#dick knows there's something weird about this guy and now he's wondering if the kid knows more than he should lol

[secretlythatsme]

thinking of a dp x dc where danny quotes "what the fuck richard" at nightwing lol

so many variables like is it an isekai? does he know nightwing's identity? was it just a random coincidence? and like, dick has the skills and experience to breeze past that and not let anything show, but i think it'd be Way funnier if this was an isekai au and vines didn't exist in the dc universe. or at least not that specific one. so dick breezes past it but is also mentally freaking out like "shit that sounded really sincere... does he know? how would he know? there's no way he knows. does he know??"

[heaartzzforcupidzz]

CAN U PLEASEEEEE DO ONE WHERE THE READER GETS PREGNANT BY CATNAP AND DOGDAY PLEASEEEEEE‼️🥺

A/N: didn’t know if you wanted smut or not but this will be smut, fluff, and a little angst.

“..Are you serious?”

Relationship(s): Catnap x pregnant!bunny!reader x Dogday 🔞

Warning(s): nsfw , angst , fluff (in that order)

You all were on your fifth round for the night and you were so tired, you came six times in total while Dogday and Catnap were on their third. but how could you resist your handsome puppy? who asked so nicely could he cum inside one more time? you groaned as you positioned yourself, your pretty pussy pushing out cum. Catnap was quick to wipe it and push it back into you. “gotta make sure none falls out, Midnight.” “you don’t wanna waste our cum, now do you, Angel?”

Dogday pushed his swollen, pre-cum pushing tip into you. He groaned at the warmth as he settled his hands on your waist. he set a ruthless pace, making sure his cock hit that spot to make your head reel. you gripped the sheets as you arched yourself for him. “oh fuck, good girl..” Dogday growled out as he grabbed your cotton tail and made you meet his thrusts each time he pulled your tail back. he couldn’t help but whimper as your gummy walls closed around his sensitive cock. Catnap had been watching for the most part until he snuck beside you two and put his fingers on your clit. fuck, they were playing dirty. before long, Dogday was fucking you into the mattress as you squirted on his cock. Dogday bit into your shoulder, causing blood, to quiet his own devastatingly loud moan as he poured his hot liquid into you.

It’s been a few weeks since then. you had been feeling very weird. weird mood swings, weird food cravings, and alot of throwing up. your lovers were very worried but you couldn’t ease their nerves as you didn’t even know what was wrong with you. finally, after a very violent fight with your stomach, you seeked help. you were sat in the doctors office as he examined you. he finally made it to your stomach with his x-ray and his mouth went wide. before long, there was so many doctors in the room, crowding you to look at the x-ray. you wondered what was so special before one of them yelled out.

“SHES PREGNANT?”

your heart dropped out your ass. pregnant? what the fuck where they talking about? your a stuffed animal for gods sake! but.. that would explain everything. and it’s not that weird compared to you guys having actual organs, emotions, dicks and pussys and your own mind. you walked out the office with a special ring around your finger so the higher ups could monitor you, closely. One doctor telling you “no more sex while pregnant, you hear me, hun?”

you walked around the playcare, watching the kids play and talk with one another. you couldn’t help but imagine your own litter running around here. you wondered how they’d look or who’s sperm you took? more then likely, it was Dogdays. he came inside you the most, hell, that was his favorite place to dump his seed into. you hadn’t been paying much attention and bumped into Hoppy. she turned and smiled at you, waving. “oh. hi, Y/N! what’s up? wanna see if you can jump higher then me?” “I would prefer not to, I’m kinda tired.” Hoppy was gonna push harder but one of the many children, Toby, you believe began to pull her away. he looked back at you as the two walked and waved at you, smiling. he had helped you. sweet kid.

you had felt eyes watching you as you continued walking. you shook it off as pregnancy jitters and headed to your home. before you could make it inside, Catnap came from behind you and grabbed your hand. He looked at your finger and then back at you. “..why do you have a ring?” he asked as he watched your face. you chuckled as you thought up something quick. “oh, one of the kids gave me this!” he looked at you questioningly before going inside the home. you sighed, one of relief that he didn’t question you more. you went inside and seen Dogday already sitting and looking straight at you. his eyes fondled over the ring to but he didn’t say anything.

you all were laying in your bed. it was cramped and you didn’t want them to squeeze you or your babies so you asked could they leave. Dogday was abit taken back but he respected your wishes nonetheless. “Anything for you, Angel..” he muttered as he kissed against your cheek. he got up and waited for Catnap. Catnap wasn’t as easy though. “hah? the fuck are we leaving for?” “kitty, just leave it alone and let’s go.” Catnap looked at Dogday and looked back at you. “you know what? fine. whore yourself out to whoever gave you a ring.” Dogday looked at Catnap as he walked out. Dogday looked back at you and his gaze softened. “He didn’t mean that, Angel. but..” pause. “you have been acting weird and distant, lately. I won’t push but..” Dogday paused again and sighed as he turned to walk out. “please talk to us about it sooner than later.”

you laid in your empty bed, cold. it was quiet and dark. usually Catnap and Dogday would be cuddled into your side, licking your neck and shoulders while you laughed and begged them to stop, saying how tickled you were. you cuddled into yourself and began to cry, the salty tears dropping onto your sheets rather than the fuzzy orange fur you were used to crying in. you missed them, so much.

the next couple days, they steered clear from you. you had tried to look for them but everytime you got close enough, they would walk away or another critter would softly steer you away, thinking you guys had a fight and needed space from one another. you waited until Dogday and Catnaps day to clean the aftermath of the arts and crafts and snuck into the building with them. Once, they had begun to clean, that’s when you appeared.

they both looked at you. Dogday didn’t have much of an expression but you could tell he was happy from the way his tail wagged, aggressively. you always smiles when his tail would do that. Catnap frowned as he saw you, dropping the broom and planning to walk away. you quickly reacted and started to talk, fast. “w��wait, please!” Catnap looked at you, giving you the ‘five seconds’ glare. you took a breath as you began to get scared. your hands playing with the hem of your fur as they watched you. Dogday watched you, patiently while Catnap had gotten tired of waiting and was beginning to walk away again.

“I—I’M PREGNANT!”

Everything went silent. Both their eyes were on you. you had their full attention. “..Are you serious?” “oh, Angel..” Dogday was the second to break the silence as he hurried towards you, embracing you in his warm fur. you quietly sobbed into him as he held you. you didn’t even notice Catnaps steps as he came behind you and softly patted you, his tail squeezing your thigh, reassuringly.

when you had finished, Dogday and Catnap stared at you, smiles illuminating their faces. Dogdays tears falling just as quick as yours while Catnaps eyes were just glazed with tears. “I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.” Catnap said as his tail squeezed harder on your thigh. you gently caressed his cheek and smiled. “it’s okay.. you couldn’t have known, kitty.”

From then on, you were treated as fragile glass. hungry? they’ll make you something. Thirsty? catnaps already got you a glass of milk. Need help bathing? they got you for sure. doing your duties with kids? uh- no unless it’s just coloring. They had got you a bigger bed so you all could fit and you could have a little space to your belly. Dogday laid his hands on your stomach as well as Catnap as he chuckled, tears threatening to spill again.

“we’re gonna be dads..”

you laughed as they both talked to your stomach like the babies could hear them. you stopped laughing as you felt a kick against Catnaps finger. Catnap and Dogday looked at eachother as they both freaked out, knowing their baby could hear them! oh, they were gonna be pawesome dads.

A/N: def making a part 2! can someone draw the baby, please? if not, I’m gonna have to use a picture I found on google 😭. but this was great, thanks for requesting, anon! also I think this is the longest story I’ve wrote.

TAGS : @2faced-fairy @alyssalololol

[dairy-farmer]

Thinking about the titans finding out about groomer Dick and just being so in denial because there’s no way. There’s just no way. Not Nightwing, he would never-

No one really notices until Young Justice merges with the Titans and Tim starts spending more time at the tower. Dick isn’t shy about his feelings or affection but keeps getting away with it because the Titans keep convincing themselves they’re overthinking.

Dicks an affectionate guy, it makes sense he’d want to cuddle and pamper his little brother. Is it really that weird?

Sure, he may have snuck into Tim’s shower but he was probably pranking him or something.

Yeah, okay, they walked in on Dick straddling him on the couch but come on, they’re bats, they were probably training.

Eventually though the denial starts to fail everyone. There’s no excuse for what they’re seeing and they’re not stupid. Their 26 year old leader is fucking his 16 year old little brother and likely has been for years.

They start to think back on things from the years before in a different light.

Kory has the horrible realization that Dick hasn’t had a partner since Tim became Robin. Bart remembers Tim talking about their ‘private training sessions’. Vic recalls how Dick would talk about Tim, how he’d gush about his ‘pretty little birdie.’ No one thought anything of it at the time, they honestly thought Dick was mocking him when he said it. ‘Pretty’ is something you call your little brother to tease him.

Wally is kept up at night remembering a 13 year old Tim pulling him aside to ask if Dick’s affection level was normal. Kon remembering Tim awkwardly asking how much touching was too much, making Kon jealous because he would have killed for that kind of affection. Both of them are left wondering if that may have been a cry for help. If it was, it’s way too late now.

Roy tries to tell Jason about it in hopes someone will actually confront Dick properly but ends up even more disgusted when the response he gets is “that lucky bastard. I thought we were supposed to be getting equal Timmy time.”

Dick is absolutely shameless and that’s the worst part. He pulls Tim on his lap during movie nights, grinds on him when they spar, makes out with him in the hallways, and fucks him into one of their beds with the damn door open.

He knows they’re not going to do anything about it, not now, because that would mean them being willing to admit that they either missed the warning signs completely or looked the other way for years. Tim is wrapped around Dicks finger and will do anything to stay with his big brother so if they want a chance at getting him help staying quiet is the best option. Besides, all the Bats already know and they’re ready to lie through their teeth about it.

Because if they thought Dick was bad, wait until they find out about Bruce.

dicktim, jaytim, brutim

groomer dick is so good and fascinating, especially because of his good reputation among heroes!!! the way that if anyone saw anything, heard anything, or if dick straight up told them himself - they'd struggle to believe it or come up with excuses or even just dismiss it as a weird joke dick was making. but the thing is dick never hid it. he was always publically touching tim, pulling him into his lap and when tim would struggle and whine, turning red with his eyes darting around at everyone watching with dawning humiliation- they'd laugh.

and its the years of strange things and things they've ignored that lead to them laying awake at night years later, going over everything. they can't do anything anymore, tim is wrapped around dick's finger they can see that dick has really gotten in the kid's head and really gotten him under his thumb. and maybe they could've stopped that years ago but now tim saw nothing wrong with being fucked by his brother, any protests or concerns were pacified by dick himself. and dick never leaves tim alone. there's never a moment any of them can pull tim aside and try to help him because dick is always there. he's possessive of tim.

and at first when they realize what dick is doing to tim the denial that hits them is hard. because it can't be right, that means dick, their long time friend, one time lover, the man they trust with their life was...THIS. its hard to accept that they really are THAT blind that they really are BAD judges of character. that they have really allowed this young boy who was so bright and so earnest in his determination to do right...they allowed him to get taken advantage of.

but...dick is their friend. and with his reputation...they can't just turn people against him just like that.

wally remembers the furrowed brow look barry had on his face when he told him and barry gave a slow, steadying and concerned "kid..." which he hadn't called wally that in years.

when kon told clark, somehow stupidly believing that clark might believe him and do something, clark had just gotten this tight and almost vaguely offended look on his face as he told kon that he must have misunderstood or misheard something because clark had known dick all his life and that he'd never do something like that.

its an uphill battle and...the mental toll makes it hard. no one believes them, no one will listen and its making them crazy, making them doubt whether its true.

but then they go back to the tower and see how tim's bedroom door is left open and dick fucks him in plainview of whoever walks down the hallway.

roy after seeing that for the first time doesn't even both calling ollie or dinah or any older hero because the whole 'former drug addict' meant people took his words with a grain of salt. so he went to jason because jason was his friend and because he was dick's brother and part of roy hoped he could talk with dick, get him help for what was clearly wrong with him.

...but another part of roy kind of hoped that jason would deal with dick like he did all the child molesting pieces of crap he came across.

only he doesn't. and his words of envy and annoyance over dick just make the sinking feeling in roy's gut worse.

none of them ever get the courage to go directly to batman.

if they did all they'd be met with a stone-faced wall and a grunt of how he already knew, that HE'D been the one to break tim in for them.

[cupidscrule]

BLACK CAT

Leon X Fem! reader

P in V, smut

[ no tw, vanillaish idk ]

1.2k wrd

”Woah, woah, slow down” Leon chuckled as you started explaining another cool story to him.

Your relationship was like the definition of a black cat and a golden retriever. You always have so much energy and are nice to almost everyone. Leon on the other hand is a tough agent who doesn’t really enjoy showing much emotion. He’s pretty stern towards others— but his softspot for you is clear.

