#delete later I’m just mad at the general public again

[gibblegabber]

fictional characters are fictional

did you know this???

they’re not real. so it’s ok to be a lil weird abt them

please fucking shut up I’m going to lose my mind

[comeandreadawhile]

Clone Social Media : Hobbies

The phenomenon starts with the intention to show the civilians of the Republic the men behind the armor, as well as an encouragement for the men to do the things they enjoy when they have the time to in lieu of sitting around cleaning weapons for a third time that day.

Scratch that—the phenomenon starts with High General Kenobi, on a rare day of leave, teaching his Marshal Commander how to bake. Said Commander’s men were happy to taste test the flurry of experimental confections that pervaded their leave days in the following months. News spread fast of Marshal Commander Cody having a knack for baking, and so followed the spread of troopers attempting to make their own treats and/or branching off into other things the civilians called “hobbies” whenever what they could get their hands on afforded them.

The phenomenon kicked off when Padawan Commander Tano began a social media account with the intention of using it as a public diary, her first post was a picture taken of some of the 501st—with permission, her caption says—as they went about retouching paint scuffed in their most recent battle. The men are relaxed, some with paint smeared on their hands and cheeks and seemingly reacting to some joke or story told outside the threshold of the camera, and it’s an almost startling difference from the image of rigid lines of men, faceless in their full kits of white plastoid, that the civilians are used to. Tano’s second post is a video clip of one Captain Rex, with one General Skywalker sitting on his back counting reps, doing push-ups; the video was captioned “Another day in the G.A.R., restless in hyperspace.”

The digital diary continues from there, videos and pictures of specific locations posted only after reaching a safe distance to do so, never sharing anything mission critical—past, current, or hypothetical future. Eventually she shows the men under her how to make their own accounts, and other Jedi and their own troops follow suit. The 212th then takes it upon themselves to post pictures of the little cakes their Marshal Commander has gotten so proficient at making, and, when General Kenobi creates a joint account titled “command_212”, convince Cody to post pictures of things he bakes before they are distributed—even in the process of baking, if the fancy strikes him.

So Marshal Commander Cody shares pictures of his experiments, of recipes he finds that turned out well, of recipes that didn’t because of some error or other that he’s determined to give another go, with the occasional cryptid picture of General Kenobi taking his tea in the barrack’s kitchen. As time goes on those pictures shift to Obi-Wan covered in flour, or a shot taken from several feet away of Cody sneaking batter captioned “caught red-handed in the red velvet”.

As Marshal Commander of the 212th has taken to baking to relieve stress, the Commander of the 104th has turned to needlecraft and yarnwork.

The 104th retaliate the populatrity of the 212th’s command account with the domesticity of their own, despite the vaguely threatening possibilities of knitting and sewing needles. Boost and Sinker run the majority of the account, although all OG members of the 104th have access to it; they post pictures of the things Wolffe makes them, of General Plo covered in the lengths of scarves he’s received, of Comet in the ever-growing swath the gifted blankets with the current tally in the caption (his toes were off the floor by blanket burrito 6). The holonet at large loves Plo almost as much as his men, and once a week they post him saying some piece of sage wisdom—or utter nonsense, as the mood strikes—as the war goes on. After months of asking for a face reveal and requests for the patterns people are sure Wolffe uses, they make the most Force-forsaken tutorial videos as an all-in-one series.

“HOLY **** HE’S CASTING ON 12 TO START—“ “WHAT A MAD MAN!”

“So when you get to this row here you’re going to knit 3, purl 3–“ “TRANSCENDENT!” “—yes, thank you, and then keep doing that until you reach the end of the row...”

“Oh, OH MAN HE’S GONNA DO IT!” “HE’S GONNA CHANGE COLORS!” “Holy **** man he’s gonNA YOOOOOOOOOO!”

Cody is then issued a challenge by the holonet to learn to knit. He learns to crochet. Because Obi-Wan knows how to crochet. The holonet loves video snippets of them progressing on projects together. They also love the videos Ahsoka posts of Cody attempting to teach Rex, and praise the absolutely completely unrelated hat she later posts a picture of; it covers her Montrals with enough room for a few years’ growth. Anakin gets yarn stuck in his mechanical hand because he forgot to put his glove on before attempting to craft.

The real throwdown happens when the account for the Coruscant Guard posts videos of Fox aggressively tatting while venting about the lack of funding for proper security and surveillance tech.

Each posts sees a comical increase in the surfaces covered in lace doilies and runners, as well as a new topic for Fox’s venting.

A picture of an pillow embroidered with “Kriff the Seppies” is briefly posted to the 104th’s account before being taken down and replaced with a censor bar. Rumors begin to circulate when Senator Chuchi posts a picture wearing a gifted lace shawl; Senator Amidala comments on her confusion being resolved as to why Riyo kept bringing little baskets of crochet thread with her before a senate meetings.

A competition for ship nose art starts up, many votes going to the 501st, and the holonet’s heart once again melting at “Plo’s Bros”. Personal art begins popping up soon after. Fives starts posting spray paint tutorials, Rex and Hardcase become popular for clean graphic art. Bly gets his hands on metallic paint and the crowds go wild. Kix has taken his clean haircut game to the next level.

And then Colt and Shaak Ti make an account to post art the Littles make, most of them representations of their older brothers with wishes of safety and good luck, and of the only Jedi they’ve ever known, sometimes creatures they studied in their preparation for worlds outside of Kamino. Of batches passing their final tests with a congratulatory post.

Suggestions and instructions are sent out for clones who want to take and sell commissions, allowing them to finally make some money; most Jedi are more than happy to help make sure the finished work mails out properly to the buyers.

Ships of the non-nose art kind surface on the holonet. It’s generally agreed upon that command_212 is run by husbands, and Aayla is the protector of the 327th and Bly’s heart, even if she’s a clumsy menace around his artwork (caf spilled over a drying watercolor can be interesting or terrible depending on the circumstance). No one can agree whether Skywalker is married to his captain or Senator Amidala, but everyone agrees that Ahsoka is their baby. The holonet declares Plo to have Big Dad Energy. Shaak Ti’s Big Mom Energy is a friendly rival. The Jedi council has made no official statement denying or denouncing these attachments.

Public interest begins to shift from producing more soldiers to making sure the ones the Republic has stay alive, when the realization hits that within a couple of years the children posting art and losing teeth would probably be losing blood and brothers on some far away planet. Of making sure the men are eating well instead of just surviving. Well certain account-holders don’t post for a while, grieving a loss, posting again to reassure their followers they’re alright, the public questions what’s being done to keep the men emotionally and mentally well outside of the hobbies the public knows them for. “Born to handle any stress” is very much the wrong answer.

Pressure is put on the Chancellor to let the Separatists sucede, no one quite sure anymore why allowing them to would be harmful when at worst new trade agreements would need to be brokered; if they want to leave so badly, let them. And let the men have their hobbies.

(Sad thoughts ahead)

Sometimes commissioners never receive their orders, simply a refund with a letter from that clone’s Jedi after the latest battle ends. Any money they’d made would be split however their closest brothers decide.

The channel that always posts pranks and spray paint tutorials makes a post saying they’d be away to look after their sick little brother. It’s the last post they make.

The Coruscant Guard’s account stops posting a few nights later.

After Order 66 goes out, a new account goes up posting any pictures and cute videos of Aayla. Reposting old ones that the public is sure they’d seen somewhere before, posting new ones of funny faces and ridiculous videos of silly dances. The last one is the only one captioned, “she wasn’t a traitor.”

The account is deleted the same night, and the one of the 327th’s adventures never posts again.

Wolfpack_104 does not post, but is still there.

Command_212 is deleted almost immediately the night of the order.

Years go by, almost sixteen, and only after Vader already knows she’s alive does Ahsoka post again. It’s a picture of her, and Rex and Wolffe onboard the Ghost in hyperspace captioned “Was never a traitor. Always the little sister even if I’m four years older. In case you’re wondering, Rex still draws and Wolffe still knits when we can nab the string and flimsi.”

[historicity-was-already-taken]

ETA (abt an hour later): Posting this functioned as a bit of a release, and now I’m doing some more work on the book until I can fall asleep again. Allowing myself to have this release was kind of freeing, and put me back in a place where I feel like I have some agency in my own life. I’m keeping this up for now because I don’t want to just throw trauma feels at you, make you deal, and then delete. I most likely will take it down later because, big “she was born in the 80s she uses tumblr like lj” vibes, but it’s fine for now. 

I dunno y’all. There was another mass shooting in the US today, and news that fascists in Missouri are making lists of “woke” figures and institutions.

I’m scared af, and if I take down huge chunks of this blog, it’s because I’m scared, and because I refuse to be on the list of intellectuals and leftists to murder come the Revolution. Then again, I’m a Known Jew so come the Revolution I’m still fucked.

Before you ask: no, I’m not okay. I don’t know any historians who are ok right now. Most of us are deeply depressed and generally feeling hopeless. 

After six years of trying to compartmentalize the state of the USA and the world in a manner which would still allow me to like...function, I am struggling to continue to do so. I doubt that any of my publication hopes/dreams will come to fruition with the path the US is on, and I’m terrified that we’re on the precipice of World War 3. I’m severely anxious right now, and I’m partially afraid to even leave the house lest I get shot on the subway or at work. And inflation and COL have spiked so intensely that I can barely make rent without overdrawing my bank account. 

Lately I think the cracks have been showing, especially with my nihilistic humans are monsters Chidi marshmallow chili freakouts. (Some bitch called me an eco-fascist edgelord the other day and I’m still mad, even though I can see where maybe the vibes came through). 

I don’t want or need sympathy, because I think a lot of us are in this boat. I never thought I’d be 33, watching the rise of fascism, living in a studio apartment, and struggling financially with a full time culturally prestigious job and two Masters degrees. And that’s just standard UMC millennial rage/betrayal shit.

But YEAH here we are. I’m not ok, and you’re probably not either. I don’t know what the solution is. But I DO know, that I will not be fucking executed when it comes time to round up the intelligentsia. 

[floralovebot]

I'd love to read more about what you think about how often they get in trouble! And since you said Riven would get flack for Musa's songs, do you think he'd get flack for having dated Darcy?

FUCK YEAH DUDE

Fair warning, this is a bit long!

So, for the Winx, I said that most to least likely to get in trouble was Musa, Stella - Bloom, Flora, Tecna, and then Aisha. And for the Specialists, I said Riven, Sky, Brandon, Helia, and then Timmy. Again, I do think who's the most hated greatly depends on the planet and culture, so how often they get into trouble also depends on this (for instance, Stella having a more laid back approach to certain things may get her in trouble on Zenith, but not on Solaria).

Musa: The classic problematic. It's not that she's a bad person, she's just in the news a lot. Sometimes it's about another heartbreak song, sometimes it's about a fight she had with Riven in public, sometimes it's about her dry humor and sarcasm being interpreted as mean, and other times it's about some vague tweet she wrote and never deleted. She advocates for a lot of good stuff and definitely uses her platform to try and change things so she's not the worst celebrity out there, but she also tends to speak before she knows everything and that can occasionally be a problem. She fiercely defends the others when they get into trouble and constantly vagues "news sources" (aka drama sites) so people still view her as a little negative by proxy. (Also, some people think her being a fairy of music gave her an unfair advantage in the music industry and that she isn't actually talented.)

Stella - Bloom: I'm putting them on the same level because I think they're both fairly similar in how often they get into drama. As princesses who often get involved in things, their every movement is under scrutiny. Stella handles it a lot better than Bloom due to her media training and being watched since she was young.

Bloom usually tries to stay out of the negative spotlight but that often makes her seem avoidant of important issues. She does speak up about things but it's usually after days of editing and rewriting her words so she gets accused of only talking about something because people wanted her to. She also tends to get nervous answering anything about politics or Domino so that makes people reluctant to listen to her words. Then there's the obvious drama with Sky. While they aren't as public as Rivusa, things get out quickly and when they're in a heated moment they tend to forget about their surroundings. People from Eraklyon tend to hate both of them because Bloom is "too loud and angry and just being rude" and Sky is "forgetting his place and rising to the challenge, not a great sign for a future king". On the flip side, Bloom has saved the magical universe multiple times and continues to do so. Basically, she's one of those celebrities that you either really love or really hate.

