#did I put all my eggs in one basket?

[platosarse]

Got a meeting with my tutor this afternoon to discuss my idea for the second essay. Let’s pray that it’s viable, because I’ve already done a lot of research and note-taking on this topic.

[samwisefamgee]

haven't done anything on Sunday for the past two fucking months because a friend has made plans for all of us then canceled them the day of or before every. fucking. time.

[why4anne]

Juno

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Pop star Y/N L/N cannot behave herself on social media. But who can blame her when her boyfriend looks like that?

Face claim: Sabrina Carpenter

Masterlist

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, taylorswift and others

yourusername: Just a little something I wrote recently🤭

Juno out tonight 8pm EST

view comments:

user1: Girlie is finally releasing music again?? Album when???

user2: Pop is back!

user3: you'll find me SCREAMING

user4: Juno?? Like the goddess of love and marriage..?

- user5: Wait! You're onto something!!!!

- user6: y'all what if she means the movie

- user7: what movie?

- user6: Dang, you're making me feel old

taylorswift: They're not ready for it

- user8: TAYLOR????? HELLOOOO??

- user9: REP TV REFERENCE!!!

- user10: easter egg??!!!

- user 11: girl that's a whole easter basket

joeyb_9: nice dress

- user12: excuse me? sir?

- user13: I just know they're up to something

lahjay10_: Joe has not stopped smiling all morning practice

- user14: It's about him then???

- user15: He's giggling and kicking his feet I just know it

user16: Joe can you fight??

- joeyb_9: yes I can

- user16: oop- I was not expecting that

- user17: he gagged you fr

user18: I don't know if I wanna be her, or be with her

- user19: the struggle is real

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, zendaya and others

yourusername: oops... wrong pic🤭 Juno out now btw

view comments:

user1: you're this thirsty on main????!!!!

user2: girl calm down

user3: NOW THATS WHAT I CALL AN OVULATION SONG

user4: I'm actually speechless after listening to this...

- user5: No becuase WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARK YOUR TERRITORY???!!

user5: hold me and explore me??? GIRL!

user6: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONTROL MY GIRL Y/N

- user7: we need to spay her frfr

user8: tf you mean freaky positions???

user9: I mean, have you seen her man??? I don't blame her

- user10: The only pop-girlie with a hot boyfriend I fear

- user11: Louis Partridge exists yk

user12: I was gonna say you swan🦢 he frog🐸 but I fear can't

user13: how are you able to look your parents in the eyes after this girl???

user14: She and Joe be freaky like that ig

joeyb_9: I feel honored

- user15: YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!!

- user16: did not expect this when I woke up this morning

- user17: Joe, are you well???

user18: I always knew they were freaky

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, milliebobbybrown and others

yourusername: One of me is cute, but two though?

Surprise! Double whammy you guys 34+35 out now!

view comments:

user1: SHE'S INSANE!

user2: nah what do you mean 34+35??? you freakyyyyy!!!

user3: tf you mean "got the neighbors yelling earthquake"????

user4: What kind of freak-juice do they put in the water in Cincinnati?

user5: Let me breath, damn. I haven't even recovered from Juno yet

joeyb_9: I can make sure that there is two of you by this time next year

- yourusername: I just might let you🤭

- lahjay10_: BRING BACK SHAME!!!!

- jjettas2: NORMALIZE BULLYING!!!

- user6: Ja'marr?? Justin?? hello???

- user7: I stand with Justin and Ja'marr because writing this on main is CRAZY

- user8: WE NEED TO PUT BOTH JOE AND Y/N IN HORNY JAIL!

user9: That's enough screen time for you missy

user10: THESE LYRICS ARE CRAZYYYY

- user11: They're not even trying to be subtle

user12: Didn't Joe say in one interview that he goes to bed by like 8pm. Tf you mean "we started at midnight, go 'til the sunrise"??

- user13: One of them is lying and I think it's the blonde one

- user14: both of them are blonde

- user13: @/youmissedthejoke

user15: yall are acting like this is sum crazy shit but if I had a boyfriend who looked like that I would be acting WAYYYY worse

- user16: FR! Like if I looked like Y/N and my bf looked like Joe, you would not be catching us leaving the house

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, alix_earle and others

yourusername: Have you ever tried this one?

view comments:

user1: Ma'am there are kids on this app

joeyb_9: yeah we did it last night, remember?

- yourusername: no, can you remind me😇

- lahjay10_: EW EW EW EW EW

- lahjay10_: THAT'S ENOUGH!

- lahjay10_: I NEED BLEACH FOR MY EYES

- lahjay10_: I'M TELLING MANAGEMENT!!

- lahjay10_: THIS IS AN HR ISSUE

- user2: is Ja'marr okay?

- user3: He's crashing out

- user4: bro is tweaking

user5: we can try it out if you want to🤭

- joeyb_9: She's busy

- user6: we need lock him up or something

- yourusername: would handcuffs suffice?

- user7: EXCUSE ME!!???

- user8: Girl this is a public comment section!

- user9: Saying that on Beyonce's internet is CRAZY

user10: looked at myself and sighed

user11: girl, who is in charge of your social media??

user12: we need to lobotomize her or something

lahjay10_:

liked by teehiggins, andreiiosivas and others

lahjay10_: The trenches look a little different when you in the inside of the Spectre.

view comments:

user1: #unblocky/n

user2: #unblocky/n

user3: #unblocky/n

user4: #unblocky/n

joeyb_9: #unblocky/n

- user5: help- not Joe joining us

- user6: y/n is this you?

- joeyb_9: Nope, this is actually Joe

- user7: I can't with this man😭

lahjay10_: aight what the hell is going on?

- user8: #unblocky/n

- user9: #unblocky/n

yourusername: I'VE BEEN UNBLOCKED!!🥳

- user10: welcome back queen

- lahjay10_: hope you happy now

- yourusername: the happiest😁

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, andreiiosivas and others

yourusername: AAAAAAAHHHH! JOE BURROW PLEASE PUSH ME UP A WALL AND THROW ME ACROSS THE ROOM! I wanna climb this man like a tree. I wanna gnaw on his biceps like a beaver and I wanna scratch his back like a goddamn feral cat!

view comments:

user1: is she okay?

user2: I can just tell that she's ovulating

user3: well you can actually do that if you want to #wearenotthesame

user4: on main is CRAZY

user5: I didn't realize this was Y/N's account, deadass thought it was a horny fan-account💀

joeyb_9: That can be arranged

- user6: He's so nonchalant with it😭

- user7: I know I should be used to this by now but at the same time his comments never fails to flabbergast me

- user8: Remember when we used to have shame?

- jjettas2: pause.

user9: Yall are calling her crazy but she's so real for this

user10: I can't with this girl💀

andreiiosivas: are you okay?

- user11: Help not Andrei lowkey being concerned😭

- user12: She just ovulating, don't worry

[This post has been deleted]

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_ and others

yourusername: Juno is now number one on the Billboard hot 100! Thank you so much to everyone who streamed🩵

view comments:

user1: this caption does not sound like my girl Y/N

user2: where is crazy Y/N?

user3: did you get your social media hacked or sum?

user4: I think her team took her social media away😭

- user5: yeah cuz her last (extremely unhinged) post was deleted too

- user6: Noooooo! I lived for Y/N's posts

- user7: me too girl😔

user8: I'll miss you diva💜

user9: #wewanty/n

- user10: #wewanty/n

- user11: #wewanty/n

- user12: #wewanty/n

user13: congratulations, but please give my girl back her account

user14: The biggest sign that this isn't Y/N is that Joe didn't comment

- user15: fr! he always comments on her posts

- user16: he's silent protesting💀

lahjay10_: I can finally scroll on instagram without getting a jumpscare🙏 I used to pray for times like this!

- user17: Ja'Marr😭

- user18: Bro rejoicing💀

joeyb_9:

liked by lahjay10_, sam_hubbard_ and others

joeyb_9: Since someone got her social media privileges taken away, I had to be the one to post this photo of her because she said: "I look cute in this photo, the world deserves to witness it"

view comments:

user1: get yourself a man who posts you on his instagram when you can't!

user2: she was right, I had to witness this🙂‍↕️

user3: mother is mothering!!!

lahjay10_: you down bad bro

- joeyb_9: and?

- user4: THAT'S A MAN!

- user5: I swear my pants were JUST on

jjettas2: what happened to the social media break?

- joeyb_9: boyfriend duties called

- user6: When he breaks his social media break for you>>

user7: Thank you for blessing us like this🙏

user8: I am straight, I am straight, I am straight

user9: Joe is so lucky😔

- user10: He gets to wake up to this everyday😫

- joeyb_9: It's a pretty sweet sight ngl

- user 11: STOP😭

- user12: bro be reading all the comments

- joeyb_9: gotta make sure only nice things are said

- user13: stop that's so cute🥹

One year later:

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, jjettas2 and others

yourusername: I let him make me Juno

view comments:

joeyb_9: Prettiest mommy in the whole world ❤️

user1: OMG I AM TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT!

user2: mother is a real mother???

user3: Those unhinged posts actually led to this???

user4: CONGRATS!!!!

jjettas2: Congratulations you two! So happy for you!

teehiggins: QB loading...

lahjay10_: Blessed to be baby Burrow's uncle🙏

sam_hubbard_: Congratulations!❤️

andraiiosivas: The best parents!

user5: when mama y papa actually become mama y papa🥲

[wisteria-html]

If you don’t ever try you’re right. You’re not capable of making it better. But you need to know that people would take you back. It would take time and you not running at the first easy opportunity, but you had people who loved you. Me, Birdie, Chris. Some will be easier to forgive than others (I think Birdie would forgive you now if you came back. I’m not sure I ever can). But this is a self fulfilling prophecy. “I make everything worse” is a lie. You saved me, you helped Birdie, you helped Chris. But right now, sitting idle in a bog, things will NEVER CHANGE. You will not have forgiveness and love without earning it.

