#delete the // i didnt and it said //gets scared which . with me listening to music i mainly listened to in 2016 right now (my old playlist) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

settled-heart · 8 days

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Deleted Scenes - 9/10/24

Magnolia

In January I got to see where/how he grew up. I always was the one who knew the least of these stories, maybe because as a kid I didn’t like “gossip” and as I got older they wanted to spare me what she should’ve also been spared.

Everyone knew my grandma and was shocked she was still alive. She worked a lot of jobs her whole life and knew some medical stuff so she’d help out neighbors and take care (or "take care") of animals in the area too.

One story she would always bring up was of the turtle she had as a kid, I think while she was still in spain but I'm not sure about that. The turtle loved music and if she put on a record hed slowly make his way over to listen right next to the speaker.

One day she came home and couldn't find the turtle. She looked everywhere and couldn't find him. Her neighbors invited them all over for dinner that night and the story is predictable from there (they cooked it and fed her the soup).

He spent summers in a "country house". I always pictured the "country" as PA, but it was actually closer to marshland, and very near to the beach. We met some of the people he used to hunt in the marshes with and got to see their farm. Someone had broken into the farmhouse and stolen some stuff but they didnt find the chainsaw so his friend was happy. The guy himself was the older brother of his childhood best friend in that area.

As kids, his best friend was known as this incredibly strong guy. They were mostly alone and hunted alot, but didnt have much money and only one guy had a gun, most of them used slingshots. The best friend was so strong he didn't use one at all. He would pick carrots out of the ground and throw them with pinpoint accuracy at birds and knock them clean out of the air. With terrible irony he died one of the worst deaths I've heard of, he got caught in a baby-carrot cutting machine.

My parents know a few people like this. Another was a professional window cleaner who had a career of like 10 years. After spending so long so high up he died falling off a 10 foot ladder and landing on a fire hydrant.

When his older sister was ~20 his mother moved to the states to help her with her business which was kind of like a bodega but with a lot more food. Here my gma would basically be the main chef.

He was alone back home with his dad and his dad was a really strange guy. He always spoke well of him through my life, but it always sounded like he was a shallow figure compared to his mom. Now hes states that he sees his dad as having been a really good friend more than a dad.

He said that his dad loved his mom more than anything. His dad was constantly cheating on her though, traveling the country/neighboring countries. After his mom left, this left him completely alone.

He said that when he was young at the country house he would fall asleep alone holding his shotgun because of how scared he'd get. Sometimes his eldest sister would visit and bring him food, but otherwise for the summer he'd generally have to take care of himself. He speaks of the country like it was heaven.

One summer, before his mom left, she visited from the city where she worked while he was in the country and told him his dog died. He got back to the main city at the start of the school year and found his dog walking around a different neighborhood with some kid. He screamed at the kid to give him his dog back and the kid said "listen I believe you but some lady had given him to me a few weeks ago". He confronted his mom and she said that the dog had been ruining her garden.

The trip turned to shit after a solid first week. He got stressed about work, started to bully her, and kept doubling down until she snapped. It got so bad, I think it set the course for the year, they shouldnt be together without major change. They should've divorced long ago.

They were together since they first got here. He was the driver for one of her sister's dates. They were both ~18 and have been together over 40 years

A few years ago he got a gun safe. While setting the password he made sure to tell me it since some are mine, and to have a backup in case something happened to him. She insisted to know the password

A couple of weeks ago after we had too good of a weekend they get in a gnarly argument. He starts to pack a bag to stay at a hotel, things heat up. He said he didnt feel comfortable leaving him with the guns and wanted to change the password before he left. She said he was going to the safe for a gun. She hit him and called the cops. They helped him change the password and offered for him to press charges but he declined.

She was the youngest of 13 and grew up in a hard time/place. Her family experienced/did just god awful things, I have no idea how shes alive, the amount of violence she's lived in is heart breaking.

In July my friend and I were having a practice run for a barbeque. At the time i couldnt drink and wasn't smoking. I told my friend that one thing that was nice about being sober is that i don't have to worry about something terrible happening while being in a state that I can't respond easily "like if my grandma were to randomly go to the hospital".

That night he calls me and I'll never forget being annoyed because i thought he was worried that i didn't check-in on time. He told me his mom fell and was in the hospital.

Through July we'd stay with her. His sister's wouldn't come because of their relationships with her, he had to decide everything himself. I couldn't do more than keep him company. I was so proud of my sister. Being able to navigate the hospital like that, to take principled/thoughtful action while being pressured/misled to "just let the old person die".

She passed the last week of July, he was the only one with her. He thinks she was waiting for it to be just him, and that she was waiting for a moment that he looked away.

The funeral was the first weekend of august. He expected few people, but a ton came. Extended family we haven't seen for 15 years came. We worried about drama, but it was beautiful. My friends came. After the burial we went to the childhood restaurant/one owned by my dad's friend. He invited everyone and we caught up. I met the person my grandma wanted to set me up with for so long. My dad was happy to get to know his (grand?) niece since he used to be really close to his niece who was like a little sister for him.

One person said when my sis and I were kids she took us for a walk outside during my cousin's baptism service. Random images came back so vividly from that day but they were just so specific and bizarre. I remember: we walked on this stone wall a bit, it was beautiful outside, it smelled of weird but pleasant chemicals inside, we played with mighty beans

Since she passed he has been struggling. He is more distracted, guilty, depressed. He resents her for stopping him from going on a trip to his home country with his mom while he could.

When he was a kid she beat him a lot. She hit him so badly his eldest sister had to take him to the hospital once.

She was basically raised by her sisters. Her mom was wed to her dad when she was 16 and him 40. She had been in love with an artist before the arrangement. The frequent childbirth took a permanent toll on her health and she was bedridden much of the time.

When I was a kid he told me he wouldn't love me the same if I was gay. I had recently told him about an article where Josh Hutcherson said sth like he was bi just in case he fell in love with a man and how I thought that made so much sense hahah. He was my best friend though, it really killed something in me.

The first person I really loved was A. He wasn't very nice but he was charming, the smartest person in our class, and not just athletic but also COOL athletic (played hockey and was good at it). We spent the whole summer together playing basketball, biking around, and going to the pool. I'd get so jealous of the attention he got from girls, so jealous if he would hangout with other people when i couldnt go. I can feel the tightness in my chest from when we'd be getting ready for the pool. The constant comparison and desire. It wasn't a healthy love and I still struggle to not get this warped, but man I can still picture the sun in his hair.

Highschool was a constant boom-bust, I had a lot of fun doing whatever. I thought I'd kms and did whatever seemed fine. Eventually I settled on it but broke down to them and he choked me. He stopped and regretted it, but I don't think they ever fully forgave me for saying I wanted to die.

In march she called me omw to a movie and told me she didn't want to live anymore. She said she really didnt want to go to her home country. We talked and I tried to go but she said she was safe/fine and wanted to be alone, but just really didnt want to do the trip.

I was having some work issues already so a couple days later I got shingles haha. Even my dentist had told me at that time that i needed to chill out because my clenching was rapidly changing my mouth.

Too tired to write any more but i think this year has been tough, its felt good to walk through some of this. It sucked so bad for so many things. I learned so many terrible things that I'll never repeat (despite saying some things here lol), the depth of the pain they've experienced tears me apart.

They keep hurting us/themselves/eachother and its at a limit now where it feels like we missed our chance for anything reasonable, the latest issue feels too serious to come back from.

I love them so deeply, I want them to find peace in their lives so bad. I want us to be happy together, for them to get over their hangups before I have kids.

I want a stable love. I worry that I'll never be earnest with others, that I'll change myself for each context and every partner. I want to be loved as I am but have no strong identity and explicitly see it as romantic to lose myself for another. To "not be loved the same for X" means just as easily that i can be loved more if i dont do X, but it never feels right, I don't trust the love i get. I still hope that i can get straightened out and learn to. The one thing I know I've proven to myself is that I do have love to give but frankly if I don't change its better off kept private. I always wanted kids and now I finally feel the weight of it. Hopefully the therapy helps, hopefully i can be a little smarter and more disciplined, and more open, and more. Its worth it all

#deletedscenes

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richard-of-windoor · 4 years

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oc talk

tw for death talk

Please leave a like or something in the replies if you read this

“why are you crying?”

that was what my first therapist said to me after she asked me about my ocs for the first time. i started crying about them on instinct. no i wasnt talking about anything sad, i was simply talking about them. i dont even know how to describe anymore what they are to me. are they me? an extension of me? or just characters? i cant answer that because i dont know. at first they were just playthings. i made up scenarios in my head because i was bored. i used to be so excited to go to bed at night just so i can imagine them in my head with whatever story line i had. then those thoughts shifted to the day, then whenever i listened to music. slowly they just became a common part of my mind.

theyre so different. most of my current characters didnt exist in middle school. Kristen and Cameron were the first ones and then came others. Then i scrapped the others because i didnt like them anymore. Their names were Ryan and Sabrina, I stole Sabrina’s character design and gave it to Davorin’s mother Agatha eventually. So i guess she still lives on?

i cant even remember how others came to be, soon i wanted Cameron to have a brother which birthed Andrew, but i wanted them to have more friends then i watched fairy tail and thought wow a fire and ice wizard at each others throats is good then i made Luke and Max except i later scrapped the rivals now theyre good friends but then Max needed a friend which birthed Robert but then Robert started getting used more and then he became a vampire and then i switched his name to Davorin.

Stella, Teddy, and Jet were all main characters at that time. eventually i decided it was too bloated and deleted them. i always hated getting rid of them like that. it made me really happy when i finally decided on a way to keep them alive. make them side characters at Davorin and Vince’s old school.

i literally cant tell you how Nate and Blake started, the only thing i remember was their powers were completely different than now. Nates eyes were his powers. He could see the future in short bursts. Now he’s just a powerful mage. Blake used portals to fight. Hopping around confusing the enemy and attack a weak spot. Now Blake is a swordsman with magic and also part dragon due to being experimented on. i later gave Blake’s powers to Vince’s brother Bryce. its weird to think they just. showed up.

before my meds before my therapist i laid on my bathroom floor bawling my eyes out. wanting nothing more than to never wake up again, to end it right there. i looked up to the ceiling begging for a way out, but then i suddenly got so scared thinking of them. if i died who would carry out their legacy? if i died so would they. and they dont deserve that. i thought of them trapped in my mind forever, i dont want that. i want people to know who they are. i need people to know who they are. i cant give them up. im a selfish owner, i cant bring myself to let other people handle them. it was the only thing that made me want to stay alive. the only thing i could bring myself to live for.

as soon as i can get this game made. as soon as people know who they are. i can die. i always knew that. when i would tell myself no one would ever love me. when i tell myself that im going to be alone forever. even if one day im alone in an apartment begging for companionship. i know i could leave peacefully one day. as soon as theyre set free.

its stupid right? to cling to life with a bunch of characters who dont exist? i must have been blessed with something to think of them right? theres a reason i thought of them.

i cling to them. i beg them to never leave me. for them to be the only constant ill ever have in my life. my life isnt mine, its theirs. im just their vessel and im fine with that. i like to think that i cry because theyre happy. theyre happy someone finally besides me cares. i cant describe how emotional i get over them. its a big wave at once.

im. not used to talking about them in person and i dont think i ever will be. i cry as soon as i get some words out about them. it hits me all at once when i mention them out loud. the only reason im alive. its scary in a way, to think one day ill be ready to die.

#kelly's stupid crap

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kvmes · 5 years

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Another Love TKO

I just read your text post about the dude you liked and it made me think of a situation that happened with me and this girl i had a huge crush on at my college.

I'm pretty sure it was fall semester 2017, i had walked to my building for class like i always did, i had my headphones in like always and was early to my class like always.

(quick side note) idk about you but im introverted, the reason i mention that is because me being as introverted as i am, im very observant. I notice everything around me, i notice peoples faces, the clothes they wear, im just a very observant person. I dont talk that much, and i never walk around with my face in my phone like everyone seems to do these days, im always, always in deep thought, and deep observation.

Anyways, i get to class hella early and i have my headphones in and im just chilling, when all of a sudden i see the most beautiful girl i have ever seen at my college, i mean, she was stunning. her hair was curly, and it was in a bun, her skin was golden and she had a bandana that was a mixture of red, black, and green. she had those gold and black suede pumas that was popular around that time.

Her arms were criss crossed across her chest and she was carrying her books. in the 5 seconds it took for her to pass me i picked up her whole vibe. she walked past me and didnt even know i existed. but i didnt give a shit, i was absolutely blown away by how gorgeous this girl was. when i say she was the most THE most beautiful girl i had ever seen at my college... i mean it.

She walked past and it was like slow motion, i stopped my music and said to myself, "damn who is that"?! and that slow motion shit stopped and time was regular again, i was like "aigh i have to get to know her". so i literally looked at the time to make sure that every tuesday/ thursday i was at that exact spot just so i could get a glimpse of her. and sure enough every tuesday/ thursday i saw what i thought would be my future wife.

