#depression is No More everyone <3 i'm cured

[mikewheelersfanfic]

OMG OMG OMG

ok i'm mostly focusing on my polycule i have going on so uh bear with me cause i can ramble (one song per guy bc of this)

1.mike

calico kid - humorus ; smalltown boy - bronski beat ; geyser - mitski

calico kid:

"You’ll see what we all thought you knew Confusing reflection for truth"

you think you know what people think of you; mike is someone that spends a lot of time reflecting on what people think of him, especially as a lgbt middle class boy from small town 80s midwest america. his family isn't the richest but they do live in a place where appearance is important.

this often means he looks for his own faults in what other people see in him, as neglect doesn't leave you with much confidence especially if your support system in 3 other kids and your best friend's mom and older brother when they're poor and probably living paycheck to paycheck.

"Things get hard when your heart is missing Calico, you have known all along Calico Kid you’re not broken Feel so hurt but you’re still hoping"

my S/I doesn't come in until after all their upside down stuff, so this is about will, his best friend, moving to california in 1985. he was lost, depressed, but he hoped that seeing will again would magically fix everything and he can go back to being okay for a while, even knowing he just wants the care will gives him in general

"Why try keeping it inside Let yourself let go, enjoy the ride"

he's autistic, he has a lot of trouble with "presenting correctly" even if he has obvious anger issues. he often struggles sharing his feelings about his trauma because people often brush him off because his default is anger. i help him quite a bit with that in our canon (will and i tackle it together), just learning he can still be loved even if he's hurting and angry and he can enjoy his life

"You’re still waiting for the dogwood trees But these seasons change as they please If you’d take some time to let what is be Then your words can match the world’s melody"

pretty much the same. i'd say he embodies this more towards when we meet, but meeting me is kind of a sign that he won't have to change alone (adding will into it too as soon as i meet him)

2.will

nobody - mitski ; boys don't cry - the cure ; car lights - james marriott

car lights:

"Some more fake smiles, I'll just nod my head For one small glimpse of your breath"

will, my love, has always been a quiet guy. a romantic from the background by silent yearning. he'd rather watch his crushes from afar than actively seek them but he'll also do anything just to spend more time, stay a little longer, talk a little more... "c'mon just one more movie?" softie. and with mike and el (his sister, mike's ex)... he was pushing them together using his own feelings in canon when mike nor el really wanted to date each other but had serious comphet

"Forget my fears, ignore all my frets Just lay your mind on my chest"

he's tactile, though not as much as mike, but like before, just wants to stick as close as he can before he's left behind when his feelings are found out. mike and i love hanging off him so we can convince him to do cuddle piles

"You sure we're out of their sight? They're staring, through the car lights I hate what you're doing, I hate that it feels so"

he's self-conscious, aware of what being gay means for him and with everyone expecting him to be queer, of course he's paranoid despite liking small moments with mike and i even in the forest, our bedrooms, or next to the lake when it's empty.

"I'm not scared there's nothing to run from, well I feel like I'm falling for someone"

technically same as before, but because of all the overt homophobia he's afraid of being in love, of liking someone, even if he knows it's okay (we remind him all the time, though, even when he doesn't ask bc we want him comfortable)

You there. Selfshipper. Tell me what song(s) you associate with your F/O(s), and if you want to, say why! This is an open call to nerd and gush to your heart's content! Bonus if you do full lyric analysis bc that's my jam :)

[cherrymoonvol6]

.

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Oh god, oh my, it's finally happening !! Sorry, I've been waiting for two months to send an ask. First of all, love the blog and everything about it !! I've read the majority of fics recommended here and couldn't be more grateful 🖤

Anyway, fangirling aside. Do you by any chance have some preferably mature or explicit fics where Stiles hasn't really returned from being the Nogitsune, even if it's dead, and everyone is afraid of him, except for Derek. Or an AU where Stiles is feared for one or another reason and again only Derek isn't, but is instead extremely drawn to it. Idk, just something with Stiles being badass or straight up kind of vile, but gets soft when Derek gets under his skin. Sigh, I think I'm confusing myself at this point. But yeah, pretty much that.

Thank you in advance!! And once again, this blog cures my depression fr fr ☀️

I think I found some.

Only human by orphan_account

(1/1 I 195 I Not Rated I No Pairing)

The nogitsune is still inside stiles and he had enough

Synthesize by angeryeva

(3/? I 3,820 I Teen I No Pairing)

When Derek Hale brings a dying girl to the Nemeton, a certain fly absorbs enough pain to escape from its glass jar confinement. Finally free, it goes looking for a new body to inhabit, and finds a grieving boy whose mother has just died from frontotemporal dementia.

What the Nogitsune didn't expect, though, was Stiles being a Spark.

or

Stiles and the Nogitsune merge into one being, and tries to navigate Scott's adventures while struggling not to succumb to the hunger for chaos, strife and pain.

Not a Redo by Raven_is_blue 

(1/1 I 3,876 I General I Steter)

They used to be a couple. For years they had no contact with each other, certain that the other had forgotten and moved on. But when chance causes them to meet, they get a second chance. Stiles as a temporary emissary and Peter as himself. Will they? Will the not?

Shadow and Flame by pixieblade

(1/1 I 3,111 I Teen I Sterek)

“Get. Away. From. Him.” The teen said harshly. Derek watched bemusedly as Stiles stalked across the loft. His wooden bat dragging along behind him. It made a scratchthumpscrape sound that was almost mesmerizing.

View the World in Gray by Pickosita5

(1/1 I 3,128 I Teen I No Pairing)

“How does that saying go again? Absolute power corrupts absolutely?” – Stiles learns to live with the fox in his head.

[44jolynecujoh44]

Joestars with trad goth gf

parts 1-6 look up trad goth

Jonathan Joestar

He is too kind to be judging you

He think's you look cool specially the teased hair

He also full on supports you, he will take you thrifting He might enjoy some goth music

Like some of The Cure songs like The Walk, or The Lovecats

Who knows he might even try to sing Lovesong for you

He is just a sweetheart in general

this was really short

Joseph Joestar

I can see this going 2 ways, he makes fun of you, or he is absolutely loves the way you dress that doesn't mean he hasn't tried doing your make up like he did when he was tequila Joseph

If you guys are arguing about something he will 1. call you depressed goth bitch 2. will say you wear to much make up 3. make fun of the fact that you have to wear a wig to tease and not damage you own hair

would definitely show you off to Caesar If Caesar (most definitely will) questions you why your dating him Joseph would pull some crap of, "your just mad you don't have a girlfriend as cool as mine"

Tried going goth with you but gave up

Same as Jonathan he likes some Songs by The Cure, I feel like his favorite would be Fire in Cairo (no jojo reference intended)

He would probably just want to stick to The Beatles 

Jotaro Kujo

probably doesn't care he might think you look cool

He probably already listened to some goth music cause come on it was the 80s

You guys probably have jam sessions which consist of him sitting down or standing up doing nothing but watching you dance around

If you ever ask him for advice for what to wear, your doomed, he's not going to know what to say I have a feeling he let you tease his hair once Maybe even let you straighten his hair too

