#delete all of them at once....ough...
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Hi! Just wanted to say that i really love your content and think your artstyle's amazing!! Follow you on Twitter too and just wanted to ask how come you don't really post on tumblr anymore? I'm sure people here would also love to see your railao content! Hope you have a great day/night ^^
thanks! tbh i just forgot im thinking about just spamming here at once all of the drawings ive posted on twt over these past few months. maybe. perhaps
#or i can try posting like once each day but huh#im def going to forget#i'll spam everything later#i dont know if tumblr will like that tho so if i get supended its going to be silly silly#anyways yeah :]#i think this is also going to be the last ask i answer from past asks because i have to delete a lot of them and i think itd be easier to#delete all of them at once....ough...#ask
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#every once in a while ill go back after cleaning up music on my phone and relisten to old rock songs then redownload them#but im thinking. how the fuck did 3/4 of my immediate family listen to disturbed. just one song but huh#actually maybe 2.. also trapt? who the hell is that anyway we all just know headstrong 😭#i redownload and delete and redownload it all the time LMAO#skilet and three days grace and OH breaking benjamin we all listened to a lot too#and i say 3/4 bc i dont know what the fuck my dad likes? pit..bull..? lmfao..? thai music?? im so confused#FALL OUT BOY ALWAYS HITS#also that fucking. roach last resort shit. my brother still has it in his spotify playlist and it always makes me laugh so fucking hard#anyway i do rmr skillet and breaking benjamin being big bc we all liked it. also how did we all like disturbed but now none of them listen#to rock sob sob#also i used to share three days grace and fucking hollywood undead to my younger cousin??? what was wrong w me for sharing HU...#HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT THO?? its really funny LMAO#also evanescence but i found more songs on my own and ofc we together only kinda had uhh 2 songs#NUMB ENCORE.. I TOTALLY FORGET ABT IT AND IT BLOWS MY MIND EVERYTIME IT RESURFACES IN MY HEAD HOLY SHIT#BANGER but anyw my point was uhh smn smn sharing music is great and im happy we all bonded over rock before lol#44597#IDK I FORGOT HALF WAY IN 😭 GO ROCK!! im redownloading some of the shit i dont have again LMAO#OUGH ALSO NOBODY CARES BUT ME AND MY COUSIN R SO 06 ALL HAIL SHADOW PILLED#THAT WHEN MY BROTHER PLAYED THE OG ALL HAIL SHADOW I KID U NOT I WAS LIKE IS THAT A COVER WHAT VERS IS THIS#SORRY IM SO CRUSH40 PILLED I LITERALLY PLAYED SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG ON THE PS2 AND ON AN EMULATOR?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT#/LH BC ITS STILL GOOD BUT THAT IS NOT MY JAM. 06 IS WHERE ITS AT#crush40 was so good for sonic songs though esp all hail shadow and ungravitify OUGH crush40 versions r like almost always my fav#wait with movie and year of shadow ppl r going back n commenting all over this old yt upload of all of me from 11 years ago LMAOOO#dude they have to give knuckles kickass rap songs again PLEASE unknown from M.E makes me laugh so hard BUT ITS NOT BAD#AND PUMPKIN HILL ok that wasnt tehcnically his but it literally TALKS ABT KNUCKLES. ITS LITERALLY ABT HIM BRO#that ones funny to me bc my cousin loved it sm and he was legit like trying to hear the lyrics but he couldnntt#a ghost tried to approach me AND GOT MARRIED??? 🤨🤨 i cant take this song seriously ASLKDJS#CHECK YES JULIET.. JUST REALIZED MY BESTIES USED TO LIKE SOFT ROCK WITH ME?? they dont listen to that at all anymore omg
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greek themed elysian realm star rail arc i am awake and LISTENING
#personal stuff#delete later#FINALLY something i'm excited for. get me the hell out of penacony i've been here for a million years#ough. can't wait to come back to this trailer after the story and listen to all these themes and recognize the motifs#''the flame chase''. literal kevin copy. catgirl pardofelis standin. LITERAL ELYSIA COPY.............#most of the others bear Some resemblance to the flamechasers but seem to have their own designs#like the ''su''? i think that's who eyepatch guy is? he looks pretty cool. and the kids look cute. the griseo standin also looks neat#don't get me started on the kalpas standin. he's fine. has none of the appeal my guy kalpas had but whatever#there's no obvious standins for most of the Women though. maybe that's just cause they're not color-coded the same way#maybe once the story starts i'll have a clearer idea of who's supposed to be who#or you know they've probably combined multiple characters' traits into different characters#the way they have in the past w genshin and star rail#also just auuuuuuuuuugh. the way this is the saga of HEROES and the flame chasers' dedication to becoming heroes........help#what was it they said about references to the rest of the honkaiverse being just little things for old players.....#like i DO hope their stories are their own and we get to see something new with them fr. but it is funny to me that this keeps happening
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the jurist system seems really cool i hope they keep using it :-)
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🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "court" me any time
🧊 just--ice Follow
try.
🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. am i a suspect. because you can "try" me any time
🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. are you a lawyer. because you can "try" to "court" me any time
🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. am i on trial.
🌈 lawsbian Follow
i'm determined to make this work btw
🌈 lawsbian Follow
hey girl. law
🔪 violencekilling Follow
hey girl. are you a murderer. because ow ough ouch agh stop stabbing me
732,390 notes
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
guys watch out hes gonna shelly de kill you
293,485 notes
🎀 copiicat Follow
they called me to the witness stand and the defense attorney just shouted "BOOOOOO WE HATE YOUR PUSSY"
43,618 notes
🧇 edible-evidence Follow
look if i was on trial and the guy prosecuting me started advertising his music i'd just plead guilty. avoid the embarrassment of getting put in prison by a guy who basically used the trial to say "this blew up btw here's my soundcloud"
97,384 notes
⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
💞 lawveyourself Follow
didnt miles edgeworth defend someone in a case once
⛲ fountainoftruth Follow
do you know the difference between a prosecutor and a defense attorney
270,934 notes
💟 longingforyou Follow
being rivals isn't enough i need to kiss you
💟 longingforyou Follow
who the fuck is evil magistrate
💟 longingforyou Follow
STOP TAGGING THIS WITH LAWYERS?????
