#derek x amelia

[cas-kingdom]

For drabble requests how about something for Greys Anatomy where while Derek is busy in surgery the reader comes in injured and Amelia is there to comfort her and make the medical decisions? It doesn’t have to be anything serious really, I’d just love some reader and Amelia bonding 🥰🥰🥰

The walk of shame along the corridors of Grey Sloan was not altogether unfamiliar to you. Many times had you trudged reluctantly along the polished floors of the surgical unit, clutching some injury or another, purposefully trying to avoid the eyes of anyone you knew--which, in such a unit, was pretty impossible.

Years ago, you would have been slightly less embarrassed. Kids always got into medical equipment, right? At least kids of surgeons who were constantly working. But now, it didn't seem quite right. You were a month away from Johns Hopkins, had aced all your exams and probably wouldn't have even needed the reference letters from half the surgical team, and here you were, head hung low in disgrace as you held your bleeding hand to your chest.

If it weren't for the fact you knew your dad would absolutely murder you if he found out you had hidden an injury from him again, you would have locked yourself away in a break room somewhere and attempted to patch yourself up best you could. Alas. Your father was Derek Shepherd. And after the broken nose you'd managed to keep from him for almost twenty-four hours a couple years ago, he'd all but held you hostage until you promised on his life you wouldn't do it again.

So, here you were. Reluctant as hell but somehow still not regretting the situation that had lead you to this moment.

"Hi, have you seen Dr. Shepherd around?" you asked a passing intern. When he made to walk over to the surgery board, finger already pointing at one row in particular, you visibly grimaced.

"Uh, no, the other one. Amelia Shepherd?" You had no intention of crying to your dad today. Your pride had been smashed to pieces enough.

The intern pointed down the hallway and you saw your aunt walking around a corner with another nurse. Pressing your lips in a thin line, you thanked the intern and followed after her. Your pace was fast enough not to lose her but slow enough that you had time to rehearse your lines before you were bombarded with judgment.

Amelia ducked into a radiology room and you steeled yourself before pushing the door open. "Amelia?"

"Y/N. Why are you holding your hand like that?"

You wouldn't have been surprised at the question, in fact you had fully expected it, if Amelia had turned around to actually see who had walked through the door. Your aunt could do powerful stuff, but mindreading was not on that list.

"I saw you earlier." Amelia turned, arms crossed, brows raised. "Well done, by the way. Meredith thought it would take you longer to find someone. I said it would take..." She glanced at her watch and shrugged. "Twenty minutes. Not bad."

Her supposed victory was short-lived when she looked up. Her eyes fell on your hand and her face dropped as she walked quickly over to you. "I'd rather you not drip blood on the floor," she said, an obvious tease behind her words, as she gently pulled you over to sit down.

You made a face, not having realised. "Oops."

"Oops is right, kiddo." Amelia knelt in front of the swivel chair and let you uncover your hand, humming under her breath when she noted the long, jagged line running down the side of your hand from the base of your wrist to the middle of your pinky finger. "How'd you manage this, huh? Don't tell me you found the electrical saw again."

You rolled your eyes. "I stabbed myself, actually," you said matter-of-factly.

"Ooh, that's a new one. With what?" When your reluctance finally kicked in, Amelia looked up. "With what, Y/N?"

Your hand began to throb and only then did you decide that answering your aunt's questions was probably the easiest way to getting relief. "A needle," you said. "I found a suture practice kit and, oh my God, Meelie, you know that's like giving me candy. I couldn't just leave it alone."

Amelia nodded along, gently probing at the red skin around your wound. "So you practiced sutures on fake skin and, what? Sewed yourself?"

"There was a noise outside and I jerked my hand," you deadpanned. Amelia glanced up, on the verge of laughter, and you looked away stiffly. "It hurts."

"Well, lesson learnt. For now," she added after as a second thought. There was a short silence after that was broken only by your hiss of pain when Amelia touched an exceptionally sensitive spot. Sucking a breath through her teeth, the surgeon sat back on her heels and looked up at you. "How were your sutures?" she asked. "Straight? Neat?"

You lit up, Derek's smug smile curving your lips not a second later. "Straightest and neatest you'll ever see."

"That's my girl." Amelia squeezed your knee before standing to her feet and taking out her phone. "Now, what do we tell your dad when he sees you later with stitches in your hand?"

You couldn't have groaned louder. If the chair didn't have a straight back, you would have fallen backwards with the force of it. When you righted yourself, a fierce look of indignation on your face, Amelia wasn't even attempting to hide her amusement.

"I need stitches?"

"Yup. Aaand, lucky for you, I think Derek should be out of surgery by now." Chipper as ever in the face of her niece's almost tangible disgust, she held open the door and nodded in its direction. "Come on, kiddo. He'll be glad to do a little needlework. Bring him back to basics."

You rolled your eyes once more as you got up, cradling your hand to your chest. "Like brother, like sister," you grumbled as you passed your aunt.

"What was that?"

"I said: like brother, like sister, you sadist."

Amelia snorted.

Grey's Masterpost

[slvt4em1lyprenti2s]

Hi hi ! I was wondering if you would do Amelia Shepherd x fem reader fic where R is the third twisted sister to Cristina and Mer, Amelia and reader have been in a relationship in secret for a while because they afraid of Mer’s reaction. They finally tell her and she gets protective of R but at the end she is very supportive and protects them against a patient’s hate comment? Xoxo

You’re dating my sister?

Summary: see req above!

Pairings: Amelia Shepherd x fem!reader

fluff, slight angst, homophobia, use of a homophobic slur

Word Count: 1.04k

NOT PROOFREAD

SET WHEN MEREDITH DIDNT LIKE AMELIA MUCH IN THE BEGINNING

Reader pov:

One year. One whole year me and Amelia have been dating for. It’s crazy how fast time feels when you’re in love, I do t know what I’d do without her. The only issue is my best friends, Cristina and Metrdith. Not that I’m afraid of their answer, well. I’m not staid if Cristina’s answer.

Meredith’s husband happens to be my girlfriend brother. It’s a minor detail, and you know, Meredith isn’t the biggest fan of said sister. Me and ames have talked it over and we’re going to tell people soon, but leave Mer till last, what could go wrong right?

Cristina went wrong.

“Hey! Cristina!” I whisper yelled across the nurses station.

“If you have another twisted-sisters-almost-died-or-had-a-traumatic-event drama to tell me save it for after my surgery. Please.” She sighed out.

“No it’s not that I have to tell you something. But you can not, and I mean can not, tell mer.“ I insist

“Dann what did you do screw her sister or something?”

I stay silent at this and her eyes go wide. “Oh. My. God. No you did not.”

I nod my head profusely and respond “We’ve been dating for a year Cristina. Me and Amelia, what am I supposed to tell her?!” I start to panic just thinking about all the different ways this could go wrong.

“Ohh I have no idea! Good luck, you’re gunna need it, oh and tell me when you’re telling her so I can watch.” I rolled my eyes as she walked away from me towards the OR to scrub in.

I walk to my patients room pondering ways to tell mer about me and Amelia, it was going to be a long day.

Amelia pov:

“Derek! Come here!” I call out to him across the neuro floor.

“What do you need I’ve got a surgery with Yang in like, 2 minutes?” He says looking bored before I even start talking.

“Hey you could at least act interest in what I’m about to say, oh and don’t tell mer yet. Please.” His interest was piqued at this so he gave me a look as if to say ‘keep going you’ve got me hooked’ so I continued “Me and y/n have been dating for a year, and we are o my just telling people ad were scared how mer will react because she’s not exactly my biggest fan as of right now and her and y/n/n, and Cristina obviously, are like twisted sisters or whatever.” I took a breather after sayibg all that and my brother just looked like he wanted to laugh in my face.

“Well, good luck!” He smiled and walked off to the OR.

Well shit.

Reader pov:

I walk into my patients room still deep in thought when he speaks up, he’s fairly old, around 70-ish and was in for a broken hip. “You seemed pretty serious with whatever you were talking about back there and now I don’t even get a hello? Something’s gotta be on your mind Doctor.” He gave me a knowing smirk as I open my mouth yet no words come out and let out and exasperated sigh.

“Ah you know, trouble in paradise, well, paradise’s surroundings at least.” I say trying to be as brief as possible.

“Happens to the best of us kid.” He seemed like a genuinely nice guy and to be honest I needed a break so instead of getting a nurse to check his vitals I decided I was going to do them, although it seemed someone else had the same idea.

“Hey y/n/n what are you doing here?” I hear a voice I know all too well say from behind me.

“Hi Ames, just doing Mr Davison’s vitals, are you okay?” I say giving her a smile.

“Funny I was just coming to do the same thing.” she walked beside me and trailed her hand lightly over my lower back which didn’t go unnoticed by Mr Davison.

“Your ‘paradise’ is a she? Ugh just another dyke, exactly what we need!” I stare at him shocked, as does Amelia. His sudden outburst seemed to pull some attention from outside and the one person that I didn’t want to walked in, walked in.

“Is everything okay in here?” Meredith asked.

“No get these people away from me! Horrible people you lgqbt whatever people!” He flailed his arms about like a toddler as he was ranting and raving. Immediately Meredith jumped to our defence.

“Excuse you? Who do you think you’re talking to? I have you know you’ve just made and enemy out of the best neuro, general and ortho (sorry callie) in the state. It’s 2024 in the USA for gods sake, get a grip man!” With this she ushered us out of the room and then into an in call room so she could talk to us.

•

“YOURE WHAT?!” mer practically yelled

“Keep your voice down, yes we’re dating.” Amelia said to mer try help her keep her head on.

“Look Amelia, I love y/n with my whole heart she’s my sister okay? So, if you hurt her, break her heart or do anything to even slightly harm her, I will hurt you twice as much. She’s the best thing that’ll ever happened to you, so don’t screw it up okay?” My heart warmed after hearing just how much mer cared about me and that she would protect me but also slightly concerned she just threatened my girlfriend.

“Yes ma’am.” Amelia murmured clearly slightly intimidated by mer.

“Okay, now that that’s out the way, I’m so happy for you guys!” Me and Ames say thanks and mer’s oager goes off so she has to run so me and amy are left alone in the in-call room.

“I love you Amelia.” I say as I peck her lips and wrap my arms around her neck.

“I love you too y/n/n.” At this she pulled me into a passionate kiss and lowered us both down onto a bed.

When in an unoccupied on-call room…

[ninus9607]

Falling for her - Amelia Shepherd

Hey loves

This is my first story, so I'm pretty nervous also I'm sorry about my grammar, English isn't my first language

This story takes place during the second season but there are small changes, like Derek and Addison divorced before Derek came to Seattle so Addison won't be coming to Seattle for Derek because Richard asked her to (it will be important for the plot), lexie. The storyline in my story doesn't match Grey's one.

Amelia will work as an attending with Derek, also she's not the youngest shepherd and she is younger than Derek by only a few years. Derek and Meredith are not dating because of the rule (nobody cared about that but ok

______________________________________________________________

1. New start

There was a voice on the plane telling us to buckle up because we were landing, finally, I thought to myself. Flying more than 6000 km is exhausting. After the plane landed successfully, I put on my backpack and collected my baggage. When I got out of the airport, a cold wind greeted me, it's chilly here, I should take a taxi. There were many taxis on the other side of the road, I took my suitcase and slowly walked to the other side, there were about 5 taxis parked there, which one should I choose? Never mind, I chose the first one I stood by.

"Could you take me to Queen Anne at 303 Comstock Street?"

The taxi driver just nodded,��is every American so grumpy? All the way there was silence in the car, but I didn't mind, I was looking out the window and admiring the world around me the whole time. I can't believe it, I'm truly here, Seattle was gorgeous, and there were people all over the place, which was a big difference from my home. When the car stopped on my street, the driver turned to me and in a cold voice said, "It would be $40." I pulled my wallet out of my pocket, full of US dollars, to make sure I had enough money. I must have grabbed a little more than I needed since I could barely close my wallet.

I handed him a $50 bill. "You can ke-" He didn't even let me finish and grabbed it from my hand, then pointed to the door. At that moment, I felt like hitting him. I grabbed my stuff, and as soon as I reached for the door, his car quickly started and sped off.

"Dick"

I looked around to see where I was, and after taking stock of my situation I realized I was lost, fuck, I should have seen what the house looked like before. I mean, what normal person wouldn't look at the house they're buying, yeah, I didn't look. I only have his address. So I'll try to ask someone. The street was quiet, with hardly any people to be seen outside. It was probably because everyone was still at work. However, a woman was walking on the sidewalk. She looked tired, but it seemed like she was my only option.

"Sorry to bother you, miss, but can you tell me where house number 302 is located?"

She looked at me with a surprised smile. "Oh, that's the house right next to mine. You must be my new neighbor. I'm Meredith Grey" She offered me her hand in greeting. Okay, it looks like Americans aren't so bad after all. I shook her hand. "Lena Anderson, nice to meet you" My accent was a bit stronger, I still have to get used to it.

"You're not from here, are you?" I shook my head "No, I just moved here." She looked at me with an even bigger smile. "Cool, come with me. I'll show you where you live."  And with that, she takes my hand. Are Americans always this friendly? We walked for a while and then stopped in front of a pretty big house. Wow, I think I made a good purchase.

"Thank you Meredith for helping me, you saved my life."

"It's okay, I'm glad I met you. Maybe we could hang out sometime, perhaps go to a bar or something?"

"Deal," I said and waved her off, picked up my keys, and opened my new home. Wow, this house is huge!  Large kitchen, beautiful living room, 3 bedrooms, and 2 bathrooms. This place is amazing! After unpacking and enjoying a warm shower, I settled into the beautifully modern living room, complete with a large TV and a PS5. Since I was a child, I have always enjoyed playing video games. I brought my PS5 here, and it provides great fun while helping me relax from reality. I prepared my favorite fruit tea and turned on the music on the TV. I grabbed my laptop and opened my email to check for any important updates. I was eagerly waiting for news about my job and had also applied for internship programs at hospitals in Seattle. My school grades are excellent, and I have valuable work experience back home in Europe. However, I understand that this may not guarantee anything.

I've got about 30 emails popping up, mostly some ads I should clean up, I started to slowly delete them one by one so I wouldn't accidentally delete something important. until I get an e-mail from Seattle Grace Hospital. I opened it and started reading.

 "You have been accepted into our residency program"

I screamed at the top of my lungs, I couldn't believe it, it's like a miracle, I love my life. In the email, there was additional information, such as salary, hours, and more. I am supposed to start in two days, so I might as well inform Meredith. She could at least assist me in getting oriented here. I changed into something more social, grabbed my keys, and went to see my neighbor.

knock, knock

After a while, some guy opened the door. "Oh, hi? Is Meredith there?" He was a little confused, but he called out to Meredith, who came to the door.

"Hey Meredith, sorry to bother you again, but as you said we could meet sometime. If you don't have plans for tonight, maybe we could hang out?"

"Hey, Len, I was just thinking about you, join us, I'll introduce you to my friends" She led me to her living room, where I saw two other people. They looked nice.

"Everybody, this is Lena, my new neighbor. Lena, these are my friends and roommates. George and Izzie"

"Hi"

"Hello"

"Nice to meet you all." I was a little nervous, but after two hours of talking and drinking, I felt like I had made new friends. Meredith and Izzie were great, funny and George was George. Such a nice guy. But I get the feeling he's secretly in love with Meredith, he looks at her like she's a god. It is very easy to make fun of him but in a good way.

