#describe to a 5 year old | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alastorsdeeryfan · 6 months ago

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Describe Alastor to a 5yo

... You just want to make my life hard.

so... oh damnit.

So basically, Alastor is someone who likes to eat... special food... and do you like deers? He is a deer! but also a person... He's very strong... He can lift up Husk! That's cool, isn't it?

...

YÆY

Ok. That was it. Goodbye.

#hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #describe to a 5 year old

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solargeist · 4 months ago

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i wonder if anyone has seen kid Xelqua out of context and thought he was a ship fankid 🤔

but no he’s the result of some fucked up quantum (??) divine (??) asexual reproduction

#no person was involved. no sex was involved.#nor has he ever been a baby . spawned in at 5 #well actually spawned in at ////// years old but he’s 5 now 🤔#y’know what it sounds like I’m almost describing Jesus I’m gonna stop ✋#grian is NOT the virgin mary #canonically not a vi-

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uitzinnigmp3 · 9 months ago

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dude ever since learning that bite the hand is abt artist / fan relationships it feels so much more poignant. heres the best part distilled for you but you want what i can't give to you..... i can't love you how you want me to..... yeah dude. shit.

#boygenius #also the line 'you want what i can't give to you' with all the questions abt their hiatus rn.#'oh when is the next project then' dude. they have given us an amazing record with an incredible ep to go with it. isnt that enough?#this is what they wanted to give us rn! and it's so good so why do we keep asking for more!#(ofc we're asking for more bc we love the music and would love to hear new stuff but like. yknow what i mean)#just . kinda unrelated but i feel so stupid for not realising this earlier when the first verse is literally describing a concert lmao #anyway. not a 6 year old song making me feel feral rn. lol. lmao even #*ALMOST six years old sry. it's still got half a year of being 5 #s.txt

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wildshadowtamer · 7 months ago

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its wild walking into a fandom and immediately clocking a fandom behaviour towards a female character that just feels. so wrong. but everyone's acting like its perfectly normal so your not even sure if its wrong or if your just reading into it too much. am i going mad is this mic on

#anyway this is about how the stardew valley fandom treat pam #particularly the sdv youtubers #like hm i wonder why your giving a deep masculine voice to the one female character in the game that isnt especially feminine #saw a thumbnail about 'whos sebastians dad!?' and pam was part of the lineup #like hm.#i dont know what word applies to that but its Not Good #they never do a super high fem voice for any of the guys either #so its not like its 'just a headcanon'#like theres just something so wrong about the way those youtubers describe pam #its not even the old videos from like 5 or 6 years ago ive seen it in like year old videos

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egoborderline · 3 months ago

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Whoever invented major depression with year(s) long episodes/groups of episodes should be vaporized i think

#Technically I think the episodes can only last for weeks or months #But mine for whatever reason occurs in clusters spaced years apart so it feels like #5 years on then 5 years off #My old therapist always said that I am largely resilient unless it's sufficiently large stressor occurs in which case it completely fucks m #For a while #Takes so long to get back up #I am sure this presentation is not uncommon. it blows big time doesn't it?#This is an embarrassingly personal post and I will delete it but right now I just need to get it out somewhere #Also weed is really not helping right now. It's fine when I'm doing well but it sabotages at me my lowest #I was really trying my best to get less keep less in the house etc and then Evan's mom without knowing this of course #Says that she feels like she needs a break and gives us...as Evan describes...a “Willy Wonka amount of weed”#😩 truly a blessing and a curse #I'll manage this just makes it harder. She was so generous too #I'm going to go do some planning to kickstart my dumb asshole brain lobes into gear #Sorry if you read all this mess #Woof

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god-tier-bastard · 1 year ago

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foaming at the mouth trying to pay attention in class and not start writing an essay about how the girl in the fireplace's plot and character dynamics predict a hilarious amount of the eleventh doctor/amy pond's story and why the story elements they have in common are why i hate steven moffat so much