584,769 notes
🐈 nyattorney Follow
they hired a guy to stand in court and shout "GET A ROOM YOU TWO" whenever the lawyers start getting a little too homoerotic
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💥 courtroomchaos Follow
your honor i know all the evidence points to my client being guilty. but come on you have to admit he kinda ate right
💼 courtofwaw Follow
mia fey when they had phoenix wright on trial
20,475 notes
🔍 thuthseeker Follow
ok hot take but i feel like these lawyers should maybe not be allowed to drag literal children to court with them?? how many people have gotten genuinely actually fucking SHOT in court and they're just ok bringing fucking 8 year olds in?
12,475 notes
💼 courtofwaw Follow
happy almost christmas to all who celebrate
💫 dizzydreamers124 Follow
it's march
🎄 holidazed Follow
happy almost christmas :)
😈 knownjaywalker Follow
WHO is putting this on my dash
👁️ cymorgue Follow
STOP POSTING THIS. IT IS JUNE.
🐼 pandastar91 Follow
ITS ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!
1,589,589 notes
💽 platinumcourtrecord Follow
evil gavinners be like. innocent hate. this is a nothing post
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🥚 eggvidenced Follow
STOP asking me about the dl-6 post idc idc look even phoenix wright forged evidence once shut up
📕 lexculpatory Follow
he didn't forge the evidence, though. it was kristoph gavin who ordered the forgery. this was covered in the trial of vera misham. if you're going to try to compare yourself to well known figures, you could at least check the veracity of your claims.
🥚 eggvidenced Follow
yeah well. he might have. on a different case or something.
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🃏 thecourtjester Follow
i tried to take the bar exam but they didnt let me because i wasnt cunty and traumatized enough
57,384 notes
😇 innosense Follow
683,876 notes
🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow
when will global studios realize that i do not WANT another shitty steel samurai spinoff i just want the original show back
7,094 notes
⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
she present on my evidence til i reach a verdict
⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
WRONG BLOLG. DON'T REBLOG THIS. DELETE POST DELETE POST DELETE POST I SWEAR WE'RE PROFESSIONALS HERE
17,283 notes
👑 courtroyals Follow
"we need more great prosecutors" you guys couldn't even handle manfred von karma
🧊 just--ice Follow
didn't he kill someone?
👑 courtroyals Follow
irrelevant. you guys couldn't handle him.
587 notes
📋 lawandwhoreder Follow
law: i'm so law
lawyer, who needs to one up everyone no matter what: i'm more law than you
🏛️ lawyest Follow
hi
📋 lawandwhoreder Follow
you've got to be fucking kidding me
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🧊 just--ice Follow
why is it always murders with lawblr. why don't we ever talk about divorce or something
#ace attorney#ace attorney spoilers#dashboard simulator#dash simulator#dashboard sim#dash sim#unreality#fake dashboard#fake dash#post simulator#long post#this is just going to be a series now /lh#well. if i make any more. who knows#timeframe is sometime after the end of aa4 but before the start of aa5#the timeframe for these posts is of course always the exact point i'm at in my own playthrough /lh#some of these are based on real posts. but i'm hoping it is more inspiration rather than outright copying#if it is though i'm always willing to remove them#though i will not be removing the one that's based on my own post because that's mine /lh#i worry this may be an unnecessary sequel but who cares. who cares.
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I literally just remembered one of the ones I sent that got deleted. Not word for word but here's the whole thing:
Do you remember a little while back when u sent those pet play asks? The one with the really god bot and the really bad one humvee was training. I faintly remember something about the bad pet wanting to submit but struggling really hard. Let's expand on that, but instead of pet play it's brat taming flavored.
A really rude, abrasive bot with a tendency to blow up over little things gets tamed into the sweetest little thing by humvee. Maybe not a pacifist, but more likely to control their anger and speak politely to people. How did humvee do it? Well, it started when he noticed that this bot seemed really frustrated with themselves every time they got into an argument. He sees them struggling so hard to pull themselves out of it, and he can see a tinge of sexual frustration behind it all. Humvee, seeing the perfectly well-behaved sub under all the aggression, gets to work immediately.
He has to tie them down, not just as a sexy thing, but genuinely for their own safety and to help them slip into the right mind set. He probably gags them, he can deal with the vulgar language and sarcasm later, it's all about establishing a dynamic for the first few nights they spend together. When they try to forcefully get what they want despite the bonds, he pulls away. He doesn't even attempt building them up until they calm down. Attempts to yell despite the gag will result in delayed overloads. Only when they're holding still and whimpering prettily do they get to climax.
Then, he ups the anti. Just their hands are tied during full sessions, and the gag is lost. Misbehaving will result in more and more time spend being edged, and any aggression gets a physical reprimand like pinching their node or gripping their spike a bit too hard. This is where he starts mixing in demands with his already established expectations. Swift, eager, and mostly correct attempts to comply will get them several back to back overloads.
Then, he extends this outside of the bedroom. Any misbehaving in public gets them spanked. If he complies with demands, a vibrater attached to their spike and/or node will go off. It'll be a shock if they don't. They aren't allowed to touch themselves until humvee is ready to dish out another lesson. Eventually, this slow and stead approach wears them down into a more complaint, happier mechanism who gets into fewer fights. They seek rewards activity, and even admit to misbehaving willingly knowing it'll be a punishment because they know it's what's expected of them. Turning the bot from the worst brat cybertron had ever seen, into the perfect little sub, humvee has once again saved the day.
I LOVE THIS SO SO MUCH I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT OLD ASK
And ough,,, if only he could do this with Noxious. Sure he turns that bot from a "top" to a full sub but he's still a selfish, annoying asshole. I think this kind of training would be perfect to fix his attitude and make everyone like him more
And, if he continues his good behavior, Humvee might just call in his team and let them all have a go at this perfect little sub
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✄ any dvd bonus scenes from Sounds Like Pearls?
OUGH THANK YOU TOBI
DVD BONUS: pick a fic and I’ll describe or write a deleted scene!