But the thing is, here i am picturing all this lovey dovey shit like walking down the beach, me surprising her with flowers, me taking picture of her (im a photographer) all that gushy shit, and i know deep down im too shy to even approach her lol... one thing about men that most of us wont admit is that, when we see "the one" or that girl that makes time stop and makes you reevaluate life for a second.... we be gettin scared... or shit maybe its just me. but the fear of fuckin up can really stop you from doing somethin great. in this instance it was my fear that got the best of me. but when we men see that girl that you just know you have to have, we just dont know how to act idk why.

but idk im speaking for all dudes like i know, shit so maybe its me. anyways... i would see this girl basically every tuesday/ thursday and never speak.. i would always chicken out, because it would be hella people in the hallways, then on top of that she always looked like she didnt wanna be bothered, so i was like fuck lol im never gon get this girl.

so i said fuck it. ima just wait till i see her on the campus walking and try and speak to her then. i figured shit if i talk to her when its only her, if i get rejected, only me and her will know lol... so idk what picture i had in my head but the shit was nothing close to what actually happened. i thought i would see her on campus... and i literally saw her like 3 times on campus, and she was either to far for me to get to her or going in a building i wasnt going into... its like she was a ghost. i started questioning did i even see her in the first place, or was i just so in need of real love that i made her up...

So i basically just gave up... and then one day at work i saw her again. at this point it had been like weeks since i last saw her on campus. i had dropped the class i had in the spot where i saw her in the first place, so i basically didnt see her at all.

if im being honest the shit was like a movie, i had got on the elevator to go check the trash in one of the buildings like i had did every single day of that semester, and as soon as i got off i saw her walking in one of the entrances. that same rush of adrenaline came over me like it was my first time seeing her all over again. we looked at each other but walked past one another. she walked to the staircase entrance and was gone in 5 seconds again.

i had never had a girl make my heart beat like this before. i was in a daze. i was so nervous but i now knew that she lived in one of the dorms i worked in, which made me happy. so i planned on talking to her the next day. my confidence level shot up, i was ready to finally talk to this girl.

the next day at work i tried to spend as much time as i could in her dorm, and of course... i didnt see her. I saw her the one time and that was it.

It wouldnt be until the end of the next semester which was spring 2017 that i saw her again. i was working in the dorms. she was packing her stuff up to leave, and i said oh well no use now. so i was with my coworker and we were laughing and joking, and i said alright man ima go and make myself busy.

no sooner do i leave him to go check on trash in the dorm "my future wife" lived in, i was cleaning something in the lobby, and through the blinds i saw my coworker talking to the girl of my dreams!! she was smiling and laughing and i saw them get in the elevator together... so i rushed over to that building and of course the elevators we busy. so i took the stairs down and went to the basement and i didnt see them... i rushed to catch the elevator back up and as i was getting off the elevator i heard her laugh and say "have a good day" and the door shut, and my coworker walked around the corner and said "oh shits whats up"! from the time i saw them talking in the first place to me getting up there when she was walking out the door, it was about 2-3 minutes.

my heart was beating 1000 times a minute, my coworker came around the corner and saw me, i said "yo bro, who was that girl you were just with"? he said oh her, idk... i was like bro that girl is the girl of my universe lol... the next time you see her give her my number or just text me so i can talk to her... he said alright bro i got you.

And of course because life is life, i didnt see her until spring 2018. J. cole's KOD album had just came out a few weeks prior and i was blasting it in my headphones. i was in dream girl's dorm, and i saw her again... she was loading up her car and getting ready to leave... today was the day. i was goin to speak to her... and i know i said this shit 5 thousand times, but this time i had a feeling it would be my last chance.

i saw her a few times loading her car and was nervous. so i turned on one of my favorite cole songs... 03 adolescence. it gave me the confidence i needed. i saw her walking with her R.A and i knew that meant she was checking out and leaving for good, so i waited in the lobby because i knew she would have to walk through there to get to her car...

i was nervous as fuck, and even more because she had her R.A with her and if i got rejected he would see, but i said fuck it. she walked in and i said excuse me, she turned to me and her smile was beautiful, her voice was soft and kind of high pitched. "i said im sorry to bother you but you are beautiful to me and i have had a crush on you for a long time"

she started blushing, smiling and giggling. she said "oh my god do u? where have you see me at?" I said "eh you know, just around". i knew time was fading for me to ask for her number, so i said hey listen i have to get back to work and i know you have to leave, so how about i give you my number and you just text me. she said ok cool.. she pulled out her iphone. the screen was cracked, so i was extra careful to type my number in correctly. i handed it back to her and she said "cool i'll text you when later"

i said ok. on the outside i looked hella regular, but on the inside i was on the moon somewere... i walked into one of the other dorms and jumped up with excitement, i couldnt believe after all this time we had finally spoke. i finally got to talk to her. i was on fire. but then i quickly came back down to earth because the real test was waiting to see would she hit me up.

I waited all day and all night, and came up with every excuse in the book. "maybe she just got tired from driving" lol... maybe she dropped her phone and it cracked and broke... maybe she accidently deleted the number. i came up with every excuse in the book.

and after all that, she never texted me. and i have to say my feelings were hurt for a few days. i was more embarrassed than anything, because i put myself out there only to strike out. it was also the fact that i pictured us walking down the beach, all that lovey dovey shit i had thought about was basically never gonna happen. i had feelings for this girl, and she didnt even know the half. what hurt the most was that she never got to know how i really felt. i pictured her asking me "so how long have you liked me"? and i wouldve told her how i knew i liked her from the first time i laid eyes on her

how i knew exactly what she wore on the first day i saw her, how furiously my heart beat from just getting a glimpse of her. i wouldve told her that every time i saw her it was like the first time i saw her.... but it never happened sadly... and after that encounter it was truly the last time i had saw her. she either transferred, moved off campus, or graduated. so i wrote this out because your story reminded me of this, but also just to say, we're all kind of awkward in our own little way, and i think that no matter how awkward we are and how odd we might be, theres someone out there waiting in the universe that will love us unconditionally. ( sorry this was so long) have a great night.

#black and artsy #kvmes #submission

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saltyafmf-blog · 6 years

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Davos, Edd and Tormund & BRIENNE OF FUCKING TARTH, also why Daenarys isn't the one for Jon(also I'm the Valonqar of Jonareys)

Ever since Jon and Sansa reunited the intense breathing, the constant eye fucking that they do with each other and all of that innappropiate tension, three men and Brienne, have literally been the only few people in the show to see the tension, like when Dadvos said "jon isn't a stark" and sansa replies "no, but I am"

She literally and very subtly proposed to Jon, and Davos and Edd shoot a look at each other

Like our Boi GRRM, Jon has a major thing for redheads, partly because Catelyn never gave him love, so in a way Jon tries to find a redhead that he can get validation as well as support, and Jon does the same for Sansa, he understands how she felt after everything she went through (Joffery, Ramsey & littlefinger and in the books there's like 2 other dudes who want Sansa's claim to winterfell) so she's been abused, raped and defiled, she feels at her strongest when Jon is with her, he also sees her need for recognition, remember Jon would have died at the BoTB or as I like to say bastardbowl, if Sansa hadn't gone to Moat Cailin to get the KoTV, Jon would have been food for Ramsay's dogs, it was her who won the battle. All being said and done, Jon does feel indebted to Sansa, she was in the prime leadership spot, but Northern Lords crowned Jon, he doesn't want the Crown, but he doesn't want Sansa to be fucked over by the power the Northern Crown gives her, he loves her and wants to protect her.

Also just wanted to point out that Jon didn't tell Danny much, she knows about Robb and Rickon, then later finds out that Arya and Bran are alive, which only happened because the raven was sent to Dragonstone and seen as Danny controls the area, she's obviously gonna know what's on the scroll. Then there's the whole Jon dying thing that was abruptly stopped by Jon when Dadvos said "he gave his own lif-" then later Danny sees that he was stabbed. Also Jon knew Maester Aemon Targaryen, why didnt Jon say anything? He doesn't trust her, she's impulsive and she's bathed in her own words "fire and blood", Jon gave away as much as SHE needed to know.

And when Jon left WF, Sansa didn't stop looking in Jon's direction the entire fucken time, and the Littlefingers like (hmm, when brothers and sister develop certain feelings towards each other) and then from there, he begins taunting Sansa, by saying "ive heard the silver headed gorgeous devil is beautiful and jon is young and unmarried, then Sansa is like "what?! You think Jon wants to marry her" Littlefinger was purposefully trying to get a reaction out of her, which he got, from both Sansa and Jon and you Jonareys bros have got to admit, there was so much Jealousy coming from Sansa I could smell it from Winterfell to fucking Dorne.

There's also a scene that was deleted or not shot (I can't remember which one) but Jon talks to Ghost before leaving WF, it supposedly says that Jon told Ghost to watch over Sansa, now I know Ghost protects people that Jon cares for as evident when Sam was protecting Gilly from Bros of The Nights Watch beat the shit out of Sam and then Ghost comes in and scares the fuck out of them, but Jon didn't tell Ghost to watch over Sam, yet he told Ghost to watch over Sansa... coincidence.... I think not.

Jon and Sansa Sibling Upbring was literally non existent, they never really had much to say Jon was busy brooding or dodging Catelyn, where Sansa wanted to become a proper Lady, she even says something along the lines of "Jon is jealous of Joffery, but he's sad because he's a bastard" she even asks him to forgive her when they Reunite at Castle Black, who else got shivers when that Hug happened?

Also the background theme music and Clothes worn by Jon and Sansa match like fucking when couples got matching Onesies, like bro when Jon went to Dragonstone he was all clad in black with subtle hints of grey and blue, whereas Sansa and Jon are matching clothes since S7 Ep1. Did anyone else get freaked out about Danny's background themes, the music was Dark and ominous as fuck, also look at how she dressed, she wore scales on her dress when arriving at Dragonstone, but as Jon is there, you can actually see that her outfits are going from less scaley to normal westerosi types of clothes to please Jon, to make herself seem more normal and less dragonlike.

Also when Danny loses her Dornish and Ironborn allies, she wants to use Drogon, Viserion and Rhaegal, Davos then says "you'll want to discuss this between yourselves", then Danny says "you will stay" and then proceeds to ask Jon what she should do and Jon gives her that speech, but what I found weird was the look Jon gave her after he said all this, it's like he knows that Danny will listen to him and Tyrion gives sort of weird one, Tyrion by the end of the season has no traction at all with Danny, she's stopped listening and going on Crazy rants, Tyrion understands the consequences of Danny listening to Jon, you guys have got to understand this isn't the first time Jon has played someone, remember the whole Jon/Wilding Arc? It was to show that Jon isn't who you think he is.

Season 7 is SUBTEXT

Then there's Neds Promise to Sansa "when you come of age, I'll find you someone who is worth of you, brave and strong but kind" ahem ahem sounds like Jon... ding ding ding ding we have a winner JON FUCKING BROODING IN A CORNER SOMEWHERE SNOW

It's okay Jonareys shippers, I have come to destroy your fleets and cast you aside, but unlike Danny, I won't set you on fire with a dragon, I'll let Arya behead you bitches, cus if you guys can't see how everything Jon is doing is for the North and who's in the North? Who did the KiTN leave the North too? I mean my man turns into a fucking bear and pins Littlefinger against a wall, like I got sister's who got boyfriends and you don't see or hear of anyone choke slamming a potential suitor into a brick fuckin wall??? Also just to sink your ship even further

Jon - "i'd uh bend the knee but" (everything before the word but is horseshit) I mean look at the Gif below, Daenarys is looking with lust and passion, but Jon looks like he just wants to get it over and done with (in Petyr Baelish's words "when you find yourself in bed with an ugly woman, best to close your eyes and get it over with) I AM NOT CALLING DANNY UGLY, I'm just trying to find evidence that matches with what's going on in Westeros

Jon's cold arrival on Dragonstone, she literally takes his boat and Longclaw and says "yeah but nah but yeah, I'm not here to argue grammar" (which is a major ass call back to Season 2 when Danny wants ships)

Jon is the motherfucking Heir to the IT, which weakens Danny's claim to it (She might be the mother of dragons, but law is law, yes she's allowed to go to war for that throne, but westeros has Legitmacy laws, and succession laws, either fucking way, he's got the better claim but so does Gendry) with her being Third in line when Aerys the 2nd was alive, and if you follow succession, it goes Rhaegar, Viserys and then Danny, but because Jon is Rhaegar' s heir he inherits the throne because Rhaegar was meant to inherit the throne after his father's death and after Rhaegar' s death at the Trident, the throne goes to Jon (Also when Ned arrives at the tower of Joy, Ser Arthur Dayne says to "I wish you good fortune in the wars to come, Lord Stark" and they start fighting but Ser Arthur Dayne said that cus he expected Ned to go to war with Robert cus Jon is the king) Also his Queen is in the Gif below

Sansa is the key to the North and Jon knows it, he knows when he's back in the North, the northern lords will be pissed af at him, but if he marries Sansa he gets to keep the North (remember Jon doesn't want the 7K, he wants the North to be secure and free)

Danny is literally 2 fucking Tsar Bombas (really powerful nukes) and when she realises that Jon was playing the game, she is gonna use them (season 2, house of the undying, the visions she has) Kings Landing is literally what Danny wants and I'm more than willing to bet she's gonna turn Drogon and Rhaegal loose on Kings Landing, what do you guys think she's willing to do to the North?