"Where do you work? Your house is huge but it must have cost a lot." George asks me

"Well, actually I bought it before I had a job"

"WHAT? ARE YOU RICH?" Izzie and Meredith shouted at the same time

"Well kind of, but now I got a job in a hospital in their program an-"

"Are you a doctor? and in seattle grace?" George quickly cut me off

"Yeah? What's the problem??"

"We work there too! me, mer, izzie and our other friends like cristina and alex"

"So, Are we colleagues?"

"YES!" Everyone in the room screamed.

"Wow, that's really impressive. Is there a bar where we can celebrate?" I asked

"Let's meet at Joe's Bar tomorrow as we always do after work." Meredith said

"If you show me where it is, we can definitely..."

I stayed at Meredith's place for about an hour and then left to go home. I changed into comfortable pajamas, sat on my bed, and picked up the book. I decided on something a little more interesting: "Haunting Adeline." (😏) I was reading for about two hours before my eyes started to close, so I put the book down, turned off the light, and closed my eyes.

AN: Wow, that was my first chapter. I apologize for every mistake, but I'm trying yk...I'm happy for every response and comment also if you have any questions, just ask. I'd be happy to answer them.

PS: By the way, if you want to read more, you can check out my Wattpad or Ao3, where my story is already uploaded.

xx

[stttarkeys]

𝐨𝐡 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧: spencer reid x amelia schuyler-jones prt 1

context: amelia schuyler gets kidnapped by her fathers killer, the bau race to find where she is. characters: amelia schuyler-jones, tyler schuyler-jones, aaron hotchner, spencer reid, & the rest of the BAU word count: book: Lucky (wattpad published) note; this is from a unpublished chapter of my book, so please do not steal :) gif below is mine :)

It was meant to be the happiest day of her life, of hers and Spencer's life. After their wedding being pushed back so much due to their job it sometimes felt like it would have just been better to just go down to the courthouse and get married there, but Spencer was not going to let Amelia's dreams die of a traditional wedding go because of their job. Being apart of the Bureau had its perks and cons, but they would not change it for the world. They were meant to be married about eight months ago but three days before their special day they were called to her home town of New York for a case. - Amelia had been sitting at her vanity for what felt like hours by now, of course she wanted to marry Spencer, he is the best thing that has ever happened to her, and vice versa for Spencer. They were like two Lego pieces that did not fit with anyone but each other. Twin flame as David Rossi would put it. There was a light knock on the door that pulled Amelia from her dazed state. "Come in." Amelia called out to whoever the person was knocking on her door. Penelope and Derek made their way through the doorway, Pen already had tears in her eyes from one glance at Amelia. "Omg, omg, omg! You look like a Disney princess!" Penelope exclaimed to Amelia, this made the blonde haired girl smile. "Thank you Pen." There was a shy smile on her face, which was not normal. But due to the fact that all of the attention was on her and Spencer it made it all feel more real that they were getting married. "I think this is the first time that I have ever seen Agent Derek Morgan speechless. What about you Pen?" Amelia chuckled lightly as she looked at Derek, he was in his own emerald green suit (that both Spencer and herself had chosen). Derek looked at Amelia like she was an angel, of course Amelia was beautiful there was no doubt about it, but damn. Derek was speechless.

"Amelia Love Schuyler-Jones you are the worlds most beautiful bride." He reached his hand out for Amelia to take, which she did. "Give us a twirl then!" Derek says with excitement in his voice. Amelia did what he asked and gave a small twirl, giggling slightly as she did so. "We just came here to say there everyone is here, and David is read when you are." Derek states. Amelia sucked some air in between her lips, both Penelope and Derek can sense that she was nervous. They both moved in closer and hugged the girl. "I am okay. I am just upset that neither my dad or Tyler is here with us today. I know Dessa is and their kids are but I wanted Tyler and dad to walk me down the aisle, not to have them watch from the sky." Amelia said as she moved away from the hug that Pen and Derek offered. "We know." Derek starts. "But like you just said, they are both watching over you and they are so proud of you." Derek kisses her forehead lightly and then leaves the room with Pen following behind him.

She clenched her hand around the small cross that was around her neck, her faith and belief was going to be one of the only things that was going to help her keep it together whenever her family was mentioned to her. Another knock on her door brought her back to reality. What could Penelope and Derek forgotten? They were just in here for less than five minutes. Before she even reached the door handle, there was a loud bang outside of the room she was in, this made her raced back to the vanity reach into her hand bag and place her hand onto the glock that she had in it. It was known to her yet but the body of one Detective James McCrae was watching into the room that Amelia was in, this was his chance to reach in and steal the FBI agent from the happiest day of her life, he did not care about her whatsoever he just wanted to punish the agent for putting his own daughter in prison.

With Amelia's eyes trained on the front door of the room James was able to get through the window without her detection. With the crowbar in his right hand ready to swing he stepped closer, and closer to her body. Whack! James hit Amelia's body, making her fire off a round of ammunition into her purse (knowing that someone would be bound to hear it) Amelia fell to the ground beneath her, face first her hands breaking the fall that would have broken her nose. Quickly she turned onto her back looking at her assailant but to her dismay he was wearing a ski mask that was covering his face, but his body figure looked familiar to her some how.

"Derek! Penelope!" Amelia called out to the two agents that left not too long ago, hoping that at least one of them would hear her cry out for help. "Derek!" She cries out again. "Oh my dear." There it was, that thick Scottish accent spoke to her. "No one is coming for you, no one will ever be coming for you, ever again." James McCrae looked over Amelia's body as he stood all over her, he knew that no one would hear her cries out for help. They were too far away from her room to do anything about it now.

"Spencer!" Amelia calls out one last time before her assailant knocked her out cold, redness and blood immediately started to pool out of her nose and her ear, which was from the contact from the baseball bat that he had in his hand.

James was somehow able to get Amelia into the trunk of his car without gaining the attention of the emerging guests that were arriving at the church in Vegas. It would be less than hour before David Rossi made his way to the room where Amelia had been all morning to find her not there.. with only a note that the kidnapper had left for Spencer Reid.

[chrlvctius]

these two, omg. I'm sat literally 🤸

[theartofcollapse]

a/n: I'm taking requests, so feel free to send me some :) summary: Y/N is a new attending at Grey Sloan Memorial. Carina has her eyes on Y/N since the moment she met her. pairing: Carina DeLuca x female reader warnings: none word count: 1.4K

masterlist

Elevator Effect - Carina DeLuca

Y/N adjusted her jacket as the elevator doors slid open, revealing a nearly empty car save for one person leaning casually against the railing. The woman was stunning. Her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders, her almond-shaped eyes sparkling with curiosity as they landed on Y/N. She looked up from her phone and smiled, an expression that seemed almost too charming for its own good.

Y/N stepped into the elevator, pressing the button for her floor. Her first day at Grey Sloan Memorial had officially begun, and she decided to ease into it in her usual style: arriving in regular clothes before changing into her scrubs. She figured it would give her a chance to observe the environment without immediately standing out.

The silence in the elevator was brief.

"Buongiorno," the woman greeted, her voice as smooth as silk, laced with an Italian accent that could make anyone weak in the knees.

Y/N turned to her, quirking an eyebrow. "Good morning."

The woman tilted her head, her smile widening. "Not a doctor, I take it?" she asked, her gaze sweeping over Y/N’s outfit, a casual shirt, jeans, and sneakers. "Or are we experimenting with a new dress code?"

Y/N fought the urge to smirk. "Not a doctor," she said, technically not lying. Not yet, anyway.

The woman leaned in slightly, her curiosity evidently piqued. "Well, let me guess. A visitor? No, no, you seem too comfortable for that. Here for a meeting with the Chief?"

Y/N shrugged, letting her enjoy the guessing game. "Something like that."

Her companion chuckled, a sound that was somehow both mischievous and endearing. "I’m Carina, by the way. Carina DeLuca. And you are?"

"Y/N," she replied simply, keeping her tone neutral.

"Y/N…" Carina repeated, savoring the name. She studied Y/N with a smoldering gaze that could rival a summer heatwave. "Let me give you a warning, Y/N. If you wander into Grey Sloan looking like that, some people might forget how to do their jobs."

Y/N raised her eyebrows, a hint of amusement dancing in her eyes. "Oh, really?"

"Oh, sì," Carina said, taking a step closer. Her voice dropped lower, more intimate. "You’re… bellissima. Stunning. I’m already distracted, and I’ve only known you for two minutes."

Y/N’s lips twitched. "Is this how you greet everyone in the elevator?"

"Only the ones who make me want to press the emergency stop button," Carina teased, her eyes sparkling.

Y/N decided to play along. "That bold, huh?"

Carina smiled, her voice dripping with charm. "Life is too short for hesitation. Don’t you agree?"

The elevator dinged, signaling their arrival at the appropriate floor. Carina looked as though she had more to say, but Y/N stepped out first, giving her a knowing glance over her shoulder. "See you around, Carina."

Later that morning, Y/N stood beside Dr. Bailey in the conference room as a group of doctors filtered in. She had already changed into her scrubs, the name embroidered on her coat marking her position as the new attending in OB/GYN.

Carina walked in last, her gaze scanning the room before landing on Y/N. For a moment, her expression faltered, a flash of recognition lighting her face. Y/N offered her a subtle, knowing smile.

"Everyone, this is Dr. Y/N Y/L/N," Bailey announced. "She’s our new OB/GYN attending, joining us from Chicago. I expect you all to make her feel welcome."

Carina’s jaw dropped slightly, and her cheeks flushed. "You're… a doctor?" she asked Y/N after her short introduction was over, disbelief clear in her voice.

Y/N turned to her, feigning innocence. "Oh, I did forget to mention that earlier."

Carina blinked, clearly scrambling to recover. "You are very sneaky, Dr. Y/L/N."

Y/N leaned in just slightly, her voice quiet enough that only Carina could hear. "Life is too short for hesitation, right?"

Carina exhaled a laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. "Touché."

Throughout the rest of the meeting, Carina found herself stealing glances at Y/N, clearly intrigued. Afterward, she caught up to her in the hallway.

"Non posso credere che non me l'hai detto."

Y/N tilted her head, pretending to be clueless. "I don’t speak Italian."

Carina smirked, leaning closer. "Then I guess I’ll have to teach you. Maybe over dinner?"

Y/N smirked. "I will think about your offer."

And with that, she left the Italian alone in her own disbelief.

The day was only halfway through, and Carina was already proving to be delightfully persistent. After their hallway banter, Y/N had managed to slip away to her office, but it wasn’t long before she encountered Carina again during a consult.

The patient had been referred to Y/N for a prenatal concern, and Carina, as the head of the Maternal-Fetal Medicine department, had been called in as well. Y/N was standing at the patient’s bedside when Carina walked in, clipboard in hand and a sly smile already forming on her lips.

“Dr. Y/L/N,” Carina greeted, her tone professional but her eyes sparkling with mischief. “How lovely to see you again. Twice in one day. I must be lucky.”

Y/N didn’t miss a beat. “You could say the same about me. I get to work with Seattle’s finest.”

Carina tilted her head, a mock expression of thoughtfulness crossing her face. “Seattle’s finest? Are you referring to me, or have you been meeting other doctors behind my back already?”

Y/N smirked, not giving Carina the satisfaction of an answer. She turned her attention to the patient instead, maintaining her composure while Carina lingered just a little closer than necessary.

Later, during lunch in the hospital cafeteria, Y/N found herself seated alone, flipping through a stack of files. She was mid-bite when Carina appeared out of nowhere, sliding into the seat across from her with a tray of her own.

“Working through lunch?” Carina asked, her voice warm as she unwrapped a sandwich. “I hope that doesn’t mean you’re too busy for me.”

Y/N set her file down, arching an eyebrow. “Depends. What’s the occasion?”

Carina grinned, leaning forward. “I figured I’d take the opportunity to learn more about the mysterious new attending. It’s only fair, considering how much you’ve kept me in the dark today.”

“Oh?” Y/N replied, feigning nonchalance. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” Carina said, her voice dropping into a flirtatious purr. “What brought you to Grey Sloan? How do you like your coffee? What’s your favorite color? And most importantly, how do you feel about Italian food?”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s quite the list.”

“Start with the last one,” Carina said, her eyes narrowing playfully. “Because if you don’t like Italian food, I may have to rethink my strategy.”

“Your strategy?” Y/N echoed, clearly amused.

Carina gestured between them. “This. Us. Getting to know each other. Winning you over.”

Y/N leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she studied Carina. “You’re pretty confident, aren’t you?”

“Sì,” Carina admitted shamelessly. “But only because I know when something is worth the effort.”

Y/N’s cheeks warmed slightly at the intensity of Carina’s gaze. “For the record, I love Italian food,” she said. “But if you want to win me over, you’ll have to try harder than a lunch table interrogation and mentioning pasta and pizza.”

Carina rolled her eyes but she was most definitely up for the challenge. “Oh, don’t worry, cara mia. I plan to.”

By mid-afternoon, Carina was proving to be as good as her word. Y/N found herself in the supply closet, searching for a specific set of surgical tools, when Carina appeared in the doorway.

“Are you following me?” Y/N asked, glancing over her shoulder.

“Not intentionally,” Carina replied, stepping inside as though she owned the place. “But I’m starting to think fate might be pushing us together.”

Y/N shook her head, biting back a smile. “This is the supply closet, Carina. Hardly romantic.”

Carina stepped closer, her voice dropping to a low murmur. “You’d be surprised how creative I can be.”

Y/N turned to face her, holding a tray of instruments as a makeshift barrier. “Is this how you woo all the doctors?”

“Not doctors. Not plural. Only you. You wear scrubs better than I do, I have to try my luck.” Carina said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

Y/N chuckled, brushing past her to exit the closet. As she walked away, she glanced back over her shoulder. “You’ll have to try harder than that, Dr. DeLuca.”

Carina called after her. “La prossima volta ti sorprenderò.”

Y/N didn’t understand the words, but she understood the promise in Carina’s tone and she couldn’t wait to see how far the Italian doctor would take this game.

[infictionalwonderland]

greys anatomy masterlist,

mark sloan —

nothing yet.

derek shepherd —

nothing yet.

alex karev —

nothing yet.

jackson avery —

nothing yet.

callie torres —

nothing yet.

amelia shepherd —

nothing yet.

lexie grey —

nothing yet.

addison montgomery —

nothing yet.

[a-member-of-minuteswithmandm]

So this is a Grey's Anatomy post because I can't help but marvel at the number of doctors that are related to each other in this show 😂😂

You know how Kylie and Kendall Jenner only got famous because they're related to Kim Kardashian? And the Scarlet Witch (AKA Elizabeth Olsen) probably wouldn't be who she was without Mary Kate and Ashley? Or even how Maude Apatow (Euphoria) and Jaden Smith struck lucky with their parents - Judd Apatow and Jada Pinkett/Will Smith?

Some people get all the luck - they are connected to the right people and it makes their lives a thousand times better than the rest of us 😭. Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital has it's own share of family and friend drama most of the time (remember the Link - Amelia - Owen - Teddy - Tom drama? or Meredith and her surprise sisters?), but sometimes even these characters take it too far and we have to call it out!

So just to lay out the family relationship (not including romantic relationships) on this show:

Meredith: 2 sisters (Lexie & Maggie), and her mom Ellis Grey

Derek: 1 sister (Amelia) and 1 nephew (Lucas Adams Shepherd)

Owen: 1 sister (Megan)

Andrew: 1 sister (Carina)

Jackson: his mom (Catherine Fox) and his grandad (Harper Avery)

Richard Webber: his bio daughter Maggie (this is a technicality but still!)