For someone who resents people leaving him behind and not choosing him so much you sure ran off and abandoned the people who loved you at the first opportunity huh. Birdie put it best, the choices you made out of fear certainly hurt people. It’s unfair for you to keep going after Chris for leaving when he did something you did not: come back. I’m still angry and for that I’m sorry. I’m sorry my tone is harsher than I think you’ve ever heard from me. But you deactivated before I could ever see your goodbye. I’m sorry people didn’t choose you, didn’t choose to stay with you. But you’re perpetuating that cycle too.

And what would Chris do after ccoming back? leave me to go die again. IIt always happens eventually. they always leavve and they always die, be it the first or the tenth time they go. Birdie said it best, I put her on this path, I ruined everything. Why should I sti ck around? to make everything worse? I'm not capable ofmaking it bett er.

[hsangel64]

˙✧˖°🦊 ༘ ⋆｡˚ farmhouse lovin’ ˙✧˖°🦊 ༘ ⋆｡˚

pairings: farmhouse!ellie x fem!reader (domestic)

synopsis: a day in the life of you and ellie at your beloved farmhouse

warnings: nothing just some cursing and a little bit of friskiness- also shimmer never dies and so does joel-

a/n: tooth rotting fluff! i have so many ideas written down so get ready for some content!!

the morning rays hit your face and the cold chill of the morning air wakes you up. you turn over to see ellie still fast asleep, her light snores filling the air and making you smile. you slowly get out of bed and throw your robe on feeling chilly from sleeping in basically nothing. you kiss and pet your guys dog, lady, she usually joins you in the morning. you make your way downstairs and start your morning routine, every morning you’ll usually be the first awake and you go put your boots on to go let all your guys animals out. starting with the chickens, grabbing your usual basket to grab the eggs that you happen to find from the night before.

“what do we have here ladies?” you mumbled as you went into the coop and checked in their little cubbies. you were successful with about 15 eggs, thanking the girls and making your way to the other animals. you opened the barn door walking to the horses first.

“good morning miss shimmer and good morning to you too silver.” you greeted them with some pets to the head and went and grabbed their feed. feeding them and then grabbing the hose to poor some fresh water in their buckets. once finished with that you head over to the sheep and let them out of the barn. you went back into the house with lady and headed to the kitchen, starting to clean the eggs. grabbing all the things to feed lady, you start on that. you heard footsteps coming down the stairs, turning around you see ellie coming down the stairs rubbing her eyes of sleep.

“hey pretty lady.” she said as she walked over to you and grabbed your waist from behind.

“good morning honey.” you giggled as she started swaying side to side, kissing down your neck. getting that butterfly like feeling in your stomach.

“how long you been up?”

“just about an hour at most.” she nodded and kept her head in the crevice of your neck. you both stayed like that for what felt like forever, not wanting to move from each other. the warmth of your bodies bringing you comfort.

“have you done everything already?”

“mhm, got 15 eggs today so we can use those for breakfast!” ellie finally pulled away and grabbed the dog bowl from you to give to lady.

“what did you want to have?”

“well we can do simple bacon and eggs because joel brought us that bacon earlier this week. i also have some stuff for french toast. honestly its up to you!”

“lets do some french toast, we can still use that bacon and have it on the side. so we can let joel know how it was!” you agreed and started to grab what you would need. walking into the living room you started up a record so you had some music in the background. the best thing about living here was you could be as loud as you want.

“what record for today?” you yelled into the kitchen.

“how about some queen!” you nodded and out the record on. walking back to the kitchen you got started on the french toast.

“hey i was thinking we go for a little right today maybe visit jackson, joel usually has something for us.”

“yeah that sounds perfect it’s the one day this spring that we haven’t had rain.” as you were at the stove starting up some french toast and ellie pulled you away.

“lets dance baby.” you giggled at her as she grabbed your hands to put them around her neck and placed her hands at your waist. you felt lady jump up on you guys.

“oooo miss lady wants to dance too.” ellie bent down to give her kisses all over.

“you are such a good girl aren’t you.” ellie said in a cute little baby voice and she barked in response. standing back up putting her hands around you again.

“i love you, so so much my love.” your face turning read at the love and pet name.

“i love you more.”

“oh but i love you most.” you both shared a laugh and she started to kiss all over your face.

“ellie ellie i need to get to the food, its gonna burn.” giggling the whole time, she pulled away and let go of you, going back to her job. you both cooked in a comfortable silence with the music playing, every so often sharing kisses and teasing touches.

you had finished cooking and plated everything so nicely, sitting on the couch and turning on the tv. you guys had found a bunch of dvd’s at this old movie store and had been hooked on this show series you two found called friends, so you put that on to watch a couple of episodes while you eat. lady came and sat on the floor in between you begging for food like always. cutting the first little piece of french toast and cheersing.

“first bite!” you both said and both let out an ‘mmm’ at how good the food tasted.

“holy shit this is so good babe!” she yelled and kissed your cheek. you giggled at her excitement over the food, that was the way to her heart. you watched two episodes before finishing and going to wash the dishes.

“you know i am on rachel’s side she should be mad, ross was an ashole for that.”

“we were on a break, my ass! typical man.” you finished the dishes and made your way upstairs to find ellie already dressed in a brown flannel and some jeans.

“well hello there sexy, you single?” you walked into your shared room and walked over to ellie.

“no no i have a beautiful girlfriend.” you laughed at her giving you the hand and shooing you away.

“i’ve trained you well.” ellie laughed and walked past you slapping your butt which leads you to let out a small scream and a hey. you heard her footsteps pick up indicating she ran and you just shook your head. making your way to the closet and grabbing some short considering it wasn’t too cold today you took it as a sign. throwing on those and a cute matching flannel to ellie, you walked to the bathroom to do your hair. on a patrol you guys found a hair salon and found working hair tools and snatched them right up. you and ellie had a ‘his and her’ sink, getting lucky with that. taking your spot next to her to straighten your hair, it took some time to get it to work but thanks to joel and tommy they got the electricity to work.

you both finished getting ready, making your way downstairs and putting your shoes on. you grabbed lady’s harness to put on her, you usually let her roam without a leash so the harness is just for more protection.

“come here girly, harness time.” she came to you and got into position knowing she was going on an adventure. you guys had found her when she was a puppy, someone in jackson was giving away some puppies that their dog had just given birth to and lady was one of them. you were able to train her to know to kill bad people and she had been a great edition to your little family.

“hey you got everything?”

“yup all good!.” both grabbing your bags and heading out to the animals. lady came with you guys to herd the sheep back into the barn.

“good job girl go get em’” you patted her and sent her on her way. watching her as she herds the sheep inside ellie walks over to the chicken coop and lets the girls back inside. you walked over and grabbed your horses to get going. usually the way to jackson was only a 30 min hike and the patrol kept the trail pretty empty so it’ll be a nice relaxed ride over. you two get on your horses and are on your way. the feeling of the chilled breeze on your skin sends shivers, making you grab your cardigan from your bag to cover yourself.

“i could never get over the view.” you heard ellie say from behind you and you nodded your head at the comment.

“me neither its too good every time.”

“oh no that view, this one.” you turn confused and see her staring at you. your face turning red at the eyes on you.

“oh shut it.”

“never!!” ellie yells as she passes you. rolling your eyes you follow behind.

———————————————————————————

you see the gate to jackson and signal to the people at the watch that it’s you and ellie. they open the gate and you guys make your ways inside. you both say hello to everyone on the way to the stables.

“hey guys, visiting for the day?” the woman, angie who runs the stables, said and pulled silver into the barn.

“yeah it felt like a good day to do so get ourselves out the house for a little!.” she nodded and you walked out the barn to meet with ellie.

“hey baby.” she kissed you on your cheek and you both made your way our of the stables. lady already made herself at home getting all the lovin’ from dina.

“hey d!” you yelled over at her and caught her attention.

“hey guys, what are you you two doing here today?” she said getting up and hugging you both.

“just visiting, wanting to drop in and see if joel had anything for us, maybe catch a drink.”

“awesome! jesse is actually waiting for me we’ve got patrol unfortunately but we should see you guys before you head out.”

“awe no fun.”

“i know but i can’t miss more maria will kill me….” you said your goodbyes and started the walk to joel’s. walking through jackson makes you forget the world around you, saying your hellos to everyone you pass by, taking a second to play with some of the kids and just overall catching up with everything. you finally appreciate being alive again, having people who love and care about you and a cozy home that you had always wanted. it helps with the horrors that are away from jackson.

finding joel’s house you both make it up the steps and knock on the door. there’s a second before you hear footsteps and the barking of joel’s dog, aka lady’s boyfriend, chuck. the door opens and lady immediately runs inside to say hello.

“woah lady, hi there pretty lady.”

“hey kiddo, oh and ellie.” you cackled as he came and hugged you.

“yeah yeah i get it you like my girlfriend more than me.”

“oh shush silly come here.” he said and pulled ellie in for a hug.

“what are you kiddos doing here, just visiting?”

“yeah we figured since its so nice to come see everyone.”

“well good thing you did i’ve got some stuff for you guys i picked up earlier this week.” he got up from his chair to grab what he got.

“see i told you.” ellie whispered to you and you both chuckled at joel always having something for you guys. he came back in the room with a basket full of stuff.

“so i harvested some stuff finally and wanted to give you guys some of it, i’ve got some strawberries, apples, bell peppers, green onions, and some of those avocados you guys like. i went and did some huntin’ as well and got some good venison meat, and then maria made you folks some meatballs for pasta. i made some cool shelves for your bathroom under the stairs, y/n mentioned you guys needed some.”

“thank you so much joel thats so thoughtful.” you thanked him for doing what he does for you guys. he started to garden because you have a small garden behind the house and asked if you could teach him. you taught him all he knows now and you’re so happy to see he’s harvesting now.

“i can help you folks bring the shelves if you’d like so you can carry whatever else you get.”

“we would appreciate that, thanks joel.”

“its no problem kiddo.” you all smiled at each other and ended up getting caught up in conversation again. catching up with each other you guys ended up at the food hall with tommy and maria having some lunch.

