#despite being very sick things are going pretty okay and i can definitely feel/be happy

[greghatecrimes]

I guess I feel kinda chatty since I haven't many chances to post on here in a little while (besides just screencaps and reblogs.) I have a lot of thoughts but unfortunately not enough spoons to get them all written down asap. A lot of them are about Amber-- I've been rotating her and Thirteen as inverses in my brain. She is so under-appreciated. A lot of thoughts re: 'House' and its portrayal of disability and chronic illness, too. Something something this show has been so important to me while being sick/dealing with this chronic illness, and I love it even more now.

[salty-croissants]

what if Y/N was sick and Rayman/Ramon or Bullfrog take care of him/her? How could it be?

Thank you for the request ! 

I’m always happy whenever I get the chance to write the boys taking care of the reader :,) ❤️

Plus it’s pretty neat to complete this scenario since I wrote one where the reader takes care of them when they’re sick , very cool stuff ! 

Anyway , hope this turned out okay ! 

Details : use of gender neutral reader ; 

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed 

Bullfrog 💚

No matter how unnecessary you may think it is , Bullfrog will make sure that you get some rest for the rest of the day , and there is no way to convince him to let you keep working on what you were currently doing .

< Please , just a few more minutes … I need to get this done … > 

< I’m sorry mon amour , but I can’t let you do that . 

You haven’t been looking too good today , it really would be best for you to take a break . 

You can get back to it after you’ve recovered a bit , alright ? > 

< Heh … alright , thank you ~ > 

He is then going to fetch you everything you may need to feel as warm and comfortable as possible , almost materializing next to you out of thin air with blankets and drinks while constantly checking if you’re okay …

Bullfrog really does take his duty to take care of his beloved very , very seriously .

< Are you sure you’re comfortable like this , my dear ? Maybe I should bring you some more blankets , or - > 

< *chuckle* you’re always so sweet ~ I’m fine Bullfrog , don’t worry too much about me … > 

If he has no missions that day , Bullfrog will be more than happy to lay down next to you and spend some time together .

And if you get worried about him being so close to you when you’re sick ? Well , he’ll quickly ease you out of it …

< Are you sure this is okay ? What if I get you sick too ? I don’t want to - > 

< Trust me mon cher , I’m going to be just fine … all I want you to think about is relaxing and taking care of yourself . That’s all I need . > 

When you eventually start to fall asleep , Bullfrog loves to snuggle closer to you and hold you in his arms , his fingers tracing your back with a gentle motion while smiling lovingly in front of your beautiful face …

Every moment this frog gets to spend with you is wonderful , even just staying quietly by your side while you recover from being sick .

He’d then lean closer to leave a kiss on your cheek , whispering one last thing in your ear  before allowing his eyes to close as well …

< Good night , mon beau y/n … 

Je t'aime ~ > 

Rayman 🧡

Since you’re usually the one taking care of his health ( this man does tend to overwork himself to the point of exhaustion ) , believe me when I say that Rayman is determined to do all he can to help you now that you’re the one being sick :

you’re the one person that’s given him nothing but love and support despite his appearance , after all … making sure that you’re okay is top priority for Eden’s voice .

Similarly to Bullfrog , Rayman is going to make sure that you have everything you need to help you feel comfortable while you recover , giving you full access to all the comforts of his lounge : 

as his partner , he wants you to receive only the best from him .

< Are you sure you got enough pillows ? > 

< Mhm , these are so soft … I love them ! Thanks Ray ! > 

< Heh , anything for you darling ~ > 

If you’re having trouble to fall asleep I can definitely see Rayman sitting beside you and comforting you with his pretty singing voice …

The sight of you relaxing in his arms while he does this never fails to make his heart skip a beat , and he honestly couldn’t see himself feel this happy with anyone other than you ://)

Eventually though he has to return to take care of business related things , since the Board of Directors barely leaves him chances to breathe , and whenever that happens Rayman can’t help but feel really guilty at the thought of leaving you alone while you’re still sick … 

Though he’ll leave a kiss on your forehead before going out , as well as a note for you to read when you wake up .

“Sorry , had to leave for work …

Please take it easy for the rest

of the day honey , and if you need

something just call me and I’ll do 

all I can to be back as soon as possible ! 

I’ll see you later , I love you ! <3” 

Ramon 🖤

The second he notices that you’re not feeling well , Ramon is very quick to act : 

he just picks you up , no matter what you might’ve been doing , carrying you to the bedroom bridal style without getting even slightly phased by your attempts to not worry about you .

< I’m okay , really , you don’t have t - > 

< Nah , I think I do have to . 

Now come on , you need to lay down . > 

He definitely remains by your side the whole time , not only to be there for you now that you’re sick , but also to make sure that you don’t try to sneak out of the room to keep taking care of other matters …

Trust me when I say that you simply won’t be able to move an inch without Ramon noticing . 

< y/n , I see you over there … get back to bed . Now . > 

< Aww … I thought I had it this time … but really , this is nothing ! You don’t have to worry so much about me … > 

< I want to , love … I want to take care of you the same way you’ve always taken care of me . You’re not bothering me , you … heh , you never do . > 

If you feel like cuddling before getting some sleep , Ramon will be more than happy to oblige : 

he loves having you snuggled close , your warmth and the sound of your heartbeat taking away all of his worries for the time being while he peppers your face with kisses , smiling at your giggles …

The prospective of him getting sick as well doesn’t phase him : you never worried about that when taking care of him after all , so now this man is just determined to stay by your side regardless of the consequences , and no amount of attempts to convince him otherwise is going to work . 

< But what if you get sick too ? That would be bad ! > 

< Well , that means more chances to be this close to you … that doesn’t really sound bad , right darling ? ~ > 

< Pfft … ~ 

Alright , alright … just be careful , okay ? > 

< I will be . > 

Even when you eventually fall asleep , Ramon is going to stay awake , watching over you the whole time to prevent any possible surprises from any of Eden’s buddies : 

it’s not just his lingering fear to get caught , he simply can’t afford to lose you …

You’re all he has left , his only hope in that messed up world he’s living in , so he will protect you no matter what it takes . 

< Sleep well , y/n … I won’t let anyone hurt you , I promise . > 

[asexual-abomination]

How Platonic/Familial Yandere Overwatch characters react to you wanting/having a significant other

Howdy! In the wake of my switch not having enough storage to play Overwatch anymore, I’ve finally had the inspiration to write about it!

I definitely intend to write this scenario with other characters, these are just all the ones that I had immediate ideas for, send in an ask if you have a specific character you want in the next one!

As always, (but hopefully not for too much longer 🤞) I have no real academic or professional teaching in writing, so all criticism is welcomed

(Also just a side note for the familial bits - it can be taken as both biological or adopted)

How you enjoy reading!

YanDad!Soldier:76

Nah, not happening.

It's not that he wants to restrict your relationships with people outside of Overwatch, buuut...

If you ever want to bring someone home, he'll greet them warmly with a subtle demonstration of his military experience.

Like straight-up cleaning/putting together his pulse rifle or sharpening his combat knife or, if he can rope another member of the family into it, literally discussing violent battle plans as your potential partner walks in.

If someone is either oblivious enough to not notice or stupid enough to think they can survive your dad's threats, he's prepared to get his hands dirty.

He can and will hunt people down and very directly tell them to fuck off if they want to keep their legs if he doesn't consider them worthy of you.

(Hint: He doesn't think anyone's worthy of you)

The truth is, at the start, he might be a little more receptive to the idea but it won’t last

Even if your partner is the most perfect shining star of a lover ever to exist, he will find or concoct some misdeed and convince himself that they must be eliminated

In short; enjoy it while you can, it’s not gonna last as long as he has something to say about it

“Nah. Tell them you’re breaking up or I will. I’m not letting this scum around my child.”

YanDad!Lucio

He’s surprisingly okay with it!

All he ever wants is for his kiddo to be happy, and if this person makes you happy, then they’re good in his book!

That’s not to say that he won’t be… cautious, though

Can you blame him? This world is full of fucked up things and all he wants is to protect you from those

The idea of his baby being abused or manipulated hurts him deeply, so like a good father he… checks in on you

You went to a cafe? He’s sitting in the corner, wearing a hoodie to hide his face as he glances at you every few seconds

You’re going out to a club or concert? Aw, damn, one of the acts for the night had to call out sick, good thing THE Lucio was in town and willing to do a set for them

You’re going on a peaceful walk through nature? He just happened to be doing a little wildlife watching himself!

He won’t interfere with your dates, if he can help it you won’t even know about his presence most of the time, but he’s always got an eye and ear out for the safety of his kid

“Ooh, h-hey there kid! You look like you’re having fun, yeah? Yeah…” strong side eye to your date all the while

You’ll likely be able to have a pretty fulfilling relationship, even with your helicopter dad, since unless your partner is outright abusive he can keep his mouth shut

Unlike…

YanBro!Lucio

As a brother figure, Lucio’s protectiveness becomes almost possessive

He always wants to monopolise your time and attention, although it’s unintentional

He just cares about you soo soo much!!

To YanBro!Lucio, time spent with you is as valuable as omnium, and even more precious

He gets irritated at the thought of anyone else taking away your time with him, but he won’t show it

He really, really wants you to think he’s cool and chill despite his obsession, so he keeps the worst of his dark feelings under lock and key

But the same doesn’t go for those that would take you away

He’s quite a traditional yandere, in this sense

He’s not afraid to beat up or even kill whatever punk thought they could date HIS sibling

And he’s not shy about it, either!

He won’t tell you about his actions upfront, and if you come to him for comfort when another partner leaves you, he won’t mention his involvement

But if you ever ask him if he had a hand in it, he won’t deny it at all

“Yeah, I took out trash, what’s wrong with that? They didn’t deserve you, sunshine, you oughta know your worth by now!”

YanSis!D.VA

Oh yeah she’s totally cool with it!

Sike

She could not be more upset if she tried

Why do you have to go out and date people when you can stay in and play games with her??

She genuinely does not understand why you’re choosing others over her, and she can get a little petulant over it

And by a little I mean ‘actually throwing tantrums/blocking the door so you can’t leave to go on your date/crocodile tears about how abandoned she feels’

To be fair, this is how she always is when you try to leave the base without her, but she goes the whole nine yards when there’s another person involved

She just wants to be the number one most important person in your life at all times! Is that so much to ask?

And it doesn’t have to be positive attention from you to keep her happy, she’ll tear into your looks, insecurities and deepest secrets that you’ve confided to keep you where you belong; by her side in the family

And don’t think you can just slip past her, she’s definitely buffer than the game makes her out to be and will be willing to use force if push comes to shove

While the others are focused on the significant other, YanSis!D.VA is all about you, you, you.

If this is a group yandere situation (which tbh I always picture it to be) it can almost be a nice balance

The others go off and deal with intruding party, while she stays home and makes sure you’ll regret ever even thinking of dating someone

“Listen, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The fact is, your little date’s already dead. So go back to your room and get out of those tacky clothes, and I’ll bring us some energy drinks, mmkay?”

YanBestie!D.VA

Somehow even less okay with it than her sisterly counterpart, if you can imagine

Buuut… she’s a little nicer to you in the long run of it all

Her mindset is more like, I did all this work to get to the number one spot in their life, and some nobody is trying to overtake me?

It brings out more of her competitive side, and since she can’t control you as much as YanSis!D.VA can, she starts taking every comment and action from your partner as a challenge

“Ohh, you went to the arcade together? Did you see who had all the top scores?”

“Oh you took them to a fast food restaurant? Huh, I would have taken them to their actual favourite, and I definitely wouldn’t have made them pay.”

“You bought them a plushie? Aww! You know, they have an entire bed’s worth of plushies that I’ve gotten them over the years.”

It goes on like this for weeks, her trying to convince they’re not good enough, peppered with raising herself up and reminding everyone included that she’s your bestie

No one else gets to have a higher place in your heart

Eventually, she’ll get tired of fighting with you over some extra and she’ll remove them from your life by force

While she’s not above outright killing them, there’s other routes she can go down first, like accusing them of a crime to get them locked up

She’s a valuable military asset and an immensely popular public figure; who are the people gonna believe?

Unlike YanBro!Lucio, she doesn’t accept you crying over the loss, and she’ll even twist things to make you feel like it was your fault

“You know, I was dropping hints for aaages that you shouldn’t have been with them, maybe if you paid more attention to me you could’ve walked away earlier and none of this would’ve happened!”

YanMama!Ashe

Of course you can go on dates, honey! But only as long as BOB can keep an eye on you!

You know that bit in The Lion King where Simba’s mother makes Zazu go with them all the time? Yeah that’s her but with you and BOB

Except it’s much, much harder to escape BOB

Ashe honestly thinks she’s being pretty open and nice about it, letting you date people at all was something she had to take a LOT of time to come to terms with

Your silent chaperone tries his best to not make you uncomfortable, but he can’t exactly hide his massive stature, so whoever you date is just gonna have to be chill with him forever

And by forever, I mean FOREVER - you could be a whole married adult and YanMama!Ashe would still have him checking on you every time you left the house together

Internally, she’ll always be quite conflicted about letting you go around with random partners

She’ll do a lot of wistfully gazing out the window, dramatically sighing as she awaits her child’s return

I honestly picture her a bit hopeless outside of violence and business dealings, and she just doesn’t know how to express the deep sorrow in her heart without making you hate her

She get almost weirdly happy if your partner does something cruel to you, it gives her an excuse to take out some pent-up anger on a nobody

That’s not to say she won’t comfort you; there’ll be lots snuggles and forehead kisses as she reminds you that she’ll always be here for you

She might be crying more than you over the idea of you being hurt

“Don’t worry about a thing, darling! Me and BOB are gonna have this all sorted out, you just sit pretty for us, alright?”

—//—

Thanks for reading!

[aetherstorms]

So a post popped onto my timeline due to the Fandaniel tag, and it reminded me that a vast swath of the fandom hates Hermes. They hate him for being depressed, for living in a society that he doesn't fit into, for being unable to conform, and for causing the Final Days (I assume). So I've decided to write it. I've decided to say why I love Hermes, and why I still love him as Amon and Fandaniel. This is going to be long, and contain personal comparisons to support why I feel such a strong attachment. Obviously this is very personal, so if you don't want brief insights into a stranger's mind, just keep on scrolling. It really is a lot to take in.

First of all, and I believe this is my first time saying it on this blog, but I'm autistic. As such, I live in a society I don't fit into. I have a lot of trouble with face to face interactions. I have a lot of difficulty maintaining eye contact and reading body cues and tone, and this has only gotten worse since the start of the pandemic due to avoiding people as much as possible to avoid getting sick. I don't see Hermes as autistic, but the fact he feels differently than those around him, the fact that he has such high empathy for the creations of Elpis, definitely causes him to be isolated. Whether they actually push him away, or he just has trouble connecting because they can't understand his point of view, it's pretty clear to me that he's quite lonely.

His short story told me that it was probably more of the second thing. They don't seem to reject him, but they can't understand his feelings, so he withdraws. When he decides to make Meteion, his fellows in Elpis apparently go to great lengths to help him create her. They want to help him, they want him to be happy. There's simply a gap they cannot bridge. Unlike in real society, those around him are compassionate toward him despite his differences.

But, through no fault of their own, this compassion also hurts him. He worries that he is an aberration. Because no one around him feels as he does, he thinks of himself as a freak, as someone different and it bothers him. He withdraws further. How often has this man removed his mask to have an earnest conversation with someone? I feel like when he's talking to the WoL it may be the first time he's done so, at least in his adult life. If he had even one friend, or person he considered a friend, might he have broken so easily? Or would that one tether have been enough to give him pause? It's hard to say, since in that moment it was so so very clear that he wasn't in his right mind. He had heard Meteion tell him horrible things, and he felt he needed to subject himself to all of it.

Yet, remember his question at the end of Ktisis Hyperboreia? Even though Meteion was telling him previously that all the Meteia found was death and murder and pain, he still asks her 'was there happiness in those distant stars? Was there a reason for living?'. He still hopes for good news. He still wants to hear that things can be okay. Meteion does not give him good news though. She tells him more of the same, more suffering, more pain and death. She snaps completely, overcome by the agonies of her sisters, and Hermes falls to despair. If this is the whole of the universe, then this must be what Etheirys also deserves and if they can prove themselves better than the whole rest of the universe, only then will they be able to survive, whether they deserve to live or not.

