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darth-kote · 2 months ago

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Obi-Wan Headcanons Pt. 1

Feels a surge of pride when he says something he privately thinks is clever that earns a cacophony of laughter from his men. He has to remind himself not to let that pride go too far to his head, but he can't help the slight broadening of his shoulders at the rare sound. He thinks the clones deserve to laugh more often, and he's more than delighted to be the cause of it, especially during such bleak times. When he hears one of the men repeat a line he'd once said or speak with a slight lilt that reminds him of his own, he wonders if fatherhood has similar moments of overwhelming pride.

Mentioned slightly in a prev post: His Padawan braid is something he keeps in his chambers on Coruscant. It's stowed away in a lockbox in his wardrobe, underneath many robes and tunics. He doesn't know why he keeps it - is aware it resembles some form of attachment. He doesn't do much with it except glance at the box it's in when his thoughts are especially unsettled. It reminds him of his master and the past... It reminds him he was chosen – trusted. As he watches Anakin's grow with time, he's caught off guard by the envy threatening to leak into his heart each time it whips over his Padawan's shoulder. When this feeling does arise, he meditates for a lengthy time, releasing anger and want for the past and replacing it with patience. Just because his master had been stolen from him does not mean Anakin is any less worthy of one. Anakin is not at fault for what happened, and resentment only leads to the dark side.

He indeed thinks about taking on another Padawan after Anakin has flown the nest, and he wonders what it would be like. Traditionally, the master chooses their apprentice, but this hadn't been the case for Anakin and himself, and it makes him wonder how he should know who to take under his wing. Qui-Gon hadn't quite gotten to that bit.. He feels unsure about his teachings at times, but watching Anakin with Ahsoka reassures him that he did well, which he hopes has made his master proud from whichever plane he resides on. He does know he feels Cody's presence strongly in the Force, and the signature he produces has become like a safety blanket for the Jedi; he likes to daydream about passing his knowledge down to the Clone, even if he wouldn't be able to utilize the teachings in the same way those with naturally high levels of midi-chlorians might... It's certainly a very non-traditional Padawan, though that's nothing new to him. He wonders - secretly, guiltily - if Qui-Gon could lend him some eloquence in persuading the Council to let him take on another unorthodox student. He's aware it will never happen. The attachment is unhealthy to say the least, which is the first of many problems the Council would list off for him if he were to ever bring it up.

After Satine's death, Obi-Wan is noticeably shaken. He does well at masking how he's truly feeling until he has a quiet moment alone in the fresher or his bed chamber, but Cody has become quite the expert at reading between the lines on the Jedi's face - which has hollowed considerably since he'd first met the general. Cody barks - yes. - at his men to stay alert and to comm him only if there is a Grievous-level emergency. As he walks through the echoey hallways of The Negotiator towards the general's quarters, his bootsteps and his heart clang loud in his ears. Once there, the doors do not swoosh open like they usually would upon his approach; he's no Jedi, but he's sure he can sense a heavy cloud of energy emanating from the room before him. A brother or two pass by in absolute silence, afraid of catching a stray from their commander, whose stress seems inextricably linked to their jetti's. Once they round the corner, Cody enters the code that ultimately leads him to quite possibly his worst fear come to life: Obi-Wan that isn't Obi-Wan. Except it undeniably is him. The typical rosiness in his cheeks has crept up to his lower lashes, and his breathing is rough and heavy. Cody's bucket is off in an instant, and he's crossing the span of the room to kneel before Obi-Wan's supine body. Cody doesn't know what happened exactly, but he can see that something is upsetting the general, and he loyally stays at his side the entire night. Eventually, once he's convinced himself he isn't a piece of human waste (and Obi-Wan asks him too), he climbs up next to the other man in the small bed and wraps both arms around him. Obi-Wan asks him repeatedly to hold him tighter, and Cody does his worst. (+ He wakes up in the middle of the night and Obi-Wan has maneuvered himself nearly completely underneath the commander. It's grounding to have Cody's weight surround him after yet another piece of his heart has been plucked out. He needs to be reassured he's not alone, despite knowing the Council would look down on him for the entire predicament.)

