#dick: B oh my god.......
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#just got back from the salon✨#just got my nails done 💅#bitches be hating#i look FABULOUS 💅💅😩😩#dick: B oh my god.......#jason: I don't know that man#tim:...........☕👀 ok maybe i had too much caffeine cause what the fuck...#Damian: Batman who? that ain't my father
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Prompt in Memes 4
Another prompt, but in memes because trying to gather my thoughts is hard sometimes lol.
#prompts#memes#batman au#batman#cryptid batman#cryptid batfam#cryptid batfamily#batfamily#batfam prompts#batfam#Bruce: This surely will be fine :)#Dick: Gotham made me like they made B :)#League: the what did what now#Barbara: I formed from his tech & could get away with all your murders :)#Jason: I am the embodiment of Crime Alley and Retribution :)#Cass: I am Gotham's shadow :)#Tim: Oh I'm a child :)#The league: Oh thank fuck a normal child-#Tim: Well at least my body is a child but TECHNICALLY-#Steph: I'm his twin and the other side of his Chaos :)#Duke: Hi I'm the Bat Signal :)#Damian: I am the blood son#The League: Oh gods he means that literally doesn't he like some sort of creature made entirely from blood-#Bruce: I am not sure why I expected this Not to escalate but it's too far to go back now#Why yes they can all fit in his cape even when they become older and no one knows how or why#If they even age I mean Gotham could just be Like that where people sometimes stop aging#Kind of like what's going on in Fawcett just more goth#meme
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Top 3 Ugliest Jason Todd Costumes
According to 2,375 votes on this very accurate and correct website!
Without further ado, in third place...
3. The Batman Ninja Thing
With 9.9% of votes! This costume was featured in the 2018 animated movie Batman Ninja.
Anti-Batman Ninja:
#the batman ninja one is just straight up ridiculous
#BATMAN NINJA MY BELOATHED
#seeing the ninja one for the first time#what
Pro-Batman Ninja:
#the batman ninja thing are camp and i love them
#batman ninja is a work of art
#the people voting for batman ninja are weak#and it's called a tengai
In second place, we have...
2. Mouth Helmet
With 33% of votes! This costume was featured in the New 52.
Anti-Mouth Helmet
#mouth helmet just looks like a nightmare
#mouth helmet is just plain ugly. no redeeming qualities to it
#mouth helmet#it was that or pill but at least pill isnt like suctioned onto his face
#mouth helmet is just irredeemably cringe
(I had so much to choose from. Mouth helmet you did not win this poll but you have the loudest hate faction by a mile!)
Pro-Mouth Helmet:
#dont like the mouth helmet but at least the rest of the outfit brings it a better score. and its not SO bad i guess.
#at least mouth helmet has a cool outfit
#mouth is.....a choice and not the correct one but not as bad as pill
Last, and I guess least, we have...
1. Pillhead!
With a clean sweep of 46.5% of votes! This costume was featured in Batman and Robin (2009).
Anti-Pillhead:
#pillhead is just… it doesn’t give Jason#and it’s awful
#pillhead easily... at least the mouth helmet looks like his original design of you squint
#everything about pillhead was comically bad
#There is no suit ik existence I hate more than pillhead
Pro-Pillhead:
#I love pillhead tbh#pillhead 4eva
#i am in the minority because i think the grant morrison costume is camp#supervillain vibes. he was going through something in that run
#pillhead at least has some cunty-ness to it
#pilhead is ridonk but has some measure of class
Although Pillhead swept, there was a lot of Pillhead defense in the notes so it also has its fans and defenders. So even if you don't agree between the top two, pretty much everyone agreed Mouth Helmet and Pillhead are the worst!
Check out the full results here. The ones that got the least votes are Original Red Hood and Rebirth, which each got 0.9%!
#jason todd#batman#red hood#poll#so mouth helmet haters how are we feeling#because i fully expected it to sweep#i get it. i get that the rest of the outfit isn't that bad. i get pillhead being ridiculous#but it's a HELMET WITH A MOUTH#it freaked me out so bad when i saw it in b&r eternal#i literally had to look away and go 'oh my god'#at least with pillhead i just laughed!!#also people who voted robin... are you guys dan didio in disguise :( that was dick's outfit :(#anyway thanks for indulging this ridiculous poll the notes were all hilarious
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mental health community try not to demonize cluster B challenge (impossible)
#i hate yall so much oh my god#empaths suck my fucking dick you have no idea what we go through#cluster b#bpd#npd#aspd#hpd
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Lmao okay wait. I got asked that question about Feyre/Bryce/Aelin and I went down a lil rabbit hole and somehow ended up on a subreddit of people arguing over who would win in a fight if it were Feyre vs. Aelin.