”Okay, i’m listening. Tell me” He said while you were walking together with your fingers interlocked.

"okay okay! So THEN after Fluttershy wrote an entire song, rainbow dash just decides to throw it out? Ugh she's such a bitch. Don't you agree? I mean her friend went through all the trouble to try and get them to win the battle of the bands but she's so selfish.." you said, going on about a children's movie. You loved cute things, hello kitty, my little pony, really anything a 12 year old girl would be obsessed with, wearing cute little outfits and rambling about pointless stuff. But hey it made you happy and Leon thought it was adorable

"Mhm, yeah, so selfish" Leon couldn’t help but chuckle a little about how into the movie she was. by now he knew EVERYTHING about these stupid colourful horses, rainbowdash, fluttershy, twilight, pinkie, apple jack, list goes on. Honestly from what he knew rarity seemed like the best- I mean she was a boss bitch.

He found the whole thing pretty amusing, you were just so excited about it and he’s glad you have stuff you're so.. passionate about

"I mean, it would probably get annoying if her friend just wasted all that effort right? " He said trying to show his interest in her story.

"exactly! Ugh finally you get it" you said smiling up to him, leaning closer into his side as you two walked down back home, it was a long day. Like REALLY long, you took Leon shopping, got your nails done, bought some new skirts, and a new album. All that sort of stuff, but y'know dragging Leon aside you cause someone had to carry the shit, you were gettin really close to the outside of your house, skipping beside Leon holding hands. Life was like a dream.

But the long day out had Leon pretty tired— he had to drag a lot of your stuff around and you insisted they go to multiple stores (you tried to be nice and let him pick something out but he was too tired and grumpy, I know right such a dick head?)

When you were about to arrive home, he looked at you as you skipped around excitedly and smiled softly. Despite what he’s put through, he can’t deny that he finds your behavior adorable.

He squeezed your hand and chuckled a little before you guys got in front of your door.

"Oo Leon tomorrow we should watch rainbow rocks, then you'll understand what I'm talking about better" you say giggling as you step into your house, taking off your little boots and walking away from Leon plopping your ass on the leather sofa, even if you were like if you gave a six year old crack mixed with sour gummy worms even you could get kinda tired. Right, ain't that surprising? Little princess bitch face getting tired, after crawling over Leon like a little kid and skipping everywhere, runnin, jumping, god doing everything known to fucken man kind

“don’t know if we’ll have the time because of..” Leon muttered under his breath, he didn’t want to upset you and ruin your mood when you’re so excited.

He walked over to the couch and sat beside you silently and just observed you as you started talking about the movie. He placed a hand over your thigh, brushing up and down just silently smiling hearing you decribe your weird ass fictional horse people argue with other creatures from mythology, honestly sometimes he wondered if you needed to be checked into a mental hospital. Little grippy sock princess

“Wellll, maybe we can watch it tomorrow..” He shrugged. “I mean, i’ll do anything you want” Leon chuckled looking over at you.

He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him, his body was pretty warm given how hot the day was and his arm was pretty comfortable.

He kissed you forehead before wrapping his other arm around you, squeezing you a little. You loved when he was affectionate, but not in a creepy way, a cute way. But after a long day a girl can get a bit needy, like sue me but when you have a hot ass man cradling you and taking you everywhere, GOD it's like an angel is sent from heaven to fuck you. But fuck you in a good homemade porno way, not one of thoes shitty ones with a whole plotline. Just straight raw fucking

You turn around, breaking his grip on you before climbing onto his lap, placing yourself onto his thigh "Woah Woah, calm down- y'know I'm tire-" he was trying to speak, silly men. You land a big fat kiss on his lips to shut him up, slowly moving yourself on his thigh, pulling away from him getting a breath, saliva dripping down your face like an animal, staring at him in the eyes, his face slightly shocked you made the first move. But you felt something perk up, bingo. Always know what can make your man want ya

"God I can't just stare at your handsome face and do nothing-" you mutter under your breath, pushing yourself closer into him, kissing his face like a big ol' dog, your free hand finding its way to his jean zipper, undoing it his fat dick springing up, he grabs you by your hips, pulling your panties aside, slapping you onto his cock, a groan coming from his lips, honestly didn't expect the day to end like this, went from talkin ponies to getting your brains fucked out. Like a good girl you ride him, his hands are placed on your hips moving you at a decent pase, bit fast but he did do A LOT of work today, guess he deserves it. Nothing else in the world matters right now, euphoric feeling, he thrusted up into you, taking one hand off your hip and grabbing your face, making you look at him, god his eyes make you MELT. He could take care of you, he was real nice with it. He groped your tits sometimes in public, but just made you love him more.

You're at your high, he knows that. Few more thrusts and you whine, feeling your body melt like butter, your weight collapses onto him, but he's not done practically druling on him, limp body he keeps fucken like a doll, if you still have a tight pussy thats all that matters, few moments and he finishes, pressing you down onto him, filling your cervix, still collapsed on him both of you breathen all heavy. "So babydoll, what happened next?" He groaned, a sly ass smirk on his face. "Mm that cunt rainbow got put in her place and they play fluttershys song" you mutter, pushing on his fat chest, rollin off him like a little kid, pussy dripping. His pants stained with you, and a heavy chest.

"I wanna-"

"No"

"Pleaseee"

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

TimKonBartCassie Clone Baby AU

Part 2

He jolts awake from if you call weird dream's about a gun slinging toddler with a flying a dog a restful sleep, to awake in a second.

It takes about ten more seconds for him to realize he is in his room at Titans Tower, his kid is gone which he is not currently too worried about once he remembers the conversation from last night.

He's already heading back to the lounge figuring it a good place to hunt down a secret keeping Impulse and everyone else.

Kon is holding him the baby asleep, while Bart rests in Cassie's lap. Various baby items from bibs, diapers, and clothes are neatly placed to the side of the couch.

Kon greets him with a soft smile that he can't help but return before sliding down next to Bart.

It's comfortable and he's grateful that's no one's mad, that they all just accepted Luci once again he's surprised by how family just goes with it no matter what.

He loves them so much.

It's only been about two minutes before Cassie breaks the silence.

"Alright, we don't know how much you remember but you passed out, we figured the sleep deprivation caught up, Kon carried you to bed, we wanted to wait until you were awake to finish the discussion about everything."

Tim breathes he wants to know everything Bart knows but logically this doesn't just concern them if Jason has a kid he has to inform him. Nevermind that he needs to get back to Gotham and talk to everybody.

"Ok, I think we all should head to Gotham, I can call a family meeting, Bart can finish saying whatever he knows to everyone, because I don't think it's fair that we sit with information that could effect everyone, but I don't just want to decided or do anything I already did, something pretty big without talking to you guys."

"I agree mostly the cave would be the best place, I'm not exactly ecstatic about talking to everyone. I think Rob's right, also I want Jon to meet his nephew."

Kon brings up a point that he hadn't factored in Bruce is a grandfather now Dick is a uncle so is Jason and Damian. He also kinda really wants to show off his baby he finally understands why Bruce keeps photos of them all in his wallet.

"I agree Diana is gonna be all over our little hellraiser and it's a lot easier if we just gather everyone up and do one giant explanation, than doing it a million times. Also I don't know about anyone else but free babysitting is a perk, kiddo didn't want to sleep at all most likely cause Mom passed out on the floor but who knows?"

Tim can't disagree other than, wait why is he mom?

"Tim you talked in your sleep and were very offended that Dad has baby memorie before Mom cause you created him."

Kon laughs distracting him with his sparkly eyes, how unfair.

"I didn't mean to say that out loud and yes I did all the complicated stuff so I will be Mom if I want to although I will share with Cassie if I have to." He pouts. 

It's surreal that he really does mean that and for some reason mom or dad it doesn't matter one bit he has a little baby, his own baby bird.

"Alright boys I think we should get a move on, Tim send out a message and have Batman gather everyone up, he will probably have an easier time then we would."

He grabs his phone he didn't even realize that he had it luckly it's late enough in the day that work and school for everyone shouldn't be a problem.

He texts both Bruce and Alfred that something happened no one is hurt, but he needs everyone in the cave from Supers, Bats, Titans, Outlaws, Wonder Woman's essentially if we would want them to know something important they need to be there as fast as possible.

Not even ten seconds later his phone rings which he expected.

"Tim what's happening?"

He's terrified it's really setting in that he has a a kid.

That he has to tell Bruce.

Yet he's relieved it's Batman, It's Bruce, it's Dad.

He fix anything and hopefully teach him how to change a diaper.

He can't stop the sob that follows.

"I just need you to do this, please Dad it's... I did something stupid, but so amazing and just please I need you ok. I am coming with Young Justice it involves all of us and make sure our family's there, just please. I can't explain over the phone."

"Ok sweetheart I don't know what's going on but it will be ok. Anything can be figured out. Alfred is calling everyone will be here in about an hour. Are you ok? Injuried?"

"No I'm ok just make sure everyone's there Dick, Alfred just we need them. I'll be there in about an hour and a half. I love you."

He hangs up.

-

Bruce is terrified he never dialed so quickly in his life and his son sounds well upset doesn't even begin to cover it, but he knows it's important he only had to look at Alfred before he was calling Jason who was already with Roy picking up Lian.

Dick, Damian, Duke, Cass already are waiting in the cave he practically screamed for them to get down here.

Alfred quietly informing them that something happened and that everyone needs to get to the cave.

Bruce can't move he hears Jason come in but he can't greet him.

Soon the Titans arrive conversing with mainly Roy and Dick.

Clark, Diana and Barry arrive soon after.

He sees Jon talking quietly with Damian finally he gets up.

Looks at his children, teammates and everyone he could possible think of might need to know about a catastrophic event.

He clears his throat.

"I received a message from Young Justice, I don't know what happened, all I know is it's something major apperently no one is injured but they need us I expect whatever is going on is upsetting they will need our support."

He looks at his boys and Cass trying to push reassurance but he doesn't succeed.

Clark and Diana look two seconds away from flying to Titans Tower only stopped by Alfred.

It's been a little over an hour and Bruce wants nothing more than to hunt down his son, and wrap him in his cape but he's stopped by Zeta Tube turning on.

Everyone turns.

Out steps an exhausted looking Connor Kent, followed by Cassie Sandsmark who shoot a quick smile at Bruce which immediately confuses him.

They both block the zeta glaring at everyone until Bart Allen appears holding up a clearly exhausted Tim who still has tear tracks on his face.

He looks like he is gonna drop at any minute but before Bruce can rush to his son.

Tim steps away from all three wrapped in Superboy's Jacket.

The leather falls.

There's a baby.

A exhausted grin comes across Tim's face before he speaks.

"I had a baby, these are the parents also Bart has a story to share...... Surprise?"

Before Bruce can even blink Dick is across the room followed by Jason.

Jason who quickly steals the bundle with a soft coo.

Dick kisses Tim's forehead before picking him up

"I gotcha little brother, to the med bay we go."

Jason follows a step behind purposefully keeping the baby in sight of his third son.

It takes less than a minute before Alfred is checking over Tim only to be quickly interrupted by Kon who is laughing.

"Rob, that phasing could use some work, yes we have a baby, he did not however give birth to it in the traditional sense. Not that I don't agree with the coddling he deserves it. What I want to know is why exactly did you people just steal our kid, if Mom needs a break he's got three Dads over here."

Dick interrupts from his place by Tim's side.

"My little brother is my priority he will be taken care of by me. I assume little brother goes where baby goes so baby will also be taken care of by me. I also could care less of how Littlest Bird came to be, all that matters is my brother and the baby are healthy and ok."

He glares straight at Connor which Bruce quickly joins him how dare that boy. His baby had a baby. He needs his family.

Everyone is still frozen other than his boys.

He walks over to Jason to get a closer look at his granddaughter based off the pink blanket.

He wants to hold her and keep her safe until Tim can but Jason looks two seconds away from shooting anyone who gets to close so she will be perfectly safe.

He will check on his baby instead.

He kisses Tim on the forehead who is being prescribed rest and fluids by Alfred. He will also not be walking anywhere for the foreseeable future he is assuming that there wasn't an actual birth but any excuse to carry his children he will take it.

Damian, and Cass have joined around Tim. Clearly both on guard with their brother so clearly vulnerable. 

"I am really glad you guys are taking it so well, but Bart has important information for us all, and Jay, I would like my baby and maybe a hug from Dick in that order."

Quickly she is given back to Tim and Dick joins wrapping around them a soft smile directed at them both.

"Yeah it might be best if I start talking, cause I think Rob is gonna kill me if I don't."

