#departure tv | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mischief-lies-and-stories · 1 year ago

Text

Riffing on one of my Mobius theories (fic)

Spoilers for Loki (both seasons) and Where Mischief Lies. I think this probably theoretically takes place after season 2, with all the major conflicts resolved, but also I'm writing this between episodes 2x02 and 2x03 so it's like if episode 2 happened, everything got resolved, and Sylvie decided to join them on some (undisclosed) mission. I don't set up a whole lot of background for why they're all suddenly together and not freaking out about major plot points, so end-ish of the season as if nothing bad happens after ep 2 (we can only hope, lol). Okay, that's enough (vague, unhelpful) context.

They've barely walked through the Time Door and into mid-1800s England before Loki loses concentration. Sylvie is with them this time, so he's actually focused on their mission when they pass through time. No, the distraction comes after they arrive.

"All right," Mobius says, glancing around. "Here's the plan. Loki--" he turns to the others, and sees only Sylvie is behind him. "Loki?"

Sylvie points down the alleyway. Loki stands at the end of the alley, just out of sight of the street, peering out.

Mobius looks questioningly back at Sylvie, who shrugs. They move down the damp concrete toward him. Mobius peeks around Loki and follows his gaze. Ah. The entire 1860s to land in, the whole of the sprawling metropolis that is Victorian London, and somehow Loki has managed to find Theo Bell already.

Mobius looks at the hand Loki has pressed absently to the grimy wall beside him; it's trembling slightly.

"Loki," Mobius says softly. Loki doesn't look away from Theo, who stands outside a doorway down the street.

"It's--"

"I know who it is." Mobius has the sudden, selfish desire for Loki to look at him, to stop staring at the man he left two hundred years ago and return to that undivided attention he's been paying Mobius lately. But Mobius knows who it is, and what Theo means to Loki. Leaving this man in an uncoupled train car is one of Loki's deepest regrets.

I don't like hurting people.

Loki looks away finally, for just a moment, to look at Mobius. But then he glances at Sylvie, too, and then returns his gaze to the man he once knew. The eye contact is long enough for Mobius to see the pained look on his face. Loki takes a shuddering breath.

"You can't let him see you." Mobius tells him, gently.

"I know." Loki's voice is steady, but the rough exhale and the way he squeezes his eyes closed tell Mobius how much Loki hates it.

"Who is it?" Sylvie asks.

"Theo." Loki gasps, eyes still on the man down the road. "Theo Bell." He swallows, then looks at her briefly. "Not a prince," he tells her, in a tone that makes Mobius suspect he's referencing a previous conversation. "But real."

Mobius looks at Sylvie as Loki turns away again and sees understanding in her eyes.

"Your postman," she says, which makes even less sense to Mobius.

"My postman," Loki confirms, and now Mobius is jealous of two people here. He's not sure which is worse, that one of them knows he's jealous of her, or that the other doesn't even know he exists.

---

The universe-- or multiverse, or whatever-- as it so often does, seems to have other ideas, in the end. They are careful, very careful, even with Loki out of commission and spying on a man he still loves, for the entirety of what little they are able to accomplish here.

And still, in the end, Theo Bell catches sight of him.

"Loki?"

Mobius and Sylvie manage to slip back, unseen, but of course, Loki is rooted to the spot at the sound of the man he's missed for centuries saying his name. Mobius watches him turn to meet Theo's gaze, and those teeth of jealousy haven't torn at Mobius's insides quite so aggressively since he rescued Loki and Sylvie from Lamentis.

But he knows Loki needs this, knows Loki knows he cannot take Theo with them, so he lets Loki further this not-exactly-protocol interaction. Loki has needed this conversation for two hundred years.

"I thought you said they couldn't interact," Sylvie murmurs.

Mobius shrugs. "They shouldn't. But the timeline's already fragmented, and he's held onto his guilt over their parting for way too long."

"When are you going to stop standing by, Mobius?"

Mobius looks at her, startled. "What do you mean?"

She frowns at him. "You know what I mean. When are you going to stop making assumptions about what's best for him and just tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

Sylvie scoffs and rolls her eyes, returning her gaze to the two before them. "Forget it."

---

Loki has been talking to Theo Bell for some time now. Sylvie squints at the man in front of Loki, who's speaking to him in a low voice and gently holding his hands. There's something about his expression that gives her pause. He shifts his weight at the same time the man beside her does the same thing, and out of the corner of her eye, the gesture looks nearly identical.

She glances back at Mobius, takes in the way he's also staring at Loki like his entire world revolves around the god, and wonders why she's only just noticing the similarities. They're vague: Theo's nose only slightly crooked, the way they hold themselves even though Mobius doesn't walk with a limp, that look in their eyes when they gaze at Loki. A thought is starting to take root in Sylvie's mind.

"He told you you're a variant, right?" She asks Mobius. Mobius breaks his gaze from the two in front of them to glance at Sylvie.

"Yeah," he says, "I know. He told us awhile ago."

"Did you get your memories back?"

"No, no," Mobius chuckles in a way that tells Sylvie he's trying for nonchalance but failing.

