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#depression is. really fucking hard.
sanzuphobe · 2 years
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im convinced that the people who see depression as like an 'easy' disorder or a mental illness without stigma have never been really fucking depressed lol
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Oup Automaton au Sun doesnt look so good
Kind of spoilery but what can you do
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yellowocaballero · 1 year
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So fucking glad to see someone talk about SSS Class revival hunter 😭 I lived it so much and I feel like no one ever mentions it against more popular titles like ORV or even The Lout of the counts family, so I'm so glad to come here and see your amazing takes :>
Thank you for the ask which lets me talk about SSSCRH (the version I read was titled 'Suicide Hunter', which tbh I like more - no beating around the bush).
It's hard to draw an accurate comparison since I'm going off just the webtoon for SSSCRH, while I'm going off both the webtoon and the webnovel for ORV. And I love ORV, ORV is my media blorbo right now, it hydraulic presses my brain, I am writing ORV fanfic - it's, like, funner to enjoy. But SSSRH is just better. In the vast majority of ways it is is better. It's better than the holy trinity by a wide margin. TW talk of suicide obviously.
I can't believe I'm saying this but you need a basic understanding of Buddhism in order to understand SSSCRH. It's not about Gongja's suicides - he doesn't suicide from depression or lack of self-esteem. SSSCRH is about suffering in the Buddhist sense - dukkha. I don't want to make this an essay, so I might reblog this with more information, but extremely shortly:
The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism is the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering. You've heard that Buddhists say 'life is suffering'. To put it one way that doesn't require defining a lot of words: the cause of suffering is experiencing the world as we percieve it instead of how it truly is. Suffering isn't just being miserable and in pain, and life isn't suffering because life sucks and global warming exists and people voted for Trump. Life is suffering because we can experience beautiful and joyful moments in this world, but we do not exist in the moment of that happiness or place our ego/'self' between us and that happiness. Living in that moment, accepting the moment as it is unconditionally, is freedom from suffering. The Buddha tries to free people from suffering through teaching Buddhism.
"What does this have to do with the webnovel and manwha about a guy murdering himself thousands of times" it has everything to do with it. Because SSSCRH is about suffering, and it is about using suffering as a tool in order to experience a world unfiltered by ego and break down the artificial boundaries between human beings. Suffering in SSSCRH is not a bad thing. Gongja has the unique capability to (reincarnate.) experience a person's suffering in unity with them, which dissolves the delusion of separation between people and puts us in touch with the reality of oneness.
The Murim arc was fucking insane because Gongja pulls a Big Bodhisattva Move and walks through the suffering of the world in order to achieve full understanding of the human experience. He takes all of the suffering of the world into himself and is liberated. You can tell it's Buddhist because death was not presented as a bad thing - death was an aspect of a happy ending for the Heavenly Demon lady, because she was finishing her life according to her own joy, and because her teachings were passed on she did not truly die.
But the purpose of embracing suffering is to discover the ability to fully embrace life, and that's where Heavenly Demon's teachings were incomplete - as the ghost dude said, Gongja hasn't even experienced his own full life and the infinite capability for his own happiness. You can only feel the depths of sadness when you've felt the depths of happiness. Sadness deserves its place in the world and it can strengthen you, but so does happiness.
Gongja is attention-seeking, envious, and unbelievably petty. When he drills down into his own desires and why he wants the things he wants, you see that he has a very strong sense of justice and right and wrong - he realizes he doesn't want to be famous, he wants to be acknowledged, but on an even deeper level he is desperate for love and to be loved. Everything he does is to experience love, and as such he learns to love others. His love for the Flamey Asshole was purely parasocial and ego-filled, with no concern for who he was as a human. Throughout the manwha, he grows to care for people as they truly are and pierce through any delusions or misleading outward appearances. He has released all attachment to life and death, and as such does not fear death, and as such has taken a step on the road towards becoming a Boddhisatva who frees others from the cycle of samsara, and as a result has learned sick sword techniques and is sooo good at beating people up.