[aangelinakii]

WHAT MUSIC THEY WOULD LISTEN TO.

characters written about in this piece : bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd, tim drake, damian wayne, barbara gordon, duke thomas, stephanie brown, cassandra cain

not proofread !

note : if you actually went and read through all of this i will actually smooch you

BRUCE WAYNE

bruce isn't an average music enjoyer, so he doesn't really have many preferences to what he listens to. all i know is that he doesn't like music that is too upbeat, like many pop songs.

perhaps in his angsty emo the batman 2022 phase, he would listen to metal, heavy guitars and drums, similar to jason. but as he develops as a philanthropist and vigilante, he would sway towards classical music without words. it helps him concentrate in many situations, and different artists or albums can convey so many different emotions in their music.

this music often plays within his office at wayne enterprises, the batcave whilst he's researching on the computer, or even just throughout the manor whilst he's doing bruce wayne shit.

songs i think he would like :

jazz suite no. 2: vi. waltz 2, dmitri shostakovich

12 études op.25: no. 11 in a minor "winter wind", frédéric chopin

vi. lacrimosa dies illa, slovak philharmonic

tango - bof "kuduz", goran bregović

le cygne (arr. for harp and cello), camille saint-saëns

le nozze di figaro k.492: overture, wolfgang amadeus mozart

DICK GRAYSON

i can see dick as someone who incorporates music a lot into his every day life; playing something on his alexa as he cooks dinner, listening to something in airpods as he walks around gotham during the day, hums or whistles a tune as he surveys the streets of blüdhaven at night. i don't think he would have taken up learning any instruments, but he's a very musical person, knows how to hold a rhythm as well.

he's into more modern music, very much frank ocean. he likes chill music with a good beat and maybe some good vocals. as long as the song overall sounds good, he doesn't really pay attention to lyrics. if a song he likes has weird lyrics, he'll only notice it one random day as he's singing along, and begin to overthink them in the shower and wonder why they were written in the first place.

songs i think he would like :

swim good, frank ocean

she, tyler the creator & frank ocean

novacane, frank ocean

dance now, joey valence & brae

wet dreamz, j cole

mysëlf, yeat

JASON TODD

i actually have a jason playlist here !

i think jason enjoys darker sounding music, but it can go one of two ways; either loud guitar, or absolutely gut wrenching vocals. i'm talking lyrics mixed with the perfect pleading voice to make you feel just numb inside.

jason has experienced a lot of loss and trauma in his life, so sometimes he may feel numb and just need to amp it up with a loud deftones song, or he is feeling too much, and needs a mellow, yet depressing mitski song to bring him back down. granted, neither are the happiest options, but it's what works for him.

songs i think he would like :

xerces, deftones

danger, south arcade

i don't smoke, mitski

come home to god, amaarae

smoke sprite, so!yoon!

dagger, slowdive

TIM DRAKE

LMAO i think this guy would be such a closeted theatre kid. he's watched all the heathers slime videos and watched hamilton and newsies on disney plus. he loves it, it just evokes an entirely different feeling. he would never tell anybody about this side though, which is why these playlists are kept privateee on his spotify.

so when he's with other people he shows that he listens to more mainstream artists, but likes an experimental sound, so maybe some tyler here and some carti there, but they aren't his go-to artists.

songs i think he would like :

boyfriend, tyler the creator

flex, playboi carti

non-stop, broadway cast of hamilton

once upon a december, broadway cast of anastasia

meet the plastics, broadway cast of mean girls

miso, edv & bigbabygucci

DAMIAN WAYNE

this little shit only exclusively listens to either classical music (aww look at him taking after his own papa) or the heaviest, scariest rock metal you've ever heard. bonus points if it's metal with classical undertones !!! he loves that shit, not that he would show it.

when he does his homework or falls asleep, he listens to heavyyy heavy metal. when he's eating a sandwich in the kitchen, or training in the batcave he'll be listening to classical music. see? it's not exactly linear.

songs i think he would like :

carnival of the animals: aquarium, camille saint-saëns

romeo and juliet op.64 - act 1: balcony scene - romeo's variation - love dance, sergei prokofiev

the isle of the dead op.29, sergei rachmaninoff

immortal rites, morbid angel

them bones, alice in chains

BARBARA GORDON

barbara is a woman on the quieter side, despite herself. i feel towards others she is more outgoing and reliable, but when she's with herself, she likes to wind down and just sit with her thoughts. she likes jazz, slow and soft, and the type of music you would find in music from the 50s and 60s. there's something wistful about it that she just loves.

this type of music can help her concentrate. she listens to music whilst reading, or whilst sitting behind the computer as oracle during less high-tension moments.

songs i think she would like :

the shadows of paris, elsie bianchi trio

piano and strings, henry mancini

a night to remember, beabadoobee & laufey

la javanaise, serge gainsbourg

jane b, jane birkin

my favourite game, the cardigans

DUKE THOMAS

we can all agree that duke is one of the more positive members in the family, trying his best to keep his optimistic outlook despite the rest of the world, and the rest of gotham especially. he likes songs with meaning, although hidden behind a happy instrumental and youthful vocals, but he also enjoys just plain old happy-go-lucky sounding songs.

i also think he's a very musical person, always got headphones on. he probably gets that one notification at least once a week telling him his volume is too high in his ears.

he loves to dance, so songs that he can get lost in and have a little jam sesh in his bedroom are a must!!!

songs i think he would like :

useless, omar apollo

the magic number, de la soul

batshit, dominic fike

breadwinner, floyd fuji & topaz jones

the violence, childish gambino

smokin out the window, silk sonic

STEPHANIE BROWN

as for stephanie, this girl listens to EVERYTHING. she listens to kpop, shoegaze, indie, rnb, 2010s pop, jazz likeeeee she will literally listen to anything. she doesn't have playlists she just fr adds every song she likes to "liked songs" and listens to it on shuffle, and whatever comes up she listens to without an issue. almost never skips songs because she's so open to anything and everything.

like one minute she could be listening to her fav red velvet album, and then the next min she's on the verge of tears listening to phillipa soo sing burn on the hamilton soundtrack.

songs i think she would like :

so good, red velvet

cola head, willow kayne

if you want to, beabadoobee

call me maybe, carly rae jepsen

xxl, young posse

unchained memory, cafuné

CASSANDRA CAIN

following her quieter nature, i can't see cass listening to anything too upbeat or loud. she'll like a softer instrumental but with an emotional vocal line, almost as if getting to express the things she may not be fully able to towards her family and friends.

may enjoy a good old shoegaze or indie song here and there, especially if she's feeling more emotional, as she feels the sound of the song encapsulates her emotions.

songs i think she would like :

only, lee hi

chocolate and mint, duster

slow burn, infinity song

gaia, lexie liu

emo song, beabadoobee

chaos angel, maya hawke

[striveattemptfail]

logan howlett & wade wilson, mild-M, ~1k | spoilers for the dp&w movie. more gen than slash (technically one-sided poolverine on wade's side). rated for sexual themes and cursing thank you to B @broosepayne for the amazing beta and sharing poolverine brainworms with me ❤️🤝💛 any other mistakes are mine read on ao3

Wade’s erection had been pressing into Logan’s crotch for the better part of half an hour.

It was extremely uncomfortable at first, especially with one of the Fantastic Four kids in the corner just waggling his eyebrows at him when he somehow found out. (How? Logan didn’t fucking know.) He could’ve sliced through their bonds—sliced through Wade—with practiced ease but he knew better than to try escaping in the middle of fuck-knows-where when the baddies driving them to fuck-knows-what had a giant magnet to subdue him. Logan didn’t even know where to go if he somehow managed to escape. Better to suss out what the hell he got himself into while he had downtime and two near useless allies with him.

Even if one of them—the most annoying motherfucker alive—was all but grinding on his hip.

He’d been in weird situations like this before. Sometimes a mission meant bunking in tiny places and sharing a bed with multiple men; sometimes adrenaline meant guys got excited while squeezed together in helicarriers and transport vehicles before a take-down; sometimes dicks just got hard from a random breeze. Logan knew that crotches got into places that were awkward, but it was bearable when the majority of his teammates were actively dating women and were definitely not into him.

(He suspected more than a few of them weren’t as straight as they claimed to be, but that wasn’t any of his damn business. He’d given up on naming his own sexuality a century ago; the fuck was he supposed to do with other guys’ confusion? Best to leave them alone to deal with it themselves was his prerogative.)

All to say: Logan had had his fair share of crotches rubbing on him. A man’s hips rhythmically but unconsciously bumping into his outside of sex was not a new experience.

Wade’s constant mumbling while asleep, however, was.

Logan tuned Wade out for the most part, since he was also used to tuning out his teammates’ ramblings—at the very least so he didn’t do something stupid like slice someone’s head off when he disagreed with a plan. (Yes, Scott was often the target of these urges.) Though none of them ever dared to talk about how they had the hots for Logan before dry humping him in their sleep. Frankly, most of them didn’t have the balls to or, if they did, Logan would more than happily castrate them for trying.

So obviously Wade had to be fucking different, and with his boner pressed against Logan for the better part of half a fucking hour while mumbling and whispering nonsense the whole time...

Well.

Even Logan had to wonder what the hell the idiot was dreaming about.

Were they fucking? They had to be, if Wade’s incessant yammering when he was awake was anything to go by. Logan had only known him for a few miserable hours but he was quick to figure out that Wade was very open about his sexual fantasies—especially for those who were in close proximity to him, like Logan. It really wouldn’t be a stretch to assume Wade was dreaming about the two of them bumping uglies.

Now, Logan wasn’t a particularly vain guy, but he knew he was attractive. God knew he used to put the work into his body, even if he did try to sabotage himself by drowning in shitty booze and self-destructive behaviour most days (every day). His healing factor meant he was constantly at peak physique no matter how hard he tried, so he’d long ago accepted that he’d have people leering at him, open and willing with their attraction towards him.

And Wade had been disgustingly open about how attracted he was to Logan. Logan didn’t understand half the shit that left the other man’s mouth—would hate himself more than he currently did if he even tried figuring out what the hell Wade babbled about—but he was very much aware of how horny Wade was for him. It’d probably be flattering for anybody else, being fawned and lusted over with Wade’s brand of enthusiasm, but unluckily for him Logan was not just anybody else. He was somebody stuck with the moron with a mouth, plus heightened senses.

And Jesus fucking Christ did every single one of his senses pick up on Wade’s arousal. Even without hearing the constant spew of bullshit leaving Wade’s face, Logan could smell how turned on he was from miles away. During their earlier fight, before they were interrupted by Victor and his Merry Little Bandits, Logan regrettably saw that Wade didn’t wear a cup and that he enjoyed showing off his growing chub for everyone to see.

Then again, even a human without an animalistic mutation could feel Wade’s prick standing at attention against them.

Wade suddenly moaned, a little louder than before, and the Fantastic Four Guy piped up, “Sounds like he’s having a good time, huh?” He waggled his eyebrows again, throwing a smirk in this time.

Logan glared back, eyes cutting and narrowed, a silent shut the fuck up made loud and clear despite not opening his mouth. Fantastic Four Guy rolled his eyes and lifted his bound hands in surrender before looking away.

A groan escaped Wade this time, along with his head lolling around, which meant—thank fuck—he was probably waking up.

Then Wade grumbled, “God of thunder, ngh, eugh—!”

Hrm.

So Wade wasn’t dreaming about him this whole time. The hard-on Logan had been dealing with for thirty whole minutes was because of Thor.

Which meant Logan was trapped in the desert, tied to the most annoying man to ever walk on two legs, and the boner poking at his hip wasn’t even for him.

What a fucking joke.

Pushing away his simultaneous relief and (what the fucking fuck) disappointment, Logan chose to focus on Wade finally waking up.

“How long was I asleep?” Wade slurred.

Logan didn’t hesitate to let his annoyance be known.

“Not all of you was asleep.”

He squinted his eyes and even shot Wade the tiniest, most sarcastic smile. Hopefully the bastard knew that it meant Logan was going to tear him a new one for making him deal with Wade’s annoying dick over goddamn Thor of all people after they dealt with—

—whatever they had to deal with at the end of this ride.

——————————————

(More notes on Ao3.)

[numinous-scribe]

I’m seeing a lovely trend of recommending DPxDC fics going around so here I am throwing my hat into the ring lol

+++

Beauty lays behind the hills by Library_of_Chronos

Danny loses everything. He runs fast and he runs far, somehow ending up in a back alley known as Park Row, where a strange man with flowers in his hands changes his life.

While Danny does end up staying with Bruce and a much younger Dick, the story focuses more on giving Danny a good support system both within Wayne Manor and with the Justice League, as they all come together to help Danny fight against Vlad. Status: Incomplete

Law of Retribution by Michaelisunderatted

“The ghosts like you.”

Danny watched as Red Hood reeled. Now that he thought about it, that was probably a creepy thing to say. Danny hadn’t talked to living people in years though, so Jason really should cut him some slack. He was trying his best. It wasn’t his fault living people had such weird hang ups about things.

“Okay,” Jason said, taking a deep breath. “Okay kid, what the fuck.” ...

