#demon guy is an npc

[ambrosiafaery]

"everyone in the dnd party is shipping them except the player of the character themself" the saga so far

[radarchives]

[newtafterdark]

What if there was a certain café where all the employees are the place's signature treats? 🍰💕✨

[More info about these two under the cut!

First there's Angel Food Cake - the cashier, server & the person who runs the café's very ✨aesthetic✨ Instagram account. They are very mean, quick to drop their overly cutesy & sweet customer act if you piss him off & is so here for the gossip (especially when its about establishments in the neighbourhood). In general, think classic Sailor Moon villain, including Oohohohoho laugh. She will strangle you if telling him your order takes longer than a minute.

And just like any of their cake-based co-workers they can spawn little cakepop helpers from their own body. In his case they are cherubs. And then there's Devil's Food Cake: baker, bouncer & the guy who does the heavy lifting around the place. Very much immovable-object kind of guy. Gets genuinely exited when he has to act out his bouncer duties and will brawl a guy - knowing full well that he'll get paid extra by his boss bc this counts as customer entertainment. Will experiment with savoury/spicy ingredients in sweet dishes, like making cherry-chili-chocolate. It... doesn't always taste good but it won't stop him from trying!

His cakepops are imps. Which will swarm unwelcome customers & occasionally also go for the ankle.

[cyborrrg]

a demon who created the first roses + a reincarnation of the angel of death = their son who only looks intimidating but is in fact secretly having a anxiety meltdown 24/7

.

(commissions open)

[welcometoteyvat]

AU where xiao has no karmic bonds anymore and works in liyue’s food delivery services

idk wanmin restaurant is expanding its service and xiangling heard zhongli telling guoba (when zhongli visits the ex-stove god the conversation is really one-sided but zhongli doesn’t mind, he can ramble enough for the both of them) that xiao is looking for work, and yknow, xiangling’s seen the young adeptus here and there and he’s praised her cooking before, both she and her dad don’t expect running deliveries to be that much work (plus he can teleport, it won’t be that hard) and he’ll get paid decently, why not offer him a job? he can pilot the program for a bit and then they’ll see whether it turns out ok, the worst thing that could happen is getting 1 star reviews on sevenstars.tyv for “unapproachable and frightening demeanor of delivery guy” (sumeru scholars invented the internet a couple years back or something). 

obviously zhongli says yes for xiao, because he thinks xiangling’s suggestion can do the young adeptus good—trusty old common wisdom states that food warms the heart and brings people together, and xiao (or any liyuen) is not an exception. and of course xiao agrees to zhongli’s proposal because when has he ever refused a request from his god and savior. never! zhongli and xiangling both assure him that he can refuse or resign at any point and neither will hold it against him, but of course xiao takes his job extremely seriously, and if yanwang di- no, if zhongli daren wants him to do it, of course he will.

xiao doesn’t have any feelings on the arrangements because it’s just another thing to keep him busy lol but he appreciates complimentary almond tofu, especially since he manages to persuade xiangling to make it the traditional way he likes it and save her new and improved tofu recipes for Other customers to try

xiangling sends xiao to more remote places at first to avoid crowds, which he appreciates, one time he goes to qingce village and ends up meeting little luo again, he doesn’t even remember her until she exclaims “you’re the adeptus who rescued my doll!!” with a giant smile on her face... were humans always so blindingly bright? he stiffly gives the family his greetings, and tries to smile a little bit at the girl (she’s extra pleased by this, maybe he’ll ask zhongli whether he has good smiles or whether they look like grimaces). little luo... was it? he should get xiangling to send her some candy next time.

he gets sent to the chasm one time bc the miners ordered hotpot as an end of season celebration, and he finds a small little memorial to the millelith who died in the chasm 500 years ago. after delivering the hotpot ingredients, xiao climbs to the top of the cliff to pick a qingxin and offer it to the memorial. the other yakshas were always pretty fond of humans, so it’s only natural. 

