#despite having actually watched him onscreen like twice

[moon-swag-tourney]

Propaganda below!

Sirius Gibson

(witch's heart spoilers)

has lived in a mansion completely alone for the past 12 years. watched his parents die. has major mommy issues. constantly has to fend off people trying to break in with messages written in fake blood. watched his adoptive mother die too. was apart of a time loop. didn't believe demons really exist despite working to make magic sigils to ward them off. probably gay for his (not canonically) transgender blonde best friend. dies in every route except 2. theres 7 routes. such a cringefail loser coward canonically that he has to call for his sister to beat up demons for him because he's too scared. smacked the shit out of another character twice for calling his adoptive mom a witch. refers to his adoptive mom with the honorific "lady" to honor her and it always is like:

sirius' mom "lady" dorothy: "you don't have to do that you know? you can just call me mom ^_^;"

sirius: "but lady dorothy, i have to honor you!! you saved my life"

eventually lady dorothy just gave up on trying to stop him and he still does it 12 years after her death. btw he doesnt believe shes actually dead and keeps the mansion clean because it's "the place she'll return to". all of the humanoid demons in the cast collectively agree that lady dorothy is dead and one of them onscreen was like "yea i don't know what's up with him. lady dorothy died i think this is just a coping mechanism for him".

Ursula Callistis / Shining Chariot

Moon destroyer ridden by guilt

[marimosalad]

8 TV shows can say a lot about a person!

Certainly for me, I think! I’m listing here many of my personal recs which (as this is a Haladriel blog) I will be talking about them in relation to Haladriel, if applicable.

Thanks for the tag @pursuitseternal 🌟

Without further ado:

———

1. Needless to say, The Rings of Power.

I’m a total sucker for Hot Bad Men™️ so I never stood a chance against Saubrand.

Blorbo aside, my attachment to this show far preceded my Saurondriel obsession — I was completely enamored with it since Episode 1, the first big scenic shot of Valinor; the Two Trees; the epic soundtrack; stunning costumes. I had tears in my eyes during the boat sailing into the light of Valinor. The scale of storytelling far exceeded my admittedly meager expectations.

Let me be clear: I did not want to like this show and was set on dismissing it as an inferior fan service following The Hobbit franchise. Next thing I knew my inner child had been awakened and my love for Tolkien universe rekindled. Add to this concoction my weakness for complex villains and the epic reveal of Hot Sauron — boom, I was done. I’ll never recover from this.

2. FRINGE.

This show has such a special place in my heart. It’s sci-fi, mystery, time travel, alternate timelines, quantum physics mumbo jumbo, love story, and a father/son story all rolled into one amazing series that ended abruptly and went under the radar for so long.

In this universe, Denethor II has reincarnated into a much more gentle, sweeter Dr. Walter Bishop who actually loves his son and will put his life at risk for his son over, and over, and over again.

I also have an undying admiration for Anna Torv’s Olivia Dunham (I’m planning a separate post of all my fictional female crushes over the years). I was so giddy to see her in The Last of Us — she’s an underrated actress who deserves to be in the spotlight.

3. LOST.

Probably the first TV show that I actually got seriously invested in as a young adult and since then I’ve watched it so many times in every phase of my life. I’ve named our new puppy after Penelope Widmore. My computer name is Not-Pennys-Boat. I’ve been thirsting after stranded-at-sea disheveled ruffians since Sawyer, who is my favorite character who was the antagonist at the beginning (I’ve been saying that Halbrand is the perfect mix of Sawyer and Aragorn).

Sawyer/Juliet is my absolute favorite onscreen couple, pre-Haladriel. Their chemistry is fire. They just work. (Hated him with Kate.) Just tell me this doesn’t scream Haladriel (aesthetically):

Bonus: scene look familiar? Desmond did it first 🔥

4. Outlander.

Ok, believe it or not, I wasn’t quite watching this for the copious amount of steamy sex just because I was watching with my husband AND my mom over the pandemic when we lived together, and needless to say it was quite awkward 😂 I have a particular inexplicable love for Scotland (despite having only gone there twice), so when I discovered the series I went head over heels in love with the landscape, costumes, historic details, music (Bear McCreary), mythology, etc. Oh, and the hot Scotsman too 🫠

Jamie and Claire are the epitome of cosmically connected soulmates, their love transcending across lifetimes. Their early sex scenes are 🔥🔥🔥.

Bonus fact: Sam Heughan was named after Samwise Gamgee by his Tolkien hippie parents. He’s been casually broadcasting that he wants a role in TROP. Could we help him? If enough of us use the tag #SamHeughanForCeleborn, will they give Galadriel the husband she deserves?

5. DARK.

Did I mention I’m a big fan of quantum physics, philosophy, time travel, and parallel universes? No? Well, this brooding German show just about represents everything I love. The perfectly planned 3-season show is everything you could ever hope for in a good TV series. It’s moody, intelligent, mind-bending, and heart-wrenching. Watch the first episode, and by the end of it, you’ll be hooked, I promise you. Oh and for the love of god, do not watch it dubbed.

6. Norsemen.

Ok, I don’t typically watch too much comedy. But I do like The Office. I also like medieval movies/shows. What if I said Norsemen was basically a medieval version of The Office? Oh, it’s so dumb. It’s so dumb I almost didn’t finish the first episode. But once you get in the groove, it’s hilarious as fuck. On Netflix.

7. True Detective.

I don’t know how many times I’ve rewatched this show — it’s my comfort show I watch by myself on my laptop on rainy evenings. I don’t know what that says about me, and I don’t want to know 😂

Aside from the intrigue of the creepy Southern Gothic and unsettling cult themes, I mainly attribute my obsession with the show to Matthew McConaughey’s brooding Rust Cohle. He’s tall and lanky, a total weirdo, a lone wolf, has commitment issues, single-minded about his job, and (a bit more than) slightly unhinged. Also known as my kind of dude.

8. Better Call Saul.

Greatest of all spin-offs, who knew that the show about the sleazy lawyer who represented the world’s greatest meth kingpin was actually a love story in disguise?

Bob Odenkirk and Rhea Seehorn as Jimmy and Kim are the perfect embodiment of a modern couple who are equals and opposites, bring out each other’s best and worst, and have an undying respect for one another which serves as the backbone for their relationship. They even take turns towing on opposite sides of the law, pushing and pulling each other’s inclinations towards Good & Bad, only to find each other drowning in the dense grey area that is all too real. They are the *could have beens* for Galadriel and Sauron in the best case scenario (I could go on with the similarities but I don’t want to spoil the show).

Bonus fact: Gennifer Hutchison was the writer for both BCS and TROP. This fact should speak volumes about the kinds of discussions that would have occurred in the writer’s room regarding the nature of Galadriel and Sauron’s relationship. Watch the show and you’ll understand.

I’ve got many more recommended shows, but I think these 8 have been my primary emotional support shows over the past few years. I debated including Raised By Wolves, but as it was prematurely canceled there isn’t a whole lot I could say about it, despite having a fantastic premise (and which I still recommend people watch).

No pressure tags (but also curious to know): @starlady66 @maironiiel @demonscantgothere @scriberated @wyrd-syster @formerlyir @nenyabusiness @thegreatzombieartisan and any others who want to join.

[gen-is-gone]

listen guys it’s 2 in the morning again bc i have no job again and i’ve got a podcast episode to record tomorrow and a job i don’t want to apply for this week and fuck, i’m about to fucking cry over fucking supernatural, and destiel. I found a speedrun of relevant dean/cas episodes about a week and a half ago and on a whim decided to sort of catch up before the last episode and. fuck. i’ve consumed like sixty episodes straight, jumping from place to place with next to no context. i have stayed up til five in the goddamn morning, twice, watching this show. i have watched more supernatural in the last 15 hours than i’d watched in its whole 15 years, and guys. FUCK.

Supernatural has been on the periphery of my fandom experience for as long as I’ve been in fandom. It premiered in the autumn of ‘05 and I discovered fanfiction.net in the summer of ‘06. I heard of it for the first time reading a crossover with Pirates of the Caribbean of all things later that year. I read multiple Criminal Minds crossovers where the FBI tracks the Winchesters on LiveJournal a few years later. I remember a fanartist I liked for Artemis Fowl writing long essays on Deviantart about her ambivalence towards Castiel, and her annoyance at wincest shippers jumping ship to dean/castiel (this was before the portmanteau shipname vogue). I remember spn from years before it hit tumblr and the floodgates opened wide, long before it became one of the three sacred pillars of fandom from ‘11 to ‘13. Fuck, I remember learning about a/b/o from an Inception kink meme that had to link to a Fanlore page for Supernatural to explain what the requester wanted.

I remember all of this from a fandom I was never really a part of, and I say this not to assert some sort of moral or intellectual superiority but just because at the time it never spoke to me. I’ve know plenty of people who adored spn, who wrote fic, made art, compiled the gifsets its fandom became legendary for, and having finally, finally, here at the end of all things actually watched it, (well, some small salient portion of it) I just wanna say:

Fuck, I am so proud of this fandom. You have done incredible, legendary things. You have made art, drawings, paintings, photoedits, gifsets, cosplay. You have written millions, billions of words of fanfiction and essays and passionate reactions. You have created infrastructure and culture and were an integral part of fandom’s migration from web 1.0 to 2.0, from the ‘journals to tumblr and twitter (for better and for worse). You created one of the first spontaneous crossover fandoms in history. You made history. You inspired paradigm-shifting debate about everything from misogyny in horror tropes to the pitfalls of parasocial relationships. You challenged what we could expect from creators in terms of representation and respect. You demanded better than queerbaiting and denial, and yet persisted in spite of it, for fifteen years.

Listen, I don’t know if this show deserves you, though I suspect it does not. And yes, this fandom, like all fandoms, has had a host of drama ranging from the silly to the horrific, and I won’t pretend it hasn’t. But every megafandom has those troubles; you genuinely were not somehow the worst fandom ever, (far from it) and this post is not about that. This is about how utterly, profoundly inspiring this fandom has been, in its fervor, in its dedication, in its absolute joy that fucking frankly, too many people have tried for too damn long to crush. Here’s to all of you, refusing to back down and bearing mocking and hate from the cringe culture crowd and the creators alike. Here’s to those who’ve been in this ride since the bush administration, and here’s to those who jumped on right here at the very end, like I did. I’m glad to have known this fandom, long before I knew this show.

I’m proud of you, and you all should be proud of yourselves. So no matter how this final episode goes down, no matter how exalting, joyful, and satisfying, or how bitterly disappointing, please, please. Be proud of yourselves. This fandom is a part of history, a seismic event, an indelible mark on the geologic record of fandom and the internet. You have done incredible things. You have inspired me, and I’ve barely seen Supernatural. Imagine, and remember, all the ways you’ve inspired each other. I’m glad to have lived and been in fandom during its reign.

(I’m actually tearing up a little as I write this, which could just be from allergies and sleep deprivation, but let’s be real, it’s not the allergies and sleep deprivation.)

Thank you, Supernatural fandom. Carry on.

[sugawarassoulmate]

loving the way you wanna talk

kita's gone too far this time—calling you after hours and invading the comfort of your home. even when the two of you fuck it’s never at the other’s house. often making do with an empty classroom, a bathroom at some shady bar, or going at it in the backseat of a car. but you’re much too annoyed to jump his bones at the moment. all you wanted to do was watch your stupid movie.

“what're ya watchin'?” he asks, you could hear the smirk on his stupid face.

“you don't care,” you bite back.

“humor me.”

pairing: enemies to lovers!kita x reader

words: 2k

cw: fem!reader, (hate) phone sex, mutual masturbation, insults, name-calling, kita calls reader a bitch, idiots in lust, horror movies, minors dni

disclaimer: on this blog, we discuss and explore toxic relationships/situations/just because i write about these themes does not mean i condone/support these types of relationships nor do i do them in my own personal life.

these are fictional characters in fictional scenarios and nobody should be taking real-life advice or mirror the actions of the characters in these stories!

“Why did you call me, Shin? I’m trying to watch a movie,” you could spend hours bickering with Kita, in fact, you already did that today—the two of you going back and forth about you apparently not inflating the volleyballs enough for practice. 

He says it needs to follow “regulation standards” and that practicing with a deflated ball is harder. You told him not to explain your job to him but he talks with that annoying calm voice of his that pisses you off.

“Did ya actually take time to make sure they were properly inflated?” the soft, dulcet tones of his voice hit your ears like nails on a chalkboard. You thought about chucking one of them at his head to see if they were inflated enough but that would only land you in hot water with the coach.

As much as it pained you to drop the argument despite knowing you were in the right, you brushed Kita off for rest of the day. Some might call that character development.

But he’s gone too far this time—calling you after hours and invading the comfort of your home. Even when the two of you fuck it’s never at the other’s house. Often making do with an empty classroom, a bathroom at some shady bar, or going at it in the backseat of a car. But you’re much too annoyed to jump Kita’s bones at the moment. All you wanted to do was watch your stupid movie.

“What're ya watchin'?” he asks, you could hear the smirk on his stupid face.

“You don't care,” you bite back.

“Humor me.”

It would be so easy to hang up on him right now, but a part of you enjoys the back and forth. So you take the time to explain to him the dumb plot of the 80s horror movie you threw on. A bunch of campers making bad decisions and getting picked off one by one while a mysterious killer is on the loose. “And now I’m missing totally realistic sex scene between the bimbo cheerleader and the jock,” you mused, cringing at the pseudo-pornographic moans coming from the big-breasted blonde onscreen.

“Ew, I don’t sound like that, right?” 

Kita chuckles on the other line. “No, yer much more annoyin’. Right when yer about to cum, yer voice gets all shrill.” He must be able to tell that you’re grimacing right now with the smug tone in his words. “Why do you think I’m always coverin’ yer mouth?” 

He’s full of shit and both of you know it. Kita only shoves his fingers in your mouth when it’s a risky situation—like last week when he made you cum twice on a bench in the locker room while some of his teammates were still on the court. “Yer always so noisy,” he said as you sucked on his fingers.

But this is the same man who wants to hear you beg every time he’s inside you. Who won’t let you cum until you ask for it so sweetly and lives for your cries as you cream around his cock. “Describe what’s happenin’,” he says without asking.

“You must be really bored,” you groan, but do what he says. It’s your typical, cringeworthy sex scene with two characters that have zero chemistry. Dumb Bimbo Girl and Stupid Jock get drunk and stumble away from the other characters, totally ignoring the killer on the loose to get busy in the back of a van. “Never got why people always have sex in horror movies, is the dick ever really worth it?”

You don’t get an answer from Kita, not even a smartass remark. Without a response, you continue, describing to him the scene where the killer obviously comes out of nowhere to slash the two horny teens. You offer your own commentary and complain about how obvious the jumpscares are and the clearly low budget of the film. 

But after a few more minutes, you realized that Kita hasn’t said anything in a while and now you’re annoyed. “Did you hang up, Shin? I’m talking to you.” He coughs on the other side as if he’s been caught off guard or something. “You’re the one that called and you’re gonna disappear on me? Rude as fuck if you ask me—”

“Yer so fuckin’ annoyin’. Hate ya so fuckin’ much,” He breathes, voice in your ear. You recognize that tone and it makes you squeeze your thighs together. There’s no way…he would never.

“Shin…why did you call me?” you ask timidly, a manner of speaking you never use with him.

Kita makes a disgruntled noise. “Every fuckin’ day ya piss me off with gratin’ voice of yers and the one time I wanna hear it, yer askin’ me these dumb questions.” He’s growling at you with pent-up anger like he’s been holding it in the entire time. “I was eggin’ ya on earlier today and ya stopped arguin’ with me.”

“You’re angry that I didn’t argue with you today? And you called me just to jerk off, you’re literally disgusting.”

He curses under his breath and you don’t miss the stray “bitch” that comes out of his mouth. “Ya haven’t hung up yet. Bet ya like knowin’ ya got me so worked up.” You really wish he wasn’t right. You can try to suppress the tingle between your legs but it’s there and your fingers are twitching to touch yourself after realizing what he’s doing.

“I could tell everyone on the team what a fucking pervert their captain was. You’ve been doing it the whole time we’ve been on the phone, haven't you?”

“Go ahead and tell them, but I wouldn’t be sittin’ on my fuckin’ high horse if I were ya,” Kita snaps. “Think I can’t hear the lil shake in yer voice? Might as well touch yerself, ain’t no shame in admittin’ yer wrong.”

You’d honestly rather die. Sure, there were days after a heated argument with Kita that had you you coming home and shoving your hand immediately went past your shorts from all the pent up energy. Or the times when you’d fuck yourself dumb on a dildo wishing that it was Kita rearranging your guts instead. But he’d never have to know anything of that. Kita’s ears didn’t have to hear what you sounded like when you made yourself cum. It’s bad enough that he knows how easily he can do it on his own.

Your silence must bother him as Kita speaks up again. “Do I need to spell it out fer ya? Or do ya need some incentive?” His voice gets closer—it’s like he’s in your ear, a shiver running down your spine that rattles your whole body. 

“Ya had me so worked up today, was kinda hopin’ ya’d stay back after practice but ya left so fuckin’ early,” he groans, and now you can very clearly hear the sounds of him stroking his cock. It’s disgusting how easily you could picture it—his shirt off and pants tugged down just enough to free his length. He’s probably on his bed right now, head thrown back at the thought of you.

And here you are, laying in bed with your legs already spread somehow. “Yer so quiet, are ya thinkin’ about how I’m strokin’ my fat cock right now? Could’ve been all yers if ya weren’t such a bitch today,” Kita breathes.

“Bet if ya touched yourself right now it’d be all wet, right? Why do ya just try it? They’re not my fingers, but I’m sure ya can get yerself off.”

It’s nearly instant how your hand ends up slipping past your panties and of course, you’re soaking. God, you hate him so much. You’ve never hated anyone more in your life and yet it doesn’t stop you from plunging two fingers inside you.

Kita hears the small whine leave your lips and wastes no time jumping on it. “That’s my girl, it’s so wet, isn’t it? Bet it’s drippin’ down yer hand. Wish I was there to lick it all up, hm? Ya know I would have ya beggin’ fer my cock.”

“You sound really smug for someone who had to rub one out because I wouldn’t keep fighting with them,” you gasp, curling your fingers just enough to get your thighs to twitch. “Do you do this every night, Shin? Touch yourself when I can’t do it for you?”

Both of you take a moment to curse, the pleasure building with each insult thrown at the other. At least you two are absolutely pathetic when it comes to the other. There’s no winner here—just two incredibly horny losers that want to fuck other so badly it makes them stupid.

Maybe you should bring Kita over here once in a while, the thought of his strong arms pinning you to the soft sheets of your bed sounds a bit pleasant to you. Even if he would totally make snide comments about the posters adorning your walls. You could just hear him say, “Really, you sleep with stuffed animals?” But those comments would die the second your mouth was on him.