“we wanted to host a dinner with everyone at the farmhouse soon, after we get some more stuff decorated.”

“that would be wonderful we haven’t had a good family dinner in a bit.” you smiled at joel being excited for a family dinner with everyone. his hard exterior was slowly coming off and he was just a big ole teddy bear. it was cute.

“hey were having a festival soon, ill let y’all know the date so y’all can come down and spend it with us.”

“yeah we found some fun stands at the warehouse down south that would be perfect for carnival games.” tommy nodded at maria staring at her with the most loving look.

“well that sounds very exciting, we will definitely be there. let us know if there’s anything we can do to help!”

“well we could use your paintin’ skills ellie.” joel pointed at her and winked.

“sounds great, i’ve been wanting a small project.”

“perfect why don’t you guys come back in two days and we can get started.” tommy proposed and you both agreed excited for a new project. you all chatted and finished eating. maria had some stuff for you guys, just some essentials like bread and some soap.

you guys were at the tipsy bison now with everyone. you started to get really sleepy, feeling the adventure of the day hitting you hard and the alcohol hitting harder.

“hey els, im feeling sleepy.” you placed your head on her shoulder resting your eyes.

“okay do you want to start heading back?”

“yes please.”

“okay baby let me let joel know so we can head out.” she kissed your head and made her way to the bar where joel was. the feeling of dina’s hand rubbing your back was lulling you to sleep. dina was always super affectionate with you all, always has a hand on you. she was like a sister to you, it brought you comfort. ellie came back and pulled you up into her arms.

“hey baby we gotta go, gotta get on the horse now.” you didn’t realize she had carried you all the way to the stables, you had been set down and you just really felt so tired. stretching your body out trying to wake yourself up.

“tommy’s gonna come as well to bring the rest of the stuff and so joel has someone when they come back.” you nodded at her and said your goodbyes to everyone. you had the best day with the people you are glad to call family.

———————————————————————————

you had made it home safely, the cold wind hitting your face the whole time was the only thing keeping you awake. you guys rode the horses into the barn and set them up for the night.

“hey head into the house okay go get comfy honey.” you nodded and kissed ellie before walking the ways to the house. you walked upstairs and grabbed some comfy pajamas, it was a colder night so you threw on something that would keep you warmer through the night. you walked downstairs to help joel and tommy put the food away.

“already gettin’ comfy kiddo?” you rolled your eyes at joel’s comment.

“once i get home i will be in pajamas.” they both laughed at your comment and you all put the rest of the stuff away. joel showed you the shelf and it was perfect next to the mirror. you thanked him and walked them out to the porch where ellie joined you guys.

“thank you so much for the help and the stuff we really appreciate it.”

“of course, y’all are helpin’ me with the stands so its all comin’ around.” tommy patted ellie’s back and pulled her into a small hug. you said your goodbyes and set them off on their ways. ellie gabbed your waist and you waved goodbye at the two men like little old ladies.

“okay lets go im freezing.” you pulled her into the house, closed and locked the door for the night. you went around and did your ‘closing shift’ and closed all the windows and locked them all up. going through your mental checklist of things to do before bed, turning off the lights downstairs and making your way up. ellie was in the bathroom already getting ready for bed and in some pajamas.

“hey cutie.” you gave her a side hug and kissed her on the cheek, you could smell the faint bit of cologne she still had on from the day and her freshly washed face. she had resisted the first time you mentioned that she should start washing her face because she insisted she didn’t need it now she does it every night before bed.

“hey beautiful, i made sure to feed to animals and they’re all good and in their little beds.”

“thank you my love i appreciate it a lot, i don’t know why i feel so tired.”

“we had a big day together.” smiling up at her you kissed her, the kiss lasting longer than expected.

“up.” ellie mumbled in your ear, you jumped and she picked you up to place you on the counter.

“you’re so pretty baby.” not a second later you crashed your lips into hers, your hands traveling up to her hair. ellie pulled you closer towards her deepening the kiss, you cheeks flushed feeling her pull you into her and feeling her hands make her way down to your butt. she pulled you up off the counter still kissing you taking you to the bed. you giggled at her throwing you down onto the bed, kissing up and down your neck and your face the feeling tickling you. she made her way back up to your lips and you both slowed down your kisses, softly feeling every curve of your lips hitting each other. you stay there for what feels like forever just enjoying the moment of each other. you feel the whine of a little puppy dog right next to you, you both turn and see lady sitting their with a smile on her face and her tail wagging indicating she wants attention too.

“hey girl you want some kisses too??” ellie moves from on top of you and goes over to her and gives her kisses all over her face, she licks ellie all over her face and tackles her. its so cheesy but hearing ellie’s laughs filled you with such joy, the amount that you two had been through to get here she deserves to be happy. this simple life was all you had wanted, you were so happy to just settle down in a beautiful home with the most amazing girl and surrounded by the most amazing people.

“hey sweetie, you still with us?”

“oh of course!”

“you okay?”

“more than okay.” you smiled at ellie, falling into each other on the bed with your head on ellie’s chest. hearing her heart beat was the only way you could fall asleep now, can’t live without it.

“i love you baby.”

“i love you more els.”

“i’ll let you win this round.” you both giggled settling into each other, with lady at your feet. ellie reached over and turned the lamp off, both of you humming into each other. ellie playing with your hair makes you drown out the night noise and fall right too sleep. she notices you had fallen asleep and kissed your forehead.

“i love you more than you know.” lulling herself to sleep of the sounds of your soft snores.

———————————————————————————

a/n: i have already started another one shot that’ll be out tomorrow for abby! i hope you enjoyed this!! requests are open!!

[bigification]

Step Daddy

"You really need to get over your stepdad man." My friend tells me, concerned.

"Look, I'll try this one last thing and if it doesn't work then I'll give it up." I respond. "Did you bring the sunglasses?"

"Yes, but just remember he's like 25 years older than you. He's probably not going to be into you, even after this." He says as he hands me a pair of old pilot shades.

I told him I could let it go, but I can't. I'm just putting all my eggs into this basket, the sunglasses. Apparently they're supposed to transform someone who wears them mentally and physically to match my type. He already is my type, but I guess I wouldn't mind him bulking up a bit and growing some hair. It would be sexy if he got more charming, but he's already charming as it is. I guess there's only one way to find out.

I wait on the living room couch watching tv. He always gets home from work at the same time, so I know he'll be here any minute. I sit and stare at my reflection in the glasses. Am I really ready to change this man's life so drastically. My friend said no one else would take notice of the change, so it'll be like nothing happened. As I'm thinking over it, I hear the roar of his engine from the driveway. I try to calm down, but I can feel my body vibrate from the nerves. The door flies open.

"Hey buddy, hows it goin?" He asks me with his hot southern accent.

"Not bad. By the way, I found these sunglasses lying around, and assumed they were yours." I try to play it cool as I lie to his face.

"Oh, thanks. But these aren't mine." He responds.

"Well you might as well keep em, they don't fit me anyway." I try to convince him to take them without seeming too pushy.

"Well alright, thanks kid." He swipes the glasses and throws them on.

That was easier than I thought. As soon as he put them on, he stopped moving. His jaw slacked as if there was not a thought running through his mind. It started slow, his button up started to look a little bit tighter. His once flat chest started to push against his shirt and the shape of a belly started to show. Then it started to speed up. His chest started to pulse, growing in size with each one. They grew until the button on his collar popped off, then another button popped, then another and another. His juicy pecs flopped down after being released from his shirt. His stomach was next. His midsection widened and his stomach grew into a respectable beer belly, straining against his shirt. It wasn't long before more buttons began to pop, until his shirt was completely open. His arms also looked like they doubled in size, filling out his sleeves with thick muscles.

Next his legs start to look like they're gonna burst out of his dress pants. I can hear the rips ripple through his pants as his thighs grow inside of them. His ass fills out all the space in his pants and proceeds to rip open his fly and snap his belt in half. I can tell his underwear is barely staying in one piece as a large bulge formed in between his legs.

Finally his face begins to change. His once skinny face fills out with fat, giving him a rounder look. I can see that hair is falling out of his hat until he is left completely bald under there. Though in return his clean shaven face grows a bushy beard. But the hair doesn't stop there. It continues down his chest and to his belly, and presumably the rest of his body. He finally regains control of his body. He sighs as he stretched out his arms and cracks his knuckles before looking right at me.

"Come here, son." He says in a deep buttery voice.

A shock travels through my spine as I think he might know what I've done to him.

"What'd I say boy!" He raises his voice.

I jump a bit before I walk closer to him. I realize how imposing he is up close. He must have gotten taller because he seems well over six feet tall now, and at least 250 pounds.

"Daddy had a stressful day, why don't you help him release some tension." He says as he pushes me to my knees.

I blush, this is everything I wanted from this, it just happened so much faster than I thought.

"Don't be shy, boy. This will be our little secret." He says as he pulls his underwear down.

[drvscarlett]

Let Him Cook Pt 6

Charles Leclerc x Masterchef! Reader

Let Him Cook Series 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

A/N: Thank you for that anon who gave me a message for the next part of the series. This one is dedicated for you!

taglist: @bookstore-of-dreams@barcelonaloverf1life@ririyulife@minseok-smaus@mehrmonga@sltwins@charlesgirl16@six-call@spideybv28@casperlikej@weekendlusting@janeholt3 @evie-119@leilanixx @randomgirlnumber-13@itsjustkhaos

Cookies and Grand Prix

Y/NCooks just posted a photo.

Y/NCooks Now that my masterchef duties are done. Its my first time going to a grand prix as Charles' girlfriend. I hope you like cookies

User1 OMG IM GOING TOMORROW!!! OMYGODDDDD

Y/NCooks I'll give you a cookie when I see you! User1 Ohmygod, this is the best. You are the best!

User3 I'm envious of everyone going to Monza this year, Y/N is giving out cookies

User4 The details are everything on those cookies

CarlosSainz55 Im technically a former ferrari driver so can I claim a cookie?