when he gets a little more used to the city xiangling sends him to deliver stuff around liyue harbor itself—one time the delivery was for hu tao, xingqiu, and chongyun, hanging around wangsheng parlor. usually xiangling would join them herself, and the young opera director yun jin and their rockstar friend xinyan visit too, but the three were busy with their own plans that time and it fell to xiao to deliver their dinner: light translucent shrimp dumplings without carrots, a bowl of cooling soup, and filleted fish. he hears them playing a rowdy game of something (mahjong... with only three players? or maybe tcg.... but as a 2 v 1 game? he’s getting more and more confused by the second) before the door’s opened by hu tao; she seems really ecstatic to see him, except her smirk sobers up quickly once they hear chongyun shouting “hey! you stole my cards!!” regardless she thanks him for the food, and then tells him a joke that really shouldn’t be funny at all except the corners of his mouth quirk up against his will. of course hu tao notices this, she’s always been a mischievous child too clever for her own good, and she smiles even wider in return and tells him that he’s welcome any time in her house. if he brings a couple hilichurls along he’s even more welcome

and of course, a lighthearted scene where, surprisingly, zhongli also places an order, but it isn’t sent to wangsheng funeral parlor, xiao goes all the way to jueyun karst and delivers the order to cloud retainer, mountain shaper, and moon carver. they’re just chilling and zhongli is introducing them to take out. “so, what do you all think of wanmin’s handiwork?” xiao tries to leave before any of them can start droning on and on, but obviously he ends up spending the whole meal with them because nobody can escape the sheer force of zhongli and cloud retainer infodumps. the other adeptus ask after him and the meal is generally silly banter: there’s a digression on triangular cups,,,, some nagging for xiao to eat more, “look at my newest invention isn’t it wonderful”,,,,,, and other small and incredibly mundane nothings that keep the conversation flowing like the tea from their triangular cups. insignificant occurrences in more peaceful lives, and maybe xiao is learning how to fall into this new rhythm of things... maybe he even likes it, maybe it will bring him more smiles in the days to come

yknow yknow do you feel me

very aware that some of this might be super ooc especially the adepti thing at the end but hey they can be silly as a treat, cloud retainer and co deserve a bit of adeptal entertainment time

[dnangelic]

dark's appearance being older than dai's can be functionally like. the equivalent of checking off the 'are u older than 18 yrs of age' checkboxes when ur still 14

[tee-wells]

Prince Amos, The Wrathful One

[ragsy]

Hardest tabletop GM decision I've had to make in a long time: what costumes do my NPCs wear for the Halloween themed session we're doing next

[belovedblabber]

Mental health is in shambles but I DO have dnd tomorrow so

[pr0cyon-lotor]

AU where instead of Shen Yuan being obsessed with Luo Binghe, he's instead obsessed with the scum villain himself. I mean we all know Bingge is Very Not Good Person™ but you know who else a Very Not Good Person™? Say it with me: Shen Jiu

Like just imagine a timeline where Shen Yuan is writing paragraph after paragraph about how Shen Qingqiu might actually be a good person but Airplane is wasting his potential. The other commenters are saying he's delusional because he abused the protagonist and as all these TERRIBLE allegations towards him. So he's a clear cut villain.

But Shen Yuan is defending his fav with the vigor of a devout worshipper. He's constantly siting parts that are obvious plot holes and how they could give much needed context to Shen Qingqiu's character.

Other people are demanding for worst things to happen to Shen Qingqiu to spite him. Airplane caves. Shen Yuan actively commissions art and fics where Shen Qingqiu is happy. People tell him "Shen Qingqiu won't fuck you bro"

Shen Yuan isn't interested in that. He's a freaky little man with freaky little likes. He'd gladly take Shen Qingqiu's cold glares and even volunteer to have tea poured on him.

When he finishes PIDW, he's been outraged that Shen Qingqiu was killed off a while back. He's even more outraged that Shen Qingqiu wasn't given any mention at the end.

Now, imagine with me that he gets transmigrated into some NPC, literally Unimportant Character No°5. Probably as the head disciple for drama reasons. And as soon as Shen Jiu is brought in, scruffy and hissing as he is. He immediately hugging his thighs and saying he'll be peak lord for sure.

Please follow me into this suspicious alleyway as I continue to explain my vision fueled by sleep deprivation.

So now imagine your Shen Jiu. You're a former street rat and demonic cultivator, you aren't expecting to be liked or respected. You're expecting it, you've come to terms with it a long time ago. What you weren't expecting was for this random ass guy you have to call da-shixiong is immediately insane about you.

