#despite the subject matter - like idk it just feels like a nice hug

[imagineagreatadventure]

Who is your favorite ans least favorite on CBS Ghosts?

favorite is trevor bc i am nothing if not predictable

least favorite is probably carol? like i wouldn't have said that a few weeks ago but they brought her on full time or something (i can't quite tell what's happening) and i'm just hoping it's a temporary arc.

[tswhiisftteedr]

Hey there, I hope your having a nice night or day, I saw that you wrote nsfw and was wondering if I could request something for chenya wit a female s/o who has a hard time gaing any weight, and a very skinny and tend to become insecure due to it.. and chenya "cheers" them up 👀

(I have this problem ☹ and would like to feel a bit better w some indulgence you know 🤷‍♀️)

Sweet-scented pigeon wing ☆ Headcanon + Drabble

☆RSA Student!Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker(Che’nya) x Skinny!Fem!Yuu!Reader :

Feeling insecure and self loathing sucks, but luckily for you, your act beastmen boyfriend Che’nya is here for you. And he’s going to ‘cheer you up to the best of his abilities!’

Warnings: Mature content, Che’nya is aged up to 18+ and NCR is an actually college, fingering, begging, not anything graphic(violence) reader is just insecure. Not proofread.

Note: Hi thanks for requesting, I’m sorry if this wasn’t what you were looking for, I’ve never written comfort for subject like body image, especially people who are ‘skinny’ as I’m more on the chubby side my self. (Working on it girly pops, I’m about to become a slim thick queen and you won’t see it coming, hdhhdjd lol) So if this isn’t to your taste I’m sorry, but I real hope it is!! Also some crack halfway through the smut, I guess it was to make it more cheerful and comforting, though idk if it’s good \:<

Before you two started dating, Che’nya had picked up on the fact that you were insecure in your appearance. Mostly wearing oversized clothes to hide your figure, and how you would panic whenever he hugged you out of nowhere, tensing as he fully embrace you in his warmth.

Back then, he used to think that the issues you had with your physic were temporarily, or mood related. ‘We all have those times we’re we feel low and unsure of oneself, right?’

Well to his somewhat ‘displeasure’ he was wrong. It’s not like he was mad at you for not liking everything about yourself, but more that it made him sad that you didn’t see ‘you’ the way he did.

Sure he understood the fact that being at risk of developing health issues like osteoporosis, higher chances for hypothermia and lower immunity system, just because of your weight, could make you insecure. And he also knew you did your best despite your struggle in weight gain.

The way he sees things, you can’t do much but you’re still already doing your max. So since you’re doing your best already, you shouldn’t worry to much about it.

He doesn’t expect you to change your opinion towards your body from one day to the other, even when you got together, he still saw the hesitation behind your eyes whenever he would compliment your looks.

But he did feel proud of the way your gaze slowly shifted through time, how you would look less ‘untrusting’ of his words after each time he would call you beautiful, cute, lovely, hot, ‘sexy mama~’, etc. The way you would wear clothes that were a bit more your size after each interaction, the way you felt more comfortable when he touch and caress you.

He knew your self doubts were still present, though he also knew that they were less dominant in your mind. As if every time he would hold your hand, hug you, kiss you, make out with you, those thoughts would be push further and further away.

Of course there were the days where those thoughts would resurface, hitting you with a wave of sadness and self loathing. Maybe someone had said something about your looks, maybe you weren’t so sure about you were wearing halfway through the day, or maybe it just one of those off day. The ones where you felt like shit no matter what you did, from the moment you awake, to the one you would fall asleep.

In cases like this, your lovely cat boy of a boyfriend would help by bringing your moral up, in his own very special way~

☆ more under the cut. ☆

You and Che'nya were hanging out in Heartslabyul’s rose maze, he had snuck once more to spend sometime with you. The both of you were laying down on the grass, staring at the clouds. When he turned to sneak a glance at your oh so beautiful face, he noticed a look of somewhat unease and despair on your face, so he decided to do something about it.

He knew what that faced meant, so he scouted closer to you slowly, his movement almost silent due to the soft grass under his body. His hands reached out suddenly, wrapping around your waist gently yet firmly before he lifted both you and himself off the ground effortlessly.

Now with you in his arms, without warning, he carried you towards the magic mirror in the dorm.

You soon found yourself back at your dorm, the ramshackle.

Once inside, he placed you down on the bed, keeping hold of one arm over your head while using his free hand to undo your buttons and zippers without hesitation.

Within moments, he had ripped your clothes apart revealing your naked body in all its glory. The sight of your figure and softness sent waves of desire coursing through him.

"You know, its pretty inconvenient for me not knowing when you’ll be down in a slump." He told you in a cheeky manner, obviously not serious. You can always count on Che’nya to tease in any given situation. “But it’s not all so bad, after all, when your like this I get to play with you.” he murmured against your neck, nipping lightly at your sensitive skin. “Though I would prefer it if it just some random fun, not me having to fuck into you just how perfect you are.” He told you with a rather serious tone, different from his usual one. Thought the softness behind his eyes told you, he wasn’t blaming or reprimanding you. He just wish you could see what he saw when he would gaze at you. But before you could think on that for too long-

"Now, lie back and enjoy yourself." Che’nya spoke out in his usual oh so casual tone.

With that said, he pushed your legs apart wider than they wanted to go and started playing with your ‘sweet-scented pigeon wing’ as he would call it.

Wait- the hell?! “Sweet-scented pigeon wing”, where does that even come from, like what the actual f- oh, right, you remember now.

Sweet-scented pigeon wing from potionology, it’s also known as Clitoria fragrans hence their vaginal shape. What a fucking bastard that he is for calling your coochie that!

Well at least if you had any doubts about sex, your mind was now well off them. But before your mental insulting and name calling of your boyfriend could continue anymore, it was abruptly cut short, by the one you were previously cursing out.

As Che'nya touched your sensitive areas, you could feel a mix of pleasure and shock coursing through your body. His cold hands contrasted with the warmth that was beginning to spread between your legs. He teased you mercilessly, rubbing circles around your clit before dipping his fingers inside of you. Every move sent waves of ecstasy throughout your entire being, making it hard for you to resist him.

In response to his actions, you arched your back involuntarily, moaning softly as he continued to torment you. "Che’nya stop... please..." You begged, but there was no real resistance in your voice. Instead, it sounded more like pleading for more.

"Feeling good, aren't you?" he purred, nibbling on your earlobe playfully. "You know you want this." With that, he pushed two fingers deep inside of you, stretching you wider than ever before. The sudden invasion caused another loud moan to escape your lips, followed by a whimper as he began to thrust them in and out of you rhythmically.

Che'nya chuckled at your moans and whimpers, loving the power he had over you. He increased the pace of his thrusts, going faster and harder until you were on the brink of orgasm. Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, he pulled out suddenly, leaving you panting and yearning for more.

"Not yet," he purred teasingly. "I want you begging for it, and obviously you got to explain why you deserve it, also you being attractive must be one of those reasons, ‘Kay!” With that cryptic remark, he stepped back slightly, exposing his erect member to your eager eyes. It was throbbing with anticipation.

You couldn't help but stare at his thick, throbbing dick, your eyes widening in a mixture of fear and desire. "W-What do you want me to say? T-That I... need this?" Your voice cracked slightly as he stepped closer again, pushing his cockhead against your entrance.

"Good girl," he praised, before sliding the head inside of you slowly. "Now tell me why else you deserve it." His pace remained slow, allowing you to adjust to his size while teasing both of them.

You bit your lower lip nervously, trying to gather your thoughts. "I... umm... I guess because... uh... well... it feels so good when you touch me like this... And that I’ve been good ..” You managed to stutter out between pants.

"And?"

"And, I suppose... that I'm somewhat pretty." You reply.

"You 'suppose' that you're 'somewhat pretty'? Hmm, I don't think that's going to cut it. You need to be confident about that sort of thing, especially if you want me to start pounding my dick into you." He tells you, giggling.

You blush bright red, feeling both embarrassed and aroused by his words. "I... I-I mean..." Stuttering again, you gather your courage and look him straight in the eyes. "I'm beautiful, okay? Okay?"

His grin widened as he heard these words leave your lips. "That's more suitable," he praised. He increased his pace little by little, gradually thrusting deeper inside of you. Each powerful stroke sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, making it difficult for you to maintain composure.

"You smell so damn good," Che'nya groaned, burying his face in your neck and sucking on your tender skin. His hands moved downwards, once more, grabbing your legs firmly and spreading them wider apart, exposing your wet and needy pussy to his hungry gaze. "Yes, you are perfect, there’s no other way to think about it."

You blushed deeply at his words, feeling both embarrassed and aroused. "I... I mean, I—!"

Before you could finish your sentence, he thrust himself fully inside of you without warning, stretching your tight hole to accommodate him completely. A cry of pleasure mixed with pain escaped from your lips as he began to move steadily, claiming you body inch by slow but powerful inch. Each time he pulled out slightly, only to push back in deeper than before, hitting your G-spot just right, sending waves of intense ecstasy coursing through your entire being.

"That's better," he praised between heavy breaths. "You sound so much better when you aren’t worrying about how you look, but instead of how deep I’m fucking you." He said that last part with a snicker.

You moaned in pure ecstasy as he continued to thrust into you, his thick member stretching and filling up every inch of your tight passage. The combination of pleasure and pain was almost too much for you to handle, but somehow, you wanted more.

"Oh god, Che'nya," you cried out, arching your back towards him. "I want... more..." Your words came out breathless and desperate.

He picked up the pace even faster, pounding into you relentlessly. Each powerful thrust caused a loud slapping sound against your sensitive flesh, adding an erotic rhythm to their passionate dance. His hands gripped tightly onto your legs, leaving marks on your skin as evidence of their intensity.

"That's it, baby," he groaned, his voice hoarse with desire. "Take all of me." Owing to his size, each deep penetration felt like hitting a new level of pleasure that left you begging for more.

Feeling his orgasm building up inside of him, Che'nya slowed down slightly, savoring every moan and whimper that escaped from your lips. "I can feel how close you are too," he panted between breaths.

"C-Come with me..." his voice cracked as he spoke those words, urging you to reach climax alongside him.

The feeling intensified beyond anything you could have imagined, pushing you closer to the edge of ecstasy. And then, just when you thought it couldn't get better, another powerful thrust sent waves of pure bliss coursing through your body, sending you over the edge into a mind-numbing orgasm unlike anything you had ever experienced before. Your entire being shook with intense pleasure as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss washed over you, leaving you completely lost in the moment.

As for Che'nya, he held on tightly, his own release drawing near. With one final, forceful thrust, he let out a primal growl, burying himself deep within you to the hilt. Quickly pulling out, his hot seed spurted forth, painting your stomach and chest with thick, sticky cum. He stayed there for a moment, observing his work. “See, your such a lovely thing.” Was all he said while looking at your fucked out face and and cum cover body.

Thanks anon for requesting!

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[squishneedsahero]

Dancing and Drunken Cuddles

All or Nothing

Part 2 of 1

Word Count: 2646

Uhhh idk y'all I have cravings and just need to get them out. As always no smut cause we sex repulsed up in this house babes. Anyways this is a Loki x Bucky x Reader imagine. And also the reader is a werewolf.

Like I said it's a lot and idk but I needed it to be written

A/N: Shout out to @superheroesandstardust fueling me to write this with some sweet tags on the last part.

Exhausted. That was what you were, nothing but exhausted as you lay on the floor of your containment cell. It had been an especially rough night in your wolf form, both of your boys weren't there since they had to go on a mission, and they'd figured out a way to calm you down on the nights of the full moon. It wasn't much and you were still extremely dangerous but with a combination of Loki's magic and the both of them holding you but it helped with the stress and made the transition the next morning more bearable.

So, yeah, not having them there to calm your nerves, plus an especially hard night, you couldn't bring yourself to get up off the floor. They weren't even there for you if you got up and went to your shared quarters, so, you might as well stay there until you have the energy to get up. You end up falling asleep right there on the padded floor, which made sense seeing as you didn't sleep on these nights, meaning you were up for over 24 hours at least.

You wake up around noon, sitting your head up you're surprised to see that you weren't in your cell but in your bed. From there you realize you're thoroughly trapped with two sets of arms around you, a head using your stomach as a pillow and a tangle of legs at the end of the bed. You relax your head back, letting it fall to the side, bringing you face to face with a sleeping Loki, yeah, you weren't getting out of here any time soon if your moving hadn't disturbed them at all.

It wasn't so bad to be trapped in their arms, you honestly loved it, the only problem was you were starving. When you were a werewolf all you wanted to do was eat, you couldn't do that though because humans didn't need to be eaten, but all the energy that went into transforming then trying to shred the walls of your cell as you tried to get free then transforming back, left you running on empty.

Oh so carefully you begin to untangle your legs from their's, then you begin escaping their arms. You're so focused on doing so without disturbing your two boys that you don't notice the fact that their legs once again entrap yours or that an arm you'd thought you'd gotten out from under was back around you. You keep trying, slowly growing more and more frustrated.

"She's quite cute when she's frustrated, don't you think?" you hear a voice say with a hint of a smirk to it.

"I believe she is, but she's always cute, though I do think she might begin trying to kill us if we don't let her go eat soon," the voice comes from the head on your stomach.

Your head flops back onto the pillow with a groan. "Might?" you ask with a hint of sarcasm as a hand cards through the hair on your scalp.

"Fine, love, I suppose the two of us can make do without you for a time," Loki responds in your ear as his arms remove themselves from around you.

You turn your head to look at one of the two men you loved so dearly, "thank you my trickster, it was quite difficult being without you last night."

You feel Bucky roll over on your other side and move so his head is by your's and Loki's rather than on your stomach, "hey, what about me?" he asks teasingly.

You give each of them a kiss, "yes, yes you too Bucky." You say as you get off the bed, "though I'm sure the two of you didn't miss me nearly as much since you had each other," you say with a dramatic hand to your forehead as you walk out of the room. Unfortunately for everyone else in the compound Loki's taste for theatrics had begun to rub off on you and Buck.

When you head down stairs you find everyone hanging out on the couches around a coffee table piled with pizza, you don't hesitate to grab an entire box and plop yourself down on the couch next to Nat.

"The beast as awoken I see," Tony  taunts.

Once you shoot him a glare you say, "yeah, I have and I haven't eaten yet so I suggest you shut your trap before I decide to eat something besides pizza."

"I'm sure theres a reason she's down here without those two love sick puppies Tony, on that note keep taunting her it seems like fun to watch," Clint says from his spot on the other side of Nat.

Tony shuts up after that, leaving you alone to eat. "So, how'd things go?" you ask Steve, since you always felt bad when you couldn't join them due to wolfing out. They brief you on what happened and how they all got some sleep in the quinjet, except those two boyfriend's of yours who were up all night worrying about you. That gets a smile out of you as you finish off another piece of pizza. You roll your eyes, "I told them I'd be fine," you say, blushing a bit, knowing how over protective they could be.

"My brother isn't one to leave the things he loves alone," Thor says.

"Yeah," you say softly, a smile coming to your face as you think about it, as much as Loki got on your nerves for being possessive and over protective it was cute.

"Oh, now you've done it- y/n is being sappy."

That gains Clint a glare from you. Nat jumps in to change the subject from off of your love life, since you could be just as overprotective as the other two thirds of your relationship despite you being a bit more subtle about it. "So, the three of you planning on joining us for Tony's party this evening?" she asks.

This causes you to pause, you'd been in this relationship for nearly a year now, but you all preferred to keep it quiet. So, this meant you didn't usually go to parties together since when you got the least bit tipsy you had trouble keeping your hands off of them, "not sure, I'll ask." The three of you were reformed war criminals, you weren't exactly sure how the world would take it knowing you were all in a relationship. Sure, you kept each other stable, Bucky was reformed, Loki didn't want to take over the world anymore, but you on the other hand were still dangerous even if you didn't want to be. No matter what you did you'd all always be seen as threats.

An hour later you're back in bed with your boys, "Tony's having a party this evening, do you guys want to go?" you ask.

Loki answers first from his place propped on his elbows over you and Bucky, "it's up to you two, I've always said I have no problems with going to a party and being able to show the world that you're mine."

You giggle, your heart fluttering as it always does when he calls you his, and turn your head to look at Bucky, "what about you Bucky?"

"It's been a while since I was able to go out dancing," he says, fingers combing through Loki's hair, "I'd love to spend the night doing that with my two favorite people, doll," he says to you.

You smile, "then it's settled, we'll go out tonight and let the world know that you're both mine and I'm yours," you giggle once more before leaning to kiss Bucky's stubbly cheek.

You movement opens your neck up for Loki to press a kiss to it, "that sounds perfect darling," he practically purrs. From there he turns and kisses Bucky, "right love?" he asks him.

"It does, Lo," he responds, his hand once again running through the other man's hair. A smile settles on your face, everything was perfect.

"Love," you use Bucky's pet name, "could you zip me up?" You ask hours later as you turn your back to him, after asking for help with your dress.

"Of course doll," he responds gently and you feel him run a finger up your spine before he zips up your dress that matched your eyes beautifully. His arms then settle around your waist and trap you against him, you giggle as you feel him lean down to press a kiss behind your ear.

You turn around and lock your arms around his neck, "I love you," you say softly and kiss his lips.

"Might I say, the two of you look ravishing this evening," Loki's voice says from the doorway before he comes over to join in the hug. "It's going to be quite the challenge to be sure that no one else looks at either of you."

You laugh and turn your head to look at him, "I could say the same for you darling," you free a hand to cup his cheek and give him a kiss, "I cannot keep others from looking at me, but I can tell you the only attention I want or need is yours and Buck's."

Loki turns his attention to Bucky with a slight shake of his head, "I suppose," he says running a hand through the other man's hair, "I could play nice for this evening."

Bucky laughs gently and kisses Loki, "at least for a little, you probably don't want the wolf mad at us again, especially cause last time she kicked us out of the bed for the night."

You laugh and shake your head, "that's a lie and you know it. I tried to kick you out of bed but as soon as the both of you gave me those puppy dog eyes you've perfected I let you right back in bed."

"Tsk," Loki clicks his tongue, "no worries darling, the two of us will behave," he pauses and smirks at Bucky, "until we're alone... You on the other hand, I'd be surprised if you can keep your hands off of us, y/n."

This gains a pout from you, "it's not my fault you two can't get drunk," you mutter. They both laugh at your reaction to their teasing before each one linking an arm with yours and escorting you out of the room and down to where the party was being hosted.

The room is set up magnificently, Tony knew how to host a good party, as always it would start out with some casual conversations, drinking and dancing. After the first couple hours it could then go one of two ways, elegant and royal ball like, or like a club with everyone hammered and dancing up on each other. No matter which way the party ended up going all of you always had fun with it.

The three of you weren't exactly late, but you entered after enough people arrived to cause a bit of a scene as everyone's heads turned to see you with an attractive man on each arm walk into the party. You immediately forget their teasing from a few minutes previous and let go of their arms to go get a drink from the bar. They both shake their heads, exasperated but knowing they were in for a fun night. "Might I have this dance, Love?" Loki asks, offering a hand to Bucky.

Bucky accepts the hand with a smile, he hadn't danced for reals since the 40s and he was excited, he'd always loved dancing and so had Loki. They move amazingly together, and you're more than happy to just sit and watch your two boys twirl one another around the dance floor since dancing wasn't so much your thing as it was theirs. They go on for a few songs and when they finally stop they were glowing with happiness. as they then approach you at the table where you had settled yourself with your drink.

"May I doll?" Bucky then asks you to dance and you accept before following him out to the dance floor. The night continues on like this the three of you taking turns dancing together, clearly together for everyone to see, and you of course get a little handsy later in the evening once you're a bit more than tipsy.

Finally all the guests leave and this leave the three of you and the rest of the team sitting around a table chatting and drinking some more. It's at this point that Thor brings out the Asgardian liquor dubbed "excelsior" and pours out four shot glasses, passing one to Steve, Bucky and Loki before keeping one for himself. Your two boys take the glasses offered to them, glancing at each other then you, happily zoned out across their laps, before taking the shots.

Bucky had one of your hands trapped in his and Loki was dealing with your other one that kept trying to creep up his shirt. You were lucky you were cute because you were quite the handful as drunk as you were. They weren't more than a little tipsy from the Asgardian mead they'd had access too, now the excelsior was beginning to set in for them, and let them both get drunk for once. They were still interested in talking with the others while you had given up on conversation a while before, preferring to lounge on them and keep trying to make out with them.

They were having fun with their friends and brothers so they were succeeding with ignoring you for the time being. Plus you were tired out from dancing so even if you did manage to drag them back to the room you'd only pass out after maybe a few kisses. You free your hand from Bucky's eventually to begin running it through his hair while your other hand continues to rest just under the edge of Loki's now untucked button up shirt.

Once the stronger stuff had been consumed by the two men, the three of you didn't last long remaining with the others. It had been really easy for you to get them to carry you to your bed, sure they weren't as drunk as you but now they were more than just tipsy, It had just been a matter of you pulling Bucky into an awkwardly angled kiss, since you were lying across his lap, and the hand that was resting on Loki's side moving so your fingers were just under the waistband of his pants. With that the three of you were getting off the couch, you being carried in Bucky's arms while Loki puts his arm around both of you and teleports you to your room.