Sounds Like Pearls was a foray into new territory for me, I'd only ever dabbled in writing age regression before this fic, so it's actually got quite a few scenes that got cut pretty late in the editing stages as I decided that I didn't like them or they weren't working for what I needed them to do.
The biggest deleted scene that comes to mind is one that I'd originally planned to include near the end of the fic, where Ed would let a few other trusted friends in on how he regresses sometimes. I'd thought this would be good for helping Ed come full circle from hiding it from everyone to knowing he can trust others to help him through it. There were a few cute scenes of Zheng, who works with Ed in the AU, just being comically bad at dealing with Ed in his little headspace, but ultimately I decided that it just felt more in-character for Ed to want to keep his regressions private.
And there was another scene late in the fic that made it all the way to the ao3 text box before I decided to cut it, where little Ed has a bad day and gets to be Mildly Naughty for Once. He is pouting, he is sulking, he is NOT eating his dinner. The scene wound up getting cut because the plot near the tail end there was really hinging around Stede struggling with adapting to Ed becoming much more self-sufficient and happy when he regressed, and the scene just didn't work with the whole the way I wanted. I do like it, I think it's important for little Ed to get to see that he wasn't a bad kid, and even if he was naughty, Stede wouldn't hate him or hurt him for it. Might expand the scene into its own oneshot one of these days!
Fic ask game!
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Knight I had a small angsty vision of the newest AU, while listening to Gods Mercy of all songs lmao
Actually it’s full on angst™️
Just,,,when all the Champions are captured, they get tortured to death instead of, idk, shooting them or something quick and relatively painless
Cause like Team RR is using them both as a show of power, but also what will happen to rebels and traitors if they don’t agree with Team RR
Imagine it being worse that they give E4 and gym leaders a change to join their side, cause they’re all strong trainer, before they label them as traitors, but not the Champions just to rub salt in the wound. Truly letting them know they have 0% chance of finding a way out of dying
Anyways yeah, Giovanni ordering them to stab Lance all over his body in non lethal parts, letting him slowly bleed out and watch the rest, Maxie ordering for Steven to be slowly burnt alive, Archie ordering the grunts to water board Wallace before finally drowning him, Iris being mauled to death by Dragon Types, just horrid deaths they all got
But wait ‼️‼️
What about SilkWing angst, like Giovanni ordering the grunts to kill Iris in front of Diantha and Lance, and both of them have to watch their practically get eaten alive. Them just screaming at the Leaders to let Iris live, saying “she’s only a teenager she doesn’t deserve this” “we don’t care what happens to us just let her go please”
But of course, Diantha’s gonna be next
Just Giovanni being an evil leader and killing Lances family in front of him before he dies himself
Also sorry if this is to much. Feel free to delete if you don’t want to answer this and just let me know so I don’t send something like this again
YOUR HONOUR THATS SO GOOD WHAT CBMDBCMDND
Oh love myself some torture fr fr if you have more concepts like this send em my way, man you don't understand I had like the whumpiest au back then in my old fandom and it low-key broke some people hahahaha the torture and abuse in that au was too much too ig but hey
Ough that's so good tho what the fuck😭😭😭 just bcmxbxmx yo idk this got me excited holy shit hahahah
Like, you know what would be so so fucked up SHIT FUCKING IMAGINE CHMDBXNDND if Lysandre knows just what would really fuck Diantha up, for not joining him, for wasting her beauty, for trying to stop him, is that instead of Dragon types being the ones to kill Iris, it's a pack of Houndoom. Like. She's literally being fed to the Houndoom and Diantha could only watch as she screams and writhes in her confines, screaming at Lysandre, cursing him, and Lysandre could only smirk as she watches her daughter get killed, and soon she'll follow suit
Like cjxncbmxbxsk OUGHHHHH IMAGINE TOO THO LIKE CNDNCBDN once all of the other Champions are dead and Lance is still around, Giovanni's there smirking at him, telling him that he must be missing a few people, he really wants to see just how Lance breaks. As if his daughter and wife wasn't enough fucking imagine Gio calls in the grunts and the other leaders to take Clair and Silver right where Lance is, and got them killed in front of him too cbmxnx like Gio's too deep within that rabbit hole that he had no problems having Silver killed, so Lance had to also watch his cousin and his son die before him man like csxjdmdjdkd
Ough bonus points if Lance is there just basically begging Giovanni to kill him, but for Gio that would be mercy, and why would he ever show him mercy y'know? Imagine if Gio and the other leaders kept him alive, making him watch as they destroy his home, his region, and the next will soon follow, he was forced to watch innocent people die, and Gio's there leaning close to him, forcing him to watch, "see how powerless you are? Are you truly still worthy of being called a Champion?" And he could only laugh as he watches the last bit of hope in Lance's eyes get extinguished, his defences crumbling, he was nothing more than a shell of his former self, and god did Giovanni revel in it.
#this is fucking amazing man holy shit hahahah#this brough back memories hahaha#dyk i actually called my old whump au the forbidden au hahahah#its that bad some people actually blocked it hahahh#idk man its always fun writing whump fr cbmdnd#like this was so fun its a fun concept cbmdjd hahaha#not that i condone this irl ofc fiction is different from rl#but ough... theres just smth abt it yknow#its thrilling in a way hahaha#even my friend said its hard to be my characters bc i love giving them angst🤣🤣#but hey hahaha#pokemon champions#pokemon au#an ask and an answer#jerseyk112
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totk spoilers
just finished the ending
WOW
i cant put it into words. each moment gripped me. I was like "meh come on" at the beginning in the castle, thinking this was NOT gonna be hard, that this was going to be disappointing like BOTW. but no... no...
it felt like a movie, but in the way a game should feel like a movie. I made sure to go in there with my champions tunic, my master sword, and everyone with me (before purah required* me too lol)
it was built up so well. first with the 4 terminals that were zelda (AND "ZELDA" CALLING TO YOU... OUGH. her voice was very... off in a way and i liked that.
then all the fights, and then going down... they gave link a little more emotion I LOVED WHEN THE SAGES SHOWED UP I WAS POGGING FOR REAL... the part with going back to lookout landing was a bit.. eh. but i guess thats good to like., have for those who were not prepared...