Your thoughts and the sounds of Kita’s grunts on the other line have you sighing in pleasure. The movie still playing on your TV completely forgotten about. “Are ya close? Makin’ that dumb face ya make when yer about to cum?” Kita’s thrust get sloppy and you’re sure he’s just as much of a mess as you are.

Is he craving your touch as much as you’re craving his? Does he have thoughts of taking you in his bed? Limbs tangled together on his sheets as your bodies rock against one another. “Let me hear it, wanna hear ya cum. It’s not gonna be as good as when I do it but I just need to hear it—fuck.”

Kita’s rambling and tripping over his words. You’re sure he’s going to cum too, you’d like to hold off on your orgasm just so he’s the first one to go over the edge—you’re so petty—but you can’t do it. Kita’s endurance has always been impressive whether he’s on the court or locked in a supply closet with his lips attached to yours. You can’t say the same, especially when you’re taking the reigns of your own gratification. 

“Shin!” you cried, using your palm to add pressure on your clit. “Wish you were here, want you to make me cum, ah! It’s not the same…” It’s true and you hate saying it, but your small stubby fingers don’t compare to Kita’s longer ones. The ones that know just the right spots to hit and have you seeing stars. You keep going, saying things that you’ll likely regret later on but it doesn’t matter anymore. “I want you here, want your cock, Shin. Need you to fill me up—fuck!”

“I know, ya need me so bad, so fuckin’ desperate for it. Whinin’ like a bitch in heat, huh? Be good and cum fer me and I’ll take care of ya,” When Kita curses like that, you can tell he’s just as close as you are. 

It’s not the same as Kita’s fingers, but it does the job. Before you know it, your orgasm hits, coating your fingers in your juices as you sob through it. Kita grunts, “Good girl, good girl, good girl,” He doesn’t praise you often—very rarely if you’re being honest—but his words are genuine, along with sighs of your name as he cums.

“Holy shit,” he mumbles, milking himself dry. The next few moments are filled with only the sounds of both your heavy breathing—both half-naked, pathetic, and still very, very horny.

It isn’t until the loud sound of a jumpscare on TV that you snap out of the afterglow, a soft “jesus christ,” coming out as you start to clean yourself up. “Don’t tell me that movie actually scared ya. Need me to keep ya safe?”

You’re not stupid. Kita’s clearly looking for an excuse to come over, a line he’s never crossed before. But having over to warm your bed wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. “Just come over, Shin, you’re pissing me off.”

“Fine, since ya want it so bad. Keep the door unlocked,” He hangs up and for the first time in what feels like ages, you can’t hear his voice in his ears. 

You hate that you miss it.

©sugawarassoulmate 2022 all rights reserved - please do not repost/translate my work on other platforms!

[when-they-write-stuff]

SOMETIMES, STILES THOUGHT he understood Derek Hale.

Other times, he thought he never would.

The man was a million things tucked into a leather jacket. Stiles remembered the first time he’d seen Derek in the preserve; scowling, grey-green eyes hard, with an air around him that made younger Stiles a little bit terrified and a little bit intrigued at the same time. And honestly, if he would’ve known then that one meeting would turn into a whirlwind of chaos afterward, the younger version of him might have turned right back around and walked away without thinking twice.

Or maybe he would’ve just grinned. Grinned, knowing that one little meeting with the grumpiest werewolf in Beacon Hills would one day turn into a little bit more. 

If he just had the patience to wait, that is.

But that was then and this was now. Sitting in the loft with the rest of the pack, some rom-com that Lydia had picked out playing on the TV, though most of them were only half paying attention. Scott was all wrapped around Allison, Erica had fallen asleep in Boyd’s lap, and Lydia was scrolling through her phone while Jackson snored at her side. Stiles sat on the floor by himself and watched the TV silently, his brain not even caring what was happening onscreen at the moment.

From somewhere in the kitchen behind all of them, he could hear the faint sound of running water and clinking dishes.

The movie changed scenes— the main couple was kissing. Stiles sighed and pushed himself up.

Isaac made a sound of protest as Stiles accidentally blocked his view, craning his neck to see around. And honestly, the beta seemed to be the only one of them that actually cared about what was happening. Had it been any other time, Stiles might have made fun of him.

But instead, he just rolled his eyes and moved around the couch.

There was a stack of empty pizza boxes on the counter as he entered the kitchen and a line of clean plates next to the sink. Stiles paused in the doorway for a second and stared at Derek literal Hale standing in front of the sink with a towel thrown over his shoulder and an apron wrapped around his hips; a rare sighting of the man without his jacket on.

Then, like a wild animal caught on camera, Derek turned the water off and turned around, giving Stiles an unimpressed look.

“What.”

Stiles hoped his face didn’t look as red as it felt as he snapped out of his thoughts. Forcing himself to just shrug, he moved further into the kitchen and pulled the fridge open, staring unseeingly at the leftovers that he really didn’t care about.

After a long moment of silence, Stiles heard Derek turn the water back on and waited for a few more seconds before stepping back and shutting the fridge again.

“So…” he said, desperately trying not to pay attention to how utterly domestic Derek Hale looked. The man glanced over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow.

“So.”

“Uh. Do you need any help?”

Derek shut off the water again and Stiles noticed for the first time that there weren’t any more dishes left— Derek finished toweling off the last one and gave Stiles a flat look. “No.”

Internally, Stiles cursed himself. “Oh, right. Sorry.”

Derek pressed his lips together, still looking unimpressed. And before he could continue making a fool of himself or Derek could make him feel any more judged, Stiles nodded again and quickly exited the kitchen. Isaac glanced up from the couch as he moved back over, a definite smirk on his lips.

“Nice one, Stilinski. You call that flirting?”

Stiles’s heart skipped at least three beats and he threw a look over his shoulder back toward the kitchen— but all he could hear was the sound of cabinets opening and closing. Derek didn’t seem to have heard the beta.

Clenching his jaw, Stiles gave Isaac the darkest death glare he could muster. “Shut up, Lahey, or I swear to god, will strangle you with your own scarf.”

Isaac smirked wider. “I don’t think Derek would like that very much.”

“I really don’t care what Derek would think.”

“Yeah, we all know that’s not true.”

Stiles glanced over at the others but nobody was even paying their conversation any attention. Well, nobody awake, anyway. Stiles glared back at Isaac, who looked even smugger.

“What, Stilinski? Do you want me to talk a little bit louder?”

“Okay,” Stiles said, shoving himself back up. “You’re an asshole and that’s my cue to leave.”

And just like that, Derek materialized in the doorway of the kitchen. “You’re leaving?”

Stiles blinked at the man, pretty sure his heart had skipped another few beats. Because Derek hadn’t been listening in to any of their conversation, had he? “Uhm, yeah. I’ve got… stuff to do. Important stuff. To do.”

Isaac snorted loudly and then covered it up with the fakest sounding cough Stiles had ever heard. Grinding his teeth together, Stiles reminded himself to throw all of the beta’s scarves into the toilet the next time he came around. 

Derek looked at him for a moment longer before nodding. The man turned around, disappeared back into the kitchen, and Stiles gave Isaac one last furious look.

The beta just smirked and Stiles hated him even more.

Except, as he turned back around to make for the door, Derek came out of the kitchen again. This time, the man approached him with something in his hands.

“Uh,” Stiles froze, blinking at the container that Derek pushed into his hands. He looked down at it, glanced back up at Derek, and then carefully pulled the top off, realizing with a start that it was the rest of the leftover pizza. Blinking again, he gave Derek a confused look. “This is pizza.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Stiles didn’t know how to react. “You know my dad will eat this the moment I bring it home, right?”

For a moment, Stiles could’ve sworn he caught a touch of red in Derek’s cheeks; the man almost looked flustered. But then Derek just shrugged, turning back away, and Stiles was left gawking at the werewolf’s back.

Isaac made a strange noise from the couch. It sounded a little bit like a strangled groan.

Shaking his head, Stiles shoved the lid back onto the container and threw one more confused glance toward the kitchen before heading for the door. And, leftovers in hand, he honestly didn’t know what to think.

It was times like this he didn’t think he’d ever understand Derek Hale.

-

The night Stiles was stuck out in the preserve with Derek, it was raining.

He figured that sounded about right. They’d all drawn straws to decide who would be on watch for the omega that was running loose around Beacon Hills, and Stiles had immediately drawn the shortest one. And then, just because it was his luck, Deaton called Scott, his watch-buddy, in for an emergency shift.

So Stiles was going to have to go out on his own. But then Derek stepped in.

Which really wasn’t so bad, right? Stiles had been alone with Derek Hale before. Like… literally the first day after they’d met. When Stiles had been driving the near-dead werewolf around for a full day while Scott attempted to infiltrate the Argent’s house.

So yeah, he could handle one night. Easily.

But then they got out in the preserve and it started raining. Stiles thought that would make things a little less enjoyable.

“So,” he said, trying not to shiver as his hoodie stuck to his skin like wet paper. “This is nice.”

Derek shot him a sideways glance, not even looking the least bit bothered by the cold as raindrops rolled right off his leather jacket. And Stiles thought the entire world was unfair sometimes. Running a hand through his hair, he attempted to pull up his hood, but it was already soaked through, doing nothing but making his hair even wetter.

He groaned. “Yeah, this isn’t nice at all.”

To that, Derek paused and looked him up and down. Then the man sighed— like Stiles was the ridiculous one— and stripped off his jacket, shoving it into Stiles’s chest. 

Stiles froze, not even daring to touch it for a second.

“Er, Derek?”

“Put it on,” Derek said, letting go. Stiles barely managed to catch the jacket before it dropped into the mud and he blinked as Derek started forward again, head slightly bowed against the rain. The man’s long-sleeved t-shirt instantly started to stick against his skin.

Stiles stared after the man, looked down at the jacket held tightly in his hands, and then looked back up. Except, Derek wasn’t slowing down and he cursed silently, pulling the thing over his shoulders before hurrying after the man.

The jacket was like a portable heater. Stiles probably could have melted into it if his mind wasn’t spinning so fast, shoving his hands into the warm pockets as he stumbled after Derek.

“Dude, Derek, dude.”

Derek finally paused and turned around, giving him a pained look. Stiles fumbled to a stop and despite everything, wrapped the jacket further around himself. Even as he asked the question,

“Are you sure?”

Derek raised an eyebrow, looking from the jacket to Stiles’s face. Stiles flushed. 

“I mean, if you’re not—”

“There’s nothing out here tonight,” Derek interrupted, turning his gaze to the dark trees around them. “Let’s head back.”

Stiles snapped his mouth closed, staring at the man. But once more, Derek didn’t wait for an answer before starting off in a random direction. Shaking his head, Stiles hurried after him, feet slipping and sliding in the mud.

So, Derek Hale was officially the biggest grumpy-growly weirdo Stiles had met, he decided. One who owned an incredibly warm leather jacket.

He understood that much about the man at least.

-

Sometimes, Stiles hated werewolves.

Mostly, he decided one day, laying in bed feeling like he was dying, he hated them for their stupid immune systems. Because honestly, how was it even fair that the assholes couldn’t get sick?

Stiles didn’t see how that followed nature’s rules in any way.

He, on the other hand, was very capable of getting sick. And approximately two days after his dad came home with a slight cold, Stiles caught the thing so hard, it felt like he’d been hit by a truck.

Sometimes, he hated werewolves. And laying in bed, his head pounding and his nose feeling like it was about to start leaking out his brain, Stiles very nearly considered calling up Derek and taking the bite.

Then, as if his thoughts had somehow summoned the werewolf, Stiles’s window was shoved up and Derek pulled himself through.

Despite everything, Stiles didn’t even have the energy to be startled. A psychotic murderer could have come through the window and he wouldn’t even lift his head to complain. In fact, he’d take a psycho murderer if it meant his headache would stop.

He was pretty sure Derek had frozen the moment the man’s feet touched the carpet, because silence descended over the room for a moment. Then, he blinked up as Derek plodded over to his bed and glanced down at him, brows knitted tightly together.

“Stiles.”

Stiles gazed up at him blearily. Derek sniffed deeply and then drew back, looking repulsed. Which— rude.

“You smell bad.”

Stiles groaned loudly, which turned into a sharp cough, which turned into a minor lung hacking, before pulling his blankets up over his head. “Fuck you too, Derek.”

Once more, the room was silent. After a long moment, Stiles peeked back out again and saw Derek was still watching him with a mildly concerned look on his face. After another long minute of literal staring, Stiles sighed. 

“I haven’t showered in like two days, dude. Stop looking at me like that.”

Derek raised an eyebrow. Stiles groaned again.

“I’m sick, asshole.”

The man’s face finally cleared. Stiles noticed for the first time that Derek had the bestiary in his hands— and there was no way in hell he was doing research right now. But then Derek set the book on his bedside table and tucked his hands into his pockets, looking a little awkward. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

“What can I do?”

Stiles blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“What do you need?”

And that was the last response he’d expected to hear from Derek Hale. Ever. “Uhm, nothing? It’s fine. I’m just going to lay here until I wither up and die, but everyone has to go at some point, right?”

To those words, Derek definitely looked concerned. The man’s eyes flashed red for a second and Stiles startled, drawing the blankets further up to his chin.

“That was a joke, Sourwolf.”

But the man just looked at him for another moment before turning back around and heading for the window. Stiles didn’t even have a chance to protest before Derek was pulling himself right back out— and Stiles stared at the empty sill for a moment before sighing heavily.

Stupid sickness immune werewolves. Derek probably thought this was a life or death situation or something.

And honestly, Stiles didn’t expect to see the man again. After all, he smelled bad.

God, he hated werewolves.

His dad had gone back to work that morning and though it had been Stiles’s idea, telling the man he wasn’t five anymore and didn’t need anyone to ‘take care of him’, Stiles still kind of wished he had someone to complain to. Or someone to make him soup. Or even someone to bring him more tissues when he grabbed the last one out of the box.

Because honestly, the very thought of leaving his bed and searching for more seemed like an impossible task. For one bleak moment, Stiles had actually debated using the t-shirt next to his bed.

Then he realized he was losing his mind.

After what felt like a million hours had passed since Derek had left, and Stiles was right on the verge of falling asleep, his window was shoved up again. Stiles snapped right back to reality so fast his headache came back like an avalanche. In that moment, he vowed he was going to murder whoever had just interrupted his sweet, sweet escape into the darkness.

When he could make himself get out of bed, that is.

But then Stiles realized it was Derek. Derek, with a round styrofoam container held in one hand and a grocery bag held from the other. Struggling to sit up, Stiles gave the werewolf an incredulous look, and Derek approached the bed carefully.

The man was still looking at him like he was about to spontaneously combust. 

“I brought soup.”

Stiles just stared.

Derek set the round container on his bedside table and then pulled a spoon out of the plastic bag. Close behind it was a packet of crackers, a box of tissues, and a white bottle of painkillers.

“Boyd said chicken noodle works best,” Derek said, still avoiding Stiles’s blatant stare as he popped the top of the container off. “It should still be hot, so—”

“Derek,” Stiles said, cutting him off. Looking pained, the man finally met his gaze.

“... I also brought crackers.”

“Crackers.”

“For the soup.”

For the soup. Yeah, Stiles had to give it to him; that was a fair answer.

But what?

Before Stiles couldn’t even think of an appropriate reaction to everything that was currently unfolding, Derek was pushing the container of soup into his hands. Instantly, the smell of warmth managed to drift into Stiles’s clogged nose and he almost melted into the mattress, mouth watering.

He hadn’t even realized how hungry he was.

“You brought me soup,” Stiles mumbled, still a little lost in his own head. Derek’s face remained carefully blank and the man nodded once.

“You’re sick.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t actually expect soup—”

Except, Derek didn’t even give him a chance to finish that sentence. Instead, as if dropping off an entire ‘get better now’ cold-care package was all he’d come back to do, the man moved back over to the window. Though still, Derek paused there for a moment, glancing back, and Stiles could’ve sworn his eyes flickered for a moment. The man pressed his lips together, looked like he was going to say something else, and then pulled himself back out.

Stiles gaped in shock at the once more empty window. Because Derek was gone. And this time, Stiles was sure the man was not coming back.

He didn’t even know what to think of the werewolf anymore.

-

Stiles thought it was a little ridiculous how Derek had never learned how to knock.

That’s what he assumed, anyway, when his window was shoved up on a random Friday midnight and Derek the Grumpy Werewolf pulled himself through like he owned the place. Had it been any other weeknight or had Stiles been attempting to sleep, he might have been a little pissed. But as of that night, he was completely procrastinating sleep, and honestly, what use was telling Derek Hale ‘no’ anyway?

The man never knew how to take that for an answer.

Sighing, Stiles paused whatever Youtube video had been playing and half-closed his laptop, giving Derek a raised-eyebrow look.

“Yes, oh alpha of mine?”

For some reason, the man automatically frowned. “You’re still awake.”

And wasn’t that was a creepy way to start the conversation? Stiles blinked and closed his laptop the rest of the way. “Uh, yeah, dude, I am. Now please tell me you weren’t hoping for the opposite because this isn’t Twilight and I own an insane amount of wolfsbane. Just so you know.”

To that, Derek rolled his eyes. “No, Stiles.”

“‘No, Stiles’ what?”

The man just gave him a flat look— but that had been a fair question, okay?

One Stiles clearly wasn’t getting an answer to.

“Okay, then,” he said, raising his hands. “Just be all weird and creepy then, why don’t you? Yes, Sourwolf, I am awake. And no, I don’t plan on going to sleep any time soon. So do you need something?”

Derek hesitated for a moment before pulling something out of his pocket and stepping forward. Stiles sat straighter as the man dropped a set of keys onto his blankets— and automatically balked.

“Are those my car keys?”

Derek shoved his hands into his pockets and looked a little constipated. “Your jeep is parked in the driveway.”

“My jeep is… I’m sorry, what?”

“Parked in the driveway.”

Stiles stared at the man. Then he shoved himself up and stumbled to the window. And sure enough, his jeep was there. A little bit shiny looking, the duct tape no longer wrapped around the driver’s door handle, and wearing what looked like a new set of tires.

Slowly, Stiles turned back around. “Derek, my jeep was at mechanics.”

“Yes.”

Stiles stared. “Because it wouldn’t start.”

“Yes.”

“And it’s been there for three weeks because I couldn’t afford to get it fixed.”

Derek gave Stiles a look that made him feel like the idiot. As if all of this was somehow supposed to make sense. Because…

“Derek, did you pay to have my car fixed?”

The man didn’t answer for a long moment. Stiles took a deep breath, forcing himself not to turn right back around and stare at his jeep for a minute longer. Just to make sure all of this was real.

“Dude, I’m gonna need an answer. That really wasn’t a hard question.”