She burnt Poor Dickon and Cunt Randyll, which is Sam's dad and bro, like I know he was a dick, but your dad and your brother is family, and Sam has strong family values, do you really think Jon will be pleased to hear this? I think the fuck not

Also I get a weird feeling Jon is gonna bond with Rhaegal which for Danny *insert "where are my dragons" meme here* (She loves her "kids" and like any mom during a custody battle, it's going to turn Sour)

Also Sansa is a big threat, she not a "stupid little girl" anymore, she's been forming Alliances, she knows Houses from KL and all the way to the wall, Danny might have nukes (dragons) but what she gonna do burn everyone? ("I'm not here to be Queen of the ashes" but bitch if you carry on the way your are, there's gonna be no one left, what she gonna rule over? "A graveyard", when Jon said this something didn't sit right with me

Did anyone notice that when Jon went beyond the wall him and Jorah Mormont had a convo about his kids and Longclaw, the stark theme music started playing and guess who the fak turns up into the Frame???? SANSA MOTHERFUDGING, LEMON CAKE STARK.

My point being it's not gonna work for long between Jon And Danny, it's a song of ice and fire, not ice and fire and fire, also you motherfuckers are okay when Jon is slipping Longclaw into Danny's pussy, who is his aunt ( like who the fuck fucks their aunt?) But you guys can't stomach Jonsa? Got a problem leave it in the comments, I'll fucken slay you with facts fight me turd, also I kind of trailed off here

Also if you guys think Danny's pregnancy is gonna go full term, you guys are clearly fucken dumb, the magic in the world if ice and fire is coming to an end, all the giants are dead, the children of the forrest all but forgotten, and the direwolves will outlive them all but there time will come to an end for men shall outlive them all, for man has no room for Direwolves, eventually they too will die, Danny has two Dragons which are magic, Daenarys is fucken fireproof (She isn't fireproof in the books) that to me sound like magic, I'm not gonna say that Danny is gonna die cus S8 isn't out yet, but if you guys think that there gonna be another Targ baby (born of pure Targaryen lineage) your sadly mistaken, I really do think Danny is barren, Daario Naharis wasn't firing blanks at her, she just can't get preggers. JON WAS JUST TESTING TO SEE HOW DANNY KNEW SHE WAS BARREN AND THEN THE BOATBANG WAS LEGIT JUST A FUCKING WAY OF ENSURING THAT SHE WILL GO NORTH AND FIGHT THE DEAD BECAUSE JON KNOWS THAT SHE LOVES HIM

In the words of THE BASTARD OF THE DREADFORT "if you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention"

*sips wine, lights cigarette, watches the entire Jonareys fandom burn, like Lady Olenna but I'm male so more of a Tywin I guess*

#jonsa is endgame #jonsa #actually jonsa #daenarys stormborn #mother of dragons #jonaerys #ned stark #gameofthrones #winter is coming #sansa x jon #jon x sansa #sansa stark #jon snow #davos seaworth #brienne of tarth #dadvos #season 8

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 6 years

Text

I Hate You, Kim Taehyung! (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: I hope this still turns out into what all of you wanted since its many similar requests jumbled into one. Hehe. And as for the last two anon, I dont know if this can be considered as badboy Tae but I hope it works and I think all my Tae's fics has a touch of angst in it but mostly all of it has a happy ending. So I hope you will still like this ♡♡

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here. if anyone here like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

MASTERLIST

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate you Kim Taehyung!" Y/N screamed out as loud as she can as she sat sprawled down on the floor with seven years of costumes strewn all over her. She can shout as loud as she can and no one would say anything, seeing how its almost 4 am and she is the only one left in the building. Of course, her late night over time is thanks to none other than the charming Kim Taehyung.

When she first got offered the job as the junior stylist for BTS, she thought luck has finally shined down on her. That her days of making one cup of instant noodle last for the whole day is long gone. Little did she know that by accepting this job, she is cashing in a one way ticket to hell. A hell that is ruled by a handsome devil known as Kim Taehyung.

Well, not that she thinks he's handsome, but he is obviously not bad looking. He didnt win the most handsome face in the world for two times in a row for nothing, right?

But what good is his face if all he ever do is pick on her? Its as if he has developed a personal dislike towards Y/N and Y/N alone. Y/N couldnt understand why everyone keeps on saying that the members are friendly and nice. Well, maybe the other six are, she wouldnt know since shes too scared, embarassed and shy to even look up to their attractive faces, but she can definitely say that Kim Taehyung is the opposite of nice and friendly.

Making sure that Y/N got into trouble every single day seems to be his life mission every since she was assigned as his personal stylist. And incredibly, he even do it in various creative ways too. Saying the material is itchy minutes before stage, when it was perfectly okay during dress rehearsal, which resulted to Y/N needing to whipped out a whole new outfit for him in no time at all, which of course, got her into trouble when the last minute clothes doesnt fit the concept or doesnt match the others, purposely broke a zipper and ripped a button, coming in late for fittings and so many other ways that Y/N cant even understand how he can even come up with it. If only he puts his creativity into making an album and not on ways to get her into trouble, Y/N is sure he will have about 10 solo albums by now.

Like today for instance, Taehyung said his pants for the Idol music shoot is ripped when he received it, resulting in him wearing black pants while the other members wear a matching head to toe suit. No matter how hard Y/N tries to defend herself, saying the pants are perfectly fine when she gave it to him, of course people would believe their darling Kim Taehyung rather than the inexperienced new junior stylist, which resulted in her being stuck in the wardrobe storage room, assigned to reorganized all seven years of BTS' stage costume, according to the month, year and members. Thanks to the devil, Y/N missed her train to go back to her hometown, and she cant even afford to buy another one. So here she is, alone in the wardrobe storage room, hanging up their costumes by dates, and all the while cursing Kim Taehyung.

/////

"Oh, how come you are ready early today Tae?" Hoseok looks up from his stylist who is fussing over his shirt to Taehyung who is already impeccably dress.

"I finally had a professional stylist helping me today," Taehyung huffed. "For once, I finally know what it feels like to be ready on time and not have a stylist that makes stupid petty mistakes,"

"No Y/N today?" Hoseok immediately gets what the younger man is babbling about. Its no secret between the seven of them that Taehyung has an issue with the new junior stylist. Taehyung might call it hate, but the other six boys sees something else blooming instead. They just hope Taehyung would see it soon too.

"Off to go back to her hometown or something. I dont really care," Taehyung answered, trying to be nonchalant, making Hoseok lets out a hearty laugh.

"Tae, you of all people know that she didnt make any mistakes. You were the one who purposely created those mistakes for her," Hoseok stated out. Taehyung gasps, pretending as if he is offended that his hyung would accused him of such a thing.

"I did no such thing!" He placed a hand on his chest. "And whose side are you on hyung? You are supposed to be on mine!" Taehyung glares as Hoseok's stylist finishes fussing over his outfit and walks away, not bothering to listen more of their quarrel.

"I'm on the side on love Tae," Hoseok mocks and laughs as he walks away towards the stage. "Loveeee,"

Taehyung huffed. Love? Him? Even worse, him and Y/N?! Not until hell freezes over. Even then, he is still sure it wouldnt happen. Okay, Taehyung is at least man enough to admit to himself, and definitely nobody else, that he did do it on purpose, making life hard for Y/N. But what he himself dont know is why.

Taehyung would like to think its because of hate. But he doesnt hate Y/N. He doesnt have a reason to. They barely exchanged a few words with each other. Annoying? Well maybe. But not in the term of her attitude or anything. It just bothers him how Y/N seems so unaffected working by his side. She didnt even spare him a glance or gave him a look that lingered too long. Hell, she didnt even talk to him unless its absolutely neccessary. It shouldnt bother him,really. He has millions other girls who would willingly be at his beck and call, but from the first moment he saw Y/N bowing excitedly to the managers on her first day, he has set his eyes on her. And it just annoys him to no end that she didnt seem fazed or interested in his presence at all. So annoyance slowly grew into something more and Taehyung is just sure that he hates her now.

At least he hope it is.

Taehyung, all clean and fresh from his shower packs up his bag from the practice room and trotted out of the building. Why is it their cheographer likes to schedule a dance practice after a music stage? Taehyung is exhausted, cranky and definitely hungry right now and all the other boys has went home first, not bothering to wait for him to shower. He picks up his bag and puts on his mask before making the short walk to his favorite restaurant near the company to get some take out and head back to the dorm. He asked his managers to let him be alone today. Sometimes a busy idol needs his personal time too and an evening walk to get some air sounds good to him right now.

He passed by a small street vendor selling tteokbokki along his way. The small shop has been there for years,even before any of them were trainees, and they have never been there again after they debuted and fame catch up with them. Taehyung miss going there but now he just doesnt have a reason to. He used to try to bring one of the girls he casually dated there, but she scrunched her nose and without feeling even a bit guilty or shame asks him "Shouldnt a successful idol like you bring me to 6 star restaurant or something?" Well, lets just say Taehyung did bring her to one of those pretentious restaurant that serves too expensive meals that evening. She was happy, and he was happy too when he spent the night tangling with her between her sheets later that night, and he was definitely happier when he told her it was over while he buttoned back up his shirt after hes done and make his way out of her house, never looking back.

He would usually just pass by, not because he is afraid the customers would recognized him. People who eat there usually dont even give him a glance. But something just caught his eyes today.

Is that Y/N?

What is she doing here? Shouldnt she be back in her hometown or something? Wait, not that he cares. Right? But just as if hes been pulled by a magnetic force, he walks into the small shop and take a seat at one of the back table, hidden. Taehyung reasons to himself that hes just hungry and its been a long time since he ate some street food anyway. Its just cravings. Coming here has nothing to do with Y/N. But why is he always looking at her table, well, he prefer to not think about that.

Nibbling on his rice cakes, his eyes never leaving hers. Watching as she ate and laughs at something shes doing on her phone. Is she texting someone? A boyfriend? A friend? Not that he cares, just a close observation. He watch her smile and talk to the shop owner and some of the old man who are regulars at the store. Shes sounds friendly, polite and it seems she knows how to talk to older people. Taehyung is certain that his eomma and appa would love her if he take her home.

Wait. Where did that thought came from? Taehyung shakes his head, deleting that horrible imagination. There is no way he is introducing her to anybody.

His body reacted automatically. Leaving a handful of won bills on the table and walked a few metres behind her as she said her goodbyes and leave the shop. His hatred for her must have turned him into a stalker, he told himself. He followed her closely and he found himself smiling as he watch her help an old man crossing a busy road. Its hard to find young girls who volunteerily do that nowadays. He saw her skipped along happily on her way to wherever it is shes going, giving a won bill to every beggar she sees. Its obvious she does this everyday as the old beggars seems to be familiar with her. Then she walks into a convenience store and take one cup noodle and a small packet of food,Taehyung cant be sure what. He hides himself between the shelves as she pays and saw how shes counting her shilings from her pocket, sighing.

He scrunched his nose. Doesnt the company pay her enough?

Still curious and becoming more fascinated by what Y/N could possibly be doing, he followed her again until she stops at a secluded part of a park and crouched down. What the hell is she doing now? Is she someone weird? What is she knows hes following her and shes some kind of a mass murderer thats just luring him in? No way. He is too handsome to die. Y/N started to make a weird sound as in calling someone, or something, Taehyung cant be sure, breaking his horrible thoughts. a After a few minutes of making the strange sound, the bush rustles and a small dirty looking, buy certainly adorable dog came running out from the bush, tails wagging.

Y/N yelp happily when the dog jumped on her and patted its head lovingly.

"Taetae-ah, I'm here. I know I said I wont be here for a few days but I miss my train," she pouts at the dog, which oddly Taehyung found to be extremely cute. "That devil make me miss my train. Aish, I shouldnt have named u after that devil. You are too adorable. He is more of a dog than you ever will be,"

Taehyung chuckle to himself as he comes to a realization from what shes saying. Did she seriously named that stray dog after him? Furthermore, after his cute nickname? And the devil? Is that supposed to be him? She thinks of him as a devil? Is it weird he didnt feel angry at that? Worse, is it weird that he finds this whole thing cutely amusing?