#dw #doctor who #moffat salt #so ur telling me the doctor on two separate occasions:#accvidentally dropped in on a little girl's timeline #left her for years and then came back after she'd written him off as an imaginary friend #they both at some point kissed/fell in love w him (bc moffat needs every woman in the universe to want the doctor for some reason)#ended up acquiring a weird nickname from the now woman #both women came to pretty much worship him like their own personal angel or deity #both women had some sort of window/door to somewhere else (time windows/crack in the wall) following them their whole lives #both women die of old age after the doctor fixes their door problem (idk how to phrase this but theres def parallels between their deaths)#also theres frsr something tying mickey and (at least season 5) rory together in this episode but i can't describe it properly

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kleefkruid · 1 year ago

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I'm going to drown this assignment in a bathtub

#having to write a huge exploration of the degree you're persuing with questions aimed at 18 year olds is mind numbing #a hard assignment is hard but at least you learn stuff now I'm just wasting time #it's all stuff like 'collect 5 job ads' and describe what sounds fun and difficult about it! would you do this job?#but a milion of these types of questions #Please I need to apply to real job ads you're sucking away my mental energy that is in very short supply #plus I already did my research before starting this course I'm spending all my savings on this shit #I mean this class is a guaranteed pass but I don't want a guaranteed pass I want to learn stuff I pay for this

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erinchavi · 10 months ago

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every winter morning when i start my car in negative temps and it creaks and cries as it tries to turn over the engine i am reminded that it is a machine whose natural state is quiet and in one way or another one day its pieces will not be assembled and alive with me but they will lie cold and alone and they will be done. it's not even a living thing but it makes me so upset to think about

#i have also been thinking about my 5 year old cat who isn't even mine. where was he before he was with me. where will he be done #something about spaces and items lasting forever in different arrangements Gets To Me frequently and in ways i can't describe #old houses abandoned shipwrecks and junkyards got me the same way

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oflgtfol · 10 months ago

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in my monthly “mourning the part of me that died last year” era

#trying to finish up my resume so i can ask ppl for letters of rec #scrolling thru my photos trying to find proof of what exactly i did #going through spring 2023 and now fall 2022.#i just. argh #im so much better now than i was at this point last year #and words cant even really describe how much better i am now #or even rather just. how much WORSE i was last year #i just. im finally getting motivation again to like put my life back together and learn how to be a human being again #and now looking at my shit from january 2023 and being like. oh yeah. this is exactly why im having to put myself back together again #im like so proud of myself now for like putting 5 clothes away per day to clean up my room #so im like wow im making progress yay #and so then its like. oh. stark reminder as to the exact soul crushing dark depths of my soul that led me to this point in the first place #brot posts #also going thru all my old school homework and textbook files and its like. damn. i used to be about that life #and also seeing the utter decline in organization in my folders as time went on #like girl you can see the depression coming over me just in the file structures …#and also how more and more homeworks get skipped like oh HW7. then HW9. no hw8… cuz i didnt gaf anymore #meanwhile my first two years were so meticulously organized and well kept. and never missing an assignment

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bellamyroselia · 1 year ago

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One of my favorite Kid Icarus headcanons is that Palutena and Pit remember their first meeting completely differently, be it because Pit views it through rose-tinted glasses or because he genuinely doesn't remember their actual first meeting

It's funny to imagine Pit starting to tell this wonderful story when people ask, only for Palutena to cut in and say stuff like "Actually you just ate, puked on your dad's shoulder, pulled my hair and then had the audacity to laugh", making double question marks manifest directly above Pit's head

#kid icarus #kid icarus uprising #ki #kiu #headcanon #pit #palutena #yeah i'm describing events from my fic because i'm too lazy to come up with anything new #though in pit's defense kids start to truly remember things when they're about 3-5 years old #naturally he wouldn't remember things that happened when he was younger #so in the latter case all's justified. not so much in the first case but it would be funny regardless

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dankovskaya · 2 years ago

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Also I think I’ve even posted abt this before but. I mean I understand Why it happens bc its easier to stick with what you know and play a character that is more relatable to you I guess but it is kind of maddening how much vtm stuff whether it’s official media or like people’s own streamed campaigns and stuff completely revolve around very very modern vampires. Like 20 years undead maximum Lmfao. OR even if they’re older than that they still ACT completely modern as if they’ve had 0 trouble changing with the times with is so so deeply unvampiric and boring to me. Sorry.