Stella is another classic problematic! Again, it's not that she's a bad person, she just gets noticed a lot. People accuse her of being classist and ignorant just because she's royalty. They also hate whenever she spends a lot of money on things like clothing and makeup because it's seen as a wasted expense (since most of her money pre-S3 was coming from her parents). People absolutely see her as a spoiled brat that can't read the room and doesn't deserve to be queen. Stella often tries to prove those ideas wrong in very subtle ways because she knows outright denying them would only further the problem. But just like the others, she spends a lot of time advocating for the good and for the better. She also cares deeply about her friends and it's obvious to everyone, even the people that hate her. So while she is in the news a lot, most people can see through it and support her. But she does still get into trouble for her shopping sprees. Her spending a lot of money on things is largely why people sometimes have trouble being on her side. It's almost always seen as a spoiled princess move and a large factor in why people think she's classist and/or ignorant.

Flora: Flora is interesting because a lot of people initially assume that because she's a very shy and nice girl that she won't get into any drama. So it's a complete surprise when she argues with people online and starts calling people out. She's often fighting for the right thing and she rarely gets her facts wrong, but people hate getting called out and they hate it when someone they think should be quiet and nice goes to town on their ass. Even the people that agree with her often think she's too aggressive in her replies (while others think her tone is fine). Flora also isn't extremely open about her personal life outside of fighting crime with the Winx so that doubles her online persona as being just mean and "too political". People say that she should just stick to watering plants and leave the politics to the actual politicians. She responds by calling them hypocrites since they were just asking for celebrities to use their platforms. She gets called out for thinking she's a celebrity. She responds that she has a large platform and people follow her for her work. It's just a constant cycle and she never runs out of things to say (which isn't bad, but it always gets her into trouble). Tbh, I can also see the exact opposite where Flora just doesn't get involved in anything because she's too busy posting pictures of her plants and random dogs she sees but, I think eventually the need to defend her friends would win out and once she gets a little taste of activism, she wouldn't stand down (yknow how she constantly berates the Winx for wanting to attack the controlled animals? Basically like that. She has very strong moral opinions).

Tecna: I had some trouble with this because I almost wanted to put her last but overall I think her general personality would get her into trouble more than what happens with Aisha. Tecna is often blunt and she doesn't necessarily hide when she doesn't like something. So sometimes reporters will come up to her and ask her a question and she'll just hit them with an "I don't want to talk to you." and then walks away. Tecna doesn't see anything wrong with this because she views being honest to the media as relatively important as they could easily find out if she's lying through spying and technology. Overall, people just see her as a little too honest and she gets into trouble a lot with being open about not wanting to interact with fans a lot or being cautious about press.

Aisha: It's a bit surprising that a princess is the last on the list no? Andros has a very good handle on things like media and press, and while they definitely aren't controlling it by any means, most news sites know not to mess with them. They're very strict on things like personal boundaries and privacy and try to protect anyone who could be affected by the media (celebrities, online personas, royals, athletes, etc). Aisha also has the best media training out of all the Winx and is really good at knowing what to say and what to share. People know just enough about her social life through sns that they aren't constantly asking about it but not enough to try and cancel her for anything. She's almost seen as the goody-goody of the bunch since she just doesn't get into a lot of drama (and when she does it's handled extremely well).

Now the Specialists!

Riven: It's no surprise that he's first I mean cmon. With Musa being the most "problematic" of the Winx, Riven is bound to get his fair share of scrutiny. People absolutely judge him for having a past with Darcy. Although... I really don't think it would be the biggest factor. While he did genuinely like Darcy, she used magic on him multiple times to manipulate his thoughts and then later betrayed him. Riven wouldn't want to put unnecessary hate on all witches, but he'd also be mad enough to eventually allude to what actually happened (he'd never outright say it since it also hurts his pride). Most people accept that he got manipulated by Darcy and assume that the entirety of the relationship was based on that, which Riven doesn't like either, but trying to defend her wouldn't exactly help his case. On the other hand, the relationship he does get hated for is his relationship with Musa. Musa definitely shares the good and cute stories about them too, but her sad/angry heartbreak songs are always the ones that get remembered. People assume he's a lot worse than he actually is and whenever Musa or one of the others tries to defend him, they just assume Riven manipulated them into doing that. However, after S4, people get a lot more understanding of the relationship and there isn't as much hate towards him (he does still get called out for being a bit brutish though).

Sky: I almost put Sky as first, but then I remembered he's royalty and definitely has a PR team. Still, he gets into a lot of drama. The Diaspro/Bloom situation was blown out of proportion and every news site was reporting completely different things. To some, Sky is a dirty cheater that lied to his wife and got some random girlfriend, "who knows how many other girls he's talking to! Someone get his phone records with Stella". To others, Sky and Diaspro were happily engaged before homewrecker Bloom came in. And to others, Sky was just the prince trying to protect his identity and got wrapped into some catfight. No one knows what actually happened with them but a lot of people start to assume Diaspro was in the wrong once it's confirmed Sky is officially dating Bloom. They start actively hating her when she tries to magic her way into a relationship with him. And that's just the relationship stuff! Erakylon's politics are so weak and absolutely crumbling before our eyes. Sky would constantly get asked about specific things to try and break him and it doesn't help that the media sites from the other royal characters are the ones doing it.

Brandon: Is this ranking a bit surprising? Idk? But anyway, Brandon would literally just get hated by proxy. Most of his "drama" includes what's happening with Sky and/or Stella. If one of them is getting into trouble, then people are bringing him into it for absolutely no reason. Brandon knows more about Eraklyon and Solaria's political climates than he will ever need to know. While he doesn't have as much media training as Sky, he does have to follow some rules just so Sky doesn't get into trouble for what he says. That means he can't speak up about as many issues and he certainly can't constantly defend his friends from harsh words. He tries to get away with it by liking comments instead of making his own. It helps a little.

Helia: Helia gets into the same exact trouble that he gets into with the Winx fandom. He's quiet and he shares absolutely nothing about his personal life. He's an artist but he doesn't post about it nor does he talk about it. He avoids talking to the press and when he does its always vague answers that could mean anything. Helia cares a lot about Saladin and Red Fountain's image and we know that what he does affects said image. So he treads very carefully and doesn't involve himself in anything. However, this is largely what gets him into trouble. People hate that he's not open about anything and some even go to the extreme of thinking he's suspicious. While Saladin's legacy largely protects him from this, it doesn't protect him from the media and random people constantly asking about his personal life. Helia also rarely if ever defends the others online (1. as he almost never looks at it and 2. because he doesn't want to get involved). He comforts them and gives advice to their face but no one else sees that so people often call him things like "pretentious, two-faced, avoidant, etc". People are also weirdly suspicious about his relationship with Flora because "it can't be that good right? there's definitely something suspicious about them".

Timmy: Timmy's just a genuinely nice guy that rarely gets into trouble. He chooses his battles (so to speak) very wisely so when he does defend the others online, it's almost always something a majority of people will agree with. Almost all of his social media is about the latest in technology and gaming so he's pretty big in those crowds but most media sites can't really do anything with that. Sometimes people from Zenith see him as weird but they recognize that he's a good match for Tecna so they're okay with him. By the time all of the Specialists are truly in the spotlight, he's already gotten buffer and more confident so those issues from S1 wouldn't be a huge deal either. The others also speak highly of him so no one really doubts that he's a good specialist. For the most part, he just doesn't get into trouble and when he does it's always connected to someone else rather than something he alone said/did.

[everlarkficquestions]

Sunday Stumped Day 35

It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!

Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on. 

In this round, we are focusing on asks for specific stories.   If your ask for a more general “type of” story is not included, it does not mean we are ignoring it, it just means we need more time to research and answer these asks. 

If  you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/  ask/  with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks.  Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.

Thanks!

Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26,  Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , Post 30, Post 31, Post 32, Post 33 and Post 34 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.

576.  Anonymous said to everlarkficquestions:  Hi, I am searching everlarkfic that I read couple years ago in ff.net. Post mockingjay, Katniss and Peeta are getting married then when they’ll rebuild Peeta's family bakery, peeta got collapse and they find out that he was dying. In the end peeta died. Annie and Katniss's mother had to move Katniss to district 4 to taking care of her. In district 4, Katniss met with gale and they were slowly building relationships from there?

577. its-hopeless-romantic said to everlarkficquestions: Hey,I am looking for fic in which Peeta is Katniss's college professor (he is 10 years older than her) and they fall in love. He is teaching history of art and I remember he invited her to the opening of his galery. I remembre that he goes to Italy to teach for a few months and before that he introduces her to his family. I think it has 2 long chapters in second one there is his proposal. (It's called Lessons in Love or something like, but I can't find it)thanks 💕💕💕

578. alwayseverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Looking for a in Panem fic (I think no games) , where Peeta is working in the mines and an accident happens and Katniss is looking for him thinking he’s dead , but Gale thinks she wa s looking for him instead and when he realizes , he’s mad at Katniss.I am not sure if this is one fic... or if I’m mixing two different fics...Thansk!

579. stonyspideypool said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a fanfic were I think katniss wants peeta to take control/be more dominant so she calls johanna and johanna tells her that peeta would never force himself on her and he has dealt with so much blue balls over the years that he's used to it or something (lmao) sorry that's all I remember 😅😅Love the page btw💙❤ literally its the only reason I'm on tumblr, thank you💕

580. amesielee said to everlarkficquestions:Hi I'm looking for a fanfic. It's either a one shot 2 shot or 3 shot and it's about Peeta and Katniss having sex. It's their first time and once it's over Peeta grabs a wash cloth for Katniss to help her out. She then gets mad and assumes he has done it before with Delly. I think Peeta didn't know it was her first time. And Peeta says maybe we are just good together. He then asks if she loves him. It's on Tumblr. I hope you can help xx

581. booksandeverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi there! Another story I remember reading but can’t think of the title. I know Leeta is older then Katniss. Peeta knew Katniss’ Parents and is their age. Katniss likes Peeta and Peeta keeps telling her he’s too old for her but she doesn’t care. They start to date and Katniss dad finds out before they can tell and eggs mad. I think Peeta also gets hurt protecting Katniss and how she reacts makes her dad see they are serious. Thanks so much for the help

582. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions:Trying to find a fic...modern au where katniss is with her friends (Annie Johanna Finnick Gale madge....) at a party and they find her the next morning in bed with Peeta?

(582) This could be I Dare You (To Stay) by Thewritershae - thank you @allie-rose

583. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Do you know of a fic where it the story is about each time peeta ruins a cake? I read it before but forgot the title. The last time was when he made Katniss a cake for her birthday but dropped it when she said she was pregnant. Thanks for everything you've done for this fandom btw :)

584. pleasantturtletheorist-blog said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! So this might be a tricky one (bc I don’t remember much of the plot lol) but basically in this fic Peeta was like “don’t deny me post-sex cuddles” or something along those lines hahah. And I remember the scene being really cute but I can’t remember much else about it. I know this is very vague but if you could help I’d really appreciate it!! 🥺🥺

(584) This is possibly Blowout by Annieoakley1. - Thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams

585. yeeyeejones73 said to everlarkficquestions:Hello:) I was wondering if y’all know the name of a fic where it’s canon post mockingjay and everlark is growing back together slowly. I remember peeta gets a boner while Katniss and him are sleeping. I also think Peeta accidentally sees Katniss in only her towel after a shower and it’s super cute and awkward. I hope y’all can help and also thanks for all y’all do!

586. superpineappleenthusiast said to everlarkficquestions:Hey, I'm looking for a fic where the tributes of 74th games escape the arena. Thanks!

587. anonymous-loner95 said to everlarkficquestions:What the fic where Peeta thinks he's about to sleep with some random girl, which I think is actually is Jo, but is tricked into a room with Katniss?

588. thatgirl56834 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! First of all, I love this blog! You guys rock! I’ve been looking for a one shot I used to read all the time. It was where Katniss and Peeta were friends in middle school and kissed after their dance but then Katniss moved away. Years later they ended up being neighbors and getting together. Peeta lied about who he was at first but then Katniss figured it out. If you know what this fic is, I’d love to read it again! 💗

588 FOUND!  Wishes Old and New by Peetasbunmyoven. Thank you, @sunsetsrmydreams and @allie-rose

589. neonsnail said to everlarkficquestions:Hey I'm looking for a fic where peeta meets katniss and she has some kind of vision that if she gets pregnant prim dies and tries to stay away from peeta but she fails and then she sleeps with peeta to try to get pregnant and fails then disappears and they meet again a few years later and become a couple

589 FOUND! The story ha been identified as The Fool by Myusernamehere but unfortunately it has been deleted by the author.  Thank you @katnissdoesnotfollowback​

590. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: what’s the fic where Peeta cheats (post mockingjay) on Katniss and because of this she ends up with someone else?

591. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: Peeta and Katniss are in highschool and Peeta goes to prom with Madge and Katniss goes with Gale. She wears a burgundy dress and at the pre prom thing she meets an old friend from home named Josh.

