#depression for ts
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Having It Out with Melancholy
          If many remedies are prescribed           for an illness, you may be certain           that the illness has no cure.           A. P. CHEKHOV           The Cherry Orchard 1     FROM THE NURSERY When I was born, you waited behind a pile of linen in the nursery, and when we were alone, you lay down on top of me, pressing the bile of desolation into every pore. And from that day on everything under the sun and moon made me sad â even the yellow wooden beads that slid and spun along a spindle on my crib. You taught me to exist without gratitude. You ruined my manners toward God: âWeâre here simply to wait for death; the pleasures of earth are overrated.â I only appeared to belong to my mother, to live among blocks and cotton undershirts with snaps; among red tin lunch boxes and report cards in ugly brown slipcases. I was already yours â the anti-urge, the mutilator of souls. 2     BOTTLES Elavil, Ludiomil, Doxepin, Norpramin, Prozac, Lithium, Xanax, Wellbutrin, Parnate, Nardil, Zoloft. The coated ones smell sweet or have no smell; the powdery ones smell like the chemistry lab at school that made me hold my breath. 3     SUGGESTION FROM A FRIEND You wouldnât be so depressed if you really believed in God. 4     OFTEN Often I go to bed as soon after dinner as seems adult (I mean I try to wait for dark) in order to push away from the massive pain in sleepâs frail wicker coracle. 5     ONCE THERE WAS LIGHT Once, in my early thirties, I saw that I was a speck of light in the great river of light that undulates through time. I was floating with the whole human family. We were all colorsâthose who are living now, those who have died, those who are not yet born. For a few moments I floated, completely calm, and I no longer hated having to exist. Like a crow who smells hot blood you came flying to pull me out of the glowing stream. âIâll hold you up. I never let my dear ones drown!â After that, I wept for days. 6     IN AND OUT The dog searches until he finds me upstairs, lies down with a clatter of elbows, puts his head on my foot. Sometimes the sound of his breathing saves my life â in and out, in and out; a pause, a long sighâŠ. 7     PARDON A piece of burned meat wears my clothes, speaks in my voice, dispatches obligations haltingly, or not at all. It is tired of trying to be stouthearted, tired beyond measure. We move on to the monoamine oxidase inhibitors. Day and night I feel as if I had drunk six cups of coffee, but the pain stops abruptly. With the wonder and bitterness of someone pardoned for a crime she did not commit I come back to marriage and friends, to pink fringed hollyhocks; come back to my desk, books, and chair. 8     CREDO Pharmaceutical wonders are at work but I believe only in this moment of well-being. Unholy ghost, you are certain to come again. Coarse, mean, youâll put your feet on the coffee table, lean back, and turn me into someone who canât take the trouble to speak; someone who canât sleep, or who does nothing but sleep; canât read, or call for an appointment for help. There is nothing I can do against your coming. When I awake, I am still with thee. 9     WOOD THRUSH High on Nardil and June light I wake at four, waiting greedily for the first note of the wood thrush. Easeful air presses through the screen with the wild, complex song of the bird, and I am overcome by ordinary contentment. What hurt me so terribly all my life until this moment? How I love the small, swiftly beating heart of the bird singing in the great maples; its bright, unequivocal eye.
Jane Kenyon, Constance (Graywolf Press, 1993)
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The Tortured Poets Department: Taylor Swift, 2024
Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Depression, Acceptance.
#taylor swift#taylor#swift#ttpd#tsttpd#the tortured poets department#fortnight#fortnight music video#my edit#mine#taylornation#taylors version#swifties#taylor nation#denial#bargaining#anger#depression#acceptance#taylurking#taylorswift13#taylor swift video#tswiftedit#ts#tsedit
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More skeleton shenanigans (full doodle page under the cut)
#art#my art#digital art#doodle#undertale#sans undertale#sans#papyrus#papyrus undertale#underswap#ts underswap#ts underswap sans#ts underswap papyrus#self insert#selfship#ts underswap self insert#Was just thinking to myself how superman used to transform in phone boxes and had a fun brain blast#sans setting up these âboneboothsâ so he can change into costume easily because it leads straight into his bedroom#how? magic. both of them can warp reality we been knew#sans being protective of his room because he's a little embarrassed of the evidence of his rot time (depression) just being out in the open#also yes he did change font at papyrus
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No creo que Twenty One Pilots sea consciente de a cuantas personas han salvado con su mĂșsica.
Yo soy una de ellas.