The fact that much of the fandom seems to hate him for this decision is troubling, to say the least. They slap the 'bad guy' tag on him without any further thought. They don't consider why he makes this decision, they don't see him as a man at the end of his rope, who sees no other choice he can make. As it turns out, he could have stopped the Meteia right then and there. His staff can apparently communicate with them, so he could probably have ordered them to return like Emet-Selch told him to. But his sympathies do not lie with mankind, not in that moment. He sees the Meteia as being the ones in the right, as of course they must be as creations that sense emotions. Even though he asked a flawed question, he isn't thinking straight. He was a man with depression, and having been pushed to the brink, he makes a decision that in the moment seems like the correct one.

From the perspective of those around him who obviously aren't privy to his thoughts, of course this seems an evil act. From that perspective, of course they would hate him. But we the player have seen him struggle. So why do so many hate him for this decision when they must surely know that the circumstances that brought it about were unusual? Did they forget that not long before they were chasing Meteion because she very much did not want to give her report, knowing it would hurt Hermes? Did they forget that just before she began her report, she was expressing that she was sorry to Hermes? Did they forget that she had been fighting against the will of her sisters to give that report? She knows this man, her creator, better than anybody. She knew what this news would do to him. If anyone is the villain here, it's us for forcing her to give her report. But only Meteion must know how this is going to go, or at least she has the best guess, and we can only do as the game dictates. The ending was a foregone conclusion, and it's one we already know. But why do so many hate him when they know more about his pain than presumably anyone aside from Meteion?

But that's just Hermes. Why do the players hate Fandaniel? Because he's flamboyant? Because he's annoying? Because he's weird? Because he's an utter nihilist? Maybe it's that last one. If you don't have depression, without knowing why he feels this way in the moment it's presented, it's easy enough to go 'what the hell?' and hate him for wanting to destroy everything. But why continue to hate him afterward? With the context of Amon and the things he saw? The player knowing he suffered for five millennia (he states ten when dying as Zodiark, which I still find curious) and found nothing good. He was a man who was forced to help kill entire worlds on top of the belief he already had in Allag that it should all end simply because his Emperor willed it so.

Now, to be perfectly honest, as something of a nihilist myself, I admit I might have a leg up on understanding him here. I see the atrocities around me and think how much better it would be if humanity just stopped existing. But I also make a point of seeking proof of the opposite, just as Hermes did. Maybe Amon's problem is that, like Hermes, he was isolated. Given current evidence, it seems like Noah was his only confidant in Allag and she stated that he was dour and serious until he succeeded in bringing back Xande, and he may not have tried to gain friendships among the Ascians. With that assumption, it's hard to want to find the good in mankind. He certainly wouldn't have been encouraged to find it.

But why not hate Emet-Selch, who created the Empire that broke Amon in the first place? Who had, by his own admission, created many Empires, all of them presumably as horrible as Allag and Garlemald. Why is he so popular? Because, also by his own admission, he kept trying to find a connection to us? Because he sees what he's doing as a step toward restoring what was lost, something the player can more easily relate to? Which even the Scions admit sounds logical from a certain point of view? Do they hate Fandaniel because he has no wish for anything better, but rather an end to everything?

I like Emet-Selch, but I have no idea why others like him, only why I do. Just as I can only guess why others hate Fandaniel, Amon, and Hermes. If I was given a big red button to kill all of humanity, would I press it? The answer may surprise you. I wouldn't. I wouldn't because I have people I care about, because I own pets specifically to keep me from killing myself when my depression would otherwise overwhelm me to the point even my friends wouldn't be enough. Hermes, Amon, Fandaniel....they don't seem to have had those things. By all indications, they were very alone and while Noah seemed to have a greater insight into Amon than any of Hermes' colleagues did, even she could only tell us so much.

Hermes had Meteion, but then she brought him multitudes of misery, a whole universe of it. His only tether had told him it essentially wasn't worth it and Amon states he dreamed the memories Kairos had supposedly erased until he was given the seat and memories of Fandaniel, giving him context. But he was plagued with these dreams supposedly his whole life. He dismissed them as dreams at first, but to see such things night after night probably didn't do his mental health any good and then he finds out these aren't dreams, but memories. He knew about the true cause of the Final Days, and then he's given no reason to believe in the good of man when he's basically made to foster the opposite. Is it really any wonder he was so manic at the end? His goal was finally coming to fruition. His suffering would finally be over.

Maybe that's why so many people like Emet-Selch. He's a bastard and a mass-murderer sure, but he's been doing all of this for a cause he believes in. Twisted as it may be, it's relatable; he just wants his loved ones back. This is a story told all throughout history, of people doing whatever it took just to get their loved one (usually their lover) back. The man is a walking Greek Tragedy. Fandaniel on the other hand wants everyone, including himself, to die. Not just die, but suffer on the way. Most people won't stop to think about his reasons, even when he outright hands them to you. It really does show how experiences shape you. If you haven't experienced things in life to make you feel the way he does, it can be hard to see why he'd think this way.

When Kairos does its work and we see Hermes outside Ktisis, he's obviously still injured and no one knows why other than Hermes' 'vague memories' of what he decided he would believe had happened to Meteion. He gave himself an ending that would ensure he never looked for her, never tried to use his staff to call out to the Meteia again. He was wounded physically, but emotionally he was shattered. He calls himself a murderer in Hythlodaeus' short story, after all. he is depicted as a man who throws himself obsessively into his work to the point of self-neglect, most likely to punish himself and also to distract himself.

When the Final Days came, how did he hold it together? How did he not fall to despair to be consumed by his own aether creating a monstrosity? Did the Meteia consciously spare him? No, I don't think so. Meteion offers him oblivion before she flees. She sees this as a mercy he has denied. She loves him, she would not want him to keep suffering. In this I can't guess how he managed not to be consumed. Maybe he suspected the true cause, or at least a part of it, and as he'd said, he would be working against the Meteia. He seems to very much be a man of his word, at least. Even to his own detriment. One cannot deny one's nature.

But yes, I both understand and don't why so much of the fandom seems to hate Hermes and his reincarnation, but if you've made it this far, you definitely deserve accolades. This was a lot, but I found I could no longer leave it unsaid. It was an unpacking of myself, the character(s) and an attempt to figure out why those who dislike them do so.

Of course, there is a difference between empathy and mimicry. Most of us have a healthy separation of fiction and reality. He's just like me fr, but that doesn't mean I'd want to do what he does if I had the power to do it. He's a fictional character with fictional pain that just happens to reflect a mindset I can understand. But it seems many can't understand or relate. They just see a man with an incomprehensible viewpoint and they don't even try to understand his thinking. I think I can understand why they don't understand, but at the same time it really just proves his own point, doesn't it? No one tries to understand people who are different than them, it seems. Not if they're the majority. At least the people in Hermes' life were apparently kind in their interactions with him, misguided as he saw their attempts.

[dreamy-love222]

A bulimic is not a failed anorexic

A bulimic is not a failed anorexic

A bulimic is not a failed anorexic

A bulimic is not a failed anorexic

We may feel that way but bulimia is a separate illness. It doesn’t make us a failure. We are just as sick as anorexics if not more sometimes. It’s a really dangerous illness and there is a different facet when you become an underweight bulimic. Low weight bulimia is extremely dangerous because you get the dangers of binge purging and the dangers of being underweight and starved. And not being underweight doesn’t mean you can’t experience the side effects or starvation. Starvation is a state first then it becomes visible. And ofc as it goes on for a longer period it becomes more and more harmful.

Your insides suffer first (digestion issues, heart issues, concentration issues, forgetfulness, nerve damage) , signs other than being skinny (like losing hair, weak sensitive teeth, weak bladder, sick looking complexion (pale, yellowish, bluish skin) , more body hair ect) also happen. Being skinny is the last step. And it should not the measure of how sick someone is, it’s definitely an aspect that should not be taken lightly especially if someone is really underweight or at a very low body fat despite being at a slightly underweight state.

I have always said that bulimia ruins your insides first. Burnt eusophagus sores on your gums, chemical burns via the acid. Digestion issues, heart issues. I had two heart attacks. Whatever I eat sits in my stomach for 10hours because my body forgot how it digests food. If I eat a normal portion I feel so full I can involuntarily vomit. When I bend down food goes up my eusophagus and I can vomit, so if I drop something I need to squat to get it back and not bend over. I feel more comfortable when my stomach is empty because each time I eat my whole body goes cold and I bloat so much and i get stomach aches. This Illness is no joke.

If you just started please run away as fast as you can. You do not want this. I thought that there would be a Prince Charming that would care enough to notice my suffering and to save me from myself. This was when I was 13 and just started. I didn’t even know how to purge so it was only harming me and not getting rid of the calories.

I used to fantasise about being in the Mha universe. And going to the cafeteria. I would eat loads and then I would excuse myself to go to the bathroom and I would make myself vomit. Whoever character I was obsessed with in that period of the year (I had a Hitoshi shinso phase, that messy hair deep voice and purple eyes really made my 13 year old heart flutter) would follow me after getting their suspicions and WOULDNT BARGE IN (this is very important ! Omg it would be such a mess if they entered when I was making myself vomit) but wait until I was finished. The bathroom was unisex in our middle school. And as I am washing my face and hands they would show up out of no where and I would be surprised.

They would ask me if I was okay

Ofc I would lie and say yes

But they would see through the facade. And tell me I didn’t have to pretend anymore.

« Why are you doing that to yourself? You don’t deserve to put your body through such a thing… Sarra… please don’t do this anymore, I would hate to see you suffer like this. I have always thought highly of you.. I think you’re smart and beautiful. I really like you… »

They would put my cold frail hands in their big warm ones and caress my bruised knuckles…

« Look at your knuckles Sarra, they are all bruised up. You have such pretty hands…why are you doing all of this? »

« I… I don’t know, I feel like I need to lose weight. Every since I saw 92kg on the scale I lost it… I need to be thinner. Look at me. I am at 75kg now. No where near 55kg. That’s my ultimate goal weight. I won’t be happy until I reach it. I’ll stop once I do »

They would take both of my hands in one of their hands and put it on their chest, and gently caress my swollen cheeks from purging.

« I know everyone has been congratulating you for losing weight, but I can see that you aren’t happy… your eyes, they tell a story.. a sad one. Whenever you’re ready I am here to listen to it… can you feel that? That’s my heart beating, for you… I have always liked you Sarra. No matter your weight. You are always kind to everyone and you try your best every single day. Louise told me you have been bullied in Tunisia… I am so enraged by that. Bullies are the worst, they make fun of others because they are insecure about themselves….

We can sit together at the cafeteria I would love to eat lunch with you Sarra. »

And we would stare in each other’s eyes for what seems like an eternity, hearts entwined, souls connected. I would finally be seen. For me. My struggles not a mere fabricated lie or a delusion. They would be acknowledged.

And ever since that day we would sit next to each other in classes. In our free hours we would do our homework together. Lunchtime is still stressful and I still purge sometimes, but I would make healthy choices most of the time and my social anxiety won’t be so crippling. I would stop when I am full and not finish the whole plate. We would walk home together….

During the year 2018 and 2019 this is the daydream that kept me going. But in reality nothing like this happened. People kept congratulating me for losing weight. I felt so lonely each time I made myself vomit and the walk of shame afterwards is so horrible. No one noticed and if they did they never said a thing. When I told a girl I went to the choir with she told me I was lying. « You’re too fat to be bulimic, you know it’s shameful to lie about having anorexia /bulimia, you should be ashamed. Actually it would do you good if you starved. Losing weight doesn’t make you anorexic » I was so distraught. My voice got worse. I lost my solo at the choir.

And I got hospitalised at 2020 (8 months) then I had 5 suicide attempts in 2021. Another three in 2022 and a hospitalisation in 2022 (2 months) and 2023 (6 months). At the end of 2023 I also had a hospitalisation for suicidal ideation and borderline personality disorder. (3 weeks they kicked me out for being too much to handle) This year I had one suicide attempt.

My daydreams stay that, daydreams. They sadly never happen. But these characters make my everyday life easier so I keep imagining scenarios

[angsty-twihardxx]

SOFT DESCENT | T. MILLER

Description: When patrol with your boyfriend gets turned upside down, you get taken away from him. Will he find you in time? Or will you fall into a pit trying to save yourself?

Warnings: 18+ (all minors shall be banished) ANGST, hurt/comfort, fluff at the end, mentions of violence, death umm yeah i think that’s it.

A/N: I needed to write some angst to cleanse my brain from all the smut teehee, honestly idk what this is, I literally was listening to tlou part 2 soundtrack and this song came on and my brain came up with this. If you want to listen to it while your reading I guess you can for some ambience. I also have masterlist for this sexan (sexy Texan) *knee slap

But yeah if you like this yknow feel free to like and reblog. If you have any requests puh-lease send em my way. X

There was one thing to learn about the world you lived in, Cordyceps were scary, bloodthirsty monsters, but it was humans that were the real monsters. Whenever there was a time you were out in the world, away from the confines of a QZ or a commune like Jackson you were at risk.

The fungi was predictable, one part of an entire hive mind to reach a goal. Unlike people, Cordyceps couldn’t lie.

. . .

For the couple of years you had lived in Jackson, it was very rare that you joined Tommy on patrol, he remained annoyingly adamant on keeping you safe. Which you hated, did he not think you could handle it? That if the time came to it you couldn’t defend yourself?

It was a constant battle between the two of you despite the times you showed him that you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, he still wouldn’t budge. He was as stubborn as a mule at the worst of times.

Winter this year though had been extremely hard on the town, the icy winds were killing the crops, meaning that people weren’t getting the nutrients they need to fight the sicknesses that came with the cold. Patrol was low on me, most of them being bedridden with frostbite and the flu. There weren’t many people that were willing to leave the safety of the walls to help, except you.

Tommy had just made it into the stables from patrol when Maria brought up the idea of you helping, which he instantly turned down, that it wasn’t necessary; he would be fine on his own. But Maria wasn’t having it, she knew that you were more than capable of taking care of yourself, and she knew that he did too. So by the end of their conversation she told him that you would join him for patrol the next day, and he wasn’t stupid enough to argue with her.

Which is why he was so grumpy the next morning, remaining mostly silent as the two of you got ready. The sun had barely touched the sky when you were jostled awake by the movement beside you in the bed. A muttered curse fell from his lips when he heard you move, no doub t trying to leave without you. “S’alright darlin’ just go back to sleep.” His voice was a hushed whisper as he tried to not wake you from your dreamy state.

But you knew him better than to think he was simply being courteous, you lazily swung the blankets over your legs. “Nice try cowboy.”

A permanent frown spread across Tommy’s forehead the entire morning, making it known that he wasn’t happy with this. But you paid no mind, actually just excited to go out and see the world again. Being out in the unmanned woods was your favourite, it reminded you of when you would go walking out in the moubntains near where you grew up. It almost felt like ‘then’ as well, with little to no infected you could just simply breathe.

Tommy didn’t realise how long it had been since you actually were on the other side of the walls, till he watched how excited you were. It was almost like everything was new to you again. “I forgot how pretty it was out here.” You sighed happily as you admire the large frozen lake at the bottom of the mountain.

Maybe he was a little overprotective of you, okay he definitely was. Tommy could admit that he was so worried about you getting hurt that he didn’t even think about what you wanted. Guilt crept up on him as he remembered how normal this used to be, when the two of you travelled to find Jackson in hopes for a better life. But now that he had it, he wanted to protect it as much as he could.

“Y’should see it in the springtime, all the animals runnin’ around. Reckon you’d enjoy it.” He looked over at you sweetly, suddenly forgetting how only a few hours ago he disliked the idea of you being out here with him.

“I would ask if that it an invitation but I don’t want to push my luck.” You sent a teasing smirk his way, knowing he was getting soft in his old age.

Snow was falling heavier once you and Tommy reached the patrol hut, which was already warm thanks to the two men before you. The bright red blames didn’t work fast enough to warm your hands, despite how many times you rubbed them together.

“Y’know that only works when you take your gloves off right?” He smirked, his eyes looking down at you for a brief moment before giving them a roll in amusement. If you were any closer you would’ve been sitting on top of the ember. “Stupid gloves don’t even work anyway.” You muttered slipping off the leather gloves and fanning your warm breath on your blue hands.