DIVING DOWN... EXPLORING... i felt everything they wanted me to. dread. fear. melancholy. loneliness. When the sages suddenly vanished, i felt more anxious and alone, less secure. i wanted my friends with me.
Then finally, I reached the final boss. Ganon sent his army, and that was great, then all the bosses showed up and i thought i had to fight them all at once !! ! but thankfully you dont,, but ALSO your friends leave you AGAIN! ! ! no!!! dont leave me :(
Then the fight... ganondorf was INTIMIDATING. this was SUCH an upgrade to botw. When HE FLURRY RUSHED BACK AT YOU! WHEN HE DID ALL THOSE SICKASS MOVES AND BACKFLIPPED AND REALLY JUST., WALKED TOWARDS YOU SLOWLY... AND THET WAY HIS MOVEMENTS ARE LIKE SAMURAI (I THINK, I HOPE, IT JUST LOOKS LIKE HOW THE WAY HE RUNS-- THIS WOULD INSINUATE HE'S OLD FASHIONED WHICH IS A GREAT DETAIL!) THEN TEH SECOND PHASE AND HOW HIS HEALTH BAR GETSE FUCKING BIGGER ! ! ! YES PUT FEAR INTO MY HEART MY EYES WERE BUGGIN OUT and then YOUR FRIENDS COME BACK ! ! ! Then when you finally get him, you're alone again and I LOVE HOW HIS GLOOM IS SO POWERFUL IT FULLY DELETES YOUR HEARTS SO YOU CANT FOODSPAM OR YOU NEEDED TO PREPARE GLOOMFOOD FOR IT. then the dragon...
oh i knew he was gonna swallow that fucking stone the minute he put his hand there i was LOSING IT.
HOW GHIBLI-ESQUE. HOW CINEMATIC. HOW AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND WONDERFUL AND EVERYTHING BOTW/TOTK SHOULD BE ! ! ! ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE TRIFORCE TOGETHER, FIGHTING, WITH ZELDA AND GANON AS MASSIVE DRAGONS-- ONE OF WHICH YOU RIDE WHICH I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT AND THEN HOW EPIC IT IS TO FLY DOWN THERE AND GET HIS LITTLE BACK SPOTS ouuuuuugh the flying was amazing and so wonderful and its always felt wonderful! ! ! then how cinematic was the fucking ENDING WITH HELPING OUT ZELDA AND HOW IT STRIPS LINK IS A LITTLE WEIRD BUT IT MAKES SENSE TO HOW OFF HIS ARM AND MAKE SURE HE ISNT IN A STUPID OUTFIT
how magical the scenery... and when link just fell back, and how you castle of cagliostro down to grip her, and how it parallels the beginning scene with accidentally letting her go which is why this whole thing happened.
the ending... when she said she was "home"... ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
im not normal and im going to be writing a fic about her recovery and making her more sad and angry and hurt for the hurt/comfort.
all in all, 1000000000000000/10 ending. im disappointed in the zonai lore and how this did not feel like a sequel but this is a great game and it made me care so much about Zelda... I care her so fucking much she is living in my brain
*not sure if doing all that is required or if you can go to ganon straight away
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SIEO48WKEHE- if it's alr with you, I'll start putting (Efficiency) at the top of my asks so you know what I'm talking about LOL
Hey Coding, get ur shizz kicked
○●○
Efficiency is best. That's what it knows and it agrees with. The Coding has the USBs backing it.
So why are the Guardians fighting back? They're in pain, they know they're in pain, and yet they're fighting against the Coding.
Why can't they understand its for the safety of the Avatar?
It clenches their own coding, tighter. It watches through 1s and 0s as the Guardians collapse. The Avatar and unknown variables run up. It watches as Guardian 3 pushes one away, the Avatar's brother, it concludes.
The Coding had no control over them. But it had control over the Guardians.
It oversteps the limit. It already has permission for the indefinite factory reset, so any other limits will surely be forgiven.
It tightens the code more and more around the Guardians. It squeezes and activates the factory reset. Again. Again. Again. Again.
Efficiency. It needs efficiency. It didn't understand, what are the Guardians not understanding?
Was it the unknown variables?
... or was it the Avatar?
It deletes that thought. That's outrageous. The Avatar was the Avatar. Simple as that. But still. Something had to be done about the Avatar's behavior.
It lashes out once more. Maybe if it-
It's yanked back. It's own coding is ripped from the Guardians, making them collapse on the floor. Their breathing is ragged, but they're alive.
querey: what_is_Coding.1&2&3&4_attempting
It lashes out. No! Efficiency! It had been so close and yet-!
It feels its permission to the factory reset be yanked away.
restate.querey: what_is_Coding.1&2&3&4_attempting
The Coding tries feebly, but it cannot move. It's so close. Yet so far.
It watches as efficiency falls away. All because of the USBs.
of course it's alright!!! & understood ^^
OUGH HELL YEAH GET FUVKED CODING!!!! EATS UP WRITING. THE WAY U WRITE IS SO GUD... THE CODE ... EVERYTHING!!!!
THE MENTAL IMAGE OF SMG4&3 COMING IN & OUT OF FACTORY RESET MODE, TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF THE SMALL MOMENTS OF CONSCIOUSNESS THEY GET TO HAVE BEFORE GOING UNDER CONSTANTLY, TRYING TO FIGHT, TRYING TO HAVE THEIR LIFE BACK, IS TERRIFYING/POS
& THEN THEY'RE!!!! THEY'RE FREE!!!!! HOLY SHIT LET'S GOOOOO THEY'RE PROBABLY SCARED SHITLESS BUT HOLY WOOOOOO
USBS I LUV U
ah am... imagining as the guardians regain their footing & mind, after like...a few minutes. 4 starts screaming because of pure stress. idk why but i had an mental image & i love it.
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for the ask game: 32 13 26 29 24 11 34 17 18 5 35 30 33 39 16 31 68 10 7 19 3 36 50 20 4 21 12 25 28 15 38 1 23 37 9 27 2 14
tee hee
SCREW YOU I AM ANSWERING THEM IN THE ORDER YOU SENT THEM.
