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the-californicationist · 2 months ago

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Cali's Kinktober: Day 03

Kinktober Masterlist in absentia lucis - "in the absence of light" John Price x f!reader Kinks > rape, torture, sensory deprivation Full tags on AO3 - MDNI - Read at your own risk.

You are a new recruit to the CIA, and Kate Laswell sends you to some remote blacksite for your interrogation training. Your temporary commander, Captain John Price, gives you a safeword, but as your training begins, you realize that you feel everything except for safe.

Hey, did you see where the tags said RAPE? Okay, just making sure.

It was three flights and a cab. It was airport food and cold coffee. It was forgetting whether the date ended in a three or a four. It was paperwork and passports and finally a cold office. It was a long trip, and you were running on empty.

“What are your expectations, here, Katie? I don’t wanna do another Warsaw situ–” The man complained.

“This is nothing like Warsaw. She can handle it. Trust me.” Your boss replied, her voice crackling over the video call.

The man who complained squared his jaw and fixed his eyes on you again, looking at you fresh now that your handler, Kate Laswell, had vouched for you. You tried not to fidget in your seat. You didn’t sit up any straighter. You weren’t here to advertise yourself as the bravest or the toughest of anything. You knew you still needed a lot of training, and if he wanted to draw his own conclusions about you, then that was his business, not yours.

“Her scores are high. She beat your exam?”

“She did. Her field test and her ‘chute certifications were performed at a DF site here in the states.”

There was a long pause before Laswell spoke again,

“Do me this favor and maybe I’ll even let you borrow her for a recon mission or two. I know none of your boys are pretty enough to pass for party girls, but mine is.”

“That she is,” you heard his tone darken, thickening in his mouth like sticky sap from a tree, borderline inappropriate. When he saw your reaction to his comment, he turned back to the screen and said, “Alright, Katie. You got a deal. I’ll send her back once she’s out of recovery.”

“Thanks, John. Don’t go easy on her, or she’ll make you pay for it.”

“Is that so?” His wry smile sent a jolt somewhere in your belly that you didn’t appreciate.

She laughed and hung up the call. You waited, trying not to let the jitters or the exhaustion win out, battling both but feeling pulled in either direction just the same.

“So,” he turned his attention to you at last, “Did you lay in your fuckin’ pink princess bed when you were a little girl and dream about becoming a bloody spy, or is this some sort of complex I should know about?”

You shrugged,

“A man does what he must…”

“Careful, girl. Quoting Kennedy can’t be good for your health if you’re working in Katie’s office, hm?”

“You don’t need to know why I’m here, sir.” You used his title like a knife, flashing it right in front of his eyes and watching them ignite with his smoldering, quiet fury.

“No, but I bet I’ll find out during our time together,” he promised, making your heart clench with stress and anxiety, “What’s your safeword?”

“Red.”

“Red,” he repeated it to you as if he wanted to see how it felt in his mouth. Then, after a long pause, he explained, “I will also stop before the point of emergent damage. But, I will push you past the point of pain. You will sustain injuries. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, love?”

He seemed to be under the misconception that this was your first rodeo. You knew what you had come here for, and it wasn’t some drill sergeant to yell you into shape. You had already been through Delta Force’s operator training center - the parts they allowed CIA operatives through, anyway - and you’d surpassed what Williamsburg had to offer. You were aiming to serve as a Special Skills operative, the blackest of the black ops groups, and although you lacked the physical strength to be of any use in most field positions, you had one key factor that your fellow recruits didn’t have.

Men never expected a woman to be a threat.

Laswell had plans for you. She’d tracked down two high value targets, but they were well-guarded. However, there were usually strippers and dancers and prostitutes as far as the eye could see, always partying and coming and going at all hours of the night. You were her way in. But, it was your job to get back out. If you could survive, you’d be a hero. If you didn’t, well, she had more pawns on the board. Not to mention, you had a mission of your own to complete..

So, you worked harder than anyone. You jumped at every field training exercise, you took martial arts classes in every different format you could find, and you lived at the shooting range. You didn’t have a social life. Usually, if you were alone in a room with a man, your fists were connecting with each other’s faces.

You looked back across the wooden desk in front of you, over his nameplate - Captain Price - and into his startlingly blue eyes,

“I understand.”

He came out of his chair like a fucking demon, lunging for you without warning. As you stumbled backward, wielding your own chair over your shoulder, you sighed inwardly. You’d at least expected a more civilized initiation, maybe even a moment for a coffee, before he started in on his training. But, alas, that was not to be.

You crashed the wooden chair against his head, neck, and shoulder as he rounded the desk, keeping hold of the broken armrest as a weapon. You stabbed downward, aiming for his throat and not holding back. He blocked you, cracking your wrist against the rigid wood. You stepped into his space, kicking his heel out from under him and following him to the floor. His head hit the concrete with a bang, and you used that moment to pin the armrest against his throat, bearing down on him with all your weight, dislodging his trachea enough to cut his air supply.

He flung you off of him like a ragdoll, and your back slammed into the leg of the desk. You twisted underneath it, staying just out of his reach, small enough to fit through the gap. He scrambled up on all fours, cackling at you with a gravelly, menacing laugh before leaping up and over the desk to pull you out by your ankles.

You kicked up and over, making contact with his nose, and when he dropped your other foot, you launched your heel into his balls, making sure to aim as deeply as you could.

He coughed, and it was your turn to laugh.

Your victory was short-lived. He launched his body at you, shoving your back down on the desk. You felt the familiar bite of his nameplate digging into your skull, so you dragged it out and swung it at him, cutting him across his cheek. He hissed, yanking it out of your hand and tossing it to the ground.

The captain forced himself between your legs, pressing his body down on yours, and wrapped his hand across your throat. You fought like hell to get him off, twisting his pinky until you thought it might break, but he caught your wrists in his other hand, holding them at a terrible angle, choking you until you saw rainbow spots discolor your vision.

“Well,” he said, breathless and bleeding, “Christmas came early, dinn’it?”

Just making sure you read the tag that said this fic has RAPE IN IT. I'm just checking in again. Just want you to know. Okay, thanks.

When you woke up, you weren’t completely sure of it, at first. It was as if you were still asleep. You opened your eyes, but all you saw was an endless blackness. You couldn’t hear anything, you couldn’t smell anything, and you couldn’t move your jaw. But you could feel everything.