Josuke Higashikata

LOVES how you dress

He thinks your like the coolest person ever

You help him do his pompadour and he helps you tease your hair

Shows you off to everyone he knows, like father, like son

You guys go hair spray shopping

When it comes to music I feel he would like The Cure, and Siouxsie and The Banshees

Favorite songs are probably Lets Go to Bed and Christine

If someone makes fun of the way you dress expect to get the way he does when they insult his hair

Rohan starts questioning you for his manga

Josuke definitely dragged you away and started shit talking Rohan

Giorno Giovanna

Another one that probably doesn't really care

In an AU where everyone lived including La squadra, he probably gets jealous that you Abbacchio and Risotto have similar interest

Its early 2000s so emo, scene, and mall goth where kind of at its peak so he didn't really think of you as super weird

You and Trish are besties

You want a black trench coat he got you, you want a black corset he is going to get you the best quality one no matter how expensive it is, he is the mafia boss after all

Have a feeling he would like Sisters of Mercy

He would probably like Alice or Temple of Love I'm indecisive so let's throw Body Electric in there to

He is quite curious to know why you decided to be goth, what caught your attention in general

Jolyne Cujoh

Thinks you're a baddie

She hypes you up when you're getting ready to go out somewhere

Honestly I have the feeling that when she was younger she had a scene phase for like 1-2 months

Ya'll go shopping at Hot Topic, she probably buys a few things, you come out with more

When you thrift though, both of ya'll come out with BAGS

You guys modify you're clothes togetherYou basically do everything together, make up, hair, decide on outfits,  and a lot more

When it comes to music, the only thing you guys can agree on is Pitbull

She might like Caifanes, I bet Ermes showed her La Negra Tomasa, and if you didn't already know them, Ermes was there to show you

[gyll-yee-haw]

This can either be Jake or Donnie, but can you write something where they help the reader through a depression episode?

Yes, baby <3

I went with Donnie, because we're having an overdose of him here :)

I know this is a very very sensitive topic, but that's why we have to talk about it. And I'm here for it, as a survivor. But please, extra attention to the warnings on this one!

Warnings: depression, mention of suicidal thoughts, bad description of what I remember from therapy lol, bad parents, Donnie being a sweet perfect bf.

Like 1.2k words.

---

Donnie stroked your hair as you rested your head on his lap, tears staining his jeans. He hated this. Hated seeing you like this. You were so sweet and caring and you didn't deserve this. If he could, he would take your place at any minute.

But he couldn't. And he searched his mind for anything he could possibly do to help. That's when the idea came to his mind.

---

Sitting in front of his therapist, he had the most determined face she had ever seen. There was something different about him that day.

"I need to help someone, but I don't know how." He started, very seriously.

"Someone?" She asked curiously.

"It's my girlfriend." He explained. He didn't want to waste time with those details. He just had to know what to do. "She's been going through a lot..."

"I see." She sat comfortably on her chair. "And how do you think you could help?"

"I don't know." He sighed, playing anxiously with his fingers.

He told her about the way you've been acting and the things you had been saying about yourself. About how hopeless you were, how you just couldn't get out of bed these last days, not going to school or doing the things you liked... the things that made you you.

She paid attention to everything, taking notes when he said something that reminded her of him. It was intriguing how he chased your cure more than he ever seemed to care about his own.

"It's very nice that you want to help her, Donnie. She will need help of everyone she loves." The therapist told him. "But looks like a very serious case. One that may require professional help."

"I know, but her parents just won't pay for it." He explained, annoyed at that thought. "They think she's overreacting, they don't believe her."

"I see." She sighed. Donnie didn't always believe in the effectiveness of therapy as well. But the fact that he was asking for her help, meant he was starting to trust it a bit more. Maybe helping his girlfriend would help him more than he knew. "Remember when we talked about the waves?"

"The feelings are like waves." He repeated it from memory. "The good and the bad ones. They always pass... they reach their peak and then they fade, even when it doesn't look like they will."

"That's very good, Donnie." She smiled. "You should tell her that."

"I will!" He nodded. "What else should I say?"

___

He couldn't get to your house fast enough after he left the therapist's office. And when he did, he found you laying in bed, curled in a ball. Didn't look like you had cried recently, but didn't look like you had gotten any sleep either. You were just holding on.

"Hi, baby." He greeted you sweetly.

"Hey." You spoke weakly, not having used your voice since the last time he was there. "How was therapy?"

"It was nice." He told you, removing his shoes and laying down beside you on the bed. "We actually... talked about you today."

"Me?" You frowned. Oh no. You knew the state you were in was upsetting him, you just didn't know you had become a problem he needed to solve at therapy.

"Yeah." He brought you close, wrapping his arms around you and placing a kiss on the top of your head.

"I'm sorry. I know it sucks being around me right now." You answered. He could feel you were tense, didn't melt in his embrace like you usually did. That's how he knew you misunderstood him.

"It doesn't. It never will." He reassured you. "It's not about me, baby. What I did today was ask for ways to help you."

"You can't help me." You shook your head. "No one can."

"I will. I will help you, no matter what I have to do." He held you just a little tighter, emphasizing his words. There was a moment of silence before he admitted: "I'm fucking terrified of losing you."

Your heart stopped. The fact that Donnie knew what you were thinking without you saying a word was a mixed blessing. It helped when you couldn't physically speak, like these last days. But at the same time, you couldn't hide anything from him. Those thoughts weren't frequent... but you couldn't deny that sometimes you wished you could just disappear. You didn't want to die, you just didn't want to be there sometimes. And those ideas terrified you way too much to be said out loud.

"Promise you'll let me try." He begged.

"Okay." Was all you could say. You didn't feel strong enough to do this, but you wouldn't forgive yourself for breaking his heart.

"Right." There was a little sparkle of hope in his voice. "There's one thing we could try, okay? Not now, but... when the time comes."

He felt you finally relax in his arms, and took that as a sign to continue. "Whenever you feel like saying something bad about yourself... or even think about it... you have to know that it's not true, it's your brain making it up, because it's sick."

"Donnie..." you sighed.

"I know, I know." He interrupted you. "How can you know if your brain is lying? There's this technique... called, hm... best friend technique? Fuck it, I don't remember. You can just use me. It's called Donnie technique now. When you have a bad thought, imagine it's me saying that about myself. Think about how you'd act... if you'd let me say that about me. If the answer is no, then you shouldn't be saying it about you either."

"Donnie technique." You chuckled.

"That's right." His heart filled with joy after hearing you chuckle. "Promise me you will try?"

"I promise." You snuggled closer to his chest. "I'm not sure if it will work, but I'll try."

"That's my girl. My brave girl." He stroked your hair, both of you feeling so peaceful. "There are many things we can try. And we will try them all if we have to. I'll be here with you, okay?"

"Thank you, Don." You rested your forehead against his heartbeat. You felt so safe. The hope he felt earlier was starting to spread towards you. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. You don't have to thank me, you just have to try, okay?"

Your promise was made and you intended to keep it.