"He purposely made me get punished again. Pd- nim was furious. He cut my allowance and made me come back at 6 am last night," she sighed and keep telling the dog her feelings while petting its head as the dog keeps eating the treat she gave him. "You are my only friend who will listen to me Taetae," Y/N sighed. "I dont have enough money to replace the ticket so I have to tell eomma I couldnt come back for her birthday and she sounded so upset. I hope she wont be mad at me for long. I'm sorry Taetae-ah, but this is all I could give you, I will work hard to earn more money so I can give you more delicious food," she smiles at the dog although it obviously couldnt understand her. "Lets just hope the devil wont make my allowance got cut anymore. Or worse, get me fired," With that, she stands up and clean her bottom from dust and say goodbye to the dog, promising she will come again the next day.

Taehyung was both fascinated speechless. Fascinated by what he just sees. And speechless by what he just heard. Did he really caused all that?

/////

Things changed after that. Well, not so much since Taehyung still make Y/N's life a living hell. But he would usually excuse himself to get go back home without the boys and followed Y/N. She did the same routine everyday, apparently. Stops by the tteokbokki shop to say hello, which he notice she doesnt eat everyday at, which most probably caused by her lack of income, help the old man cross the road, give some food or change to the beggars, went to the convenience store to get a cup of noodles and dog food and feed Taetae the stray dog.

Its nothing interesting really, just the same thing every day but Taehyung keeps on following her. He actually had fun watching her. Because even after the hell he put her through at work, she will still smile happily and skipped her way down the road. She will then tell about her day to Taetae and as he hides hinself behid the big trees in the park, Taehyung cant help but feels like shes talking to him. Afterall, she did name the dog after him. That must have mean something.

"So thats the concept for this dance. I think you will do a great job in picking out their outfits," Jong Soo, the cheographer that just seems to hate Taehyung very much, always picking on him when Jin is obviously the one doing the wrong moves, tells Y/N. Well, more like flirting with her, with the sly smile and occassional arm touch, and the way he leans against the wall seductively, Taehyung feels like barfing. It annoys him more that Y/N actually giggles as a respond.

Giggles!

As if what the man is saying is even funny!

"Yeah. Me and the other stylist unnie has some ideas. I just came here to see what exactly are the dance moves," she beams at him.

"You wont be working late tonight right?" Jong Soo gave her a flirtatious smile that makes Taehyung fumed.

"No. Dont worry," she giggles some more. "I'll be on time today,"

"Great. I'll pick you up at 8 alright?" Jong Soo winks and turns back to Hoseok and Jimin, discussing further on the cheography. Taehyung pull his ears, making sure he heard it right. Did Y/N just implied that those two are going out together tonight? Like on a date?! He smirks, an idea rapidly emerging in his head.

Sorry Jong Soo, but Y/N is going to be late tonight.

/////

"Do you know how expensive this is? This is Gucci! GUCCI! Does your simple minded mind even know what Gucci is?!" The senior stylist yelled out at Y/N, steaming with fury as she lifted up the suit jacket that has been quite obviously torn.

"B-but I didnt do it. It was perfectly fine when I put it on Taehyung," Y/N tried to defend herself using whatever courage she has left in front of her fuming supervisor, eyes already glassy with unshed tears. One more scream and Y/N is sure she will burst out crying. Her supervisor huffed.

"Its always wasnt you isnt it? Then whose fault it is? Taehyung?! Why would he ripped his own clothes? Explain to me then!"

"I-I..." Y/N blinked rapidly at the woman in front of her. How can she explained it to her? That Taehyung has an unexplained hatred towards her and he simply does it for his sick enjoyment in seeing her suffer? No one would ever believed it. Not when Kim Taehyung is giving them his big innocent puppy eyes look. Oh please, Y/N knew better. He can fool the others, but not her. She can see his devil horns and pitchfork anytime, that stupid monster from hell. "I really didnt do it..." Y/N mumble in a small voice.

"I dont know what to say Y/N. You have made the same mistakes countless times. Over and over again I gave you a chance. I thought the allowance cut and punishments are enough but apparently it doesnt. I have to report you to the PD. I'm sorry,"

"No please no unnie. I swear I didnt do it! And please. I'll make it right. I-I will come out with another outfit in time for the shoot. Please!" Y/N bowed and begged. If her supervisor report her to the PD, she will lose her job for sure.

"I'm sorry but this mistake is too severe Y/N. This is a sponsored Gucci suit for an advertisement endorsement that Taehyung has to shoot. Theres no such thing as coming out with a new outfit. We need to inform Gucci and apologized. The shoot will be delayed until they sent us a new suit. Do you even know how much trouble you are in?" She huffed. "Stay over at the company tonight and help the makeup artist's unnies to clean their makeup brushes and anything else they need help with, and I dont want to hear any complaints from you," She looks at Y/N before she could even say a word. She can say goodbye to her date with Jong Soo. "You should be lucky this is the only punishment for you and pray that the PD wont ask you to pay back for the ripped suit. I'm really sorry Y/N," her supervisor shot her a sympathetic glanced and walks out, leaving Y/N sniffling alone on the floor.

Y/N was not given anymore styling job for the next two days, only petty things like ironing the discarded clothes or organizing the boys' wardrobe after they are done using it. Y/N knows her days as a stylist at the company are numbered. She can feel it. And true enough, at the end of that second day, she was asked to pack her things and leave the company in 24 hours notice. Too tired to even argue anymore, Y/N nodded and packed her things, but not before stalking off in the practice's room direction where she is going to give Kim Taehyung a piece of her mind.

/////

Taehyung doesnt feel so good. He felt dizzy and extremely exhausted. He is not sure if its because of overworking or he is having a damn fever. He is alone in the practice room, trying to do a few more rounds of that one particular move that he just doesnt seem to get right. He needs to ace it before that bloody Jong Soo gets on his ass again. Trying to overcome his dizziness, Taehyung stand up and get into position, but before he can replay the music, Y/N stormed in.

He wanted to smile at the sight of her but quickly caught himself and puts on his cocky expression instead.

"What are you doing here? This is a practice room and last I check you are just a stylist and stylist dont belong here," he said smugly, not even looking at her direction. Y/N sent him a death glare that he can clearly felt on his back.

"Well, lucky for me that I'm no longer a stylist then,"

Taehyung felt his heart beats faster. What does she meant by that? Did she get fired? Did she quit? Whats going on? But instead of asking what his heart wanted to know, he pushed his curiosity aside and let his ego and pride takes over.

"Oh thank god. Thats good news!" He smirked, gesturing his hand in a grateful manner. "Just between us, you are not a very good stylist. You know, with the ripping and broken zipper and getting your artist late and what not,"

"All of that is not my fault and you know it!" Y/N screamed out. How can this man be so shameless and just pure evil? "I swear! One day people will know that its you who did it!"

"Really now? And who's going to tell all this people? You?" Taehyung lets out a loud sarcastic laugh. "You can try sweetheart but no one will ever believe you,"

"I just didnt think that you would be such an asshole!" Y/N yelled, tears already prickling her eyes.

"An asshole?" Taehyung scoffed and smirks at her. "What big words coming out from a pathethic little girl. I've been called way worse than that sweetheart," he looks at her with eyes full of disgust.

"And thats something to be proud of?" Its Y/N's turn to scoff. "To be called something worse? What kind of a man are you?!"

"A handsome, popular, most sought after one. Definitely better than someone like you," he smirks. "Got any problem with that?"

"What the hell is your problem? Do you even hear yourself right now?! I understand that maybe your conceited ego is blocking you to see the real world around you, but what is your problem with me?! What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so? Why do you feel the need to make my life suffer?" Y/N's chest is heaving up and down heavily from anger, angry tears are already rolling down her cheeks. Seeing her cry did something to Taehyung's heart, but right before he can even answer her, his severe dizziness took over and he fainted onto the groud.

Panic at the sight of the idol fainting in front of her, Y/N come to her senses and tries to get him back to conciousness but failed miserably. He is not dead right? And he is not dead because of her right? Y/N placed his fingers under her nose to checked if he is still breathing and felt relieved wjen his warm breath hits her fingers. She quickly helps him up and place his head on her lap and thats when she realized that his temperature is above the roof, indicating a high fever. After a few minutes of wiping his face with a wet cloth, Taehyung seem to stir but doesnt seem to be able to make out any coherent words. The building is already empty by now and Y/N doesnt know the number of any of the members or their managers. She doesnt even know where his dorm is located at and calling her supervisor is out of the question. They will just assume she did something to Taehyung, seeing how hard she tries to blame him the moment before she got fired. Y/N doesnt know what to do and she surely cant just leave him here to stay the night. So she did the only thing she can think of, take him back to her apartment.

/////

"Mhmm Y/N?" Taehyung stirred in his sleep after Y/N puts him in bed with a warm blanket over him. Y/N take a good look at his face. Is he dreaming? His eyes are closed but he called out her name didnt he?

"T-tae? Are you awake? Can you hear me? You have a high fever. But I'm going to help you alright,"

"Y/N mhhmm. Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Y/N," he keeps mumbling but Y/N cant be sure if she heard him correctly. "I am sorry for hurting you. Never meant to mhhm,"

"Shh Tae its okay. You need your rest alright," Y/N pulls the blanket up to his neck again and continue to put the wet cloth on his forehead, trying her best to ensure he fell asleep.

"L-love you,"

"W-what?" Y/N eyes widen. No way. Taehyung must really be out from his mind. He must think she is someone else. Yes, that must be it. Y/N tries to ignore it and continues to take care of him although her increasing heart beat never seem to be able to calm down. Especially when Taehyung repeated himself, loud and clear.

"I love you Y/N,"

/////

Y/N stayed up all night after Taehyung passed out, trying to nurse him back to health. She did everything she can to lower down his temperature and by the time the dawn breaks Y/N fell asleep in pure exhaustion at his bedside and Taehyung's fever has left him entirely.

Taehyung open his eyes slowly once the bright sunlight reached his eyes. As he blinks rapidly and trying to take in the room around him, he panics. Everything seems unfamiliar. Where is he? He quickly looks around and found Y/N curled in a ball on the floor beside the bed.

Y/N? What is she doing here? Why is she here? He cant remember anything that happened last night. The last thing he remembers is they were arguing in his practice room.

The sound of the bed rustling and Taehyung trying to get out of bed as fast as he can woke Y/N's exhausted form up from her uncomfortable sleep. With sleepy eyes she looks at Taehyung and flashed him a small, tired smile.

"Oh you are awake. How are you feeling?"

"Where am I?!" Taehyung glares at her. "Why are you here with me in this room!?"

Y/N was taken aback. His confession last night is still making her confused and anxious at the same time, and she had wanted to ask him about it today. She didnt think he would really love her, but maybe his confession means some kind of affection and they can atleast be friends now? But why is he back to the old Kim Taehyung? Could it be... that he doesnt remember?

"Y-you fainted last night. Due to a very high fever. So I-"

"Take me home to your house?"

"Y-yeah. I dont know what else to do," Y/N takes a step backwards, scared of his glaring eyes. Y/N knew she didnt do anything wrong. In fact, she should be furious that Taehyung is not down on his knees saying thanks right now but the man is so intimidating it scares her to the core.

"And you think I would believe that?" He scoffed. Y/N furrowed her brows. What is Taehyung saying? Wait.. he cant mean...

"You are not implying what I think you are implying, right Kim Taehyung?"

"If by that you mean I'm implying that you are taking advantage of me and my status by bringing me home to gain some kind of cheap publicity, then yes. Thats exactly what I'm implying!"

"I cant believe you!" Y/N yelled out, tears once again prickling her eyes. How can this conceited man even for one second think that about her? At that moment Taehyung's phone beeped at he scoffed as he scroll at the content of the message he just received.

"Yeah? You think I dont know how girls like you work?" He growls.

"Girls like me? What do you mean y that?!"

"Your kind applied for a job at some entertainment company, then you will try to make one of us falls in love with you and when you dont succeed, you start to get creative and do this kind of shit. Right?"

"How do you even came up with all of this? What are you even talking about?!" Y/N is frustrated now. How can she get through that thick skull of his and make him see that she doesnt have any othe rintention than just helping him. Which seems to be a big mistake in from her part. She should have just left him in the practice room.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Taehyung shoved his phone, the message he just received shone in front of her face to be read. To her horror, its a snippet of an article that is clipped together with a photo of Y/N helping Taehyung up the stairs of her apartment. Apparently someone saw her last night, although she has tried to be extremely careful, and the rumors are already ciculating that she is his secret girlfriend.

"Congratulations, you got the publicity that you wanted! But trust me on this, I wont just stand idly by and let you get away with this. You will pay for this rumor," with that Taehyung walked out from the apartment, slamming the door shut, not once looking back.