Jason starts seeing ghosts. Danny comes back to the Living Realm for the first time since the Incident.  He has a job offer for Red Hood

I have not caught up with this one myself, but so far I’m really enjoying the darker/more serious tone of the story. Jason sees ghosts, Danny fumbles the “how to human” ball, and Duke takes no shit. It’s great! Status: Incomplete

Sundials by AkelaNakamura

Damian Wayne is nearing sixteen and it's finally feeling like a future is something he might get to choose. He has a Soulmate, somewhere, who is no longer subject to Grandfather's judgement. He wonders though, how he's going to find him when he's unmarked. There's a thousand ways to find a Soulmate, he knows, but Damian has nothing physical to guide him.

Tucker Foley has always worried that Amity Park will be too much for his Soulmate, whoever they are. Soulmates are supposed to match each other, to walk with each other, but there's not many places that are as wild as Amity Park. The only mark he carries though, is the one that links him to Sam and Danny, so he's left to wonder how they might meet.

Damian turns sixteen and everything changes.

A really sweet Tucker/Damian soulmate au with wonderful lore and mechanics and just overall oozing with tender softness. 100% adore this one. Status: Complete

Bruised by DizzlyPuzzled

The Guys in White are preparing for war. The Justice League doesn't believe in Ghosts and wrote Amity Park off. And Danny just wants things to chill for a moment so he can enjoy his life. But now he is the only thing standing between complete reality collapse and peace.

Ghost King au + political drama + taking down the GIW and Vlad? Amazing, stunning, I’ve re-read this at least five times now. Status: Complete 

Ouroboros by Rhapsody_in_Pink

In the end, it was Jack and Maddie that caused Phantom. It was Phantom that caused the downfall of Jack and Maddie. It was Jack and Maddie that destroyed Danny Fenton. It was Danny Fenton who accepted Phantom. And so Ouroboros swallowed himself.

An alternate take on how Danny acquired his powers and interacts with the ghosts around him as well as well as dimensional travel. I genuinely don’t have the words to describe how much I love this one, it’s just so good! Status: Incomplete

Your City Loves You (And Your Home Was Always Here) by bongo_balderdash

After a meeting between the Reigning Monarch of the Infinite Realms and the Justice League, King Phantom asks Superman to stay behind for a moment. Superman is a little hesitant, but they’ve just agreed to a peace treaty between the lands of the living and the dead, and apparently someone on the king’s council has something they’ve been waiting to say.

Not just a message for Superman. A message for Clark Kent.

This one was so sweet and it made me cry. Status: Complete

A Vigilante A Day Keeps the Government Away by DeathlySilent13

Lucius Fox gets a phone call he'd never expected from a source even more unexpected. Now, he's got to figure out what to do with a betrayed child, a traumatized nephew, a protective son, and an adoption-prone Bat.

Very interesting choice in using Lucius as the main POV, and it provides a fresh look at the beginnings of coordinating a take down of the GIW. This is only the first part of the series, and while it is Complete, there is still more to come!

What’s a Spleen Between Friends? by Cielle_Noire

Tim gets Isekai'd a few times, which is really inconvenient. The guy (meta? ghost? half-ghost?) who keeps helping him is cute though, so it's okay. Well, it's not okay, but it could be worse. Probably.

OR

Five Times Tim Fell Through a Portal and One Time He Didn't

A very witty 5+1 Tim/Danny fic. Great lore, great plot, great jokes. 10/10. Status: Incomplete

[dollfaceksj]

Hey! So I saw you mention something about a new style of drabble series and I was wondering if I could request something so you can try it out?

College!JK, that’s a year younger than Y/N, that looks shy and quiet but is actually a fuckboy, he just doesn’t show it around Y/N because he respects her as his senior and being a mutual friend of his (Tae or Joon or any member)

aaa thank you! i was rlly considering trying it out and u’ve given me the opportunity. the idea is derived from @/jiminrings’ lunchbox lovers! they’re one of my fav authors so definitely check out their work <333

ps: THIS WAS SO FUN TO DO!!! i might do this for a lot of ideas i have cause its so quick and fun!!

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #1

masterlist

next ->

jungkook and you cross paths every now and again, like right now when you’re sitting in taehyung’s small studio apartment watching the two of them play call of duty: black ops on taehyung’s small flatscreen

you’re seated on taehyung’s bed, back pressed against the headboard and you’ve got a view of the back of their heads as they’re sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed

“dude, how did you miss that?” jungkook groans loudly, his head thrown back in disbelief

“that’s the same person that killed you 20 seconds into the game! they’re just good.” taehyung wants to defend himself but they’re both being a little too loud and taehyung has already got several noise complaints

UNFORTUNATELY you have to be the rational one.

despite this not even being your place

“guys, quiet down.”

you have to remind these annoying fucks about the neighbors every 10 minutes.

they’re so annoying like???

acting like little kids ffs

taehyung glances at you over his shoulder and sheepishly says, “sorry.”

jungkook doesn’t say anything but you’re not surprised, the only words you two have ever really exchanged were a couple awkward ‘hello’s and ‘how are you’s

“you don’t have to apologize to me, taehyung, i’m just trying not to get you evicted!!!”

they both chuckle at that but are suddenly interrupted by jungkook’s phone buzzing

jungkook’s hand dives into his pocket and his other hand shields his phone from taehyung’s prying eyes

taehyung teases him about it. “what? is it another one of your little girlfriends?”

your ears perk up at the new info

NEW INFO ALERT

jungkook actually gets bitches?

truth or lie?

there’s no way bruh

or is he so bitchless that it’s become an inside joke ?

like he’s pretty cute you’ll admit that much

but he looks like he’ll combust any second when talking to a woman???

“you talk too much…” jungkook mumbles as he gets up from the floor, wiping his sweatpants clean after shoving his phone back into his pocket

you take the opportunity to tease the younger one, the guy that’s always too shy to look into your eyes for longer than 3 seconds

“oh, you get down like that?”

jungkook’s head turns to you after the words leave your mouth and for the first time, he doesn’t look awkward or shy to be engaging in eye contact with you

his eyes slowly drag down your body, lingering on your bare thighs

you almost jerk at the intensity of his gaze but you compose yourself, it’s just jungkook.

like he literally looks like he gets boners from just getting on a bus

just as he parts his lips to answer, his phone starts ringing again

“see y’all later.” with that, he walks out of taehyung’s flat

hm. that was

weird?

different???

tae glances over at you, a wiggle in his brows and a smirk on his lips. “he’s definitely gonna go get his dick sucked.”

you scrunch your nose up at his words. “i don’t need to know that.”

you can’t help it though. you’re a bit surprised

jeon jungkook???

having SEX???

WITH AN ACTUAL PERSON?

that does not sound logical to you whatsoever

he’s top 3 students in his year, he’s quiet and awkward. he plays video games, is obsessed with anime and is always covered in head to toe.

like that time you all went swimming and he was the only one wearing one of those damn rash guards.

with the amount of time he spends on discord you think he might have a discord kitten but that’s as much pussy he’s gonna get

in your opinion, he’s literally a pussy repeller. an anti pussy magnet. a bitchless los–

“what are you thinking about?” taehyung snaps you out of your thoughts.

shit

SHIT

you weren’t listening to a word he just said.

you raise your brows slightly. you contemplate speaking your mind but then you remember it’s just taehyung.

tae and you go way back and he’s one of your closest friends

you shouldn’t feel awkward to ask him anything that’s on your mind

“does he actually get laid?”

there’s a quick beat of silence

“why? you interested?” he smirks and wiggles his brows at you.

he’s so annoying

“gross.”

he laughs as he gets up from his seat on the floor and falls down next to you on the bed.

“you look surprised.”

“tae, he literally looks like he’ll bust a vein whenever he talks to me.”

taehyung laughs and shakes his head. “nah, joon and i told him to keep his claws off our beloved friend.”

there’s a scrunch in your brows as you process the new info.

NEW INFO ALERT

claws ???

off YOU?????

you don’t know whether to be amused or offended

you shake your head in disbelief. there’s no way he just said that

“you actually think that kid has a chance with me?”

tae glances at you with a tilt to his head.

he shrugs his shoulders. “either way. don’t pay him any mind.”

now you’re intrigued because no matter how believable taehyung seems, you still don’t believe it.

you refuse to believe it

he’s too

EUUGHHH??

you can’t describe it

and to think that they THINK he has a CHANCE with YOU???

absolutely fucking mindboggling

“you seem like you don’t believe me,” he laughs but then returns his attention to his phone. “i forget that you don’t really know jungkook that well.”

just as you part your lips to say something, taehyung adds, “hm. maybe it’s better that way.”

to be continued???

next ->

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[feralmoonlight]

Doordash AU Lore

Condensed Soup Version for your reading pleasure~ This was flailed over discord last night in a stream of consciousness into the delirium of sleep and goes from legible and readable to 'what are you typing??' levels of writing. Spellcheck was... not used a lot. Enjoy!

Sun survived the Fazbear Fire ending but was junked and picked up by random dude that tinkered enough to get him fixed to the point he could finish fixing himself. Sun and a very feral moon were... 'grateful' for being saved, but dude just wanted to use them as a side hustle for income basically and guilt trips them into working to 'pay him back for saving them and the electricity it takes to keep them charged'

Hence, doordash. Getting sun to be able to drive was easy enough, and dude just linked his own bank with the account so any pay out goes straight to him. The boys basically get pennies for their work because they don't really have a full sense of money or the outside world, but Sun 'likes' getting to explore while delivering and while they'd love to work with kids, well... Dude won't let them go until they pay him back. So they technically are under the assumption he owns them like fazbear did. A little pushback but 'if it weren't for him, they'd still be in the scrap yard'. And it's way better than being locked away in solitude again.

SO, one day they do a deliver for Reader, quiet anxious shut-in artist hermit type that thrives online but is basically terrified of the world beyond their home. Very relatable cough

BUT YN is like. Holy fuck that's a robot???

And Sun is like HELLO! Here's your food! Wanna chat? What do you do? How was your day?

To which anxiety YN blurts out they're an artist and Arts and Crafts King SUN is like YOU LIKE ART? I LIKE ART? and corners them for about 15-20 minutes talking their ear off while they're basically frozen because too awkward to tell him to leave, and he's not being WEIRD just REALLY TALKATIvE but it seems to be making him happy??

And then he gets another delivery and has to go anyway.

WhICH... OK cool that was weird but something to remember and forget about later.

Until a few weeks later when they order from a similar area restaurant and get Sunny as their delivery dude again, recognizing it immediately as him and actually having a more 2 way convo this time?

And it starts off slow, little short convos between drop offs and Sun wants to stay and talk more but it gets waved off at first. BUT YN keeps trying to work the system and get him back as a delivery dude for short chats.

Friendship builds and they start working out how to get the delivery as the last of his shift time so he can talk longer and longer, but he always leaves before the sun goes down too far, because Moon worries

Which eventually something happens and Sun knows he's not gonna be able to make it back home before dark, so he VERY anxiously asks if he can stay the night and makes up a thing about not functioning well in the dark. Sunshine and all that. 

SO he gets to stay and they have a longer chill evening and he watches YN work on some commissions, and then they watch a non-fazbear movie and just chill. Which he's ABSOLUTELY BLOW AWAY by a non-fazbear movie

and YN wants to introduce him to different shows and stuff, so these little sleepovers (lights on) turn into a more regular almost weekly thing.

But eventually the fun time gets caught and Dude gives Sun a call about where the fuck is he with the car? Where has he been? And sun apologizes and has to leave, but it raises questions about who that was.

WHich takes us to catalyst point 1, of 'man, that guys a dick. you don't take that much energy to charge -motions to electric bill that only budged a couple dozen dollars' and learning he takes all sun's earnings.

Now, you might be wondering... WHere's MOON in all this? How does MOON feel?

Well, Moon doesn't trust anyone at this point. Between fazbear, the vanny incidents, and this fucker, he is VERY skeptical there's not some ulterior motive, and he wants to test it. But Sun is getting very attached to YN

And he's already made moon lowkey promise to behave in case the lights go out from the first night, cause they haven't done anything bad yet. But he's still IFFY.

BUT LOW AND BEHOLD, the fabled power outage arrives, and YN doesn't know MOON is a thing.

It's a short one, and Moon POORLY tries to pretend to be Sun in the dark, but he's very... itching to fuck with YN. WANTS to harass them so bad, but... he said he'd behave.

But the lights come on, and Sun is a little panicked, but YN brushes it off like he was scared of the dark? Though he didn't sound scared a moment ago? Maybe it was something else that spooked him?

BUT things continue and the more YN hears about dude, the more they want to beat his ass(they wont, they're not bold like that) and get Sun away from him... which... he might have a gps on the phone and car that they use, but not on Sun. All he'd have to do is like... not go back? and he'd be free

which alarm bells MOON with the though YN just wants to use them the same way dude did to get more money cause at this point it's obvious to them both that the only things YN really spends their extra money on is food delivery and thats about it. they don't buy 'stuff' but they enjoy eating good food from different places, and they've been ordering a lot more lately as an excuse to see Sun.

SO moon convinces Sun to let him 'test them' and their resolve

Let him out, let him have some fun. And hoo boy. He definitely makes himself a threat, but he did still promise not to HURT hurt them.