LoganSargeant can i have one too? Y/NCooks this is for everyone!! Make sure to drop by Carlos and Logan! Maxverstappen1 Expect me around! User5 Everybody is a ferrari fan!

"Okay mon amour, so there will be a big crowd when we arrive" Charles briefed you as you get closer to the venue "Make sure to stick close to me."

"Yes honey, I know. Hold your hand and don't let go"

Charles has been extremely stressed and he thinks it might not be a good idea to bring you to Monza for your first GP as a couple. However, you couldn't pass up the opportunity. You have seen how the people cheered for Charles when he won in Monza, the crowd was electrifying. You wonder what will happen if it happens again this weekend.

Besides, you have a basket full of cookies that you prepared to give for those fans of Charles that you will meet.

You were immediately greeted by a huge crowd calling out Charles name. It was no wonder that there was several security guards waiting at Charles' designated parking lot.

It was normal for Charles to stop to take photos and to sign some merch. What surprised the duo was that the fans were asking for Y/N and her cookies.

"We really waited for you guys so we can get some cookies" one of the avid Tifosi said

"I really hope the cookies give ferrari luck"you agreed.

There was a buzz in the paddock as you gave away several more cookies to the different fans you encountered. You managed to give Carlos and Logan since they were also waiting at the parking lot. You were so carried away talking to everyone that you didn't realize that you already ran out of cookies.

"Oh no, I didn't save cookies for your other friends" you concluded upon reaching the garage.

"That's okay mon amour, I'm sure they would understand that there is no more cookies" Charles assured.

And like a comical entrance, a man in full Red Bull gear enters the sea of red uniforms.

"What do you mean no more cookies?" Max asked "I did not just go through all the security details to not have cookies"

"Oops."

Grill the grid: eggs

It was a fairly easy challenge, the media team thought. They believe that there will be no harm to let the drivers cook since its just a simple hard-boiled egg.

There was a stove, a pot, 2 bottles of water, eggs, vinegar, salt, and pepper on the table. They also thought that it will be funny to put unnecessary spices and ingredients on the table so there is grated cheese, spring onions, cinnamon, carrots, and etc..

The drivers entered the room looking confused at the different set up of the Grill the Grid.

"We're giving people what they want, today were actually allowing the drivers to show off their cooking skills with this special episodes of grill the grid"

Charles is obviously happy. He was already raving about how there are different versions of eggs that he tried at home because of Y/N.

"I have already tried doing poached egg, soft-boiled eggs, french omelette, american ones" Charles enumerated "I think I'm the best at making scrambled eggs"

"Its just scrambled"

"There is a technique there" and Charles continued to ramble on the different techniques that he has used to achieve the perfect scrambled eggs.

On the other hand, Oscar is attempting to make a hard boiled egg. He admits to the camera that he did not have any experience of it but he definitely knows how it taste (obviously).

"So Oscar what is your game plan here?"

"Well, I'm planning to boil the water and I think I should add some vinegar and then maybe sugar and salt so the egg will be flavored" Oscar stopped as he heard the giggling on set "Wait am I wrong?"

"No, no, just continue"

"Okay so I think I'm gonna let the eggs cook once the water is rolling then I'm gonna wait for 15-18 minutes because I don't wanna serve raw eggs" Oscar continued.

The staffs are a bit shocked by the length of time. It was beyond overcooked but they wouldn't say anything to the Australian driver.

It cuts to Max who seems to be pretty confident with his skill. Its a simple egg, how hard can it be?

"Of course, we have to get the water boiling and then I'm going to put it in for 5 minutes and then get the egg out" Max explained.

If Oscar has a long waiting time, Max was immediately dropping the egg even before the water is boiling because Max believes that the water is hot to the touch.

"What happened, why is the egg still runny?" Max wondered

He cut off the egg and there was still slimy white and the yolks were uncooked. There was a frown on his face as he looked back at his pot, he thinks he is being sabotaged.

"I'm gonna do it again"

Yuki was excited to do the cooking challenge. He insisted that he will not just make a hard boiled egg but he will also showcase a soft-boiled egg. The staffs were ecstatic to see him running around to get iced water for his eggs.

"I make these weekly so I'm really confident that it will turn out well"Yuki has a permanent grin as he fishes out his soft-boiled egg.

"If you want a soft-boiled egg, boiling water with the bubbles and then 8 minutes on the clock. Then you put it in an ice bath and then peel it" Yuki narrates.

He opens his soft boiled egg and it showcases a jammy yolk and soft whites, the perfect kind of soft-boiled eggs. The studio applauds at Yuki's efforts.

Y/NCooks just posted a photo

Y/NCooks since the episode is out, here is the list of photos sent to me by the crew. Guess which is which.

User2 OHMYGOD, THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!

User3 LOOK AT OSCAR'S REALLY OVERCOOKED EGGS

User6 i was seriously laughing when he said 18 to 20 minutes User7 For real, man thinks he is tenderizing meat

maxverstappen1 i demand a part 2

Charles_Leclerc "its so easy" maxverstappen1 shut up. i have been cooking now kellypiquet p is getting tired of eggs every morning user9 max is really serious to train himself on how to make eggs

User14 I just know that yuki is the one with the best looking egg, so smooth!!!

Y/Ncooks yes!!! User17 charles is the one with the unsmooth peeling Y/NCooks the man can't have it all, i guess

LandoNorris thank God they didn't send you my photo

Y/NCooks lando, i dont think anyone grabbed a photo since the fire department was called CarlosSainz55 you did what???? Charles_Leclerc and they call me as someone who can't cook when we have Lando here being a fire hazard LandoNorris Y/N THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SECRET User22 atleast team papaya are both needing lessons.

The cookie prank.

Max was still upset that he didn't get to have cookies in Monza. He was really looking forward to it so he wasn't the least suspicious when he allowed Charles inside his home since he brought him cookies.

It was wrong of Max to put down his defenses.

"I'm gonna get some water, you want anything?" Max asked

"No, I'm just gonna get comfortable here with your cats"

Charles stood in front of the cat litter box and he pulled the ziplock bag that he has. Inside the ziplock bag was another set of cookies that looks like cat poops. He laughed quietly as he sets up the scene.

"Max, do you know about that coffee made from poop?" he asked the Dutchman

"Of course, Kopi Luwak" Max replied "Why did you ask?"

Max walked out of the kitchen and he can see clearly how Charles picked up a poop from the litter box. He almost dropped the water that he is holding upon seeing that.

"What if we use cat poop instead" Charles wondered

"CHARLES WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

The pure mortification in Max's face when Charles started eating the poop. It seems like his friend lost his mind after driving in Ferrari for all these years.

"You should try some"

"Y/N, CHARLES IS GOING CRAZY" Max immediately placed you on a call "I THINK HE NEEDS THERAPY"

"Woah slow down Max" you were out on a grocery run and now Max is screaming at your ear

"Hello mon amour"Charles greeted on the other line.

"HE LOST HIS MIND, HE STARTED EATING MY CAT'S POOPS"

You made a mental face palm as you remembered how Charles insisted that you make very realistic cookies that looks like poop. Charles never opened it to you that he will be using it to prank Max. You started laughing at the shock in Max's face.

"Max, those are cookies" you defended

"THEY ARE CAT POOPS, CHARLES LECLERC IS EATING CAT POOPS"

Oh what would you do with these boys.

[ebbarights]

honestly i think i'll just be single forever because god hates me

so the guy has a girlfriend

[rezwrites]

Hi! Love your writing!!

I have a suggestion/request:

So, reader is a lesbian married to someone their own age, but Dark Agatha wants reader to herself, and knows there are things only she can make them feel.

Mommy/dom/corrupting and stuff

Thanksss

I’m glad you enjoy the works!

Warnings: +18 MDNI, dub-con, infidelity/cheating, corruption, cursing, strap-on, deepthroating, rough sex

Setting the dirty clothes basket on top of the dryer tossing each article of clothing into the washing machine, you came across one of your wife’s collared shirts with plum wine lipstick stain on the collar, a pair of pink lace underwear balled up inside the shirt. This couldn’t be happening, you didn’t think your marriage was bad for your wife to cheat. Tears started forming in your eyes, heart sinking to your stomach.

“Baby! I’m home!” your wife’s cheery voice called from the front door. Stepping out of the laundry room you see her placing the grocery bags on the table, her dirty blonde hair released from her braid framing her face. The giant smile on her face immediately dropping when she sees your tears, rushing to you.

“Abby.” chewing your bottom lip, showing her the articles of clothing, “please be honest with me.”

“Baby,” her blue eyes widening like saucers, mouth open, “I swear on my life I don’t know where those came from. The lipstick stain is just as much a mystery.”

“Abs, I have no reason to doubt you but this; I can’t wrap my head around this.” Pulling a chair from the table, you took a seat putting your head in your hands. Abby followed suit pulling a chair next to you.

“I’m at work all day and when i’m not there I’m here with you.” She pulled your hands away from your face, holding them, “I haven’t been with anybody else, I swear.”

The rest of the night was full of silence, you’re still coming up with illogical scenarios outside cheating to figure out where the stain and panties came from, none of them obviously not making sense. Abby knows not to disturb you when you’re too deep in thought, though some part of you wished she did so you could stop spiraling internally. That night you both slept with your back towards each other. It hurt to not hold each other.

Waking up early unable to go back to sleep you decided go into work. Quitely getting dressed you headed down stairs. Making a simple breakfast, you set an extra plate of eggs and toast beside for Abby when she woke up.

“You can’t leave without hugging me first.” Abby’s tired voice startled you, her eyes red. You didn’t even hear her come down the stairs. She stood at the bottom of the stairs holding her arms outstretched, a deep frown etched into her features. Abby’s warm, strong arms wrapped around you, the woody scent of her cologne still lingering on her shirt. She kissed your forehead repeating sorries. You leaned up shutting her up with a kiss, whispering I love you against her lips before heading out. You texted her about her breakfast on the counter before driving to work.