“... Yes.”

For a moment, all Stiles heard was white noise. Then he stalked forward and shoved a finger into Derek’s chest, but the man didn’t even move. “What do you mean, you fixed my car? Derek! Oh my god, how much did it cost? I’m going to need to get a job to pay you back. No, two jobs. And dip into my college funds. Oh my god!”

Derek finally reacted— by rolling his eyes. “I don’t want you to pay me back.”

“You don’t what ?”

If Stiles was overreacting a little bit, it wasn’t his fault. No, it definitely wasn’t. It was Derek Hale’s fault because apparently, the man thought it was normal to go around paying for people’s car repairments and—

Stiles blinked, staring blankly at the wall beyond Derek’s shoulder. “I’m gonna faint.”

Derek’s eyebrows shot up and he stepped forward; to which Stiles reacted by raising his hands and stumbling back. Ramming into the nearest wall, he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Nope, nope, nope. Do not get any closer, dude. Don’t take one more step. In fact, I think I’m gonna need a minute.”

“I can go,” Derek said, sounding uncertain. Stiles opened one eye and stared at him. 

“That… might be a good idea.”

And it probably wasn’t. No, it definitely wasn’t. But Stiles didn’t know what to think, he didn’t know how to react, and if Derek stuck around any longer, he might feel the need to throw himself out the window instead of sending the man away through it. And his dad would probably not appreciate that. 

Oh god, how was he going to explain this to his dad?

Derek looked at him for a moment longer, concern still written across his face. But then he just nodded and moved back toward the window. Stiles didn’t even watch the man leave, his attention fully fixed on the set of keys on his bed. His stomach flipped.

Derek Hale had just paid to fix his car. 

Stiles had never not understood the werewolf more.

-

It took a while for Stiles to regain the courage to go back to the loft.

The way things had ended the last time he’d been face to face with Derek Hale, he wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to expect. But stepping through the front door, it was clear almost instantly that nothing had changed.

Somehow, literally nothing had changed.

The betas were all gathered around the couch watching something on TV. Stiles caught what smelled like pancakes and heard the sound of dishes clattering in the kitchen. He stood still for a moment, head-spinning, and then moved toward the noise.

Derek was moving around the room with a towel thrown over his shoulder and a line of clean dishes next to an empty sink. The man’s grey-green eyes took their time drifting to where Stiles stood, gaping, and he just raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t know you were coming by.”

Stiles opened his mouth, then closed it. He had no idea what to say.

There was a stack of pancakes next to the stove.

“Are you hungry?”

And with those words, Stiles finally snapped back to reality. Slipping a hand into his pocket, he gripped his keys tightly and stepped forward, holding Derek’s gaze. Because dammit, all of this was throwing him through a loop and he didn’t know how to react anymore. It was driving him crazy.

“Derek, we need to talk.”

The man’s other brow raised and he crossed his arms; Stiles swallowed hard.

“Somewhere else.”

Because the last thing he wanted was any of the betas listening in to their conversation. Derek studied him for a moment longer before nodding and pulling the towel off his shoulder, dropping it onto the counter. Running his hands nervously through his hair, Stiles followed the man out of the kitchen, toward the loft door.

Isaac was the only one who looked away from the TV. The little bastard was smirking wide and obvious.

Stiles ground his teeth together and followed Derek out of the loft.

He’d kind of expected things to be awkward right from the start when he’d stepped foot in the loft. But Derek was acting like the entire event from a week ago hadn’t even happened. Meanwhile, Stiles could barely even look at his jeep without remembering every last word said.

Out in the hallway, Derek gave Stiles a blank look, his expression not betraying a thing. And, god, Stiles hated that about the werewolf sometimes.

“So,” he said, words sticking to his throat. “Yeah.”

Derek’s brows furrowed. Stiles cursed himself internally, biting down hard on his lower lip.

“Derek, what the hell is going on?”

“What do you mean?”

Stiles gaped at the man before shaking his head. Because he wasn’t imagining these things, dammit. “Uh, what do I mean? Derek!” He rubbed a hand over his face. “My car. The jacket. The constant weird leftovers and that one random time I was sick, you literally brought me soup? Even Scott didn’t bring me soup! And I had been complaining through text to him the entire day.”

Derek’s right eye twitched. The man didn’t say a word. Stiles’s head spun.

“I’m not going crazy,” he said. And he kind of needed to hear that out loud, even if he was the one to say it. “I just… I don’t understand you.”

Derek's face did something strange— maybe he looked a little red. But he didn’t say a word and Stiles hated him a little bit.

“I’m not going crazy, Derek.”

“No,” the man said, something in his expression finally softening. Stiles stared and Derek shoved his hands into his pockets, glancing at the wall over Stiles’s shoulder. “You’re not.”

Stiles swallowed hard, desperately hoping the man wasn’t going to leave him at that. Because he didn’t think he could manage more half explanations. The silence stretched as Derek didn’t say anything for a long moment, and then the man dropped his gaze.

“I… don’t know how to do this.”

“Do what?”

“This.”

“I’m gonna need more than that, dude.”

Derek scowled at nothing. The man literally looked constipated now and Stiles might have been a little bit worried if he wasn’t so confused. So damn confused.

“Derek, do what?”

“All of… this! All of this, dammit, Stiles!”

Stiles startled. But before he even had a chance to react, Derek was moving forward. And then there were hands on the sides of his head, desperate lips pressing against his own, and Stiles jolted, nearly yanking back, and then all but melted into the touch.

For a moment Stiles.exe stopped working. His brain officially logged off and his instincts took over, leading Stiles to press right back, kissing Derek as hard as he could. 

And if this was another thing he didn’t understand about Derek Hale, Stiles never wanted to figure the man out.

He kissed Derek hard and hungry. Because how long had he wanted to do this? There was a not-so-little part of him that had imagined kissing Derek Hale. Ever since Stiles had first laid eyes on the man. And okay, maybe he didn’t understand it, maybe he didn’t understand him, but at the same time, maybe Stiles had never wanted anything more. Wanted to know something, know someone, more.

At the rate his thoughts were going, that’s what he clung to anyway.

Derek broke contact first. The man drew back almost as fast as he had moved forward and Stiles was left standing there for a moment, swaying just a little, torn between catching Derek’s lips once more or passing out right where he stood.

But when he met Derek’s gaze, the man looked terrified. The coolness of the werewolf’s expression had finally vanished and Stiles wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Derek’s expression hold so much before.

“Oh,” he said. And yeah, that was the first thing that left his mouth. If possible, Derek’s face paled even more.

“I’m sorry.”

Stiles blinked. Just like that, he didn’t understand a thing about Derek Hale all over again. “You’re… what?”

“I’m sorry,” Derek said, clenching his jaw. “I shouldn’t— I didn’t—”

“Derek.”

The man cut off and looked at him with what could only be called a fragile expression. Stiles swallowed hard, all of it crashing down on him suddenly.

“Derek.”

“Stiles.”

Stiles stared. Derek Hale… god, Derek Hale was an enigma wrapped up in a leather jacket. Every time Stiles thought he was getting close to understanding even the smallest thing about the man, something had to change. Soup on a shitty day or a set of keys dropped onto his mattress. And sometimes Stiles thought he understood Derek Hale. But other times, he thought he never would.

The feel of the kiss still lingered on his lips. Maybe… just maybe he could understand that much. For a moment.

Stiles stepped forward carefully. “You confuse the hell out of me.”

Derek stayed stiff and silent. Reaching out, Stiles brushed the tips of his fingers against the man’s own.

“You’re like a thousand lines of red string, Derek Hale.”

Something flickered in Derek’s eyes. Stiles couldn’t tell if it was confusion or a hint of nervousness. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

Licking his lips, Stiles tilted his chin up and searched the man’s face. “I’m not sure I’ll ever fully understand you.”

This time, Derek looked a little pained. Stiles offered a small smile.

“But I’d like to.”

Grey-green eyes flickered with the faintest hue of red. Stiles closed that last foot of space between them and took Derek’s hands fully, hoping the werewolf couldn’t hear how fast his heart was racing. Because he felt a little lightheaded and a little nauseous— like if this didn’t work out, he might throw up.

Which totally was not sexy at all.

“Derek?”

The man stared at him. The barest hint of color had finally returned to his cheeks. “Stiles.”

“You should totally kiss me again.”

Derek blinked. His expression did something strange. And then it was like the tension had been wiped from his face. In the breath of a moment, warm lips were pressing against Stiles’s again and this time, there was nothing desperate about it. Nothing hard, nothing sudden, nothing rash. The man kissed him warm, careful, and it was kind of like a leather jacket being draped over his shoulders in the cold of the rain.

Stiles smiled against Derek’s lips. Because honestly, there was something about it that just seemed right. And he thought he knew what it all could become. 

He'd like to, at least.

For the moment, though, Stiles kissed the man with just as much hope and decided he understood that much.

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1: LONE STAR REACTION

​This reaction is for season 3, sixth episode "The ATX-Files" which originally aired on February 14, 2022. The episode was written by Molly Green and James Leffler and directed by Yangzom Brauen. Spoilers ahead!

So, it's officially - 9-1-1: Lone Star and American Horror Story exist in the same universe. When Owen was attempting to convince the rest of the 126 of the existence of aliens, he mentioned Dwight D. Eisenhower making a pact with aliens in exchange for their advanced technology. For those of you who watched the last season of AHS - season ten's "Double Feature" - the second half of the season focused on President Eisenhower played by Neal McDonough and an alien invasion in the 1950s. As a fan of both Lone Star and AHS I found this a fun Easter egg in an episode filled with callbacks and Easter eggs.

Speaking of callbacks, the episode opens with a couple of familiar faces. Brianna and Caleb, who we met in season one's "Act of God", are still together despite Grace suggesting that the former dump the latter. In case you need your memory jogged, Caleb is the guy who locked himself inside his dad's gun safe while leaving his girlfriend to fend for herself during the tornado ripping its way through Austin. In this episode, Caleb is apologetic for his treatment of Brianna. It really does sound like he's a shitty boyfriend but apparently Brianna is okay with all of his inadequacies.

When the two of them see what they believe are blue extraterrestrials in the woods, Caleb freaks out and hops onto his ATV and drives off once again leaving Brianna behind. Our runaway boyfriend doesn't get very far and ends up crashing into a barbed wire fence which is officially one of the most painful looking things I have seen on either of the 9-1-1 shows. Owen and the 126 show up and save the day - as usual - and we learn during this rescue that while Owen's crew is skeptical of the existence of aliens, our fearless leader is totally convinced that there is other life out there.

Speaking of other life, our beloved Judd is trying to bridge his past life with his current one. Judd is trying to make up for lost time with Wyatt by planning a weekend for the two of them but quickly discovers that none of their interests align. Grace suggests that Judd asks his vegan, Magic the Gathering-loving, sk8er boi son what he would like to do and Wyatt suggests that they go hunting for aliens.

Now last week I mentioned how much I love the Judd and Tommy friendship. I also quite enjoy the relationship between Judd and Owen. On the surface, the two of them really don't have much in common aside from their occupation but the thing that bonds them is that they have become each other's family after losing their respective houses. Judd goes to Owen hoping the latter can give him some advice on how to navigate his relationship with his Wyatt. I must admit that a part of me was worried when Wyatt was obviously bonding with Owen a lot easier than he was with Judd and if Judd would become resentful. No such thing happened and one of my favorite moments of the episode was when Judd stumbled upon the dead animal in the woods and when Wyatt started to go to him, he told him to stay back. It was such a dad move and it showed me that these two are gonna be alright.

Long story short, there are no aliens - or rather there were no aliens in this episode. What we did have were two of the stupidest human beings I have ever seen onscreen - and I've seen Dumb and Dumber and Beavis and Butthead. Our "aliens" are actually a couple of artists who live in the middle of the woods and spend there days and nights making art and jewelry out of random junk they find and selling it at local flea markets. Their latest find is a tube filled with the same radiation they use to treat cancer and without thinking twice, they crack open the tube and douse themselves with the radioactive powder inside. They also take some of the powder and use it to make a necklace which they sell to a local woman who was looking for the perfect gift for her mother's birthday. The man dies a few days later after being exposed to the radioactive powder and the woman is pretty much knocking on death's door by the time Owen, Tommy, and Judd get to her. 

Meanwhile Grace tries to track down the woman who purchased the necklace from our radioactive couple and is stuck waiting on hold with her credit card company. When Grace finally gets someone on the line, she is transferred to the guy's supervisor who is named Gloria. Now I've checked online to see if anyone has been talking about this but so far I've found nothing. I'm pretty sure that the Gloria that Grace talks to is the same Gloria who got fired from the dispatch center in LA after Maddie discovered she was hanging up on It really did sound like the same person. It would be such a cool callback to a character that endeared herself to me in the few episodes she was featured in and it would yet another 9-1-1 character that has crossed over into the Lone Star universe.

Grace is able to find out who the woman is who purchased the necklace and the 126 is save the day. When Judd arrives home later that evening, he laments the fun weekend he had planned for Wyatt was ruined. Wyatt assures him that the weekend wasn't ruined because all he wanted to do was go camping with his dad and that's exactly what he got to do. I love how amazing Grace is in this moment. Judd has been so obsessed with trying to make things perfect for Wyatt because he feels bad for missing out on 17 years of his life. Grace is so patient as she assures him that it's not his fault that he didn't know about Wyatt and that if given time, the two of them will be able to build a relationship. I know the addition of a new character means we probably we focus less on other characters but I am excited to see the relationship between Judd and Wyatt develop.

Our final story of the night involves Tommy who is very much still grieving the death of her husband, especially as their anniversary approaches. She attends grief counseling and laments that after ten months of Charles being gone she still doesn't have closure. When she arrives home afterwards, she learns from the babysitter that her daughters upset because they believe their house is haunted. At first Tommy is skeptical but then she notices that the lights are flickering. First once. Then four times. Then three times. The significance of these numbers will be revealed in just a moment.

In a twist of fate, Tommy, Nancy, and TK are called to a local medium where one of her customer's is experiencing a medical emergency. Remember how I said this episode was callback heavy? The lady who is having a medical emergency has a roundworm caught in her nose and throat which is just as gag-worthy as it sounds. This moment reminded me of the season one episode of the OG 9-1-1 where Bobby and Buck are called to a gay couple's apartment where one of the guys is experiencing severe stomach pain. While in the ambulance, they notice something worm-like hanging out of the guy's boxers and Buck figures out it's a tapeworm. Tapeworms ... roundworms ... I'm disgusted either way and apparently the roundworms stuck in the woman's throat and nose were from the clean and organic food she'd been eating. I digress.

The real importance of this emergency is that it brings Tommy into contact with the medium who tells her that someone is trying to contact her. Tommy explains that she thinks Charles is trying to reach out to her via the lights flickering in her home. She mentions that the lights will flicker once Then four times. Then three times. The significance of this is that when Tommy and Charles were first dating, their jobs prevented them from spending a lot of time together. Tommy had a pager that Charlie would message 1-4-3 to which is code for "I love you". With their anniversary approaching, Tommy believes Charles is trying to get her attention. When the medium asks her what she thinks he is trying to tell her, Tommy confesses that she doesn't know. The medium suggests that Tommy celebrate their anniversary like she would if Charles were still alive and over dinner tell him how she really feels.

The very next day, after the twins leave with their babysitter, Tommy cooks a nice dinner, lights candles, pours wine and gets dressed up like she would for any other anniversary. The scene where she is talking to Charles was equal parts beautiful and heartbreaking. Tommy talking to an empty seat was very reminiscent of Bobby making dinner for his wife and kids in season one of the OG series. What Tommy wants more than anything is closure. She wants Charles to know that even though she misses him, she and the twins are doing their very best without him. When she asks for a sign, for the lights to flicker, nothing happens and once again I was heartbroken for Tommy.She gets up from the table, blows out the candle and as she is complaining to Buster - who once belong to the dearly-departed Tim Rosewater - she notices the candles are re-lit. As a viewer, I am unsure of what to make of this ending. A part of me thought it would have been more powerful if Tommy was left without any sign but I don't know if I'm supposed to see the candles being re-lit as proof that Charles is trying to communicate with Tommy. Whatever it is, I hope that it gives her the closure she needs.

Well, that's it for this episode. To me, next to the big disaster episodes that usually bookend each season, these kind of episodes that are the perfect balance of action, drama, and comedy, are my favorite kind of episodes. I found the whole alien plot pretty amusing if not disturbing - seriously, who thinks rubbing a strange powder they found in a tube taken from an abandoned hospital all over their body is a good idea? I also liked the scenes with Judd and Wyatt. I think it would be cool to have some scenes between Wyatt and TK in the future since they are the kids of Judd and Owen. I think TK would be a great big brother figure for him. I also liked seeing Grace beat the crap out of Wyatt in whatever video game they were playing. This gave me Buck and Christopher vibes! I love that when talking to Owen, Judd said that Grace was living up to her name when it came to dealing with the news of him already having a kid. Finally, I loved Tommy's plot. I like that we are still seeing her in the throes of grief. Most shows would have written her as having moved on by now but that's not realistic. Grief is different for everyone and there's no timeline for how long it takes to get over losing someone. Going forward, I'm interested to see what happens next for all of our characters.

[jd-loves-fiction]

Kiss Cam

➤ Atsumu quickly regrets inviting you and his brother Osamu, whom you’ve been crushing on since highschool, to one his games once the kiss cam lands on the two of you and he has to witness his friend and brother swap spit onscreen.

➤ genre: fluff

➤ wc: 2k

➤ warnings: 

➤ 🌑 I actually don’t know if there are kiss cams in volleyball games but oh well😅

You understood the thought process that led to the situation you would soon have to confront.

You understood why Atsumu did it and why he didn’t think twice about it.

But it really wouldn’t hurt him to learn how to read the room, but more importantly, your tone of clear distress.

“Look, I’m sorry, didn’t think it’d be a problem. And I still kinda ain’t seein’ the problem?” Atsumu said, sounding genuinely confused, which would’ve made you pity him in any other situation because he truly seemed lost, but not in this particular case.

“Ok, you didn’t think it’d be a problem. And now you know it is! Can’t you do anything to change it?” You were practically pleading, pacing back and forth nervously across the length of the stadium’s bathroom.

“I thought ya got over him!” He said, clearly frustrated. “Nothin’ can be done now. Yer just gonna hafta sit with him. Or ya can just go home, if ya want. Wouldn’t hold it against ya.” He spoke over the phone.

Your shoulders dropped. There’s the pity.

“No. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even be calling you just before the game. I’ll be fine, just focus on winning, alright?” You sighed, defeated.

“’s ok, nothin’ like a lil needless argument to warm up and get the blood pumpin’.” He chuckled, relaxing once more, judging by his voice.