[voltaspistol]

Ok guys. Tumblr just cured my friend of hallucinations, and my therapist said that this was potentially AN ACTUAL BREAKTHROUGH for treating moderate psychosis, especially difficult-to-treat cases where the patient is convinced that their hallucinations are more "real" than reality. You remember that thread about Magenta? How it isn't real??

We used that shit to cure someone's hallucinations. First, a bit of background: I'm mentally ill (anxiety, Bipolar II, depression, PTSD-- all held in check by medications and therapy), and I've been helping this kid for a while, let's call him K, who also suffers from mental illnesses (anxiety, drug addiction, and some other things) in sort of a Big Sister capacity. K has been struggling with extremely realistic hallucinations ever since doing DMT, aka, the drug that apparently gives you lasting lifelike hallucinations long after you stop taking it? K was specifically seeing demons. Straight up devils clawing at him. Probably because he was raised Evangelical and is LGBTQ, and his parents bombard him with that shit 24/7.

He described what he was undergoing as "spiritual psychosis" and was adamant that what he was seeing was reality pulled back to reveal the truth of what was going on: That demons were coming for him. Going to a church and getting blessed would make them disappear for a little bit, but then they'd come back stronger than before. There was no way to convince K that hallucinations this real could be anything but the absolute, objective truth.

So I'd seen that thing about Magenta come across my dash, did an edible, watched a Nicholas Cage movie, and I had an idea.

I introduced K to the concept that Magenta does not exist outside of the human mind. He was confused at first, but after explaining that (basically) that the color magenta does not exist outside of the human mind, it made him FINALLY understand that what we perceive is NOT objective reality. So that's Step 1: Use Magenta to understand that no matter how irrefutable your senses tell you your hallucinations are, they are a trick of the mind. Everyone in the whole goddamn world walks around thinking that Magenta is a totally real color that actually exists in the world. That's why you can't trust your hallucinations.

But that left the next problem: If he wasn't experiencing a "spiritual psychosis", that meant that he was experiencing hallucinations, and everyone knows that hallucinations are the product of a diseased mind and honestly isn't it better to have demons that you can chase away with holy water than having a diseased brain that's having hallucinations??? Every time he said the word 'hallucinations' he got visibly agitated. So I suggested we stop calling them Hallucinations. That's a loaded word with so much baggage it isn't helpful anymore. We're calling them "Magentas" now. Wait, why "Magentas"? Maybe-- MAYBE-- your mind IS perceiving SOMETHING that the rest of us aren't seeing. Maybe it's a shift in electromagnetism. Maybe it's a stray neutrino whizzing past. Maybe it's a shift in temperature that's so subtle the rest of us can't detect it, but to your DMT-opened mind, you're seeing it as, well, like the rest of us see magenta when there is (say it with me now) objectively no magenta outside of the human mind. Because, just like Magenta, your brain meat is being ticked by SOMETHING, but what you're seeing isn't what's actually there. But, also yes, I can see the scary face in the wallpaper design if I squint, so he's not crazy for your newly-opened mind to see some pareidolia-- Let's just avoid looking at things that look like scary faces, ok? So that's Step 2: Take the power out of the word "Hallucinations" by calling them something powerless. In this case, Magenta. (Also, stop staring at the wallpaper if it scares you.) Yes, haha, clever fae trick. Steal a thing's true name and it no longer holds power over you, I guess? Step 3 is trickier because you just have to be there for the person and reassure them that while yes, it was a crazy experience, they are not crazy for seeing things after doing DMT and yes they can cancel the upcoming re-baptism and when his parents get cranky at you because they LIKED that their son was suddenly so desperate for church and they hate that your solution does NOT involve getting blessed several times a week or getting re-baptized, you have to NOT scream at them that their fucked up religiosity was the entire reason their son thought his soul was being devoured by demons from hell. (Even though you'd be entirely right for doing so, because it's 100% their fucking fault their kid has deep-seated guilt that's manifesting as hallucinations from the drugs he took to escape his parents profound disappointment that he doesn't want to fuck who they want him to fuck.) K is now doing better. It's been a month, and not only has the severity of his.... Magentas..... Lessened, but the frequency and duration have also dwindled to levels that are manageable and he's confident that eventually they'll vanish entirely. All because Tumblr did a science on us. Now.... If anyone can drop some science that I can spin into an analogy that gets rid of night terrors, K would be grateful. I'd also be delighted to know if this works for anyone else. Please reblog and maybe someone with a grant budget can do a clinical test and will be forced to cite Tumblr as a source.

[crucipuzzled]

About Loid Forger's therapy in SxF manga chapter 77 (Spoilers ahead)

There's a Freudian text for everything. Today's all about The Question of Lay Analysis (1926), also known as Wild Analysis.

Endo did what I have been planning to do for a comic of my own: depict Loid actually working as a Psychiatrist. While I'm glad he took this path, sadly I can't say he did a good job on it.

As some of you know, I'm a therapist grounded in Psychoanalitic Theory. Yes, I like Freud and Lacan, and no, Oedipus Complex is not what you heard it is. I did a brief analysis of Psychiatry stuff in SxF in the past, and today I feel compelled to repeat that exercise.

Let's go in order.

1. The importance of being a third party

What's the reason for which people ask a therapist for help, and not their families or friends? What do we have that they don't?

The answer is pretty simple: neutrality. We don't have a side other than rationality and ethics. A good therapist should be able to listen to his patient without losing objectivity.

When you and your patient have a shared, unique shared experience, it's preferable, even ethical, to refer him to another therapist, in order to preserve the higher interest of the patient. The more neutrality you can muster, the better for the curing process. Otherwise, it's really hard to listen to someone else without being constantly reminded of yourself. It turns into a blind spot.

Now, there are exceptions to this rule, but you must handle them carefully, and always putting the patient at the center. Loid openly talking here about how close he is to the hijacking incident doesn't help much.

In short, you have to ensure that your position in the therapeutic process remains an impartial, neutral Other, and avoid becoming a fellow. It's good to create trust, but not too much, just enough to work.

2. Chronic condition (?)

The biggest difference between a Psychiatrist and a Psychologist is that the first went to Med School. Hence, chronicity is a term that applies mostly for organic conditions, but it's rare in the field of subjectivity.

In my short experience, I've met cases labeled as "chronic depression" being cured. I, myself, cured a case of "compulsive suicide attempts since 15 years old, chronic depression, started hearing evil voices 2 weeks ago". You might think that I'm a great therapist, but it's not the case; it's just that, in order to tackle subjective problems, you ought to go to the root of the symptoms and deal with the subjectivity you find there. Psychoanalitic therapy has proven to be wonderful to treat many conditions that didn't get a cure in other types of psychotherapy.

Of course, it's not a panacea. There are things that we can't figure out yet. But bear in mind that chronicity, in the field of the mind, is more complex than just the passage of time and only a bunch of mental conditions truly admit it.

Jacques Lacan, the most important psychoanalist after Freud, said that the unconscious's track of time is not chronological, but logical. You don't just jump out of adolescence because you turned 18; other things need to happen for you to finally feel like an adult. It's a logical progression. The same can be said about some "chronic" conditions.