Once you're in your bedroom you're suddenly motivated to move on your own, slipping out of Bucky's arms and standing on your own. You struggle with your dress for a few moments, forgetting about the zipper, before Loki rescues you. You giggle drunkenly and kiss his cheek before stripping down to your underwear, stealing one of their shirts off the chair it had been thrown over and flopping down on your side of the bed and promptly passing out. It wasn't exactly your side since you were usually in the middle but they made do, climbing in on the other side of the bed.

They organize themselves and get comfortable, letting Loki be the little spoon and Bucky the big spoon. At least until you roll over and throw an arm and a leg over top of both of them and slip your other arm and leg underneath them to make yourself the biggest of all the spoons. Somehow you're comfortable despite the fact that you are in a position similar to that of a sloth in a tree, completely wrapped around them.

[allfandomxreader]

Home for the Holidays (1)

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Summary: Everything looks just about the same, minus the few stop signs that were added to the town’s main street or houses that got renovated. It never fails to amaze you how quickly things can change around here, even if you’ve only been gone a few months. Either way, it still feels like home.

Warnings: Language, very minor anxiety mention. It’s a clusterfuck, brace yourselves. 

Words: 2.3k

Part: 1/5? 6? idk yet

A/N: I’ve been thinking about doing this mini series for a few days and I'm absolutely in love. Also thank you so much @harringtown​ for letting me ramble about my ideas. As always, feedback is loved and appreciated :) Not my gif!

Series Masterlist // Stranger Things Masterlist

With a week before Christmas, to say your apartment had any sort of holiday cheer would be an understatement. There’s not a wreath on the door, a lit tree in the corner, or stockings hanging on the wall. You don’t mind this, neither does your roommate, Luke. Buying gaudy ornaments that would just shatter on the hardwood didn’t sound appealing. So, the two of you agreed the home would remain free of decor this season.

Luke sits across from you, delicately tying a bow around the present you asked him to wrap. Between work and finals, you saved preparing for the journey home until the very last second. This resulted in the living room floor being covered paper scraps, mismatched ribbons, and somehow glitter. Turns out, keeping your apartment ridden of Christmas is harder than you thought.

“Jesus, do you think you bought enough?” Luke gestures towards the pile of presents that remain untouched.

“Well, most of them are for Dustin, and I wanted to get The Party something they could all use together,” You try to explain, “They’re all just growing up so fast I don’t know what interests them anymore.” You say with a huff, grabbing another present to begin wrapping.

“And this all has to be done tonight?”

“Unless you want to wake up early tomorrow morning before we leave to do it, yes.” Luke doesn’t say anything after that, seemingly content with staying up late.

Two weeks ago, he let it slip he wasn’t visiting his family over the holidays while your mother was on FaceTime. To her, that was just simply unacceptable and insisted he’d join the Henderson household for break. To this day, you aren’t sure how spending time in Hawkins is more enjoyable than with his family in Colorado, but nevertheless, he agreed.

Of course, it took some convincing from you and your mother. He didn’t want to impose on any of the silly traditions that your friends and family have taken up over years. But your mother had no problem setting out an extra placemat for her Christmas Eve feast. Honestly, having Luke come put your nerves at ease. It’s always a little overwhelming to return to Hawkins.

The two of you don’t talk for nearly an hour, engrossed in perfecting box corners. “Wait,” He says breaking the silence, looking around the floor. You don’t look up, you’re too busy googling how to wrap a mug. “All of these are for the kids–” He points to the still growing pile of presents beside you.

“Teens,” You correct, knowing they’d have your head on a stick for being called anything else.

“Right, teens. These are for your mom,” He gestures towards only a cluster of gifts, “Then these are Robbin, Nancy and her boyfriend…”

“Johnathon,” You fill in the name for him.

“Yes, Johnathon,” He trails off again, still looking at the remaining presents behind you. “What’d you get Steve?”

You look up at him then, the worries of the unwrapped gift lost somewhere in the back of your mind. “It’s back home.” You shrug simply, hoping he’ll drop the subject.

“You haven’t been home since the summer, how is that even possible?”

“If I tell you, you can’t laugh,” You warn. He only raises his pinky as a silent promise. “When we were younger, we made this time capsule thing and said we’d open it once we were in college. When it felt right. I don’t know it… It feels right.”

“Oh,” He sings, “Is this how you’re finally going break the news you’ve been in love with him for the past ten years? Very Hallmark-y.”

“Don’t be a dick about it!” You laugh, throwing an empty tape roll at him.

“I’m not!” He quickly stifles his laughter, trying his best not to smile. “How were you even planning on giving that to him, dig it up yourself?”

“I don’t know, shovel with a bow? We always said we’d do it together.” Luke laughs at this, not even trying to hide it anymore.

“You cannot give him a shovel and a bow!” He practically screeches.

“I thought it was cute and sentimental!” You try your best to sound angry but fail between laughs, “Fuck it, now I’m insecure. He’s getting something else.”

“No, no, it’s really cute. Also, Christmas is literally in a week.”

“We’ll just go get something with Robin, easy.” You say, unlocking your phone to attempt wrapping the mug again.

“Suit yourself. Either way, I think you should tell him. I could even be your wingman.” He says, going back to whatever present that held his attention before.

“Fuck off,” You chuck a wad of discarded wrapping paper towards his head, settling into quiet once more.

The drive to Hawkins took longer than expected. You never realized how often Luke peed even with him living across the hall. By the time you make it past city limits, you’re exhausted.

Everything looks just about the same, minus the few stop signs that were added to the town’s main street or houses that got renovated. It never fails to amaze you how quickly things can change around here, even if you’ve only been gone a few months. Either way, it still feels like home.

Unlike main street, your house looks exactly the same as you pull into the driveway, under all the Christmas lights that is. They don’t look the best, you aren’t sure how your mother tricked Dustin and the others to hang them, but it was a good effort.

You don’t need to be inside to know the obnoxious wallpaper hasn’t been removed and the green paint is still chipped. No matter how many times you’ve told your mother the house is screaming for a makeover, a part of you has missed the outdated abode. Not that you’d ever say it out loud.  

Your mother screeches as she opens the door, sprinting down the steps before you can even get out of your car. “Dustin! Y/N’s home!” She calls, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Hi, Mom.” You manage to say. “Hey, nerd!” You call towards your brother standing on the porch, refusing to step into the cold air. Even from here you can tell his hair is a little longer and he stands a little taller since the last time you saw him.

“You must be Luke,” Your mother exclaims, throwing her arms around him as well. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person.”

“You too, Ms. Henderson.”

“Oh, please, call me Claudia.” She waves her hands in dismissal. “Dustin, come help grab some bags!” With a groan and a single eyeroll, he obeys. You ruffle his hair as he passes you.

The four of you take separate trips unloading bags until finally it’s just the presents left. Dustin’s retreated back into his usual spot in the living room and your mother puts finishing touches on dinner. You and Luke, however, are bent over the trunk, trying your best to organize the boxes into piles.

Somewhere behind you, a car door opens and closes. You don’t pay much attention, too focused on separating Dustin’s gifts from everyone else’s.

“Well, well, well, look who it is,” You don’t need to turn around to know the voice belongs to Steve. By the time you turn around to face him, you’re already grinning.

“Steve!” You squeal, running into his open arms. You breathe him in for as long as time allows, his scent almost foreign from months spent apart. When he holds you, as cliché and Hallmark-y as it sounds, it feels right. “I thought you weren’t getting in until tomorrow.” You say, reluctantly pulling away from this warmth.

“I finished finals early, thought I’d stop by to see if you were home yet.” He shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Wow, Steve on top of his shit? Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?”

“Maybe the thought of seeing you made me want to finish early,” He says coolly. You roll your eyes out of habit, despite the butterflies erupting within your stomach.

“Keep it in your pants, Harrington.” You’re about to ask him a list of questions, how’d your finals go? Did you pass sociology? How’d your economics professor like your project? You wanted to know everything, to tell him how much you’ve missed him and talking on FaceTime doesn’t do it justice.

But the conversation was cut short at the arrival of a stranger beside him. She had long, black hair, rosy cheeks from the cold, and an award-winning smile. She was absolutely stunning.

“Oh shit, sorry,” Steve laughs, throwing an arm over her shoulders. “Y/N, this is my girlfriend, Margot.”

And there it was.

For a moment you swear the world stopped turning. A range of emotions wash over you, jealousy, anger, sadness. You can’t tell which one you feel the most. The butterflies you felt moments ago slowly died, you’re afraid if you say a word, you’ll cough wings onto the pavement.

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Steve never shuts up about you.” She giggles, cuddling closer into his side to shield herself from the cold.

The irony, Steve never mentioned you once.

“Wow, hi!” You sound overly cheerful once you break from your trance. “Luke?” You choke, desperate to find a way out of the conversation. It feels like an eternity as he makes his way towards you. “This is my boyfriend, Luke.” He freezes for a moment, cocking his head slightly to the side, something he always does when he’s stunned. you don’t think the couple notices “Luke, this is Steve and his girlfriend, Margot.”

“I thought you were just roommates,” Steve looks between the two of you, quizzingly.

“We didn’t know how to tell everyone, especially our parents.” Luke says, snaking his arm around your waist.

“Yeah,” You cough, “We didn’t want the judgement of moving in together so quickly, you know how Claudia is.” You force a chuckle, leaning into Luke’s side more. Steve only laughs, nodding in agreement, seemingly buying the story. There’s an awkward silence that follows.

“Well, we’ll let you get situated and spend time with your mom and brother. He misses you a lot, but you didn’t hear that from me.” Steve says finally, smiling down at the girl wrapped around him. “Good meeting you, Luke. We’ll see you both tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You stretch your lips into what hopefully looks like a smile towards the two of them. Margot offers a shy wave before they turn to leave.

The two of you walk quickly inside, neither of you speaking. You tell your mother the two of you need to freshen up before dinner, an excuse to get her off your back for more than five minutes. You beeline towards your bedroom, Luke following closely behind.

“What the fuck was that?” He whispers, once safely inside your bedroom.

“I don’t know, okay? I panicked. I was completely ambushed with his girlfriend. Since when does Steve have a girlfriend? And why didn’t he tell me?” You say, your pacing is muffled by the carpeted floor. “This is fine, right? Yeah, this is totally fine. We can pretend we’re dating for a while. And when we get back home, we can just say we’re better off as friends. No harm done –and nobody has to know.”

“I’m sorry, you do know that I’m gay, right?” This made you freeze. You had assumptions, he never outright told you, you never asked.

“Yes? No? Maybe? I don’t know –I mean I thought so but you never told me!” You scramble for an answer to his question.

“I thought you knew, I figured you heard my Grindr notifications!” He whispers, flailing his arms as he speaks.

“That’s what that sound is?” You start pacing again, mind reeling with ways to get you out of the mess you created. “I could just say I meant to say roommate instead of boyfriend, yeah?” You nod, as if that was the solution to your problem. “Fuck, no, we can’t even do that –you went along with it!” You tug at your hair in frustration, “What are we going to do?” You sigh, running your hands over your face. Despite it being freezing outside, your face is hot to the touch. “You know what, I’ll just tell the truth. I’ll say I panicked and you were just being a good friend.” You say with a sigh.

“No, don’t do that you’ll look desperate and make us both look stupid.” The two of you stare at each other for a moment. You feel as though you could burst into tears, from embarrassment or anxiety, you can’t be sure. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay,” His voice is calmer now, it’s the one he uses when you’ve had a bad day at work or when you got stood up on a date. Just the sound almost makes you sick. “I pretended to be straight all of high school, I’m pretty sure I can do it again.”

“Did everyone believe you?” He opens his mouth as if he’s going to agree but quickly shuts it once more. “Oh my god, we’re screwed.”

“Hey, I was in theater, how hard can this be?” You let out a laugh, a sad one, but a laugh nevertheless.

“And on the bright side, we’ll never fall in love with each other like they do in the movies.” You try your best to find light in this newfound situation, mainly for yourself.

“Even if I were straight, you’d be the last person I’d want to date. You’re a nightmare to live with.” Luke admits dryly.

“Okay, ouch.” You grumble, taking a seat on the edge of your bed.

Happy Holidays, everyone. You think to yourself as you fall back onto your childhood sheets. But by now you should know, Christmas never goes as planned in Hawkins.

Forevertags: @superfrankie111​ // @rueinn // @lemonadeorange73​ // @simplechicwithacrazedheart​ // @youshutthefuckupville​ // @captainpeggy40 // @alexdamereysmith // @llatpdnmm​ // @dummiesshort​ // @quaksonhehe​

Steve Tags: @empathetic-vibrations // @loulouloueh​

[stargaze-issei]

— 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤, 𝐛𝐨 !

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; catching feelings as fuck buddies with bokuto.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; suggestive themes.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; idk lol

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 1470

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; this is more a word dump and i'm not sure if it makes sense bc i wrote this in class. anyways, bokuto brainrot 😌

a glance across his bed sheets was enough to delight your sight with bokuto’s broad back, you could hear his deep breath and imagine his strong chest going up and down, just to let yourself drown in the peace of a morning after. the chances of spending a night with him were high, but mornings were a different matter. his figure always laid by your side for a few minutes, both trying to catch your breath back. such an intimate touch you shared minutes ago only for him to avoid your skin now. once koutaro rested enough, he usually got up, dressed while talking about a random topic, never addressing to your close encounters and kissed your head goodbye before leaving your house. that’s what you agreed to, although it always hurt to see how easy it was for him.

he turned around, still completely asleep, his hands searching for you in bed. you thought, he searched for you, you hoped. there’s no harm in dreaming, you would say to yourself, unless those fantasies involved a future with someone who, in reality, didn’t want you. not the way you did. 

“did i wake you?” his voice was raspier than usual, despite being almost whispering it made you jump on your place. “was i snoring?” bokuto’s arm found its way to wrap you in a hug, bringing you closer to him. your heart started to race at the sudden touch, he wasn’t entirely naked anymore, and it wasn’t the first nor the last time you touched his bare chest, but sex couldn’t compare with feeling his strong arms pulling you in, his warm chest providing you of the needed hot, feeling his breath on your neck. 

“uh, no, i woke up a while ago” you answered. although you barely got any sleep, to be near kou was enough to keep you in your tiptoes through the whole night.

“are you hungry? i think i have some leftovers from dinner” 

“we’re having breakfast? i thought—” a sleepy chuckled abandoned his throat at your comment, interrupting you. he, again, accommodated himself in bed, taking distance from you as before.

“before all this, the sex i mean, we used to hang out a lot” bokuto reminds you teasingly, rubbing his eyes in order to wake up. “let’s go, we’re eating, take one of my shirts, you know where everything is” as his usual self, a stroke of energy hit him out of nowhere, making him jump outside of bed. 

you sat, looking straight at him. the only piece of clothing he had on was his underwear, his hair was down and some scratches were left on his back. he walked towards the window to open the curtain and let the morning sun in, a wide smile planted on his face, contagiously making you smile too. what bokuto said before kept wondering in your mind, the time before your agreement, when he was just your friend, when that bubbly feeling in your stomach at the sight of him didn’t exist.

“come on, get up!” he bugged you, throwing one of his shirts to you. you smiled at his playfulness, a trait you hadn’t seen in a long time. your meetings slowly became less friendly and more focused on other subjects. before, you would know what he was stressing about and what he wanted to do for the weekend, now, instead, you knew that if you kissed the crook of his neck, a soft moan came out unpurposely of his mouth, or that his eyes rolled up and his mouth half opened when you caressed his inner thighs. 

with a sigh, you pushed yourself out of bed, putting the given shirt above your shoulders. despite the subtle smell of soap, a hint of bokuto’s characteristic mint scent was still perceptible, provoking your head to go a little dizzy. you walked outside the room, following bokuto to the kitchen, where he was already preparing the scrambled eggs.

“i thought we were having leftovers.” you joked, sitting close to him to admire his morning face. it never failed to amaze you how effortlessly beautiful koutaro could be.

“we haven’t actually spent time together in a while, our reunion deserves more than leftovers.” his words were accompanied by a wink. you knew anything he said had no secret meaning, he was just blatantly showing his character, his nice, charming character, captivating everyone around him, including you. his acts had no malice hidden in them, you were aware of that, bokuto was just one of those people.

“what do you mean? we saw each other like a week ago” you knew what he meant, you knew it better than him, but playing dumb was the only way you had to hide your true feelings.

as you ate, he told you all about his practice with the black jackals, his new teammates, how amazing they were and how excited he was to play in a professional team. he had been beyond busy, promoting the team and himself, hence to why he barely had time to reach to you or anyone outside his volleyball world. he talked about hinata, his so called apprentice, his new setter “nowhere better than akaashi'', and the second best hitter of his team, behind him. hours went by as both of you told stories and laughed over them, bonding like you did when you first met. for a moment, you thought maybe your love wasn’t as one sided as you thought, his smiles, his glowing eyes, his hugs and jokes, could easily point at that wished situation, where you could openly fall in love with him and not being just a sex compannion for the day. 

“yeah, i know, but– we didn’t exactly speak” bokuto seemed oddly comfortable in the kitchen, talking and looking for anything he needed. he kneeled in front of a cabinet, took out a wooden plank, and then placed the pan above it, in front of you. “voilá” he grinned.

the sun wasn’t up in the sky anymore, sunset lights painted the whole of bokuto’s living room, including the coach where you both sat. his arm was across your shoulders, your head rested on his chest, and his loose hand played with your head. you could've swore that was your place in the world, always beside him, the ray of hope of having a reciprocate love with bokuto koutaro made you feel like floating. his lips searched your head before taking away his hug and getting up from the couch.

“it’s getting late, i’ll drive you home.” he offered, a soft gesture forming in his face. you accepted, any excuse to be around him for a few more minutes was enough for you.

the drive to your place was quiet, he seemed focused on the roads so he didn’t notice your constant staring, or so you thought. bokuto wasn’t as clueless as everyone thought, he paid attention to details and made pretty accurate conclusions, that he decided to keep them to himself was something else. he had an idea of what was behind your staring, your longing touch, your sad glances everytime he left you in bed. he had already figured out what was going on on your mind, and he would be a liar if he said he hadn’t questioned himself in those exact situations. he felt different when he was with you, since the beginning, even before your pact, you were always special to bokuto. but he knew, in the bottom of his heart, he knew he couldn’t profess his somewhat feelings for you. first, because he had no time for anything besides his career, and he was sure you deserved someone who devoted their heart to you as much as you did for them. second, he didn’t have the heart to tell you he knew all along. you were his friend, his most precious friend, and break your heart was not a thing he could bear. 

bokuto parked outside your door, shooting a quick glance at you before unlocking the door. you looked at him, searching for a sign that gave him off. unlucky for you, bokuto was set on keeping his things to himself, convinced that he was doing the right thing to keep you unharmed. a sigh left your mouth before opening your door.

“i guess i’ll see you later, bo” a hint of sadness was in your voice, but bokuto couldn’t bring himself to do anything but say goodbye.

“sure, i’ll call you next weekend to our regular appointment” accompanied with a wink on his face.

you got off, trying to hold back the tears gathering in your eyes. if you had looked back, you would’ve seen bokuto’s heart breaking as he watched you walk away from him. 

maybe i was making it all up.

[headofhelios]

Ok I am a single follower but I like hannibal tv but would enjoy ur movie thoughts I like some of the books too and have been meaning to get around to the movies 😳😳

OKAY I'M EDITING A READMORE ONTO THIS LOL I REALIZED THATS SOMETHING I CAN DO! so now my incredibly waaayyy too long answer abt my thoughts on 2002 will is under there. apologies bc this is less "movie thoughts" and more "2002 movie will thoughts" but well thats how the chips fell

GOD okay sooo for the record i am reading the red dragon book and am like 7 or 8 chapters in and full transparency im not like. enjoying it lol. the book pisses me off with its misogyny (all the women in it are either dead or it feels like you're supposed to think theyre Selfish Bitches or theyre just there for like. bizarre and uncomfortable sexual moments like the guys talking abt that woman in the elevator, or that one part of mrs. leeds diary which is like. i guess could be there to Show Her Humanity or whatever but 1. there are more ways to do that 2. the book doesnt seem particularly concerned with her humanity considering she's barely even given a first name and so far the novel hasnt seemed to disapprove of how will thinks of her as a possession of her husband) and its inconsistency with will's most important character trait or whatever (he's so intensely, extremely empathetic towards EVERYONE, even serial killers, which makes him really good at finding them! and he can never turn this off, to the point where every time he has a conversation with someone, he ends up mimicking the way they talk, even if he tries to stop! but also he never empathizes with the victims or HIS OWN FUCKING WIFE? HELLO? so it really feels less like "extremely strong empathy for everyone that he cant control" and more like "he can empathize with serial killers extremely well and also other people if we want to Make A Point in one scene instead of letting the point show through the whole book") BUT UHHH ANYWAY. MOVIE THOUGHTS. THE MOVIE THOUGHTS YOU ASKED FOR COMING RIGHT UP!

okay this is what i am worried will either 1. draw annoying tv will graham stans to my blog like flies or 2. end with me being hanged in the town square BUT. it must be said. i prefer 2002 red dragon will graham to tv will graham. and quite frankly? so far? i think 2002 red dragon will graham is better than book will graham. i cannot lie.

my reasoning: because 2002 will actually empathizes with more people than serial killers and his boss! y'know! like you'd assume someone with constant extreme empathy would! the difference between the first scene with molly in the book vs in the movie are SO striking to me now that i've read that part of the novel. in the novel he seems very... rough, i guess, and like he doesnt care about molly's worries. he doesnt seem to see things from her perspective, which especially feels like a kick to the gut because MOLLY! SEES! THINGS! FROM! HIS! PERSPECTIVE!!! she literally empathizes with him more than he does with her! what the fuck! MEANWHILE in the movie, he does seem to care about her. his assurances that he wont get too involved seem like assurances rather than him trying to get her off his back. he hugs her and tells her he loves her and i actually believe that yeah, he loves her, he knows she's worried about him, and he wants to comfort her and ease her worries. and the victims! AGAIN such a stark difference to me! in the book, will is like... uncomfortable empathizing w the red dragon, of course, but he doesnt seem to empathize with the victims all that much, ESPECIALLY not the women. he doesnt care about them. he sees them as possessions belonging to their husbands and its so fucking gross. despite already suspecting that the red dragon chooses families based on the women, he decides to waste time focusing on the husbands as a way of "asking permission to look at [their wives]." what the fuck? meanwhile in the film, he feels for the victims so much that he can barely even say that the kids were shot in bed! when he watches the tapes, he focuses on the women! because that's his fucking job!!! and we see him empathizing with them! wow!!

siiigh okay im gonna stop talking abt the book vs the movie now bc again im only like 8 chapters or so deep. but now we come to tv will vs. 2002 will, which is admittedly gonna be more subjective and part of that it bc i cant remember a whole lot of specifics from the show bc my memory is Very Bad. but anyway

let's get the shallow stuff out of the way. yes i prefer ed norton's face to hugh dancy's. call hugh dancy "gender" or whatever have your fun i support you and your right to call any blood covered man a gender but by god is that not even REMOTELY my experience. next shallow thing to get out of the way: ed norton's line delivery is like music to my FUCKING ears compared to hugh dancy's i am so sorry. like the jokes about will shaking like a damp chihuahua before taking 5 minutes to stutter out "he's killing them....... On Purpose, jack." are funny and all but christ i had SUCH a hard time watching the show bc of that im not lying. literally hearing 2002 will just say "he's not keeping them. he's eating them." nice and quick, matter of factly is better than well im actually gonna end that sentence there but you get the idea. like YESSS you little blonde bitch get to the point i love you!!!

