#devon be my husband

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

omg omg omg

the first time you go to the shooting minigame, the employee tells you "the first try is free for couples" refering to Candy and the LI. Thomas is very blunt and says "we are not a couple" and just pays, while Devon LITERALLY blushes (Am I supposed to remind him he's my boss?)

AND HE ISN'T DENYING IT (devon i'll be in need for those acting skills to get myself an apartment next ep)

Devon: Well yeah, it seems easy. But we don't know how much it cost... Employee: For couples as cute as you two, the first try is free! Candy: (I looked at Devon as he looked at me too. When our gazes met, we looked away.) Devon: Hm, well... Let's do it, you try first, Candy.

[anoddopal]

9 and 10 for the s/i ask game! (asking for both the regular timeline and the au timeline! 👀) -gideongrovel

[Link to ask game!!]

Main Timeline

9. Who are your self insert’s closest friends?

Bun’s very closest friends are Ni.co Robin, Tony Tony Cho.pper, and her ✨~flashy~✨ bestie, Bu.ggy the Clown!

The friendship bewteen Silva and Robin has been explained in more depth HERE; but as a whole, they are cut from a very similar cloth. Just your average duo of morbidly curious history buffs who in time- found their respective reasons to live. ❤️‍🩹

Ch.opper is Bun's preferred doctor. He took care of her when she briefly traveled with the St.raw Hats. Bun was rather unwell after the Ala.basta incident, and her pets communicated to the reindeer that she needed help. As a result she adores the little guy [+bonus points in his favor that he's an animal]! They both look up to each other; Bun admires his dedication to his craft, and respects the fact that he is a talented medical professional, despite some of his more childish mannerisms. Ch.opper outright thinks that Silva is cool, if not something of a badass- he always carefully regards the life advice she provides him with. Tony is always happy to translate what Silva's pets say to her! Even a ways off into the future, Bun still goes to him for her significant medical needs; or sometimes Ch.opper makes the trip to her. The little guy may be the only person that Bun earnestly listens to when he scolds her to take better care of herself.

Bu.ggy and Bun were practically instant friends. They initially met when Bu.ggy made a trip to Ala.basta to search for THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE his on-agin-off-again partner, Jinx [@/mothlover69]. Bu.ggy quickly perceived Bun as a secret freak outcast, and Bun couldn't help but think he'd be a fascinating specimen to observe, er, a unique acquaintance to have! In any case, they got along decently well right off of the bat, so much so that Bu.ggy eagerly allowed Bun to live on his ship after she decided she didn't have the heart to keep traveling with the St.raw Hats. Actually, rumor has it that he just shot out his detached hands and scooped her + her pets onto the Big Top sometime before Lu.ffy's crew made it to Jaya!

It would be fair to say that B.uggy is a bad influence on her. It would also be fair to say that she’s as equally of a good influence on him. He’s learned how to be slightly better because of her. For example, the slack he cut for a frightened Transponder Snail at Mar.ineford was due in part to Bun’s impact. Most of the time Bun is the responsible one in their friendship, but in the event she’s not at her best, she has a tendency to feed into Bu.ggy’s nonsense. This was extremely evident when Bun was in a post-breakup[?] depression after Ala.basta, and Bu.ggy chose to enable all of Bun’s bad habits. What, what’s the harm in eating candy and cake for breakfast? Breakfast… three meals a day… HEY, he got her to eat, okay?! Psshh, he was only trying to comfort his friend! That’s what friends do, right? They cheer each other up? [Bless Jinx for rising up as the responsible adult in this specific situation!]

Bun respects Bu.ggy as her friend, but she also tends to call him out on his bullshit. [Nagging is one of her love languages!] Bu.ggy huffs at this tendency of hers, but deep down he knows that she wouldn’t do it if she didn’t really care about him. He very much enjoys the attention she gives him in any context. He furthermore appreciates her authenticity even though he doesn’t always know what to do with her… wholesomeness. Whereas Bun appreciates how she can ease up and laugh around him. In the future, Bun protects him from the wrath of her ill-tempered husbands.

Bu.ggy has been desperate to get his best bun to join his crew for a very long time. After she left with Cro.codile after the battle at Mar.ineford, he had a meltdown due the fact she was gone. [Actually he thought she was dead! They got separated during the battle and never regrouped. When Bun eventually came back a few weeks later to collect some of her belongings that were still on the ship, Bu.ggy legitimately thought he was being haunted by her ghost.] Though the two end up working within close proximity when Cross Gu.ild is formed, Bu.ggy still laments she still didn’t choose to join up with him. Listen, the guy is a better friend to her than most would think- however, that doesn’t mean that he still isn’t just a taaaad selfish. 🙄

Bu.ggy has since added some more pastels to his flashy wardrobe, while Bun can semi-frequently be seen wearing oddly clownish makeup [Bu.ggy uses her face as a canvas when she allows it].

[This answer really only included dynamics with canon characters but I simply must give shoutouts to @/mothlover69’s Jinx and @/jj-exe’s JJ!! They are also Bun’s beloved fwiends.]

10. How do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

Most folks are baffled as to why/how Bun and Cro.codile ended up together. They became even more confused when Mi.hawk also married Bun years down the line. Bun is very small and kind- her husbands seem like too harsh of people for somebody like her. [Little do they realize how ridiculously soft the are for bun-]

But given that the three seem outwardly content with their dynamic, the rest of the world can only assume that Bun is extremely powerful, having wrangled two former Warlords of the Sea and all! And that assumption is not wrong. uwu

Robin is glad for her friend. She saw Bun and Cro.codile together during their early days, and she knows firsthand how inseparable they are. Bu.ggy does NOT care for his business associates/his best bun's husbands. They eat up her TIME and ATTENTION!! >:o( And he also secretly worries that they're mean to her like how they are to him!! However, the flashy fool has nothing to worry about.

Somebody -> 🦩 may be not-so-secretly seething with jealousy about the relationship, but the details on that matter are better kept hush-hush.

Forbidden Fruit AU

9. Who are your self insert’s closest friends?

Why, Bun’s very best friend in this timeline is the good doctor, D.oc Q! Ca.tarina D.evon and Ku.zan are also quite close with her.

D.oc Q is her ride or die. They have that Horse Girl [or uh, Horse Boy in this case?] 🤝 Rabbit Girl connection. They are both chronically ill [ofc Doc's health issues are much more dire] and count on their prey animal pets to get by: he has his horse Stronger🐴 [mobility aid] and Silva has her lapin🐰 Stratus [ESA]. Doc has a way of knowing what's amiss with Bun before she even knows herself- he furthermore was able to pick up on some of her health issues that she didn't initially disclose to him. Bun assists him with his work when needed- D.oc Q has the MD degree and Bun has the bedside manner, lol. Though she mostly helps him take proper care of Stonger, which is something he is eternally grateful for.

It was Doc who first started referring to Silva as "lucky", which is a judgement that has stuck, though Bun denies it. Bun will sing with others, but Doc is the only person she will sing to. He insists that her low-toned warbles are soothing, that the sound helps him feel better when he's sick. The often have deep discussions about death and the fragility of life. If D.oc Q's mantra is "memento mori", then Bun-Bun Silva is soon to follow with a gentle "memento vivere".

When Ca.tarina Devon first joined the crew, Bun was ecstatic! Being surrounded by a bunch of men all the time was… a bit exhausting, so finally having a woman around was a nice change of pace. Of course, Devon is as rotten as the rest of them, but she found that she couldn’t possibly rain on Bun’s parade. Turns out it’s nice to have a platonic “gal pal” to share the AFAB experience with. They’re both LGBT+, they manifest ~queen~ energy together, and Devon continuously tries to teach Bun how to live the: Gaslight. Gatekeep. Girlboss 💅 way of life. However, Bun is a bit too kindhearted to really adapt that approach to herself. So Devon has to settle for engaging Bun in juicy gossip- which Bun is juuuuuust petty enough to indulge in. 💖💜💅���

Ku.zan and Silva are alike in ways that set them apart from their other crew members. Both have a capacity for compromise and compassion. They are disenchanted with the World Government; they found they could seek their own freedom and fulfill their own needs by aligning themselves with Bla.ckbeard. Out of everyone else they’re the most socially acceptable out of the bunch. Ku.zan had his world turned on his head, which is a feeling of despair that Bun can relate to on a deep level. She’s always interested to hear what his life was like when he was a Marine, and she always chuckles bitterly when she relates to how his perspective was forced to change. Ku.zan enjoys her ability to match his dry humor- but the ice puns get a little repetitive. Overall they have a seemingly casual, yet actually rather close, friendship!

Oh! And Bun tends to give the latter two unwarranted relationship advice. "You know Devon, maybe you'd have a girlfriend if you didn't keep trying to behead every date you've landed since you've been a free woman! 💀 And Ku.zan! Please tell me you didn't try the 'big bazongas' cold opening on another poor woman again-"

10. How do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

The rest of the Bla.ckbeard Pirates wholly support Silva and La.ffitte as a couple! Their union was a product of destiny after all- the two were simply meant to be. None of them would ever deny that fact or attempt to get in the way of their relationship. They’re the crew’s resident lovebirds. [It helps that La.ffitte, in a terrifyingly cheerful manner, makes it clear to any potential newcomers he and his beloved wife are strictly exclusive… and any person who attempts to challenge that will be dealt with accordingly.]

… Though in the beginning, the crew were almost certain Bun would end up with D.oc Q, given how close they are. But it seems fate had other plans in store!

And as for the rest of the world; as for everyone that was close to Bun before she became involved with Te.ach's crew? They're very concerned. The Bun they knew would never associate with a person like that! Something must be wrong. Something must have gone horribly wrong.

... Sir Cr.ocodile is filled with so many regrets...

[snootlestheangel]

Cause I just saw a post bout Coffee, what would your OC's coffee orders?

Just being a lil curious creature

I'm gonna do all of them starting with the COD ones

Bryn likes hot coffee with a bit of creamer and sugar. Not too much but still not quite bitter. Is very strict about only drinking one cup in the morning.

Woody actually doesn't like coffee, believe it or not. He's more of a tea drinker.

Truck is unsurprisingly simple. Black coffee with like a single spoonful of sugar. No one is sure if the sugar makes any difference but he swears there is. He can always somehow tell if his coffee is missing the sugar.

Ness doesn't like hot drinks but hates iced coffee so he ends up letting his coffee sit and get a bit lukewarm before chugging it all in one go. He doesn't often add anything to it but he also gets coffee that isn't as strong.

Flash is an iced latte kind of guy. Absolutely does not need coffee and is banned from it, but on the rare occasion he manages to get his hands on some, it's an iced latte

Bennett is a cold brew guy but with nothing added. Just the straight cold brew coffee.

Maxlar drinks any and all kinds of coffee. Hot, cold, doesn't matter to him. Black or so full of sugar and cream it's barely considered coffee anymore.

Malvo doesn't drink coffee, or anything actually because he doesn't need to. He's offended you would assume he drinks coffee, and especially offended you assume it's straight, steaming hot black coffee.

Devon doesn't drink coffee because he's a big Dragon and caffeine is terrible for big Dragons like him.

Hades drinks hot coffee with a buttload of creamer. It's still got enough of a coffee taste that it still counts but he's pushing the limit.

Aten, despite also being a dragon and shouldn't be drinking coffee, is a cold brew with creamer kind of guy. Hades is going to have a heart attack and die if he catches Aten drinking coffee again.

Troy, despite being a vampire, still chugs what's left of Aten's coffee when he gets yelled at for drinking coffee. It is the only coffee Troy will drink. It's weird and he knows and he doesn't care.

[anonbinaryweirdo]

nO therir friendship was EVERYTHING TO ME

Alexandra and Derek they are THE friendship EVER

this might be a really old screenshot but it's so dear to me💔

that being said, it's really outdated and the features are NOT canon to present timeline (staring at that horrific tail)

[not-quitenormal]

*narrows eyes* suspicion.

[the-winds-of-destiny-xxx]

.

[chrisevansonly]

𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐞

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: there is no better remedy than your husband, little girl and soleil the bunny

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: mentions of sickness, nothing major, fluffy

𝐚/𝐧: idk this is so self indulgent

“Juliette.. nous devons nous taire, tu te souviens?” (juliette we have to be quiet remember?)