I think the only other thing I want to mention here because otherwise this is an essay: in almost every time loop/regression story, only the final regression matters. In stories with dungeon monsters and NPCs, only the humans matter. The regressor exists in a space where there are no consequences for their actions, so they act terribly and do whatever because none of it matters. In Groundhog Day Bill Murray acts like an asshole because he can. That's not the case here. Everything Gongja does matters. The NPCs are fake, but Gongja never treats them as anything less than real people who deserve life. Once he understands a person's life he never treats them as unimportant. No loop is thrown away and no person or life is disregarded. His choices matter, the way he treats others matters, and Gongja never treats anybody as if they don't matter except for himself.
That was not short. There is a lot more. The female characters are so good and so rich. From a craft perspective it is excellently paced and has a wonderful sense of set-up/payoff and balances tone and maintains a lot of momentum, which is really hard in a time loop story. You have to do a few very specific things to write OP characters well and SSSCRH does it very well. There's more to say from a craft perspective and it's hard to judge accurately from a webtoon but it's good. I was so strangely struck the entire time about how sincere and genuine it was, how it said what it said with no trace of irony of confusion, and I think that's what stuck with me the most.
TL;DR: SSS Class Revival Hunter is good for a lot of very normal reasons, such as excellent pacing and set-up/pay off and characters, but it's also so sincerely and genuinely Buddhist that it blew my tits clean off.
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valtsv · 1 year
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cw disordered eating but i'm actually really proud of myself for how much more i enjoy food now that i've learned to work with my issues around it and find ways to ensure i get enough to eat even when i don't feel like it by being kinder to myself and getting back into enjoying cooking and experimenting with recipes. i forgot how nice it is to not be hungry and tired all the time.
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arson-09 · 1 month
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i dont think ill ever recover from the pure tragedy that is Touya Todorokis story/life. Genuinely the ending did mental damage to me
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misfithive · 1 year
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The Fault in our Stars x Wilmon
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kinos-fortress-2 · 10 months
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idk comfort characters moment ig
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lokh · 4 months
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unfortunate news: you don't suddenly remember things you did during Depression Years when you become not depressed
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oceanwithouthermoon · 8 months
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i hate college i just want to think about saiki kusuo forever :((
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cartoonghosts · 29 days
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genuinely people need to tag triggers. Love all the 'not my responsibility to tag stuff the way you want it' shit but that is for fandom and weird kinks and whatever not LITERAL PICTURES OF SELF HARM AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE like I'd be fine if it was tagged 'tw blood' (which I don't have blocked!! I'd still be triggered as fuck but hey you tried idc) but when you don't tag it at all I have to assume you are actually trying to hurt someone. Yeah I block immediately but thst doesn't change the fact that I'm triggered and the sh urges are back. This is true for text posts too, although I try to block words (I genuinely hate it so deeply when people sidestep other people's word blocks with 'sewerslide' or button mash numbers in the word like. I am going to fucking kill you. 'Oh noo it's triggering to me uwu' bitch you made me actively suicidal for the first time in months. Fucking die. Don't post that shit if using the actual words triggers you). You ABSOLUTELY ARE responsible for what you put out into the words. People saying 'oh ur not responsible for other peoples triggers and emotions' are genuinely heartless and have never felt human empathy. You ain't responsible for how I react to your content, but you NEED to try your best to give people the bare minimum of warnings when you post triggering shit. Look at ur vent post and be like 'hey I'm gonna tag this as tw vent/ tw si' and you genuinely might save someone's life. Probably not but the chance should be enough for you to care and if it isn't, block me. Don't argue, just block me now.