592. tributeintraining said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a specific fanfic I read years ago. It's a modern AU where Katniss and Gale are in a band together. Katniss is the guitarist and doesn't sing. Gale is married to Madge but was having an affair with Katniss. The public finds out and she leaves the band. She goes solo and starts a PR relationship with Peeta. Her first solo performance is singing "Shake it out". That's all I remember. Thank!

593. supreme-doritos said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! im looking for a fic where the rebellion happens early and the capitol gets overthrown before the 74th hunger games by a tribute (then victor) from district 7. At one point katniss and peeta (who lost his leg in the bombing) look after haymitch but he ends up killing himself so they don't starve during a really harsh winter. Before he dies he asks katniss to give chaff a naked lady mug/glass (i cant remember the name lol sorry) Thank you! I really appreciate you guys <3

593 FOUND!  The Avalanche And Little Pebbles by Dyce - thanks to @eggplant8

594. entwodreiquatrocinq-blog said to everlarkficquestions: So i'm looking for this fanfic I read once on FF.net. Peeta and Katniss are intimate in the catching fire arena, and later in district 13, she finds out that she pregnant. Peeta is either in a coma or captured and one of his brothers survived. I believe there is a fight between Katniss and the brother, and he says something like "just because you f'ed my brother in front of the entire country doesn't mean....."  That's all I remember, I hope it's specific enough. :)

(594) Possibly The Sharp Edge of Memory by Titania522 - thanks @eggplant8

595. lettrsto said to everlarkficquestions:hi guys!! i can't remember for shit the name of this one shot, i guess it was written for promptsinpanem, where katniss dates gale, but haymitch hates his guts so k&g make a deal w peeta so katniss fake dates peeta while she's actually dating gale behind haymitch's back. can you guys give some help, pretty please? does it ring any light? thank you!!!!

(595)  FOUND by the asker!  Yours And Mine by Andthisisthewonder

596. jonerys-everlark said to everlarkficquestions:I remember a fanfic where Katniss and Peeta were in the 74th games when Katniss learns that Peeta is with the Careers, she remembers him telling her something (I think) but I know that she then waits until they are gone, and says to the audience something to the effect of , “I have something to say... he has not betrayed me, he is protecting me, as to his confession in the interview, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about it” or something like that, basically, she knows he is on her side an

Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!

[thweaty]

tomdaya tea ☕️

ok i have to submit this because it’s just TEW much to explain otherwise. like i said i stan them both so i been here for it all and know ALL the tea. i’ll give you the rundown of their relationship and then the drama that went down when she was dating jacob. there’s a whole tumblr timeline spanning years you can google if you’re interested in seeing it in detail but i’ll give you the basics. this is going to be a literal dissertation sorry in advance but i feel responsible for letting the general public know about the tomdaya agenda since i know so much

so they started dating in like aug/sept 2016 right after they finished filming homecoming. he went to canada right after to film another movie and during the course of filming she went to visit him and he flew to la to visit her, this is when people started getting sus. when he finished filming this movie he made an ig story about how he was going home to london to be with his family and spend the holidays with them, except he lied because he flew to la to see z and spend thanksgiving with her and her family lmao (he actually spent thanksgiving with her family 3 years in a row 2016-2018….more on that later tho 👀) her cousin exposed them when he posted a video on thanksgiving at her house and you could see her and tom cuddling on the couch. so everyone was like they’re 100% dating. like i said he was always flying to see her, he was going to workout classes with her mom and shit, he always stayed at her house in la (there’s multiple sets of photos of him outside her house with luggage). another thing that convinced people was sometime in early 2017 she made a whole snapchat story about how she was super sick and overworked and then after that accidentally posted a snap to her story that said “your sick girlfriend really loves you”. she deleted it quickly because it was obviously an accident and wasn’t meant to be public but people got screenshots. tom was also in nyc visiting z when she was filming the greatest showman and told a fan he met that he was in town visiting his girlfriend because he dumb. 

so at this point we KNOW they’re dating. zendaya is notorious for being extremely private with relationships, the guy she dated before tom she was with for 4 years and called him her best friend all along. she didn’t admit they actually had dated until after they broke up bc he cheated on her. so her being so private with tom and hiding it was expected. all this same shit goes on for the next nearly three years, they’re doing long distance but he flies to see her at least once a month sometimes more, they spend time with each others families, visit each other on set, etc. 

so this is where it gets interesting. tom is photographed on the euphoria set during a night shoot in like early may 2019. this is apparently right around the time they break up. tom’s best friend tuwaine was dating this girl audrey and when they broke up she started spilling tea on tomdaya (tom unfollowed her after this so it was def true). she said they broke up in may because they were fighting more due to long distance AND tom was tired of being so private, he didn’t want to be public but was over being so secretive and wanted to be a little more lax but she wasn’t comfortable with that. they decided to stay friends. the far from home press tour was in june and they were clearly still super close friends, nobody could even tell they were broken up cause they were so chummy (looking back now it’s more obvious cause tom was saying shit about his love life being a disappointment and stuff). they go their separate ways after the premiere but stay friends and continue to interact on social media, even months after the breakup tom met a girl at a con dressed like mj and asked if he could take a photo with her to send to zendaya so they were def still talking and stuff

fast forward to feb 2020. z is dating jacob and they’re being papped like every single day in nyc. pictures come out of them kissing out in the open in nyc. as a fan of z this was VERY weird to me because she’s always so private, but i was like maybe she’s trying something new because being so private caused the downfall with tom. BUT then she started DMing her fan accounts on twitter and ig asking them to take the kissing photos down (so idk what happened, she had to knew they were being papped but maybe she had second thoughts and regretted it)…. her fan accounts do delete the photos, but it’s too late. everyone has already seen them including tom, who is in the middle of a self-proclaimed instagram break. the day after the kissing photos came out, he goes back on ig and unfollowed two of z’s best friends, one being her assistant and basically brother darnell who tom was also good friends with. he posts a photo on his story of him drinking and puts emojis over his eyes and said something like “back for a minute, now i’m gone again.” he was going through it lmao so he literally went onto ig to be petty and unfollow people close to z because he was mad she was kissing her bf of a few months in public when they were together for nearly three years. and obviously he couldn’t unfollow her so he did the next best thing, and fans obviously took notice. a week later he followed darnell back cause i guess he realized how bad it looked but the damage was already done. tom and z from then on do not interact or acknowledge each other for the next SIX MONTHS. idk if they fought or if she was mad he unfollowed darnell or what. but it was MESSY. 

a month later tom starts dating this girl nadia, she moves into his house a few weeks into dating for quarantine. they date throughout those lockdown months. z breaks up with jacob sometime in june. she gets nominated for the emmy at the end of july, and days after she gets nominated her and tom start liking all of each others photos again. the assumption is he reached out to congratulate her and they made up. a few days after they start interacting again, tom posts a photo of his girlfriend on ig, and z likes it. tom and nadia break up like a week later 💀 he was filming uncharted in berlin at this point, him and z continue to interact, he finishes uncharted and flies right to atlanta to start filming spider-man. they’re still in atlanta now and we know they hang out all the time, but a lot of people think they’re back together because they’ve done some very 👀 things. her mom came to atlanta for thanksgiving and you guessed it… tom spent it with them (which we only know cause the celeb chef who cooked for them posted on his story that he made thanksgiving dinner for zendaya and tom holland. he then deleted and deactivated cause he realized he fucked up lmao). they started interacting with each other’s families and friends again. hunter (jules from euphoria) who is z’s best friend drove to atlanta to see her and her and tom followed each other. tom is very selective of who he follows and doesn’t even follow a lot of his costars so people were shook by this, especially because him and hunter met multiple times before but never followed each other. i have no idea if they’re back together, at the very least they’re good friends again, but i wouldn’t be surprised at all if they were. we’ll see what happens when they finish filming 👀👀👀 lmk your thoughts, questions, concerns etc. 

bitch my fave part was zendaya liking that pic and tom and his gf breaking up a week later 😭😭

[angelmichelangelo]

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

[genderfluidlucifer]

Response to being asked to give  an opinion on Connie’s calout by residentevil-4

(Tw: CSAM, rape fic, incest fic, predatory behavior, racism, ableism, kink mention, nsfw mentions. Minors should probably dni.)

“Connie and I know each other irl and went to school together for 3 years, although they now live in a different state and have cut contact with me. We went to a private therapy school in Manhattan as we're both disabled and were deemed unable to attend public school. Even though we were pretty close, Connie didn't like having photos taken of them, so I don't have any selfies of the two of us; however, these are from our sophomore and senior yearbooks which at least confirms that we were in the same year at school. People who have seen Connie's selfies should be able to confirm that that is what they look like. First and foremost, Connie is not TMA. They are intersex and the two of us have discussed intersex issues both in person and online, but they are still decidedly CAFAB.” Ok so first off, I want to address this part of the callout. To be honest...was it really necessary to literally doxx Connie ehre? Because this textbook definition of doxxing. Yes Connie’s done some shitty things but I freally don’t think that what they’ve done warrants this level of doxxing. Or...even better, any doxxing. This feels like a really unnecessary breach of privacy, revealing sensitive information on Connie’s childhood that they choose to confide in you with. I really don’t agree with this aspect of the callout as it feels very invasive and bordering on stalkerish.  Btw when I say bordering on stalkerish I’m not directly calling you a stalker Bonnie. Just so we’re clear. I am not defending Connie supposedly faking being TMA. Because faking being TMA is a very serious issue. HOWEVER since I don’t know Connie irl and to be quite frank it’s none of my business what the nature of their agab is. Were not close and I’m certainly not going to like lead Connie onto thinking we’re friends just to confirm this with them because that would be creepy. So to be honest I’m going to take this part of the callout with again of salt for now.

[ID: A cropped screenshot of a numbered list Connie posted to their blog hadrosaurs in response to an ask. 

“3. I’m TMA And that’s completely irrelevant. I’m not accusing them because of their gender I didn’t even know their gender when they said that to me saying that they said that because they fucking said that and the reaction to it was incredibly alarming. Don’t fucking say that stuff to people.]

I mean I”m not a trans woman so take this with a grain of salt if you want but...I don’t see how this is really proof of Connie being deliberately transmisogynistic? Yes Connie gives iffy retellings of mistakes they’ve made in the past. I’ve seen that on their blog before and I won’t pretend it doesn’t happen. BUT here they sound genuine enough and to be honest a growing issue I’ve seen with callouts as of late is. A person confirms they in fact did not do the thing they were called out for. And then the people who make the callout choose to see it as proof of incriminating behavior anyways. To be honest it’s a big problem and it’s also incredibly unfair to the person being called out. If you’re so determined at that point to see the person as bigoted no matter what they say then of course anything they say can be seen as proof. So I’m going to have to pass on this bit of evidence. “Connie responded: “Final note: I have spoken extensively with several trans women about using TMA to describe myself. I will not be getting into discourse about that on this blog again. All that leads to is people demanding my medical records and calling me slurs. If you wanna have a thoughtful conversation about it direct message me cause it’s not happening again here.” Again this really doesn’t seem all that self incriminating. Connie mentions here that they’ve talked to rl trans woman about whether or not they can be considered TMA. Connie really doesn’t have to disclose that personal information to people for any reason. Yes even when people are e including this ask response in a callout. And considering lots of people DO get invasive about Connie’s medical history ans general personal life over matters like this? I feel their reaction is pretty understandable here. “Connie has constantly compared “exclusionists” (or anyone, really) to TERFs, even when the people in question are not transmisogynistic, trans exclusionary radfems, or are even transmisogyny affected themselves.