Charles whispered to the 5 year old little girl as he carried a tray into the dark room with soup, some medicine and tea for you. You’d come down with a little cold, nothing severe and it was almost over but it knocked a lot of energy out of you

“Oui papa! Je serai aussi silencieuse qu'une souris” (yes daddy, i will be as quiet as a mouse)

As cute as Juliette was, she definitely wasn’t super quiet because you stirred from your spot in bed and spotted the two of them, a smile on your little girls face as she came to your side of the bed

“Hi maman!” she sighed happily as you yawned, raising your hand to stroke her cheek gently

“Sorry mon cœur, i tried to keep her quiet”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly, sitting up a little so he could put the tray beside you, ready whenever you wanted to eat something

“No it’s okay, my little Jules just wanted to say hi hmm mon chouchou?” (my darling)

Juliette nodded before holding out her orange coloured bunny to you

“Maman, when I get sick, Soleil helps me feel better, here, she can help you too!”

Juliette was always concerned for you, being equally a mama’s and daddy’s girl she wanted you both to be happy and healthy all the time, no matter what she had to do.

“Aww merci mon amour, c’est très gentille de toi” (thank you my love, that is very nice of you)

“Je t’aime maman!!” (i love you mommy)

Smiling you leaned forward to kiss her forehead before letting her cuddle into your side, Charles admiring from his spot by the end of the bed

“You coming for a cuddle too papa?” you teased lightly, earning an eye roll from your husband

“Yes, but first medicine for you”

Charles couldn’t hold back the laugh that’s spilled from his lips as he watched you frown, Juliette hugging you tightly

“It’s okay maman, i’ll hold you, make you feel better!”

“Thank you baby”

After another minute or so of pouting you took the medication from Charles, quickly washing it down with some water, making a slight face of disgust

“Maintenant, faites-nous des câlins, s'il vous plaît?” (now come and cuddle us please)

Charles nodded, leaning down to kiss your forehead

“Je ne voudrais pas faire autre chose avec mes filles” (i wouldn’t want to do anything else with my girls)

You sent him a smile as he moved the tray, the soup long forgotten as he took you into his arms, Juliette already soundly sleeping on your other side. You may have been dealing with a pesky little cold, but there was nothing that was better than cuddles with your two favourite people in the world.

Oh and Soleil…you couldn’t forget about Soleil..

[hubbypossession]

I snuck into my best friend's place this morning because I just couldn't resist the urge to transform into her fiancé, Bryan. I know that sounds gross and weird but he was so hot. I'm forced to work with the guy five days a week and it's hard to stand by and watch him from my cubicle most days. He's a really nice guy and totally supportive of my friendship with his soon-to-be-wife, but I always had such dirty thoughts in my mind when I thought about him.

I had resisted using my shapeshifting power for personal gain, but I figured a little fun wouldn't hurt anyone. Besides, who has to know? They had both left for work already and I had her house key because I was supposed to dog-sit this weekend.

I raided their master bedroom and found Bryan's shirt and pants that he wore yesterday. God he looked so hot in it yesterday at work. I sniffed it and could instantly smell his sweat, musk, and cologne all in one go. I began to imagine myself wearing his big hunky body myself when I heard the front door opening. Fuck!

I quickly scrambled out of my clothes and into his, hiding my old clothes under their bed. I instantly felt my body envelop in a warm heat as my form shifted right before my eyes in the mirror. I grew taller, stronger, sexier, and bigger all at once. The once-baggy clothes slowly began to fit my new hunky frame as my face and hair all transformed to become an exact replica of Bryan. As the transformation finished, the bedroom door swung open and I was greeted by someone I was not expecting!

"Hey ba-! Fuck! Who are you?! What are you doing in this house - err, my house!" I stammered as I saw a cute twink standing in the doorway with a devious glint in his eyes. It was Devon, the other shapeshifter in town that used his powers for crimes and theft.

"Harry, I know it's you in that body. You can't fool me. I saw you sneak in here. Looks like someone's getting a little antsy always using their power for good all the time. How's it feel being in that big strong masculine body?" He taunted as he grabbed my muscles and cock.

"Devon! Get the fuck out of here. I wasn't doing anything serious. I just wanted to try him on is all. He's a good guy and yes I had a crush on him... You need to leave, right now!"

"Oh I don't think so. I'm gonna tell your friend about all this. About breaking and entering. About your power. And how you used it to morph into her hubby." He stated as he took a picture of me with his phone.

"No! You can't do that. Please! I promise it won't happen again. Just let me go. Here I'll shift back. I'll do anything you want!" I begged, falling on my knees.

"I have a proposition. And you might actually like it Harry. Let me morph into your friend. And let's go on a weekend getaway together. Just the two of us."

I revolted at the thought and stood up. "Absolutely not! You sick fuck!"

"Do it, or your secret is out. And not just to her." He was dead serious.

I contemplated for what felt like hours. "You promise that's it? Won't you hate being a woman?"

"Of course not. I get off on becoming anyone. But you better act the part too. And yeah I promise this will be it. Us shapeshifters ought to stick together... babe." He taunted as he went into the bathroom and began searching the dirty clothes hamper, just like I had done.

I waited a few minutes on the bed, contemplating my life decisions when suddenly the bathroom door opened and my friend, err Devon, walked out. It was scary how he assimilated into a new personality and body so easily.

"Wow. You look, uh... Just like her." I stammered, getting somewhat hard at the thought of impersonating my best friend and her husband for the weekend.

"What are you talking about Bryan? You feeling okay babe?" She asked as she came up to me, the very faintest hint of a smile plastered on her stolen face.

"Yeah, uh, babe. I'm feeling good actually."

"Yeah you are big boy. God I can't wait to give you road head in the car later. You ready?"

She groped my bulge as she inhaled my pits through the smelly shirt - I guess I had started sweating as Bryan. I gulped as I was lead out of the bedroom by new fiancé. I had no idea how to explain this to anyone. Hopefully I'll never have to...

[drdemonprince]

Hi Devon!

I'm a big fan of your work, and i've found your books to be really helpful in understanding myself.

I'm a 19 yr old autistic woman and I have a fetish for head shaving. This is something I've known about myself from a very young age. My whole life I've felt very connected to queerness, despite only ever being romantically interested in men - something which has confused me. I am mainly turned on by women shaving their heads, but I am not at all romantically interested in women. I also look very young, and live at home with my parents, so am hesitant to explore anything irl despite really wanting to. I have never been in a relationship, and I've never told anyone about my fetish.

I am finding it hard to envisage a future for myself where I can be satisfied. I would love to be in a monogamous relationship with a man, but I also can't imagine never getting to fulfil these lifelong fantasies. I also am finding it hard to have a sense of identity, because i don't feel connected to straight women or queer women- so I don't really know where i fit in.

Do you have any advice?

Honestly? Put up a personal ad on Lex offering to shave a girl's head and sharing you have a fetish for it. Lots of queer women want their head shaved and want a little tenderness from another woman. Get licensed to do hair and work at a queer salon or just offer up your services at a BDSM dungeon. Shaving is a big part of sub initiation for some anyway. And again, lots of queer women want their head shaved. Be open with partners, in time you can definitely have a funky straight husband who loves that you shave girls and move thru kinky spaces. That is like, so fucking achievable.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading updates: august 2024

the good news is that I did a lot of reading this month, the bad news is that honestly? I think that my birthday month has had the biggest percentage of literary letdowns, duds, and outright bullshit than any other month of this year so far.

but at least there's plenty to talk about, so let's get going!

Unlearning Shame: How We Can Reject Self-Blame Culture and Reclaim Our Power (Devon Price, 2024) - uh oh gamers, we're starting on a doozy! I've enjoyed both of Price's previous books very much, but with Unlearning Shame I couldn't help but feel like I couldn't quite shake the feeling that I wasn't getting what I had signed on for. the issue, I think, could be corrected by an adjustment to the title, which seems to be promising a very broad tackling of the concept of shame and is therefore making some pretty big promises. in reality, the book is much more narrowly focused than that, interested primarily in the shame that arises in the activism-minded when they feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of awful things in the world and their perceived inability to do anything about it. fairly early on Price introduces an apparently relatable anecdote about himself and a friend having mutual breakdowns in a grocery store because they were both so paralyzed by the conundrum of trying to buy the most ethical groceries possible, and I realized this book was maybe not really for me or my particular experiences with shame. I think this book will be really helpful for a lot of people for sure, would love to pass it on to a lot of my freshmen, but overall it did not live up to the expectations I brought to the party.

A Separate Peace (John Knowles, 1959) - so I wanted to reread this because someone on here sent me an ask about, I don't know, my favorite required high school reading or whatever, and I said it was A Separate Peace but then I realized it's been over a decade since I read the book and I had to go see if it still actually held up. and god, does it EVER. this is such a brutal and heartbreaking novel, beginning in the last carefree summer that best friends and roommates Gene and Finny will experience before their final year at their boys' private school and their seemingly inevitable draft into WW2. although Gene is seethingly jealous of Finny's seemingly effortless charisma, popularity, confidence, and athletic prowess, the two boys are also inseparable - until a tragic injury changes the course of Finny's life forever. this book is a mess of unspoken pain, from the looming end of innocence on a global scale to the intimate ache of loving your best friend so, so much and having no healthy way to express it because you're a repressed little rich boy in the 1940s.

Deep as the Sky, Red as the Sea (Rita Chang-Eppig, 2023) - Chang-Eppig's debut novel follows the career of Chinese pirate Shek Yeung, also known as Zheng Yi Sao, immediately following the death of her husband, fearsome pirate Sheng Yi. you've probably seen a post or two about her floating around on this very hellsite, calling her a pirate queen and accompanied by this image:

Chang-Eppig isn't interested in portraying Shek Yeung as any kind of heroine or feminist icon; over and over again it's acknowledged that she's simply a woman who has survived massive hardships and will do whatever she needs to do to survive. manipulation? spying? extortion? torture? murder? you name it, she's done it, and she does not feel remorse. while the novel wasn't a knockout for me either in terms of plot or prose, it's nice to see an entry into the trend of "retelling" stories from history and mythology centered on women that isn't determined to justify every step a maligned woman ever made. Shek Yeung is what she is, and her story makes for a gritty, bloody adventure.

Victim (Andrew Boryga, 2024) - this book is pure sleazeball fun; if you've ever wondered what I consider a romp, this is it. Victim follows our manipulative king Javi Perez as he builds a writing career for himself by turning in one essay after another about racial discrimination that he never really experienced, inventing stories of hardship caused by racism and poverty from his college application essay to his school newspaper to the story that finally brings the whole lie crashing down when he stretches the truth too far. the novel is written like Javi's apology in the wake of getting #canceled, and while I do sometimes feel that this premise makes some of the writing seem a bit implausible (why would you admit that!!!) it's a fun setup for a scandal that would have been a bloodbath on the twitter of old. come get your mess!!!

Bad Girls (Camila Sosa Villada, trans. Kit Maude, 2022) - this is my first time reading Sosa Villada's work but OH BOY, do I need to seek out more. this is a skinty little novel following a dramatized account of the travesti (or transgender) women who live and sell sex in Córdoba, Argentina. the women build an unsteady but beautiful and magic-infused family under the protection of the ancient Auntie Encarna. the protagonist (who is named Camila Sosa Villada, no relation I'm sure) watches as her unconventional family grows, changes, and frays over time, struggling to find ways to stay afloat in a world that see them as disposable. Sosa Villada's turns of phrase are brilliant and searing, and she weaves fantastical elements so nimbly into her narrative that it's utterly believable to see women becoming animals and courting headless men in the streets of a modern city. strongly recommend for fans of Kai Cheng Thom's Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars.

Talkin' Up to the White Woman: Indigenous Women and Feminism (Aileen Morteon-Robinson, 2000) - this book serves as a scathing literature review indicting Australia's white women anthropologists and feminist scholars for the ways in which they've dehumanized and discredited Aboriginal women, stripping them of the right to be authorities of their own experiences and barring them from a white-centered feminist movement. Moreton-Robinson's account is excellent, contrasting the wok of white women academics with the accounts of Aboriginal women to reveal exactly how massive the disparities in understanding are. as a USAmerican previously aware of Australia's colonial history but unfamiliar with the specifics, it was jarring to discover exactly how similar the mechanism of colonial violence are between my country and Australia, with countless genocidal parallels to be drawn. one particular highlight of the book comes via my purchase of a 20th anniversary edition, which includes a new post-script by Moreton-Robinson in which she dissects and responds to various criticisms of the book at its time of release, taking several critics to task for the belittling tone they used to describe her work and the tools white feminists use to absolve themselves of blame in the face of critique from women of color. fascinating and thorough articulation of Moreton-Robinson's point, and deservedly blistering. I love when academics call each other out by name.