Your whole body screamed in pain. One of your hands was wrenched above your head, and the weight of your body hung from your broken wrist, making you cry out in whatever muffled way you could.

Then, something was removed from your ears, and you could hear again. It was still quiet, but the sound of the aircon and the noise of another person’s breath were like blaring sirens compared to the silence you had been steeped in.

“Look who’s awake,” John’s purr of a voice washed over you.

You tried to reply, tried to beg for him to cut you down, but you couldn’t speak. Your mouth was holding something round and pliant.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he patted your flank, and you were suddenly aware of your nakedness. He’d taken your clothes? You could hear him scooting a metal chair across the room towards you, and his pants rustled as he sat down, “Can’t have you talkin’ your way out of this one. Based on the three stitches in my cheek, I was wrong to underestimate you, darlin’. Shoulda listened to Katie, this time. But, look at you. Just a whisper of a thing.”

His rolling chuckle made your bones itch.

“Hard to use a safeword when you’ve got a gag on, yeah?”

You nodded, acknowledging the irony.

Price moved in the chair again. No, he stood. You could hear his boots sliding around you in a half-circle. He kept talking to you, his tone as casual as ever,

“Yeah, thought so. But, this isn’t one of those trainings, pretty girl. You won’t be needing one. I will stop when you’re ready to stop, not when you want to stop. You need to learn that, sometimes, your body…” His hand snaked its way around your thigh and you tried to kick out at him, discovering your ankles were tied together and anchored to the floor, “... is capable of so much more than you give it credit for.”

Your heart began to slam against your chest, and your breathing became labored. You were having a panic attack. If you could only see…

“Hey,” his tone shifted, becoming the instructor again, “Breathe slowly. In. Hold it. Out. All the way. In. Out. Tha’s it. Good.”

There was a long pause. You could smell him now. It was cigars and fire and gunpowder and smoke. It filled your senses, replacing your sight with scent.

“I’m gonna put your ears back on, and we’ll see what you can do.”

The world fell away again, and all you had was the smell of him. Then, he started his training.

It wasn’t the pain that upset you, not really. Pain was something you could move past. It was the surprise. You never knew when it was coming, nor where he was going to hit you next. Sometimes it was his fist. Sometimes it was a belt. Sometimes it was an electric shock. Legs, ribs, foot, arm, neck, belly… there was no pattern.

You also had no idea of the passage of time. You were infinite and you existed in the darkness of infinity. It was just pain forever with no reprieve.

Until it wasn’t.

The first time you felt his fingers pinching the tender peaks of your breasts, your whole body jolted. You hadn’t really responded to the pain in the same way, but to pleasure? It was unexpected in a different way. You didn’t think he would violate you. That wasn’t even something they’d tried to do when you were with the DF.

You bucked, hoping that your displeasure was noted for the record.

But, perhaps, your mind teased you, the lady doth protest too much? You had wanted him to touch you when he’d picked you up from the airport. When he shook your hand, hadn’t you measured his fingers and started wanting? Weren’t you eager for training to be over so you could be invited back to his flat for the after-work romp you knew would be on offer?

Hanging there like a slab of meat had changed things a bit, but it had not quelled your desire, unfortunately.

You wondered if he had reacted. You imagined him laughing at you. Was he enjoying himself? Or was this all apart of his brand of training?

I bet you choke out all the pretty girls… you sneered inwardly.

More pain. This time, your ass cheeks were the targets. The snapping bite of what felt like a belt hit you repeatedly and without mercy. You found yourself breathless from silently screaming, your tongue pressing against the gag for some sort of relief and finding none.

Then, pleasure again. His thick fingers fondled your pussy from behind, digging into your flesh and discovering the wetness hidden inside of your unused hole. There was no romance to his movements, but forcing an orgasm from you did seem to be his goal. And fuck, you lamented, he was good at it.

He doubled up, twisting two fingers deep inside of you, pounding them into your body all the way to the knuckle, fast and hard, dragging you towards the edge. Your legs began to tremble, and you knew your face must’ve looked a mess, because you were in total shock.

It felt like he was going to vibrate you right out of your skin, and still he moved faster. He wrapped his other hand around your belly, holding you in place, and you thrashed against it, fighting the mounting urge to come.

You were doing pretty well, you thought, given the conditions. Until…

His soft lips pressed themselves down onto your spine. It was just a chaste kiss, but it unfurled you like a ripcord. You exploded, your whole body convulsing in bliss, and although you were wearing a blindfold, you could see white streaks and stars dancing across your vision. You came alive.

Price pulled out of you, and you felt the stream of slick drip down your legs. He’d forced you to squirt, something you thought was completely faked, only for pornos. But, there it was, proof of its reality smearing down your thighs and onto the concrete floor.

Pain, again.

The searing sting of a taser in the sensitive flesh of your belly.

Fists and harsh palms.

The bite of a chain.

A sharp ache from a needle or a knife.

His fist closing around your index finger and snapping it cleanly in two.

You wanted to puke, but there was nothing to come up. Your belly bulged and hollowed, letting you gag and choke around nothing, going through the motions and yet giving you nothing to move.

Then, pleasure.

His hands were back on your pussy, finding your clit and teasing you until you jerked forward. But, his hand remained, insisting. And insisting. And insisting.

You lost track of how many times you’d toppled over the edge of your orgasm. There were no borders, not anymore. Your pleasure was bleeding and smearing all around you in one great wave, blinding you to the starts and stops from coming and not. You were drowning in it.

Just when you thought you might pass out, you felt the prod of his prick between your legs, entering you from behind. You couldn’t feel a condom. You tried to twist yourself away, rocking your hips to no avail.

This was definitely not protocol.

Those lips returned to the same spot on your spine, and you melted onto him, covering him like hot wax, sealing your body onto his cock like a brass signet, letting him leave his mark on you.

His hands found your breasts, squeezing them roughly, holding your body to him in a vicious embrace.

Then, he dug around inside of your mouth and yanked out the gag. You felt yourself make a terrible noise, but you couldn’t hear the sound that came out. You knew he could, though, because when he heard you, his cock throbbed at your entrance, and it made him push forward, dipping into you even deeper.

Wait… Captain Price. Please. Wait. Wait.