And I am CACKLING right now because it seems like the bulk of people on that thread think Aelin would win, and the people who think Feyre would win are SO. UPSET. Like they are BIG MAD that anyone would think Aelin would win hahahahahaha
I'm cackling. I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard omfg. People really do 100% project themselves onto Feyre. They really think they ARE Feyre!!!!! I'm crying. Send help I can't breathe 😂��
#lmao it's so stupid#idek how I ended up here#but I am just CRYING at these people LOSING THEIR MINDS 😭#these are old threads to be fair#but it's funny as fuck seeing everyone get so butthurt omg#what a nice little comedic rabbit hole that was#10/10 would highly recommend#the funniest part is that the people who think aelin would win are conceding to certain points#but the people who think feyre would win are losing their minds ahhaahahahaha#i'm being such a dick today my bad you guys#i don't even have an excuse for being a dick#my b my b#update: someone said feyre wins against aelin because she can wear a cruel mask#i genuinely can't stop laughing pls send help#(I feel the need to clarify that I literally don't care about this debate but BOY OH BOY...#(...am I having a TIME seeing ppl who think they ARE Feyre argue about this ahhh this is so fun omg)#oh god I hope a feyre or feysand stan sends me hate for this post#PLSSSSSS
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Being able to say "this is fucking stupid" and move on from something on the internet has been instrumental, but oh my god it's still such a pain in the ass to think about it nonstop for the next 20 minutes
#Vent tw#I kind of don't want to say what this was about because It's A Show That People Get Death Threats Over#And frankly I already feel guilty about liking it even though I'm highly critical (HIGHLY CRITICAL.) of it#But like oh my actual fucking god#YES some shows should not be watched in the first place. Some of them undeniably suck!! What the creators have done is bad!!#Shit like AoT is propaganda and South Park and Family Guy reduce your capacity for kindness. So do similar things.#But we also A) can't judge everyone who watches them because there ARE good apples#And B) FICTIVES FROM DOGSHIT SOURCES ARE FINE PEOPLE 90% OF THE TIME!!!!!! **SHUT UP!!!!!!!**#One side of this argument needs to get some fucking media literacy and criticality#And the other side need to stop sucking Viv's dick and get their proshipper heads out of their proshipper asses.
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im gonna be 'that guy' for a second
the comments in warnergames that got everybody so upset are not a big deal and actually pretty in character? what is the big fuss
#delete later probably#i know were all used to fandom goggles after eons of waiting for the new season but#a) the warners are siblings who if youve ever been around irl often regularly gently playbully one another#b) this isnt even a new thing the reboot introduced#c) you can love someone and be a dick from time to time its okay#we all know yakko and dot would kill each other at the slightest inconvenience#hell dot HAS killed yakko onscreen#and#d) oh my god it literally does not matter theyre cartoon characters belonging to a company known for its rude and meanspirited humor#not that its bad to react strongly when a character you like gets shat on but sometimes its like idk take a moment to step back
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the only real major difference between rgg and y7 arakawa's wardrobe is how he wears his coat + bling and the scarf but it's such a difference
#snap chats#like with jo it's pretty much an entirely difference guy not just design but personality wise (borrowing from the previous still tho obvi)#but masumi just tones it down in y7.......#'snap what got you thinkin a this. and why are you tapping yuor keyboard so fuckin aggressively?????'#FIRST OFF i'm COLD. fun fact after my dad decided to confront my mom bout cheating he had to sleep in the basement for months#before he moved of course. and now im really grasping how awful that must have been#LIKE BEING BOOTED TO THE BASEMENT FOR DOING NOTHING WRONG SUCKS ANYWAY BUT god im freezing#ironic... im down here cause i dont want to see my ma.... history repeats im just like my father etc etc ANYWAYS NOT THE POINT#SORRYYYYYYY MAIN POINT TIME. SORRY. MAIN POINT.#i wanted to draw arakawa with his rgg outfit more. like i already dick around with daigo's outfit when i draw him#it wouldnt even be dicking around if i did it for arakawa... just choosin to draw the previous outfit#at the very least i might steal the barcelets and his shirt because his rgg shirt is a different style#also it's more open. PEEPAW.#i totally forgot to mention on the last time i drew his outfit#but if you saw me using the same purple and pink i use for jo no you didnt. but you did look at it right now#every time i think of rgg arakawa's outfit though i just hear mirror b's theme from pokemon gales of darkness#this is a compliment because mirror b is ALSO incredibly swaggy oh my god i have to listen to his theme brb#my disappointment when i grew up and found out mirror b wasn't a girl though. because for some reason i thought he was a girl#and just ignored every instance of referring to him as a guy.#alright im done being insane i have to sketch a thing then im gonna uhhhhhhhhhhhh watch stuff the rest of the night :) BYE
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.
#remember when last year I thought I was in love#with a 22 year old man who couldn’t hold a job#HA BITCH#I was goofy for that frfr#now#I am free of the hold this man had on me#oh how the times change#o how I’ve changed#but I’m SO HAPPY AND proud of myself#learned so much this year#pce luv n joy#:*#the only good thing about that situationship was that he put me on to $b#now it’s g59 to the grave#on god!!#ngl tho#dick was ungodly#SHIT Hit#rip 2 my fav lil goofy goober
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nsfw headcanons and kinks of harry potter characters
ft. harry, ron, cedric, fred, george, draco, blaise, theodore, tom, hermione, pansy
a/n: well there is obviously a lot of SMUT, also it's a female reader
༺☆༻
⤷ Harry - lingerie
harry for sure loves when you wear some nice pair of lingerie, he finds it so hot when the nice lace hugs your body so perfectly. every time when he's out, he looks for some new pair of lingerie that he would buy you. oh yeah he buys you every single pair but one time, you surprised him on his b-day with red pair of lingerie (like gryffindor theme lingerie) and he was hard within seconds.