The End of Love: Racism, Sexism, and the Death of Romance (Sabrina Strings, 2024) - so the thing about this book is that there are really good PARTS. Strings is still an excellent historical writer, and I found a lot to appreciate in, for instance, the segments on the history of Black American pimp culture and the analysis of Playboy and Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl. the more personal segments, where Strings contorts herself to fit her own failed relationships into the narrative she's building, are decidedly less consistent in their quality, with some feeling like they would have been better off staying between Strings and her therapist. there's a long and convoluted digression about Sex and the City, and a strange anecdote towards the end in which String recounts a phone call with a friend's college-aged son who, String believes, was masturbating during the call. a yucky experience, to be certain, but I'm not sure it justifies Strings filing a police report against the youth and his mother, who she accuses of having groomed her on the son's behalf. she also casually drops in the same chapter that she considers herself pansexual because she's attracted to trans men in addition to cis men? idk man!!! this book was so uneven that I found myself genuinely questioning whether Strings' first book, Fearing the Black Body, is actually as excellent as I remember it being. I'm pretty sure it is, but god it sucks to get shaken so hard that you have to wonder!

The Diary of a Teenage Girl: An Account in Words and Pictures (Phoebe Gloeckner, 2002) - another book that I had to read for class, years ago! I read Diary of a Teenage Girl in one of my gender and women's studies classes in my undergrad, for a class with a title along the lines of Girlhood Stories in Fiction and Film. Gloeckner's novel (though heavily informed by her own life, she insists that it's a work of fiction) sees its young protagonist, Minnie, navigating a great deal of sex, alcohol, drugs in 1970s San Francisco. I started thinking about the book because I was listening to a trio of episodes of You're Wrong About in which Carmen Maria Machado guests to talk about the pervasive sham that is Go Ask Alice (great series, check it out) and I started thinking about Diary, which is so much less preachy and didactic and is, you know, actually drawn from a real teenage girl's diary, unlike Go Ask Alice, and lacking Alice's preachy didacticism. as a diary based on a real diary this book is largely lacking in any particular plot (the most consistent through line is Minnie's ongoing and tumultuous sexual relationship with her mother's 35 year old boyfriend), but if that's not a turn off then you'll find yourself rooting for Minnie to find her way all the way to the uncertain but ultimately optimistic conclusion.

One and Done (Frederick Smith, 2024) - okay, so. this is a romance novel that I picked up because I saw a review talking about how it's an incredibly realistic depiction of working at a university. now that's obviously an insane thing to look for in a romance novel, but I like romances, ESPECIALLY gay romances, and I work at a university, so I figured sure, I'll bite. spoiler alert: it's not great. I posted some examples of the prose here, and even if the two protagonists talked like actual human beings it wouldn't make up for the stale-ass plot or devastating lack of chemistry they have going for them. more like One and Glad to Be Done With This Book That Isn't Very Good, am I right, ladies?

Seduced (Virginia Henley, 1994) - guys, I'm gonna be so fucking real with you. this is the most batshit novel I've ever read, period, let alone the most batshit romance novel. this book was the winner of a poll I ran on patreon last month in which my wicked patreonites got to nominate romance novels of their choosing for my next reading project and voted amongst themselves to crown a winner, and against all odds and my own light attempts to sway the voters, Seduced won it all. this book has everything: a historical setting, a bold young lady disguising herself as her own brother, wildly unchecked orientalism, a murderous cousin, high society scandal, and some of the most torturous sex scenes I've ever encountered in my life. truly this write-up cannot do justice to what I have experienced; I've already promised by patreonites that I'll have to do a little youtube live in order to fully express the extent of my dissatisfaction.

and that was the month of August, babey!!!

[blossom-works]

Home for My Heart: At His Happiest

Almost a whole year of Kylian getting to experience one of the happiest times of his life with the woman he loves the most. 

Warnings: Mentions of miscarriage, descriptions of vaginal birth, vomiting

---

With a big smile, you watch your husband do a celebratory dance. He still has your pregnancy test in hand, and Kylian’s dimples are on full display. With two big steps, he goes back to the white box and silently squeals at the crochet cleats and ball. While you cannot entirely see his face, only the side of it, you know that Kylian is thinking about the child that will one day be here. He places one of the cleats into the palm of his hand, and you watch as Kylian marvels at its size. It barely fills the length of his palm. Kylian puts everything back in the box and magically appears in front of you. His hands cup your cheeks and he plants one of the biggest kisses he can on your lips. Kylian’s passionate kiss is a bit too passionate for your liking. He is starting to hurt your cheeks with how hard he is pushing against them. 

You pull his hands off your face and your face away from his. “I’ll take it that you’re happy.” 

“Chérie, c'est la meilleure nouvelle que j'ai jamais entendue ! Nous allons être parents ! Nous devons le dire à nos familles !“ You have to flinch at how loud Kylian has gotten. Honey, that's the best news I've ever heard! We are going to be parents! We need to tell our families!

Now it is your turn to cup his cheeks. “I know you’re excited, but I want us to hold off on telling people.”

“Huh? But why?” Just what in the world is holding you back? This is probably the best thing that has happened to you two. Why not celebrate it with your friends and families? 

Putting on your serious face, you say “Look, I’m just as excited as you are, but the first trimester is the most crucial. I don’t want to freak you out or make you worried, but about eighty percent of miscarriages happen during the first trimester. I don’t want to get everyone excited only to-” you say the last part in a whisper. “Lose the baby.”

Your talk of reality brings Kylian down from his high. Hearing what you have to say, Kylian nods his head and kisses your forehead. Hugging you, Kylian tells you that you two have nothing to worry about and that he cannot wait to tell everyone that you will be parents. The box of goodies sits on the table while you and Kylian fantasize about life as parents. 

“What do you think it’ll be?”

“I would have to say boy since your family has a lot of boys.”

“But your family has a lot of girls.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who gives the last chromosome. X or Y.”

Kylian shrugs his shoulders to your truth. His hand has not left your stomach. If anything, that one spot is getting a bit sweaty. You tried to move his hand, but Kylian swiped your hand away. 

“What about names?” You ask. 

“Mmmm...Kylian Jr.?”

You lift your head at him and raise a brow. “I refuse to let my child be named Jr.”

“What? Why not? Kylian is a great name.”

“No, you’re just fueling your own ego. Besides, I will refuse to have sex with you if your child has the same name as you.”

Kylian looks at you like you just grew two heads, but the more he thinks about it, the more your outrageous statement makes sense. He grimaces at the thought and agrees that Kylian Jr. is off the table.

“What about football? Would you want our kids to pursue a career in it? Especially if we have a son.”

Your husband hums. “I would like them to at least love the sport, but if they have a passion for it like I did, then I would want them to go after their passion.”

“And what if they don’t like football?”

“It would break my heart.” He tells honestly. “But I can’t force it on them. Especially when they get older.”

You and Kylian talk more and more about your future with kids. Going over all the “what ifs” your heads can think of. The more you guys talk about the baby forming in your womb, the more excited Kylian is. He has always been good with children and has always wanted kids of his own, but he chose to focus on his career. When Kylian got older, the urge to settle down and have kids grew. He is lucky that you wanted kids just as bad as he did because if he had to wait any longer, Kylian may just end up going crazy. When you were just dating, Kylian saw how you treated your nieces and nephews. You loved and doted on them as much as you could, but you would also scold them if they got into trouble. Kylian just knew you would make a great mother, and he only hopes that he can be a greater father. 

A Couple Weeks Later: 

(Bold dialogue in quotations in this section means that someone is speaking in Spanish)

You let out a loud sigh as you close the lid of your water bottle. When you made the appointment to visit the clinic, the woman on the phone told you that you have to drink at least thirty-two ounces of water an hour before you get to your appointment. You thought that it would be easy since your water bottle is thirty-two ounces but drinking it in a limited time is a lot to ask. Especially when you cannot use the bathroom until after the appointment ends. You hear your husband laugh at how annoyed you are. 

“Vous vous amusez la bas?“ You glare at how much fun Kylian is having at your expense. Having fun there?

“Shut up. I can feel my bladder expanding with water alone.” You say as you fix your posture to make yourself as comfortable as you can. “If I pee on myself, I’m gonna send the the bill from the cleaners to the clinic.”

“Ha ha ha! We’re almost there. I’m sure your bladder can wait a couple more moments.”

The more you grovel in your water misery, the slower Kylian is driving. After wishing and wishing for traffic to move faster, your wish is granted. Kylian reverse parks the Mercedes. Thanks to his reputation, the owner of the clinic agreed to do all of your appointments before they open to the public. Of course, it came with a higher bill, but it was worth it in Kylian’s eyes. He does not want the media to get a hold of your pregnancy just yet. Since front window tinting is illegal in the country of Spain, Kylian has to be extra careful on the road to avoid unwanted attention. He calls the front desk to tell them that you guys are here, and when the receptionist sees his Mercedes, she hurriedly unlocks the door. 

“Welcome! Let me show you to the room. Your OB should be there shortly.”

A fact that you forgot in your agony of water, is that the OB clinic you are at is part of the hospital you work at. It is at a different location, but under the same board or management. It is the reason why you and Kylian were able to make this request so easily. You also know how the entire establishment works so trust is a big player.

Kylian thanks the woman as she leads you down a hallway. She stops at the third door on the right and motions for you two to enter. She tells you to sit at the exam table and reminds you both that the OB will be here shortly. 

“Did you finish drinking you thirty-two ounces of water?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Alright. I’m just going to take down some basic information and I’ll get out of your hair.”

Once the lady finished jotting down said information, she closes the door to leave you and Kylian alone. Being the nosy person you are, you get down from the exam table and snoop around the cabinets and drawers. 

“What are you doing?” Kylian asks you in disbelief. If you remember correctly, this is the first time Kylian has been in a clinic room with you, so he does not know that you like to prowl the room before the doctor comes in. 

“I’m a curious person.” You shrug like it is no big deal. Most if not all the clinics you have been to have the same materials in it, but there may be that one time where something weird is discovered. Kylians shakes his head at your antics, but lets you continue. A knock on the thick door interrupts your snooping and you hurriedly sit back down on the exam table. Sending Kylian into a laughing fit. 

“Come in.”

The OB closes the door around her and greets Kylian and you. 

“Hello! I’m Alejandra Sanchez and I’ll be your OB for the rest of your pregnancy. Now before I start the exam, have you had any symptoms? Pregnancy related or not?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“And you have no known allergies, correct?”

“Uh-huh.”

Once the OB has everything she needs, Alejandra asks you to lay down on the table and to lift your shirt to your chest. The clinic had asked you to wear loose fitting clothes so the water-based gel does not ruin your clothing. She also asked you to wear a sports bra in case the underwire interferes with the sonogram. Alejandra uses a clean towel to roll down the waist band of your pants enough to expose your entire torso. The waistband is now where your pubic bone is. 

Alejandra warns you that the gel is cold before applying it. Kylian scoots his chair so he can sit right next to you, but out of the OB’s way. She places the transducer on the gelled area and starts searching for the peanut of a baby. You see Kylian pulling out his phone to record the upcoming moment. Alejandra starts pointing out the different organs the machine is picking up. She puts a bit more pressure where your uterus is. She moves the transducer left, right, up, and down and there it is. Your baby. 

“Here we go.” Alejandra says as she points to the white shaped peanut. With her free hand she explains that the black bubble your baby is in is the placenta. She then uses her free hand to check the baby’s growth, and that is when she plays the most beautiful sound a person can play. 

The rhythmic beat of such a small heart is truly a blessing to hear. Unknowingly, you and Kylian’s grip on the other’s hand has loosened. Too in awe at the sight and sound of your child. Your first child. Kylian’s camera perfectly captures the screen, but it does not do the scan justice. 

“Your baby is growing just fine, and their heartbeat is regular. It looks like your baby is about six weeks old. Meaning-” Alejandra does some quick math. “Your baby should be due sometime in August of next year. Would you like me to send a recording of the heartbeat to your email?”

Kylian immediately agrees and gives her the appropriate information. Alejandra thanks your husband and leaves you two to enjoy the moment with each other. Neither of you say anything. Not that anything needs to be said. You two could look at the scan for ages and never get bored of it. The sight may be insignificant for some, but that is just because they do not understand the wonders of it. Knowing that this baby is to grow inside of you makes you selfish. A big part of you does not want to give birth to this child and have them all to yourself. 

