#despite knowing what we actually believe
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#still blocked by OP 😂#another former radfem turned trans girldick prioritizer#I don't understand how they can 180#a fringe group of males increasingly straight males telling you actually radfems are Nazis#and you just...hopped on the train#despite knowing what we actually believe
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kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once
im not even joking btw
bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^
#mob psycho 100#mp100#shou suzuki#sho suzuki#reigen arataka#i know sho doesnt actually BELIEVE his dad is back but even just that split second reaction is a weird one to have over your dad coming bac#he was like 'say sike rn... wait that aint right.'#shou watching them on the bottom floor while being isolated up in the corner at the end of the third stage play. and saying#'it's nice that they're so easygoing.' all wistfully???? im killing somebody#reigen calling him a poor thing and worrying about him DESPITE knowing his mischievous ways. ugh#gonna quote my reaction to clip rq#'bro [shou] heard him [reigen] talking about guardianship over children and making sure theyre safe over anything else and was like-#'this is getting too real for me i gotta make fun of him immediately.''#idc WHAT yall think to ME that was such a thick layer of defense mechanism that even though reigen's guardianship speech wasnt directed#at Sho he still felt the intrinsic urge to shoot back because of what hes experienced with people who are SUPPOSED to be protecting him.#would yall believe me if i told you i am totally insane#there are SO MANY THINGS. woven into their interactions that really enhance it#its totally silly! yes! but also! it is a legitimate ARC of GROWTH within their relationship! we watch as Sho starts off#with no trust in the man at all (although for a pretty good reason)#and over time he realizes hes NOT total shitbag#of course this doesnt mean hes completely vulnerable with him. its easy to infer that his distrust in certain people is formed from#a lifetime of being let down and incapability of dependency on certain trusted adults. his defense must be so heavily built up#even after gaining some sort of trust from Shou Reigen will NOT be exempt from his impish defense mechanisms.#sho will not make himself emotionally available as he would then be open to being hurt by someone else he thought could trust#his 'carefree and prankish' behavior is the wall between himself and such an intense feeling of disappointment and hurt and loneliness#but i like to think hes also just silly. hehe#man that stage play huh. shoots every fatal drug directly into my bloodstream#shou's trust and father issues VS stupid conman who has the common sense to not let children be beat up by grown ass adults. who will win.#i mightve forgotten something but. i think this is pretty packed full already so i am pleased. thank you for reading <3#meowmeow art
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So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.
The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.
You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.
And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.
Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".
His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.
But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.
Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.
And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.
I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.
He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.
He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.
He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.
He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.
But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.
I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.
Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.
I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#ketheric thorm#and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him#I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's#work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their#whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them#after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for#granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what?#deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why?#some sense of 'honour'?#I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey!#this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where#it's actually valued. you know. as a treat.#I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very#interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve#but because you are desperate for a purpose#is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little.#again#PERSONALLY
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i love you paul maurice i really do
#we have two cats camp#“we did it we dont have to think about it anymore woo!”#and “well what if we didnt... you know what actually lets stop thinking about that we won so :))”#can you believe both ekky and paul are the anxious bitches of the team#can you believe that paul BULLIES HIM DESPITE THAT#sumn sumn knows one when i see one because i am or however that goes
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and now for something stupid
#but really i also just wanted to play around w this sort of coloring style bc its been FOREVER since ive used it#and i think i can make it look better now#AND i think i can make more sillay stuff like this and not have it take as long w cleaning up lines#anyway now you all understand the terrible dynamic between these three#phobo's infodump text is just copypasted from the wikipedia page for knives.#julliet ALSO uses knives is the thing so hes actually mansplaining < JOKE#he just wants to share. even if it gives her a headache. but he wouldnt mansplain he doesnt have it in him. hes ok with felonies tho#but julis life hasnt known peace since she was told to take care of the newbies#and shes ALSO a newbie (just slightly less so) so really this is probably just tartarus hazing her#theyd take one look at the two disorganized unserious overeager newbies and think ''you know what would be fucking hilarious''#and pass them onto the neurotic slightly-less-newbie who takes everything as seriously as possible. disaster combination.#i cannot stress enough that this is a group of bandits and murderers theyre NOT above hazing.#deimos actually is doing the best job at it since he is stealing as we speak#i mean hes not supposed to do it to his teammates but still. on the right track#as for the dynamic between deimos and phobos themselves its like. theyre just bros. theyre both pretty similar in personality#except deimos is kinda more mean and cynical while phobos can be kinda. dense and naive despite literally where hes at in life#but most of the time theyre basically beavis and butthead#i would also like to stress that juli is not being homophobic she just already cannot stand these guys and cant believe the audacity#but. complete misunderstanding. karma for stealing wallets ig#this will never be cleared up by anyone ever#but again thats not their dynamic they are just beavis and butthead. and i guess that makes juli daria LOL#finn's ocs#finn's art
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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i think what hits most about nobara's backstory is everything that's left unsaid and peaks from between the lines. it's the fact you can easily infer that something was wrong without ever having clear answers on what exactly was wrong. but if you can relate to the feeling of wanting to escape a place and the alienation from everyone around you, especially when you're brought up in small communities, then you can certainly understand, if not fully then partially, nobara herself and the struggles she might have had to face all by herself for a very long time; maybe even the importance fumi and saori had in her life and the pain from having to part from them; and, perhaps the selectiveness in letting people in that she later on develops as well.
