#scary batfamily for their brother and his baby

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

TimKonBartCassie Clone Baby AU

Part 2

He jolts awake from if you call weird dream's about a gun slinging toddler with a flying a dog a restful sleep, to awake in a second.

It takes about ten more seconds for him to realize he is in his room at Titans Tower, his kid is gone which he is not currently too worried about once he remembers the conversation from last night.

He's already heading back to the lounge figuring it a good place to hunt down a secret keeping Impulse and everyone else.

Kon is holding him the baby asleep, while Bart rests in Cassie's lap. Various baby items from bibs, diapers, and clothes are neatly placed to the side of the couch.

Kon greets him with a soft smile that he can't help but return before sliding down next to Bart.

It's comfortable and he's grateful that's no one's mad, that they all just accepted Luci once again he's surprised by how family just goes with it no matter what.

He loves them so much.

It's only been about two minutes before Cassie breaks the silence.

"Alright, we don't know how much you remember but you passed out, we figured the sleep deprivation caught up, Kon carried you to bed, we wanted to wait until you were awake to finish the discussion about everything."

Tim breathes he wants to know everything Bart knows but logically this doesn't just concern them if Jason has a kid he has to inform him. Nevermind that he needs to get back to Gotham and talk to everybody.

"Ok, I think we all should head to Gotham, I can call a family meeting, Bart can finish saying whatever he knows to everyone, because I don't think it's fair that we sit with information that could effect everyone, but I don't just want to decided or do anything I already did, something pretty big without talking to you guys."

"I agree mostly the cave would be the best place, I'm not exactly ecstatic about talking to everyone. I think Rob's right, also I want Jon to meet his nephew."

Kon brings up a point that he hadn't factored in Bruce is a grandfather now Dick is a uncle so is Jason and Damian. He also kinda really wants to show off his baby he finally understands why Bruce keeps photos of them all in his wallet.

"I agree Diana is gonna be all over our little hellraiser and it's a lot easier if we just gather everyone up and do one giant explanation, than doing it a million times. Also I don't know about anyone else but free babysitting is a perk, kiddo didn't want to sleep at all most likely cause Mom passed out on the floor but who knows?"

Tim can't disagree other than, wait why is he mom?

"Tim you talked in your sleep and were very offended that Dad has baby memorie before Mom cause you created him."

Kon laughs distracting him with his sparkly eyes, how unfair.

"I didn't mean to say that out loud and yes I did all the complicated stuff so I will be Mom if I want to although I will share with Cassie if I have to." He pouts. 

It's surreal that he really does mean that and for some reason mom or dad it doesn't matter one bit he has a little baby, his own baby bird.

"Alright boys I think we should get a move on, Tim send out a message and have Batman gather everyone up, he will probably have an easier time then we would."

He grabs his phone he didn't even realize that he had it luckly it's late enough in the day that work and school for everyone shouldn't be a problem.

He texts both Bruce and Alfred that something happened no one is hurt, but he needs everyone in the cave from Supers, Bats, Titans, Outlaws, Wonder Woman's essentially if we would want them to know something important they need to be there as fast as possible.

Not even ten seconds later his phone rings which he expected.

"Tim what's happening?"

He's terrified it's really setting in that he has a a kid.

That he has to tell Bruce.

Yet he's relieved it's Batman, It's Bruce, it's Dad.

He fix anything and hopefully teach him how to change a diaper.

He can't stop the sob that follows.

"I just need you to do this, please Dad it's... I did something stupid, but so amazing and just please I need you ok. I am coming with Young Justice it involves all of us and make sure our family's there, just please. I can't explain over the phone."

"Ok sweetheart I don't know what's going on but it will be ok. Anything can be figured out. Alfred is calling everyone will be here in about an hour. Are you ok? Injuried?"

"No I'm ok just make sure everyone's there Dick, Alfred just we need them. I'll be there in about an hour and a half. I love you."

He hangs up.

-

Bruce is terrified he never dialed so quickly in his life and his son sounds well upset doesn't even begin to cover it, but he knows it's important he only had to look at Alfred before he was calling Jason who was already with Roy picking up Lian.

Dick, Damian, Duke, Cass already are waiting in the cave he practically screamed for them to get down here.

Alfred quietly informing them that something happened and that everyone needs to get to the cave.

Bruce can't move he hears Jason come in but he can't greet him.

Soon the Titans arrive conversing with mainly Roy and Dick.

Clark, Diana and Barry arrive soon after.

He sees Jon talking quietly with Damian finally he gets up.

Looks at his children, teammates and everyone he could possible think of might need to know about a catastrophic event.

He clears his throat.

"I received a message from Young Justice, I don't know what happened, all I know is it's something major apperently no one is injured but they need us I expect whatever is going on is upsetting they will need our support."

He looks at his boys and Cass trying to push reassurance but he doesn't succeed.

Clark and Diana look two seconds away from flying to Titans Tower only stopped by Alfred.

It's been a little over an hour and Bruce wants nothing more than to hunt down his son, and wrap him in his cape but he's stopped by Zeta Tube turning on.

Everyone turns.

Out steps an exhausted looking Connor Kent, followed by Cassie Sandsmark who shoot a quick smile at Bruce which immediately confuses him.

They both block the zeta glaring at everyone until Bart Allen appears holding up a clearly exhausted Tim who still has tear tracks on his face.

He looks like he is gonna drop at any minute but before Bruce can rush to his son.

Tim steps away from all three wrapped in Superboy's Jacket.

The leather falls.

There's a baby.

A exhausted grin comes across Tim's face before he speaks.

"I had a baby, these are the parents also Bart has a story to share...... Surprise?"

Before Bruce can even blink Dick is across the room followed by Jason.

Jason who quickly steals the bundle with a soft coo.

Dick kisses Tim's forehead before picking him up

"I gotcha little brother, to the med bay we go."

Jason follows a step behind purposefully keeping the baby in sight of his third son.

It takes less than a minute before Alfred is checking over Tim only to be quickly interrupted by Kon who is laughing.

"Rob, that phasing could use some work, yes we have a baby, he did not however give birth to it in the traditional sense. Not that I don't agree with the coddling he deserves it. What I want to know is why exactly did you people just steal our kid, if Mom needs a break he's got three Dads over here."

Dick interrupts from his place by Tim's side.

"My little brother is my priority he will be taken care of by me. I assume little brother goes where baby goes so baby will also be taken care of by me. I also could care less of how Littlest Bird came to be, all that matters is my brother and the baby are healthy and ok."

He glares straight at Connor which Bruce quickly joins him how dare that boy. His baby had a baby. He needs his family.

Everyone is still frozen other than his boys.

He walks over to Jason to get a closer look at his granddaughter based off the pink blanket.

He wants to hold her and keep her safe until Tim can but Jason looks two seconds away from shooting anyone who gets to close so she will be perfectly safe.

He will check on his baby instead.

He kisses Tim on the forehead who is being prescribed rest and fluids by Alfred. He will also not be walking anywhere for the foreseeable future he is assuming that there wasn't an actual birth but any excuse to carry his children he will take it.

Damian, and Cass have joined around Tim. Clearly both on guard with their brother so clearly vulnerable. 

"I am really glad you guys are taking it so well, but Bart has important information for us all, and Jay, I would like my baby and maybe a hug from Dick in that order."

Quickly she is given back to Tim and Dick joins wrapping around them a soft smile directed at them both.

"Yeah it might be best if I start talking, cause I think Rob is gonna kill me if I don't."

[fictitious-obsession]

Hiiii Anya,i'm back with a Jason Todd request :] Can you please do headcanons for him with a gender neutral s/o who's super soft/pastel and bubbly but also a powerful vigilante like him?

HI! Happy to see you again! Thank you so much for my first DC-related post!!!! I am so happy. :)))

This took me UNREASONABLY long to do. I am so tired and full of writer's block. I hope you like this! If it does not fulfill, feel free to make another request! :)))

Go be awesome! Hope you enjoy! - Anya

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jason Todd x Gender Neutral/Soft/Pastel/Vigilante S/O Headcanons

It took Jason some time to get used to your bubbly attitude for sure. He almost didn't believe it when you told him you were a vigilante

"How can my little angel do any harm?”

You love to shift his perspective to the positive, especially on rough days

He was used to more neutral or even pessimistic energy from his family. So you being bubbly almost constantly was weird for him

Loves the little movements and expressions you do when you’re excited, it makes his day to see you bouncing on your feet when you find something you like

Now, don’t let all this cute fool you. If he messes things up, you are definitely capable of kicking his ass and he knows it

You aim to have every member of the batfamily crack a smile, and so far you’re winning

He absolutely LOVES your romantic gestures. His favorite is when you stroke his hair and play with it. He finds it really comforting

Jason starts buying some of his clothes in pastels knowing you are going to steal them (He LOVES how they look on you)

Jason is so the type to do rooftop dinner dates, so be prepared for home-cooked or takeout on the roof of the manor or definitely throughout Gotham

He makes blanket forts with you...because deep down, he can be just as much of a man-child as Dick (in which, be prepared for other batfam members to want to join you in it)

Jason sneaks in little pecks and kisses while on the job (he cherishes you and wants to show it)

He gets you whatever cute trinkets you like most. Plushies? YES. Stickers? He’s got them. Knives for some reason? Why not?

You put cute stickers on his helmet...constantly. If he sees them, he will chase you around the manor for vengeance. But it is hysterical when he goes out without noticing them. Just confused baddies and thugs eyeing the Hello Kitty sticker waving at them from the back of the helmet (The imagery of this has me cracking up)

A shared bedroom will definitely be interesting with your very different aesthetics and likings. But in all honesty, he probably just lets you decorate the room

Date nights are adorable between you two. Jason’s brothers definitely try to spy every once in a while to see Jay acting all cute with you

When you kick ass, you KICK ASS. Sometimes he just stands back, amazed at your powerful punch and strategic technique

He helps you with protective additions to your suit. He loves you and doesn't want you hurt

You make stakeouts MUCH more fun. Waiting for something to happen is exciting when you smile and crack jokes from time to time.

Bad guys have noticed the Red Hood now has backup and that they are fierce as hell...

Although he is obviously protective of you, he is well aware of how much you protect him. You will pack a punch if someone hurts him. Pity on the soul who pisses you off

If you have a particular weapon you use, he will try to learn it with you so he can train with you and help you improve

If your suit is completely different from your bright personality, Jason will smile at it a lot

“My baby being all scary.”

[singtheskyandfightlikehell]

BatFamily Headcanons: Stuffed Animals

In an attempt to productively combat my recent writer’s block, I’m practicing writing the batfam characters through short character study fics (which I will post once I make enough) and comparative headcanons. I might end up making short fics out of these, as well, since some of them got a bit long anyways

Today I decided to explore how many stuffed animals each member of the batfam (plus an adjacent character or two) has, what they think of them, how they got them, etc. I’ve got eleven characters on this list (and I’m still missing some, sorry)

Bruce:

Bruce put aside stuffed animals when he was eleven, deciding it was time to become serious. However, since acquiring children, he has been gifted a number of stuffed animals, ranging from a small and realistic brown bat to a child-sized bear wearing his cape and cowl. None of the children know this, but he keeps them all in a prominent position in his walk-in closet. Sometimes, when he has a particularly nasty fight with one of his kids, or he discovers something (like an injury) that they were hiding from him, he’ll tell the stuffed animals all the things he struggles to tell his children in the hopes that, one day, he’ll figure out how to express himself when it actually counts.

Alfred:

Alfred has no stuffed animals of his own, but he keeps the old, worn teddy bear that was once Thomas’ and later Bruce’s, alongside the somewhat lopsided bunny that Martha attempted to sew for Bruce when he was two. They sit side by side in a spotless glass cabinet filled with other memories that various members of the family have at one point or another attempted to cast aside.

Dick:

Dick has a pair of stuffed elephants, Eleonore and Zitka, and a teddy bear of his own, all from the circus. Most of the time they sit on the shelf under one of his nightstands, but when he has a particularly bad day, he’ll hold them all tightly until he falls asleep. If he’s crying, he finds it slows the tears to press kisses to the tops of their heads, or just smoosh his whole face into them. Sometimes, if he’s having a particularly good day – especially if no one else is sharing in his good mood – he’ll tell them about whatever made him happy. The rarest occasions are a bittersweet combination of both, the moments when he dwells on his happiest memories of his parents. When this happens, he is more likely to address them than his family, talking to them like old friends who were “there” for the things he’s recalling. It reminds him of the parties he would host as a small child, attended by his stuffed animals and his parents and sometimes other people from the giant family that was Haly’s, and for just that moment he’ll feel suspended somewhere between grief and content.

Barbara:

Barbara had lots of stuffed animals growing up, but as she got older, she gave most of them away. The only one she kept was a little otter that her father gave her for her first birthday. She doesn’t remember this, of course, but they have an old home video of that day which she’s seen a few times, and she know it’s one of her dad’s favorites to watch when he’s feeling nostalgic. She does remember the way she used to drag the otter with her everywhere she went when she was about four, and it’s so worn now that all of its original fluffiness has disappeared. She sets it up near her main computer and uses it in place of a rubber duck.

Jim:

When Babs decided she was too old for her stuffed animals, Jim was instructed to give them away at one of the Gotham children’s toy drives he helps run as commissioner. Only about half of them ever make it out of the house, because he keeps looking at them and remembering little moments that involve each of them. He has two boxes full of them that he swears he’s going to bring to the next drive, but he’s been swearing that for over ten years now.

Jason:

When Jason first arrived at the manor, he swore up and down that stuffed animals were dumb kids toys that he was way too old for. The first time Dick showed up at the manor after Jason was there, he brought a plush dog he’d picked up on the way there, unsure what to get his surprise new brother but not putting an excess of thought into it either. After all, he wasn’t about to ask Bruce what Jason might like. Jason made a show of scorn and tossing the toy in the trash, but when Dick was gone he dug it back out. When he was sleeping, he clutched the dog protectively against his chest like it might be snatched away at any time. When he wasn’t sleeping, he kept it hidden in a box wedged under a floorboard beneath the bed, alongside his other contraband. It was there when he died and it’s still there now. Every time he’s in the manor, he thinks about sneaking into his old room to retrieve it, alongside some of his other old belongings, but he never does. His reasoning alternates between not caring, being too old for toys, not wanting to set foot in his old room, and not wanting to get caught caring after all these years.

He does however have an obnoxiously long bright red snake that Roy won at some sort of archery carnival game while they were supposed to be tracking a suspect. He’d griped at Roy for wasting time with frivolous games, a complaint that was very on brand for their relationship. He’s pretty sure Roy saw through him, though, and understood the real reason he was so antsy to leave the carnival, given his soft apology later that night. He also recently acquired a floppy stingray, a gift from Lian for his latest birthday. She told him that she’d gotten to pet a stingray at the aquarium where she’d bought it, and it reminded her of him. Specifically, she’d said he was, “Kinda dangerous and maybe a little scary, but actually really soft to anyone who’s nice enough”. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that description, but the gift had a place of pride, resting atop an old model of his helmet that Roy had “defaced” with a sweet message that always made Jason smile.

Cass:

Cass grew up without stuffed animals, and was honestly a little confused at first about why she might want one. The first one she ever got was a tiny key-chain cat that was given to her by a little girl she saved. She was unsure what to make of the object itself, but she treasured it as a symbol, proof that she was doing good in the world. It was Steph who convinced her to look for more, to look for stuffed animals in her “style”. Eventually, she got two of the most different ones she could find: an iridescent octopus packed tightly with beans and made of a coarse fabric, and a large fluffy goose that squished like a cloud and was made of the softest fabric imaginable. She likes tossing the octopus lightly in the air to feel the weight of it, and faceplanting into the giant goose. She also has a big bear holding a plush heart that Steph got her for their first Valentine’s.