—

Working away on this quarterly report the CEO’s assistant dialed your line informing that the would like to see you in her office, stressing you to hurry. Walking to the elevators, your nervousness elevated with each passing floor. You’ve only seen Ms. Harkness a handful of times when you sat in on a board meeting, and at holiday parties for the company, each fleeting conversation you’ve had with her had been pleasant. The doors opened on the top floor, the hard silver floor echoing with every step you took. The receptionist directed you to the office, pointing towards the imposing double doors at the end of the corridor.

Knocking on the black granite door, you heard a muffled come in. Entering the CEO's office, your eyes were immediately drawn to the breathtaking view of the city skyline through the large, floor-to-ceiling windows. The room was filled with the soft, warm glow of natural sunlight. The room exuded an air of authority and sophistication, making you feel both privileged and slightly intimidated.

Ms. Harkness gestured for you to sit in the plush, leather armchair. The coolness of the smooth, polished surface of the mahogany desk sent a shiver down your spine. Sharp and straight-to-the-point Ms Harkness pointedly asked, “You’ve worked as the assistant CFO for how long now?”

“Three years next month, Ma’am.” you responded, subconsciously cracking your knuckles to ease your anxiousness.

“And in that short time your reports have excelled our company. Your clear, concise statements show us where we need to improve and decrease our operations. Now, I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging but I made a great decision hiring you. In my professional opinion you’d do better as CFO than an assistant.” Her voice grew proud as she praised you. A grin on her face, as she sat up straightening out her bronze blazer.

Your body warmed at the praise she dished out, lightly squirming underneath her bold gaze, “That’s a huge responsibility, Ms.Harkness, but I thank you for the kind words, and I’m very grateful for the opportunity to gain so much experience and knowledge in such a short time.”

She laughed at your formality, “Please just call me Agatha, dear. I apologize if I frightened you with the sudden call here. I actually wanted to commended you on your wonderful work, and take you out to lunch to get to know you better.”

—

The elegant restaurant had dimly lit chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling, casting a low, golden glow over the room. Soft classical music played in the background, creating a soothing ambiance. The air was filled with the mouthwatering aroma of sizzling steaks and freshly baked bread. Feeling severely underdressed in your simple above-the-knee dress you attempted to cover yourself as you awaited a table.

“No need to fret,” Agatha guided you in front of her to follow the hostess, leaning down as you passed her, whispering in your ear, “you look exquisite.”

Sitting down on the smooth, velvet booth the soft fabric brushing the back of your knees and shoulders. The hostess hands you the menus notifying you that your waitress will be with you shortly, “Velvet upholstery? That’s in interesting choice. It must take a lot to clean if wine is spilled.”

“I think they keep up maintenance every night.” She responded, eyes locked onto the menu.

The waitress comes to your table asking for drinks. Agatha requested, “Two glasses of Sauvignon Blanc, please. Our order will be ready in a few minutes.”

“Wine in the middle of the day?” You chuckled nervously.

“Why not? I’m letting you go home early anyway.” She caught your eyes bulging as you lowered the menu, “Only if you wish to. I know you came in early. I’m sure you’ve been working diligently all morning, you deserve it.”

The waitress comes back with two glasses. Agatha pours you both a glass, toasting each other to a nice lunch. Taking sip you note acidity mixed with gooseberry and white peach. There’s so many options on the menu, they overwhelmed you, way out of your comfort zone.

“This wine pairs well with light seafood or chicken.” Agatha chimed-in, eyes focusing back on the menu, “Have you decided yet or do you need another minute?

“I decided to play it safe with the Chicken Alfredo.” you folded the menu handing it to Agatha, relieved that they had your safe food.

When the waitress returned Agatha had ordered for both of you, getting herself Halibut Ceviche. Agatha reminds you of Abby this way, a woman who knows what she wants and takes charge. You would actually love to surprise Abby on a date here one night, it would be a nice gift after she’d dealt with her rambunctious students all day.

“Dear? What’s with that frown?” Her eyebrows furrowed. You hadn’t noticed you were frowning reaching for the stem of your wine glass.

“Oh, it’s nothing really.” you dismissed. You hadn’t noticed you were frowning reaching for the stem of your wine glass.

“Come on.” She places her hand over yours offer you a reassuring smile, “It’s okay to tell me.” Agatha makes it easy to talk to her outside of work, seeping such a comforting air.

“I think my wife is or was cheating.” You stared at your wine, unable to look her in the eyes.

“Well, what happened?” She folded her fingers resting her chin on them, azure eyes watching your every move.

“There was a lipstick stain on the collar of her shirt.” You opted to leave out the panties out of embarrassment.

“It wasn’t yours?” She pried, taking another sip wine.

“No, I don’t particularly like dark lipstick colors. And I’d think I’d remember staining my wife’s collar.” You realized the bite in your tone, “sorry.”

“Hmm,” she squinted her eyes at you, you could see her thinking, “While I honestly can’t give you any advice besides trying to talk it out with her. I can tell you that whatever you need I’ll help you however I can.” She squeezed your hand, the food arriving at your table.

She turned to conversation to more pleasant topics. Agatha told you stories about her early college days. Once she got mad at one of her professors for contradicting herself too many times during a lesson. Agatha had given her the finger, written fuck you on the board and left, never taking the class for the rest of the semester. Both of your sides hurting from laughing to hard, “I ended up taking the class again in my last year. Under a different professor, of course.”

You felt bad having Agatha pay the bill even though she offered, so you covered the tip. Returning to the office everyone stared at you as Agatha escorted you to your office. Exchanging personal numbers, Agatha expressed again that she would be available to you day and night.

—

“You’re home late.” Noting as Abby walked through the door hanging her laptop bag on the hook.

“I’m sorry, baby. We had a curriculum meeting that ran late.” She came up behind you hands on your waist. Peppering kisses on your neck, peering over your shoulder watching you scoop the meat into the bell peppers, “Dinner smells delicious.”

“It’s turkey-quinoa stuffed bell peppers, it just needs to go in the oven for twenty minutes.” You moved to place the pan in the oven, afterwards turning towards her pecking her on the cheek, “Why don’t you go get cleaned up for dinner.”

You giggle as Abby raves about dinner while telling you about finger painting with her kids at work and how she almost fell asleep in the meeting. After dinner she cleans the kitchen as you set up a movie marathon for you both to wind down from the day. Abby sits beside you bringing you closer to her warm body. Although there’s still a sliver of doubt in the back of your mind, you were content snuggling, watching movies together.

After a while Abby got up to use to the restroom, leaving her phone by you. It lights up repeatedly, you really didn’t want to look, wanting to trust your wife, but the hearts in the messages caught your attention from the corner of your eye.

「I miss you babe. I had a great time today😘

I can’t wait to see you again❤️❤️❤️

I got that thing for us to try😉 」

“What the fuck!” Shouting, you grabbed her phone.

“What’s wro-” Abby came back down the hallway only for her phone to collided with her chest, startling her. Desperately, she reached out grabbing it, jaw dropping at the screen. You’re fuming, face contorting with such an intensity she’d never seen before.

“No bullshit, Abigail! Explain that!” Glaring at her, tears blurring your vision.

“I don’t know that number! She balled and unballed her fist, visibly trying to keep her tears at bay, “I swear, I would never cheat on you.” You both went back and forth. An argument turned screaming match, loud enough to shake the pictures on the wall.

Stopping yourself mid sentence, you dropped your shoulders, staring at her, “I can’t stay here tonight.” Rushing out of the house, you ignored her pleas.

Pulling into a gas station you sit and collect your thoughts, feebly attempting to hold yourself together as your phone rings, “Ms. Harkness, would it be possible if I stayed with you tonight?”

“Of course, dear, not a problem at all.” Her honeyed voice acted as a light in the dark, “I’m sending you the address now.”

—

Agatha was already waiting outside when you pulled in the driveway. The faint scent of fresh flowers wafts through the house, adding a touch of nature. As you sink into the luxurious leather sofa, you feel the softness enveloping you, providing utmost comfort.

“I love her. I thought she loved me, I just can’t believe that she’d do this.” Breaking down into sobs Agatha cradled you in her arms, not saying a word, rubbing your back letting you get it all out. Once your sobs subsided into sniffles Agatha titled your chin up, her warm lips falling on yours. Face twisting in shock, you pushed her away, “We can’t-”

“Don’t.” A tight grip on your jaw kept you from getting too far away, ”I know you need this.” She pulled you in for another kiss, this time rougher and more disorienting. Wrong, this was so wrong. Not only are you dealing with a fallout with your wife but she’s your boss.

Agatha slipped her tongue past your lips moving slow, enjoying the feeling of your mouth, occasionally coming back to lick your tongue. You hated to admit that you did need this. Months without sex left you pent up, something coming up each time you two try. You couldn’t even recall the last time your wife kissed you with such wanton desire.

“Come back to me, doll.” Smiling when your eyes focused back her, she couldn’t wait to ravage you. Picking you up she wrapped your thighs around her waist, walking to her bedroom.

Depositing you onto her plush queen-sized bed, draped in smooth satin sheets that shimmer in the soft light. The satin sheets cool and silky against your hot skin. She walked over to the adjoining bathroom ordering over shoulder, “I want your clothes off by the time I’m back.”

You know you shouldn’t but the ache in between your legs was too much. Not enough to keep you here, this has gone far enough already. Shaking your head you started to move off the bed to leave.

“I gave you an order, little girl.” Agatha stood at the edge of the bed naked, and arms crossed. You paled at the strap hanging from her jutting hips. She lowered her voice, leaning forward on the bed, “Take your clothes off.”

“Now!” She raised her voice at your hesitation, gaze hardening. Not wanting to anger her further, you quickly stripped. She stood back up tapping her hip, “Come get it wet.”

With a hitch in your breath you crawled over to her. Getting closer you noticed the purple undertone of her cock in the light. Dragging your tongue across the head of the strap you could see her stomach tensing. She grabbed a fistful of your hair, shoving her cock deeper, “You look beautiful with my cock in your mouth.”