"oh- oh my fucking god, you look amazing sweetheart. do a spin for me please- slowly, i wanna see how pretty you look in this" harry hummed while he sat on his bed with you slowly turning in front of him. he could feel his hard dick pressing against his pants, pre-cum already making his boxers dirty. he brushed his hand over his erection before he hummed again. "come closer baby, i wanna touch you..."
⤷ Ron - body worship
ron was very unexperienced at the start, you were basically his first everything, first girlfriend, first kiss, first lover. so when was the first time you two had sex, he was just so mesmerized by your whole body that he had to watch himself for not cumming into his pants just from the sight of your naked body. you are gorgeous in his eyes, more than that! from that time it kinda sticked with him, every time you two have sex now, he has to worship you before anything, he wants you to know how beautiful you are on his eyes...
you could feel ron's hands tracing soft patterns over your sides while his eyes were glued to your boobs. "bloody hell, baby you are so beautiful.. " he mumbled while he moved his big palms over your boobs, squeezing them lightly. "i can't belive how lucky i'm to have you, now let me make you feel good." he added before he took off your panties and kissed his way down to your pretty cunt.
⤷ Cedric - praise kink
cedric is overall very vocal when you two have sex, he either growls, hums, groans, breaths heavily or he's mumbling praises to you. he really cannot help himself when he sees you all spread under him; your legs wrapped around him, your hands scratching his back while he holds your hips and is thrusting into you, mercilessly. he always makes sure that you can hear him properly so he usually leans closer to you, brushing his lips over your ear in soft kisses, whispering praise right into your ear.
"you're doing so good princess, taking all of me like this..." he whispers into your ear, his hips are crushing against yours, his dick hitting every right spot while you're a moaning mess under him. "you feel so good, i can't get enough of you, my sweet girl.." he groans again into your ear while his tempo isn't slowing down.
⤷ Fred - public sex
fred is thrilled with the idea of getting caught, it's the adrenaline and the possessivness from him screaming, i mean he wants people to know that you're his, that you chose him and that only HE makes you feel this good. so you two usually have sex somewhere around hogwarts. empty classroom, broom closet, empty gryffindor common room, bathroom, you name it.
"shh baby, be quiet you don't want anybody to catch us, do you?" he smirks while he has you seated on a desk in empty potion class. both of you are skipping class so it's pretty quiet outside on the hallways, anyone who will walk past can hear you. he doesn't care how loud you are because he doesn't care if you two get caught, he just wants to tease you. even tho you try to be quiet, you can't help yourself and moan again. "naughty girl yeah, let everybody know how good i make you feel..."
⤷ George - orgasm denial
george loves the face you make when he pushes you to the edge but just seconds before you're about to cum, he slows down his moves or stops completely, kissing your skin instead. he also loves teasing you but the way you get all pouty and squeeze around him when he denies you your orgasm is just something he can never get tired of. but eventually he'll let you cum and it's always the best orgasm ever.
he was thrusting into you in the perfect rhythm when you felt the familiar knot forming inside your belly, but just when the knot was about to release, he stopped. instead he immediately pressed his lips against your chest, kissing you around your boobs. "i know baby, i know... i'll give you what you want but god- when you squeeze around me like this, i can't help myself."
⤷ Draco - daddy kink
draco has big daddy issues so many of you could say that he'd hate being called daddy but he actually loves it. it makes him feel good, powerful and in control which he never was while being back home so... when you started calling him like this, he didn't let you stop. he sees you as his blessing and he wants to protect you with everything he has, like a good daddy should protect his precious baby.
"you're such a good girl for daddy, princess..." draco huffed while he was buried deep inside you. his hands were pressing your knees to your chest which made you ass go little up, letting him hit the perfect spot inside you. "yes, tell me who's your daddy? mhmf-..." he continues while you're mumbling under him. he loves when those sweet words leave your pretty mouth, it almost always makes him cum in seconds.
⤷ Blaise - bondage
blaise loves seeing how your flesh presses under the bondage, making your thighs and boobs look even more soft and squishy than they already are. he either bondages your whole body or only ankles and wrists so you can't move, but he loves both equaly. he always takes his time when he's wrapping the rope around your body but he also always makes sure that everything he does is comfortable to you, it could be dangerous for you and he doesn't wanna hurt you.
"you feelin' good, babe?" he speaks while his long fingers are brushing over your inner thighs, his eyes basically glued to the plush of them. he could feel his hard dick twitching in his boxers, leaving a small wet mark over the fabric so he quickly strokes himself before he continues. "you look so pretty like this, all just for me... take a deep breath, babe, just like this..."