Y/N finally found out what he meant by her paying for the rumor two days later when the company release an official statement. Taehyung finally commented that Y/N is definitely not his girlfriend and she is just some ex staff who got fired and took advantage of him by bringing him home in his unconcious state. Its a lie alright, but it doesnt sound so bad right? Well, maybe for someone normal. But when that kind of statement comes out from a world wide popular idol with a gazillion of girls protecting him, it became dangerous. Real dangerous. And Y/N has no where and no one to protect her from the crazy fans chasing her for "attacking and taking advantage of their oppa".

After the first assault from his crazy fangirls that she encountered at the supermarket that leads to her to being pushed and scraped her knees to the point of heavy bleeding, Y/N decided to stay home as much as she can. But for how long can she stay that way? Especially with the craziness of his fangirls that doesnt seem to die down. Y/N have to go out and look for a new job. She needs to buy her groceries. She needs to live. So as an attempt to save herself, she make her way one more time to the company, trying to figure out what to say once she sees Taehyung and the PD. She will beg if she have to. She will do anything and promise to dissappear from the company and Taehyung's life, if they agree to help stop the torment of his fans on her life. But going to the company is a huge mistake on her part, because she forgot that there are always many fans that gathers in front of the building, hoping to atleast catch a glimpse of the boys and just one look at her, all of them rushes over, fuming and angry.

Y/N didnt have the chance to turn back and ran away. Hell, she didnt even have the chance to breathe before she was attacked..hair being pulled, body being beaten, scratched, scream at and clothes being ripped apart. Her face is swollen and sore, bleeding from places that she dont even know and she cant think straight anymore as her vision starts to blurred.

The last thing she remembered was being pushed to the middle of the road and something huge and black might have hit her and she felt pain. So much pain, before a voice that scarily sounds like Taehyung yelled out her name.

Maybe she truly has died and went to hell.

/////

"Arent these fans tired of waiting for us in front of the company?" Namjoon peeks his head through the tinted windows as their black van approaches the company. They are back after recording a music show and the boys are all exhausted and just cant wait to go back to the dorm and sleep. Their manager who is sitting besides him in the driver's seat chuckles.

"Well Joon, they are the one- what the hell is that?!" He stepped on the breaks out of the sudden, making all seven boys who are sleeping, with the exception of Namjoon, slammed forward in their seat.

"Ouch hyung! Whats happening?" Jungkook rubbed his head and yawns, looking around. "Are we back yet?"

"Shit hyung. D-did you hit a person? A fan?" Hoseok panics.

"Who the hell couldnt see a big van passing through and just crossed the road like that?!" Their manager panics too and starts opening the door to check. Jimin and Taehyung looks around from the window at the other fans who are gathered and smirking at the thing, or person, they still dont know for sure, thats lying on the streets in front of the van.

"Uh.. why do I get the feeling that whoever thats lying there is not an accident and is thrown in front of the van?" Jimin gulp nervously.

"What do you mean Chim? Did a sasseang do this?" Jin is curious, trying to peek his head. Namjoon who is still frozen at the front seat finally lean forward to see whats going on, hoping that its not a dead body thats hes going to see.

"Oh fuck,"

"What Joonie?" Yoongi asks curious.

"We did hit a person," Namjoon gulps. "Its that... that girl. I dont know her name. But its that stylist that Taehyung hate,"

"Y/N?!"

Without waiting and not caring if the fans will see and crowds him or not, Taehyung jumped out from the van.

"Y/N!"

/////

"O-oww," Y/N tried to move her body but she cant. Everything hurts, and the blinding white light of the room is not helping at all. If this is heaven, its not as beautiful as people imagined it to be. And it smell like steriled tools and medicine.

"Dont move. It will hurt more,"

And the angel's voice sounds like Kim Taehyung. Maybe shes in hell and not heaven. Yes, thats definitely it.

"Where am I? Am I dead?" She asks. Taehyung chuckles at her cuteness.

"Fortunately you are not. You are in a hospital. Y/N.. you have been attacked by uh.. my.. uh fans..." Taehyung looks down in sadness and guilt. "D-do you remember any of it?"

"Y-yeah," she tries to nod but it hurts too much. "A little bit but what I can remember most is feeling pain. So much pain,"

"I'm sorry Y/N," Taehyung's voice is soft. Is he crying? The cocky, conceited Kim Taehyung is crying?

"W-why are you here Tae?"

Taehyung knows this is not an ideal situation but he cant help but feels happy when Y/N calls him Tae.

"I-uh, Y/N.. your leg is broken and one of your arms are broken too. You broke a rib, there are cuts all over your body and your face is destroyed which will take weeks to fully heal. I cant just leave you alone! We wanted to call your mother but we dont know her details. Can you give her number to me?" He explained to her softly. It kills him inside to see her like this. Broken. Emotionally and physically broken. All because of him.

"No! Uh.. please dont call her. I dont want her to worry," she begged.

"Alright Y/N. Then I wont call her. Which means you leave me no choice but to let me take care of you," Taehyumg grinned, making Y/N uncomfortable.

"M-must it be you? I can take care of myself. A-and can you transfer me to a normal hospital room? I cant afford this," she might not be able to move, but even from what she can see, this is a private VIP hospital room and she definitely cant afford that.

"First of all Y/N, its my fault that you are hurt. So I'm going to nurse you back to health, whether you like it or not. And second, dont worry about anything. I'll make sure you will received the best treatment and care there is. Alright? " he smiles warmly at her and Y/N has no more room to protest.

For the one whole time that Y/N is required to stay in the hospital, Taehyung never left her side. He feeds her, helps her to go to the bathroom, talks to her, sing to her, read to her and makes her laugh. He did everything he could and Y/N sometimes couldnt believe that this is the same Taehyung she knows from before. After two weeks, Y/N is finally allowed to go back home and of course, Taehyung asks his manager to send them to her house and he helps her settles in.

"I'm okay now Tae. Thanks for everything. You can go now," she bowed from her wheelchair and smile. Taehyung looks at her funny.

"Uh no?" He sits down on her couch and make himself comfortable. "Do you think I would leave you alone and helpless? I will be here everyday at early morning when you wake up and only leave when you are sound asleep. Until you are capable of doing things on your own, thats what I'm going to do. And no, you cant protest," he grins before Y/N could have said anything.

So that is what exactly Taehyumg did for the next two months. He came in early in the morning with breakfast in hand, using the spare key he shamelessly made for himself. Feeds her, helps her washed up, clean her house, did her laundry, buying her groceries, cook, which he is very bad at, reads to her and just talking to her, making her laugh all day. Y/N has started to get used to his presence now and learned that, when he wants to be, he is actually nice and fun to be around. Hes funny, entertaining, smart and sweet all rolled into one. If only it didnt take all this for him to show her his true colors.

As he spent more days with Y/N, Taehyung realized that the feelings he has for her is definitely not hate. He still doesmt know what it is, but definitely, definitely not hate. He loves spending time with her. All the little quirks he learns about her is making him more interested in her, and the best part of his day now, other than spending time with Y/N of course, is doing her chores of helping the same old man he saw before cross the road, drop one won bill each to the beggars and feeds Taetae, which Y/N accidentally told the name of the dog to him with a hard blush. It amazes him how even in her condition,she stills wants to help others. She still wants to buy the dog food and give the beggars whatever change she has although she herself has little to none. Taehyung has never known anyone like her, and every single day his heart blooms just from seeing her face or even hearing her name.

He realized now. Hoseok was right. He is in love. He is in love with Y/N. But he realized it too late because Y/N is finally capable of standing up and walking, although still toddling, and told him that he doesnt need to come by anymore.

Y/N doesnt need him anymore.

/////

"What are you doing here Taehyung?" Y/N looks at him weirdly as she opens the door to see Kim Taehyung standing nervously at the door, holding a bouquet of flowers tight in his grasp. "Did you forget that you dont need to come anymore?" She smiles. He has been coming over for more than two months now. Maybe he forgot that he doesnt need to come anymore. "You dont have to come anymore Tae. Thanks for everything Taehyung. I guess I'll see you when I see you okay?" She bowed and starts to close the door and Taehyung quickly pushed the door back open, surprising her.

"Do you need anything?" She looks at him, brows furrowed. Taehyung looks at her face. Her pretty, pretty face. How can he not notice it before? After taking a nervous gulp he opens his mouth.

"Y-you,"

"Excuse me?"

"Y-you. You Y/N. You asked me if I need anything and I know the answer to that now. I need you. You are the missing piece that I need in my life," he fiddled with the stem of the flowers he is holding.

"Huh?" Y/N looks at him with a confused face before it turns into a smile. "Ahh, you are making fun of me again. One last time?" She giggles. "Good one Taehyung. But you should have gone with something else. I would never believe you will like me but nice try though," she nods and push the door close again but Taehyung kept it open with his strength and pushed himself inside.

"I-I know its going to be hard to believe. I-I mean I wouldnt believe me either if I were you. But I'm serious Y/N. I'm dead serious. I-I want to try with you," he stuttered his words out.

"Try? Try what? What do you mean?"

"T-try to be your boyfriend,"

"B-boyfriend?" Y/N's eyes turns wide. "You should stop it Taehyung. I already know this is a joke Its not funny anymore," her face turns into despair and Taehyung panics when he sees her eyes are starting to get wet.

"I'm not kidding!" He placed down the flowers and held both of her hand in his, clasping it tight. "I knew now why I was so mean to you before. Why I make your life a living hell. No, not now. I have known it for quite some time but I'm just too stupid, cocky and conceited to admit to it," he peeks into her eyes. "Y/N, you have captured my eyes, and heart, the moment we first met way back and I was too over my head to accept the fact that you are unfazed by me. I got angry, and then I got jealous at how you can seem to live your life normally and happily without me. So, I start acting mean to you. I need to be on your mind, in your life. In any way that I can, even if its in a bad way. I did all that so that you will always remember me. In some ways it did work, you did think of me all the time, but in a bad, bad way,"

Y/N is speechless.

"I know its stupid. Idiotic. Childish at its best. But Y/N, after everything we have been through and after all the opportunities you gave me so I can get to know you, I am not afraid anymore. I realized I should have just come forward and said it. I should have try to win your heart by treating you the way you deserve, like a queen. I'm sorry Y/N,"

"I-I..."

"Its okay. You dont have to decide now. But please, please dont kick me out from your life. Let me be with you. Y/N... I love you," Taehyung finally have the courage to say how he really feels.

The air was filled with silence for a few moment, Taehyung nervously gulped as he waits for her reply. After a long excuriating wait, Y/N finally answers.

"N-no. This cant be true. You hated me! A-and I hated you!" Y/N took a step back from him and Taehyung smiles. From her answers he can already tell that he has managed to penetrate through her heart. He takes a step forward to her and gave her his signature smile.

"You dont hate me Y/N,"

"I-I do. I really hate you. You put me through hell! I hate you Kim Taehyung!"

"Do you really?" He cocked his head and grins. "It doesnt matter, because Y/N. I love you,"

"I-I,"

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you and I love you L/N Y/N,"he smiles. "And I will do whatever it takes to make it right again. To make you believe me,"

"Y-you are not lying Tae?"

"Y/N... I cant stop thinking about you. Your face is all I can see when I close my eyes. Your voice is all I can hear. Just being near you makes me happy. Heck, just hearing your name is enough to make my day. I will give up everything for you. I will take care of you. I will help you get back your job. I will make sure you no longer have to eat only cup noodles. I will buy you all the tickets you need to go back home and see your mother. I would even drive you there Y/N. I will even introduce you to my parents. And lets adopt Taetae for real. He can be friends with Yeontan. Would I do all these if I'm not really in love with you Y/N?"

"Tae..." Y/N sniffles, a smile finally grazing her lips.

"So..." Taehyung hold her hands and rub the back with his thumbs. "Do you still hate me now?"

"People might say I'm stupid... but I... I love you Taehyung," she grins, and Taehyung was taken by surprise. Is this for real? D-did she confessed? "I have love you since we first met but I knew there is no way you would go for me. So I pushed it aside,"

"No!" Taehyung panics. "Uh I mean please dont. Dont push your feelings away. Please. I'm here now. I'm here to give you all my love Y/N. I promise. I promise you will be the happiest woman in the world," he takes her hand that he is still holding and kissed it. "Thank you Y/N. And we can go as slow as you want. As long as I still get to be by your side,"

Y/N nods. Her smile too big to be concealed anymore.

"Yeah. Lets do that. Lets rebuild back our relationship," her eyes looks at him lovingly. "And you dont have to do anything Taehyung. Hearing you say you love me? I'm already the happiest woman in the world,"

"Then, I will make you happy every single day. I love you L/N Y/N. So so much," he leans in close and cups her chin. "M-may I? Kiss you?"

Y/N nodded shyly.

And nothing could ever describe the feeling she felt when Taehyung finally touched his lips with hers. She fell in love with the devil, and it feels like heaven.