You choked, the tip of her cock hitting the back of your throat. She pulled back before throughly fucking your throat, your nose touching her harness. Unable to look up at her shame and arousal growing in your core, as your head bobbed up and down over her shaft. Gripping at her thighs to hold yourself steady, tears began to brim your eyes.

“Look at you.” Agatha heaved, pulling you off of her, smearing your spit on your face, “my messy girl.” She pushed you down on your back, hovering over you, her hand falling over your cunt, “I don’t think I needed you to suck me off, your cunt is dripping.”

“Does she tell you how sexy you are?” Pressing chaste kisses to your neck and chest as she slipped herself inside your cunt. Mewling, arching your back as her cock sunk deeper into your depths, your eyes rolling back.

“Not lately.” you sighed.

“Not lately.” she scoffed, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “I’d be sure to tell you every damn day.” She accentuates each word with a thrust. She picked up her pace, fully bottoming out.

Whining as her thumb drew over your clit, it hit you embarrassingly quick how close you were. Agatha suddenly pulled out, and flipped you on all fours. Nudging you further up the bed she pulled your hips towards hers.

Pushing herself back inside, her hand snaked under your chest holding your jaw again. Sweat mingling with hers as she laid her body on top of yours, her hips pistoning into yours. Agatha’s husky voice reached your ears, “Can she make you feel like this? Give you this deep pleasure?”

“I bet she’s so afraid of getting a strap or toys.” she chuckled, dropping her tone again, “I want you to think of your sweet wife and tell yourself the truth. That she only satisfies the surface, not the deep primal need you have to get fucked ruthlessly like an animal.”

Moaning as she dug her nails into your hips, driving her cock deep and fast into depths. Your arms felt like jelly, giving out you fell to your chest. Biting your bottom lip you tried to keep your tears from forming.

Agatha’s thrusts slowed down to a halt, lazily rubbing your clit. The grip on your jaw tightened, possibly leaving bruises. Agatha growled out, “Tell yourself, doll.”

Fisting the sheets, your salty tears fell on your lips, crying out, “No! She can’t make me feel this good!”

She grunted pushing herself closer against you, returning to her previous speed. Fucking you breathless, each touch of hers set your body alight. You sobbed as your body shook underneath her, cunt clenching around her cock. Agatha fucked you mercilessly through your orgasm, sucking harshly at the crook of your neck, working herself through her own orgasm.

Pride swelled in Agatha’s chest as she watched your body collapse on the bed, your pussy glistening. Slipping away to toss the strap into the bathroom sink, she returned to find you curled in on yourself, the sheets halfway covering your body. Laying behind you she reached for her phone on the nightstand, the newest message read:

「 I don’t know who you are but you may have just ruined my marriage!! 」

Putting her phone back down she smiled to herself, she definitely knows she destroyed your marriage. Your cries dissolved into sniffles as Agatha traced patterns along your spine. She knows there’s many emotions going through you in your post-orgasm clarity.

Maybe-no you had acted rash. Your chest tightened at the thought of how you’re going to confront your wife after this. Sobs bubbled up in your chest again, full of regret, shame, and guilt. Sitting up to grab your clothes, lithe fingers wrapped around your bicep, pulling you back down. Agatha covered your body with hers, settling her smooth thigh against your sticky cunt.

A devilish smile on her face, “We’re both taking off work tomorrow.”

[justevelynnnn]

hiii! i was wondering if you could do bunny!reader and Connie doing something maybe a bit wholesome like maybe grocery shopping? 😭😭

Hellooooooo! My first request 😭😭! Ok so, basically for this is had to do a bit of research because I never heard of the bunny!reader thing so idk y my mind went to like and actual half human, half bunny situation but hopefully I got it right let me knowwwww!

You hopped right into my heart

Warnings: none

Content: just fluff 👍🏾

- People would describe you as a bunny a lot of the time

- You were shy, curious, easily startled…

- So how did someone like you, end up with some on like him?

- You went with your friend one day to the mall and that’s when he saw you

- You wore a whole white outfit that contrasted well with your darker skin. It was simple really, a white crop top and a short lacy skirt, white stockings and some white flats.

- He just had to have you

- Luckily for him your friend saw him and pointed him out to you as he walked over

- You were nervous at first and tried to hide behind her but she reassured you it was fine and stepped out the way

- He was fine enough so you did end up giving him your number and the rest was history

- Connie Springer was the town’s bad boy. He wore ripped jeans and buzz cut his hair a lot and messed around in school all the way up until graduation

- You however, while jumpy and sometimes silly when comfortable, was an exceptional student who was often quiet and to herself

- You went to college but he didn’t. He was wild and edgy and you were tame and soft

- So why did you chose him?

- Well it’s like they say, opposites attract!

- You calmed Connie down, he pulled you out your shell

- You guys first date was going on a picnic.

- Connie chose the perfect day, it was sunny but not too hot with a nice breeze. He knew you liked vegetables so he brought some ingredients to make a salad which you thought was sweet 🤍

- He loved your softness and almost purity

- After a while you guys would go grocery shopping

- He would take care of your stuff first so berries, lettuce and carrots and other healthy things would fill the basket

- Connie goes to the gym so he knows about being healthy but he would also get things like potion powder and eggs

- He would always pay and push the basket no matter what you said and he would put all the bags in the trunk too.

- Then you guys would drive around and listen to music. He listened to a lot of rap and a bit of rock even but you didn’t.

- “Some of these lyrics are so….violent..” You’d say and Connie would just laugh.

- You listened to softer music and pop and you even introduced him to Taylor Swift

- When the town saw you with the famous “bad boy” there were mixed reactions. Some people were worried you’d become like him and some were hoping he’d become more like you..

- Eventually everyone got used to it and now you guys were the walking definition of couple goals

- Connie would eventually nickname you his bunny because of how you reminded him of them so often with how you act

- You absolutely loved it, he really made your heart melt

- “Man, when I saw you at the mall that day, it’s like you hopped right into my heart..” He said on you guys one year anniversary of being together.

- You didn’t do much other than smile and peck him on his cheek :)

I liked this idea a lot 😭👍🏾 I hope it’s what you wanted or that I got it right at least

[elvensorceress]

tuesday teases

Haven’t been around in a million years but the show baited me with delicious Eddie angst. So. Hello lovely little gay people in my phone. Would you like some Tuesday fic teases?

@tizniz @hippolotamus @chaosandwolves @inell @smilingbuckley @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @blutterlie @thelikesofus @ronordmann @dr-shortsighted-owl @lovecolibri @eddiebabygirldiaz @fiona-fififi @thekristen999

Here’s the ridiculous boys after the realtor phone call meeting…

“She probably wasn’t thinking anything one way or the other. She’s just focused on her job and finding us— me. Me, technically. A house.”

No. Not just Eddie. Their house. It would be theirs. Even if Buck isn’t there. Even if he never steps one foot into it. Eddie’s home is still Buck’s home. That won’t change. Ever.

But he can’t say that. How does he say that?

He gets up from the couch and grabs his empty mug. “You still want to make snickerdoodles? Or some other cookie? Or, what did you call it? Cake masquerading as loaf bread?” Eddie doesn’t wait for an answer. He goes into the kitchen and gets out the stash of flour he’s recently acquired.

He stocked up. Just in case. Can’t have the alternative of Buck without his baking.

Eddie sets one of the ten pound bags on the counter then grabs a pack of butter and the carton of eggs from the fridge and finds the measuring cups and spoons in their drawer. The basket Buck made years ago during quarantine is next. It holds the vanilla, the baking powder and soda, various flavored extracts, finishing salt, molasses, packets of instant yeast, chocolate chips, other baking essentials. He takes the jar of cinnamon from the spice rack in the cupboard, goes to put it with everything, but finds Buck staring from the kitchen doorway.

He looks too wistful. Too heartbroken. And all Eddie can offer is a kitchen and ingredients. He doesn’t have anything else.

Was it really that much of a loss? They were only together for six months. Did Buck really want to spend his life with the guy? It couldn’t have been that serious. It never is.

None of the people Buck’s dated are good enough for him.

Maybe Buck isn’t thinking of his ex right now. Maybe he’s thinking about the kid who was like a son to him.

Or the whole Eddie moving to El Paso thing. He seems fine, for the most part. He’s helping. But that’s what Buck does. He helps. He supports. Even when he shouldn’t.

But Buck has bad relationships to get over. He’s not really thinking about Eddie or Eddie’s problems. He’s focusing on a task so that his mind doesn’t wander where it shouldn’t.

Buck would be fine without Eddie. Hell, he’s probably better off. Or he will be.

Eddie asks too much of him. He takes up too much of Buck's time with his issues.

Eddie looks through the little stock pile he’s put together. “Anything else you need?”

Buck looks, stands beside him, and answers, “Sugar?”

Sugar.

Eddie’s stomach twists. It’s not a pet name. It’s an answer. Not a term of endearment. Answer. And of course it slipped Eddie’s mind. Why wouldn’t something that huge and essential be missing from his offering. He should have some though. Buried in the back of the pantry. He finds white, brown, and confectioner’s, and adds them to the supply. “All yours. Whatever you want to make. I’ll run to the store and get more if you need anything. We should have plenty of flour though. I got you five bags.”

Buck’s head snaps toward him. “Five bags? You got me five bags of flour? Like, two pound ones, right? Or the five pounders?”

Eddie shakes his head and gestures. “No, the tens. Like that one.”

“You bought me fifty pounds of flour?”

“Well, you’re the one who decided his coping mechanism was snickerdoodles and sourdough. I’m just being supportive. Since you’re my wingman and I’m yours or whatever you said when you stole my tablet and my realtor call.”

Buck huffs but smirks. “More like saved your call.”

More like saved Eddie’s everything but who’s counting?

[double--blind]

(SPOILERS) Ashley, self-esteem, and starvation

So, I adore Ashley. She's this intensely toxic, vicious, cruel, manipulative girl, and her psychology gives me hella brainworms. Andrew's not the only one whose head I wanna crack open and root around lol. She's thrown away the world just to keep her brother by her side, and she'll continue to do worse and worse for the same reason. She's pretty awful! I've been thinking about why, though. How did things get so bad? How did her soul get so dark?

