#AGHHGH why cant be normal
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gets scared
#gets scared#also i was going to do that // post thing and only talk in the tags but then changed my mind last second but when i tried to#delete the // i didnt and it said //gets scared which . with me listening to music i mainly listened to in 2016 right now (my old playlist)#and with how thats how i used to talk to in a way signify shyness almost like a text version of hiding my face or looking away or talking#quietly. i would put //////and then say what i was going to say#////orsometimesiwouldntusespacestosignifyitevenmore#and the like . double callback to 2016 like . just made my 'gets scared' even MORE gets scared#esp because right nowim feeling really paranoid#i feel like borderline like a germaphobe except not about GERMS exactly. just about general dirt and grime. not germs in particular#because there was a lot of gross dirt grime dust on my floor near my bed and while i was cleaning that i just saw how much mmore#dirtgrimedust whatever was literally everywhere else and how it couldnt be cleaned in some places (hard to reach or totally#inaccessible) and it made me spiral so bad and im still like reeling from the spiral#and so the already weakened state PLUS the double like borderline deja vu callback making me feel like extra out of it and disconnected#from reality and its just#AGHHGH why cant be normal
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