#the way her story is told from fumi's point of view is quite interesting#nobara's backstory is like a silent whisper without a lot of obvious context and told from someone else's perspective#someone who until the end never really understood her fully despite their obvious close bond#someone who we weren't even aware was part of her life#and nobara's peak emotional moment and the last person she thinks as her life is in danger is her and the promise she didn't accomplish#a promise to reunite with the friends that shaped her and her life#ah.#i find her last line so... powerful?#she definitely struggled growing up and the only two people she kept in her heart from her life before jujutsu were people that#moved to where she lived. saori didn't even stay in that place for long. and then she moves somewhere new and she meets people#and a group that actually feels like home a community where she fits in and suddenly they kind of break through making place in her heart#just for everything to come to a halt. to turn to shit. for her to see that shatter away little by little. and in the end she's put in a#position where she knows she will not be able to hold on to what she cares for the most. that she will hurt people that truly cared for her#for not being able to go back to fumi and rekindle the friendship with saori and for being forced to be another punch in the guts for yuuji#and everyone else that up until that point were forced to go through losses already and traumatic events#and she decides to encourage yuuji to go on a good note and she truly believes the people she met made it worth it#even if it was for a brief moment in her life#i am not being coherent right now but it pains me :')#she deserved so much better#and i will hang on tightly to the line saying that she had a small chance of survival until the end#because she deserves it she deserves to live 😭#i'm taking her from that stupid anime and putting her in a slice of life anime watch me#yuuji too. and everyone else. i'm taking the kaisen out of the jujutsu and you can't stop me#jjk spoilers#nobara kugisaki#jujutsu kaisen#jjk 💭#my post
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“Dead. He’s dead.”
“No.” The eunuch’s voice seemed deeper. “He is here. Aegon has been shaped for rule since before he could walk. He has been trained in arms, as befits a knight to be, but that was not the end of his education. He reads and writes, he speaks several tongues, he has studied history and law and poetry. A septa has instructed him in the mysteries of the Faith since he was old enough to understand them. He has lived with fisherfolk, worked with his hands, swum in rivers and mended nets and learned to wash his own clothes at need. He can fish and cook and bind up a wound, he knows what it is like to be hungry, to be hunted, to be afraid. Tommen has been taught that kingship is his right. Aegon knows that kingship is his duty, that a king must put his people first, and live and rule for them.”
(ADWD Epilogue)
Varys’ words to Kevan Lannister about Prince Aegon are so interesting because of the overarching insinuation that the boy has had a slew of advisors and teachers who have carefully and extensively prepared him for the task of ruling. His listed examples to that point are rather peculiar, however: a knight to train him in arms, a septa to train him in the faith, and various tutors to train him in history and languages.
Now there’s nothing inherently wrong about Aegon’s educators but one has to ask, what do these people even know about actual ruling? What have they seen about the nature of ruling and the nitty gritty of it? What experience do they have? And if they themselves don’t really know what it means to rule, what does that say of their young prince’s education?
It’s an important question to ask when we consider Aegon’s narrative foil: Jon Snow. Jon does not have the expectation of ruling. In fact, as a bastard, he knows that he can never ever get a lordship let alone a crown/throne. Yet Jon has, unlike Aegon, a crew of experienced tutors who have shown him the nitty gritty of ruling. Every single one of his on-page mentors is either a ruler or a leader of men; in addition to the other tutors he had growing up.
So I wanted to take a look at Jon’s mentors and the positions they have held to contrast their experience (and thus the validity of the lessons that they give Jon) as opposed to the lack of experience in Aegon’s crew.
Ned Stark - Jon’s first and (arguably) most impactful mentor. While teaching Jon important lessons about rulership, he was serving as the Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North; thus making him one of the most powerful men in the entire realm. He then went on to serve as Hand of the King - the most powerful official save for the king. The irony is that Ned didn’t teach Jon as a successor. Robb was the one meant to succeed him. Yet Jon absorbed his lessons all the same.