BUT he has to test limits. Push buttons. He doesn’t really want to hurt YN cause they have genuinely been nice and he wants to think they’re being sincere in their attempt to help them, but there’s always that grain of salt. They thought the other human was trying to help them but they were just getting used for free income. What’s to say this 'starving artist’ won’t do the same? So he does the chase song and dance, the threats, minor injuries to see if it’d be enough to scare YN into showing true colors…  And they ARE scared, but they also know Sun at this point. Even if Moon is gonna be shitty, and they say as much, Sun is their friend, and they aren’t gonna let him go back. Even if it means putting up with Moon.

WHICH HURTS, but in a way that warms his heart sorta. Like.. OK OW? But also deserved. He’s not done poking the bear, though, but again, bit by bit he goes from full gremlin mode to spikey roommate to soft nap lord. With gremlin habits still. He wouldn’t be moon if he wasn’t a pest sometimes.

BUT like, OK. SO MOON DOES HIS MOON THING

and he's surprised YN has so much... pushback to not let him get to them, but also seems to have this genuine urge to help Sun just to help him?

Which means now Moon has to repair the relationship, but Sun is also excited that Moon is going to TRY to be nice now, not just because he asked him to, but because... If they ARE gonna be trying to live with them, as friends, that first impression needs to get undone

Which he points out also it's NOT their first meeting, but... YN doesn't pick that up at first

SO we have the 'become friends with Moon' arc starting as well as the actually stealing Sun... which is easy enough. They drive back to dudes house with YN and just... leave the phone in the car, and take the bus back home.

which leaves YN in a lowkey panic because agoraphobia

BUT they'd do it for their friend. The injustice of what happened is stronger than their own fears, and getting back home results in a nice little cuddle session because yes. Which also would end up in them falling asleep and sun shifting over to Moon and moon basically having a 'I WILL NOT ADORE THEM oh fuck' moment too

WHICH brings us to the midway point... Sort of.

Because now YN is taking care of them, or rather, giving them somewhere to live, rent free, and eating the cost of their electricity upkeep which is... not horrible but more than expected... so they're now having to go grocery shopping regularly (ew) and essentially cutting their food budget in more than half to make that difference, cause taking on new commissions is already stretching their work load.

There's a small talk of why YN doesn't have a different job, and there's some talk of... not trauma, but just... really bad experiences? They wouldn't call it trauma, but they DO NOT want to have to get a 'normal job' again. Which is hard for them to understand from an AI perspective, having job stuff programmed into them with the daycare and security things

BUT then YN talks about how if doordash felt 'right'... and it did not. it was 'ok' but it wasn't what they were made for

But they're also realizing that they ARE sort of... taking up a decent amount of what was YN's 'spare money'. which was NOT safety net worthy but it was enough for them to be comfy

SO they start feeling guilty. Doing little tasks around the house, but it's not enough, TO THEM, to make up for the new burden they're putting on this FRIEND that CARES about them.

SO... They want to get a job.

But how

Their options are VERY limited, and probably gonna have to be under the table

They don't need to make a LOT, but YN basically tells them they will NOT do doordash shit again.

There's the possibility of doing private babysitting? But getting parents to agree is... weird...

They do the random attempt of going to a few parks and letting sun do his thing with the kids, but there's a mixed response of 'what the fuck, a robot?' and 'ok who's the freak that brought a bot to a playground? is this some kind of sick joke?'

But there are a few parents that don't immediately freak out.

YN talks to some of them and explains that he used to work with kids until their daycare burned down and he was thrown out, a bit of a twist on the official happenings but believable enough.

And one parent takes the bait,  agreeing it'd be nice to have someone watch the kids after school for a bit before they got off work some days, so they'd try it out. For a very cheap fee, but still.

It's a step in the right direction, and their kids area already on board with having Sun as a temporary caretaker. YN is gonna be with them, but they can take their art shit wherever so Sun handles this kids and YN just babysits the babysitter XD

They let sun and moon keep all the money they make and only take what's offered from them, and insist they should hold on to some of it for anything they  might need for future repairs. There's a lowkey friend argument but agreements are made

They gather a few families that are on board with their services, and eventually things even out. But one parent mentions the daycare their tiny child goes to is actually pretty short staffed. They can't afford to hire on anyone else at a normal pay rate, but if they treat it like 'renting a piece of machinery' a phrase YN is pissy about, then they could probably pay a similar rate to the babysitting gigs but as a 5 days a week guaranteed time thing?

Which there's a back and forth on how that might be risky, but the fucking starry eyed glee from Sun, and moon actually, about getting to work with a daycare again is something they can't fight against. And so the approach is made.

And accepted

As a trial run, at first, but things go well and they become a welcome part of this little daycare, and can handle the tasks of two or three employees easily. It's far less chaotic that the sugarhigh crazed children of Fazbears, and it's the happiest they've been in a long time

wait.

what's that?

everyone is

happy?

>w>

Heheh

GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS

fazbear still owns them

Well

Sort of

Fazbear still owns 'Sun and Moon' as trademarked entities.

Dude still owns them legally as salvaged scrap.

And Moms just LOVE posting weird shit on facebook.

Knock KNock we're here for your robot

Time to RUN from THE MANZ

Thankfully still no tracker, and THANKFULLY Fazbear isn't actually as invested as the news would lead people to believe? But that dude? oh that dude is PISSED as FUCK

He ends up being the more unhinged danger time for YN, because it was DEFINITELY YNs FAULT 'their robot went rogue'

Fazbear's is lowkey keeping tabs, but after that plex burned down they'd already gotten the insurance from the BS that happened, and technically getting such a... mmm 'tampered with' AI would be a pain in the ass to recode

They're lowkey interested in him as spare parts, but the news media covering this from the dudes side, and then eventually uncovering the harrowing rescue and plight of the 'mistreated robot that just wants to take care of kids' has the story quickly turning on it's head.

Fazbear's watching all this too, and they're... intrigued that Sun and Moon still have such a strong drive to care after the incident... they're swapping to wanting to study this...

They weren't the only bot that 'survived', but they're the only one that made it to the 'outside'

BUT BUT BUT

they study

they watch this drama unfolding with the curiosity of a cat watching a mouse in a maze

they COULD pounce, but... they could also learn from this. they see money in them hills

ANd the media is EATING this shit up

but it does come down to it that Dude finds YN and Sun/Moon (time undetermined at the moment) and they're... separated enough that he CAN rough up YN a bit. Not enough, but enough that it sends YN off running and Dude books it cause he doesn't want the police involved after making a BIG no no of assault

he knows he fucked up, but YN is now hella shaken and Sun/Moon shows up shortly after. MOON is very livid and wants to go hunt this dude down like a dog. Sun ALSO is on board but... that would not do any of them any good, so it's comfort the reader time.

Little bit of wound tending, mostly bruises and a fucked up wrist.

yep.

That one. They aren't drawing for a while because fuck you thats why

But again, the place YN went to for safety is on the phone with police and the media hears about this dude attacking them, and HOO BOY... BUT yn doesn't press charges because...

MOSTLY they dont wanna deal with court shit?

BUT his own actions are enough to kind of scare him off from intervening again

he knows he fucked up, and the info is ON the NEWS now, and he's waiting for the arrest warrant to get served but it never does.

This is now a bigger issue and not worth the hassle

he's got a nice fucking chunk of change though from them doing door dash for like 10 hours a day for.... months?

just sitting in his bank

which mF is gonna have to pay taxes on lmao

bitch doesn't know it yet cause he didn't think that far ahead. he's an asshole. a clever one, but not a smart one.

SO it's into the wind down of wondering when Fazbear is gonna try to come swoop in and steal Sun/Moon back from YN. or rather, back from their freedom. And it's NOT long after that they do get a knock on the door from a fazbear rep...

This is about where the end gets hazy though. Cause I don't wanna do the whole convo, but it boils down to, they're very intrigued that 'the ai,  Sun, and Moon, have adjusted so well to life outside of the plex.'  And they want to use that. The knowledge that they can expand outside of just 'entertainment'.

This isn't the 'birth of the ai revolution' of sorts where robots are everywhere... they already are somewhat, but very... simple versions. More advanced things like the animatronics are few and far between, and highly monitored in their selected environments (the pizzaplex). But letting the more sentient ones adapt to working at things like stand alone daycares, theme parks, maybe as traveling shows that go on tour, or other possible branch locations with different uses is very interesting to the higher ups

They want to monitor Sun and Moon, how they conduct themselves, and how people respond to them 'out in the wild', so to speak.

"This new idea is... groundbreaking. And we just want to observe... For now."

The long side eye is LONG, but... LEGALLY they could snatch the boys up without a second thought.

So they take the offer.

Fazbear is gonna offer no help, aside from possibly medical costs because they want to build a 'friendly face for the enterprize' as well as feel slightly responsible for YN getting hurt by not stepping in sooner and making their presence known to The Dude TM that he was out of his realm from the start.

There's some wariness from all parties, but...

It seems things will work out

uwu

The end.... ?

Possibly the end

it has room for expanding into the actual watching portion but that's what I have so far and is a POSSIBLE stopping point

[calumsrockstar]

Bare - Poly 5SOS

a/n: I saw this album cover and had this idea...

Contents: smut (exhibitionism mostly)

Word count: 1.1k

In which the reader is a band mate and agrees to do the rolling stone cover photo.

5sos x bandmate!reader

Luke was working on his computer, while Calum, Mike and Ash were sitting next to him. "What the fuck?" He said to himself. Calum laughed, "What happened Lu?" He asked. "You guys gotta see this man." Luke laughed.

What was on the screen was an e-mail from the Rolling Stone magazine asking if they were interested in doing a naked photoshoot, nothing too explicit, they would be covering their genitals, and they would have writing all over their body.

Ashton started giggling loudly. "Well, that´s punk rock dude!" Luke paused. "Wait, are you actually considering doing this photo shoot?" He asked raising an eyebrow. "Well, it would be good for publicity, and also, we wouldn´t actually show anything, and it´s the Rolling Stone!" He uttered.

Mike paused for a few seconds. "Well, we would have to talk about this to y/n." Luke looked at him. "Yeah, i didn´t think about her...how would she even do that?"

"Well, she could wear underwear and just cover her tits? We would be wearing dick covers too, wouldn´t we?" Calum said. Luke started blushing. All of the boys had been having thoughts about her, but they had never admitted it.

"Well.... who´s gonna tell her?" Michael said. He, Calum and Ashton said "not it!" at the same time, which left Luke being the responsible one.

"You guys are such assholes." Luke muttred under his breath. All of the boys started laughing.

You were in your room listening to music. Luke knocked at the door while the other boys were listening in.

"Come in!" You said to Luke. "Hey y/n, I was just wondering if I could talk to you about something." Luke said quietly. "Yeah, what do you need?" You asked curiously.

"So... There´s this photoshoot we got asked to do." Luke told you. "That´s amazing Lu! How will it be?" Luke paused. "Okay so basically we gotta be naked." You raised an eyebrow. "It´s nothing too explicit, we´re gonna be covering our stuff with our hands." Luke asserted. You started laughing, and Luke rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

"Wow, you´re not kidding." You said, smiling. "Yeah, if you´re not comfortable it´s totally okay, you don´t need to do it." He cooed.

"I want to do it." You said sternly. His jaw dropped. "Really?" You laughed. "Yeah, it´s gonna be good for publicity, and well, it´s not gonna be that explicit." You said, winking.

He stopped and started thinking about how your body looked like naked, he´s seen you before after a shower with your tight pijamas, but nothing too lewd.

His jeans were starting to get tighter around his crotch, he needed to get those thoughts out of his head now. "Lu? You there?" You asked. "Yeah! Yeah! I´ll tell the boys!" He exclaimed while leaving the room. You chuckled to yourself.

"Guys, you won´t believe this, she said yes." Luke said quietly to everyone. All their jaws dropped. "Oh my God" Ashton muttered.

The next day came, and you were all getting ready for the photoshoot. "This is so weird man, never thought I would be naked in a room with all of you." Calum said. Everyone laughed. The boys felt a pit in their stomach, knowing you could come out at any time.

You were in your dressing room. You had black lace panties on, doing your makeup and you were completely topless. What you didn´t know, was that your door was half open.

Calum saw the open door with the side of his eye. You looked amazing, your hair was curled and your body looked like it was sculpted by gods.

The other boys were quick to notice too. They all looked at each other. "Dude..." Michael uttered quietly. "Are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room?" Ashton said. "She´s so fucking hot." Calum said.

"I don´t think I can do this anymore." Luke said. Ashton started giggling. "Why? Did the blood go to the wrong place Lu?"

What they didn´t know, is that you were enjoying this as much as they did. This was your fantasy. A room with 4 naked men, that you´ve had a crush on forever? Sounds like a great plan.

Every boy there was mesmerized, all of them had imagined you naked before, but this was even better than anything their imagination could create.