Tim:

Tim’s relationship with stuffed animals is a bit more complicated. He had five growing up: a dog, a bear, a lion, a rabbit, and a lamb. They had names, stories, personalities, and they were his friends (his only friends, at the time). When he was seven, he woke up one day to find them gone. His mother scolded him for his tears, explaining that he was too old for baby toys, and that his attachment to them would only hinder his path forward. For years, he felt ashamed whenever he thought of his grief towards them, because he knew they were just toys, he knew he was being a baby about it, and yet…

It wasn’t until he was fifteen years old and stumbled across an article about autistic people and the projection of feelings onto objects that he understood why he had been willing to sneak out at night to search through pawn store after pawn store and – once – the landfill in the hopes of seeing his beloved toys again. As a teen in the Wayne household, he knew he could get as many stuffed animals as he liked, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so after what had happened before. He got one giant, floppy moose, barely half a foot shorter than himself, that he clings to like an octopus when he manages to lay down, whether he succeeds in falling asleep or not. Additionally, on a night after Jason made amends with the family, Tim returned to his room to find a fifteen inch plush latte with a cute little face on the mug portion and a sticky note on top that simply read: Sorry for trying to kill you a bunch. My bad :) He keeps it on top of his dresser, and while he doesn’t really hug it, he did discover it was the perfect object for chucking at his siblings’ heads whenever the situation calls for it.

Steph:

Steph loves stuffed animals. While she never got any of the fancy brand name ones, or the luxuriously soft ones, or the hyper-realistic ones, her mom had a tradition of buying her one for every birthday, Christmas, and Easter. She soon had quite a collection, and – like Tim – she gave them all names and personalities. She played out complex scenarios with them and the few dolls she had, designing an intricate world of wild concepts and plots. She also used her stuffed animals to conquer her fears, like thunderstorms and darkness, by pretending they were all more scared than she was, so she had to be brave for all of them. Steph still has her whole collection, as well as quite a few “nicer” (though equally loved) ones that she has acquired from various Waynes. At this point, pretty much everyone in the Wayne family has given her a stuffed animal at some time or other. For a couple of years now, she has taken to posing with her massive collection and making fake family Christmas cards to send out to everyone she knows, where she will update them on the well-being of any plushie they’ve given her.

Duke:

Duke also has a great love of stuffed animals, although he doesn’t match Steph for quantity. He only had a few beloved animals growing up, all of which he’s held onto (a panda, a penguin, a turtle, a frog, a leopard, and a pikachu). Since being fostered by Bruce, Duke has taken to searching out and buying only the rarest stuffed animals he can find: an anteater, a platypus, a manatee, a sloth, and an axolotl have made the cut so far. Bruce knows about this and has taken to keeping an eye out for anything interesting whenever he’s out. After accidentally mentioning it at a gala one time, it has since become his favorite topic, as getting drawn into an intense discussion with Bruce Wayne about where to acquire strange plushies for his son elicits one of two reactions from his guests: delighted awws or hilariously awkward attempts to steer the conversation back to high society definitions of business and pleasure. At Duke’s request, a large shelf was built around the top of his room, so that all of his stuffed animals can sit comfortably and be clearly seen.

Damian:

Damian was much like Jason when he arrived at the manor in more ways than one, but his determination to prove himself above stuffed animals was certainly on that list. He sneered at his siblings’ attempts to treat him like the child he swore he wasn’t. And honestly, even after he began to lower his walls just a little, he still wasn’t particularly fond of stuffed animals. Sure, he privately thought they were cute, and sure he might (might) find himself holding one at night if it happened to have been left in his bed by an annoying sibling, but in general he preferred live animals to fake ones. Real animals had personalities and feelings, fake ones did not, it was as simple as that, no matter what Stephanie claimed. But as time went on, Damian found himself acquiring a small army of stuffed animals against his will. Some of his siblings (Jason, Tim, sometimes Duke) gave them to him because they found it funny to watch him growl about how he was not an infant in need of deceitful comforts. Some of his siblings (Dick, Cass, sometimes Duke… sometimes his father as well) would give them to him because they knew he liked animals so they assumed he’d like imitations of animals as well. Steph would just give them to everybody, every now and then. But regardless of motive, Damian soon found his room overflowing with stuffed animals that were moderately cute but ultimately pointless.

It wasn’t until a patrol a few years after he’d taken on the mantle of Robin that he discovered a solution. Tim had hidden a tiny stuffed bear in the medical supply compartment of his utility belt, a felt bandage wrapped around its little head. He hadn’t been wounded, but the young girl he’d rescued had been bleeding from a wound that looked worryingly dirty. The bear had fallen out of the pouch, right into her lap, and she’d stared at it with wide eyes, surprise halting the flow of her tears. She’d held onto it the whole time he disinfected her arm and bandaged it, and afterwards he had insisted she keep it. For the first time that night, she’d smiled. After that, Damian began taking a few of his many stuffed animals out on patrol with him, ready to hand out to any and all injured, lost, or otherwise traumatized children once he’d rescued them from their troubles. Eventually he began running out of toys he’d been gifted, even though he kept getting new ones, so at some point he begins to regularly sneak out for the sole purpose of acquiring stuffed animals to hand out. He never tells his siblings, but he suspects they’ve found out anyway, when the presents they give him drastically decrease in size.

[unmaskedagain]

Five boys the Batfamily scared off (And the one boy who helped Marinette get revenge on them all)

This is actually based off a prompt/ask I got by #vixen-Uchiha

Okay, believe it or not, I’ve in history of all my days writing fanfiction (I just turned 27 and have been writing since I was sixteen); I started when Twilight was still at the height of its popularity. (All that work has been deleted, burned, and doused with holy water; don’t ask questions) But even with almost a decade of writing fanfiction, I never even considered approaching this fanfiction classic.

Until now.

Wish me luck. And don’t judge me too harshly.

Note this was also inspired by a poem I loved called To the Boys Who May One Day Date My Daughter by Jesse Parent

 Marinette always knew Tom was her step-father. Sabine and he married when she was three after all. And while she considered the great cuddly bear to be her dad, she still had a great relationship with her actual father: Bruce Wayne. And all her brothers and Sister.  She spent every summer with them and every other Christmas in Gotham. She loved her family. She just wished they take a chill pill.

And stop scaring away her freaking boyfriends.

Lê Chiến Kim: The Boy who swears Marinette’s related to the Boogieman

           If anyone asked Marinette now if she would ever date Kim, she’d have died of laughter. Kim was like a goofy cousin. They were great friends. Their moms were best friends. She just didn’t see him like that.

           However, it wouldn’t have been so funny to six-year-old Marinette who ran from school with a Daisy in her hair and a big smile her face.

“Daddy, Daddy,” She’d squeal to her Papa later that day. She barely noticed he was still wearing bat uniform, except the mask. Or all her brothers were with him.

“Hey Sunshine,” Bruce smiled lovingly at his youngest daughter. “You have a good day at school.”

“Give ‘em hell, firecracker,” Jason called from the background.

           Tim and Dick laughed. Bruce just shook his head amused.

“I got a boyfriend!”    

           Silence.

           That day would forever be known as the day all the smiles died. Seven-year-old Damian just blinked in confusion. He didn’t know what had happened but he knew it was bad. And that it involved his sister. Was she in danger? Did she need help?

           Before Bruce could process or respond to his precious, baby girl, who was way too young to date (And what the hell was Sabine thinking?). Dick literally pushed him out of his chair like it was nothing. “What’s his name? Who are his parents? Where does he live? And where can I find him right now?”

           Marinette, being too young didn’t notice the threat in her eldest brother’s voice and the look of murder in his eyes, had no problem telling Dick all about her best friend Kim, who was super nice, and gave her a Daisy, and kissed her cheek.

           When the call ended, Bruce brought up the picture of the boy in question. A nice-enough looking boy to most, but he knew the truth. He knew the evil in his heart.

I have been waiting for you, Bruce thought, not just to Kim but to all the boys who would day date his daughter, since before she was even born. Before you took your first steps, I was preparing to make it so you’d never walk again.

           However, Kim was still just a child. He needed a kinder touch. He looked back at his children: Dick, Jason, Cassandra, Tim, and Damian, and made his choice.

           When Dick showed up to walk her to the school the next day, Marinette didn’t think to question how her brother got from Gotham to Paris so quick. (Cough, misuse of Zeta beam). Or why he was dressed in all black with a scary biker jacket on. She just shrugged and let him help her tie her shoes and carry her bright pink, hello kitty, and backpack.

           He held her hand the entire way to school, where Kim and his dad were waiting by the doors. Kim had another daisy in his hand that he gave to Marinette.

“This is Dick,” Marinette introduced her brother. “My biggest brother. This is Kim, my boyfriend,” Kim preened. “Look, Dick, Kim got me another daisy.”

           Dick beamed at his sweet little sister, “I see. Hey! Isn’t that you’re friend Rose? Why don’t you go show her?”

“Okay!” And she ran off.

           As soon as she was gone, Dick’s smile quickly disappeared and he glared at the little Casanova, and his father, who felt like someone had just walked over his grave.

“My sister is a little young for a serious boyfriend,” Dick hissed. “Don’t you think? Don’t want her to grow up too fast, right?” The two could only nod in fear. “Good. Don’t hurt her. Don’t make her cry. Because I’d hate to have to have another talk with you, Chiến. It might not go as… nicely.” And with that, he left to go find his sister, leaving two terrified people in in wake.

           That conversation would be the reason Kim broke up with Marinette over recess but to the girl’s dismay and why the boy wouldn’t allowed to date for another ten years.

           Looking back Kim would swear darkness and shadows started to fill the schoolyard. That Marinette’s older brother’s voice got deeper and his eyes turned completely black. He had been a living nightmare, one that would haunt his dreams for years.

Marinette wouldn’t get another boyfriend for years.

 Chat Noir aka Adrien Agreste; The Boy who just didn’t want to Get Neutered

           Marinette never considered Adrien or Chat Noir her boyfriend. He had been her best friend, her partner, and for a long time, her crush. However, before Marinette found out who was behind the mask, and he earned the title of her best friend in the whole world.

Chat Noir had the title of Guy who can’t take a hint.

           They had been just thirteen at the time. Chat had been spending for more and more time flirting with Ladybug and joking around then actually taking the fight seriously. And when he wouldn’t get the response he wanted from his Lady, he’d pout or throw a tantrum and storm off. It had been getting to be a real hassle. And as much as she liked Chat, she had been seriously considering Master Fu’s offer of getting her a permanent partner to replace him.

           Then one day if all change. All the silly behavior, most of it anyway, and the constant flirting all stopped and never started back up. It would take Marinette months to find out why.

           Unbeknownst to Marinette, her Papa, Bruce had been keeping a watchful eye on the deteriorating situation. The flirting, his daughter’s frustration, the lack of care. It had to be stopped. Chat Noir had a few lessons to learn.

           Bruce glared harshly at the image of the cat-themed Superhero. He was proving to be a useless partner for Ladybug. And a prime example for a sexual harassment claim. “You’re sure you can handle this,” He asked son.

           Damian scoffed, “I will teach that alley cat the true meaning of fear.”

“Go.”

           When his son was gone and Bruce was once again alone in the Batcave, he smirked darkly at Chat Noir and all other boys who would come and go. “When you were still playing war in the school yard, I was perfecting headshots. You can’t catch up at this point.”

           One night, after a particularly hazardous fight with an Akuma, Chat Noir had been running home when suddenly everything went dark.

           He woke up, tied upside down, and gagged. For a few moments he thought Hawkmoth had finally gotten, wondered if this was the end.

           When a sword pressed against his throat, and a chilling voice whispered in his ear, “Care to find out just how many lives you really have, fleabag?”

           At the moment, Chat Noir no longer wondered if it was the end. He knew it was.

           A boy, Robin, he realized glared fiercely at him.

“I should kill you,” Robin sneered. “I should rip you limb from limb and leave your head mounted on a spike to show the next fool who thought he was worthy of my sister’s hand. Ladybug is too good for the likes of scum like you.”

           Chat Noir gulped. Sister? Ladybug was Robin’s sister. Adrien’s eyes widened, that meant Ladybug was Batman daughter. He was going to die. He was just going to disappear and his father, or most likely Nathalie, wouldn’t even notice until he failed to show up for his next appointment.

Gorilla would notice though, Adrien thought, he’d miss me.

           Robin pressed the tip of the sword to Adrien’s face until blood was drawn. “You will cease your incessant flirting with my sister. You will train harder for your battles. And you never, ever, leave Ladybug to fight alone again. Am I clear?”

           Adrien nodded his head earnestly. He’d never flirt with anyone again, he swore. He wouldn’t even celebrate Valentine’s Day. Or anything.

“And if for some miracle,” Robin hissed, “My sister deems you suitable to date, you will treat her will respect. You will never touch her without permission. And if you hurt her, Consider my genes a mark of Cain; you will suffer seven times whatever you do to her.”

           Chat Noir whimpered.

           A smoke bomb later. Chat Noir’s bonds were released and Robin was gone.

           It took a long time for him to stop shaking.

           He never flirted with Ladybug again. He worked harder and became the partner she deserved.

           And when Adrien discovered Marinette was behind Ladybug’s mask, he only managed to stumble a little.

           However, when Marinette told him that her brothers was coming for a visit; she couldn’t understand why he paled and stuttered out excuses for photoshoot he never mentioned before in far, far away countries. That same day, Adrien had his father taken them to Australia for vacation under the threat of Adrien dying his hair pink. He wouldn’t return for a month.

Jon Kent: The Boy who, in retrospect, really should’ve known better.

           Marinette’s first real boyfriend was the son of her father’s best friend, Clark Kent, otherwise known as Superman.  She had been only fourteen and it had been a summer romance while she stayed in Gotham. She had thought Jon was perfect; handsome, kind, funny…

           Invulnerable to most weapons and had amazing healing factor.

           Plus it’s not like her papa would kill the son of his best friend, right?

           Right.

           It had all been going great… until it wasn’t.

“I welcome you in my home,” Bruce hissed at the picture of Jon Kent on the bat computer. “I trained you. I trusted you. And you betrayed me.”

“Let me speak with him, father,” Damian demanded. “He is my friend. He will listen to me.”

           Bruce shook his head, “That’s why I can’t send you. You’re too close to the situation. He snuck past all our defense. Now I have no choice but to do same. J?”

           The Asian girl smirked, “Little Superboy will know dread.”

           Jon had been visiting the fortress of Solitude when… it happened.

           Before that day he had never dreamed the place would be anything less than safe, anything other than secure.

           His dad had just flown off to help someone in Brazil. Jon waited patiently for him to come back while he dreamed of his beautiful new girlfriend. Marinette was amazing, perfect, and the nicest, sweetest girl ever.

           When suddenly he felt a tickle in his throat, and he tried his best to clear it but it just got worse and worse. Until Jonathan Samuel Kent, Superboy (now that Connor was going as Krypton), fell to his knees as he struggled to breath.

           No matter what he did, the more breaths he took, the worse he felt. It was like his lungs were on fire.

“Do not struggle,” A voice said. Jon looked up see Blackbat, Cassandra, standing above him. How did she get into the fortress? Not only could only a Kryptonian open the doors but only a member of El could be let in. It was impossible. “Struggling makes it worse.”

           Jon coughed, “What?”

“The air,” Cassandra waved her hand around. “It is filled with dust. Green dust of Kryptonite. It has disable you and your powers. It’s concentrated. You will not die. The alerts of the fortress were disabled. No one is coming to help you, villain.”

           Jon shook his head frantically. He wasn’t a villain. He wasn’t a bad guy. This had to be some mistake.

“No, not villain,” Cassandra corrected. “Not yet. A thief who thought he could earn my family’s trust and then steal away our most precious jewel; our princess. And do it without consequences. I am here to teach you better.”

           Superboy flinched at her words.

“You will not pressure my sister,” Cassandra hissed. “You will be the gentleman we believed you to be. If you cheat on her, I will ensure you never have children. If you strike her, I will know. She will not keep your secret. You can’t make fire feel afraid. And I will come for you. Do you understand?”

Jon nodded, fear in clear in his eyes.

“Good.” She leaned forward, right into the young superhero’s face. “Some say you and your father, your cousin Kara, and Connor, are invincible. That you can’t be stopped. That you are gods among us.” She scoffed. “Let me make this, if you break my sisters’ heart, you will learn, boy of steel, that even gods bleed.”

           And then she was gone, and with her all traces of kryptonite. It didn’t stop the chill that filled Jon to the core.

           It was to no one’s surprise when Superman showed up at the Batcave not long after. “Bruce,” Clark asked with his arms out. “What the fuck?”