I won't even get into the tangled web that is the dating chart of the doctors at the hospital! So many characters have gotten jobs that they really weren't qualified for based on the relationshipsnthey have

Join us as we talk about the characters who have basically had everything handed to them on a platter with virtually no effort (cough cough Amelia Shepherd). The rich and/or connected doctors that have a guaranteed cheat sheet to success! What do you think, did we leave anyone out?

Please watch the video and let us know what you think!

[storiesofsvu]

Hey besties.

So thanks to an influx of new followers and from different fandoms and interesting requests I’ve been getting I figured it was needed to repost this.

Things I WILL NOT write for:

-Non con or even CNC

-Age gaps. (Realistic ones are fine. But i refuse to do 18 year old super genius yn who graduated Harvard already and 40+ year old character falls in love with them).

-Basically YN under the age of 30. I’m in my mid 30’s and most people in the industries that my fics involve would be in that age rage, or even older. if you’re looking under, go elsewhere.

-Underage yn’s. If you want a fic where yn is the chlld this is NOT the place.

-stories involving losing virginities. While i may write someones first experience with the the same sex, or a specific style, i do not write virgin characters

-pregnant y/n’s. It’s very rare I will accept requests involving pregnancy

-Male yn’s. Nothing against it but as a female, esp when it comes to smut I’m uncomfortable writing it.

-Same goes for medical conditions. There are certain that I am familiar with or are easier to research or I have close friends who can give insight to, otherwise i feel like I’m not doing it justice and also dont want to offend. Dm or send an ask if you have specific questions.

WHO I Write For:

(just because there is someone on my masterlist does not mean i still write for them. i only write this list.)

Law and Order(SVU/OC/ OG)

-Rita Calhoun, Casey Novak, Elizabeth Donnelly, Alex Cabot, Olivia Benson, Grace Muncy, Tonie Churlish, Melinda Warner, Pippa Cox, Sonya Paxton, Amanda Rollins, Peter Stone, Mike Dodds, Joe Velasco, Sonny Carisi, Rafael Barba, Terry Bruno.

-Ayanna Bell, Samantha Maroun

-Calex, Barhoun, Calvak, Novelly, Benhoun.

Criminal Minds:

Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, Alex Blake, Tara Lewis, Aaron Hotchner

9-1-1

Bobby Nash

House of Cards:

Heather Dunbar, Jackie Sharp

-Duckie (heather x jackie)

Homeland:

Elizabeth Keane

Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice:

-Addison Montgomery, Amelia Shepherd, Charlotte King

NCIS:

Abigail Borin, Anthony Dinozzo

Chicago PD:

Hailey Upton, Kim Burgess, Erin Lindsay, Kevin Atwater

DM/Ask box for taglists!

[dayvoidkyoto]

okay okay okay. by no means do i actually think they'll actually do this, bc it'd be insane and it's way too early for it, plus we're all pretty sure the next ep is Maggie's exit.

but lots of people are speculating that Lucas and Simone are a Merder/Japril hybrid (elevator kiss and an ex showing up out of nowehere + out-of-the-blue public proposal with clapping and cheering in front of the other guy)

and we all remember when April thought Jackson had died in the bus explosion and lost her mind when she saw him, despite being engaged to another guy, right?

now. if the upcoming episode involves the hospital being under attack (and we all saw Amelia running frantically in the promo) then what if Maggie isn't the one she's running to?

what if it's Lucas?

[endearng]

Lifeline

Pairing: earlyseasons!Spencer Reid x addict!reader Summary: How does one move on after seeing the lost versions of themselves on someone else entirely? WC: 8.8k Warnings: canon criminal minds violence (m-rder); pr-stitution and mentions of sex; s.h-rm; illegal substances consumption; mentions of dr-g abuse; panic attacks; graphic suicide attempt. Minors, please, do not interact. A/N: This is heavily based on "The A Team", "Gale Song" and "evermore" and also Skins UK's character Effy Stonem. Besides that, I was also somewhat inspired by CM'S 2x11 and I messed up the timeline. Feedbacks are always welcome! | masterlist

"Her name's Amelia Holden. She was found in a dumpster in an alley of a neighborhood in central Richmond. Along with her, we have four women murdered within two weeks." JJ informed as she briefed the team about the case they were invited to work on.

Their reactions always were different. Aaron Hotcher remained unreadable, often asking about the local police's findings. Derek Morgan usually worried about victimology and the modus operandi. Emily Prentiss used to brainstorm details on the pictures. David Rossi was the one to make comparisons with previous cases. Spencer Reid busied himself with data, statistics and whatnot about the locality.

Speaking of which, "This is an high-end neighborhood, not to mention the obvious fact that it happened in the capital of Virginia. Based on that, one could think that the citizens will cooperate to solve this as fast as we can."

Derek sighed, "I wish I could tell you're wrong in different circumstances, pretty boy." Spencer frowned, eager to ask, but Derek was faster, "Truth is, these girls were all prostitutes. The rich won't give a damn if they go missing, which is pure hypocrisy based on the fact that they go where the money is, which is, well... in their neighborhood." JJ pursed her lips, taking another look at the evidence.

There were pictures of four girls, placed so carelessly in the dumpster that it was possible to deduce that they had been all thrown in there already dead. Not a single chance of survival. Not a single chance someone could save them. JJ felt a lump in her throat and looked away from the photos.

“It’s most likely a male.” Rossi said.

Emily nodded, asking, "So what do you guys think? Maybe this guy is murdering them because he thinks he's doing society a favor?"

"It could be, yes. When prostitutes are targeted, the main reason is misogyny, but we can also associate these crimes to other forms of hatred. It can also be related to power." Spencer answered. "Are there any signs of sexual abuse?"

"No, only physical violence." JJ answered. "The coroner's reports indicate that they were drugged, some of them with multiple substances. There are red bruises as well as knife scars and stabs basically all over their bodies."

"Multiple substances in their body can be a sign of addiction, but also that our unsub drugged them to make them easier to drag around." Spencer continued. “Does the lab have the substances yet?”

“Garcia is working on it.” JJ replied.

"And the amount of cuts and bruises on their bodies mean that our unsub is angry. Like, uncontrollably angry." Emily finished.

"Well, he's killed both black and white women, so we know it's not race motivated." Rossi completed Emily's train of thought. "He's been getting more and more desperate, given the depths of the cuts as he progresses, look." He said, pointing to the picture of the last victim.

Emily gulped, shaking her head lightly.

“I’d say that, given the color of the bruises, they were beaten right before they died. This unsub doesn’t keep them for much longer. Most likely, he tortures them and kills them, getting rid of them in the dumpsters. The place of disposal is rather telling.” Spencer chimed in.

"Get Garcia to look up sex offenders in that area." Hotch said. "Try to find them all, no matter what their outcome was. Close, dropped... It doesn't matter. If the theory about social cleansing is right, maybe the offender has a past history with it. On the other hand, if he's rich, he probably got away with it."

"I'll call her right now." Morgan said with a nod.

"Great. tell the Richmond PD we're getting there in a couple of hours." Hotch announces. "Wheels up in thirty."

—

Arriving in the precinct, Hotchner assigned the tasks. Rossi and Morgan would go to the latest crime scene as Reid and Prentiss looked around for possible witnesses. JJ would stay at the precinct in case something came up.

"Check this out," called Rossi. "The... instrument was big enough to go through her body, from her stomach to her back." He said.

Morgan sighed. "Intensified violence means that he's not planning on stopping any time soon."

A couple feet away, agents Reid and Prentiss talked to one of the prostitutes. "We're always here, especially at night. Some girls are here during the daytime, but you know, it's slower. Nobody wants to be seen with us." She had bloodshot eyes, a defeated expression on her features. 

"Who are your usual... customers?" Reid asked, a little embarrassed to be talking to a woman who had that much expertise in a field he lacked any. A flash of worry and guilt crossed the young woman's face and she looked around as if making sure no one was listening to them.

"Don't worry, everything's classified. You're not gonna get in trouble if you talk to us. We're just trying to help." Emily said, trying to ease her nerves.

"Okay... I... The guys who work in the bank are often here. Cops, too. But they are very sneaky." She whispered, fright almost palpable in her voice.

"Did any of them ever pose a threat? Maybe too violent? Persistent?" The young doctor asked, again. She blinked at him, willing the tears not to fall.

"Most of them are just bored husbands or divorcees who want to get laid without the worry of being chased after." Looking away, she went on, "we’re the ones who can't afford to say no to the things they're into. We get the best of their roughness, so it's hard to tell." Emily gave her a sympathetic look.

From afar, you watched their interactions. The girl, whose name was Renée, looked very nervous and guilty. You approached them, looking a lot more skeptical than the emotional mess they were asking questions to. You took a look at them, took in the way they were dressed, besides the pens and notepads in their hands. The man took a second look at you, but you shrug it off, used to be perceived and not always in the best manner, given your appearance these days. “You ok, Renée?" You checked on her softly and she nodded in agreement. "Excuse me. Are you with the police?" You ask in a serene voice.

"Hi. I'm Agent Emily Prentiss and this is Doctor Spencer Reid. We're with the FBI," the dark haired woman answered, both of them showing you their badges. You nodded. "We're investigating the murder of women in this location."

Spencer looked at you as you inspected their faces. You wore casual clothes, nothing like the outfit Renée had on, and, for a moment, he thought what were you doing in there and how and why did you know her. It didn't make sense, albeit briefly, to him, why would someone so mundane be in that place, at that time. After a couple of seconds of watching you curiously, the pieces started falling into places, though. The crestfallen expression, dry skin and chapped lips... You were going through something.

He had a feeling he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what.

That is, until you actually started talking.

"Hello," you introduce yourself. "Oh, I see. I didn’t think the locals would be interested in solving these anyway."

“Why do you say that?” Emily asked, curious to know your answer.

“I suppose they don’t like the fact that some of us are so daring to the point of going to their station to report the abuse we all go through weekly,” you snorted, voice thick with disdain, although every person in the conversation was aware that it was not aimed at either of them, “like, why are we complaining? We want to do this, we are willingly here.” Emily sighed.

“I’m sorry.” Was all that Spencer could muster up.

“Anyway…” you sniffled. A telling sign. “How can we help?”

"Have you seen anyone violent around here? A-a new face, perhaps?" He asked, turning his body to face you properly. Emily looked at him, puzzled.

"Doctor, with all due respect, they are men. And they are paying. It’s basically a green light for all sorts of abuse, I'm sure Renée told you that much." You answered, in a much more certain tone than your friend had used.

"Did either of you recall anything about that night? The most basic detail can help us.” Emily inquired.

"Yeah." Renée answered with a quiver of her lip, clinging to you, trying to find some solace. You squeezed her shoulder lightly, glancing at her.

Sensing she might not be able to talk, you went on, "I can't think of anything out of the ordinary that night. I didn't notice they were missing until the next day. We try our best to watch out for each other. As I said, some men can be real creeps, but once you start your own thing, it's… hard” you exhaled, “for some of us to keep track of what's going on around us. Unless we run into each other again, we won't know for sure if we're actually safe." You explained, looking down at your feet. After a couple deep breaths that felt like you were inhaling the oxygen of the entire Earth, you looked back at them. Still avoiding eye contact, glancing between their foreheads, something you'd learned to do in order to escape the person you were with when you needed to.

Spencer watched you the entire time.

“I see,” the woman said, taking some notes. “Would you know if they share anything in common?”

“They usually stay in the park at the end of the street,” Renée answered, “They go there once things quiet down, and guys pick them up in their cars. The night they were… um, taken, was pretty intense. If they got kidnapped, we couldn’t even give you a license plate. We weren’t around.” Her voice dripped with pure guilt. You ran your thumb on her shoulder.

At the moment, though, there's something else entirely on your mind. Eventually, after a beat of silence, you decide to speak your mind, to expose your insecurities. Not worried about how you may look. Hell, it's been a long time since you stopped. "I'm sorry to press or if I sound too demanding. I know sometimes things get out of your control, but, uh, you're gonna catch this guy, right? I mean... we have to be here. I hope you don't think we have another choice."

As you talked, your soft voice and pleading eyes drew Spencer's attention to you with even more intensity. Your voice and mannerisms weren't something he was expecting. He berated himself after realizing how he was in the wrong by assuming you’d portray yourself in a certain way because of the area you worked in. Your voice was low, but firm. Your words were understanding, but demanding. Your posture was almost defensive, but the desperation of your tone told them how terrified you were. He couldn't help but notice the fact that you were sniffing quite often. His profiling skills were faster than himself and he made the conclusion that, given the line of your work, he presumed it most likely wasn’t only a cold.

Spencer knew, then, that you shared something in common with him. Something bad.

Again, not something he wanted to know about.

Emily opened her mouth to speak, but Spencer beat her to it, "We're gonna do the best we can, Miss."

"Glad to hear that," you muttered, unable to look him in the eye.

“Thanks for your time.” Emily said, a gentle smile on her face.

Spencer watched from the corner of his eye as you and René left, walking arm in arm. In a safe distance from everyone else, he saw as your friend broke down in your arms and as you comforted her, even if you had your own tears streaming down your face. He had reached Morgan and Rossi when you two walked away. Emily studied his face attentively, wondering why he was so fast to assure a possible victim like that, because, one, it was unlike him to want to partake in such sensitive conversations with the ones involved in the process. Two, what kind of agent, doctor, official, profiler, whatever, makes promises before such an intricate process such as their work?

“So, did you get anything?” Rossi asked him, breaking him out of his reverie.

“Oh, yeah. Those two women said that the victims usually waited for clients in the park right down the street.” Emily said.

“I think we should go take a look.” Spencer suggested.

Searching the park, which was full of passersby and families just spending some time outside their houses, Spencer couldn’t shake the feeling that this case had already hit him too close to home. The violence was something that still messed with his head and he thought he could never recover from the flashes of memories behind his eyelids once he closed his eyes to sleep every night. Still, it wasn’t that that baffled him the most, but you. He knew what it was like to struggle with addiction. He had been very harsh on Emily not long ago, during a withdrawal, so he knew aggressiveness and mood swings were to be expected. You and your mannerisms, however, were totally out of the addiction bingo. The way you looked, so broken, so sick, in every sense of the word, didn’t stop you from having a polite conversation with them, even if the topic was very much concerning to you. Plus, the caring nature you seemed to have and the way you made sure to be supportive towards you and the others who, just like you, went through hell every day for the most unspeakable reasons stood out to him.

It was intriguing, to say the least.

“Hey, I got something.” Morgan said as he approached the team with a piece of paper. “It says: They will not do it again.”

“Who’s they?” Rossi inquired.

“Maybe the prostitutes. The only way of stopping them is killing them.” Spencer answered, albeit his thoughts were still far, far away from the scene.

“But stop them from doing what? Causing a divorce? Being a homewrecker? Polluting the city?” She wondered out loud.

“These are all valid possibilities,” Rossi nodded, “we now know from your interview that rich men are regulars here. Maybe one of them was unfaithful and snapped after getting his divorce. Now, he might be taking it out on these girls.” He finished.

“We still need to figure that out.” Morgan sighed. “Hey, babygirl, we need a favor,” Derek said once Penelope picked up his call. “Can you check every upper-class man in Richmond that has recently gotten a divorce?”

“Sure thing, handsome,” she quipped, “it might take some time, though. And I know you’ll need to narrow it down.”

“We’ll keep you posted. Thanks, babygirl.”

“Always happy to help, hot stuff.”