#bts #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bangtan #bangtan boys #bangtan scenarios #bts taehyung #BTS v #kim taehyung #taehyung #taehyung scenario #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung fanfic #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop scenario

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justkeepdancing-nemo · 3 years

Text

3am [deleted] || closed

The impact of Appa’s depression starts to take its toll.

tw: anxiety, depression

TAE-YAH

Nemo [deleted]: tae-yah? Are you awake?

Nemo [deleted]: i really shouldn’t be texting you so late and esp about this because of everything with you, but i cant sleep. Im really worried about my appa. Like, scared-worried. i

ROBBIE:

Nemo [deleted]: remember how you said i could talk to you about anything? Does that mean my appa too? And not like, complaining about him and its okay because i know he’s horrible to you so maybe i shouldn’t be

SINDRI:

Nemo [deleted]: sindri, things are getting bad with appa again. Maybe we should talk to Queen Clarion. Ugh but the trial stuff he would hate that and what if it just makes it way wors

Nemo [deleted]: do you think olaf might be able to help my appa? He’s not eating

FINN:

Nemo [deleted]: finn, do you mind if i talk to you about something with my appa? It’s kind of complicated and big and you cant tell anyone because he probably would hate that. I shouldnt even tell you. Im probably should worried over nothing agh

LOUIE:

Nemo [deleted]: louie, you know how dewey gets kind of… ughdlf

ROO:

Nemo [deleted]: Do you think your mum might be able to talk to my appa about like, taking care of himself…? Im not that worried or anything! Its just he’s working too hard i think and he’s acting kind of…

ROBBIE

Nemo [deleted]: lol its 3 in the morning and everyone is asleep but you. But i cant talk to you about this can i? Lol. and appa would hate it, wouldn’t he?

SINDRI:

Nemo [deleted]: all i ever do is complain to you

FINN:

Nemo [deleted]: i dont know what to do finny

ROBBIE:

Nemo [deleted]

: if i text you this late you’ll know something is wrong and i wont be able to tell you. I wish i could. I wish we could…i wish things were different and appa didnt hate you and you didn’t hate him. you probably understand better than anyone i know, too, is the thing. i mean like the way he feels. You’ve lost people. you get really sad too. you would know what to tell me and how i could help my appa or you would tell me that its going to be okay and im just overreacting. ok you wouldnt say that you’d say something better…something very you :/ robbie i… i cant send this.

TAE-YAH:

3:07 am

Neems: hi

Neems: sorry i know you’re sleeping i dont expect you to answer these haha i just Neems: you know sometimes where you just want to pretend that someone’s there? I think thats why im texting you. Im just being very me and overthinking a lot of things and idk making a big deal out of nothing

3:22 am Neems: im probably just lonely which is stupid. I mean being lonely isnt stupid but the fact it messes me up this much is.

Neems: blah and now my phone is gonna die probably i only have 14% left :( and i wont even be able to listen to music or watch youtube ugh

Neems: wish you were awake

3:39 am Neems: wooow i just realized how this probably looks lolol

Neems: sorry for texting you these plz dont worry about me in the morning haha seriously im just like, stressed about exams and my showcase will be soon, it’s just stuff like that! but i really am ok!

Neems: srsly super sorry ok haha last text i promise! Good night!

#story #the baes

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jooheongif · 6 years

Note

it's theory anon,hi!!how are YOU?i'm really good rn thanks:)) thank you for your kindness again,i'm really happy i could somehow help to help you feel even a tiny bit better and hope you're doing well now,too(and it's ok to not rest on your day off but it's also ok to do so if that's what you feel is right for you atm!).about the mf(ilm), i thought the same thing, it felt like a parallel universe type of story!i also really love plotlines about friendship, (again cont.i'll try to be briefer!)

(i’m so sorry i wrote a rly long reply so i’m gonna put this under read more !!)

2. friendship is beautiful and i feel oftentimes underappreciated(but not mx!there they go again being amazing) so i love the concept. personally i like not knowing what exactly the producers were thinking because having my own interpretation of something and seeing other ppl have their own fills me with wonder,like,that's art!so many people think so many different things and no one's wrong i love it!!your thoughts about them appreciating everything they've done so far,you're absolutely right(cont) 3. i hope they are able to bc everything's so hectic for the.i get lost just looking at their official schedule,i don't know how they do it but i also hope they are aware of all these things bc those are all mindblowingly huge accomplishments in my opinion and i just want them to feel like their hard work is worth it,yknow?(is this comprehensible?)and i know they feel pressure because as you said the business is nasty but yea i hope at the end of the day they can feel like (cont.???again 4. everything they've put so much of themselves into is worth it,i love their energy and fierce determination and i just don't want them to lose it but maybe as you said feel less pressured..but then the only way would realistically be to make sure they get awarded in the Real World so we're all doing our best in the system&hating it as you said:/ they just mean so much to so many people i want them to feel that too!i try to contain myself but here i go again! sorry it's so long AND i have more(con 5. also!thank you for your big reply and sharing your thoughts i mostly just agreed with (but you're right so what else can i do),i don't have mbb friends to vent to and fanperson(is there a gender neutral term for fanboy/fangirl?) over mx with and this is really nice and fulfilling(again,if i'm boring you,you can just delete the messages and not reply!) so THANKS!it's great to strive to be a better person but i feel like one(you) should also acknowledge the good things they're already doing(cont?) 6. you showed such pure kindness and really melted someone's(my) heart and that's a Big Deal!djkghddgwe can agree that we both inspired each other :') also please i feel like you're such a wonderful soul and you really deserve every bit of gratitude and appreciation i managed to express(i feel a lot moreprobably) so!yeah!reminder that you're lovely and deserve to be appreciated and i'm also very,very happy you're here!you made my day brighter for the 2nd time now wow!thanks! i hope you and(cont.:() 7. your gorgeous heart are taking good care and enjoying your day/night! and this cb!i really like it i haven't had time to listen to the entire album but jealousy!is a bop honestly it's my type of jam and the choreo is stunning and so are their voices!iwas so skeptical about the lyrics(they could've been like hero or stuck and those made me a bit >:/ honestly) but i really should've known they wouldn't fail me in any way ever!i can't wait to hear the rest of the songs i hope you enjoy them too!bye

hi theory anon, it's nice to hear from u again ! firstly, i am so sorry for the slow reply to this ! but im rly glad to know that u are doing good :-) i'm doing ok too thank u !! how are u ? kfjjfdsjfdf sorry that u had to read my tags but thank u for saying that !! i just feel so guilty when i do nothing bc im absolutely terrified of time passing too quickly ? just the thought of letting a few minutes go to waste is overwhelming ? even though i know it's not rational to think like this but ??? theres just this constant feeling that im running out of time so i try to get rid of it by always doing smth ?? and feel bad when i dont ? idk ?? but anyway im working on it and ill be ok ! sorry..not to be dramatic and tmi and all that kjdfdj istg this blog gives me too much freedom to say...too much :( (hope the internet folks that collect metadata never read the garbage i write bc..yikes they aren't gonna hav the best time) anyway..yea. what a paragraph to start off this reply :( sorry for the honesty and saying so much all the time btw :( not that being honest is necessarily a bad thing but ! idk every time i write smth i suddenly feel extra self conscious and feel like deleting it bc im rly embarrassed and always end up having big regret later when i reread anything ive typed up !! but i just keep writing them anyway bc...idk ?? i'd rly hate it if someone got discouraged from sharing their thoughts/worries/feelings which i think is a rly important human thing :( so yea im rly embarrassed w anything i write but i'll keep doing it anyway bc i'm all for that kind of stuff and sometimes i know its not easy and it takes someone a lot to share that and its a good thing and i dont ever want anyone to feel discouraged from doing that ! anyway i just felt like i rly needed to say all of this..but pls dont feel obliged to reply to this mess !! anyway back to mx ! you are right :( i also hope mx feel like what they've done is worth smth w/e their definition or standard of that is :( like.. all of the hard work they've put into being mx it certainly means so much to fans but i hope all the hard work they've put into being mx also means smth to them at the end of the day and they are happy w what they're doing and what they've achieved so far :( and yes we'd love mx to always be rewarded in the real world :( though we love them and we want to get them a win, i know that everyone has their commitments, means and different circumstances and we can only do so much :( but even if u think its just a small contribution, everything adds up and counts and i know that all mbb hav contributed in some way in helping them get another win for this cb ! there are some mbb who can't buy albums or streaming passes and things and i hope they don't feel bad for this :( even if all you can do is watch the mv once or twice, even if you could only vote, i hope you know that it all counts and matters !! abt mx's schedule, i get tired just by looking at their weekly one idk how they can even put up w it all ?? after this they'll hav their japanese album and things and then they'll have their concerts and on top of all that apparently [some of them are also studying] ????? they are so hardworking :( HOW do they do it !! just..thinking abt their schedule is overwhelming !!! also pls dont think that you're boring me or anything like that :( im so thankful for any msg i receive and the fact that u actually took the time to type out smth to send to me ?? im so grateful ?? u are never boring !! honestly even if u sent me a stainless steel dishwasher manual w the page length of like..23 bibles, i'd still love u for it and i'd prob read all of it :( btw thank u sm for saying all those kind things !!! receiving kindness for the 3rd time is rly !!!!!!! and once again i've done nothing to deserve it :( i dont even know what i can say to you that will ever be enough to thank u again or to top what u hav already said ! if there was like a...maslows hierarchy of kindness of smth, ur at the very top of that triangle and anything i say will never be as kind as what you have said !! for you, i can agree that we both inspired each other :-) but really thank u so much from the bottom of my heart :( i hope you know how kind and lovely u are too ! if nobody told u this today, i wanted to say that im rly grateful to know u and i'm happy that you're here !! thank u again for being so kind and thoughtful and for making me smile !! :( same, i havent properly listened to the whole album either bc ive just been letting it stream in the background (but i dont count that as a proper listen unless i listen w headphones tbh) ill give it a good listen one day ! also im a repeat 1 kind of garbage person until i feel the need to listen to a new song ?? and rn jealousy to me is a song that gets better w every listen ??? shes too powerful atm :( one day ill listen to another song but today is not that day ! Actually.....I think jealousy is my fav mx song ???? before this cb i didnt hav a fav bc i couldnt pick the song i liked most out of blue moon/blind/fighter/incomparable. i was just gonna base it off the one w the most play count out of those 4 but now i know its jealousy ! what are ur fav mx songs ?? btw i know im always saying that anything mx releases is always a masterpiece no matter what, but in all seriousness its ok if u didn't like smth they released. i don't think it makes u any less of a mbb if u didn't enjoy a certain release or if u only liked one aspect of a thing but not so much the rest of the thing. anyway not to sound so...stale and commonplace but for lack of a better word/sentence, at the end of the day your own reactions and feelings to a piece of art like music...it's all just subjective isnt it ?? not liking that thing doesnt mean that its not a masterpiece or its any less of a masterpiece to someone else either so !! it's ok !! anyway this is rly....ive written a lot and its all over the place and incoherent probably :( i'm sorry !! feel free to reply whenever u feel like it, or no pressure on never replying at all btw ! also feel free to disagree w anything i say ! thank u sm for talking to me abt mx bc ive also got no mbb friends so !!! thank you :( theres so many times where i rly want to start a conversation w someone but im too scared and also i've got no clue abt how to initiate conversation ! and the times when i do manage to...i get stuck on how to keep the conversation going ? but when i figure smth out then im coming for u @ friendship !! i hope u had a good weekend and that you got some rest and that ur doing ok wherever u are !! until next time, take care ❤️❤️❤️

#how did i..even end up writing so much im so sorry :-(#and sorry that this is all over the place !!#i hope i didn't go on too much of a tangent :(#ask #theory anon #Anonymous

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luisneer · 7 years

Text

selected tweets 2016-17

These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived.

