil and every conspiracy has more conspiracies. getting to know what is ACTUALLY going on in snippets. skinner is there. this episode truly had it all.

EXCEPT an ending, of course, because now i have to WAIT to watch the next part. SO TRULY DIABOLICAL!

no no, i jest, i can take a cliffhanger most of them time. i just better not have ANY distractions tomorrow. 

whew, so much to unpack. i think there are two things that are sticking out the most to me here: scully’s terror and mulder’s belief.

her not knowing what to believe is true about herself and the world she has studied so carefully, being surrounded by strangers who claim to know her, that know things ABOUT her, and who tell her she is going to die slowly and horribly. how she tears up when she learns this. how she tried so hard to get control over the situation by pivoting to the murder case, only to be denied. how the reigns of control slip from her hands, and it is left to fate. and how horrific that is. how she cannot handle processing what was done to her, but is forced to, by seeing this guy who did unspeakable things to her again. how she says she needs proof. as if she’s biding her time, waiting for a full answer so that the reality of what she has gone through can sink in. if there’s never proof, maybe she’ll never have to process it.

and mulder, who thinks that belief is hard. who has sacrificed so much of his life to belief, put himself in danger countless times to find the truth that everyone around him either denies or ridicules him for. how he has little more than his work, because he needs there to be hope. if belief is terror for scully, to him it is a source of possibility. how they’re both wrapped into the same tragedy with entirely separate takes on what it means and how to proceed but whatever is bringing them together keeps weaving them tighter and tighter. 

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i could scream.

i actually typed all of that, took way more notes than usual, and STILL feel like i’m barely scratching the surface. i feel like i need to give a lecture on this subject matter to even sort of drain the giant well within me of feelings regarding them. his face, how he insists she has to be okay, right? right? and her terror when she admits she doesn’t know.

now. i hate to say it, but i have seen vague spoilers about what happens in the next season, involving illness. and i have a feeling i’m gonna cry like a baby because i’m so messed up just by this. maybe it’s a sensitive topic for me, or maybe i’m just too deeply attached to these nerds and need them to be happy. 

but the depth of my feeling is indicative of how amazing this episode was. it was fast-paced, but not too fast to follow. it explored our character’s hopes and dreams and fears. the dialogue and acting was excellent. how much can be said with just eye contact, and then it breaking, is stunning. i want to know what happens next, and despite my eagerness, i am too disciplined and sleepy to go onto the next episode. 

(i have some thoughts that i need to gather and articulate at a later time regarding the use of unit 731 as a plot point, but they’re still loading, and frankly it would be better to make a post just on that subject once i can figure out how to verbalize them and if i feel that i can confidently tackle the subject matter)

goodnight world, i’m gonna scream. 

[katyspersonal]

Hey so, i kinda am a little confused at how things make more sense now, (referring to the post with tigers) how does it makes sense now?

Okay, this is a reference to this post:

I am cracking up at this meme format every time hdfshsdg I assume you both are referring to the last part and not just anon, since the first one is kinda simple: Marika's reactionary paranoia towards any subspecies that believes they are divine has backstory, former deifying of Crucible was part of her clever plan to screw Hornsent over as soon as she can since they mention her "betrayal" and snakes are seen as traitor of the Erdtree as Messmer and his simps were thrown under the bus blablabla we heard all this

As for Ensha: My friend @val-of-the-north made a better post on the topic here ( x )! I recommend simply reading it, but I will summarise anyway!

So, the gold of the Erdtree and Scadutree are connected as they're two sides of each other, for starters! Ensha's bones are strangely golden too, and they even share the same passive power of slowly healing the wearer as gold of the Erdtree with their stones of tailsmans depicting the Erdtree sap! It is now very likely to suggest that he was a warrior blessed in a similar way, but brought back since he was a king, a very important figure!