You wondered if you were as loud as you tried to be. In fact, you wondered if he could hear you at all because he did not stop. If anything, he went onward with even more fervor.

His mouth kissed its way across your back, and you could feel his stubble and the coarse hairs of his beard raking their way along your skin. His warm tongue leaving little wet stamps as it laved across you, tasting your sweat.

The way his fat prick was stretching you out made you question if he was using himself or the armrest of the chair that you had tried to kill him with. You hissed from the ache, but he didn’t halt his advance. Didn’t retreat. He just pressed further inside of you.

How much cock did this jerk have?

Finally, you felt his hairy base tickle the skin under your ass cheeks, and you knew there was an end to his incredible length.

What… why are you doing this? Why…

He pulled himself out in the same way he had pressed in, slowly and with a fierce persistence.

Then, he began to pound himself into you.

You were at the perfect height for him, and it made you sick to your stomach to know that it was deliberate. This had been his plan all along. And although most of you felt completely indignant, there was a nasty little demon in your heart that celebrated in it. He’d wanted you from the start, even after you’d made him bleed, maybe even because of it.

And that thought brought you no small amount of joy.

His hands had returned to your breasts, playing with them too roughly. John was pinching your nipples and craning his neck around to suckle from them, nipping at them with his teeth until you screamed from the pain of being bitten. Even then, your screams were a poor deterrent. It didn’t stop him from returning to them, crushing the stiff tips as he worked his cock inside of you, fucking himself up into you at a punishing pace.

He only pulled away to stick his tongue inside of your armpit, licking you over and over in a place where no one had ever even thought to lick, and you wished you could say, honestly, that it had disgusted you. But, it didn’t. If anything, it made you gasp with a new brand of pleasure. He had awakened something fresh and bright in you that you never meant to discover.

Then, he got brave. He shoved two fingers right into your slack mouth, and you immediately bit down, hard. You could taste blood, and you fought against his flesh, trying to crack the bone. But, he shoved them down your throat, and all you had to chew on was a fat fist that wouldn’t even allow your jaw to close much less to bite.

You could feel his fingers in your throat, deep down in a place where fingers were never supposed to go, and all you could do was swallow around them, trying your best to keep from drooling into your airway.

His cheek pressed into your shoulder blade. He was enjoying you.

The way his gentle kiss or the softness of his cheek ripped orgasms from you was concerning, to say the least. You hoped you could remember this moment, of how the way he rested himself against you as he was taking you against your vocal will was throwing your body down a deep well of dark, forbidden pleasure. How your vision burned white and gold and formed spots of colors that had no names as he fucked you into a different plane of existence. How you thought, if you got a late night text, written in his smoky, raspy Scouse accent, you would crawl your way back across the pond just so he could give it to you again.

Oh, my God… You screamed from the pit of your belly.

His thrusts never slowed. He was like a machine. All those muscles were being put to work, and you were the mission.

Had it been hours?

Days?

Did the world still exist outside of this concrete cube that you suspected you were in?

Would you starve to death in here?

The demon that apparently lived in your cunt rolled its eyes and said, who cares? I wanna come again and again and again…

And you did. You were so overstimulated that you thought even someone looking at you the right way would make you come. It had become painful, at one point, and now you were not numb… Numb wasn’t the right word. You were soft. Your mind and your pussy were just murky, oily, cock-filled vessels, happy they were full and unwilling to question what it meant.

When he finally pulled out of you, you were limp. You didn’t thrash or fight. You couldn’t, even if you wanted to.

You felt his fingers again, drawing out your foaming, frothy come into his hand. He used it to smear it along the rim of your asshole. Then, he began to fuck your tight hole with his fingers, one. Over and over. One. One. One. Then, he added a second. Two. Two. A thousand times, two. Three was a bit of a challenge, but he pushed through. Three. Two. Three. Two. Three. Three. Three. And then, none.

None.

Where did he go?

Pain. A heavy hand slapping across your bruised tits. Again. Again.

You were screaming, surely. You wanted to be, at least.

The flat of his palm beat itself against your breast over and over without mercy.

Then, his cockhead rested at the entrance of your asshole.

You didn’t beg this time. If anything, he should be the one begging, you thought. If you lived, you were going to make him remember you.

Price shoved himself inside of you with some force, but you took it. You waited until he was fully sheathed inside, and when he took a breath, when those lips rested themselves on the back of your neck, you beared down on him, hard.

You felt his breath catch as it skittered across your skin.

The demon in you chuckled in triumph.

C’mon, Captain. Is that all you got? You made the words come out of your throat, and you hoped he could hear you.

The way that his hand fisted itself in your hair told you that he had.

If you thought he had fucked your pussy like an animal, you had been mistaken. He took your ass like he owned it. Like it was his toy. There was no pleasure-seeking rhythm, no careful pacing or grinding movements. He was fucking you because he wanted to come. So, you made him.

Every time he dragged himself out, you let him go, but every time he pressed himself in, you fought him the whole way. Squeezing and pushing, squeezing and pushing, making your tight hole even tighter, rocking your hips to drive him mad with want.

You felt him lose control, his hot spend filling your ass and bursting out of his swollen head, soaking your hole. You pulsed around him, and you felt that soft cheek return to your shoulder.

Come for me, baby. Good boy. You giggled out loud.

He slapped you across the mouth, and you laughed harder, feeling his cock slip out of you, spent.

You can’t hurt me in a way that matters, John Price. Do your fuckin’ worst.

You felt him step around you, smelling his breath as he held you face to face. Then, the noise of the room came back and you could hear him panting, ragged and desperate. You felt the blindfold fall away and you could see him, your eyes shrinking in the dim light of the cell, hurt by even the smallest glow of light.

You were back, but you were not yourself. Not anymore. You were a different you. Someone he had made. He had crafted you with his own hands.

“Why? Why didn’t you beg me to stop?”

His eyes were burning into yours as he stared down at you, questioning what he had done, what you had done with him. You had used him like a sharpener, honing yourself to a high shine, and he didn’t understand.

When you heard your voice for the first time, you mourned it a bit, but you knew it would come back eventually. It was raspy, muddled, and barely audible, but you said it with your whole chest,

“I was made for this, and I could go all fuckin’ day.”

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long did he keep you prisoner?”

Kate Laswell, you fucking bitch.

He’d read your file. The real one. Not the one on your tagline, but the one that you and Laswell had hidden away.