You content sigh filled the small room as the feeling in your fingers started to come back. Tommy always teased that you reminded him of a cat his mother had when he was younger, if there was a pocket of sun coming through the front window you would be there already bathing in its warmth. “What happened to the gloves I gave you for your birthday?” Tommy turned to face you as you sat beside him, kicking your legs up on the wood bench.

“That’s a good question for Ellie.” You cocked an eye his way, an annoyed groan falling from your mouth. You loved that girl like she was family, and you seemed to grow on her instantly. Which had many perks like having someone to tag team when it came to teasing the Miller brothers, someone to keep you company on those late nights when you were both home alone. But you drew the line when it came to your gloves.

The two of you were content sitting for a moment to find your bearings. As the cracking flames and howling snow filled winds muted the sound of approaching footsteps, that were silently creeping their way towards the hut where the two of you found yourselves in. Only alerting you of their presence as they kicked the door in, their guns already aimed at your heads before you could react. Knocking you both on the hard cement floor as you tried to speak, the air was snatched from your lungs as your chest collided on the ground.

You squirmed under the weight of the masked man that tied your arms behind you back, no matter how hard you struggled his grip was unrelenting. He let out a snicker as he pulled tighter on the ropes, the rough material pinching your skin.

“Asshole.”

Tommy on the other hand was quiet and calculated, watching their every move. Hunters never dared to get this close to Jackson, especially not in the winter. What were they up to?

He turned his attention back to you when he stopped hearing your voice, your eyes already on him, filled with worry. “We’re gonna be okay, alright?” He tried giving you a reassuring smile, wishing that he could hold you right now.

Boots echoed on the ground as the tension clearly rose with this man’s presence, he definitely had to be in charge. He was much bigger than the rest, almost look special ops with his helmet and thick bullet proof vest. The name Marshall was indented on the old badge, you wondered if that was always his vest, if the name belonged to him or not.

His eyes fell onto you for just a second too long, the bile in your stomach churned in disgust as he sent a smile your way.

“They had nothin’ useful, reckon these guys are from that town down south? They have guns and horses, wonder what else they got.”

“Potentially, I think they’d give us what we need. If they were persuaded enough.”

“N-no don’t fucken touch me!” You spat as two men approached you, fighting against the hands that grabbed your shoulders. Your legs kicked wildly in the air as you tried to writhe out of the strings arms that carried you away from Tommy.

“Please, I’ll get whatever you need, but don’t do this.” Tommy pleaded, his eyes watering in fear, just the thought of you getting taken away from him scared him to death. But he was ignored, your screams faded as they dragged you outside and out of his line of vision.

“Deal with him, you know what to do.”

. . .

Tommy woke up alone, something that gave him no ease. His head throbbed as he tried to stand, already shouting your name. Ignoring how the room spun around him as he made it outside, confirming that everything that happened before he was knocked out wasn’t some sick nightmare. It was real, you were gone.

He hoped that he hadn’t been unconscious for long, the sun was thankfully still in the sky, the maroon sunset was soon approaching. You were still closer, they couldn’t have taken you far.

Fucken hunters.

Tommy’s heart thumped in his chest as he called out for you for what felt like the hundredth time, fear grew in his chest the longer he didn’t see you. With no response again he ran towards the forests tree line, he had to find you. With no horse or weapons or even a plan he left in search of you.

Fuck how did he mess everything up so badly? This was what he was worried about happening to you, he should’ve left in the morning on his own, before either you or Maria could yell at him about it. He didn’t care if you hated him after this but he was never going to put you in harms way ever again. And that was a promise.

Your scream danced against the trees as it travelled to find Tommy, when he heard it for the first time his heart stopped in his chest. He ran towards the direction of your voice in a blinded fury, absolutely no idea what it was he was running into with nothing to protect himself. For all he knew there could be a whole camp full of people and he wouldn’t care, only seeing red.

His hurried footsteps slowed when he caught sight of an old farmhouse in the distance. Your horses were tied up to the fence post at the front, the people that took you were here. The smoke pouring from the chimney told him the building was occupied.

The wooden door bounced off the wall after being slammed open in Tommy’s rage. For a brief moment he paused, expecting to be ambushed upon his arrival. Only to be met with bodies scattered around the room, it was a brutal sight. Blood dried as it rolled down the walls, pooling on the hardwood floor under his boots. It only made the fear inside home grow, whether or not he would find you along with the others.

He was ripped from his worries when the sound of a struggle echoed down the stairs, after taking a discarded pistol he ascended frantically. Screaming your name as he searched each room for you, his hand grasping onto the pistol till his knuckles whitened. All of the worst possible outcomes flashed into his head but he was determined to find you even if it was the last thing he did.

Out of all the situations he thought of, he didn’t know if this was worse. Your agonising screams that fell out your mouth with every blow. The corroded pipe that you held onto or dear life as it collided with one of the hunters skulls.

Tommy froze as you swung your arm down once more, the warm blood tricked down your hand as it shook. He didn’t recognise the wild look in your eyes, almost as if it was someone else in control of your body. Guilt crept up inside him, if only he was here earlier. Then maybe the glimmer of hope in your eyes wouldn’t be missing.

That was something Tommy admired about you, after losing so much you never lost your sense of humanity, well until now that is.

The bang from from you dropping the pipe in your hand cut through the silence like a scolding blade. He softly called your name, although he doubted you even heard him.

The room was dead silent, Tommy’s steps were slow and precise as he approached you. Like a wild and scared animals that’s cornered, he was unsure of how you would react.

Your head spun around abruptly to face him, bottom lip quivering as tears fell down your cheek. His mouth moved as he spoke to you but all you could hear was a high-pitched ringing, whether it was from the gun going off near your head earlier or the adrenaline rushing through you.

“It’s okay baby, you’re okay. I’m here.” Tommy whispered into your hair as he knelt down to envelope you, he told himself that he was never letting you go again.

“I-they were going to-“ You tried to swallow the ever growing lump in your throat in your throat as you thought about the past few hours in disgust. Letting your head fall onto his shoulders you could really comprehend that he was here, Tommy found you.

“Your safe baby, I promise.” Tommy brought his hand to hold your head, holding back his own tears as you cried, He tried to hide how petrified he was, you were still shaking in fear even in the safety of his arms. Your blood curdling scream was still sending chills down his spine.

He should’ve been the one to kill all these assholes, it meant holding up the structural belief you had that there were still good people in the world, he would kill anybody.

“C’mon sweetheart, let’s get you home yeah?” He smiled at you sadly, it broke his heart seeing you so broken and defeated, he had never seen you like this before. You nodded softly in response, you couldn’t stay here a second longer. Your throat was on fire, you doubted any noise would come out anyway.

. . .

Your trembling arms were wrapped tightly around Tommy’s torso the entire ride home. With your head resting on his shoulder blade you watched the sun fall behind the mountains, you felt so numb as the adrenaline began to wear off. After everything, you felt so hopeless that you couldn’t believe you thought you were capable of all this.

“M’gonna stay home for a few days, hows that sound baby?” Tommy continued to talk to you despite your lack of response, he wasn’t going to push you but he also wasn’t going to give up.

The welcoming lights of Jackson came into view, filling you with very little relief. You dreaded the confused looks and questions you would receive from the townsfolk. Just the thought of it made the panic creep back up your chest, you couldn’t be around these people right now, let alone anyone for that matter. You cringe at how pathetic you sounded, reminding you how pitiful Tommy looked when he found you.

So when the horse stopped in the stables you were off in seconds, walking in the direction of you and Tommy’s shared home. The ringing in your ear masked the calls of your name from Tommy. He let out a huff of air from his nose in annoyance before following you down the street. A deep crease remerging on his head as you picked up your pace.

Tommy called out for again as he walked into an empty living room, only to be met with the sound of your bedroom door being slammed shut.

What felt like a smack to the face was going to open the door only to find that it was locked. Tommy Leto it an exhausted sigh as his head dipped against the wood, your muffled tears leaked through the cracks. You never pushed him away like this before and it was honestly breaking him, he wanted nothing more than to comfort you. He didn’t care if he had to hold you in his arms till they ached, he would do it for you. Tommy called out your name again, more defeated than the last dozen times he had today. “Baby please let me in, I-I don’t know how else to help you.” His voice shook as he felt tears beginning to brim.

God he didn’t even want to think how much pain you were in, he doesn’t even know what happened. He wasn’t really sure he wanted to either. Tommy was met with no response again, he was going to wait right here, for as long you needed him too.

. . .

It was early in the morning when he heard a creak of the door opening behind him, startling him out of his light sleep. The sun was beginning to pour into the hallway through the now open door to your bedroom, peeking inside he saw the small silhouette that was you. Sitting on the edge of the bed in a daze, your eyes stared out the window, soaking the sun as if it would magically heal you.

Tommy doubted that you had slept much either, your red eyes indicated you most likely spent it crying. He wished you let him hold you, that you knew that you didn’t have to do this alone. It reminded him from when he enlisted in the army, the first time he took a life. It took everything in him to not go back home, but the fear that you would turn him away made him worried he’d never get to see you again. For so long he felt like a monster that he didn’t deserve happiness. Yet you continued to love him, even after everything that he did after that.

Kneeling in front of you he placed a firm hand on your knee, letting the calloused skin alert you that he was here. “Talk to me baby, please.” Tommy breathed out, engulfing your hands in he looked up at you softly. The dark bangs under his eyes told you that this had been just as hard for him as it had for you. You had probably put him through hell and he was still just as patient.

God you loved him so much.

“I was just— I thought I was going to die.” Your voice trembled as the tears continued to fall down your cheeks, you were surprised there were still some left. Remembering how scared you were after taking down the first hunter, the bruises that he left on your forearm where he tried to pry your arms from around his neck were a dark shade of purple.

“You were right though, I should’ve listened to you and just stayed here.” Wiping your tears on Tommy’s shirt sleeve that you wore, you thought it would been easier. Taking out all the men that tried to kill you only seemed to make you feel worse. You know you shouldn’t have, but you wondered if they had any family waiting for them back wherever home was.

You were so fucken stupid.

“N-no, ain’t none of this is your fault y’hear me? It was either you or them, I-I know it’s hard but you made the right choice.”

“How can that be the right choice Tommy? They’re all dead because of me, me!” You pointed an accusing finger at your chest, your sadness now turning into anger with yourself. He wondered how long you were thinking this, that you were a bad person because in his eyes you were perfect. It was those assholes that put you in danger that were the monsters.

“Yeah and they would’ve done the same to you, but that’s the world we live in. You can’t let it take over.”

“I don’t know if I can stop it.” Your head shook quickly, your voice trembling in between tears. “You can baby, I know it’s hard but—“

“No!” You almost sound pained, ripping away from Tommy’s hands you placed them on your face, wiping away more tears. “Every time I close my eyes I just see him, everything that I did Tommy-“

“It’s not fair I know, but your gonna get through this. I promise.” Now it was his turn to interrupt you, he didn’t need to hear it all this second, right now he just needed to let you cry.

Your shoulders shook as you fell into the arms of your boyfriend safe embrace, who whispered sweet nothings into your hair. You knew you were always safe when you were with him, there was never a doubt of that in your mind.

[superfluouskeys]

2 and 4 for Melanie Cavill | 5 for Althea from known media “wip whenever parts 1, 2, 3, and 4” | 20 for persephonestraygods And hmmmm hMMMM 9 for Alastor from HH

oooohoohhohohoo these were much food for thought thank you definitely anonymous and mysterious and unknowable friend!!!!

MELANIE CAVILL

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

*LOUD WAILING* I just loooooooooove the way she is set up and portrayed in literally all of s1, the way she is consistently humanized despite how her actions might look (showing her in her lil MIT sweatshirt with her lil lunch box before the reveal that she's running the train; showing her getting sick after she tortures josie; her consistently being like i am an engineer i should be doing That not This).

I was just thinking, I think the main reason the daughter coming back plot rubs me the wrong way is because her having a daughter at all seems a bit incidental to her character; it only really matters bc it shows that she "chose the train" over her daughter. I just really dislike it when shows use 'but she loves children' as a way to 'humanize' female characters. The reconciliation arc feels like such a ham-fisted way to show another side of Melanie when they were doing that already in subtler and better ways.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

ONE THAT APPRECIATES HER!!!!!!! I'm having such a hard time taking her off the train in my mind LOL no one escapes the train. I think something else similarly futuristic/dystopian would also fit her though. And she just has SUCH antihero/reformed villain turned protag potential. Let her go from "I went about this the wrong way" to "I'm the only one who can fix this new disaster that happened after my fall from grace, let me make it right."

ALTHEA BLACKTHORNE FROM KNOWN MEDIA UNNAMED WIP (actually the wip does have a name but I do occasionally keep some things to myself)

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Okay I spent some time second-guessing my first thought but honestly no I stand by it, "Elastic Heart" by Sia.

PERSEPHONESTRAYGODS

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Hmmmmmmmmm okay okay okay hear me out, Persephone really seems to like people who see past her tough exterior and call her on her bullshit, and of course she needs a drinking buddy. I think she wouldn't really mind someone who has a really different life experience from her or someone who can't fully understand everything she's been through. It's more important to her to be seen clearly in the present than to be understood completely, if that makes sense. Hear me out but. I think Persephone and Korra could be friends.

ALASTOR FROM UNIVERSALLY BELOVED HH

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

All right we've got some pros and cons here.

PRO: Hates infernal picture boxes. Would not blast tiktoks without headphones or try to get me to watch some show I would hate in the name of roommate bonding. CON: Might spontaneously cut the power or short-circuit something for reasons unknowable to me.

PRO: Seems perfectly happy to take care of simple home repairs. At worst it would cost me one (1) soul.

PRO: Loves electro-swing and drinking, zero downsides here.

CON: Eats exclusively raw, rotting animal carcasses, BUT hear me out. PRO: I would never have to wait to use the kitchen. Has immaculate table manners while eating raw, rotting animal carcasses. Very important.

CON: Has weird friends that might spontaneously show up and bring untold disaster to my doorstep, but that's pretty much always what it feels like when your roommate has friends over.

Result: Yes I think we could be roommates I think it would be fun at least for awhile and honestly would not be even close to the worst roommate situations I have had.

Character Ask Game!

[bapydemonprincess]

Hi hii, big fan of you and grelleswife's fics and stuff. My favorite is The Butler, Big Brother, with Amy. I love Amy so much.❤️ So I want to know some things. Like would Amy count as an Aunt to any of Sebastian's kids you have made? Does she want to have a mate eventually too? Maybe get married? Can she make a contract and have a master or is that not possible being a President? Does she count in Hell as a child demon despite being a President? Like does she need looking after?? Does she know other demons seen like Claude and Hannah or do they not count because different universes? XD I remember she got really sick too going without eating a soul, so does she need to constantly eat souls? Also, I think, one more thing. I remember early chapters in the manga Sebastian said Hell has Xenomorph looking creatures not cats. Does Amy have those at all or any pets? And does she have a favorite animal like Sebastian?? ^^ Okay. I think that is all!! Thank you and I can't wait to see more stories from you! 😘😘 Hope Amy comes back especially!!! 😁❤️

Hello, Anon, and thank you so much for sending me this message and these interesting questions, and loving my and @grelleswife's writing!! It feels sooo good to get feedback, especially on my end when I'm only here on tumblr and not AO3 at the moment. So thank you overall so much for reaching out!! 💖

I'll try my best to answer all your questions!!

would Amy count as an Aunt to any of Sebastian's kids you have made?