           Marinette’s relationship soured when suddenly Jon was too scared to hold her hand, her be alone with her, or kiss her. She got the hint that he just wanted to be friends and broke it.

           She found out a year later what really happened.

Luka Couffaine: The Boy who decided he didn’t want to sing his tune yet.

           Luka had been Marinette’s first serious boyfriend. She was sixteen. They had been together for months and were getting to the ‘I love you’ stage.

           He was cool. He was funny. He was a budding Rock star. He had dyed green hair, tattoos and earrings. Luka went onto tour with his band every summer. He was older than Marinette by two years. He had quite a few previous girlfriends. And he hadn’t been scared off by the normal attempts by his other kids.

           In other words, he was Bruce Wayne’s worst nightmare.

           And the nightmare got worse, when for the first time ever, Marinette was bringing a boyfriend home for Christmas. It was all the confirmation he needed that the things were serious.

           It was why he knew he had to send the greatest soldier he had. Luka Couffaine would rue the day he decided it was good idea to ask his princess out. “Are you ready?”

           Tim nodded. “I’ve done my research,” he declared. “I know what makes him to tick. I. Will. Break. Him.”

“Excellent,” He drawled out the word like it he tasting fine wine. Not caring at all that he sounded like a superman.

“You really think he’s a threat, dad?” Tim asked. “Because I can take care of it. I can have him eliminated. Ra's al ghul owes me a favor. It’ll look like an accident,” He promised. “It’ll look like he just… disappeared.”

A sense of pride filled Bruce. Tim was his most capable and resourceful soldier. He would make a great batman. Any of his kids would.

Batman stared the picture of the boy on his phone as he fought the urge to crush it in his hands. “No,” he finally answered. “I’ve known plenty of rock stars and so called bad boys in my day.  Angel’s smart,” he said using Marinette’s codename. “I have been routing out indifference apathy from her life, her childhood was filled with love and affection. There are no daddy issue for his teenage talons to latch upon. Just… make sure he understands who he is dealing with.”

“Understood.” And then call ended.

           He looked up and saw all the other Justice League members staring at him with expressions of awe, fear, and confusion.

“…Marinette’s got a new boyfriend, huh?” Diana asked when the call disconnected. Amusement in her tone, she knew Bruce would never seriously hurt a kid.

“Poor guy,” Barry said with a shake of his head.

           Clark pinched his nose, “You can’t keep scaring guys away from her forever. Eventually, she’s going to find one who isn’t afraid of you.”

“And then she’ll marry him out of spite,” Dinah added.

           There were snorts from the other league members.

“Like that’ll ever happen,” Oliver said with a shake of his head. “That kid would have to be the biggest moron in the universe. I’ll pity his family.”

           Marinette had constantly warned Luka about how overprotective her family was. Luka hadn’t thought much of it. He dealt with overprotective fathers and brothers before. Eventually they grudging begin to like him. Or realize that if they actively hated him, it would just make the girl get attached.

           He was excited for Christmas, excited to prove himself to the girl of his dreams, and impress her by dealing with her entire family. Luka didn’t understand why Adrien looked so afraid when he told him. Or why he asked what type of flowers he liked.

“For the funeral,” Adrien shrugged. “I need to know what to buy.”

           Luka had laughed, thinking the blond was joking. He had already met a two of her brothers; Dick and Damian. They had been growls and threats but nothing he couldn’t handle. But Adrien didn’t laugh. He just shook his head and promised he’d be there for Juleka. Luka thought he was overreacting.

           However, nothing. NOTHING. Could have prepared Luka for the first time he met Tim.

           Luka had been walking home with Kagami, his long-time friend and one-time rival for Marinette’s affection. It was board daylight, there were tons of people around, and then they had made the apparent mistake of walking by an alley, when suddenly they were pulled into the back of a van, hoods thrown over their heads, and their hands bounds.

           He didn’t know how much time had passed. Or where they were being taken. All he saw was darkness. All he felt was fear. Was this how died?

           When the hoods were finally removed, the two teenagers found themselves in what looked to be a deserted warehouse, bound to their chairs, with a teenage boy not much older than they sitting across from them, looking absurdly comfortable given the situation.

My name is Timothy Drake-Wayne. I am Marinette’s older brother,” He said. “Let me make something clear before we begin. The last hour never happened. This conversation never happened. We never met. And if you say otherwise,” Tim’s eyes narrowed.  “No one will believe you. I was just by dozens of witnesses in Mexico with my boyfriend less than two hours ago. But if you do tell anyone, there will be consequences. Do you understand?”

           They nodded not daring to say a word.

“Luka, Luka, Luka.” Tim smiled an eerie grin that should look more at home on the monsters from Horror movies, and not on such a handsome face. “I hear you’ll be visiting us over the holidays. Must be so exciting for you, meeting your girlfriend’s family. Are you excited, Luka?”

           Luka swallowed hard. He never thought he’d hate the way his own name sounded. “I was- I mean I am. I am.”

“Good,” Tim said. “I just wanted to offer you a bit of advice. So you can know to expect. You see it call all be a bit… daunting to newcomers. Some people don’t understand the Wayne family’s unique tastes. Okay?”

           He nodded.

           Tim still smiled. In fact he never lost his smile the entire time. Yet his eyes were empty like there was no real life in them. “When you first come to my home, you will see the bone carving over the doorway. It will be hard, but try not to imagine your own femurs so expertly carved.”

           At this Kagami’s eyes widened. She had done her best to remain calm but somethings were too much.

           Tim smile widened, “There are one or two rooms you will not be allowed in. However, accidents happen and we understand. But we do ask that you pay no attention to our… ample crawl space. Or the smells that can sometime come from it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Luka stuttered. “Sure, no problem. Man.”

“Try not to go into Father’s playroom,” Tim continued on. “It will be easy to spot. It’s mostly empty, apart from a rubber mat and a drain. He gets so testy when stranger go in there. You’ll hear strange noise from time to time but just ignore them. That is just father… playing.”

           The green-haired boy just stared. Because what the fuck.

“Just follow that advice, and you should be fine,” Tim promised. “Though you are a pretty one.  You both are. And we like pretty ones. Oh the things we do to pretty ones”

Luka whimpered. Kagami felt tears build in her eyes.

           Tim laughed, “Now, now, none of that,” He said channeling his inner Brucie. “We’re not going to hurt. We’d never hurt Marinette’s friends.” He promised. “We would hurt people who hurt Marinette because people who hurt Marinette are not her friends.”

           Red Robin looked over the two, “What I’m trying to say is. Break my sister’s heart, and we will kill you. I will kill you. You won’t see if coming. You won’t know we’re there. And if you’re lucky, you might not even feel it. Clear?” They nodded. “Excellent. Now you’re going to leave the same way you came. Remember not a word.” He smiled got even bigger.

           They felt hands on their shoulders.

“Oh and Kagami,” Tim’s voice rang. “Should romantic feelings spring to life between you and Marinette again, just know our sister Cassandra is much scarier than I. And a much better shot.”

           Then the black hoods and complete darkness came gain.

           When they were finally let go, in the exact same place they had been taken, neither Luka nor Kagami spoke for what seemed like forever. Their minds still wrapping around what had just taken place. However, it was Kagami who finally broke the quiet.

“Well, it appears I dodge a bullet, huh,” She shrugged, her face not betraying the fear she still felt. “Sucks for you. I’m going to go propose to Chloe. I know can I take her mom in a fight. And that she’s not a serial killer.” Kagami then gave him a grave look. “Happy holiday, Luka. I’ll send best flowers to your funeral.” And the she was gone, literally fleeing down the crowded street, leaving Luka alone with his thoughts and sense of his impending doom.

           He broke up with Marinette an hour later.

           It would take weeks before he would willingly be in a room with her again.

Kaldur'ahm: The Boy who regretted ever walking on land.

           Marinette had met her next boyfriend through her brother Tim. Ironic, considering she had just found out what he did to Luka. She had gone in for some extra training with the Black Canary when she spotted him. Kaldur; aqualad. Marinette had never talked too much with him before but found he was a very calm person and level-headed. A good leader, no matter how much Tim complained.

           They had spared together one day. And another. And Another. Then he asked her out. It was sweet… While it lasted. And it didn’t last long.

           Batman had looked at Kaldur’s picture, scoffed, and said, “Jason?”

           The sound of a gun clocking was heard, “Little Mermaids going down.”

           Unlike his brothers, Redhood had no time for mind games. He went for the quickest route.

           Aquaman burst into room where the justice league meeting was, “He shot Kaldur,” He roared to Batman. “The Red Hood shot Aqualad!”

           Bruce didn’t bat an eye, “Is he alive?”

“Yes,” The King of the seas said quickly. “But that’s not point.”

“Seems like it is,” Bruce said and went on with the meeting leaving a stuttering, red-faced Aquaman still standing there.

It was to one’s surprise when Kaldur dumped Marinette and was gone. Disappeared to the safety of Atlantis. And when he came back, Marinette was barred from Young Justice Headquarters.

It was on that day, that Marinette Dupain-Cheng-Wayne decided enough was enough.

 Roy Harper-Queen: The Boy who should start making better life choices

           It was weird to say but Marinette met the boy who would turn out to be the love of her life when she was ten-years-old. And then sometime after her eighteenth birthday, she would team up with his clone to go rescue him. They became friends, went on missions together. It was a year later that he asked her out.

           Roy was pissed at the world, ready to die for anything if it meant he’d went fight, had a rude mouth, feared nothing and no one, and didn’t play by anyone’s rule but his own. In other words, he was perfect.

           Marinette just never meant to fall in love. She certainly didn’t expect to say yes when proposed.

           They had been keeping their relationship a secret from both their families for over two years. They were happy together. They loved each other.

           But more importantly, they could plot revenge together.

           And revenge was sweet.

           It all played out during a Justice League meeting. Roy, Red Arrow, and Ladybug had been full members for quite some time. The meeting was just about to close, when Roy stood up, “I have an announcement to make,” He said. “Red Arrow will be withdrawing from missions for the perceivable future. As will Ladybug,” He looked at Marinette who nodded firmly.

“What’s going on, Roy?” Oliver asked his once wayward son, with a frown.

           Batman eyed them suspiciously. As did the other members of the batfamily, all were present. Apart from Alfred because Marinette liked Alfred.

           Wonder Woman frowned, “Are you going solo again, I thought you were happy.”

“We’re fine. We’re very happy,” Roy said slowly before taking a deep breath and doing the bravest thing he ever would in his entire life. “Ladybug’s pregnant and I’m the father.”

           A few seconds passed before the words were processed in the Superheroes mind.

           Bruce’s eyes widened, his mind stopped working, and then a snarl ripped form his throat as he moved to attack. The batkids joining him.

“Alpha Code Angelbug” Flash shouted.

           That was all the other league need to go into defensive positions around Roy, against the batfamily. Marinette remained where she was with glee in her eyes. Superman stood in front of Roy, blocking him from view and potential danger.

           The Flash, Cyborg, Black Canary, Wonder Woman, and the Green Arrow stood in front of them. Oliver aimed at arrow at Batman, “Don’t move!” He yelled. “Don’t you dare move, Bruce. I’ll do it. Roy’s my son. And I won’t let you hurt him.”

           Batman growled, “He. I. My daughter!”

“Get Roy out of here, Superman,” Wonder Woman ordered. “We’ll hold him off but we can’t do it for long.” She stepped towards Bruce. “Marinette’s a grown woman. She makes her own choices.”

           Dick shook his head, anger clear on his face, “Dude, you were my friend.”

           Damian snarled, “Harper’s a sneak and a coward.”

“No honor,” Cassandra agreed.

           Jason just looked at his best friend, “I love you…. But you’re dead.”

           Tim just growled.

“No one’s dead or dying,” Marinette said as got up. “Because I’m not pregnant,” She said loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. She walked to her boyfriend and pulled him out from behind his shield. “But Roy and I have been dating for almost three years. And we’re getting married. You can be happy for us. Or I can never talk to you again.”

           Roy grinned, “Pops,” he said to Oliver, whose face was torn between relief and fury at it was prank. “We thought you and Bruce could be the main wedding planners. With the rest of the Queens and Waynes helping out; you know now that we’re going to be family. ”

           With that the two lovebird left the room, leaving the chaos they had created.

           Silence filled the room as Batman and Green Arrow stared at the other.

           Oliver gulped. He let out a breathy chuckle, “So I think a wedding in Star City would be great. Lots of Lilies. The Queen family loves lilies.”

           Batman’s eyes narrowed, “Gotham, roses.”

           Black Canary crossed her arms, “Star City would be safer.”

“Gotham is far more beautiful,” Tim snapped back.

           And just like that, battle lines were drawn. Justice League members’ face turned weary.

           Whether they knew it or not, that was Marinette and Roy’s last act of revenge.

           Forget Batman vs Superman.

           Try Bruce Wayne versus Oliver Queen: billionaire against billionaire, father against father. Elsewhere, thousands of journalist, photographers, florists, and caterers trembled and they didn’t know why.

[elareine]

Deaged Jaybird anyone?

Well, judging from ao3 and tumblr, I think the answer to that question is ‘everyone and amazingly so,’ but I might as well throw my hat into the ring, thank you <3

I thought this was gonna be sweet and funny. It didn’t exactly turn out that way.

rewind, fast forward, stop Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply - Childhood Trauma, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Temporary Character Death, Angst Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Duke Thomas, Cassandra Cain, Alfred Pennyworth Additional Tags: Age Regression/De-Aging, De-Aged Jason Todd, Family Issues, Family Feels, Loss of Trust, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt with Temporary Comfort, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, The Batfamily Needs Therapy, Bittersweet, Unreliable Narrator

“If he says the words unstable molecules one more time, I’m going to hit something,” Dick muttered.

“Jason’s been gone for two hours, and you’re already trying to replace him?” Tim asked. It was a weak joke, and Dick didn’t laugh.

Nygma and Crane were still arguing at metaphorical gunpoint (i.e., genuine sword end), bent over the makeshift crib.

“I didn’t expect this to happen, either! What’s the point of posing riddles if he’s a baby?”

“Well you still fucked up and now we’re here, basically hostages—”

Bruce held up a hand. Everyone fell silent.

“So. His age will change several times?”

“Yes.”

“You cannot predict the intervals.”

“No.”

“What does he remember?”

“I don’t know. We should ask him…”

“…when he reaches an age where he can speak, yes. Will this stop once he reaches the age he’s supposed to be?”

“I don’t—”

“Then we will find out. Nygma, you have 24 hours to fix this.” He turned and looked at Dick. “Call reinforcements and start the lab work.”

Dick nodded, but whatever he was going to ask wasn’t going to be heard because Jason chose that moment to start wailing.

Everyone froze. Despite all the arguing, the fact that they know had to care for a baby hadn’t seemed real until that moment.

Bruce, though, just lifted Jason up and to his chest with the same natural competence with which he handled explosives and batarangs. “There, there, Jaylad. You’re hungry, hmm? I bet Alfred has already prepared a bottle. Let’s go find him, shall we?”

——

Dick volunteered to stay home and watch the baby that evening. Except when he returned to the crib with a freshly prepared bottle, it was a toddler staring back at him.

“Hey there, little man,” Dick greeted him.

Silence.

Dick tried again. “Jason, are you in there?”

The kid stared back at him, clearly wondering what the strange man was talking about. His eyes were so blue. “Me.”

“Yes, you’re Jason,” Dick agreed. “Do you remember me?”

Jason’s brow furrowed as if he was concentrating really hard. “No?”

“That’s okay. I’m Dick. I’m—” your brother. But how did you explain that to a toddler who didn’t remember any siblings? “A friend.”

After a minute of stern evaluation, Jason’s expression melted into a smile, and he held up his short chubby arms. “Up?”

“Of course.” Dick bent down and scooped Jason up with one swift motion, bouncing him up and down for a few seconds, to Jason’s great delight and giggles. Then he settled him onto his hip. “How about some food, buddy?”

“Hungry!” Jason declared. It sounded like ‘angry.’ Dick wanted to record that and use it as Jason’s ringtone forever.

He couldn’t very well give him the baby formula now, so: “Let’s go to the kitchen, then, huh? I like midnight snacks, too.”

“Snack,” Jason repeated. He seemed to like that word. “Snack, snack, snack!”