Neither of you realize that about ten minutes have gone by just staring and listening. Alejandra’s knocking brings you both back to reality. 

“Excuse me, I’ve sent the recording to your email Mr. Mbappe. We also have about twenty minutes before we open to the public.”

Alejandra then wipes the gel off your stomach and hands you a copy of today’s scans. She tells you when your next appointment is and that they will open their doors a little earlier for you. Your OB thanks you and Kylian for your time and congratulates you. She informs you that the lady who lets you in (her name is Fernanda), will be the one to check you out. 

Once you get yourself ready to leave, Kylian turns you around by your waist and hugs you to his chest. When you look up to him, he has a gentle smile on his lips, but eyes are the window to the soul. Through Kylian’s eyes you can see how happy he is. Happier than when he wins the World Cup, happier than when he scores a goal, and happier than when he married you. You can see how much he is looking forward to holding his child in his arms for the first time. You can see how much he is imagining his life as a father. You know that he cannot wait for the near future. 

Two and a Half Months Later (Approximately 15 Weeks Pregnant):

Moaning in agony you flush the toilet a third time in a row today. It was the beginning of the month when you started to feel the hormonal changes happening within your body. You started feeling nauseous around certain foods and you catch yourself going into emotional fits (after they are done). Most importantly, your body is rejecting almost everything you put in it. You have been heavily reliant on the prenatal vitamins you have, but those can only do so much. The only foods you can keep down are rice, cucumbers, and eggs (that have to be cooked a certain way or else you throw up). 

There was an instance where Kylian was cooking lunch for you two and you threw up due to the smell. It was not even appalling to the normal human nose, but your hormonal body said “no”. So anything Kylian wants to cook something for himself, you have to lock yourself in the bedroom and wait for the main floor to be aired out. This part of your pregnancy, not being able to have a meal with your husband, sucks the most. To try and normalize your change of behavior, you have opted to FaceTime whenever Kylian eats his meals. 

“Chérie, j'ai laissé ta bouteille d'eau sur ta table de chevet. Je vais préparer un dîner. Voulez-vous votre habitude?” Kylian calls out, semi-worried. He has sort of adjusted to your pregnancy symptoms, but he still worries about your overall health. Especially when you can only eat three types of foods. He just hopes that your symptoms will die down soon. Honey, I left your water bottle on your nightstand. I'm going to cook dinner. Want your usual?

You groan out a yes before you hurl into the toilet bowl for the nth time today. Who knew that a baby, who is the size of an apple as of right now, can make you barf your guts out so much. After one more round, you feel as if your body has nothing left for you to throw up. Ripping some toilet paper off its roll, you wipe your mouth and flush it down the toilet with the contents of your stomach. You spit into the sink before vigorously brushing your teeth. For good measure, you use extra-minty mouthwash. Satisfied with your clean and minty mouth, you gulp down some water, wincing when the water intensifies your fresh mouth. Knocking on the door, Kylian comes in with your meal in hand. He hands it to you while littering your forehead with kisses. 

“Comment vous sentez-vous?“ Kylian asks as he sets the bowl of food on a nearby surface to pull you in a hug. Since you have been sick, you have been losing some weight and that worries Kylian. He asked your OBGYN if they can do anything about your nausea, but they told Kylian that he will just have to wait for it to pass. The prenatal prescribed to you should help alleviate the sickness, but every pregnancy is different. If the clinic upped your prenatal dosages, it may end up causing harm to the baby and you. How do you feel?

Exasperatedly you say, “Like a demon wants to crawl out of me.” 

Kylian laughs and plants a kiss on the top of your head before kneeling down to your stomach. 

“You’re not even born yet and you’re already causing your mom trouble.” Your husband lightly flicks a random spot on your abdomen. Punishing his child for their wrongdoings. “I’m gonna eat and clean up, okay?”

Not a beat later are you rushing back to the bathroom for another round of hurling. 

Three Months Later (Approximately 29 Weeks Pregnant):

You and Kylian knew that you pregnancy can be hidden for so long. Especially when you are shopping for your baby’s arrival. Online shopping is wonderful but when it comes to the big supplies like cribs, strollers, bouncers, and highchairs to name a few, it is best to shop in person. So, Kylian pulled out his celebrity card and called a few shops a week before to ask if they could close their store for a certain time frame. He also hired a bigger than usual security team for the day. 

When you and Kylian arrived at the local mall, you were greeted by a group of journalists, photographers, and fans (word gets out quick). To keep face, Kylian smiles at his fans and waves at the reporters. All of which you sort of ignore as your husband told you to do. It takes you two about ten minutes to get to the first store. Not because it is deep inside the mall, but because you had to fight through the crowd. As soon as you entered the store with three security guards, the rest stood in front of the store entrance. 

“Regarde ça! Seuls deux de mes doigts peuvent rentrer dedans! Allons s'en approprier!“ Kylian calls out to you while showing you his amazement. Look at this! Only two of my fingers can fit in! Let’s get it!

You take the adorably tiny shoes and look at the tag. “Kylian, these are meant for newborns to four months old. The baby won’t even be able to walk, let alone crawl at that age.”

“Mais bébé ~” Kylian whines. Sternly, you tell your husband “no” and drag him over before he can sneak it to one of the employees. But babe ~

“You still have the list of what we need to buy, right?”

Kylian hums as he pulls out his phone and clicks on the “notes” app. Out of the corner of your eyes you spot something that you just absolutely need to buy. Your pregnant self pushes your husband out of your way as you run towards the item. 

“Babe! Look what I found!”

You pull the item off the shelf and proudly show it to your husband (and everyone who is watching from the display windows) with a big grin. 

“Oh, come on.” Kylian laughs. 

In your hands is a fluffy rug in the shape of a sea turtle. The head is stuffed while the rest of its body is nothing but soft fabric. “It matches the theme of the nursery! We have to get it!”

“But don’t we already have a rug in the nursery?”

“So? The rug can have a rug. You can never have too many rugs.”

“You’re just saying that cause you put rugs in every room you build in the Sims.”

“Yeah so?”

Kylian touches the rug and holds it up in front of him. “It is a cute rug.”

With doe eyes you say, “I know! And we can always use it in the living room for tummy time. It’s multi-purposeful!”

“Tummy time?” Kylian asks confused. He is still learning about baby terminology so something like “tummy time” is still foreign to him. 

“Yes. You know, when you put the baby on their stomach for a while.”

“Oh ouais. Pourquoi les gens font-ils ça de toute façon ?” Oh, yeah. Why do people do that anyway? 

“It’s to help the baby build their neck muscles. Et si un bébé reste trop longtemps sur le dos, sa tête prendra une forme irrégulière.” You show Kylian a comparitive picture of a baby’s head. One side is a baby that was allowed to have tummy time, and the other shows a baby that was always on their back. And if a baby stays on their back too long, their head will take on an irregular shape.

After Kylian hands the rug to an employee, together you look for a suitable playpen and a portable crib with an attachable changing table. The more you look at the different options for a pen, the more you two agree that you will wait to get one. It will be a while before the baby even starts to crawl. On top of that, where will you put the playpen, and how much will you have to buy?

“We’ll just change them on the ground or the couch. We should get a bouncer instead and have a corner or something for baby supplies.”

The two of you spend a total of four hours at the mall. All of the bigger items that Kylian bought he asked the employees to send them to your home. Smaller items like clothes (and the shoes Kylian dearly wanted) were in the shopping bags in his hand. When you two get home, there is a package on your doorstep. Since your home is privately gated, anytime someone needs to make a delivery, the driver must call either you or Kylian to get the gate open. Happily, you take the box and barge into your own home and run to the dining room table. 

Squealing, you take out the cushioning and throw it onto the floor to reveal the handcrafted item. When you hold it up by the top look, you look at the craft in awe. On Etsy you ordered a sea turtle themed mobile. Your heart clenches at the thought of it one day, being the first thing your child sees when they wake up. 

“Look Kyky! It’s adorable!” 

Your husband smiles as he puts the shopping bags on the table. Kylian stands behind you and holds you close by your waist. Slowly, he starts to say your bodies. 

“It’s perfect babe. You did a good job picking it out.”

The mobile has three turtles per your request. Two big sea turtles and one baby right in the middle. The baby turtle is on its back while the parents surround their child. Different shades of blue, felt balls are attached to the top of the strings to make it look like the family of turtles are swimming in the open sea. Kelp and coral hangs from the bottom from various heights. If you look closely, one of the turtles has lashes on it. The mommy turtle: you.

“Le bébé va adorer.” Kylian says. He gently turns your head to the side and softly kisses your lips. Peck after peck he kisses you. Each lasting a second longer than the last. Kylian does not know what was going through your head during today’s shopping trip, but in his, the reality that he is going to be a father is getting closer. Waking up in the random hours of the night is horrible, but getting to hear his baby’s laugh outweighs the con. Becoming the world’s best football player has always been Kylian’s goal in life, but being a father came close. Now, both goals in life are about to come true. The baby will love it.

One Month Later (Approximately 34 Weeks Pregnant):

Humming, you have a finger on your chin thinking about where objects should go. Everything has to be perfect or else you will not be able to sleep. Meanwhile, as you are taking your marry time, your poor husband is standing next to the crib. Awaiting your orders. Kylian is shaking his right leg while he tries to regulate his breathing. He knows how meticulous you are with objects and their assigned places, but damn. Can you please make up your mind? First you wanted the dresser next to the crib but then it seemed cramped. Then you did not want the crib directly in front of any windows cause you are scared the sun might blind your baby. Then Kylian had to keep scootching the rocking chair a little bit further from the corner so when you rock, the back does not hit the wall. 

“I think it’ll be easier to put the crib there and the dresser across it. The cubbies can go over here. What do you think Kyky?”

“I think this’ll be the last time I’m moving anything.” Kylian grumbles as he swipes the sweat off his forehead with his shirt. 

Feeling bad, you cup his cheeks and kiss him. Giving him a couple of pecks in hopes that it will completely erase his annoyance. “I’m sorry. I just want everything to be perfect when the baby comes.” 

Kylian sighs and this time, kisses you. His bigger and slightly sweaty hands caress your belly from under your (his) shirt. Your baby has been an active one and definitely takes after their father. Every time the baby kicks your uterus, you want to slap Kylian each time for passing on his genes. The first time Kylian felt the baby’s kick, he would not stop touching your belly in hopes of feeling the baby kick again. Unfortunately for you, whenever the baby kicks, it feels like you have to pee. First you spent all your time in the bathroom throwing up, and now you spend all your time to pee, and sometimes you do not even pee! 

“Je sais bébé, mais peux-tu s'il te plait finaliser là où tu veux tout ? Tu me tues ici.” Your husband begs. You happily nod and tell him where to put the furniture, promising him that this is the last time. Taking your word for it, Kylian puts the dresser on the opposite wall of the dresser and the cubbies underneath the window. He makes sure that the rug is nice and centered. You hand him a leveler, and everything is nice and even. Kylian insisted on putting the furniture himself and not hiring people to do it for him. You were a bit iffy since Kylian is not the best with tools, but you did chaperone him. Your dad taught you all about tools when you were growing up, so you are more than experienced in this department. You have to hand it to Kylian, he did a good job once he knew what tool was what. You do have to dock some points because Kylian refused to read the manuals and even wanted to open every pack of screws and bolts at the same time. I know baby, but can you please finalize where you want it all? You are killing me here.

Happily, you thank Kylian with a big kiss on his lips and tell him that you will get him some water. He thanks you and watches you waddle into the hallway to go downstairs. Finally having the time to relax, Kylian sits down on the rocking chair and leans back into it. The more he sits in silence, the more real this room feels. This room is for his baby. His baby that is currently growing in your womb. During the first few months the baby will be sleeping in your shared room, but after that, they will be getting their own room. This room. The one that Kylian had to rearrange four times. He looks at the cart where most of the baby essentials and your breast pump are at. Just two weeks ago you two traveled to America and had your baby shower. 

Baby showers are not as popular in Europe as they are in America, and it would be easier for your family if you had the party there. It was a joyous time and with how high strong your hormones were, you did cry a couple of times. While your baby has yet to be born, they are surrounded by love throughout the world (and the internet. Kylian’s fans have been guessing what the name and sex of the baby is). Feeling reality hit him, Kylian wipes his hand over his face as he looks at the crib he struggled to build. His baby will one day sleep there and he or you will have to make your way into this room in the middle of the night for feedings and diaper changes. The dresser will double as a changing table and the cubbies are for the books you were gifted at the baby shower, and for the different knickknacks you two bought. 