You checked yourself in the mirror again, fixing any stray hairs and wishing you had put more effort into your appearance. If only you had been warned that you'd be sitting next to your highschool crush, Miya Osamu, who you definitely still had feelings for, in the VIP section--

That's enough. No reason to be thinking about that. No time either, as you were already approaching your seat when you came back to your senses.

It had been so long since you'd last seen him. You thought that maybe your memory betrayed you and he wasn't nearly as attractive as you remembered him to be, or perhaps he wouldn't age well. All those possibilities were proven to be completely incorrect the moment you spotted him.

Gone was his warm grey hair, now replaced with his natural black, his shoulders seemed even wider (which didn't seem possible at the time) and he seemed leaner, not at all out of shape but not as filled with muscle as before. It suited him.

You wondered for a moment if he even remembered you (you'd be quite hurt if he didn't) let alone as vividly as you remembered him.

Did he remember you as the shy girl from his class who didn't fall at his brother's feet (and instead fell at his, but he didn't know that) and instead chose to befriend him and find her way into his circle? Did he remember what you looked like? The jokes you made behind Atsumu's back? The lunchboxes shared? How he always seemed to want a pice of yours more than any other, despite the deliciousness of his own? The little game you started where you would try to get him to laugh with the dumbest of methods because you were curious on what his laugh sounded like and why he didn't show it more often?

Did he remember you at all? Sure, those memories seemed significant enough, to you, because you were smitten with him.

He, on the other hand, had a hoard of fangirls waiting on his neck and call much like his brother, and various girlfriends (if the rumors were to be trusted, which they usually weren't, but it had to be true, with everything he had. The body, the face, the personality, the humor).

Sure, him and Atsumu didn't befriend a whole lot of girls, but there were at least a few. Would he confuse you with one of them?

"Y/N?"

Before you could step all over your own heart once more with worst case scenarios, already thinking about turning back and leaving, you heard his low voice call out your name, slow and unsure.

He blinked at you for a moment, wondering if his eye betrayed him, until you waved shyly at him while approaching. His pout immediately turned into a small and soft smile that made your heart flutter.

"Hi! Haven't seen you in a while!" You greeted amicably as you sat down next to him, mentally struggling to come up with topics to discuss. If you remembered correctly, he was never one for small talk, and nothing would be worse than silence right now.

"Right back at ya! How've you been doin'?" He asked politely, still smiling at you. You don't remember seeing him smile for this long (genuinely) before. Oh God, his smile is so cute--

"Oh, nothing much. Looking for a job at the moment." You said dismissively, mentally scolding yourself for making yourself sound so uninteresting. Osamu didn't seem fazed though.

"Well, I'm probably gonna need some help durin' the summer. So, if ya need a part-time job while in Hyogo or something, come by my shop: 'Onigiri Miya'. Sure Tsumu's told ya about it already though, heard y'all kept in touch." He offered, successfully managing to seem calm and collected despite the excitement he felt at the possibility of spending time with you, doing what he loves. That and hide the envy he felt for your having kept in touch with his brother and not him, but then again he could've been the one to reach out so he didn't really blame you.

"Oh! Well I am planning to pass through... Maybe I'll take you up on that offer." You smiled, ignoring how easy it was to talk to Osamu. Who the hell would talk about a summer part-time with their highschool crush after however many years it's been? You two apparently.

But it was nice. Everything about Osamu was nice.

"But honestly, it's real nice to see ya again. Ya look great, I mean it." He said softly, hoping you hadn't noticed the way his eyes had roamed your figure for a moment when he saw you.

You blushed, looking away in response and giving his a meek 'thanks', acting like a highschool girl with a huge crush all over again, but then again, what really had changed?

"You don't look so bad yourself." Was all you managed to say before the game was announced to be starting soon, followed by the fans' loud cheers.

You and Osamu traded comments and jests, poking fun at people in the audience as well as some players (mostly Atsumu), and even though it seemed childish, it made you feel like a highschooler again. Actually it seemed to almost transport you fully onto a very specific day.

You remembered that day quite clearly, for whatever reason. It was during your first year, Osamu had injured himself and had to sit out of a practice match that Inarizaki had against another school. Atsumu (or was it Osamu? You couldn't remember exactly) had asked you to come see the game and "cheer him on". Truth be told, he knew that you wouldn't be doing any of that, and in a way he was glad you wouldn't.

As you entered the gym, you noticed Osamu right away, sitting dejectedly on the sidelines, on the bench, seemingly unbothered and uninterested, but by the grip he had on his shorts and the light tapping of his foot in the floor, you could tell it wasn't so.

The team all knew you by this point, so the coach simply nodded at you as you entered, headed straight to where Osamu sat, eyes wide and glued to the match in front of him, passing in front of him purposely to bring his attention towards you instead.

You placed your bag on the ground before sitting next to it, receiving an odd look from the younger twin.

"Why're ya sittin' on the floor?" He asked as you simply smiled. "Why do you look like you're plotting a murder?" You asked bluntly, to which he gave you a surprised but impressed look, shaking his head and motioning for you to sit with him.

"I'm not. Now come sit with me. Bet it's cold there." He tried tempting your but you merely shook your head, staying where you were.

Reason being that 1. Yes, you were close to most people on the team but you weren't part of it and that's what the bench was for and 2. You had a plan.

"What kind of face do you think that middle blocker's gonna make when Suna spikes?"

"Well..."

You remember making comments about both teams and laughing quietly amongst yourselves, and with where you sat, Osamu had to lean in your direction to hear what you were saying, therefore taking at least a little of his attention away from the game so that he didn't stomp through the floor in restlessness.

The halftime interval was announced finally, each team taking the time to recover some of their strength.

One of the huge screens situated at the edges of the stadium switched on, showcasing a vignette in the shape of a pink heart with the words 'Kiss Cam' at the top, the camera attached settling on two people making them lean towards each other to do as the screen indicated while the crowd cheered.

"Wait. Atsumu told you I was coming? Why? And why didn't he tell me?" Osamu shrugged at your question, seemingly not privy to his brother's thoughts on the matter. Which was a lie.

Atsumu had told him because he knew of his crush on you, and saw this little encounter as the perfect way to 'rekindle the flame' as he put it, as if you were some old couple who were simply bored of each other and not too young adults hopelessly head over heels for the other but unable to make a move.

As you tried to wrap your head around Atsumu's reasoning (useless, knowing him), Osamu took notice of a camera preparing to settle on your position.

Both of your faces appeared onscreen inside the (to some) dreaded pink heart, the crowd cheering once more as you looked around yourself, confused, until Osamu pointed you in the direction of the screen and watched as your face became beet red, before you hid it in your hands.

So that's what Atsumu meant when he told him to 'take any chance to make a move if he got one', the bastard. Osamu glanced briefly at his brother below, looking at his stupid smirk and dumb thumbs up of encouragement. He set this up.

As Osamu turned to you, so pretty, so cute, an image he could never truly erase from his mind fully since highschool, he realized that this was his chance. And he had to just man up and take it. Not repeat the same mistake.

The black haired man placed a gentle hand on the back of your lowered head, ignoring the way the crowd roared louder, and leaned towards you as you raised your head to look at him, being met by his face mere centimeters away from yours.

He looked at you in concern, wanting to make sure that you truly wanted this as much as him.

And you, realizing that fuck it he looked like he wanted it as much as you and you really had nothing to lose, leaned forward to meet him halfway as the crowd's ruckus crescendoed one final time.

The exchange must've lasted maybe a full minute, if that, but it seemed so much longer to you. It seemed like an eternity before you felt his soft, flavoured lips meet yours in a shy kiss, sweet but hesitant. Exactly like two highschoolers would do after confessing.

You parted after a moment, timidly opening to your eyes to check Osamu's expression, only to find him smiling as giddily as you felt inside, hand still steady on your head, simply cupping it and not pushing.

Spurred on by his clear excitement, you leaned back towards him, joining your lips passionately with your eyes closed as the cheering faded from your ears, solely focused on the feeling of Osamu's lips against your own, slow but firm.

As you parted, looking away from each other shyly, you both caught a glimpse of Atsumu, gagging down by the benches.

He was obviously happy for his brother and friend, but he would've preferred to not watch as they locked lips as passionately as they did.

[noethicalconsumptionunderdisney]

Ranked: Hannah Montana — Jake Ryan Episodes

Here we are at last: Jake Ryan.  I think you all probably could’ve seen this coming, but I had to keep you waiting (and gather my thoughts a bit).  Of Miley’s canon love interests, Jake (Leslie) Ryan is the one that gets the most screentime overall, and happens to be my personal favorite match for her, so it only makes sense to dedicate a Ranked post to him.  As per usual, I’ll be revealing these rankings from Worst->Best, in reverse-order of how much I liked them.

Which brings us to probably the most unambiguous “Worst” ever:

“The End of the Jake As We Know It” (Season Four)

Yeah.  Of all the episodes on this list, this is the only one I actively dislike.  I don’t think this one was too much of a shock to anyone, but let me talk about why anyway:

This is the first and only time Jake shows up in Season 4.  He’s barely shown in Season 3, which we’ll talk about a little more further down, but he really just seems to appear solely to be dragged through the mud, and then unceremoniously shooed out so Miley can ride off into the sunset with Jesse. I don’t even necessarily have a problem with them breaking up.  I wouldn’t be happy about it, but you could at least give a better reason— you’ve done it before!  Twice!  And there’s a perfectly good reason right there in front of them: they’ve been apart for a while, they liked each other as kids, but now that they’re getting older and growing into separate lives, they’re growing apart.  But no, let’s just have him randomly cheat on her, because that’s totally a satisfying conclusion to a multi-season arc.  Calling one of your most beloved recurring characters a dick for 30 minutes is peak comedy, amirite?

This is also the only time in Season 4 that Oliver is actually an important part of an episode? He shows up for like 5 minutes in the Finale, but really, the Season 4 episode where he has the most screentime is this one.  And while there’s nothing wrong with how Oliver is written here, it just makes a little extra mad, because most of his screentime is focused on this dumbass plot development.  I can’t help but think, They brought back my man for this?! on both counts.

But let’s move on to less loathsome episodes, shall we?

“He Could Be The One” (Season Three)

Okay, I might catch some shit for this.  I know. This episode’s very popular.  I am aware of that.  And I don’t actually hate this episode, like with the other one.  I like the song, I like Miley asserting herself to her dad when it comes to her dating life, Lilly and Oliver are on-point (although that does kind of apply to the last episode too), and I even liked most of the interactions between Miley and Jake.  That said, here’s why I’m ranking it so low:

THE ONLY REASON IT EXISTS IS TO SET MILEY UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

Everything from the start of the episode to the weird reframing of Miley and Jake’s complicated past to the focus on Miley bonding with someone else, thinking about that someone else when she’s singing to Jake, talking about how she wants to kiss that someone else so badly except for the inconvenient fact that she’s with Jake, to the episode treating them like equivalent options that are just so hard to decide between despite she and Jesse barely knowing each other and having no history outside this episode… every bit of it is designed to make you like the other guy better and root for the other guy.  

And I guess if you haven’t watched the other episodes, or you have but it’s been awhile and you don’t remember them super-well, it’s easier to root for Jesse (ignoring all the problems that he himself has as a character, in this episode, even, but let’s not focus on that right now).  But this show can’t trick me that easily, sorry not sorry.

I “should” like this episode more, given that this is when they get back together, but they could’ve gotten them together differently.  Instead, we have Lilly berating Miley for going back to her ex after she rejects Jesse, we have Miley… tackling Jake?  Did anyone else find that odd?  Funny, yes, but weird as hell, and not really indicative of their dynamic.  And worst of all, we have them completely rewriting history and hoping we don’t notice.  It’s not respectful to list “we have so much history” as a reason to stay with Jake if you can’t be bothered to portray that history accurately.  So before we delve into that history a bit, let me make one thing abundantly clear:

Jake did not break Miley’s heart.  He’s also not the only one who’s ever fucked up or acted immaturely in their relationship. You wouldn’t know it from watching this, but she’s the one who broke up with him the only time they actually did date.  Yeah, it was kind of crappy of him to make her think he was marrying her friend so he could “Gotcha!” her on TV, and it wasn’t great of him to kiss her and then leave in Season 1, but that’s a far cry away from “breaking her heart.”  He literally never did.  The fact that they framed it that way is not only frustrating, but also some gross foreshadowing for what they ultimately did to his character later on.

That said, the way Jake actually is when he’s onscreen (i.e. when you look at how he actually acts and not just how other people are talking about him) is pretty in-character, funny even.  Miley and Jake still have their chemistry and their interactions are amazing apart from that weird tackling thing, and Jake reacting to the cat sweater was something I didn’t know I needed.  So objections aside, I do like this episode.  Just not as much as what’s to come.

“Jake… Another Little Piece of My Heart” (Season Three)

So while my previous entry was largely dedicated to explaining why it was ranked lower, this entry is going to be a defense of sorts, explaining why this episode, yeah might not be the best, but is a lot better than people remember, or at least is one I’m still very fond of.  

In Jake’s last appearance before this, Miley agreed to be “just friends” with him.  Here, we see them following up on that.  She calls him “one of [her] best friends,” and not only that, she shows that she knows him well enough to know why he, of all people, should not be getting married young.  “You change your phone plans every 6 weeks.”  How does she know this?  Because they kept in contact with each other.  They contact each other frequently enough for her to know that he changes his phone plan all the time.  They kept their promise!  They’re exes, yes, and there’s still tension there as we see in the end, but they genuinely do feel like friends, and not just like they’re awkwardly forcing it.

Miley is understandably pissed when he pranks her, but that’s only because she cares so much, and I do think there’s genuine concern there as a friend, even if she very likely was also jealous.  They’re comfortable around each other, they’ve gotten to know each other a lot better, and the hint that there’s still more lingering between them at the end is both promising and open-ended.  They don’t get back together right then… but they show that they could, because those feelings are still there, despite everything.

I wonder, though, if this episode would’ve worked better had it aired earlier.  We get indications that it was filmed earlier than some of the others, namely that scenes from it show up in the Opening Credits for that season, but for whatever reason, it didn’t air until much later.  I’m not sure why, but I do think things could’ve been better had they reintroduced her relationship with Jake (friendship with some lingering feelings) earlier on, had a few more “regular” episodes without him, and then given the two a proper arc later in the season rather than just one episode where they’re like, “We’re back together now!  But I also kind of like this other guy!  Oh no!” and then he’s not there the rest of the season.  But c’est la vie.  

Now onto the good stuff:

“Good Golly, Miss Dolly” (Season One)

Honestly, the way the entire Season 1 arc unfolds with them is so natural and beautifully done, I almost don’t feel like it’s fair to dissect them individually and split them up based on personal favorites, because they work best in order and as a unit. But I still have my opinions.

I’ve expressed previously why I love Dolly Parton’s appearance here and why she kills it, but in terms of Miley’s development with Jake, this one remains the most stagnant and frustrating. Painfully realistic, of course, and very in-character for everyone, but of all the Season 1 Jake episodes, this is the one that has the least Jake in it?  Which is not really why I’m ranking it lower, but it does put their dynamic into generic “girl clearly likes guy but is too proud and scared to admit her feelings” territory.  Which is necessary for their story to develop, but isn’t as fun as the episodes where we actually see why she hasn’t been “falling all over him” up to this point (meaning, her aversion to his personality).  And we pretty much end the episode right where we started: once again, Miley’s pining over him, wants to express her feelings for him, but feels like she can’t… only now she’s got a more solid reason not to.

“More Than A Zombie To Me” (Season One)

I was torn at first between this one and the Dolly one, but I ranked this one higher for a few reasons. For one, the storyline is a bit more complex and nuanced.  Lilly teases Miley for being in denial of her feelings for Jake, Miley rejects him when he asks her out… but then Hannah Montana has to kiss him.  She makes a case for why she shouldn’t have to kiss him… only to realize she wanted to when they actually listen to her.  Jake respects her “no” and asks someone else… only for her to realize she wanted him after all.  Miley fights with Lilly for Jake’s affections… only for her to realize that her friendship with Lilly is more important than whether or not she “gets the guy.”  

Beat for beat, Miley is always one step behind, not because she’s stupid, but because she has too much pride to see what’s right in front of her, to acknowledge her own feelings.  It’s not the most pleasant characterization for Miley, but it is very telling characterization, and it paints an interesting picture of her and her relationships to both Jake and Lilly— that she genuinely wants to mean what she says and say what she means, but her pride makes it harder for her to figure out what she actually wants.  She genuinely wants to be a decent, down-to-earth person, but sometimes she’s too self-centered to realize how she’s coming off and how she might be hurting others.

What’s most interesting here, though, is Lilly’s characterization and development in the Jake arc.  In this episode and the one before it, she’s among the girls who are “falling all over” Jake, even continuing to say “Sup” to him because he said it to her once like it’s their “special thing.”  She alternates between starstruck awe over Jake and amusement over Miley’s aversion to him, teasing Miley that she may be protesting too much, and shamelessly drooling all over him to Miley’s annoyance.  After this episode, we see her being the supportive friend and #1 Shipper On Deck for Jake and Miley… then firmly against Jake and Miley together after they break up the first time, and from that point on, genuinely over Jake and wanting what’s best for her best friend.  

But this episode… this is where we see the switch.  This is where we see Lilly giving Miley a fair shot, then taking Jake for herself when the opportunity presents itself.  This is where we see her doing something for herself for once and going beyond that “best friend” role… only to realize it’s not meant to be. That Jake only ever had eyes for Miley. That she was the canned fruit cup he settled for after all.  It’s painful and heartbreaking, and perhaps a less strong friendship wouldn’t be able to withstand it, but theirs does.  Because Lilly does.  Because Lilly knows that whatever Miley says, being with Jake would make her happy, and Jake wants Miley more than anyone else.  And she’s willing to do whatever it takes to help them be happy together… even if it means she doesn’t get the guy herself.  I think Lilly’s role in all this is so underrated, and she deserves massive credit for the maturity and development she displays here.

And of course, we have more characterization for Jake, where he’s… very much himself, but also better than Miley initially gives him credit for.  Yeah, he’s still hiding behind his ego and bravado, and he does initially say Miley must’ve been nervous to reject him when he asks her out a second time on the beach, but we also see him accepting that she doesn’t like him back (or so he thinks).  We see that he’s sweet to Hannah as a coworker, and then he confides in her that he likes Miley because she’s “cute, funny, smart, down-to-earth,” and because she sees him as a person, not as a superstar. I do think “moving on” from Miley by asking out her best friend, right in front of her, is kind of a dick move (or possibly a jealousy play), and he could’ve made a little more of an effort to be loyal to Lilly as she was his date, rather than being so obvious that he preferred Miley, but overall, I think this is a good episode for developing Jake as someone with hidden depths, and someone Miley could realistically fall for.  