“Five months,” you told him, a sick smile on your face, “But, you already knew that.”

He sighed, his hands on his hips, just as naked as you, which you found a little funny.

“Why’d you come here? Why would she…”

You watched him wrestle with the betrayal in his head, knowing he’d been manipulated. He’d walked right into her trap. You basked in his confusion, having almost as much fun as you’d had while he was railing you into oblivion.

“Laswell said you needed a way into the Ikon, some strip club on the border between Russia and Urzikstan. So, I said I would help.”

“And she knew I’d say no…”

“Unless you knew I could handle it.”

It was his turn to be in pain. You could see the fire of it creeping through his belly, knowing he’d just tortured a girl who’d written the book in torture. The surgeries and the psych consults were long, long behind you, but your run in with the Russian mob was not something you were ever going to forget. But, now, John Price was going to give you a chance at revenge. You were his gun, and you just needed him to point you in the right direction.

Suddenly, he cut you down, freeing you from your hanging place. You crumpled into his arms, letting him hold you as you collapsed. You used your hands to pet the worry out of his eyes, and he fought you for it, trying to stop you from comforting him. So, you grabbed him with what little strength you could muster, and you pulled his face to yours, pressing your mouths together, making him taste your blood from where he had cut your cheek against your teeth. He yanked his head back, furrowing his brow,

“No, stop…”

“Shut up,” you said, kissing him again and feeling his surrender as he held you tighter, pulling you into his chest even though he was ridden with guilt.

“We shouldn’t, love. I’m so sor–”

“Where’d you put that gag?” You pretended to look around for it, earning a slight smile and an exasperated huff.

You knew you’d made the cut, because when he fucked you this time, he didn’t hold back.

Whelp. Kinktober!

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tmntaucompetition · 10 months ago

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List of all AUs that got into the preliminary round!!

Snapdragon - bluesgras

But First They Must Catch You - mudlarkspur (+ao3)

Sorry I’m Late - GeminiForest

Lone Turtle and Hunter - midnightcreator12 (+ao3)

Happily Ever After - Phykoha

Kendratello Childhood AU - zeawesomeness

The Mutation Situation - Indieyuuugre

Quilt AU - Cokowee

I’m sorry teenage mutant what now? - tangledinink

Good Genes - lordshroom

Twin-Sync (More than you Think) - little-banjo-frog

Mama’s Boys - honey_rye

Warrior’s Heart - peanutrat20

Rabbit’s Broach - pigeonsgrame2

UPRISING: A Rise Dystopia AU - alexthenerdbird

Down with the Stockholm - devotedtosadpoetry

Broken Trifecta - genderfluid-envy

TMNT Chicago Style - its-captain-sir

Tiz Sep AU - Tizline

Please Don’t Leave I Need You - TownFowl (ao3)

Sewer Punks - kettle-bird

Grown Apart - Chiscribbs

Leaves from the Vine - Cheetochild989

TMNT Shen and the League of Lesbians - genderfluid-envy

The Unicorn paradox - Mushangaa

Snapper Lou AU - Kittynomore

Sep Leo AU - dianagj-art

The Rise Hunger Games AU - daboyau

Honor Bound - terrazooid

Universes - XxLea_nardoxX

Minecraft Isekai - Songdrop/Caleb at calebscornerofart

Raised by the Capybara AU - Rubies-tmnt-aus

Dee-Evolution AU - cnwolf-brainrot

Welcome to Mutinis - mutiniau

Portal Baby - QuarterGremlins

Wouldn’t It Be Easier - 14Muffinz (+ao3)

Twinpathy - twinpathy

Live Life - centerofleesmind

August’s AU - star-sparkler

No Fun in Fungus - boots-with-the-fur-club

At my Worst - teainthesnow (+ao3)

Ktech - dontfindmeimscared

Camp Hamato - P0t3n1al

Even more of a Disaster - 3lectricinsomnia and teaableu (main blog evenmoreofadisaster)

No Crime only Brooches - Olliethescribe (+ao3)

DNAngel - blye-flower

Finding home - sad-leon

Causa scienta - urlocalllama (ao3)

TMNT 04 - koolaidashley

Is this right? - cruitly-ink

Turtles all the way down - pommigranite

Firefight au - remedyturtles (remrose - ao3)

Death wish - remedyturtles (remrose - ao3)

Ghost AU - Melliedoodles

Mama’s Wishes - Bucketofbugz

Forgive Me - reagi-df

Eclipse - G0LD_Tea (Twitter)

Magic AU - vaudeville-moggie

Mitosis - Varian_dislikes_cheese (ao3)

Vengeance is yours - that-one-dork (+ao3)

The likeness of mirrored souls - enthblaze and omgselinabeckendorf

The employees - theemployees

Hello, Clairvoyant? - cogentsummonor (ao3)

Sidelined au - Dandylovesturtles

100 feet and a world away - Dandylovesturtles

Villain leo - Villianleoau

Bloom from oblivion - Aliteraladhdmess

Soulmates (evil) - error-core-animations (Oofiescreams - ao3)

The somber sunrise - Mocha_Mochaccino (ao3)

Snapdonnie - onejellyfishplease

Ōnryo leo - aquariumgirls (ao3)

Lost in the pink mist - lost-in-the-pink-mist

The Lonely Buzz in Blue - overthinkingbluesparks (+ao3)

The Blood Orange Multiverse - Jade-Clementine (Mylenapony11 + Cherry-blossom-consumer)

Teenage turtle ninja mutants - idiot-mushroom

Revelations Timeline AU - idk_im_just_here_now (ao3)

Two Souls - virgilsspidey (+ao3)

(Please let me know if there’s a duplicate or a creator spelled wrong!)

#mod shadow says #tmnt au bracket #I guess yet again

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gorgeouslypink · 10 months ago

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hey pink! I'm so happy, I've finally reached the void state and manifested and it's all thanks to you and @thedoona.

before I get into it, I was able to get into the void state for a few seconds prior to my success so that really boosted my confidence and faith.

my method:

i decided upon the lucid dreaming method. it just seemed the best way. but first i needed to learn to lucid dream. the void community loves fild and ssild but if i tried to do fild or something it would never work so i had to do other things.