OKAY NOW less shallow points but also less uhh idk man i just dont remember a lot of hannibal. but basically: after seeing how caring 2002 will is, i'm kind of... idk i'm just so over tv will and how abrasive and harsh he is in comparison. like i fell in LOVE with how vulnerable 2002 will is, how he feels like he cares deeply about the people around him (and honestly... idk i cant remember a moment in the hannibal tv series that made me feel the way i felt when 2002 will can't say "the kids were shot in their beds". it's like... yeah this is a guy who feels so deeply for everyone around him at all times. i believe that.) and i just dont remember getting that same feeling from tv will. i have been gently spoon fed the most excellent chocolate pudding and everything else in my memory is just a snack pack. i guess tv will has those moments (what comes to mind is when he brings gideon to hannibal's house and is crying and he says "please dont lie to me") but idk they just didnt really do for me what 2002 will does. and then their scenes with reba! wow! i rewatched the tv version after watching red dragon, bc the film version made me tear up, meanwhile the tv version i barely remembered and i wasnt sure if that was just bc of the different mindsets i was in while watching them or what. and ok i just rewatched the tv version again and like... yeah. it's the wills lol. i LOVEEE tv reba SO much she is giving everything in that scene!! she sounds so like... broken, both bc of dolarhyde's apparent suicide and bc of finding out who he was + what he was doing, she sounds so fragile and guilt ridden! she's amazing!! but will. idk. tv will's delivery just seems... idk this feels dumb to say but it sounds like writing. i admittedly LOVE the line "people who study this kind of thing say that he was trying to stop because you helped him." and his delivery there is good. but between tv "you didnt draw a freak, you drew a man w a freak on his back" and the 2002 version, the 2002 delivery seems more genuine while the tv delivery sounds rehearsed. idk overall the 2002 version of that conversation just makes me feel more? its like. idk i can feel the 2002 version gently holding my heart while the tv version is a scene that is nice in h/nnigram gifsets or w/e.

umm ok this is already suuuper long and my brain is getting a bit mushy so i'm gonna start wrapping it up lol. i'll probably compare book will and 2002 will again after i finish the book, and then i miiight rewatch hannibal, or at least parts of s3. but right now my thoughts are basically: book will is a fucking dick who has an easier time empathizing with serial killers than with his wife. tv will is a nothing girl after being so completely catered to + also idk he doesnt have the same fragility that i want from my wills now. and 2002 will is my little caramel apple. he has this delightful vulnerability and feels like he cares so much and empathizes with more people than serial killers and his boss and 4 people in a diner for one scene! 2002 will made me care about will graham! which is honestly kind of a feat!

[dickspeightjrs]

Show Me How Big Your Brave Is (au / 4.8k words)

Prompt 17 from my ‘30 Destiel Prompts’ for @eccentriccas 

ao3 link

It stared at Dean from the fridge, tacked up by a Stanford University magnet gifted to Dean by his brother, Sam. 

He’d known his high school reunion was coming up at some point but seeing it embossed in gold lettering created a pit in his stomach. 

High school wasn’t the best time for Dean for a few reasons. First, his dad had died in freshman year, which Dean had had mixed feelings about if he was honest. He was mostly concerned about his mother. She didn’t take it well. And then there was-

Dean was torn from his stare down with the invitation by the door bell. He trudged over to answer it.  His best friend, Charlie, came bounding in with all the energy of a labrador puppy. 

“Hey, friend!” She exclaimed, pulling Dean into a tight hug. “Are you ready for our movie night?” 

Dean let himself be infected with Charlie’s excited energy. “Of course, dude! Give me superheroes in spandex already.” He laughed. 

“You go set up the first movie and I’ll put the beers in the fridge, okay?” Charlie instructed. 

“Sounds good, Bradbury.”

Dean lucked out when he’d met Charlie. They’d been assigned as roommates in college. There had been a mix up with the room allocations. Dean had been a little confused when he’d turned from his boxes to find a tiny red-head standing in the doorway of his dorm. 

Charlie had taken a step into the room, let her backpack fall to the floor, and said, “Don’t even think about trying anything. I’m gay as the day is long and I’m not afraid to punch a guy back into his place.” Dean hadn’t known how to reply so he’d just nodded and silently gone back to unpacking his things. 

It was when Charlie had put up a Star Wars poster above her bed that Dean knew he was about to make a best friend. 

“Ooh what’s this?” Charlie’s voice came from the kitchen.

Crap. Charlie had probably found the invite. He should have hidden it when he had the chance. He sighed and moved into the kitchen. 

Charlie had an extremely mischievous grin on her face, and that was saying something for her. 

“When were you going to tell me about this?” Charlie asked. 

“Urm, never?” Dean mumbled, reaching to snatch the paper out of Charlie’s hand. 

But Charlie was too quick and dodged Dean’s grasp. 

“Come on Dean. You have to go!” Charlie implored. “It’ll be fun!”

Dean gave his friend an unimpressed look. “Charlie you know how much I hated high school.”

Charlie’s face softened. “I know, it sucks that you got outed before you were ready. No one deserves that. But, it’s been ten years. Things have changed.”

“You don’t know the people I went to high school with.” Dean scoffed. 

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Stop being dramatic, you nerd.”

“Dramatic or not, I ain’t going.” Dean plucked the invite out of Charlie’s hand and tore it in two. 

Charlie stuck her tongue out at him. “Party pooper.”

*  *  *

A few hours later, Dean and Charlie were deep into their annual ‘NerdFest’ movie night. 

“I swear, if I didn’t bat for the best team, I’d be so down for a bit of Black Wing.” Charlie mumbled around a mouth full of popcorn. 

Dean couldn’t help but nod in agreement. Aside from Captain America (because, hello Chris Evans!), Black Wing was Dean’s favourite superhero. But he’d only appeared in ensemble movies. There had been rumours of him getting his own solo movie after fans online had campaigned for it but nothing ever seemed to come of it. The guy who played him seemed to just drop off the map. 

Shame, Dean thought as he watched Black Wing kick ass on-screen, that dude was hot! 

“Take someone like that to your high school reunion and it would make those dicks’ jaws drop.” 

“Drop it, Charlie.” Dean groaned, glaring at the red-head. 

“Just saying. Get a hot date and you’ll win the game of life in their eyes.” Charlie raised her hands in defence. 

“Noted. Let’s move on.” 

“Fine.” Charlie pouted. 

Dean nodded and turned back to watch the screen, content that the subject had been dropped. 

“OH MY GOD!”

Dean jumped out of his skin, sending popcorn flying through the air. “What the hell, Bradbury?” He exclaimed. 

Charlie started excitedly slapping Dean on the arm. “I have the best idea.” She practically squealed. “Put an ad up on Craigslist for a hot date.”

Dean’s eyes went wide. “No fucking way. Never happening. Now stop.”

“But-”

“No!”

Charlie sulked for the next half an hour, all through the iconic fight scene with Black Wing and his fellow team of superheroes. She stopped eventually after Dean offered her a piece of pie as a peace offering. 

*  *  *

After a couple more movies, Charlie had to leave. Apparently, being an adult meant that you can’t just spend all night watching with your best friend anymore - who knew? So with a ‘see ya later bitch’, Charlie was gone. 

Dean felt the aches from being sat on the couch for hours and he was looking forward to laying out on his bed for a good night’s sleep. 

He sighed to himself and tidied up the last remains of the movie snacks. He was ready for sleep but he had to work early in the morning and he wouldn’t have time to clean up before he left. 

Shuffling into the kitchen to put the rubbish in the trash, Dean spotted his reunion invite where he left it on the counter. Except, it wasn’t ripped in two like he’d left it. It had ‘mysteriously’ been taped back together. He dragged a tired hand down his face in exasperation. Charlie just didn’t know when to quit. She was the bratty little sister he never wanted. 

He plonked himself down on the chair at the counter and stared at the white paper for a few moments. 

Fuck it! 

Charlie was right (though he’d never admit it to her face). He was determined to prove to the assholes he went to school with that the shit they threw at him didn’t stick. It didn’t matter that Dean didn’t really believe it to be the truth,’ fake it til ya make it’ as they say. 

Before he could chicken out, Dean had Craigslist opened up on his phone. Thinking back to Charlie’s suggestion earlier, Dean decided against asking specifically for a ‘hot’ guy. He dreaded to think what kind of douchebags that would answer the ad proclaiming themselves to be an adonis. 

And, despite knowing since he was young that he was bisexual, he decided to aim the ad towards guys. His few relationships with women had never worked out. Even though this was all going to be fake, Dean would like to be able to at least get on with the person. 

In the end, he decided on a short and simple ad:

‘Hi, I’m Dean (28M) looking for a guy to take as my date to my stupid high school reunion next Saturday. Message if interested (no weirdos)’

He posted the ad and then spotted the time at the top of the screen. 

Midnight. Shit. 

He closed the website and dashed upstairs as fast as his tired legs could carry him. 

*  *  * 

The next morning, Dean got woken up by the feel of sunlight shining on his face. He must have forgotten to shut the curtains before he passed out last night. 

His blood ran cold when he realised that the sun shining on his face meant only one thing. He was late for work. He scrambled around looking for his phone to check the time but it was nowhere to be found. 

Suddenly, it came to him. He must have left his phone on the counter in the kitchen, meaning he didn’t hear his alarms going off. 

He cursed himself and sped to get ready. Quickly sniffing a shirt to check it was okay to wear, he got dressed and raced downstairs. Sure enough, his phone was sat on the table where he'd sat the night before. 

When he picked it up he found that it had also run out of battery overnight. 

Great. As if this day couldn’t get any worse. 

Forgetting all else on his mind, Dean grabbed his phone and dash out of the front door. 

*  *  *

The ad remained forgotten until a few days later. 

Dean was just about to sit down and relax with a beer when his phone lit up with a notification. He put his beer down on a coaster to check it out. 

It was a message from Craigslist telling him someone has been trying to contact him about his ad. 

Dean’s eyes went wide. He’d completely forgotten about the ad for a date after being late for work and being chewed out by his boss. He couldn't believe someone had actually responded. He looked at the date for the first message. This guy had contacted him like an hour after he’d posted the ad. 

He opened the message. 

(01:28) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: Hello. I saw your ad for a date to your reunion. It says I’m only 10 miles from your location. I’m interested in helping you out. Are you still in need of assistance?

(10:11) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: I assume, as you haven’t replied, that you’ve decided to go with someone else for your date. 

(11:20) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: On second thought, this ad was probably a joke. Please ignore my messages. 

Wow. This dude talked funny. And reading that last message, Dean felt a little sorry for the guy too. He seemed lonely. But beggars can’t be choosers, so Dean prepared to reply. 

As he went to type, he noticed the guy’s username and smiled to himself. 

(19:37) impala67 says: don’t worry dude! the position as my date is still open. you’re the only one who has responded. 

PS. I like your username. you a Black Wing fan too? 

The reply was almost immediate.

(19:41) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: Okay. What information do you need from me?

PS. You could say so. 

‘You could say so’? Was this guy purposefully trying to be mysterious? Either way, Dean was intrigued. 

(19:45) impala67 says: idk dude, just the basics I guess. how old u are, what u look like

(19:53) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: I’m 30 years old. I have blue eyes and dark hair. I’m 6 feet tall. Anything else?

Dean hummed to himself. The guy sounded pretty average, which was okay with him.

(19:55) impala67 says: nah, that’s awesome dude. anything you want to know? 

(19:58) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: I suppose it would be nice to know what you look like too. Also, if you don’t mind me prying, I wondered why you need to have a date for a school reunion. And why have you turned to Craigslist to find it?

Dean was set aback by this guy’s forwardness. But, he did have a right to know what he was getting into Dean supposed. 

(20:05) impala67 says: you already know I’m 28. I have green eyes. sort of light brown hair and i’m around 6’2”. as for the other shit. high school was a shit show. I’ve always been a bit nerdy i guess. people didn’t like it. then I realised I’m bi (hope that’s not a deal break btw). tried asking this guy out senior year. got outed to the whole school. got a lot of shit for it. 

(20:11) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. No one deserves that. Why do you want to go back? No one would blame you for leaving and never going back. (Again, if you don’t mind me asking.)

Dean blinked at the screen. His forgotten beer was getting warm but he was fascinated by this guy. He seemed genuine and Dean felt himself wanting to share the darkest parts of himself with a complete stranger. He sighed and typed. 

(20:20) impala67 says: I guess I want to prove to those assholes that the things they said didn’t affect my life. even tho that’s not always the truth. I still struggle to accept myself i guess.

Dean chewed his lip, debating whether to include that last line or not. But, hey, he was asking this dude to be his date, the least he could do was be honest with him. He pressed send. 

Blue Eyes didn’t reply instantly this time and it made Dean nervous. He wished he could take back the last bit of the message. 

After a few anxious moments, Blue Eyes still hadn’t replied so Dean gave up, figuring he’d scared the guy away. He cursed himself and moved to put his Doctor Sexy DVDs into the player. He’d never admit it to anyone, not even Charlie, but Doctor Sexy was his comfort show. It provided him with a much needed distraction. 

A couple hours later, Dean was beginning to doze. The extra few beers he’d had cushioned him into a deep sleep. 

When he woke, surrounded by darkness with only the DVD menu playing to no one lighting the room, Dean rubbed his face tiredly and went to check his phone for the time. 

Instead of looking at the clock, Dean’s eyes were distracted by the Craigslist notification. Blue Eyes had messaged him back! Feeling a little foolish that he’d reacted too quickly before, Dean opened the message.

(23:23) BlueEyesAndBlackWings says: You’re incredibly brave, Dean. Not many people would be able to do what you’re doing. 

Dean blushed in the darkness. Why were a random internet dude’s words affecting him so much? He didn’t really know what to say in response so he just sent a quick ‘thank you, dude.’

*  *  * 

Over the next few days leading up to the reunion, Dean carried on messaging Blue Eyes just to get to know him a little more. Turns out the dude is dorky as hell. And, despite the original impression he gave with the Black Wing username, the guy didn’t understand any of Dean’s other references. 

It had occurred to him after they’d been messaging for a while that Dean still didn’t know his name. 

When he confronted Blue Eyes about it, the man had taken a while to respond again and answered only with ‘I’d rather not disclose my full name at this time. But, you can call me C.’

Dean had been a little skeptical of the guy’s response at first. But then, he figured the worst case scenario was the guy turned out to be a catfish and Dean would just blow off the reunion altogether and go get drunk. And he couldn’t blame the guy for not wanting to give out personal details over Craigslist. 

The day before the reunion, they agreed it was probably best to meet somewhere a couple hours before so they had time to get to know each other in person and iron out the final details they’d need to know about each other. 

*  *  * 

Dean sat in the coffee shop they’d agreed to meet at (public and easy to escape if things went south). He tried to stop his leg from trembling under the table. 

He was nervous for a couple of reasons. The obvious: this guy could turn out to be a creepy old dude stalking men on the internet. And the less obvious but more surprising to Dean: he actually wanted this to go well. Without even knowing what he looked like, Dean had found himself beginning to like the guy. Even if he wasn’t attracted to him when he finally saw Blue Eyes, Dean would be cool with being friends with him. 

His eyes were following the patterns in the wood on the table top when a deep voice came from above him. 

“Dean?” It asked, with nervous uncertainty. 

Dean swallowed and looked up to the source of the voice and- 

Holy shit! 

It was him! It was the Black Wing!

What was the guy’s name? Cas- something? Castile? Casteel? Castiel! That was it!

Holy fucking shit! This couldn’t be happening. 

Dean realised he’d been staring wide-eyed during his internal freak out and Blue Eyes, Castiel, was stood looking as nervous as Dean had felt before the surprise adrenaline took over his body. 

“Sorry, dude. Please sit down.” Dean gestured to the chair opposite him. He wiped his hands on his jeans, nerves starting to take over once again. 

Neither man spoke for a few moments. 

“So I-” Castiel began.

“I don’t-” Dean spoke too. 

Both men chuckled. “You go,” Dean told Castiel. 

Castiel smiled softly, “I suppose, from your reaction, you know who I am.”

Dean blushed. “Yeah. For what it’s worth, I’m a big fan.” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. 

Now Castiel blushed, “Thank you, Dean.” His expression turned serious. “I hope you understand now why I didn’t give you my full name while we spoke online.”

“Yeah, of course, dude. Don’t want any crazies hunting you down.” Dean chuckled. 

Castiel chuckled with him. “Yes, something like that.”

“So, um, before we get into the details for later, I was wondering if I could ask you a question?”

“Of course, Dean. You were honest with me, it’s only fair I return the favour.” Castiel smiled. 

“It’s only because I watched one of your movies the other night with my best friend, Charlie-” who was totally gonna freak out when Dean told her about this “-but wasn’t there meant to be a solo Black Wing movie? Everyone in the fandom was talking about it and then suddenly you seemed to disappear. I guess, I’m just wondering why you changed your mind?” Dean asked, nervously. He was waiting for Castiel to tell him to go fuck himself (though Dean knew that Castiel wasn’t really that kinda guy). 

Castiel cleared his throat and met Dean’s eyes. “We were just about to go into production for the solo movie when my brother and his wife were killed in a head-on collision with a truck.”

Dean’s mouth dropped open. But, he could sense Castiel hadn’t finished so he stayed quiet. 

“The only blessing was that it was instant, so they didn’t suffer. That, and luckily their daughter, Claire, was at the babysitter’s at the time.” Castiel smiled, melancholy whispers gracing his features. 

Dean knew he barely knew the guy but he could sense when someone needed comfort so he reached across the table to place a soft touch on Castiel’s hand. 

“I took Claire into my care. And that ended my career as I knew it.” Castiel shrugged. “I was deeply disappointed to have to leave the movie, but Claire came first. And I didn’t want her to grow up in the spotlight, with people using her parents’ tragic death as a way to sell magazines. So I left the industry. That was three years ago and I haven’t looked back. Claire is five now and she’s all I could ever want.” 

Dean was awestruck. “Wow.” He breathed. “I can’t believe it.”

“What?” Castiel asked, head tilting in confusion. (If the situation wasn’t so serious, Dean would have struggled not to comment on how adorable he looked.) 

“Dude.” Dean choked. “You called me brave for wanting to face a coupla high school assholes. But you - you gave up your entire career to give the best life to your niece.” He shook his head in disbelief. “You’re amazing.” 

Castiel blushed again (and Dean found he was slowly falling in love with that look on Castiel’s face). “I don’t know that I’m amazing, I just want a normal life for Claire and I.” He shrugged. 

“A normal life, huh?” Dean asked. “Well, I can try and help with that.” He lifted his hand from where it had been placed on Castiel’s and held it in the air between them. “I’m Dean Winchester. I’m twenty eight. A bit of a nerd and in need of a date this evening.”

Castiel huffed a laugh and placed his hand in Dean’s, shaking it. “I’m Castiel Novak. I’m thirty. Uncle to a beautiful niece and I would be honoured if you’d let me be your date for this evening.” 

Dean’s face broke into a smile, which turned into a laugh that caused a smile to spread across Castiel’s cheeks. 

They let their hands settle naturally on top of the table. 

Now, with their barriers down, they began making plans and ideas for that evening. Though, if Dean were being honest, it felt like he’d known Castiel forever already. 