The term 'soulless' is otherwise used exclusively for the Demigods that died in the Night of the Black Knives; Godwyn and those who are now buried in Mausoleums and guarded by their headless knights! Ensha is not only called that, but also his "weapon" is a literal skeletal arm latching onto him 🤔 Him having been one of the warriors blessed upon death, but having his death somehow disturbed after Shattering works naturally! Maybe other corpses instinctively crawled towards him because the healing power still lives in him. I also like to think that this golden energy was what deceived D's radar x) Besides, Roundtable Hold welcomes not only Tarnished because Dolores, stated to once have been a part of the Roundtable Hold, wasn't one for example:

Radiant golden eyes are not the thing that happens with Tarnished, with the exception of Anastasia who became monstrous upon eating many people ( x ) Hers are closer to the effect of eating Dragons' hearts on the eyes than grace

(P.S. Mentioned already, but Ensha can't talk and Alberich, who was driven mad by people talking shit about him, coincidentally drops a Tainter's Tongue which is also golden! Alberich was heretical from the Golden Order standpoint, so Ensha's backstory being linked with it would explain speaking not kindly of him.. and paying I guess 💀 )

As for Dung Eater: Apparently, sun-face is connected with the Fell God!

I need a button on my keyboard that just says 'sorry I forgot to copy a screenshot' fdshdfhsd Okay so, I did kinda think that 'the guidance he once saw' was supposed to refer to being called by Grace, especially since Gold has subtle connection with the sunlight. But even back then it didn't make much sense because all Tarnished depicted in the intro were shown to be raised from their deaths by Grace (except for maybe Fia but overall it is complicated how deathbed mechanics works)! And so he already had the sun symbol before:

Besides, according to Boggart, who shared jail with him (weird flex to put a thief together with a serial killer but sure), he was already doing.. whatever he was doing. So I decided I didn't have enough braincells to understand and left it for later, and I was right I guess fhhdfsd

Apparently, Fell God has connection with the horns, so, Crucible! It is like a missing link in why two of Marika's children were born Omens and why Leonine Misbegotten, the ones with red manes, are internally known as 'children of radagon' ( x )! Also, one of the Leonine has Radagon's sword!

Omens also are haunted by Wraiths, who are both fire creatures and have horns:

^ a kind of 'fire' Omens with uncut horns can summon, fire Morgott explodes into upon stage transition, and also Dung Eater can summon wraiths too! The wraiths do respond to the bells of wraith-callers as well!

The nature of these spirits is for another tangent (and yes I do have a guess fdhfds), but yes it seems like that the "guidance" he envisioned was actually about Fell God, and not Grace! His goal is and already was to curse everyone with Omen stuff, whatever is the reason. He might have came in contact with a weird power and decide it was a good goal to pursue, much like Gowry and Shabriri (Flame of the Fell God states that Fell God still lurks even after death). Or maybe he was strangely in contact with the wraiths despite not being an Omen himself, and their own yearning for curse upon everyone descending from Marika rubbed onto him? (could also explain why he feels like he should have been born an Omen) Or maybe he himself just researched a lot, in simple terms, he is Just Like That xD In any case there is finally some extra context to it!

[thecrystalquill]

A/N: Here ya go, Chapter Eight!!!! As always please remember to read the intros etc. I don’t give permission to republish, copy, or use my work elsewhere.

And please like/reblog! I always appreciate it :)

Masterlist     Series Masterlist     Series Intro     Your First Year Hogwarts Letter

Chapter Eight ~ Academic Chess

The first class of the day, according to her schedule, was Transfiguration; taught by the same professor who first greeted them the night before.

The morning had been a bit strange; where she was used to waking to the sound of seagulls and screaming, she was now awakened by the other girls in her dorm rummaging about to get ready. She’d never had to share a room before, and certainly not with so many people. Her roommates seemed nice… a little strange but who was she to judge? As she’d unpacked her bone collection and trinkets to place on her shelf, they’d unpacked magazines and scented candles, and given her funny looks as she placed her giant new journal on her desk. But so far they had yet to curse her name or scurry away in fear – in fact, they even introduced themselves. Saoirse Speck was the first to greet her, an Irish girl from Cork; she was a little odd herself, with absolutely no filter before she spoke and always seemed to have her head in the clouds. Another was Millicent Bullstrode, she had a round face and always seemed to be frowning just a little. Millicent looked the most nervous out of them to meet her, but shook her hand anyway. The third girl was Bridget Byrne, a pureblood from Windermere, a little rude but still more tolerable than some. They invited her to sit with them for breakfast, (Y/N) could see the reluctance but agreed nonetheless.