3. Explicit Reason of Consultation vs Latent Reason of Consultation

A.K.A Everybody lies.

Psychotherapy is a really weird thing to learn and master. In Psychology School they teach you that you must trust what your patient tells you, but at the same time, distrust him enough. How to conceal both things?

Well, everything is easier when you take Dr. House's words to heart.

Everyone states a reason for consultation, but that first reason is never the real reason, no matter how reasonable it might sound. The trick to discern what the latent, real reason for consultation is, is to determine what the subjective conflict hiding in plain sight is. Sometimes there isn't any and therefore, a full psychotherapy is not necessary (maybe just assisting someone with some things, being there just in case, etc), but most cases are built upon a conflict.

I'm glad that Loid here decided to act like a good Psychiatrist and took a mental note on the oddities.

WELL SAID MY BOY, I'M PROUD OF YOU

I want to remark this, because it's discouraging how many therapists oversee this to simplify their job to an extreme. Believe it or not, there are therapists out there that act upon what their patients tell them first. "Hi doc. I came here today because I got an accident and I think I have PTSD". "Ok, I'll have you practice these mindfulness excercises and you should be ok within a month, see ya". DUDE.

4. The place of truth in the context of Psychotherapy

Ah, the classic temptation of knowing the 'real' truth. Is this patient in front of me bullshitting his way out? Is he in a delirium? Is she telling the truth, or just embellishing her story to make it more believable?

You don't have this struggle once you are certain of your role as a psychotherapist. And your role is to help your patients to deal with their subjective struggles.

In short: Psychoterapy deals with the patient's truth, not with the 'real' truth.

You know who deals with 'real' truth in the field of Mental Health? Social Workers.

We psychotherapists don't need to ascertain our patient's claims. Confronting them with reality usually proves to be fruitless, just like Loid did here ("But you're a respected educator!"). It's way more useful to open the topic by asking more questions such as "How did you reach that conclussion?" "What made you think that way?", or giving a specular answer ("You speak like someone else said that about you", "You're too hard with yourself. Where does that come from?", "It sounds like you're belittling your fear for what your wife could say", etc etc etc).

Whenever you're with a neurotic patient, their own personal truth is the only truth you need to work with. Leave the 'real' truth for people who actually needs it, like Social Workers, Doctors or Judges. Your role with a patient is to make sure that his personal truth can turn into something less painful. No need to talk with their friends and family for info, unless your patient is a child or a teenager; just ask him and stick to what he says word by word.

There's a huge topic about the place of reality in therapy, specially in the field of Psychoanalysis, but if I start this train of thought I'm afraid I'll go down to Hell. If you're interested, I've reblogged some Lacanian pills on this Tumblr, check them out by searching the tag #lacan.

PS: NO LOID, DON'T DO THAT. DON'T BREAK THE TRUST YOU ACHIEVED WITH MR AUSTIN! CONFIDENTIALITY IS A MUST!!

5. Counceling = Psychotherapy?

Loid is a (fake) Psychiatrist, not a psychotherapist, so I can't be too hard on him. Also I stan this man. I'm painfully well aware that councelling and coaching is an alternative to psychotherapy in other parts of the world, mostly in the US. But let's not forget one thing:

Psychotherapists DON'T GIVE ADVICES.

At least, not the ones that take this job seriously.

Everyone can give advices. Do you want an advice? Ask your family or friends, or post something in social media, or ask a complete stranger in the street what to do. You'll get plenty of answers and advices. Maybe a bunch of them will be really useful. Good!

The thing with advices is that: -They act like a universal recipe for a problem -There's no universal recipe to sort a problem -They don't tackle the subjective root of a problem -They assume that the problem can be solved by something you can do upon your surroundings, when the real struggle stems from subjective problems Some advices do help with real struggles, but when you have a subjective conflict, they barely help; hell, sometimes they make everything worse.

Like Loid here.

Remember when I mentioned that the unconscious mind's track of time is not chronological, but logical? This is a great example. Mr Austin won't be able to properly talk with his wife just because Loid adviced him to; he must solve other issues before that.

I'm glad we're on the same page on this one

6. Your therapist is not your friend

Sad but true.

If your therapist is good enough, you won't know many things about his private life. You won't know about his lover, his hobbies, where does he live, what does he fear.

Why the secretism? Because it's useless for the patient. Also because disclosing personal information has the effect of becoming a model for the patient, who would start to imitate you. And finally, because you need to mantain a semblance of neutrality and not getting emotionally close with the patient more than necessary.

PS: It's kinda cute how aware Loid is about Yor's every movement. Kinda. KISS HER ALREADY, GODDAMNIT

7. Talking cure and (how not to use) the divan

I talked a bit about divans here.

There, I mentioned that you should NEVER PUT A PSYCHOTIC PATIENT IN A DIVAN. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE. Well, we can amplify this rule a bit and say that you should avoid the divan with any patient that has a risk of getting seriously upset, like in severe trauma.

The divan is not the only thing that could play against you if badly used. There are cases in Psychiatric Hospitals of patients getting upset because their therapists used the same clothes and hairstyle every single day for months. The point here is that, with psychotic patients and fragile psychic structures (like what happens in traumatized people), you can't use methods that require too much projection.

Also, Lottie here is not performing a Talking Cure.

The divan has been used since Freud to facilitate transference through the Free Association Method. You lay down on it and your therapist ask for whatever crosses your mind first. You don't put a content there beforehand.

(On the same line, if you're a therapist, please refrain from decorating your consultation room with motivational phrases. You're putting words in your patient's mouth before he even starts to speak)

So, it's useless to make Mr Austin lay down on a divan, only to ask him to remember a specific memory. I'd advice (Ha! The irony!) against using the divan here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- To finish my Two Cents, I'd like to point some positive aspects of this chapter. It's nice that a troubled person decides to seek for help. There's still a huge stigma about men requiring mental health help, and it's a nice example to settle to portray one actually going to a Psychiatrist. Men usually struggle with their problems alone and they have it rough.

It's also nice that, in the end, Loid could help his patient. I wonder how (How?!), but it probably means that, at some point of the process, he changed his methods for the better.

And yes. Sometimes, helping one single person can change many lives. I'm honored to be able to attest to that :D

As everyone, I'd expect the logical sucession of events that could follow this chapter: Loid realizing he's got a heck of a wife compared to other marriages, appreciating Yor more, and giving us heavy smut cute TwiYor moments. But Endo has proven to be an author that doesn't like to follow logic. So, let's brace for whatever will come in two weeks.

Thank you for reading!