We don't know everything (I'm waiting for those new eps patiently aND CLAWING AT THE WALLS AND FROTHING AT THE MOUTH but whatevs y'know whatevs I'm normal. I'm fine), yet what information we have been given is bumping around my brain like a DVD screensaver on hyperdrive

It's clear from the start that the roots of Ashley's issues lie in her horrible, neglectful upbringing, but it's hinted that even those outside of her family felt the same abt her. I'm lowkey even betting we'll learn later on that she was ostracized by her peers somehow. However, what's most disconcerting, I believe, is how little she was when the results of this alienation are first made apparent to us (bc kids aren't dumb; they notice this stuff oftentimes instinctively, impossibly young, before they even know what it means to be hated), and how devastating the consequences were.

(There's something decidedly childish abt her dream sequence in the "questionable" route—filled with crayon scribbles and rabbit plushies, the metaphors simplistic yet profound—which really hammers in how these sentiments are things that have made a home in her since childhood. Formative subconscious truths.)

Growing up unloved and noticeably unwanted by virtually everyone around her likely left her with a gaping hole in her heart that she'd spend the rest of her life trying to fill. She'd make friends, but she'd always worry that they'd leave her, that they'd betray her, nothing tangible or weighted enough in their connection to trust in its persistence. Why should she expect otherwise? Not even being bound by familial ties ensures affection if her parents are any indication.

Every lesson she'd ever learned had always taught her this: you are easy to abandon. You cannot love and be loved by virtue of your own worth.

You have to rip their affection from their clenched hands if you want it so bad.

This understanding carries with it an undercurrent of degradation, instilling within Ashley a constant, biting inferiority complex which will never fail to be a source of insecurity. She will always be put last. She was difficult to raise, so her parents gave up on raising her. She was difficult to get along with, so her friends gave up on getting along with her.

It's an odd cycle. She's difficult bc she needs to be to get attention, but bc she's difficult, she can't keep it. Not without having whatever fondness she's managed to cultivate within someone fray at the seams, volatile and prone to collapse, bleeding toxicity.

Hence, her relationship w/Andrew.

By being the only reliable constant in her life, caring for her and keeping her company, Andrew essentially became her only source of happiness, and she's since learned not to bother with anyone else. Still, it's dangerous to keep all your eggs in one basket; since he is all she has, she must protect her place in his life with even greater ferocity, which becomes a torturous ordeal when coupled with her damaged self-esteem.

It's apparent in her quarrels with Andrew that she needs constant reassurance that she is wanted in some capacity or perceived in some positive light (getting pouty when Andrew says he's "stuck with her", needing to hear that she's pretty, needing him to "choose her", wanting him to say he loves her back, etc. etc.), yet her insecurity remains, bc unlike her, he's got options. She doesn't think he needs her like she needs him. He's got a gf, their parents love him, her friends love him. Why would he settle for her? What if someone better comes along? Someone she can't scare away?

Wouldn't he just leave her like everyone else?

Even before getting locked in the coffin of their apartment, starvation's been a constant theme in Ashley's life. She's constantly aching for love, and Andrew's the only one who can feed her. When you're forced to fight for a bite to eat or suffer every moment you hunger, you become ravenous—covetous—when faced with food; you don't want the hunger to return, so you lock down the source of your sustenance, wary of its retreat. Ashley's in a permanent state of intense insecurity, always anxious that the love that gives her life will leave her.

Andrew knows Ashley better than anyone else in the world, and it's obvs to everyone and him how desperate Ashley is for him, but I don’t think Andrew has truly, consciously processed the depth of that desperation. It's there buried in his head somewhere no doubt, but rn, he doesn't operate w/the direct awareness that he is everything. He is brother, mother, friend, and soulmate. He is life and love, air and water, everything that is good in the world—everything that there is to justify existence.

It's heartbreaking, in a way, that it's so difficult for Andrew to convince her of his loyalty. This goes further than his tendency to hide his true feelings, bc when push comes to shove, he's at her beck and call. Objectively, he's hers. She doesn't see that bc all she sees is all the ways she can lose him.

So, she gets bratty. She gets pushy, possessive, territorial. Manipulative. Gets under his skin, guilts him to exhaustion, bc she can't see him staying any other way, bc he doesn't get it, bc it works. He bends to her will, for her sake. For now. It's always "for now", bc he'll start slipping away again, and then it'll get worse. She does worse.

Becomes worse.

[bharv]

How can I kill the perfectionist in my brain? I’ve never been able to finish a project because of it. It’s my deepest shame.

ahhh anon you know what, I CAN speak to this. In my 20s I was paralysed by perfection. And you know what, I did actually write some of the best stuff of my life. An award winning poem that I've never reached the heights of again. Two or three really excellent short stories.

But that was over years.

The first thing I would say is you gotta punt that shame into the sun. Shame is the death of all joy and creativity. It's not shameful to want to do a good job.

The second thing I would say is that perfection is also the enemy of art. Particularly, the idea of perfection linked to ideas of muses, of being struck with inspiration, of waiting for art to come to you. Art is craft, graft, and turning up.

The way to kill the perfectionist is to actually kill any idea of the mystery of creativity and the perfect reader. Set a time every day to write a small amount, or if that doesn't work with your schedule, a day a week to write a bit more. If you miss it, don't beat yourself up! Just find another slot to do it, or pick it up. Set a task and do it, even if that task is sit and look at a sentence you don't like for twenty minutes until you figure out why you don't like it. Accept that the work might just be fine, and do it! And the thing they don't like to say is that if you do it consistently, you might not FEEL like your writing is perfect, but it will probably be much closer to that high standard than you can see.

And there's not going to be a perfect reader who this is for. It's going to mean different things to other people. So how CAN it be perfect? All it can be is done.

I write about 150k a year now, vs maybe 15k when I agonised over things. And I send that stuff out, and other people like it (side note, for submissions I send them and then force myself to forget and do not check in unless I get an offer. I move onto the next and I NEVER put all my eggs in one basket with submissions.) And I do that by turning up every day, and trying to get it to a point where I can stand by it, and that has to be good enough.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Know Your Place 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, power dynamic, age gap, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall, destroyer!Chris [for the purposes of this AU, I will give him the last name Jackson] (Professor AU)

Summary: after a life time of home schooling, you finally get to experience the real world in college. (petite reader)

Part of the Bad Professors AU

Note: Please leave some feedback and reblog <3 As always, I love to chat with you all. 

The grocery store is nice. It’s not very big or crowded either. You expected one of those manic superstores you saw on TV. Instead, shoppers mill around in a mellow din and investigate apples or jars of jam. 

You take out your list as you step out of the way of another customer. As you unfold it, Walter stands nearby. He looks around the store, his chin high, and heat speckles across your neck. You look up at him and give a sheepish smile. 

“You don’t have to stick around. You just need coffee, right?” 

“I’m in no hurry,” he assures you and peeks down at the paper in your hand, “so, what’s on the list? What are we looking for?” 

“You really don’t have to,” you insist. “I’m sure I can figure this all out.” 

“I’m sure you can,” he says and takes a basket from the stack near the door. “But I’m offering because I want to.” 

“Hm, okay. Bet it would be faster...” you mutter. “Okay, er, zucchini.” 

“Zucchini,” he nods. “Well, look at me talking a big game and you stumped me. I don’t think I’ve ever bought any.” 

“Oh, uh, yeah.” 

“No problem, it’s gotta be with the... squash,” he points and gently nudges you ahead of him. “Right there.” 

He walks with you down the aisle and you squeeze by a cart as he trails behind you. You stop before the green vegetables and take a bag. Walter nears and offers up the basket. You bag up the zucchini and set it carefully inside. 

“Alright, and eggs... flour...” you look down the list. 

“Making a cake?” He wonders as he turns down the next row of produce. 

“Muffins. I thought... every day I could have one for breakfast. Like my mom makes. And I could freeze the extras for next week.” You explain, “and lunches, just a loaf of bread and tuna.” 

“Wow, seems like you’ve got everything planned out,” he muses. 

“I thought I did but I couldn’t even find the grocery store,” you laugh nervously. 

“Don’t be rough on yourself. You’re new. You’ll get around,” he assures. “Hey, be right back, gonna go grab my beans.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

“Dairy’s down there,” he points before he hurries off. 

“Thanks,” you utter after him. 

You grab a carton of eggs and peer around at the aisles, squinting up at the signs for each aisle. You see him down one as you search for the flour. It’s in the same row as the coffee. As you come down it, he tucks away his cell phone. 

He approaches as you look at the bags of flour. You grab a small one. Light enough to carry back to your dorm. 

“Here,” he takes the eggs and puts them in the basket. As you put the flour in after them, you sense his size again. The way he looms reminds you of how small you feel and really are. “So, besides getting lost, how’s school going?” 

“Good, I think. Yeah. I like most of my classes,” you say. 

“But...” 

“But?” You check your list again and find a tin of baking soda. 

“You don’t sound entirely pleased.” 

“I don’t?” You look at him. “Well, I guess I miss my mom. A little.” 

“That’s normal. And it just means you love her.” He insists. 

“I do,” you agree. 

“What about friends?” He prompts. 

“None, so far,” you shrug. “But I guess it takes time.” 

“No one you know from home going here?” He asks. 

You shake your head, “home schooled.” 

“Home schooled,” he hums, “wow.” 

“I know, it’s weird.” 

“No, it’s not.” 

“That’s what the guy in my history class said. It’s okay. It’s different. I think it’s weird to go to a school school. Sounds scary,” you say. 

“Well, you are,” he chuckles. “You’re in college. That means you’re pretty smart, home school or not.” 

“Maybe,” you agree dully and check your list. 

“Marshall?” A deep timbre undercuts the next item written down, “figures I run into you.” A man appears at Walter’s other side. “Getting that piss you call coffee.” 

“Chris,” Walter greets flatly. 