Eventually, after what felt like hours of talking, Castiel got up to finally get himself a coffee. It wasn’t until Castiel’s hand left his that Dean realised they’d been holding onto each other the whole time. 

*  *  *

Dean and Castiel ended up talking for so long in that coffee shop that they were late for the reunion. The party was in full swing when they arrived. 

Just before they entered the hall, Dean stopped in his tracks. 

“What’s wrong, Dean?” Castiel asked, worry etched into his features. 

“Are you sure about this, man? There’s a chance someone in there could recognise you or something. It’s not worth ruining your life plan over just for me to say ‘fuck you’ to a couple of dicks.” Dean stressed. 

Castiel reached to take Dean’s hand in his. “Some things are worth a little risk.” He whispered and walked with Dean through the hall doors. 

It seemed Dean had had nothing to worry about in the end. They’d spoken to a few people who had seemed genuinely interested in that Dean had been up to since graduation. And they barely batted an eye when he’d introduced Castiel as his boyfriend. (He’d meant to just call him his date but clearly his mouth had had other ideas.) Castiel himself had just placed a soft hand around Dean’s waist - stopping Dean from an internal panic. 

It was all going so well and Dean was starting to think Charlie had been right (again, damn her!). Maybe everyone had just grown up and moved on. 

Once they’d finished a conversation with the guy Dean sat next to in English class senior year, Castiel went to the bar to get them some drinks, whispering in Dean’s ear that he’d be back in a moment. Dean was a little sad Castiel hadn’t gone a bit further and placed a kiss on his cheek. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t Dean Winchester.” The voice of Bela Talbot came from behind him. Dean turned with a scowl on his face. 

“Hello, Bela.” He said through gritted teeth. She’d been one of the main people instrumental in his forced coming out. 

“Goodness me, Dean. If I’d known how pretty you’d turn out, maybe high school could have gone a lot differently.” She practically purred, running a perfectly manicured finger along Dean’s cheek bone. “But, hey, there’s still time now, I could be the one to knock you straight again.”

Dean was frozen to the spot. He was back to being a scared kid, dealing with the loss of a parent and being taunted daily for his sexuality. He knew he shouldn’t have done this. He wasn’t brave. He was pathetic. He couldn’t even stand up to a school bully ten years later.

“Excuse me.” Castiel appeared suddenly at Dean’s side. “What did you say to him?” The look on his face was nothing short of murderous. 

“I’m just getting reacquainted with an old friend.” Bela answered, sickly sweet. “And who are you?”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed. “I’m Dean’s boyfriend and I don’t appreciate the way you’re speaking to him.” 

Dean’s eyes went wide. Earlier it had been a slip when he’d called Castiel his boyfriend but now Castiel was purposefully saying it? Dean didn’t dare to hope. 

Bela laughed, causing Castiel to glare even harder (honestly, if looks could kill, she’d be in hell). “Ah! So he’s definitely still gay then.” She said, lip curling with distaste. 

“Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s bisexual, not gay. I’d tell you to educate yourself, but clearly, after ten years you’re still the same bitch you’ll always be.” 

Bela looked taken aback, like no one had ever spoken to her like that before. 

Castiel didn’t wait for her response. Instead, he grabbed Dean’s hand and stormed out of the building.

It wasn’t until the cool evening air hit his face, that Dean finally snapped back to himself. They’d ended up in the parking lot, stood next to Dean’s car. 

“Cas..” Dean breathed.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Castiel said, begging for forgiveness. “I just couldn’t stand the way she was speaking to you.” 

“Cas-” Dean spoke. 

“She was just so rude a-and small-minded. I hated it.” 

“Cas!” Dean raised his voice. Castiel snapped his jaw shut. “It’s okay. Thank you for sticking up for me.” Dean stepped closer to Castiel, playing with the lapel on Castiel’s suit jacket. 

Castiel looked into Dean’s eyes but Dean couldn’t hold his gaze. “I’m just embarrassed that I froze up. After all of this, I failed at standing up for myself. I’m pathetic.” 

Castiel placed his hands on Dean’s cheeks, forcing Dean to look at him. Green eyes finally met blue. “Dean, listen to me. It was incredibly brave to walk into that room tonight. You are the bravest person I’ve ever met.” He said earnestly. 

Dean couldn’t hold it in anymore. He hoped he wasn’t about to ruin this before it even started. But, as a wise man told him recently: some things are worth a little risk.

Wasting no more time, Dean pulled Castiel into a deep kiss. 

Once Castiel was on board, he pushed Dean up against the car behind them. 

After a few heated moments, of what can only be described as heavy making out, Dean growled at Castiel to get into the car before they got arrested for public indecency. 

They somehow made it back to Dean’s house but their clothes only managed to stay on long enough to get through the front door. Dean directed them to his room and threw Castiel down on the bed. 

He took in the sight of the beautiful man laid out under him before kissing up Castiel’s chest and took over his mouth again. The only words said between them were muttered assurances that they were on the same page. Dean could never have dreamed this is how this night would end but he certainly wouldn’t change a thing. 

*  *  *

The next morning, Dean and Castiel laid in each other’s arms, content to be together in the quiet. 

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Dean. “What about your niece?” He worried. “Don’t you need to get back to her?” He sat up frantically. 

“Dean, Dean, don’t worry.” Castiel raised his hands to calm the other man. “I texted my babysitter yesterday at the coffee shop asking her to stay with Claire for the night.” 

Dean relaxed into the bed, smirking a little. “So you knew how the night would end even before we got to the reunion.” 

Castiel blushed. “I wouldn’t say I knew. But I did hope.”

Dean smiled, pulling Castiel closer to place a tender kiss on the side of his head. “I hoped for it too.” He whispered. 

They settled into silence again, warm in each other’s company. 

A short while passed before either of them spoke again. 

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel murmured, breaking the quiet. 

“For what?” Dean frowned. 

“For thinking of Claire.” 

“Well, she’s important to you. She’s your whole world.” Dean shrugged. 

“Maybe my world could get a little bigger now.” Castiel suggested, smiling nervously up at Dean.”

“Yeah, I think it could.”

*  *  *

Later, as they dug into a couple of burgers Dean threw together, another thought crossed Dean’s mind. 

“Cas?”

“Hmm?” Castiel hummed around the burger in his mouth.

“Why were you looking through Craigslist ads in the first place?”

Castiel swallowed and chuckled to himself. “Sometimes I look through to find funny ads people put up.”

Dean was beginning to get a little offended when Castiel reached across the table to hold his hand. 

“But, the night that I saw your ad, I had just put Claire to bed and I was feeling lonely. I took a risk. And I think it worked.” Castiel smiled shyly. 

“Hell yeah, it did!” Dean grinned from ear to ear. 

*  *  *

Charlie’s phone vibrated next to her. She paused the video game she was playing to pick it up. Seeing it was a text from Dean, she opened it immediately. 

On her screen was a selfie of Dean with another dark haired dude captioned:

‘I should take your advice more often Bradbury.’

Her eyes turned to saucers and she looked at the image again more closely. She frowned slightly, looking at the man whose cheek Dean was kissing. 

Wait- That totally looked like-

Her phone dinged with a new message from Dean. 

‘And yes, it’s exactly who you think it is.’

HOLY FRIGGIN SHIT! 

-

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it Taylor! 

If you liked what you saw, REBLOG! and consider reserving a prompt from my ‘30 Destiel Prompts’ challenge, or just send me your own prompt you’d like me to fill!

-

TAGS: @eccentriccas @starrynightdeancas @credentiast @imbiowaresbitch @starclaire @cockleslovesdestiel @bend-me-shape-me @destielfactory @dea-stiel @wendeano @wingsandimpalas @aggressivedean @flowersforcas @chill-legilimens @pancakesofthelord @saltnhalo @caslikescoffeeandfreckles @assbuttboyfriends @jhoomwrites @breathingdestiel @simplymisha @thekingslover @aelysianmuse

(once again tagging my faves, let me you if you’d like to be removed from future fics - or added if you’re not already there!)

[takasgf]

Late with the whole ask game but sweaters, stranger, and dance alone!!!

Also just putting this here as well but Ishigeru is such an Ultimate Comfort Ship of mine!! And I'm being serious about that. <3 Like if Froggy were canon, I'd immediately worship her and her ship wholeheartedly! I have so much to say about her and Ishigeru but I can't put them in just words. xD But really though they're an Ultimate OTP. <3

Hello!! You aren't late ^_^ ! Thank you for the ask <33

> sweaters: how do you help your f/o after a long day? vice versa?

Both of them work hard, so these types of days happen quite often. Frogeru always makes his favourite meals and snacks and stops him if he tries to help; he denies being tired, but she can tell that's not true. She tries her best to convince him to sit down and let her do the cooking on her own for that evening. She appreciates the help a lot, but if he's too tired she can't stand seeing him do any type of work. Frog also lets him brush her hair; it's a comforting activity for both of them. When Froggy has a tiring day, Taka usually watches something on the tv with her! Even if he isn't a fan of the thing they are watching, he will sit on the couch and hug his girlfriend for as long as needed. He also tries cooking for her, but if that fails, he'll just order one of her comfort foods instead :3

> stranger: does your f/o have any regrets?

Ok, I haven't checked out the source material in months and I don't feel like doing it any soon, so I can't remember if he said anything about this in canon ;_; So I'll just say a headcanon instead!! I think he might regret a bit not being interested in any media while he was growing up. Of course, he loves what he does, he is passionate about his work but I feel like he missed out on a lot of things by focusing on studying only. Despite being book-smart, his social skills arent quite the best.. He said he 'will study' things like shows, music, games etc but that's why I don't think he might experience them in a fullfilling way. He treats it like it's a subject at school, which you must know everything about, and forgets about actually having fun with it. He hears Frogeru talk about pop culture, internet, shows and music all the time, wishing he could be more invested in those things, in order to show Frog he cares about her interests. For Frogeru it doesn't matter if he likes the same things as her or not tho, she just wants him to listen. And he does!! And that's enough for her to feel loved♡

But he has enough time!! Froggy will be sure to help him get invested properly in media, not to have another disscussion subject, but to actually enjoy it <33 This makes little sense, im sorry, but i find it a bit hard to express myself seriously in english T__T

> dance alone: how do you & your f/o deal with being physically far from each other? is it something that’s commonplace?

Thankfully, that doesn't happen quite often. They live in the same town and go to the same school; of course, they'll also move in together in the future. However, if they are separated, they make sure to keep in contact at all times. They call eachother (with the video option/idk the name; a video call basically) a lot. If they don't have that option, they text eachother. If that's not an option either because there is no signal or wi-fi, they try to remain calm. They miss eachother a lot in the process;; Sometimes they get super worried something might have happened to their partner, but they try to distract themselves until they can communicate again. Froggy is more paranoid about it and sometimes has to talk to her friends to get reassurance he is alright;;

Honestly, I can't thank you enough for all your support and appreciation; It makes me so soo happy to hear that you genuinely enjoy my silly ship...Thank you <33 I am so grateful for all the nice things you've said. We need more people like you in this world♡ You're awesome!!! ^_^

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol 19

Compared to the last few books, this one was actually pretty mild in subject matter. Nothing too heavy, which was a pretty nice break. The heavy stuff is fine, don't get me wrong, but you need a break from it, y'know? These characters certainly need a break.

In this book, we got a lot of backstory on Kakeru, which was pretty interesting. He seems kinda weird, the more we learn about him. Something's off about his ability to emote. Idk.

In the first section (which honestly is pretty heavy), it continues right where vol 18 left off: Tohru saying that they gotta find a way to break the curse soon, for everyone's sake, but especially for Kyo's sake. This seems to throw Tohru into a tiny crisis, because she had promised herself, after her mom died, that she would never place anyone above her mom, that her mom would always be the most important person to her. But she's realizing that is starting to fade away.

When Izusu first asked her what was most important to her, Tohru couldn't answer. She wanted to say her mom, of course her mom was the most important thing to her, but there clearly was another thing that was rivaling for that first place. She made the promise to always keep her mom in mind, to always have her be the most important, so that she would never fade away. It was right after she died, and Tohru had cleared everything out of their apartment, and even then, Tohru felt like Kyoko's memory was fading away.

As she was walking home, caught up in all these memories and thoughts, Shigure pops up, and says that she's heading to the main Sohma house, which is weird. On the way back to their house (should I phrase it as Shigure's house? I dunno), Shigure mentions how both she and Izusu have made it clear that they're trying to break the curse, and Tohru asks if he knew that the curse was already breaking. He said he didn't, it was just a hunch. Apparently, there has never been a time when all 13 members of the Juunishi have been alive, there's always been one missing. Because of this, Shigure thinks that the time for the curse to break is coming near, that it's the "final banquet". Not to mention, things have been watered down a lot through the generations, like Hatori being possessed by the dragon, but he turns into a sea horse. No offense Hatori, but that is kinda underwhelming. Additionally, Kureno's living proof that something is happening, with the way that the curse just,, randomly broke for him, and he wasn't doing anything to trigger that.

Shigure then brings up Kyo, and how time is cutting close for him, and it won't be long before he'll be taken away (something that Tohru is very aware of). He also says that the reason that the Cat has always been hated, is because it's just kinda the most convenient. I mean, the Cat is the only one that has a "dark form", which is all gross and etc., and it's easier to pick on that, than to really sit with yourself and think about how you're a fuckin weirdo who can turn into an animal, not even by choice, it's just something that happens that mostly out of your control, and because of that, it causes you to distance yourself from everyone. It's a burden, it's really just a curse. He really just keeps hammering down on the point that everyone knows that Kyo's the worst of them all, and they use that to feel better about themselves, that at least they're not like that, a disgusting creature. Personally, idk why he's doing this, but it makes Tohru pretty upset. She was upset to begin with, and now he's just putting salt in the wound with an oddly calm demeanor. After she makes him stop saying all that, he asks her if she does love him, and that sends her right back into her initial crisis.

Kyo shows up soon after, and Shigure just says she's upset because she got in a fight with Izusu, and not to worry about it. Kyo tries to console her about this "fight", which only makes Tohru feel worse. She says she doesn't know what to do, and he said that in situations like that, it's best to not do anything. I swear to goodness, these two are just kinda hopeless.

Anyway, the next chapter continues (as it is wont to do), and it's been another year since Tohru's mom died. Kyo didn't go with Tohru and her friends, clearly it all brings up a separate bunch of bad memories for him. Mostly involving when his own mom died, and the shit his dad said to him at the funeral. The stupid thing is, that after his dad said, "You can't get close [to the headstone] because you feel guilty, don't you?" Kazuma said that isn't something you say to a child, and Kyo's dad doubled down and said that's why he said it, because he wouldn't.

Unsurprisingly, Kyo did understand, because ✨news flash✨ kids aren't stupid. They can understand what you're saying, it's not like an adult's words are all garbled like in Peanuts. Especially when they're looking you dead in the eye, accusing you of killing their wife and your mother. They understand. He understood. (Why couldn't have kicked Kyo's dad in the throat he just,, he deserves it)

Anyway, while that particular thing in sitting around in his head, he runs into Tohru's grandfather, who's just kinda sitting there, chilling. He recognizes Kyo, which is what Kyo gets for having bright orange hair (he didn't do it on purpose but he has to understand the consequences of being a main character: he's recognizable) While they're talking, Kyo notices that Tohru's grandfather keeps calling Tohru "Kyoko", and Kyo asks about it. Tohru's grandfather (he doesn't really get a name, but this is also really clumsy ;-;) says it's to remember Kyoko, and shortly after Kyoko died, it was partially for Tohru's sake. He then asks Kyo if he knows why Tohru asks the way she does. I would imagine that if Kyo did think about it at all, he'd just figure it's because that's how she is, but Tohru's grandfather says it's an imitation of her father, Katsuya. This is mostly because after Katsuya died, some relatives started saying that Tohru wasn't anything like Katsuya, are you sure she's his daughter? Disgusting shit like that. Tohru's grandfather mused that they probably said it because they didn't think Tohru would understand them, which kinda makes Kyo go "!!" because holy crap, he was just thinking about that! how crazy!, and Tohru's grandfather says that, if nothing else, a kid can understand if a comment is nice or mean, but they are usually pretty good at understanding things.

After that, Kyo went home and saw Tohru taking down the laundry (do they not have a dryer or was it just more poetic to have her hanging them on a line and having them flutter around in the breeze?), and was thinking about the things that Tohru's grandfather said, along with some times that he was with Kyoko. Apparently, Kyo had seen (not really met) Tohru before they met in the beginning of the series. One time Kyoko was fretting about having to stay overtime at work, and how Tohru would be alone at home for a while, and so I guess Kyo decided that he'd check up on Tohru, and she was just sitting at the table, eating dinner, and he thought she looked pretty lonely.

Jump back to current events, Kyo's just been standing there, thinking about all this stuff while Tohru was folding laundry, and she finally noticed him. Ack! Startlements. Out of the blue, Kyo asked Tohru about her dad, and she froze up. She then said that they didn't really, but according to her mom, they acted the same. Then she retracted that statement, and revealed that she used to think her dad was a bad man, mostly just because as child, she used to fear that he would take Kyoko away from her, despite remembering that he was a kind and caring person. When he heard that, Kyo thought it was stupid, but it was most likely just from her trying to cope with her dad's death, and how her mom reacted so severely to it, and by thinking of her dad as a bad man, it was easier for her? Personally, I don't really follow the train of thought, I've read it a couple times, I'm just kinda confused by it, but it's mostly that she told herself a story that helped her, and it might have made her seem unaware of things (I hesitate to say "stupid"), so that she could push down her pain enough to seem happy on the outside. Tohru felt guilty about it, but Kyo told her that Kyoko probably knew what Tohru was doing, but it was okay, because Tohru helped Kyoko through a really tough time in her life (and he knows that for certain because Kyoko told him that).

Oh also the reason why there was all the billowing sheets and everything turned out to be kinda useful. Reassurance becomes awkward when you go to hug someone and you turn into a cat. So, stupid earlier question out of the way.

After all that, there is some unmistakably painful awkwardness between Kyo and Tohru, they're just stumbling over each other. Having to sit by and watch them is too much to bear for Yuki, so he flies off, to anywhere, because anywhere is better than that. And I mean, I've never been in that situation (because I'm generally not around people) but it's awkward enough just reading it, I think I would wither away or slam my head on a table/wall if I had to be around it, so I don't blame Yuki whatsoever. While he's wandering around, a woman comes up to him, asking if he's Ayame. Hm,, I wonder who this mysterious woman is??

(But first, a short peek back to the house and-- oh of course Kyo and Tohru are still struggling to exist around each other cool cool, and oh! Tohru just said something very cute and endearing and Kyo had a heart attack nice move my dude, and off in the distance, Hanajima senses their struggles and general pain)

Okay, back to Yuki. He went to Ayame's store to ask about that woman, and Ayame tells him that she was someone that he went to school with. He was the student body president, and he came to be friends with (or at least, he was friendly, there's a difference) another president from an all-girls school. Unbeknownst to him, she had fallen in love with him, but when he was younger, he didn't really seem to give a shit about people. Like, he seemed to be a raging asshole, not even on purpose. He just never took the time to consider and understand other people's feelings, and was just flippant to everything. So when this girl confessed her feelings to Ayame, he was decently surprised (kinda. If he was anywhere as popular as Yuki is in school, he probably had people confessing to him all the time, but unlike Yuki, Ayame probably just used that to boost his ego. What I'm saying is that it wouldn't really be a surprise to him; I have a feeling that he'd heard it a lot throughout high school), gave a "Oh, that's nice. What's your name again?" which was a huge blow to the girl. They'd been friends for a while, which she said. He then proceeded to say, "Oh, well then I guess your personality was so dull that I couldn't be bothered to remember!" Holy fuck. This is just getting worse and worse. Never mind the fact that Shigure and Hatori were there too, this wasn't just Ayame and the girl, and Shigure was snickering and poorly attempting to hide it. Hatori finally made them stop while the girl ran off, and Ayame had the gall to ask why. Dude. Wow.

It took him a while to fully understand what had happened, and how acting that way can really hurt someone, until he met Mine, the girl who works with him in the costume shop. (She's pretty distinctive in that she's always wearing a maid costume. She's enthusiastic about costumes) Yuki asked if Mine was Ayame's girlfriend, and Ayame said that she was, though they didn't make the biggest deal out of it. After going through his few minutes of Intense Retrospective, Ayame said (dramatically, you know him) that he hopes that moment hasn't traumatized her or affected her poorly, and Yuki said that she actually seemed pretty happy, if anything she was embarrassed, but it seemed like she had a husband and kid, so it could be guessed that she moved on from that incident. Yuki then tried to ask if Mine knows about the curse, but Ayame skillfully swerved around that by entirely ignoring the question, and Mine had come back from the store, so that conversation was over. But, when she came back, another followed, none other than Kakeru, who apparently is pretty friendly with Mine and Ayame, since the two of them came to the school during the "Sorta Cinderella" play to provide costumes.

While Kakeru was there, he briefly brought up Machi, and so she was brought over as well. That's only significant because she saw something she liked, and it pops up again later. Slightly later in this book, but more later in the series. It's a whole thing.

We also get a short little peek at what Kyo and Tohru are doing at the end of the chapter. I guess they just went out for shopping and stuff, and came across a place with lots of cats, who were quite excited to see Kyo. (Kyo was less excited to see the cats, it's probably for the better that they're separated by glass.)