“You okay?” Your voice and the way you caress his shoulder knocks Kylian out of his daydream. He takes the water and chugs it down before telling you he is fine, kissing the hand on his shoulder. 

“Je vais bien. J'ai juste hâte que le bébé arrive.” I'm doing well. I just can't wait for the baby to come.

“Me too.” You whisper. “Now help me get these pictures up, and we’ve gotta set the mobile up. Oh, and help me fold the baby’s clothes. They just finished drying.” You list more to-do’s after another in what Kylian believes is a never ending list.

...Shit...

One Month Later (Approximately 38 Weeks Pregnant):

About a month ago you started your maternity leave. It was great in the beginning since you got to sleep in and do whatever you want, but it got boring soon after since you would be home alone. That only lasted a week though. When you two found out your due date, Kylian had a long meeting with the club’s management department about taking leave for a few months towards the end of your pregnancy. Luckily, they ended up agreeing but it would mean that Kylian’s contract would be extended for a few months to make up for his absence since your baby will arrive during the season. 

Kylian bought the large property not just for its privacy, but the yard space it offered. When you two were in a long-distance relationship and things were getting serious, you frequently talked about wanting a large backyard space for your future kids to run around in, and maybe a dog or two. When you two were house hunting, Kylian kept that wish in mind. He even requested the retail agent to only show them houses with a large yard. You two had fun viewing multiple houses and had even more fun re-designing your home. European fridges are small and while you got used to them, you wanted your big, American fridge back. While you mainly focused on the inside of the home, Kylian focused on the outside. The yard space was big enough to have a fully sized football field installed, a pool and a patio with a built-in grill, a bon-fire pit, and more than enough empty space for little kids to run around in. This is truly where Kylian and you will raise your family. If you had to one day move, Kylian may have a hard time selling this place. 

While doing the dishes you felt a bit more uncomfortable than usual but brushed it off and focused on getting this pain in the ass food off this plate. Honestly, you feel like SpongeBob that one time he could not get that gunk off the plate at the Krusty Krab. Where could you find a laser and tank without alarming the feds? After you successfully cleaned the plate, you took off the silicone gloves and cleaned off the counter and sink. You then took it upon yourself to sweep the floors and vacuum the rugs and wipe down any dirty surface. You then went into one of the storage closets to get your cleaning bucket to clean the bathrooms. This house has about seven full bathrooms with two half sized bathrooms. Now, you do not plan on cleaning all of them, just the ones that are frequently occupied and inspecting the ones that are not. 

When you are satisfied with your handiwork, you check on the laundry that you put in the dryer before you started cleaning. You fold yours and Kylian’s clothes and put them where they belong and go to the bathroom to collect your skincare, shampoo, and conditioner. You place the products in a small bag before mentally checking to see if you need to do anything else before leaving. Your double and even triple check but nothing comes into mind. Bag in hand you go downstairs where Kylian is playing on his PS5 with Hakimi. 

“Honey!”

Kylian’s eyes are focused on the screen in front of him while his fingers are busy pressing different buttons in a sequence. “Huh?” he yells out.

“We gotta go.”

Confused, Kylian tells his friend to hold on and takes off his headset. “Go? Where are we going?”

“The hospital, I’m in labor.”

From your perspective, it looks like Kylian’s mind is buffering. Like you can physically see the wheel spinning. The Frenchman quickly throws his headset off and rushes past you to get the car keys. 

“C’mon cherie!”

Instead of walking out the open door, you sit on the couch where Kylian was occupied not long ago and put the headset on. 

“Hakimi? Hey, it’s nice to talk to you too. Listen, Kylian will have to leave the game because he has to go. The hospital. No, everything’s fine, I’m just in labor. Yeah, it is exciting. I’m a little scared. Thank you! Yeah, I’ll tell him to Facetime you when the baby comes. See ya soon!”

You exit the game and turn the gaming station off and put the controllers and headset away. Getting off the couch was a bit of a struggle since your center of gravity is off, but you managed to do so. 

“What are you doing? We need to get to the hospital!” Kylian is absolutely confused at why you have not left the house yet. You are about to have his baby for crying out loud!

“Hold on, Ky. I gotta put the dishes up.” 

“What!” Kylian chases after you and tries to coax you to get into the car. “Why are you drying dishes?”

“I can’t come back to a dirty home. What will the baby think?” You justify it like it is the most obvious thing in this world. 

“The baby won’t even be able to see!”

“Alright, well I still don’t wanna come back to a dirty home.” You say as you grab a clean rag and dry off the semi-wet dishes while putting them into the cabinets and drawers of the kitchen. “Some women put on their makeup before going to the hospital. This is my equivalent. Now if you want, you can help me out so we can get to the hospital sooner.”

Completely dumbfounded, Kylian shoves the keys into his pocket and grabs a rag. He takes dish after dish off the rack faster than Speedy Gonzales and tosses them wherever they belong. 

“Careful! I don’t wanna have to sweep the floor again.” 

Huffing, Kylian is a tad bit careful when putting the dishes away while still maintaining his speed. Thanks to his help, the dishes are dried and put away. Kylian tosses the rag on the counter and pulls the keys out of his pants.

“Can we - What are you doing now?”

“Relax hysteria. I’m just putting the rags away so they can dry properly.” As soon as you put the wet rags on the oven handle, Kylian drags you out of the kitchen and towards the car. “Wait! I need to check to make sure nothing else needs to be done!”

Kylian unlocks the door and practically shoves you into the passenger seat and snatches the bag of bathroom products out of your hand and chucks it into the backseat. “Chérie, je me fiche que la maison brûle. Vous êtes en travail. Je t'emmène à l'hôpital.” Honey, I don't care if the house is burning. You are in labor. I'm taking you to the hospital.

You pout while putting your seatbelt on while Kylian does the same. “I don’t get why not. I entered labor while doing the dishes.” You mumble.

“Quoi!“ Kylian shouts. 

“Yeah, I felt some contractions while doing the dishes.”

“You finished the dishes like two hours ago!” Kylian swears that his brain is about to explode from how nonchalant you are acting. You mean to tell him that you have been in labor for two hours and did not tell him!

“I know.” You shrug. “I was just following the 411 rule. I had to make sure that the contractions were about four minutes apart, last for a minute, and for the duration for an hour.”

Kylian cannot believe what he is hearing. An “error” sign might as well pop out from behind him. Instead of continuing this argument, Kylian ignites the engine and drives off. 

“Wait!” You yell at him. Kylian stomps on the breaks and asks what is wrong, panicking, thinking that the baby is already trying to come out of you right now. 

“Did you lock the door?”

Dear God, you are lucky that Kylian loves you or else you would be walking to the hospital. 

At the Hospital:

When you two were admitted to the hospital, you were given a private room and a hospital gown to change into. After you got hooked up to different machines and stuck with needles, Kylian left the room to get the duffle bag and the skincare you packed from the car. A couple of days ago you packed one of Kylian’s duffle bags with clothes for you, him, and the baby along with some essentials. When Kylian got to the car, he made sure the car seat was stable before going back to your room. Since you got to the hospital, your contractions got a bit more uncomfortable but not painful. You described it as having to take a solid poop. Your words, not his. 

Six Hours Since Arrival:

You ended up getting an epidural when the contractions got worse. Originally, you wanted an as natural birth as possible, but the pain was just too unbearable. You even cried from how bad the pain was. Kylian has never felt worse than he did. He could not do much but just watch and let the nurses do their job. Kylian tried to put on some smoothing music to help you relax but it just annoyed you. All you wanted to do was lay on the hospital in silence. You did not even want to be touched by anyone. When you got the epidural and slept for about half an hour, you felt a lot better and apologized to Kylian. 

“It’s fine, babe. You’re about to give birth to our baby. You can practically get away with anything.”

“Then~ Does that mean I can slap you and blame it on labor?” You joke. 

Kylian laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t know about that. Besides, you’re numb from your waist below so you can’t blame the labor pains.” He kisses you on the lips. 

You ask him if he has eaten anything, and he said that he ordered some food from a local restaurant. He ordered it under a pseudonym and asked the staff to watch out for it. Kylian did not want the media to get a whiff of what was happening. The nurse understood and asked her co-worker who is at the front desk to call her when the food arrives. You are a little jealous that your husband gets to eat but you are stuck with crappy jello cups. The doctors said that the clear foods and drinks should minimize complications but all you heard was that bread and rice is off the table. 

Echoing in the room is a heartbeat, your baby’s. Your baby is doing fine but you were warned that it will take at least twelve hours for the baby to arrive. Since this is your first birth, it is going to take your body a while to get the hang of things. Currently, you are only four centimeters dilated. 

Kylian lays his head on your chest, just at the top of your stomach and caresses the engorged abdomen. Heartstrings tugged; you caress Kylian’s head as you two listens to the beat of your child’s heart. A sound so soothing that both of you fall asleep to it. 

Sixteen Hours Since Arrival:

Your legs are propped on stirrups and people are crowded around you. Kylian is by your side to offer his support. Your anesthetic dosage was lessened so you know when to push. You are supposed to push during contractions since it will be easier for the baby to travel down the birth canal. You can only know when to push if you can feel your vagina being ripped in half. When it comes to actually pushing the baby out, you were told to use your core. A popular misconception is that when giving birth, you push like you would when pooping. The truth is that you use the same muscles when giving birth, but the right way to push is by tightening the muscles in your abdomen. 

“Está haciendo un gran trabajo, Sra. Mabppe. Puedo ver la cabeza de tu bebé.” You're doing a great job, Mrs. Mabppe. I can see your baby's head.

During your baby shower, your sisters told you to refuse the opportunity to be medically induced. With their experience and the words of their friends, it only makes birthing harder since the body is not naturally ready to deliver the baby. And it should take fewer pushes to deliver the baby. 

The doctor wiggles his hands between your vaginal walls and the baby’s head, lightly pulling the baby out. You tighten your core again and the baby’s bloody head is slowly coming out. The doctor encourages you to keep pushing and keeps gently pulling on the baby. 

“Tu vas bien, mon amour. Encore quelques essais et nous aurons notre bébé.” Kylian whispers to you as he squeezes your hand. The feeling of excitement and anxiety while playing during the final game of the the World Cup does not compare to the excitement and anxiety Kylian is feeling in this very hospital room. He does not realize it, but his entire body is shaking, and his eyes are dilated from how focused he is on you. You are doing well my love. A few more tries and we'll have our baby.

With his gloved hands, the doctor reaches further inside to turn the baby, so their shoulders are parallel to your vaginal opening. With a good grip and a last push from you, the doctor catches the slippery baby. The doctor turns the baby on their stomach to smack their back to get rid of any remaining amniotic fluids. With a couple of hits, the baby shows the room just how powerful their lungs are. 

“¡Él está aquí! ¡Diste a luz a un niño sano!“ The doctor congratulates you as hands your baby to one of the nurses to be cleaned off and examined after Kylian cuts the umbilical cord. A wave of relief washes over you and Kylian when you hear your baby’s cries. This is it. You two are parents. Your baby is born. You take deep breaths as two pairs of eyes are looking at the corner of the room. He is here! You gave birth to a healthy child!

“Aún no hemos terminado.” We’re not done yet. 

“¿Eh?“

One Hour Since Birth:

Your baby boy has been laying on your bare chest for about an hour now. An hour full of bliss as you get to finally hold your son after nine long months of waiting. One thing you have learned so far is that your son is a wiggler. He cannot stop moving his body until he deems himself comfortable. He loves to attempt to lift his head, but since he has not built up the necessary muscles, his head falls back onto your chest. It took him a while to stop crying when the nurse laid him down on you. Looking down at his head of black hair, you fall deeper in love with him. 

Matthew Mbappe Lottin. Born August XX, XXXX at 6:42 am. A weight of 3.7 kilograms at birth and forty-three centimeters long (about eight pounds and 16-17 inches long). 

When you and Kylian were deciding on what to name your son, you agreed to give him an English first name. Matthew has a Spanish and French version of it: Mateo and Mathieu. When your son gets older and is able to absorb more complex concepts, you and Kylian will teach Matthew his alternate names and how to spell them. 