⤷ Theodore - deep throat
there is nothing more theo loves more than when you are on your knees, your glassy looking up at him with tears falling down your cheeks while he hears how you are gagging on his dick. he doesn't care if you have good or bad gagging reflex, you can take it for him. if it's very serious and you just have to take a quick pause, he'll let you rest for like 30s before pushing you down on his dick again, this time little deeper than before. and when you let him cum into your mouth, you got yourself "bonus" orgasm.
"ngh- fuck baby-... your tongue feels so good around me, mhmm..." he hums while his head falls down between his shoulder blades with his fingers being tangled in your hair, pushing your head lower on his dick. his groans and moans are non-stopping while he can feel himself getting closer and closer. when he looks down at you and sees your pretty, bambi eyes already staring at him, he can feel himself cum. "oh dio-... now swallow for me, amore."
⤷ Tom - choking
choking makes feel tom in control, in control of your life while he brings you the best pleasure of your life. he can feel your pulse point under his thumb while you make this incredibly fuckable face, it drives him wild and incredibly horny. he can feel your heartbeat while he also makes you feel so good, it makes him feel powerful and he's hungry for power, any kind of power. but he'd never let you pass out, that's a big no for him.
he thrusted inside and out of you, mercilessly, while he had his hand firmly wrapped around you neck, perfectly feeling how was your heart beating through your pulse point. "oh are you about to cum? yeah, cum for me, my love..." he growled when his grip got tighter, making your eyes close in pleasure. you were still moaning under him which made him go little faster. with all of this, he came as well.
⤷ Hermione - thigh riding
hermione loves when she can multitask, it's somehow comforting to her. so one time when you found her in the library, learning for some up coming test, writing into her books; you sat on her thigh, wanting to distract her, she was hooked. she loved the feeling of you on her thigh, pleasuring yourself while she could write some notes into her textbook. from that time, she loved it and she often pulls you onto her lap with her thigh in perfect position for your pussy.
she wrote the last words into her book before her hands grabbed your hips, making you move faster, making your pussy spread over her thigh. "mhm you feel good like this? yes, you do? oh i know... come on, little faster." she mumbled into your ear, kissing you all the way down to your neck while her nails dug into your soft hips making you moan.
⤷ Pansy - face-sitting
pansy is literally obsessed with your pussy and all the noises you make when her tongue is buried deep inside you. she loves to explore all your folds because every time her tongue presses against a new spot, you squeeze your thighs around her head which makes her rub her thighs against each other. her eyes are glued on you the whole time while she presses her nose against your clit.
"mhmh come on-..." she quickly mumbles before she pushes your hips more onto her mouth while her tongue pushes deep inside you. her hands helped your hips slowly move back and forth while her tongue was licking each of your folds, swallowing each of your juice that she got on her tongue. your moans filled her ears and she could see you were getting closer which made her tongue work even faster.
#sivyera's masterlist#sivyera masterlist#sivyera#x reader#sivyera update#sivyera's writing#x fem!reader#x fem reader#harry potter#harry potter x reader#harry potter x reader smut#ron weasley#ron weasley x reader#ron weasley x reader smut#harry potter smut#ron weasley smut#cedric diggory#cedric diggory x reader#cedric diggory x reader smut#cedric diggory smut#fred weasley#fred weasley x reader#fred weasley x reader smut#fred weasley smut#george weasley#george weasley x reader#george weasley x reader smut#george weasley smut#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy x reader smut
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━━ ❝ GOOD MORNING, BABY !! ❞
☾₊‧⁺...ft. : g. satoru + g. suguru + n. kento + f. toji + k. choso + t. fumihiko
☾₊‧⁺...cw : somnophilia (pre-agreed on), thigh fucking, penetrative sex, pre-established relationship, dirty talk, praise and degradation, mommy kink, breeding kink, satoru and toji are just filthy, choso is so cute and needy, kento is the sweetest husband, it's just really fucking dirty im not sorry
☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : which jjk characters would fuck your thighs while you're sleeping bc they're horny but don't wanna wake you up !!
who does it to tease you ↴
✧ g. satoru ; satoru tries to wake you up, but you just don't want to. and by try, he means he blew into your ear just for you to huff and smack him away, grumbling to let you sleep or you'd bite him. ohh, you are so cute, he just really can't help himself
“look at my pretty girl, such a mess…tsk, wish she'd wake up, now i gotta fuck her soft, pretty thighs instead of that pretty lil' pussy." “aww, your pussy 's so noisy! listen t' her...she's all wet, she's cryin' f'me to fuck her, isn't she? aww, poor thing...” “ooh, are you cumming, baby? cumming in your sleep like a slutty little girl while I fuck your thighs, so precious…”
✧ g. suguru ; suguru's hands move up and down your soft curves while he grinds against your thighs, quiet, sticky noises sounding in the room. you're so adorable, he wants to shake you awake but teasing you with his thick cock nudging against your clit is so much more fun
“you’ve always been so responsive, i didn’t think my dick between your thighs would get you like this, princess.” “oh? was that my name? don’t tell me you’re having a wet dream about me. so dirty, baby, thinking of me like that while sleeping when I’m right here with you.” “don’t you wanna wake up and move my cock somewhere other than your thighs? c'mon, princess, wake up for me.”
who does it because they are desperate ↴
✧ k. choso ; not outright fucking you is painful, but he doesn’t want to wake you up. He’s so fucking hard, that dream affected him more than he thought, and before he knew it, he was fucking your thighs, not caring how loud he was being.