The next chapter starts with Shigure at the main Sohma house, where apparently Akito has been stuck in her room for so long, asking if she thinks the world will change around her if she just stays in there long enough. He then leaves, and Akito says, "Fine! I don't care anymore!" (which, statistically speaking, almost always means that they still care), but Shigure doesn't bother with it. Being stubborn in this situation isn't going to help anything, but it's just not worth arguing over.

The scene jumps to school, and apparently Momiji's gotten a hell of a growth spurt, now he's all tall and tall, and he doesn't wear as much cutesy stuff. It also looks like he got a crush on Tohru, but Tohru would most likely quietly tuck Momiji into the friendzone like, so fast. I honestly doubt Momiji would actually try anything to get Tohru's attention, but later in the book he taunts Kyo a little bit, basically saying, "You better figure out your situation with Tohru bc I also l-l-like her lots <3" (After which Kyo has a mild crisis like "Holy shit does everyone know?? What the fuck??")

Tohru and Momiji run into Yuki and Haru at school, and for some reason they're all gonna go back home and get ice cream. Idk why, I guess they just felt like it.

Back at home itself, Kyo walks in and just finds Kisa sitting at the table. She flustered, he's confused ("why tf is she here what's going on?"), and Hiro pops out of nowhere to defuse a situation that wasn't occurring. Anyway, Kyo starts to walk off before Kisa says Hello!, and he's just like, "...hi. Anyway." and I'm just saying any of this bc it was so fuckin funny to me, idk why Kisa was acting like that, that might just be how she is, I've forgotten, but yeah.

Swerving back momentarily to the main Sohma house, Hatori's asking Shigure why he's always so mean to Akito. Would it really be so bad to just be nice for once? Shigure's pretty indifferent to it, especially when he said that Hatori's niceness or Kureno's niceness are more genuine, but he just can't fake that stuff, he doesn't care. He knows he's an annoying lil shit, and he doesn't seem to want to take any steps towards fixing that. After all, it's not his job to make Akito happy. (seriously though what's up with this whiplash between here and Tohru and Co. it's kinda weird.)

Let's just switch over to the last main chunk of the book, because I don't want to repeat myself too many times. This is the one that focuses on Kakeru, and his general weirdness. So he has a girlfriend, her name is Komaki Nakao. Just,, keep that in mind, I guess, so that I'm not saying "Kakeru's girlfriend" far too many times.

Anyway, Kakeru and Yuki head to the student council room, and Yuki gives Machi a little apology gift for having to deal with Ayame and Mine at the costume shop. Kimi complains about not getting something, which Naohito is irritated by (I think he lives to be irritated). She nabs the bag, opens it, and what is inside but a little Mogeta paper weight dude, a smaller version of the Mogeta doll that Ayame had in his shop that she was interested in (see I told you it was relevant), and she likes it a lot. Yuki can somehow tell by her waving it around in the air, idk how but he knows her better than I do. (Seeing as they're all in their fictional universe and I, it turns out, am not)

We also got a mini backstory into why Kimi is the way she is. It's because one time in middle school, a group of girls went up to her and said, "You think you can just float on by just because you're pretty and popular with boys?" and Kimi heartedly agreed, and just,,, didn't change. In case you were wondering.

Moving onto the part specifically about Kakeru, he used to have a thing against Tohru, a while back. When Kyoko got hit by that car, it turns out that the driver died as well, and that driver was Komaki's dad. So when Tohru and Kakeru ran into each other at the graveyard place, he basically was like, "Don't you dare think you can be the most sad in this situation, because someone else got hurt, so that means you can't be in as much pain as they are," completely out of the blue. Of course, Tohru didn't say anything against it, she wouldn't do that normally, and at the time she was still heavily mourning the death of her mother. He told Komaki of what he said to Tohru, reasoning that, like he said, she can't be the one most sad here, someone else has died. He saw her go about school, smiling and laughing, clearly she has to be faking her misery (rather than,, idk,, coping,,, and trying to get through life as a sudden orphan,,, idk,,), but Komaki didn't take it well, saying that you can't make a competition of something like being sad, or mourning. Him going out of his way to say that to Tohru did not help. That confused Kakeru initially, because he thought they were both on the same page. He did apologize, when they ran into each other later, completely owning up to his shit, which is nice. It's nice when people are accountable for their actions.

Back to Yuki and Machi for a second, Machi didn't have a chance to thank Yuki for the tiny Mogeta after she first got it, but she did like the gift. She tried to ask for what Yuki wanted, but all he said was self-confidence and fertilizer. (Does she know that he has a garden? I don't think she knows, that would probably seem very odd out of context.)

I think I'm gonna end that there. I have four more books left, so it's ending soon, but given how infrequently I actually sit down and write these, I just hope I'll be able to finish before they have to be taken back to the library.

[dreaming-of-assclass]

Group 4 Dynamics

Just for clarification on how I think their dynamics are...I know like all of these aren’t supported in canon very well, but I love Group 4 and really want to make more content of them...and I felt the need to explain how I view them haha. So if I write a fic, it won’t seem totally ooc, you know? You’ll see a bit of where I’m coming from haha.

Karma Relationships 

Karma and Nagisa

- Idk how to explain this...in my mind, they’re still good friends ofc, but not as close as I think a lot of people think they are. There’s awkwardness until civil war, and the gender jokes are :/ But other than that, I don’t have much to say besides what their friendship is in canon...

Karma and Sugino

- Sitcom duo...they clash at first, but over the course of the year they overcome their prejudices of each other. Ultimate brotp, they’re good bros and look out for each other. They argue, then do something stupid together two seconds later.

Karma and Kayano

- They have a unique friendship, a very strong bond though. They’re both chaotic and do crazy shit, although she still has infinitely more common sense than him. They hang outside of school a lot and connect based on similar experiences of growing up too fast. 

Karma and Okuda

- They have a super tight bond...they’re each other’s closest friends. It’s so easy for Karma to confide in her since she’s so honest and kind. Likewise, Okuda really appreciates how he’s there for her, loyal always. They’re a chaotic duo when it comes to chemistry and pranks.

Karma and Kanzaki

- Video game buddies, they bond over that. Even after that, they click based on being rebels and having a “Fuck parents!” mindset. Kanzaki can only encourage shit to an extent, then she freaking terrifies him when she’s upset. Karma also “takes” care of guys who harass her. Overall very sweet bond.

Kanzaki Relationships

Kanzaki and Nagisa

- They also have a really sweet friendship. Kanzaki really admires him and gets more and more amazed each time Nagisa puts himself in a serious situation for the sake of others. She doesn’t have...great interactions with guys, so being around Nagisa, who’s so respectful and kind, is nice. Nagisa feels guilty after not sticking up her from Ren in the library, so he tries to always look out for her after that.

Kanzaki and Sugino

- Well...she knows he has a crush on her. Kanzaki isn’t sure how to respond at first besides subtly friendzoning him. Sugino puts her on a pedestal and expects perfection from her...which isn’t great. Over the year, as they grow closer he loses his feelings as his perfect image of her dissolves. It’s a lesson for him. After that, they’re closer as friends. He’s a bit protective of her but Kanzaki is grateful for having such a nice person as a friend.

Kanzaki and Kayano

- Oh boy...these two are extremely close. She was the first person Kanzaki ever confided in, and they’ve been through so much together. After the tentacles reveal...Kayano is surprised when Kanzaki isn’t upset. They talk at some point in the hospital, and Kanzaki admits that she understands what it’s like having another identity, and she just wishes Kayano could feel more free and safe now. Kayano starts fucking sobbing at that, and their relationship improves even more...

Kanzaki and Okuda

- They’re super close, and Okuda is a friend that she’s very grateful for having. They always have fun study sessions since they both suck at each other’s best subject. Despite that, they get each other...being introverted and ‘passive’ and being walked over by others. Kanzaki is a bit protective over Okuda since she’s even sweeter and more innocent. They shop together sometimes since they have similar styles. Kanzaki specifically finds chemistry-based video games just for Okuda, and she appreciates it a lot

Okuda Relationships

Okuda and Nagisa

- Nagisa is such a nice, comfortable figure to be around for Okuda...he’s always so sweet and will listen to her ramble on about chemistry just because he knows it’s her passion. He often plays the “straight man” for her antics though, and will be the only one in their friend circle to dissuade her from chaotic experiments. “Okuda-san, please don’t mix it...it’ll explode. Karma, no, we don’t want that-”

Okuda and Sugino

- Oh my god, they have such a pure friendship. Sugino is such an easygoing kind guy, he goes out of his way to make sure she’s included in conversations and doesn’t feel uncomfortable, which Okuda really appreciates. They’re...complete opposites lol, and try to introduce each other to their passions. So cue, Okuda cleaning up a chemical reaction that Sugino caused to explode...and Sugino laughing as he tries to direct her swings while teaching the very clumsy Okuda how to bat.

Okuda and Kayano

- Their friendship is the sweetest...Kayano was the first friend Okuda made, and she’s beyond grateful for that. They become super close and attached to each other, even despite being so different. Kayano is literally always hugging her so tightly and never letting go. For the first time, Okuda feels like she can trust people and connect...and she has Kayano to thank. Post-reveal, however...she’s crushed by the lie, and for a while, feels she can’t trust Kayano. They reconcile eventually, and their friendship gets strengthened.

Kayano Relationships

Kayano and Nagisa

- They were always good friends, and will stay that way. I’m gonna expand on post-reveal though...that’s where it gets strained. Nagisa has faith in her, and saved her believing that she belongs in the classroom. But it’s not that easy for her...to just forget everything, go back to normal, and accept the fact that she used him...They remain really good friends, but after 3-E, they lose contact for a while. Nagisa still fully supports her acting endeavors, and they care for each other a lot.

Kayano and Sugino

- They really were casual friends in the beginning, tied to Nagisa. But that didn’t last long as they clicked and got closer. Sugino is always teasing her for her height and such, but if she starts pouting, he’s quick to get her a pudding and snacks. He’s very defensive of her after the whole tentacles reveal, and is one of the first to feel sympathy. Kayano in turn gets exasperated by his chaotic nature, but still adores him and their friendship. She knows Sugino will always look out for her, no matter what.

Sugino Relationships

Sugino and Nagisa

- They met at the end of 2nd year and got along really quickly. They’re best friends. Period. They’re super well-attuned to and are quick to get defensive over each other. They’re like opposites attract, as Sugino is extroverted and Nagisa is more shy, and it’s adorable. They push each other out of their comfort zones.

[gerberbabey]

debut | one | pope heyward w/ filipina!reader

the idea of the pogues in a high school setting is actual so fun so i kinda got carried away. i rlly hav a thing for writing the character pining for the reader rather than the other way around.

im basing this off of how my high school was cus idk shit about any other high schools lmao. also excuse volleyball terminology, i also very much miss volleyball

masterlist | previous | next

warnings: cursing, like terrible writing, just filler stuff

one - ♫ I THINK by Tyler, The Creator ♫

It was already two weeks into your senior year and you were settling in nicely. At two weeks people were still switching around their classes making sure they wouldn’t regret the class they decided to settle into. You were satisfied with your schedule considering you only had 3 actual academic classes. 

For your last year you’d opted out of taking one least year of math or another year of science. You were a good student sure but you’d never been the best at maths or sciences. To the Pogues’ surprise Pope had a similar schedule, yet the only reason he wasn’t packed with AP classes was because he was signed up for dual enrollment with online college courses. 

“Dual enrollment helps clear GEs better than AP classes. I’m not saying I wouldn’t pass those AP tests but this way is easier,” Pope explained to JJ as they walked through the crowded halls of Kildare County High. Kooks and Pogues alike littered the hallways, separated in their own little groups and yet standing amongst one another. 

“Whatever you say Pope,” JJ shook his head. He and Pope had one class together this year and that was Intro to Drawing in the very beginning of the day.  

“Heeeey guys,” Kie greeted as she walked up to them, hiking her bag up her shoulder. Kie had opted out of a backpack this last year and had instead started using a tote bag which was only filled with her laptop, a single notebook, her pencil case, and other small personal belongings that had nothing to do with school. 

“You guys going to the game on Friday?” Kie questioned and Pope cringed as JJ groaned. 

“No Kie, we are not going to the football game this Friday-”

“Guys come one, first game of the season! Plus the environmental club is planning to work snack bar. All the money goes toward the Turtle Habitats and the Save the Ocean Foundation,” Kie plead. 

“As much as I love the turtles Kie,” the group stopped at Pope’s locker, “Our football team is garbage. Why would I subject myself to that?” 

“Ok I know that, but don’t go for the team,” Kie raised her eyebrows at the two of them, “Go for the turtles!” 

JJ shot her an “eeeh” sort of look and Kie huffed in annoyance. 

“Come on, if you could give me a whole other way to fundraise then please do,” Kie crossed her arms as Pope shuffled around the belongings in his locker. 

“You need help fundraising Kie?” 

The three teens turned in the direction of your voice and you grinned as you walked up to them, your teammate and other best friend Isabelle walking with you. Isabelle was tall, one of the tallest girls at school actually, and though they saw you two together frequently it was still kind of amusing to see one of the tallest people they new walking around with one of the shortest people they knew. 

“Yeah well, my club’s planning to do the football game snack bar but nobody goes to the game’s anyway so,” Kie shrugged. 

“You could fundraise at the volleyball game,” Isabelle suggested giving Kie a smile. Kie smiled back sheepishly as she shifted on her spot. 

“Are you serious?” she questioned, turning to you and you shrugged. 

“Well, why not? Wouldn’t hurt to ask our coach,” you stated and Kie watched as Pope closed his locker and turned as your hands reached up to fix the collar of the button up he’d worn over his t-shirt. 

“We have a game tomorrow, and then there’s a workshop on Saturday. If your club wants to try and fundraise during those, we can try and figure something out,” Isabelle spoke to Kie and Kie flushed for a moment before she nodded frantically and began talking over a few ideas that were already coming to mind. 

“And people are guaranteed to show up to the girls volleyball games,” JJ wiggled his eyebrows at you and Pope and you laughed as Pope reached up to whack JJ in the chest. You couldn’t help but note how weird JJ looked without one of his usual hats on. You figured it was because the teachers lost their minds over hats being worn inside the building. 

“So (Y/N),” Pope started and you and JJ looked at him. 

“So Pope?” you smiled and missed how JJ glanced between the two of you with a knowing look in his eye. 

“Am I gonna see your dress anytime soon?” Pope questioned and you rolled your eyes. 

“Pope I literally already told you that no one’s allowed to see it until my party,” you leaned against Pope as he shook his head.

“But I’m not just anyone,” he insisted and you laughed as the first bell of the day rang overhead. 

“Ok whatever dude,” you shoved at Pope and he playfully slapped at your arms, “Me and Isa have to go, I’ll see you guys later,” you bid and you gave Pope a hug and a kiss on the cheek before you waved goodbye to JJ and Kie. The three of them watched you two join the sea of students and JJ turned to Kie and Pope.

“Was I seriously just fifth wheeling?” he scoffed and Pope glared at him as Kie flushed at his insinuation. 

__________

“Ok can I just get like...the color? Oh my-you never even told me the color!” Pope stared at you with wide eyes and you shook your head as you covered your mouth to try and keep your laugh from coming out. The two of you were in your second to last class of the day (You were both TA’s for the Intro to Film teacher and that usually meant goofing around in the back as the class watched movies all day), and Pope had not let the topic of your dress drop. 

In fact he had asked you about it for the past three weeks. 

“I can’t ruin it,” you whined and Pope leaned forward and groaned into your shoulder. 

“Telling me the color won’t ruin it,” he mumbled and you reached up to rub his back. 

“Yes it will,” you whispered back playfully and Pope groaned again as you laughed, “Oh by the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you...” 

Pope sat up and motioned for you to continue. 

“I don’t need to have an escort or anything, but I was actually wondering if you’d like to be my escort? For my party?” you weren’t sure why you were so nervous but you couldn’t get yourself to look Pope in the eye. You watched as your fingers played with the end of his shirt. 

“(Y/N).”

You looked up at Pope through your lashes and he flashed you a wide grin. 

“I would literally be honored,” Pope pulled you into a tight hug before pulling back, “Also I would’ve been extremely offended if you didn’t ask me and I probably would’ve just been your escort anyway.” 

You laughed and quickly brought a hand up to cover it up as a few of the students in the room shot the two of you looks. 

“I wouldn’t even go through with the party without you,” you told him softly and Pope could feel his heart skip a beat. Sometimes he wondered what it would’ve been like if he had gathered up the courage to ask you out ages ago. Despite the bullshit he told his friends he knew that he was in love with you. He would always love you, but being in love with you was different. It meant so much more. 

“So that means I get to know the color of your dress right?” Pope whispered and your mouth dropped open in shock as a wide grin stretched across his face. You tried to stop yourself from smiling as you reached up to whack him on the shoulder. 

“No!” you whisper-yelled. 

“But how am I gonna coordinate with you-” 

“Drop it Pope,” you laughed as the bell rang to indicate the end of class. 

________

“Where’s Kie?” John B questioned as JJ and Pope walked up to him. Today was the first girl’s volleyball game of the year and they had planned on going to watch together. They only really did it out of support toward you but that obviously didn’t stop JJ from his usual flirting. 

“Her club’s doing snack bar or something, to help fundraise for turtles. Did she not tell you?” Pope asked as they walked into the gym together. There was music playing through the gym’s speakers and there was chatter and noise from every point. There was the sound of shoes squeaking against the gym floor and the sounds of volleyballs coming into contact with the floor, hands, the walls, etc. 

“Nah, I didn’t see her that much yesterday or even today.” 

“Yeah, where the hell were you anyway?” JJ questioned as he led the way up the bleachers. It was definitely crowded but the boys weren’t at all surprised, Kildare County High’s volleyball team was actually good, meaning they usually garnered a large audience of spectators. 

“I was at the counselor’s like all day trying to figure out how I’m gonna get enough credits to graduate,” John B sighed and JJ and Pope cringed. After John B’s dad disappeared in their sophomore year, the boy had taken a half a step back from his academic responsibilities to try and keep himself together and afloat. Then after Big John’s body was found at the beginning of their Junior year, John B had considered dropping out entirely. He missed a majority of that school year as a result of his grief, deciding that he felt there was no point for school any longer.

Yet with the surprising help of Sheriff Peterkin he had pushed himself back into finishing school. The school understood of course, but that didn’t mean it didn’t take a toll on his academic record. 

“I’m sure it’ll work out in the end,” Pope encouraged and JJ nodded, before the blonde clapped and looked around, eager to get John B’s mind off the matter. 

“Oh shit look there’s Quincy,” JJ pointed out and the trio made their way over the where a large group of other Pogues who had gathered up on one side of the bleachers. While some schools may have had senior sections or something of the like, their gym was separated by Kooks, Pogues, parents, and then any visitors from the opposing school. 

“Hey JJ what’s up man?” 

JJ dapped up Quincy and the two of them began talking about something or another as John B and Pope were greeted by the people around them. 

“Yeah (Y/N)!!” someone near them yelled, “You dig those balls!” 

The three boys turned to the court and watched as you shook your head and laughed but kept your focus on the court. You squatted down low once more and they watched as you warmed up, passing dimes for your setter to set. 

“Woooh (Y/N)!” JJ’s hands were cupped around his mouth as he yelled.

“Yeeeahhh!” John B yelled and was followed up by the student section of their gym, Pogues and Kooks alike, cheering for their team despite it only being in warm ups. 

Soon enough people had settled into the bleachers as the Varsity game came to a start. (Pope, JJ, and John B had yelled their hearts out at your introduction - “Number 10, Libero: (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!”. And JJ had pointed out where Kie was bustling over at the snack bar, charming people into buying whatever she pointed out to them). 

“Oh shit hey, I’m gonna go say hi to (Y/N)’s parents. I totally forgot,” Pope told his friends and the two nodded, waving him off. Pope mumbled “excuse me’s” as he maneuvered his way by people’s legs and tried not to knee anybody in the back of the head. He jogged down the steps of the bleacher and made his way to where the parents were all situated, watching the game intently. There was a bout of cheering and Pope glanced over to the court to watch you jump up in excitement as your team scored another point. 

“Hey Pope!” Pope looked up at that and smiled as your mom waved him over to where she was sitting with your dad.

“Hi!” he greeted, and leaned over as your mom stretched her arms up to give him a hug in greeting. 

“Your parents not here tonight?” your dad questioned and Pope shook his head. 

“Nah they couldn’t leave the store. They really wanted to come though. (Y/N)’s last first game and all.” 

“Ah well that’s alright, plenty of games after this one.” 

“Of course. Uh Mrs. (Y/L/N) how’s the party planning?” your mom rolled her eyes though he could tell there was no ill intent. 

“Stressful. All (Y/N) focused on was her dress and her guest list. Finding a place to even have the party was almost impossible,” your mom explained and Pope chuckled. 

“(Y/N) won’t even let me know what the dress looks like,” Pope told them and your mom laughed as your dad nodded. 

“She’s hid it from her dad too.”

“Won’t be able to see it ‘till the party,” your dad shook his head at that as Pope let out a surprised chuckle. 

“You ate that (Y/N)!” someone yelled and Pope and your parents glanced over at the game and watched you get picked up by Isabelle as your team cheered over winning the first set of the match. 

“Well I’m gonna head back to my friends,” Pope pointed over to where John B and JJ were sitting, now with the addition of Kie. 