Benjen Stark - we don’t actually see much on-page mentorship from Benjen, yet he still is one of Jon’s many father figures in the series. He is a a man of the Night’s Watch so he is sworn to hold no lands or titles. Yet as First Ranger, he is undoubtedly one for he highest ranking officials in the Watch and potentially a skilled warrior. He takes on the role of the knight or leader of men among Jon’s teachers.
Tyrion Lannister - despite being an ‘outsider’, Tyrion comes to hold considerable power. He is an exceedingly learned and intelligent man and managed to impart important life lessons during his short time with Jon. He rises to become Hand of the King and later Master of Coin. Though he doesn’t actively teach Jon how to rule, he’s still an important part of Jon’s character development.
Maester Aemon - one of the anomalies in this list. Yet his impact on Jon’s life cannot be understated. He is a teacher to Jon; we have various references to Jon going to Aemon for advice on how to lead. Aemon also gives Jon advice meant for kings: “kill the boy and let the man be born”. What makes Aemon an interesting addition is that he is a would-be king. And an interesting contrast between Jon and Aegon is that both parallel Aegon V; Jon more organically, Aegon rather artificially. If we remember, Aegon V was a hidden prince who ultimately became king. This is the very same trope that Jon and Prince Aegon are following. And it’s interesting that Aemon, Aegon V’s brother, gives advice on governance to Jon; the same advice given to the unlikely king. So it’s Jon who is carrying the torch of kingship from Aegon V, not Young Griff.
Jeor Mormont - one of the most direct mentors in Jon’s arc. Not only is he a surrogate father to Jon, he does what Ned never did: he directly grooms Jon to be his heir. Jon gets to watch Jeor actually govern the NW as his steward but it’s interesting that he shadows the LC through servitude. Though Jon is intended to succeed the Old Bear, he has to humble himself; he has to follow before he can lead. It’s a contrast to Aegon who would hold power over most (if not all) of his tutors.
Donal Noye - the other anomaly save for Maester Aemon. He is a humble Blacksmith. Yet he has been in the service of kings (having served the Baratheon boys who would all end up as kings). He plays an important role in bringing Jon’s ego back to earth and helping him sympathize with those less fortunate than himself. Despite his humble origins, he does briefly take command of the Wall during Mance Rayder’s attack and then transfers that command to Jon, purely because he believed in Jon’s ability to lead (and he was right).
Qhorin Halfhand - another who takes on the role of a skilled master at arms for Jon. He is an undoubtably powerful warrior. But he is also a leader of men. He teaches Jon important lessons on leadership during their time together beyond the Wall - e.g., to lead your men you must first know them. And in true ‘fridged mentor’ fashion, Qhorin dies so the young prince can take over and grow as a leader.
Mance Rayder - the King Beyond the Wall and one of the most important leaders in the books despite spending all his time in the North. Mance’s role as a mentor for Jon is doubly important given that he also takes on the role as a Rhaegar proxy. Despite Jon coming to him as an (undercover) enemy, he’s still able to impart powerful lessons on how to command an army and wrangle support from different factions of men. Jon learns a lot about diplomacy from observing and being under the KBTW. Mance is a skilled warrior, commander, and politician. A charismatic and gifted man - the picture perfect king for Jon to emulate.
Tormund Giantsbane - a leader of the freefolk who rises to become an unlikely ally for Jon. A skilled warrior and proven leader (we know that he took charge of a couple of thousand of freefolk), Tormund becomes important when there’s a transfer of power from Mance to Jon as leader of the freefolk.
Stannis Baratheon - by law, he is the rightful king of the seven kingdoms. According to prophecy, as Melisandre says, he is the promised messiah. Despite a less than ideal personality, he’s still an important part of Jon’s political arc in ADWD. Arguably a man of immense administrative potential, Stannis is also one of the most successful military commanders in the series; which is great for Jon since he also learned from Ned, who ran an undefeated streak as a battle commander.
The total count now comes to: two kings, two Hands of the King, a ruling lord, three warriors, one wise maester (who has counseled a king), and one commander. That quite a resume for Jon. All these men have some experience leading men and commanding armies, however big or small. So Jon’s preparation has been quite thorough.
What a stark contrast between the two boys, then. Varys’ words give us a roadmap of a “perfect ruler” (or as perfect as one can be) yet when we actually take the time to examine what we see in the text, Aegon is not at all suited for that role - Jon is. In fact, not a single character in ASOIAF has had the intensive preparation to rule that Jon has.