You opened the door. The four boys immediately looked the other way. "Come on guys, we´re all adults here." You said, while smiling. Michael coughed awkwardly. "Let´s do this." Calum said.

The photographer had specific requestes. You had to take a photo next to each one of the boys. "Be sexy and bold!" The photographer exclaimed.

The boys could not ignore their growing erections, it was getting uncomfortable to all of them. They could only hope it would be over soon so they could go to their rooms and stroke their cocks thinking of you. You on the other hand, were loving this.

In the first picture, you were in the middle of Calum and Luke, both standing awkwardly. You posed for the picture. "Luke, put your arm around y/n." The photographer said. Luke coughed. It was getting hard enough to cover his boner with one hand. He put his hand on your waist.

The sensation was amazing, you were wet immediately.

"Now y/n, go next to Ashton and do a kiss on his cheek." The photographer exclaimed. You were happy to do what you were told, covering your tits, you placed a soft kiss on Ashton´s cheek. He started blushing.

Now, it was your turn to go to Calum´s side. "y/n, stick your toungue out." You did as told. "That´s amazing, the fans will love it." Calum looked at you while the photographer took the picture. Calum´s mind was racing thinking of what you could do with that toungue. "Calum, look at the camera, not at her." The photographer said sternly. Michael laughed.

In the last photo, the photographer told Michael to stand behind you, and for you to make a surprised expression on your face. While he was behind you, you adjusted yourself in front of him, wiggling your ass around on his cock.

You could feel his dick close to your body, you smirked, then the final picture was taken.

"We´re all done here!" The photographer said, with a smile on his face. All the boys sighed.

"Good work guys." You said, smirking, and returned to your dressing room, closing the door.

The guys were in silence looking at each other for a few seconds. "I really need to go to the bathroom." Luke said. The boys laughed. Ashton looked at him. "Touché."

[tgmsunmontue]

Life is too short to waste time matching socks... (1/5) WIP I

Hangster and Bob/Javy/Nat - set post mission with the Dagger Squad having been made a permanent squad.

                Bradley opens his locker and startles a little as something falls onto his head from where it was obviously balanced just on the door of his locker. Two pairs of socks, still in the cardboard sleeve, one with peach emojis and the other with eggplants. His first reaction is to roll his eyes, because it’s a little juvenile, butt and dick emoji socks. He knows none of the Dagger Squadron have a problem with him being gay. It would be a little hypocritical for some of them, considering at least half of them identify somewhere in the rainbow community, and they’ve had drunken rambling talks about it, about always having to strive to prove themselves and maybe that’s why they’ve all succeeded to become as good as they are.

                “Uh… are these a joke?”

                No-one says anything and he shrugs, puts the socks into his bag for home.

…            …            …

                “You’re not subtle. Well, actually, maybe you are, because he’s not figured it out yet.”

                “Maybe he’s figured it out and is just not interested in me like that so is just… pretending to not know so he doesn’t hurt my feelings.”

                Javy and Nat both snort.

                “What?”

                “Okay, for a start, when has he ever tried to spare your feelings?”

                “We’re friends now. Sort of.”

                “Yeah. Sort of. Because he wants to dick you down.”

                “Classy Trace, real classy.”

                “I’m sorry, since when have you ever cared about class? You’ve got a hardon for a guy that wears Hawaiian shirts by choice.”

…            …            …

                “Someone gave you socks and you think they’re… playing a prank? Normally the socks are covered in itching powder, or shoes with shaving foam, buckets of water above the door, laces tied together…”

                “It’s what’s on the socks. Here. Look.”

                Mav stares at them. Looks up to Bradley.

                “Farm produce?”

                Bradley winces, he really doesn’t want to have to explain the double meaning of the emojis to a man nearing sixty.

                “God your face. I’m old, I’m not dead. I know what those mean.”

                “So, do you think someone’s making fun of me?”

                “For what?”

                “Uh. Being gay? Having a, um, actually, never mind…”

                “You a bit of a shower huh?”

                “Jesus Mav…” Bradley mutters as Mav just laughs.

                “Clearly nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe someone’s paying you a compliment. Or they have a weird way of flirting? I don’t know what you kids do these days.”

                “I think we’re too old to be classified as the kids of today, considering some of my friends have kids who they’re already struggling to understand.”

                “Everyone’s a kid to me.”

                “Yeah well, you are ancient.”

                “Hey! You’re meant to respect your elders!”

                It’s Bradley’s turn to laugh and it’s good, their relationship slowly healing. Of course, Penny sitting them both down and acting as mediator; forcing Mav to tell him that it had been his mom’s wish… He no longer has moments of fleeting anger and resentment, realizing that life is too short to hold this grudge when he’d worked around it anyway, that it hadn’t actually seriously impacted his career progression, that it had simply been the lying and lack of support which had felt like the deepest of betrayals.

                When he gets back to his accommodation he picks up the socks holds them in his hands, they’re good quality, brand new and unused and while it was clearly three pairs he’s only been given the two and he wonders if the other person has kept a pair for themselves. He’s desperate to know, a building mystery. He knows it has to be a fellow aviator, because they were delivered to his locker. So definitely an aviator. Or someone close enough to ask one of them to do it for them.

                He can figure this out.

…            …            …

                “Is this getting even more painful or is it just me?”

                “If I didn’t know better I’d think they were secretly together and winding us up, but Jake can’t act to save himself, so… he’s actually gone on him.”

                “They have a very weird way of showing each other that they like each other…”

                “Well… Rooster grew up with Mav as his role model. Were we expecting him to be normal?”

                “You raise a valid point.”

                “And Jake… well. His parents are so much older than him, his older brother pretty much raised him and he isn’t exactly the most, uh, demonstrative of guys?”

                “Is that a diplomatic way of saying he’s a bag of dicks?”

                “Don’t you like dicks?”

                “I like dicks when they’re attached to guys I like, I would make a hard pass on a bag of lose dicks just jiggling around like that…”

                Javy and Bob exchange slightly horrified looks.

                “Hey, what are you guys talking about?”

                “Bags of detached dicks…” Bob says, pushing his glasses up his nose and somehow maintaining a completely straight face.

                “I’m... I’m sorry I asked. I’ll leave you to it,” Rueben says, doing a sharp one-eighty and heading back out the way he came in.

                The three of them burst into laughter and it’s a nice break from their moan and groan session discussing the problem of Hangman and Rooster and their combined obliviousness. How they’re both so intelligent but so equally clueless makes the three of them despair.

                “Okay. I’m going to invite them both to dinner and then stand them up, so they have to have dinner together.”

                “Yeah, they could just get up and leave…”

                “No, they won’t, I’ll make sure of it,” Natasha states and the other two decide not to argue any further.

                “I’m going to suggest we do an escape room, and then need to take an emergency call… one of you are going to need to be my emergency call,” Bob says, looking between them, flushing a little as Javy simply looks at him and smiles.

                “I’m going for tried and true. I’m going to lock them in a room and then text them both and then let them sort it out.”

                “Looking them in a cupboard, real mature.”

                “As mature as them. The solution needs to match the problem. He gave him socks with butt and dick emojis.”

                “Yeah okay, you raise a fair point…”

                “Anyway, if the dinner and escape room ideas don’t work then I think we'll all be ready to lock them up. Or bang their heads together.”

…            …            …

PART TWO

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Headcanon/Concept:

'The Tattle-Tale Heart'

"You should be dead." Lucifer advises, his tone bored and overall utterly unenthused about the whole situation. To be fair to his majesty, Lucifer was doing this under duress.

Said duress was a few feet away, eyes brimming with anxiety and worry as her father crouched over the pinned Overlord, clearly concerned for a number of reasons. The chief of which was the injured red prick, and a close second was likely the fact she'd had to use force against someone even for their own good.

A Princess of all that was dark and demonic, and yet, the little lives of sinners and their miserable woes seemed to wring her heart out. It was touching, and infuriating, in equal measure. Sometimes he can't help but wonder if she held more of Lillith or himself in that deceptively sweet humanoid form. Both had loved to help, in their own way... but only Lucifer had once agonised over enforcing his will on others.

Struggling against the bonds tethering the idiot to the floor, -and good luck with that you pompous fuck because those are divine bindings-, Alastor snarls at the King. Face so close they could just about kiss, though nothing would disgust him more, and he's pretty sure from what he's sussed out about the guy... Al here wouldn't be a big fan either.

Hah, maybe he should, just to get one over on the assho-... whoa, no, nope. That would cross a line. He blinks back to the situation at hand as Charlie touches his shoulder, a gentle query.

"Uh, Dad? Are you okay?"

"Er, yep, yup, yes totally my duckling! Just got lost in my head, you know how it is." Cemented into the current moment, Lucifer again rests his palm against the damaged flesh before him, the divine energy surging back at him was almost depleted through his earlier efforts but the wound looked pretty bad underneath.

"And you, you arrogant dick, should be dead."

"And you, your majesty, should have your eyes checked... it is merely an injury taking it's time to heal over. It's hardly the first time an angel has gotten too close... speaking of, would you care to remove your hands from me before I remove them for you?"

The warbling warning in the voice is easily batted aside by the royalty present, as the severity of the injury becomes clear as the light leaves it. Lucifer feels the divine surge of it in his palms as it joins his own half-divine, half-demonic form and writhes about for a bit.

An angelic essence tantrum, one could say, and knowing that it came from Adam of all the arrogant feathered fools above... Lucifer would have to say it was on-brand.

Charlie gasps, "Oh Al, you should have said something..."

Lucifer's gut clenches as he can actively see the way something sharp in Alastor's expression softens as he addresses Charlie.

"My dear, this is hardly the worst thing that has happened to me in Hell, it would have healed in time. What else do we have down here but time to make further mistakes? Hah-ha!

"No. I asked you to fight with me, and you took on the First Man to help defend my dream... so Im telling you, as your business partner and weird sort of managerial kid, that you should have said something to someone before it got this bad. And I am really, really angry with you, right now, because I hate seeing any of you hurt... and knowing that you didn't think you could come to ask for help was-... was-..." Charlie's expression dissolved into angry, desperate sobs that seemed to throw both the men into the room into disarray.

"Now, Charlotte-... "

"Char-Char, it's okay, Daddy's fixing it!"

"...indeed, 'Daddy' is trying, apparently." Alastor can't help but snipe, earning a tightening of the bindings until he snarled. He opens his mouth to deliver what might be a withering statement about Lucifer, when things go rather awry.

With a violent slam, the door opens, and Vaggie enters with the spear aimed point-first. "What's wrong, babe? What did he do?"

"Contrary to your opinion, Vagatha, it appears it may be what I did NOT do... that is cause for this kerfuffle." Alastor explains, and his ears flattened backward against his skull, clearly surprising Charlotte enough that she stopped crying.

"Wait, those are your EARS? Ohmygosh they look so fluffy, can I to-... no, wait, you don't like touch. I'm so sorry..."

"A negotiation for later, perhaps."

"Oh you sonovabitch, don't you dare try to make a deal with her-...!"

"I wouldn't dream of using such a paltry thing for-..."

"Actually, Sir, they already made a deal." Vaggie adds in, and the room goes dead silent. "Which yooooooooou clearly didn't know about, and I'm going to need you to take several deep breaths because we JUST rebuilt the hotel, your Majesty."

"Oh relax, she still has her soul... it was for a favour. It was the best way to ensure our reputations remained intac-..." the sentence broke into a sharp static scream as Lucifer's clawed hand slipped into the angry maw of the jagged wound. Blood, fever-hot, slipped down his arm as the King slipped under a frantically trembling set of lung to grasp-...

...nothing.

The confusion snapped him right out of the momentary malice, eyes flickering back to normal as horns and tail receeded. Only just noticing Charlotte and Vaggie's hands on him, trying to yank him back from a very dark place.

Anger surges back up, how dare this sinner make a deal with his Charlotte? And then dare to call out the King for being a terrible father?

And yet... the statistical anomaly doesn't line up here.

"You should be dead." Lucifer states in a monotonous voice, no inflection of the curiosity and bewilderment that races through him. He casts about again and feels Something that isn't right, beating away impossibly... and a trace of something familiar. "Where's-... where's your-..."

"Dad, STOP!"

"SIR, PLEASE!"

Heeding the frantic cries, he allows the women to haul him back and away from the Overlord, his arm covered to the elbow in slick crimson blood. With some small amount of smug pride, Lucifer notes that the Radio Demon is ashen and panting, the frayed stitches about the wound were snapped from his attempts to pull away in his bindings. He sure hoped that the fucker would feel his hand there anytime he thought to try making a deal with Char-Char again.

An enraged Charlie fills his vision, horns on full display.

"Dad, what the seven rings was THAT?! You had NO RIGHT to hurt him like that, and I can-... I can make a deal if I want to. If you ever do that again I'll-..." She looked to be struggling to find a good enough threat.

"...sell your soul to the porn moth guy?" Vaggie grimaces.

"Yes! That!" Charlie points, eyes wild. "I'll let Valentino have my soul, and probably all my ho-..."