[totally-not-cassy]

hii<3

I'm cassy and 15 🎀

I struggle w my mental health (sh, depression, ed, ocd and ptbs) so this blog will contain stuff about that so if you feel uncomfortable with that pls block me <3)

looking for moots and follow most of the time back ♡♡♡

dm me If you wna talk 💕

dni If :

homophobic

racist

creep

pedophile

coach

you post any type of fatspo

I don't mind ed/ana accounts following me but stay safe everybody<3

my interests /hobbies

I'm a huge true crime stan ^^

I love reading + music smm

I love radiohead, taylor swift, mitski, nirvana, billie eilish, the beatles, ABBA, lil peep, the smiths, tv girl, lana del rey, MGMT, arctic monkeys, queen, the cure, olivia rodrigo and so many more artists but I'm too lazy to write more rn lol

I dance ballet since I'm 5 yo

I'm an introvert and my personality type is INFJ

I love drawing even tho I’m horrible at it

this is a safe space for everyone btw 🫶🏻

[ugh-yoongi]

HOBI REQUESTS YAY! okay so at first i was thinking it might be hobi's birthday and he stays late at the studio regardless of the day and comes home to reader all tired and drained, but then reader has such a sweet surprise for him when he gets there (whether it be a cake, flowers, balloons, etc.) and it just seems like he can breathe again without the weight of his work on his chest, even if it's just for that night, he can fall asleep with no problem.

OR, considering it's in the name of jess' birthday, it could be reversed? reader's birthday and hobi has the sweet surprise instead? i don't have an idea of what specifically would be demanding so much of reader's attention, but coming home to hobi with his pretty smile on such a day seems like something so beautiful.

that's all i could muster up as of now, 🙃 if you chose to, feel free to play around with it until it's something you are comfortable with! <3

thank you so much for the request! i went with the first one and i hope you enjoy it! <3

(side note: i banged this out in one sitting so i'm tentatively optimistic that my writer's block is cured. we'll see. thank you all for your patience and not showing up in my ask box with pitchforks.)

ataraxia

pairing: hoseok x reader genre: est. relationship au; fluff, a tiny bit of angst warnings: hobi's kind of going through it so there are allusions to poor mental health, otherwise this is mostly fluff. just being there for your person when they're having a tough time. no gendered pronouns used. unedited. rating: e for everyone wordcount: 1k listen to: novo amor - anchor

Hoseok had heard once that babies born in the winter are stronger.

Something about mothers being able to absorb more vitamin D during the summer months.

As he collapses onto the floor of his studio, sweat and exhaustion blurring his vision, he thinks those people are full of shit. What has being born in winter gotten him besides muscle cramps and seasonal depression? Because he’s also at a higher risk for that, which those people lauding his athleticism tend to leave off of the discussion.

He sighs. He’s twenty-nine now, and there’s something truly haunting about the inevitability of time. Can’t slow it down, can’t make it go faster; he just has to sit here and take it. Next year he’ll be thirty, thirty-one the year after that, and on and on it’ll go for the rest of his life.

All he has are these little joys: the squeak of his new sneakers on the studio floor, the kids in his class finally nailing their routine, those peach iced teas he likes being buy one get one free this week at the convenience store next door. He has you, too, but you were smart and traded in your two-cent dreams for the corporate world and now you’re spending his birthday on a business trip to Singapore.

Yoongi would call him an asshole for that, probably. He has friends. Friends who want to see him, buy him a drink and give him gifts, and he appreciates the effort, he does, he’s just… tired. Fatigue has seeped into all of his bones and left him nothing more than a husk of a person. It’s been months of this same unending grind, and he’s running out of self to give.

At least Singapore is warm this time of year. In Seoul, beyond the frosted windows of his studio, there’s nothing but gray-brown slush and a patch of black ice he can’t melt no matter how much he salts it.

“Fuck this,” he mutters.

It’s nearing nine o’clock. He needs to get home; needs to eat something and drag himself into a hot shower before he crawls into bed and spends the entire weekend there. Needs to reply to all the texts on his phone wishing him a happy birthday. Needs to tactfully and politely turn down all the invitations. Needs to post some bubbly, colorful message on social media thanking everyone for the well-wishes and attach a photo from a few weeks ago because he hasn’t been smiling much lately.

First, though, he needs to get off the floor.

He usually likes his walk home. Likes pressing his face to the glass to look at all the window displays when he’s not in the mood to shop. Likes seeing other people go about their days, live their lives. Likes looking at all the ways the city reflects sunlight and fades to husky gold. Likes walking under the cherry blossoms in the spring; likes it even more when a few petals stick to his shoulders and you laugh and brush them off as soon as he comes through the door.

It’s hard to get off the floor when none of that is out there.

But he does it anyway, because maybe he has a bit of that winter strength. He packs up his stuff and sits at the bus stop, counts his exhales as they materialize in front of him, thankful for the heavy coat you’d bought for him a few years ago, now well-worn and no longer itchy. He sits at the back by himself and sends half-assed replies to all of those texts. Scrolls back to stare at the photo you’d sent him this morning—fresh from sleep and barefaced, lips pursed together in a kiss, thumb and pointer fingers together in a heart.

Slush sticks to his shoes as he ducks inside the building. Nearly trips climbing up the stairs, because the two of you live on the fourth floor and it feels too lazy to take the elevator, even when his muscles are screaming from a long day at the dance studio. But it keeps him moving. Keeps him upright and functional when all he wants to do is rot away.

His shoes are dry by the time he reaches the door, soaked into the carpet lining the hallway. His hands still bear the cold—red and unsteady, it takes him a few tries to punch in the code. Gets it wrong twice, and he takes a second to just… stand there, head resting against the door, feeling the weight of the world come down on him.

He’s not sure what he thought twenty-nine would be like, but surely it wasn’t this.

And maybe if he wasn’t feeling so low, he would’ve noticed. Your keys in the bowl by the door, your shoes in the rack. The light on in the kitchen. The smell of the miyeokguk simmering on the stove. The sound of your footsteps as you meet him where he stands, shoulders slumped, eyes brimming with tears and exhaustion.

“Hob-ah?”

There are hands on his face. Soft, he thinks. They’re touching him so softly, treating him just as delicately as he feels. He leans into it; recognizes the perfume stuck to the wrist. Knows it smells like home and an aching he can never seem to put a name to, and you don’t hesitate to wrap him tightly in your arms.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he says, words waterlogged and hesitant as he speaks them into the crook of your neck. Nothing feels real, and he doesn’t trust himself to open his eyes.

You tangle your hands in his hair. Scratch lightly against his scalp. “I got an early flight home. Got back this afternoon.” This is where someone else would ask if he’s okay, try to pry apart his ribcage and look at all the ugly parts, but you don’t. There’s just a small intake of breath and the reluctance to let him go. “The miyeokguk is almost ready,” you say instead. “Do you want to take a shower while I get everything ready?”

Hoseok is reluctant to let go, too, but he’s at his best when he has a task. Needs something to accomplish, something to check off on his imaginary to-do list, so he nods. Pulls away and immediately misses your warmth. Takes your face in his hands and presses a kiss to your forehead. Thank you, it says. I needed you here.

You already know, though. You always do.