It’s beautiful irony. The prince, the one promised to rule, is actually quote underprepared for the task of it. Meanwhile the bastard, who is at best promised a life of servitude, is the one with the most preparation (and experience) for rulership. It’s the way Aegon, as a narrative foil to Jon, acts as one who validates Jon’s journey. There are certain things needed of a ruler. Jon has them, Aegon doesn’t.
Winds isn’t out yet so we don’t yet know for certain where these two boys will end up. But I’m almost sure that young Prince Aegon is doomed and though he may hold the throne for a while, he will not be the king at the end of the story. And it just might be his inexperience that ultimately dooms him. So what does that say for Jon then? Aegon can’t hold the throne as he’s unprepared for it, but what about Jon who is?
#jon snow#aegon vi targaryen#young griff#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#yes I am a Jon will be king at the end of the story believer - that’s the archetype#and so far he’s been following it despite several diversions#he’s the closest character we have to a true to form retelling of King Arthur#Aegon is there to validate Jon’s rise to kingship - he’s not the ruler we should be looking for because Jon is#Aegon is what happens when you make a young boy take on such a terrible task without adequate preparation#he is what happens when your prince in hiding relies almost entirely on blood and his father’s name#which is ironic given varys’ insistence that aegon isn’t entitled - we see that he actually is#Jon is what happens when you actually prepare your king to rule#a prince in hiding who relies on ability and experience - that’s why it’s so important that adwd serves as a training arc for him#and more poignant is the subversion to the trope#unlike most princes in hiding who learn of how special they are quite early in their journeys#jon still knows himself as a bastard - one with no entitlement to anything#Aegon is similar to many fantasy princes because the story starts out with him already knowing who he is#so basically Aragorn#His story has already been written as far as he knows#‘and king Aegon took the throne and ruled wisely for ever and ever’#He knows he’s special and he expects that specialness to carry him to greatness#Jon doesn’t have that so he can only try - try to rule wisely#he can try to rule kindly and equitably#and he’s not perfect - he fails as we see in ADWD - but he tries anyway#remember Aragorn? Perhaps the most famous hidden king in fantasy?#well who do you think answers the question ~what was Aragorns tax policy?~#spoiler alert - it’s not Aegon!#my stuff
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Desperately trying to make sense of Alex's motivations in Season Two and you know, I do eventually have to wonder if maybe Alex wasn't actually lying in the majority of those tapes.
Like, we tend to assume that Alex's motivations have been a consistent throughline since the college years, but do we actually know that that's the case? Do we know for sure that Alex was acting in deliberate, calculated ways in 2006; or could it be that he's telling the Truth on those olds tapes when he says he's blacking out and can't remember what's happening to anyone? After all, if we're assuming that Season 2 Alex's motivations are the exact same as his motives in Season 3, then it doesn't make any sense at all that he spend months working with Jay to try to find Amy; Season 3 Alex would have attempted to kill Jay like, on sight just to get things over with as quickly as possible and contain the spread of contamination as best as he could.
But, maybe, if Alex really had been separated from Amy after the events of the 04-04-10 tape, and if he really doesn't know where she is, then maybe that could make things start to make more sense. Maybe he really had been watching Jay's channel, and seeing Jay start going through the same things he went through in college without things devolving into violence and disappearances, and wondered if things maybe could play out differently this time. Maybe he really did send that tape to Jay to ask him for help, maybe he really was just trying to find Amy.
But then, instead of actually being helpful, Jay makes it extremely clear that he's a lot more interested in stalking Alex than he is in finding Amy. Alex asked for help, and instead there's a bunch of masked dudes on Jay's heels that keep attacking him, Jay is breaking into his house, stealing his things, leading the Operator right to him all over again, keeps trying to get other people (namely: Jessica -- if Alex is being honest when he says that his call reassuring her that Amy had been found was an effort to make Sure she stayed away from everything that was happening) involved; and instead of anything getting better, instead of anyone finding Amy, things are just getting worse all over again.
It's not until after the incident at the tunnel that things seem to start rapidly devolving. Rather than a calculated attempt to finally follow through with his need to curb the spread of contamination, this is very clearly an outburst of rage and terror. Alex's "I told you not to follow me" line in conjunction with Jay speculating that Alex didn't know who that guy was, to me, pretty firmly seems to speak to Alex having mistaken that stranger for Jay. From his point of view, Alex knows that Jay and totheark know where he live, have broken in before, he suspects that Jay stole a key to make it easier to get into his house, and he's been followed on the daily for months -- Alex is sitting at the tunnel because he doesn't know where else he can go without being constantly surveilled, hunted, and assaulted. And instead of getting a moment by himself to breathe, Jay followed him out there all over again (it feels like Alex looks directly at the camera in Jay's footage of him from this day; he knew for a fact that Jay was there), and then to make matters worse now 'Jay' won't even keep his distance anymore.