#escritos#poemas#poesĂa#citas#notas#alexanderalay#alay#letras#mĂșsica#twenty ïżœne pilïżœts#twenty one pilots#soledad#escritos sad#depressing post#depresed#depresiĂłn
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because it's all over now // all out to sea
#bigger than the whole sky#midnights 3am version#taylor swift#tswift#ts edit#ts edits#ts creators#tswift midnights#tswifttext#tswiftlyrics#tswiftart#tayor nation#the ocean#ocean#the sea#sea#sky#clouds#sadness#depression#stars#night#night sky
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happy valentine's day phandrow nation đ
#mario rabbids#mario + rabbids#phantom of the bwahpera#tom phan#ts woodrow#phandrow#my art#i feel like woodrow would be a big fan of edgar allen poes poetry. its so depressing â€ïž
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I'm miserable and no one even knows!!! Try and come for my job. © @chloe-sam-or-sophia-or-marcus
#i can do it with a broken heart#taylor swift#ttpd#the eras tour#taylorswift#tswiftedit#eras tour#ttpd era#depression#ts lyrics#confetti#myedits
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i dream of her soft voice, "im so sorry i wasnt here, baby. let me hold you for a while"
#reposting ts bc it was a damn banger wtf#â . her#â . tv static#actually borderline#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#borderline thoughts#bpd favorite person#bpd problems#bpd feels#bpd safe#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd#bpd vent#fp bpd#borderline blog#depressing shit#sad thoughts
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failed bounties and fresh bonds (3)
G/T July Day 14: Instrument
warnings: dehumanization, mild blood, threats, captivity, child endangerment, lmk if i missed any
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Roman was in the midst of perusing the brightly-colored wares at a market stall when he overheard the quiet conversation.
He hadnât actually planned to stay in town for so long, but the innkeeper had mentioned the weekly market and heâd found himself wondering if maybe there were any toys or other entertaining items being sold there.
Heâd be a poor excuse for an uncle if he didnât even bring back any gifts for his treasured nephew, after all!
(And maybe if he picked the perfect one, heâd make some actual progress on getting in Virgilâs good graces. Or at least having the kid be even a little less terrified of him!)
It was at least worth looking, he decided, even if such a detour was a bit of a distraction from his journey. He would be in and out, easy as that.
Except one stall had pointed out another, which had led to another and so on, and before he knew it, half the morning had gone by. And he still hadnât picked out a gift!
Before he could commit one way or the other, hurried whispering from the nearby corner caught his ear. He was a knight, which meant all his senses were keenly trained to pick up trouble. And mutterings about a monster? That most certainly sounded like trouble.
âPardon me,â he started, cutting into the hushed argument with a dazzling smile. âAs a knight of the realm, Iâd be happy to help you out with your little monster problem! No bounty hunters necessary.â
âItâs not a little problem,â one of the townsfolk grumbled, while the other eyed Roman speculatively.
âYouâll get rid of it without charging us?â she asked bluntly, earning a glare from her companion.
Roman nodded, used to the question. âSuch is the responsibility of a knight of these lands.â
âItâs not something we need to get rid of!â the first stranger interrupted with a scowl. âItâs powerful, it could be devastating on a battlefield. Your king should be buying it from us.â
âOh, shut it,â the woman snapped. âYou canât get that beast to do anything but growl and hide away, and I want it out of here before the town becomes its next casualty!â
The man wheeled around to face her, his face purpling, but before they could start bickering again, Roman stepped forward.
âWhy donât you take me to where the monster is, first?â he said, patting the hilt of his sword reassuringly. âI wonât be able to decide anything without seeing it.â
The pair subsided with matching grumbles, and before long, they were walking down a small, overgrown path outside of the town, one that slowly curved into the rockier forest area that surrounded it.
It was interesting that he couldnât find a trace of fear on either of his guides, even as they grew closer to where the alleged beast was. Wariness and irritation, sure, but none of the true terror that so often came with seeing one of the monsters of this land.
Roman didnât think it was an ambush or trap, either. Perhaps theyâd simply caught a particularly large wolfdog and gotten overexcited?
âHere we are,â the man said, his vexed expression fading away in favor of excitement, like a child showing off a new toy.
Theyâd reached the wide mouth of a cave, one that was squat and shallow, but still deep enough to house something large. There was nothing in sight.
âAre we supposed to venture insideâŠ?â Roman hazarded, not too keen on the idea. His dislike of dark spaces aside, cramped quarters were the worst place for his favored style of combat.
The woman snorted. âNot unless you want to be bitten in half. Just wake it up already.â
The latter sentence was directed at the man, who scowled darkly at her before pulling an engraved bit of metal from his pocket. From a single glance at the intricate symbols and embedded stones, Roman assumed it was an enchanted magical instrument of some kind.