I have definitely imagined some crossovers in some situations, like an older Amy in modern 21st century appearing to hunt down her sibling and popping up right at Seb's and Agni's place- wherever that may be -and meeting Aarushi and/or Ambrose. OR maybe at one point the meeting happened on purpose where Seb really WANTED their new, first heir Aarushi to be introduced to their family.. and then YEARS LATER.. Amy arrives to meet the SECOND one Seb popped out >:3 (*insert image of no-nonsense business wear pencil skirt Amy with heels and sunglasses and nails done looking all the world like a Wine Aunt, minus the wine*) Or of course her getting introduced to Wolfram and Seb and Wolf's babey Ulva, or Amy appearing in the sebagrellerin universe to meet the sweet babey Aidan.. OR... well... there are many verses, it seems, where Amy's big dumb sibling just can't resist a human mate and despite their differences.. 😏

2. Does she want to have a mate eventually too? Maybe get married?

Well, as I've established, in the uhh MAIN AMY UNIVERSE (*snort*) she's stumbled upon a teen reaper boi Adam Borders, under the mentorship of Grelle Sutcliff, and well... let's say she didn't stand a chance in the Tsundere Game >:3, though her veteran older sibling of said game is not too happy with this development! The Protect Family Urges growing STRONGER than EVER in Sebastian 🤭 Even against all common sense! And I've basically established that they are pretty much like mates at this point.. minus the mental bond connection.. Who knows, maybe they'll get there eventually! 😉 As for marriage, well... it's much more complicated to imagine overall because Amy is a demon. And yes, we've written SEBASTIAN getting married, but I'd say the difference is Seb is more... a "domesticated" demon. Because, in this fanon at least, Seb is way more into human concepts like marriage. Not to say maybe Amy ISN'T but.. she's also a young, teenage-like demon too, so.. gehstdjfuy that's the best way to put it, I think. 😅

3. Can she make a contract and have a master or is that not possible being a President?

I personally believe she COULD make a contract, and any demon has the ability in most cases. In this universe. In That Butler, Big Brother, in fact, she tried to make a contract- if VERY poorly -with Prince Soma. Basically if she'd had more experience and know-how, she likely could have done it. Although in that case, it also depends on the human being targeted, and despite if Amy WAS experienced, I doubt even then it would have worked, because well.. Soma. But there's a time and place for everything, so, if the scenario was different, like Amy was facing a human in perhaps a much more desperate situation, and the human needed to chose either a contract or.. y'know.. DEATH likely.. Then that definitely would be a more likely way for Amy to make a contract! And pull it off despite being a President! I think, personally, with her job at home much more better handled and stuff, she could definitely go off and make a contract or two somehow. 😌

4. Does she count in Hell as a child demon despite being a President? Like does she need looking after??

Well I do not see her as a "child" by demon standards anymore, but much more in the pre-teen/teen area of her immortal demonic like. Though there is most definitely a hierarchy in hell, a ranking system, where the higher in the ranks you are, the less you have to do for yourself, really, because you have servants yourself at that point. Though somehow, the rank of "President" counts as still a hard working sort of rank and not a "sit on your ass all day" rank. Somehow. 😜 And I definitely wanted to keep a lot of the "official lore" of Amy the demon from the actual real life Lesser Key of Solomon that includes the fact that they do influence humans in some way.. specifically teaching them things like astrology and liberal arts like the page says! Though my version of Amy is definitely a demon who has been coddled and stays put and, well, despite what they've described Amy as, She or He is much ... smaller and youthful.. (Though there is art of Amy the Demon in HUGE firey forms, and I think despite age, she CAN become like that 🔥 because as we've seen with Seb in the manga, size and shape certainly don't matter~)

5. Does she know other demons seen like Claude and Hannah or do they not count because different universes?

I do believe I've answered these questions before actually! Here about Hannah, and here about Claude!

6. I remember she got really sick too going without eating a soul, so does she need to constantly eat souls?

The main reason she got so weak in that case was from coming to Earth by her own means without all the typical summoning help of a human on this side, and offering up a sacrifice to her like we've seen in the manga done. And, for a younger demon like Amy to just go off and use what power she has to pop up on earth, it was pretty risky on her end! I wouldn't say she has to, normally, constantly eat souls, but compared to a much older demon like Sebastian, it's a very vital thing to keep up her energy if she wants to keep staying on earth and hanging around!

7. I remember early chapters in the manga Sebastian said Hell has Xenomorph looking creatures not cats. Does Amy have those at all or any pets? And does she have a favorite animal like Sebastian?

I definitely can imagine these Totally-Not-an-Aliens-Reference "pets" of hell are the type of animal that are like guard dog-like, and maybe many higher-up demons have them for security or pets.. But I also see Amy as the type to trust other demons for security over creatures that are more animal-like. I'm not sure if she has a favorite at the moment right now, really. I just see Amy as a jumpy little demon, who just can't exactly trust any of the four legged, furry, non-furry, or no legged creatures of earth just yet 😂 (She's still a babey in those types of situations you could say~🖤)

WELL, I hope I've answered all your questions to your liking, I've been busy and tired lately so it was a little bit of a struggle when to find the best time to answer these.. But I really wanted to, so here I am, while at walmart, doing my best fgrhdkyfug 💀

But again, thank you so so much for the questions and your message overall!! I love getting feedback, really I do!! And it was fun to think up answers for this!! So feel free to return and send me more at any time!! 🥰🥰🥰

[julianobungus]

Could you talk about which are your absolute favorite TOH ships and why you like them? I find your takes very interesting and it's so cool that you ship so many rare pairs!

That I can do! Thanks a bunch~! I just enjoy coming up with and seeing different dynamics, and some stick more than others or just appeal to me personally.

Luzador (Luz/Alador): I like this one for a couple reasons. Firstly and superficially, I think they look hot together (y'know, big burly man and lithe petite woman), so they have nice physical chemistry. Secondly, I feel like they have pretty similar/convergent personalities, both being socially-handicapped nerds who are considered deviant and who stand out in some way. I feel like they'd bond over that. I also feel like they'd have a fair bit of shared pain as well - with Luz being ostracised for being 'weird', as well as losing her father, and Alador being emotionally abused by Odalia and feeling guilt for messing up as a father because of her.

Huntleb(Hunter/Caleb): This one may be a little out of left field, but it appeals to me too. I've been seeing a few artworks and talk of it, so that's more or less swayed me hehe. To me, Hunter and Caleb are dadson/selfcest coded, bringing in the best of both worlds and being all the spicier for it. I feel like they'd get along well, with Caleb feeling a sense of duty to protect this poor, abused young man, and Hunter projecting onto him as the closest thing he has to a father figure. Couple that with the fact that Hunter doesn't know how to healthily process and disentangle romantic and familial feelings, and how Caleb has been repressed sexually because of his religious upbringing, and you have two young men giving in to their urges.

BumpEda (Bump/Eda): Okay, so hear me out. These two were already acquaintances in canon and actually got along quite well (to a degree at least, hehe). I'd imagine that Eda confided in Bump about the curse and what was going on with her family life, so I feel like he would have been a good confidante. A good reason for strong feelings to develop. And he even kept the Owl House's location a secret! Now that they're both adults, I'd imagine they have more time and confidence to explore the feelings they have toward one another, with what was once platonic friendship becoming something romantic~

We can't forget Lunter, which is definitely up here as one of my favourites. Even in canon they get along so well! I swear to God, if Amity was out of the picture they'd get together and it'd probably work! There's also the themes and symbolism behind it - the parallels to Caleb and Evelyn for example. It's all so juicy.

Beluz makes me pretty happy too. I'm a sucker for hero/villain ships just because of an 'opposites attract' type deal. Philip/Belos is devoted to Luz, and she needs a big strong man who probably understands her better than *anyone else*, or is at least willing to understand her (same vein as Luzador then, hehe).

Guslow (Gus/Willow): So sweet it makes me sick. Classic childhood friends blossoming into sweethearts. There's only a two-year age gap so I don't really know why this is considered proship (if it even is?). They just slot so neatly together: taller buff GF and short meek boyfriend - i.e., that size difference we all crave.

Camiluz (Camila/Luz): If there was another person beside Alador, Philip, and Hunter who would truly understand Luz, it's her own mother. Despite her mistakes, Camila thinks the world of her Mija and wants her to be as comfy as possible. I like to imagine that they discovered their feelings for each other after Luz came home, and have both just accepted the fact that they're now mother-daughter-girlfriends! Despite how much happier they are together, they feel a little bit of shame because they wonder what Manny would have thought of it.

Belunter (Luz/Hunter/Belos): Listen. Belos loves these two so much. They both remind him of Caleb and one of them is a beautiful human girl. He cherishes them even if they don't feel the same way. While you can definitely ponder the darker/dead-dove aspects this would all imply (of which there are aplenty), I'm a sensitive wee soul so I tend to focus on the soft stuff (with only some aspects of DD). I'm still formulating in my head the proper dynamics to fit these three, but trust me: they have all the more reason to love each other. Hunter was raised by him and has an unhealthy view on relationships; Luz has been ostracised for much of her life and is desperate for the company of those who understand and sympathise with her, and Belos? He's obsessed with them.

Lastly, I've recently been thinking of Amity/Edric. Writing those headcanons for them earlier (thanks to the anon who suggested them, btw) has made me a little gaga over them. It's a new and interesting idea/dynamic to me~!

[triggerhappymilitant]

Can you list the romantic and/or sexual relationships with other muses and tell us something about about why are you shipping with them and how does this relationship look like? :)

I am 100% going to forget people. Mun is currently sick, so I apologize if I do. It doesn't mean I don't love our babies, it just means I'm slowly dying.

@hoodedchishiya is finally his goddamn boyfriend. This one had to be first, because this mf is the reason I created my Niragi account in the first place. Chishiya and Niragi absolutely love to antagonize each other, and even when they've done things to imply clear enough that they have deeper feelings for each other, their soft moments are still rare. However, when they are vulnerable with each other, you could just melt into the floor. These two babies have such amazing chemistry, and they're perfect for each other.

I've also got two other Nishiya ships, with @chishiya-the-cat and @chishiya-of-diamonds — Both are very undefined. With Diamonds, they've at least agreed that they're sexually attracted to each other. Cat, they haven't so much as admitted to it, as they've acted on it and keep telling themselves it's a one-time thing, but they constantly end up in each other's beds. There's an attraction there, a draw, but neither can figure out exactly what it is.

@daikichixkarube is another boyfriend. Niragi felt an immediate attraction towards meeting Karube (look, he has a thing for blonds, okay?) He was able to show the new guy around, and the flirting was pretty immediate. I think, to an extent, there's something in Karube that recognizes the part of Niragi that he wants to hide the most. Niragi has been willing to open up about the bullshit he went through with him, something I don't think he's truly been able to do with anyone else. They're very cute together, but also happy to roll around in bed together.

@aggwaseon Jihoon is a recently turned boyfriend of Niragi's. Despite the age difference, the two get along great. There's a big sexual drive there, but there are also feelings involved (having told each other they love each other.) Niragi is protective of him in a way he isn't with most; something entirely unnecessary given the age, job, and abs on Ji, but it's more of an emotional protectiveness. He wants Ji to feel nothing but happiness.

@your-sweet-cookie this man finally has a girlfriend. And we're also back to the blonds (I know, its silver/grey/etc. He likes people with very little color in his hair.) Niragi wasn't sure what to make of her at first. He always found her attractive, but he wasn't used to romance. Still, he quickly started developing feelings for her and wanted to spend all his time around her.

@yuzuhastrength While we haven't done anything with them recently, I will definitely still be adding her to my list. It's very undefined. There is an attraction there, despite their past. Niragi enjoys her company, her fiery nature, and the fact she can hold her own. And, of course, he finds her ridiculously attractive.

Not as active here on Tumblr, but I'm still shouting out @heartsking since we write a shit ton on Discord and they're my favorite person in the world. The first person I ever wrote Nishiya with - the person who watched me go from "eh, I could see it maybe being sexual" to "I will go down with this ship." And is happy to appease me for it. They're the most open with their feelings, and Niragi is a bit of a teddy bear with Chishiya. With have multiple universes, so it's hard to comment on all of them.

There are some that are sexual and/or just super blurry and undefined what they are. Again, I'll probably miss some, but some honorable mentions are @arisuthegamer (Niragi wants this man, badly. Arisu has actually admitted to having a crush, but they haven't done much with it yet.) @thebandanightmare (chaotic, sexy. Where's the "I ship it" Thor meme?) @spade-0-chan - they're flirty, unsure what's really going on with them, and I don't think they know either. @twentyfourhourtitts pretty strictly FWB. Put two attractive people with high sex drives together and boom, you've got these two. @k-y-u-m-a-clubs - Niragi adores this man endlessly. It's blurry as to what all exactly is going on with people, but Niragi enjoys his company nevertheless.

Again, I'm sorry if I missed anyone. I tried checking my following list to avoid it, but I'm sure I still probably did. You're free to yell at me.

[isabel3710]

Tim Turner (formally Tim) was running through the tiny two bedroom apartment, trying to gather his things. Despite it being the weekend his boss had called him and said he needed to come in. Apparently some intern got a bunch of files and papers messed up so he needed to reorganize them.

Hearing his phone ring he stumbled into the kitchen to find his two kids, Willow and Carson, were sitting at the table and eating cereal. He gave them a quick smile as he grabbed his phone, finding it to be the babysitter.

“Hey Alex.”

“Tim” they said “I am so sorry but I won’t be able to come.”

“Is everything okay?” He asked, rummaging through the papers scattered on the counter.

“I got a stomach bug” they said “I’ve been vomiting all morning.”

“Are you serious?” Tim sighed “okay well, get better…”

The two hung up and he hung his head. Crap, what was he going to do now? Who was going to watch the twins?

“Dad?” He looked up at his son.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he sighed “Alex is sick so I need to find someone else to watch you.”

“Why do you have to leave anyways?” Willow asked, “it’s Saturday.”

“I know,” he said sadly, “I don’t have much of a choice.” 

“Can’t we stay home alone?” Carson asked.

“No,” Tim said, “definitely not.”

Tim did not want to be one of those parents who left their kids alone all the time, at least until they were twelve. At the very least! He did not want to repeat history.

He looked back down at his papers with a sigh, Tim then glanced down at the pink and green tie in his hand. Tim then thought of his new neighbors just upstairs, the ones with pink and green hair who were trying so hard to appear human. 

The single father looked up at his children, “I’ll be right back.”

Tim bolted from the apartment and ran up the stairs as fast as he could. Running down the hallway and knocking rapidly on the door. It opened a moment later to reveal Wanda. Who found him kneeling over, hands resting on his knees, as he tried to catch his breath.

“Timm- Tim” she quickly corrected herself “what’s wrong? Are you hu-”

“Can you look after my twins for me?” He asked, looking up at her desperately. 

She stared at him, tearing up, though he didn’t notice as he began to ramble. “It’s just for a couple of hours. I know it’s short notice… and you have someone else to watch” Wanda and Cosmo looked after the neighbor girl, Hazel, on occasion. “But my babysitter is sick and I can’t call any of my other… Families.”

Tim didn’t trust his parents or his in-laws with his children as far as he could throw them “you’re the only one I can think of.” He took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears. “I’m… I’m sorry I-”

He was interrupted as Wanda pulled him into a tight hug, and for a moment he allowed himself to lean into it. For a moment he allowed himself to feel like he was ten again, for a moment he allowed his Mom to hug him again.

Tim pulled back before he ended up telling her everything. “I would be happy too” Wanda said “let me go grab Cosmo.” 

She shut the door slightly as she grabbed her husband and Tim led them downstairs, hurriedly explaining anything they needed to know about his kids. 

“They’re pretty self-sufficient” he said “if you could just make sure they don’t set fire to the place and feed them then they should be fine…”

“Don’t worry Timm- Tim” Cosmo said “we got this!”

Tim knew they did, they did raise him after all, but forced himself not to say anything. 

He found his children right where he left them. “Kids, this is Wanda and Cosmo.” Tim introduced “Wanda and Cosmo, this is Willow and Carson. They’re watching you for the day.”

“Are you sure we can’t be left on our own?” Carson asked, looking at the two newcomers warily.

“The day I do that is the day I come home and find the building up in flames” Tim said, gathering his things.

“We wouldn’t set the building on fire!” Willow tried to deny. He gave her a look and she sighed, conceding. 

As Tim finished getting ready he couldn’t help but smile as old fairies introduced themself. “Hi I’m Cosmo!” 

“And I’m Wanda!”

“And we’re your babysitters!” They said in unison. 

Tim pressed his lips together to keep himself from laughing as he scribbled on a scrap of paper “here’s my number, call me anything happens.”

Wanda took it “don’t worry we got this.”

“We got plenty of experience!” Cosmo said. 

His wife elbowed him “what he means is that we have a kid so you don’t need to worry.”

Tim ignored the pain of sadness at the thought of his baby brother “thanks again for this.” He checked the time “shoot I gotta go!”

He quickly gave his kids each a quick kiss and ‘I love yous’ before running out the door.

—-----------

Work ended up taking longer than planned but once he was finally able to head home Tim checked his phone to find that Wanda had texted him. Informing him he had taken his children to the park with Hazel. 