I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at [email protected]. Thank you

2016

morgantown has ~48 vape shops

**morgantown has ~480 vape shops

siri has werner herzog-like inflections

considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)

think i remember ~5% of things i said today

imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'

felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar

just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'

looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed

listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show

feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth

feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes

enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')

felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair

left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm

repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway

strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones

feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at

in winchester, VA

thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'

thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name

successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell

ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college

feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues

feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours

persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me

psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'

feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class

psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes

imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'

saw a moth at open mic, thought about god

experiencing difficulty trying to smile

enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay

intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way

felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class

imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview

enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology

perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed

spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer

feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success

feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago

i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers

i dont like videos

i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible

simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance

feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets

huge power outage at shepherd lol

realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'

remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted

feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again

struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz

feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery

crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee

laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall

drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas

just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting

opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself

'camcorder' would be a good band name

i thought arnold palmer had already died

willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable

i want to stop being mean

i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf

wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service

tangled up in myself and others

twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital

eating shark

thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'

thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain

had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time

i miss being in therapy

i love carpet

i love carpet !!

just thought about my own tweets and lol'd

mood lately very fragile

this is what i get for staying up til 5 am

all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me

sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving

my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all

fuck, im feeling so much terror

gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst

the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear

interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him

what if old people have secrets

my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally

i feel guilty in general

thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago

im close friends with satan rn

feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $

from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread

finger

desk

coffee cup exterior

pajama pants

knee

carpet

chin

phone

shirt

shoe

thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"

feeling shorter, broader

the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet

is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos

the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream

i like citing things in MLA

i write essays by pretending im werner herzog

doesnt seem to be getting later

lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled

heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change

i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help

crazy how things get worse

there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset

bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed

weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn

also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number

the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about

the sunlight is obscene

im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside

im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys

i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day

yr = your ur = you're

my favorite things are pdfs

now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe

i hear him but i never see him

i love latte art, i drink many lattes

thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew

felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships

went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned

my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity

record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money

i prefer EPs

felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones

writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from

have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why

the internet isn't big enough

usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"

"uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks

feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront

the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours

i'm sad

my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today

was luis neer in odd future

thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account

becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself

thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician

imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets

how does anyone do it

in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls

everyone in the world is high except me

feel like i want to have poems published immediately

having delusions of grandeur

im sitting on my record player

my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"

prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM

my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend

all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever

watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc

my nose feels like it's going to bleed

im sad because every bf looks like me

getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue

the internet is too freaky...

i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things

im watching the angry birds movie

the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...

ive never had a new years kiss

2017

im weird

eating medicinal ice cream

im not going to do any drugs in 2017

made a medicinal phone call

i want to drink some blood

i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"

years dont kill people

feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career

i've felt stoned since i was a baby

downloading google earth

made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers

realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football

i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger

experiencing cognitive dissonance

used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally

i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs

my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"

thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting

mediocore

beyonce is cool i think

i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it

remembered that i own a pinata

i will be at awp

how could i make twitter a better place

i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend

feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems

felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones

watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center

i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day

im dumber than me

reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"

i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion

my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water

sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me

resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts

eating chicken and squash

i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow

when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical

terrified of being cool

walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones

i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung

2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport

i have 5 twitters

i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman

why doesnt anyone blog about me

thesis statements arent real

thinking about my book

i deleted both my tumblrs by accident

sad about my tumblr

my name is all over the internet

im a lizard

someday there'll be no more ppl

a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses

feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away

idk how to use venmo or what it is

present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around

when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated

the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me

on tumblr i have 4 followers

almost all of my tweets seem unimportant

feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it

ground control to commander venus

i like my new tumblr

i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one

feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life

is everything ok

i look like michael moore

#words

3 notes · View notes

chickenfetus · 7 years

Note

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ????

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general?????????

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples:

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them???????

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual.

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me.

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual.

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good?????

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

#softshouyous #asks #if anybody actually read all through all of this.... thank u.#FALEN THAKNK U FOR ASKING I LOVE U

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mm-society-women · 8 years

Note

a headcanon where MC has a really popular vlog channel, like she have 6+ million subs and MC has had the channel for 5 years, like her channel is her main job, and the rfa+v+saeran are caught watching her old videos because they wanted to see what she did and how she was back when they didn't know her. In the end they probably become part of her vlogging? Thanks! :D

Thank you for the ask! It’s really specific tho … are you a vlogger yourself? I don’t exactly know what vlogs actually are?? I’m sorry but but college is REALLY stressful for me and I don’t have time for anything. I’m gonna assume that they are targeted towards a specific audience….

Yoosung and the prankster

- Your vlogs are what shitposts would look like in video

- Always making funny comments, jokes, meme references and pranks

-You do these small skits too

-Yoosung had already seen some of your videos

-So when he first met you, he had a nagging feeling he had seen you somewhere before

-When he knew that vlogging was your profession, he just had to check it out

-He always knew you were very smart and funny but those videos were just amazing. He couldn’t believe how you wrote and acted those things out yourself

- His girlfriend was amazing, beautiful, smart and…. cue shot of you with a pencil stuck up your nose SO DAMN RIDICULOUS

- He laughed so hard he had to clutch his sides and strain to just breathe

-That;s when you walked in

- “Yoosung…. WHAT THE HECK,” you shouted. Isn;t that the correct response when your boyfriend is just rolling on the floor, laughing maniacally with tears streaming down his face?

- “MC! MC!” he said struggling to hold his breath, “Why didn’t you show these to me before!! You’re so talented and funny.” He waked over to you and kissed you on the lips.

- “You bet… I didn;t get all those subscribers for nothing,” you grin

- So you two ended up getting drunk and watching your videos all night.

- And ya’all had a deadly hangover the morning after

- But you were determined to make him appear in one of your videos.

- He did occasionally appear. Yoosung was adorable a nervous wreck in those videos and so people started requesting videos with him

- Besides it was so much fun showing off your cute boyfriend

Zen and the reviewer

- So you were the reviewer

- So smart, sophisticated and clever

- Always reviewing movies, books and sometimes even anime we are all only human, right?

- You were really clever, detail oriented and organised.

- You first did this as a hobby but since it really took off, you decided to make this your main job

- When you got home one day, you saw zen intently watching something on the laptop

- He was so engrossed in it that he didnt even seeing you coming

- “Sweetie, what are you doing ?” you asked

- “Gosh! Babe, you scared me!” he said as he clutched his chest. Drama Queen much?

- You learnt that he was actually watching your videos the entire evening

- “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BABE??” he asked, “You’re so good at this!! And you have so many subscribers!!”

- “I’m not as popular as you!!” you protested as you sat next to him. He kissed your cheek.

- He whined a little and proceeded to click the next video

- “My boyfriend Zen;s new movie is amazing,” you proclaimed in the video, “You guys should check it out. He’s such talented actor….”

- You proceeded to praise Zen in the video. Something you dare not do to his face. You;re a real tsundere… I’ll give you that

- “I mean…. you were pretty good in the movie Zen…” you gave him a little fake laugh. God… that was so embarrassing

- “ Babe…” zen said as he flung the laptop.

- Before you could protest, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you wildly.

- His hands slid under your shirt. “Why don’t we take this to the bedroom?” you suggested. He smirked.

- The beast was unleashed.

- So the first video you did with zen was such a hit! Your subscriber count went up!! And you had so many requests!! A lot of people started watching Zen’s movies too. The two of you really had such a positive impact on each others career and life

Jaehee and the coplayer

- You were a cosplayer

- Not unlike Jaehee, you were such a big fangirl too

- You cosplayed everything from anime, manga, video games to comic books

- You’ve never ever missed a convention

- Jaehee being the loving and caring wife that she is, was always the first person to watch your videos and anonymously comment good things about it and anonymously take down the bullies too

- She enjoyed watching you stitch, wear your perfect makeup and just transform yourself.

- Sometimes, when you’re in cosplay, she can barely recognise you but she never admits it

- Jaehee helped you make the vidoes. But it never struck you to make her a part of it

- But one day you had this really good idea!

-There was this really big convention coming up and what better way to introduce her to your friends???

- “Sailor Uranus and Neptune!” you proclaimed, “That’s what we should go as!”

- “I’m sorry but WE??” Jaehee dropped the cup she was holding.

- “Yes! Jaehee my darling” you did a dramatic twirl, “You must accompany me!”

- It took a lot of coaxing but she finally agreed

- And boy did you transform her

- She couldn’t believe she looked like that.

- You always caught her catching glimpses at herself in the mirror

- By God, she was cute.

- “Thank you, MC,” she smiled as she kissed you really softly on your lips.

- Your beast= unleashed.

- All throughout the convention, you took videos of your wife.

- Jaehee never knew about this

–When you finally posted the video, it was such a hit!!! People were going crazy over you and your wife! They requested a lot of videos with her.

-When Jaehee came to know about this, she blushed beet red.

- “Mc!! Stop embarrassing me like this,” she cried as she covered her face.

- Now you can finally unleash that beast in peace

Jumin and the musician

- Jumin Han is a sophisticated man

- And you;re such a sophisticated girl

- You play the violin, the piano, the flute….. name any instrument and you could play it

-You wanted to work for an orchestra but since your channel took off, you decided to make vlogging your main job

- Why not? YOu really enjoyed the freedom

- You would play anything you wanted. From complicated classical pieces to the openings of really cheesy tv shows

-You would always play something for jumin

- He preferred listen to you live than over the internet

- He really loved how your fingers moved and just how focused you were

- To him, just to see you and listen to your music was such a stress buster

- One day when Jumin found free time, he decided to check out your channel in his office

- He literally hit himself for not having seen your videos before.

- You were just as wonderful on the computer

- When you came over to give him his lunch, you were in for a shock

- Jumin was listening to an original piece by you while a drop of tear streamed down his face. He wiped it off immediately when he saw you

- “Are you one of those single tear people,” you laughed and walked over to him. Whiplash reference which jumin did not understand T_T

- “Mc…” said as he literally pounced over you. He started to kiss your neck and tried to undo your zipper.

- “Woah wait, Mr. Han! What is this about?”

- “I’m sorry Ive never seen your videos before,” he said, “You are so amazingly talented MC.”

- “If you want to make it up to me Jumin… then I know just the thing.”

- Needless to say, the great Jumin Han had to clear his schedule so that he could appear in one of your videos

- And of course your comments section was filled with different variants of “ MC ARE YOU DATING THE JUMIN HAN?”

Seven and the makeup guru

- You are the Queen. bows down to you

- Your makeup is always on point. Please teach me how to do eyebrows Y_Y

- You started doing these makeup tutorials in college

- You got really popular and thought… heck why not get paid for this

- Seven is obsessed with your videos. BOI HAS SEEN ALL OF IT

- The both of you literally stay home most of the time

- Seven loves watching you do makeup

- He gives this really cute commentary when you do it

- “AND SHE SCORES” he’d scream when youre done

- He;s actually really fashionable himself

- “ MC I think you should go with ruby woo for this”

- “Shaddup seven”

- And whenever someone makes fun of you in the comments, he has no mercy.

- YOu never knew about this. But you were pretty suspicious cause the amount of hate went down? Boi never deleted all of it, he was clever like that

- You did the ‘entire face with kids makeup challenge’ on him… while he was asleep

- He never forgave you for that….. secretly he loved it

- He tries on your makeup when you’re not there

V and the food and culture blogger

- You love travelling

-And you have this really wholesome food and culture vlog

- After all that mint eye mess, he’s not dead I promise Y_Y you guys decided to travel the world

- Your vlog was restricted to your country and ever since the world tour the subscriber count went up

- You would do these vlogs where you’d describe the scenery to V

- It was so tastefully worded

- You guys visited usual places, interacted with the most interesting people and the food…. by God it was good

- And V, being the romantic that he is, would say something once in a while that absolutely floored you

- “GOD! V, The scenery is so beautiful”

- “Is it as beautiful as you?” he’d ask as he kissed your forehead

- All in all, it became fluff overload

- V became your permanent partner in this

- You guys had so much fun doing this that it did not really feel like a job

Saeran and the gamer

- You’d do gaming vlogs….. I’ve never seen one in my entire life… and Ive only heard of pewdiepie so no hate pls

- Saeran doesnt play games…… except in the bedroom of course

- He doesnt get why you’re so obsessed

- But he still obsessively watches all your videos…. he’s a complicated boi

- He always reads ALL the comments

- Let’s just say that he’s ruined some lives

- You’ve never gotten a negative comment after he came into your life??

- You asked Saeran to stop but he’s always feigned ignorance

- You know Saeran watches your videos but he pretends he does not

- He always gives that tiny little cute smile when he watches your videos…. and you know this cause you’re a stalker like that

- Always says stupid things like “MC, I wonder what those fingers can do??”

- Aaaand you smack him on the head for it

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bugclub-archive-blog · 8 years

Note

all the questions! 💕

i love u my beautiful angel

1: What are you wearing?

black shirt black jjoggers my new opal necklace that i keep talking about because im so excited 2: Ever been in love?

just the one time3: Ever had a terrible breakup?

i thought it was terrible at the time but truly it was one of the best things to ever happen to me4: How tall are you?

5 foot 45: How much do you weigh?

it fluctuates between 110-120 i think im probably right in the middle of the two these days6: Any tattoos do you want?

yes somany of course and i have one that i might get in the next few days its very pretty but tbh my ideas have been stolen before so ......ive already said too much7: Any piercings that you want?

every once ina while i get really excited for certain piercings but it always dies out relatively quickly so im gonna have to say no8: OTP?

me and emilio, pete and erin on the office, my old friend brennas mom and stepdad9: Favorite Show?

30 rock or the office or workaholics10: Favorite bands?

twin peaks, the beatles11: Something you miss?

sunshine! fuck! where is my guy The Sun12: Favorite song?

currently it might be baby its you by the shirelles or maybe the cover by thebeatles theyre both on my january playlist. also come and get your love by redbone. also 100% by sonic youth and a live acoustic version of wasted and ready by ben kweller are my all time favorites13: How old are you?