So Alex lashes out. And it's not until afterwards that he looks down and finally recognizes that this wasn't Jay -- it was someone completely innocent. Things have finally reached the low point he was at in college all over again; maybe even worse this time. If Alex doesn't remember attacking anyone in college, but he was at least partially conscious of it this time, then things have reached an entirely new rock bottom, they've reached an absolute point of no return.
He has no idea what happened to Amy, and he's spent months trying to find her with no hint of where she could be; he doesn't know where Jay actually is or what additional trouble he could be causing at this point; he does know that now innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire (in regards to the stranger in the tunnel, and also Jessica now that Jay has her phone number, and the untold number of people Jay got involved when he started posting videos to the Marble Hornets channel); things are spiraling out of control and there's no one left to ask for help. The situation isn't getting better, it's getting worse; things aren't getting easier to handle, they're just getting more out of hand; the negative impact is spreading and who knows how much further it can still go?
So, Alex decides to go scorched earth. He disfigures the body with the rock either to hide evidence or to make sure the guy would actually stay dead and not just get back up to start his own cycle of contamination in a few years. He tries to give Jay one last chance to back off, and Jay instead admits he's been talking to Jessica, acts obstinate and lies about not having Alex's spare key, and then breaks into Alex's house a second time (minimum). If Alex doesn't stop him now, who will? Alex met with Jay planning to kill the others, and then himself, so he could put a stop to this once and for all and keep things from getting any worse than they already were.
Maybe it makes a lot more sense if, rather than being a strangely incomprehensible detour on what should have been a straight path, the events of Season Two were the breaking point that put Alex on that path to begin with.
#N posts stuff#idk!!! I've been thinking a lot lately about the tendency to take Characters at Face Value; when they tell us things we tend to#automatically believe them despite what evidence we might have to the contrary. & like when it comes to deciphering what#went down during the college film project it's mostly totheark that posits that Alex was Definitely Lying and Definitely Acting on Purpose#(even Jay is largely ambivalent - wondering which way it leans and basically saying it could go either way)#but. do we KNOW that they know that? Do we Know that they're Right when they claim that? Or are they just Assuming based off#of their own rage and animosity towards Alex due to what happened? Do we Know for Sure that Alex Was Lying in s1?#i don't know if we do!! And so without Knowing that for sure; how can we speak to Alex's motivations in season one OR season two?#now TO BE CLEAR: I am not saying this in an attempt to claim that Alex is somehow completely innocent of all guilt and that like.#Jay is the 'Real Antagonist' of the series - not at all my intention. this is just More of my usual 'look. Everyone in this series is#all kinds of Morally Grey; no recurring character in this series is free of guilt they ALL have unique fatal flaws & trends towards#antagonism that makes things worse and dooms them all' shtick - a la 'everyone Thinks they're doing the Right Thing but No One Is'#BUT i Am wondering if this Does help to like. clear up some of the ambiguity/uncertainty of Season Two - and even Season One - and#lets the series as a whole read a little bit clearer? idk i know that Jay does Claim to think that Alex was bullshitting him#the whole time & was Actually planning on tying up loose ends the whole time but AGAIN it doesn't make Sense he'd wait so long#idk - Am i making sense? does any of this track? i'm trying to figure it out; i am open to comments on the subject to help#i haven't rewatched season 3 yet today and so maybe there's stuff in there that contradicts this whole theory lmao but i'm taking a break#and just posting this anyway; we'll see what happens lol#marble hornets#mh lb
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"Hannes Kleineke cites Dean and Canons of Windsor MS XI.B.6, rot. 2, for evidence of a deathbed codicil by Edward IV concerning a dispute between the knights and canons of Windsor"
remember when I said that we don't know what Edward IV's deathbed codicils were as they haven't survived? that there is no reason to automatically assume they were relevant to his son's minority? that it's entirely possible that they weren't very important at all considering how dismissively Croyland spoke of them ("some codicils thereto", with no emphasis or elaboration whatsoever)? I LOVE being proven right <3