#1: reality checks every hour

#2: go to sleep affirming i will get a lucid dream and enter the void

#3: wake up in the 4.5 hours afterwards, rmbr my dream and type it out on my phone notes, then stay up for a bit and then go back to sleep repeating the same affirmation

during the day, I did a meditation a day. I read that maintaining awareness in meditation helps you become aware in your dream and tbh I'm not the best meditator but I put it on my to do list everyday to meditate and I chose a video and would try it.

also I listened to subliminals, I used that apold subconcious file from your challenge and listened to these 3 subs for 30 minutes:

https://youtu.be/HMmycC8BRfk?si=AC29Y8uKna0qkaO4

https://youtu.be/uGLHAp1dDx4?si=K_2gcln0vZ4cSA1X

https://youtu.be/O7rhQq3YGME?si=b-yjxX8sm7FDbWVH

And this sub for 1-2 hour:

https://youtu.be/OlHUujYD9wI?si=6KK8jsyeQ_0H9_t6

i did this since Jan 27th and last night, not only did I get lucid dream but also I first just affirmed a bunch of stuff like I am going to enter the void, the void is easy, I am guaranteed to enter the void because I heard sometimes when people close their eyes during lucid dream they end up waking up so I was scared that happen to me so I affirmed for a bit and then I closed.my eyes and began meditating and almost instantly like in maybe 10 to 20 seconds I was in the void. I knew it because it was expansive and still and then I just affirmed for my void list to.come true and when I awoke this morning, I had everything.

I knew from the second I woke up because I have pretty bad body acne and I manifested all of that away. I manifested df and db and it feels so weird rn but ik I'll get used to it. I also manifested good grades, good friends, etc

I really wanted to thank you and thedoona and I'm so excited to go be living my dream life now!! Bye bye pink I will always remember and treasure you ❤️

Sorry for late response and congratulations love!! Have fun living your dream life, you deserve it! 💖

#void state #void success

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pinkieribbons · 2 months ago

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Some of my fav mods that I use in my game ♰౨ৎ

1. Cas backgrounds ౨ৎ: 📜🍀 Medieval CAS Backgrounds 🍀📜, “Black Rose” cas background, grunge - default cas background, Sanrio theme casbackground, Gyaru BB 🦴 ✦ ⁺ ｡ CasBG Recolor 🍓 ♡,[devilsfang] 2.5k+ follow gifts - cas backgrounds DF GK, Crcoco - 糯米团子cas背景, ACGN Casbackground, nuwmie - blue hour cas background, cottage room cas background.

2. Lighting mod ౨ৎ: GENTLE CAS LIGHTING MOD

3. Stand still in cas ౨ৎ: [秋风厌凡]StandStillCAS, Stand Still in CAS

4. Fav presets ౨ৎ: Dogangje Face Shape Preset, Dogangje 2023 New and Original 48 Nose Presets for Boys and Girls, yit Manga FM Body Preset, FY presets, 👉jiumiQAQ Jaw Preset👈, 001-010(10 models)

5. Sliders ౨ৎ: Chin slider (remake), More sliders for the face!, eye size slider + head size slider, The Perfect Doll Sliders, Hip Shape Slider, Leg length or hips height slider, DEFAULT MOUTH SLIDER, DEFAULT BROWS SLIDER, Shoulder Height slider / male + female versions, Height Slider, Perfect neck slider

6. Gshade presets ౨ৎ: moonbloom reshade preset ✧˖*°࿐, umaga reshade preset

7. Skins and skin details ౨ৎ: 【A】Eyebag-4, Kokoro Skin, 🖤【333】Sumi-Skin, ❄️ COLLECTION of GENETICS NOVEMBER 2023 ❄️, [333] - Jelly-Skin, 🌸 SAKURA COLLECTION: 2 NEW SKINS & OVERLAYS + base sims 🌸, ✩ FEMALE NEW YEAR COLLECTION ✩, SKIN N25 OVERLAY, MM 3D EYELASHES, BODY BLUSH, 【A】 Mouth Details-1, 【Kuromitty】Big eyebag, JIUJIANWU - NINA SKIN, 333 Stone Skin BAG, Lolly Skinblend (FaceSkin)

8. Eyes ౨ৎ: YUNSEOL eyecolor 05, EYES N3, Final Fantasy VII Remake Contacts Collection, (maya)star eyes, Crcoco - ��珠-千禧星星眼, 【cloop】eyes13-24, 【cloop】eyes01-12

Crcoco-- (1), MMSIMS Eyes Jade, FROKNEREEZ X ROTTEN-EYED COLLAB HALLOWEEN 2018 SET, ozii_eyes_03

9. Ui mods ౨ৎ: The Sims 2 inspired UI for The Sims 4, Pastel Pink UI, 小熊Sims - UI Life Mode UI Border - Pink Plaid

10. Font override ౨ৎ: "rainy hearts" font replacement 🌧️

11. cursor override ౨ৎ: BearSims - AngelHeart Cursor Replacer

12. wrench override ౨ৎ: my sweet piano cc wrench ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

13. tidy cas ౨ৎ: CAS Organisers II🩷 (my sweet piano)

Fav creators ౨ৎ (not in order): atiys, san33, zao, atomiclight, newsea, lin dian, dogangje, sushi77, ohmybunny, KkmiSims4, mayasims, Simsonico, seoulsoul, kikiw, darkwaifu, usamarusims, Korkassims, cosplaysimmer, 317wounds, kaguya fox, pox, cheryl, Learxfl, vyxated, gigglecoffin, 1-800-CUUPID, Pox, ozii, ect.

There are wayyyy more mods I'd love to include on this list, sadly I can't fit everything. But these are my main/favorites.