32) How do you feel about smut? I am asexual so its kind of nasty to me but I also have morbid curiosity
13) What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across? UH I think the best writing advice I've ever seen is the one about practicing a ton because that's really just what it is. "Write what you want no matter how cringe or if you think no one will enjoy it because there will always be at least one person that will enjoy it" Write for yourself and keep practicing, write whatever you want.
26) Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you? no if you try and make me edit my fics I will kill you
29) If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose? I don't know if I would write anything like a continuation of a fic but I do enjoy asking to write something inspiried by other people bc like its silly anyway let me see.
I don't know if I would want to write a continuation to this fic bc the author does it SO well and I don't think I could do it any better but its such a good series that I OUGH
24) Have you ever deleted one of your published fics? yes. I have deleted everything on my fanfiction.net account which I don't remember how many fics was published, about 14 I think but I deleted all of them. I do not want to say what they are on tumblr but Sky, you know
11) Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby? this is my passion I am a writer, I would not be Phantom if not writing, I am a writer first and foremost and a person second
34) What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con? ICK ICK ICK ICK ICK ICK ICK why is this a question
17) Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? Start to finish usually, sometimes I start writing a scene and then that just becomes the whole fic because then I just don't write an actual beginning to the scenes
18) Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? no? I do not know what tools these would be
5) Share one of your strengths. descriptions are my favorite thing ever they are my babygirls I love Descriptsions. I also am really good at subtly changing perspectives in the middle of fics, is this a good skill to have? idk it depends on the fic. But I think its cool.
35) Would you ever kill off a canon character? would I kill a character like IN canon or would I kill a canonical character in a fic? bc in canon the only character I would genuinely kill is Filipe bc I hate him so much. But also I have written character death fics, I might write one for bitb but that's just gonna be canon adjacent so not really. I won't normally kill a character outside of it
30) Do you accept prompts? If you do it in the comment of a fic, no I will probably be very annoyed by you. But honestly like yeah sometimes. Mutuals can send me fic ideas at any point in time, I might not write them but like yeah I do accept prompts I just might not write them
33) How do you feel about crack? I don't really like it, I don't hate it but some of it just straight up feels like shock factor for shock factor. I've only w ritten it once and never again.
39) Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them? No, I don't ever actually get hate but I do just get really really weird comments sometimes and I do not understand them and they are just weird
16) If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be? uh oh no. Either Nightmare blunt rotation or polypd
31) Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant? Canon is mere guidelines and I very rarely follow them lol. With Riptide I do not understand canon enough to make a ton of canon adjacent fics, same thing w Prime defenders. I just very rarely understand canon enough to actually w rite something adjacent
68) you are just giving me fake numbers
10) Which fic has been the easiest to write? I don't know like any specific fic, but fluff is very easy for me to write just because it takes the least mental energy to create. It's silly and I like writing it. Usually a good bit of my fluff fics were probably really easy to write, I cannot remember any specific fic that was easy.
7) Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
Something human (and yet it wasn’t), something alive, something dead (something that wasn’t supposed to be dead or alive), a monster, a spirit, a demon. Something not right, not normal… unfamiliar. Something unsavory, blasphemous, corrupted. Something incomprehensible.
Something that didn’t belong because saturation didn’t belong. Colors didn’t belong because everyone had forgotten what colors are like. Everyone forgets what colors they were supposed to be when the memories were long faded. The only color they ever had was white, the white of bones. The darkness of the churning clouds or the gray of the swaying grass.
And yet. Still, something that did belong. Because it too was a memory, a faded… flickering memory. Its form was so corrupted by the flames it was consumed in that the fading shone differently. It was different. It was unknown. It had no idea where it was supposed to be or what it was supposed to be doing. It didn’t know what it was. Just a flickering mass of something that used to be. An ember, a glowing, blue ember that spreads like droplets of blood in a lake.
A remnant, a memory (a dream created by a much more powerful creature), a ghost, a spirit, a human, a monster, or some unholy blasphemy against god. What was it supposed to be?
Its face was shrouded in a blue that was much too saturated, a color that was too bright. It made it impossible to see its features or what it was supposed to look like. It didn’t even know what it was supposed to look like. Who it was supposed to be. What it was supposed to be. Human? It took the vague shape of a human. But shapes and forms were misleading… shaky… wrong… Formation didn’t make sense here. Anything could pose as a human when there weren’t the same laws to confine them. But it was sure that it was supposed to look human.
What was it supposed to look like? What form was it supposed to take? The flickering blue flames that corrupted it seem to glow a little brighter as if reinforcing their claim over its trembling form.
This isn't my favorite piece of prose because that's a very very hard thing to choose but from this fic which I am genuinely very proud of because I REALLY love this fic and I think that the prose is super fun. I just wanted to make it as spacy and confusing as possible like you do not know what is going on throughout the entirety of it. I also really like the juxtaposition of all the different phrases to describe William because he doesn't know what he is or what he is supposed to be so it's just very very confusing and it's like that on purpose.
19) Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse? ????????? Stephen king is an interesting man. I guess my muse is JRWI bc that's what I've been writing the most fic over I suppose, these characters are my muse.
3) Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole? soulmate aus. I hate it so much
36) Which is your favorite site to post fic? archive of our own
50) you are literally just sending me fake numbers bestie
20) Describe your perfect writing conditions. Average temperature, not to warm, not too cold, a nice cushioned chair and possibly a blanket, my water bottle within reach and nothing in my body hurting ever because it will be kind to me, having the blinds open with the sun shining and the window open so I can have fresh breeze
4) How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them? UH quite a few, I constantly have fic ideas in my head I am always thinking of new things to write and new things to do. One of my current ideas that I dont know if I will post is William body horror poking n proding in organs
21) How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? Usually I don't, I'll just write it, throw it through grammarly and then post it
12) Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more? an episode? Like just any episode of anything? UH?????? I have no idea genuinely. I do not remember any episodes of anything ever. I guess episode 3 of bitb? idk
25) What do you look for in a beta? a non corporeal form (I do not look for a beta)
28) Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. NYXXXXXXXXXX NYX NYX NYX NYX I love Nyx's writing so so so so so so so much oh my god all of its writing makes me absolutely insane its just sooooo good and I love it dearly. All of its fics are just so soft and theres something so whimsical about the writing style that just makes me ough
PeriPerson VERY Good writing I eat it so much. Something about their wrting just makes me sooo oough its described so well and I love the writing style
Achilleshq MRrrbghghgmmg descriptions so good very very very good Their writing is just ogmuguhghjhx <3
15) If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose? do you recognize the bodies in the water I am just very proud of this fic and I think that it would make a cool film
38) Talk about a review that made your day. Got asked if I ever considered a career as an author and that made me very very happy because YES! I HAVE! That's my dream job and has been since I was a kid and it really made my day to be asked that
1)Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic. characters cuddling, soft touches, over indulgent descriptions, focusing way too much on describing one thing. UHH. Probably only two characters because I have a hard time writing more than that at once.
23) If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why? I would revise my first pjo fic on ao3 because it's like 200 words cuddling fic thats very bad and I want to see how much better I can do because I know how to describe now and I know how dialogue works and I want to see how I could do it differnetly.
37) Talk about your current wips. For the fnaf bitb au I'm planning on at least two more chapters for it with just describing all the spooky stuff happening at night and I am very excited to write it because unlike the games, Rand is not confined to the office and can and will walk around the pizzaria which is gonna be a little silly goofy also the animatronics just make me a little tee hee. This isn't really a WIP because I have no actually writing on paper but I want to write more apotheosis fics
9) Which fic has been the hardest to write? the halloween fic. I don't know why it's so hard but I cannot write it oh my god it haunts me. But if we;'re going off of completed fics that was really hard to write u8h The fic I wrote with the alternate ending to pd ep 10 was also pretty hard just because I couldn't figure out how I wanted to write that or whatever idk I'm so exhausted rn. this fic
27)How do you feel about collaborations? I am not good at working with other people also I don't really know what a collaboration would be or how to do one so. I guess not well? Idk???? I am a solo kind of guy
2) Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to? not really a trope but I think I need to write more toxic relationships it's very interesting to me, that and more smoking fics. I wanna write a shotgunning fic tbh but I just have not gotten around to do that. What else have I not done that I want to do? IDK what tropes are there?????
14) What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across? Something something don't use said or whatever, the show don't tell argument because it's super nuanced and usually any sort of writing advice giving that show don't tell thing is not going to describe in enough detail to actually be beneficial because there are SO Many nuances behind it. Uh, I don't really listen to writing advice because I am self confident and a bit of an egotist when it comes to writing so that's probably it.
I am so freaking tired you can probably see my deteriorating state as this list goes on, I don't even know what one you left off all I know is I am so tired.
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Chapter 13- Part 1
So now that we’ve got the gate open and we’re all healed once again, we’ve got a whole left side to deal with on this floor. I’m sure this guy is gonna be aggressive, so let’s do it!
Alright, not too scary. We’ll start with Harden, then start launching Incinerates.
OUGH- Hyper Fang did more than I was expecting! Okay, let’s just…heal Caldera with a Potion, then start attacking. It definitely helps when Quick Claw procs.
It helps when Hyper Fang misses as well.
And it DEFINITELY helps when the Quick Claw procs again! What the heck is Caldera’s luck?
Hmmm…Caldera should be fine for this, Fire-types resist Fairy-types.
Caldera has Clear Smog, so we’ll attack with that.
Uuuuh…less than ideal, but…maybe Incinerate will do more damage?
See, if Caldera could naturally outspeed this Swirlix, this would be fine, but- she can’t. So, I’d better switch out- let’s go with Blizzard.
Literally any attack will take it down, with how low its HP is-
Oh, Shellos! That’s even better for Blizzard to take on!
One Razor Leaf is all it’ll take to delete this slug from- oh wait, it lived that? And now it’s using Hidden Power? Alright, whatever, next turn we’ll just have to-
WHA-HUH????? Super effective AND a one-hit KO!? Why did that do so much damage!? Was its Hidden Power Fire-type!?
Shoot- alright, let’s try Decibel to finish the job!
Just Gust it, that should be enough-
He should for what you did to Blizzard!! What the heck!! Now I gotta go back down and heal again-
And now we…see what’s up with these computers?
Aaaah, here are the quiz questions! It’s about time those became relevant! Aha-
…Wait, but…but Starmie’s a Stone evolution, it doesn’t- it doesn’t learn moves naturally, they’re all…Lv. 1…
Oh wow, that wasn’t a trick question or anything-
And there are a TON of books and I did not read all of them, so if I’m stuck, I’ll just consult Bulbapedia. Next question!
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my bg3 favs….. fighting the urge to say all of them bc they all hold a special place in my heart 😭 but if I HAVE to pick, I’d say Astarion and Halsin!! To me, they are everything I once was and everything I wish to be, respectively. I just started a resist durge playthrough just so I can romance Astarion again as if I didn’t literally just make saves for Gale AND Shadowheart that I fully intended on finishing. I go poly with them and make up little scenarios in my brain that I pretend are canon that makes Halsin’s addition to the relationship feel more natural. Desiring them so carnally almost feels a little selfcest-y with how much of myself I see in them (Astarion especially) But I don’t care bc they’re hot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I know you’ve talked about them before but I’d love to hear more about your favs if you have thoughts you wanna share 🥰
fighting the urge to say all of them so SO real i fear - i started this game and obsessed over astarion and have quickly fallen in love with the entire cast 😭 though if i were to rank the companions (story preferences character etc) it would like this - astarion / gale + shadowheart / wyll / halsin / lae’zel / karlach / jaehira + minsc / minthara
i do have a balant self insert druid and druge where i plan to romance both astarion and halsin and i also have Many. Many Ideas about them i fear……OUGH !!!
i have far too many saves tbh i should delete some but im attached to all of them 😔
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Idea that’s been driving me insane: Nicholas tenses up whenever anyone touches him because he’s not used to it, Milligan asks what’s wrong, and Nicholas is like “oh haha nothing at all why do you ask”. So Milligan decides “all right then I guess I’ll give him some space so then he can initiate if he wants but also I won’t startle him”.