(Also, the subplot is comedy gold from start to finish.)

“People Who Use People” (Season One)

Their first kiss! Yeah, there’s no getting around it: this one’s amazing.  Their banter is just on point from beginning to end.  We have a continuation of Jake and Hannah’s pleasant costar relationship, a continuation of Miley’s ever-more-obvious feelings for Jake, and we have a culmination of the tension between the two in an incredible scene. Once again, this does one of my favorite things: it turns the narrative on its head.  We know Miley used Willis to make Jake jealous, but now it’s revealed that Jake was doing the same thing with Holly all along.

“Holly?  She’s not my girlfriend.  We have a movie coming out, so we’ve been hanging out, it’s a publicity thing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”

“Uhhh… well…  I-I think I—”

“Wait a minute, I know why.  Because you were trying to make me jealous.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.  Admit it, Jake, you like me.”

“No, you like me, just say it.”

“No, you say it!”

“No, you!”

“No, you!”

*cue Big Damn Kiss*

They spar with each other like this all episode, meeting each other on the same level beat for beat. And Lilly eating popcorn in the background and falling off her chair?  Let’s not lie to ourselves, we were all Lilly in this moment.  Ultimately, this isn’t the story of “how they got together,” because Jake leaves for a movie, but even that makes some sense.  He feels good that he got to kiss her before he left and doesn’t have to wonder what it would’ve been like, she feels angry that he kissed her when he knew he’d be leaving soon, and ultimately his acting career comes before him having a normal life, as it always sort of has, which unfortunately means it also has to come before Miley.  But once again, we have an open ending, a clear “not now” rather than a “never,” and a question to be potentially answered in the future: Will They, Might They, and Would It Work Out?  And of course, what’s next?

But before we get into that, let’s talk about where it all began:

#3: “New Kid in School” (Season One)

Who doesn’t love a good First Meeting, especially one that starts off with two prospective lovers starting off on the wrong foot?  What I love about them starting off on the wrong foot here, though, is that it’s not really due to misunderstandings.  On the contrary, Miley is the only person who knows exactly what’s going on— even better than Jake does, I’d argue, because he doesn’t even realize how arrogant he comes across, and Miley’s the only one willing to call him out on it.

This isn’t even particularly a shippy episode, apart from “Also, he thinks I’m cute, not that I care,” but I’d argue it’s better because it establishes them as characters first, and as Foils.  Both of them are celebrities attending normal school and who, in theory, want to be treated like normal kids, but while Jake talks the talk and still gets everything he wants, Miley walks the walk and has to lose her celebrity privileges in exchange for peace and privacy.  It’s understandable that Miley feels she’s gotten the short end of the stick, and it’s only later, after she’s opened her big mouth of course, when Jake confides in her that sometimes he really does wish he could be normal, it’s only then that she realizes she’s the lucky one.  

But of course it’s not too late for her, it’s too early in the show for that!  So we see her family coming together in this hilarious scene where they pretend they’re all crazy celebrity-impersonators.  As a side note, I like to think they didn’t buy the Elvis costume for this, but that Jackson just had it lying around already and was itching for an excuse to use it.  (Maybe he was Elvis for a previous Halloween, idk.)

In any case, the reason I rank this higher is that even though it doesn’t show that Miley and Jake like each other all that much, it shows why they could like each other, which in my opinion is more important.  I mean, ideally, you’d have both, but this does a good job of introducing Jake as someone who seems like just another egotistical celebrity Miley can’t stand, but underneath that, is someone who just might understand what she goes through better than anyone, and Miley is the perfect person to understand him right back.  

#2: “That’s What Friends Are For?” (Season Two)

The return of not one, but two iconic guest stars in the best and worst way: together.  Months after their breakup, Miley finds Jake at her doorstep after sparring with Mikayla, and is sure he’s only there to get her back… but he just wants to be friends.  Great!  Good, no drama!  That’s exactly what she wanted… right?

Even better, he invites her on the set of a talk show so he can reveal his new movie… and his new costar, her archrival Mikayla.  The worst part is, he chose Mikayla out of courtesy.  He doesn’t know Hannah and Mikayla hate each other, because they act friendly when they’re on-camera.  He did it because he values his relationship with Miley, and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by inviting her to play his love interest.  And Miley… well, we all know Miley isn’t as okay with this as she pretends to be, and it only becomes more apparent as the episode goes on.

What I love about this is the role reversal this puts them in.  For once, Jake is the one being mature, and Miley is the one that needs to apologize and grow, and admits it.  It’s framed that way and everything.  It’s almost bittersweet to watch, because this was such a good step for them, and probably the most mature episode involving the two. To see them go backwards in development after this, to see Jake be raked through the coals by the writers, all that good will between them forgotten and retconned and burned to hell later on, there’s just something very bitterly tragic about it.  This episode was so important for them, not just as a relationship, but as people, and I wish that good will they had towards each other had remained and gotten a proper follow-up.

Of course, this was itself an excellent follow-up to…

#1: “Achy Jakey Heart” (Season Two)

Was it ever even a question? Jake Ryan returns in glorious fashion: falling from the sky, in a tux, down on one knee begging Miley’s forgiveness, with chocolates from the sky.  Say what you will, that man knows his way around a Big Romantic Gesture.  And he doesn’t stop there: muffins, “Jake steak,” a cardboard cutout, and barging in the front door in a literal knight costume, he asks what more he can do.   More importantly, he says, “You’ve dumped stuff on me, and you’ve yelled at me.  The one thing you haven’t done is tell me you don’t care about me.  Tell me that, and I’ll go away.”  Even after all this, he’s willing to respect her if the answer is “no.”  He just wants to make sure it’s “no” because she doesn’t want him, and not because she doesn’t believe he cares for her.  He does care for her, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to prove it.  

He gets tested for this pretty much right away, fails in private, and then passes in public when Miley least expects him to.  After telling Miley he can’t take her to a movie premiere because he’s pretending to date his costar, he rejects his costar on live TV to confess his love for Miley.  He doesn’t do it expecting her to come back, rather, he admits his fault and accepts that for him, there’s no happy ending.  And Miley responds in the best way possible, showing up with a “Who says real life doesn’t have happy endings?” and a Big Damn Kiss of her own.

This is also when they confide in each other.  Jake tells her his real name is Leslie, and Miley tells him she’s Hannah Montana.  They’re vulnerable with each other for the first time in their relationship, and they understand each other better than ever. Unfortunately, it’s understanding, or lack thereof, that also leads to their demise.  

Jake wants to be a normal guy, or at least he thinks he does.  Miley feels to a certain extent that she is a normal girl, just a normal girl who happened to get famous.  And that disconnect, that difference hurts them.  Miley realizes that Jake doesn’t actually know what it’s like to be normal, and having to be with someone who can’t handle one night of it, as well as the pressure of being famous as Miley too, is what finally cracks them open.  I will say she could’ve handled it a lot better, and good on Jake for calling her out on her lack of communication, but in the end, their relationship is left with a mutual understanding: that Jake respects her secret, listened to what she had to say, and wants to improve.  Not so that he can get her back, but so that he can be “worthy of someone as terrific as” her.  

This also has ONE OF THE BEST SUBPLOTS OF ALL TIME.  Cheese jerky?  Capitalist commentary?  Jackson rolling in money and Rico being mad about it? Oliver and Jackson doing a rap together? Are you not entertained?  Like its main plot, this does end up reverting to the status quo by the end, but it’s done in a way that’s both crushingly realistic and brutally hilarious.  Overall, this episode?  One for the ages.

So there it is— every Jake Ryan episode, ranked.  I have a whole ton more I could say about Jake Ryan, Miley Stewart, and their overall dynamic (and probably will, this week lol nope), but I feel like this is a decent start that outlines my opinions in quite a bit of detail.  While not a perfect couple by any means, they sure as hell made the screen a lot more interesting.  And hey, the course of true love never did run smooth, why should they be any different?

[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to Run! BTS: 1-20

Hi all! Welcome to part one of my overview of all jikook moments in Run! BTS and Run BEHIND. 

My biggest takeaway from these early episodes is that BH didn't quite know how to make a good variety show yet. Some of the set-ups are awkward and the guys are clearly still getting used to being on camera in this format. The jikook moments aren’t as frequent or obvious. As we go on, expect less “they look at each other in a maybe meaningful way” and more “then he sat down in his lap...” That said, this set of episodes includes both the priest skit and the cops skit, so if you’re into role-play, this was your era of Run!

Episode Guide under the cut, to avoid both spoilers and taking up half your dash...

UPDATED PER THE SUGGESTIONS OF SOME LOVELY COMMENTERS. THANK YOU ALL! New content in bold. 

FYI: When you don’t see “BEHIND” descriptions or photos, it means there were no notable jikook moments. I’ve given each ep a general rating and a special Jikook-ery rating, both out of 5. YMMV!

Ep 1  (n/a)

The one that’s just a commercial for the V app

Ep 2 “The Greatest Man” (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

The one with the most homoerotic series of challenges I’ve ever seen to prove who’s the “best” man

6:28 - Jimin TWICE randomly announces during musical chairs that JK will win 

Not ikook-specific, but FYI, Jungkook REALLY likes being tickled. If you want a vague idea of what the beginnings of an OT7 orgy might look like, the scene at 2:09 is for you! And if you’re curious what each member looks like putting on lipstick and holding their mouths open, check out 4:24. 

Ep 3  “Theme Park” (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one at Six Flags that’s not worth watching unless you enjoy shaky camera footage of people screaming on roller coasters

5:44 - When Jimin is proud of himself for having ridden a coaster, JK goes to say something to him but keeps glancing at the camera self-consciously.  

6:19 - With the camera further away, JK and JM talk with each other while waiting on line

7:06 - JK fast-walks to get to JM and then leans on JM’s shoulder to check the post-ride pictures

Ep 4  “30 Second Gate” (Ep: 1 / KM: 0.5)

The one where they do fairly boring challenges in a pool

5:26 - There’s a super brief instant of JK looking over at Jimin while shyly tugging on his shirt collar. Prob not even worth being noted as a moment, but JK looks so adorable that I’m including it anyway

Ep 5  “100 Seconds Sports Day” (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one with a rather repetitive relay game

5:56 - JM playfully throws a milk carton at JK when JK fails to complete his task

7:53 - JK does some “teleporting” where he goes from being behind Suga in one shot to next to JM in the following one. He stays next to JM the whole rest of the time they’re mixing the drink. 

Ep 6 “Sketch: Confession” (Ep: 2 / KM: 4)

The priest sketch that launched a thousand AUs...

3:30 - Jungkook comes in to “confess his sins” to Jimin, who is playing a priest and calls him “darling.” JK confesses to using Jin’s razor while also claiming to be the eldest in BTS. Jimin tells him that he’s so handsome, it must be that he’s blessed by God and can be forgiven for most things. Jimin tells JK to give him a hug to get forgiveness for his sins. As they hug, both are smiling and the onscreen text tells us how happy Jimin is and puts a little heart next to his face during the hug. Jimin strokes JK’s cheek after and it seems to make JK a little shy. Jimin calls out “bye, darling” as he leaves, then calls him “cutie” for the camera.  For comparison’s sake, Jimin hits V on the forehead and makes J-Hope do 50 push-ups to earn forgiveness. He hugs J-Hope at the end of it and the difference between how that hug feels versus the one with JK is clear as day.

Ep 6pt2 “Sketch: Confession” (Ep: 2 / KM: 0 )

None (neither appear in this episode)

Ep 7 “Paintball” (Ep: 1 / KM: 1)

The one that reminds you paintball is more fun to play than to watch

I’ll be honest, guys, between the masked helmets they’re wearing and the constant cutting around, I cannot follow the paintball games in this episode at all. I’m going to go out on a limb and say nothing particularly shippy happens during them. 

9:54 - JK picks up Jimin from behind and bounces him around for a while (we don’t know how long because the camera cuts before he’s done). It will be revealed in ep. 10 that this is part of JK’s secret mission, which is to get Jimin to say “please stop.” However, despite Jimin not looking thrilled at all the bouncing around, he doesn’t tell JK to stop.

Ep 8 “Treasure Hunt” (Ep: 2 / KM: 2)

The one where they run or ride ATVs to find flags in the woods

1:15 - Jimin says out of nowhere that he thinks JK is going to be running and tells him to be careful not to bump into anyone (I think - the subs are a little weird on this one).

13:09 - JK tries to take one of JM’s meal ticket flags. JM refuses and claims JK called him “trash.” JK (kind of?) denies this and throws his one flag on the ground in frustration. J-Hope grabs it and JK sulks a bit because he’s left with nothing. 

13:33 - Jimin reverses course and gives JK one of his flags. JK is delighted. RM asks why (apparently he, Jimin, and V had a deal to share their flags?) and Jimin just responds that Jungkook is very cute (which the on-screen texts puts a heart next to).  Jimin ends up giving a flag to V, too, but he makes him beg like a dog first. 

14:16 - Jimin calls JK over and gives him a brief hug / pat on the back

Ep 9 “Bungee Jump” (Ep: 1 / KM: 0.5)

The one where it is what it says on the tin

11:25 - Some jikookers have reported hearing JK say an un-captioned “pretty” here (sounds like yebbeo or yeebeun in Korean). I’ll be totally honest that I can’t really make it out, but I will put this note here in case others with better ears than mine want to check it out!

13:59 - JM has his arm around JK at the start of the shot here

Ep 10 “Spy for Silmido Island” (Ep: 2 / KM: 2)

The one where everyone eats a meal as they learn how JK has been doing secret missions the last three episodes

6:16 - JK explains that he failed his mission to get Jimin to say, “please stop.” We see flashbacks of JK trying - in addition to the above picking JM up, JK also pulled on his hair and gave him a shoulder rub (there is no explanation for why he thought that would be something JM would tell him to stop), and spraying him with a water bottle.  The main jikook takeaway from this and the confession episode seems to be that JM will let JK get away with anything because he think he’s cute. 

7:00 - We see that JM inadvertently made JK fail his mission to feed the camera man because, when JK held out food, JM got JK to feed him instead

Ep 11 "Back to School" (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

The one where Suga dresses as a girl and gets hit on by the rest of the band

21:28 - Despite Jimin doing nothing but smiling in the sketch, JK says he's the day's MVP and is weirdly sincere about it

24:05 - YMMV on jeon-lous, but he does indeed do the tongue thing here when JM is flirting with girl-Yoongi

Ep 12 "Cops" (Ep: 4 / KM: 4)

The police sketch that launched ten thousand AUs...

6:46 - "Detective" Jungkook pulls "criminal" Jimin away by his collar 8:41 - After Jimin acts cute and says he's bored, JK comes over and slaps his upper thigh before throwing Jimin over his shoulder and slapping his butt. When JK puts him down, Jimin just looks at him with a dazed smile for a moment before they continue on with the sketch.

9:30 - Jimin tries to flirt his way out of of JK’s interrogation, which JK says is for “setting fire to ARMY’s hearts with his smiling eyes.”

10:25 - After a brief interuption by “Captain” Suga, the interrogation starts having flirty vibes again, with JK smirking and making eye contact while Jimin acts bashful and speaks in a whispery voice. 

11:00 - JK holds a fake gun on JM as he starts his “Lie” dance, during which he directs finger hearts towards JK. The camera focuses on JM and, by the time it shows JK again, he’s lowered the gun and put his other hand over his heart. The on-screen text says “Detective Jeon’s heart is attacked.”

12:55 - JM and JK switch roles so JM is the detective. He hits JK over the head with a book. JK has basically no visible reaction, but JM has clearly flustered himself. 

Note: To explain my reasoning for these originally not being here - if you look at the other skits in this ep, they are all accusing each other of doing things to ARMY’s hearts and being weirdly flirty with each other. Like, this police station has some serious sexual harassment issues all around! That said, the vibes are unique with jikook and, upon rewatch, I came to agree with y’all that the above should’ve been included. 19:30 - Alternate version of the sketch where Jimin and JK have a dance battle that ends in both of them being put in the jail cell and told to dance.

BEHIND  0:58 - Jimin flirt-ily calls out "I'm bored; play with me, Detective" (presumably to JK since they're scene partners).  Note: Adults saying they "played" with each other is a common way to describe hanging out in Korean and doesn't necessarily have the sexual connotations it does in English. 

4:08 - Jimin stares at JK as he does squats

Ep 13 "The Spy Who Returned Part 1" (Ep: 4 / KM: 2)

The ones where they play games at an indoor water park

1:00 - Jimin does an exaggerated running motion and JK slaps him to make him stop, which JM finds funny

1:43 - JM has his arm around JK 

6:00 - JK jokingly(?) tells JM his wet hair looks cool

11:12 - JM calls JK their team's ace and they whisper about who he should call out from the other team 

Ep 14 "The Spy Who Returned Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

16:04 - JM jokingly hits JK for getting the answer super wrong and then they go down the waterslide together. (Note: I've seen some jikook-ers claim JK messed up on purpose so the game wouldn't end and he'd get to ride with Jimin, but I'm not sure there's actual evidence to support that theory.)

The moment that led to the picture below isn’t in the ep or the BEHIND, but I raised the episode’s KM score a full point for it

Ep 15 "The Spy Who Returned Part 3" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

TW for this ep: 5:14 - during the confessions game, Jin tells Jimin that whenever Jimin asks if he put on weight, Jin wants to say he looks like a pig. Jimin claims to not be upset after, but looks like he's going to cry and seems off for a while. Then, at 10:45, Jin reiterates that Jimin "got fat." Everyone laughs except JK, who widens his eyes and then starts chewing on his finger.  

6:37 - Despite being on the same team as JK, Jimin joins J-Hope's complaints about JK coming to their room uninvited, saying that JK often brushes his teeth in their room. He accuses JK of buying the exact same toothbrush as Jimin’s and complains that they can’t tell them a part. JK says it wasn't him and then there's a weird cut to sometime later when Jimin is sitting back down again...  Just prior to this, Jimin is looking unhappy as Hobi tells a story about JK seeing him naked, but it’s hard to tell if he’s reacting to that or feeling upset about Jin’s weight comments from the previous round. 

16:02 - Jimin defends Jungkook against accusations that he's the spy

BEHIND 4:30 - Jimin sits on Jungkook's lap and, when he leans over to try to get Jin to give him food, JK puts his hand on JM's hip to steady him

Ep 16 "Snowpark Winter Olympics" (Ep: 4 / KM: 1)

The one where everyone plays winter games 

4:35 - When JM and JK are the finalists for the sledding round, JM thanks the viewers for their support. JK asks "what does that make me?" and yells/sings badly, which makes JM laugh. I don’t quite get it, tbh, but they seem to be enjoying themselves

14:50 - JK helps JM get his sled in place

BEHIND 3:02 - JK smiles as he gets pushed towards JM on the ice 

Ep 17 "Arcade Olympics Part 1" (Ep: 2 / JK: 2)

The ones where we are reminded that playing arcade games is more fun than watching people play them

All of this and next episode, whenever they all reshuffle positions, Jimin and Jungkook end up standing next to each other. This happens pretty frequently in Run BTS generally, but it was particularly noticeable in this ep since it's not like they're on the same team or anything...