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eustasskidagenda · 1 year ago

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First of all I really really really love ur writing

Can I request a fem reader dating law and they are like sleeping and law starts to have a really bad nightmare where he is hurting his s/or while sleeping? Like ALOT and she tries to walk him up but when she succeeded he already damaged her so much by accident? So he has her blood on his hands and stuff but he wakes up and he doesn't realise it so she just says u had a nightmare and tried to put him back to sleep while she is in pain

And she waits for him to sleep again to go out and treat her wounds BSc she doesn't want him to feel bad for hurting her

But while she is gone he walks up and the bed is empty and there's blood on him and the sheets so he gets out to search for her in panic and gets mad and feels bad etc

Angst angst angst tk fluff please

I love u so much

Hi sweetie! Tysm for your kind words! I love writing angst, but this one was quite a challenge, I had some struggles figuring out some things. But I hope the outcome will still match your expectations! And sorry it takes me some time for this one, I injured my back lately, I can't write for a long time. Anyway, tysm for requesting. ☆

☆Law having a nightmare where he's hurting his s/o

CW : f!reader, angst, hurt to comfort, blood, mention of bullet, spoiler if you haven't read/watched Law's flashback yet, violence, usage of DF

WC : 1,9k

Low, peaceful breaths. Legs entwined. Your head resting against Law’s tattooed chest and the silence of the cold, starry night. What a rare and beautiful moment. Law often can't sleep. The second you fall asleep, he usually just sighs and sneaks out of the bed. But tonight, his nightmares remained trapped under the pillows, not in his mind. He is beautiful when he can finally be at peace. The tired and dark expression on his face has been gone for a few hours. In his sleep, he looks for your warm touch. Maybe his body is always cold, as his heart is always kept in a cage, but your body is keeping him just warm. That's what you're in his tortured mind; solar.

He always finds solace in it.

Dark shadows. Screams of pain. Corazon falling on the ground. Bullet sound.

The night was supposed to be peaceful. It was peaceful just a second ago! Why are those memories haunting his mind again? What has he done to always be harassed with the same dark thoughts?

Scream. Corazon. Bullet. Scream. Corazon. Bullet. Again and again and again and a… it's endless. Trapped in his own mind, the world around him just disappears. It's just him, facing the ghosts of his past. That's what he gets for daring to fall asleep. How foolish he was to think that his nightmares would leave him alone, just for a few hours.

The shadows are following him in his gloomy, dark world. Why are they trying to kill him? He's not sick anymore. Corazon saved him. He has the right to live. Suddenly, an invisible hand grabs him and squeezes his throat. Tightly. Squirming on the bed, fighting against his own demons, Law breathes harshly. The real world is far away from his nightmares. All he can think about is this hand squeezing his throat. He can't even breathe anymore. But he can't die. Corazon saved his life. He died. Killed by his own brother.

Now, Law has to survive. That's his legacy. The Heart Pirates will beat loudly, etched in memories forever.

The shadows disappear suddenly, just as the squeezing sensation in his throat. A laugh echoes close to his ear. A large figure hovers over him. Pink feather coat, sunglasses, short blond hair, and big, fidgety hands, ready to steal his life again.

It's him.

Doflamingo.

He wants to kill him and steal his fruit. The one that Corazon robbed. No. Law won't let that bastard destroy the sacrifice made by Corazon. Law ferociously punches that damned heavenly demon right in its nose. Maybe he's a doctor, but he can't let this man live.

All he wants is to make him suffer.

To make him pay.

So he punches. Again and again. The only thing he can hear is Doflamingo laughing, as he always does, with his sinister, cold grin. "Just die," he shouts, his voice thick with anger and distress. The reality has vanished in his world of suffering. So he fights back. Harder.

"Law, wake up!" Why the hell is Doflamingo talking with your voice? Is this a fresh trap? This man is the master of manipulation. He can't be tricked again. "Law, please wake up and stay with me!" That soothing hand on his cheek is so soothing. Heavenly soft. Sweat drips down his forehead as he breathes harshly.

Doflamingo's silhouette fades away as soon as he opens his eyes. "Y/n-ya?" He tries to reach for your cheek in the dark bedroom. That touch, that skin, that warmth. So it's really you. "What happened?" He asks, his voice slightly shaky. He tries to regain his composure, breathing harshly, his heart racing crazily in his chest. "Nothing. You just had a nightmares."

Law notices a slight tremolo in your voice. "You're alright?" You just run your hand on his cheek. "Why are you asking me this? You're the one in pain. Just go back to sleep. I'm here. Nothing will happen. You're safe in this room." No, but that was too realistic. And he can't fall asleep right away. Not with a heart beating so loudly. Not with the rush of adrenaline. "Law, you have a lot of work tomorrow. Just try to sleep."

He tried to sleep so many times. It was never successful. However, he lies back as you gently push him against the mattress with your hands on his chest. You gently rub your thumb against his sweaty forehead. With his jaw tensed, Law obeys and closes his eyes, doing as you say. But those dark memories are etched in his eyes. Whenever he tries to sleep, the figure of Doflamingo is painfully present.

Bullet. Corazon. Sick people crying and begging for mercy. Again and again.

"Just sleep." You whisper, focused on him, only him, despite your own state of distress. You just hope he didn't notice the blood on his hands. The one that flows down your injured nose. It hurts. Mentally and physically. It's difficult to see him so tormented by his own thoughts. You can't let him see what he has done to you; he kicks you and almost strangles you. It wasn't him, right? Law would never lend a hand to you. He would never forgive himself if he found out. You have to preserve him. So you stay. Reassuring him until he finally closes his eyes, too exhausted to stay awake.

But a few minutes later, he wakes up, his body cold just as your side of the bed.

"Y/n-ya?" Where have you gone? Why did you leave him alone? Law grabs the candle lamp and the bedroom is lit by a dim light. There's blood on the bed. He doesn't panic at first. But he's confused because he knows your cycle perfectly, you are not supposed to be on your periods. Afterward, he glances downwards.

Blood. On his hands.

"Y/n-ya?" He suddenly stands out and looks for you. The Polar Tang is not that big. At last, he finds you in the small bathroom, with a cloth on your injured nose. Law looks at his hands, then at your body. There's slight bruises on your skin. That skin he cherishes so much. "What happened?" He already knows the answer, yet he's hoping for a different outcome. "I just hit my nose by accident, don't you worry."

You're really a bad liar.

And then, he understands. That wasn't Doflamingo, but you all the time. At first, he can't even speak. He remains there, his mouth partially open and his eyes filled with guilt. As a doctor, he promised to himself to always protect the innocent. His hands exist to heal. Not hurt. Especially not you. You are his precious girlfriend, the one who takes care of him. What have he done to you? Maybe it was a nightmare, maybe it wasn't him, but the outcome is the same. You're in pain because of him.