There's a loud screech of static and a demonic "NO!" at the same moment Lucifer cried, "SWEETIE NO!"

"You will never even jest about such a thing!" Alastor adds, his fixed smile twisting into a truly disgusted grimace. Charlie turns to him immediately, as if to reassure, but chooses instead to snap away the bindings.

"I'm sorry, I won't... he licked my arm that one time I went there and I accidentally set fire to his studio, so I'd rather fight ten Adams than try that again, so-..." she was rambling, her hands hovering as if she wanted to help but didn't know where to start.

Thankfully, Vaggie happened to have at least basic field medic training and some excellent common sense (hell edition) in her possession. She did wrinkle her nose at the strong scent of blood, exposed innards and some sort of infection that had yet to flush out as she knelt beside the overlord.

"Well, this is gross. No two ways about it. I think we'll need to clean this up first and then do some dressings... do we have any antibiotics floating around the hotel? Or was draining the angelic energy enough to get your regeneration to kick in? Not sure how it works for Overlords compared to regular sinners."

All business. In the moment and handling the crisis in front of her like Lucifer should have.

Chagrined, Lucifer snapped his fingers and removed the extraneous blood from everyone present. "Charlie, I'm sorry you had to see that, I just-... you can't go making deals. Not with sinners, or goetia, or hellhounds, or the Sins - especially not Uncle Mammon if I see one sexbot version of you I will exterminate him to ashes- or ANYONE ever again. You're the Princess of Hell, a favour can be twisted to topple the entire realm if used carefully..."

"Dad, I know that. But I made a choice, and you don't get to come along and torture people I care about because of that choice." Charlie shoots back, there's a pointed venom in the statement, and briefly Lucifer considers what it must have looked like for her, to see him go from healer to harm-inflicter without a momentary pause.

"You're right. I overreacted." Next time he would wait until Charlie wasn't there to enact violent revenge. "Now, if you want me to I will heal the deer as long as he uses your favour up to get that healing."

"What?!" Charlie is indignant. "No, no you don't get to make my decisions for me like that. If you make that the condition, I'll just... make another deal for-... for twenty favours! Including weird sexy stuff that would make Angel blush!"

"...please don't, on my account." Alastor drawls, looking vaguely ill at the notion. "And do not trouble yourself over it sire... I have no intention of using the favour, it was necessary to share the information across. You created the rules for this place after all. "

Lucifer could second that. "True." Damn, he hated giving ground to the daughter-bewitching demon.

"Would you like to make a deal about the favour, little majesty, to make you feel better?" Alastor grinned, strained at the seams and uncomfortable to look at for too long.

"Oh fuck off... how about this, I heal you and you tell me where the FUCK your heart is?" He offers instead.

"WHAT?" It's unclear who shouted that lounder, Vaggie or Charlie. Telltale footfalls on the lower staircases meant that this little exchange had not gone unnoticed by other staff and their solitary guest. The door locked itself with a little devilish insurance against sudden intruders.

Alastor tried to glare hatefully at the King, but the effect was rather ruined by his pale features, and the obvious strain of remaining functional given everything going on.

"Perhaps you do need to have your eyes checked, I am certain you just missed it due to your ineptitude with anatomy. Isn't that why your wife le-...mmph?!"

Vaggie had taken the initiative to slam her hand over his mouth in a brave and very desperate action to stop the King from incinerating the Overlord they begrudgingly cared about and worked with.

She made a shrug gesture and tried to laugh it off. "Uh, Sir, sometimes the bloodloss makes people a bit delusional... and conceited... and really fucking rude... so let's pretend he didn't say that, okay?"

Seething, tail lashing, the Devil hiimself had to count to fifty-eight in his head to calm down... but he managed it. He could be the bigger-... uh, the better demon here. Can't let the guy bait you again, he's just deflecting.

"Oh come now, Bambi... is that the best you got?" He grins, moving closer and enjoying (a tad too strongly) the way the other pulled back from his outstretched hand, only Charlie and Vaggie's presence trapped him in place. Subtly moving to pin his arms down. "We're going to overlook your bullshit bignoting for now, because I can see that Adam really fucked you up, and I suppose that you do kinda deserve a little bit of help for defending the hotel. I just need you to tell me where your heart is... and how in the seven rings you're still breathing."

Those ears remained flattened.

"Al, is it... something you CAN speak about?" Charlie asks, and the red eyes shoot open to stare at her, taken aback. "I... I saw the collar, a little while back. It was by accident, I swear!"

"I would rather you not have known, little majesty, it will draw attention... but I can. Speak about the situation. I guess."

"I really appreciate you trusting us with this." Charlie encouraged, genuinely proud of getting honesty from her friend, whose past, secrets and motivation were all a mystery at this point.

With a flat sigh, refusing to look at Lucifer, Alastor simply advised "Vox has it."

There's a beat of silence.

"Like, in a jar or-...?"

"You mean, metaphorically...?"

"Ugh, is this a cannibal dating thing?"

As their questions garbled together, Lucifer could see the way the Overlord immediately closed off to them, that fake smile brightening until a fake persona was firmly in place.

"Nevermind. If you have sated your curiosity...?"

"Hold on, if what I think you did happened, then it's not possible. So what I want to know, is how you managed to do it?" Lucifer says, shifting on his knees because the carpet wasn't as plush as he'd originally assumed, and tentatively putting his hand against the wound. The weirdest thing... was that he could FEEL a heartbeat.

With concentration, he sent healing throughout the injury, encouraging broken vessels and torn muscles to mend, binding flesh and viscera back into place, and sending a sharp flush of energy to root out the infection he could just about taste in the air at this point.

As his magic passes through the pulse-point centres, a picture begins to form in Lucifer's mind.

"You have a pulse... so something's doing the pumping." He murmurs. "There's a shadowy something there, like a fake heart... made of something imbued with three different types of magical signature... and I can't think of anyone who would have known how to do this, in this ring. But it's not...real? Like an echo, but it's working."

"As I said... this is not the first encounter with an angel, your majesty."

"Hey, you alive in there?" a voice calls, multiple fists bang on the door. "Say the word, we got weapons!"

"We're okay! Thank you, though!" Charlie calls back.

"Use ya safeword if ya need it! We'll come... heh... right in and start blastin!"

"Fortheloveof-... OKAY, THANKS!"

Lucifer snapped his fingers in front of Alastor's face.

"Hey, focus, I need to know how this happened, it doesn't make SENSE and reeks of something sinners shouldn't be able to do. I healed you, so spit it out already."

"...fine. During a disagreement several years ago, in the manner in which we often disagreed, neither Vox nor I realised the Extermination had begun until angels flooded the area. Enlarged forms making us the centre of attention until one managed to pierce Vox's heart and take him down."

Alastor clenched his teeth so hard that rivulets of crimson began to run down his chin. A faint outline about his throat glowed a familiar colour, and Lucifer was rather hoping that the digs at his eyesight might be true, because there's no way that-...

"When the exorcists assumed we were both deceased or dying, they left... and someone else arrived. Someone who we all know... who would not be pleased to have their name shared. Someone whose magical healing was more... creative than most, and would use that for the chance to collar at least one overlord to their cause."

"Don't you hate Vox though?" Vaggie asked.

"Not really, no. I dislike what he has chosen to become, and the disagreement was around the liberties that foul moth was taking... if you think having him lick your arm was bad, Charlotte, try having him attempt to jam his tongue in your mouth before formal intorductions were even made. I wanted him dead. Vox saw potential and growth there... we disagreed."

"So you were... friends?"

Alastor tilted his head with a crunching sound, positively beaming as he added, "Why no, dear... we were married."

Lucifer rubs his temples, feeling like the main character of a sitcom at this point. "Okay, so you like the television, got it... next part, tell me about the heart!"

"I already have. To clarify, Vox was almost gone and Someone knew a way to move a willing participant's organ to the body of another, until such time as the recipient's own has healed or the living donor is killed. The specifics of it all remain somewhat... blurred, due to the nature of the situation, but it also creates a facsimile that works in place and at the same rate as it's real counterpart outside the body. I suspect it was bound with a trace of Vox's magic, as well as my own... and that of Someone."

"Ho-ho-hokay, that is ridiculous, that kind of thing has never worked. I saw some weird humans trying that sort of nonsense in the Living World a few centuries back, but they also seemed to think drilling holes in your skkull could make headaches stop, so I didn't take any notice!" Lucifer rambled, digging through the disorganised mess in his head for some clarity on where, when and which peoples that information pertained to. Downside of being immortal... you remembered a lot, but you only had the one main train of thought to check all the stations.

"Oh, it worked, alright... as you could see. Or more aptly, could not." Alastor rebutted. "It worked, because there were elements that Someone needed to use, that a living world counterpart would have no ability to extract or utilise. Such as memories, feelings, concepts that were given form as part of whatever it was they did."

"Does... Vox know?"

"No."

"Wait, how does he not know? Did you just like, not tell him 'oh hey by the way you have my heart in a literal and a metaphorical way'?" Lucifer frowned.

"Part of what Someone did required the blood of an enemy, the loss of an innate right, and the memories of affection shared. Somehow this conveyed into lost freedom and Vox's memories of our relationship being erased entirely. He is, however, alive."

"That, uh, that sucks... dude." Vaggie tries to provide comfort, but is wildly out of her wheelhouse here. Charlie looks likewise flummoxed.

"Hah! Why yes, it does suck... but what is done is done. I have chosen to see it as mildly hilarious... after all, if the picture box does get his fondest wish and manages to kill me, he'll drop dead right alongside my corpse! Hahahahahaaaaaa!"

Charlie grimaced. "Oooh-kaaaaay, Al... you know I love and value you... so please don't take this the wrong way but... I'd like you to maybe try a few of the therapy sessions."

"My dear, I'd rather have your faher go fishing for my non-existent heart again..." there's a pause. "Hah, how poetic... the Devil seeking after the heart of a sinner, it feels like one of those telenovelas Niffty loves to watch. Oh, she will get a kick out of this when I tell her!"

"Whoa, I was trying to hurt you... don't make it weird!" Lucifer backtracks, eyes wide in alarm.

"Were you not elbow-deep inside m-...?"

"Nope! No! Not doing this, I get enough innuendo from the tall guy downstairs, thanks. From you, it's horrifying. Just... no." Lucifer flushes, angry and a little horrified about how this had all gone to (heh) Hell from the minute Charlie had decided to ask for his help.

'Dad I'm worried about Alastor, he's really hurt and won't tell me what's wrong.' She'd said. 'Please help me corner him and see what we can do, Vaggie said she feels angelic energy on the guy.'

And so he'd trundled along to play hero dad for Charlie, as always, and the red fucker had thrown such a hissy fit that normal restraints couldn't pin him down. So Lucifer had to break out some blessed ropes that he hadn't seen since Lillith left, and Char-Char had to whip up some royalty-grade divine bindings. He was very proud of her, but this was a mess of a situation.

Not to mention the fuss the big baby kicked off when Lucifer had snapped his shirt and coat aside to get at the bandages. Ugh.

And now here he was dealing with the only person in all hell he thought wouldn't thrown an innuendo his way, making weird insinuations while Charlie and Vaggie sat in stunned apprehension.

What was his life these days?

Ah, fuck it.

"Okay, so... what does this mean for the hotel? If the Someone is who I think you're alluding to, 'cause I'd know that magic anywhere, then clearly you're here for more than entertainment." Lucifer levels at Alastor, who was subtly wiggling his way free of the restraining girls.

"Nothing I can share. It would suffice to say that I was with Someone in a place a Cut Above the Rest for seven or s years... and then was tasked with ensuring that the others remain In Their Place without overtly damaging anything. If that makes sense?"

"...loud and clear."

"But why would... that person... want to see me fail?" Charlie asked, crestfallen, and Vaggie was instantly shuffling across the carpet at her for a hug. "I... I called so many times..."

"The ties that bind sometimes have knots in them, my dear... and as I am a man of my word, so are they."

"Who did... they... make a deal with?" Lucifer asked, curious and anxious all at once, feeling rather like a well-shaken can of soda.

"...one whom Niffty managed to tidy away. I do not know what that means."

"Okay, this is not great, but its more info than I had before all this started. So... is Someone coming here? What does it mean for you if they do? Does the whole..." Lucifer taps at his own chest, "stop working if you tell us anything, or something happens to them?

"I... don't know. The deal was made under circumstances of altered consciousness and bloodloss... but I would not be willing to test shattering or pressing against the boundaries just yet. I will not put that idiot video podcast in harm's way, even if he will never remember why."

"Understood." Fuck this fucker for starting to feel relatable. But if it was Lillith, or Charlie... he'd do whatever it takes to keep them safe.

"Okay, so we just... prepare for whatever happens, then, I guess. And if we have to do magical CPR on a television or something, we do it." Charlie says, right eye twitching as she makes some elaborate plans in her terrifyingly clever brain. "Vaggie, I'm going to need to break out my glitter glue for this... but I have a plan."