The woman shot him an assessing glance, as though to see if he had any negative response to the item, but he only met her gaze evenly, unperturbed.
His brother had wrangled the magic of his curse into its own kind of witchcraft at ten years old. Roman would be a hypocrite to believe that all forms of enchantment were designed to harm.
He had something of a bad feeling in his gut, though, and it only worsened as he watched the man press a thumb down against the sharp edge of the tool, pricking his finger to activate the device with his blood.
There was a pause as the man waited expectantly, and then frowned, before tightening his grip on the tool and yanking it through the air, as though pulling at an invisible cord.
With a muffled cry, something huge tumbled out of the cave into the light. Roman took a step back, feeling the color drain from his face.
That was not a wolfdog.
His attention caught on the identifying details firstâ the horns, the scales, the horizontal pupils, the wingsâ and he knew that this was a dragon, shifted into a more humanoid form (if admittedly one that was still dragon-sized).
In the next moment, Romanâs eyes settled onto the face beneath the mythical features, and his heart dropped like a stone. That was a childâs face, round-cheeked and crumpled up in distress.
Sure, it was a child big enough to grind his bones to a paste in one swat, but that didnât change the fact that he was seeing a kid in tears. A kid that happened to be awfully similar to his recently acquired nephew.
They were alike in more ways than one, he realized as his gaze dropped down to the thick metal cuffs that were wrapped around all four of the childâs limbs. They had no chains binding them togetherâ or rather, no visible chains. The engravings visible on the metal were telling enough as to just what that enchanted instrument was connected to.
âWhere did you get that tool?â he asked, dizzy with the shock of such a scene.
The man preened, mistaking Romanâs alarm for interest. âImpressive, isnât it? Some idiot sold it to me for cheap.â
The only ones skilled enough to get cuffs like these on a dragon shifter were mercenaries, who were known for being demanding barterers. More likely than not, that âidiotâ had been pawning off a stolen good, hoping to pass on the consequences of crossing a mercenary guild to an unlucky buyer.
Roman remembered the faded scars on Virgil, and felt a boiling hot fury bubbling up in him. He took a step forward, expression dark, and the kid flinched away and huddled down. The motion was enough to send a shock of horror down his spine, dousing the worst of his impulsive anger.
Right. Get the kid out safe first, deal with scumbags later.
âThis is certainly a dangerous creature,â he lied through grit teeth, and then held out a hand. âYou were right to take me up on my services. I can take it from here.â
The man recoiled, holding the tool tighter. âI know something valuable when I see it, and clearly, so do you. It would be stupid of me to part with it without getting something for my time.â
Roman turned to look at the child again, trying to repress the hot anger bubbling in his chest. The kid wasnât even watching them discuss their fate, eyes scrunched up tightly and hands twitching like they would have covered their ears, too, if their wrists werenât still locked in place.
He had left to avoid inflicting more distress on a traumatized child, and yet here he stood, doing exactly that yet again. Roman grimaced, and then asked himself a question that almost never led him anywhere good: What would Remus do?
Turning slowly, he met the manâs eyes, set a hand on the pommel of his sword, and grinned.
âIt would be stupider,â he said, slow and menacing, âto demand anything from me when Iâm the one fixing your little problem in the first place.â
The man lost some of his confidence, wavering.
âIf youâd prefer to lose a hand along with it, by all means keep hanging on,â Roman added, almost conversationally. âIâm sure even the bite of my blade would feel like tender mercy compared to the wrath that will fall upon you if the mercenaries that caught this beast find out youâre the one who stole that key.â
âGive it to him,â the woman snapped, expression hard and hunted.
Knowing what terror sheâd sat by and abided, Roman couldnât find it in himself to feel bad.
âFine!â the man spat, throwing the tool at his feet. âTake it and go!â
The woman, keener on the uptake, grabbed him by the crook of his arm the moment the key hit the dirt, and yanked him back down the path from where theyâd come.
Roman obviously wasnât actually going to use the tool to make the kid attack them, for a very large range of reasons, but he wasnât going to correct the misconception if it got them away from him and the kid quicker.
He leaned down to scoop the key up, grimacing at the glint of blood still visible on it, and then turned to look at the kid.
They quickly shuttered the eye theyâd been peeking out of back closed, immediately curling in tighter and bracing themself.
âDear child,â Roman said, sorrow heavy in his heart. âCan you look at me for a moment?â
There was a pause, the kid twitching in surprise, and then a slow reappearance of those big blue eyes.