[puckpocketed]

get ready for avs essays, babeyyyyyyy!!! 

so i’m actually completely fine with it if you don’t find nate compelling but since you bring him up, i will start with him. 

the thing about fortnite gamergirl nathan mackinnon is that he is like. very talented and reasonably conventionally attractive and also soooooooo cringefail. he’s the league mvp and a stanley cup champion and he has a gorgeous fiancée and he’s rich and he’s smashing through joe sakic’s franchise records left and right.... and he’s succchhhhhh a loser (affectionate). he’s uncomfortable all the time. he doesn’t know how to act. he’s pretty private but also he’ll just Say Things that are way too personal with the exact same tone he’d use to. i dunno. tell you what brand of sneakers he wears. he’ll also reveal things about the most private man in sports, squidney crocsby, that are way too personal—and sid apparently is fine with this because he continues to be boybestfriends and next door neighbors with the guy.

everyone thinks he is soooooo serious alllll the time (in spite of the fact that he is goofy and silly when he’s out with the boys) but it’s just a combination of a) his face just looks like that b) he’s just intense in general. he’s equally unchill about how much he fucking loves the boys and how much he loves his tiny dog. and c) mostly we see him when he is at his fucking job? and when he’s at work it’s All Business. don’t make him do dumb social media shit or ask him stupid questions about whether or not he thinks preseason is too long, he’s! busy! come back when it’s puppy day. 

he’s so focused on being working harder and being better and improving everything about his game and yet!!! he cannot win a faceoff 💖 he trains with squidney all summer! every year!! you would think he could learn something from the guy. but no, he doesn’t even seem to try to win faceoffs sometimes. he’s also. not ? defensively responsible? i do not exactly expect him to play like kopitar, here. i don’t even think he should waste all his energy backchecking; like, that’s not the thing we need him for. but idk from a guy who is sooooo fucking smart about hockey, a little more situational awareness would be nice. just a thought! like, if he wanted to be better at things, maybe he could get better at the things he’s terrible at? (but whatever, this gives me more of an excuse to push my ondřej pavel -> big boys’ club agenda). like. nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰 

his one and only love language is trying to convince the boys to come play with him (jo, jack eichel, mitch marner, jo again). he doesn’t like late games, because he doesn’t nap. and he doesn’t nap because he can’t sleep during the day. and he can’t sleep during the day because he drinks too much water, so he has to piss too much. babygirl, why would you volunteer this information 💕 he tells people to call him “the dogg” and then they do. he says awkward sentences that rewire my brain. he should be cool, but he isn’t!!!!! he extremely fucking isn’t.

this is my natemac thesis, you can take it or leave it (said with love!!!!! there are other players i am significantly more invested in getting people on board with). i think many other people can speak more eloquently than i can about everything impressive he does on the ice. but he’s one of my special little guys bc of everything else

i have no idea what to do with all this <3 I'm here because he just bonked my ducks into oblivion - im hoping this cures his dogboy depression (it was becoming so wretched that it had started leaking into my curated feeds) - and it made me think of this ask which i've been marinating. hello!!

fortnite legend natemack is the exact age to have grown up in the heyday of COD xbox lobbies, do u ever think about that . i think about that now. do u think natedogg is his gamertag. rpf people are you writing gamergirl natemack AUs yet? has that happened yet? (sorry i don't. i don't have any clue what tropes are popular. im just throwing stuff at the wall <3)

nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰

^craziest description of a 1C i've ever heard AND the most compelling he has ever been.

also thank u for not makin some kind of eating disorder joke amongst all this. it IS that serious (to ME) and people do this so much and i think they're not as funny as they think they are <3 (<- WHO SAID THAT!!!)

MYE two cents looking thru a writer/narrative lens: just, like, skimming whatever the hell comes up about him, he strikes me as someone who is very sincere. i get that everyone calls it "intensity" but i think sincerity has its own power. idk. i think he's very brave for wanting what he wants so transparently and wholly. <3 fortnite legend nathan mackinnon you are in my crosshairs......

[muchanmocha]

for the ask game: i request till

(pretty please)

Ty for the ask anon! Doing this for Till really made me realize I feel things that I didn't even know I feel about him.

1. Why I like them

There's just something about how he's so in tune with his emotions. Till has hands down no filter in any way, shape, or form whatsoever and even his compulsion to express himself/his emotions through music as a medium is yet another way for him to further imprint his most authentic existence on the world.

Till is just unabashedly the truest form of himself at all times and watching him react so viscerally to the present feels liberating and infectious.

There's also a confidence he has (which I definitely have a post in the works about) that defines how he interacts with the world. Being a musical genius and a head above the others since his earliest years has consumed his entire life and identity. For better or for worse, his overwhelming confidence in himself and his capabilities is exactly why he confronts situations with no thoughts in his head and no plan except for "I can wing it."

The best part? He's right. He has the power and skill to back up his talk, to flatten his opponent with a song he pulls out on impulse, and it is so exhilarating when he pulls it off.

The worst part? He's wrong. Which leads me to the next section.

(Some of this references/d a Patreon note describing what goes on in his head, which I'll cover in more detail later in the aforementioned wip post.)

2. Why I don't

There is a sort of screwed perspective through which he sees the world, formulated by a naivety and overconfidence that's painful to watch.

He thought he was capable of handling anything on virtue of his strength and in being a genius and it's so understandable why when everything in a valued field came so easily to him in a way no one else can replicate.

But that makes it so much harder to watch when the train rams headlong into a cliff face it thought it could plow through — Till thought he could defy Alien Stage, but the horrors of Round 5, Round 6, and Round 7 showed him just how helpless he was in the face of it.

Because the answer was always no.

"No, what you currently have isn't enough to achieve what you wanted and I'm anguished you couldn't see that until it was too late."

3. Favorite lyrics

'Allow me, to the tips of your fingers'

'Allow me, to the ends of your feet'

4. Favorite frame/screenshot

I knowwww his face isn't even in here, I knooowwww

But god I love this one so much like lookit his fingers???? The precise placements???? The electricity sparking?????????? This shot is absolutely one of my favorites in Round 7 its so pretty and the motion is so cool and and and

5. Favorite outfit

On an objective level I like his Cure outfits best, but they're also the ones least like him so the outfit he wears in the Top 3 promo takes the cake.

We got an asymmetry situation??? Black top and red pants????? Off-shoulder???? And ok maybe I'm just really weak for high collar outfits.

6. Favorite official art

If this ain't the coolest poster in the bunch. I was so excited when I saw this one come in with the artbook. The angles??? The energy???? The movement???? Supreme.

7. Favorite canon fact

The fact that Till is always so uncomfy around Sua and doubly so when puberty hit everyone is so funny and cute to me I'm

I was *this close* to making this my choice for favorite official art

8. Favorite straight-up-not-canon headcanon

It's unlikely for a few different reasons but

Guys

Till is so ace

Like bruh has no fucking interest (pun unintended but appreciated)

9. Favorite song/cover

All-In

It was so hard to choose one over the other but yeah... yeah Till's All-In cover is so delightfully him.

10. Song I want them to cover

Drunk and Party

We've heard rebellious Till, depressed Till, and gunning for the win Till.

What I need now is "just a little tipsy" Till.

Think about it. He's all loosened up due to the alcohol, dominating the vibes of the bar through music, simultaneously revisiting old haunting memories and grounded in the cheer of the present.

Drunk and Party Till would be an older Till who's gone through a lot since Season 50 and I really really want to hear it

[miss0atae]

Random thoughts about Dream Episode 8:

This episode was trolling me! I was so happy during part 2 and 3, so I was expecting everything to finally works well in part 4... just to be disappointed again. Why are you doing this to me Idol Factory?