This would be a perfectly fine plan if not for the fact that Nicholas would never in a million years ask for a hug. Angsty shenanigans ensue.
OHHHH ANON MY MIND TO YOUR MIND MY THOUGHTS TO YOUR THOUGHTS I LITERALLY HAVE A FIC BASED ON THIS IDEA (or a very similar version anyway) WE ARE THE SAME WE ARE THE SAME MELDING W/ YOU
i wanna say i touched on this in one of my published fics but im not sure? and i know i have a doc somewhere specifically about a similar idea to this like.
here. bonus. i make ao3 drafts for fic ideas to help me brainstorm/organize thoughts and this one i quickly realized was going to delete itself before i ever finished it--which i never did--so i copied it into a word doc. here is the summary:
(i have a snippet of this posted somewhere that's like he tenses first but rhonda keeps hugging him bc she was really worried about him and then just as she thinks maybe she should pull away before he gets uncomfortable he melts and she's like "oh fuck")
BUT ANYWAY
like. just. the misunderstandings of it all. the angst. because see this is just projection again, i, personally, like. am like. do i want a hug? oh for sure. would i die if a stranger touched me? for sure. and an unexpected touch would sitll probably get a jump from me. so like. it's this dilemma where by the time i'm used to someone's company enough that i'd welcome physical affection, they've already gotten the memo i don't like being touched, and so don't try. but i hate asking for anything, ever, and that would feel really weird, so i don't. hence affectionless. no bitches (bitches being. scritches)
so like. nicholas tensing when he's touched at first both because he's not used to it and he doesn't know them, (god and with milligan. milligan thinking it might have something to do with Him, with him being scary/big/intimidating, but neither of them say anything so neither of them know) and then like. then once he's comfortable enough to desperately want be okay with touch from them, it's too late. bonus if like. now he might react strangely when he's accidentally touched because he's trying not to get used to it, trying not to greedily want more, so they still think he's kinda touch-averse when the opposite couldn't be more true. and just. ough
but okay okay okay okay okay okay to focus more on what you actually said in the ask rather than my existing idea i just started vibrating over, YES. FUCK. i always love focusing on nicholas/milligan (romantic or not) i'm a whore like that
it specifically being because he's not used to it.... 🥺 like. oohhhh.... its the tense and after a moment melt but they never wait along enough because they just see the tense,,,, oguhguhuhhhh and with milligan it's like. i don't want to startle him, i don't want to make him uncomfortable, i'll try to give him space... worse, this means he was touching him at first and then stopped, so like. nicholas is just like oh god i did something wrong i must have made him uncomfortable did he noticed i liked it?? oh god this is mortifying
god the problem is how does this get resolved. because we know we want it to be. but like. HOW. i like to think similarly to what i was saying before there's just. there's a situation harrowing enough that he hugs him anyway--whether because it was so distressing he just needs to know nicholas is okay and just. hugs him tightly. or if it's like, literally, having to carry him somewhere because he's injured and they need to get out fast, and like. realizing that past the initial tensing, he relaxes, he leans into it, and having that "oh shit. i. fucked up" moment.
ORRR!!!!! nicholas gets distressed enough to initiate somehow, like. he's really really out of it and whether it's him being openly distressed (clinging to him and shaking/crying, maybe already apologizing) or just him being super loopy and out of it (cuddly totally out of it bc he's been drugged to the gills nicholas just like. snuggling into his side like :))) *casually* oh i looooove cuddles this is so nice..........mmm u are warm...i wish we could do this more often but im trying not to be selfish...... or some shit and milligans just like. cursed emoji face. what)
not to mention nicholas like. realizing milligan might have thought he thought it was specifically milligan who was scary/he didn't want touching him lkdfjgfdg god fuck
this hurts me.
but the flluffy epilogue is it all gets sorted and there's cuddles for everyone and just. melting. melting. realizing you could have had this all along but you can't even be sad about it bc you feel so safe & loved...... ough (positive)
#now by canon time they all seem fairly affectionate#but also like. i could see it still being like#he's restraining himself a lot#but allowing himself little things#long post#askbox#anonymous#mbs disney#nicholas benedict#milligan wetherall#mr benedict#milligan#the mysterious benedict society#mysterious benedict society#tmbs#mbs#mysteriousfisherman#ok jsut wanted to finish this ask up before. homeowrk time 😔
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related to that last ask but now i actually have a question! what are your favourite episodes for amy as a character? (sorry if i��m pestering you btw you don’t have to answer right away ❣️)
it is absolutely never a bother for me to talk about amy pond!! gosh though this is a Question. okay. i did interpret this as episodes that are my favorite for the lens of My Understanding Of Amy instead of favorite pond era episodes as a whole if that makes sense? under the cut bc i got long as i tend to do
i think my number 1 has to be the big bang, because it really is just like. okay, pond era absolutely runs into the problem of frequently making stories/episodes that should be centered around amy's emotional journey actually about somebody else — but the big bang is all hers. it is all on her! she's leading the show SHE'S the one in the pandorica SHE'S the one who remembers the doctor into existence it is HER choice to say goodbye to leadworth and continue to travel completely without remorse SHE IS THE HERO. it goes from "time can be rewritten, he'll find a way" to AMY being the one who finds the way. rory and river and the doctor all of course get their Moments but it's unquestionably amy's spotlight moment the whole way through
i have also ALWAYSSS been obsessed with starless universe amelia and the way that she still believes in stars in a world where they DON'T EXIST the power of her mind and the conviction of her beliefs is a CORE TENET of amy's character, the doctor has NOTHING to do with it!!! it's just who she is !!! best character of all time <3
other things about the amy's writing in this episode i love: the line "the universe pouring into her dreams every night," space florida outfit <3, ok i obviously do not love this but i think so much about amy talking about the doctor at her wedding and her mother is still like "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN… i thought the psychiatrists FIXED her" like once again !!! a UNIVERSAL CONSTANT that amy is the one who believes in things nobody else does and is LOUD about it and is RIGHT !!! (let's kill hitler tried to retcon this but it simply won't work on me ❤️ just like anything else about the let's kill hitler flashbacks ❤️❤️❤️), OKAY DOCTOR DID I SURPRISE YOU THIS TIME? <3
number 2, i think, is the eleventh hour itself? like it's just… i've rewatched it so many times and it's still the most captivating character introduction i have ever seen. i know i'm biased but i love it so much. her introduction as a clearly neglected seven year old girl (constantly think about the deleted line that has her talking to aunt sharon and saying "you're not supposed to leave me, i'm seven!" WOOF) who's not afraid of anything except for the crack in her wall… she has drawings up all over her house of burning houses, she draws smiley faces into her apples bc her mom used to do that, she can cook for herself way better than i could at seven, and she desperately just wants to leave. but when the doctor tells her he'll be back in five minutes, amy is already so used to adults leaving her and breaking their promises that she doesn't believe him. but he makes her believe anyway. and he doesn't come back.