—

Back at the station, the BAU team was surrounded by cops, sharing their findings so far. Spencer was the one to make sure that the cops would be on duty and laser focused on the areas he determined through the geographical profile. Those areas were most likely the ones the next attack would take place. He emphasized, very intently, that they needed cops especially in darker alleys and that they were looking for a male in his thirties. 

Spencer couldn't shake the thought of dread that crept up on him, making him almost paralyzed. The fear of getting to the unsub, of letting him get away, of being too late, of being too early, of not being enough. Every scenario was the worst, his mind working overtime to make sure he had at least an ounce of optimism for months on end, ever since he finally managed to stay clean off Dilaudid. The cops moved around, divided between groups to start surveillance. And the dread kept building inside of him, like a crescendo of horror.

Sitting next to Emily, he decided to break the morbid silence hanging over them. “I'm sorry I lashed out on you, Emily. I don't think I ever apologized.”

Totally not expecting his words, she looked at him, wide-eyed. It took her a second to gather her thoughts and form an answer. “It's no problem. I know what you were going through.”

“Still. It doesn't change much. It's not a good enough excuse for me to treat others poorly.” He couldn't look at her, fiddling with his fingers instead.

“Reid, why do I sense you're talking about something else?”

He sighed. He was so, so tired of keeping it in, of bottling everything in, of swallowing his words so as to not make anyone uncomfortable. “I am.” He confessed, after a moment of silence.

Maybe staying quiet was less morbid than the conversation they were about to have, he mused.

“What happened?”

“That girl, today. The second one. I could tell she's having issues. The same as me, I mean. And she was so nice the entire time. She was trying to make her friend feel better.”

“Spencer…” Emily breathed out, a somewhat reprimanding look on her face. Not that he could see it. “This comparison is unfair on so many levels. First, you've seen her for what? Five minutes? We don't know what she's been through, if she has a family… There are so many possibilities. Maybe she was having a good day—”

“How does one have a good day knowing that they have very high chances of being killed?” He interrupted. A sigh left Emily's lips.

“I don't know. But you do understand why that comparison you made was unfitting, to say the least, right?” 

Right on cue, to make the subject die, he muttered a “I guess.” so she could drop the subject. From afar, Spencer watched as you left a building with a glare on your face. He wondered what you were feeling and if your expression always told you off.

“There she is. Not looking happy.” Emily said, simply, not relating it to the use of any substances out of respect. She could only imagine what he was going through, being forced to watch someone she loves slowly lose themselves over something so trivial, but at the same time, dangerous as a substance.

Spencer pressed his lips on a thin line.

—

You laid there, on a big, albeit uncomfortable bed, simply enduring the sloppy, much erratic thrusts of a man who was old enough to be your dad. Grandfather, if you pushed it a little bit. Internally, you chuckled bitterly at the thought, because those two decided to want distance from you a long, long time ago. You had turned out into a person who many people didn't want to be associated with, so you kind of understood their attitude towards you. Still, it didn't make navigating through this world all by yourself any easier. In fact, it stung harder than you cared to admit, but, for the most part of the time, you were as high as a kite — your coping mechanism to shield your brain for reminiscing about the disgusting, vile man that you had to... satisfy to avoid starving to death. It was a never ending cycle. A torturous one that you wouldn't wish upon your worst enemy.

Speaking of which, the man above you came on your stomach, meaning that the appointment had finally reached its end. You couldn't quite pinpoint if he was the first, second or even third man you've encountered that night, but you didn't care. The effects of the dope made sure you wouldn't remember them the next day. Actually, it had been a while since you had been exposed to daylight. Your routine consisted of being around all night with those men, getting home, scrubbing your skin hard enough to draw blood as you showered, trying to get rid of the feeling of the greedy, disgusting hands all over your body, sleeping all day, getting high and repeating it all over again. Some nights you didn’t have too much strength to do it all. Some days felt like they mashed together with how long it felt with the same ache, the same hole in your chest. Your life was miserable, and you often caught yourself thinking if it was worth it. And, if it was, what for?

"You're so good, princess, kept quiet all the time and shit." The man said as he pulled his shirt back on, covering his thin frame. You cleaned yourself the best you could with a washcloth. "You’re fairly pretty… If you weren't a junkie, I might take you home with me... keep you all to myself, you know?" He inquired, a smirk dancing around his features.

You didn't dignify him with an answer. Instead, you glared at him, even though he couldn't see your face, grabbed the money that had been placed in the nightstand and made a beeline to the door.

You stared at that money with burning rage. If you didn't need it so much, you would definitely tear it apart given the hatred coursing through your veins. You gulped, and it tasted bitter, and it was hard to swallow the lump in your throat. You sold yourself for something as ordinary as money, and it made you so angry because your family was swimming in it. Sometimes, you wished they would drown in it, just to see if your anger simmered down.

You weren't always like this, so... so rotten. Coming from a rich, traditional family, people expected highly from you all the time, thus, you had been an excellent, straight A's student, being the valedictorian of your class at a traditional Catholic school without your teachers needing to double check any records. You also volunteered halftime in an institute that helped old people, which made your parents immensely proud. At that time, you had gotten yourself a boyfriend, your high-school sweetheart, getting engaged to him as you started your third year at a great university, majoring in Psychology. It all went down, though, when you started struggling with addiction.

It started with lighter substances, like alcohol. You drank until you started mumbling out the words you meant to say, going even as far as embarrassing yourself and your fiancée multiple times at social gatherings that involved booze. You loved the thrill, the buzz, the lightness it made you feel, instead of the pile of anxiety that built and seeped into your very bones after being so pushed to the edge your entire life. You thought you liked your life, but after being in touch with people who had a much (what you considered to be) easier life than yours, you started to let loose. Since you didn't have any family around you to put you on a tight leash, you lost control altogether.

When your family realized what had happened, too engrossed in their own businesses and investments and money and anything that was more important than their offsprings, it was too late. You couldn't go a day without drinking, dropping out of schoolcALT without thinking about the consequences for your future. Ironically, you knew and understood pretty well the things you were going through, but battling an addiction requires a lot of strength that you didn't know where to find, since you were all alone. After all, you had pushed all your friends away, your fiancée had walked out on you and your family basically disowned you.

Left to your own devices and unable to keep a steady, serious job, despite your background, you found yourself in the streets.

Sigh.

Opening the door to your small apartment, you got rid of the clothes that began to reek of alcohol, throwing them mindlessly on the floor. You rushed to the bathroom and stared at your own reflection for a moment, noticing the dark spots under your eyes, your dry lips and the lifeless gaze that your eyes had turned into. You had lost quite a bit of weight, now looking like a dead skull, wandering around, doomed to search for any reason to continue living in a world that had been pitch black.

In the bathtub, you scratched your skin aggressively, not being able to avoid the feeling of the remnants of several unknown men, which sensation brought up the comparison that you felt similar to a person who suffers with phantom limb pain: you couldn't see their hands, you couldn't come up with anyone's face, but you couldn't avoid sensing their touch on your skin. But, unlike the syndrome, you didn't feel pain, feeling rather like needles were seeping into your skin, deep enough to reach your bones. But, like the syndrome, it felt like it was yours. Their touch, although invisible, was forever inked into your skin.

You couldn't help the tears running down your face, mixing themselves with the water that poured from the shower. Tears of both pain, disgust, desperation, regret. It was a whirlwind of emotions that you couldn't deal with. As you left the bathroom, you downed half a bottle of vodka, hoping that it would lull you to sleep.

Maybe for good this time.

—

A loud banging on your door roused you from sleep. Your mouth felt dry and your skin felt even worse — it felt like it had been days since you last drank water. Maybe it was true. The loud noise made your head throb in pain. Curled in bed, you tried to muffle the sounds by covering your ears with your hands, but it was just as annoying. The person on the other side of the door seemed hell-bent on seeing you, but you couldn't come up with anyone other than your landlord, because your rent was supposed to be paid yesterday.

Getting up from your bed with a groan of annoyance and pain, you threw on a flannel you found on the floor. Opening the door, you were surprised to see your older brother.

"Y-you?" You asked, baffled. Embarrassed by your own appearance.

"It's me." He said, the usual serious edge to his voice. He said your name, hesitantly. "Can I come in?"

You didn't know what he wanted. The fact that you had been left alone for so long made your heart burn with anger and you wanted to slam the door in his face. You considered it for a moment, but it wouldn't take a genius to know that you needed someone with you, even if for just a couple of minutes, even if it was out of pity. You didn't mind. You relied on the kindness of people to get by, so what harm would it be in accepting a little more pity? More self loathing than you already had and constantly feeded inside you? You judged it impossible.

With a curt nod, you gave him space to enter your apartment. The place was a mess, clothes scattered around, curtains drawn closed, the darkness in the room not only caused by the absence of sunlight. Something somber stopped light from entering. Your brother looked around with an unreadable expression and saw the countless bottles everywhere, from the floor to the couch, not to mention the many white remains on the surfaces like the small coffee table. He blinked away tears, desolate to see you in that position. Desperate to find words. Desperate to find you again in that vessel of a human you had become.

Clearing his throat, “I… heard what's happening. I was worried so I came all the way here to check on you.”

You bit back a bitter laughter. How could someone be this cruel? Abandon you and then treat you like you mattered? It made you almost want to throw up. “I'm alive. Happy?” You couldn't help the snarky remark.

“Come on, you know I'm not like them.” He defended, not able to look you in the eye.

You took a deep, shaky breath, trying to keep your emotions at bay. “If you weren't, you wouldn't have left me, too.”

“Come on, I was going through my own shit, I didn't realize what you were going through until it was too late.”

“Too late? Too late? I spent all my days wishing any of you would pick up the damn phone so that someone could come and get me before I was dead. But you're all the same. So self absorbed, so selfish, so… individualistic.” Your words were daggers, but you couldn't stop yourself from being mean, from trying to push away the only person who seemingly had an interest in helping you. Too bad you felt it was a little too late.

“Don't say that.”

At this point, the verbal vomiting was unstoppable. You sure looked like a maniac, rambling and jumping inconsistently from one topic to another, aiming to hurt him as much as they have hurt you, too. You knew what you were doing, but it felt for a moment that something else was forcing such cruelness out of your mouth. “The final blow was grandma dying, right? So you could finally pretend I don't exist. Keep doing that.”

“Let me help you.” He pleaded, coming close to you.

“I don't need your help.”

“If you don't accept it now, you're gonna spend more time wishing you had.” He said, holding your hands with his own.

“How are you going to help me? By sending me money so that I spend it all on drugs? On booze? Hah, nice one, really.”

“I wouldn't help you kill yourself.” He almost shouted, rage and sadness fighting over which would be the dominant feeling in his eyes.

“Then how? I basically just told you I'm helpless. I'm a ghost. I stopped existing a long time ago.” A sob broke through you, echoing in the walls of your dark apartment. You shut your eyes. “I don't know who I am anymore.”

Silence.

He's probably thinking everything through. Trying to find a way to let me down gently, you thought. “Let me take you somewhere safe. We'll see how it goes.”

You didn't expect that much. Despite wanting to say yes, your mouth was seemingly disconnected from your brain, so your words took a whole different turn. Instead of accepting his help, you simply stated, “I don't think I would stand to let you down again. I'm sorry.” He looks at you, bewildered, but, to you, not strong enough to put up a fight. “Can you please leave? I'm waiting for a friend.”

Defeated, he walks out the door. 

You don't notice the paper with his number left on the kitchen counter. When Renée shows up, dressed in a skin-tight red dress, she sees and runs her finger on the note as if it could save her from every single risk her life could show her. 

—

"We found another body."

Amidst the research and data analysis required to provide the profile, Spencer Reid got easily lost on his obligations and far too focused on his duties in order to help people as fast as he could, which was why he was seemingly terrified of one of the local officer's voice. 

At the crime scene, the found body was once Renée Woods. Spencer watched from afar as the coroner  examined their body and as Derek and Emily searched frantically for anything they could do to help, whether it was examining the crime scene or simply talking to the assigned legists. Spencer, unlike them, stood still. Muscles unable to make any movements besides clenching his hands in fists so tight that his somewhat long nails almost cut through the sensitive skin.

How would you take the news?

What if that was you?

The thought went as quickly as it came, because, from afar, he watched as you showed up, looking skeptical, but soon becoming hysterical once you recognized her, even from a certain distance. You could tell it was her by the clothes she was wearing. You cried hysterically, screaming as if someone had torn apart your heart with their bare hands, sobbing as if you couldn't breathe unless Renée was walking the Earth. A cop touching you, instead of soothing your turmoil, only served as a fuel to the fire raging through you. Sadness, anger, desperation, panic, everything flooding your chest, ragging your breath. You pushed the man away, trying to find a way to enter the crime scene.

Spencer finally was taking control of his body again. Approaching you, calmly, as if you would attack him too if he got too close and too abruptly, or worse, you’d run away, he made his way to you. Noticing your red-rimmed eyes, he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“You said you’d do your best,” you said in a broken voice, looking him in the eye. Defeated.

Silence. All the noise seemed dull, distant, far away. You were in a bubble.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, wide eyes looking at his confused ones. Right now, talking to you felt like whiplash. “I know it wasn’t your fault. I didn’t mean to accuse or blame you. Fuck,” you cursed, bringing your hands to your eyes. “Can I do anything to help? I can… I can try.”

Unbeknownst to you, Emily Prentiss watched your interactions with a puzzled look on her face. You looked and acted so distraught that she felt the need to approach, mindful of the damage the words from an enraged, saddened close friend of a victim would do. Unable to stop her own feet, she approached you. Spencer wouldn't utter a word. You looked nervous, looking from her to him and obsessively trying to wipe your tears that seemingly had their own will to run on your face.

"Can you come with me?" She offered, handing out a blanket for you. You looked at her and amidst the mixed feelings that the grief started etching into your eyes, you could give her a grateful glance.

By her side, you looked at Spencer, who was still frozen in place.

"I'm sorry..." You whispered, looking at the ground.  

He looked straight ahead. Once you were with Emily, he glanced your way with a pitiful look on his face.

—

Days passed. You were in the precinct once they called Renée’s family to break the morbid news. You watched as her mother fell to her knees once one of them told her what had happened to her daughter. You heard the chanting of "I failed, I failed, I failed..." endlessly. And by endlessly, you mean it is still haunting you to this day.

For three days, all you did was escape reality, whether by sleeping or doing drugs. Your brother's contact sat still on the kitchen counter, collecting dust and meaning hesitation from your end.

On the fourth day, you were sober for a couple of hours. You opened the curtains and despite the darkness still loomed around, it felt better. It burned, but in a nice way. As you stared at the note in the counter, untouched, Emily Prentiss knocked on your door to let you know that they were close to catching the killer. His profile was complete, it seemed. Something about a man in his 40s taking out the frustration of his parents’ broken marriage because of his father’s infidelity and his own divorce because of his affairs. Cyclic. Looking at your wrecked state, she told you all about him.

"Why are you telling me this?" You asked as Renée’s mother chant still echoed in your mind.

"First, I thought you needed hope. Second, I was thinking you might recognize him.”

Needless to say, she was right. Your lungs burned at each breath you took, and, in that moment, you decided you would try to be strong. Stronger. Renée’s face came to mind. You had nothing left to lose if you exposed a few rich men. Thanking Emily, you said softly, your tone contrasting with the vile nature of your words, “You said he dumped the girls in a specific place, right?” She nodded. “I don’t know if anyone told you about this one place, but they take some of the girls there. It’s kind of off-radar” 

As you gave her the location, her surprise betrayed her usual composure. “No, nobody did.”