âHello there,â he greeted, keeping his voice soft. âI donât know you, but I have a nephew that you remind me very much of. Iâm sorry for speaking so harshly before, but Iâd like to help you, if youâll let me.â
âHelp me?â the kid echoed in a large whisper, and then winced as though waiting for a strike to land.
âYes,â Roman replied, once he was confident that heâd ironed the last traces of the fury he felt out of his voice. âDo you know how I could remove these cuffs from you?â
The kidâs eyes went impossibly wider. âReally?â they whispered.
Roman nodded firmly. âReally, truly.â
Their bottom lip wobbled, and Roman felt a sense of despair at what was turning out to be a month that proved him extremely inept with children, only for them to blink back the tears and keep speaking in that hushed voice.
âI donât know how to remove âem, but Iâ I know if you get all the blood off, I can move my hands around normal again," they offered, watching him with an unsettling intensity, eyes lit with the tentative hope of a starved dog.
Roman pulled his canteen from his hip immediately, untwisting the lid with his teeth and promptly dumping the contents over the metalâs surface. The worst of the blood was washed away, and he dragged out a part of his undershirt to wipe off the remaining stain.
He couldn't deny a bit of apprehension, but rather than try and attack him or otherwise lash out, the kid only pulled their hands to their chest and curled over them protectively, the mingled stress and relief so visible on their face that Roman felt his own chest ache in sympathy.
âMay I know your name, dear child?â he asked, pushing away his automatic nervousness as they shifted to sit up to their full height.
âOh!â the child gasped, seemingly shocked that theyâd only just recalled their manners despite the situation. âMâname is Patton, nice to meet you!â
âWell, Patton Nicetomeetyou,â Roman responded in jest, relief sweeping over him when the kid smiled, âYou may call me Roman.â
He swept into a dramatic bow, adding the silliest flourishes in his repertoire, and Patton laughed, a soft, watery chuckle. The longer they spoke without being punished, the more they uncurled, slowly, like a flower blooming.
âIf I may?â Roman asked, reaching a hand out.
He thought for a moment that the child would refuseâ Virgil certainly refused any and all direct contact with himâ but Patton only hesitated for a moment before slowly reaching out, hovering their considerably larger hand in front of him.
âFor you,â he vowed, and set the instrument on Pattonâs fingertips. âUntil we find a way to get those accursed cuffs off, you should be the only one to possess that device.â
Pattonâs fingers drew back the moment they recognized the tool, inhaling sharply as they curled their fist around it. They sniffled slightly, but they were smiling again, as though they couldnât help the surprised delight, so Roman didnât feel entirely useless.
âMy brother, Remus, knows much more about magecraft than I do. I would be honored if you would accompany me to his home. He may be strange,â Roman paused, and then emphasized, âvery, very strange, but heâll do what he can to help.â
Patton was nodding almost before heâd finished speaking, eyes still red-rimmed. âI canât go home until I know nobody can make me hurt anyone,â they said firmly. âI wanna meet your weird brother, please.â
Now there was a sentence he almost never heard. With any luck, Remus would know what to do, or even Virgil, though Roman would be loath to ask anything that reminded his nephew of whatever horrors lurked in his past.
âThen meet him you shall! Iâll retrieve my horse from town, and we can be off!â Roman replied heartily, his own spirits lifted by Pattonâs determination.
He wouldnât have time to pick up a gift for Virgil, but that was alright. Roman got the feeling that his current endeavor was something his nephew would have valued more, anyhow.
#sanders sides fic#sanders sides g/t#ts roman#ts patton#writing#my writing#fbafb#failed bounties and fresh bonds#update schedule is forked sorry gang. the seasonal depression got me
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May I present the Batboys as Taylor songs in my humble opinion:
Youâre on your own kid - Dick
The lucky one - Dick
I can do it with a broken heart - Dick
Whoâs afraid of little old me - Jason
Peter - Jason
Anti-Hero - Jason
Mastermind - Tim
My Tears Ricochet - Tim
The Archer - Tim
Cardigan - Damian
Marjorie - Damian
The black dog - Damian
Bonus: Robin - for all of them
#why does Tim fit almost all the depressing ts songs lol#batman wfa#Batman#nightwing#red hood#red robin#robin#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#taylor swift#swifties
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SOFIA THE FIRST NATION, SPECIFICALLY CEDRIC FANS PLS
this is. from the OFFICIAL. Disney Junior TikTok page
I love this so much
THE SONG NAMES AND EVERYTHING
the tormented sorcerers department đ
who hurt him?