4:16 - When Jimin does a dramatic DDR finish, JK calls attention to it. JM turns to him and they lock eyes for a second

15:00 - JK cheers Jimin's name when it looks like he's going to win the basketball game 

BEHIND

3:36 - JK & JM play a 4D game together Also, JK has an interesting mark on his neck on his right side that does not appear to be there in the episode itself...

Ep 18 "Arcade Olympics Part 2" (Ep: 2 / JK: 1)

3:30 - JK tries (unsuccessfully) to coach Jimin on the driving game

3:45 - JK stands up for Jimin and says he's getting the hang of the game

14:36 - JM & JK laugh together at RM's failure

19:58 - It's not super clear, but it sounds like JK calls JM "Jiminie" at the end of his sentence

Ep 19 "Strike" (Ep: 2 / JK: 1)

The one where BTS go bowling together and end up bowing down to JK

4:47 - JK shares that he and Jimin used to bowl together

---

If there’s anything I’ve missed or that anyone has different interpretations of, I’d love to hear it. 

More episodes coming soon! 

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press/Gallery: Elizabeth Olsen Is Ready to Lead the MCU

An ambitious new Disney+ series might just give the strongest Avenger the happy ending she deserves.

  GALLERY LINKS

Studio Photoshoots > 2021 > Session 001

  ELLE: We can’t keep meeting Elizabeth Olsen like this. By “this,” I mean in the throes of catastrophe or bereavement, or, to put it plainly, when she’s an emotional wreck. In the 2018 Facebook Watch drama Sorry For Your Loss, Olsen assumes the role of Leigh Shaw, a young widow grappling with the unexpected loss of her husband and all the painful nuisances that come with death: the unbearable waves of sadness, the clichéd condolences, a grief support group that runs out of donuts. At one point, Leigh says through a cracked voice, “I’m just mad all the time.” It’s hard not to draw parallels to Olsen’s other angry character. After all, “mad” is exactly how 2015’s Avengers: Age of Ultron introduced us to Wanda Maximoff.

Defined by tragedy since her Marvel debut, Wanda (aka the Scarlet Witch) is an orphan with telekinetic powers. When not saving the world, she spends most of her time onscreen grieving the deaths of her parents, twin brother, or lover. Wanda’s never been allowed to fully exist outside the confines of her grief and anger, but with the launch of WandaVision—Marvel’s foray into serialized content for streaming—she may just be getting the happy ending she deserves.

Partly inspired by The Vision comic book, which follows synthezoid superhero Vision and his family as they move to the suburbs of Washington, D.C., the Disney+ series is an ode to the TV sitcoms we’ve come to love, with Wanda and Vision (Paul Bettany) basking in newlywed bliss—except Vision’s been very dead (killed twice, in fact) since the events of 2018’s Avengers: Infinity War. It’s unclear exactly how these starcrossed characters got to suburbia, but for now, it’s a delight to see the typically solemn duo sink their teeth into slapstick comedy.

“The show is like a blank slate for them,” Olsen tells me over Zoom, her light brown fringe a departure from Wanda’s red waves. The Scarlet Witch’s doleful glare is also long gone; in its place, Olsen’s eyes are wide with excitement. “Wanda and Vision’s journey to this point is a story of pure, innocent love and deep connection with another person,” she explains. “It was also very traumatizing. Tragedy has always been their story. In our show, we kind of wipe that clean and start fresh.”

But Wanda’s complicated past looms over WandaVision. Age of Ultron saw her and her twin brother, Pietro, initially opposing the Avengers (the siblings volunteered for a series of experiments with Hydra—a super evil organization within the MCU—after the deaths of their parents at the hands of Tony Stark’s Stark Industries) before switching sides to help save the Earth. The movie ends in victory for our superheroes, but yet another tragedy for Wanda when Pietro dies in battle. She finds comfort in the arms of Vision, an android created from the remains of Tony’s J.A.R.V.I.S. program, but even that bliss is short-lived. You see, Vision can only live with the help of the Mind Stone, which Mad Titan Thanos needs to take over the universe. In Infinity War, Vision asks Wanda to sacrifice him, and Wanda reluctantly agrees—but Thanos reverses time to gain control of the stone, killing the robot for a second time. Wanda’s pain is palpable: Imagine sacrificing the love of your life to save everyone else, just to watch him brought back to life and killed again—by the very villain you’re trying to defeat.

Though the thrill of playing a character with superhuman abilities is enticing for any actress, Olsen says it was Wanda’s internal battle with mental health that attracted her to the role in the first place. “[Joss Whedon] explained to me that Wanda Maximoff has always been this pillar of the struggle of mental health, from her pain and depression and traumatic experiences to how she completely alters the reality of the comics,” Olsen says of her early conversations with the Age of Ultron director. “The thing I held onto after reading the initial script was that she was not only powerful because of her abilities, but because of her emotions.”

In fact, MCU theorists would argue she’s one of, if not the, strongest Avenger. She can infiltrate the others’ minds to reveal their biggest fears (Age of Ultron). She can overpower Vision and send him plunging through several floors to break up a fight between warring superheroes (Avengers: Civil War). She can even bring Thanos to his knees, snapping his sword in half and forcibly removing his armor piece by piece (Infinity War).

Still, “they keep slapping her over the head with more grief,” Olsen quips.

As phase one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe began with the sound of clanging metal on May 2, 2008, phase four kicked off on January 15, 2021 with a kitschy 1950s sitcom theme: “She’s a magical gal in a small town locale / he’s a hubby who’s part machine / How will this duo fit in and pull through? Oh, by sharing a love / like you’ve never seen.”

With WandaVision, Marvel steers clear of the typical superhero trappings: no destructive battles at a Berlin airport or across the streets of New York City; no blonde-haired god time-traveling to other realms; no tree-like alien fight alongside a raccoon. Wandavision takes place after the events of Endgame in a fictional suburban town called Westview, and the biggest problem the newlyweds face in the show’s opening moments is creating a convincing backstory to get nosy neighbor Agnes (Kathryn Hahn) off their backs.

“They are just trying to fit in,” Olsen explains. “They’re trying to not be found out by their neighbors that they’re super-powered beings.” Now, if only we can figure out what the hell is actually going on. Olsen remains tight-lipped: “The reason it’s a sitcom shows itself later in the show,” she hints. “When Kevin [Feige] told me, it didn’t feel so bizarre. It felt like a great way to start our story.”

“With our show, you don’t know what the villain is, or if there is one at all.”

So, is Wanda stuck in the first stage of grief, denial? Has she altered reality as a coping mechanism for Vision’s death? Is she being held hostage by a terrorist organization (ahem, Hydra!)? One thing we do know is that someone is watching the couple and taking notes. At the end of episode 1, the camera pans out from a retro TV playing an episode of WandaVision (meta!) to show a hand jotting down notes. There’s a strange sword symbol on the notebook and a nearby control board, and in episode 2, the same sign appears on a toy helicopter lodged in the couple’s front yard. Later, when a mysterious beekeeper crawls out of the sewer on the couple’s street, the symbol is seen on the back of his suit. In its 20-plus movies, Marvel villains have always existed in plain sight. But with a new, less obvious darkness lurking at every turn, Wanda may have to return to her world-saving roots.

“Someone said to me when you watch any of these hero movies, you know when the villain’s about to show themselves, and you also have an idea of who the villain is,” Olsen says. “With our show, you don’t know what the villain is, or if there is one at all.” For now, WandaVision allows for glimmers of hope and optimism for Wanda and Vision, despite what darkness tries to threaten their happiness. “Wanda is trying to protect everything in her bubble, protect what she and Vision have and this experience,” Olsen says. “I think everything she does is in response to keeping things together.”

In addition to exploding the concept of the superhero onscreen, WandaVision toys with a different era of TV in each episode. The pilot takes viewers to the ‘50s with an episode filmed in front of a live studio audience, and Wanda dresses up in the quintessential housewife garb, not a hair out of place in her voluminous bob. By the time we click on episode 2, she trades in her apron and kitten heels for a more pared-down ‘60s look, while episode 3 gives a nod to the ‘70s, complete with a Brady Bunch-style staircase and a shag haircut for Vision.

While dressing up was the fun part, time-hopping through the eras required a lot of binge-watching old sitcoms to get the mannerisms down right. Olsen studied series like The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Brady Bunch, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and Bewitched to “understand the tones of each era” and get a grasp of how Wanda and Vision should act as a couple. (One of her favorite TV pairings was Jane Kaczmarek and Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle.) She was fascinated by the way female characters evolved through the decades: “You have to learn appropriate manners—what’s considered being polite or proper. That coincides with women’s voices changing,” she explains. “I enjoyed challenging myself to match the syntax and the lyricism. I live in a very chest-register kind of deep voice. I had to remember not to bring it up at certain moments.”

For so long, Wanda served as a supporting character to Marvel’s biggest names, and the formulaic mundanity of the major theatrical releases made it easy to get comfortable. WandaVision offered Olsen a much-needed challenge. “I’ve only been working for 10 years, but there is this feeling where you start to get comfortable,” she says. “WandaVision was the furthest thing from comfortable for me. It felt intimidating. The character is a completely different thing.”

And fans hoping for a little Marvel action won’t be disappointed. “We still live up to what Marvel does,” she promises. “We just tell the story in a completely different way. It’s a very emotional, female story and it’s a story they haven’t told yet for either of our characters.” Whatever your theory is, keep the cliché condolences to yourself. No one will be uttering, “Sorry for your loss” in Wanda’s world.

Press/Gallery: Elizabeth Olsen Is Ready to Lead the MCU was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[butchedyke]

how was cats. i need a FULL movie review

oh man. okay. i’m going to start by saying it was, to put it lightly, really bad. between the animation and jennifer hudson’s snot and jason derulo’s accent it was, from start to end, absolute garbage! i haven’t seen the stage musical so i don’t know how it compares but the entire time i was thinking “wow this would be so much better onstage” while my brain was gradually obliterated by whatever the fuck was happening onscreen.

stand-out moments:

jason derulo really did almost suck some toes. i also could not understand a single word he sang and i looked up videos of the rum tum tugger to see if that was just the character but no, it was just him. i don’t think he has an acting career ahead of him.

the cockroaches with faces were just as bad as everyone’s been saying

rebel wilson unzipped her skin twice with no explanation. the second time was a vital plot point.

she just unzipped her skin and there was more skin plus some clothes underneath and that almost made me start crying

what DID make me start crying was naked idris elba, which i’ve been thinking about nonstop for the past 3 hours

dude was completely naked i really thought i was gonna see idris elba dick for a few horrifying seconds

the entire cinema reacted. people were laughing. people were crying, multiple people loudly said “what the fuck”

none of the other cats’ fur was the same colour as their skin, and none of their bodies were so tightly contoured that you could see their actual body. unfortunately, idris elba did not get to experience this dignity.

this was the point where i actually started crying and i don’t think i’ve fully stopped.

i think enough has been said about the cat-human abominations against god but somehow that wasn’t the only animation crime

the cgi outside of the cat-human hybrids was terrible! during bustopher jones some cats pour some wine in james corden’s mouth and it didn’t even look vaguely realistic. victoria does some really impressive ballet (big kudos to francesca hayward!) but she does pointe and rather than just let her have ballet shoes for the scene, like they did with the random hip hop cats, they cgi-ed feet onto her which was done so poorly that it didn’t even look like she was touching the ground for half of it. ears clipped through hats. tails clipped through arms. there was better cgi in spy kids.

speaking of limbs, the hands. the feet were jarring enough, they had human feet with human toes but they were at least appropriately coloured, but they just straight up had their human hands.

there were multiple serious scenes with jennifer hudson that i couldn’t take seriously because she was just covered in snot thanks to crying every time she was onscreen

the alternating between cat attributes and human attributes was really disturbing. they had human hands but ian mckellen licked water out of a bowl. they alternated between walking on two and four legs but at one point jennifer hudson just dropped to the ground and crawled away like a baby. i thought judi dench was about to kiss mr mistoffelees at one point

some plot points are just never explained like. at all. i went in knowing a little bit about the plot but i didn’t know the cats could do magic and it’s never explained!

sometimes idris elba just turns cats into dust! mr mistoffelees makes shit float! idris elba teleports! he’s naked and teleporting and it’s never actually explained!

judi dench sings at the camera for like 5 minutes at the end while three of the other cats react to what she’s saying and it activated my fight or flight response. i couldn’t hold eye contact

i don’t know why DAME judi dench and SIR ian mckellen did this to themselves. idris elba too. i have too much respect for them and i can’t reconcile that in my brain

despite being a main character, munkustrap’s name is not mentioned once and it wasn’t until i was looking into the stage musical to see if i was right and it’s better that i found out what his name was. before that i was just calling him “the MAIN CHARACTER without a NAME” to my girlfriend, who also saw it with me

the people sitting in front of us were very clearly experiencing the same emotions that we were

people clapped when it finished, and not in a good way. everyone around us was either in a state of shock or loudly asking what the fuck that was and why it was so bad

jennifer hudson being sent away in an unexplained hot air balloon to go perish in the sun is exactly how i felt at the end of the film

all of that being said, it wasn’t entirely horrid. it doesn’t translate well at all from stage to screen and making it like a regular hollywood film rather than a pro-shot type thing was bound to go poorly from the start because it doesn’t seem like the sort of musical you can do that with, unlike stuff like les mis or hairspray.

there were a handful of scenes that were okay onscreen:

mungojerrie and rumpleteazer, other than the bit with the cutlery from the trailer, was fun and really well performed

 skimbleshanks’ song absolutely slapped and the dancing was impressive even if it suffered from cgi once again. also skimbleshanks was like. bizarrely sexy. and once again that was a tom hooper choice and not from the original musical so i have no clue where that came from

mr mistoffelees was good! he was by far the least bad looking of the characters and his song was entertaining!

the non-stunt cast performers were impressive and i’m sad they wasted their talents in this piece of shit film

all in all i don’t think i could watch it again without getting very, very drunk. i personally am banning tom hooper from making any more musical movies until he repents for his sins. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[heroesandmasterminds]

@raayllum 's Book One: Moon Appreciation Week

I'm rewatching an episode a day in the countdown to the novelisation and today is S1 E1, Echoes of Thunder! (Ignore the strange formatting of the picture)

The opening of the entire series really does remind me of ATLA in the best way!

The fact that it is Aaravos (WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE VOICED BY KOH THE FACE-STEALER) narrating so when we come back and rewatch it we recognise his voice instantly (and it leaves us with more questions about what his role was in these events) makes me so happy every time.

Every time, I admire how the scene with Sol Regem and Ziard was foreshadowed, but in a way that was biased against humans to fit the show's theme of uncovering black and white ideals to reveal grey reality underneath. When we watch the full confrontation at the start of S3, of course, it's clear that it was not as simple as humans doing evil deeds with evil magic because they are evil, but for now we are presented with a rigid worldview that we must learn to challenge like the characters do.

We see the egg in the introduction so we know what it is straight away when Ez reveals it, which is a nice touch.

Instantly, we are shown that Callum's worldview is not as jaded as the others we're about to see because the first thing we see him doing is drawing something where the dragon is the hero. That also sets up his statement to Harrow in the next episode - 'There has to be a way to make it right' - and Harrow's own 'A child is freer than a king'.

We get a lovely sense of Callum and Ezran's dynamic right from the beginning as well as Callum's art skills. Callum making it clear to Ez how much he cares for him in his opening scene is something that will continue to define him, but it's especially important considering their dynamic for the next few episodes. Callum doesn't get to show his love for Ezran to his face after that, at least until they leave the castle, because he shouts at him and then doesn't see him again until they're running from and then with Rayla. All we get to see is him offering to die for Ez (which is huge in itself and definitely something I'll mention tomorrow) but Ezran himself doesn't see it although it's made clear to the audience later that Callum definitely makes sure Ezran knows how much he loves him.

We find out Callum, Ezran and even Bait's and Viren's (as well as his title) names right away but not Rayla's. King Harrow is, in fact, introduced twice before appearing onscreen. Everyone who lives in the palace has opening scenes which speak volumes about them. Rayla's does too, but in a different way that leaves just as many questions to be answered as we had going into the scene. It preserves the air of mystery about her as a supposedly-but-seemingly-not antagonist. (Meta on that coming soon, hopefully!)

Amaya appears briefly in the opening if you look for her (she's the only one of our main characters there, despite, for S1 at least, being the only one not introduced within the first episode).

Actually, it's masterful storytelling, now I come to think of it, how humans are introduced as the bad guys, the ones so evil they had to be shunted over to the other side of the continent, but the first episode focuses on building an image of human lives, making you feel sympathy for them and painting the elves as the enemies. Painting them as vicious murderers coming to destroy the peace they have in the castle and rip a family apart.

Rayla is someone who we see spare a guy and fake blood for approval before we ever find out her name - sort of like she is a 'Who is this girl?' whereas the others are 'What will you be like?'

They set up Ezran as the ray of sunshine so early on - everyone is worried about assassins and Rayla is pretending to have killed someone, and he's stealing jelly tarts and being comically brazen about it too.

Foreshadowing of sunfire forging capabilities and sunforge blades when Soren talks about armour forged by sunfire elves.

The first time I saw the show when Claudia was introduced reading and almost walking into a tree I thought she was so me. Then I realised she was a dark mage with questionable morals (that's the least in-depth way I could possibly put it) and forgot all about being like Claudia.

We get a slight hint of her dark side when she says 'He deserves it' in reference to Soren being 'stabbed'. It's in her expression, which is just slightly too intense to feel genuinely playful.

I like how Runaan is shown to be stoic but reassuring and it's clear that he is not unkind to Rayla, that he is a fair and firm leader, before everything he says to her in the next couple of episodes.

We know how deadly moonshadow elves are before they even say it outright. We learn Katolis has fought off many assassins, but when Harrow hears they are moonshadow elves he pretty much gives up hope of beating them in combat straight away.

Characters and dynamics are introduced seamlessly - we have a basic understanding of who each important character within the palace is and how they are related to each other pretty quickly, as well as some fundamental tenets of their characters such as Callum's failure to master swordfighting but impressive artistic ability and how he fits awkwardly into the royal family; Ezran's happy, almost carefree approach to life and easy relationship with his father; Viren's closeness to Harrow and high position of power but secretive and even cold nature. Even with Rayla, although we don't understand much of her motivations or what makes her tick, we know she is not a cold-blooded killer and has compassion and empathy. She is merciful and does not want to disappoint Runaan, believes in her mission and struggles to admit failure or hard truths.