“Do you think it could be helpful?”

—

You found yourself in one of aforementioned building’s room along with Dr. Spencer Reid, as sort of your protector, while the others patrolled the building and the people who came and went, and the local cops lurked around downtown, in the park. You felt nervous, reminiscing about your last interaction with the man. Taking a deep breath, you sat down on a chair. “May I ask you something?” You inquired, carefully. He hadn’t talked much to you unless it was information about what you knew and what he needed to know. He nodded at you, turning his attention to your figure. "Do you like your job? I only ask because... you know... nobody really likes this job."

"... I do, yeah." He muttered, albeit not the whole truth. It was gruesome, but he thought he could manage. Besides, you didn’t need to be exposed to even more disaster. It was bad enough as it was.

"I don’t know if you know or acknowledge this, but not many people choose to do this. It's more of a last option, the one you really don't wanna take." You justified, even though you didn’t quite know why.

You supposed it was the embarrassment that came with being with a man who knew what you did but wasn’t with you to do that.

Understanding flooded his features, a soft "I understand." making its way out of his lips.

"Thanks." I say with a tight-lipped smile. "It means a lot."

He nodded. "You keep fiddling with your necklace."

"It's a locker, actually. It's a picture of me and my grandmother. I don't wear it when I'm.. um... Anyway, it's kinda sacred to me." You chuckled, gripping the accessory tighter. “I wore it today so that it would give me the strength needed to help Renée. And myself.”

He glances at you as if he wanted to know more. After a beat of silence and deciding that it was enough, "Do you have a good relationship with her?"

"I did. We were very close, but she passed away last year, sort of giving my family the free pass to cut me out entirely. I believe they think that I was the one who killed her, my life choices and whatnot."

He furrowed his brows. "You didn't choose this."

"In a way, I did. I knew what I was doing, I just couldn't stop. It's just that... It felt good not to have so much pressure on me, you know? I felt finally free... but what did it cost me? A safe relationship, my education, my family and friends… They never gave me a chance, not even to explain myself. I needed help. Thus far, I have had company my entire life. I didn't know how to exist. Then one of those girls helped me, but I realized that she was struggling to pay rent and I needed to do something, not just sit pretty and be high with the money I had left.”

His silence was unexpected.

In reality, it was caused by the cliché of watching your life passing before your eyes took over his mind. He remembered being drugged by Tobias Hankel, he remembered the needles puncturing his skin and the relief he felt from the entire situation once the substance started running through his veins. He remembered taking Dilaudid from his abductor’s pockets and he remembered staring at his own reflection in the mirror and finding a stranger looking back at him. He remembered being given a chip of sobriety even though he wasn’t sober for that long. He remembered thinking of himself as unworthy as he became more and more dependent, especially when he couldn’t even disguise how affected, how it changed him. Looking at your defeated face, he muttered, “I understand. It changes your perception of things and yourself.”

You could act oblivious and assume that his knowledge of the topic came from books, but you don’t see that expression on just anybody’s face. You felt sorry for him. Sensing he didn’t want to talk about himself any further, even if, in your opinion, wasn’t nearly enough for someone who had battled something as deep as an addiction, you decided to respect his wish. You talked about yourself instead, hoping to give him something, someone to relate to, as you desperately wanted for yourself. “I wasn’t always like this.”

“I’m sure you weren’t.” His voice held that tinge of something you couldn’t quite describe, something distant, but so close at the same time. He saw himself in you, almost if he was talking to himself.

He might have had Penelope check your background. Something about the lost potential resonated deep within him, and it made him all the more anxious to be close to you, to repair something he hadn’t been the one to break. As he looked at you, all he could see was someone in dire need of something, someone to grasp onto. “How does one manage to move past all that?"

Despite the will growing and boiling inside of him, he couldn’t just come up with a magic solution to cut through the darkness surrounding you. "Honestly, I don't know." You couldn’t see when he gulped.

"It's a long way from home. At least, for me."

For a moment, you looked at each other, mouths shut, not a single beat of sound around you. You looked at him, searching for answers and for someone to relate to. Spencer hesitated for a moment, the silence hanging over you like a fog. He wasn't trying to seem disinterested or unkind, but he felt as if his curt phrases weren’t enough to calm your heart. He spoke again, his voice softer, offering a hint of deeper sincerity, "Sorry, I..." he trailed off, unsure how to convey his thoughts without making the situation more hurtful. "I'm sure you can manage it with the right people."

Your grip on your locket softened, letting it fall close to your chest once you let it go. Looking at him, a soft melody started playing in your head.

Patience.

“I’m sorry,” you said, earnestly, which made him look at you with recognition. “Thanks for talking to me. It’s been a while.” 

I missed this feeling.

—

After a few moments, the BAU team had captured the man before he could collect another soul. Everything happened so fast. In one moment, you were in a superficially verbal conversation with Spencer. Despite the shallow nature of the words exchanged, digging deeper, the interaction was filled to the brim with meaning, which made you rethink a thing or two. You shared that much with him.

“Goodbye.” He said, simply. To you, he was not one to speak much. “You’ll be home by spring.” I can’t wait ‘til then, he thought.

“Goodbye, doctor.”

Next thing you knew, as you got home, all by yourself, you decided to reach out for your brother. Telling him you needed help, that you were pessimistic but that it would be foolish not to at least try.

Days at rehab went on as smoothly as they could, considering you were suffering with withdrawal. Your behavior and emotions swayed like waves on a lake surface on a windy day. Deeply unstable, your mind was forced to remember all the hell you’ve been through on a daily basis for the last sad months of your life. Grieving for the version of you you could have been, for Renée, for your sense of self, self-respect and whatever you had lost during those dark times. Often, your hands trembled, you felt cold in a warm, cozy room and there were times your skin felt ablaze, not to mention the whirlwind of thoughts that made your head hurt. You missed feeling numb.

And when I was shipwrecked, I thought of you.

Still, there were afternoons that you would sit on the porch of your bedroom and simply take in the surroundings. The green grass that was taken better off by the employees like it was someone’s first born. The other patients who walked around and closed their eyes as they felt the sun kissing their skin for what it felt like the first time in years. The trees that casted shadows on the grass so that some of them could lay beneath them. The breeze that engulfed your figure and gently touched you, unlike you had been treated. The immense sense of belonging to this existence, of not longer being a stranger to your own life. You would take deep breaths and your lungs wouldn’t ache like before. You pictured the two reasons responsible for making you take the decision that brought you to this place sitting next to you. You held what was left of one of them between your fingertips.

The sudden and constant mood swings made your attitude change at breakneck speed.

Tonight, taking a quick break from the notebook you were scribbling on, you took a look around you. At that moment, everything around you was spinning. You couldn’t breathe, feeling as if the hands that touched you in the past stopped you from inhaling oxygen altogether. You shut your eyes closed and tried to breathe in like the doctors had told you to when things got too hard — it was not working. Panicking further, you stumbled your way to the ensuite bathroom and took a good look at your reflection. You felt shivers running down your body, an uncomfortable feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach as you desperately tried to turn on the faucet to splash some cold water to your face. Unsuccessful, to say the least.

The feeling grew as time went by. You couldn’t stand the discomfort and the memories and the feeling of being inappropriate to go back to living in the real world again. For a moment, you quieted your struggle. You gave in. You glanced at the mirror and although the tears blurred your vision, you were able to wonder if that was your opportunity of finally having the control of your life back. Maybe it was for the better, you thought as you reached for the small blade you secretly kept on the bathroom window. As you started feeling dizzy by the lack of oxygen, you couldn’t help but to think back to the interaction you exchanged with Spencer before you thought of accepting your brother’s offer. Picturing his face, of himself as a person and as a professional, you thought that, for a moment, he was a reflection of all that you wanted to be, all you wanted for yourself.

The blood that gushed from the open cuts of your arms, that drained from your body, felt like the catharsis you needed from all the mishaps that had taken place in your life. As you watched it dribble down your skin and as it stained the floor, you took a deep, difficult breath, feeling lightheaded. No thoughts swarmed your mind anymore. A sob, from both the dull sting of the cuts and of your difficulty breathing, echoed through the bathroom.

No!, you thought you heard a familiar voice scream.

In the cracks of light, I dreamed of you.

Finally taking short puffs of breaths, you kept thinking this was it. That it was for the better. That nothing could save you, nothing could stop the blood from cleansing you and taint the floor in the process. You finally shut your eyes as the tears never ceased to flow from your eyes, feeling hands squeezing your arms where you had drawn vertical lines with the blades. From that moment, everything around you felt mixed, the swaying of a vehicle, the alarmed voices, the brightness behind your eyelids. You never opened your eyes. You couldn't bear to open them and still be here, facing the people who were doing their best to help you.

As you lost consciousness, you finally found peace, your mind finally quieted down, the hands stopped touching your body. You thought you managed a weakened smile in your state.

;

Spencer, much like you, didn't keep much track of the time as it passed, for the things in his world happened too fast and burned too bright. As he approached his desk in the bullpen and he was reading through some emails, dread adorning his features and panic setting in the pit of his stomach as he read your brother's name on the screen — whose contact he had gotten after you were admitted in rehab — and the news he was sharing.

;

You didn't know how much time you had spent unconscious. You didn't have any dreams. You didn't have any thoughts. You were completely numb, as if you were surrounded by a bubble that protected you from anything that could possibly happen.

As you opened your eyes, you recognized a hospital room, wires and needles and the unmistakable smell of that place. Looking at your arms, you noticed the bandages that hid the scars that were certainly forming by now, if the dull ache was anything to go by. When you slowly felt reality creeping in, you didn't dare to look up, afraid to find a judgmental or angry look on someone's face. You focused solely on breathing, too frightened of your surroundings.

You gulped and your throat felt so dry that it almost scratched, which made you erupt in a fit of coughs. That drew the attention of a person sitting right next to you, which you hadn't noticed, too preoccupied with someone's reaction.

Slowly looking up, you found Dr. Reid’s face. You couldn't quite begin to read his expression, as his eyes were full of relief once he saw you were still alive. Hanging by a thread, but still alive. You didn't bother to speak after he silently held a bottle of water with a straw on it for you to drink. Neither did he. At least for some amount of time.

“I didn't know how bad this could get. I mean, I do know, but not because of the reason you probably think. It's not just because I have to study human behavior, but also because I was abducted and drugged,” he started, losing the bravery that it took to look you in the eye. “I know you have nothing to do with this. And that it makes me sound very selfish, because, um, I'm here talking about myself when you are so fragile and so broken, but it's just because I know what you're going through. I know what it's like to not recognize yourself. When we talked in that room, for the first time, I felt alive. I felt seen. I felt like I had finally found a little, small, fleeting piece of myself that had wandered too far once I was… addicted.”

You just took in his words. You already knew why he related to you so much, but hearing him talk so freely and unabashedly about his experience made you somewhat perk up. “I'm in a lot of trouble, aren't I?” You managed to mutter in a weak voice.

“It depends on what you think you're going to do now.” 

“It's a lot of work.”

“Not if it's you.”

“How could you possibly say that?”

“I know a little about your background. My friend looked you up. You looked promising.”

“Yes, past tense. Now I'm just this… vessel of a human. I don't think I have blood, let alone the guts to face the world after this.”

“I'm not calculating your worth on your accomplishments or on the person you used to be.” He sighed, softly.

“Do I even still have worth?”

“Of course you do.”

“Don't waste your breath on me. How could you be so sure?”

“I just do.”

Little did you know, Spencer Reid was not one to pry where it wasn't welcome, but he spent every day letting his mind run to you. He couldn't help but think about you and whether you were actually doing good after the decision you decided to share with him. That was how he found himself having some unsent letters that were soon ripped and thrown away. Telling you about him, wondering about you, wondering if you two could relate on different topics.

“Would it be weird to ask you to trust me on this one?”

“What's the worst that could happen?”

For the first time in years, you had a sincere smile on your face. 

—

The next day, you woke up to a letter addressed to you, which you knew who it was from. 

Your lifeline.

This pain wouldn’t be for evermore.

☆

Part 2

[ninus9607]

3. Mcdreamy & Bar

two weeks later...

I was sitting on a bench in the local park around midday and children were running all over the place. God, I hate kids. After a week, I finally had a day off from the hospital, meaning I slept at least 8 hours. I had forgotten how good sleep was. After the best sleep of my life, I decided to go for a walk and that's how I ended up here. I thought it would be here quiet and peaceful, the perfect place to relax. But I was wrong about that.

There was a terrible noise everywhere. Children were chasing each other and their parents were trying to calm them down. It's just a horrible mess. I tried to ignore it and pulled out the book that I had wanted to finish reading. But after a while, I gave up. As I got up on my way home, something bumped into me. It almost knocked me down, but somehow I stopped it and didn't fall. With an angry look on my face, I turned to see which kid had bumped into me.

But, when I turned around, I saw a cute little golden puppy with the ball in his mouth, looking at me. As soon as I saw him, my eyes turned into little hearts. I was on my knees next to him, caressing him with my hands.

"Hi puppy, oh my god,  you're so cute and smart and beautiful." I praised him in a baby voice. He kept looking at me and his tail was wagging happily. He threw the ball he had in his mouth at my foot... I think he wanted me to play with him. I probably shouldn't just go and play with a stranger's dog, but who could resist the cutest little dog I've ever seen?

I picked up the ball and threw it just a little bit away from me. The dog ran with such energy and in a moment he was back.

"Such a good boy." My heart is bursting with happiness. I have loved dogs since I was a little girl and this little one is just a darling. All of a sudden, I heard someone screaming, and as I turned towards the sound, I saw a woman looking at me, and as she looked at the dog I saw a relief in her face.  it must be the dog's owner. The dog's owner was a woman, with brown hair. But she was far away and I couldn't see much of her face.

When she came to us, she immediately started to apologize. "Oh my God Max! I've been looking for you everywhere!" she said to the dog, and she put the dog on her collar. "I'm so sorry that Max bothered you, he ran away and I couldn't find him anywhere."

When my eyes met hers bright blue eyes, a shiver ran through me. I stood there as if frozen. But I tried to get something out of myself. "O-h t-hat's not a problem, he's very sweet and playful, but you should keep an eye on him, he might get lost." God, why is this happening to me? Darling, gay panic  Fuck even my brain makes fun of me.

"Yes, I'm not used to looking after a dog, it's my niece's but they're on holiday so I'm looking after him."

"If you ever need any help I'd be happy to help." Am I really just offering to help her? Where did I find the courage?

"Oh, I would love to see you again."  And she winked at me with a big smirk on her face. "Can you gi-" Her phone started beeping. She pulled it out of her pocket, and a little sigh came out of her. "I'm so sorry, I have to go, but I'm sure we'll meet again sometime." And then she left.

I sat on the bench for another half an hour or so, thinking about the strange woman I had just met. Something was different about her, some force attracted me to her and I don't even know her name. And she was definitely my type. She looked like she was about 30 or 35 years old. If someone asked me what my type was, that would be the only answer. 

OLDER! Women or men? Both.

I looked at the clock on my phone. It said it was around 3 pm. I agreed with Meredith that I would visit her at 4 pm, so I had plenty of time, and I didn't want to sit in the park for another hour, so I decided to walk, it's about 40 minutes to Meredith's place. Throughout my entire walk, memories of that woman kept popping into my head, It was quite annoying. I felt like a creep who was obsessed with someone.