“baby, baby, fuck, hoohmygodd, please! need y'so bad, so fuckin' soft, so soft, fuck, could d' this to you all the time, never wanna stop, p-please, god, 'm gonna cum all over you-!” “sticky fuckin' p-pussy's beggin' me t' fuck it, b-but wanna see you look at me. c'mon, c-c'monnn, please wake up, let me stick it in, o-or 'm gonna waste it a-and cum all over your cunt.” “oh, mmh, ’m cumming, ’m cumming, baby, i-i’ll clean y' up after, g'nna fuck you again 'n' again 'n' againnn, fuck, ’m cumming-!”
✧ t. fumihiko ; poor thing, fumihiko honestly tries to deal with it by himself, trying to just jerk off in the bathroom, but it doesn't work. he knew what he needed, he needed you, needed to touch and feel you around him. with shaky hands holding your thighs, he slides his aching cock between your thighs, moaning so cutely…and when you wake up and start cooing to him, he absolutely loses himself.
“i’m-i’m gonna mess you up so bad, been wantin’ to leave you a mess for so long, so fucking long, 'm g-gonna cum all over your pretty thighs. 's okay, right? right? mmh, okay, 'm gonna do it, 'm gonna cum on 'em.” “y-yeah, yeah, fuck, your thighs are so soft, feel so good around my cock, gonna cum all over them, m-ma'am.” “'s so much cum, i can’t stop cumming, m-mommy, ’m losing my mind, love your thighs, they're so soft, s' soft, thank you, thank you, thank you-!”
who wakes you up ↴
✧ f. toji ; it’s not uncommon for toji to wake up in the middle of the night, cock hard in his sweats. can you blame the guy when he's sleeping next to the sexiest woman he's ever laid his eyes on. he thanks whatever god there is for giving him a wife like you who lets him fuck your soft thighs until you wake up up so he can stuff you full of cum instead of wasting it on your stomach.
“’s time to wake up, mama, don’ ya wan' me t' fuck your needy cunt 'stead of these pretty thighs?” “aw, y'look soooo cute and dumb right now…my pretty thing. c'mon, spread those legs for me, mama, toji's gonna take care of ya.” “did y' dream 'bout me fucking your thighs? yeah? mm, you’re takin' my cock like you wanted me t' fuck you awake…hm? you want that next time? mm, i’ll keep it in mind, baby girl, now shut up and let me fuck you dumb.”
✧ n. kento ; he usually only does this when he’s very very frustrated from working, coming home to see his pretty baby in one of his button-ups sleeping, thighs out in the open. he can’t help himself, softly calling your name as he slides his hard cock slowly in and out between your thighs, giving you soft smile when you wake up.
“sorry to wake you, darling, I know it’s late, but I need you. you just...look so beautiful, i couldn't help himself.” “you were responding so cutely in your sleep…would you rather I be inside you? ask nicely, honey, and I’ll give you what you want. you know a good husband does whatever his wife asks.” “so, so pretty like this, i could fuck you for days. should i do that, my sweet girl? mm, maybe i should take tomorrow off and keep you in bed all take, make sure that my seed takes. what do you think, sweetheart, you want me to give you a baby?”
all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
#gojo satoru smut#geto suguru smut#choso smut#kamo choso smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji smut#nanami kento smut#nanami smut#nanami x you#nanami kento x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#takaba fumihiko smut#takaba fumihiko x reader#takaba x reader#erm !! what the scallop !!#˗ˏˋ ★ lxnarworks .ᐟ
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Lois finding out Bruce's secret identity and using/abusing his expertise on crime and weird combat shit to ask him questions for background on random pieces she's assigned to.
"Hey hotshot. Quick question. Hypothetically, can you, or can you not, die from a punch to the throat."
"Hello, Lois. Nice to hear from you again."
"No, I don't think you heard me. Throat punching. Is that a thing?"
"A thing?"
"Can someone die if you punch them hard enough in the throat? Google says maybe."
"Looking it up on Google. That's a new low for you, isn't it?"
"The new low for me was thinking you'd take this conversation seriously. I need a yes or no answer, Bruce."
"..."
"I can hear you typing. Are you Googling it now?"
"Give me some parameters."
"I don't know, hard? If you punched them hard enough, could they die?"
"There would be some edema present, subsequent to blunt force trauma. Shortness of breath. Other delayed sequelae."
"So no?"
"Maybe."
"What if I punched them really really hard? Would it be instantaneous then?"
"Lois, I'm getting the impression this isn't much of a hypothetical anymore."