"Why not?"

Mobius glances back at Loki before returning his gaze to her. "I'm content with my life."

Yeah, I'd believe that if you weren't staring at him like a puppy, she thinks. She glances at Theo Bell and back at Mobius one more time before making her decision.

"Sorry, but I think it'll be worth it," she says, and presses her hand to his upper arm.

The dingy, rain-soaked Victorian street fades away to reveal, in Mobius's long-locked-away, distant memories-- a dingy, rain-soaked Victorian street. Which would be rather anti-climactic if the implications weren't so earth-shattering.

He walks with a limp, a cane in his hand, beside a tall man and an older woman. They enter the front doors of a museum, and confidently make their way into the storeroom. The tall man opens a wooden coffin and tips it open, and Loki falls out, looking much younger than he is now. The image changes...

The memories flow through him, from his first meeting with Loki to the morning he watched Loki hurtling away from him on the Bifrost, flanked by train cars filled with the living dead. And his life after, until he was picked up by the TVA.

Mobius is overwhelmed by a strange cocktail of joy and pain and hope. Loki loves him, or at least who he was. Loki saw some version of him, past or future or variant, barely ten seconds out of the Time Door, and lost all focus on the mission. Even knowing he couldn't make contact with Theo (before circumstances out of their control changed that), he could think of nothing else, couldn't stop watching Mobius's past unfold before them, rather than move on.

But even knowing his past at last, Mobius is the same person he's always been. Loki is in love with a man who hasn't existed in Time knows how long. Will he be disappointed if Mobius is nothing like Theo?

Mobius slowly becomes aware that he is no longer inside his own head, inside the memories. (The setting being nearly identical makes it difficult to tell.) He's crouched down against the pavement, tears streaming down his face.

From what seems like far away, he hears Loki's voice. "Mobius? What's happened?"

"I gave him his memories," Sylvie replies.

Mobius feels hands on his arms and looks up into Loki's wide, green eyes. His cheeks are still stained with tears, and it makes Mobius's heart ache. He loves Mobius's past self this deeply; how could he ever feel anything but disappointment about Mobius as he is?

"Are you all right?" he whispers, though, and the concern in his voice is still for Mobius alone. It warms Mobius a little. Mobius gestures in a strange, noncommittal mix between a nod, head shake, and shrug.

Loki frowns. "Was it good?" He asks, an echo of their conversation in the automat.

Mobius does shrug this time, tears still streaming down his face. "A little bit, I think."

Loki's frown deepens. "Was it bad?"

Mobius's voice shakes when he replies, thinking of how different he is than Loki remembers, how breaking the memories free hasn't changed him back into the man he was when the TVA picked him up. "I don't know."

Loki searches his face, then opens his mouth to respond. Mobius can't take it anymore, this not knowing. "Just look, Loki."

"Yeah, that's gonna have to wait till we get back, boys. We have to go." Sylvie says.

Loki helps Mobius to his feet as Sylvie enters the TVA into the TemPad. Loki keeps glancing at Mobius, brow furrowed with worry, his centuries-overdue closure with Theo forgotten for the moment. Mobius has an odd feeling, like he's smug for beating his past self at something, as if earning Loki's attention is something he's still competing for when Theo Bell is also him.

When they return to the TVA, Sylvie volunteers to update B-15 for them.

"Gently," she tells Loki. "I already unlocked the memories, and you're only reading them. If you go in with the same force we used on Alioth, you'll hurt him."

Loki nods, and when Sylvie heads off toward Analysis, he takes Mobius's hand. Mobius turns to look at him, startled, but Loki just nods in the other direction, still looking worried. He seems too distracted about making sure Mobius is okay to realize what he's doing. Mobius allows him to lead him through the halls, until they emerge into the automat, and Mobius finds he can finally breathe again. And isn't that interesting.

Loki leads him to a chair. "Are you sure you want me to see?" he asks. "A little while ago you didn't even want to know."

Mobius nods. "I want you to know. I think you should know." Loki frowns again, but Mobius rushes on. "And I don't think I would know how to explain."

Loki watches him for a moment, then reaches out with both hands to wipe away the tears with his thumbs. He still hesitates. He seems to be distracted by Mobius's tears.

"Mobius--" he murmurs.

"Honestly, Loki, this is mostly from relief," Mobius says, gesturing at the tears, taking a risk and hoping Loki's distracted enough that he can lie to him again.

"Mobius, you're shaking." Loki says, tone skeptical and telling Mobius he's not entirely successful this time.

Mobius huffs a mirthless laugh. "Well, I did say mostly." he says, then sighs. "Just look, Loki. Please."

Loki nods, and then surprises Mobius when he doesn't just touch his hand to Mobius's shoulder or his fingertips to Mobius's temple, but keeps his hands cupped against Mobius's cheeks and brings their foreheads together. Loki closes his eyes and Mobius follows suit.