By the time I got to the Meredith driveway, it was about 3.45 pm. I knocked on her door, but there was no answer. I have tried it twice more, but still no response. Maybe she's asleep? or dead on the floor. OK, that's enough. I took the key she had hidden under the flower pot. Typical American. I walked down the hall to the living room, but no one was there.

"Mer?" nothing. "Meredith?" still no response "Guys?"

Had no one been home? Not even Izzie? No one? That seems strange to me. Izzie's always home. Then I heard a faint voice, but it was more like a sigh. It came from upstairs. I went upstairs to see what was going on, the closer I got to Meredith's room I think I found out what was going on. I think as a normal person I should probably give her some privacy and I wanted to, but I wanted to make fun of her so I just walked up to the door and was going to knock. But when my hand touched the wood of her door, the door flew open. I saw what was going on in the room.

"Meredith?? and Doc. Shepherd???" I was shocked.

"Doc. Anderson you shouldn't be here," He said quickly and covered them with a blanket. Meredith was on top of him and looking at me embarrassed.

"So McDreamy is your McDreamy? I had no idea you had it in ya."

"It's not what it looks like. I can explain." Meredith said with fear in her voice.

"I don't think it's necessary, but don't worry, I won't judge you, but really, McDreamy?" I started to laugh

Meredith smiled at me, knowing I wouldn't tell anyone. She replied "Oh come on, we call him McDreamy for a reason. Don't say his hair isn't great."

"Well, he's not the worst, but he doesn't have a beard. That's a big minus."

"Hey?! I'm still here?" Derek said.

"Darling not now," I said, pointing at him, and he looked at me with amusement.

"But isn't he a little bit too old for you?" I asked Meredith.

"Says Miss I want to fuck all, who are older than me by at least 10 years?"

"Good point Mer, you got me, okay so, you can go back to whatever you were doing, see you tomorrow at the hospital Mer," I said as I closed the door and went into my house. I think I can say that tomorrow's shift with Derek is going to be interesting. When I got home, I made coffee because I was pretty exhausted and a good cup of coffee solves everything. I sat down on the couch with my coffee and turned on the TV.

There were only some reality shows on TV, it was very unusual to watch American channels on TV. Sometimes I miss the reality shows I used to watch at home. I looked at my phone and realized I had forgotten to call my mom. It's a bit harder to communicate with Europe because of the time difference, but if I remember correctly it should be around noon. So I clicked Wattsap and called her.

The phone call lasted about two hours, and my mother asked me all sorts of questions, especially about work and how I was doing. She was very worried about me, but she knew I could take care of myself. Then she told me about the holiday she was taking with her boyfriend. She sounded happy and I was very happy for her.

After the call ended, I sat down at my desk and checked my emails, because it happened on my first day at work, I really don't underestimate it anymore. But my email inbox was empty, so I guess nothing's wrong. I opened Google and scrolled through some news. Nothing very specific.

After a while, I got bored, so I closed it and thought what should I do, maybe I should go to sleep, but it was too early to go to bed, even though I should go to bed when I have free time, but I don't feel like it. So I came up with a great idea.

I can have a few drinks at the Joe Bar where we went with Izzie and George. Then I can get some sleep. So, I took a quick shower and got dressed up in something nice, and maybe a little bit more revealing. I wear a black dress with a slit. I knew I wasn't the skinniest, but I looked good and that was more important to me.  I ordered an Uber and went to the bar.

I walked into the bar and was surprised to find that it was quite full. I sat down on one of the empty stools at the bar. Joe turned to me and asked me what I wanted to drink. but a strange man joined us and put his hand on my thigh. It was a younger guy, but he was obviously drunk.

"Can I buy you a drink, gorgeous?" His hand was still on my exposed thigh and it wasn't very comfortable.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not interested" Probably his drunken brain didn't want to admit that a woman had rejected him, so he still touched me. All of a sudden, a protective arm wrapped around my body at my side.

"I think you have heard that my wife is not interested, so get out of here." My wife? What the fuck is going on? I looked at the woman who called me her wife to protect me from that guy, and to my surprise it was the woman from the park I couldn't stop thinking about. The man muttered a couple of curse words and walked away.

"I hate men who are pushy, even when you say no," she said in an angry tone of voice. But her hand still didn't move from my side.

"Thank you for saving me from him, but I also feel like you are stalking me," I said in a teasing way. But I expected her to just laugh at it, but she surprised me.

"Maybe i am, but let's move on to something more important. I can buy you a drink, darling?" She was looking at me intensely, waiting to see how I'd react. Well, I already knew that I would automatically say yes to her.

"I would be happy if you would," So she ordered us drinks and we sat down together at the next table. Her whole personality enchanted me. She was so charismatic and dominant, and yes, older. She was exactly my type.

"Will you tell me your name then, sweetheart?" Her voice was very hot.

"Lena"

"Amelia" And we shook hands with each other.

"So tell me, what is a beautiful woman like you doing in a bar like this all by herself?" Amelia asked as she took a sip of wine and her eyes kept looking at me. Don't look at me like that. I don't think I can resist you anymore.

And so we spent the whole evening talking, laughing and, above all, flirting. She was very nice and funny, she told me about her family and about her brother who is also a doctor like her. I didn't tell her that I worked in a hospital. I didn't want to tell someone I didn't know very well, although Amelia would be a different case.

As the night went on, I had a few more drinks and that's not a good idea for a cheap stomach. I was a bit drunk and that's not a good combination for me.

"I really enjoyed it Amy, but unfortunately I have to go home and go to bed." I was on my way to my feet, but her hand stopped me.

"You're definitely not going to go alone, I can at least go with you, I want you to be safe."

"No, you don't have to."

"That wasn't a question my dear, I'll take your things and take them with you." And that is what she did.

"Wait a minute, we have to pay, I have a wallet in my pocket."  I stopped her in front of the door but she just smiled at me and said.

"My love, I have already paid for it a long time ago, so you don't need to worry about it."

if I wasn't so drunk, I would definitely argue with her, but she's just awesome. So we left the bar together. I felt safe with her all the way, which was quite difficult for me. When we reached my street, I hugged her to say thank you. She was surprised but hugged me back even though, she was taller than me and it was quite visible.

"Thank you for seeing me off, my house is close by, I'll be safe" I tilted my head up so that I could look into her eyes.

"Okay, you'll be safe from here, I should probably go." Except she didn't move, we stood very close to each other, I could feel her breath. And then I took that step, I don't think I would have done it if I hadn't been drunk. I leaned over to her and kissed her, waiting to see if she was going to move as well. After a while I felt her hands on my body, one of them pulling me even closer to her and the other grabbing the back of my neck.

This woman knows her way around me. Her lips tasted amazing, and I had just experienced the best kiss of my life. When we ran out of breath, we pulled away from each other but she wouldn't let go of me from her grip. My eyes were only on her, trying to find out what she was up to, but before I knew it she was pushing me against the nearest wall and kissing me.

We kissed for a long time. It was indescribable. But she stopped it because she didn't want to use me when I was drunk. How sweet of her. She can use me whenever and wherever and I will be grateful to her.

"Honey, I'm enjoying this very much, but we have to stop because you're drunk and not thinking clearly, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Okay?" She put her hand on my cheek.

I didn't want to stop but she was right, so I just nodded at her. She gave me one last kiss and then turned and walked away. I reached home, I put things on the table in a completely disorganized way. After that, I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes into some comfortable pajamas. Still pretty drunk, I set my alarm for work and sat on the bed.

As soon as I had laid myself down on the bed, my mobile phone started to beep.

Unknown person

Good night Len, I really enjoyed today and I can't wait to see you again, sweet dreams                       

Amelia S ♡

I wanted to write back to her, but the exhaustion got the better of me and I fell asleep.

AN: WOW, It was supposed to be a short part, but somehow it turned out to be the longest one also I apologize in advance for my English and grammar. ( my dysgraphia caused it) Also if you have any questions feel free to ask anything. See you at the next part <3

PS: YES BECCA, Addison will be in the next part.

xx

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Postpartum

Amelia Shepherd x fem!reader Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI (NSFW), sex, oral sex, hella eating out, fingering, etc., mentions of anatomy/body parts, some explicit language, post-pregnancy times (please let me know if I've left anything out!) Word Count: 2.0k

Summary: You're six weeks postpartum, and your doctor has cleared you for sex, but you're worried that it might not be the same anymore. Amelia assuages all of your worries. 😉

Request Info: This was requested by an anonymous user, but the request itself accidentally got deleted! The user also requested that the reader be an ortho surgeon and a third twisted sister. Whoever you are, I hope you find this, and I'm so sorry to have lost your original request!

“You’re good to go,” your OBGYN declared, finishing up your 6-weeks postpartum checkup.

You raised your eyebrows at her. “As in, good to go?”

She laughed. “Good to go, as in cleared to resume any and all sexual activity as you feel ready for it.”

You nodded and repeated it to yourself. “Good to go…”

But as you left Grey-Sloan, making a quick stop at the ortho unit to say hello to the nurses and the other attendings, you couldn’t help but wonder if you really were good to go. Sure, you missed sex with Amelia. You missed her body, missed connecting with her in that way, but you were also so self-conscious. You hadn’t had any major tears or anything, but you had shoved a human head out of your vagina less than two months ago. It was bound to be different down there. It felt different. What if sex didn’t feel good anymore? What if it never did? Or, even worse, what if it looked or felt different for Amelia, and she didn’t like sleeping with you anymore?

You decided to text Meredith and Cristina about it, as you so often did about any and everything.

Y/N: You guys I’ve been cleared for sex

M: Yay!

C: Good for you bitch

Y/N: I’m kinda scared tho…

M: Aw, why?

Y/N: Does it hurt after? Or like idk was Derek weirded out?

C: It feels like I could have been left out of this conversation

M: Shut up Cristina we’re being supportive! And no Y/N it didn’t hurt. You just have to take it slow and do what feels good at the time. And stop if it doesn’t feel good.

C: You don’t have a dick to deal with so you should be okay

M: CRISTINA

Y/N: I mean tbh we have several

M: Ew she’s my sister I didn’t need to know that…

C: I need to know more…

You shook your head and smiled. You decided that you might as well try, if Amelia was up for it. And there was no question that Amelia was up for it. She’d powered through like a champ, but before this, the longest you’d gone without having sex was two weeks and that was only because you’d been brought in as a specialist on a case at another hospital.

When you walked into the apartment, everything was quiet–a rarity at your house these days. You crept through the rooms, looking for Amelia and Pippa, and finally found them in the nursery. Amelia held Pippa to her chest, bouncing her softly as she slept, little chubby cheeks pressing out like she was blowing bubbles.

You placed a hand on Amelia’s back and kissed her on the cheek. You nodded toward Pippa, eyebrows scrunched.

“I just can’t bring myself to put her down,” Amelia whispered. “How was your appointment?”

“Good.”

Amelia stared pointedly at you. “Good good?”

You nodded, smirking.

If Pippa had not been tiny and fragile, Amelia would have tossed her into the crib like a football.

She placed the baby gently on her back in the crib, then crashed into you with the force of a tidal wave–or six weeks of no sex.

She pushed you into the hallway wall, shutting Pippa’s door behind her, and pressed into you, her mouth and hands desperate. She ran her tongue up and down your neck and back to your mouth and yanked your shirt over your head. God, you’d missed this. You’d missed her. Even though she’d been right here next to you the whole time. She groaned as she pushed herself into you, and you smiled into her kiss.

At this rate, Amelia would be finished before you even had a chance to make it to the bed.

“No, no!” she whined as you pulled away, her blue eyes pleading desperately with you.

“Come to bed, Amy,” you teased, taking her by the hand and leading her to the bedroom.

You gently removed her clothes and pushed her onto the bed. “You first,” you said.

She grabbed at your face hungrily as you leaned over her, kissing you with all the fervor of someone who’s love has been lost at sea for several years. She gasped and arched her back as your hand grazed over her clit.

You couldn’t help but smile at how needy she was, her hips bucking into your hand as you held it still, cupping her heat.

“Y/N, don’t fucking tease me,” she scolded, her voice stuttering. “It’s been way too long for that.”

“Oh, you don’t like that?” you said, smug. It was not often that Amelia was this powerless in bed. Usually it was the other way around, so you were enjoying this moment.

She grabbed your face, rough, and then soft as she ran her hand through your hair. “Just finish me already so I can get inside you.” She pulled your face closer, her breath hot in your ear as she whispered. “I’ve missed the taste of you.”

You’d never switched gears faster. No more power trips, just getting Amelia off as quickly as possible.

You kissed and licked your way down her body, intoxicated by the way she pushed into you and pulled you closer. By the time you reached her center, she was panting and glistening and you knew it'd only be a matter of minutes before she was absolute putty.

You pressed soft kisses into her inner thighs, then closer and closer until she was nearly bursting with the want of you, so that when you finally, finally, wrapped your mouth around her clit, she nearly lost her mind. You held her hips in place as she moaned, licking your way through her, around her, inside of her until she was shaking in your arms, hips rolling to meet your tongue. And for the final touch, you slipped two of your fingers inside of her, curling down and around, just how you knew she liked it. Her hands were gripping your hair so hard you thought might pull it out. “Y/N!” she gasped, her breath coming out in short, sharp moans as she came on your fingers. You smiled as you buried your face in her, guiding her through her high and back down again.

“Holy shit,” she breathed, her chest still heaving.

“Good?” you asked, already knowing the answer, as you wiped your mouth.

She nodded, still struggling to catch her breath. “Give me a second.”

You lay down next to her, feeling wildly pleased with yourself, especially when Amelia rolled over on top of you and pressed her mouth into yours, moaning as she tasted herself on your lips.

But as she worked her way down your body, anxiety shot through you.

You grabbed her hand. “Amy, wait…”

She looked up at you, concerned.

“You don’t have to,” you said, avoiding her eyes.

“I know I don’t,” she replied, still looking at you curiously. “I want to. I’ve wanted to for months.”

“I think…” you stuttered. “I think I’d really rather you didn’t.”

Amelia’s eyebrows furrowed. “Hey,” she said, laying down next to you and propping herself up on her elbow so she could see your face. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just not ready.”

“That’s fine, but you seemed super ready about two minutes ago.”

You didn’t respond, fiddling with an edge of your comforter.

“Y/N,” she said, brushing your hair behind your ear. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head please.”

She took your hand and you played with her fingers for a moment before answering.

“I’m scared you won't like it.”

Amelia looked genuinely shocked. “You’re what now?”

“I got messed up down there,” you mumbled. “What if it’s not like normal for you?”

“Oh, babe,” she said, caressing your face. “You’re not messed up. You could never be messed up. You’re you and I love you. I love all of you.”

You stayed quiet.

“Honey,” she continued, more emphatic now. “Your body made a whole human. A human that is sleeping in the bedroom down the hallway. A beautiful, precious human that I love with all my heart and hope with all my heart stays asleep for a while so that I can get in there. She had her time. It's my fucking turn."

You couldn’t help but giggle a bit.

“Listen,” she ranted, excited that your mood was brightening and trying to make you laugh more. “I’m like the Lewis and Clark of vaginas, okay? The wilderness must be explored. I gotta get in there and get the lay of the land. And it might be new, right?”

You nodded, grinning and blushing.

“But new doesn’t mean bad. Lots of times new means better. So just… let me do my exploring, okay?”

“Okay,” you acquiesced.

Amelia was gentler with this attempt, slow and steady and worshipful as she moved down your body, taking her time especially at the place where your uterus still bulged, where new stretch marks had drawn their way across your abdomen. And when she got to your center, she was gentle there, too, mindful of your anxiety, mindful that it might take your body more time than usual to warm up.