#pls i was in shock#i love u disney junior tiktok#bbg#sometimes babygirl is a middle-aged slightly depressed sorcerer#sofia the first#cedric the sorcerer#cedric the great#ts ttpd#ttpd#the tortured poets department#the tormented sorcerers department#teehee#taylor swift#disney junior
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taylor swift making the tortured poets department
#is this mean?#i really hope this isnât mean#iâm just saying bc itâs my depression album#the songs are sad#the album is sad#like have you heard loml or how did it end??#i love ben wyatt#ttpd#the tortured poets department#taylor swift#taylor swift ttpd#ts ttpd
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(much less immediately-devastating consequences, but while I'm talking about assholes and policy implementation. can I just be real goddamn cranky for a second about how for some ?? fucking?? reason?? Oregon actually rejected state-level ranked choice voting yesterday - and despite the insufferable whining around here that ~oh it's too hard it's too confusing, we have to deal with it now in pdx and we're seeing how awful it is, wah wah I have to actually engage my brain, you better bet we're going to be vetoing that for state races !!!~ --- pdx was literally one of the three and a half counties to actually break in favor of statewide rcv? when everyone else turned it down? so sure, tell me more about how people won't like it if they have to deal with it bc it's just too hard.)
(ngl this really nothing to do with anything else and relatively speaking it's small potatoes to be unhappy about right now, but. ugh.)
#.....yeah I'm not sure coherence is gonna be my strong suit for a bit >_>#good thing I Only have a couple of papers to write in the next couple days for class lmao. it's fine.#content is for other people#fr though local results thusfar are actually mostly Decent#and it's very ''2 decades of depression is great for instinctively looking for downsides of every situation to chew on'' of me to complain#but well. *gestures*#us politics for ts
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when Midnights came out 2 years ago today, it was Labyrinth that i related to the most, because of the raw and tired and soft expression of overwhelming hurt. tonight i can say i relate to the song for a different reason. âi thought the plane was going down, howâd you turn it right around?â you know who you are. thank you.
#yeah i still relate to the sad parts but now i can relate to the WHOLE SONG not just the depressing shit#ts midnights#taylor swift#labyrinth taylor swift#soft witch hours đ€
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đđ§ Balloons & Buttercream đ§đ
Happy (belated, since his birthday was May 29th, whoops-) birthday to this little guy!! Or- getting to not be so little guy, however you like to headcanon him! My favourite child of unspecified age (with a special return of the bestest monkey ever, Curious George)!
And happy Pride Month to y'all!! Unfortunately, I don't have any art for today, but the balloons are the bi flag..... so I hope that counts as something??? /hj
Also, Tumblr killed the quality, so please make sure to tap/click to view the art properly!
(Taglist, no text and close-ups under cut!)
~taglist: feel free to ask if you want to be added or removed! let me know if you had a blog change too!~
@thatsthat24 @seven-lonely-souls @xoxolosergirl @definitely-a-living-human @c-h-pictures @discordzero @eating-sunshine-blog @after-nine-at-the-oasis @whyiask
#blossom arts#sanders sides#sanders sides fanart#thomas sanders#thomas sanders fanart#bold text tw#italics tw#bright colours tw#scopohobia tw#ts jake#jake sanders#curious george#tumblr damn you for killing the quality#anyways see y'all in the next 2-3 business years#since i apparently take that long to art now#man the depression is GETTING to me
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this narrative going around that she broke up with Joe because he was "too depressed" is sooo reductive and actively gross when it's used to paint her as this person who's dismissive of a partner's mental health struggles. particularly when the entire album is dripping with the crushing reality and weight of her own mental health struggles and turmoil! and confessing to her own mental collapse as a major propeller of the breakup! i don't typically like to comment much on her personal relationships and infer what occurred in them, but to me it has been made pretty explicitly clear by Taylor herself that they were engaged in a catastrophically unhealthy cycle of depression olympics in which both partners were deeply struggling and pulling each other down further and further into that hole, basically daring the other to sink them lower. that's what she's mad about (and he'd allowed to be mad, too, btw). she completely did understand what he was going through because she was going through it too, albeit in a different shade. and i think that's part of what made it so damn hard for her to leave. but you can understand someone's depression and care about their struggles without having to dismiss when they've hurt you because of it. Their mental health issues became a method of mutual manipulation until they eventually imploded. two graves one gun. she's allowed to be upset about that.
#the commentary i am seeing surrounding this album is like. very actively upsetting me.#there are so many people who refuse to give taylor any grace and its horrifying.#ts#ttpd#anyway.#i had a best friend breakup in college because her mental health became so poor and she used it against me in very specific ways#that made my OWN mental health completely tank until we could no longer coexist in the same space healthily#it can be very very hard when you love someone who is severely depressed and we're allowed to talk about that without being attacked
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