"I…" he wants to soothe your pain, but he steps back. What if he harm you again? He glances again at his shaky hands. There's blood on his tattooed fingers. He is disgusted by that sight. "Why didn't you tell me?" He wants to scream, to break something, but he's too confused by the red liquid on his tan skin. He reaches for the washstand and cleans his hands, watching the red turn pink. "You were already in pain" you whisper. "Damn, y/n-ya, look at you! You're bleeding because of me. I…" He struggles to speak in a clear manner. Law has always been logical, but right now he's acting impulsively and emotionally. "I'm so sorry…" tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. "Please… let me… help you…" he's afraid of frightening you. But you just nod and stop to hold the cloth against your nose.

Law kneels in front of you, looking at your red skin, slight bruises here and there, slightly swollen lips, and broken nose. His hands are trembling. "Shit," he whispers to himself. He tries to inhale deeply. He needs to calm down before he can heal you. And right now, you really need some assistance. "Law, it's alright…"

Of course, no, it's not okay! "You're in pain because of me, it's not alright!" Law utilizes his devil fruit to cure your broken nose. Gently, he forces you to throw your head back until the bleeding stops. "Wait a second," he whispers before reaching for a wet cloth. After removing all of the dry blood from your face, Law sighs, sits on the ground and remains silent.

The guilt is harassing his poor mind. Now, when he closes his eyes, there's Doflamingo, Corazon, and his hands are full of your blood. This thought will never leave him alone.

He's so unworthy. Despite his efforts, he still fails. Over and over. He failed to save his family. He failed to save Corazon. He failed. Again, and again.

Failure.

"Law, don't overthink, I'm alright." You whisper and wrap your arms around him. Such an irony. You're the one in pain, but you're soothing him by gently running your hands through his hair. "I'm sorry," he repeats once more. "Law, just listen to me… it wasn't you"

Perhaps, but it was his hands that did it anyway. Exhausted, tired and guilty, Law has lost all of his usual cold expressions. He never looked that fragile, human. You kiss him softly and lovely. Law struggles to kiss you back. He refuses to touch you because he fears hurting you again. "It's okay, I'm not mad at you. I still love you. We'll get through it." Nervously, he bites his lips. "Are you still in pain?" His eyes are begging you to tell the truth. "I'm not, thanks to you." He exhales with relief.

"You have to rest. Can you walk?" Even if you nod, Law carries you through the bedroom. He grits his teeth as he sees the blood on the bedsheets. "Wait" He just takes them off and redo the bed with fresh bedsheets. "Now, you can rest."

While you lay on your bed, Law begins to back away, ready to run to his desk. Nevertheless, you grasp his hand. "Don't run away." You understand that he's simply trying to avoid you. An aloof person like him just doesn't know how to deal with that kind of thoughts. "… Y/n-ya" with a sigh, he complies. That's the least he can do. Law flinches as you lean your head against his tattooed chest, feeling tense and nervous. I have already forgiven you, Law. You have to forgive yourself."

He simply mumbles. Of course, his tortured mind will never process that quickly. Fine. You'll wait. And you'll stay by his side. You will be the guardian of his peaceful nights. Slowly, you fall right back asleep. Law doesn't shut his eyes, not even for a moment. He stays here until sunrise and finally warms your face. When you wake up, he already left. But there's a fresh drink, some pills, and something to eat on the nightstand. And a short note.

'Please, come find me if you need something. And rest'

Law is always busy all the day and almost all of the night. And then, he just allows you to 'disturb' him whenever you need him. You can't help but smile. For someone like Law, it's like reading 'I love you'

Of course he loves you.

After all, he is the captain of the Heart Pirates.

#one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #one piece requests #law headcanons #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #heart pirates #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law headcanons #trafalgar d law x you #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law x you #law one piece

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kingsandbastardz · 6 months ago

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So I may have become a little obsessed lately with comparing the stuff that made it into the drama vs what was cut - a lot of things in dramas get censored out but sometimes they will still get released or leaked either via promo materials or fan photography.

The footage above is fan footage of the scene where DFS confronts LLH immediately after being cleared of Asura grass and llh tries to run off. Below are images of the expressions that do make it into the drama which are fascinatingly... different? And far less animated. These expressions are what you get because they chose to have CY be far more frozen appearing vs what was in the footage above, where he's still able to move his head a bit. I just particularly like this clip because it's one of the only bts examples from CY I've seen of the 'over affectionate eyes' that I heard the director kept telling them to dial back on. Also just where are you looking, llh?

Below is promo photo from Xiao Shunyao Studios' weibo that is also seen used by iQiyi. It's DSF tortured and in the hot bath and he's talking to LLH.

This expression....

This loving expression does not make it into the drama at all. LMAO

I can't even guess where it would fit into it with the lines we're given -- was dialog cut? I have no idea. The closest is his sort of mixed-emotion, exhausted expression he has when saying "You're saving me unconditionally" but the vibe there is not the same as the one above.

And this last bit with the snow and rose petals during one of the bts videos - Cheng Yi narrates, saying something about how A'Fei "is also good at setting a romantic atmosphere!"

Except this is the deleted footage of DFS searching for LLH during the 3 months of the special episode. Reportedly not included due to his eyes/gaze being, again, too... something.

As if the snow wasn't romantic enough (Something something that old saying about white snow representing growing old together with your loved one), there's also pink rose petals. Both would be a lot already when taken individually - but they have BOTH flying across the screen. While the bereaved widow dfs wanders the street mournfully in search.

(Now I have to see if there are similar things happening with other characters as I rewatch lmao)

#mysterious lotus casebook #di feisheng #xiao shunyao #li lianhua #behind the scenes #my royal ramblings #analysis #my screencaps #my gifs #meta

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bonguri · 1 year ago

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20231008 Okutono-Jinya 5 by Bong Grit Via Flickr: こっちはピンクの縁取りコスモス��輪。 @Okutono-Jinya, Okazaki city, Aichi pref. （愛知県岡崎市奥殿陣屋）

#Pink flower #Pink petal #Pink cosmos #Cosmos #Cosmos flower #Petal #Flower #Nature #Plant #Flower garden #Cosmos garden #Okutono-Jinya #Okazaki #Aichi #Japan #Nikon #Nikon Df #AF-S NIKKOR 28mm f/1.8G #flickr

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luveline · 8 months ago

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jadeee!! how are you?? I was rereading everything asf universe and I thought, as a belated weasley twin bd treat, perhaps a drabble of r and Fred at Angelina and George’s wedding and Fred realised how much he wants that for him and r?? i wanna see them get hitched soo bad!

that whole universe is sooo special to me, endless thank yous to you and your amazing brain for writing it❤️

I love you!! It’s so special to me too!!!! And I’m so grateful to you for reading!!!!! fem, 1.2k

cw mental health issues

Fred gets you in his lap, but it takes all day, and only after the speeches.