He appeared at the park to find his kids and the neighbor girl playing together with Cosmo while Wanda watched them. Tim walked over and sat down on the park bench next to her, placing his bag on the ground. 

“Tim,” she greeted “how was work?”

“Long,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “How were the twins?”

“They were great,” Wanda smiled at him. “We’ve been having a fun time with them.”

He smiled, “That's good.”

The two watched Cosmo chase the three around, climbing onto the playset to block their escape down the slide. Willow managed to get around him but climbed on top of the tube slide before spotting her father and running over.

“Dad!” She threw her arms around him.

“Hi sweetheart” he smiled down at her ���having fun?”

The girl looked up at her, eyes bright “so much fun!”

Willow began to ramble on about their day and Tim looked down at her, his smile slowly growing. He hasn’t seen her this happy and lively since before her mother died, it was nice to see her big, beautiful smile again.

—-----------

Tim hung out with his kids (and parents) for about another hour before they headed home and it wasn’t until later that he realized he had forgotten to pay them. So after they went to bed he headed over, cash in hand. 

He gave the door a quick knock and it was opened by Cosmo “Tim! Hey!”

“Hi Cosmo” he said “I just wanted to thank you and Wanda for earlier” he held out the money “and to pay you.”

“You don’t have to do that” Cosmo said “we’re family?” Tim froze and the fairy quickly backtracked “I mean we see all our neighbors as family and that includes you too!”

“Oh” he rubbed the back of his neck “thanks, but still, I should pay you guys.”

“Nope” Wanda appeared “you have nothing to owe us for.”

“Are you sure?” Tim asked “well I got to do something, what about a favor?”

Wanda considered that “why don’t you let us babysit your kids for you?”

“Huh?”

“They’re really sweet and we would love to spend more time with them!” Cosmo said. 

“I really shouldn’t…” Tim said. He knew that the more time he spent with them the more likely it was that he was going to tell them the truth. That he remembered them.

“Don’t be silly!” Wanda said “of course you can.”

Tim knew why they were offering, he knew they were trying to spend more time with him. He should say no, he should go back to avoiding them.

But at the same time… His kids had really enjoyed spending time with them and Tim knew he could trust them with the twins. Plus babysitting was yet another expense he had to pay when he was already struggling to make ends meet…

“Okay.”

He was going to regret this. But Tim couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Idea for the Deal AU

Tim (Timmy) is running late for work one day and his normal babysitter just called out sick. So, in his panic, he goes to Wanda and Cosmo who (of course) agree to watch the twins.

When he comes home (tired and stressed) W&C both refuse payment and then offer to babysit for him regularly.

Tim knows he should refuse, but he’s just so wrung out (being a 29 year old single father will do that to you) and they’re really struggling to makes ends met and having a babysitter only adds to that. And his kids keep talking about how out they love Wanda and Cosmo….

Long story short, Wanda and Cosmo are the Tunner Twins new babysitters.

[luckyrave]

Sailing Towards LuNa Part 5

What is going on all of my LuNA brothers & sisters it has been quite a very long time since I’ve represented the journey of Luffy and Nami’s relationship. If anyone is curious as to why there’s been such a hold up it’s not because I got bored of doing the build up, but more so on everything that was happening on my end in terms of family,  completing my bachelors (which I accomplished), and of course working on my book (now currently in the revision stage as of this year).  More or less it was just that I’ve had a lot on my plate in the last 2 years, and with 2020 coming to end I felt it was right to continue the journey again. You could also say the contributing factor is me finally reading The Wano Country Arc, and rewatching the anime from the beginning again.  Anyway, lets hit the show on the road from where we left off last time.

The crazy thing is I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since I’ve done one of these, and it’s crazy to think how much has happened since I started this Sailing Towards LuNa project, and I feel leaving everybody off with that hell of a cliffhanger it was pretty insane in all fairness. 

That being said,  Let’s go ahead and continue from where we last left off,  shortly after they escaped from the verge of death by the sea monster,   Nami has become ill, and when she sits up in bed you can tell... Luffy has a different reaction compared to everyone else.   He is very happy that she is up, but it’s a very simple approach unlike the others...

Despite her sicknesss, we can see Nami explaining the situation about Vivi’s hometown to Luffy and he understands the given situation at the hand.  Doesn’t matter if Nami is sick,  she is able to get through to Luffy much to her surprise. 

Not long after Luffy asks her if she’s feeling better again, but the only major difference is that he doesn’t know for sure this time around.  Which  is something Nami tries to brush off saying that she’ll be completely fine, and appreciates that Luffy is worried about her. 

Luffy checks on Nami’s temperature by placing his hand on her forehead and we can see how concerned  he gets for wellbeing to a point where he’s willing to hold off going to Alabasta and get Nami to a doctor at all costs. 

Look at how happy he is hearing Vivi’s decision in agreeance to  take a detour to ensure Nami’s health being a top priority above all else. 

This moment doesn’t feel like much, but when Nami is waking up in the middle of the night, the focus of this panel is entirely centered on Luffy being aseep.  That will come back into play a little later in due to time. 

When Luffy hears about the Island  he really wants to go see it, bu at the same time he wants to remain by Nami’s side until he’s given the okay to go.  Which is something Zoro assures of him. 

I remember this next part portrayed Luffy as slapping Nami on the face, but in the manga it is shown that he gently taps her in the face with his fingertips. No hand movements are visible within this particular moment either.  He gently taps her in the face to to assure her that he’ll carry up the drum rock.

Everyone as expected is opposed to the idea of Luffy carrying Nami all the way up there, but Nami herself tells them that she’ll leave herself in Luffy’s hands with a sweet smile on her face.  

A comment is made in the crew about how crazy Nami and Luffy are in this particular instance. That is definitely a fair point especially since Luffy takes into account that Nami’s life could be in serious danger if even one error on his part occurs throughout their way up.  

Just as Luffy carries Nami on his name he tells her specifically to hold on tight, and we get to see that right here. 

Here we can see Luffy being conflicted about his actions because of the harm that it could bring to Nami in her curent condition. At the same time, we can also see Luffy being gentle with her as he gives her his coat for extra warmth while he leaves his hat to ensure to everything will be just fine. 

In times like this it can be noted how forgetful Luffy can be, but doesn’t happen when it comes to Nami’s safety first and foremost.  He recalls everything that Sanji told him when it came to Nami’s condition about how the shock could envelop into her body, and that causes him to run away for her sake.   

In spite of all the sweat blood Luffy’s been endearing the entire way through, he reaches the exact spot he needed to be so that Nami could recover  as well as Sanji who had caught in the middle of the whole trip.

Nami’s immediate thought goes straight to Luffy who was able to carry her all the way up there, and of course there was also Sanji too who was able to give his two cents on the matter as well

A little after Nami recovers from her fever,  She invites Chopper to come join their crew, and likewise it’s something Luffy does as wel to invite the doctor reindeer onto the ship as the ship’s doctor. 

This next part of their conversation is something I don’t really see a lo mentioning, but it’s one that really stick out to me about Luffy and Nami. Through their dialogue here it paints them as a bit of an old school couple like they’ve each othr for their entire life.  Not to mention a cute moment where Nami offers Luffy to where her jacket. 

Towards the very last second Luffy comes in to save Nami from Wapool. 

Then there is the usual comedy banter moments that are present between Luffy and Nami which is really sweet, but really showcases how charming their personalities are together.  A combination of being very funny yet sweet all at the exact same time. 

There is a bitter look on Nami’s face when she recalls Kureha’s words just as she’s watching over Luffy and Chopper.  

In this regard, Luffy didn’t disappoint for even an ounce of  a second because of what he tells Chopper, and that leaves Nami with a bright smile.  

As we are shown right here below based on her facial expression. 

That is pretty much all I’ve got to say for the time being when it comes to LuNa and the journey we’ve been on for the longest time. There was a point where we’ve been stuck on a cliffhanger for the longest time, but from here on out it’s gonna be a full stop adventures as we continue Sailing Towards LuNa, and we’ve certainly still got a long way to go. 

[arcadejohn127-9]

ALSO- I have a request! Brothers (+royals if you want) reacting to an MC who is extremely affectionate once they like someones- gives hugs, praises often, gives gifts, does their best to help when they can- but if any of this affection is returned they cry. Hard. Because they're emotionally constipated and any affection or love they receive overwhelms them- this also embarrasses them extremely-

Damn.... didn't think I'd feel called out by a prompt request XD it seems my time has come!

I'm guessing royals are Diavolo and barbatos so I added them but if you ever request again and someone you wanted wasn't here, feel free to comment and I'll make sure to add them

Brothers + Diavolo & barbatos with an overly affection MC with issues

Lucifer:

He grew use to your affection ways

The words of praise when you notice he finished a work load

Or when you'd pat his head when he was tired

At first he wondered why you would handle or touch him likes he's a fragile doll but he grew to love how gentle you were

Subconsciously he'd lean his head down whenever he completed a task expecting a head pat

Even if you weren't there but if he's caught he'll just pretend he was tired

Lucifer wasn't always the most affectionate, especially as he rarely shows how much he genuinely loves the people around them

He decided to return the gesture, you recently got a high grade in a class you were struggling in

He patted your head, giving it a light ruffle

"You did good, you're improving alot - it's very promising."

Didn't expect you to start crying, aggressively shoving away your tears

"what's wrong? Did something-"

"I just- this is embarassing- you patted my head and people don't really do that for me and I just-"

"Ah, I see, then I shall do it more often."

"even in public?"

He was never a public man, wanting to get his softer side hidden in the protection of his soul and the walls surrounding his room

But here you were, crying because he simply caressed your cheek

He wants you to be happy and feel as loved as he does

So he'll happily push his walls down for you

"if it means this much to you, then yes but let's keep it appropriate."

Mammon:

"How's my handsome super model?! Did it go well? Aww you look tired, let's get you rested, okay?"

He's so in love

No one has ever made him feel this mooshy and love sick and he's ANCIENT

He's use to his brothers always insulting him - he likes a good tease and making a rude remark about each other but they tend to push it

They hit his Insecurities and think he can handle it because they're demons

But he wasn't always

Then you came along, giving him head pats and words of praise

Always standing up for him

He fell for you so quickly and so hard

He basically turns into a puppy when he's with you

When you left with Satan to get groceries he had to be forced to not go with you, waiting at the stairs for you to come back

As soon as Satan left with even your bags included, he came bolting for you

Leaping into your arms and squeezed you tight, insisting he didn't miss you but just got bored

The way he's nuzzling your cheek says otherwise

When you began crying he immediately panicked

"Did Satan do something to ya?! I swear I'll beat-"

"I'm just not use to others being as affectionate as I am back to me - it's okay."

"Huh?! Well I guess the greatest demon of all time has to be that person, that's me! Don't forget it, okay?! I'm going to smother you."

Mammon is already a touchy person but knows to be respectful, since that day his hands are always on you

Either holding your hand, touching your shoulder, petting your hair or just Hugging you

Levithan:

Levithan isn't one to give or receive when it comes to affection

He tends to get overwhelmed by just a head pat and gets embarassed if his fingers accidentally brush against yours

You're an overly affectionate person

He's a simple man who needs self worth

It's definitely a good duo

You've learned to be more vocal about your praises and affections, still testing the waters with physical touch

But from time to time he'll ask to get a head pat if he's really proud of himself

Has made you call him your little pog champ

"Levi are you- oh sorry you're streaming- I'll just leave these here."

He was confused until he saw the section dish filled with different snacks with a energy drink in the middle

He almost teared up

"No! Stay with me, they'll like you!"

In an act of no thoughts and boldness, he pulled you into his lap

You fell awkwardly and was half straddling half on his side

As soon as you got comfortable you hide your face In his neck forcing back tears

Not wanting to cry on stream

"You're so sweet, levi, I'm sure your followers can agree."

He literally short circuited

Hiding his face in your shoulder as he got flustered

"You're sweeter than me, you're always being nice to me - I really lo- like you for that."

Anyone who watched that stream now ships you - the non believers didn't believe all the stories he told about you but now they had physical proof

That stream was re-upload so many times with comps filled with him gushing about you

Levithan is determined to make sure you never see them but it's too late and you cried with joy in your room

Next time you saw him you kissed his cheek and he immediately melted

Did kiss your cheek back though but did it so quick and harsh that you stumbled backwards

Satan:

Someone being gentle to him????

Someone who doesn't keep away from his because of his sin????

Who??? What??!!

You're the who! he was SHOCKED you were so happy to get close to him and just treat him so kindly

He made a theory on the Devildom detectives group that you're actually an angel but it backfired by demons just telling him he's got feelings for you

He does but he didn't expect to get called out on a whole forum

"You're really smart, thanks for always helping me with my studies - I've found It alot easier to study and remember all my notes now, you're a good teacher!"

He's so smitten with you

You could be saying the most disgusting or insulting thing and he'd still smile and nod

He needed help getting food for this secret but really not so secret pet cat and you gladly accepted to help him

When you two were just spending time together in his room and when suddenly picked up his cat

You didn't think too much of it but grinned when he booped the cats nose onto yours

"thank you for being so kind to me- it means alot."

the cat was like you; overly affectionate so it didn't surprise you when it started gently pawing at your face and giving you little kisses

"I feel embarrassed by admitting this so I'm letting Chaos show how I feel."

He avoided looking at you

It would be for the best as you started crying, taking the cat from his hold and kissing it's head repeatedly

"and that's how I feel about you trying to move through your discomfort and be open with me."

His cheeks are BURNING

Holds your hand throughout the rest of the hang out

Asmodeus:

You're being gentle and affection despite Everyone perceiving him as a sex hungry annoyance?

You're immediately his favourite - sorry Solomon

You always understood his protectiveness over his appearance

Fixing his hair and pushing back stands if you ever pet it

You didn't need to but you always told him you washed your hands before touching his face

You always did these simple things to make him feel at ease

But he loved your touch

No matter any comment he makes; he adores you and just being able to have these tender moments with you

He knew you were special to him when you walked in on him

Barely awake, hair messy, no makeup or moisturizer - he didn't look even the slightest bit appealing

And just smiled, looking at him no differently even when his voice came out tired and croaky

"You're really pretty even when you just wake up, it's so unfair - what's your secret?"

"because it's me, darling! I always look good~"

Internally, he was freaking out about how you liked him at what he deemed - his most unattractive state

So it only made sense he became more touchy and grew closer to you

"are you sure I look good in this? I know you're very up to date with fashion."

"You look stunning, I haven't seen a bad look on you yet, perhaps your charm is just as high as mine."

He was holding your hips, smiling as you both looked in the mirror

He wrapped his arms around you, leaning on your shoulder

"I think you look good all the time, you're just amazing like that."

You tried to hide your tears but he could see them, immediately asking you what's wrong

"Nothing- I just- that means alot coming from you and you're always being so affection towards me....its really nice."

He just hugs you tighter, smiling

"I just treat you how you treat me, you're a real angel."

Beezlebub:

This guy is worried about so many things

He's scared of hurting you

He's worried if he gets carried away with touching you he'll make you uncomfortable and his gluttony will act up; wanting more of your tender touch until he feels full

The last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable or you feel forced to be affectionate to him because he could throw a fit

He's always ashamed of his hunger tantrums

But when he does do affection it's either carrying you or holding your hand

But was so happy whenever you cuddled hi against him or when you gave him praise

He could spend the whole day with you running your fingers through his hair, telling him he's a good demon and that he means something to you

"Can you finish this for me? I'm not feeling that hungry right now."

You offered your bowl to Beel, he happily took it

As you two spent time with each other he noticed you eyeing some of the more sweeter things set out on the table

He gently pushed it towards you

"Eat if you want it, I'll share."

You waved your hand, not wanting to take food from him

"I'm just snack-ish, I can't eat a meal right now."

You knew how hungry he could get and didn't want to leave him peckish

You knew that small feeling could easily turn into something bigger

But he just nudged it closer to you

"You eat what you want, I'll have what you don't finish."

You finally agreed, knowing he was insisting on you to eat with him

He patted your head, smiling as he watched you eat

"are you sure you won't still feel hungry?"

"you make me feel full, it soothes another type of hunger in me, it's nice."