“ Gonna have to disagree with this part of the callout too. Lots of ace inclus blogs, even some run by trans women , have proven that the ace exclus movement was started by swerfs/terfs. But the blog that has the most evidence for this is courteousmingler on tumblr. I suggest you check out that blog’s archiving of the history of ace exclus rhetoric before rushing to call me a transmisogynist for disagreeing with this part of the callout. I looked through all of the evidence for Connie being racist and tbh as a black ndn it all feels incredibly flimsy. It’d be one thing if Connie was using their experiences to derail and invalidate the discussions about how black people are oppressed But they weren’t doing that there at all. This part of the post feels incredibly biased. And like OP is looking for things to be mad about. Going to have to pass on this list of evidence. Also uh I seem to recall that residentevil04 got called out for some questionable behavior as well. “Both me (insepsy, hi) and ezrat have had really weird spikes in activity on our Statcounters, both on the same day. (Saturday, 4/17/21) For both of us, majority of the pages looked at by these visitors have been related to or about Connie, or have been posts that Connie would find "problematic" such as the f slur untagged or something related to "panphobia"/aphobia. I’m sorry but...none of the proof of cyberstalking holds any water. Visiting someone’s blogs and rbing posts to disagree with them is not cyberstalking. Keeping tabs on urls that an abusive person who has harassed are using so you can block them (in this case with kyoshi) and warn your mutuals is not stalking. As a victim of rl stalking it’s...really weird to call this legit stalking at all. Much less claim that you have damning proof of it being stalking when no such evidence exists in the callout. Besides after Connie and nonbinarydave called out one of kyoshi’s buddies for sending a death threat hate anon to nonbinarydave’s toddler st4lker partly admitted to doing it a few times. Then other mutuals in kyoshi’s toxic social circle clearly began joining in. Making side accounts where they tried to spin a false narrative of nonbinarydave’s daughter being one of their alters (ableist as hell.) And also trying to do it in such a way that they thought would trigger nonibnarydave’s psychosis (also ableist as hell.) If you’re going to drag Connie for their mistakes and never let them move on from those mistakes then it’s only fair to do that to people you agree with who also do toxic/bigoted things. ALso the fact that your wording here suggests that you think panphobia and aphobia aren’t real makes me doubt this claim even more. Exclus and their allies are notorious for mislabeling inclus disagreeing with them as stalking. “connie said that they would release that info at a later time and the minor began to argue with them that they had a responsibility regardless of their complicated relationship with age. in this argument connie for a time kept their age ambiguous and at one point told the minor (who confirmed in a later ask that they were severely traumatized by adults) that they obviously weren’t traumatized. connie quickly deleted this ask and any mentions of it and the next post they reblogged was about how wrong it was to try and quantify or discount others’ trauma. on my old blog i @ed them in the replies and asked if they had just done that. connie admitted to it and said it was fucked up but quickly blocked + deleted my comment. i can’t remember whether or not connie apologized to the minor, they may have? but yeah. i thought that was pretty weird.”] I do agree with some of the concern here that adults shouldn’t over expose minors in discourse. I’ve been contemplating this for awhile myself. And trying to figure out how to take better steps to avoid including minors who are triggered by discourse in discourse, especially. HOWEVER I have one little issue with this addition to the callout. If that is the case then exclus and their allies need to practice this as well. You cannot ignore the fact that the reason a lot of minors are getting involved in exclus discourse is due to adult exclus and their allies forcing minors to pick a side in the discourse. Y’all are not at all exempt from this problem. I still remember an ex mutual of mine trying to convince a minor to agree that aces can’t face corrective rape. And based on how aggressive it got with me when I tried to avoid giving an opinion on the matter, I can’t imagine that it would’ve reacted better to the minor refusing to give an opinion or to the minor outright disagreed. Refusing to put these standards on exclus and their allies is both hypocritical and quite frankly very transparent. The claims about them glorifying dark topics on AO3 through their fics also seems unfortunately legit. I mean those asks of shaming people who ask their viewers to not romanticize or glorify abusive relationships in their works is very damning. I’m very disappointed to see that Connie has taken being an inclus to the point of validating antis anti culture wholeheartedly. I can’t think of much more to add to my opinion on that part of the callout. As for the issue of Connie interacting with pro shippers in the past, I do know that this claim is legit. I’ve seen it before and so has Breeze. This was why for a brief time we decided to stop following their blogs. Because it was triggering to have pro shippers put on our dash. And sometimes we just don’t feel it’s worth it to always let people we’re platforming know they’re rbing triggering stuff. So sometimes we just quietly unfollow and choose to not interact until we’re sure they’re filtering what they do and don’t rb in some way. I definitely don’t agree with that behavior. And if they’re still doing that I”ll deplatform again. “The anon asks: “A weird question but do you know any other stimboard blogs with your follow criteria? (No radfems, racists, fandom antis, etc.) I was hoping to find more through your “similar blogs” but a lot have no anti-antis for their DNI or allow truscum/transmeds and exclus. :(“

The user responds: “I know of @turtle-pond-stims, @outofangband, and @kinaesthetics! 🍂🍄" “[ID: A cropped screenshot of an ask sent by Connie from their now-deactivated blog, butch-with-a-tortoise.

Connie says: “hey anon I have safe stim blogs. dm me if you want them. And radfems/bigots aren’t allowed to interact. For my own safety (because the community is honestly terrifying) I can’t publicly say on my blogs that I’m safe for proshippers/kinky people but I try to spread word how I can.”] [ID: Screenshot of a post by evilwriter37, which reads, “I’ve been seeing posts about fandom police leaving ao3, and it’s like: Good. We don’t want you here anyway. Go find your own fanfiction site.”

The post is tagged “#Fandom #AO3 #Antis #Purity Culture” and has 87 notes. It was posted on December 21st, 2020.

There is a reply from main-to-outofangband-andothers saying: “there are Silm antis on that site who are against Russigon (Maedhros and Fingon) not because they’re cousins but because they’re both male (coded)”] [ID: A screenshot of an anonymous (though signed off as being from outofangband) ask sent to evilwriter37, which says, “Melkor and Viggo solidarity is ‘Look there’s nothing wrong with keeping my enemy chained up in my personal chambers at all times so please just focus on the war efforts and I’ll focus on the boy* in my chambers’ -@outofbangand.

*boy used figuratively @ antis”

The user responds: “Pfft!!! Hahaha! You’re absolutely right! (And Viggo does refer to Hiccup in canon as ‘my boy’).”] I can’t really say anything to refute this. Because these are all posts of Connie outright stating that they disagree with antis. And not only sympathize with anti antis but are fully against antis. Looks like very damning evidence. Although ngl I’m not entirely against kinky blogs as a whole? Just so long as they truly stay in their lane with their kink content. And don’t force it on others in any way. Or shame people who are triggered by their kinks. It is true that being entirely against kinky blogs no matter what is dipping your toes into swerf rhetoric. Tbh I’m not going to look at the rest. This is pretty much all I need to make a decision on whether or not I”ll continue platforming Connie. Though I will try to get some more  perspective from people who I interact with as well. Because I feel better about making a more definitive decision after doing that. Also in general please don’t not try to get an opinion from me on how I feel about syscourse. A lot of the claims about Connie’s age weirdness and them using their alters as a shield feel like syscourse to me. Especially if this callout was written by one or several singlets. Singlets should never be trying to judge how legit someone’s system is ever. Even if their system friends encourage them to. You can call out a horrible person with a system without trying to insinuate that they’re lying about their alters in some way. Doing otherwise is ableist ESPECIALLY if you’re a singlet. Also in general the reason I stay out of discussions of judging how someone is handling their systems is because it’s syscourse and syscourse is triggering for my system and I. If this post was an attempt to get me to give an opinion  on the validity of Connie’s system I don’t appreciate it. And I would appreciate not being dragged into such matters again, thank you.

In general there’s like a few parts of this callout that feel legit. Which is unfortunately cluttered with obvious bias and obsessive hatred of Connie. I’m not here to stan or coddle Connie. I know they are not a perfect person. Especially since no human being in the world is perfect. But I feel the way this callout was created was very sloppy since a lot of the evidence was messy at best. And some points were very hypocritical as well as there being some no true scotsman moments from OP. In acting like exclus never do any of the thing that they tried to call out Connie for. Which is behavior that I am not a fan of. This is why people need to be more careful about callouts and like make roughdrafts and have a more unbiased person helping them if they don’t feel they can do it on their own. I’m even trying to make a resolve to do better at that myself. So it’s not like I’m unwilling to put my money where my mouth is. Anyways those are all my thoughts on this messy callout. And tbh I’m not going to get too much more heavily involved in this. Because I need to focus on more immediately serious rl stuff more often, like doing what I can to get out of the hellish landscape of a house I currently am stuck in.

[eagles-translated]

i agree, i don’t dislike klara either! however, i thought it would be a lot more poignant if she spent season 2 trying to fix things with amie rather than starting a whole new relationship, especially because she made it seem like amie’s friendship was so important to her in season 1. in general i hate the idea that the proximity to a man was the thing that made her more likeable.

I think it's fair that Klara didn't really put much effort into fixing her friendship with Amie. It seems like a lot of people gloss over the fact that Amie went behind Felicia's back and made out with Ludde, and it's totally understandable why you wouldn't want to be best friends with someone like that. Yes, Felicia and Ludde had just had a pretty bad fight, but to my knowledge they weren't officially broken up. Even if Ludde thought they were, it's not exactly tactful of Amie to make a move on him right after it happened. Amie was the one who led him into the room and seemed to be the one who initiated it. They were both in the wrong and what they did was incredibly hurtful to Felicia, and Amie isn't exactly the sweet and flawless person that people claim she is.

If Klara was the one who had led Ludde into that room and Amie was the one who filmed it, I'm sure people would hate Klara even more and argue that Amie was in the right for filming it so she could prove to Felicia that Ludde had been cheating. Amie is a fan favorite, and that's why she (according to fans) shouldn't have to face any consequences despite kissing her best friend's boyfriend and then following him around when they were broken up and kissing him again. Not to mention the fact that she kept insisting on it and even called Ludde later on to confess that she was "in love" with him, despite knowing he was still in love with Felicia. She has no respect for Felicia at all. And yet people actually get mad at Felicia for lashing out when she's the one who was betrayed, cheated on, and publically embarrassed. How do you think Felicia should act? She lost the trust of her boyfriend and her best friend in one night but she gets called immature for being upset.

I always see people putting a lot of blame on Klara because they like Amie as a character more and because of the way Klara posted the video. Yes, Klara should've deleted that video when Sara told her to (she shouldn't have filmed it in the first place), but she actually hesitated on posting it until she was in a really bad place and felt hurt by Amie implicating that Klara wasn't a real friend. In front of a whole crowd of people, to add. Klara obviously wasn't thinking when she posted that video — she was upset and acted rashfully, and it's clear that she later regretted how she had posted the video. Klara even apologized to Felicia and she did take responsibility. Unlike Amie, it seems, who we never see actually trying to apologize.

Klara posted the video to hurt Amie (who frankly was also in the wrong) and Klara shouldn't be the only one to apologize. It seems like Klara doesn't regret exposing Amie for what she did either, just that she regrets how she posted it publically and how it hurt Felicia. Klara acknowledges that it could've been done more tactfully. It was pretty obvious Amie and Ludde weren't planning on coming clean anytime soon either, which absolutely wasn't fair to Felicia who was blissfully unaware of the situation and genuinely thought she'd found happiness and friends after everything she'd gone through in the US.

Also, for everybody who I see using this argument — Klara posting that video is not "underage pornography" and such a severe crime that she should go to prison for it. Sweden isn't America. You are mostly allowed to film whatever you want here and use the footage as you wish, but of course there are restrictions to this which are noted in Brottsbalken (BrB), the Swedish criminal code. Filming somebody without their knowledge on private property is a crime, but the severity of the punishment can vary.

If Ludde or Amie had actually reported Klara to the police for this (which they didn't), I believe the worst thing that would happen is that Klara's parents would have to pay a fine. I should also mention that only one in five reports of offensive photography lead to criminal charges, and a lot of them involve nudity. What Klara did is definitely not as severe in comparison. She just filmed a bear and a lobster making out.

Anyway, I'm getting off-topic. I'd like to add that her getting into a relationship wasn't the only thing that contributed to her becoming more likable. Klara was more mature in season 2, took responsibility for her actions, told Felicia when she believed Jack might be cheating on her, helped out her dad when his company went bankrupt and stayed by his side when he had his mental breakdown, stood up to her mother when she said that Klara should just leave her father and take the easy way out, showed concern when seeing that Felicia was still taking drugs instead of shaming her for it this time, and rushed home immediately upon seeing the missed calls from her dad. I think she'd still be likable even if you removed Elias from the equation.

[princess-of-riviaa]

26 with Cavill? 💕

I’m so mad, I was writing this all out yesterday and was going to have it ready by last night and then MY COMPUTER DIED ON ME and everything got deleted. Anyways, here’s the second version of this beauty.

26. “Safewords exist for a reason. I’m gonna prove that to you.”

Henry was scowling at you. And you were gloating.

This gala was the first public event Henry had invited you to as his girlfriend. It was, for lack of a better word, the coming out party for your relationship. And you’d been teasing him relentlessly since you’d arrived. At first it had been simple things like flirty glances and intimate touches that lasted a few seconds too long, but once he pulled you onto the dance floor your confidence grew. You moved onto whispering filthy things in his ear, telling him all the things you wanted him to do to you when you got home and how you were wearing absolutely nothing underneath this red dress of yours. That wound him up more than anything. He’d been generous in the beginning, giving you subtle warning glares and telling you to be a good girl or you’ll regret it. 

You hadn’t listened.

And now here you both were--in the middle of the dance floor, in the middle of the party, in the middle of one of the biggest events in Hollywood, and he looked ready to take you over his knee in front of everyone. The thought of it, on top of the darkness pooling in his deep blue eyes, was enough to make you wet. You hadn’t been lying when you’d told him you weren’t wearing any underwear. And now, as you felt your arousal begin to drip down your inner thighs, you realized how reckless that had been.