“You were very brave,” he says.

“Don’t patronise me.”

“I’m not,” he says, his arms folded around you, your side to his front so as to keep his gaze on your face. You’ve genuinely never looked so beautiful, not ever. It’s the most gorgeous dress you’ve ever worn, and you’ve smiled all day. He can’t believe it.

“Was it an okay speech?”

Fred finds your hand to hold.

I didn’t know what it was like to have a friend before I met George and Fred, you’d said, staring hard at Molly rather than the crowd, your nerves apparent in every word. I’ve never known someone to love as hard or as generously as he does. I… wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him. And so it makes me so happy to see him loved like that in return. I know he’ll be a good husband, because he is a great friend, and I think that’s half the battle, and– and he tries so hard. I wish you both a happy marriage and… a great honeymoon.

George didn’t beg you to say something, but he’d begged Fred to convince you, and everyone could see how much it meant to him that you’d managed to do it in front of so many people. George had no trouble proclaiming that you were his best friend in the entire world and that he would kill anybody who ever crossed you, including his twin, if it were to come to that.

It will never come to that. Fred will never break your heart.

“I didn’t know you were going to say that much,” Fred says.

“Too much?” you ask, looking down at his chest.

“No, sweetheart, no. It was lovely. I just knew it was gonna be hard for you.”

“You talked for half an hour,” you say.

It’s an exaggeration, but not by much. “I had to embarrass him fully. That’s what getting married is for.”

You press your cheek to his shoulder. The lights in the hall are low, your seats at the main table shaded from the lights and the music. George and Angelina’s family mingle, dance, and sing quite drunkenly. It’s very normal, but you’ve had a long day. Fred’s not sure you’re up for dancing. He doesn’t mind.

“It was a lovely speech,” Fred affirms. He’d murmur if he weren’t worried you’d miss it with all the noise. “He knows public speaking isn’t for you, and it was probably a better gift for him than the DFS voucher.”

“Better than a new sofa?” you ask. “You’re joking.”

He laughs at your joking and presses a heap of kiss all over the side and top of your face. You melt under his touching, slouching into him, the curl of your smile palpable on his shoulder. He can feel it. “My mum’s coming. She’s trying to be subtle. Shall I send her away?”

“I like your mum,” you say.

She’s in a dress with huge draped sleeves, her hair piled away from her face, her lips a pale pink to suit her red hair. When she talks, Fred can see the happy tear tracks that mark her powder. “Hello, you two.”

You sit up to a slightly more respectable position, but it isn’t as though she hasn’t seen you and Fred touching. “Hi.”

“Hi, mum.”

“How are you both? There’s more champagne around the side, dearie, your father can get you another bottle if you like.” She beams at you both. “You look exhausted.”

“It’s a long day, mum,” Fred says, mildly apologetic.

“I know. Imagine how much worse it is when it’s your own.” She brushes a strand of hair from Fred’s face. “Well, alright, I’ll go bother someone else.”

“You’re not bothering us,” you say quickly.

“I know, sweetheart.” She gives you a motherly shoulder squeeze. “I just wanted to make sure you were both okay. I’ll make sure they play a few slow songs for you to dance to. I need good photos for my wall.”

Fred laughs against the back of your head. “Thanks, mum.”

She leaves you quickly, attention snatched by Percy where he’s calling for her to come and dance, and leaves Fred in particular with an idea he’s been trying and failing to ignore all day. He knows it’s cliche, but his brother's wedding has made him think of his own, and how it will go and when it will be. If he asked you to marry him, would you say yes?

“You really do look so pretty,” he says.

“You’ve told me a couple of times,” you say shyly.

“I can’t believe it. I’m coming to terms with it.”

“Do you think we’ll get married?” you ask.

“Of course I do,” he says immediately, startled, and wondering for the thousandth time if you can really read his mind. “I suppose you’ll have to let me ask you first, but of course I do.”

You nod distractedly. It’s not the reaction he’d hoped for.

“What are you thinking?” he asks.

Loving you is learning when to manage a crisis. Not that you’re always in crisis, but it’s an essential skill he’s obtained nonetheless. He waits for you to answer his question patiently, his fingers under your chin, tilting your head up gently to his eye level.

“Do you remember the first Christmas I came to stay with you?” you ask. “Before we were together.”

“I remember.”

“I told you that I didn’t think anyone would ever marry me. That I’m not that… sort of person.”

Fred shifts his legs under your weight. You aren’t heavy, the chairs are uncomfortable, and he plans to have you here for hours upon hours if he can swing it. “Yeah.”

“But you said you’d prove me wrong. We hadn’t even kissed.”

“And you still didn’t think I had a crush on you,” he teases.

You gather your arms to wrap behind his head, sitting taller, cwtching his face to your neck. “I know it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Ghost, I know everything about you. It makes total sense to me, believe it or not. And I will prove you wrong, I promise. If that’s what you want– it’s what I want, I just haven’t figured out how to ask you yet. Can you give me a little more time?”

You suck in a strange breath. He’d like to say it was delighted, but it’s better labelled as shocked. “Okay.”

“Thank you. We’ll have much better music.”

You turn your heads to the dance floor, where Arthur has unearthed those extra bottles of champagne Molly promised, and the Weasley troupe are dancing like an especially ginger entourage of fools to something abrasive by the Weird Sisters.

“Should we go dance?” you ask.

“In a minute. After my dads discovered that champagne isn’t regular champagne, I think.”

You shed the panic you’d been fostering to kiss his warm cheek. “Idiot, what did you do?”

“It’s his wedding, Ghost, what did you expect?”

You kiss his cheek again. A third time and he’s blushing. “Love you, Fred. Do you think George will forgive me for bending the truth?”

“Don’t you dare.”

“‘Cos I was lying, you know, when I said he’s the most loving person I’ve ever met. That’s you.”

Ugh, he thinks, dipping you backwards for a kiss. What a girl.

#a special friend universe #fred weasley x reader

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