She was loving and slow and obsessive, sighing with pleasure as she placed kisses along the inside of your thighs, on your clit, all over you. Amelia’s careful touch had washed away most of your anxiety, leaving behind your flushed face, the shuddering of your body each time her skin met yours.

And when finally, finally, she had you wet and whimpering, she dove in like a woman starved.

“Amy,” you breathed, lightly holding her head in your hands as you threw your own head back, your hips rising to meet her. You could feel her smile against you.

“You want more?” she asked, and you knew she meant, Do you want fingers or a strap or a toy or anything like that?

You shook your head. “No, just–” Your breath caught in your throat, replaced by a moan as the knot in your lower abdomen tightened.  “Just keep going.”

If there was one thing about Amelia, it was that she could eat you out forever. You’d been afraid that would change, but clearly your fears had been unfounded. She was insatiable.

“Amy–” you exclaimed, arching your back as your body approached the edge. You couldn’t even get the words out, just “Amy” over and over.

She reached up to grasp one of your hands in hers as you fell apart around her, Amelia lapping up every last bit of you.

You breathed heavily, watching as Amelia emerged from between your thighs, grinning like an idiot, her face an absolute mess.

You laughed as she wiped her face. “I take it your expedition went well?”

“God!” she exclaimed, flopping down beside you. “I missed you.”

“We literally have not been apart for weeks.”

“Okay, well, then I missed your vagina.”

You giggled, rolling over a bit to kiss her on the cheek. “You’re a dork.”

“Yeah, but I’m your dork,” Amelia retorted, pulling you in for another heated kiss.

You were interrupted then by a loud, crinkly wail through the baby monitor.

Amelia groaned, but you could see a smile creeping in. She stood and stretched. “I’ll go get her.”

“Amelia!” you hissed, throwing a pillow at her. “You can't bring her in here! We’re naked, and it smells like sex!”

“She’s six weeks old! She won’t remember!” Amelia nodded at you. “Go take a shower. Relax. Then we can switch. It's almost time to feed her anyway.”

You lay in bed a moment longer, waiting to hear Amelia on the baby monitor.

“Hello!” she cooed, her voice crackling through the speaker as Pippa continued to cry. “Hi, pretty girl! Oh, I know. I know. You want Mama? Let’s go see her. Oh, you love your mama, don’t you? Mommy does, too.”

You smiled, your heart full as you listened.

“We loooooove Mama, don’t we? Yes, we do. We love her so much.”

[midnightlizard]

Hi I love your work so I thought that i would request something. A meredith one where after dereks death she doesn’t want a relationship so she pushes anyone that is interested in her away. But the reader (male or g!n I don’t mind) comes as an new neurosurgeon and makes her fall in love with them. But Meredith being Meredith feels bad about moving on from Derek and tries to distance herself. So the reader tries to explain and to show her that she deserves being loved and that Derek would want her to move on. You can add some soft smut at the end if you want, like reader is trying to make her feel loved and wanted. (btw sorry for the long request)

You deserve a second chance

Meredith Grey x gn!reader

A/N: hello and thank you! it turned into a kinda one-sided-hate to lovers cause I think it's fitting, also I had to separate this into two parts because it came out too long (part 2 now out!)

Warnings: slight angst, cursing

Word count: 3.1k

-

-

Everything felt new.

The halls were the same, the rooms were the same, Meredith could map the entire building with her eyes closed and could tell you the quickest route to any elevator or the best on-call room for every floor. That's how much she knew the hospital.

But as she walked through the corridors she couldn't help but feel like a stranger. Every patient she was treating was gone and there were some new faces among the nurses too. Despite her indisputable abilities Meredith felt like an intern all over again.

That's what a year away from everyone can do to you.

But she felt the need to come back, she had to; so there she was, looking at the board to check her next surgery.

"I thought Amelia had a day off" she whispered with furrowed eyebrows, remembering how the Shepherd offered to babysit her kids while she was at work, so the aneurysm scheduled for noon was confusing.

But as she moved her eyes to the doctor's name in charge of the surgery, she felt an unhealthy amount of bile forming up in her throat.

- - - -

"You hired a new neurosurgeon?" it didn't take long for Meredith to find Webber, and talk to him in a way that was too loud to be professional, and too angry to be directed at her boss.

"Meredith" he couldn't say he was surprised, in fact he was almost expecting the outburst. So he asked the resident he was talking to leave them alone before turning to look at her "you know we had to" he already knew what to say

"there's already Amelia. There's no need to hire someone else" her eyes were frantic as they searched Webber's, and maybe somewhere in her head she knew she was being unreasonable, but all she could see right now was her husband being replaced without a care.

"Derek wasn't working here anymore Meredith" Richard kept his tone even, while subtly trying to get everyone's attention off them "you know how many people come to this hospital every day, Amelia couldn't do it all on her own" Amelia, because using the brunette's last name wouldn't be a great move right now. "and (y/l/n) is a very capable surgeon so I want them working here."

The blonde loudly sighed and squeezed her eyes shut "I have a surgery" that technically wasn't a lie, but her main goal was to get out of there

The man watched her leave with a sigh. Hopefully with time Meredith would see he made the right choice.

- - - -

For the next few weeks Meredith avoided you, she saw you talking to your patients, she saw your face, so she knew who to avoid. This was a big hospital, it shouldn't be hard to do it for as long as she needed to, even if that was forever.

But she was never that lucky.

She opened the door to the x-ray room where Amelia told her she would be, her head lowered to look at her patient's scans. "Amelia can you take a look at this, I think-" she stopped mid sentence when she found you looking at her, arm propped up on the armrest of the chair with a curious look on your face. An empty chair next to you.

This was the first time she looked into your eyes.

"you're not Amelia"

"clearly not" you chuckled. The first time she heard your voice. "she just got called into surgery, but you can ask me if you need a consult" you offered, peering at the scans in her hands.

"no it's okay" she shook her head after a second "I'll just wait for her"

"oh I don't think you want to" you interjected, getting up from your seat "she should be in there for hours and if it's urgent you better ask me" you gently took the scans from her and started esaminating them, earning a stern look from the surgeon. "what do you think it is?"

Even though you just asked it to know her opinion, Meredith took that as a sign you didn't know how to do your job. Just what she needed to hate you more.

"an aneurysm." she answered anyway "They brought her to me because she was complaining about stomach pain, but as I was talking to her I noticed-"

"It's a tumor" you stated with confidence, not raising your head from the papers.

"what? no I think-" she started, but you cut her off once more.

"is her vision blurry?"

Meredith rolled her eyes "dark spots around the corner of her eyes"

You quietly nodded to yourself "it's almost touching the optic nerve. We need to operate soon if we don't want her going blind" you gave her the scans back, and she instantly took them "I'll book an O.R. for tomorrow"

She bit her tongue to prevent herself from mentioning that 'we' you used. Instead she nodded, murmured a 'thanks' and got out of the room.

- - - -

"this is an aneurysm, right?"

Amelia's eyes fell on the scans Meredith showed her as soon as she got out of surgery, gloves still on. She gave the woman a confused look, but didn't say anything, and freed her hands to flip through the papers.

"I tried asking (Y/l/n) but they seemed uncertain so I want a second op-"

"nop, it's a tumor" she quickly answered, with the same confidence you showed a couple of hours before "and it's close to the optic nerve, have you booked an O.R. yet?"

Meredith sighed and started following Amelia through the halls "yes, (Y/l/n) did"

"good, then you're all set. Why did you ask me?"

she wasn't expecting Meredith to tell her the truth. She often bragged about her ability to keep her feelings hidden, but she asked anyway.

And she did it this time too "I told you they seemed uncertain"

"you don't like them" Amelia stopped in front of the other woman, almost making her bump into her. She saw the defensive stance the blonde took, and continued talking. "you don't like that they're a neurosurgeon like Derek was, and you don't like that they work here, like Derek did"

Meredith shook her head, not liking the look on the brunette's face. She tried to deny her, but couldn't find an excuse believable enough for Amelia to drop it. So she kept silent.

"trust me, I know because I did too" her voice turned somewhat softer "it took me weeks not to cuss them out every chance I got." she stopped for a second, her old feelings resurfacing "they're not trying to replace Derek, okay? they're just doing their job, and we should let them" she ended with a shrug and raised the scans in her hands "and this is a tumor, so trust them in the O.R."

- - - -

The next day, Meredith reluctantly scrubbed in with you, and let you work on her patient's brain while she worked on her liver. It was a standard procedure on her part, so she had no problem in keeping an eye on you from time to time.

Your hands were steady and your eyes were focused, never wavering from your work, your voice soft as you talked to your resident, explaining your steps to him and asking him questions.

Your voice held the same softness whenever you tried to make small talk with Meredith, and every time, she shot you down. She didn't sound particularly rude - Amelia's words echoing in her head - but she wasn't craving to chitchat.

- - - -

It was only when the patient was discharged that she willingly started a conversation with you.

"thanks for the help, by the way" was all she said, so gently you thought she was talking to someone else. But you shook your head and smiled at her regardless, claiming it was a pleasure. She offered you a polite smile, and went off to do her own thing.

From that moment on you started talking more and more each day, and it wasn't always job-related.

You started hanging out with Amelia so she often found you sitting on her couch when she got back from work; you told her you would stop if it made her uncomfortable, but she assured you it was fine. Besides, it was Amelia's house too, so she had every right to invite you any time she wanted.

That's what she told herself, the only reason why she didn't mind you being at her place.

Actually, that was not the only reason.

"Bailey loves when you play with him, and it actually gives me a break from keeping an eye on all three of them, so really, don't worry about it" in the time you spent at her place, you also met her kids, and they seemed to love you. Well, of course kids like someone who plays with them and hands them candies while their mother isn't looking.

But that's it. Meredith didn't have any ulterior motives for wanting you near her all the time.

You, on the other end, wanted to be near Meredith without hiding behind the excuse of hanging out with Amelia or helping her babysit.

When you first came to grey sloan memorial you had already heard about Meredith and her mother. Sure, you learned from experience to never trust rumors and to only believe what happened right in front of your eyes.

But you saw Meredith Grey operate, you saw how her brain worked while in the O.R., and how it worked outside of it. And you wanted to see more of it.

You couldn't say you were the only one, or at least you thought- hoped so.

Meredith kept on giving you mixed signals, and after what Amelia told you about Derek and what happened to him you decided to go at her pace, and only ask her out directly once you were sure she liked you back and was ready.

But that didn't stop you from testing the waters.

- - - -

"so you think we should go for the heart first?" he raised his eyebrows

"I mean, yea but you'd have to be quick, I can't waste time" you could feel Riggs' eyes on you as you observed the charts

"quantify quick"

You shrugged "I don't know, an hour? We can't leave him open for too long"

"no that's not enough time, if I rush things I could kill him" And with a shake of the man's head, you were back to square one.

Impossible cases were fun only once you found a way to make them possible. But after two hours in the same room with Riggs, you were still in that gray area between the two.

"what are you two grumbling about?" a familiar voice made itself known, making the both of you turn to the door.

"brainstorming" Riggs replied simply "you wanted something?"

"hi Mer" you interjected, your smile growing in size when she reciprocated.

"Maggie wanted you to take a look at these, they're not urgent but page her as soon as you do" she handed him three charts, probably Maggie's patients' "everyone seems to be delegating today" she added with a sigh.

While the cardiac surgeon started flipping through the pages, you took in Meredith's hooded eyes and loose ponytail "you okay?"

She was silent for a second, before shrugging "Zola didn't want to go to sleep last night and didn't want to go to school today, Ellis cried all night and Bailey gave me two of her patients-"

"Bailey your son?"

"the chief" she squinted her eyes unamused, while Riggs' laugh echoed between the two of you "so I'll be better once I get home" she resumed

You glanced at the man, making sure he was invested in the papers Maggie gave him, before clearing your throat "hey, uhm" you waited for Meredith to look at you "I'm going to the bar to get a drink later, want to join me for a bite?"

She opened her mouth, seemingly debating on her answer, then shook her head after a minute "I can't, I have to put the kids to bed I'm sorry-"

"no no it's okay, don't worry" you waved your hand around, lightly swaying in your chair.

Meredith responded to your small smile with one of her own, though her eyes seemed to not want to end it there.

"uh, don't forget to page Maggie when you're done with them" she told Riggs. Then, with a small wave, she got out of the room.

"Yikes" the sound of papers colliding loudly with the table made you turn your neck to the other surgeon.

"what"

"nothing it's just" he shrugged his shoulders at your accusatory tone "I've been in your shoes, it's hard. good luck" he shook his head "I mean I failed so you definitely need it"

"oh fuck off, and focus on the case" you shot him a look and rolled your eyes at his arrogant, amused smile.

Riggs laughed at your comment, ready to respond, but the way you were biting on your lip, visibly lost in the papers in front of you, prevented him from doing so.

"Do you have an idea?"

It took a few more seconds, before you got up from your seat, relieved smile gracing your face "Maggie could be there too. She can take care of the heart and you'll work on the veins around it. How long do you think it'll take?"

Riggs thought it over, before nodding with a smile "I'd say no more than forty minutes"

"That way we won't leave him open for too long"

"we should have Meredith here more often" he joked, pointing a finger in your direction.

- - - -

After figuring the case out with Riggs you had just hoped for a quiet rest of the shift; but the world didn't want that for you, as one of you patients got rushed into surgery, so here you were now, getting out of the hospital two hours after your shift normally ended.

You stopped mid yawn when you heard footsteps quickly approaching. Turning around, you found Meredith standing in front of you, now dressed in her normal clothes, brown jacket around her shoulders, and ragged breaths coming out of her mouth.

"you're still here? I thought you already went home?"

She remained silent for a second to consider her words, covering it up as just catching her breath, then quickly spoke up "you're driving"

"what?"

"to the bar." She started explaining, watching as a smile started to make itself present on your face "I'm too tired to drive and I want to drink so you'll drive me home too"

You were actually about to go home, the day had taken a toll on you so you had decided to just go home to sleep. But Meredith didn't need to know that.

You would withhold that small information since she finally accepted to go out with you.

You weren't even sure you could call it 'going out', you didn't phrase it like that and you don't think she would have agreed to it if you did.

So this was just two friends hanging out. You'd take whatever she was willing to give you.

"okay" you said "my car is that way"

- - - -

The 'friendly hangout' went well, thankfully there was never tension or awkward silence when the two of you were alone.

Sober Meredith ranted to you about her stressful day and how she wanted to ground all three of her children for a whole week so she could get some rest. While tipsy Meredith scolded you for even thinking about work or your personal problems, "we came here to relax" she claimed, completely oblivious to her own hypocrisy.

And just as you promised, you didn't have a single glass of liquor, so you could drive a tipsy Meredith home, safe and sound.

"I left my car at the hospital" when she spoke up again after a quiet car ride - where you suspected she fell asleep - her words weren't slurred anymore, but they were still hard to hear with how her face was squashed against your shoulder. She was trying to keep herself warm, she said, tightening the jacket around her middle.

You were careful with your steps as to not make her lose balance. You were almost at her porch by now.

"I know, I drove us to the bar" You stopped walking and Meredith straightened her back.

You kept quiet, not wanting to disturb the atmosphere of the night, while she turned her body to unlock the door.

All the lights were off and the house seemed to be completely silent, Amelia and Maggie were probably already asleep. You let out a quiet yawn, shaking your head to try and wake yourself up. You couldn't afford to fall asleep on the road.