He grabbed your hand, nuzzling his cheek against it, he couldn't stop smiling as you just looked at him in surprise

You finally grinned, tearing up and shook your head, you leaned against him and continued eating

Gripping his hand tighter as you pushed back your tears

Belphegor:

He was spoilt

Beel was always looking after him, helping him get ready for school and drying his hair, carrying him around when he was too tired to walk

And you were only fueling his spoilt nature

You always showered him in affection

Petting his hair whilst he laid his head on your lap, combed his tail, told him he looked cute

"My precious little belphie, are you feeling okay? I noticed you were struggling to sleep today at lunch."

Whilst he believed he looked intimidating with his heavy bags and sleepy grin

You found him adorable, treating him like a sweet innocent boy on those special nights of just you two cuddling

It's been a long time since he's felt innocent

You were always checking in on him

Making him feel special and cared for

He was a soft mess in your hands

"Hold me more, your hands feel so nice~"

He placed his hands on yours, making you gently squish his cheeks

"Don't you wanna cuddle?"

He raised a brow, a smug smile growing on his face

"it seems you want to."

"we don't have to-"

"If you wanna be held just ask, I'm more than happy to hold you."

He wrapped his arms around you, shifting his position and buried his face into your chest, humming as your hands ran through his hair

He gave you a small squeeze

"It feels good to be the one hugging you, you're always so comfy~"

He began murmuring how much he loves this time with you, drifting to sleep as he praised you, letting himself mindlessly go on about how wonderful and sweet you are until he started to snore

You let your tears fall

Holding him closer as you softly thanked him for his words

He just hugged you tighter in his sleep, his smile growing

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

This man is TOUCH STARVED

the fact you're unafraid to be with him and around him is already amazing but you freely hold his hand and pat his head

He thinks he's knocked his head and been taken to the celestial realm

People are intimidated by his title as prince and having you so care free in his company is new for him

So of course he enjoys how affectionate you are!

He embraces all your touches and praise!

He's even had you sitting on his lap during meetings, letting you hug him after a tiring day of studying

"You did great today, I really felt your passion for this new project, I think the students will really enjoy it!"

He gets so happy everytime you even look his way

Your smile alone fuels him for the whole day

"Meet me in the castle today, there's something I need you to do for me."

You agreed, not thinking much of it; most likely a new update on the school fair

What you didn't expect was to be greeted by shopping bags and gift boxes and even a human sized teddy bear with demon horns, you tried to ignore them as Diavolo came jogging down the steps

"What did you need me for?"

"I want you to see what you like, I bought as much as I could before Barbatos stopped me, I hope they're up to your liking."

You were speechless

You felt as if you touched the gifts you wouldn't be able to hold back; you were excited to see what he got but you didn't want to seem too excited

"Please, go ahead - it's all yours unless something is not up to your liking."

You finally went through the shopping bags; there was clothes, products, jewelry, shoes and all other sorts of items

You hugged the giant close to your chest, choking back on your tears

"thank you-"

"No need to thank me, you're always so kind to me I just wanted to return the favour."

Barbatos:

You were a like a breath of fresh air, someone he could just go to

He can unwind and be rewarded for his efforts and others normally don't notice

Whilst his lord was always praising him, it felt different with you

It felt so joyful

You would brush through his hair, always thank him even if he's just doing his job and always seem to be in awe at what he does

He'll never forget the gloves you gave him, sleek and a perfect fit with a cursive 'B' stitched to the edge - they were enchanted to warm up whenever he got cold

"Wow! You prepared all this?! That must of taken you ages! You're really amazing, Barb."

"I'm simply doing my job but your praise makes it all worth it."

Often invites you to the castle for tea

He'll make any excuse to have you come see him; the prince wants to talk, he wants a hand with a recipe, he needs an outsider's opinion on something

Whatever he can come up with; he will use it

You might as well just stay in one of the guest bedrooms because you're always coming to the castle

Speaking of excuses; today Barbatos decided to thank your lovely behaviour

Convincing you to come to the castle and meet him in the dining hall

"I saw you eyeing some recipes whilst helping me in the kitchen so, I made you them AND wrote down how I did it exactly so you can make them any time you like."

"I- you didn't have to do that! Thank you for this, they look delicious."

"I always wanted to give you this."

You couldn't even ask what it was

He already held it up for you to see

It was a box of gloves with your the first letter of your name stitched onto the edge

They were heat up gloves!

"I thought you'd appreciate your own as they'll always be handy but the gesture of matching with someone you're close to is very appealing."

He helped you put the gloves on, pinching the tip of your fingers to make sure they fitted properly

He held your hand, admiring how it looked in his

You couldn't stop a few tears forming, smiling

You felt abit silly crying over heat up gloves but you couldn't help it

"I want to match with you more often, perhaps one day it'll end up being a ring."

[appplepii]

tears over beers (jean kirschtein x fem!reader)

genre: angst w a happy ending, fluff, modern au

warnings: unprotected sex, mouth spitting, praise kink kinda?? choking, etc VERY NSFW hehe, fuckboy eren (slight eren x reader), mentions of alcohol and drug use

word count: 4.1k

summary:

     You don’t know your own worth, and Jean is getting sick of it.

     Jean remembers the first time he ever laid eyes on you. He remembers the way his stomach flipped when you sat in the empty seat next to him and introduced yourself, a kind smile on your face. He also remembers the moment Eren walked in and caught your eye, and the dread that laid heavy in his chest when your cheeks grew pink. Despite the fact you had just met, he couldn’t help but have distain for the boy the moment he smiled back at you, causing you to become shy and flustered. Why weren’t you nervous to talk to him?

     That’s a question the boy came to ask himself more times than he would ever admit, despite the fact that it’s been years. You and Jean had become a constant for each other, someone that was always there no matter what happened, or how much time passed. It was no question that you had become his best friend (except Marco, of course). There were certain things keeping you together that had Jean convinced it was fate keeping you in his life, from the moment you had graduated high school and decided to go to the same college that was hours away, to you working at his favorite coffee shop near the campus. That philosophy was not a strong willed one, being shot down every time you would tell him about a certain boy you were still hung up on. It was times like that that Jean thought maybe you in his life was a sort of punishment. What did he do to deserve the feeling of having what you want most in life in arms reach and never getting it?

     Years had passed at this point though, and Jean got used to the feeling of pretending he didn’t care. It got easier over time, the boy had become accepting of his fate. He was, and always will be the best friend. It was a little hard on his pride, but it definitely beats not having you in his life at all. That’s why Jean thought he would be fine when he accepted the invite to Marco’s party in which the entire friend group had been invited. A part of him was excited, knowing it had been awhile since the last reunion. Another part of him thought about the fact that he would be there, and he felt frustration slowly build inside him.

     “Ah, I’m so excited! It’s been a minute since we’ve seen everyone, huh?” The smile on your face made up his mind, knowing he could never say no to you. Jean chuckled and shook his head “Yeah yeah, it should be better than staying in that cramped dorm room doing homework” You furrowed your eyebrows, halfheartedly pushing his arm. “Oh shut up, not everyone has a mommy who can pay for a nice big apartment on this side of town.” You snickered, and Jean froze up, redness rising to his cheeks. “S-shut up! She has nothing to do with this, plus you know I’ve invited you to move in how many times now? I have an extra room that just sits empty, you know.” You shook your head and smiled “You know that my part-time job is not enough to cover rent and bills, Jean”. It was at this point Jean dropped the conversation, knowing he was fighting a lost cause. He tried explaining to you many times before he would let you stay for free, and Jean realized just how much you dislike charity work, even if it was never that to him.

     “Anyway, are you ready yet? We’re gonna be late now.” Jean ranted, looking up at the ceiling and scratching the back of his head. “Yes, you can stop complaining you loudmouth.” You bent over and put on your heel, standing back up and flattening out the wrinkles in your clothes. It was then Jean had taken a proper look at you, taking in the nicest outfit he had seen you wear in a long time, albeit quite revealing. His eyes trailed up your bare legs, and he could feel himself go slightly weak in the knees. You really were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He cleared his throat, bringing his gaze back up to your face (though unable to look you in the eyes). “Okay, we can take my car.” He grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter, opening the front door and waiting for you to walk out first. Jean’s attention was brought back to you when he noticed your hesitation. His face grew a curious expression as he looked at you expectedly. “y/n? Are you-” “Are you sure I look okay? I mean.. Eren is gonna be there, do you think he’ll like my outfit?” Your eyes were glued to the ground, and your blush had become apparent as you played with your fingers.

     Jean swallowed, pushing the dreadful and nauseous feeling from the fact you had been thinking about him down. He knew you had kept Eren in mind, but he wished he could ignore it just a little longer. “You look amazing, anyone who would pass up the chance to have you is a fucking idiot, y/n.” It was at this moment you made eye contact with the boy, the gentle smile he saw when he first met you making itself visible. “Thank you, Jean. I really couldn’t ask for a better friend.” Although you had meant it as a compliment to him, all it seemed to do was twist the knife he had in his stomach for so many years that much deeper. All he could bring himself to do was smile and nod, gesturing for you to go out the door to the car.

     He unlocked the doors to his blacked out Camaro, the top coming down to reveal black leather seats (his favorite birthday present, that car was his baby.). After opening the door for you, something he had made a habit of these past years, he got into the drivers seat. Putting the car in drive, you connected your phone to Bluetooth. He always let you play the music whenever you drove together. “Ooo, I have to turn this up!” You said enthusiastically, pushing the system in his car to its limit as you screamed the lyrics and danced. Jean let his eyes leave the road for a moment to glance at you, his heart swelling at the way your hair flew around you face from the wind. He really did have it bad when it came to you.

     “Okay, I’m pretty sure this is Marco’s new place. Should we head in now?” He asked, taking the keys out of the ignition and turning to stare at you. You heaved in a deep breath before fixing your hair in the mirror, and nodding to the boy. “Yeah, let’s go.” He said nothing as he got out of the car, immediately going to your door and opening it. That was something you had to get used to, you didn’t like to feel like you were of some importance. You let it go though, once you saw how insistent he was on doing it, ranting about how he had to be a gentleman or something like that. You grabbed the hand he offered out to you, standing up and walking to the front door of the home.

     Jean didn’t bother knocking, instead opening up the front door and walking in like he owned the place. This didn’t surprise you though, besides yourself Marco was Jean’s closest friend. The two were like brothers and you knew Jean was excited to see him after so long. “Jean! I missed that stupid face, how are you, loser?” Ymir hooked an arm around the boy’s neck, clearly already slightly intoxicated. Jean let out a string of cuss words, wrestling out of the tall girl’s strong grip as you turned your attention to her much smaller girlfriend, Historia. “Hey Historia! It’s been awhile, huh?” You smiled at the girl. She had always been so sweet, and you thought her and Ymir balanced each other out perfectly. “It has! Although it doesn’t look like those two have changed much.” You laughed at the pair and how ridiculous they looked before turning your attention to the kitchen.

     “Jean,” you tugged on this sleeve “will you come with me to get some drinks?” You didn’t let him answer, knowing it would be a yes. He silently followed you to the kitchen, smirking at himself when he realized how assertive you had become, especially when you used to be so shy. You began pouring yourself a shot of vodka, “Damn, this early?” Jean laughed as you shrugged your shoulders before downing the drink, wiping your lips on the back of your hand. “Look, we gotta get the night started somehow, right?” You raised your eyebrow as you held out the next shot you poured to his face. He gave you a smug expression, knowing you were challenging him although he has proven on more than once occasion that he can out-drink you. He kept quiet though, and threw the shot back with ease. You smiled at him, each of you taking one more just to get started.

     “Oh shit, when did you get here dude?” Marco stepped into his kitchen, going straight to Jean and did a simple handshake. “Not too long ago. Anyway, look at you! Got this big ass place all to yourself, huh?” Marco shook his head and laughed, not good at taking praise. The two friends talked for awhile, Jean feeling himself relax with the slight buzz from the alcohol. It had been only a couple minutes the conversation lasted, you talking a little when you had been mentioned. Jean’s attention was pulled from Marco when he saw you tense up from the corner of your eye, noticeably becoming more shy than you previously were. His gaze followed yours, when he was met with the one thing he really hoped not to see. 

     Eren sat on the couch, leaning back into with his arms spread out against the back of it, a beer in his hand as he occasionally took drinks from it. Your stomach turned when you saw him because fuck, he looked really good. His black long-sleeve and jeans were simple, but maybe it was the bun he had in his hair that made you almost start drooling. It took everything in Jean’s power not to let out a scoff at how obvious you were being, and how stupid the entire situation was. “Just stop, Jean. It’s not worth it. She doesn’t want you.” His own thoughts definitely brought down his happy mindset, trying his best to ignore the sympathetic look Marco was giving him. 

     He watched as Eren’s eyes met yours, his smile growing as he gestured you over to sit next to him. You got impossibly redder as you nodded and smiled, looking up at Jean and silently asking if he was okay on his own. He didn’t hold back his scoff at that, waving you off. “These are my friends too, remember? I’ll be fine, go ahead.” Your smile widened as you immediately turned and bee-lined to where Eren was sitting. The pain Jean felt had a sort of sick nostalgia to it, reminding him of the day he witnessed the blush on your face when Eren had walked through the door. Taking a deep breath and clapping his hands together, he feigned the most convincing smile he had and turned towards Marco.

“I need another shot!”

     “So what was that about?” Eren laughed lowly, tilting his head toward Jean after you took the seat he offered. “Huh? What do you mean?” You questioned, completely oblivious to what he was hinting at. “You looked like you were asking him for permission to sit with me or something, he isn’t your boyfriend or anything right?” You didn’t know why, but this comment slightly annoyed you. Maybe it was the condescending tone he put on, or the subtle diss to your best friend. You didn’t know, but it didn’t sit right. Shrugging it off you decided he probably didn’t mean in that way and you put on a smile. “Nah, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t ditching him. He’s my best friend.” Eren gave an exaggerated sigh of relief as a smug expression took over his features. “Well, that sure is a relief.” He says smoothly, putting a hand on your knee.

     You felt nothing but confusion when you didn’t get butterflies, but another hint of annoyance. What is wrong with you? You’ve liked Eren for years, this should be a dream come true! But it wasn’t, and things were moving too fast for you at the moment. It’s not like you were a “prude” or anything, you just couldn’t push down the bad feeling you had in your gut. “Uh haha, yeah! Can you give me a sec? I really have to use the bathroom!” Eren assured it was no problem, and you quickly stood up causing his hand to slip off of your knee. You walked a little faster than you normally would to the bathroom, turning and locking the door behind you. You felt nothing but frustration toward yourself, why are you being this way? Before this moment, if Eren would have asked you to hook up, you thought you would have gladly said yes. You enjoyed texting him and you found him very attractive, so what is this dread?

     You fixed your hair and outfit as much as you could, trying to freshen up before you go back into the crowded living room. On your way back to the couch where you were sitting, you decided to stop at the kitchen and take two more shots. Maybe it was your nerves and the anticipation that caused your hesitation, the alcohol should help with that. Taking a deep breath, you readied yourself and headed back to your spot. Turning your gaze to where Eren had been, you froze. There he was, with a random girl sitting on his lap as he whispered in her ear.

-

     Jean sighed, stepping into the guest bedroom and sitting on the bed. He ran his hands through his hair and silently cursed himself. He wanted to have fun, he really did. But the moment he saw that flustered expression of yours from Eren’s presence, all he wanted to do was go home and feel bad for himself. His thoughts were racing, and it was probably the alcohol but he found himself becoming more angry than sad. Why didn’t you want him? He deserved you, he had always been there and he knows he could treat you so much better than that douchebag ever could. You deserve better, and fuck, so does he.

     The sound of the door being pushed open broke him out of his thoughts, and he was more than surprised to see you entering. He could already tell you were upset, he just couldn’t put his finger on the reason why. “Weren’t you with-” “I go to the bathroom for two minutes and he immediately starts trying to get into another girl’s pants? Can you believe that? I mean honestly” You continued your rant to Jean, but it was falling on deaf ears. He was getting more and more frustrated, the feeling settling in his bones as he tried to calm himself down. “I mean we aren’t dating, but all of our friends saw me sitting with him, you know how stupid he made me look? I just-” Jean whipped his head at you, a sharp glare meeting your gaze. “You want me to be real with you, y/n? He didn’t make you look stupid. You do that yourself pretty well.” The room went dead silent. You considered for a moment he was messing with you, and you let out a laugh of disbelief. “Jean what the fuck-” He stood up from his spot, his glare only hardening.