“Yes, snack. Hey B,” he called softly through the non-emergency line as they walked through the corridor, “listen to who woke up.”

“Baba?” Jason asked. Dick had no idea whether he meant Bruce or was asking for his own father. Either way, it was devastating.

“Jaylad,” Bruce murmured back. Dick didn’t call him out on the use of real names. “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“No.”

Dick tried not to laugh at the sleepy pout. “To be fair, I don’t know how ‘slept like a baby for hours,’ literally, affects his sleep schedule.”

“How old is he?”

“About… two? Maybe?” Dick was not an expert in estimating the age of children, so sue him. “Maybe younger. He’s real small, and he doesn’t remember me.”

Silence. “N, we’re coming home.”

The bats had barely been out for an hour. “Sure. See you soon.”

——

It was Tim who discovered the next transformation. He’d taken over the early morning shift by virtue of not sleeping anyway. Jason’s room had been quiet; Tim had just wanted to make sure he was doing okay when he was greeted with a much larger shape in the bed than he’d expected.

Which, fuck, that couldn’t be good, right? Last time Jason had only skipped a couple of years, but now he was at least six.

The figure was also too still to be asleep. Tim switched on the nightlight they’d installed by the door and looked at Jason. Yeah, his eyes were definitely open. It was eerie, the way he held himself still as if he was trying to disappear into the darkness. Don’t notice me, his position screamed. I’m not here, go away.

It was so familiar. Tim couldn’t breathe for a second for the way it was a perfect reversal of the way he himself had spent his childhood. Notice me, look at me, don’t leave.

“Hey,” Tim called out softly, unconsciously imitating Dick’s voice. “Can’t sleep?”

“Who are you.” His voice was clear and hard, a far cry from the sweet toddler who had played with Tim’s cape when they’d come home from patrol at midnight.

That had been four hours ago. It was going to be a long day, wasn’t it?

“I’m Tim,” he said. “You don’t remember me right now because you’re… sick, but we know each other.”

The distrust did not wane. “Where am I?”

“At my father’s house. Wayne Manor.” Tim smiled. “Maybe you’ve heard of it?”

“Who else is here?”

“Your family.”

That did not have the expected effect, at all. Jason shrank back, hands gripping the blanket tight even as his expression remained blank.

Tim’s hand moved to his bracelet and pressed a button. He’d promised Bruce to wake him up if there was a development. Besides, he was in over his head here, and he knew it.

“I’m going to call them, okay?” There was no answer.

It took less than two minutes for the doorway to be filled with people. Bruce was first, of course, closely followed by Dick, with Damian, Duke, and Cass lingering just behind them in the hallway.

“You’re going to crowd him,” Tim pointed out. “We’re all strangers.”

“Tim is right.” Bruce stepped forward. “Stay back.”

They watched as he crouched down in front of the bed. “Hi, Jason. You don’t remember me, and I know that’s scary.”

“I’m not scared.”

Tim couldn’t see his face, but he would bet good money that Bruce smiled at that. “No, you aren’t because you’re brave, aren’t you.”

“Hmm. Where’s mom?” Jason asked.

“She’s not here. I’m sorry. You’re staying with our family and me for now.”

“Where’s dad?”

“He’s not here, either, but—”

Jason’s shoulders deflated.

Oh. Oh.

Tim could feel the tension rack up in the room as every single family member was simultaneously filled with rage.

Bruce, however, looked calm. “As long as we are here,” he said, quietly but with the kind of conviction that could move mountains, “no one is going to hurt you. Your mother is fine, and so are you.”

And Jason looked up and believed him. Tim could see it in the way he relaxed, how he slumped down against Bruce’s bulk as if it was the only thing holding him up. He didn’t say anything.

Tim felt a gentle tug on his elbow. He followed the others outside, quietly, leaving Bruce to keep vigil. It was touching, but something about the scene bothered Tim.

“Do you think,” he quietly asked Dick as the group dispersed, “that we should call someone else? His friends? You have Roy’s number.”

“It will help, being here, when he reaches Robin age. They’re strangers until he’s an adult.”

That wasn’t the point. Tim frowned. “I know you think he should be with family when he’s like this. But Dick—we haven’t been his family for a long time. We shouldn’t see this stuff.”

Dick swallowed, but he didn’t argue with that. “B already knows.”

“Not all of it. Not what will happen when—”

“Yeah.” Dick’s shoulders slumped. “But do you think you can convince B of that?”

“No.” Tim sighed. “No, I don’t.”

——

“Master Jason, what are you doing in the kitchen?”

It was eight a.m., and even Master Tim was asleep by now. Alfred had kept an ear out for the sound of a preschooler waking up, but Master Jason must’ve aged again. He looked to be about nine now.

The kid frowned. “I don’t know who you are, but I need to make breakfast, or mom won’t eat.”

Alfred took a moment to fix his apron, blinking discreetly. “Of course, Master Jason. Your mother, however, isn’t here at the moment. Would you like to help me prepare some pancakes?”

——

There was a sound like something heavy falling, then a curse. “Where the fuck am I?”

Dick and Tim exchanged a glance. They’d installed Jason in front of the tv, at first, but he’d been more interested in the few children’s books Bruce kept around for guests.

Tim had tagged along—at this point, he had somehow wound up one of Jason’s primary caretakers, and wasn’t that a sentence he hadn’t expected himself to ever think? Looked like the time for children’s books had run out.

When they walked over to the armchair Jason had buried himself in, they found a pile of limbs in front of it, scrambling to get up and look at them. The family had taken to dressing Jason in the largest clothes they could get him in without them falling off, just to spare his modesty at the next change. Not that Jason had really grown much over the last few episodes…

At least he was dressed as he woke up in an unfamiliar living room because he couldn’t remember the previous episode or his adult life, Tim thought. Honestly, this curse/science mishap/whatever seemed hellbent on making their lives as miserable as possible.

Dick advanced cautiously. “Jason—”

“And you would be?” the boy asked, his voice suddenly much lighter.

“My name’s Dick Grayson, and you’re safe here.”

“Hmm, am I?” There was something wrong with the way Jason looked at Dick. His weight was shifted to the side, pushing his hip to the front, his long lashes almost fluttering, and there was something challenging in his gaze as if he was daring Dick—as if he was—

The idea was so incongruous—so impossible—that it took Tim too long to connect the dots. It was the exact pose he saw the working girls and boys adopt, night after night when they approached a car.

The thing with Tim was: He could be thrown off a building, and his brain would still keep on working all the way down. (No, seriously, that happened several times.) It was just how it was. So he could be shocked at what was happening, at what he’d just learned about Jason, and still notice that Dick wasn’t.

Perhaps he was making a mountain of a molehill, then. Perhaps Jason had just seen too much on the streets and was trying to play along, to give Dick what Jason thought he wanted, and then he’d punch him when he got too close and get out of here.

Perhaps.

“Let’s just—wait it out, okay?” Dick sighed. “You got temporary amnesia. It’ll all be clear tomorrow.”

“Sure.” Jason looked like he didn’t believe him, but was willing to run with it. “You got some food?”

——

“Oh, hey Dick! You look different!”

Dick thought he was about to cry with relief. Finally, a Jason that knew them, that wouldn’t have to be reassured about their intentions every few hours. “Hey, Jason.”

“Is it for a case?”

“Something like that,” he said. “You’re in the future, sort of. We have to wait a few hours before you can go back.”

Jason’s eyes went wide. “Really? That’s so cool! Can I talk to myself? Where am I? What year is it? What am I doing?”

“We can’t tell you that,” Tim said suddenly. “You know. Time travel code. Gotta follow the rules.”

“Ah.” Jason nodded as if that made any sense. “But you can tell me about other things, right? What about the cave? Can I see how it changed?”

“No, not the cave—” not while that damn memorial was still there, “—but Alfred has a collection of photos in one room if you want to see.”

That would be fine. Jason wasn’t in any of those, anyway.

“Whoa,” Jason commented when he saw how many pictures there were. “This family sure has grown. Wait, who is that?”

“That’s me,” Tim said.

Jason frowned. “That’s a Robin outfit. Are you Robin after me?”

And Dick—he could see how Tim tensed up. Understandably so, they had all heard what Jason called him. “Yeah, I—I didn’t mean to repl—you were—”

“It’s okay,” Jason shrugged. “Robin is more than one person, right? Dickie here said that. You don’t stop being Robin. You just share it.”

Tim blinked once. Then again.

Dick watched in some concern, because—surely that’s what he said to him back when he gave Robin to Damian, too? Right? It was all such a blur, but he must have.

Jason was already moving on to the next picture. “Wow, are these your wings?!”

“Yeah.”

“Did you make them? That’s so cool, I wanna fly too!”

Dick watched in amusement as a blush spread across Tim’s face. “I could show you the plans?”

“That would be fun! It could be a project.” Then he whirled around. “Do you go to school?”

“Uh, not really.”

Jason frowned. “You should. Grades are important. You can’t go superheroing forever if you don’t have money.”

“That’s true.” Tim looked suitably chastised. Dick bit down on a laugh as he watched Jason walk along Alfred’s little gallery, commenting on everything he saw and pulling Tim along.

God, thinking about the kid they saw yesterday, this Jason was a miracle. Dick knew what it meant to pull yourself up after darkness crashed down on you, how to find a way to smile after you lost everything.

And he knew, too, what a single person who cared for you—who believed in you could do.

(Maybe Dick should’ve remembered that when Jason became a miracle for the second time.)

Bruce had been that for both of them. Even now, Dick could see him at the doorway, watching Jason with such pride and unbearable longing on his face. Then a shadow fell over his expression, and he turned away.

“Dick!” Jason called over. “Tim has never heard the train story! C’mon, you’re the best at telling it.”

“He hasn’t heard it because it’s embarrassing,” Dick whined, but he walked over and joined them. Might as well make the most of this, right?”

——

“I’m sorry, Bruce,” Zatanna said. “There’s nothing I can do.”

She was magic, Cass knew, and Bruce didn’t like magic. So if he was asking her for help… Duke, next to her, looked worried, as well.

They weren’t letting the two of them see Jason, and that was okay. Neither of them had ever been close to Jason. Not that Dick or Tim had been, exactly, but they cared in a way Cass and Duke admittedly didn’t.

“Is there anything that could slow down his aging process, at least?”

“Nothing but putting him into stasis, and he would not thank you for that, Bruce.”

Duke dared to ask: “But Nygma said the effect of the gas should stop once he’s reached his proper age, right? So that should be… alright?”

“And what,” Bruce ground out, “if the next time he phases forward, he’s dead?”

“Bruce.” Zatanna put a hand on his shoulder, empathy in every line of her body.

Bruce shook her off as if he couldn’t bear the touch. “We don’t know if he’ll wake up this time.”

For a second, Cass wanted to hurt everyone who made Bruce sound like that. But she knew there was nothing she could do. Love, she knew, cut like that sometimes.

——

Damian was well aware that they would prefer to keep him far away from Todd. To a certain extent, he understood. He would not wish more people than necessary to watch him relive his own childhood, either.

However, no one in this family was prepared for what was coming next. Damian knew.

The minute the screaming began, Damian walked into the room.

Jason was convulsing on the bed. Dick was frantically checking him for injuries, and Damian clicked his tongue. “That won’t help. He is not bleeding.”

Bruce turned to him. “Damian, what—”

“He’s in pain. His body is half-alive, half-dead,” Damian told them calmly. His voice wasn’t shaking. It wasn’t. “It won’t stop until he swims in a Lazarus Pit.”

His father should not look like this. Helpless. Pitiful. Damian resented him for it, just a little bit. Father had not been there the first time. This would only last for hours, and all he had to do was wait. The crushing weight of how to fix this was not on him as it had been on Mother.

“I’m going to get a tranquilizer,” Dick murmured.

——

Duke wondered what they would do if Jason woke up in full rage mode. He had seen the files, had read everything he could the minute this started happening. Cass had told him the rest, pieced together from hints her brothers had dropped over the years. There was no way they could deal with that if they were unprepared and Jason was in their home. No way.

So he was… nervous. Just a bit. Enough so that he was camping out in front of the bedroom that they were keeping Jason for now. Sure, Jason had been medicated, but Duke had seen Bruce trying that on Red Hood before. Red Hood had barely slowed down. Whatever the Lazarus Pits were, exactly, they sure did a number on a person’s metabolism.

Duke got his answer when Bruce sent everyone out of the room. Batman would wait alone, then. Dick and Tim obeyed, albeit reluctantly.

Tim, however, returned a minute later with Bruce’s utility belt, shock full of batarangs and other weapons. The older man, however, hesitated to take it.

“Bruce,” Tim said, and he very gently touched a scar on his neck.

Bruce took the belt.

——

The next morning, Jason left.

Minutes before, Bruce watched him as he woke up.

He had known as soon as he had seen Jason as a toddler that his son would not forgive him for this. The others, maybe. They had only tried to help. Bruce was the one too selfish to let Jason keep his secrets, bring him to people he trusted.

Because that sure as hell wasn’t him anymore. Deservedly so or not, Bruce had had to face that reality a long time ago.

Still, when Jason opened his eyes and there was only a tinge of green in them, nothing like the rage of the pit, just like they had been the last time Bruce had seen him without the mask—for that one moment, Bruce allowed himself to hope.

Maybe, just maybe, Jason wouldn’t remember. Then he could use the whole thing as a learning experience—see it as bonding, even—something that would allow them to finally move on; that would help Bruce to find the right trigger to get Jason to give up his mad crusade and come home.

Then Jason blinked, and his eyes were empty even of hate.

“My phone?” was all he asked.

“In the cave.” Bruce kept his voice even because what else could he do?

Jason nodded. Then he left, and he did not come back.

[secondgenerationnerd]

Family

Hello All! Fic I had written ages ago! Finally went through and edited it. Enjoy and feel free to send requests with the other superstar babies!

-------------------

“Charlotte Elisabeth Kent!” Mar’i laughs, “Hold still!”

“I’m sorry, Momma! I’m just so excited!” the 8-year-old wiggles as her mother marks her hem. With the annual Father-Daughter dance around the corner, Charlie can barely keep still. Her mother just laughs again, shaking her head.

“Ok, starling, go ahead and change, I've got what I need.” Charlies wiggles out of her dress, pulling on her jeans and t-shirt. She peaks back at her mother, who holds the dress up again to make sure the hem's straight. Hugging her around her waist, Charlie buries her face in Mar’i’s tummy.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, starling.” Mar’i kisses Charlie’s head as the doorbell rings. “How about you answer the door? I’ll be there in a second.”

“Ok!” Charlie skips to the front door. Opening it up, she chirps, “Hello!”

“Oh, shit. It’s you.” A woman with long, dirty blonde hair and sagging skin stands in the doorway.

Charlie tilts her head," Are you a friend of Momma's?"

“Charlie? Who’s here, honey?” Mar’i comes down the hall towards them.

“I’m her mother.” The woman reaches for Charlie. Effortlessly, Mar’i moves in front of her daughter. “She’s—”

“Charlie, baby, why don’t you go get a snack?” Charlie looks up, puzzled. Mar’i runs a hand through Charlie’s short blonde hair, giving her a reassuring smile. As Charlie heads to the kitchen, Mar’i turns her gaze on the woman. “Come in.”

The woman enters the living room. Her eyes glance over the clutter of toys, books, pictures, and laundry around the room. She glances at the pictures on the wall—pictures of Charlie with her brother and sister, of old friends and family, of Jon and Mar’i. Her eyes settle on the last school photo of Charlie before she cut her hair.

“Why’d you let her get a boy cut?” the woman grunts. "And a boy name."

“Charlie's short for Charlotte. She picked it and her haircut. Can I get you—” “You’re not her mother.” The woman turns on Mar’i. Mar’i doesn’t even flinch. “I am. I gave birth to her.”

“Yes, you did, Catherine. And you gave her away.”

Catherine blinks, “How do you know my name?”

“My family hired a private detective. Catherine Jane Mcclory. Age 24. Parents in the upper middle class. In and out of Rehab since you were 15.” Mar’i doesn’t break eye contact. “You had Charlie when you were 16. You were notified of her adoption last year.”

“Yeah, well, now I want her back.”

“It’s not that simple.” Mar'i keeps her voice even, despite the tighteness growing in her chest.