"Completely unrelated follow up question: can you break someone's neck if you punch them hard enough?"
"Lois."
"I just need a yes or no on this one. Promise."
"Lois."
"I'm not asking if you've ever done it, I'm asking if it's possible."
"...What does Google say?"
"To suck my dick, I'm on deadline."
"That new AI is testy."
"Are you going to be like this every time I call you?"
"Like this?"
"Yes or no answer, Bruce. Five seconds. I know you're holding it back. You're dying to tell me."
"I'm dying to tell you something you can Google?"
(five minutes later, Bruce's phone buzzes with a screenshot of a text conversation between Lois and a very confused Clark whose only response was "...I think so??? ask B")
Lois: final chance, yes or no
Bruce: Running to Clark is a choice.
Lois: oh god, you text with periods too?
Bruce: Yes.
Lois: yes throat punching or yes you text with periods?
Lois: Bruce
Lois: BRUCE
#mini fic#myfic#theresurrectionist#bruce wayne#batman#dc#clark kent#lois lane#clois#superman#clark is sir not appearing in this#I think this is a sign i should be writing huh#if it's just dialogue ideas non stop
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THE HORNIEST
↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader
Summary : Horny!Gojo needs you so bad, he's insatiable. A menace.
Warnings : minors do not read/interact : smut/explicit content, it's very horny lol, not proofread, c*mshots and creampies, unprotected sex, multiple rounds, implied drunk sex
Note : lmk if you want more horny gojo lol 👍 reqs open!! anyways lol the title cracks me up. he ain't the strongest he's the horniest :(
Horny!Gojo introduces himself to you in the flirtiest way possible, cooing a sweet and drunk "Who invited the goddess?" into your ear. He's sat on the couch with you, one night at a stupid frat party. Starstruck by you. And your reciprocation made his chest feel fluttery for the first time in years. It also made his dick stand up in his pants.
Horny!Gojo leans into you for the whole night, whispering flirty things and dirty jokes into your ear like his mind is a factory pumping them out. You match his playful energy so well, he says "I think we're made for each other."
Horny!Gojo has his sharp eyes wandering to your thighs, then your shoulders, then your lips as you speak — and he licks his lips to wet them.
Horny!Gojo showers you in compliment after compliment, relishing in your reactions and getting greedier; he needs to get you alone. "Wanna go someplace quieter?" he has to shout over the music to ask you.
Horny!Gojo assures you with cocky confidence, "Yeah, I could make you cum. Aw, don't give me that eyeroll, it's turning me on. I know for a fucking fact I could make you cum. I could make those eyes roll back. I could make your legs shake."
Horny!Gojo squeezes your hand tightly when he leads you upstairs, and giggles with you as the two of you escape into a quiet, empty bedroom. His heart is panging so hard in his chest. His body feels electric. He's so horny it's the only thing he can focus on.
Horny!Gojo whimpers when you crash your lips into his. He starts making out wildly with you like he's a sex-deprived loser. Because he is. A sex-deprived, touch-starved college boy.
Horny!Gojo hits those deep, hard strokes with no breaks just to destroy you. He never lets up. Never stops to have a breather or lets you catch your own breath. "Working up a sweat b—abyyy? Too much dick stuffing your little cunt? Yeah? Is it too much? Too big? Too deep? Fuck, you're gonna squeeze my dick off, haha, calm down. It's just a little dirty talk."
Horny!Gojo murmurs into your ear, "All I wanna do is make you finish over and over again." desperation and conviction in his voice. He really just wanted to fuck you into bliss, have you dumb on his fat cock, have you squirming and whimpering and going feral for him.
Horny!Gojo pins you down like a beast but also pounds into you like he's the bitch in heat. "Oh my god oh my god yes yes yes fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckkkk that pussy's so fuckin' gooooodddd" he's a mess, just swearing and moaning like a broken record.
Horny!Gojo almost sobs your name into your mouth when he cums, draining every drop of cum that he's worked up for you in the past hour.
Horny!Gojo turns his creampies into whipped cream with his thrusts, smacking his hips so hard into you that you feel his balls slap against your ass. They're so heavy and full, makes you think that if you weren't on birth control you'd definitely get knocked up with just one of his fat nuts.
Horny!Gojo goes round after round, becoming a melting sweaty mess of a man and feeling his muscles tire out. He pins you to the bed with his whole weight, and gives you his all just to show off a little.
Horny!Gojo has such a strained but enthusiastic voice after fucking you into next year with his dick. "Wow... that pussy's so fucking creamy." he grins toothily. A sweat drop beads off his cheek. His bangs are stuck messily to his forehead, some brushed to the side.
Horny!Gojo is insatiable, he calls you long after the party, over and over, shows up at your door and relishes in how his horniness rubs off on you. He's always a giggly mess in bed with you.
Horny!Gojo needs you so bad some days that he comes to you straight after his workout at the gym, no shower just sweaty gym boy abs, and fucks you as a way to "push his limits" for like three hours.