     “No! Just stop for a second. I’m so sick and tired of you fucking complaining to me when it’s you who chooses to settle for assholes who obviously don’t care about you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re just a fucking idiot. But I know you’re not, and thats what frustrates me so much, you know that? You treat yourself like shit and then want me to be there to be the person who makes you feel better. I can’t do it anymore, I really can’t.” His voice had risen a little, but that wasn’t what got to you. It was the seriousness in his tone, you knew he was being genuine. Your eyes welled up with tears, feeling like you just got punched. “Jean, I-”

     “Let me finish y/n. I have always been there for you. Always. Despite the fact that you never got over Eren. Every time he ghosted you, who was there? You know what that’s like? To watch the person you’ve been in love with for years settle for the first asshole who comes her way? Do you have any idea what that does to me? You do realize you’ve been fucking torturing me for the last four years, right?” Your mouth went completely dry, and for the first time since this conversation began, you looked him in the eyes and felt even worse when you saw the glassiness of them. Your breath got shallow as your emotions intensified, your mind racing of all the times you had literally cried on his shoulder, and you thought of how bad he must have been hurting. He kept it to himself for your sake, not wanting you feel upset or worry about him, and you never noticed a thing. Fuck, how could you have been so selfish?

     You didn’t even think about it, your body moving on what felt like autopilot when you grabbed the boy by his collar and pulled him into a kiss. He stiffened, obviously very surprised at your action, before putting his hands on your shoulders and pulling back. His face was a cherry red when he searched your features, shaking his head with a sad expression. “y/n, I don’t want you to do this out of pity. Plus, you’re probably shit-faced right now.” You shook your head and put your hands on his wrists, keeping eye contact with him. “I’m only buzzed Jean, and this isn’t out of pity. A part of me has always loved you. I just have a habit of ruining things in my life and I really didn’t want you to be one of them.” Your eyes got impossibly wetter and a part of you was surprised they hadn’t fallen down your cheeks yet.

     Jean remained silent for what seemed like hours as he examined you expression. His eyes softened and you heart stopped when his hand went to the back of your neck to pull you into another heated kiss. It was a natural reflex the way you gripped onto the front of his shirt, your heart beating at a race you didn’t even know was possible. “Damn, he's a good kisser.” you thought to yourself. You gasped slightly at the feeling of his tongue brushing against your bottom lip. You deepened the kiss and fell back on the bed, pulling him down with you. He pulled away, breathing heavily when a smile grew on his face. “Where are you?” He got up from his position on top and walked to the door, turning the lock with a click. He stalked back to where you were sitting, standing between your legs as he towered over you. “I’ve waited for this for years, I’m not going to wait any longer.”

      Excitement bubbled in your stomach as you looked up at him, a slight pout to your lips. Jean reached his hand down to your face, squeezing both of your cheeks to even further tilt your gaze towards him. “How about it then, pretty girl? Wanna have some fun?” You didn’t hesitate to respond, trying your best to nod in his tight grip. “Yes, please Jean, please.” Although your voice was a little muffled, Jean got the message loud and clear. He gave a soft smile, furthering his hand down to lightly squeeze your throat instead. “Okay then, open wide angel.” You felt a little confused but listened anyway, opening your mouth wide for the boy above you. “What is he gonna-” your thoughts were cut off when you watched, almost in slow motion as Jean leaned over and spit into your open mouth. You froze for a fraction of a second, your mind racing as the excitement grew within you. That’s not what you were expecting but you were not complaining. Jean’s long index finger tilted your chin up, closing your mouth as he kept eye contact with you. “Swallow.” He said in a gentle yet demanding tone, and you knew you couldn’t make yourself say no to him. You swallowed the spit slowly, choosing to keep quiet and wait for his next move.

     “Look at you, such a good girl.” he pushed your body further up the bed so you were laying rather than sitting and once again hovered over you. “Gonna have to thank you for that, huh?” You squeezed your thighs together at his words, anticipation growing impossibly higher. He sat back on his calves, sitting between your legs as he spread them apart around him. His fingers ghosted up your legs, stopping at the hem of your shorts. He didn’t move an inch after that, looking at you expectedly. “Well, I’m waiting? You know all good girls ask nicely, right?” He couldn’t stop the smug expression from taking over even if he tried. You squirmed in his hold, desperate for some sort of contact. “Please Jean, I can’t wait anymore. I need you.” You closed your eyes as you felt him unbutton your shorts, sliding them off with ease along with your panties. “Gotta make sure you’re comfortable baby, tell me if it hurts, kay?” He slowly entered a finger inside you, his thumb circling around your clit slowly. Your lip was pulled in between your teeth as you bit down hard enough to almost draw blood. “Oh, fuck.” He softly laughed at that, going slightly faster to elicit more reactions from you. “That’s right baby, lemme hear you, yeah?” You didn’t hold back, letting out a moan knowing the music blasting outside would drown it out. Jean added another finger and your eyes rolled to the back of your head, you had never felt bliss like this before.

     “E-enough Jean.” You let out through strained breaths, and Jean felt himself grow cold for second with fear. Fuck, were you regretting this? “I don’t want to wait anymore, I want you inside me. Please.” Jean’s chest filled with relief as he shook his head at you. “You needy baby, alright, I’ll give you what you want.” Jean pulled his fingers out of you, and stuck them in your mouth with no hesitation. “You sure you ready for me, sweet girl?” He pulled his pants and boxers off, lining himself up with you. You nodded frantically, putting your hands on his shoulders and pulling him down for a kiss. Jean pushed himself into you, pulling away from the kiss to let out a deep groan as his head fell onto your shoulder. “Fuck, you feel so good around me baby. You’re so good for me, you know that? I’ve wanted this for so long and it’s more than I could have ever imagined.” He ranted on almost senselessly as he was overwhelmed with emotion. “I love you so much, sweet girl. So so much.” You felt tears prick your eyes, from both the pleasure and his sentiment. “I love you Jean, I love you.” those words had more of an affect on him than anything else you said that night, and he felt himself coming close to the edge. “I think I’m gonna-” “Me too baby” he interrupted, placing his hand back on your throat and squeezing. “Cum with me, angel.” His words and the pressure on your neck was enough to send you over, raking your nails down his back leaving marks. He collapsed on top of you, his head resting in your neck as a tired smile rested on his face. You brought your hand up to scratch his scalp, completely fuck-drunk and forgetting of anything else that happened prior to this moment.

     “So that’s why you always open my car door for me, huh?”

✧༺☆༻∞

omg omg im so nervous to post this, not only is it my longest fic but this is the first time i have ever written anything remotely smutty before😳 if its not good pls be patient w me i am very new to this hehe

[thewayshedreamed]

Nessian prompt:

We’re playing truth or dare and I just got dared to sit on your lap for the next two rounds but now I’m sitting on your hard-on and I’m kinda getting turned on cuz the ✨positioning✨. We’re both tryna fix the situation without drawing attention to us but the fidgeting definitely isn’t helping 👀

Thanks for the prompt, Bby! I know you sent it as part of my follower celebration, but it worked so well for @nessianweek Day 4: Rivalry that I couldn't pass it up.

Enjoy!

Warnings for strong language and mature themes. Slightly nsfw.

--

Nesta didn't know the last time she played Truth or Dare. She thought those days had left her at some point during undergrad, but apparently not. There she was, her last semester of graduate school, somewhat invested in a round of the game. The group had been playing for almost an hour, the drinks they poured becoming more and more stout as the night went on.

Gwyn and Emerie had convinced her to join them for a night out with the others, and to be fair, it had been quite some time since she'd allowed herself a carefree night out. Her sisters and Mor were there, as well as Rhys, Azriel, Cassian, and Lucien. Amren mentioned she would "see how things went", which meant she and Varian were staying in to fulfill their own agenda. There was no doubt that was for the best since their activities would likely scar them all.

It was Mor's turn, and her mischievous smile turned on her girlfriend. "Truth or Dare, Em?"

Emerie considered it for a moment, making a show of staring at the ceiling. One of the guys made a sound similar to a ticking clock, but she paid them no mind.

"Truth."

"Okay," Mor drawled, taking a long sip of wine. "Fuck, Marry, Kill; for Rhys, Azriel, Cassian."

Emerie's eyes grew wide, snapping to Feyre and back to Mor. Nesta dared to chuckle at her friend's tight position, earning a pointed glare reserved for the worst of traitors.

"Don't hesitate on my account," Feyre giggled, resting her head on Rhys' shoulder. "I'm curious."

"That's not a fair one!" Emerie argued, gesturing with her hands. "The answer is none of the above, on all counts. For more than one reason."

The three men had the audacity to look miffed at her rejection, even though none of them had any interest in Emerie. They'd all known each other too long for any blurred lines. Mor leaned heavily against her, a look of apology in her rounded, brown eyes.

"Fair enough," she conceded, pressing a kiss to Emerie's cheek.

"That's not how it works!" Cassian challenged. It was unclear whether his ego or strict principles motivated his outburst.

Nesta fought the urge to roll her eyes, to rise to the challenge in his voice like she usually did. But Emerie was her friend, and she wasn't going to take him pushing her lying down. The words left her with more snark than usual.

"Oh, would you come off it?"

His eyes snapped in her direction, locking in on her face like a predator circling prey. "Let me guess. You have an opinion."

Nesta's blood boiled, despite the fact that she told herself Cassian wouldn't get under her skin the next time they were around each other. She was 0 for... hundreds at that point.

"She answered it truthfully, so I don't see the problem."

"It's the way the question was framed, though. It's a game within the question. There were three options. 'None of the above' wasn't one of them."

Nesta loosened the reins on her eye rolling. Cassian was good for that. "No one made that rule."

"Sweetheart, the rules are pretty clear. But if you want to make sure they stay nice and loose so you can back out later, I get that."

Emerie cleared her throat, eager to redirect his challenge before the two of them escalated. "Show us how it's done, then. Truth or Dare, Cassian?"

His attention lingered on Nesta a moment longer, a familiar glint in his eyes. Her blood heated for an entirely different reason, and she was sure to berate it for doing so.

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss Azriel," she said, grinning around the rim of her glass. "On the mouth."

Azriel pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, resigned to his fate. He knew Cassian better than anyone, and it was only a matter of time.

Without hesitation, Cassian said, "Oh, done. Tongue?"

A chorus of laughter drowned out Azriel incredulous curse in Cassian's direction. When she finally recovered, Emerie took mercy on Azriel and excused any tongue. Cassian didn't hesitate to lean toward Azriel, cupping him roughly by the back of the neck and planting a full kiss to his mouth. There were catcalls all around; not at all needed in the encouragement department.

Azriel turned his attention to Feyre, fully succumbing to his soft spot for her and letting her off on the easiest Truth ever. It was something to do with who she would most like to draw or paint of the lot of them, excluding Rhys. No surprises on her choice of Azriel himself, but to his credit, he didn’t preen at the compliment. He humbly nodded as if anyone alive wouldn’t want to catch those angles on canvas.

“Nesta,” Feyre called, interrupting another quip she had been prepared to launch Cassian’s way. She couldn’t remember why. “Truth or Dare?”

She took a long pull of her drink and licked her bottom lip. “Dare.”

“Hmm,” Feyre considered, and Nesta had to admit to being slightly terrified of how diabolical sibling could be in a game such as the one she played. It didn’t take long for her to realize she’d been right to feel that way. “I think you two need to learn to get along. I dare you to sit on Cass' lap. Minimum of two full turns.”

Nesta’s nostrils flared. Cassian’s red hot challenge bore a hole into the side of her head, and all she could hear was his taunt from before.

Sweetheart, the rules are pretty clear. But if you want to make sure they stay nice and loose so you can back out later, I get that.

She snapped her attention to his face, suppressing the urge to throttle him for the narrow-eyed smirk he offered. Angling his large body backward, he draped a muscled arm across the back of the couch and eased his thighs open. Cassian wouldn't be the one to back down, she realized.

"Fine." Nesta threw back the rest of her drink and set it roughly on the nearby table.

Cassian's eyes were sparkling, his smile feline. He tapped his thigh with his free hand to goad her, and she wondered if he— if they— would ever tire of the constant challenges. Nesta sauntered over and dropped heavily into the center of his lap, earning a loud oof.

"Fuck, Sweetheart," he fussed, gripped her waist in his large hands to rearrange their position.

The heat of his hands, the scrape of his calluses; they came together to monopolize her focus. She was almost sure that others were amused by their display, but her world was singularly focused.

Cassian cleared his throat while he eased her into a position that better balanced her weight. The tension eased from her thighs as she settled, only for him to shift her again. Nesta let out an exaggerated sigh at his constant fidgeting. The only silver lining to the near motion sickness she'd no doubt endure as a result was the steadiness of his grip against her.

The reason for all his maneuvering revealed itself seconds later. Nesta had been initially impressed with the muscle tone in his thighs, how firm the muscles felt beneath her. They were nothing in comparison to the very obvious hardness pressing against the swell of her ass.

Animated conversation continued around them, and Nesta took the opportunity to turn and offer an accusatory glare. He hissed against the pressure of her movement, sending her eyebrows into her hairline.

"Are you really h—"

"Shh!" Cassian ordered, clamping a hand over her mouth. "Can you not announce that shit to the entire room?"

Nesta blinked incredulously and dragged her tongue against his palm. He grimaced, rubbing his palm against his jeans as if she'd poured acid onto his skin.

"It's not my fault you can't... control that," she hissed.

"Well, shit, Nesta. When's the last time you had a beautiful woman on your lap and had to keep your boner in check?" His whisper was low, frantic. There were words that latched onto her nerves and left goosebumps in their wake, even when she barely heard them.

"It's only two turns," she managed, swallowing against the dryness in her throat. "Then, it'll be a non-issue."

Cassian's hands clung to her hips once more, the delicious grip of them even firmer than before. "You can't get up now; not in front of them." He gestured with a jerk of his chin to the rest of the room. "They're savages."

A laugh bubbled out of Nesta's chest, and surprisingly, it was more due to the unlikely alliance forged by biology than her pleasure in his panic. The irony wasn't lost on her, but she didn't get to dwell on it for long before Cassian started strategizing.

"We're supposed to get along, right?" He paused, waiting for the excessive noise level to settle around them. Someone must have performed a solid dare, and Nesta was mildly concerned that it hadn't managed to be a blip on their radar. "You're gonna have to keep fighting with me."

A smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. "To be clear, you want me to argue with you so that we can hide this?" She rocked back into him for emphasis, and a pained sound left him. Nesta was grateful for the small silver lining that was her private arousal, otherwise she and Cassian would be in the same boat. The way his eyelids fluttered didn't help.

"I'm asking your for a small favor. When I get my shit together, you're free to go. I'm not exactly happy about it either."

Another smile teased her lips. "Small?"

"Mother's tits. Just turned around."

Nesta complied, if for no other reason than to hide the chuckle she'd been trying to choke down throughout the conversation. They engaged with the others as nonchalantly as possible, ignoring each other completely until opportunities arose to take opposing stances on anything at all. The rules of the game. Who brought the best drinks. If someone had successfully completed their dare or answered their question. Cassian had been correct in assuming the group would advocate for their continued canoodling since they weren't yet cooperating with one another.

"Nesta," he almost growled, sometime after a dozen turns of their faux discord. "This isn't helping."

She whipped around, noting the pained expression on his face. "Wait, is this working for you?"

Cassian squeezed his temples between his thumb and middle finger, looking as if he was in as much disbelief as her. The tragic part was that the arguing hadn't curbed her own body's reactions to him, either.

"That's what it looks like."

Nesta didn't cage it then, the full and melodic laughter that shook her shoulders and made her eyes water. He continued bracing his head in his hand while she delighted in his torture.

"That's awfully kinky of you."

"Alright, enough out of you," he grumbled, situating her for the hundredth time. "You have any better ideas?"

Tears pooled in her eyes, and she flicked them away. "I guess your only choice is to wait until the game ends, or someone causes enough commotion for you to adjust and take a break for a few minutes."

Cassian huffed, clearly unimpressed with her tactics.

"You'll just have to trust me, of all people, to keep your secret in the meantime," she stated, turning her attention back to the room.

His only response was a muttered curse before she felt his forehead drop between her shoulder blades.

[spicysoftsweet]

A Thorn In The Side - Gojo x Reader

Summary: Infatuation enduring from high school is more of a problem than you or he think (~3.4k words).