He had brought this all on himself though. He deserved all this teasing. You’d had a stupid disagreement earlier today--you refused to implement safewords into your sex life, and he refused to touch you until you agreed to use them--and he’d left you needy and annoyed. This was how you’d chosen to get back at him.

“Remember what I said to you earlier?” he asked, his voice low enough that only you could hear.

You tried to recall everything you’d said to each other in your argument, but it had lasted for a good hour and neither of you had been willing to cave. A lot of words had been exchanged in that time. So you didn’t quite know what he was referring to now.

“That safewords exist for a reason,” he answered for you. “And that I was going to prove it to you.”

Your arrogant smirk faded. It was hard to read what he was thinking, but that dark look on his face made it clear that it was probably nothing good.

“Just remember,” he said as he stuck his hand into his pocket like he was reaching for something, “that you asked for this.”

You frowned and opened your mouth to ask him what he was talking about, or maybe to set him more on edge and tell him to hurry up and put his money where his mouth was, but a surprised gasp came out instead.

Sometime between your disagreement at home and before you left for the gala, Henry had spread your naked body out for him. But instead of touching you he’d just shoved a vibrator inside of you. You’d waited for him to turn it on. He never had. And sometime after, in the midst of you rushing to get ready for the event, you’d forgotten it was inside of you at all.

But now the vibrator came to life, stimulating your walls with a slow, steady pulse. Your eyes widened when you realized that he’d planned all of this. He’d stuffed the controller inside of his tux to save for right now. You wanted to curse, to say something to him, but you knew if you opened your mouth you wouldn’t be able to produce any actual words. You were already fighting back sighs and soft whimpers.

Henry closed the distance between you. He placed your hands on his shoulders. His hands were on your hips a second later and then you two were moving across the dance floor again. Now it was your turn to scowl and his turn to gloat.

“Don’t act like this isn’t what you’ve been asking for all night,” he growled in your ear.

You fisted his tux in your hands as a new wave of pleasure rolled through you.

“Does it feel good, baby girl?” he whispered.

You didn’t have the strength to respond.

His hand disappeared into his pocket again. Two seconds later the vibrator changed speeds, making your legs turn to jelly for a second. He brought his hand back to your waist and kept you upright.

“I asked you a question,” he said. “Every time you disobey me, I make it worse for you.”

You didn’t think you could handle him turning the vibration settings up any further. Your walls were already spasming around the vibrator and you had to bury your head into his chest to muffle the breathy sounds you were making.

“Does it feel good?” he asked again, testing you.

All you could do was nod your head. You didn’t trust yourself to open your mouth, but you didn’t want him to increase your torture either.

He continued to lead you two around the dance floor. Your vision was consumed by his huge chest so you couldn’t tell if people were starting to stare at you two. You prayed no one had noticed the strange way you were acting right now. The tension was growing inside of your core. You were seconds away from losing control, seconds away from orgasming in front of everyone here.

You looked up at him, your eyes desperate. “Okay, okay! I’ll use--safewords.” You paused, fighting back a moan. “Please!” You were holding back tears now, the pleasure so intense that your eyes were watering.

He smiled at you, half-victorious that he had won the fight and half-proud of how wound he’d made his baby girl in just a few minutes. “That was all you had to say, baby.” It felt like several minutes later when he finally switched the vibrator off.

A shudder of relief snaked down your spine. “I hate you,” you lied, burying your head into his chest again.

The song ended and you two stopped dancing. The room around you seemed normal. No one had noticed what the two of you had been doing for the duration of the last two songs.

Henry stepped away from you and said, “Meet me in the bathroom in two minutes. You can show me how much you hate me then.”

You’d be lying if you said that invitation didn’t wound you up as much as that vibrator had.

[thotfuss]

I kind of agree with the other Annonymous writer, I have both your ex and your feed. She apologizes for the things she did wrong and never says a bad word about you. She fully admits to things. It does feel wrong to keep calling her out as an abuser because she has been getting targeted and crucified because of your words. Is that not just as bad really? Friends and family, of course, will always take your side ALWAYS. You should listen to your heart. I am sure you loved her once.

I’ll be honest, I wrote a really angry stream of consciousness response to this, deleted it, considered not answering this at all, wrote out an actual response, told myself I didn’t owe it to anyone to explain, deleted that, and then wrote it again. Maybe this is my fault for talking about it or referencing it on here, but I never used her url or name, and I never went into detail. I saw it as me using my own blog to express my feelings, which, maybe I shouldn’t have. So I’m sorry if that’s the case. i was never “calling her out,” simply expressing my own feelings on my personal blog, i’m sorry if that was irresponsible. But I am not okay with the messages I’ve been getting lately. This is one of...5 similar ones sitting in my inbox rn? So I am NOT answering this to put my ex on blast or to target and crucify her, and I DON’T owe this explanation to anyone but for my own peace of mind I’m going to explain! (under a read more for abuse tw)

First of all, even if she DID admit to things she did wrong and apologizes for them, it doesn’t make it...not abuse? I seriously doubt she’s getting targeted and crucified, I haven’t posted her URL on here, haven’t even used her NAME, and her family and friends were extremely supportive of her and her actions when all this was happening.

It took me MONTHS to even be able to consider labeling what happened as abuse. Even after my therapist, my family, my friends, EVERYONE who knew about even a FRACTION of what was going on, had said that it was categorically emotional abuse I still felt like i was exaggerating or asking for attention. and to be honest, I still feel like that! 

My ex was insecure. I wrote everything that happened off as her being insecure for SO long, because every time I brought up an issue she would say I “wasn’t supporting her,” and that I should “know how it felt” because of my own issues with mental illness. But when I look back at some of the things that happened-I went to visit my sister back in September, and when I told my ex, she threatened to break up with me if I went. She also threatened to break up with me after my sister gave me a string bracelet she’d made me before leaving for college, because my ex thought that if I put it on, I’d be “replacing her.” I wasn’t allowed to hang out with my family in any capacity unless she was there. I wasn’t allowed to have other friends, I wasn’t even allowed to spend time by myself. She got angry if I spent time on homework, if I went home to do laundry, even if I wanted to sleep. She would say I’d rather sleep than spend time with her, so I was averaging 5 hours of sleep on a GOOD night. she lived about 30 minutes away from me, and I work a lot of night shifts. 

I would often go home before going to her place to change, feed my frog, etc, and she would get FURIOUS over this. She forced me to keep my location services on at all times, despite my telling her that it made me incredibly anxious and paranoid. If she saw me at my parents’ house, my apartment, the store, ANYWHERE without me having told her that I was going there, she would call me until I picked up and explained. 

She forced me to put her fingerprint into my phone so that she could go through my phone whenever she wanted. When I expressed discomfort, I was told both by her and her mother (who genuinely thought everything I’m outlining was an okay way to treat someone, which made it really hard for ME to tell that it wasn’t because I was surrounded on all sides by people telling me the opposite) that if I didn’t have anything to hide, it shouldn’t be an issue. She read through old chats of mine, and got upset about things I’d said to people before I’d even MET her-telling my friends I loved them, etc. She would monitor my social media activity, and if I was active somewhere and hadn’t messaged her back in a few minutes, she would call me repeatedly until I picked up. If I didn’t pick up immediately-If I was in class, at work, asleep, etc, she would later cite that as a reason she couldn’t trust me.  There was one morning where I woke up and she had turned my alarm off, and was on my phone scrolling through my phone calls and asking why I had called a certain number the day before but hadn't called her (I had called my dentist's office to reschedule an appointment.) While I was at work, she texted me calling me a fucking asshole and a cheater, based off of this situation alone.

I’m an art major, and I draw a lot! I like drawing portraits, I’ll sketch people in class, etc, and when she saw that she would accuse me of being in love with the nameless stranger I’d sketched in the coffee shop or something. She told me that the figure drawing class I was taking was “basically cheating,” to the point that I dropped out of it. She would go through my sketchbook constantly, which is something that’s very personal to me and I told her this. She once again cited that if I didn’t have anything to hide, it should be fine. She got angry at me for drawing fictional characters, even guys, which. I’m a lesbian! But she would get jealous and have a meltdown. 

She CONSTANTLY accused me of looking at other girls in public, even though I truly never was. I was driving us home from somewhere once, and looked in my sideview mirror to merge lanes, and she thought I was checking out the girl who was walking by on the sidewalk and blew up at me. Multiple times, she would get upset at me while we were driving somewhere and try to jump out of my moving car over an issue such as the one I just mentioned. 

She would get mad when I wore makeup to class or work, or even dresses or nice clothes. I would tell her that I just LIKED that dress, or that I just enjoyed doing makeup, and she would say I was only doing it to ‘impress other girls.’ On the other hand, she got upset several times when I DIDN’T wear makeup when we went out, because she said I wasn’t making an effort for her. 

She got upset at me when I didn’t finish meals, which she said triggered her own issues. I explained several times that my own anxiety (not food-related, just general) messed with my appetite a LOT, and made it hard for me to eat sometimes. 

She also gets mad when I don't finish my food, and stuff like that. I get that that's because of her eating disorder, obviously, but she still takes it out on me. All of this, when I react defensively or show that I'm hurt by her accusations, she says that i'm not giving her the "reassurance" she needs.

When I brought any of this up, she would have a melt down and cite her insecurities and mental health issues. I have major anxiety and depression issues, I've been hospitalized for it before and go to therapy once a week and am also on a lot of medication for it. When I had depressive episodes, bad days, or anxiety attacks, she would often get mad at me, and said I was sulking, or she said that it must mean I didn’t love her because she didn’t make me happy enough. I usually ended up comforting her over it.

On the anxiety note, I also tend to break out in a rash on my chest and neck when I'm anxious, and I will clarify that this looks NOTHING like hickeys. My neck gets red and blotchy, and I get itchy. when this happens, she LOST it every time without fail, melting down and telling me over and over "stop lying! just tell me who it was who did you do this with," etc, etc.

She told me that if we broke up, she would probably let her own mental health issues get worse, and would stop eating all together. She also flat out LIED about this when I brought it up later, saying that I was the one who had threatened to hurt myself if we broke up. She told me this, and other people this, and made up similar stories, so much that I started to believe it. I was apologizing for my own existence by the end of it, for every word out of my mouth, I was going crazy. I didn’t even REALIZE how bad it was, until I mentioned to my sister that I hadn’t driven the 30 mins over to her house one night due to the bad weather, and she had called me and called me until I picked up, forced me to send her pictures of the roads(?) and then said she’d “rather have someone who would drive on bad roads for her.” This wasn’t even near the worst thing that had happened, but the fact that my sister CRIED over that made me take a step or two back. And I left. Like...a few weeks after that. and it was HARD, it was the hardest thing I”ve EVER had to do, because i GENUINELY thought I was condemning someone to die. Like she fucked me up that bad! I still feel guilty. But I did it! She told me that nobody else would ever love me like her, that nobody would accept my mental health issues, etc, but guess what! I did it! 

And she STILL tried to contact me, refused to leave me alone, showed up at my WORK with a letter and flowers wanting to work it out (and sure she says this was romantic, whatever, but she forced me to unblock her number and hug her and now cites that as me “still feeling the same”) and made like...several different accounts to message me on here after I kept blocking the new ones she made. 

I have NO idea what she’s saying about me, and I don’t care. I want more than anything to move on. I hope she’s happy, I do! I get really, really, angry about it sometimes and I feel horrible for the way her isolating me made me cut off some very important people in my life. I’m still hurting, but i’m HAPPY. I want to move on, I don’t want this to be who I am, it doesn’t define me and I’d love to move on and meet other people and not have this fucking haunting me! And she keeps finding ways to bring it up. I wish her no ill will, and I”m not saying she’s a bad person. I’m not! But I am entitled to my feelings in the matter, I”m allowed to say that it sucked, I’m ALLOWED to say that it was abuse because there are things that happened that I haven’t even told my therapist, because it’s too hard to think about. I’m allowed to move on. Please, please allow me to move on. 

I’m not going to answer anything else about this, maybe I shouldn’t have talked about it in any capacity on here, maybe that’s my fault. But please stop messaging me about it. 

[askmalal]

The heretic was bruised, beaten, the bones of his left hand crushed, his lips swollen. Dried blood had gathered beneath his nose, beneath his jaw, and on the inner tunic of his shirt.