#edward iv#my post#to be clear it didn't actually matter what Edward wrote in his will as there were no legal or social requirements for it to be followed#this is mostly for the sake of the argument and also because it's a new piece of information I didn't know about before !#and also because that makes it all the more suspicious that Mancini claimed Richard was supposedly#'entitled [to the position of Protector] by law and his brother’s ordinance' when that is...absolutely not true#We don't know what Edward wanted in his will but even if he appointed Richard protector neither his queen nor his council were#in any obligation to give Richard the position. And there was certainly no law in England that stated that there HAD to be a protector#during a minority. The position was literally invented a mere generation earlier as a consolation price for Humphrey Duke of Gloucester.#Richard was not 'entitled' to anything#So it's incredibly suspect that Mancini - a foreigner who was mostly ignorant of English affairs - would claim such a thing#Combined with the fact that Croyland makes no mention of Edward appointing Richard Protector when talking about his death;#his last will or the council meeting afterwards#And the fact that John Russell's speech to Parliament aiming to reinforce Richard's Protectorship never once claims that the former King#wanted him to have the position despite giving a variety of other fanciful justifications for the same#I do tend to agree more-so with Rosemary Horrox who believes that Edward IV wanted his son to succeed him and be crowned immediately#(which is what *everyone* present in the council wanted as well)#and that the story of a thwarted protectorate was Ricardian propaganda aimed at vilifying Elizabeth Woodville#painting himself as the victim and her as the ambitious duplicitous aggressor#even if Edward HAD appointed Richard to the position the story of a denied protectorate would still be propagandic#because again: he was not entitled to the position.#even IF the council & EW decided against Edward IV's wishes and wanted to crown Edward V immediately they weren't doing anything wrong#The fact that the Woodvilles were framed as opportunistic and aggressive and out for themselves can only have been a Ricardian vilification#also Edward V himself wanted to be crowned immediately: we have a letter written by him where he specified he would have a coronation soon#but anyway (I have spent too long talking about this in the linked post I'm not going to repeat the same things here)#I do love that we have new evidence!!!! and that we know what one of Edward's codicils were!#I wish we knew the remaining :(
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[just venting a bit into the void you understand you understand 😌] Lately I've been feeling very caught between "I have a lot of thoughts on Sparrow and Normal and all that with the ending and teen talk and feel like I need to get them out and voice them for my own piece of mind and resolution" and "I am lacking the strength and energy to actually sit down and write it all out and kind of really just want to fully move on to other things (AUs, fics, anything else)" but my brain can't seem to commit to either and that's quite frustrating cause it's just left me very restless. *Sigh*. Idk! Just needed to complain about that a bit ig, it's silly but this is what has been ailing me as of late.
#Then there's also a part of me that's like “does anyone even care at this point? haven't I already talked about them too much?”#but I have seen many a take that irk me...#and perhaps at the center of it all nagging at me is that persistent conflation of love and pride#Less about that in Normal's mind so much as in Will's and the fandom's 🤔#Also that reoccurring issue of the fandom going ''Normal thinks this therefore it is The Truth'' though I believe I've discussed this befor#And... Hooks Will could have grabbed onto but didn't... Quite a few of those...#And the double standard/negativity bias in fandom of ignoring that Sparrow says both that he loves and likes Normal while doodlerized#But not treating those with the same legitimacy we do the pride thing. And ignoring Sparrow's demonstrations of love and change...#And what the love wolf scene actually implies about Sparrow (as I see it) with his own explanation of the pride thing in mind#But also!!! Also on Norm's epilogue and how despite everything taken at face value (i.e. no teen talk influence) I don't actually hate it#and I think it's plenty salvageable#And gah also that like *regardless* of how things turn out with Normal and his dad-#Well I haven't listened to much of the teen talk just the directly Sparrow-relevant clips#so I don't know quite how cynical Will is or isn't about Normal's future#But like. UGH. What I'm trying to say is even if things didn't find resolution vis-a-vis his dad#(which tbh I could go either way on- it's the meta misinterpretations of Sparrow that Bother me not so much Normal's)#(Well that's complicated. Again it comes back to the love vs. pride thing gosh this is so vague of me lol)#With all the positive influences in his life (and just the fact that life is long? and therapy is a thing?) I just don't see Normal-#being Miserable for the rest of his life. Like. I mean I won't elaborate here really but damn it no he can absolutely turn out alright stil#blugh#BUT YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THAT'S A LOT OF STUFF AND THAT'S ONLY VAGUE RAMBLINGS ABOUT *SOME* OF IT#Like I'm proud of a lot of my essay posts (which I'm hoping to eventually compile in a masterpost eventually actually) but they take a whil#And if my heart wants to do other things... Ah idk...#ANYWAYS a vent to vent a vent to vent
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the 'I knew him first' vs 'I knew him fully' & all the ensuing gratifications and absences that mark the Xianle trio's understanding of Xie Lian opposed to Hua Cheng's. THAT is devastation baby!!!