Warnings: fem pronouns, fem!reader, noncon, kidnapping, yandere, wlw mention, gojo is a pos

A/N: Part of @suedebunn​‘s Hanahaki collab! 

When the strongest jujutsu sorcerer to have ever lived wakes up in the early am with the sensation of thorns scratching his throat and fullness in his stomach, he’s baffled.

Even more so when he doubles over in bed to cough profusely to the point of near emesis, shocking for a man who rarely gets sick. He stares blankly at a pillow covered in droplets of flecks of red, and his eyes widen with trepidation, until he realizes those large drops strewn across his bed come from flowers rather than blood.

He must be dreaming, Gojo Satoru tells himself, but the satiny feel of the scarlet petals between his fingertips is very real.

Or perhaps a curse.

“So you expect me to diagnose you over the phone?” 

Shoko pulled a drag of her cigarette as though for dramatic effect, blowing it out with a sigh, but continued to listen. She had to be up early anyway and ignoring Gojo would only make him more annoying in her experience.

“So what are your symptoms again?” she asked.

“Apparently my insides are trying to match my beautiful outsides~” he sang.

Shoko rolled her eyes, and as though he could see her, Gojo laughed loudly.

“In all seriousness, I’m turning into a garden. Coughing up flowers apparently.”

“Coughing up flowers, huh?” She leaned a little further against her balcony, her eyes setting on the early morning sunrise she could view from her high rise apartment. “Do you think it’s some type of curse?”

“It’s… different,” he replied, somewhat noncommittally. “I don’t think it’s cursed energy, actually.”

This was unexpected.

“What else do you feel?”

“Uneasy…”

It was Shoko’s turn to laugh. An interesting choice of words coming from him.

“Any ideas?” Gojo insisted.

“I mean, it could be some kind of undetectable curse. I’d know if I got to see you… How does your heart feel when you cough up the flowers?”

“It races.”

“Your mind?”

“Also races… lightheaded.”

“Any thoughts?”

“None.”

“As expected.” she teased, laughing again until she realized that for once, Gojo was silent on the other end of the phone. She scratched her head, then ran her fingers through her fingertips.

“Come in at 2pm today, okay? Don’t be late.”

---

“Well, you’re right,” Shoko stated, stepping back from the examination table, and crossing her arms as she set herself down on a stool to formulate her assessment. 

Her friend, already graced with the palest of color palettes, did actually look ill, dark circles prominent enough to match hers marring his porcelain skin. He sat, legs spread apart, and leaning onto the weight of his hands besides him, raising an eyebrow quizzically..

“It’s not cursed energy, alright,” she said, with a sigh. She stretched out her hand.

“You brought the sample, right?” 

Gojo, uncharacteristically a bit listless, tossed her the bag of vomited petals from this morning, covered in now dry saliva and other fluids. Not batting an eyelash, Shoko slipped on a pair of gloves and felt inside the bag, petals crumbling at her fingertips.

Definitely not cursed energy. She placed the bag on a disorganized counter behind her, making a mental note of scrutinizing it further under a microscope.

“Ideas?” Gojo asked after he’d decided that the time he’d given her to think was enough. It turned out the idea of being sick irritated him more than he expected. 

The very idea of being vulnerable made him slightly nauseous.

Shoko let out a chuckle that sounded more nervous than she had intended.

“My only other thought is Hanahaki disease.”

“Hanahaki?” Gojo repeated.

“Yeah,” she stated. Crossing her legs, she relaxed into her stool further as she watched the young man carefully. “Who’s the unlucky one?”

“You mean?”

“Who’s the unfortunate soul you’re in love with?” She asked again, waiting for his response. The truth was that she was quite shocked at the idea of Gojo being afflicted with Hanahaki, that he of all people could have such a pure, destructive form of love given his track history.

She’d known him long enough to know that his body count was near ridiculous.

He tilted his head, then burst into laughter.

“Myself, duh.”

“Well, auto-Hanahaki isn’t a thing, but I suppose if it was, you’d be the one to be afflicted with it.”

She decided not to press further. “Whoever it is, I’d recommend you settle your feelings as soon as possible,” she added. “People don’t usually die from this but you look surprisingly like shit so I’d be careful.”

Gojo ran a hand through his hair, hopping off the table and pulling back on his shirt.

Settling his feelings may be more complicated than either of the two of them expected.

---

You were in the middle of your drive home when Shoko’s name finally flashed on your dashboard. Grinning, you picked up on the car speaker, mischief in your voice.

“It’s 7:03 and you promised me you’d call at 7 sharp, babe. What do you have to say for yourself?” 

“You’re going to hold 3 minutes against me?” Her sultry voice filled your ears as you made the last turn between the grocery store and your apartment, and you hoped she’d be inside your home waiting for you so that you could actually hold something tangible against her.

“I did say I wasn’t going to tolerate you being late for anything anymore, didn’t I?” You teased.

“Bold declaration for someone who isn’t even home yet,” Shoko retorted.

In minutes, you were walking through the door, arms charged with bags full of groceries for dinner you’d planned to cook together. Shoko greeted you with a kiss on the forehead as you placed them on the counter.

“Did you miss me?”

You did, but you stuck out your tongue at her instead. Her hand intertwined with yours briefly before you separated to unpack items for dinner.

“I promise I’ll be less busy,” she offered as the two of you worked in tandem. Your stomach was already growling, so the sooner you had food on the table, the better.

“It’s no problem,” you replied, and you meant it only half-heartedly. It’s true she was less busy than a regular civilian doctor, but it seemed recently that her clinic was getting overrun with more and more curse victims. Things had been bad recently in the world, you figured. 

You were happy to step back from the world of sorcery, but small reminders like these persisted.

“Did you still manage to fit Gojo in today?”

She had complained earlier today that Gojo always managed to make a bad day worse.

“Mmm,” is what she offered over the sound of chopping vegetables. You understood that she couldn’t say more, on top of the fact that any discussion of Gojo was already a sore subject. It didn’t have to be, and it shouldn’t have been, but this was what it was.

“Hope he’s okay,” you offered, as you turned on the stove.

“He’ll be fine,” she replied, her voice now quieter than usual.

---

The first and last time Gojo fell in love was in the spring of his third year, he suddenly recalled in the middle of a tryst, as an upsettingly subpar blowjob allowed his mind to wander. The young woman whose gags sounded almost theatrical when compared to the amount of pleasure he was actually receiving was starting to get on his nerves, but instead he took matters in his own hands, wrapping her long ponytail around his wrist before guiding the back of her head so she took him deeper.

If she was gonna choke, she should commit to it.

He’d fallen in love with you at first sight. It was a strange feeling for him to immediately be enamored with someone upon first glance instead, having always been the recipient of many an awe-filled or fawning look.

You were a transfer from the sister school, already a rare occurrence, and what was even rarer was the fact that you both had little affinity to jujutsu and little interest in getting better. One could wonder why you even showed up in the first place, much less why you’d moved from one school to the other. 

You’d quit as expected just before graduation, but not before you caught his eye. 

“You’re pretty shitty at this,” he’d remarked, attempting to win you over with humor when he’d been assigned to you for both orientation and possible tutoring. “Of course, you can always ask me for help,” he added, flashing pearly whites at you.

He was the opposite of successful in wooing you.

“I suppose since this comes easy to you, this is just funny, right?” You’d quipped.

Your words cut more than both you and he anticipated, but it didn’t exactly matter. You were not interested in him, the way he was interested in you. 

But Shoko was different.

You became fast friends and upon your departure from the technical college, you’d remained in contact despite withdrawing from everyone else related to magic. 

Even if Gojo tried many times to either bring you back to this world you’d left behind or be part of your new one, you’d rebuffed him every time. Harshly. 

“I don’t know why you expect everyone to worship you,” was the last thing you’d said to him. “I’ve already made it clear that I don’t want to be part of this life,” you’d insisted. “Why would I change my mind just because you asked me to?”

You were right. 

And yet you loved Shoko.

The young woman whose name he’d forgotten’s face was now pressed against his pubic bone and she now began to squirm, slapping and scratching at him like some kind of trapped animal as she struggled to breathe, reminding him that he’d daydreamed for too long.

“Sorry,” he offered, as he released his grip, leaving her to sputter and choke. Looking at her, knowing that she was not you suddenly made him want to choke himself, to bring forth that impromptu garden of unrequited feelings.

He patted her on the back gingerly, and once it looked like she’d restabilized, pulled her in for another kiss. 

If only her lips tasted like yours.

---

Shoko’s hand glided against the curve of your hips, taking in the image of you sleeping softly on your side, facing her. She dipped down to kiss your nose; it was the only time the fact that she had such an issue with sleep benefited her, this ability to almost always wake up before you.

You looked incredibly peaceful while sleeping, and she had to admit this angelic view of you was even better than your features twisted in a pleasured mewl (not that it wasn’t a close battle).

There was a nagging concern in the pit of her stomach, however.

Gojo suffering from unrequited love could be a problem, if the object of his affections did happen to be you. But it had been years ago that he’d pursued you unsuccessfully, why present now?

Why present to her office of all people? Gojo could be inconsiderate, but not to this extent. 

But what if he didn’t know that this was what he was feeling? Suppressed feelings taking root and morphing themselves into the tangible he couldn’t ignore?

She sat up, resting her back against the backboard, the lack of a cigarette between her lips being palliated with the gnaw of her thumbnail. 

It couldn’t be. Not you. 

Please, not you.

---

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Shoko checked in about a week later.

Gojo didn’t share that he’d spent the entire morning in a coughing fit of petals, now definitely streaked with blood, and the entire last night vomiting enough flowers into the toilet that it had overflowed.

He didn’t comment on the entire scarlet sage plants with large green leaves that threatened to sprout from every orifice, not just his throat, but his ears and nostrils, possibly from behind his eyes.

He didn’t know what was next, only that it was getting worse.

The constant fire in the pit of his stomach, the shivers, the chills, the incessant flash of you running through his mind, your name moaned in the darkness, his body drenched in sweat.

The fact that he knew it was because he loves you and cannot find an alternative for you.

The fact that he must have you, and only you.

“Has it gotten better or worse?” Shoko asked.

“I’m fine,” Gojo reassured her, masking the exhaustion in his voice, and she made the mistake of believing him.

---

You awoke in darkness with an icy cold searing into your skin.

It took you a moment to let your eyes adjust to the light and for your body to resume the motor control it had briefly relinquished in sleep before you could reorient yourself. You were laying on ground of some sort, maybe hardwood which implied that you were in some kind of building. 

Your head throbbed viciously as you shifted slowly to a sitting position and you almost expected there to be blood as you ran your hands over the back of your head, checking for injury. But there was nothing, just the normal feel of your hair, and the steady thump of your temples in time with your pounding heart.

Looking around, your eyes soon fixed to the low light, not actual darkness to center on a figure in the center of the room.

You let out a gasp of surprise.

Gojo.

Not only had it been a while and he was the last person you expected to see, he looked stranger than he ever had.

He sat perched on a chair backwards, chin leaning on the top of the backrest. His head was tilted, and he watched you warily but fixedly through eyes that looked sunken into their orbits. Their clear blue was still sharp in the darkness.

His skin had taken on an almost ghostly cast to match his hair, and he was thinner than you remembered as though he had been slowly withering away since the last time you saw him. That was ages ago.

Your limbs froze in anticipation. You didn’t have to be a genius to recognize that whatever was happening or was about to happen was bad.

“Why did you bring me here?”

He stared at you blankly for a moment, unmoving. If he weren’t so extraordinarily fatigued, he would have sat up straighter in his chair and offered you a smile. You were still as pretty as the day he first laid eyes on you, after all. What a welcome sight.

“I guess I missed you,” he responded instead, quietly. 

Your teeth gritted as you flared up in indignation.

“Excuse me?”

He cut you off with a loud, exasperated sigh, mustering the little bit of energy he had left to run a hand through his hair.

“Listen, I thought I’d forgotten myself, but it turns out that I’m being betrayed by my own body.”

As though to add effect, a coughing fit began just at the end of his sentence, and you watched as he spat flowers into the palm of his hand, lowering them for you to see.

“And it seems like you’re the cause of this.”

Your eyes widened as you took in the sight of bloody petals falling through his fingertips and hitting the ground.

He was completely out of his mind.

“I…,” you shakily got yourself up to your feet, not letting your gaze leave Gojo for a second. He didn’t get out of the chair, but he did shift so that he leaned back in the seat, a wicked smile on his face.

“You...?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You spat. “Where the hell am I and how did I get here?”

He finally did get up, although it was done in a dramatic, strained movement. He really had lost weight, you noticed, picking up the flash of pale wrists before he shoved his hands in his pocket.

“I know it sounds crazy but apparently, according to your girlfriend, I’m suffering from lovesickness.”

He bared more of his teeth now, looking more like a grimace than a grin by this time. “I didn’t believe it either, but then I started seeing you in my mind every single waking moment.”

In the split second it took for you to blink, he had crossed the distance between you, so that he was now in your personal space, the palm of his hand inappropriately caressing your face, as tender as you’d expect from Shoko.

And you immediately jumped back and backhanded him as hard as you could.

The crack of your hand was loud and exaggerated, reverberating in the room. For a moment, you froze in shock, surprised the slap had actually landed, before shaking out your now burning hand and following up with a hiss.

“Don’t you fucking touch me.”

Gojo’s icy blue eyes glint, demonic in their delight.

“That’s the feisty bitch I remember.”

---

It was nearing 24 hours since you’d failed to reply to Shoko’s text and the normally collected woman was terribly anxious.

She’d stayed at work late, and still, not a single message from you. 

The nagging feeling in the back of her mind returned.

What if it were you?

Gojo couldn’t be that insane, could he?

When she entered your home to find traces of red salvia scattered throughout your home, it only confirmed her fears.

---

“I don’t want to do this either. I mean it.”

It was hard to believe him when he seemed to savor every brush of the lips as he trailed kisses along your inner thighs, spread open with the force of his hands. Gojo had always been deceptively strong, even now, when it looked like he was wilting just as much as the flowers he coughed up. 

Your wrists were bound to a fixed point at the head of a foreign bed, and your ankles to the bedposts anteriorly to prevent you from fighting. Not that you would have been able to fight back anyway, but the severe fatigue permeating his very bones made him less willing to risk anything.

When his lips made it to your center to circle your clit, you writhed in disgust, forcing back the sighs of pleasure that would inevitably ensure.

“Y-you can’t - ah - make me love you…”

Gojo paused the swishing of his tongue to give you a look that reeked enough of apathy that it was almost startling.

“I’m aware, but there’s no harm in trying.”

---

“Where the fuck is she?”

Satoru had the ostentatiousness within him to receive the phone call on speaker, so that you could hear Shoko beg to find out your whereabouts.

“She’s with me,” he replied, calmly to her, holding the phone in one hand and pumping fingers in and out of your slippery cunt with the other. 

By this time, Gojo had gotten tired of your expletives which no longer retained the initial cute charm, so your screams for help were muffled by a gag over your own wet panties shoved into your mouth.

He’d been at this for hours.

There was a pause on the phone from Shoko’s end that sounded like something crashing to the ground, maybe a plate breaking.

Her tone changed immediately.

“P-please don’t hurt her.”

“I’m not.”

He glanced at you who glared back at him with reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You looked even prettier when you were so totally helpless.

“I would never,” he added.

The pump of his fingers slowed but did not stop.

“This won’t fix you,” Shoko warned, almost in a low protective hiss, her own voice breaking. “This won’t fix anything, you bastard.”

He cut off the phone abruptly, and let out a sigh before shifting his attention back to you.

“Where were we?”

---

Maybe if I pretend, he’ll stop?

Or will he continue? Will I just affirm that he won?

His thrusts were relentless, as was the constant tugging at your hair, the teeth sinking into every inch of your skin, the moans and groans whispered into your ears or your bosom.

A violation in every sense of the word.

You were running out of tears.

The fact that it’s pointless, you and he both know it. Your true love knows it, that this is just an excuse to get back at you. For what? Rejection? 

He would die anyway. You would never return his feelings, if there even truly were any. 

He continued to rut into you, and flowers started to stain every inch of your bodies, covering them in a deep scarlet.

Red. Red. Red.

Blood. Rage. Power. Passion.

You probably didn’t need the restraints anymore. You had no fight left in you. 

Just the satisfaction, however small, that regardless of what he did to you, he would still eventually succumb to nature and perish in a bed of putrid efflorescence.