Arbitrator Caractus was unhappy. They’d simply thrown the man into an interrogation cell, and expected her to register his information before he was handed off to... well, she wasn’t entirely sure. But she didn’t think anyone came back from it. The Inquisition? Perhaps. But the Arbites didn’t much care for the Inquisition. Prone to corruption. For all their faults, the Arbites were ruthless opponents of corruption. Even their worst enemies admitted that they may have been sadistic bastards, but they were bastards who always had a paper trail to document that sadism... Marielle Caractus was not sadistic. But she never really -had-met her father...

“Name?”

The heretic smiled. “Marcus Tertullius.”

He didn’t cackle madly. He didn’t laugh. He simply smiled. Almost... it was almost polite of him.

“Citizen Tertullius, you have been charged with...” she skimmed down the list. “Well, my. What an interesting evening you had!” She cleared her throat, “Distribution of heretical texts with the intention to incite civil disobedience. Possession of an outlawed weapon. Vandalism in the First Degree.Attempted sabotage of public works. Theft of Imperial Property. Threatening a member of the Urban Cohort. Threading an Arbitrator. Possession of bomb making materials. Shall I enter your pleas?”

“May I have a handkerchief, please?”

She passed one over. He nodded his thanks and cleaned the blood from his face. “To the first charge. I admit to owning the material and distributing it. I do not admit guilt in owning an heretical work, however.”

“You are aware that this is a banned work, and has been so since at least M32?”

“It wasn’t as if I had a copy of the Necronomicon, Arbitrator.” His voice was calm, pleasant.

“No. There were no M1 era Gallic texts on mortuary practices. Nor fictitious works of supernatural study in your possession, Citizen.”

Marcus smiled again. “My. You are well educated, Arbitrator.”

“And to the others?” She said, moving on.

“Intention to cause civil disobedience? While I contend this is a matter of,” he spat blood into the handkerchief, “of free will, I plead guilty. Absolutely, unabashedly guilty.”

She nodded, “You had in your possession an illegally modified Imperial Guard issue laspistol.”

Marcus laughed for the first time. “Imperial Guard issue. That is rich. It’s a family heirloom. I think you’ll find it is an antiquity. A legacy of an ancestor who fought for one of the Emperor’s sons in the Imperial Army. And I didn’t modify it one bit. I merely kept it clean and functional. Shame your jack booted morons had to damage it. Real history there.”

She frowned, “Can you substantiate that claim?”

Marcus nodded, “You will find the registry number, and the license we hold for it, and have, for literally ten thousand years.”

“Vandalism.”

“Guilty. Though I think it was an improvement.”

“You sprayed the words ‘cocksuckers’ across the statues of four different heroes of the Imperium. I hardly think it was an improvement.”

“Art is very... subjective, granted. They were Ecclesiarchs. Two were subsequently executed. I hardly think that qualifies as heroic, with or without the executions. Do you have a problem with art?”

Marielle raised an eyebrow, “No.”

“A problem with cock suckers then, Arbitrator?”

She smirked, “Art is a luxury wasted on the insane.”

“And cock suckers are wasted in a clerical life.” He coughed, covering his mouth, “the plea is guilty.”

“You do not seem to have much of a fear of the punishment which awaits you, Citizen Tertullius.”

“Fear is a luxury wasted on the faithless, Arbitrator.”

He was, by all rights, inviting a beating. And yet, his eyes were placid, he was fully lucid. He was not ranting or raving. A madman nonetheless. Beatings? Those were wasted on madmen.

“Attempted sabotage of public works.”

Marcus considered this. “I rather think I was successful, I didn’t merely attempt it.”

“It says here that you attempted to slice into the internal holonet data feeds for the administratum complex.”

“I did not,” Tertullius smiled, “I did not attempt it. I succeeded. Uploaded my data packet.”

Arbitrator Caractus scowled, “No virus was detected. Pictures, text then? Something about ‘cock suckers’ again, Citizen Tertullius?” Was he some sort of pervert? Was that his angle? Perhaps they’d labeled him a heretic misunderstanding his intent. Criminal, but..

He laughed, briefly. It was painful, and he was forced to cover his mouth again. “No. Copies of that so-called work of heresy. Self-Replicating.”

“I see.” She frowned. “So it is a sort of virus then. We should have it scrubbed.”

Marcus shook his head. “No need. It’s done it’s work already.”

She would have to look into that later.

“Bomb making materials?”

“Not guilty.”

“Proscribed chemicals and a timing mechanism were found in your apartment, Citizen.”

“Not an explosive. A smoke charge. Drives the sensors on the local police autocars crazy.”

“Smoke bombs are classified as explosives under the Proscribed Civilian Weapons Act, Explosives: Chapter 7, section 14, Amendment 457a.”

He shrugged. “I would clap, but the bastards broke my left hand.”

“Citizen,” she sighed, “your records are clean to this point. You make a better salary than most. You have a clean apartment and you own your own autocar. What could possibly motivate such behavior?”

Tertullius’ face was blank, but his answer was sincere. “Faith.”

“The Holy Books of our faith do not...” Marcus interrupted her, and his voice was hard. “Your faith. Not mine.”

“That is blasphemy, Citizen.”

“So is all of this,” he threw up his good arm, manacled to the left, gesturing, “all of it.” So. Now the ranting was come. She steeled herself.

“Be careful, citizen,” she cautioned, “you haven’t expressed such beliefs that can cause you significant pain. They might even be mercifully quick about it...”

“I do not fear your Inquisitors.”

“You should,” Marielle’s retort was sharp.

“When I was a Navy Armsman, oh, round about the time you probably began your training, I watched the Marines Malevolent vaporize a colony of monastic gardeners because they had evidence that an icon to a false god was being hidden in their vicinity. They killed them all. Burned their city. And found they’d got the coordinates wrong. The captain of my ship, he was horrified. Couldn’t do anything. I heard, a few years later, filing the report ended his career. The man had a Navy Cluster. He was a legitimate hero.”

“I am unsure how this affects your plea, citizen. I believe we are just about done here.”

“You asked me about my faith, Arbitrator. I do not lie. I lost my faith that day. It was the latest in a string of atrocities, acts of cowardice. Things that made my blood boil and my heart ache. Turns out, however, that I didn’t completely succeed as an atheist. That icon, you know. Of the false god? Our search parties never found it. Not officially. But... you know..” he leaned forward, beaming, “we did. Four of us. Miles away, in some bombed out bunker from generations past. It was a little thing. A book, the cover embossed with a circle, half white and half black and a pictogram I didn’t recognize. An archaic Terran text it turns out.”

“You should have turned it in, then.” Marielle sighed, “That’s another charge. They will likely execute you for it.”

“Oh, but we did, Arbitrator. To the Captain. After I’d read it cover to cover, of course.”

“Sweet Emperor, man! Do you want to be executed?!”

“Not particularly. But I have done my duty. I am at peace.”

“You are a madman” Marielle shook her head. “A lunatic. Those books. They say horrible things. They do horrible things. And now we’ll have to arrest otherwise innocent people, since you so kindly uploaded the damned thing to the data feed, and.”

“No. Not that one. What I uploaded came later. Though I suppose it could inspire a kind of madness.”

Marielle closed her notebook, “I think it’s time we parted company. You are of no use to anyone but...” she shook her head, “but them, now.”

There was a code burst, illuminating her helmet feed, and she switched it on for a moment, listening. “Yes,” she said to the other end, “come on ahead.” Caractus turned her attention back to Tertullius, “Arbitrator Webb will take your to your holding cell. I suggest you make peace with your maker.”

Tertullius smiled, “We are broken in his crucible to be reforged in his anvil.”

Cripes. A looney. An eerily calm looney. But a looney just the same. He said little else, and when Webb arrived, she merely passed him on with a shake of the head. “Lost cause, Dub.”

Webb shook his head, sympathetically, as best a man built like an aurochs could. “That’s a shame. I’m sure you got something useful from him. You always do with these things, Mary. See you on the flipside.” Webb’s powerful frame seemed to diminish the half-broken Tertullius; the man put up no fight but showed no fear. Whatever he had to say, he had said it. She watched her them go and shook her head again. What a waste.

Marielle turned her eyes back to the helmet feed, blinking away the messages that had filled her inbox. At last, she came to it. A text file.

“COMMON SENSE,” it read, “by Thomas Paine.”

More lunatic nonsense. She was preparing to delete it when another code burst came through. Webb again, “Just couldn’t stay away, eh Dubb?”

“Well. No. But... I’ve got some good news for you, Marielle. You get to go off duty just a bit early. Maybe we could get dinner?”

“Sure. But... why?”

“Well, we’ve been dating for three years, and I thought maybe we should take the bold step of dining together now and again.”

“No,” Caractus rolled her eyes. “Not that. Why the early shift?”

“Oh. That. Well, your interrogation tonight. Your vandal-cum-mad bomber-cum-heretic...”

“Yes. The calm, creepy one.”

“Pretty calm now. He’s dead. Died of injuries in the waiting pen.”

“What? You literally just picked him up.”

“Not really true. I picked him up hours ago. The street squad beat the hell out of him. We were hoping he’d stabilize before we brought him up to you.”

“Brought him up?!” Marielle blinked, “Again?”

“What do you mean ‘again?’”

“Are you joking, Dub?” She frowned.

“Oh, come on Mary. I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to talk to him before he died. But better for him. Wouldn’t have survived the Inquisitors. But, if it makes you feel any better,” Webb’s voice reassured, “I am sure you would have got something useful out of him. You always do with these things.”

[onisiondrama]

PART 12 - videos #22 & 23

(Click here for video mirrors) - These are not my words or thoughts, I’m just summarizing what Greg / James is saying in his videos. Apologies for any offensive language or comments that may appear. - I am not repeating stories anymore and will replace these stories with brackets describing what he’s talking about. If you don’t know these stories you’re going to have to go back and read previous parts or watch his previous videos.

the past

- Another email. Person says Greg and Shiloh’s relationship reminded them of their relationship with their ex. Their ex would fake mental illness and fake episodes when they would try to leave. Greg says Shiloh would fake seizures around when they had arguments or when he tried to break up with her so that makes sense. [Shiloh popped out of seizure after he threatened to call ambulance story] He says that’s why he knew they were fake and why he didn’t take them seriously. He just thought that’s who she was and thought she was just weird. - Person says this type of manipulation only works on people who want to help. Greg says his hero complex is pathetic and he hates it. He doesn’t want to save people because it always screws him over. Except with Kai, but Kai didn’t need to be saved because he had his whole life planned out. He was going to be a surgeon, but instead Greg helped him get a bachelor's degree in psychology by spending $100,000. He says it was cool he got to help Kai with that. - Person says if Greg was still with Shiloh, he’d be living in fear. They list aspects of his life they believe she would control. Greg says the only thing she controlled was if he looked at a women, h-e-n-t-a-i, or p-o-r-n she’d freak out on him. She’s very jealous. - Person describes their relationship with their ex more. Greg says Shiloh didn’t try to ruin his life until she started doing interviews, 8 years after [Shiloh cheated story, he never jerked off to her crying] - Person talks about the impact their relationship had on them 6 years later, trust issues, avoid people, push people away. Greg says Shiloh did not have that impact on him. - Person says what Shiloh did to Greg was abuse. Greg says he feels putting the label of abuse on what Shiloh did to him is not what he wants to do right now. [Shiloh wrapped arms around him story.] He says she wanted him to do something bad to her so she could use that to guilt trip him. He realized in that moment some guys lash out and hit because they are backed into a wall and don’t know what to do. He was tested and he doesn’t hit. He giggles like the Joker, but in more of a pussy boy way. Shiloh weighed the same as him and was very strong and he didn’t want to fight it because he was afraid he’d hurt her. He doesn’t want to say he was abused because as a man it doesn’t feel normal. - Another fan email. Greg says he doesn’t have a perfect memory, but he has a pretty good one, he doesn’t have BPD, doesn’t have Alzheimer’s, so he has a normal brain besides his depression that he was diagnosed with. He says no one knows all the facts. If there’s a god, he or she might. - Person says they think there are details on both sides that aren’t being told. Greg says he doesn’t know what that means. He tells us stuff as it comes to his mind. - Person says Greg doesn’t have to prove his innocence unless he’s charged and even then he doesn’t have to prove himself to strangers online. Greg says the problem is the strangers online can harass you, SWAT you, send you horrible things in the mail, constantly make meat pizza deliveries to you. Every pizza company in the area should know by now not to deliver pizzas to him because they’re pranks and they’re wasting time and money. People don’t care if they’re stealing from companies, or if they make illegal calls to emergency agencies, or if they’re wasting animal control’s time. That’s why he has to establish innocence to the general public. [Internet is guilty until proven innocent when it should be innocent until proven guilty rant] - Person says they are 37 year old woman who works in law enforcement and it makes them sick that people are going so hard on someone who has yet to be charged with a crime. She says she wanted to show support and tells him to stay strong. He says that’s cool. [People don’t care about real crimes rant.] - Says his relationship with Shiloh was toxic and he’s glad he broke up with her. He should have broken up with her sooner. [Called police on Shiloh story, he ran away to LA.] He says a month ago he found out he could have gotten a restraining order against her. [Shiloh made him feel like she was the one, cheated.] If you raise someone else’s baby and they got pregnant with someone else you never met before while you were dating them, you’re a cuck. He’s happy to date a single mom, but not in that situation.