“Of course, of course. We’ll be seeing you at our house later?” your mom teased and Pope shrugged as he laughed. 

He waved your parents goodbye and by the time he’d gotten back to his friends Kildare was already ahead in the second set. 

“Not working anymore Kie?” Pope questioned as he took a seat beside her leaving her between him and JJ. 

“Yeah we made shifts so it’s Marco’s turn,” Kie explained pointing over to the snack bar. 

“Was our volleyball team always this good?” JJ questioned and Pope scoffed. 

“Yeah you were just too busy staring at their asses to watch them play,” he reached around Kie to shove at the blonde and JJ batted his arms away. 

“Hey, you can’t exactly blame me!” 

“Gross JJ,” Kie rolled her eyes and the boy looked at Kie with an offended look before turning to John B as if to say, ‘are you hearing this?’. John B only shook his head at his best friend. The 3 Pogues chuckled at JJ’s expense before they turned back to the game. It was your turn to serve now and as you waited for the referee to blow his whistle John B reached up and cupped his hands around his mouth. 

“Do it for Pope, (Y/N)!!” 

Pope whipped his head over to John B as the students around them “oooh’d!” some of them shoving at Pope playfully. From the court he missed how you glanced up at where they were sitting, a grin on your face as the referee finally blew the whistle to let you serve. 

“Shut up John B!” Pope hissed and the brunette only laughed it off as Kie mentioned how Pope should’ve been used to this by now and JJ yelled. 

“For Poooope!!!!” JJ yelled as you served the ball. 

The Kildare supporters all cheered as you aced your serve and Pope flushed in embarrassment as you turned and pointed to him, riling up the crowd of students as those closest to him shoved at him once more. 

“Yes King!” someone yelled at Pope and he couldn’t help but grin as he pointed back at you. 

[minkdenmilo]

💙 Autism Trait Listing Time 💙

I am self-diagnosed as of now but I'm in the process of trying to get tested and my diagnosed friend said that a lot of what I told her lines up so it's likely I am autistic.

+ Constant Fidgeting: Bouncing of my leg, Tapping of my fingers - If I stop I am physically uncomfortable and tend to shake my ankle/foot or shake my wrist/hand

+ Sensory Oveload at Noise: Usually it's not the loudness of noise for me, but the overlapping of noises. Hearing a television play a show + someone talking + someone somewhere else talking etc. makes me get a headache and I sometimes feel like crying because I can't focus or really hear myself think.

+ Sensitivity to Sudden/Loud Noises: I flinch and startle at loud noises frequently- to the point in which it is noticeable by friends. If the bell goes off when I don't expect it to or the fire alarm I nearly fall out of my chair. If my dad raises his voice or if anyone gets upset and raises there voice I instantly assume they're yelling and tense up- even if they're just raising their voice a little.

+ Tactical/Texture Sensitivity: I detest certain textures and actively avoid them like cotton balls (which feel like how nails on a chalkboard sound), fennel/rosemary, any texture in drinks, nuts in bread, etc. in which my family has noticed and teased me over. Where as other textures I adore and constantly seek out like tree bark or soft fur like textures.

+ Stimming(?): I constantly pick at my skin and when I try to stop I can briefly before I go back to doing it without thinking because it's relaxing. I constantly play with the joysticks on my Nintendo Switch to help compensate and give my hands something to do. I use a fidget spinner sometimes as well to help relax and when I get anxious I use it more often cause the noise it makes and the action of spinning it is helpful. I also do the ASL (sign language) alphabet without thinking to myself just cause it's relaxing and when told to stop I get a bit anxious. I tap my fingers together repetitively a lot and my friends have noted this and have mentioned I tend to do it more when I'm stressed or bored.

+ Hyperfixation: I have the habit of finding something I like and then focusing on it violently. When I was a kid I would watch the same three movies (Newsies, Highschool Musical, and Hairspray) on repeat until I memorized the lines. I went through a phase where everyday I watched Total Drama for like half a year- I still remember the events of each episode. If I watch a video on a video game I have to look up the Wikipedia entry on it, read everything in the fan wiki, and watch video after video deconstructing the game until I'm satisfied. I'll listen to the same song for hours at a time for a week or more and then ramble about it to my friends. My habit of infodumping everything I know about a subject bothers my families and friends. I'll ramble for an hour about an idea I have for a play to a friend before realizing I haven't shut up cause I know most people don't care about minute things like I tend to.

+ Being a Kid: As a kid I was definetely the odd one out. I would hug everyone regardless of who they were, how close we were, or if they were receptive. I just had to hug people- I would get upset if I couldn't hug people. To this day I have stuffed animals I hug because I get anxious without the physical sensation of hugging after too long. I never seemed to be on quite the same wavelength and would stare people down just randomly, even I didn't really understand why I'd do it but I would just lock eyes with someone and not stop until they told me to. People would openly mock me and it would go over my head because I genuinely thought they were my friends and were being nice (I would get called werewolf due to my messy hair and sharp teeth and I would just smile and say I preferred being a vampire). I wore the same velcro shoes everyday until they wore out and demanded my mom buy the exact same pair. I'd cry whenever someone hurt my feelings even once I turned 10 and 11. I accidentally hurt my friends by punching them or pinching them cause I didn't realize how much I was hurting them until I drew blood or they demanded I stop.

+ Routine: I hate being late. I hate being on time. I have to be 10 minutes early to everything. If I have to be somewhere at 9 and its a 30 minute drive then I have to leave the house at 8 or 8:10. If it hits 8:11 and we aren't on the road I lose it. I cry and panic and I shake like a leaf until my dad starts the car. In elementary if we were even a second late I'd sob uncontrollably and panic. Now I still cry and shake but it's not as bad. I am an avid rule follower even when I know I'm being silly. My friends and I went to an abandoned building and I was anxious that we'd be arrested despite knowing people did it all the time and it was fine. I had to stay at school after hours for a project and I wouldnt stop worrying we'd get caught and expelled even though our teacher said we could. When I was like 8 or 9 I read about how not turning off your heater started fires so every day before I left for school I'd check to make sure the heater and oven were turned off three times each. Even if we'd never turned them on in the first place. I haven't been able to focus in online school without the structure of being physically in school no matter how hard I try. When my dad takes the family places last minute I feel unbearably anxious and out of it, even when I am aware I am overreacting. I have noticed executive disfunction issues in the past and when presented with multiple things I need to do I get overwhelmed and panic and do nothing instead. I hate clutter and in the desire to clean one item I end up deep cleaning everything just because I start one chore then think of another in the process and it spirals from there.

+ Misc: I have always been the sensitive emotional child. My mom frequently teases that I never get her sarcasm. I can't decipher how people feel unless I can hear their voice and see their face which makes texting and to a lesser extent voice calling anxious and weird for me. I actively avoid eye contact with people I don't know well and avoid conversation on elevators or in public spaces. I adore watching slime videos and stim boards are wonderful now that I've discovered them. Math isn't my strong suit because the numbers don't make sense to me- I can't decipher even simple algebra equations but I've always been great at reading and I pride myself on my vocabulary and way with words. Despite this I can't give speeches or explain things to save my life even if I know exactly what I mean and want to say I just cannot verbalize it properly so I have to write down exactly what I want to say before I say it. Even then I ramble too long and my dad frequently notes I can never "get to the point and trim out the unnecessary details" but like- I can't tell which details are necessary or not. I can never be presented a broad piece of information and understand it, I need every minute detail first otherwise I cannot understand the bigger concept and thus when I speak I provide every detail to make my point crystal clear. I also feel uncomfortable around authority figures and adults- way more than seems normal- and avoid eye contact and tend to be especially anxious and respectful because adults and authority figures just scare me.

These are all just like the immediate things that jump into mind + context around them. Idk if these could actually point to me being autistic but if anyone has any advice or help then please let me know. I'm kinda worried I'm being a hypochondriac but that might just be because my dad doesn't believe in autism so I'm internalizing that.

I've had close friends say some of my symptoms seem like anxiety or OCD but the texture based stuff and the fact that I have purposefully tried to stop stimming and fidgeting and have tried to repress my natural behaviors due to being seen as like weird and "off" makes me think maybe it might be autism and I just didn't realize because I assumed everyone dealt with similar things and I just was bad at handling it.

[deepdaleducks]

Slow Burn - Dele

Author’s Note So I got the idea for this based on a conversation @forza-atleti and I had this morning so I kinda had to write it asap. Idk if I have much else to say, I have some ideas for a second part of this so if you want more, let me know. I didn’t proof read any of it so if you see any mistakes, point them out nicely. I love getting feedback from you guys and I’m really enjoying writing at the moment so thanks for enjoying reading it!! Love you all x

“Hey erm, I kinda have to bail on tonight. I know we said we’d stay home and watch movies but, err, something’s come up and I can’t anymore. I’ll defo see you Sunday though, yeah? I’m sorry and erm have a good weekend.” You’d listened to the voicemail he’d left on your phone what felt like a million times. You knew exactly what the something that had come up was. Or who it was for that matter. His ex-girlfriend, Ruby. They’d broken up about a month ago, but it had been long and drawn out. He would still call her at night and sometimes she’d go to his place. And in the mornings, he would be at your front door, regret on his face, ranting about how he just can’t seem to leave her. How unfollowing her on Instagram didn’t seem to work because his car still knew the exact route to her house, even if he wasn’t planning to drive there. How he’d memorised her number, so deleting it was no good. How she was his biggest weakness. You would make him a cup of tea and some toast and tell him that with time and distance things will heal. That moving on to other people will help him get over her. How spending time with other people would distract him from thinking about going to her house.

That’s how your Valentine’s Day plans had come about. No boyfriends or girlfriends, no exes or drunk dials, just the two of you, friends, together with a movie and a take away pizza. It wasn’t going to be a date, and you weren’t going to tell him. Not that it didn’t hurt when you got his message. Not that it didn’t break your heart a little when you realised that he was choosing her over you. So instead of pizza and movies, its wine and Grey’s Anatomy. And if he shows up tomorrow, its ‘I’m late for work’. But from the look of her Instagram story, a fancy restaurant in the city, he won’t be showing up in the morning anyway.

Your phone buzzes with a text, pulling you from your third episode of the night.

Chlo: Soooooo, how’s your night going?? If you don’t reply I know what you’re up to😉😉 get it girl!!!

When you’d told her about your plans for Valentine’s Day she’s shrieked in excitement. She had been begging you to reveal your true feelings to Dele for weeks and when she found out about his break up, she’d called you immediately saying that this was your chance. You’d insisted that this wasn’t your chance and that if you told him now, you’d just be a rebound and everything would fall apart. Instead you went for the option of being a shoulder to cry on and letting your friendship grow. You typed in a quick reply before turning back to the tv.

Me: He bailed. Back with her, I guess.  

Her reply comes through almost instantly. You pause the tv and head into the kitchen to fill your wine, figuring that if you were gonna be texting for a while you may as well get another glass.

              Chlo: Oh babe.

              Chlo: ….

Before she has the chance to type any more, you change the subject quickly.

              Me: It’s fine. How was your night with Jesse? His leg doing okay?

The two of you had become friends at the World Cup last summer. You’d bonded in the family and friend’s area of the stands over being two of the most outraged people there. You were both yelling over the referee’s poor decision. Somehow that led to you talking and becoming friends. When you’d introduced yourself as Dele’s friend, she’d quickly joked about how she thought Dele had gotten a new girlfriend, and you could tell she’d regretted it. “She doesn’t like me, either” You’d replied, and her face was flooded with relief. Since then, you were constantly texting, meeting up in each other’s city, watching the boys at games.

Chlo: Oi oi, don’t try to change the subject. We’re just having the night in, Jess is fine. Are you okay though?

Her text flashes up and then seconds later a call is coming through. You answer, sipping on your wine before talking.

“Chlo, I’m fine honestly. It’s Valentine’s Day, of course he’s gonna go back to her, I don’t know why we didn’t see it coming.” You say before she can even begin to rant about how shitty his actions were.

“Nah, that was a shitty thing for him to do. Imma be having words, swear down.” You hear Jesse’s voice echo in, realising you were on speaker phone, you chime in a ‘hey Jess’. You laugh at his threats.

“Yeah, babe, everyone and their grandma’s cat knows that she treats him badly. I don’t get why he can’t see that.” Chloe sighs. The three of you were biased for sure, with neither of you being her biggest fan, but it wasn’t hard to deny that she did treat him badly. And you would treat him so much better.

“There’s not much I can do about it though, is there? Like hey Del, break up with your girlfriend I love you more than she ever could. He’s not exactly going to fall into my arms. He’s wrapped around her finger, for fuck’s sake.” You reply, trying to push down any feelings for him that were rising in your heart.

“What are you doing this weekend? You wanna come up and stay with us?” She asks impulsively. Despite your usual plans to see Dele on Sunday, you agree, planning to make the drive up tomorrow after work. “I know your heart is hurting right now, babe, but he’ll see the light eventually. We’ll make sure of it.” She finishes.

“Hell yeah, we will!” Jesse yells from the background. With that you hang up and head upstairs to pack a small bag for your impromptu weekend away.

 When you get out of work on Friday night, you immediately get in the car and begin the four hour drive up to Manchester. The traffic delays don’t phase you, the promise of a warm home cooked meal keeping you on.  Your car pulls into the drive of your friend’s house, the warm lights from inside welcoming you. Inside you find Chloe and Jesse, taking your bag and coat.

“Surprise!” a familiar voice yells, emerging from the living room. You turn to see Marcus walking over to you with his arms open to hug you. “Been way too long, chuck,” he says, squeezing you tightly.

“Yeah sorry, I couldn’t come to see you at Fulham the other week. Work’s been so busy recently.” You respond pulling away. “Alright, not to be rude, but I’m starving so where’s the food?”

The four of you head into the dining room, engorging on a meal prepared by Chloe. Jesse claims to have helped with the cooking but you and Marcus both return with jokes about how Jesse has absolutely no cooking ability whatsoever and that the boy couldn’t even chop a carrot if he tried.

The night passes by with ease, as you share jokes and stories. Marcus talks about the girl he’s been seeing, and Jesse teases that she’s so out of Marcus’ league. The boys tell stories from training and talk about how rough its going to be now Jesse is injured. And Dele doesn’t cross your mind once. No thought about how she was probably in his bed right now. About how things should be different.

 In the morning, Chloe takes you to brunch and then you head out for some retail therapy.  She forces you to buy a new black dress, claiming that you should find a date for next weekend and wear the dress to knock the socks of your suitor.

“You now I’ve tried dating other people, Chlo. I have. Do you not remember Jake? Or Ben? Or that guy I went out with like a month ago!” You protest. Dating other people hadn’t been successful albeit. Every time you found something that felt that it could work, Dele would show up at your door in the night, eyes puffy from crying, voice hoarse from yelling, and you would let him in again. He would fall into your bed, and you’d hold his hands whilst he slept.  He would tell you that he was never going to find anyone else like you. And then he would leave in the morning and go back to her. Like clockwork.

“Yeah but Jake was the opposite of everything you want so that was never gonna work, and Ben was a dickhead anyway. Besides, if Del sees you dating someone else it might make him a little jealous. Remind him that he’s not the only guy in your life, yeah?”  She gives you a look that says I’m right and you best believe me, so you slowly nod your head in response, convincing yourself that her plan is good one.

She’s called into work in the afternoon and you’re left at home with Jesse, who’s still resting from his injury. You flick through Sky Movies together trying to find a film that suits both of your tastes. You want romcom and he wants action which leads to the two of you bickering like siblings over the remote. Pausing as you flick past The Proposal, you turn to look at him.

“I noticed you still didn’t put a ring on Chloe’s finger this Valentine’s then.” You tease, eying his response carefully. They’d been together for a while and you and Marcus had made bets on when they’d get engaged before Christmas, with him thinking it would be in the summer and you insisting it had to happen soon.

“Nah, nah, Valentine’s proposals are cringing as fuck man. That’s so typical. I don’t want her to be expecting it, so I’m skipping Christmas, Valentine’s, her birthday, our anniversary, none of that.” He defends himself, shaking his head.

“Christ, Jess. At this rate I’m gonna be getting married before you and I’m in love with a guy who is constantly going back to his ex.” You joke, the words stinging a little as you say them.

“It’ll happen soon, I swear. Maybe next month, who knows? March is nothing important, right?” He pauses to look you over, “Do you, though? Love him?” His question puts you on edge. No one had ever asked you that before. Sure, Chloe had teased you about your crush and about the fact you liked him. But the word love had never come up. Especially not in this content. Your mind spins as you think, but quickly enough, you have one clear thought.

“How could I not?” You ask, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

 It’s 9pm before you finally hear from him. You never replied to his voicemail on Thursday and since then the two of you hadn’t interacted.

              Del: We still on for brunch tomorrow morning? I’ll pick you up at 10 x

              Me: In Manchester so I can’t.

Your reply is blunt, but worthy. He bailed on you, so you’re bailing on him. As much as he could have you like butter in his hands, you wanted to show a little distance. The distance crumbles when his face flashes on your screen displaying an incoming call and you answer immediately.

“What the fuck are you doing in Manchester?” He asks with a tone of anger in his voice. “Were you just not planning to tell me you were cancelling on our weekly brunch?”

You scoff in response, “That’s a little rich coming from you right now, Dele. Chloe and Jesse called me on Thursday night and invited me up for the weekend, so I happily accepted.” Throwing in the detail that they invited you on Thursday was done to spite him. You were supposed to see him on Thursday, and hopefully him realising that you had other offers would hurt a little.

“Oh right,” he mutters in response. “I guess we’ll have to do it another time then.”

“Yeah maybe…” You trail off, “Look, I gotta go. I, erm, I’ll see you when I’m back sometime.” Hanging up the phone you leave it in the kitchen, heading back into the living room to watch more tv with your friends. When you retire up to bed you leave your phone downstairs, happy to not be distracted by any social media or messages. Your phone sits on the kitchen counter, 10 unread text messages and 3 missed calls unnoticed on the screen.

 You’re sound asleep when you hear a banging on the door downstairs, followed by three more rings of the doorbell. You slowly pull yourself from the comfort of your bed and throw your dressing gown on, heading out in to the hall to see what’s causing all the noise. Jesse emerges from the master throwing a t-shirt on.

“You stay here, I’ll go see what it is.” He says sleepily. Waiting at the top of the staircase, you hear him open the door and mumble a “what are you doing here, it’s the middle of the night”. Straining your ears, you try to make out the other voice. It sounds familiar and the pieces of conversation you hear help you to piece it all together.

“I need to speak to her…”

“Look bro, it’s the middle of the night.”

“No but I need to see her.”

“I don’t know if she wants to see you… Come back tomorrow maybe, man.”

“I need to tell her it’s over.”

The last thing you hear sends you down the stairs tentatively. He stands there in the entrance hall, joggers and a t-shirt, bags under his eyes, presumably from driving all night, hair a mess, eyes pleading. Jesse looks between you and notices his que to leave, heading upstairs with a whispered shout if you need me.

“It’s over?” You ask, not stepping any further in his direction. He nods weakly in reply. You feel like you’re having déjà vu, flashing back to this exact situation a few weeks ago. You remember him crying, saying those same words. Then you remember him going back to her, and again and again. A bitter taste appears on your tongue and you feel a sudden urge to get a glass of water.

“Good for you,” you mutter, walking straight past him towards the kitchen. He follows you instantly, keeping his distance on the other side of the room.

“Good for me?” He hisses quietly, careful not to make any noise. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I don’t think you’re telling the truth.” You huff, looking at him tiredly. “It means that I’ve been down this road so many times with you recently, Del, that I’m just bored of it.”

“No, I’m serious. It’s over.” He pleads with you, moving closer. You don’t respond and a silence settles between the two of you for a minute. You stare out the window into the garden and he stands behind you at a distance, facing in the same way. He eyes your reflection in the mirror and your eyes meet. “You know how I know it’s over? Friday morning, we wake up and we agree to go to dinner in the evening, right. And she calls me later saying, she’s invited to some club event and she’s gonna have to skip the dinner, am I arsed about it? No, not really. But then yesterday, hearing that you’re not coming to brunch and that you’re all the way up in Manchester and I had no idea. That broke my heart. Because I pushed you out of my life, and I don’t ever want you to not be a part of my life.” When he pauses to breath you turn around to look at him, leaning back against the counter. “I’ve been pushing you away to be with her and she’s not worth me losing you.”

Everything he’s saying sounds sweet. Perfect, in fact. But he’s still not saying the one thing you want to hear. He’s not saying he loves you, that he’s in love with you. And right now, as much as you want his attention, every second of his time isn’t worth it if he doesn’t love you back. The pain of him being your friend, but not yours, would be too much.

“Okay, well. I, um.” You stutter, lost for words. “I don’t think I can be your friend right now because…” The words are right there on your lips. Because I’m in love with you. You drop your eyes to the floor and attempt to move past him, out from where he’s trapped you in the corner of the kitchen.

“Because what? Because you’re in love with me?” His words echo your thoughts.

His words stop you in your tracks. “How do you know that?” you ask, not turning back to look at him.

“She pointed it out. Ruby. She’s the one who noticed it.” He stops for a minute, hoping you’ll lift your head, or turn around in interested. “She said she could tell by the way you looked at me, or the way your face would light up whenever you talked about me. It’s, uh, why we broke up actually. She was constantly scared I was gonna leave her for you, and I could never see it and thought she was just being jealous.”