So I'm glad Wan found some inner peace while traveling abroad. It's good she got the money to do it. I wish I was also loaded and could cure my depression by traveling in a lot of countries. She then came back home and reunited with her mom and friends. Everyone seemed happy until Kim asked her to join her date with Mawin.

I wish I could have a talk with Kim because she can't count on her friends to tell her, she has no romantic feelings or connection with Mawin. Okay she wants to make her mom happy by dating a man because her mom has cancer, but it's clearly not a suitable solution. I believe her mom wants her happy and she is so uncomfortable with Mawin, it hurts.

Let's not talk about how Mawin can't seem to read the signs. Is he stupid or is he pretending not to see the truth? I also found him so annoying when he insisted to present Kim to his family. They've been dating for 3 months only and Kim wasn't really delighted with the idea of meeting his family. I'm glad Wan came even though she wasn't really keen on coming first.

So I don't really like Mawin, but I don't hate him. He is mildly annoying, but mostly harmless. However, his family sucks! They are so backward and so conservative. They way they were trying to pick on Kim and Wan while pretending they were righteous. I'm glad Wan stood up to Kim and they left because they didn't have to accept any of this. In some way we can thanks Mawin's family because they offer Kim and opportunity to break up with their son if she really wants it. Poor Mawin because to have this type of family won't be helpful for him.

It was so refreshing to see Kim and Wan so happy together and enjoying their time. I was screaming, giggling and kicking my feet when I saw them kissing and getting to know each others more. I was like "finally! It's happening"… only to be fooled again! Was it really a dream? We weren't even in Dream Land! It doesn't look like Dream Land! I can't really know if it was true or if Kim got shy and pretended nothing happened.

I felt for Wan because she was the one who was the most bummed out. She really thought it was the beginning of their romantic relationship. I get it. It shouldn't really start this way, because they both haven't admitted they like each other. They are still thinking they share this "platonic love" while both dreaming of kissing each others in Dream Land (Wan being the only one who truly controls her dreams, let's not forget).

Then, Wan and her Mom learned about Kim's mom cancer and they all decided to be together and share a fun time together… just to meet their dads in a café. Awkward…

Next episode is going to be filled with sadness and the teaser for the next episode didn't give anything about Wan and Kim finally talking about their feelings! They need to communicate and stop trying to please their moms or to be controlled by negative emotions coming from what their dads did. It's already episode 8 and we only have 12 episodes for this series. Give me the fluff and the sweetness we deserve after all this angst.

[bunnyboyzyon]

Happy disability pride month yall!!!

Love to everyone, shoutout to all the disabled queers out in the world bc I love u /p (for those who may ask "do I count" here's an article, it tell you what the colors mean near the bottom so you know if you count)

Shoutout to everyone under that white stripe (invisible and undiagnosed disabilities) with physical undiagnosed disabilities who get told they're too young to have trouble with *insert body parts* or that they're just lazy or they just need to work out more. Like no!!! (Personal experience) I've done sports for 2 years!!! I climbed 4 flights of stairs everyday for months!!! I'm not fucking lazy and inactive!!! There is something going on with my legs!!!!!!

Shoutout to those who don't have the ability to get offically diagnosed for whatever reason but have been told by a doctor what they have and people are still like what if you just walked more that'd fix the problem surely (I've been told now by 3 medical professionals that I very likely have EDS, I cannot afford to get that tested so I remain undiagnosed and continually told by people around me if I just worked out I wouldn't have problems, like mf working out does not cure a genetic disorder)

Shoutout to minors with autism that wasn't caught early on who can't get offically diagnosed because their parents have a negative bias towards/misinformation about autism so "you can't possibly have it" (yes I approve of self diagnosis with proper research bc guess what, not everyone can get diagnosed bc not everyone is that privileged!!!)

Shoutout to people with adhd who get called lazy, just bc your brain working differently does not mean you're lazy!!!

Shoutout to people with undiagnosed mental disorders that don't exactly know what's going on and feel like they're going insane, you're not going insane and someday you'll find out what's going on and be able to deal with it <3

Shoutout to everyone with depression who has to deal with the crowd that thinks just going outside or smiling more will fix it, it's genuinely ridiculous that some people still believe this cures depression

Shoutout to people with anxiety that prevents them from going out, whether it be parties, small hangouts, the store, anything, it's okay, there's genuinely so many people out there who feel the same way you do, you're not alone in dealing with this

Shoutout to people whos disabilities make them a picky eater, people act like it's such a wild idea that you don't want to eat certain foods like have they met a vegetarian or a muslim??? They don't complain when they don't eat certain things so leave us alone!!!

Shoutout to everyone who doesn't fall under these shoutouts I listed, I love u too /p and you deserve to be seen too

[chriscrosswallflower-blog]

Alright, spoilers for Heartstopper season 3 ahead, but I need everyone, including @chronicintrovert, to know how much the mental health storyline means to me, now both in the graphic novel and the show. This is going to be a quick, unedited reaction so read at your own risk.

I originally found Heartstopper in the middle of one of the darkest periods of my life. My physical and mental health were terrible and I felt so hopeless about life in general. I ended up going into severe burnout and going into a partial hospitalization program for over 4 months.

During that time, Heartstopper was one of the only things that really brought me comfort and joy. I can't tell you how many times I read the graphic novels and watched the show. The way that it handled mental health is one of the reasons why I found so much comfort in it.

One of the things you hear all the time as a person with a mental illness is that you have too much going for you to be depressed, that if you are just ungrateful. When Charlie's mental health really plummets, he's on top of the world. In his own words, he has a boyfriend that he loves, amazing friends, and he's not being bullied anymore. Things should be fine but they aren't.

Every single time I hear the line "love can't cure mental illness," I break down and cry. When you are in the depths of a mental health crisis, it's like you can see all the people who love you waving from the shore but their words can't reach you. Regardless of how many people love you, you are still having a health crisis and you need medical and/therapeutic intervention, along with the support of your friends and family.

Personally, I have secondary trauma around involuntary hospitalization. The idea of partial hospitalization had been posed to me during a previous mental health crisis but it threw me into a full blown flashback. Almost all you hear about mental hospitals are horror stories, you hardly ever hear about how they help people. I honest-to-god don't know if I would have had the strength to enter that program if I hadn't read about the positive impact that inpatient had on Charlie. It was the first time I had heard a positive narrative about a mental hospital and the first real context I had of the experience.

I was afraid that seeing that play out in more detail in the show would be triggering to me (I'm just a bit over a year out) but instead I felt like it was profoundly healing.

The one line that will always stick with me is when Charlie says that the experience isn't bad - it's hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Mustering up the energy to try to heal when you have little to no hope is like pushing a boulder up a mountain. But little by little you get stronger and you build supports for yourself.

And seeing Charlie recover? Reading that gave me hope, but seeing it? It made me realize how far I have come too. Yes, I have bad days (and weeks, and sometimes months), but I'm not drowning anymore. I want to get better and I'm fighting for it every day.