19 and my birthday is in march which is so soon and im excited14: Zodiac sign?

aries 15: Hair Color?

dark brown and as of late the ends are blonde and caramel16: Favorite Quote?

i cant complain but sometimes i still do - joe walsh (its been stuck inmy head for like twelve yearsi dont have a better answer)17: Favorite singer?

hmm.......hard to say....clay frankel 18: Favorite color?

green19: Loud music or soft?

loud20: Where do you go when you're sad?

st joe michigan my second home. i like to go to all my secret spots and reminisce. i like driving north thru buchanan on sunny days and looking at all the cottages in wine country21: How long does it take you to shower?

10-15 mins22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

0 mins all i do is roll out of bed and put clothes on 23: Ever been in a physical fight?

yes and really this is a good time to remind all that i will fuck you up.24: Turn on?

no lie when i see emilio genuinely happy like big smiles and giggles it always gets me25: Turn off?

hmm..not that this is relevant now but seriously the most disgusting thing a boy can do is come into your job or something and hit on you. it use to only happen at like the gas station or something like that but now that i spend so much time alone in the store it happens so much more often. honestly even when i have coworkers around guys still do that shit, fuck that!26: The reason I joined Tumblr?

i had a tumblr in like 2009-2010 but i cant remember why. but i deleted that in 2011 and made a new one a year later and no lie the reason i rejoined was because i saw a gif and i was like damn thats dope, where else can you see gifs except tumblr, now all websites have gifs and im fucking trapped27: Fears?

i dont have any. i use to be scared of puppets and the dark but now i just dont care!28: Last thing that made you cry?

straight up the last time i cried was when i was reading some comments on a youtube video of bob segers “still the same”. this guy was commenting on it about how the song reminds him of his late best friend and he said he missed him everyday and i fucking lost it for this old man and his friend. i cried about that comment a few days after the fact jus thinking about it. im not embarrassed. i love love.29: Last time you cried?

that was probably all about a week ago or something30: Meaning behind your url

i was talking with someone years ago who i was friends w on here and we were talking about our dream homes and i said i wanted a room for eveyr animal and species and one would be filled with beetles called bug club and now ehre i am31: Last book you read?

probably the great gatsby years ago. i wish i had motivation to read32: Last song you listened to?

come and get your love! 33: Last show you watched?

im watching the office as we speak34: Last person you talked to?

emilio irl, hailey via text35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

i love that bitch she comes to my work with gifts sometimes. for any of you who follow my ig, those little potted plants im growing were gifts from her 36: Favorite food?

beef jerky damnnear37: Place you want to visit?

ireland so bad as of late. the UP as of forever. oregon. i really am hoping we can take a trip to go visit connor in colorado sometime and id really love to go to germany38: Last place you were?

dominos pizza39: Do you have a crush?

yes.....40: Last time you kissed someone?

a lil bit ago41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?

hmm... i think it was probably someone trying to tell ME that MY BOYFRIEND is shitty, but does it count if i didnt actually care? i think the last thing i actually got heated about was my creepy coworker trying to fry me for being addicted to my phone because i used my phone in front of him42: What color underwear are you wearing?

nudish pink43: What color shirt are you wearing?

black44: What color bottoms are you wearing?

black45: Wearing any bracelets?

no46: Last sport you played?

last february or march or something me and some of my st joe friends played catch in the dark for a little bit....thats as close as it gets besides going back to middle school47: Last song you sang?

probably never be like you tbh i cant stop listening to that song, first time i ever heard this song adam was playing it and i remember asking tony what it was and if i remember right he did not like the song and so he fried me 48: Last prank call you remember doing?

the only one i can remember is one time in seventh or eighth grade my friend brooke invited me to her birthday party and like we had hung out before a lot she was one of my best friends but she was always really quiet and shy but we calld this boy that our friend heather liked and she straight up impersonated alvin from alvin and the chipmunks better than anyone besides alvin ever could and it was so shocking and so fucking funny at the time49: Last time you hung out with anyone?

me and mikaila went on a few drives earlier in the week 50: Favorite movie

i dont even know anymore. damn near waynes world or some shit. my life is in shambles.

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drunkenough2write · 4 years

Text

Sober at 8:58 am

Ive started to numb everything out, push everyone else thats left away. I havent talked to Kaylee in about two months, or the guys in a few days, ive been avoiding anish and Molly and you and i obviously havent talk in a while. I had a moment yesterday i was doing ...something... and i started thinking about you, i let that numb thing go for a minute and i just kept saying “i love you Michael” over and over and i dont know what im doing. i dont know if i want you because im bored with him or because youre the one im supposed to spend the rest of my life with. i dont know if you and i are good for eachother or if we just romanicize the fuck out of eachother to the point weve tricked our minds into believing that we belong together, i dont know if those late nights spent in your arms, or those car rides with our fingers intertwined and the windows down meant nothing or meant everything. ive spent endless hours closing my eyes just so that i can picture your face, i have a hundred pictures of you i cant convince myself to delete. Everything makes me think of you, music and movies and people on social media, i think about what youd do when im scream singing in my car, windows down and crazy hair and music i havent listened too since middleschool, i think about you standing behind me in the shower and laying next to me in bed, i think about you shooting me looks across the isles of grocery stores and gas stations, i think about you picking at your nails and the warts on your fingers while i drive and roll my eyes at you, i think about you when i get high, how you get so paranoid, how you get a look in your eye like youre all alone and the worlds a stimulation trying to break you down and invade your inner thoughts and you look at me and i wonder if you trust me and i just want to wrap you in my arms and kiss your face and let you know that i got you no matter what. I dream about you, your long hair and jaw line, lanky body and strong arms, i dream about you walking in and the rest of the world falling away, you being all that i see and all that i know and nothing else in the world mattering even the smallest bit. Im scared Bugs, im scared of losing you, im scared of losing me, im scared that he will come back and i will pick him and one day ill wake up from yet another Michael dream and think “what the fuck am i doing?” but be so deep into it that theres nothing i can do, and im scared ill pick him and one day he will stop picking me and im scared that i cant love anyone. I spent years being the girl a guy could love, i perfected it, manipulated every boy i met into becoming obsessed with me, tricking their minds to the point i was all they thought about and i never got caught, i played boy after boy perfecting my actions and it worked. Ramon was so invested i didnt even notice, all his friends knew about me, he told them he was falling in love with me and all i thought about at the time was how he had a weird sex face and it didnt feel serious, then there was London, the boy who flirted with me in highschool and told me i was going to marry him and then years later told me i was ugly in highschool, so i convinced him nobody could understand him like i did, i let him be a douche bag, and make every possible stupid mistake he could and told him that he was amazing regardless, i supported all of his dreams even though i thought they were dumb and far far out of reach all while entertaining others. At the same time i was sleeping with two frat guys in different frats that hated eachother and i made them both believe they were the hottest guys id ever seen and the best lays any girl could have all the while one looked like hed never stepped outside and was not packin and the other had a nice body but a jew nose and lasted like 4 minutes everytime, and they both faded out eventually. Then i reconnected with Reese and unfortunately he had been in the game longer and saw past the face i put on, he reached into my heart and plucked at the parts he knew would give him a safe place and i fell for it. i became his escape from home and work, he would come over at 3 am after work and slip into my bed and play his music and we’d fall asleep and id wake in the morning and leave for class and come back to him leaving, There was one night i was convinced he had real feelings for me. he was hanging with preston and their friend ethan who had moved out of state and came to visit, Preston went to ASU and lived in dorms near mine. They went to a strip club and then got super drunk and went back to prestons room, Reese called me and let me know he was still coming over at about midnight and Preston stole his phone saying he wouldnt make it and i just laughed at them and said id be up for a while if he changed his mind, even though i was so tired i couldve slept for an unholy amount of hours. i got a few snapchats from his snap that preston took of reese’s head in the toilet and figured he wouldnt be coming over, but i stayed up for a little while and then i got a call at 5 am he slurred his words trying to tell me he was coming and that he was lost but escaped Prestons room, Preston and ethan eventually found him and got on the phone trying to figure out where i lived, i told them and came out to meet them, Sophmore year of highschool i had a class with both Reese and Preston but i dont think either of them knew i had existed at the time. when i walked out they all looked at me and Reese looked so sad, red eyes and tears on his cheeks, he almost tripped over his own feet into my arms, i hugged him and looked back at his friends, they told me to take care of him, i smiled and took him back to my room. i put his stuff in the closet and helped him change and he followed me into bed, his arms around me (something he never did) and he cried, told me i was all he cared about, said all these things and passed out and for the first time since meeting him i felt like he wanted me for me, but i was wrong, i was a safe spot, a hidden island where he could get away from the rest of the world and eventually he met someone else. then on new years i got a snapchat from kaylees younger sister asking if it would be okay if she gave my snap to her cousin ransom whom i had only met a few times, i said sure and his first snap said he was gonna make me his. i laughed, i liked when guys were forward, unfortunately that was one of the only things i liked about him, over the next month i played with him, careful not to break him entirely, he tried to get me to take his virginity and him being the mormon cousin to my childhood mormon best friend i knew i couldnt and then one day i got a snap from some guy i met on tinder, his name was Alex Decker, he hyped me up on snap all the time and i was on shrooms so i responded, asked why he was always nice to me he said “why not?” we talked a little and eventually i invited him over we hung with my friends, i got free tickets to a suns game and we all went and we took our first selfie and i didnt pull my tricks, because he wasnt like every other guy that walked my way and stuck their tongue down my throat after talking to me for 15 minutes we hung out probably 7 times before he kissed me, i had convinced myself he was gay or just not interested and let down my gaurd, we were watching Game of Thrones, the Episode where you learn about Horridor and the reason behind his name, and i started crying and he made a joke and i punched his arm out of sadness and he kissed me, it moved pretty fast after that, he asked me to be his girlfriend on Valentines day, 12:04 am - we decided to say it was the 13th instead, didnt want to be cheesy, he brought me roses the next day and we dated for a while, i pushed and pulled every day, pushed him away only to ask him to come back hours later, i was a bad girlfriend, a bad friend, and when i ended things i was more scared of losing his family then him. I went to California for spring break and he spent the night before i left and he found my stash on notebooks and read everything, went through my poetry books and found which ones i dedicated to other boys and other loves and he went crazy, he read every secret and every lie and he told me living in my head was the worst place to live and he sent me pictures of everything that made him mad and he spent 9 hours in my room going through everything and i was so angry i redownloaded tinder, figuring id end things when i got home and then came Remmington. When i got back to Arizona we threw a party at my house and a bunch of people came over, he had written me a letter and got so drunk he let Colden read it to the room, it was horrible, i got obnoxiously drunk and ended up blacking out and then passing out on the bathroom floor and Alex took care of me all night. i was going to therapy at the time and one day on the day before my therapy day i had a huge art project due and had to pull an all nighter after pulling one the night before and he told me he would stay over and help me and we would take shifts and he’d shade stuff while i slept and id do whatever else i needed to do and i said that that was fine, when it was my turn to sleep i fell fast asleep and woke up to him sitting next to me on the bed crying, confused i got up and hugged him and he started rambling about how he couldnt do it and just losing his shit, he wasnt making any sense so i got him water and made him lay down and once he fell asleep i got up and did the rest of my project until 10 am the next day i went to class and then alex gave me a ride to therapy and picked me up after, he took me to my favorite restaurant in arizona and then we went to the batting cages and a few days later i ended things and he still stuck around for a while, even while i was talking to remmington, then i found out about the STD stuff and remington made me feel like trash and got a bunch of his friends to bag on me too. after that i dropped everyone, i didnt care, i took londons virginity and i didnt care about anything else and Molly and i started hanging out more and more and then one day i drove past the gilbert temple and parked in front of a house across the street from the mormon church and a lanky boy in a white sweatshirt and a dad hat hopped in the car with molly and i and i was a total bitch to him until we stopped to eat and he said his dad worked on heavy equipment and molly got distracted and i thought this boy was 20 and he was 17 and my heart swooned. that was the day i met you. You surprised the hell out of me. everytime i talked to you all the games and tricks and all the bullshit id been using stopped existing and i had butterflies and lost words and a smile i couldnt get rid of. and boy was it a whirlwind. and the world started and ended and spiraled and now we are here. wheres here? i have no fucking idea. all i know is that i want someone to see me, see my crazy and my annoying and my insecurities and see everything good and bad and love me, and for the past year ive met 3 boys that do and in my luck ive found so much heartache and so much dissapointment. because M i dont deserve any of you and if i could cut myself in half and give all my love to each of you i would, but i cant. and what do i do when you wake up and realize i was only worth the chase? what happens when its finally us and im not everything you figured i would be? and life isnt everything you thought it would be with me? what then?

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