Finding their way to Transfiguration could have been easier – there was no map provided for students and there weren’t any signs about the castle – but eventually, after many stops to ask for directions, they made it in time.

The classroom was located on the east lower floor of the castle, just up a flight of stone stairs. It was a magnificent room, (Y/N) thought, every part of the great castle was. Stone arches decorated the walls, great windows curving up to the ceiling let in so much light that no candles even had to be lit, and the rows of wooden desks were all set for them to start. She was terribly excited – not that anyone could tell.

“Good morning, class.” Greeted the professor when everyone was seated. (Y/N) could have sworn she wasn’t there a moment ago. “Welcome to your first lesson of the year. For anyone who may not remember, I am Deputy Headmistress McGonnagal – head of Gryffindor house and your professor. I am glad to see you all on time.” She paused and looked at each face in the room. “Well, most of you. It seems we have a few missing students. But never mind for now.”

The professor moved to stand by her desk, gesturing to the chalkboard she had prepared in advance. “I trust by now that you’ve all had plenty enough time to revise your copies of A Beginner’s Guide to Transfiguration and are already informed of the contents of its first chapter, if you’ll all please open them up.”

Everyone did as she asked, and Saoirse sucked in a breath. (Y/N) looked to her side to see that her roommate had forgotten her textbook, and on the first day too. She rolled her eyes before placing her own copy between them in a silent signal to share, ignoring the grateful look the girl sent.

“Today we will be learning about the Transfiguration Alphabet, something I expect you all to be fluent in before the end of term...” The professor began her lecture as everyone started to take notes on the scrolls provided. As the chalk began to write on the board various symbols and their meanings, which they had to copy, the room soon fell into concentrated silence, and the next time (Y/N) looked up, there was no sign of the professor but a cat on her desk. But still, she busied herself with her notes:

Monday 2nd September, 1991

Class Rules:

No food or beverages in class

No silly behaviour

Be professional

Pay attention and ask questions

Note: there will be a 10 question quiz after each week.                                                                              

Introduction to Transfiguration

Transfiguration is the most sciantific scientific branch of magic. It is the defined art of changing the form of an object or being into a different form. Forms: Transformation, Conjuration, Vanishing, and Untransformation. It is a very dangerous form of magic and easy to mess up. When you are working with the molecules of an object you are changing its basic princaple principles.

There is a strict and systematic approach to incantations and wand movements. Take care to be precise.

Transfiguration Alphabet:                                                            

A – O

B – θ

C –  

(Y/N)’s notes were cut short as the great wooden door to the classroom burst open. The class turned as two boys in Gryffindor robes scurried in, panting. Ron whispered something to Harry that she couldn’t quite make out, then the cat jumped off the desk and suddenly revealed itself to be their professor. Oh that explains it, thought (Y/N), as if her teacher being a cat explained anything really.

When the boys finally found a desk to share, just behind (Y/N) and Saoirse, they let out a breath and hurried to take notes. (Y/N) turned, despite knowing she shouldn’t, to face them. “Don’t worry too much,” she said, though her face was unreadable her words were clearly meant for comfort, “you’re not that late. I can lend you my notes later if you like.”

The boys shared a glance. “No thanks,” said Ron, his eyes lingering on the Slytherin emblem on her robe, “we’re fine.”

(Y/N) frowned a little, studying their faces for a second, both looked a little unsure, but she turned back to the front of the room and brushed it off.

When everyone arrived and settled into Potions, (Y/N) was surprised to find that their professor was not present. Wasn’t he supposed to greet them on entrance?

Whispers and gossiping travelled about the room; some were about her, most were about Harry. (Y/N) was never truly one for gossip – if someone had something to say they could say it to her face, ask her directly; and she felt the same as they took glances at Harry and he kept his head down, hair covering his scar. Supposedly no one had yet learned their manners.