If what he was saying was true, and he knew that you were in love with him, why was he constantly falling back into her bed. Why was he still putting her above you in his list of priorities?

“So, what? You know I’m in love with you, you break up with your girlfriend over it, cry on my shoulder and then still go back to sleep with her? None of that adds up, Dele. I don’t know what you’re doing, but whatever it is, it’s fucked up.”

He falters whilst processing your words. “I thought it wasn’t true. You never said you were in love with me and I didn’t wanna just spring it on you and ruin everything. I don’t know what I was doing, okay?” He says louder in frustration, throwing his hands in the air. “I’ve been in love with you since the day we met. But you were dating some guy, and she came along, and I just told myself to forget it. Then she goes and makes statements like that and it messes with my head.”

“You’re in love with me?” You ask, the new realisation sending excitement through your veins. Eyes finally meeting his for the first time in minutes.

“I am so fucking in love with you.” He grins cheekily. Hearing those words come out of his mouth dissipates every negative emotion that you’d been harbouring in the last few weeks. You feel the immediate pull of his gravity, drawing you across the kitchen into his arms. His lips crash against yours in an instant, lighting your entire body on fire. Its urgent and fierce and screams we’ve waited years to do this. When you part for breath, he rests his forehead against yours, and your eyes flutter open to meet his.

“What does this mean?” You ask, hesitantly.

“It means that we’re gonna go upstairs and sleep. Then tomorrow, we’re gonna wake up and I’m gonna take you on a date to get breakfast. And then I’m going to pay to get your car sent back to London, because in the afternoon I’m gonna drive you home.” He gives you another short sweet peck.

Your fingers find his and you drag him upstairs to the spare bedroom you’d been staying in. You fall into bed together, not for the first time, but when he reaches out for your hand like always, this time he uses it to pull you closer to him, and you know that tomorrow, he won’t be leaving.

READ PART TWO HERE

[disneydreamlights]

Pick five random questions (and also do the post apoc question as a sixth ;3) for Ticole, NiNick, Skyuuya, Matt/Luca, and whatever tf your otp for dark materials is?? i haven't been keeping up with your trash so idk what to ask for that one but also indulge yourself in your current trash plz

Yu I’ve been sitting here just like “I’m so sorry you asked” about that HDM pairing for the past ten minutes.

Partially because of the self indulgence and mostly just because they’re a train wreck.

I’m just gonna go in order for once because like...does anybody following me even care about this series? Or is this going to be me being self indulgent like I normally am with my oc ships. XD

Ticole:

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Absolutely Tip. He lacks self confidence to such a strong degree. One the flip side, Nicole is great at being there to comfort him, either by reminding him that everything’s okay and that  he’s loved or by providing whatever it is he needs and wrapping him in a blanket burrito. 

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

I refuse to take criticism that for Tip this isn’t the time that they were in Dragonspyre after reuniting and Tip started meowing at Nicole because he was very tired and she was just like “That’s cool you’re alive” because she was so relieved to have an alive Tip. 

For Nicole, it probably would have something to do with her falling asleep in the middle of doing something. I have a lot of thoughts on the idea of her spending a lot of super late nights reading once he falls asleep and she just ends up falling asleep in the middle of it because she’s not paying attention to the time. It’s hard in general for Nicole to get embarrassed in front of Tip because he’s just so naive about everything.

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

Mostly animated things. I see them watching a lot more wholesome movies and given Nicole’s origins, she’s very obviously a Disney fan. She also gets the final vote since what they’re watching isn’t important to Tip.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

Mmm this is an interesting question. On one hand, they’re badass and together nearly unstoppable even in the pre-revival stuff (which is what I’m going to focus on in general because that’s a more fun Ticole anyways) so the chance of anything taking one of them down once they make it to shelter? Unlikely. They probably serve as pillars of emotional stability and comfort for each other as they keep themselves safe from zombies.

But this comes with a stipulation. They’re untouchable so long as everything they love is safe.

It’d be unlikely for anything to happen to Ian or Charles but if it did, it’s pretty likely that Tip at least would fall apart.  So this could end up bad.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

Not counting worlds where they almost died??? I don’t think they would. Like literally the only place I could think of would be the bedroom because sex between the two of them? Super daunting there’s a reason I skipped the sex question every time RNG pulled it up.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

Oh dear god 95% of the annoyance with them I guarantee is directed at Nicole. Nicole is overprotective as shit over Tip and it gets to be ridiculous. The first couple of times she’s angry over somebody hurting Tip it’s scary but afterwards. “Nicole. Nicole plz. I know you’re upset but Nicole listen please shut up Tip’s fine. Nicole.”

I’m honestly surprised Ian hasn’t done anything yet tbh about this.

NiNick:

1. Who makes the first move and how?

I’m like...95% certain the person to take the leap was Nina? I don’t remember it’s been ages since I read the scene.

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

They take nights out? *shot*

No in all seriousness, these two when they do go out for the night probably have super romantic times. Nick’s supposed to be a romantic, so I could see him setting up candlelit dinners, figuring out the best showtime to watch the movie Nina’s really wanted to see, really doing the most to make their night out all the more special.

8. What do they like in bed?

Oh my god.

Nina’s not vanilla so her kinks go as far as Nick’s will that is all I will say on the subject.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

They try to keep moving on. I feel like they both alternate who’s functional on different days. Some days it’s both, and when it is they’re valuable resources to wherever they are. When one isn’t, I’d imagine the other just holds them while they try to cope with the fear and loss. There probably is some sex involved in all of this, because they can use it to help them forget that the world is ending and who knows when their next time could be their last.

Thankfully at least, they’re also social creatures. I’d imagine the two of them would stay in groups for as long as possible.

20. Where do they go on holiday?

Nina? Absolutely big amusement park nerd. I don’t think it matters where Nick wants to go she absolutely plans all her vacations around the fact that they might be able to stop by some kind of amusement park.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

Somebody please stage an intervention for their sex habits. Please.

Skyuuya

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Emphasis first of all in that these touches are always not sexual, but I can see Yuuya just always reaching for her as like small little gestures. Grabbing her hand if he notices she’s starting to panic. Giving her a hug when she seems just a little down. Just all sorts of reassuring small touches that absolutely mean a lot.

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

When they find the time to have a night out uninterrupted, I’d imagine it’s whatever dates Yuuya manages to come up with near where they’re based. This could be anything from beach trips to theme parks to nice dinners. It’s not really a specific thing they plan on a night out so much as just enjoying each other’s company for them.

But that being said I also see them sometimes just enjoying the peaceful nights by relaxing together for once and trading stories and talking. Like of course Yuuya wants to go all out on these dates but it’s despair world. He literally can’t because you always gotta be on guard so they make the most of it however possible.

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

Yuuya would be the most doting fuck if Sky got sick. She keeps telling him to stop. He’s gonna get sick. He really needs to stop. Except he absolutely doesn’t and brings her tissues and soup and wraps her in ten thousand blankets and “YUUYA IT’S A COLD I’M NOT DYING I DON’T NEED THIS MANY BLANKETS” except he’s not doing it because he thinks she’s going to die, he’s doing it because she’s Sky and absolutely deserves the best care she could ever get.

Then once he gets sick afterwards she throws a box of tissues at his head. granted she’s also making sure Yuuya has everything he needs for a full recovery from the cold but that’s less relevant.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

They start preparing to kill zombies. They’re the couple who just shows up on a motor cycle with their back towards each other and start shooting. They’re the zombie apocalypse dream team. They’re certified badasses. They’ll be fine.

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

First kiss after the prison (and not the peck Sky did to fluster Yuuya after getting together) is probably a little bit after the game??? Like they’re both together and spending time anchoring each other but like so much stuff went down and it’s just a lot to unload? And it’s not so much the where that matters but the when. Because I really would like to imagine like they’ve spent so much time worried and searching for their little siblings who mean the absolute world to them they have kinda put their relationship on the backburner in terms of being overly affectionate. And then they just finally find Sera and Sakuya and Hiyoko and they’re sitting there talking later that night and overwhelmed by emotions over the whole thing and idk who starts it but it’s like a “I’m really so glad we finally succeeded we found them” kiss.

Pre-PoD though? That’s a lot less happy. So I know we discussed that like...some really bad shit goes down and they start off not really getting along and gradually growing to care about each other because of an event that really forces them to understand the other? Well all I can imagine is whatever the terrible thing that happens is that really makes them get along? It happens. And of course even though they’re supposed to not like each other, but the other one of them is still listening to the other and supporting them because that hatred has been gone for a really long time and just like the one who’s hurt realizing that the other one has been there the whole time and they just realize “fuck I really like them” and somewhere in all this the kiss happens. So I guess in their room in the future foundation would be the answer to this.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

Why don’t they? *shot*

Well, for one, there’s definitely some things they need to work out. Yuuya is still a spy. Sky still has her duties as a Keyblade Wielder. Both have ties to literally different worlds and different duties and they need to figure out how to make that work, and how to work on being in a relationship despite the possibility of not seeing each other for months.

There’s also one very specific scenario we discussed, the one that cemented Leone’s hate for his dad because he thought that Yuuya ditched them or died? They definitely have serious talks over that. I mean, Yuuya’s probably around his thirties by that point. He’s not young anymore and death is a very real threat for him, just like it is for Sky. They both probably have to address that. Which speaking of Leone, they also probably have a lot to talk about given he’s their son and has awful darkness issues.

Luca/Matt

3. Who is the most romantic?

I could write an essay on this but we both know it’s gonna be Luca.

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

The movies vary, but given Luca’s taste? It’s either absolutely shit or a horror movie, there’s no real way around it. And Luca tries to give Matt the final vote because he knows he struggles with keeping attention so he wants to give Matt like...the best chance of being able to keep himself focused and comfortable during the movie, but he ends up with the final vote anyways.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

So long as Matt and Lila are fine? Luca’s doing awesome the entire time. He serves primarily as the moral support, and encourages his best friend and boyfriend to survive. 

Now why did I mention Lila? Because if something happened to either of them, that’s it. Luca’s shutting down completely. This boy is so reliant on them that he literally would be just done for in a zombie apocalypse. 

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

Whichever one is at fault will like apologize. If Luca’s at fault, he’ll do it after he’s calmed down but if Matt’s the one at fault he’s probably immediately apologizing. Then once they’re both chill I see them talking about it and the make up is probably in the unsaid “we’re working on our issues together.”

That being said this is Luca so true confrontations are probably pretty rare.

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

Luca’s apartment, after Luca nearly fucks up Matt still kisses him anyways. Luca questions if his boyfriend has taste or sanity immediately afterwards.

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

This is a twofold question.

It does not work between them the first time because Matt is a cultist who literally betrays Luca’s trust because he’s in fact working against him. This in turn is the last crack on Luca’s faliling mental health and he shatters and they very obviously have a lot to work on.

But once they get back together, because they do have the ability to work through it all? They work because they know better. Luca is all in and he loves Matt, and he brings out the best in Matt I’d like to think. They put forth the effort to be better and make it work because they both love each other, and so it works.

HDM Ship (Ma/sriel)

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Asriel. I could elaborate but the scene at the end of S1 really does speak for itself on this one. Of course Marisa doesn’t do the greatest job of this either or else the series wouldn’t exist.

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

I really had to think on this one but Marisa. She’s the younger of the two and despite her excellent facade in the series I do think her emotions would be a bit more free than Asriel’s, who’s shown to be emotionally in control for like the entire series. In spite of this it’s still an incredibly rare thing. We’re talking every once in a while, not frequent.

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

First of all they tease the other mercilessly. Neither Asriel nor Marisa are particularly doting (not until near the end of their life anyways) so they’re not the type to drop everything to take care of the other, especially since their relationship is secret in the first place. That being said they do make sure to check to make sure the other is alright when sick. Marisa probably brings some medicine and Asriel who funny enough I see as slightly more doting in this instance does his best to bring her things after she’s recovered (since she ya know, has to deal with the whole actually having a husband thing this is an affair why is this the ship hell I sunk into.)

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

God they’re probably studying the zombies to figure out how they came about because they’re like scientists. I hate this. XD

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

They don’t. I ship this but it’s highly dysfunctional. Marisa and Asriel are both stubborn and pigheaded and a part of me would honestly believe for them that fighting is a part of foreplay. Occasionally one might apologize for a fight but it’s not like either of them will really budge on either of their positions (well okay that’s a lie. At the end of TAS Marisa has decided god has to go too but that took three books to get there, and it’s still not so much because she hates religion so much as if he doesn’t die her daughter will and she would do anything for Lyra.)

But on the flipside, they also forgive each other? Like it’s like...they’ll fight, neither will apologize, but both sides will accept it. Because even when their relationship is absolutely at their worst and they hate each other for twelve years, they still care. Asriel is one of the only two things to get an emotional reaction out of Marisa. Marisa is one of the only two things to get an emotional reaction out of Asriel.

It’s really hard to explain, it’s less like they’d ever make up and more like they would just move on from the argument. They only have so much time to waste on it.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

Um literally everywhere. These two are literally having an affair behind Marisa’s husbands back they aren’t going to go broadcasting it. That being said it’s mostly travels around London that get bad. The farther away they get from Marisa’s home the more likely they are to throw caution to the wind. And of course when they’re doing research they also tend to be a lot less nervous because there’s nothing wrong about it that could cause them trouble (on the surface).

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 112 Thoughts

Congrats to Eren on giving all the good people contributing to his series’ Wild Mass Guessing page a shout-out. Good on you, man. You’ve got my vote on your cult not doing anything wrong or aggravatingly stupid ever.

Also, Zeke!

It’s rare we see such a prime example of a leader in a shounen manga knowing how to delegate. Props, my man!

I hope Annie kicks both your heads off!

This is an emotional chapter.

Before we begin, I have one thing I need to get off my chest.

Thank you for your time.

First thing first!

I love how Nicolo’s entire theory is, “something shady is up with the wine and idk Zeke and spinal fluid sounds right????” This entire chapter is one long tribute to everything the fandom has ever screamed about and it is fantastic in that one aspect.

Also, hey, hope for Falco. Zeke waits until all the bottles are empty before he screams, so I would guess that he at least prefers his victims to be properly dosed. Falco should be okay. The blunt force trauma might actually be the more concerning bit for the bright and shiny little one.

Another thing I love is how every single mention of Marley somehow makes Marley come across even worse.

Sorry, that’s not fair.

I love how every single mention of Marley reminds and confirms that they are the worse, and the reminders serve to dig that knowledge deeper into all our souls until we almost don’t mind when innocent civilians are wiped off the map if it means that structure no longer exists.

“Almost” being subject to innate character and morality.

Eren does not recognize the union of “almost” and adds the asterisk of “younglings” after “innocent civilians.”

Hell though, Nicolo. At least you found yourself, even if it did come after battering a child into unconsciousness. And you kept Connie and Jean from drinking the bad juice.

I really like the interaction between Nicolo and Sasha’s dad. Nicolo’s not the man he is. He loses himself in his anger and only chance stops him from crossing a very serious line.

But Mr. Blouse is the type of man Nicolo can see the merit in, and define himself by that gap because the end of that gap is something so much better than the man who come close to murdering children.

Some people are still learning to be better, even now, because of the good people they surround themselves by.

Gabi has been surrounded by nothing but warmth (barring Nicolo and Kaya’s trauma) since arriving to Paradis. Falco is a good guy. Mikasa and Armin are good people. The family of the soldier she killed are good people.

She isn’t charging at Mikasa and Armin (and geez every time these kids get a distance shot when the other characters are standing up it fucks me up; they are too tiny for any of this). She’s been passionately defending everything she and Marley has done, but now she’s quiet, and all she can do is ask for her friend, who keeps saving her life, to not be killed. All she can do is offer up her life to make up for the crimes that she can’t imagine being forgiven.

She is so young. Killing and violence and death are the obvious conclusions to her. She’s been taught that, and she excels at that, but now she keeps finding people who are willing to stand down and not kill her.

Reiner’s character is a slow stumble into his morality breaking his mind. Slowly, the idea that these people he’s surrounded by are people encroaches.

Gabi’s thrown into the deep end and the plot keeps shoving her head down when she struggles to the surface to breathe. None of this has been kind on her. The violent assault on her sanity is the kind she’s only ever been exposed to physically.

I haven’t put much thought into what I want from the Warriors, because thoughts of anything Marley adjacent always tend to irritate me. They’re trapped in a broken cycle that they’re perpetuating, and that makes them impossible to root for.

But I think Gabi needs her cousin.

She’s always wanted to be strong for him, and he’s only clinging to life because he wants to be strong for her and Falco.

Reiner knows what it’s like to learn that your simple world is infinitely more complicated than you can bear. This is his little cousin, and she’s gone through the crash course version of his nightmare. She doesn’t need the right answer that makes it all okay (there isn’t one), but a hug and someone understanding all of the twisting moral paradoxes shattering her insides would be such a helpful thing.

Heck, it would be good for Reiner, too. Seeing all of his pain in someone he doesn’t have the heart to blame. Maybe he could find some sort of path to peace in that.

Then everything just goes straight to hell.

Despite this chapter’s... this chapter...ness, Eren stepping straight into the backroom with his hand covered in blood? Hella fucking cool. Like. That is one thing I absolutely did not see coming, and it is a great way to bring him on back in.

I thought he wouldn’t get to talk to Armin or Mikasa until his plan exploded and they needed to bail him out. I never once expected him to just walk right in and take his buddies hostage for a nice, quiet conversation.

That said, yike.

Yike, yike, and dare I say it, yikes.

Grior reveals Our Heroes’ location, and that’s... really scary in itself, because Grior tells him that he’s grown too close with Eldians, yet Grior is helping the fanatical Eldians act in accordance with Zeke’s plans.

So it isn’t that Nicolo’s gotten too close with Eldians, it’s that he’s grown close to them without the purpose of exploiting them. Which, as every Marleyan soldier knows, is a bad thing.

And Floch doesn’t mind. He’s accepting the help of Grior without any comment.

Let’s do a brief headcount: Yelena, Zeke, and Eren run a cult of fanatic Eldians under the banner of a new Eldian Empire. Paradis’ military is theoretically running Paradis but really sentenced to the whims of said cult. At least one prisoner of war sides with helping out the cult. The Anti-Marley Volunteers (or at least Onyankopon) are in the dark.

Floch is, partially, willing to let Zeke’s plans play out however they may because they can work to destabilize the current Paradis government.

It’s fitting that this chapter is called, “Ignorance.” Willful and unwillful.

And as Eren says, nothing is further from freedom.

Now let’s get to the fun happy times of EMA.

See? Eren gets out of prison and the first thing on his mind is talking to his best friends! Such a touching, emotional sentiment!

...

Yeah, do you guys know where to begin? I don’t.

This is just.

Honestly, I keep moving back to yikes?

Eren is gathering people he has no emotional attachment to to his side, and aggressively pushing his friends away. He is doing everything he can to abandon them on the roadside and make sure they will have zero desire to come crawling back to him.

The question is if he’s doing this because he believes it’s best within his own head, he believes it’s the best response to being threatened into this, or if Eren’s just gone completely haywire in the membrane and his PTSD is finally attacking people besides himself emotionally.

This kind of deliberate cruelty has like. motive.

Mikasa tries to talk to Eren by reminding him of how kind he is. The warmth is what saves her in her mind, not the violence. She’s the one to bring up the kidnapping.

Eren counters.

Nothing like kindness saves her. It’s biology. Friendship doesn’t bind them, slavery does. Happenstance brings them together and keeps them there.

Mikasa argues. She says he’s wrong, and tells him it’s because of him that she’s strong, meaning him as a person.

Eren doesn’t address that. Despite being the one to ask how he’s wrong, when he’s given an attempt at an answer, he keeps monologuing rather than respond to Mikasa’s feelings for him. He brings up her headaches.

Mikasa is dead, and a slave, and he hates her.

“Do you know who I hate most in this world? Anyone who isn’t free.”

Ignorance is furthest from freedom. Even in this script Eren has adopted, no matter how much of it is the truth, if Eren’s seeking to relieve Mikasa of her ignorance, he’s seeking to bring the slave he hates so much freedom. From him.

Funny, she might protect Eren automatically, but she doesn’t have any problem with headaches when Armin punches Eren and makes him bleed.

Armin earns a less prolonged speech before all of it, and it’s...

For both of them, this is the worst thing they could hear from Eren. Armin, as a child, always feels useless next to his strong friends. His huge moment in Trost comes from realizing they never see him that way. It’s all in his head.

This isn’t in his head. This is Eren, telling him he’s useless.

Telling him that Bertolt, who’s only in his head because Eren fought tooth and nail to put him there, is interfering with his free will.

(Also even if everything Eren is saying is the bull it feels like, can has Frieda!Eren? Memory seepage. Canonize my brotp, manga. Do it.

(Double also, lol at Eren saying that memories are part of who you are, and Armin having Bertolt’s means bad things, but Eren having... lots has no effect, he is teh free as a bird. Kiddo, you are not a good bad guy.))

Eren calls himself free before he starts talking. He’s free from his ignorance in a way they are not, and he chooses to enlighten his friends.

Good grief. And more grief. Less than good grief?

Terrible grief?

ALL the grief.

Eren’s the one who wants a peaceful talk with his friends. All so he can beat the crap out of them physically and emotionally.

Eren.

What in the fuck. What reason could you possibly have to need Armin and Mikasa that far away from you? Why do they need to be pushed out of trying to see the good in you?