Horny!Gojo needs to cum everywhere he can. It's like he has a cumshot checklist. Thighs? Yes. Tummy? Yes. Ass? Yes. Chest? Yes. Face? Yes. Pussylips? Yes. Hands? Yes. In your panties? Yes.
Horny!Gojo is so fucking cute when he kisses you after sex, nuzzling your neck like a cat and telling you how good you treat him with that five star pussy.
Horny!Gojo jerks himself alone when you can't come over :( always to you, of course. Sexts like a menace. He's a bit too good at it.
Horny!Gojo gets so pussy drunk sometimes that he begs you to become his wife. His dick feels so raw and sensitive but he keeps squeezing it into that tight hole of yours.
Horny!Gojo is obsessed with you, mind body and soul. Just the sight of you and sound of you makes his dick stand up. And then he's whisking you off your feet and frantically throwing you onto the bed, and you're giggling at your horny boyfriend— oh... when did that happen? Hm. Well now he's your boyfriend.
© arminsumi
Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.
Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
#smut#mdni#gojo#gojo smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader smut#gojo x fem reader smut#gojo x fem reader#gojo x reader#satoru gojo#gojo x you#gojo satoru#gojo saturo#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x reader
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Grandfathered In
There, a job well done. Alfred thought to himself as he put the last grocery bag in the back of the car. Meal planning and shopping for a family as large as his own (and their semi frequent unexpected guests) did take quite a bit of his time but he'd managed to finish a bit early this week.
Alfred was thinking fondly of spending his extra time with a nice cup of tea and a book when he heard a noise from the nearby alley.
He stilled and listened intently. That was the sound of someone in pain. A child in pain if he wasn't mistaken (a sound he would rather he wasn't so familiar with). Well then, the tea would have to wait.
Alfred quietly moved into the alleyway, his hand inside his coat gripping the pistol hidden there. Hurt child or not, it never hurts to be cautious in Gotham.
"Good Heavens!"
There was a boy with pure white hair and bright, barely open, luminous green eyes. He was curled up, partially hidden by the dumpster, clearly barely clinging to consciousness and was oozing bright green blood from a large abdominal wound as well as several smaller cuts and burns.
He approached slowly and held out his hands to try to appear as friendly and non threatening as possible. "You appear to be in a bit of trouble young sir, perhaps I can help?"
The boy nodded weakly and Alfred knelt down and reached to pick him up. Best to get him into the car quickly and make use of his emergency first aid kit to stabilize the boy then get him home for further treatment. The hospital clearly wasn't an option for the young Meta... or alien perhaps? Something to ask once the boy was up to it.
Alfred carefully cradled the child and briskly moved back towards the car. He appeared to be a young teenager but he weighed so little, Alfred almost felt as though he was holding a toddler rather than a teen.
He lay the boy down in the back seat and leaned over to reassure him, gently moving his hair out of his eyes and petting is head in a soothing gesture. "There now, we'll have you right as rain in no time."
"Ha" the injured young Meta tried to laugh. "Might take...some time.. Don't ya think?"
Oh he'd fit right in, Alfred couldn't help thinking. Sassing even as he lay there bleeding. Well, in spirit if not quite the usual appearance, Alfred considered, eyeing the white hair and bright green eyes but-
A bright white suddenly light filled the car. Alfred blinked away the spots from his vision then stared in astonishment at the now black haired, blue eyed boy before him. Well then, fit right in indeed.
*****
Bruce blearily wandered into the kitchen and sat down at the table just barely holding in a yawn. He'd been in space on a mission with the Justice League for over 3 weeks and had only just gotten back to Earth in time to crash into bed and get a few hours of sleep before he had to be back up.
He reached for his coffee and looked around the table at his children. Tired as he was, it was good to be home. It even looked like everyone had made it for breakfast, a rare event for their family. Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, Stephanie, Barbara, Damian, Duke and...
"Who's this?" Bruce asked with friendly smile. Did one of his kids make a new friend?
Alfred silently appeared next to him. "That is your son."
"My son?" What was happening? Bruce was too tired for this. He counted again, Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, Stephanie, Barbara, Damian, Duke and...he looked closely at the last one. Black hair, blue eyes. Looks like one of his... He had no idea who this child was.
"Your son." Alfred said firmly as he sat some papers next to Bruce's plate.
Bruce looked down. Those were adoption papers.
"Oh. My. God." Stephanie whisper screamed from across the table. "That's where B got the adoption habit from!"
Bruce's attention was diverted from the multiple children trying to shush Stephanie as an uncapped pen was placed in front of him. He looked up as Alfred raised a single eyebrow and gave him a pointed look.
"Right, of course. My son."
He quickly scanned the adoption papers as he signed them then looked over at his latest child.
"Welcome to the family, Danny."
Note: I don't currently have plans to continue this. Anyone can add on if they would like to :-)
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size training with soobin !!! 😵💫
(lawd help me im lightheaded just by imagining it)
soobin lying back against the headboard with one hand brushing his messy hair back and the other with a loose grip on your waist. sweat dripping down his forehead while he has an cocky smile across his face scanning your body up and down as you straddle his hips. whimpering quietly “b-bin…” while he coos softly “shhh.. come on pretty girl, you can take it, can you?” >_<
lifting your hips to align his cockhead with your sopping entrance, feeling overwhelmed with his intimidating demeanor that turns you oh so subby for him !!! gasping with short “ah”s and “hnn..!!”s while you sink down on him feeling his thick, long, girthy cock scrape your insides… he’s too big you can barely take his tip in!!