Suddenly, the doors slammed open and the noise bounced off the stone walls, rattling the glass jars on the shelves, and in came a tall, dark-haired man dressed all in black. Briskly walking between the tables and to his desk at the forefront of the dark room. Anyone would think the classroom floor was his stage. “There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class.” He announced in a drab voice.

Ah, thought (Y/N), he just wanted to make a dramatic entrance.

“As such, I don’t expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion making. However, for those select few…” the professor glanced at the rude Malfoy boy from the previous day, “who possess the predisposition-” hang on, does he know that boy? Is he implying he’s already had lessons over the summer? That’s cheating. “-I can teach you to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper... in death.” Very dramatic, should she be taking notes on dramatic flare?

Before she could think about picking up her goose-feather quill, she heard the scratching of someone else’s to her right. Near the edge of the row beside her, Harry sat writing on his parchment, gaining Snape’s attention. “Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confident enough to not… pay attention.” The girl beside Harry gave him a quick nudge, making him look up in time to see the stoic professor make his way to him. “Mr. Potter. Our new… celebrity.” He mocked, which was really not very professional behaviour from a teacher. “Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?”

The girl beside him eagerly raised her hand, but Harry only shrugged and shrunk back in embarrassment.

The potions master took no notice, only taking the opportunity to humiliate the boy further. “You don’t know? Well, let’s try again. Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar?”

Harry gulped and shifted his eyes to the girl beside him. “I don’t know, sir.” He replied. Of course he didn’t, it was only their first day, after all.

“And what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?” (Y/N) knew the answer to that one, it was easy, and so did the bushy-haired girl raising her hand, it seemed.

But poor Harry was struggling for an answer. “I don’t know, sir.”

Snape pursed his lips, a couple of students snickered at the humiliation; most just seemed uncomfortable or afraid. “Pity. Clearly fame isn’t everything… is it, Mr. Potter?”

What was his motive in all this silly bullying? (Y/N) couldn’t help but wonder. But the sight of Harry – the first person to chat with her on that train as if they were already friends, as if she were more than just a dark, mysterious rumour – sat there flushed and feeling small and… stupid even, she just couldn’t stand the injustice. Before she could even think twice about her actions, her mouth moved of its own accord. “To be fair to him, professor,” she interjected, drawing all eyes her way, “it is only our first day. We can’t all be expected to know our textbooks by heart.”

The man turned to her, standing tall and menacing with a glare that surely would have made any other student quiver in their seats – but (Y/N) Addams had seen far scarier sights than a greasy, middle-aged man who bullied children, and she was far braver than she looked. A family proverb echoed in her mind, one that had been drummed into her and her siblings for years: A sharp mind makes you the most dangerous in the room, a sharp knife makes you the most deadly.

An Addams speaks their mind. Always. And right now, her mind was saying that Professor Snape would be a worthy enemy if he wished it. She also had the potential to be one of his best students, if he allowed it. If Snape had a problem with that… well, hence the second part of the proverb.

“Miss Addams…” Snape drawled, taking slow steps towards her, as if he fancied himself a predator stalking prey. But an Addams was never prey. “I should have known you’d be trouble. If you’re so keen to interrupt Mr. Potter’s questioning, you’ll be more than capable of answering for him.”

He was challenging her, obviously, but even if she got some answers wrong, it wouldn’t stop her from accepting. She held her head high and met his stare with a seemingly innocent one of her own. “I might.”

Snape seemed all the more irritated. “Monkshood and wolfsbane--”

“Are the same plant, also known as aconite.” (Y/N) answered immediately, it was easy – she grew it herself in the family’s poison garden. “Named because it used to be made into a paste and dipped on arrowheads for wolf hunting, since its highly poisonous. Would you like me to tell you about some murder cases involving it?” Some of her favourite murders involved poisons, it would take her all day to recite them all.

Academic battles were much like chess, and (Y/N) just made her first move.

The professor gritted his teeth. “A bezoar can be found where?”

(Y/N) thought for a moment, knowing for sure it was in her copy of Magical Drafts and Potions. “I believe it can be found in the stomach of a goat, sir.”

The flash of both anger and impression on the professor’s face made this all the more fun. “And what, Miss Addams, would you get by combining powdered root of asphodel with an infusion of wormwood?”