#i loved him despite vs i loved him because LIKEEEEEEEEEEEEE a devotion always at your back door waiting to be let in#opposed to the supposedly conditional devotion on your doorstep#one must shrink so the other can rise & neither can coexist because they exist in complete opposition#and this is SUCHHHHHHHHHHH a long way of me saying that hua cheng and feng xin will always be xie lian's#biggest supporters & the reason feng xin is included in that is because of how xia lian knows him & knows what devotion#is to him & how it is expressed & that age & affiliation are tags that pull you apart as much as they string you together#AND I LOVED YOU FOR WHAT YOU WERE FOR WHAT YOU ARE EVEN WHEN I COULDNT SEE IT BECAUSE I WAS BLIND BUT I WANT TO COME BACK BECAUSE#I NEVER TRULY STOPPED BELIEVING AND LOVING YOU EVEN IF I DID IT WRONG#anywayYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY can u tell. can u tell how ucking. much the xianle trio's relationship to each other means to me#esp in light of hua cheng's unwavering devotion when its like. as much as we would like that to be a permenant reality---thats actually the#outlier behavior here lmaoooooooooo your love will forever be overshadowed because of a SUPERPOWER LOVE NO ONE KNEW COULD EXIST UNTIL IT DI#& also hes a devestation so like. watch out haha#tgcf#heaven official's blessing
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see this is the kind of shit that i absolutely hate, because her love life (or lack of it) is absolutely none of our fucking business. y'all really think that taylor needs to be in a relationship to be successful?? it's like the minute there's breakup rumours (which still haven't been confirmed btw and we all know what happened in 2016 when people believed rumours about her) people are jumping and falling over themselves to pair her up with someone. like just leave. her. alone. she's on a really successful tour rn and all that i see in the news section on taylor is "rumours about joe cheating on taylor" "lead singer of the 1975 reportedly in a relationship with taylor swift" "breakup was announced on april this and this date, was this a gift for so and so person?" like these articles are trying SO HARD to make blank space a reality and it shows😭😭
like i'm just sick and tired of people trying to pry into her personal life, which she has REPEATEDLY said she doesn't want to talk about. taylor has made it very clear SEVERAL TIMES that she's a private person (as she should) and we should be celebrating the massive fucking succes that the eras tour is instead of believing in rumours, regardless of whether or not they might eventually turn out to be true. if she even is in a relationship, she'll tell us on her own time.
#i also see gaylors being like “oh i knew all along that joe was just a front for her and karlie and karlie is actually pregnant”#“and the breakup rumours were actually a gift for her that taylor herself spread”#like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK#IS WRONG WITH YOU#this is a real fucking person#and not some fictional character in a book or movie#like it's one thing to have theories for songs and music videos#but it's completely different to believe something “a source close to taylor swift” said#and then proceed to just#become unhinged and make up even more rumours about someone we don't really know??? despite what we may think???#taylor swift#the eras tour#joe alwyn#im only tagging him so this reaches a wider audience maybe 😭😭
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Talking to [leftist/socialist/progressive/whatever] white people as a brown girl is always an experience
#🐈⬛⚜️#A couple weeks back I was stopped by these uni students who were promoting a convention and advocating for Palestine#I was really sad and tired then so I was like sure. let's chat#I signed a petition and began talking to these 2 girls#One was a white girl. the other wasn't. could not pinpoint her background though#Anyways. we talked about the state of the world and Palestine and how the US and by extension the Western World has failed them#(which is a topic of its own because the Western World did not 'fail Palestine' they literally wanted this annihilation to happen#and have been an active participant in it)#And I pointed how ultra rich Arab countries have completely turned a blind eye to it but poorer countries such as Yemen. Lebanon have#been doing so much. despite their own vulnerable position#And this girl said but they're still not doing enough. they could lend military help#I was just disappointed because it doesn't take more than 15 seconds to realise why a regional war is not the solution#By virtue of wanting justice. I would want the IOF to be blown up too but that's not the solution#simply because the casualties will be the civilians of all of these countries and we cannot put millions of people at risk#And she kept telling me about how they're a socialist group. and she was also kind of taken aback by how much thoughts I had about this?#They're having a convention on Socialism and co (social issues. Marxism and all that jazz) next month and that I should consider cominv#Then she hit me with 'The entry is only $90' and there's a student bundle where you can get a book and a tote bag#Honestly funny as shit#And she kept insisting I should buy the book. it was 'Introduction to Marxism' I believe#I did not know how to tell her that I did not want to read that. and even if I did I would just pirate the Communist Manifesto#Anyways. interesting experience and it did make me focus back on how different Brown Leftists and white leftists are#I like to give them grace because it's hard to know context and history and social rules about somewhere you haven't lived or grown up#But I do believe if you're advocating for another group of people. you need to learn and understand first and foremost#I actually don't know what to make of that whole interaction tbh
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date back on for sunday now. His friend is okay. thank god. And uhhh, yea now we're finally be fr about the "hey we met on a dating, lets be so fr about what our experience has been" uncharted territory besties. we're not at "so what are you looking for?" but i already essentially told him my approach is to just really try getting to know ppl i find interesting and letting a spark develop from there w/o pressure. kinda like in school where you consistently see people in casual settings. and he thought it was a good plan so uh. here we are.