reality

- He want to bring some of you to reality. He says if you search “onision jail” on twitter you will see the worst things ever said to him. He received an email that said “I can’t wait until you die in jail.” -This is the reality check he hopes we all face: there’s no crime. [Sarah admitted nothing happened until she was an adult, NDA, blackmail.] Billie and Sarah both admitted Sarah was never groomed. People were around and saw them with Sarah so it was obvious she was never groomed. He was mean to her. - People talk about photos being exchanged. They’re talking about Kai, not him. The laptop belonged to Kai. Phone text exchanges is what Kai’s accused of. He 100% believes Kai wouldn’t want to send photos of that nature to someone who is not of age. The photos were not obtained through honest means in his opinion. It’s disturbing someone held onto and released those photos when they knew Kai didn’t want them to have them. He says there were two pictures and they wound up on instagram with parts cropped out. It was not sexual. - Says Regina says photos were exchanged, but he was informed Regina is a liar. Regina has no proof this occurred. He says he doesn’t know about this exchange because he is disinterested in Regina. - [Doorbell rings and dog barks.] Greg comes back and says once again you guys pranked the pizza place, defrauding pizza companies by having them make pizza and not paying for them. They got sent away once again without being payed. You guys are absolute scumbags. - Says Regina is a very ugly girl. He says he knows it comes off as mean, but he doesn’t believe in filters or PC culture. He’s allowed to think someone is ugly or gross. He saw her in a video thumbnail. He’s not trying to get our approval. - Greg says crimes typically have to happen in order for someone to go to jail. What he’s accused of is grooming. It didn’t happen and if it did it’s not a crime. - Greg and Kai backed up all their texts on a cloud so there is no escaping the evidence. He says they would show us, but we would probably try to get him canceled again for “doxing” [air quotes]. If he tries to show proof and defend himself you guys say it’s doxing. If it ever goes to court he’ll unload all the texts from day 1 to the last day. It’ll prove she said she groomed them and there were zero inappropriate photo exchanges. [Kai’s not into p-o-r-n] Except he thinks Kai had guys kissing on his tumblr. - Sarah is a shameful liar. She keeps saying she has evidence yet they’re still free. Greg have her $150 for her birthday because she helped him build a chicken coop. He says it’d be cool if she gave that back because she’s done more than $150 worth of damage with her lies. She also apparently made tens of thousands of dollars off of you guys being gullible. - [His forums were 18+ only] Says there was a rumor the forums were deleted last year when the forums where people submit stuff, onision.xyz, haven’t been around since 2016. There were dead forums up that no one was using. All the submission sections were deleted 2 years ago because there was too much controversy around adults sharing photos. He was just telling people if they were fat or ugly or not. - His discord is adults only and doesn’t even have a selfie section.  - He never exchanged inappropriate picture with anyone. - He says the police representative that was spoken to was the craziest thing because he doesn’t know why you’d comment on an open case. People say there’s 19 calls or investigations. The police have only been to his house 6 times. They’re talking about how many times people called the police, but most of the time they don’t come because they’re sick of people making shit up. - [Sarah was rejected, apologized for r-a-p-i-n-g them, left] He says he bought her the movie Dodgeball. She was mad he didn’t want to watch it with her and that was one of the last interactions they had. He made it up to her by watching another movie. He was trying to make her happier before she left so they wouldn’t be on horrible terms. [His BPD video upset her.] - He doesn’t know why Sarah would watch this video, but if she does he tells her to move on with her life so he can move on with his. He tells her when he was talking about gross smokers, he wasn’t talking about her. She never smoked around him so he wouldn’t be able to taste any smoke nastiness on his tongue. He was talking about Shiree who took his virginity. Sarah internalized everything he said as if it was about her, which is probably part of her mental thing. - If the accusations against Kai were real, they would have went to the police, but instead they went to the internet. As far as he understands Regina promoted a plastic surgery operation, Shiloh promoted a new album, Sarah promoted a Venmo with tens of thousands of dollars. Everyone’s promoting something. - The crime accusations are against Kai, but people don’t talk about Kai because he’s not popular to talk about so they blend what people say Kai did onto him. None of this will hold up in court. The police are being pranked. - [He repeats his earlier points and stories a lot.] Asks if his crime is getting blackmailed and sexually extorted by someone? Says he has witnesses, but not to Sarah apologizing. That was just to him. - He says someone tried to SWAT them but it failed. The police department is fed up by how much people try to troll them. Someone tried to send him mail with powder in it and they shut down the post office because it was dripping liquid and had a hate messages. He says no doubt from one of the moron commentary channel viewers that believed everything they said. Basically threatening his life. His house was egged by teenagers and they looked in his car. He would show us the footage, but he’s saving it for court. They thought they weren’t home because they covered up their windows after Hansen. 

[i-want-a-cupcake-plz]

Logan, the continuation

Logan, commonly associated with pure logic and cold facts- even aside from Logan Sanders this would probably be the first observation most would make of you. Straight to the point and best to go to when in need of a blunt answer. In my saying these things I mean no offence so please don't take it as an insult. You have multiple shields to hide behind such as your logic, bluntness, facts, and many more things. Even when you're excited about something it seems that you're holding back for some reason or another, which I believe is most likely because at one point you "geeking out" was shot down by someone important to you.

You also seem to use humour as a shield when it comes down to it, to some people it may seem like that's you letting down your guard but I think that's actually you putting your guard up even more so when you tell jokes or do anything that isn't serious people seem to think for some reason that that means that you're starting to let your guard down more, but being honest that's more than likely a very carefully measured stuff that you've taken a little bit longer than really necessary to prepare to take. Everything done is like a move on the chessboard, with everybody else as your opponent, if you don't stay three steps ahead of everybody else then who knows what you might become susceptible to right? If you were to actually let your guard down I'm pretty sure that people would be shocked to see what is actually you without any guards up, and despite the fact that most people would claim to not be surprised I feel like you might actually almost the complete opposite of how you do when you're actually very carefully thinking out every single movie that you make. Not to say that this is a bad thing at all but I feel like if you were too honest to God not think about the repercussions of saying something or making a certain joke for one of your posts, people would be more shocked than they would be willing to admit.

If you look at a few key points of how you act in different scenarios you can start to see what ways you most commonly guard yourself and you can also take into account your personality in public v.s. private conversations with different people. From what I can see just from my own perspective you hide behind a few certain things the most (humour, being stoic, etc.), hardly actually let your guard down unless you’re comfortable with someone, and you seem to think that you’re a bother when honestly you’re a delight to see and hear from either directly or indirectly. 

Humour- you seem to use humour as a way to try and show people that you’re okay and letting yourself not be on constant guard even though it seems the opposite is actually the truth.

You seem to use it as a defence mechanism mainly when things are extra stressful, you feel bad, or any number of negative connotations due to emotional distress which you usually deny having at all even though you feel emotions very clearly. 

The emotions you feel are stronger than most peoples I think, but to stay serious and stoic you try and pretend to not have them much of the time, so you showing humour would seem to show you feeling relaxed when in all honesty it’s really you being ridged in your own defence.

Being stoic- you try and seem indifferent unless something is just absolutely horrible and needs to be addressed, which you make sure to do in the most logical way possible to show your point in the most concise way you can and in a way that will assure you coming out on top for any debate with even just the base of what you’ve stated.

When you get like this you seem to shut off your emotions entirely even though it’s the reverse- you feeling them so strongly that you can’t process and communicate them in any meaningful way that known words can say them. 

You also usually give shorter answers when you slip behind this defence, staying short and to the point with no bells and whistles, making sure that it’s known you care but that you also aren’t going to get choked up about it unless it’s something major that requires you to show some of your emotions to fully get a point across. 

This also has the drawback of making the holding back of your emotions worse and starting the cycle again until you’re given the okay to let them out at which point you’re most likely going to be livid or start to feel stupid for letting them out

Self-deprecating posts- when you feel mad at yourself and just want to let it out, you usually use a subcategory of humour for this, making it seem like you’re joking when in reality you’re very serious and usually delete the post later as to not cause worry.

You usually make it seem like it’s just a relatable mood post ™ but you seem to actually be mad at yourself or depressed in general when you make these kinds of posts, but they seem like they’re just meant to be relatable so people usually write them off as such.

In conclusion, you have more emotions than you seem willing to actually show- you also don’t like people to really worry about you despite needing someone to. You hide behind all of these things to make yourself seem tougher than you are which, while not always a bad thing, can quickly spiral out of control until you’re lost and need help that you’re unwilling to accept or ask for. 

Once again these are just my own thoughts please don’t take any offence because I really do not mean any! And if any of these are true I’m always open to talk Logan, you’re my friend and I care about you, want you happy, and want to help you put when I can.

@logan-exe

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 26

Chapter Summary -  The newspapers give some of Taylor's thoughts on the matter, leading Tom to discuss things with both Luke and Benedict separately, while Danielle has to try and get back to life behind the camera, with people taking interest in her for what they've read.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

So, the headlines are in Italics again, but most disturbing is the fact the four last ones are not ones I fabricated, but actually published pieces. If Taylor's PR is the ones putting these out there, then they are scum, if they are not denying it, they still are scum, and what scares me is the fact that there are some morons that will swallow this shit up. But she cannot always play the victim.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum@nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Taylor – Tom made me break up with Calvin; the worst mistake I could ever make.

Taylor holds head high after Hiddleston’s secret lover revealed.

Taylor broke off relationship when she suspected Hiddleston’s affections lay elsewhere.

Taylor Swift – “I knew there was something going on.”

Tom Hiddleston’s secret girlfriend, the real reason Taylor left him.

Taylor Swift “I feel used.”

Tom Hiddleston, Taylor Swift 2016: Actor Lied About Calvin Harris To Solo the ‘Bad Blood’ Singer?

Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris Split after Tom Hiddleston Lied about the DJ.

Tom Hiddleston Is a First Class Home-wrecker.

Taylor Swift: Tom Hiddleston Was the Reason Why She Dumped Calvin Harris.

Tom stared at the headlines that faced him before rubbing his face with his hands, sighing, and then groaning in frustration. He knew Taylor would say something, but he had not expected this. “So I am a Home Wrecker, a user, and abusive?”

Luke bit his tongue for a moment, knowing no good could come from him saying that the moment Tom introduced himself to the star; he was on course for terrible accusations against him once it all ended. “Apparently, yes.”

“Does anyone believe this?”

“A few, mostly fools who think that the woman is incapable of wrongdoing and blindly follow everything the brat says solely based on the fact she donates money to some good causes.”

“What?”

“I have had people watching social media; apparently her generous nature regarding charity absolves her from any faults as an individual.”  Luke scoffed. “There are too many fools in the world.”

“What are the chances she never releases more songs?” Tom groaned.

“As likely as Theresa May coming out as a supporter of left-wing liberalism.”

“Seriously, political sarcasm?”

“You asked.” Luke shrugged. “Any word from Ms Hughes?” Tom winced slightly. “I shall take that as a resounding no.”

“She hasn’t deleted me from her Facebook,” Tom commented hopefully.

Luke grimaced. “Please do not tell me you are Facebook stalking her?”

“She’s back in Ireland for a week, and then she is off to a new set.”

“Tom, that is not normal, I mean seriously, you get weirded out by fans that do that to you.”

“What am I going to do Luke?”

“Nothing, I told you, you need to back off, she has a boyfriend. Can you imagine how hard it will be for her to explain all of this to him?”

“He knows she is friends with the family, he has gone to dinner with Emma and Jack and mum has had him over.”

“That’s some good news, but if she mentions the kiss?” Tom did not respond, “You see, you have caused her enough trouble Tom, just give it time, she forgave you for the shit you pulled when you were seeing “PR Barbie", so she will probably forgive this too.” Luke gave an encouraging smile.

“I just…” tom shook his head. “Why didn’t I ever notice?”

“Your infatuation?”

“It’s not an infatuation.”

Luke rose to his feet. “You never realised your feelings for her because she never allowed you to realise that you were envious by not having a partner, and upon her having one, you, my friend, left it too late.”

“What do you mean? Do you think we could have if I had…?”

“Could you have started seeing her, yes. Would it have lasted, well, the odds, however, were never in your favour.”