(Y/N) didn’t know the exact answer, but she knew enough to show him up a little. “I don’t know, sir.” She said, waiting for the look of self-satisfaction to cross his face, and when it did, she interrupted any jab he wanted to throw. “But given that asphodel is part of the lily family and therefore poisonous, I’m going to assume it makes some sort of poison – which I wouldn’t know the name of because we aren’t meant to study those until later in our curriculum.”

She was correct, of course, which irritated him all the more. And lucky for her, Snape was head of Slytherin House; he wouldn’t take points away from her for being correct in his class, would he? “You are lucky, Miss Addams, that I am willing to overlook your cheek. The next time you have something to say... you will raise your hand.” He sneered, turning with a swish of his robes and returning to his desk, eyeing the class. “Well? Why aren’t you copying this down?”

Check-mate.  

Lunch wasn’t much unlike dinner the night before; just as excitable, just as loud. The only difference being that (Y/N) was no longer sat alone. Though she now had company, she still felt a separation from the students around her. As Rumi once said: “even surrounded by people, like water and oil, he remains apart”. That was how she felt at Hogwarts; not quite fitting in, away from home and her norms. She couldn’t wait for the end of term and it was only her first day.

Moments later, a commotion began within the Great Hall. “The mail’s here!” She heard from across the room, seeing a few students stand as a great swarm of owls flew into the room… or in all technicality, a parliament of them.

Various parcels, letters, and papers were being dropped all around onto the tables, owls landing near their owners to accept treats or steal pieces of their dinners. “Are you expecting anything, (Y/N)?” Saoirse asked from beside her, opening up a letter and feeding her barn owl a piece of chicken. Was that cannibalism? Maybe…

“Well I’m sure my family have sent something--” She was interrupted by startled shrieks around her, all looking up to see another bird enter the Hall. It was easily twice the size of many of the owls swooping out of its way, a wingspan that sent a woosh of air as it passed, and in its long talons was a parcel with a letter attached. It dropped it in her lap before landing on the table with a graceful flap of its brown wings, head hung low to greet her. “Mortis.” She greeted, tearing up a piece of pork in exchange for its delivery.

“I-is that a vulture?” Bridget cried, eyes wide with fear as the bird in question began to tear apart a full roast chicken.

“Yes.” (Y/N) simply answered, ignoring the stares and chattering as she opened up her parcel. A small box wrapped in brown paper and black string, sealed on the top with the black wax of the family crest; inside was a black quill, a pot of red ink, some more parchment paper, a silver letter-opener sharp enough to perform an autopsy, and a box of matches. She just couldn’t wait to light something with them. The letter was in a charcoal grey envelope, the seal was a rich black, and the crest had been coloured in white – doubtlessly Wednesday’s touch, almost perfect. Taking out the new letter-opener, handle shaped like a dragon’s neck, its fierce head roaring at the end, she swiftly cut open the envelope and took out its contents. She knew from the second she opened the letter that Wednesday had written it; her father would have been writing every word that came into his unorganised mind, and her mother’s nails were far too pristine to stain.

Dear (Y/N),

We hope that your first days at Hogwarts have been interesting thus far. Father wishes to know which house you have been sorted into, obviously (you should know that there is a bet in place, and I sincerely hope you haven’t lost me my pocket money). Mother asks if you have made any friends or enemies yet. I, personally, should hope that you prioritise the latter.

You did pack a camera, didn’t you? We want to see what everything looks like. If not, please inform us in your reply and we will send one over. Mother and Father also want to know if you would like Thing to accompany you while you settle in.

We are very interested to know about your classes and professors, will you be learning how to turn anyone into toads soon? Pugsley has already broken our new guillotine and I think spending a few days as an amphibian would be a worthy punishment. But for now I have tied him up and put him in his closet with his mouth taped shut.

Pugsley and Father are going fishing tomorrow – they feel that they are in need of a distraction while they get used to your absence. I, however, hope you stay there as long as possible. In fact, next time you should take Pugsley with you and it might finally be quieter around here.