“Yes, it is. She’s mine.”

“Biologically maybe--”

“She belongs to me.”

“No, she doesn’t.” Mar’i steps forward. “She doesn’t belong to you. First, she’s her own person. Second, any claim you had to her you gave up when you sold her. How were the drugs you bought after selling your baby? Was it a good high? Because while you were doing God knows what, Charlie was being tortured. They beat her and starved her and experimented on her. Thank X'hal, they didn't sexually abuse her.”

"I--"

Mar'i cuts her off with a glare, "After two years of freedom, do you think she's magically cured? No. Do you know about the nightmares she has? No, but I do because I'm the one that holds her after them. Do you know why she has scared on her back? No, but I do because I read every lab report of what they did to her—”

“I don’t need you to tell me—”

“Yes, you do!” Mar’i’s anger finally boils over. “You fucking sold her and you don’t even care what they did to her! They tortured and murdered dozens of metachildren! Infants!”

Catherine’s voice wavers, “I gave birth to her!”

“And I’ve loved her!" Mar'i roars. Charlie watches from the doorway, unseen and trembling, "I’ve been here for her! My husband and I have showed up for her, fought for her, and love her! Because she’s an amazing little girl!”

“I’m her mother--

“You don’t know her! You don’t know her favorite book is Charlotte’s Web adn she always cries at the end! You don’t know her favorite color’s teal! You don’t know her best friend is one of her cousins, or that they want to grow up to be vets! You don’t know how to get her to stop crying after a nightmare! You don’t know what to do when her PTSD triggers her powers! You don’t know how kind, smart, brave, funny, and resilient she is! I don't give a fuck if she didn't come out of me! She’s my daughter!”

“I’ll sue!”

“Go ahead! I’m ready to fight for her! Can you say the same?!” Mar’i straightens up, bringing herself to her full height. Charlie bursts into tears at Mar’i’s words. 

“Momma!” She runs to her mommy. Mar'i catches her, lifting her baby up and holding her close, heart breaking at her daughter’s sobs. "Momma, Momma!"

“It’s ok…Momma’s here. I’m right here, beautiful girl, my starling…” Mar’i coos, ignoring Catherine for a moment.

“Don’t make me leave, Momma! Don’t let her take me!” Charlie cries into Mar’i’s shoulder. "I don't want to go back! Don’t let her take me back!"

“She’s not taking you anywhere, baby. In fact.” Mar’i glares at the woman, “She was just leaving.”

“I’m not—"

“Get out of my house. If you want to speak to me or my child again, it will be through a lawyer.” Catherine clearly wants to argue, but Mar’i’s glare is enough to push her out the door. 

She hadn’t been raised in the Batfamily for nothing. 

After she leaves, Mar’i sits on the couch with Charlie. The little girl sobs into her mother's chest for what feels like hours. Mar’i doesn’t let go for a second. She rubs Charlie’s back and kisses her head, murmuring softly, “I’m here, baby. Momma’s right here. You get all that hurt out, ok? I’m not going anywhere.”

Mar’i texts Jon to let him know it’s a bad day. He responds quickly, his parents happy to watch M&M and Peter for the night. It takes a while for Charlie to calm down. She keeps her face hidden, shaking in Mar’i’s arms. 

“Momma?”

“Yes, baby?” Mar'i adjusts her, holding her just a little tighter.

“Why didn’t she want me?”

Mar’i strokes Charlie's hair, “She’s sick, baby. Sick in the head.”

The front door opens, making Charlie flinch and cling to Mar’i. Jon tosses his stuff to the side as he hurries into the living room. Charlie looks up, whimpering, “Daddy…”

“Oh, Charlie.” Jon takes his daughter into his arms, sitting next to his wife. Their daughter's brown eyes flicker between them, swollen and red. Jon kisses her forehead, “What are you feeling?”

“I’m sad…and angry…and scared…and confused.” Charlie rubs her face. Two years of them asking her that make it easier to identify the emotions, even if she doesn’t understand them.

“Ok. That’s ok.” Mar’i holds Charlie’s hands, “What happened earlier was scary and confusing. Do you want to talk to Daddy and me about it?”

Charlie could have said no and run off to her room. They wouldn’t have followed her or pushed her. Instead, she whispers, “Did…did she not want me because of my powers?”

Jon and Mar’i exchange a quick look. After years of showering their children with love and acceptance, celebrating their unique abilities, they aren’t about to let that be undone in one afternoon.

“I don’t know, baby. Like I said, she’s sick.” Mar’i wipes Charlie’s tears away. “Why do you think your powers are the reason she left?”

“’Cause they make me weirdo…”

"Who said that?" Jon asks.

"Mean kids at school. They think all people with powers are weirdos..."

“Really? Well then, Momma’s a weirdo. Daddy’s a weirdo.” Mar’i strokes her daughter’s cheek. “Peter and M&M are weirdos. So are Uncle Jai, Uncle Collie Auntie Irey—”

“Uncle Dami, Aunt Li, and Tia Mimi are weirdos." Jon kisses her head, "Plus, Uncle Chris, Uncle Kon, Gracie, Mama Lois, Papa Clark--"

“Papa Dick’s a bigger weirdo than any of us.” Mar’i teases. Charlie gives a tiny smile, but the tears overpower it. “Baby?”

“My Tummy Momma gave me to the bad people…because of my powers…” She sniffles, squeezing her eyes tight. “She didn’t want me. I wasn't right...”

“Charlotte Elisabeth Kent. Open your eyes for me, ok?” Charlie listens to her mother. “Who’s talking to you right now?”

“My Momma…”

“Who’s holding you right now?”

“My Daddy…” 

“That’s right.” Mar’i kisses Charlie’s forehead. “Do you think we love you less than if you didn’t have powers?”

“No, Momma.”

“Do you think we love Peter or M&M any more because your powers are all different?”

“No, Momma.”

“Your powers are a part of you. They make you so incredibly special, Charlie. But they aren’t the only thing about you. Your powers don’t make you an amazing big sister. They don’t help you be kind and caring to all the animals you come across. Your powers aren’t the reason Daddy and I love you. We love you for you.” Mar’i strokes Charlie’s cheek. “Do you remember what I told you, Peter, and M&M when Daddy and I adopted you?”

Charlie nods, hiccupping, “We grew in your heart, not under it.”

“That’s right baby. You grew right here.” Mar’i place’s her hand over her own heart then Charlie’s. “Starling, families come in all shapes and sizes. All that binds them togetther is what’s in here..”

“We love you so much, Charlie.” Jon kisses her head. “So, so much.”

“I don’t look like you.”

“So? I don’t look like Chris, but he’s my brother. Momma doesn’t look like Uncle Damian, Auntie Stephanie, or aunt Cass, does she?” Charlie shakes her head. “But we love them.”

Mar’i kisses Charlie’s hands. “You’re our baby girl. No matter what. Forever and always.”

“Forever and always.” Jon confirms.

“Forever and always.” Charlie parrots. Maybe she’ll believe it. Jon and Mar’i take turns holding her that night, letting her cry and feel what she needs to. Assuring her that she’s safe with them.

 After a dinner that she doesn’t touch, Charlie goes to her room for some quiet time. Coming out of the bathroom, Jon finds Mar’i sitting at the edge of their bed, biting her thumb as she reads a file. Charlie’s file from Cadmus. He gently takes the papers from her hands. 

“Mar’i. You can’t torture yourself with this.”

“Want a bet?” Mar’i stands, yanking the files away. “They documented every single horrific thing they did to her, Jon. All the experiments, her lab results, her feeding schedule. That woman…she gave Charlie to them. She let them hurt her. “

“I know.”

Mar’i throws the file onto her nightstand. Her voice breaks a bit, “They hurt our babies, Jon. I know they weren’t ours then, but they are now. Catherine doesn’t get to walk into her life now, claiming to be her mother because she shares Charlie’s DNA.”

“I know.” Jon pulls her into his arms, holding her tight. “It’s going to be ok. Charlie’s safe. She’s right down the hall and she knows that we’re here for her. Right now, there’s nothing more we can do.”

”I can’t lose my daughter, Jon.”

”You won’t. Catherine was notified of Charlie’s adoption. We did everything we were supposed to.” Jon pecks her lips, “No one would survive your wrath if they tried.”

”Where would you be during my wrath?”

”Fighting by your side. Like always.”  As they climb into bed, she asks, “What did you tell Peter and M&M?”

“The truth. Their big sister is having a very bad day.” Jon touches the corner of her frown. M&M, thankfully, was too young to remember her time in the Cadmus Lab. She knows that it was a bad place filled with bad people who hurt her brother and sister. Peter and Charlie still get flashbacks of their time there, but with Charlie’s powers, its safer to keep their younger children away on days like today. “Mom and Dad asked me to give her extra kisses and hugs from them.”

“Daddy? Momma?” Charlie peaks through the ajar door. “Can I come in?”

“Of course, cowgirl. Everything ok?” Jon asks. Charlie shuffles in, playing with the edge of her sleep shirt. 

“Can I please sleep in your bed?” She whimpers. Without hesitation, Mar'i and Jon push the covers down, placing a pillow between them. They move a little closer to her, but still give her some space. They relax as she crawl into Mar'i's arms. 

“You feeling a little better?” Jon pulls the covers over them.

“Kinda, Daddy.”

“Do you want to talk about anything?” Mar’i brushes some stray hair from Charlie’s dark brown eyes.

“No, Momma.” Charlie hides her face in Mar'i's chest, reaching and arm back for her daddy. Jon wraps an arm around his wife and oldest daughter, keeping Charlie safe between them.

[ellana-ravenwood]

“Vacations are rare for the Waynes” - Batmom x Batfam

Here’s a little collection of short stories about the Batfamily going to the beach/being in vacation ! I kinda just had ideas for tiny little snippets rather than a story that was a long one and made sense...it’s bad. Hope you’ll like it : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

How did the Wayne found time to go on vacation ?  

God bless Batwoman, Batgirl, Jim Gordon...And everyone who joined in helping the Batfamily over the years, because thanks to them, you, your husband, kids and beloved butler were FINALLY able to take some times off. 

A few years ago, leaving Gotham for vacations would have been a big no-no for Bruce, and you always understood, you really did. Hell, you had trouble leaving the Bat computer behind...But ever since he got new allies that weren’t direct family, things got easier. 

They all were able, since a long time now, to take at least one night off during the week and such. But actually full on holidays ? Oh that didn’t happen in...in...in forever ! 

The only holiday you went on with Bruce was without the kids, and it was for your Honeymoon. Three days. Three days of pure bliss (and lots of sex).

And now, the opportunity to be all together for A FULL WEEK came up ! 

It all started because Tim got injured pretty bad, but still wanted to go on patrol...and you lost your shit. You were always supportive of their nightly activities (though worried sick as well), and you were monitoring the bat computer almost every night, when you didn’t have “date night” with Bruce or “mother/son bonding time” with one of your boys ! 

You were really understanding, and you too wanted Gotham to be a safe place, having had the same kind of background than Bruce...But hell if you were going to let one of your babies go out in the streets while he was badly injured !

With your famous “Batmom Glare” and a stern voice, you told Tim : 

-You’re not going. You’re taking some vacation my boy, to relax and be fully charged again. In fact, we’re all taking a vacation ! 

...It kinda just happened. You were mad, they didn’t want to make you angry (you were scary when angry), and it was true that...All of them wanted well deserved time off. 

And it was decided. A week far away from the murkiness, grittiness, darkness that was Gotham, in the sunny Bahamas. Perfect. 

Of course, Bruce made sure that coming back to the city fast was possible, and also made sure to brief all of the Batpeople on anything that could happen but...He also really wanted to go. He wasn’t getting any younger and though he’d never admit it your little burst of anger was a blessing for him too. 

You all needed time away. Oh yes. And though you also made sure Gotham would be in safe hands (anyway, villains got pretty calm lately), you left without hesitation ! TO THE BAHAMAS !! 

The Airport :

You have no idea how you managed it. 

Everything was ready. Packed. On the go. And everyone was operational on time and, somehow along the way, after verifying everyone had everything they needed, after breaking a fight between Jason and Damian and convincing Dick that he didn’t need three luggages. After making sure everything was swell in the Batcave, and convincing Alfred to stop packing food and such...You ended up very late at the airport. 

You missed your plane. It wasn’t a big deal, in a few call Bruce got the Wayne Inc jet to come pick you guys up, but you were already a bit upset. 

It was ridiculous, you knew it, but traveling in a normal plane (even if in first class) was guarantying your anonymity when you’d arrive in the Bahamas. Arriving with the Jet where “WAYNE INC” was written across it in huge black letter on the white plain...well, it wouldn’t be so discreet anymore. 

You hoped it wouldn't ruin your vacation, that paparazzis wouldn’t harass you guys...But Bruce reassured you when he said he booked an entire beach resort just for you all. Of course he would. 

Going through security was more difficult that it should have been...Because of course Damian had knives in the pocket of his shorts. And of course he would try to fight the TSA agents trying to take it away, AND OF COURSE JASON WOULD ALMOST KNOCK THE MAN DOWN BECAUSE HOW DARE HE TOUCH HIS LITTLE BROTHER !! You guys almost all ended up at the police station until...The TSA agent recognize you and Bruce, asked for a picture with you guys, and just fanboy over you two. 

Needless to say, plenty of people took pictures of you guys walking through the airport to the VIP Lounge. 

So much for a discreet vacation. 

The fight to the death for the best room in the Villa : 

A magnificent villa. It wasn’t as big as Wayne Manor (good), but it was massive. Of course, your boys had to find a reason to fight and...

They wanted to fight to the death for the best room. Well, maybe not to death but this good old : “Last one standing gets the best room !” thing. 

They were bummed out that you wouldn’t let them. Of course you wouldn’t. 

You and Bruce took the best room, and your argument about it being the furthest away from all the other rooms so that they wouldn’t hear you two “doing it” won them over. Yeah. Ok. Their parents could take the best room. 

And to settle the rest, you made them play a mean game of...Rock paper scissor. When they all got their assigned room, you dared them to be grumpy about it...And of course, none of them uttered a word. And when Bruce took your hand, laying a loving kiss on it, saying something cheesy like : “You always got the best solutions my love” and started to slowly drag you behind him toward your bedroom to the two of you, peppering kisses down your neck and all...Oh they ran away to the beach. As fast as they could.

The Hammock :

On the wooden terrace outside, with a beautiful view of the ocean, there was a hammock, attached between two trees. 

It was probably Bruce’s favorite place to fall asleep and relax. 

Often, when you came back from the beach, having left without telling him because you didn’t want to wake him up (he had a lot of sleep to catch up), you would lay a small kiss on his nose or his forehead. 

That morning, as you were getting ready to go to the beach with your sons, right after breakfast, you went once again to kiss him but...He wasn’t asleep this time. Oh no. 

He grabbed you and dragged you down on top of him, kissing you passionately on the mouth, completely ignoring the gagging sounds coming from where his kids were and...Well. 

A hammock isn’t exactly the most stable of things. And of course you fell on the floor. As usual, he managed to be the first one to hit the ground, and shielded you from the small little shock. 

The laugh that took over your entire family was the freshest you all ever shared. 

The boat : 

It was a very nice boat. Very nice indeed. 

And you should have never listened to Damian when he said : “Can I drive ? I know how”. Never. Because he crashed it on the beach. 

But not just any beach, oh no. A beach where there was a restaurant. 

The horrified look on yours and Bruce’s faces would have been hilarious in any other situation, but Dick, Jason and Tim couldn’t laugh, trying to calm their heart because THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO DIE !! 

He crashed in a fucking restaurant. Salads and wine flew everywhere, covering you guys. And all he had to say was : 

-I said I knew how to drive, not how to stop. 

The sand :

It was notoriously known that you hated the sand. And it was notoriously known that neither your sons nor your husband could resist you much. Whenever you had to go to the beach, one of them would give you a piggy back ride to the water and back. 

And the worst thing was ? They did it with great pleasure. Because they knew that you really REALLY hated sand. Besides, Bruce loved the way you kissed his neck and jaw when he was holding you, Dick loved how you ruffled his hair, Jason loved how you’d annoy his brothers about how much taller than them he was, and how high up you felt on his back, you forbid Tim to even try to carry you as he was still injured, and Damian spent the entire trip trying to convince you “he could do it”. When you let him, he made twelve steps before dropping you in the sand. 