Kylian has non-stop been taking pictures and videos of you and Matthew. For some unknown reason, you two have been whispering. The nurses and doctor told you that it would be better to talk in your full voice so the baby can get used to your voices, but you just cannot help yourself. Matthew is just so small and delicate that whispering is a go-to. Kylian sent a picture of Matthew to your families and close friends, letting them know of the joyous day. Ethan was the first to respond since he is usually up around this time. He has been spamming the group chat, demanding Kylian to Facetime him so he can meet his nephew. Your family lives on the east coast so it would be around midnight for them. It will be a while until they start demanding you to Facetime them. 

Being the big brother he is, Kylian completely ignores his younger brother’s request and puts his phone on “Do Not Disturb”. Your OBGYN told you that you can give Matthew to Kylian after the first feed. Every ten minutes or so she will pop in to see if your baby is ready to eat. A cue that most babies do when hungry is when they purse their lips. 

With your index finger, you repeat the same coos you have been telling your son while caressing his fuzzy and chubby cheeks. “Hey there little fellow. You like to sleep a lot, huh? Just like your dad.” You rub his slightly wrinkly back under the blanket that was placed on you two. One of Kylian’s hand is cupping the back of Matthew’s head while his thumb rubs it. 

“He’s so small.”

You jokingly scoff. “You try saying that after pushing him out of your vagina. I felt like I just birth a freaking watermelon.” Kylian laughs at your joke (you were not really joking though. Seriously, your cervix had to open wide enough to birth a damn watermelon). 

“Thank God I don’t have a vagina then.” He jokes back.

The nurse peeks her head back in to check on you and the baby. During the birthing process, you lost more blood than the doctor would have liked so they have been keeping an extra eye on you. She peeks over your shoulder and her eyes light up. 

“Parece que están listos para alimentarse.” She takes Matthew and asks you to sit up, Kylian aiding you. When you get situated, Matthew is placed in your arms as the nurse starts to massage your breast to stimulate it, preparing it for lactation. She tells you that after this feed, she will show you how to use a breast pump. Bottle-feeding Matthew will show how much he is actually eating. It seems that they are ready to feed. It seems that they are ready to feed.

After feeding and burping Matthew, you asked Kylian if he is ready to hold his son for the first time. Excited, he quickly takes off his shirt and holds his arms out. Laughing, you show him how to hold Matthew, making sure Kylian holds his tiny head up. Kylian awes as he shifts his arms in a more comfortable position. Your husband sits on the edge of the bed, keeping his eyes on his newborn son. This time, you are the one who is taking pictures and videos of Kylian and Matthew.  

Kylian holds Matthew close, the baby’s chubby cheek being squished against his father’s chest. You hand the new father a swaddle blanket so Matthew will not get cold. Like second nature, Kylian shifts Matthew, so he is laying vertically on his chest and then drapes the blanket over. In Kylian’s mind, no World Cup is a better prize than holding his child. 

Three Months Since Birth:

It has been an absolute blessing to witness Kylian being a father. From the poop explosions to spit ups, Kylian has been there for all of them. He only has a week left before he starts being an active athlete again. So, Kylian is savoring the time he has with you and Matthew. Speaking of Matthew:

“Awe~ You’re just having the best time of your life, huh?” You coo while recording your son. 

Contrary to your words, Matthew is not having the time of his life. In fact, he hates this. Tummy time absolutely sucks to him. He wants to be held by his momma and pappa, not laid on his stomach on some green and gray surface. It does feel nice on Matthew’s supple skin though but come on! He wants to be held! Matthew cries and yells while pumping his limbs in the air like a starfish, begging for you to pick him up. You record Matthew for a little longer, before you put your phone away and give the boy what he wants. 

You hold him up by his armpits and stand him up on your lap. Happy that he is being held, Matthew bends his legs in an attempt to jump or hop. He shoves his little fingers in his mouth and sucks the life out of them. While singing some nursery rhyme, you lift your son up in the air while making him dance a little. 

When Matthew first came home, Kylian took a picture of his little toes and posted it on his Instagram. So many fans and Kylian’s friends congratulated you two on becoming a family. Many of Kylian’s fans have been begging him for more baby content, and sometimes Kylian will indulge them. To keep your family’s privacy, Kylian has not and will not post a picture of Matthew’s face nor will he release the name of his son for a while longer. When Kylian introduced Matthew to the world, he wrote how happy he is to be a father and how well you did and are doing. Kylian never fails to brag about how awesome of a mother and a wife you are. 

You yell out to Kylian and ask if he can hand you a burping cloth so you can wipe away Matthew’s drool. Honestly, this kid drools more than a hungry mastiff. Instead of handing you the rag, Kylian picks up Matthew. 

“Babeas demasiado, ¿sabes? ¡Mancharás toda tu ropa y no te quedará nada!“ Your husband jokes. Matthew takes his hand out of his mouth and starts to shake them in the air, flicking his drool onto Kylian. You two laugh and while Kylian is cleaning your son up, you get a swaddle blanket ready. It is almost Matthew’s naptime, and he needs to eat beforehand. Kylian loves putting Matthew to sleep. He can see his little boy drift off to dreamland, safe in his arms. The only thing is that Kylian sucks at swaddling Matthew. He swears that it is easier to do a hat-trick than wrapping his baby in a blanket. You drool too much, you know? You will stain all your clothes and you will have nothing left!

You warm up the bottle and when you hand it to Kylian, Matthew immediately reaches for it. He loves holding his bottle, but Matthew does not have the fine motor skills to keep it upright, so you and Kylian have to assist him. As Kylian focuses on feeding Matthew, you focus on watching Kylian. At the beginning of your pregnancy, Kylian wondered if he would be a good father. With his busy schedule and all. You kept reassuring him that he will be a wonderful father to your child, and that he is worrying over nothing. You told him that while it might be hard for Kylian to balance work and family life, you know Kylian will do his best to be the father your child needs him to be. Besides, Kylian has you with him. You will fill in for when Kylian falls short just like how Kylian will fill in for you when you fall short. 

In a soft voice you can hear Kylian telling Matthew how much he will miss his son when he goes back to training. Sure, he will only be gone for only a few hours a day, but for those few hours Kylian will be away from his little family. Kylian tells Matthew that during games, he will dedicate two goals to Matthew. Each of the two people Matthew has brought great love to. The rocking motion puts Matthew to sleep. A habit of his that both you and Kylian love is that whenever Matthew sleeps, he likes to pout his lips. Lifting his son up, Kylian gently kisses his son’s pouted lips before putting him down in the bassinet set up in the living room. 

Relaxing in the quietness of your home, you and Kylian cuddle on the couch. A good thumb of rule is to try to nap whenever your baby naps. Peck after peck two pairs of lips lightly smack together. After a final kiss from Kylian’s lips, you both try to fall asleep. Like Matthew, you go to sleep knowing that you are safe in Kylian’s arms. Matthew may look like an example of CTRL-C, but you both share the love of feeling protected in Kylian’s embrace. 

[tategaminu]

SOOO the title for 05X6 dropped and I'm going feral

Be prepared to hear my long ass theory about this episode and why it will be the rayllum fully gets back together episode (I'm annoying)

Of course we already know season 6 will mirror S3 or at least that's what it looks like. "Moonless Night" is episode 5‚ the same one when Callum and Rayla first got together‚ just as 4 had the title of the place they reach. (The Midnight Desert‚ The Starcrapper)

I have to add‚ just as season 3 had Nyx‚ there's this sky girl called Astrid who may act as the Nyx parallel‚ who knows.

I don't use Discord but my info provider (hello there) told me Devon said episode five would be emotionally heavy and a favourite. A person said ep2 of season 5 were their favourite because the cute rayllum moments and Devon said "until 5 of 6" 🧐

Aparently, it was confirmed by writers this episode would DESTROY people KILL EVEN, well maybe not that but you get me. We know how emotional these two blorbos are for each other right? and we for them. In Discord, a person said ep2 of season 5 were their favourite because the cute rayllum moments and Devon said "until 5 of 6" 🧐

Now let's go to the juicy part. The title. This title is absolutely loaded. like wth. We all know whose favourite girl is related to the moon right? of course we are worried. But I think she's gonna be ok, in the end at least, let me explain.

Of course I'm asuming this scene from the teaser may be from episode 5. We see Callum falling in a moonless night but I'm guessing the title isn't that literal. I think Callum is falling emotionally and literally just as he has before for Rayla. He fell in love with her‚ he fell off a cliff for her and then fell emotionally when she left. The sky he is in is dark‚ no moon‚ representing his own mental state without Rayla. Rayla left him at night just as Callum is falling in the night (omg)

Callum had a moonless night every day for two years because his guiding moon wasn't in his life. I think they may talk about it or it will affect Callum in this episode some way.

Note that the teaser opens with this scene, next we have Aaravos saying "we are all of us, stardust, held together by love for an instant"

(wow subtle foreshadowing you guys)

and the teaser ends with Callum losing his love wings. The wings he got for her. Basically opening with a rayllum scene and closing with a "rayllum" scene ya know

In Chasing Shadows Rayla specifically mentions the stars in his eyes‚ when he does the big speech:

Now‚ what do I think will happen?

EP3: They visit the Silvergroove? just like in ep 3x3. Maybe visit Ethari? "heeey your husband is alive ok bye". My own guess is that they will get the boat from the leaked scene there since there are moon animals in that thing and reach the frozen ship with that.

Ep4: they reach destination and meet the sky elves, Astrid included, with no hiccups. ba dum tss

Ep5: Basically 05x3 but different and sexier

Whatever Callum is about to do I highly doubt Rayla will agree with it because you know how they are (me getting hurt is ok but not you). He convinces her like he did in TTM‚

But this time Rayla is the one to say it

I think that even if Callum promises he will be ok‚ he will have a "I want you to know" moment again and that may lead to talking about her leaving. This may derive into a kinda argument. Callum and Rayla can't continue their talk because they get interrumped (once again) but the memories of a broken heart and feelings affects him badly. He's just emotionally distraught and loses his love wings because whatever. I doubt Rayla isn't seeing any of this, you know how she is. She didn't spend 7 hours watching him sleep to actually not watch this like c'mon

This time Rayla may be the one saving Callum from falling (literally and metaphorically). Now yeah Rayla can't fly but maybeeee

A: she calls out for his name, "waking" him up

B: she just jumps (im going for this one) like Callum did for her. She jumps, not knowing if it's going to work, wakes him up after catching him‚ Callum is able to get his wings back and fly them both into safety, Callum gets his love wings again for her but this time she's being the savior (in the most part). Maybe even completing whatever mission they ask as well. TOGETHER.

After this we may get a Rayla is a hero speech or this time Callum is a hero speech, I don't know‚ I think it would be more fitting if it's from Callum and the hero Callum speech is from Rayla to her parents. Whateve, they finally have their three sesaon dragged conversation and they both kiss like in S3 but maybe reversed this time (Rayla kissing first and apologizing and Callum kissing her next) and they fully come back together :'). I dont think we will get an I love you until ep 9 but we won't really need it here right? we already know!

The episode ends with them kissing under the moon. Moonless Night ending with with a moon night (metaforically and literally)

Now‚ this is just my own guess and it sounds very very self-indulgent (heh) but a girl can dream

[camiefromstatefarm]

We're back with some more 'Upper Moon Demons' headcanons!!! Today, we're focusing on my personal favorite. Slight NSFW warning.

Upper Moon 4

Hantengu/Hanito Jigoku (Part 1)

- Born in 1611, in a less populated town near Kyōto City.

Koki Jigoku, his father, was an extremely handsome and charismatic ladies' man. Parenthood was unexpected, but his heart melted when he saw his newborn son, who bore a striking resemblance to him. Despite his love for his wife, Koki struggled to abandon his womanizing ways..

Otsuru Jigoku (née Aisaki), his mother, was a strikingly attractive young woman with a caring personality. She had sun-kissed skin, a slender yet dramatic lean body, reminiscent of Devon Aoki, a heart-shaped face, warm brown hair, and silver to orchid eyes always filled with energy. Otsuru loved her husband intensely, but her love often turned deranged, driving her to murderous jealousy towards his frequent infidelities. She came from a wealthy family.

- Even as a young boy, Hanito was a stunningly handsome child with a sturdy athletic build and tanned skin. His spiky black hair messy and full, framing his brooding heart-shaped face and accentuating his piercing onyx eyes. His eyebrows were thick and expressive, often laced with a dramatic display of emotions. His features were sharp and chiseled, with high cheekbones and a straight high-bridged nose. He also bore a mischievous devilish grin.