A flash of fear in that bright eye, before love replaces it. "Anything for you, babe."

"Do you require assistance, or would you prefer I return to regular duties instead? I understand that one of the rooms may have gained sentience and has attempted to eat Niffty twice today." Alastor says, buttoning his shirt closed, and using a small flick of his magic to remove both rumples and bloodstains from the fabric.

"Oho no, mister, you are taking it easy!" Charlie threatens, finger pointing and waggling sternly.

"Yeah, you don't look great... your body at least needs a chance to restock. Magical healing doesn't mean it didn't deplete your energy, just that a little boost tried to get stuff jumpstarted." Vaggie adds, matching the Radio Demon's glare.

The room starts to go dark, as distortion swims freely through the air; no longer constrained by blessed rope and able to use his powers again.

"Yeah, no... not dealing with this." Lucifer rolls his eyes, extends a hand to the sinner's forehead and intones, "Sleep." Expression impassive as the Overlord crumples forwards, almost directly into Lucifer, who is thankfully stronger than his diminuitive form suggests.

As he rises from the floor and hefts the other into his arms, the King can't help but notice the frantic tempo of the other's pulse, visibly beating against that pale throat. Lucifer frowns, sure he'd managed to purge the infection from the Demon, because right now his pulse should be languid in sleep...

...and then a small flicker of movement outside the window catches his eye. A flash of crimson sunlight accidentally alerting the three royals and royal-to-bes of an unexpected voyeur.

"...he's gonna kill us all when he wakes up." Vaggie groans.

Charlie snaps her fingers and the drone shatters, but it's already too late.

-------

Across town, with his eyes wide in horrified awe, Vox finds himself putting a clawed hand atop his thundering heart.

"...fuck."

And wasn't that just the understatement of the day?

[otakween]

Digimon Frontier - Episode 2

Moving right along with rival-guy's spirit digivolution. And it turns out that the plot for this series is indeed identical to the plot of the D-Project game. Cherubimon is the bad guy again. Why is he destroying the digital world? IDK. I don't even really remember if Cherubimon had a motive in D-Project aside from "mwahaha."

Notes:

There are train digimon now. TRAIN. DIGIMON. What is this Dinosaur Train!? I see what they're doing...(Also, wouldn't it be badass to fight with a train as your partner? lol). I guess we had a submarine digimon in 02, so this isn't all that new.

Glad I have a better grasp on the trajectory of the plot now, but it's still pretty vague. I wonder if they'll run into other kids or some wise digimon to learn more about what's going on.

I like that the episode was focused on Junpei and Tomoki trying to escape back to the real world. It's more realistic than everyone just being fully accepting of their situation immediately. Also, they have more of a reason to believe they can get home since the trains that brought them in are right there.

I know that they're digimon, but I recoiled a little at the thought of feeding "animals" chocolate lol. "That can't be good for them!" (Not how it works).

The Raremon scene was probably my favorite part of the episode. I liked how abrupt the digivolution was, the smooth animation, and just getting the chance to see a digimon who hasn't been featured in a bit.

So...Wolfmon. Did they really have to make him look like a Garurumon digivolution? Koji's bandana is kinda Garurumon-esque as well. Like, maybe it's an homage, but to me it just feels boring. Do something else! The one thing I did find interesting is that they gave him the element of light, which feels pretty different for a rival character.

Why did Takuya get booted out of his Agnimon form? Are they only allowed to have one digivolution at a time or something? (I'm joking, but idk)

Glad that Junpei called Koji a weird guy. Yeah! Acting like a dick doesn't make him cool he's just a weirdo.

[mediumstrength]

SXF MANGA REREAD: CHAPTER 1

The conclusion of the second season has left me alone and bereft please join me as I fill the void.

We start with some bitchin spy action

oh shit

Truly the first few chapters are why I think you see so many people upset about the series settling into a slow burn family comedy. You start off with some juicy Hollywood movie shit here. Assassination! Straight off the bat! Cars careening off bridges! Great stuff.

Now, it’s time for a little quick exposition. We got two countries, they don’t like each other, they are using spies, blah blah.

SHODDY WORLDBUILDING:

In Japanese they are straight up written Eastern Country and Western Country (with “Ostania” and “Westalis”) in furigana. Tatsuya Endo, please.

There is one spy who’s the best tho

Here he is!! It’s our boy!!

He’s bamboozled that bad guy out of those silly pictures!! Time to also be mean to the dude’s daughter.

lol what a dick

A NOTE ON FASHION:

“Robert” is not as fashionable as “Loid,” the double breasted suit was already on the way out in the early 60s (The SXF vibe seems to be early 60s? Except when it isn’t?) being replaced by the single breasted suits we generally see him wearing. Edgar also is wearing a double breasted suit, but he doesn’t seem like the type to worry about fashion trends.

Loid however does seem to really care about looking sharp, and I’m proud of him for that. It’s basically his only non spy-related interest. Maybe someday he will have two interests!

Loid gives Karen a new complex, and then waltzes out of her life. Onto the next mission!

SHODDY WORDBUILDING:

Berlint 😂

On the train to Berlint, Loid learns that he has to become a fake dad for silly bullshit reasons that are vital to world peace. This silly bullshit is called Operation Strix, and it is so, so important. The most important mission ever.

I wonder if there’s some significance to the name Strix? It’s a mythological creature, but also a genus of owl. In Japanese it’s written 梟, which literally means owl, so maybe the mythological part is not intended?? I want to know more.

The early art is weird at times

ON THE SPELLING “LOID”:

I hate it.

The real estate guy asks him if he has a girl or a boy, and he says he doesn’t know yet. I feel like I should hate these jokes where Loid says something mind-blowingly suspicious, but I actually love it every time.

Anyhow! On to step two: secure a child.

Tatsuya Endo has a real talents for making just the most detestable jerks. I love to hate you, drunk shitty orphanage guy!

It’s her!! It’s Anya!! The early art is, again, a little weird here.

The absurdly hard crossword puzzle is such a good gag.

Daughter acquired!

ON THE TRANSLATION “PAPA”:

I love it. There’s no real equivalent to “chichi” in English, so they went with something that means dad, but is also a little weird and a little baby talk-y. Perfect. I watched a couple episodes of a fan sub of the anime, and they translated it as “Daddy” which is cute but is simply not weird enough. Anya is a Weird Little Girl.

Anya immediately begins helping, by acting deeply weird and suspicious. We love it.

I love that Spy Wars is just always on somehow.

Onwards! They go out and do some shopping! Anya is a lot! Loid doesn’t understand her! He goes to his local library about it, which is kind of adorable? And gives an early glimpse into a fundamental aspect of his character. With enough information, Loid can accomplish anything. He is certain of this. He has built his whole life around this concept.

LOID HAS NEVER HAD FUN IN HIS LIFE:

You are accidentally playing hide and seek with your daughter somehow, with no idea that it is even happening. Amazing.

Anyhow he finally barricades her in the fucking house lol

It’s Franky!! I love you, Franky.

He tells Loid that his new kid legally does not exist, and has been returned to the orphanage 4 times, and Loid decides not to look further into any of that. Greatest spy in the west.

Meanwhile Anya is causing problems. I love her.

Edgar is back, which doesn’t make sense because the Edgar stuff was happening in another city, but I guess Edgar is just also in Berlint now for some reason.

We get a brief flashback to Anya’s time as an Eleven-style lab rat, which is sad. What does “studying” entail? I think we will all be sad when we find out ☹️

Loid returns and we are treated to a sick. ass. fight. Loid takes a guy out with a can of tuna. He breaks a chair over a dude’s head. I think there was some commentary from Endo (maybe in Eyes Only?) about how using improvised weapons just hits harder. We know more about cans of tuna than guns or whatever. We can imagine what taking a tuna can to the face would feel like.

What a dick.

Anyhow, Loid bamboozles the same guy with the same trick a second time, bravely rescuing Anya, and now it is time for a sad flashback

Don’t cry, little german boy.

Anyhow, the world where kids don’t cry thing should be so corny, but they really pull it off somehow.

For some reason he decides to walk back into danger and beat those guys up?

When did he have time to set these traps??

Sick

Loid kicks everyone’s asses, and then, there’s Anya waiting for him, and she wants to stay with him. This is the moment. This is the moment where he realized, subconsciously, that he loves her. Consciously is still a work in progress. But like, he already cares about her so much. It’s been been like 2 days, and he’s gone from “I hate kids” to “I can’t abandon this little girl who I callously adopted to use for my own purposes”

(…This is the plot of the Despicable Me, isn’t it?)

This little scene on the streetcar warms my heart. Papa is a cool liar.

Ok, jesus christ this chapter is long. I didn’t realize that we also have getting into Eden happening the first chapter??

Anya takes the entrance exam, her cheating plan, as usual, does not really work out, but she does her best and she passes.

Loid experiences a single moment of relief and collapses 😂 The man is so powered by sheer anxiety that his body doesn’t know how to react.

Anya gets the mail, there is a little cute cuddling, and then, the kicker! We need a mama!!

Chapter rating 4/5

A little too much stuff happens in this first chapter, on reread. The streetcar scene is such a logical ending! The Eden test, and then the subsequent complication of needing 2 parents felt tacked on, almost like that should have been padded out a little and made its own chapter, but also I am eager to get to my girl Yor so 🤷‍♀️

Looking back on some of their earlier interactions, Loid has not been thinking through Strix logically from the start. This kid has no birth certificate, and she has been repeatedly returned to the orphanage like a naughty puppy for no obvious reason. She is (allegedly) 6 and she solved a crossword where one of the words was “symplectomorphism” with no adult assistance?? There are some questions he should be asking here, but instead he’s buying her posters and snacks.

He hasn’t had anything to love in so long, you guys. He’s going to love this kid with everything he has, it’s just going to be a long, long time before he understands that it’s love.

[nono-bunny]

Underrated aspect of NPMD that really captured me is the kids and the relationships they have with their parents

We already knew Mayor Solomon Lauter was a bad dad from Abstinence Camp, so his behavior here was nothing per se, but... Wow, he really truly doesn't care at all for Steph, huh? "Damn you soul to five eldritch abominations, I'm not messing with them again!" he basically says to his teen daughter before getting demolished by a ghost. Again? Never did I think I wanted to learn more about that nasty man before, but... Now I am intrigued.

Grace's parents make me so fucking uncomfortable the way they speak to each other tbh, but also in terms of their relationship to her? Yeah I fucking see where she's coming from now, her parents are so controlling and stifling that it's no wonder she gets a little bit of power and goes insane!

Pete and Ted's dad sells ladies shoes and? I think that's all we ever get about their parents iirc, but we do know that they were both sent to Camp Idontwannabang and despite both of them being weird, they also seem to me like they might just have the overall most loving and normal parents. We know Ted's personality changed over time, and he and Pete seem to have an overall positive relationship as far as I could tell, but it's not like? Foster's level of caring for one another in their parents stead and the fact that we never hear anything BAD about their parents make me think that they just aren't very remarkable, so like? Good for them honestly

Ruth??? Oh my god Ruth is so lonely and starved for love and affection I cannot imagine a world in which she has loving parents, she mentions talking to fucking telemarketers all the time but never once talks about her family and honestly??? That kinda says it all for me, Ruth seems to be in a very unloving home and I'm so sad for her- her focus on broken families in The Barbecue Monolgues feels like it's also indicative of her personal life tbh, poor girl!! I'm glad she has Richie and Pete, she's weird af but so are they and they make it work!

Richie says nothing about his family either so I'm just gonna. Headcanon him having like, a normal family who thinks he's a bit weird but loves him all the same and doesn't like, try and stop him from living his life because that's the kinda environment his very open love of anime seems to imply to me

And finally... Oh my god, Max... Yeah his dad is 100% abusive. Him being afraid of going back home even when he's frightened of ghosts and skeletons, the way he loiters around public places after school looking to take out his own frustration on others... His bullying and abuse seems like learned behavior and I actually feel so bad for him, he's a complete dick but he's also not wrong about the way literally nobody cares about him once he dies. Is it weird that I feel like the school is seriously failing him by brushing off his behavior rather than checking on his life situation of trying to find where it's coming from? Like, I get it, he's the star quarterback, they don't wanna mess with him or something (I'm not gonna even pretend to know how American high schools seem to work, the whole school environment before he dies is completely foreign to me) but??? Surely letting him just run wild like that would raise SOME alarm bells in someone's head that there's something wrong in his life???? Personally I headcanon the timeline where Miss Holiday becomes the guidance counselor to also be the one where he gets help from her and/or Duke. I don't know that there something inherently supernatural about him but SURELY Duke also works with normal families, right? Anyway in other life I hope he actually gets help because he seems to be in a really shitty situation and the school is just enabling his behavior which also naturally majorly sucks for everyone around him. The guy needs therapy fr

I actually really loved all six of them, and even though Max is awful, I kinda wanna see a story where they all team up and become friends because I kinda feel like they'd be unstoppable lol (also the symmetry of five Lords In Black and one Webby????)