There is an early illustration of how Soren is the brawn and Callum is the brains (like in the final battle 27 episodes later) with the 3/4, 5/6 comment.

I didn't notice it before this time, but Callum sheds his jacket in order to wear the armour, attempts to be a real prince but gets nowhere. At the end of the series he shreds his jacket without planning to and helps win a war while stepping comfortably into the role of a prince.

Callum's anger at Ezran is contrasted with his comfort in the opening scene, but you know he loves him because he displays instant regret (and soon apologises in the next episode). This also sets up his arc during S2 in which he doesn't want to tell Ezran the truth about Harrow's death for fear of hurting him again.

I just noticed they set up Soren's tenuous relationship with magic this episode - he mocks the moon moth and doesn't seem to set much store in it. This is like his reactions to Claudia's tracking spell and all the two of them have to do in order to accomplish it.

The sketch of Ethari in the end credits gets me every single time! Now that we know how this mission will end it's impossible not to feel like crying.

I adore the lighthearted Rayla in the credits sketch contrasting with the serious girl we see all episode. It tells us there's much more to her and that we haven't even scratched the surface.

I have to admit, I did just rewatch this episode 10 days ago so it's not quite as powerful an experience as it will be when I inevitably return to it after a long absence from watching TDP. That will probably be 6 months from now or something and it'll hit me right in the feels and I'll be crying because it was so different back then at the beginning of the series and I've missed these people so much and they're all so amazing!

[saltwatersweets]

bnha characters watch bnha

so because i’m a simple slut with simple tastes, we’re going with a bnha au where a good amount of characters are transported to a room and cannot leave until they have watched all of my hero academia. the characters’ memories are somewhere between season 2 and season 3. chaos, screaming, unlikely understandings, friendships, and, most importantly, hijinks ensue. 

everyone decides to adopt young izuku, including the villains (well, specifically toga) 

people sliiiiightly judge bakugou for how much of a jerk to izuku he was before ua

“bro. telling people to jump off buildings is the farthest thing from manly.” “yeah yeah, i know shitty hair.”

he’s TRYING but also he’s a little shit

kirishima thinks it's incredibly manly how izuku ran into the fight with the sludge villain to save bakugou, and realizes that that's the boy he heard about all those months ago 

a few of 1-a is surprised that izuku was quirkless, but no one judges him for it 

people are enthralled with the "one for all" story, and shouto is a little disappointed his theory that izuku is all might's child did turn out to be false. though... his father hasn’t actually been shown yet, has he?

aizawa: *does anything that suggests he’s tired*

shinsou, every time, without fail: mood 

inko clutches izuku very tightly during the usj attack, as if to reassure herself he’ll be okay.

mineta: *does anything, ever*

literally everyone: ew

everyone laughs at “are you really all might’s secret love child or something?”, but laughs quickly turn into looks of worry when shouto explains exactly how he got his quirks. all might is horrified that his spot as the number one hero caused endeavor to “train” his children, and something akin to wavering disbelief flashes in hawks’ eyes

a lot of people try to reassure shinsou that his quirk is really cool and heroic and useful during and after his battle with izuku, while the villains glance among each other in interest. a useful quirk indeed.

kaminari: hey, don’t worry, with a face like that, you could get any villain talking to you in no time!

shinsou:

shinsou: did you just... flirt with me?

after “todoroki shouto: origin” happens, most of the people in the room begin booing endeavor when he shows up onscreen, and dabi decides hey, maybe these brats they’re supposed to attack in a few days aren’t so bad after all

on the opposite end of the spectrum, the room erupts into cheering and clapping when “it’s yours! your quirk, not his!” causes shouto to accept both sides of his power. does it matter they knew he’d use his left side eventually? not at all

a few people are very distraught over stain finding ingenium, even spinner to a lesser extent, since he’d never really thought of ingenium as too bad a “hero”. the students are quick to distract iida and move onto the next part of the story. it doesn’t do much, not really, but he appreciates it.

endeavor grumbles lightly about how shouto could have won the sports festival if he had used his left side during his fight with bakugou. no one pays him any mind.

there's a collective sigh of relief + cheering when izuku shows up to save iida from stain, even though they knew he'd be fine 

during the exams arc, all the students from 1-a cheer each other on, despite the fact that they know who passes and who doesn't

eri is surprised to find out that nezu was experimented on. he wasn’t cursed like she was, why did it happen to him?

the camp arc is filled with a lot of screaming, yelling, and panic, and everyone (even a few of the villains) are on the edge of their seats in fear when izuku is fighting muscular. inko and all might have about fifty heart attacks each 

as soon as the dabi onscreen uses his quirk, fuyumi is very startled because “but that’s- that’s touya’s quirk!”

dabi: shit

bakugou is confident that future him will be just fine while captured by the LoV, but he's actually pretty afraid of what exactly they want him for 

almost EVERYONE is cheering all might on when he's facing off against all for one, and a shared feeling of horror clouds the room when it's revealed that he must retire 

during the next episode, natsuo attempts to break the tension

“well, no matter what happens, dad’ll always be number two in my heart.”

it works. fuyumi just sighs, but even she smiles a bit

everyone groans in frustration when bakugou yells at those two actors during the license exams arc, and it continues when shouto and wind boy from the other school (forgot his name) are fighting. it’s like when you’re watching sports and your favorite team has suddenly lost their brains but there’s nothing you can do except yell at the tv in anger

bakusquad ABSOLUTELY hugs bakugou when "when i'm the one who killed all might!" is said on the screen.

“what is this” “affection” “gross. keep doing it whatever idc”

plenty of people are laughing when mirio- or well, mirio's face- makes his debut 

kaminari exclaims “is his quirk turning people into potatoes?” when tamaki is introduced

the only thing stopping toga from stabbing the overhaul on the screen as soon as he kills magne is mr. compress, and even then it's only because they don't know if the screen will repair itself 

everyone - and i mean EVERYONE, even the villains - adopts eri the second she shows up in season four 

“i’ve only known eri for two seconds but if anything happened to her i’d kill everyone in this room and then myself” “shigaraki eri is also in this room” “did i stutter?”

he’s a little confused, but he has the spirit

after the group finds out what exactly eri is going through, there's a collective boo whenever overhaul is onscreen (the same thing happened with endeavor during season two, but it stopped at around the middle of season three) 

as you can see, i do not like overhaul. also, he's not here bc idk how to write him 

same thing with all for one, and a few other minor/major characters. afo can eat his own teeth for all i care.

everyone, especially the big three, izuku, and all might, are horrified when mirio loses his quirk

worst of all, eri just won’t stop apologizing, and despite his hidden shock and dismay, mirio tells her it’s not her fault, and he will do it again if he has to. future him will never let her get hurt again, and neither will he

dabi & spinner gain a lot of respect for mirio & izuku, since they're what stain would call true heroes. maybe there's a way they can make a new society without those two having to die 

no, everyone was NOT crying when eri jumped into izuku's arms in infinte 100%, what are you talking about? 

screaming. SO MUCH SCREAMING when deku is fully at 100% 

okay, they gave up trying to hide their tears when nighteye died. tamaki and nejire hold a shocked mirio a little closer, and barely are enough to keep eri from bursting into tearful apologies again. jeez, why did this arc have to be so emotional? 

mina is absolutely not above cheering herself on while dancing. she’d do it again in a heartbeat

everyone is enthralled with how pretty jirou's voice is. also, momo's gay now? what? 

despite the fact that they're criminals, a lot of people are greatly saddened by gentle and la brava’s backstories, and make a mental note to never let themselves forget them

the hero too song is met with a lot of cheering, dancing, and attempted singing (mostly thanks to bakusquad), and is generally a pretty lighthearted moment for the group. even some of the teachers and villains get in on the fun, especially twice

the todoroki siblings are hit with the horrible fact that despite everything, they do not want their father to die. even then, though...

endeavor: *gets his scar* 

shouto: wow, that must suck. wonder what that's like? 

natsuo has never been more proud of his brother than he is in that moment, and dabi has to carefully stop himself from laughing

might make a separate post for them reacting to the movies? but only if i get enough people asking for it

bnha characters watch bnha

[fandom-will-be-my-fall]

Spill your heart out about Walter.

Okay so I basically got this question in what, January?? but I’m answering it now since I just rewatched the movie and have inspiration, sorry for the late reply Anon

Okay so, to start off this post with some keyboard smashing because that my primary go-to for expressing my emotions

sgklhfsgjksdlgdghkjlgjhOHUFLUSKHDGSLIDRGKJGKFSDHGlhjglksdhkglshglllllfa. knjcthxiudhusmnvsoidhéytbvonjyxclkkvbr. haeylicfvshdkgikc

HANDSOME BOY. HANDSOME. ‘NUFF SAID.

I could legit stare all day at his beautiful face… look at him. Enchanting sky blue eyes… fluffy, wavy brown hair, cute round cheeks, lovely smile… those hidden freckles that you can hardly spot and only in certain screenshots but nevertheless they’re there to raise the cuteness factor… ALSO HIS LASHES. MAYBE IT’S NATURAL?? MAYBE IT’S MAYBELLINE?? WE SHALL NEVER KNOW

Here you may be able to spot the freckles if you squint hard enough. I have 77 screenshots but this is the best example I could find.

Secondly… well, he’s a sticc. A short sticc at that (though still slightly taller than me bc I’m smol), but a sticc regardless! And that seems to be the most attractive cartoon body type for me. Don’t judge me, I just have a thing for twinks, I’m… twinksexual or whatever.

Look at him! He would fit through my doorcrack.

(Maaaybe the reason for me liking sticcs so much is partially the fact that I like the idea of a boyfriend I can protect and support, physically and emotionally. I’m mad at the universe for not letting me scoop him up in my arms bridal style and smooch the HECK outta him.)

I’ve encountered a few posts that claimed he’s got cake but, come on. That concept has canonically been proven to be false, even by Lance. This man is flat and you can pry this opinion off my cold, dead hands.

Speaking of hands! I like his big ol hands. Nice shape. They look soft. I wanna hold them.

According to a DVD commentary, and the visual facts, he has no shoulders whatsoever. Back in Venice Killian was able to restrain him effortlessly with only one foot on his chest, even as he kept struggling ans squirming and generally put in as much effort as he possibly could. Before then, he claimed the database was the first thing he has ever caught in his life.

Conclusion, our boi’s very much NOT athletic. Which makes sense for a scientist, braining all day and stuff, and because he probably barely even eats, or sleeps which are by the way both pretty concerning implications but anyway.

STOP BEATING UP THIS POOR FRAGILE LAD FOR GOD’S SAKE. Makes me want to protect him even more. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you get what I mean.

Now, on to the actual reason I’m so head over heels for him, a.k.a his personality.

He is one of the sweetest, kindest, purest boy characters I have ever seen in fiction, if not THE number one himself. (All my other cinnamon roll crushes are, or have been a villain at some point and WILL resort to violence if provoked.) Look at him, his pacifism… is unbreakable. He’s dead set on making the world a better place, by peaceful ways, and helping humanity. If that’s not a quality to be cherished then IDK what is.

And he’s just such a refreshing character. He likes pink, K-dramas, glitter, kittens, things that aren’t traditionally “masculine” (but is never made fun of those things in particular in the movie) and I love that. Nothing’s sexier than a man who’s, despite society’s shitty standards, openly and unashamedly himself!

His femininity is, if anything, just another turn-on. (This didn’t intend to sound sexual… but oh well.) I love his little hand gestures and mannerisms, dorky ramblings, the way he says “yep” popping the “p” at the end, all the small yet significant traits that were incorporated into his character. Bless you, SiD creators, bless you.

Have I said that he’s a genius?? Which is pretty obvious but c’mon, he graduated at 15!! He can modify human genes!! He successfully turned a man into a pigeon on the first try!! (The serum wasn’t the first prototype but we can assume he didn’t experiment on living humans with the previous ones.) And he’s still just 20!! Like what is that if not hella fucking impressive???!??

His inventions, to the untrained eye, may seem “stupid” or “childish” but alas! The observer couldn’t be more wrong! Because despite the odd designs and themes they’re all highly effective, as we have witnessed in the battle against Killian. And he is extremely creative for coming up with such ideas! Told you he’s brilliant!!

Which makes me all the sadder about how much they underappreciated him at the agency. In his words, nobody ever listened to him, or gave him a chance. They just left him and his “weird” ideas next to the men’s bathroom and called it a day. How could they be so blind? Didn’t they see the potential in his inventions? Oh well. Maybe I’m just being a smartass bc I have more knowledge, living outside that universe. But I’m totally right.

And I was honestly ready to throw hands with Lance for hurting the boi even further. (I’d stand no chance whatsoever, but still.)

Oh no baby please don’t cry.

He did cry in that scene though… you could see a tear rolling down his cheek and if it wasn’t for the machine beeping… He did have a pretty rough day afterall. But HEY, if we dwell on it too much the scene loses its comedic effect!! A guy gets sad over a stupid soap opera, har har har!! Now let’s move on, keep it fast and snappy for the kids, don’t let them overthink it!! Can’t have any emotional breakdowns onscreen. Keep it lighthearted y’know. Then let’s kill a random side character and have our dear protagonist almost die twice.

(Well jokes on you Blue Sky! I’m no kid, but a devoted fangirl who can and will overthink any material of my fictional faves at any given opportunity.)

You know what else I love about him though?? His love for animals!! And pigeons, especially Lovey!! He loves her so much, gives her gluten free breadcrumbs, nuzzles her, the first thing he does when he finds out Lance can talk to the pigeons is ask if she loves him too!! Like… That’s so pure and wholesome.

This here. THIS RIGHT HERE. BROTP forever.

(Not gonna lie, I used to be crazy for pigeons for like, an entire year or something. Not as in looking up all the facts there are about pigeons as I do nowadays with cartoons, but I’d feed them regularly and write my little observations on their behaviors. Did you know they sometimes scratch their neck with their leggies like dogs do?)

I think I’ve summed up mostly everything I love about this nerd. Oh wait, almost forgot the sass!! I love how sassy and smug he can be sometimes, in like, a really harmless way but it’s still a very nice characteristic.

Since I’ve ran out of coherent things to say, here’s an incomplete list of things I want to do to Walter Beckett. Put at the end of this post so those of you who were only here for the analysis part and not the selfshippy gushing don’t have to read further:

kiss he

like seriously

just kiss he a whole lot

cover his whole face in kisses

one kiss for each of his freckles. a finishing kiss onto the tip of his nose. then repeat the cycle

hug him. hug him like the world is ending. hug him so tight he can barely breathe

then ofc let go and apologize bc I would never hurt him on purpose

cuddle him

hold him close, let him lay his head on my chest

run my fingers through his hair

listen to his breathing

discover that he’s fallen asleep on me and smile fondly, then soon drift off to sleep myself so we can wake up entangled in eachother the next morning

fuck he

pin him to a wall and snog he

make him go cherry red

fluster he

compliment him. praise him. appreciate him. he’s a prince, a hero, an angel, a wonderful human being and he needs to know this

feed pigeons together

listen to his scientific ramblings and bird facts

write him love letters and give them to him. maybe read it aloud myself if I’m feeling brave so I can see his reaction in real time

serenade he

be the love of his life, and have him be mine

just… soft things, man

cook something for this malnourished sticc

make him small handmade gifts

they’re nothing like his gadgets but I tried

draw he

have him be my muse in general

not like he isn’t now but it would be lovely if he was real too

carry him bridal style

be the feral cryptid that lurks in his house when he isn’t around

sing along to cheesy pop-song together really badly

watch cheesy rom coms

flirt with eachother clumsily until we’re both laughing at our awkwardness

or, alternatively, shower him with compliments until he literally cannot handle it

have sleepovers together

give him hand kisses

be of emotional support

[supremeuppityone]

Written for Klaroline Valentine's Day Bingo 2020 @kcvalentinesbingo

Prompt: Casablanca

Author’s note: This was inspired by Ricky Gervais’ 2020 Golden Globes monologue, in which he thoroughly pissed me off.

Warning: Potential triggers; implied assault survivor

Please review here.

           Red. Everything was red. The rage sank into Caroline’s bones until nothing was left. From the uncomfortable murmurs of the rest of the audience, it was clear that she wasn’t the only one furious with Alaric Saltzman’s patronizing speech to open the Oscars ceremony.

           “If you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a political platform to make a political speech. You're in no position to lecture the public about anything, you know nothing about the real world. So, if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your God and fuck off.”

           There were so many things wrong with the washed-up comedian’s vile statement, that Caroline let out an audible gasp, not bothering to let her features settle back into a polite mask. Her agent was going to be pissed if the cameras happened to catch her now. But it was nothing compared to how pissed Katherine would be in a little while. As a nominated filmmaker, Caroline understood she was in a unique position to make a call for social change. And as one of the few female filmmaker nominees, it was her responsibility. She covertly took out her phone, typing a quick message to her staff, and then leaned back into her seat with a self-satisfied grin. Game on. ��

           Her documentary focused on Congolese women who were taking back their communities torn apart by sexual violence. It was her honor to give voice to the warrior women who had created safe spaces for women — teaching them self-defense, providing legal representation, and fostering marketable skills.

           She toyed with the orange and red bracelet, hiding a bittersweet smile as she recalled the way some of the women at the community center had attempted to teach her how to make the rolled-up paper beads. It was the day she shared her story with them. Her pain had been her own for so long. She’d nearly punched Katherine for telling her the bracelet clashed with her designer gown and that she should instead go with the loan from Bulgari.

           The back of Caroline’s neck prickled as though she could feel the weight of someone’s stare. Casually glancing around the packed theater, her blue eyes widened when she realized Klaus Mikaelson was staring at her. Wildly famous, the dimpled British actor’s mantle must be overflowing with prestigious Oscars, BAFTAs and Golden Globes. Why was he staring at her? Again. Despite years in the industry, this was the first awards season her work had garnered enough attention to warrant nominations. And unwanted attention from A-listers.

            A few months ago, she’d attended the Directors Guild Awards, slightly starstruck and still in disbelief that her work was finally getting recognition. She nervously was sipping champagne when someone insistently tapped her shoulder. Familiar with many of the more heinous Hollywood Gropers, she whirled around, ready to shred some wrinkled, self-entitled balls. She stopped short when she realized it was a skinny teenager who somehow managed to look even more nervous than she.

           “Um. Hi! So, um I think you’re Caroline Forbes. Right?”

           Caroline softened, assuming his painfully earnest demeanor meant he was an intern or one of the stage assistants. Her smile was gentle as she said, “Yes, I’m Caroline. What’s your name?”

           Brown eyes went round with excitement as he took both of her hands in his, wildly shaking them up and down as he gushed, “I’m Henrik and I go to USC and we just studied you in my Defining the Feminine Narrative class!”