is 100% aware of Cody's feelings before Cody even figures out what the names of These Feelings are. And he adores, adores when the rest of the Clones hint at the fact they also see it, and Cody- Obi-Wan loves watching the copper tone of his skin stain slightly red when he realizes what his brothers are insinuating, and so openly! (The color is like the Jedi's favorite Nubian wine, which is an entirely different beast to tackle; he thinks sharing a bottle with Cody would only be right, especially considering he associates them so closely with one another now.) The point is, he thinks it's very sweet the way Cody works extra hard not to let his personal feelings sabotage the greater mission; it certainly helps Obi-Wan not feel guilty when he does the same. The Force communicates the unrest Cody's mind goes through at night, gives Obi a sense of where the commander's mind and heart are. He's flattered - hasn't thought of himself as physically appealing since that first year of the War, or maybe since that damned braid was shorn from his scalp - and smitten. He gets a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach when the Force bombards him with compliments and praise that go unspoken but not unfelt by Cody.

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our-heartless-angels · 27 days ago

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I got impatient, so I'm gonna info dump my AU onto this blog and none of you can stop me. (It begins below the cut)

Content warnings: Talks of abuse, torture, death, manipulation, miscarriages, and (possible) mentions of self harm (if i get there ofc)

I was really inspired by Crisis Core when creating this au, and at the time I was looking at those "Hero swap" aus where Sephiroth and Cloud swap places. When making my au (with CC in mind), I decided to take that premise and completely flip it on it's head.

Thus, The Seraphim Verdict: An au where everything is the same except for Sephiroth and Cloud. Because of these two being the sole changes, certain events play out very differently. How differently, you may ask? That's what you're about to find out.

In this au, Sephiroth wasn't born from the Jenova Projects. I was inspired by all the angel motifs attached to the canon Sephiroth, so I thought that I would make him into a real angel. A seraph, to be exact. He's the main character of the story. Cloud, however, is a human-turned soulless demon who loves nothing more than to make Sephiroth suffer. He's the main antagonist, and instead of vowing to destroy the planet, vows to become its supreme ruler.

Side note: The remnants we're created when Sephiroth was four, as a result of physically splitting into three people, meaning they cannot exist outside of him, nor can he exist outside of them. He can separate into the three whenever he's put under stress that he can no longer handle, and this happens at random, so yes they used to be in SOLDIER, too. Hojo forced it upon them just as much as he did with Sephiroth, and as a result while Kadaj is mostly the same in behavior as he is canonically, Loz and Yazoo are fundamentally changed due to mistreatment by their peers. Loz is a lot less of a "no brains, only brawns" character, having wizened himself up and sealed away all emotions that weren't his rage, and has sent several SOLDIERS into the infirmary after getting fed up with being beaten by them. (Many SOLDIERs were paid to harrass the trio by Hojo "for their own betterment." He was also forcefully tranquilized out of fear that he'd kill everyone in the building if they did not stop him.) Yazoo regressed into an anxiety filled mess, refusing to stand up for himself, as he fears punishment. People deemed him the weakest link, and he's been a target his whole life, leaving him completely afraid of the world.

Sephiroth was created by many gods all at once, using the soul of what would have ended up being Sephiroth, as Lucrecia in this universe ended up having a miscarriage, meaning that Project S was a failure. Though because they used the soul of what was to be the Sephiroth we would all know and love (or hate), this seraph would have been made flawed in their eyes. He, as a newly created (baby) seraph, would have earned an extra wing. An extra wing that was a part of his more human-like appearance. They only saw him as a mistake that shouldn't have been made, and they dumped him onto Gaia, his Grace intact and everything. The gods thought their creation would have not been capable of survival in this fragile form of a child, and thus pretended he never existed, abd because of this, never made another angel ever again.

From the start, the seraph has known abandonment. From the start, he was fated to be alone. From the start, he lacked the love he deserved to have. That was, until a distraught Lucrecia stumbled upon the abandoned baby one night outside of Shinra HQ. Being worried for the child's safety, and holding that longing of wishing to be a mother, decided to take him as her own in secret, once determining that he was abandoned there.