“too much…” with sobs pouring from your mouth and tears pooling in your eyes before they drip onto his toned body. “so good for me baby… it can fit ‘m promise, tight pussy ‘s sucking on it so well…” soobin murmurs enamored by how fucking hot you look forcing your pretty pussy down his massive cock. god he’s so soft with you but at the same time you want to wipe off his stupid smirk that revels in your desperation.
going so dumb on his cock shuddering once you sink down completely, moaning loudly at his girth rubbing against your gummy walls and tip resting right against that one bundle of nerves <33 god you might as well see his bulge protruding your stomach. “fuck… good girl… my good girl.. so small and tiny” lips pressed against your neck, behind your ear, and trailing to your jaw..
hah… he’s such a boob guy so soobin would definitely massage your breasts mouthing at your nipples while you ride him !! sloppily rutting against him and lifting your hips just to slam down on his huge cock leaving you both in shambles but only one grows increasingly desperate “nnnghh~~!! b-bin… soobin… p-please just ah!” soobin softly biting your nipples with his hands guiding you down and him thrusting upward at the same time making you arch back in sweet pleasure @_@
what a stupid baby you are… babbling incoherent whines and moans while he puts in all the effort into molding you into his personal cocksleeve. so so dumb for him and his big cock that you end up cumming too quickly with your juices gushing out from under, coating him with your sticky mess <333 and if you thought you were done, you are so wrong !!!
“came so fast already.. you can give me another, mm?” soobin suddenly pushing you down and hovering over with your legs hooked on his shoulders. sounds of skin smacking fill up the entire room while he deliciously ruts his dick against your pussy with eyes closed to concentrate on fucking his girlfriend dumb.
he still has yet to cum too yknow?
#soobin smut#txt imagines#txt post#txt smut#size k!nk#size difference#size training#soobin big dick#i just know soobin has a big dick#i will never shut up about big dick soobin#6 ft tall handsome man fucking you stupid what’s there not to love#i need his dick so bad#i want soobin’s dick SO FUCKING BAD
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This was not in Dick's plans today. Seriously, it was his one day off and all he wanted to do was bug the shit out of Jay and relax in the comfort of his own home before heading to the manor and practically beg for Alf's good food.
All Dick got was being kidnapped with another person and Riddler's goons. No blindfolds, hands cuffed and tied with a rope. Wow, they really didn't want them to escape today. It's time to just wait for his brothers... maybe B, too.
"So, is Fashion Disaster #3 gonna do something with us, or are we just sitting here to look like two pretty birds?" Dick didn't recognize the voice, but he did snort.
"Quiet." One of the goons demanded as he hit the other guy in the face with the gun.
"You know, you told me to talk once, and now you're telling me to shut up? How does that work? Cause I can totally make an echo." Oh god, this civilian is taunting the goons. Sir, we are still tied, and they can kill us.
Is he... he is! He's humming, Baby Shark! OK Dick, don't laugh. Don't laugh. Hold it in. You can do it. Fuck. No, he can't. Dick took a deep breath as he attempted to regulate his breathing to not laugh at all. Cause, oh my god, this guy is making him want to laugh!
"So... how's it going? Besides being tied up like a domninatrix waiting for us to loosen up." Dick looked at the other guy. He was cute and fucking hilarious. Warm ice blue eyes and shaggy crow black hair.
"Oh, you know hanging out. Trying not to die from laughter. Could be worse." Dick grinned.
"See! That's what I'm saying...! People need to loosen up around here. How do you feel like breaking out?" The smirk on the other man's face screamed menace.
This is the type of person who Dick watches out for while being a cop. The other guy gave him a look. He had said that aloud. Whelp. Too late now.
"Bro. My record is clean-ish. But like sometimes my family is all kind of crazies. Mad scientists types. Genetics, y'know?" Dick still didn't know this man's name.
Dick cackled, "You're a scientist?"
The other man smiled widely, "Engineer for WE actually." Dick noticed the man's hands were free now. The cuffs and rope weren't cut, but he somehow got out anyway.
"Oh, really? How long have you been working at WE?"
"Hey! I said, be quiet! Now, shut up and stop talking!"
The smaller man huffed, proceeded to grab the goon by the gun, flip him forward, and then kicked him in the face, knocking him out.
Dick blinked, "How..? Wha-"
"Like I asked, do you wanna break out? I'll forgive you for being a cop and a date?"
Yeah... "You know what, why not?"
#dc x dp#dick grayson#danny fenton#danny is not the ghost king#dick grayson x danny fenton#danny is vibing being kidnapped#like this dude is literally just rolling with it lol#dick is having a wtf moment#they 100% went on that date#dick's brothers are confused on where they're at
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