I am so proud of Charlie, which sounds funny - an adult woman being proud of a fictional teenager, but I am. It's inspiring to see that journey play out. And then I realize that if I'm proud of Charlie, I should be proud of myself too - which is a very odd realization because I am very critical of myself and have struggled with a lot of self doubt and loathing since "the breakdown." We've done the work and have come so far.

So I can't say that this plotline won't be triggering for anyone, but I will say that it has been incredibly healing for this mentally ill girl - possibly lifesaving. And for anyone who loves someone who is mentally ill, you NEED to watch this. Both to get a glimpse into what they go through but also the best depiction of how to support them that I have ever seen.

[king-sassy08]

13 Questions About Books

Tagged by @boyd-clowder thank u very much for the tag :3c I also read way less than I used to, probably because my semesters are so insane that I'm brain fried all summer long now 🫠

1. The last book I read

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. I read that one in a little under 48 hours (I'm depressed). Read that one at the same time as a comic by @raphodraws which was great :3

2. A book I recommend

Hmmm. Probably Testaments by Margaret Atwood or Into the Water by Paula Hawkins! Both are really good.

3. A book I couldn't put down

Leslie Marmon Silko's Ceremony was really good. So was Larry McMurtry's Horseman, Pass By.

Wait, does it have to be a book? I recommend everyone read the introduction chapter to Tom Lynch's Xerophilia. It'll change your brain.

4. A book I've read twice (or more)

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, all of the Gangsta. manga series by Kohske, Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black, Mohsin Hamad's Exit West, The Rabbi's Cat by Joann Sfar...I reread a lot of things.

5. A book on my to-be-read

Preaching and the American Novel by Dawn Coleman

6. A book I've put down

I have put down a few books, for several reasons. I have also MENTALLY put down books, but I've had to finish them for class. A book I put down because I keep getting busy is Stephen King's Dreamcatcher. A book I mentally put down but was forced to finish was Daughters of the North by Sarah Hall. Worst book I've ever read (but a close second is The Water Cure by Sophie Mackintosh). A book I didn't like and didn't finish was Captive Prince, may have been by C.S. Pacat.

7. A book on my wishlist

Um...I actually have no idea. Maybe Borderlands/La Frontera by Gloria Anzaldua? I'd like to own a paper copy of that. Otherwise...no idea. I don't really look for books unless I'm working on something.

8. A favorite book from childhood

The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony Diterlizzi!!

9. A book I would give to a friend

Depends on the friend. Off the top of my head, I would give someone The Darkest Part of the Forest, The Testaments, or Joy Harjo's Poetry Warrior. Or! Spatial and Discursive Violence in the US Southwest by Sánchez and Pita.

10. A fiction book I own

King Henry IV by Shakespeare (best Shakespeare play to exist)

11. A nonfiction book I own

The Origins of the Modern World by Marks (a must read if you would like a historically accurate, non eurocentric view of the colonization of the world during the 1500s and how England and Spain caused an ice age!!)

12. What I am currently reading

The first Fence comic by C.S. Pacat, and also something else but I can't remember,,

13. What I plan on reading next

I'd like to read Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer next, but...we'll see. I may stop reading soon to preserve my brian energy for the upcoming semester.

My shelfie:

It's a pretty old picture from a few years ago, back when I still lived at our old house. My current bookshelf is a sad state of affairs. I have like 10 books here in my apartment. Boo.

My tags (no pressure): @jackest-jack @idkwhattoputformyusername @raphodraws @prismaticate @somsnosas

Thank u again @boyd-clowder , it's been a long time since I contemplated my books :]

[lestiroirsdepopps]

Random thoughts about The Haunting of Hill House.

● Shirley feels guilty for stopping paying for Luke's rehab and that's why she is angry and rejecting him.

● The Haunting and Ducktales share the same universe. In the episode 10 season 3 of the reboot series Ducktales. We learn about "the most haunted house" named Hazel House. Like Hazel Hill.

● Hill without H is ill. I KNOW, I'm very intelligent... but it's funny that every member of the Hill family is ill and everyone who enters the Hill House is getting ill.

● What do you think of if I tell you about a story narrated in a disjointed way about a living labyrinthine house with surnatural creatures that drain families energy and using their fears against them to drive them mad and kill them?

House of Leaves, of course ! I wonder if Mike Flanagan read the book.

● Hazel killed Poppy's kids.

We know for sure that Poppy suspects Hazel of killing her children.

Her son was sick and bangs his head on the wall permanently, maybe he died of his disease... or maybe Hazel looses patience.

Her daughter seems to have suffocated/drowning for a pretty long time, and one day, she died. Maybe she had pneumonia, maybe she had allergies... or maybe she was poisoned.

We will never know the truth about Poppy's children death. HOWEVER 🤨☝️

Hazel surely killed the Dudley's first daughter.

Horace explains to Hugh that Hazel forbade Clara to take maternity leave or slow down her work pace... she actually gave birth during her service. A particularly exhausting service during these months of pregnancy because Hazel's health was declining.

If Hazel had allowed Clara to rest during her pregnancy, her child would surely not have been stillborn. Soooo... maybe Poppy wasn't paranoid about the kids in Hill House.

● Why did Olivia saw 2 parents and 3 kids in her "déjà vu" moment ?

First there were the 2 Hills that built the house and their 2 children, William and Hazel. William had 2 kids with Poppy, a boy (who was is a wheelchair) and a girl (who died drowned in her own lungs. We don't know their names.

Hazel had 2 children (with someone we don't know) named Edward (the ghoul in the basement) and Jacqueline (the owner of the cup of stars).

So, why 3 children ? Another family killed in the house ?

Expose me your theories please !

● Comparison between Magritte "Prof", 1954 and William Hill standing figure.

● The yellow wallpaper.

"The yellow wallpaper" is a book from Charlotte Perkins Gilman who describes the story of a young woman and her husband. He imposes a rest cure on her when she suffers "temporary nervous depression" after the birth of their baby. They spend the summer at a colonial mansion, where the narrator is largely confined to an upstairs nursery.

After days, weeks in the nursery, she slowly became paranoid about he yellow wallpaper in the room.

She describes how the longer one stays in the bedroom, the more the wallpaper appears to mutate. With no stimulus other than the wallpaper, the pattern and designs become increasingly intriguing to the narrator. She soon begins to see a figure in the design. Eventually, she comes to believe that a woman is creeping on all fours behind the pattern. Believing she must free the woman in the wallpaper, she begins to strip the remaining paper off the wall.

I am watching the episode 4, "the twins" right now and when I hear the blind man describing how he went crazy seeing the "egg yolks eyes" everywhere and particularly in the wallpaper I immediately thought about the novel. BUT when I was coping Wikipedia I remembered the story and some part of the resume make me thinking of Olivia Crain.

Their stories are different but I see a pattern and I want you to let me know if you see it too !

● What if there were no ghosts in the house ?

What if the dead were dead but the house by consuming them while they were alive could copy 100% of their appearance and personality, like the Crain family recreated for Nell. Just to trap its prey like a predator. Poppy, William, Hazel and others could be just the house playing tricks and no soul is involved.

TO BE CONTINUED...