He met you first day, literally saw you bite a guy, and immediately started spouting out how you'll be the next peak lord and the absolute envy of Cang Qiong Mountain. You conclude he's missing a few screws because he said it in the most disgustingly sincere way.

You try to continue on with your life, trying to beat him and he looks almost... Excited about you beating him. So he's an M, you think to yourself. But then you see someone trying to beat him or you on something, and this guy immediately gets aggressive. Okay so he's just weird with you.

You continue to deal with him. He's weird but also weirdly respectful. He leaves if you tell him to leave. He defends you like it's his very birth right. He's always there to tend to you as if you were a god. He doesn't touch you and only sits around like a dog waiting for a command.

You eventually get strong enough to beat him, and this absolute buffoon is over the moon about it, already spouting about your supposed success again.

When you actually become peak lord, it isn't surprising. Your hype man has been saying it since day one, he was expecting it for some reason. He continues to spout out nonsense about how he just knew you were going to do it.

So what now? You obviously desire him carnally. What is the next step?

Okay so I know this wouldn't fix them. Almost without question this would make they both worse. But, hear me out, it would be funny. (Especially since just know Shen Yuan's entire inner monologue would be him saying he's just being a good friend as if he isn't being the gayest man in the sect and Shang Qinghua is there. That's an accomplishment to outgay the author)

[xaverie]

For all of the superficial "care" Dragon Age has taken toward representation and against bigotry, I still maintain that the cruelest thing the writers did was the complete obliteration of elven/Dalish culture.

To have the marginalized, enslaved, diaspora race trying to hold on and reconnect with their heritage for 2.5 games, only for you to turn around and say "Actually their gods and people were the evil slavers all along and they've been giving themselves slave markings because they're so ignorant and don't know any better" is... nauseating to me.

Maybe I'm taking it too personally. But it's giving "you people sold yourselves into slavery." "Their barbaric religion is actually full of monsters and demon worship."

I was holding out hope this would turn out not to be true, or at least their would be some pushback or alternative perspective from other elven NPCs. It looks like that is not the case. And for that reason - I'm out.

(But if I say Solas espouses textbook fascist ideology couched in the rhetoric of liberation because the writers don't understand what liberation is, I'm the bad guy lol.)

[communistkenobi]

but seriously though you people are fucking demons harassing Palestinians and other SWANA bloggers on here for just stating that they hate the US and have directly experienced how utterly identical both parties are when it comes to terrorising and destroying non-white non-western countries, you come in condescending to them about how uniquely special and complex the US election system is, how uniquely deprived and helpless you are. “but still the other guy is still worse” “what are we supposed to do if not vote” is such a profoundly vile & self centred response to someone raging at the genocide of their neighbours, friends and family. they don’t even have to mention elections, you’ll just bring it up anyway because you fully believe you’re the main character of the world and that, simultaneously, your elections both mean nothing and are also existentially important every four years. people telling you to kill yourselves, to fuck off, calling you an idiot, is the least you deserve. I hope you know that every time you talk like that, there are thousands of people rolling their eyes at you because you are so deeply unaware of how infantile and uninformed you sound that you genuinely believe you of all people are saying something remotely unique, insightful, or “nuanced.” your opinion is the common denominator of the west, it is the single least original thing to ever come out of a human being’s mouth in all of world history. you may as well be a Bethesda npc reciting your one of three pre-programmed lines, made more comical by the fact that unlike a video game character, you actually have the choice to keep your mouth shut, and yet at every opportunity you make the decision to grace the world with the trillionth iteration of “I… I don’t think you understand how fucked the US voting system is…”

[abcdfghjklmpqrobin]

I can't with the mischaracterization of Shen Yuan in fics

Especially fics where SY doesn't transmigrates as SQQ but as an NPC or an OC... Omg they just massacere my boy!

They write him so weak and useless, just a victim for Binghe or someone else in his harem to save.

Like, is this supposed to be the same guy that in cannon told Binghe "If you surrender to him, I’ll crush my own skull" while held hostage??? The same Shen Yuan that has stated over and over that there's nothing he hates more than 'weak characters that hold others back'? That spent his whole life preparing for his isekai??

They write him as this clueless dude, that trusts everyone and is clumsy af, tripping on his own feet. Getting freaked out about every little gore and somehow crippled with social anxiety (which is not a thing he has in cannon??) And he never uses his knowledge on the world building to get himself out of trouble. Just clinging to Binghe every given opportunity.