It was so cute, how he apologized, that you didn’t even get mad. Oh damn you loved those boys...

The diving board : 

They broke it. Of course they broke it. You told them they would break it. But were they listening to you ? Nooooo. 

When they were going one by one on it, it was all fine of course. 

But as soon as they started to try to jump more than one from it, you knew they were going to break it. And the worst thing in all of that ? Bruce was encouraging them, hell, he even went to jump with them and, as they were all on the fucking board...

Crrrrraaaack. 

You and Alfred face palmed so hard that you were pretty sure you both just settled a record. 

You had absolutely no remorse pulling roughly that massive splinter Bruce got in his thigh when the board shattered...Though after his “Tjaaaaah that hurt !” that was very much unlike him (after all, you fixed injuries that were way worst than that on him), you gave him a look signifying that you would make it all feel better tonight, and he visibly gulped. 

The next day, his sons and Alfred tried their hardest to ignore the love bites that littered his thighs. 

When someone hit on Batmom : 

It happened really fast. 

You were waiting for Bruce and the boys to come back with ice creams when you got accosted by three men. Sure they were pretty good looking, but not as half handsome as they thought they were. 

Ew. Exactly the kind of men you hated, who thought they were irresistible. They started to hit on you shamelessly, and you were about to humiliate them with your sarcasms and wits when something better arrived...

Your husband and sons. 

Bruce was towering above them, being a gigantic man, and with a harsh voice just said : 

-Is there a problem here ?

They slowly backed away, not even realizing they were doing it, and said that of course not, everything was good, they were just discussing with the lady. 

-The lady is my wife. 

Damn. Even the little kid looked at them as if he was about to kill them...those dudes were scary. And a pretty girl, even as pretty as you, was just not worth it ! They cowered away, not looking back even once. 

Bruce gave you a look asking if you were ok, and you raised your eyebrows. As if annoying men never hit on you before. The reminiscence that some men thought you were highly attractive displeased your husband, and you knew that once you’d got in your shared bedroom, just the two of you, you’d be in for a treat. You winked at him and your sons rolled their eyes. 

You were about to thank them when... : 

-I was about to shove my ice cream up their...

-JASON ! 

-Oh hum, sorry mom. 

“GO AWAY I WANT TO READ !” : 

You were comfortably installed on a beach chair, reading an amazing book, when Bruce arrived. 

He went to swim a bit on his own, to “clear his mind”, and good, because you wanted to read right now. You guys all got so busy so far that you didn’t had time to read at all, and that wasn’t going to work. 

He was wet and was acting as if he was going to lay next to you...putting your feet on his abs, not looking up from your book, you pushed him away and said : 

-Broosh, I’m reading right now. 

He ignored you and grabbed your foot in one hand, grabbing the other one too as you were about to push him with this one and just landed on you, his head on your stomach, his body in between your legs. 

You sighed, and tried to get away from his grasp, but he wouldn’t have it. 

Usually, you didn’t mind when he was getting clingy, but hell, you were trying to read ! How dare he interrupt your reading ! Especially since his open mouthed kisses on your stomach were a bit...distracting. You suddenly understood why he privatized an entire resort...But no. Not now. 

With a frown, you got hold of his chin and made him look up to you : 

-I. Am. Reading. 

Oh. You weren’t kidding. You were totally not in the mood. He groaned a bit, but didn’t insist much. He didn’t move though, laying his head back on your stomach, and when you didn’t protest, he just stayed there and fell asleep...

Your hands caressing his hair and back lovingly is what woke him up. 

Your book was on a table on the side, and the look in your eyes...Well alright then. Reading time was over, and you were ready to take care of him. And him of you. 

You giggled like a teenage girl when he got on his knees and dragged you with him to pick you up bridal style, and rushed back to your shared bedroom where he was sure no one would snap naked pictures of the both of you...It wouldn’t be of the best taste, to be in the people magazines, butt naked, when you two would come home. 

The muscle flexing contest : 

The villa you rented (and were more and more thinking to buy) wasn’t far from a small town where a lot of other vacationers where. One night, you all went there to see what was up and...Oh my god you almost died of embarrassment. 

There was a “muscle flexing contest” that was suppose to be a joke...but your sons took it very seriously. They flexed all their muscles, and though it was a bit embarrassing how much into this they all were, you couldn’t help but smile at them. Especially at your two oldest sons that kept winking at girls and such. 

Jason was about to win when his father stood on the stage, and of course, everyone voted for him. 

You glared at more than one woman (and men) that were eating your Bruce with their eyes, and when he got down with a RIDICULOUS trophy in the form of a bodybuilder, the kiss you gave him made everyone envious. Of both him and you. Because maybe you were a bit jealous, but it’s only because you didn’t notice all those men (and women) staring at you because of the natural aura that surrounded you, that just made you so damn attractive. 

You and Bruce, suddenly unaware of your surroundings, didn’t realize all the envious stare you both got, because it really seemed, even to people who didn't know you, that you were both so much in love. 

You didn’t hear either, too focused on each others, the laughs of people around when your sons followed after you two making gagging sounds and other face as if they were about to vomit. 

The cute teenage girls : 

Oh more than one heart was broken that week. 

Dick did it, but not on purpose. He was such a nice young man that he was treating every girl he met very nicely, and they all thought he meant more...but then, whenever he said he actually had a girlfriend back home. Oh broken hearts. 

Jason found a girlfriend. She was from the Bahamas and it tore your heart apart a bit when they had to say goodbye. They exchanged their numbers, and you knew that if that was actually genuine true first love, then a long distance relationship would work. And oh damn Jason was just so cute being all awkward and nervous. He reminded you of Bruce when you first met him. It was funny really, because they were both quite intimidating and such and yet...Yet they had a heart of gold and were your personal little teddy bears.

Tim was a player. Oh my god hat boy surprised you ! He took advantage of his injuries to get to talk to girls and WOW. And everyone thought he was just a nerdy kid uh ? Clearly, they were wrong. You almost scolded him, because you didn’t not like womanizer but you quickly realized that he wasn’t actually doing any harm, and you knew he would go back to being your lovely geeky and awkward boy addicted to coffee when you’d all get home. Let him have his harmless fun, as long as it was just little kisses (and seeing how his face turned red every time he pecked a girl, it was clearly just little kisses...how cute).

Damian blushed like crazy when a cute girl his age talked to him, and he ran away. The girl got very confused, and Damian came to find shelter in your arm. Oh, he just wasn’t ready yet to talk to cute girls...The ordinary so sure Damian Wayne was scared of that. But hey, his mommy’s embrace was quite reassuring and he would kill anyone mocking him right now. 

Dick :

Dick had the time of his life. 

He surfed, he swam, he did parkour with some of the local kids, teaching them some moves, he ate amazing food, he spend time with his brothers, he drove you and Bruce crazy...He had the time of his life. It was the first time since he was nine and you took him to Disneyland that he got vacations. 

it was so nice to let all his worries, all his fear for the future behind, even for just a little short week. The only thing that was missing for everything to be perfect, was if his girlfriend Lydia was here (wink wink you know who you are). But she was away at her dad’s and he understood she needed some time. 

Tim : 

Tim’s favorite thing about the trip was that he got to spend some quality times with his entire family. 

Not just a movie night, and not just with one of his brothers, one of his parents or something...No. All together. At the same place at the same time. 

The second thing was that for the first time in a very very long time...He got full night sleeps. He had a full 9 hours of sleep more than once. He didn’t drink one cup of coffee of the entire trip, and when you gave him a little pins telling him that it was to celebrate his first week off coffee (as alcoholic or drug addict would have little coins to prove they were sober for 1, 2 etc etc years), he burst out in laughter like he never did before. 

And the way you were unable to not wrap your arms around him and squeeze him against your heart because of this filled him with happiness. 

Damian : 

Damian found that the proximity of the ocean, and the fact that his family was available whenever he wanted...turned him into the sweetest boy ever. 

He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing, but when Dick stole his ice cream as a joke, he didn’t try to kill him so...That was something. 

He found that this place, and the fact that he was with all of you, made him very emotional. He wanted to be with you all, and not alone as usual (just like you, he was quite introverted). And for the first time, he wasn’t ashamed to ask for cuddles, for kisses, and just genuinely voice his enjoyment of being there, with all of you. He missed his animals though, and you had to console him very late at night once, because he wanted his batcow...Your hugs and kisses made all the little blue feelings he felt go away. 

Jason :

Jason hasn’t had such a great week since he came back to life. 

To his taste, it wasn’t long enough. He wished he had more time, because those short seven little days, he got closer to his brothers and his father than ever before. 

You ? Well you two always been close, even in his darkest moment. You’ve always been his beloved mother. But the relationship he had with his brothers and dad wasn’t always...ideal. 

During those seven days though, it was perfect. Not one fight. He fished with Bruce, just the two of them, talking talking and talking. He taught Damian how to bodysurf. Tim and him made the best homemade fireworks ever. And with Dick, they just spend their time chilling at the beach, and talking about anything that came to their mind (including stupid things like : “What really are platypuses ?”).

Bruce : 

Bruce felt everything his children felt and more.

He was happy to be far from his obligations, to be with his family, to enjoy their presence without any worries tainting everything. 

For the first time since this fateful night when his parents got murdered...he was truly free of every negative feelings. You usually had his effect on him, but even you couldn’t erase everything, and though he loved you more than anything, so much it hurt and all of that, though he would die for your well being...sometimes, he couldn’t kick the sadness away, and even you couldn’t change that. He had learn to live with this dark spot on his heart at all time...and yet...here...here, it went away. 

Of course, most of the time when he was with you, the dark spot on his heart was microscopic but it was still there, lingering , ready to come back as soon as you were gone. 

But here, on this island, with all the people he loved...he was free.

Everything went away, and only happiness and love remained. 

Alfred : 

You didn’t find much of Alfred. Sure he was around for some family time. He was there when you guys watched movies before bed. He was there for lunches and dinners but...other than that, he was no where to be seen. 

You understood, really. His vacations were to know you guys were all safe (as long as you decided not to do anything stupid...like letting Damian drive a boat ever again), and that he could let go. 

And so he spend a week on his own, not worrying one bit for the first time in years. 

The way home :

The way home was quiet and full of nostalgia already. 

You were glad to come home but...The memories you made during this week were just so incredible.

Bruce made a mental note to try and find a way to get time off more often. And as he holds your sleeping form in his arms on the plane trip home, as you cuddle close to him and as he looks upon his comatose sons (very tired...jet lagged) and half-asleep butler, he cannot help but smile and be ridiculously happy. 

Yes. He would make sure that you would all have time off from time to time. Next time, he’d take you guys to Europe or something...

___________________________

Hope you liked it. It was just a really silly idea I got all of a sudden, and I wrote it in 11 minutes (yes, I’m a looser, I counted...). Ahem. Anyway. Thanks for reading :-). 

[batfamily--headcanons]

Batfam (plus the girls & Duke) at an amusement park? Who would go on all the scary rides? Who would definitely throw up at some point?

I love this idea since it’s such a normal thing to do and as we all know the batfamily is anything but normal. This of course means that they manage to cause trouble anywhere and everywhere. 

“Okay everyone, we’re here. Now I’m going to ask all of you for the hundredth time to behave today,” Bruce Wayne says to his children as they park the car.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried about them behaving. It’s just an amusement park, how could they possibly cause trouble here?,” Duke asks.

“This is your first non-mission outing with them, isn’t it?,” Barbara asks in response.

“Damian will have to behave since he’s not tall enough to go on any of the rides he’s likely to cause trouble on,” Tim says.

“Because you are so much taller than I am, Drake,” Damian scoffs.

“It’s okay, demon brat, I’m sure Dick will go on all of the baby rides with you. Wouldn’t want you to get too scared,” Jason taunts.

Bruce steps between Jason and Damian before Damian can attack his pseudo brother. He’s wearing the Batman scowl and all of his children back away slowly without saying another word. Once they’ve paid for their bracelets, the family heads inside the park, some with anticipation and some with begrudging acceptance.

Jason immediately runs for the biggest roller coaster in the park, dragging Tim along with him. Tim does not want to go on that ride, not at all, but Jason doesn’t listen to his constant protests and before he knows it, he’s sitting in the roller coaster. They hear a familiar voice behind them and turn around to see Damian Wayne.

When asked how he got onto a ride that he is certainly not tall enough for, he tells them that he managed to convince the ride operator to let him on. That’s Damian’s code for ‘I totally threatened his life’. They all know Damian is only on the ride to prove that he’s not afraid of anything, but nobody says it out loud. 

After the ride, Tim goes to sit with Alfred at a picnic table to recuperate from throwing up while Damian has the time of his life making fun of him for that. Thankfully, Dick pulls him away to go eat some cotton candy. 

“Have you ever tried cotton candy before, baby bat?”

“Why would I have wanted to eat pure sugar? Also, do not call me that asinine name, Grayson.”

“Come on, just give it a try.”

Damian hesitantly takes a bite of the sugary treat and his eyes go almost comically wide and he takes another bite. He doesn’t speak again until the candy is all gone.

“It was satisfactory, I suppose,” he says, trying to regain his dignity.

“Sure it was,” Dick says with a huge grin plastered to his face. 

Meanwhile Steph, Babs, and Cass are going on every ride at the park. Cassandra has never been to an amusement park so Stephanie has made it her mission for it to be An Experience (Steph insists that capital letters are completely necessary). Barbara just kind of went along with it, enjoying spending time with her friends outside of their nightly activities. 

Cass loves rides. She loves the roller coasters, the teacups, the ferris wheel, the tilt-a-whirl, and everything else you can think of. Her favourite ride is the huge roller coaster Tim threw up on. Steph and Babs refused to go on it a second time, so Cass, Jason, and Duke ending up riding it over and over again together. 

Bruce goes from group to group, trying to spend an equal amount of time with all of his children. He’s not the biggest fan of amusement parks due to many a fight with the Joker taking place in such places, but he would do anything for his children. Bruce and Jason even get along for the entire day, making them both nostalgic for when things weren’t so complicated.

At the end of the day, they all pile into the bus Bruce had to buy to transport all of his children since he has so many. Alfred said it was a bad sign when you have so many kids that you need a bus, but it was all in good fun. Everyone ended up asleep before they got back to the manor and Bruce had to take a picture for his not-so-secret scrapbook.

[dickie-gayson]

SHENANIGANS

DUKE VS THE SUN AND DICK’S HAREM OF OLDER MEN

Summary: After a rough night on patrol, Duke just wants the sun to go away. In trying to do so, he manages to drive Dick up the wall about his harem of older men.

Otherwise known as: In which Duke is too stubborn to just move his seat and Dick is in serious denial.

Characters: Duke Thomas, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain, Luke Fox, Stephanie Brown, Harper Row

Genre: Family, Humor

Length: 4k+

Other: Just a funny, nonsense fic (that was only supposed to be like 1k wtf) i tried to give everyone speaking parts w./o making it too confusing. Dialogue Heavy.

Find It On: Ao3 Fanfiction 

All was quiet in Wayne Manor as the sun sat high in the sky. Such a thing was not odd for the mostly nocturnal family. Today, however, was a special occasion. The previous night's patrol had been somewhat strenuous for the patrolling bats and birds, and as such, they were given a day to unwind and recover from the fatigue. Naturally, after crashing for a few hours, the members started to slowly rise and shuffle about, none-too-happy about being conscious, but alas, they were never known to maintain a healthy sleep schedule. There was always something more important to be done, even on a 'day off'. A day off in the Batfamily was really just another way of saying 'paperwork and investigation day'.

Duke slumped at the absurdly long dinner table with a loud, beleaguered groan, as if the sheer act of being conscious was a great torment of some form. Slowly, deep brown eyes rose and squinted at the window that let sunshine wash across the room. It almost looked as if the force of his glare alone could close the curtains. There was a soul-deep hatred one could only get after being put through hell and having to stave off the sweet embrace of slumber for more work. That, or being so incredibly hung-over and being forced to attend a third-graders school concert. It was almost impressive, really, how much it seemed that the sun itself personally offended him.