- Hanito's life of crime began at just seven years old, not out of necessity, but sheer desire and bad influences. He ran with a trio of urchin boys, forming a band of young thieves who stole whatever they could to fill their pockets. Surprisingly, his parents, Koki and Otsuru, didn't reprimand him for his delinquent behavior. Instead, they adopted a lenient approach, telling him that as long as he avoided getting caught, he wouldn't face trouble at home. This unconventional parenting allowed Hanito to hone his thieving skills, shaping him into a skilled young thief.

- Stealing meant buying whatever they wanted, but for free. Hanito-kun rarely strayed from his tight-knit group, seeking the safety net of their protection. Hanito had a knack for evading capture, thanks to three key factors: his incredible speed, his skillful lying and manipulation, which convinced people he was just an innocent child, and his loyal clique of local fangirls who often helped him out of sticky situations.

Emiko-chan, gasps: Girls! Here comes Hanito-kun, act natural!

(Hanito passes by and smiles slightly before leaving)

Sakura-chan, giggles: You see that? He smiled at me!

Yumi-chan, cooing: No, I'm pretty sure he had his eyes on me!

Emiko-chan, huffing: Nuh uh! He was definitely checking out my hair!

(None of them realizing their missing hairpins)

Hanito, gripping all 3 hair pins: Too easy.

- The manifestations of Hantengu's emotions take on physical forms that reflect the age where he experienced those emotions most intensely.

Zohakuten 👹

Year 1623; a store clerk by the name of Mr. Yamada was fed up with the troublesome child's lies.

Hanito, defiantly: Let me go you big bully! There really was a wolf!

(He struggles trying to free his ear from the store clerk's harsh grip)

Mr. Yamada, angrily opens the door: Otsuru, your brat is at it againー

Horrifying. There knelt Otsuru ominously, in a tattered old kimono ー stained with blood spatter, one she kept specifically for these occasions ー with an ecstatic expression. Before her lay the lifeless body of a curvaceous young woman, a ravishing beauty with a face like a porcelain doll and dark sea-green hair. Her thighs impaled by two knives and her pale mint eyes froze in perpetual horror, surrounded by beads of sweat.

Otsuru, glances behind her: Ah, welcome Yamada-sama! Do come in, we're having a family reunion of sorts...

Hanito swiftly averted his gaze, closing his eyes to shield himself from the uncomfortable graphics. His reaction betrayed a familiarity with his mother's brutal outbursts, a hint that he had witnessed her madness before. In contrast, Mr. Yamada stood frozen, his voice caught in his throat as shock and terror rendered him speechless.

(Otsuru rose, her movements graceful like a cat)

Otsuru, curls her lips: And you, dear friend, are just in time for dinner. I do hope you have an... appetite for the macabre.

(She walks closer making Mr. Yamada free his grasp on Hanito's ear, slowly retreating)

Mr. Yamada, sweating: No... no! What have you done to that poor woman!

Otsuru, pats her son's head: Hush now, everything is fine... I'm bound to tidy the house after this.

Hanito, crying: How much more that nasty stuff is going to happen here?

Otsuru, gently and soothing: Darling, you know I don't have other options...

Mr. Yamada, pointing: You... what are you teaching that poor child, youー you crazy bitch!

Otsuru's eyes blazed with a dark intensity, her gaze flashing like a stormy sky. The air seemed to thicken, heavy with malevolence, as the unhinged madness gave way to a sinister wrath. Her long hair whipped around her face like a flail, as if the wind itself was fueling her fury. Her stained kimono fluttering behind her like a dark cloud.

Otsuru, in an ominous voice: Forgive me, good sir... but I'm afraid you've dug your own grave!

(A knife slid out of her sleeve and she launched at him. However, Mr. Yamada was quicker and dodged her attack)

Mr. Yamada, cornering her from behind: So reckless...

Hanito, yelling: Momma!

(Basically what happened was Mr. Yamada managed to grab Otsuru's wrist, twisting it, forcing her to drop the knife, and knocked the woman out.)

Mr. Yamada, grumbles: I'd be damned if I wasn't a former martial artist. I'm sorry to say it, kid, but your mother's actions have earned her a reckoning. She'll face trial and judgment for her wrongdoings.

Hanito's tear-stained face twisted into a furious scowl, his large bushy eyebrows furrowing in anger. His piercing eyes narrowed, flashing with intense animosity, his glare so heavy that it almost crushed the store clerk. It was unnerving to see how this boy could be both seriously handsome and intimidatingly fierce at the same time.

Hanito, darkly: You evil son of prick! Leave my momma alone or... or I'll kill you!

(He charges at Mr. Yamada attempting to punch the latter, but was triped over by Yamada's sliding kick)

Mr. Yamada, lifts Otsuru up: Don't try to fight me, Hanito, I'm three times your size.

Hanito, grabbing onto Yamada's ankle: No!!! I won't let a scumbag like you give me orders!!!

(Hanito twists Yamada's ankle causing the latter to wince and kick him back)

Mr. Yamada, scoffs: Blasted child. You're lucky I respect your father enough to let you off the hook.

The 12-year-old's rage thickened, his glare twice as spiteful as he rose from his position, gracefully like the fall was nothing. He balled both hands fist, ready to spring into action when two people showed up. A samurai and a middle-aged woman with the same green hair as the victim.

Samurai, analyzing the situation: So if I'm correct, this was the lady who your daughter was last seen with.

(The middle-aged woman just nodded)

Mr. Yamada: I fear to inform you... that your daughter is dead...

(The middle-aged woman weaped)

Mr. Yamada, frowning: I was just taking her son, Hanito, back home. That kid has been in a lot of hot water lately, I wanted to have a word with Otsuru about this...

Hanito, looks down bitterly: I was telling the truth...

Mr. Yamada, shouts: There was no wolf and never one to begin with!

Samurai, tapping chin: Note the freshness of the blood suggests the incident occurred within the past 30 minutes.

Mr. Yamada, still disturbed: The girl is inside. Poor thing was bleeding head to toe.

This was a night no one forgotten, especially Zohakuten who held onto that memory like an ideology.

Basically after that fiasco, Otsuru was convinced of 13 accounts of homicide and sentenced to death by hanging. Nobody wanted to inform Hanito what happened to his mother, believing it'd be too hard on him.

- To cope with the void left by his mother's absence, Hanito's fragile mind conjured a distorted narrative, convincing himself that she was a monster who had abandoned him, rather than confront the painful truth of her fate.

- After his mother's departure, Hanito spent his remaining teenage years by his father's side. Seeking a new beginning, they relocated to Gion, a prestigious district in Kyōto renowned for its vibrant entertainment and traditional geisha culture.

- Hanito only grew more handsome by the day. His voice deepened, and he became taller & stronger. His spiky hair had grown longer, reaching his shoulders. His heart-shaped face still brooded with intensity, but his features had matured, sharpening his cheekbones and nose. His piercing onyx eyes smoldering and framed by thick eyebrows that gave him a debonair look. At thirteen, he was already the most attractive guy in Gion.

- He idolized his womanizer father, emulating his ways but with a more sinister edge.

Hanito, exclaiming: Father, teach me how to charm the ladies!

Koki, smiling: Ah, my son, it's all about confidence and charm. Watch and learn!

- As young Hanito honed his skills, his reputation grew, and so did his ego. He began to see himself as a legend, a master of charm and deception. And his father, well, he was the one who had taught him everything he knew.

- He employed his charms to lure unsuspecting girls into his trap, only to rob them blind. Unlike his father, Koki, who had treated his mistresses with kindness and sincerity, Hanito's intentions were far more dark. He delighted in leaving a trail of broken hearts in his wake, his beauty and charisma mere tools for exploitation. With each conquest, Hanito's confidence grew, as did his reputation as a heartless Casanova.

His father, Koki, looked on with a mix of pride and concern, aware of the darkness brewing within his son. Yet, he remained silent, allowing Hanito's destructive path to continue unchecked.

- At 14, Hanito experienced his first kiss under the soft glow of a lantern on a bench, in a secluded area of the Gion District. Maiya, his girlfriend, rested her head on his shoulder, her gentle eyes sparkling in the dim light. With his arm wrapped around her, Hanito felt a sense of vulnerability he'd never known before. As their lips touched, he tasted the sweetness of innocence, leaving him breathless. Maiya may not have been as pretty as the ryotei girls who often fawned over him, but to Hanito, she was cute in her own right. Her gentle soul and kind eyes captivated him. In that moment, Hanito felt like a different kind of man.

- Unfortunately, their relationship wouldn't last very long. Hanito's temper and insensitivity brought Maiya distress. Because of that, their relationship ended on bad terms that would leave the spiky-haired boy with his guard up.

- On his 16th birthday, Hanito's life took a reckless turn. He lost his virginity in a wild encounter with three bad bitches in one room, quite tumultuous but worth it.

Rorerei: a former geisha that kind of resembles a young Meisa Kuroki.

Kyoka: the daughter of the second wealthiest man in town & somewhat resembles young Fukada Kyoko.

Nozomi: a waitress who looked a bit like a young Nozomi Sasaki.

- They'd do it again the next night in the same Ryokan. Hanito enjoyed every minute of it. A cute girl named Mika ー cousin of Maiya ー would walk in on them while trying to find her room. This would fluster the young man greatly. However, Mika was... chilled with it and even joined in the fun.

When Maiya found out about what happened, she gave her cousin a 48 hour long lecture.

✅️

Aizetsu 😿

- At 18, Hanito's world was shattered when his father, Koki, died under mysterious circumstances. The discovery of Koki's lifeless body at dawn, drained of blood and beyond salvation, left Hanito reeling. Consumed by grief and abandonment, he plummeted into a dark depression, desperately seeking solace from the anguish. In his darkest moments, Hanito attempted to escape the pain through self-destructive means, but the void left by his father's absence only seemed to grow.

Aizetsu is the second physically youngest of Hantengu's clones. Since Hanito would no longer wore his hair spiky after turning 19.

- This led him craving solitude in the most somber area of Nishijin, where he could escape the world for a while. His only companion was a Japanese Bobtail cat he found injured by the roadside. He took her in, nursing her back to health by bandaging her paw and feeding her. He named her Usui, inspired by the rain that fell on the day they met.

- This was the second time Hanito displayed compassion towards another being. Together, he and Usui weathered the rainy days, a somber but comforting duo in the midst of Kyoto's bustling streets.

- In moments of introspection, Hanito would often hear his father's gentle voice whispering in his mind, urging him to stay strong and press on. The memory of Koki's words, though faint, remained a comforting presence, echoing through Hanito's thoughts like a soft breeze on a summer night.

- Eleven months later, Usui would find her siblings again. Although Hanito didn't want her to go, he did as he knew what it was like to be separated from family. But not before Usui rubbed against her close companion's leg and purred contentedly.

This version of Hanito became the base/blueprint for Aizetsu's creation. Each clone gain power using a series of events in Hanito's 87 years everytime he'd experience that emotion.

✅️

✅️

Karaku 💚

Year 1630; was when Hanito finally decided to move again and start over.

- Having grown into a stunningly gorgeous young man, his hair grew moderately past shoulder-length and wavy in a very sexy, satisfying, and stylish sense. His charm and good looks intensified, making him a magnet and true Casanova Killer. With his narrow piercing gaze, captivating smile, thick eyebrows, lean muscular build, nimble fingers, and glowing tawny skin, he was extremely irresistible to many. His voice fully deepened, and he grew taller, exuding confidence and allure.

- New year, new him. Hanito moved to Shimabara, a fascinating red-light district in Kyōto where life was an endless party.

- Hanito got to try liquor for the first time. A quarter cup of shochu mixed with ¾ cup of yuzu was enough to satisfy his taste buds. By the way, when he says the ladies at Shimabara were fine, he means it. During his time in Shimabara, he found himself hooking up with every woman who flirted with him. And that's saying a lot because Hanito was the talk of all town, a head-turner. Husbands would told onto their wives more closely at the charmer's presence, bachelors envied Hanito and wanted to be him and some were even mesmerized, many maidens found themselves falling for his charms and brooding persona, and the top most gorgeous women would even spend the night with him. As a result, Hanito acted overly cocky and prideful in many situations.

Let's just say, the ladies at Shimabara were like Makio/Mitsuri/Daki-level badness. Effortlessly pretty faces, voluptuous figures, stylish sense of fashion, sexy, and hot personalities.