Mobius lets him see, shows him his childhood and arrest, his imprisonment and meeting Mrs. S. He replays their history from his perspective: a young, beautiful, short-tempered god tumbling from a casket and turning Mobius-as-Theo's life upside-down; the mission; watching Loki sleep on that dirty mattress, his heart swelling in a wonderfully painful way in his chest as Loki breathed slowly and his pale eyelids fluttered; Loki's slow, surprised smile when he realized he was being teased, realized he enjoyed it; kissing him for the first time on that speeding train full of the dead and the living and the living dead, Loki's promise echoing in his head, yet knowing already they were empty words; watching Loki's retreating form as it rode the Bifrost home, as Loki turned his head for one final glance back at the man he was abandoning; and all that came after.

Loki pulls back, inhaling sharply as if emerging from a pool of water, and Mobius opens his eyes to a sheen of fresh tears.

"How can this be?" Loki asks shakily.

"I don't know."

"No, I mean..." Loki moves back into his space, taking his face in his hands again, and it's too much. It's too much. "We just saw you. How could we have been where you still were without causing a, a paradox, or something? Isn't that what happens?"

He's stuck on the wrong part, but Mobius supposes there's a lot to unpack. "Well, we weren't there long. And I did not see or speak to myself. I don't think my past self would have recognized me as me, anyway."

Loki stares at him for a long moment, and then lets out a sob, and it breaks Mobius into pieces.

"I...I..." Loki starts. Mobius takes pity on him; it's been a very long day for the god's heart.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything." He says, mostly trying to reassure Loki. Only partly to save his own heart the inevitable pain.

"Yes, I do." He says. "I should have already. I should have before I... before you..." he sniffs and swipes at his eyes before continuing. "I've loved you for a long, long time. And I didn't think I'd ever love anyone again, not after Theo Bell."

There it is. The words that make Mobius's heart soar at the same time it shatters into a million, tiny pieces. Because he will never be Theo Bell again. He's been Mobius M. Mobius for far too long. And Theo and Mobius both love Loki, but Loki has only ever loved Theo.

"I'm not as I was," Mobius whispers, looking away. "I'm different." It's an apology, a wish in the pit of his chest that he could return to that man that he was, but a truth that must be stated. He'd never be able to pretend he was still that boy, and it would not be fair to Loki to make him believe Mobius could be.

"I know." Loki says. Mobius listens for regret, for disappointment, but cannot hear it. He meets Loki's eyes again; Loki is already watching him intently. "I said I didn't think I could ever love anyone again, but then I was taken as a prisoner of time and dragged here and coerced into working as a consultant, with another man who's too smart for his own good, another man who can see through my lies, another man who knows my story before I know he even exists." Loki's eyes soften. "Another man who sees the good in me, even when I can't. Who trusts me, and believes in me, and lets me use my talents to help him, instead of condemning them as tools for evil."

Leaving one hand to still cup his face, Loki brings his other hand down to clasp Mobius's. He brings it to his lips and tenderly kisses each knuckle, gazing at Mobius the entire time. Mobius can't breathe, can't move, can't look anywhere but into those emerald irises he's loved since well before he was an agent.

"Another man I fell deeply in love with far too quickly."

Mobius stares, trying to wrap his head around what Loki is saying. Loki loves him? Him? Mobius? Before he learned he was Theo, too; separate from how he still loves Theo?

Mobius swallows once, twice. Realizes Loki deserves a response to that admission. "We have that in common," he murmurs. "Falling in love too quickly."

Loki smiles, and it's like the sun emerging from the heavy, London clouds. Mobius has a sneaking suspicion he's compared Loki's smile to the sun before, as a different man. It really is accurate, though: bright and incandescent and practically warms Mobius's skin, nearly turning the tears still resting on his face to water vapor in its intensity.

"Kiss me." Mobius says, before he can think better of it.

And Loki doesn't hesitate, merely acts. He kisses him, and it's like that kiss all those years ago in the steam engine, yet also so different. The press of Loki's lips against his own are nearly as desperate and insistent, the result of centuries of waiting for Theo's lips and who knows how long of staring at Mobius's. But the movement that follows is slower, unhurried, without the treat of Amora and the hordes of the undead bearing down on them.

It occurs to Mobius that Loki is a different person, too, that perhaps that was what he'd discussed with Mobius's other in the rain, or at least the realization he'd come away from the conversation with. After all, there'd been tears drying on his cheeks, but none in his eyes, and his full attention had been on Mobius the moment he returned to his side. He may remember the god he was then more clearly than Mobius remembers being Theo, but he had still changed in the intervening years. Mobius can account for it; he's watched Loki's tapes over and over, he's seen the changes in the god just in the time he's known Loki.

The boy Theo Bell who loved the young God of Mischief may be mostly gone, but as Mobius weaves his fingers into raven hair and pulls away long enough to inhale and whisper his beloved's name, he aches with a love Theo did not know. Because Mobius M. Mobius gets to love the Loki Who Remains.

#loki #loki tv show #loki season 2 #mobius m mobius #loki season 1 spoilers #loki season 2 spoilers #lokius #loki fanfic #lokius fanfic #loki/theo bell #theoki #loki: where mischief lies #spoilers for loki: where mischief lies #my fanfiction #my writing #a bit of a departure from Choose Me

35 notes · View notes