Another person walked into the dining room, loudly munching on their choice of breakfast (and wouldn't you know that's the only sound they made?). Duke was still getting used to living in a house full of goddamn ninjas. He purposefully ignored the person as they drew closer, in no mood to converse. Really, all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep off the rough night he had. That, and throw the sun in the fucking trash because nothing had the right to be that bright and cheery when he felt like he went twenty rounds with Troia.

His attempts to ignore the person were rendered useless as yet another person entered the room and he just knew shit was going to go down. No more than two (2) Bats can be in a room together without some sort of catastrophe going on. It's like a scientific law at this point. He let out another melodramatic sigh and let his head drop to the table with a 'thud'. Then, he winced and groaned again as his headache increased just a bit from the unnecessary abuse.

"Aww, what's wrong baby bird? Long night?"

That soul-penetrating glare was leveled to the owner of the teasing, baby voice. An amused smirk is what met his eyes. Of course, it'd be Jason ready to fuck with him. He was pretty sure the oldest Batkids didn't sleep. Ever. And that they had some unnatural ability to bounce back from the worst situations like goddamn bouncy balls. Duke wasn't fully convinced they weren't secret metahumans. Just last week he caught Tim trying hang-glide with one broken arm so he could meet up with Kon at four in the morning for waffles or some equally dumb shit. And then there was the time Dick walked out of an exploding building while he was on fire and just laughed about it. Duke was almost positive there was some amount of mental trauma at the very least, given all their head and non-physical injuries.

"What is wrong with all of you?"

There was no true venom behind the words; just the understandable irritation of a kid who got clotheslined by some ugly dude in an even uglier suit at two in the morning. Jason just laughed and Dick chuckled around his spoon of probably overly sugary cereal. Great, he had the two oldest to deal with. He could already feel his desire to leap out the window rising. At least he wasn't going to get beat up by a thirteen-year-old again, that's a plus.

"Before or after the Crowbar Incident? You want a list? I bet I have more problems than Dickhead."

At that, Dick gave a derogative snort and flicked some of his cereal at Jason, who dodged it. The bit managed to hit Duke in the forehead and his glare just narrowed just a bit more at the older vigilantes. Jason pointed and laughed as the piece slowly slid and plopped onto Duke's lap.

"I'm going to go out and spit on your grave."

The oldest hero laughed loudly at Duke's irritation. He had to put his bowl on the table and steady himself at the affronted look plastered on the formerly dead man's face.

"Wow, Duke, tell me how you really feel."

It was still odd, adjusting to joking about some of them having died before. But, as he learned over time, they loved bringing it up in every situation. Mostly Jason, if he were being honest. Duke was still too scared to bring it up to Cass and Damian. Cass was too nice and also fucking scary, and Damian already beat the ever-loving hell out of him once. He did not want a repeat, thanks.

The cloud formerly hiding the sun for just a bit finally passed and Duke was, once more, hit full force with the rays of the sun. His look of intense hatred was once more turned to the offending light. Without turning his angered stare from the window, he spoke up.

"Dick, call your leather daddy."

He didn't need to turn to know the eldest just choked on his food and was trying to hack it up from the wrong tube. Jason, meanwhile, was absolutely dying. Duke shifted to glance at the two. The younger of the two ex-Robins had one hand on his knee and was pointing at Dick with his free hand, laughing obnoxiously. Meanwhile, the older was glaring, face red from just having choked on Crocky Crunch.

"Shut up, Jason. And what do you mean 'leather daddy'. I don't have a leather daddy."

Just to irritate him, Jason laughed louder. The laughter seemed to have drawn others in, because Tim slipped in, looking just shy of actually dead. Behind him was Cass, looking graceful as ever. How she did it, he'd never know. Tim looked at the scene with mild suspicion, not that Duke could blame him. There was always a fifty-fifty shot that someone laughing at another member was bad. Cass just looked entertained. Her ability to read a situation so quickly was as unnerving as it was awesome.

"Why does Jason look like he's about to pass out? Did they break out the mullet pictures again?"

Dick turned his glare to Tim.

"Not you too! There were no mullet pictures this time! Jason's laughing because he's dumb."

Jason wiped a pretend tear as he straightened up slightly.

"Wrong, Dickface. I'm laughing because Duke is my new favorite brother."

Duke just looked at him with mild confusion. Tim seemed to mirror his look, though there was a bit more skepticism. Sometimes Duke still marveled at just how much like Bruce the other was. Did they teach 'paranoia' classes here or something? Was it like a required trait when being adopted by the big bad Bat? You had to be at least level 5 in either Paranoia, Nerd, or Athlete to join their cosplay group. Dick was staring at Jason as if just said the Riddler was the new fashion icon.

"That makes no sense Jason, but no surprise here. Also, why is he your favorite? He threatened to spit on your grave!"

Jason just raises an eyebrow in response. Duke wished he could do that.

"Yeah? And he didn't wear a rainbow polka-dot shirt with high-waisted jeans and dad loafers. Not to mention you had The Mullet at the time."

Duke couldn't help but let out the disgusted sound at the mental imagery. Tim visibly shuttered and even Cass looked at Dick with something akin to mild horror. Dick just put his head in his hands.

"Why? Why am I stuck with you all? Where's Damian, I need someone in my corner."

The words basically fell on deaf ears as Duke was still marveling over the atrocious mess that was Dick Grayson's fashion choices. How the man got voted the Most Eligible Bachelor and posted up as a part-time model when he was strapped for cash, Duke would never know. You could tell he grew up in a circus from the way he dressed. Not that Duke would ever say that because it felt like a really douche thing to say and he didn't want to get suplexed by the eldest. If he didn't stand a chance against Damian, he would get demolished by Dick. The guy had more fighting experience than most heroes in the business. So, for that, he could forgive his fashion crimes. But that didn't mean he forgot what he's been trying to get Dick to do before everyone derailed the conversation. Duke snapped his fingers for attention.

"Hello? Leather daddy? Call him."

Jason started to chuckle all over again, and Tim let out a startled sort of laugh, caught off-guard by the words. Dick let out an aggravated breath. Duke could see Cass laughing silently behind her hand as she watched the idiocy unfold.

"For the last time Duke, I do NOT have a leather daddy! And why do you need Midnighter, anyway?'

Everyone went dead quiet for a moment before Jason roared with laughter, almost on the floor at this point. Even Tim was having trouble remaining standing. He needed to lean on Cass to stay upright. He wheezed out between laughs.

"Oh my god, Dick. You just- He never said it was Midnighter."

Dick's face turned an interesting deep crimson, which was still frustratingly handsome. Duke didn't think it was fair, really. When he got embarrassed, he looked something like a frightened chipmunk.

"I...Uh...He's the only one I hang out with that wears leather and you guys tease me about."

Now, Duke was no expert or anything, but he was pretty sure if Jason didn't start breathing soon, he was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Being that he was too indisposed to speak, Tim had the honors of filling in for him in the 'irritate Dick Grayson' category.

"Bullshit, we keep a list."

Somewhere between the stunned look on the veteran hero's face and the surprising snort of laughter that came from Cass, Luke entered the fray. He looked around the group warily. Good instincts. While Luke was busy eating his apple and surveying the scene, Dick managed to recompose himself. He narrowed his bright eyes in distrust.

"A list?"

After a noisy bite, Luke spoke up, not content with being left out of the loop.

"A list of what?"

From somewhere near the floor, Jason managed to choke out between panting breaths.

"Dick's sugar daddies."

"Ahh, that list. You add Raptor to it yet?"

Duke slammed his hands down on the table, catching their undivided attention. The sun was hitting him just right and it was annoying as all hell. He wondered if he could convince Superman to move the sun. Or the manor. He wasn't picky.

"Focus! I'm the one with the issue here! Call up your scary leather boyfriend and tell him to bring his boyfriend here."

Dick's gaze only grew more suspicious as he eyed up Duke.

"Why do you need Apollo?"

Tim snorted and faux-whispered to Steph, who had shown up with Harper and Barbara in the time that Duke was ranting.

"He didn't even try to deny being Midnighter's other boyfriend."

If one looked closely, they could almost see a vein in Dick's head throbbing like some sort of cartoon.

"Shut. up."

Duke, in a show of almost supernatural willpower, managed to ignore them and press on with his own devastating issues. Really, they should be paying full attention to his issue. He was the new kid and this was serious.

"I need Apollo here...so I can punch him."

His voice had been so calm and serious that it actually garnered incredulous stares. Dick had to take a moment to himself out of surprise. Luke just looked at Duke with something close to disbelief.

"Wha- Why do you want to punch Apollo? You've never met him. Also, he's super-powered, my dude."

Duke gave a flat, dead-serious stare.

"I know, I don't care. I want to punch him."

This time, it was Harper who piped up.

"But why?"

"Well, I can't feasibly go outside and punch the sun, now can I?"

Dick finally seemed to recollect himself, because he took back the reigns of the conversation.

"You...want me to call Midnighter."

"Yes."

"So he can bring Apollo."

"Yep."

"So you can punch Apollo."

"Correct."

"Because you can't punch the sun?"

"You got it."

There was another beat of silence. Then, Dick decided to break it with possibly the most somber voice Duke's ever heard come from the man.

"...Duke, what, and I mean this as nicely as possible, the fuck?"

"Listen, it makes perfect sense. Back me up, Tim. You're the smart one here. I can't fight the sun, but I can fight the guy who is based on the Sun God."

It looked as if Tim was actually debating the merits of the plan when Damian spoke up. The newest addition to the batclan nearly had a goddamn heart attack because he had not seen or heard Damian come in. He eyed up the smaller boy warily.

"Wrong. You can get decimated by the guy who is based on a Sun God. Because that is exactly what will happen if you attempt to fight him, Thomas."

"Hey, all I need is one hit and I'll feel better."

At the disparaging scoff that came from Luke, Duke shot him a Look. It wasn't quite to the Bat-level yet, but he was working on it. Hey, he was pretty proud of his Look so far. It scared a few of the baddies. He'll get there one day. At the moment, however, Luke just gave him a smirk back and spoke.

"Man, you'll feel a helluva lot worse, I bet. Not only would you be fighting a superhuman, but the superhuman's angry superhuman boyfriend."

Steph piped in with a look of exaggerated and obviously fake confusion on her face.

"Dick isn't a superhuman, though."

Dick let out a frustrated growl, clearly having fallen for the bait. Steph just smiled in satisfaction.

"He meant Midnighter! I am not dating Apollo!"

"Right, you're just dating M. Who's dating Apollo."

"For fuck's sake. I'm not dating either of them!"

If Dick got any more aggravated, Duke was betting his hair would either start turning white or just fall right out. He was mentally betting on falling out. A Luthor-style Dick would be hilarious. Meanwhile, Harper figured now would be a good time to join in on the 'irritate the oldest' bonding moment they were having.

"Yeah, he's clearly dating that one angry dude who worked with him when he was a super spy or some shit."

Babs gave an entertained look to Harper at the words. She seemed to be having the time of her life messing with her ex. The look in her eyes made Duke mentally remind himself not to piss her off anytime soon.

"You mean Tiger?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"NO I'M NOT!"

He had to idly wonder where Bruce and Alfred were. They were being obnoxiously loud for being bats. Dick looked like his head was going to pop, either from aggravation or embarrassment, and the rest were having a blast. 'Nothing like family bonding over dragging a sibling.' Jason finally seemed to come out of his laughter-induced coma.

"Duh, if Dickie were smashing anyone, it'd be Constantine."

The look of sheer incredulity on Dick's face was priceless. Duke would admit this one threw him for a loop. He's heard of the tricky magic-user who sold his soul however many times. But, he's never heard of the Brit liking Dick. Not that it'd be a surprise. Duke could probably throw a rock in any direction and hit someone who wanted to bone the original Robin.

"What the hell? John Constantine? Where did that even come from?!"

Jason just gave him a serious, flat look.

"He totally has the hots for you."

Babs gave a sage nod, as if nothing truer had ever been spoken. Even Luke gave a sound of agreement. Dick couldn't help but look at them in surprise.

"No, he does not. Where did you hear that?"

"I heard it from Kyle who heard it from Simon. Apparently, during a meeting of some form where he was with John, John wouldn't stop talking 'bout how much of a beefcake you are."

"Oh my God, just end my life already. For real this time."

Tim snapped his fingers, as if remembering something.

"Oh yeah! I heard about that! It was the talk of the Watchtower for a bit there."

At this point, Dick had his head in his hands once more and looked ready to resign from life in general.

"I hate you. I hate you all."

Duke cleared his throat and waved his arms to garner their attention.

"Guys, we're getting off track. We can talk about Dick's Harem of Older Men later. I have a sun to punch."

"I do NOT have a Harem of Older Men! Where do you guys get this information?!"

The joined 'siblings' shared a look. The fact that this might have been discussed before left a look of true horror on the first Boy Wonder's face. Duke apparently hadn't been around long enough to enjoy these sessions. He wasn't sure whether he should be pleased or disappointed about that fact. Cass started ticking off sources, much to Dick's shock.

"Other heroes. Villains. Oracle. Watching you and enemies. Very obvious."

Babs looked from her successor to Dick with a growing look of amusement.

"They're not wrong. We're keeping a tally on who's in the Dick Grayson Older Men Fan Club. Fifty bucks say you get a new member in the next two months."

"There is no fan club."

Tim shook his head, as if saddened that Dick couldn't accept the obvious. Steph was having a ball needling Dick.

"There totally is. Slade's the president, M's the treasurer, Thomas Wayne Jr. is the VP, Constan-'

At that, Duke shot the blonde a look of confusion. He was still going through the list of criminal profiles and hadn't made it to that name yet. It was the fact that he recognized the name Thomas Wayne as Bruce's father that caught his attention.

"Wait, Thomas Wayne Jr.? Who the hell is that?"

Steph, as if realizing that not everyone gathered witnessed whatever fuckery brought the man around, took pity on Duke and explained just a little.

"Oh, Bruce's older brother from an alternate universe or some shit. Evil. Totally has a hard on for Dick, anyway-'

"That's so fucked up, man."

He marveled yet again over the sheer level of absurdity this family went through on a near daily basis. And he willingly submerged himself into it. Great.

"GUYS! SHUT UP! THERE IS NO HAREM OR FAN CLUB.-'

"I think we established that there is."

'-SLADE IS DEFINITELY NOT THE PRESIDENT-'

"Oh, please, he liked invented your fan club."

'-AND BRUCE'S BROTHER DOESN'T HAVE THE HOTS FOR ME."

"Yeah, cus just anyone goes to an alternate universe to stalk the alternate version of their old partner and kidnap them to keep them."

"That is NOT what went down."

"Suuuuure."

Duke really didn't want to think about ANY of that for more than three seconds, because honestly, what the in the fresh hell. How is Dick alive with that many crazy creeps after him? If it were Duke, he probably would have just hung up the tights and called it a day. He does not need whacked out assassins after his ass, no thanks. Shaking his head, as if it'd rid him of disturbing images of way-too-tight suits and creepy old men, he spoke up. Duke still hasn't gotten to punch the overly cheerful ball in the sky or its metahuman counterpart. This is unbelievable. Bats got shit done except when he needed to beat someone up.

"DICK. Bring your boyfriend's boyfriend here! I need to hit him! This shit is too bright. Gotham ain't ever this bright, what the fuck."

"Oh, for the love of- Duke, if you want to hit someone, go punch Jason."

At that moment, Damian shoved his way to the front and center of Dick's view. There was a look of disgust and irritation scrunched up on his otherwise adorable features. Duke subtly (or tried to be subtle) scooted back from the duo. That look meant he was unhappy. And if it was involving his precious oldest brother/father-figure, Duke was not getting in the middle of that. He wasn't suicidal, despite what his late-night activities might suggest.

"Grayson, we need to discuss this harem of older men dedicated to you."

Dick took a deep breath and tried to appear calm for the youngest of the family. He gave the boy a patient look that only came with years of practice.

"Damian, there is no harem, they're being dumb."

Clearly, that wasn't the answer the young hero was looking for. He gave one of his infamous little tongue clicks and rolled his eyes.

"That isn't new knowledge. However, I have seen and heard things that would coincide with their stories. I do not approve."

Just like that, Dick's calm facade shattered. Honestly, he was impressed it held for even half of the sentence.