#tw suicide mention#tw sui ideation#tw vent#Tw self harm#Tw sh#I'm just pissed as fuck#And since I'm in a bad mood I want to fucking kill someone violently#I'm trying to find some cute art on tumblr to look at and I get images of people's gaping bloody injuries#And someone talking about viscerally wanting to die#Because when I like and support and reblog mental health discussion and support#Tumblr algorithm then finds me a post tagged with like#Mental health#(Speaking of:)#tw mental health#Or depression#And yeah I get how it can be really nice to vent online and scream into the void I do it myself a ton#But if you aren't in the mental place to tag shit and do the bare minimum to be kind to others#Just save it as a draft#Come back 10 minutes later and add tws#It is genuinely so easy to not hurt people#Why the fuck would you choose to do it#What is wrong with you#Tbh this whole post is a lot more aggressive than I wanted to be but I'm really freaked out rn#And if I don't keep ranting I'm scared of what's gonna happen in general#I know I won't die and I really do believe thst I can keep myself safe for now but fuck it's hard and it would be easy if people were kind#And the worst thing is thst we are#I love people and I love how kind we are to others and I love how almost anyone is willing to be gentle with someone who needs it#So I know that this is a conscious decision to either remain ignorant to just to straight up hurt people#And that's so much worse than getting triggered#It's like I'm grieving someone who's still alive
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soppsop · 1 year
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i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((
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spacedustmantis · 1 year
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there's so much to unpack from this stream
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stabbyfoxandrew · 3 months
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:(
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dykeferatu · 2 months
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i was discussing this with luke earlier but i think it's kind of funny how at the moment taeho is more pathetic than magpie has ever been.
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I think the reason trans girl mob goes off so hard is because… the show is inherently about a kid who’s an outcast learning to be his best most happy self. Like people always say be yourself yeah but that usually doesn’t actually mean anything.
Mob psychos thesis statement is you are NOT special, and that is beautiful because it means you can be anything. Just because you’re a good artist and a shit singer doesn’t mean you should do art instead of singing, you should do what makes you happy and strive to be as good at it as you can, because mediocre is an achievement when you aren’t special, it’s about self improvement, not being the best.
And then you get a kid, who’s constantly terrified of his own emotions and how they effect others and is seen as naive, who doesn’t fit the stereotypical masculine world well (weak as hell, cares a lot about emotions, pacifist) and doesn’t fit the stereotypical feminine world well either (reserved usually, in the body improvement club, horrible fashion, not able to read a room) and you say part of being the best, happiest possible version of yourself is realizing your gender, and it’s not a sad thing, and it’s not about anyone else, it’s about being the best you possible.
I don’t think mob in show is trans or would be any better or worse at being a girl than he is at being a boy, because it isn’t about that. It’s about the idea that when people do the things that are important to them without regard for what other people might think and only focus on being who they want to be (not who they think they should be, not on who they are, who they WANT to be, who would be both a good person and make them happy) that that is the best, happiest, most successful version of them. And I think that’s beautiful.
#trans girl mob#trans mob#Trans Sheigo Kageyama#mob psycho 100#meta thoughts#trans#just thinking about if everyone’s not special then maybe you can be who you want to be again#and you’re the protagonist of your own life#might be because I saw the episode with the depressed room and the cultural fair again#and how they thought the one guys problem was being unable to grasp his own life#mob and serizawa both having breakdowns about possibly wasting their lives and mob deciding he doesn’t want his age#to be the only thing that changes#and how mob worked really really hard on the costumes and the result was no one said anything good but no one complained#and how he got 70 in the marathon which isn’t a lot but is over TWO HUNDRED places further than before#and body improvement club in general#the beauty in you don’t have to be special and aren’t and that’s fine because everything is still beautiful and impressive in its own way#like yeah I might be living in one room and sharing living space with people I don’t know#instead of my own apartment or house#but I’m still fucking doing it and I’m happy and it’s cheaper than my last place#it’s important to hold onto and chase what matters to you#without clinging to things just because you always have and it feels safe or like you want it bc it used to be important#and to not want soemthing so bad that what you have now doesn’t matter#but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still reach for something better#anyway I’m rambling if you haven’t watched mob psycho go do it it genuinely changed my life for the better
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snobgoblin · 1 year
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anyone occasionally push everyone away for literally no reason and then act surprised when nobody talks to you anymore
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