#basically he's had no luck and only like 2 matches (excluding me i believe) and all those people just never responded to him#which must be so funny bc now theres like. me. where i have seen his id. know his govt name. address. dob. and vitals. like. crazy.#and he's seen mine too ofc. equality. and uh. sounds like he's never dated. never had any bug feelings for anyone despite wanting to fall i#love so bad. which is... interesting. i feel like he has liked ppl and not recognized that it's a crush. nit just wanting to be friends but#imma hold off on sharing that until further developments.#i basically told him that I've had a very different experience. not to like brag but like most women will have better luck on apps (also hi#profile kinda sucks. all 4 photos look like a different person. his like actual answers to prompts aren't bad. they're good. thats what mad#me think 'oh i think i could rlly get along w/ this dude' but he'd attract a very niche type of woman)#which i also. didn't fully say. bc time and place. it'll come up but not right now. but yea so i told him that like. ive gotten many matche#but a lotttt of it is super low quality. lot of wasted time. so like. yea. we all have a bad time on dating apps till someone sticks and we#dont. we basically have both admitted to having idealized people in the past and getting the ick irl. and yea. building some good common#ground. ive always wanted to ask to ppl ive gone out w/ what their experience looks like but i feel like thats not smth to talk abt till#later on and I've never wanted anything past a 2nd date before so. yea.#although my first date did tell me but she was poly and like much more open to talking abt that than most monogamous ppl would be
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Well, I’m still glad that Gojo was always a character who was growing and learning at least. He’s literally one of my favorite characters of all time now. Like, he’s never been as perfect as how the fans would make him out to be despite canonically being viewed as an absolute nuisance to everyone around him (I don’t think his peers necessarily hate him but a lot of them probably hate to see him coming and the ones who’ve dealt with him long enough to consider him a friend, tolerate him and groan whenever he opens his mouth, too 😭… out of love. He’s extremely childish so there is only sm the other adults around him can take and to an extent, his students. I think the only characters in canon who adore him and their eye’s sparkle whenever he’s around, and being a silly teacher was Yuuji and Miwa (she asked him for his autograph (he’s the most famous sorcerer in the jjk world) and when she was alone, she did a little dance in the empty hallway 🥺…) from what we’ve seen even though the others still care about him, too. They just find him rather annoying, which he most definitely is. And he does it on purpose. He plays too much.)
#I’m also not usually one to get annoyed whenever ppl shit on the things I like#like I’m an adult sorry idc 😵💫#but it’s always annoying seeing ppl who know nothing about the story complaining about it#even just as recently with the Gojo being racist shit 😭..#like he’s a really great character despite all of that and even though Gege’s#execution of that could’ve been better or didn’t need to happen at all#because idk what gege was doing even though I do strongly believe that he used a moment like this to showcase Gojo’s ignorance and#that how he’s also human and makes mistakes since if you’re familiar with the series Gojo isn’t really treated like person at all#more like a deity and he doesn’t like that#but he’s never been one to voice his personal feelings and talk about his trauma ever#he gets treated like a god and because of this he’s never felt like he could truly connect with other people#so that’s why he puts on that whole act of being overly friendly/ playing with others and even rude to shut others out because of his#aversion to opening his traumatized self To other ppl like he’s so cool#and when he’s friendly he gives the others just enough of his affection so that he wouldn’t be worried about and not have others pry#but he’s incredibly flawed as well#I feel like gege could’ve showed Gojo being ‘humbled’ some other kind of way over the racism tho 😭. But it’s fine lmfao#I’m still so grateful that he had Gojo actually apologize instead of waving Miguel off like he didn’t matter because like I’ve said before#he literally never apologizes (this is probably the first time that I’ve ever seen gojo apologize to anyone in canon I’m so serious 🗿)#that’s literally not part of him#like he feels regret but he never apologies or shows that he actually cares about what others are expressing to him when they’re upset with#him. like this is crazy. but it shows that he did care about the mistake that he made which I appreciate…. like idk how I would’ve felt#about his character if he showed that he could care less when hurting someone like this🗿…..#I adore him so much sorry sorry for taking about anime I’m just 😭…. ❤️❤️❤️#rambling#I’m glad that everyone is fucking with Miguel now because he is a really interesting character even though we haven’t seen much of him#he’s one of the few ppl who Gojo trusted enough to look after someone who he cared about despite the horrors#because he knew that Miguel would protect yuuta and do right by him#it’s very 😭❤️…
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