#Why nobody want to play ancilla and elders...#I MEANNN a lot of elders are in hiding and stuff I believe due to the second inquisition focus of the v5 lore and it almost #seems encouraged to play younger and more modern vampires and especially to get into thinbloods because of that but I can't describe #how boring it is when there is this broad expansive world of fucked up insane dysfunctional vampire societies and they only ever get #engaged with by 1-5 year old dipshits who barely barely barely scratch the surface of any of it 😭😭😭#Not to mention lack of cool powers by virtue of being tiny babies -__-

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sunuism · 1 year ago

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everyone please pray or manifest for me that i get one of the easy texts for my exam pleaseeeee

#its an oral exam where you have to read out and translate a piece of text from the curriculum (in japanese)#and some of the texts have a lot of kanji i am unfamiliar with #and while they said that the reading out loud doesnt count and is only to make sure we know how the kanji have to be read #its still kinda embarrassing if i have to stop up every other word bc idk the kanji #but the text i was revising today was so easy compared bc its written from the perspective of a 12 year old #so theres not that many hard words #while some of the other ones describe very unfamiliar phenomena etc #like theres one thats about some sea creature who lives in a hole in the ocean....#idk all those words pleaseeeee #also one thing about japanese is that theres so many onomatopoetica #like as adverbs.... its just onomatopoetica and i dont remember any of themmmmmm #but anyways after the translation part theres a conversation part which would be fine but i havent spoken japanese in 5 months so im #probably super rusty #while i think my reading skills have improved a lot and i learned a lot of new kanji this semester #i have not spoken a coherrent sentence since january lmao #but i actually dont care THAT much about this exam #bc when its the last exam for my entire bachelors degree #i just get extreme exam anxiety and the anxiety only gets worse when i have to come up with stuff in the moment #its fine if i can just stick to a script but i usually fall on the questions they ask

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thewritehag · 2 years ago

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I wish you could reply to reviews on Etsy, but I understand why that's not an option

#honestly #3/5 stars: the product is perfect but I thought it would be bigger even though the creator explicitly lists the specifications #there aren't words enough to disparage these kinds of people #I keep thinking of this one goodreads review that's over a year old that I want to tear into but that's unhinged so I won't #they give a book 2/5 stars because the book's description accurately described what the book /is/ and /isn't/ about #and no one called this reviewer out then and that's why it's so infuriating #RAGE

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wormsdyke · 2 years ago

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[ID 1: a series of black and white gifs of cary grant wearing a long dressing gown with fuzzy trim.

ID 2: a tumblr tag reading “butches alone at their femmes house.” end ID]

Cary Grant in Bringing Up Baby (1938) dir. Howard Hawks

#so real #carry grant was my first ever gender crush #5 year old me went batshit over him #described by me

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6mayhem · 6 days ago

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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years

#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL #i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort #but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome #and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP #he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him #were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond #its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other #there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes #while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time #theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car #and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk #in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time #to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship #him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil #he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits #all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did #they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him #also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now #but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other #he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that #makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary #if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself #sorry oversharing oh wow

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mvnces · 29 days ago

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my mom telling me that I need a better work life balance as I’m trying to complain about how exhausted I am on my days off/the weekend

#( * / out of character ; personal. )#I am describing how I borderline don’t have the energy #to get up off the couch or do anything productive because #wrangling . like . 5-8 2 year olds every weekday is lowkey killing me #and that’s your response ? that’s your big brain moment ??

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