In the meantime, Meredith was still facing the door, the key was inside the hole but you didn't hear it turn yet. Her head hung low while her hand delicately gripped the door handle.

Before you could question it she turned around, letting her bag fall to the ground. She took a step closer to you, heart beating wildly in her chest paired with a weird ringing in her ears. It was only partially due to the alcohol.

You kept looking at her, a small smile on your lips despite your confusion, and she soon found herself unable to look away.

Your eyes were soft, she noticed, they were darker under this light but she could still catch a glimpse of their natural colour. She took a step closer, wanting to take a better look. You raised your hand along your waist in surprise, and she almost thought you were about to touch her. Almost wished you did.

Yet another step was taken, to the point where your feet were almost touching.

She didn't notice you leaning in.

From this distance Meredith could smell your perfume clearly. She already knew she liked it, she got acquainted with it while her head was resting on your shoulder. You didn't reek of alcohol, if there was any trace of it she knew it was her fault. But you still smelled the same you did hours ago.

Her hand grabbed your forearm to keep you there. She liked your perfume. It was new, it was different. Different from-

She took two steps back. Derek never smelled like that.

You tried taking a step forward, calling after her, but her hand left your forearm and moved in between you two to stop your movements.

"it's late" she shook her head, picking up her bag from the floor "you should go"

You opened your mouth, your defeated look was probably why she avoided your eyes "Mer"

"you should go" she repeated, and her hand was already pushing the door open, quickly disappearing behind it.

You refrained yourself from yelling after her, not wanting to wake up anyone, so you just sighed, heading back to your car.

Meredith grey Masterlist - Grey's anatomy Masterlist

General Masterlist

[veryberryjelly]

not one hair outta place

married at first strike - 0.0 the hen do

jamie tartt x fem!reader [ 0.9k ]

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

You rubbed your palms along your legs as the car neared closer and closer to the destination you could spot on your driver’s gps. 

A mantra repeated in your head like a broken record. 

‘I’m ready for this’ 

You hadn’t been the one to come up with this idea. One of your friends had sent you the link to the applications and at the time you thought it couldn’t hurt. 

There was no way you’d get chosen out of thousands of applicants. 

And when you got that email that your application had been moved to the next stage of the process, you were sure you wouldn’t get through any more stages. 

But now you were here. Sat in the back of a car on the way to a hen party.

When the car stopped you took in a shuddering breath and opened up the back door, thanking the driver before approaching the open doors. 

You heard voices. 

You weren’t the first one here. 

Another deep breath, one more step and you were met with a wave of cheers and welcomes as one of the other girls approached you. 

“ hi, sweetheart. You look so good ! “ the redhead exclaimed as she wrapped you in a quick hug. 

“ Thank you, you look incredible too. I’m y/n “

“ Amelia. Can I get you some bubbly ?” 

“ absolutely “ 

You followed her over to the small bar table where 10 glasses of champagne rested alongside two ice buckets. 

You were very quickly introduced to the rest of the girls in the room, greeting each and every one of them with a smile and a compliment about their outfit, because they all looked fantastic.

As more women flooded in, you fell into a conversation with the group, learning why all of these beautiful, intelligent and successful women needed the help of experts to find someone. 

A round of gasps pulled you from your conversation, causing you to flinch and almost spill your drink. 

You turned your gaze towards the door to find what everyone was gasping at. 

“ evening, ladies “ 

A guy. 

You didn’t know a lot about this experiment, but you were pretty sure this was a hen party. 

“ oh, he must be paired with another guy on the stag night “ 

Oh. 

He was quick to introduce himself as Oscar, and also confirmed that, yes, he was gay. 

Unbeknownst to the hens, a similar thing was happening over at the stag party.

A round of confused noises spread around the room when a woman walked in amongst the men. 

“ hey boys. Room for one more ?” the girl spoke. 

The boys had gathered that she was the last one to enter based simply on how many men were already in the room. 

A head of walnut mist turned towards the new member of the stag party. 

Not what he expected. 

But she was very attractive, so he figured he would try and get on side. 

He stood from the seat he had gotten comfortable in and made his way over to her, a smirk crawling it’s way onto his lips. 

“ Want a drink ?” he suggested, motioning towards the bar with two buckets of drinks. 

“Definitely“ she replied, following him towards the bar where she stuck her hand out to shake his. “ isla “ 

“Jamie“ he replied, his hand slotting into hers. “ what can i get for you, isla ?” he questioned, his eyes only leaving hers to momentarily drop to scan her body when she was identifying the drink options. 

“I’ll take a white wine” 

Jamie was quick to fulfill her request, but not long after he placed the glass in her hand, a new voice entered the room. 

“Welcome everyone, to the experiment. My name is Derek, and i’m here to help guide you all through this.”

“Welcome everyone, to the experiment. My name is Claire, and i’m here to help guide you all through this.”

Every pair of eyes was on the newcomer in the room, a woman they all identified as one of the experts. 

“ enjoy your last night as single people because by this time tomorrow, you will all be married to someone chosen specifically for you “ 

Her sentence sent a chill down your spine. One you were sure was rooted in both fear and excitement. 

“ as you’ve no doubt noticed, you are joined by one of our grooms. That is because we have two same sex couples this year “ 

“ as you’ve no doubt noticed, you are joined by one of our brides. That is because we have two same sex couples this year “ 

That had jamie’s hopes of scoring with isla dropping to the floor. He was good, but even he wouldn’t be able to score with a lesbian. 

“ have a good night, everyone. This time tomorrow, you’ll be married to someone the experts have matched with you “ 

All that Jamie could hope for, was that his partner would be a lot easier to get with than isla. Or he may as well have just stayed in Richmond.

With that, Derek left, and the room lit up with discussion. 

Primarily about which groom was into men, and where the other groom was. 

The conversation was practically identical at the Hen Party. But no one chose to voice it, most likely told by the production team to keep it a secret for the sake of suspense. 

But that didn’t mean that you couldn’t focus on enjoying the night and getting to know the people you would be seeing a lot of over the next few weeks. 

taglist ;; @rexorangecounty @jamiebigbuttedtartt @neenieweenie @drmeghanjones @kaitlyn2907 @yokolesbianism

[mrs-johansson]

Strangers in the night - Scarlett Johansson x Fem!Reader

Part 20:

“Today we are joined by an amazing actress, director, and screenwriter. You’ve seen her in films like Red Sparrow, Lady Bird, and the Divergent trilogy. Please welcome, Y/n Cole,” called out James Corden and I walked out from the back.

I sat on the sofa and before we started he introduced the other guest. Ellen fucking Pompeo. “Oh my god hi,” I stood up and Ellen spread her arms with a wide smile. “Hi!” She said and we hugged. “I am fangirling, so sorry,” we all sat down. “I’m guessing you’re a Grey’s Anatomy fan, Y/n,” started James. “Are you kidding? I live and breathe by Grey’s Anatomy,” I said and the crowd laughed along with Ellen. “It’s season 15 now, who is your favorite character at the moment?” “Ugh… I looove Meredith,” I glanced at Ellen and she smiled. “I truly think since Derek died, she’s a better character in general. I love Jo, oh Amelia, she’s the best. Alex is one of my favorites too, along with Bailey. I can’t choose!” I sighed and shook my head. “Do you watch the show often?” Asked James. “Oh yeah. Very often. Actually, I made my girlfriend watch it with me, so we started at the beginning,” I said, already nervous about what was coming now that I mentioned Scarlett. James saw the opportunity and with a smile, he started talking. “Now that you’ve mentioned, you just went public with your girlfriend who’s none other than Scarlett Johansson,” he said and the crowd erupted in cheers and I just shyly smiled. “I was genuinely surprised when I saw your post. I haven’t heard any rumors or that kind of talk around the two of you,” he said. “That was a struggle, believe me,” I chuckled, and then so did the crowd. “We did our very best to lay low at all times. And we just shot Jojo Rabbit so it was very important for us not to look like we’re just trying to promote the movie, so we just laid low for a while now.” “But you’re happy?” Asked James and I smiled very widely just knowing how happy I actually am. “I can’t even describe how happy I am. It just feels… right,” I explained even though I could barely put my feelings into words.

***

“Please water them Scar, they're gonna die if you don’t,” I basically whined as she helped me move my suitcases into the car outside. “I will water your plants every day,” she let the suitcase over to my driver who put it in the truck. “Thank you,” I said and he sat behind the wheel. “Have fun and text me when you can. I’ll bring Rose when I can,” Scarlett took my hands. Smiling cutely. “I will. I’ll miss you but it’s gonna be fun when I come home,” I smiled and she nodded. “It sure will.” “Okay, I need to leave. I love you,” I gave her a long kiss before pulling her in a hug. “I love you too.”

I got into the car and we made our way to the airport where I got on the plane and took off to Massachusetts.

On the plane I’ve read the script multiple times, memorizing my bigger parts.

When I touched down I checked into the hotel and because we have a tight schedule, the table read was just 2 hours after my landing.

Getting all my essentials for the rest of the day and I was at the office in no time.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so comfortable going into a new project. I’ve worked with the director before, I’ll have Flo there and Timmy, and the only thing I was nervous about is Meryl Streep. I don’t think I need to explain that.

I walked into the room and I spotted Florence right away, who was speaking to Emma Watson and Eliza Scanlen. There was Greta Gerwig at the front table talking with probably the producers. I didn’t see Timothée anywhere so I quickly texted him but then I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I turned around and I was faced with the icon herself, Meryl Streep. “I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry. I just wanted to say hi, before we start,” she said and I was just standing there, my mouth dry. The next thing I know something just hit me in the back. Like a crumpled piece of paper. Quickly cleaned my throat and answered. “Sorry,” I chuckled. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m such a big fan of yours, but I’m sure you get this from everyone,” I mumbled, trying to not faint. “Oh well, it’s not the same from everyone, so thank you. But, I must say I’m also a fan of your work. Red Sparrow was amazing,” said MERYL STREEP. I can’t wait to tell my dad about this. “Wow, uhm… thank you so much. It means a lot,” I smiled and with a hand on my shoulder once again she stepped away and went over to Greta. Timmy literally jumped to my side and I’m sure he heard everything because he had a big smile on his face, his eyebrows almost meeting with his hairline from the excitement. “That was siiick,” he whisper-yelled and shook me by the shoulders. “I just can’t believe that happened,” I said. I spoke with everyone a little, and I was really excited about this movie.

After we all got our seats, Greta spoke a few words and we started.

We had such a great time. Everyone was laughing and when something emotional happened we all paid attention to those who were in the scene.

Around 8 pm we finished and it was amazing. We all had great chemistry with each other so I think this is gonna work out really well.

“Do you guys want to go have dinner? I know a great place,” I suggested and most of them accepted the invite.

Timothée, Florence and I got into one car and Emma, Eliza, James and Laura into the other one. Laura needed a little convincing to tag along because she said “I’m too old to go with all of you”, but she’s way too cool not to come with us.

We all fell into conversation pretty quickly as we got to the restaurant. Everyone was talking to someone and I think everyone felt comfortable with one another. “So you get to experience both Noah and Greta’s directing methods, that must be interesting,” I said to Laura who was sitting next to me. “Yeah, it’s so fun. Both of them are so different but I’m sure they’ll have some similarities.” “You guys shot the whole of Marriage Story on film, right?” “Yes, but I’m sure Scarlett told you all about it,” she smiled cheekily. I smiled shyly and nodded. “She did, yeah. I love the story so much, it’s just so full of love and your character just seems so fun and cool,” I said. “It is an amazing story. Noah did such a great job with the script. But let’s not talk about work in off time too, I could barely get Scarlett away from her phone while working,” she bumped her shoulder to mine and I just smiled. “I uhm… we talked a lot that time yeah,” I said and Laura smiled knowingly. “Ah well her smile was different. She was happy and glowing. I think you surprised everyone, but I could tell it’s genuine. I’m glad you have each other.”

***

“Hello?” Heard the voice over the phone. “Scarlett? Baby, hi,” I mumbled as I saw her beautiful face on the screen. “Okay, you’re drunk. First day went well then,” she chuckled adorably. “It was so fun! Oh my God, Meryl Streep is amazing. She said Red Sparrow was amazing. Funny because I’m naked in that one,” I said while taking my dress off, but I accidentally stumbled onto the couch. “Careful there.” “I’m fine,” I threw the dress on the floor and made my way to the bed. “Take off your makeup before you go to bed, baby,” said Scarlett over the phone. “I don’t want to though,” I whined as I sat on the fluffy bed. “You’ll thank me tomorrow.” “Fine,” I sighed and moved to the bathroom. “How was your day?” I mumbled as I fidgeted with my skincare bag. “It was good. We had some reshoots for Endgame so it was fun,” she said. “Oh don’t tell me any spoilers or I’m gonna cry,” I started to take my makeup off. “I won’t, I won’t. I think you’re gonna like it though.” “Yeah? I’m sure you’ll look hot in it so I’m not worried,” I smirked at the screen and she just laughed. “I’ve never seen you this drunk before, how much did you have?” “Just a couple glasses to be honest,” I shrugged. “Aha, I’m not so sure about that.” “I’m telling you, it wasn’t a lot.” “If I text Laura, are you sure she’s gonna say the same thing?” I glanced down at the phone and a smile pulled on my lips. “No.” “Yeah, that’s what I thought, but I’m glad you’re already having fun. I’m sure it’s gonna be a great shoot.” “Oh my god, yeeees. I love everyone so much,” I threw the makeup wipes in the trash and rinsed my face with cold water before going back to the bedroom. “Take a painkiller in case this all goes to hell. And drink a lot of water.” “I’ve been drunk before, I know how this works Mom,” I chuckled. “I just want to make sure you’re okay, baby.” “I know, I know. Thank you for that,” I blew a kiss towards the screen. “Always. What’s the plan tomorrow?” She asked. As I could see, she was just lying in bed with glasses and a big sweatshirt on. The TV reflected from her glasses making it a bit difficult to see her eyes. “Rehearsals for the next week and just after that we start shooting. But I can’t waaaait, I’m so excited for this one. I just know that it’s gonna be so so good and fun,” I laid down in bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. “I’m excited for you and to see it. Have you done a period movie yet, I don’t think so, right?” “Not this old, no. The latest was the Gatsby I think,” I yawned while trying hard to focus on the conversation. “You should go to bed, Y/n,” Scarlett said as she got up from her bed. “I really should but I love talking to my girlfriend, she’s kinda fun you know,” I rolled over to my stomach, trying to get comfortable. “Yeah? Well, your girlfriend is not going anywhere so you can speak to her whenever you’re free.” “I know,” I said slowly, just looking at the screen and admiring how amazing she was. “I love you,” I said, still feeling the booze. “I love you too, you drunk. Go to bed, honey. Text me when you wake up, okay?” She said softly with the cutest smile on her face. “I will. I love you.” “I love you too, sleep well.” “You too.”

***

All the cast members filled up the room as we were waiting for Greta. Florence on my right side and Timothée on the left. Sunglasses on both of their faces, sliding off their chairs, heads tilted back. “How are you not dead?” Murmured Timmy as he pulled the hood of his sweater over his head. “I have an amazing girlfriend who takes care of me. And you crazy people just downed every glass you found on the table,” I gave him a bottle of water. “Thanks.”

“Alright everybody, I hope you had a good night's sleep. Today is like to go through some of the bigger monologues so we can work on those if it’s necessary,” Greta explained and as I looked at my friends, I quietly chuckled. “Today’s gonna be fun.”