I’m sure there’s a reason, because story.

But wow.

Killing younglings was one thing. Lording the high ground and your blood brother over your real family?

Your heroic sacrifice where you finally die and everyone’s crying about how you did all this stupid stuff alone but truly for a good cause had better make me cry like a damn baby kid, or you are dead to me.

Additionally, heeeey. Guess what.

Guess what Eren’s learned about important things.

And throwing them away.

Can you guess.

Can you.

It’s the family he has that isn’t pro-murder.

That’s actually of serious interest to me, because one of the things I think the story has been moving towards is an actual examination of the belief that you need to sacrifice things to change things. While Armin states that in a philosophical, hey, this seems like how we win, way, the story has, more and more, focused on the love that keeps people from making certain sacrifices.

Eren’s thrown love, the only reason Armin’s alive to punch him, away.

For as dark as this story is, that’s never been the right choice. Letting people go is understood and respected. Disloyalty is scorned and rejected.

My theory for a while has been that the true answer to these sacrifices is that if you throw away the things you care about to change the world, that world will have changed into something abominable.

The world would be a different place if Sasha didn’t care about killing children.

Sasha being Sasha is why Nicolo tries to fight Zeke’s plans.

Eren’s world without Armin and Mikasa is not going to be a better one for him, and possibly not for anyone else, either.

Then we lead into...

Things that just make me really, really uncomfortable.

I don’t mind people like Levi suggesting that someone eats Zeke, then dies in a few months when Historia eats that person. I. That’s fine. That’s a fine plan, and it makes sense for where they’re at, and anyone who agreed to that would agree, no issue.

Historia’s plotline continues to make me... uncomfortable is really the word. Not the tragic, devastating uncomfortable that Eren’s stuff is. Just... the sickening kind. The fact that people have, off-screen, come to terms with perpetuating the same kind of bloody sacrifice of their children that plagues their entire society after we had an entire arc ending with Historia going hey, actually fuck that...

A thirteen-year-old being bred to eat its mother is a disgusting concept.

I know I’ve said it before, and I realize people are probably done with my feelings on the subject, but if that is really the story being told--even if it avoids that conclusion, the fact that a scheme like that is allowed to get so far without any comment to the contrary except by the Kylo Ren wannabe at the very start--

Why in the fuck should I care what happens to these people?

You raise a child to die for you, you don’t deserve to live.

What happens if they don’t consent in thirteen years? What if they don’t want to eat their mommy? Oh well, we’re going to force you, just like every other Eldian society from the dawn of time? Or guilt you into it because thousands of lives depend on you having none?

Fuck all of you. If that’s your plan, I don’t mind Zeke killing each and every last one of you. I will naturally prefer if he dies in the process, but it’s not the prerequisite you might think.

(Repeated statement that at this point, I will be doing my fandom activities until the series ends, but yeah. This is the place where I choose to opt out, emotionally, if it’s really going down like this.)

Um. In news that actually matters to people who aren’t me, heeeeey, Levi alone in the forest with 31 titans.

This is why the SnK kinkmeme was created.

It’s also really sad.

They killed the titans inside their home.

Zeke’s bringing them back.

Annie needs to kick so many people in the head I can’t even.

[joeybelle]

Oh, how the tables have turned -- Part 3

Clyde Logan x Reader

Inspired by @clyde-prompts: “Some guys are rude and use ableist slurs against Clyde. The reader is with them, and although she feels bad about what’s happening, is too scared to say anything in front of her “friends”. She comes back to the bar a couple nights later to try and show him she’s not a bad person. They get to know each other and fall in love”. Doesn’t fully follow the prompt

Warnings: Language, first person POV, driving under the influence cause I assume everyone does it in that movie, IDK what I’m doing.

Rating: Mature

Setting: Pre-Heist

Tags: @lonelyravenclaw​ @kyloren-supreme-ben​ @onmyknees4steve​ @elsablackswift​ @helloimindelaware​ @mwcritics

A.N: I’ve decided to slice this fic into 3000-ish words parts for people to be able to scroll past it without much annoyance. Pert 3 ended up being much longer than expected, so i had to cut it into two parts somewhere in the middle. It’s not perfect, but you’ll be getting both parts today. When I finish editing. Might take a while. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the story. Feel free to drop me a line anytime or just message me if you wanna squee about Clyde Logan in general.

Rejection is always a tough pill to swallow. It wasn’t the first I’d gotten rejected and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but it still didn’t go down easily. I found myself moping at home the next few days, following what I’d gotten used to calling the ‘series of unfortunate events’ related to Clyde Logan. Not that I had that many alternatives anyway, being a friendless nobody in a small town, but this time it felt self-imposed.

In the meantime I cut the grass in my yard and discovered a few rose bushes that were beautiful, but mean to my hands, I watched how the living room ceiling started leaking one rainy afternoon, signalling a pretty serious hole in the roof, nearly broke my neck going into the basement because there was a missing step I hadn’t seen before; I opened the vodka bottle all by myself and realized that he had been right, drinking alone wasn’t fun at all, but I was doing it anyway to hide my shame; I ate ice cream and binged Netflix shows for the rest of the week.

But there’s a limit to how much time you can spend alone at home before starting to go insane. I reached mine the next weekend and for a moment I considered paying Mellie a visit, but then I remembered the whole Clyde ordeal and I decided against it. I was sure that he’d told her everything and I really didn’t feel like talking about it. It was bad enough that I was beating myself up over it, I didn’t need someone else to rub it in. So, since the Duck Tape was off-limits for obvious reasons, and I didn’t feel like exploring for another bar in the neighbourhood I was left with only one option: the country fair.

I used to really love country fairs and carnivals and all that when I was a teenager, but it was probably because I’d be with my friends and there would be booze and food and we’d just be stupid together. I wasn’t sure I’d find them as charming nowadays, but at least I’d be moping outside, in public, which was an improvement to being secluded in my own home, waiting for another rain to invade the living room through the ceiling. So I showered, dressed like a semi-decent swamp witch and went to the damn thing.

As expected, the country fair didn’t impress me at all but it was a way to kill a few hours while feeling like less of a hermit than usual. I ate something, tested some insanely sweet drinks, and stuffed my face with enough ice cream to endanger my health, so in the end I found myself sitting on a bench, dangerously close to a food coma, with nothing better to do than to watch the crowd. Other people seemed to have way more fun than me. There were couples holding hands, parents with their kids, teenagers in groups visiting attractions and Clyde Logan with a blonde kid attached to his arm. Wait, what?

I have to say, this was the last place I had expected to see Clyde Logan. In my head, country fairs didn’t really fit his style (because I had spoken to him twice and I knew all there was to know about the man, obviously), and I assumed he’d be too busy with the bar to come to one anyway. I remembered that it was pretty early and the bar probably wasn’t open yet, but his presence in my field of vision was still unexpected.

I sighed dramatically and leaned back, arms crossed over my chest. Speak about bad luck, I thought. I came here to avoid him and here he was, swinging a blonde kid on his very toned arm. Actually, I didn’t mind the view. He was distracted by the kid and far enough not to notice my staring, so I indulged in it for a moment. There’s no harm in looking, right? Especially when he was wearing a dark, short-sleeved shirt that seemed at least a size too small, the buttons threatening to give in anytime he flexed his muscles while lifting the little girl in the air. His niece? Maybe. She seemed vaguely familiar, so I assumed she had been part of the onslaught of school kids that were sent to visit the college I worked at. Or maybe she was his kid. I had no way of knowing for sure.

Whatever the case, he looked really good doing it. He was smiling for a change. An open and honest smile lit up his usually somber face, and I just couldn’t look away. I caught myself wishing he would smile at me like that, but then I realized that we were practically strangers and I hadn’t made the best impression the first time we met. And since he clearly rejected me, I had to get over this crush ASAP if I wanted to live peacefully in this town.

The little girl let go of his arm and ran back to a couple that, after a bit of squinting, I recognized to be Jimmy Logan and his sister Mellie. They both looked different—after all it had been more than a decade since I’d last seen them—but not so much that I didn’t recognize them. Jimmy lifted the girl in the air and kissed her, then put her down and looked straight at me with a shit eating grin on his face. The feeling was similar to being punched in the gut. I remembered that in another life I’d dreamed of Jimmy Logan looking at me with a smile, but right now the only thing I felt was panic, so I decided to get the hell out of there before Mellie noticed me and I’d have to be part of a very awkward conversation.

But luck definitely wasn’t on my side today, because the little girl started running towards me yelling ‘Miss’ at the top of her lungs. Oh, now I recognized her: she was the pageant girl. Really smart kid, very bubbly and friendly, talked my ear off during the college tour. Her favourite subject was, of course, pageants.

“Hi!” I said, when she stopped in front of me, grinning from ear to ear. “You must be… uhhh… uhhhh.” Crap. I had been calling her pageant girl in my head for so long that I’d forgotten her name.

“Sadie!” she helpfully reminded me.

“Sadie, right. How are you today?”

“Good. Daddy brought me to the fair to see the auctioneers. And later uncle Clyde will win me a unicorn.” I did my best not to steal a glance at Clyde at the mention of his name, not wanting to invite any more attention towards me. Hopefully I’d be able to get out of here before the adults ganged up on me.

“Awesome!” I said, panic clearly noticeable in my voice, because Jimmy Logan was rapidly approaching (despite his visible limp) with Mellie following closely. “It was nice seeing you today, Sadie, but I have to go now. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your unicorn.”

“Aw, leaving already?” She looked genuinely sad and I felt bad for her, but I felt even worse for myself, so I had to go.

“Yeah, leaving already? Without even saying hello?” Jimmy caught up to us before I was able to disappear, so I put on my most believable fake smile and hoped for the best. “Come on, don’t be a stranger, Baby,” he said, pulling me into a hug.

“Well, I kinda thought I was,” I mumbled, but returned the hug. He seemed like a nice person, plus I’d held him on a pedestal for so many years that I could indulge in a hug.

“Daddy, why are you calling her baby?” Sadie aske, giggling.

“Cause that’s her nickname,” he said, ruffling her hair. He explained to her that I’d been called baby ever since I was little, but she had to be polite and call me by my real name. The kid giggled again and I mouthed ‘I hate it’ which made her laugh harder, before turning to face her dad once again.

“I am surprised you know that. I lived under the impression that you had no idea who I was,” I said, going to hug his sister. “Hi Mellie, long time no see.” In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut and pretended we were at least acquaintances. And although I knew it could be interpreted that way, I wasn’t bitter that he never acknowledged me in my teens—after all, it was just puppy love and it had been a decade since then—but I was curious what had prompted this sudden display of familiarity. If anything, I would have expected Mellie to come alone to say hi.

“Hiya, sweetheart. It’s good to have you back.” She warmly returned my hug.

“What do you mean I had no idea who you were? You’ve been coming to my games since you were twelve and cheered louder than the whole cheerleading squad.” That was true. “How could I not know my biggest fan?”

“So you what, ignored me on purpose?” I said, arching an eyebrow.

“Well, it’s not like I did it on purpose,” he said and laughed. His laugh was still the same as I remembered, loud and contagious. “But my brother here had the biggest crush on you and I just didn’t wanna make him more jealous.” Well, this was unexpected.

Clyde had conveniently stayed out of my line of sight, keeping his distance, but now I turned to look at him. Never in my life had I seen anyone blush so furiously in a matter of seconds, his whole face even his ears becoming a deep shade of red. He was glaring at Jimmy who seemed really unfazed by it.

“Is that so?” I pressed, feigning innocence, but deep inside me there was a little devil laughing maniacally. I mean, I was aware that it wasn’t very nice of me, but I was feeling a tiny bit of petty satisfaction knowing that I wasn’t the only one embarassed by the whole situation. Misery loves company.

“Yeah, he only ever came to my games to see you cheer,” Jimmy said, same shit eating grin plastered on his face, seeming completely oblivious to his brother’s discomfort.

I smiled back but wonder what Jimmy’s motive was. Talking to me out of the blue, after never acknowledging me before, snitching on his brother in a matter of seconds. I knew he was insanely loyal to his family, so why sell him now?

On the whole, the situation was beyond comical. Jimmy was grinning, Clyde seemed set on killing him with a glare, Sadie attached to his arm again asking ‘Is that true, uncle Clyde’ over and over again until he finally mumbled something that sounded like ‘It was a long time ago’. He looked at me like a deer (or a moose) caught in the headlights and I could feel my own cheeks burning. I was in hell.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?” I asked Mellie, who stood next to me, arms crossed and an amused smile playing on her face.

“‘Cause he’s a bit of a coward and you were infatuated with my other brother,” she kindly explained.

“Right.” Made sense. I still felt like something that I should have known about back then— who knows, I might have liked him back—or you know, forever hold your silence type of thing. But knowing this now explained a lot of things.

Now that the petty satisfaction that I had felt for embarrassing him had died down a little bit, I understood why Clyde rejected me and didn’t seem to react to my flirting. If someone I had been crushing on in my teens showed up on day, insulted me or trampled on my insecurities then tried flirting with me I would have been much less gracious in rejecting them than Clyde had been. Yes, it had been more than a decade since highschool, and I was pretty sure his crush on me was dead and buried (like the one I used to have on Jimmy), but it was something that could potentially still hurt after years. So once again I was flooded by guilt.

“Well, it was… uhh… fun meeting you guys, but I have to head back now,” I said, getting ready to bail. Enough embarrassment for a day. Served me right for wanting to get out of the safety of my home. Never again.

“Come on, we’ve just met and you wanna leave already?” Mellie said with a disappointed look on her face.

“It’s not that, I just have some things to do at home,” I tried excusing myself. “Give me your phone number and we can hang out another time,” I said fishing my phone out of my pocket.

“The things will still be there tomorrow, but you’re never getting back today,” Jimmy said with a wink.

“Wow, who knew my brother was a philosopher,” Mellie arched an eyebrow at him. I laughed.

“Please, Miss,” Sadie latched onto my hand, pulling me towards the booths. “Daddy said I’ll get to be your guide today, show you around the fair. Pleaaase.” How could you say no to a kid? Big-eyed, freckled, and more full of life than I’d ever been.

I looked over to Clyde who had returned to a somewhat normal shade, although there was still some pink tinting his cheeks. He still seemed highly uncomfortable about this whole thing, his whole body looking tense. I tried imagining what he felt: a week ago he was living a (supposedly) peaceful life and then Baby was back in town and he’d been insulted, hit on and then embarrassed by his brother in front of his family. If I’d been in his place, I would have faked my death and left the country by now.

“I don’t think I should…” I said, hoping that at least one of the siblings would take the hint and leave it be.

“Nonsense!” Jimmy proclaimed, patting me on the shoulder and nudging me towards Sadie. “Come stay with us a while and I promise you’ll have plenty of time to do whatever you were planning on doing.”

“Are you willing to help out?”

“If that’s what it takes…”

I snorted. “Half an hour then I’m gone,” I said, following them towards the booths. I send Clyde an apologetic look, hopefully he wouldn’t be bothered too much by my presence for the next half an hour. He seemed to have regained his composure and was following us closely.

Sadie was still holding my hand as we were mingling into the crowd of people staring at the attractions. She diligently explained to me what everything was, like it was my first time going to a country fair. It was entertaining to watch. She was a really cute kid and honestly, after so many days of self-imposed isolation, it was nice to interact with people in my free time.

“So, how’s it like being back in your hometown again?” Mellie asked, once Sadie ran over to her dad.

“Nice, peaceful.” Or that’s how it should have been, if I’d been a little smarter. “But it’s gonna take a bit of getting used to. It’s definitely keeping me busy. My roof just started leaking, something I never thought I’d have to experience, but hooray for adult life,” I laughed.

“Did you get it fixed?” she asked, a little concerned.

“No, not yet. Called a couple of contractors, but they didn’t have any opening this month.” I sighed. “I don’t have that many contacts in the area, but I’ll keep looking and hope there won’t be rain anytime soon.”

“That sucks,” she said and turned to her brother. “Hey Jimmy,” she yelled, “do you know anyone who can fix a roof?”

“What happened to it?”

“I don’t know,” I answered, truthfully. “It’s just raining into my living room.”

“I can come take a look when I’m free. If it’s not something big I can fix it for you.” He offered.

“Thanks, but…” Was I stupid enough to refuse? Yes.

“You don’t trust my skills?”

“Oh, I do, but I don’t want you to waste your free time fixing my leaky roof.” It wasn’t just that. I generally preferred to work with people I didn’t know, who were paid to do a job and with who I could argue at the end if the job wasn’t done properly. With friends and family, you just accept what you get, smile and then pay someone else to fix it later. Plus, if they refused payment, you’d have to find a way to make it up to them which meant more complications. And in this particular case I knew I shouldn’t be spending more time with Clyde or his family if I wanted my unrequited crush to die anytime soon. But how do I tell Jimmy that, when he seemed so eager to help?

“It’s no problem. I’ll take a look and if it’s something I can’t do, I’ll put you in touch with some people. When are you free?”

“Not sure, my schedule isn’t fully decided yet.”

“Then give me a call and we’ll see what works for the both of us. Clyde gimme your phone.” That earned him a frown from his brother.

“Why? What happened to your phone?” he said on what I guessed was a rather disapproving tone, but handed him the phone nonetheless.

“It’s broken.”

“He forgot to pay for it,” Sadie explained with a giggle.

“I didn’t forget, I’m not paying it in sign of protests to the shitty plan they forced down my throat,” he muttered. “Anyway, what’s your number?”

He punched in the number and gave me a call. I typed the name Clyde but then changed my mind and saved it as ‘Logan Bros’. Clyde never really wanted my number, so it was just a way for me to get in touch with Jimmy if I needed help. I decided to never call it unless the roof caught fire and I was trapped underneath.

The phone went back to Clyde and I saw him fiddle with it a bit, probably saving the number. I wondered what he saved me as. Probably used my real name, since I’d never heard him call me Baby. Although for some strange reason, I wouldn’t have minded even if he did. No matter how much I hated the nickname, I was sure I’d very much enjoy it if he moaned it in my ear as he pulled me closer to his chest and… stop. Restrain yourself, woman.

Sadie kept her promise and was a very good guide, which meant I was now very well acquainted with everything at the country fair. Jimmy had bought us corn dogs and cheesy fries and donuts and refused to let me pay for anything, so I retaliated by buying everyone snow cones and funnel cake. By the time we reached the shooting galleries, I was so full I was ready to burst.

As Sadie was searching the booths for the toy she wanted I bought a bottle of water, hoping to wash away the nausea caused by all that deep fried food I had shoved down my throat earlier. Seeing that Clyde had fallen behind and we could finally be alone for a bit, I decided to go and talk to him.

“Sorry for crashing your family outing,” I said, standing besides him as we both watched Sadie’s quest to find the best toy. “It wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s alright” he said, briefly glancing at me. “I have to apologize for how my brother acted today. I guess he’s just excited that you’re back in town. He doesn’t have that many friends.”

I had to admit that Jimmy Logan being lonely and not surrounded by hordes of friends was something that I would have never imagined. But I could see it now, after all we were both in the same position: two formerly popular kids that had fallen from grace and were now regular nobodies. Most friendships we made in our teens weren’t the kind that lasted a lifetime.

“I’m actually really enjoying this,” I said, trying to open the water bottle and failing. My hands were still very greasy from all that deep fried food. “But don’t tell anyone or I have a feeling I might get friend-dopted by your family and you’ll never get rid of me,” I said with a wink, to which he smiled. An actual smile. Directed at me.

“Lemme help you with that,” he said, noticing my pathetic attempt at opening the bottle. He held it under his left arm, effortlessly unscrewing the cap.

“I’m completely useless” I mumbled retrieving the bottle, and he chuckled.

In the meantime Sadie seemed to have found what she was looking for and dragged both Clyde and me towards one of the booths. She showed him what he wanted and after paying he was given a shabby airgun. I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone look at a rifle with more contempt in their eyes. I was certain he was used to a different type of guns, especially since he had been in the military.

“Piece of crap,” he mumbled, to no one in particular, disgust clear in his voice.

“Welcome to the glamorous world of carnivals, Mr. Logan,” I laughed.

He shot me a dirty look and aimed. He missed the first two targets, but got the other three. It was still quite impressive, I was sure the only thing I’d be able to hit with any rifle would be my foot, especially since everyone knows the games are rigged and the guns aim screwed on purpose. He paid for another round and I kept my fingers crossed. Sadie had climbed onto her father’s shoulders and was cheering from above.

This time he got the first target with very little effort. And the second one. And the third. By the fourth I was probably as excited as Sadie, although a little less vocal. The fifth target came down just as effortlessly as the others and both Sadie and I cheered loudly. The vendor faked excitement and handed him the toy, making a bit of a spectacle to attract other customers. ‘Look everybody, you can win even with one arm!’ he bragged, and I hated him already, but Clyde didn’t even seem to notice.

“Which one do you want?” he asked Mellie, after giving Sadie her toy.

“One of those,” she said, pointing to a bunch of little plushies that could be hanged on the rearview mirror.

“Alright,” he said, and paid for another round. This time, it seemed like he didn’t even have to aim. He just pointed the rifle and the targets went down one after another, to the vendor’s increased irritation and to my delight.

Clyde gave the toy to his sister who thanked him with a kiss on the cheek, then turned to me. “Which one do you want?”

“Me?” I said, taken by surprise. “You want to get me one too?”

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