Grandmama wants to remind you to practice your knife throwing, as it would be “unbecoming” of you to be a sloppy thrower by the time you return.

We expect your reply to arrive soon. Make sure Mortis is well-fed before you send him back, or he might eat one of the carrier owls he is let loose near. Wouldn’t that be funny?

Awaiting your reply,

Your family.

She couldn’t wait to write back.

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And pleease like my other chapters 🩷they take me weeks to write

[sapphim]

so about fiveeeee years ago? I got this idea into my head that I could replace the unnamed hunter in Merrill's intro with Fenarel to restore some of this cut ambient dialogue about Mahariel and Tamlen which. did not work in the slightest. but just tonight it occurred to me that I could use anshela's new audio tutorial to fix the issue where ambient dialogue won't play in cutscenes, by copying those lines to a new soundbank 🥳 (sorry merrill)

Fenarel: Why are you doing this?

Merrill: Fenarel… I've explained before.

Fenarel: No, you haven't. You wring your hands and stammer and declare that nobody understands what you're doing.

Fenarel: You've spit on Tamlen's memory. On Mahariel's.

Fenarel: If you're wise, you'll stay far away from Merrill. No sane person would touch what she's taken up.

Bethany: So… this is awkward. Anyone else think this is awkward? How about we move along?

Fenarel: You can't bring her back, Merrill. Just accept it.

Merrill: Don't bury Mahariel yet! We don't know for certain…

Fenarel: Still lying to yourself… Just go.

Merrill: I… never mind. There's no use in discussing this.

Merrill: I have made my choice. And I will save our clan, whatever you think.

Hawke: Sundermount seems very… mountainous today, doesn't it? Lots of… rock. And hillside.

Merrill: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to— Let's go. We should hurry.

[lovingseventeen]

dino saying “i love you” for the first time

a/n: got so excited when i thought of this that it got too long to be part of an ot13 post LOL 

back to the event! 

it came out of him while he was so happy and full of laughter. for your one month anniversary, you decided to surprise him with a dance cover of “crush.” while you were not nearly as talented a dancer as your boyfriend, you did put in quite the effort to memorize up until the first chorus.

you had the help of some of the other members to reserve a dance room along with setting up the audio system and lights. after a day of work, he knew he had to meet you, so he was hesitant to hang around the company building (he wanted to leave ASAP). he was not expecting his members to bring him to a room to find you in it. of course, they all left you two alone to have your moment.

you were dressed up in leather pants, a red crop top, a leather jacket, and heeled ankle boots, hot as ever he had to admit, and you pointed at a chair for him to sit in. on the the chair, was a remote for him to hit play and oh, was he not ready for what you had prepared. he recognizes the intro immediately and he can’t fight the grin that makes its way onto his face.

you start powerfully, with the “you’re my crush, i got a crush on you,” winking at him as you move swiftly. he swears his heart skips a beat and he really does feel like a fan. your body moves confidently as every dance step has become muscle memory after weeks of practicing.

dino laughs and cheers when you take off your jacket (an added step) during the “i don’t know what to do, tell me what i gotta do.” you’re hitting the marks accurately and he’s in awe because he’s never seen you perform anything. he feels tremendously special that it’s for him. he also can’t help but whoop when you copy how he moves during his lines, and especially when you do a very sexy body roll.

the end of the chorus is approaching and you really put all of your energy into this minute and a half of dancing- more than you ever have during your weeks of practice. so you’re internally reminding yourself to finish strong.

you finish with your chest heaving, but holding your pose the same way they do for their ending fairies- as if you aren’t tired. chan already got up from his seat, hands excited with applause.

his smile is so wide and his eyes are so bright as he approaches you, finally making you break your pose. “that was amazing!” 

his hands make their way to your arms, holding onto you. “can’t believe you learned all of that.” he’s still grinning so hard he can’t believe what he just witnessed. 

“well what can i say?” you reply, right before hitting the chorus again with just your voice, “chan, you’re my crush, i got a crush on you~” and now you’re both laughing. you look beautiful as you laugh and chan has never felt so sure about anyone in his life.

“i love you” he blurts out, and for a moment, time stops as his words settle :’)

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