- Let's just say, Hanito almost encountered the dreaded Kukushisen (Syphilis) this one fateful night. Nana, the chick he was with was really hot and was very experienced, luckily she brought mika (paper condoms) with her and they had a blast.

- Hanito actually first met Muzan at a party....

Hantengu's name holds a dual meaning, translating to both "Braggart" and "Half Tengu". The former suggests that The Demon King encountered him in a state of boastful pride, while the latter reveals a connection to the mythical Tengu creatures from Japanese folklore. Tengu are known for their striking appearance, featuring wings, beaks, and formidable magical abilities, as well as their mischievous and powerful nature. This namesake is fitting, as Hantengu's Blood Demon Art allows him to split his body in half, unleashing Tengu-like clones that embody the same quick and cunning spirit as their mythical counterparts.

- Unfortunately, they never got the chance to interact as the party got raided by a bunch of drunken thugs. However, despite being initially annoyed by Hanito's ego and two-faced nature, Muzan was intrigued by his soon-to-be-UM4's ability to charm and pickpocket people.

- Hanito's journey would take an interesting turn as he developed sadomasochistic tendencies. This transformation began with a chance encounter, where he found himself engaged in a captivating conversation with an alluring older woman... whose name remains a mystery. Deciding to step outside for some alone time, she pretty much... just dined in, left an indelible mark on his sensitive place. The sensation made him wince, but somehow he was enjoying it.

- Giving and receiving pain was more than just a fetish. He found himself really enjoying the suffering of people who wronged him. Heartbreak no longer hurt anymore, he was addicted to agony it brought him. Pain was pleasure.

- At 21, Hanito visited his boyhood town, only to discover his old home gone. In its place stood an Inari Shrine, alongside a garden where 13 graves lay next to cherry blossom trees in silent remembrance. He thought this view was rather satisfying and pleasing.

After Otsuru's heinous crimes came to light, the authorities embarked on a meticulous investigation, meticulously dismantling the house piece by piece to uncover the gruesome secrets within. Their grim task was to retrieve the remains of the 13 unfortunate women who had fallen victim to her brutality, whose bodies had been hidden or buried in various clandestine locations throughout the dwelling.

✅️

✅️

✅️

Urogi 🕊

Years 1623-1632, the town's population and commercial activities would slowly increase throughout the years.

The trio of urchins Hanito used to hang out with years ago were now successful yashi/yamichi (peddlers) ー by the way; their names were Bakuto, Omaru, and Kaito respectively: smooth-talking salesmen who may not be the honest people when it came selling things (Scam Artist Douma-san from the Academy AU should really hire these guys)

You may or may not have remembered the three girls who were obsessed with Hanito from the beginning. Emiko embraced her distinctive hair color - a pale silver with a soft baby blue undertone - rejecting the pressure to conform by dyeing it black. Meanwhile, Sakura harbored subtle affections for Yumi, but ultimately chose duty over desire and married a lord. In contrast, Yumi found true happiness with Omaru, her heart full of joy in their union.

Sakura, curiously: Who is that tall, dark, strong, and handsome brute over there?

Yumi, blushing: You're telling me. He's a snack.

Sakura, in a teasing voice: But, Yumi-chan. What about Omaru?

Yumi, nervous giggles: Oh, yeah... I forgot.

Emiko, looks up from sweeping: Girls? The porch isn't gunna clean itself.

Sakura, without looking away: Just a minute Emiko. We're too busy swooning over this hot new boy.

Emiko, raises a brow: Who?

(She walks over, trying to get a peak)

Emiko, surprised: H-Hanito-sama?

Well, they were both surprised to see each other. Emiko has now grown into the most beautiful woman Hanito has ever see. With her fierce meadow green eyes, flowy white hair, adorable smile, delicate frame, femininity, and great personality; she became the first woman he ever truly loved.

And Emiko; she always had a thing for that boy. Even after realizing he swiftly swiped her hair pin when they were little. She was absolutely smitten upon seeing this man again. He made her heart sing like no other person has.

- The time Hanito spent with Emiko were the best 2 months of his life. They shared an instant connection, discovering a deep affinity for each other's interests and values. Hanito, attuned to the subtleties of human emotions, realized his feelings for Emiko went beyond friendship after just three weeks of togetherness - he had fallen deeply in love.

- They got married on the first day of July, in the same Inari Shrine built where Hanito's childhood home used to be. He was overjoyed by this event, believing he might have a chance to a normal life.

- After bidding farewell to the town, they escaped to a serene foothill of Mt. Hiei, where they built a secluded haven near the charming town of Sakamoto.

"We are in love in love, haven't you heard. How we rock each other's world!"

(- Avril Lavigne)

Well that was fun to write! Considering Hantengu's backstory wasn't as detailed or shown like some of the other characters, and due the fact that he lived a relatively long human life... It made room for plenty of creativity.

[hptx7777]

I drew these yesterday out of pure boredom (Inspired by mostly Genshin’s TCG but I also did my own celestial title/tarot cards thing so I don’t confuse myself XD, I then added songs that I thought would for them, I had more thoughts with some more than others.

I’ll try and add more songs for Scott and Scar ^^

Ouroboros; The wolf • Joel

•Sleeping Giants (Crane Wives)

•Killer Queen (Mad Tsai)

•Take me to war (Crane Wives)

•Alien Blues (Vundabar)

•Portrait of a blank slate (Lovejoy)

•Partners in crime (Set it off)

Starborn; The preservation • Scott

•Unravelling (Crane Wives)

Canary; The fallen • Jimmy

•Canary in a coalmine (Crane Wives)

•Unravelling (Crane Wives)

•Easier (Crane Wives)

•Partners in Crime (Set it off)

•The well (Crane Wives)

Moon; The Hunt • Pearl

•I ain’t done (Crane Wives)

•W.I.T.C.H (Devon Cole)

•Killer Queen (Mad Tsai)

•I love you like an alcoholic (The Taxpayers)

•Alien Blues (Vundabar)

Sheep in wolfs clothing; The Butterfly • Lizzie

•Pity party (Melanie Martinez)

•Volta (Crane Wives)

•I ain’t done (Crane Wives)

•October (Crane Wives)

•Shallow River (Crane Wives)

Sun; The Watcher • Grian

•Tongues & Teeth (Crane Wives)

•Icarus (Crane Wives)

•Steady Steady (Crane Wives)

•Glacier House (Crane Wives)

•Partners in crime (Set it off)

•Hayloft 2 (Mother Mother)

I remembered the title wrong lol

Scar; The trader • Scar

•Friends on the other side (Princess and the frog)

•Curses (Crane Wives)

•Killer Queen (Queen)

•Metaphor (Crane Wives)

And my favourite part, linking songs /j

Joel+Grian+Jimmy: Partners in Crime

•Bad boys Bad boys!!

Scar+Joel: Killer Queen (Queen) (Mad Tsai)

•Magical Mountain and just,, being the villains in different ways in their respective seasons

Pearl+Joel: Alien Blues (Vundabar)

•Lonely reds who were outcasted and turned insane as a result, unhinged and mad crazy. Also lone wolves (Figuratively and literally) “I only talk to dogs because they don’t understand me” is literally 3rd life Joel and Double Life Pearl

Scott+Jimmy: Unravelling (Crane Wives)

•I’m not a Flower Husbands fan but this song feels just right for them ‘I once loved a ….’ ‘But now my love is gone’ is just,, so fitting

Grian+Scar: Icarus, Tongues & Teeth, Glacier House, Steady Steady (All Crane Wives)

•It’s just Desert Duo, these songs are only in Grian’s thing since Grian’s the one that vocalises his frustrations

[sphaxcca]

My Candy Love New Gen ep. 4 Review

Here I am after finishing the last episode of MCL New Gen ready to give my honest and unasked opinion about it. Fasten your seatbelts cause we are about to start and i'm not gonna be gentle

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...

So the episode opens with Elenda who's basically trying to drag us so bad to the Cosey Bear because apparently Castiel was serving there ( No judgement toward Elenda, i wanted to see my husband too). Unfortunately for me and her, he already had left when we showed up to the Cafe. >3>.

Seeing Lynn animated was so cute and a little bit nostalgic but nothing compared to the GASP I emitted when she started talking to Thomas and he told her he was in love with her. GEEEEZ, now i get why that kid was a pain in the ass and RUINED my pic-nic date with Tomato head, THE DOTS CONNECTED. Btw it was a very cute scene and a tribute to Iris that I hope she will show up in Thomas' route.

Moving on, inspired by Thomas' love confession, everybody starts talking about their love life (expected since the episode's name is hearts looking for love). And this is where things went horribly cringe and outrageous: Ofc i'm not talking about Elenda and Devon ( It was cute to know that she had a crush on Devon and, about him, a little peak to where the story is possibly going to lead - a busy man that works his ass off so bad for Devenementiel and has no time to date)or Amanda but about ROY and BRUNE.

Hoooooly shit, the chill of second hand embarassment that I got just by reading the interractions between these two was undescribable I swear( Elenda became basically my guide spirit: her reaction was the same i had. ). Everything was so outofcontext and nonsense that I'm actually wondering why Beemov decided it was a great idea to give space to something so....childish? I mean, we're talking about (almost) 30yo people.. and they got together because they were...desperate??????? - "Yeah with my exes things weren't doing good so we decided to date even tho we don't talk, don't touch and fell uncomfortable with each other" - COOOME ON, BFR, you guys ok? Also, I really hope that we're gonna discover something deeper about Roy (or that he's going to get a development at least) that makes him more that what i can pick up and feel from him right now: childish Gymrat fixed on pool that give us nothing. I'm genuine deluded about the way they handled this.

Moving on to JASON PART. He basically shows up when we're still talking sitted by the table. I was obviously expecting the part where he was going to be pointed out as a "womanizer" but what I DID NOT EXPECT was the reaction he had when he overhears our conversation: I felt him being sarcastic as usual but at the end i felt he was kinda....hurt??? idk if you get what i mean, he literally said he had REASONS why he doesn't want to be in full term relationship and this opens my mind to an INFINITE AMOUNT OF THEORIES

Connected to what I've read on some theories here, someone said it's because of the condition ( or the pathology) that made his hair go white...

This is a really good point but I genuine think about something else that is connected to this and the SHOCK NUMBER 2: Why Devenementiel hates Jason so much?

Apparently our "proud and superior" man with an incredible fragile ego had PLAGIARIZED the project the would have helped Devon to found Devenementiel and, because of that, he was fired and disqualified by the contest. So...first things first: PIECE OF SHIT. Secondly, I genuine would have never thought about him doing something like this and that's the reason why i don't think he did it because he wanted to but perphaps he WAS PUSHED to do so.

Another theorie said that probably he was helped by a third person that played dirty and suggested him the same project Devon did

And I have to admit that this is something very likely, but stil don't really convince me too much.

We can clearly see that Jason has a lot of money, A LOT, and by the way he has so much money i'm assuming he comes from a family that at least has the same amount of capital he has now. We got told that he was basically working as an employer (if i remember correctly) so why trying to steal something from others if you are satisfied and don't need a job? perhaps because you NEED that first place to REDEEM yourself and PROVE someone wrong at least so that.. THE END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS. That's where his family and the white hair make their part: A Dad Ceo that basically disgraced his Son because he couldn't follow or keep up with the family business or - he wasn't good enough- for the role ( and that's why the white hair, because of the stress) . Another thing that might prove this is the fact that Devon told us that he had "private investors" and...i mean, if you're broke, i don't think you can find them just by snapping your fingers and make them appear in front of you, especially when you get fired and disqualified in a competition. He could have use the "family" name and hi charisma to persuade the investors to help him found Goldreamz. And THIS leads me to the last point: Why no long term relationship? Because his family has to end with him and he's scared of the consequences that a partner can have in his life. This reminded me so much Simon from Bridgerton btw. So yeah...I might be wrong (99%) but i want to think that he's a piece of shit just because he's hurt.

His special scene was normal i guess, i love the way my candy was looking at the instagram photos be like - "i'm just studying the enemy...not doing something wrong..maybe".

In the end i decided to try for the Thomas illustration and nothing to complain about, the scene was genuine one of the most cute one in the game so fare and the ilusstration 10/10 chef's kiss and handshake by the president.

[jdsgothwife]

i love making up my own relationships for sitcom characters. jerry, elaine, george, and kramer from seinfeld are an all-bisexual polycule. jim and dwight from teh office? yeah they’re dating. god told me this because i’m his specialest girl btw. jack donaghy and devon banks? come on now of course they're husbands.