Tom bit the inside of his cheeks. It was against the odds to succeed in Hollywood, but he had done it, he could easily have worked on making things work with Danielle too, if only he had tried.

*

The news reached the set before Danielle did, and much to her chagrin, she noticed that it seemed to be a popular topic of conversation for some people.

“Hughes, a word.” She grimaced as she walked over to Irlam. “You never mentioned that you know Tom Hiddleston.”

“His mum is my next door neighbour.”

“But you said nothing.”

“Why would I?”

“Well, in this industry, it helps to know people.”

Danielle’s nostrils flared slightly. “It may help, but there is no merit behind it, besides, what would I say? That I know the man to see once a blue moon between movies that comes to visit his mum for a day or two, that I salute him if I see him having a jog.”

“If papers are to be believed, you know him considerably better than that.”

“You shouldn’t believe everything you read.” She smiled and winked.

“He’s a great guy, isn’t he?” Irlam chucked. “I worked with him, so willing to try and do everything right.”

Danielle smiled sadly, “Yeah, Tom is a good man, those photo’s, he brought me and his mum to a restaurant to celebrate me getting all of this.” She explained. “Nothing else, just because I get on well with his sister and mum, and because I never try and use them for anything.” Her voice cracked slightly at the end, her hurt at what she perceived to be a mistake on Tom's behalf becoming harder to disguise as she spoke of him, and some of his traits she had always adored. “Sorry.”

“Are you alright?” Irlam asked in concern.

“Yeah, just…the publicity from all of this, I mean, I am…there’s a reason I wanted to work behind cameras, you know?”

“Well for me, I go with the idea that I have a face meant for radio.” He joked, causing her to laugh slightly, “But yes, I understand, I see it sometimes with actors, they realise that the life of anonymity is destroyed once they become famous. What you are saying is you are not even in a relationship with Tom, yet you are receiving the attention of such, an even more horrible situation; especially if you never wanted such in the first place.” He added more solemnly. “No to mention, you now have the attention of one bitter brat.”

“God, what is that bitch saying now?” Danielle was half afraid to ask.

Irlam frowned, “You’ve had interactions with her before?”

“Sadly yes, she was at his mum’s with him, and well, she is as crazy as that supposed skit song implies, like literally, batshit crazy. She genuinely thought I would be envious of her.” Danielle scoffed.

“Well, she is the victim.” Irlam began.

“When is she ever not?”

“And he is abusive, a user and a home wrecker.” Danielle felt terrible for Tom. “From what I have read, prepare for a song about you.”

“That’s what she does, isn’t it?” Danielle sighed.

“Sadly yes, now, back to what we do. I need to talk to you regarding a scene where we have the dragon breathe fire.”

“It had to be a fucking dragon.” Danielle groaned, readying herself for the madness of the day ahead.

*

“Do I want to ask?” Benedict walked into Tom’s London home, looking around at what would probably be described as slight untidiness to most other people, but in Tom’s case, could only be called chaos. “The place is a wreck.”

“I kissed her.”

“Who?”

“Danielle, I kissed her Ben, and she rejected me.”

“Tom.” Benedict looked at him sympathetically.

“I just…I don’t think this actually hurt so much before.”

“I…I get it, in a way, I mean I was with Olivia for a decade, I thought that she was it, and it wasn’t to be.”

“You think Danielle isn’t…”

Benedict raised his hands. “I am not saying she is or she isn’t, I cannot answer that for you, but I can say this; if it hurts this much, there has to be more to this than simple lust.”

“I love her.”

“Fuck Tom, I’m sorry mate.” Ben gave a sympathetic look. “What exactly happened?”

Tom relayed everything, the meal, the conversation, the paparazzi, and the issue outside her door. “The way she acted, she was almost crying as she told me to leave, like I destroyed everything.”

Ben cocked his head slightly, “Wait, what do you mean crying? She was crying.”

“No, nearly crying, she just kept begging me to leave,” Tom explained.

Benedict’s eyes darted side to side for a moment as he thought about what Tom had said. “You need to just get some rest; you’re off to Oz again tomorrow, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I need to redo a few scenes; apparently one of the minor actors has had to be swapped out.”

“The joys of the industry,” Benedict commented sarcastically. “Well, go, get some vitamin D, because fuck knows we are getting none here with this weather, and when you come back, we will have to further this conversation.” Tom scoffed a little, but said his goodbyes and made his way home to pack. Taking out his phone, Ben texted Sophie what Tom had just said, wanting her opinion on the situation. When his phone indicated a new message received a few minutes later, he chuckled to himself as he read his wife’s reply. “I thought as much.”

[plague-of-insomnia]

🍋 🍌

Thank you for the ask 💕!!

🍋 Your descriptions are transportive

Wow... 😶☺️🥰 Thank you.

🍌I want to pick your brain about your creative process.

This will be a long post, FYI.

Chaos.

Haha, I’m joking.

Or am I?

Honestly, I’ve tried a lot of different things over the years, including outlining, and it never works for me bc my characters control the story. I really am just their interpreter, putting their lives and words onto virtual paper.

I’m a “character first” kind of writer (as opposed to a “plot first”), and that means I could probably tell you what any of the main cast of my stories ate for breakfast on the morning of their 8th birthday, but I couldn’t tell you what happens in the end, or sometimes even in the next chapter, bc I don’t know until I “get there.”

I’ve done my best to break my process down into 8 steps.

Step 1: The Idea

When I first get an idea, it usually comes to me in terms of a really vivid scene, like the chapter in Where Demons Hide called “Spark of Madness.” Usually that scene ends up in the beginning of the story but not normally the first chapter. Sometimes it’ll give me some story/plot to help me begin to flesh out the idea more, like in that example, where the main antagonist/conflict is introduced, though normally I have to work at it a bit more.

Step 2: Flesh Things Out

This is where I brainstorm, usually thinking about the main characters, who they are and what their flaws might be and what they might want to help me “find” the story. Sometimes I’ll make a character sheet (normally I don’t if I’m working alone bc I don’t have to). I do normally make a file for notes where I’ll jot down possible ideas about the characters and where the story might go.

I’ll be perfectly honest and say while this process does get me jump started, most of the notes I jot down I don’t end up using bc as the characters and story formulates, they both tend to change from my original ideas.

Step 3: Research

This can often be tied in with #2 and it’s not as if it just stops here. But as I often write about disabilities, mental and chronic illness, I like to make sure I can get as much info about the disease/condition I want to represent as possible so that I can:

represent it appropriately and accurately and

so I can find story/character details along the way.

For example, in my novel UnConventional, I was able to talk with a friend who is not only an orthotic user (and has been for years) but is an engineer of sorts so he understands very well *how* they work. By talking with him about various orthotics and his own struggles with them, I was able to find new plot and character details that help make the story more vivid and real and also allowed me to drive it in directions I may not have been able to otherwise.

Step 4: Write, Write, Write.

Two things you need to know about my writing process:

I usually do better when I write out of order.

I need to visualize the scene in my head to write it effectively. My “writers block” comes from not being able to see things in my head

My method isn’t the most efficient, but it’s how my brain works, and I’ve learned to go with it rather than fight it.

I brainstorm with myself (or a friend or my husband if possible) when necessary, or sometimes I’ll just close my eyes in a quiet place to allow myself to “see” the next series of scenes. Before I can forget the vivid movie I saw in my head, I do what I call a “scene sketch.”

I call it a “sketch,” bc just like a sketch is usually the foundation for a piece of art, mine are the basic structure for a completed scene. I do this also if I have a pretty solid idea but don’t have the time to write or I’m too tired or something like that, bc sketches allow me to simply sit down and flesh them out to create a completed scene.

They’re kind of like what an outline might be for other writers but less organized. Sketches are like a little treatment of a scene, including the basic setting, an idea of POV, and even dialog and body language, but jotted down really quickly without quotes or dialog tags. Sometimes there’ll be things like “maybe this happens” bc once I actually write the scene I’ll know if that idea feels right or not.

Here’s an example from a rejected chapter of WDH (I ended up going in a slightly different direction):

Seb answers when room service knocks. Bard is hovering, maybe bc he heard Seb’s scream. He sees the bad bite on Seb’s bare chest, sees he’s trembling and drowning more than ever, his eyes almost pleading for rescue. But when Bard asks if he’s OK he smiles and says yes, sir. Takes the food from the room service person and says he’s been ordered to wait on the guests personally. Shuts the door in Bard’s face.

Sometimes these sketches can be very detailed, other times it’s more of a general, quick jot of what happens or the scene I want to set. It depends on my brain and the scene.

I like to set goals based on scenes (or sometimes chapters), and do my best to complete a scene in its entirety if possible before I stop. If I can’t bc of time, then I’ll write a really brief sketch so I know what I need to do when I pick back up again so I won’t forget.

I’ve been writing and editing long enough that depending on the project I’m able to self-edit as I write. That doesn’t mean I don’t revise or edit later, but it saves some time overall as I am more aware of certain things than I used to be.

Because I write out of order, my process often entails being a puzzle master and piecing things together. Especially for something like Where Demons Hide, which has a lot of flashbacks, since I write those separately from the main story, I then have to figure out where they “belong.” I’d say 98% of the time for this fic I have already written the flashbacks before the chapter(s) they end up in.

My original serial fiction I write in a similar fashion, where I often will write scenes out of order and then assemble them into chapters later. So sometimes I’ll make a kind of “outline” of plot points that I need to cover. It’s not so much a fixed thing as a memory aid and place for me to put notes of ideas that might come to me that aren’t completely fleshed out.

Step 5: Rest

Once I’ve completed a chapter, I try to let it “rest” for at least a few days, if not longer. Especially if it was a long chapter or something that was difficult to write and took me awhile so I’ve been working on it for days or even weeks at a time.

I do this for three reasons:

“In process” brain lies often and says a scene/chapter sucks and I should just burn my computer/phone and take up accounting instead, and that the pacing is awful and it’s boring and lots of similar untruths.

Especially if the chapter took me a long time to finish because it’s lengthy or complicated or has difficult subject matter or whatever, it means there’s a good chance I’ve been working on it for days or even weeks and I’m SICK TO DEATH of it and never want to see it again, so taking a break from it is a welcome relief. It’s like taking a vacation after you’ve been working overtime for months. Sometimes I’ll do writing-adjacent things during this time, like reading, organizing/typing my notes, jotting down things I need to work on, reading/watching stuff that will energize and inspire me. Other times I work on another project or other scenes/chapters in the same project. Sometimes I’ll just take a break if I’m feeling burnt out or stressed.

I can come back to the project with fresh eyes, so that I can read it and see what things are actually good (suck it, in-process brain) or what things may still need work in a way I couldn’t do so soon after finishing.

Step 6: Revise

I revise in different ways depending on how much I feel something needs fixing. The first revision is my chance to see how the puzzle pieces knit together, work on scenes that I noticed aren’t pulling their weight or that need to be fleshed out. Sometimes this means I will completely, totally rewrite—and by that I mean “retype.” I open a fresh document, and referencing the original, start over. This allows me to streamline and better hone my language and ensure each scene is working hard.

This is something I do if I feel like a scene isn’t working as-is or I have a shit-ton of notes and comments on the first draft and it’s so chaotic I feel like I can’t focus anymore. This is especially helpful for dialog.

Other times the revisions are less drastic. Sometimes I means moving a scene around or deleting one that isn’t working. Sometimes it means finding all the times I’ve repeated the same word and fixing that, or fixing places where I’ve used the same sentence type too often.

Revision can be a very long process, depending on the quality of the first draft and what my goal is. If it’s just fan fic I’m doing for fun, then I don’t obsess too much: usually 1-2 read throughs and adjustments are OK. If it’s something I’m going to submit for publication, then that’s a different story bc the quality of the edit of your submitted draft makes a good impression (or a bad one).

Step 7: Beta Reader

If I have one, which I don’t always, then this is where I’ll send it to them. Usually what I want in a beta reader isn’t stuff like proof or copy editing, but rather “big picture” stuff. I want them to tell me: “this scene isn’t working” or “this feels contrived” or “I don’t like the main character.”

It can be frustrating and disheartening to get feedback that means I have to go back and do some major revising, but that’s why they’re there, bc often it’s either things I couldn’t see bc I’m too close to the story, or stuff I was in denial about (lol). Listening to my betas always leads to a better draft.

Step 8: Proofreading/Copyediting

The last step. I’ve done this professionally so I’m usually pretty good at finding typos and inconsistencies myself, but some people will hire someone like me to do that work bc they don’t have the skill or the time. Even if it’s “just for fun,” proofing is important bc it affects readability, and it’s embarrassing to me if I post something with glaring proof errors 😶.

~~~Anyway, that is roughly how my brain works. I don’t know if this is what you were expecting or wanting, but here it is!