In secret, she cared for him. She loved him dearly, and was completely enamored by his tiny, white feathered wing. Unfortunately, this didn't last very long, as one day Professor Hojo discovered him and decided to take him away without her knowledge. As she was returning to the child, she was distraught by his disappearance, and through grief she left, never to be seen again. Hojo, now in possession of Sephiroth, decided to write off Project S as a sucess, in an attempt to hide his true research.

Sephiroth has the same kind of childhood he would have in canon, though he was never really addressed as a person until he was around ten years old (in human years), and instead he was treated like a beast. Even when he started calling him a "he" instead of an "it", he never really treated him well whatsoever. Even if he was supposed to be his father, he never acted like one. Not once. Those abandonment issues and that separation anxiety he harbored ever since he was an infant only got worse the older he got, as Hojo often took advantage of this, and he purposefully had him isolated. Sephiroth rarely interacted with others in his childhood years.

Sephiroth would also experience everything he would come to experience in his life pre Crisis Core, and all the way up until he was an adult. Crisis Core does play out relatively the same, save for a few key differences.

Those differences were: He was lied to twice about what he truly was, Cloud's jealousy towards Sephiroth's position and perceived power, and the subsequent attempts to squander his good name which lead to him seeking out a power beyond himself to get his wish of power granted (by a demon who was thought to be a god), though at the cost of his humanity, and thus his slowly degrading sanity, the Nibelheim Incident was all staged (Sephiroth pretend to go insane) in an attempt to draw Cloud out, and have him show everyone what he really was, Zack doesn't get killed, and Genesis doesn't end up with Deepground

The events post Crisis Core are both very much the same and also very different. While Cloud was going around, and continuing to try and paint Sephiroth in a bad light through lies and deceptions, Sephiroth, who had newly acquired an ally in Vincent Valentine, are going after Cloud, as Sephiroth knew the truth behind Cloud's false acts of heroism. The two go out to Shinra HQ, where they discover the existence of the Black Materia, to which after promptly putting an end to Professor Hojo, set out to retrieve it before Cloud does. When they suceed, it would be moments before they come across Cloud (and his freshly manipulated group of friends). Sephiroth, who has been anticipating their arrivals, decided to hand the black materia to Vincent, telling him to leave and not return until he deemed it was safe. By the time they arrived, Vincent was long gone, and Sephiroth remained.

Cloud made an attempt to pry out the location of the black materia on his person? and Sephiroth, who wasn't exactly lying to him, tells him he never had such a thing in his possession. Cloud wouldn't believe him though, and after countless attempts at making him hand over something he never once had in this moment, beat up the seraph in a fit of anger before leaving him there once determining that he wasn't lying. Sephiroth not once fought back against Cloud, as it felt completely unnecessary. Vincent does eventually return, taking Sephiroth with him to where they were currently camping out, so he could tend to his wounds in a safer location.

That night, however, they would receive a nighttime visit from a very distressed Aerith, who sought out Sephiroth personally. She was quick to beg and plead with the angel, knowing that he was the key to her salvation. She asked him to send her back to the lifestream. To his shock at such a request, he vehemently refused her no matter how much she pleaded with him to. Aerith then told him everything about the mistreatment she suffered behind everyone's back through the hands of Cloud Strife. All the gritty details of his physical and mental abuse upon her were laid bare for him to see, and that was enough for him to (reluctantly) aid in her suicidal desires under confirmation that this was something she actively wanted.

Pretty soon, he was to take Vincent to meet with her at a place long forgotten to time. While Vincent remained stoic about this predicament for the sake of not worrying the seraph, Sephiroth's thoughts were all over the place despite his blank expression. He tells Vincent to hide himself in case Cloud's group decided to go and find her, while he went to prepare himself for this moment. He complies, and once he left, Sephiroth took up residence in a high spot and waited. Unfortunately, he still had his gripes about doing such a thing. He didn't have much time to dwell, as Cloud came over towards a praying Aerith, who looked furious that she left him and the others behind. Before Cloud could do anything against her, Sephiroth made his move. As he was inches away from taking her life, he sensed her feelings about this shifting away, and coming to the conclusion that she didn't actually want to die anymore. It was too late, however, as by the time she had second thoughts about it, his blade would pierce through her, and she would ultimately die by Sephiroth's hands.