Like I get SY is a silly little dude, and without the risk of being OOC a lot of his freak would be just out there for the world to see... But bro, that doesn't mean he's not smart af, that doesn't mean he's not ambitious. You cannot tell me SY wouldn't be the baddest bitch if given the opportunity. He would cultivate to immortality just because is cool, he would set out to beat beast and demons just because he read about them and is curious. And if someone messed with him he would verbally destroy their asses.

He WOULD trip and fall BUT THEN do a backflip to cover it up! And he WOULD be kind and forgiving, but not without reason.

Give me back my badass bitchy Shen Yuan, smart in everything except his own feelings!!

[evadingreallife]

Okkk i've finished the first chapter (the prologue actually but shhhh) and now i definitely know approximately +∞ ways of saying calamity/bloodshed/depravity than before. Net improvement here. Wish me luck for the actual first chapter byee

Somehow my feed has been full of hot takes ab the mdzs translations or whatever so ive decided to go straight (haha) to the source and im currently slaving through the first chapter in chinese. And let me tell you. Its h i l a r i o u s. I mean, it's funny in english too. But in chinese? Automatically 10x funnier. Multiple characters per concept something something, plus this one guy saying that wwx is awful with maybe 10 different words together. I love this.

[misto713]

crossover idea: scumbag system vs. anastasia

SQQ successfully completed his 'suicide', LBH is devastated and clutching his corpse, SQQ makes his 'escape' into the growing mushroom body... except SQH made a liiiitle mistake:

SQQ's new body didn't take 5 years to grow, no no. It only took like a month. But, maybe due to the rush, maybe due to the fertiliser, maybe because SQQ blew up his own golden core right before his 'death'...

SQQ lost his memories during the soul transfer.

So now Shen Yuan, a freshly deceased 20-something with no System found himself in the world of his most (loved)hated novel as some random NPC. After all, not like he could recognize his new face (face being a mix of SY and SQQ), neither does he have a not-so-friendly eldritch abomination / System in his head to tell him who he is. And upon first waking, he has crawled out of soil like some knock-off zombie with no personal belongings so no hints there either.

Shen Yuan assumes he's some random rogue cultivator and starts to make a life for himself.

Meanwhile...

Luo Binghe is slowly going crazy, losing himself to his mourning, as his underlings get more and more frantic because Sad Binghe has a tendency to spread his 'sadness' around and makes the demons bloody feel his displeasure, when Sha Hualing gets a wonderful, bright idea:

If her boss misses his Shizun so much, why don't they try to find a replacement for him? One that looks just like the dearly departed old man. Oops, that didn't work. But that's ok, let's find someone who looks and acts like the Lord of Qing Jing Peak.

Discount SQQ: "Binghe, it's me! Shen Qingqiu!"

Sha Hualing & Mobei-Jun: "..."

And then?

Then they stumble across unsuspecting SY who wandered into the demonic planes in search of fun(dangerous) critters whose sketch and description he can add to his growing bestiary.

And man, this guy might not look exactly like Shen Qingqiu, but he acts like him. So much that even even they start to sort of believe it might be his weird reincarnation or something. Even the family name is the same!

They have to bring this guy to Emperor Luo. Maybe this guy won't get killed on spot and their boss will freaking chill for a minute.

Cue Shang Qinghua nervously biting his nails in the background and wondering why his Bro doesn't recognize him, or anyone else.

Luo Binghe, after exchanging three sentences with 'discount sqq', doesn't quite believe it's his (amnesiac) Shizun, but decides to keep him around anyway as he rides hard on nostalgia train. He can always use this guy as a teething toy and body pillow as he waits for a hint on how to get to the Holy Mausoleum to resurrect his real Shizun.

And Shen Yuan? Wonders what sort of fresh hell this is and whether he fell into some weird PIDW fanfic instead of the original because why is the blackened protagonist hugging the scum villain's corpse and why tf is he gay??

[miiilowo]

stressed out cause there's an npc in monster roadtrip with actual boobs and he's a man and a guy and a dude and i don't mean pecs i mean like Boobs and he's a goat demon and his name is fucking bradphomet and he's not even romanceable . his sprite doesn't even show up in the gallery. literally fuck my whole entire life