“Don’t act so happy to see me,” the man retorts. “How’s classes? You suspend anyone yet? I know it’s the first day but I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

“Haha,” Walter drones sarcastically. 

The man puts his hand on the shelve and as he leans, his eyes fall on you. He’s a tiny bit shorter than Walter but still taller than you. And his dark hair is slightly fluffy and a thick beard darkens his square jaw. His irises are bright and blue. 

“Oops, I’m interrupting,” he says. 

“Doing some shopping,” Walter answers. 

“Don’t tell me you’re in one of his classes. Good luck.” The other man chirps. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Walter girds. 

“Him? Chris,” the man reaches across Walter’s front and offers his hand. “And you... TA?” 

“Mauve,” you shake his hand gently as his covers yours completely. His grip is strong and firm. “Um, we’re... I...” you hesitate as you try to come up with some sort of explanation. “We just met but Walter’s been so helpful. I’m new here so I don’t my way around yet.” 

“Walter being helpful? And who wouldn’t be for you, Mauve?” The man grins. 

“Chris,” Walter growls and angles away from him, “what else is on your list?” 

“Erm, bread,” you flick it nervously with your thumb, the other man peer around Walter at you. 

“Nice to see you, then, Marshall,” he says. 

“Mm, you too,” Walter doesn’t look back as he marches past you.  

You smile at Chris and give a tiny wave before you follow the larger man back down the aisle. You catch up to him as the list crinkles in your hand, “is that a friend?” You ask. 

“Kinda,” he shrugs. “He’s in Psych too. Sometimes we teach 304 together.” 

“Oh. Cool. Must be nice to get to work with others like that,” you say. “He seems nice.” 

“Nice? Chris?” He echoes. “Can be, I guess.” 

“Oh, okay,” you accept. 

“Mauve, you’re a nice girl. You think everyone is nice. Just like that guy in the Student Centre, right?” He says. 

“Well, he wasn’t mean.” 

“No, because he was trying to trick you,” he turns down another aisle and stops by the small cans of fish. “I’m not trying to scare you, I’m just looking out for you. Guys like the one who sat at your table, they aren’t nice. Colleges aren’t full of nice guys.” 

Your lips fall straight and you nod. You pick out a can of tuna as you try to hide your anxiety. You know he’s right. At the orientation, they told you how to call Campus Police and about those buttons on the polls that set off the sirens to signal help. And you’ve seen the news stories. Your mom couldn’t stop watching them before you left. 

“My mom told me the same,” you say. 

“She’s a smart woman. You wanna stay safe for her, right? She must be very worried to have you so far away, huh?” He drawls. You nod. “So, how about I keep an eye on you? Just so you can call and tell her everything’s good.” 

“I think... yeah, that’s a good idea,” you agree. “Walter...” 

“Yes?” He raises the basket for you to put the cans of tuna inside. 

“Are we friends now?” 

You peek up at him and you’re surprised to see his lips curve, just a little, “sure.” 

[rileyslibrary]

“You need to.”

“Need is a strong word, soldier; I need water, food, and sleep.” He states and points at the bunny costume you’re holding. “Now, this, I don’t need to do.”

“Come on, Lt., do it for the kids!” You beg.

He looks out the window at the funfair outside. Christmas, Easter, and Halloween festivities are held yearly at the local park, and the military base is expected to contribute somehow. Things like cooking and baking for example, or helping with the construction of the rides, and assisting with the general operations, were a few of the tasks you had to undertake. Apart from the famous egg hunt, the community has organized a variety of other activities this year, including egg and spoon races, potato sack races, and pony rides.

“Why don’t you put it on then if you care so much about the kids?”

“I’m on face-painting duty.”

“Why can’t I do the face-painting?” He asks, pointing at his black-painted, camouflaged eyes.

“We talked about this, Lt.,” you say and extend the costume to him, “you were the chosen one.”

The phrase ‘the chosen one’ was an exaggerated one but, in some ways, accurate. A few days before such events, the base held a raffle to determine who would perform as Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. This year’s ‘lucky’ winner happened to be Ghost. You never did that for Halloween though, since there wasn’t an official ‘mascot’ apart from the pumpkins, and according to the Captain, “you were all monsters anyway.”

“I bet Soap planned all this,” he snaps, pointing to the fair outside, “I bet he rigged the raffle and wrote my name on every single ticket: Riley, Riley, Riley, Ri-”

He stops upon hearing your long sigh. “Soap would never do something like that,” you shake your head.

“Oh, yeah?” he asks, peering out the window again. “Where is he anyway?”

“He’s helping the kids at the shooting gallery,” you admit and quickly regret it.

“I’d be great at teaching kids how to aim!” he yells, raising both hands, “why does he get to do that?”

“You’d be the star of the show, Ghost!” you encourage him as you wiggle the suit. “The Easter Bunny!”

“I don’t want to be a star, soldier,” he snaps, shooing the costume away, “plus, I hate dressing up.”

“Um, Lt., sir?”

“Hm?”

“You’re wearing a mask with a skull on.” You murmur, raising your brows.

“That’s for a different reason, and you know it.” He stiffens and narrows his eyes at you.

You must come up with a solution quickly. There’s no way to persuade an grown ass man, especially a frightening one like Ghost, to dress up in a fluffy costume and cosplay as an imaginary character if he doesn’t want to.

“You can’t go outside with that cover of yours, especially on Easter,” you explain. “Now, this, on the other hand, comes with a full mask on...” You say and lift the bunny costume by the shoulders.

He groans and rolls his eyes. That’s his way of contemplating the idea.

You shrug and look at the costume. “I’d consider it a deal, to be honest.”

He looks at the costume, then back at you, takes the costume from your hands without saying a word, and goes to the toilet to get changed.

A short while later, he returns, this time in the form of a 6.5-foot-tall, fluffy, white bunny with pink ears. His hands—or rather, his paws—are hidden in the costume’s pockets, and he diverts his masked face away from you.

You swallow your laughter and nod vigorously in response.

“So, what do I do now?” he asks defensively. 

“Just act like the Easter Bunny.”

His ears and whiskers wiggle as he turns to face you. “How does the Easter Bunny act, soldier?”

That’s an excellent question. See, the Easter Bunny is cheerful and quite energetic. Ghost, on the other hand... well, let’s just say he’s doing a pretty good job on Halloween at the House of Horrors.

“J-just wave at the kids, Lt.,”  you shrug and hand him a basket full of Cadbury creme eggs, “and blow the occasional kiss.”

“Like this?” he asks naively and pats the mask’s buck teeth with his paw.

“Yes sir,” you reply, looking down at the floor to hide your smile, “exactly like this.”

[nomsfaultau]

Philza Malewife Competition Round 9

Previous rounds: Cleaning. Cooking. Decorating. Karens. Sick Day. Eggs. Hugs. Venting. Current points: The Lambs Wolves Wear (2), Lighting Lanterns (1), Weight in Gold (2), Fault (2), everyone else (0). And an honorary point to qsmp for a guest appearance.

For a quick synopsis for the fics I’m referencing- those are here

Next round: Handy man! Broke a Samsung Smart Fridge? Giant magical explosion? No problem! These Phils are on the job, dedicating their experience and skills to crafting, repairing, and home improvement!

GOLDEN APPLES (Gilded Atrophy): Well this Philza did repair all of L'Manburg after withers, tnt, and however many wars occurred. If he could patch up a crater, he can fix just about anything. This includes lovely walkways and infrastructure, beautiful residencies for the refugees of the nation, stunning air balloon lanterns, and overall just the prettiest town ever seen on the server. It's all developed from his centuries of knowledge, though might be a little slow since he's building it all by hand while his wings are recovering from the blast damage. If he can fix a country, he can fix anything. Also patches up creeper holes <3

The LAMBS Wolves Wear: He lives in an old house (built by his great great grandparents) and is used to fixing things up by hand. Doesn't have much in the way of materials, but can chop down trees or make rudimentary replacements. And given "Tommy" keeps destroying the house, he's putting those skills to use....or would, if "Wilbur" isn't refusing to let him, insisting on plastering illusions to 'fix' everything. So, now it's broken, and you can't tell it is until it's too late.

MANDATORY FAMILY REUNION: Hahahahhah......he has a check for 200k to make this go away..?

Where do BABIES come from?: "Heyyyy Dad? Could you swing by, I think my fridge is broken. And the shower, and backdoor, and- DID YOU START A FIRE IN THE WASTE BASKET?! Sorry, I- oh yeah, I have news about new...roommates?" Essentially, this dude just got out of college, does not have money for a repair person, and is replying on his own dad to dad for him. Also forgot to tell his family he now has...four kids? And counting?? So that'll be fun....

LIGHTING LANTERNS to Bring You Home: "Mmm I'm reading. Technoblade I humbly fall in supplication in need of your godly power blah blah fix it for me. "HAEH?! Your words fall upon closed ears for I am a god of Work, not of lazying about!" "Fascinating. I did not realize you were incapable." "NAY! VERILY I AM THE MOST CAPABLE!" "uh huh prove it. Do I win the tournament now?"

Worth far more than you WEIGHT IN GOLD: He has made a very fluffy nest! (this is all he is capable of building). Like technically he can use rudimentary tools...but that's kinda it.

LORD what fools these mortals be!: Poof. He conjures up the finest of new rooms. The ceiling is infinitely high and sparkles with constellations. There are floating steps and magic candles and waterfalls for bed curtains and jewel trees and just about any magic you can imagine. Doesn't show much hard work, though.

FAULT: Philza reveals a lot of craftiness and resourcefulness within Fault. He is shown carving a reed based woodwind instrument for Wilbur, tanning rabbit hide and creating sinew thread for a dagger sheath, contributing metallurgy abilities to the crafting of Tubbos' prosthetic legs, and constructing fairly serviceable tarp tens for everyone while on the run. Has lots of experience from building houses, crazy knowledge for all sorts of time period based skills, trades, architecture trends, etc. However doesn't currently particularly have a house to do home repair in.

I thiiiiink next round will be the Maid Outfit round but that will take a bit because I’m planning full drawings for each one.