He was absolutely horrified by what he had done. The trauma of knowing her final feelings were that of wanting ro live hit him like a bag of bricks, as he quickly withdrew his blade. He looked at her in complete horror and silence, as Cloud's anger rose. From that moment on, Cloud declared to Sephiroth that he will make him suffer tenfold for what he did to the cetra girl, and he immediately left to quell his rage before it got worse, leaving Sephiroth to be responsible for putting her body into the waters that surrounded him, a sombre tone suffocating him all the wile.

Zack Joins the duo a few days later, after he was satisfied with his visit to his family. While the death of Aerith remained fresh on Sephiroth and Vincent's minds, they refused to tell Zack about it. It was during the addition of Zack, that they came across one of the gods. A god of time by the name Chronos had come in search for the seraph they got rid of, a feeling that he was still alive having brought him there. He was the sole god who wanted him dead, and thus he finally came to fulfill such a wish. When the trio arrived, Sephiroth immediately told his allies to leave. While Vincent understood why, Zack however, had a much harder time understanding why he didn't just let him fight with him. Sephiroth told Zack that this was his payment for forcing all those assignments onto him in the past, and that he's doing this to keep him alive, to which got Zack to reluctantly comply, and they two went somewhere more safe.

The subsequent battle was brutal and completely unfair. A mere seraph going against a whole god was simply unheard of, and the seraph was very close to losing his life, though by a stroke of luck, he managed to pick up on the secrets to Chronos' underhanded tatics, and decided to use them against him, which lead to him out right managing to kill the god for the sake of his survival. Beatened and bloodied, Sephiroth then collapsed. Vincent and Zack return, only to see a dead god, and their barely allive leader. They were quick to grab him and retreat, where Sephiroth would spend a few days recovering (much to his disapproval).

Sephiroth, after fully recovering, decided the next thing they would do is to break out those who were pulled under Cloud's influence. It was time they knew the real truth. They then silently trailed after Cloud and co, one by one convincing Yuffie, Red XIII, Cait Sith (and by extension Reeve), Cid, Barret, and finally Tifa into joining them on their quest to stop the demon. Each person had varying levels of difficulty when it came to breaking them free, with Tifa being the most stubborn. Once Cloud was alone, he scoffed at the betrayals, deeming that this endeavor was better done solo, and headed to the northern crater on his own.

Once the team was finally assembled proper, they decided to take a break for the next few hours one day to get a clearer head, so they could decide together when it would be the right time to strike, leaving Sephiroth all alone with his own thoughts. He then spent the night alone with the highwind, thinking over all that happened in the past, and hoping that the future he sees in his visions wasn't too out of reach. Eventually, everyone came back together, fully refreshed and ready to take on their foe. The group soon sets out, and what happens is deemed a final battle they would never forget.

Soon after the events, and within the time span of two years, it would be proven that Cloud refused his own demise, and forced himself back into the world of the living. All he felt was hatred towards Sephiroth. This was when he decided to make him pay, setting out to find him. This then began a painful cycle of Cloud finding him, and taking him away somewhere. Sephiroth would then undergo bouts of physical and mental torture that no living human would be able to survive, let alone be left mentally sound if they happened to live from it all. It was a constant loop that eventually was broken up with Zack coming to his rescue (despite it being mostly too late, and the damage having already been done.)

This constant cycle would break down the once untouchable seeming man, leaving him as a broken, and pathetic version of what he once was. Gone were the days where he remained strong in the face of torment, for now he ultimately became soft and meek through his suffering. He became a shell of his former self from then on....

Oh yeah btw Sephiroth stopped physically aging around his twenties, so he permanently looks like how he does in Crisis Core, fun fact.

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