"I swear to god, there is no harem. There isn't even a fan club. None that I've heard of, at any rate."

Damian merely gave a contemplative hum. There was that look in his eyes. You know, the look of a Bat who just became obsessed with a case. It was almost worrying because Duke was positive the kid was going to take this way too seriously.

"I need find this 'fan club' and dismantle it before they attempt anything."

Jason was practically vibrating in his seat in an attempt to hold in his raucous laughter. This was clearly the best day he's had in a while.

"That's right, baby bat! Go get 'em! They're out to steal our precious big bird."

Dick shot him the patented 'Batglare', though years of exposure lessened the effects to the smartass vigilante.

"Do NOT encourage him, Jason."

It was obvious Jason heard him, but he pretended not to and merely kept his attention solely on the youngest Robin. Tim, seeing this as a wondrous and golden opportunity to fuck with Damian, pitched in his two-cents.

"In fact, I think you should join the fan club. Work your way up the ranks, like a sort of double agent, and then bring them all down."

"Hmm...this plan has merit, even if it's coming from Drake."

"Thanks, Dami."

Jason scoffed from his position against the table.

"He only wants to join for the t-shirt."

"Tt, no. If I wanted any Grayson merchandise, I could simply go to the dollar store and buy something. I need to ensure that these...miscreants have nothing nefarious planned. Grayson often leaves himself open in such stupid ways around them."

"Excuse me? I do not. And for the last damn time...you know what? Never mind, have fun trying to find this imaginary club. And you,-'

He pointed directly at Duke, the one who started this whole thing. Duke just gave him a squinted look, still waiting for him to call Midnighter for him.

'have fun trying to fist fight something that would destroy your ass. I'm out."

With that, the eldest stalked out of the room, having hit his quota for irritation and insults for the day. Though, Luke managed to slip one more in before he was out of hearing range.

"Try not to pick up any more older men while you're out!"

"FUCK OFF!"

There was a moment of silence in which they all just kind of reveled in the shared amusement. Then, Duke turned his squint to Tim as the sun still burned his retinas.

"Hey Tim, you think you can call Superboy?"

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

He loves Jason on most days he's pretty confident that's it mutal.

Brothers and all that shit clearly something happened either Bruce being a bitch or whatever else can make him insecure. That still doesn't give Jason the right to hold a gun to his head and be a fucking prick.

"What are you gonna do now Tim-Tam still so trusting of your big brother."

Self Deprecating is not a good look on Jason Todd.

Now normally this is where Tim takes a step back softens his tone gives the I love you Jay, I know you wouldn't hurt me, we are past this.

Hey he has this down to a science.

Yet he doesn't feel like it appealing to his big brother by rolling over.

Instead he steps forward the gun cold against his forehead he already sees that Jay is unbalanced concern overtaking the anger that seems to linger in the Red Hood.

"I don't have to trust you," he knows that he is making Jason uncomfortable that he threw the entire situation into something different.

He grabs the gun taking his time disarming it.

"I could call Dick, he might kill you if I ask nicely enough or, I could yell for my super who has been listening since I let my heart race I don't have to fear you Jason."

Pushing him to the end of the roof which normally couldn't happen perks of being built like a fridge.

"I don't actually have to deal with you if I don't want to and putting you down would be so easy. Hold another gun to my head and it will be the last thing you do. I would love to see Outlaws versus Young Justice who do u think would win?"

He can't help the laughter as he walks away he does love his brother but he won't be a punching bag to a pissed off teenager who never got to read the end of Hamlet.

[ellana-ravenwood]

The Great Mall adventure -Bruce Wayne/Batfamily x Reader

Love the mall idea :-), and because I thought it might be redundant to write another story about shopping things, I joined two requests together, the mall thing, and @dannysanime​‘s request. Again, I feel like it’s “meh”, like I could write better...it’s really one of those months you know, Hope you guys will still like it : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_______________________________________________________________________

-Dick, I swear to the gods, if you do not make up your mind right now, we’re leaving you here. You’ll have to sleep in beds from Ikea, and rely on people’s charity to eat every day. We’ll come visit you sometimes though. 

Your husband laughed at your words, but immediately glared at some paparazzi taking pictures from a corner. Those people always thought they were so damn sneaky, while flashing you right in the face with their cameras. Idiots. Under the famous “bat-glare” (or “Wayne-glare” for that matter), the two paparazzis slowly backed away, but Bruce knew they’d come back. 

-But moooom ! How can I choose so fast ? I don’t know if I like the blue suit or the black suit, or the white and black, or the...

-So fast ? We’ve been here for three hours Dick ! 

-Mom, buying a suit is serious business, you can’t expect me to choose one in less than...five hours ! 

-Let’s just buy them all then ! So we’re finally done with it. I’m hungry. You know I get mean when I’m hungry boy. Especially in my current condition !!

Bruce smiled at you, and wrapped an arm around your waist, his free hand resting lightly on your swollen belly, and laid a kiss on your forehead. You calmed down a bit, but your other sons looked at Dick, a slight panic in their eyes. You were kinda mean when hungry normally, but now that you were pregnant and had to eat for two...they weren’t up for your constant sarcasms right now. Your oldest kid got the message, taking all of the suits he pre-selected in his arms. He stopped in front of his father, and Bruce slipped his debit card in his mouth (since his arms were full you know). 

-Heeeere we go, now come on every body, let’s go let’s go let’s go !

***********************

Whenever Bruce had a (rare) day off, you’d always make sure to get the entire family together, and do something, an activity of any sort. Spent the day with each other. Last time you went to the fair and had a blast. But today, you all needed new clothes for an important gala coming up, the children needed some supplies for school, and you decided that a day at the mall didn’t sound that bad. You usually had a fun time, dodging paparazzis, eating junk food, buying things you didn’t really need and would donate later on...It was just a fun and useful time together. 

Besides, you were now six months pregnant and you guys needed to buy everything for that new baby coming, as you never had one home...It was scary and exciting at the same time. But you and Bruce, and your children as a matter of fact, were ready to welcome this baby boy (yup, another boy...) into this world. 

So here you were, in the mall, and just as Alfred let you guys out of the car, the first flash from cameras happened. You got pretty good at ignoring them, so you just walked past the photographers as if they weren’t there. You had to stop Jason from flipping them off, but you were pretty sure you saw Bruce do it...He hated paparazzis with a passion. 

-Ok so, let’s start by buying the suits, if I know you guys well, it’s the thing that’ll take the longest. 

By “you guys”, you really meant “Dick”, as he was the slowest one. Damn he could be so annoying when shopping for clothes...

*********************

And sure enough, he took his damn time. When you saw him and almost thirty suits, you knew it was going to be long. 

You found your dress pretty fast, knowing what you wanted. It was one of those fancy clothes for pregnant woman, (your favorite color), and even with a swollen belly, you looked absolutely fantastic. Quite sexy. At least, that’s what Bruce thought. He bent down to whisper it in your hear and you couldn’t help but smile. His own smile was so bright and beautiful that you had to kiss him, and so you did. 

It always grossed your sons, but you and Bruce were so in love with each other that you could rarely keep your hands away from the other. You always had to touch in someway, and sometimes, you’d completely forgot that people were around you, and that you probably shouldn’t just make-out on the spot. 

Like right now. Tim and Damian nudging you in the ribs brought you back to reality. Jason and Dick were shielding you guys from paparazzis, and, a bit embarrassed, you both let go of each others. Or almost, as he kept your hand in his. 

Jason found an absolutely wonderful dark blue suit that made his eyes pop out. You thought he looked handsome, and wondered where the years went...it seemed only yesterday that this young nine year old boy came home with Bruce, and now, he was already nineteen. How the Hell did that happen ? 

Tim wanted to stay classic, and found a black tuxedo that fitted him perfectly. He looked like a young James Bond, and you were sure that he was going to break some hearts one day. One day because, he was too young to date. Come on, fifteen. No. When he was twenty maybe ? 

Damian opted for a very cute dark red three pieced suit. Oh my your baby looked so good in that ! “Baby”...You decided that, even when the actual baby would be born, you wouldn’t stop calling him that. They would all be forever your babies...No matter how much they hated the nickname. 

And Dick. Oh Dick. Bless that boy. He left with six different suits that he was able to narrow down from his thirty first choices...

Bruce found a black tuxedo too, understanding Tim and his “let’s stay classic and classy” idea. He looked as handsome as usual. That man could wear a burlap sack and still look good. And you knew you weren’t biased on that because he was the man you loved, everyone always thought he was damn good looking. Which never annoyed you, because you were the one with the ring. 

You looked at your husband for a minute, and just let out a contended sigh. Never in a million years would you have ever thought you’d be so happy one day. And yet, here you were, in front of the love of your life, with four wonderful children, and another one on the road...Perfect. Or almost perfect, you were getting hungry.

With a kiss to your Bruce while the children paid for the clothes, you went to the nearest fast food available. 

*********************

-No but for real Bruce, I love you, but you’re a freak. 

He sighed, again with that...Why did you thought it so weird that he ate his burgers with a knife and fork ? 

-Really ? We’ve been married for over ten years, and you’re still not use to it ? 

-I’ll never get used to it dear. For real. Ne-ver. I still think it’s quite sexy though...

You winked at him, and he couldn’t help but smile. 

-Oh yeah ? 

-Yes, but then again, you could do anything and I’d find you sexy. 

-That’s funny, you know why ? 

He scooted his chair closer to you, and one of his hand went to hover behind your neck, while the other took one of your hand and entwined his fingers with yours. You held your breath. 

-Why ?

-You could do anything and I’d want to make l...

-WOW WOW WOW TIME OUT, TIME OUT ! You guys. Every time. Every single time. 

You turned to your youngest son, Damian, a bit surprised. Again, you guys were just so in love that sometimes, you forgot your surroundings...

-You need help parents, really. 

-I kinda agree with Dam’s, it gets old this lovey dovey behavior...

-Yeaaah, I agree with Damian and Jason, sometimes, it’s a bit over the top you know ? You guys should try to get a bit less in love when in public. 

-I don’t agree with them. You bought me a cream colored suit. Nothing can be wrong with people who let me buy a cream colored suit.

For some reason, Dick’s words made you burst out laughing. Damn those boys, they always made you so happy. When your fit of laughter (that spread to all your family members) finally subsided, you managed to say : 

-Oh man, I love you guys, I love you so much. 

-We love you too mom. 

-Yup, love you from the Earth to the Moon, and back. 

-Love you like a hobbit loves his second breakfast ! 

-...Wait wait wait, I wasn’t ready, I don’t have...Hum...Oh well, no need for fancy words, I love you mothe...mommy. 

Did they really have to melt your heart like that ? ...You hugged them, and you all finished your food. When you started to go, Bruce grabbed you by the waist, letting the boys take a bit of advance on you guys. 

-I’m a bit jealous sweetheart. 

-Good. 

-That’s not nice. 

-I’m not a nice person. 

-That’s not true, you’re the best. 

-Cheesy fucker. 

-Only because of you. 

-I love you. 

-I love you too (Y/N). 

But before you could resume one of your heated kiss in front of people (because you know, the forgetting your surroundings thing), a flash blinded you, and Bruce turned around with the speed of a cheetah, to glare at the paparazzis from earlier. With a sigh, you took his hand in yours, and left for the baby section of the mall. 

********************

-Alright boys, you have the next few hours free, and your dad’s gold card. Don’t go too crazy, buy things you need and stuffs. No weird things, I’m talking to you Timothy Drake Wayne, do NOT buy another poisonous toad please. 

A bit pouty, Tim follows his brothers, and you hope to god that you won’t be called by mall security because they did something that got them in trouble...With a sign of your head to Dick, you signify to him to be the responsible adult he should be, and he nods with a smile. ...You hoped more than ever that they’ll behave. 

And it’s time. Time for the baby shopping. A bit excited, a bit scared, your hand in Bruce’s, fingers intwined, you enter the baby shop. 

Bruce looks around awkwardly, unsure of what to do, and you squeeze his hand. He turns to look at you : 

-Hum where...where do you want to start ? 

-I don’t know...I...I’m not sure...Furnitures ? Crib ? 

-Maybe we can ask someone ? 

-I think we should. 

And on that note, you approach an employe of the shop, and she...screech. Very loudly. Bruce grimace, and you can’t help but put your hands on your ears.

-Oh my god oh my god, O.M.G !!!!! I can’t believe it ! You’re the Waynes !! We were talking with my colleague about how lit it would be for you to come in our store for your future baby and...here you are !! 

You force a smile on your face, and Bruce decides to take advantage of his famousness, something he rarely did. He could see the two paparazzi that have been following all day in the corner of his eyes, and so he asked : 

-Yes, here we are. Do you think that, by any chance, we could...privatize the shop ? 

He points at the paparazzi, and the girl understands. She nods and goes to close the shop’s doors. 

-The shop is all yours Mr. and Mrs. Wayne. 

Bruce gives her a charming smile, and you can’t help but chuckle to yourself. Oh that man. The girl blushes a bit, and starts to help you navigate the shop. 

You buy an amazing crib and smile at the mere thought of your future son in it, you feel Bruce’s arm wrap around your waist, and bring you next to him. He kissed your forehead, and you were pretty sure you heard the employee trying to muffle her “aaaawwwww”, which makes you smile at her too. She blushes once again, and your husband chuckle. It always worked for both of you. You were just very attractive and charming people. 

You get some furniture to put the babies’ stuffs away. You buy cute lights to put in his room, and so many things...it’s overwhelming. You find the cutest teddy bear you ever seen. 

As you turn to Bruce during the shopping, all smiling and things, he can’t help but kiss you. He looks at you fondly, falling in love with you all over again. He can’t believe that in three short months, you’d give birth to his son, a child he’ll be able to see grow up. A child he could raised from the beginning. It made his heart beat wildly. 

You went to the clothe section, and a special item caught your eyes. You showed it to Bruce, who smiled. Of course you would. 

It was a cute onesie with the bat-symbol, and written “Batman to the rescue” on it. There was also a Nightwing one, and a Robin one. Hell there was even a Red Hood and Red Robin one ! Good, so that your sons won’t be jealous. You took one of each. And bought some other really beautiful clothes. There was a pyjama that looked like a suit, and you thought it was so funny that you bought it. 

You packed on pacifiers and other baby bottles, just to be sure...You pretty much bought everything in the store, afraid you’d forget something your baby will need. The girl thought you and Bruce were so damn cute, all worried about getting the right stuffs, and clearly super in love (as you sometimes just kissed each other in front of her, as if you forgot her presence). She was kinda completely jealous of you to be honest...

*********************

You finished your baby shopping, asking the employee of the shop to ship everything you bought to Wayne Mansion. A few days later, an gigantic truck would arrive at your house, and you’d think about how you might have been a bit overboard with your shoppings...

You met with the boys, who were so proud that hey only bought essentials. School supplies and...a shit tons of video games, DVDs, and candies. Of course. They warned their father that they also bought stuffs for some kids that were in it the stores that just sounded like they needed it, and their parents couldn’t afford the things. Nice boys. 

You went home with all your shoppings, joking on the way home, telling Alfred the story of your day at the mall. 

The next day, all the newspaper in Gotham read the headline : “The Waynes out on a great shopping mall adventures !” and you couldn’t help but cringe at those stupid articles titles. 

The pictures were great though. Hilarious even. In all of them, Bruce was glaring at the photographers, while the rest of you ignored them, and it was just the funniest thing ever. 

-For real dad, you should be used to it by now haha ! 

-Look hahahaha look at his face hahaha he’s like...Ebenezer Scrooge or something haha...

-Or the Grinch. “I’m never happy, I’m gonna be broody forever” hahaha. 

-I don’t sound like that !

-Oh but honey, you kinda do haha. Good one Dick. 

-Oh my god look at his face now haha, he’s soooo pissed. 

It went on for hours, you and your sons teasing Bruce. 

The only pictures where he didn’t look grumpy were the one where he kissed you...oops, never mind, even on one of those he had his eyes open and looked at the paparazzi taking the picture angrily. 

Ooooh Bruce. 

**********************

Three months later, the first pictures of Thomas Clark Wayne appeared in the paper, and this time, Bruce couldn’t look grumpy in any of the photos.