           Flustered, she could feel an enormous smile spread across her face. It was rare that she encountered someone who knew who she was. Now what? Offering to sign something or pose for a photo sounded unbelievably pretentious. “Oh, wow. Thank you,” she finally said, “I had no idea.”

           “I’m actually um, doing a research paper right now on your documentary about dowry-related violence in India,” he shyly confessed, hiding behind his long brown hair.

           “Seriously?! I just started cataloguing some additional footage; trying to decide if there’s another story to tell. If you want to give me your email, I’d be happy to share my research with you. Maybe it will inspire you to create something amazing.”

           Before Henrik could respond, an unexpected voice interrupted, “Impressive chat-up lines, little brother.”

           Klaus stood there with his sexy dimpled grin that always spelled box office gold. And he’d been poured into that tuxedo. Damn. “Klaus Mikaelson,” he said, as though she hadn’t watched every movie he ever made, “and I had no idea Henrik was such a fan.” He put a companionable arm around the timid boy, telling her, “Henrik’s the true talent in the family. Thank you, love, for noticing.”

           He eyed her with interest, and she immediately reddened, cursing her painfully white skin for making every emotion so obvious. “These ceremonies are so frightfully dull. Would you like to join us at our table, and then perhaps later, you and I could go for a drink?”

           Damn it. He was one of those guys. Now flushed with irritation rather than embarrassment, Caroline replied, “You should ask Tatia. It’s only polite — since she’s your date.” Lately, the gossip sites had exploded with headlines gushing about the whirlwind romance between Klaus and the stunning supermodel, Tatia Petrova. Even if there was the chance it was a clever ruse to garner media attention, there was no way Caroline wanted any part of that nonsense.

           Klaus flashed that dimpled smirk again, his accented voice amused as he said, “Tatia is more of an...inconvenience than a permanent fixture in my life. There’s only so much frivolous chatter I can tolerate. But I suspect that you would provide endlessly fascinating conversation, sweetheart. You’re starting to make a name for yourself with all those exotic travels and penchant for saving the world. There’s a light that shines in you; it sets you apart from the rest.”

           He was seriously giving her the ‘you’re not like other girls’ speech. Dick. “Pass,” she said flatly, already starting to walk away. “But thanks for adding bad pickup lines to my ever-growing list of atrocities I need to save the world from.”

            Thunderous applause interrupted her thoughts, bringing her back to the present. Where Klaus was still staring at her rather than paying attention to the clip they were showing from his nominated performance. His performance in the Casablanca remake had earned him the Best Actor nomination, with critics and media outlets proclaiming his work in the big budget production to be a crowning achievement in his stellar career. Despite her indifference to the original 1940s movie, she still eagerly went to see Klaus’ remake, and his performance as the expat Rick had left her breathless. His American accent had been impeccable, and she actually got a bit teary-eyed when he arranged for his onscreen love interest, Lisa, to board the plane to safety while he stayed behind.

           Caroline could feel the heat rising in her cheeks the longer Klaus stared at her, irritated at herself for paying far too much attention to the gossip sites that announced Klaus’ amicable split almost immediately following their disastrous first encounter. She did not have time for Hollywood fuckboys. Even the ones with dimples. She had a world to save. Lost in her thoughts of burying her stupid crush on Klaus, she completely missed that he’d apparently won and was being herded offstage.

           She leaned forward eagerly as her documentary category was called. Regardless of the winner, her documentary had garnered enough attention that a few months ago, she’d learned an anonymous donation singlehandedly funded the Congolese women’s charity for the next decade. It was rare that people surprised her. Maybe one day she’d learn the identity of the generous donor. While the vignettes played for each nominee, her heart giving a funny little tweak as she held her breath in anticipation.

           “And the winner for best documentary feature is...Conflicted Hearts: Congolese Women Fight Back, by Caroline Forbes!”

           The thunderous applause was deafening, and Caroline sat there in shock for several moments, unable to get her legs to move. When she finally managed to walk to the stage on shaky legs, she fervently hoped she hadn’t sweated through her Arcadius original. She cringed as Alaric grabbed her hand, pulling her toward him for a congratulatory kiss that she managed to avoid by jerking her head away. He should know better. Hazel eyes flashed as he angrily hissed, “Just smile for the camera and keep the whole ‘boohoo women bitching about a little flirting’ bullshit out of it. No one cares about your whiny politics.”

           She burned him with her gaze, the oranges and reds of her gown a perfect backdrop for her fiery rage. Not bothering to respond to his unspoken threat, she stepped to the podium, pleased to be bathed in the stage lights, drawing energy from their warmth. “I’ve now been told twice tonight not to get political. It’s stupid to think I’m going to start following orders now. We’re some of the most fortunate people in the world. We have an extraordinary platform that allows us to reach millions. And it’s our responsibility to use it. We live in this world too and we should be working just as hard as anyone to make it better.”

           The loud clapping sounded like vindication, and she hoped that the cameras were zooming in on Alaric’s face as it immediately purpled in anger. “My film is dedicated to the Congolese women who let me into their world, whose unparalleled strength gave me the courage to put into words my own trauma. They are warriors, and I hope that the anonymous donor who helped fund their women’s charity for the next decade understands the hope they’ve given to so many.”

           Her smile was a vicious blade as she announced, “Thriving in front of my bullies is sometimes the whole reason why I get out of bed. I just started a charity tonight because I know I can’t be the only woman who’s been told to keep ‘boohoo women bitching about a little flirting bullshit out of it’. My organization will help women speak out about sexual harassment and assault in the workplace, providing much-needed legal assistance and support to help them overcome the personal and professional consequences that make it difficult to speak out. It’s called ‘CARE’.”

           The standing ovation was immensely satisfying, but then she added, “And it stands for Condescending Asshats Refuse to Evolve’,” which had the theater shouting her name excitedly. Not a bad night.

           As Caroline was ushered backstage, she basked as so many warm smiles and enthusiastic handshakes congratulated her, pausing only once to catch Alaric’s furious expression. She held his gaze just as fiercely, pouring out every viscous word she wasn’t ready to speak. But one day she would be.

           Backstage, she nearly ran over Klaus. Flushed from his own win, he beamed at her while offering her a steadying hand. “Congratulations, love. Your win was well-deserved, and I don’t recall a more compelling speech. You’ve set a precedent tonight that undoubtedly will bring about much-needed change.”

           She blushed to the roots of her hair, wishing she hadn’t worn the intricately plaited hairstyle so she could give her hands something to do. “Uh, thanks, and you too. Your work in Casablanca was amazing.”

           “You saw my movie?”

           Caroline was taken aback by his hopeful, pleased tone. “I’ve seen all of your movies. Everyone has.”

           “I’ve seen yours too,” he confessed, ducking his head shyly. “Henrik is quite the fan and has all of your documentaries — even the one you created fresh out of film school where you exposed the hypocrisy of a ‘morality clause’ for beauty pageant contestants in your hometown.”  

           “Seriously?!” She gaped at him, unsure of what to say. She hadn’t thought about that in years. That documentary had gotten the attention of several groups, which eventually led to funding for bigger projects and more exposure to the causes that she was the most passionate about. “I had no idea that you’d...I mean, I’m flattered you took the time to watch my films.”  

           The tips of his ears reddened as Klaus replied, “Meeting you was a bit of a revelation for me. Your drive, your fearlessness at giving people a platform so their voices and stories can be told — it’s inspiring. It made me want to make some changes in my life, which I started doing several months ago.”

           “I had no idea. I’m, uh, glad to have helped. Can I ask about the changes?”

           “Maybe someday I’ll tell you,” he answered enigmatically. “In the meantime, I’d be honored if you would accept my donation to your CARE charity. I’m doing my best to be a reformed condescending asshat.”  

[pxiao]

Reasons I’m glad V///R is dead and gone forever

So V//R is dead and cancelled and my only reaction is FINALLY. Since VR is gone and we can finish forgetting the forgettable show and get rid of all our salt. You’re free to add to the post but there are rules. 

1. DO NOT TAG IT SO THE FANS CAN SEE. As much as I hate the show and the fandom even they don’t deserve to see people bashing the show in their tag. 

2. Don’t write the name of the show or the characters. Use /// or ---- in the character’s name like Yu///saku so the tumblr search can’t pull them up

ok good? Good. 

Everyone but Yu///saku is worthless. 

Seriously when have any of the characters actually progressed the story? Potentially only SB have done anything truly worthwhile. Everyone else was just to die to build tension for Yu//saku. And if you’re asking for RE///volver. OHHH I have a section just for him, don’t you worry.

Sto//rm Acc/ess aka Yu//saku is such a shitty duelist that the MINORITY of his duels has him not cheating. 

SERIOUSLY it’s written that Yu//saku can get a random extra deck monster with his skill BUT the issue is despite it being “random” Yu//saku ALWAYS gets the monster he needs to win. NOT ONCE IN THE 100+ EPISODE HAS HE GOTTEN A USELESS CARD. ALWAYS THE ONE HE NEEDS. Totally doesn’t seem like plot armor. And you know it wouldn’t be as big of an issue IF HE DIDN’T USE IT FOR EVERY SPE///ED DUEL!!!!!!!! For a character that the show likes to say is “invincible” he sure isn’t good enough to win with the deck he built. It got ridiculous with his duel with G/oo in season 2 where G//o countered his skill BUT A//i revealed it had a secondary effect that let him draw a card AND still get a new extra deck monster. 

Plot twists: 

They fall into two camps, “we already knew you dumbasses” or “THE HELL WERE YOU GUYS SMOKING!” Essentially the twists are obvious like A///i was based off of Yu//saku’s data as why wouldn’t he be. Or the dumb ones like Spec///tre beating A///oi or somehow Spec//tre had CONSCIOUS TREE AS A MOTHER. There have been a few twists that I can count that surprised me but they lead to other twists that fall back into stupid.  

the “Plot” just plain doesn’t exist.

 It’s just things happening with some connecting plot lines BUT they rarely lead into each other. Light///ning revealed that his plan was happening THE EXACT SAME TIME as season 1′s finale. A//i being the villain is more due to Light//ning’s simulation somehow proving that A///i will destroy humanity than the fact that A/i’s the only Ig//nis left. And each season’s arc has no connecting plot either. Season 1 can be broken down to Yu//saku gets A//i which has him meet the “main cast” and then Yu///saku go to S//OL for info that was TOTALLY pointless. Which is isolated from Re//volver setting a virus that traps you on the internet which leads to Re//volver learning Yusa//ku’s face AND MEETING HIM but does jack shit with that info. And then Re///volver’s final plan happens that was based on timing than anything else. 

Does that seem disjointed? YEP because there is no narrative at all, things are just happening. There is a vague connection at best but none of the characters’ actions actually affect how the story goes. THE FRUSTRATING PART IS THEY SET UP MOMENTS WHERE THEY COULD HAVE BUT THEY DIDN’T. SEASON 2 AND 3 IS THE SAME THINGS JUST HAPPEN AND THEN YU//SAKU HAS TO SAVE THE FUCKING DAY. V/R has no rhyme or reason why things happen, they just do and let me tell you, that’s fucking boring.

The Yu//saku praise

 My fucking god. Look the protagonist getting praised isn’t new, it happens with each series BUT the issue is the volume that Yu//saku gets and how early he gets it. Most protagonists have to wait till at least the second series before the population love them. Yu///saku got it by the THIRD EPISODE. BY. BEAT. A. MOOK. He was called a hero, people were saying he was hot, people were copying his avatar. AND IT NEVER STOPPED. EVERY OTHER EPISODE HAS SOMEONE SAY HE’S AMAZING, STRONG AND SOOO IMPORTANT. 

An A//oi episode in season 1 has a less than five minute section just to show that a kid HERO WORSHIPS YU//SAKU AND WAS IT. The kid appears with an avatar based on PM, PM saves him and tells the kid to trust him to save and then the kid logs out. AND THIS HAPPENS CONSTANTLY. “YU//SAKU IS INVINCIBLE”, “YU//SAKU IS MY HERO!”, “EVERYONE DEPENDS ON YOU YU//SAKU”. IT’S BEEN AN ENTIRE SHOW OF PEOPLE SINGING YU///SAKU’S PRAISES AND THE WORST PART OF IT IS, HE DESERVES NONE OF IT.

The setting. 

Let me ask ... THE FUCK IS IT. What even is Link Vr//ains? Is it a game, a site, a program? WHY IS IT ONLY IN DE///N CITY? WHY IS DESTROYING IT WILL LEAD TO THE ENTIRE INTERNET CRASHING???????? Link Vr///ains is something that NEEDS to be explained but the show NEVER DOES. HELL IT NEVER EVEN TRIES. 

The girls

Jesus christ ... the girls are .... just sad. A///oi ... my fucking god A//oi. A///oi’s personality starts and ends with “onii-sama”. NEARLY EVERY MOTIVE OF HER’S IS I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FOR MY STEPBROTHER. Everything else is a passing fancy. Mi///yu? Yeah nice motivation but that’s why her two duels as BM in season 2 is more about her relationship with Ak//ira than her “friend”. 

Em//ma’s backstory was absorbed into BS’ despite the fact he was a new addition when Em//ma was around since season 1. 

Vir//ya is just a bit character meant to fill out the remain KOH, since their return in season 2, she haven’t done anything of value. 

Qu///een ... why is she there? I mean she appeared in a Bikini ... in virtual reality. seriously there is no point in that shit, and then did nothing besides watch over Ear//th’s death and then lost to A//i when her skill was named honey trap. 

Mi////yu is so unimportant we haven’t gotten a scene of her out of flashback despite being a lost chi//ld.   

Back to A//oi, it’s not even that A//oi isn’t important,sadly that’s not uncommon in YGO, it’s the fact EACH TIME SHE TRIES TO DO SOMETHING, THE SHOW PUNISHES HER FOR IT. She tries to be a symbol for people, it’s stupid why she trying but still, Spec///tre reveals he was toying with her the entire time and she had no chance. She tries to get stronger in season 2, SB beats cause she doesn’t have an Ig//nis and then she does nothing for half the season. She tries to save her “childhood friend”, Bow//man beats her and takes her consciousness so Yu//saku has to save her ... again. She tries to protected Ak//ira, A//i beats them and only takes A//oi to taunt her over her failure. THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SHOW, ANYTIME A//OI TRIES TO DO ANYTHING, THE SHOW BEAT HER UP AS IF TO SAY, YOU SHOULDN’T DO ANYTHING EVER. Great message there. 

Simulations

You know as people there are plenty of reasons that conflict starts, greed, hate, anger, lust, desperation to survive, hunger. And how does conflict start in V/r? FUCKING SIMULATIONS. EVERY SINGLE CONFLICT IN THIS SHOW IS BECAUSE OF A SIMULATION. K//OH are a thing cause Kog///ami did a simulation that showed that the Ig//nis are learning TOO FAST AND WILL CAUSE THE END OF HUMANITY. Ligh///tning turned evil because he learned no matter what he can NEVER BE FRIENDS WITH HUMANITY CAUSE OF A SIMULATION. A///i turning “evil” because he’s doom to end the world cause of you guessed it a SIMULATION. Simulations are just tools and are NEVER THE FINAL RESULT. There are too many variables to truly make an 100% accurate simulation BUT HERE THEY ACT AS IF SIMULATIONS ARE A FUCKING GOSPEL. IT’S STUPID AND INCREDIBLY LAZY THAT THE CAUSE OF ALL the conflict in this show is because of independent simulations.  

Mental illness

As a person with a mental illness and went to therapy I can say this, VR doesn’t deserve any brown points for covering mental illness. If anything VR touching mentally illness takes points away. I have already said my piece on how poorly VR tackles mental illness. But my take away is this when it comes to mental illness VR is a absolutely horrible.

Rev///ovler

Re//voler is in all honestly a shitty character despite what his fans think. He’s an asshole that has no drive of his own. He admit he does this all BECAUSE OF HIS DAD. The one time he did do something of his own accord, turn his dad in, he later regretted so much that he refuses to do it again. LOOK I can understand missing your father despite the fact he’s trash, human relationships are complex BUT RE///VOLVER BEING “FATHER I WILL NEVER EVER GO AGAINST YOU AGAIN DESPITE THE FACT YOU KIDNAPPED KIDS AND THEN TORTURED THEM BECAUSE YOU FELT SAD HUMAN WILL EVENTUALLY GO EXTINCT ONLY TO TURN ON YOUR CREATIONS” IS FUCKING STUPID. And then he goes the EXTRA MILE OF ASS and says to Yu//saku’s face that he REGRETS SAVING HIS LIFE TWICE. And he never apologized either. 

Also his “development” is forced as shit, Revo//lver never develops onscreen or shows signs of changing, just the show and characters say OH YES RE//VOLVER CHANGED.... IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.  Honestly after his return in season 2 where he showed he DIDN’T CHANGE, then he tries to help Hom//ura despite telling Yu//saku he regrets saving him. WHY THE CHANGE. HE HAS SEEN NOTHING THAT MADE HE FEEL SYMPATHY FOR THE LOST KI//DS. BUT HE’S ALL OF A SUDDEN KIND TO HO///MURA. AND THEN AFTER HE LOSES TO LIGH//TNING AND SAY’S A/I NAME, ONLY TO SNAP BACK IN SEASON 3 AND WANTS TO KILL A///I. What I’m saying is, he has no real character development, you can tell what the show WANTED him to become but my god they were too lazy to actually show him changing. 

Yu//saku

OH BOY this is going to be long. Yu//saku is by far the WORST WRITTEN PROTAGONIST IN YGO HISTORY.  He has no personality and no real background besides HE WAS TORTURED, POOR HIM!!!!! Seriously what was his life like before the Lo//st Incident. What did he like to do, did he have friends, where the fuck are his parents. There is no information about him, past or present. Like his current “personality”, WHAT IS IT besides he’s stoic/emotionless. He’s not nice or even mean anymore. He has no likes or even dislikes. All we know is he’s determined ... and that’s it. Yu//saku is a blank slate for the viewers to project on. Yu//saku is honestly NOTHING. 

Honestly, Yu///saku isn’t strong as he cheats the MAJORITY of his duels, he isn’t smart as rarely does he do anything that’s smart, wanting to brutal force the solution and he doesn’t follow his own advice. 

Yu//saku: Bonds are important and the only thing that are absolutes

Yu//saku then fucks off for 3 MONTHS NOT TELLING ANYONE

And like Re//volver, his “development” is forced as hell. He just says things that make no sense for him to say. Yu//saku shouldn’t say revenge doesn’t help WHEN IT OBVIOUSLY DID. The show was supporting him and he got the guy that kidnapped him killed and then he got better. HELL JI//N WAS SAID TO GET BETTER ONCE THE K//OH WERE BEAT.