and all of the rest of her character hinges on that introduction — of course she has to believe him, he was REAL, nobody can take his realness away from her even if she is the only one who believes. but he also left her all alone for so long, just like everyone else who was supposed to be there for her did, so what good does that to her? so yeah of course she grows up angry and bitter and hiding those layers of hurt deeply under the surface, scorning all attachment and serious relationships because she knows she can't trust them. she outwardly distances herself from her childhood self by changing her name but she IS still just such a child inside.
she's not ready to settle, to grow up, to become what everyone in her tiny village wants her to be, thinks that she should be — so when she gets the chance to GO, of course she takes it. but she's also not just going to let the doctor off the hook for [gestures] her entire life, you know? the exchanges "people always say that" "i'm not people, do i even look like people?" | "people always have a reason" "do i look like people?" "Yes." always just GUT ME. she may trust him but it's NOT a blind trust, it can't be.
number 3 has to be the beast below it just makes me SCREAM how good that episode is at really developing amy through her compassion for other people — right from the start she sees that kid crying and she thinks the doctor must ignore stuff like this all the time, and she says that she could never do that. she's learning and intuiting leaps and bounds about the doctor with everything he says to her — which is another one of my favorite amy character traits, the way she is SO quick to pick up on things about other people and analyze them. everything that she picks up about the doctor allows her to KNOW what to do to save the star whale, allows her to be confident in the fact that the star whale wanted to help the whole time. the choice is IN HER HANDS she IS THE HERO <3 as she always should be. you couldn't just stand there and watch people cry! all that pain and misery and loneliness and it MADE IT KIND. i don't care how overused that quote is it still HITS !!!
um. number 4 is the girl who waited but my very specific headcanon-ridden interpretation and cutting out all that garbage "rory's the most beautiful man i've ever met" "defying destiny causality the nexus of time itself for a boy" bullshit. idk there's so many terrible things about this episode but it also gave me so much to think about when it comes to amy it's on my mind a LOT. one thing i think about is the way it parallels amy's first abandonment by the doctor — not just in the obvious sense but in the way that she's actively fighting for her life in a hostile atmosphere, but nobody else SEES it as a hostile atmosphere. the two streams facility is leadworth like it really is. and what adds a more chilling component is the way the handbots signature line is "do not be alarmed, this is a kindness" — like all the people who were trying to convince amy she was crazy throughout her entire childhood really thought they were doing her a kindness. they thought they were helping her. but they were killing her. because she wasn't made for that environment.
beyond that i am just obsessed with 36-years-later amy she is an icon she is a legend she is the moment i don't care! every mean thing she said about the doctor and rory was absolutely deserved and in fact she should have been so much meaner! she is SO SMART she makes her own SONIC PROBES OUT OF CAMERA PHONES the fact that she even was able to SURVIVE THAT LONG and in COMPLETE isolation and still retain her own mental faculties is just insane to me it speaks so much about her insane mental strength oh my god it makes me sooo emotional i am tearing up a little typing this right now.
i just am always THINKING about the line "there he is, the voice of god. number one lesson: survive, because no one's coming for you. you taught me that" it says SO MUCH about her. oh my god older amy didn't want to die she'll be kicking and screaming and fighting til the end… i fucking hate this show and picking and choosing when paradoxes should apply OLDER AMY DESERVED TO LIVE
number 5 is probably the power of three but my own very headcanon infused interpretation of it. because it's like. the ultimate miscommunication/misunderstanding that exists between amy and the doctor coming to a head. where amy in 7.02 is like "i can't not wait for you, even now. (…) we think you're weaning us off you" (that line always makes me slow exhale … the phrasing of the doctor as a drug) and the doctor keeps insisting that's not true, "you'll be there until the end of me" "or vice versa" (and they have that loaded held stare and you know they're both thinking about what he said to her before he left in the god complex…)
but it's not until this episode where amy starts to actually believe he means it. at the same time she's spent so much TIME preparing for the inevitable moment where the doctor says goodbye and doesn't say hello ever again that she's not willing to fully hope that the doctor really means it when he says that he would never leave her permanently on purpose. and i love that this episode gives amy a lot of space to verbally communicate her emotions because the later pond episodes SORELY LACK THAT. and amy tells him, don't be nice to me, don't stop coming around just because you think that's the kind thing to do. even though she says herself that she doesn't know if she can have "both" — she knows that she can tell the doctor to stay, in her own way, and that he'll listen.
ideally they would have just gone off traveling together forever after that and the angels take manhattan did not happen but unlike what the doctor says about amy, i don't ever get what i want 🙃
also, this episode gave amy friends that weren't rory or the doctor or river so i love it for that on principal <3 i know amy had fun being the bridesmaid at laura's lesbian wedding. and kate!!
( i do hate that this episode ends with that conversation between brian and the doctor. i hate brian as a character and i will forever. won't get into this right now but OUGH )
honestly this list is kind of wobbly and might change if you asked me in a month so i'll just rattle off other favorite episodes / moments real quickly: the good night minisode (it counts!), RIVER SONG DIDN'T GET IT ALL FROM YOU SWEETIE (timeline frozen amy my beloved!), "i remember it so it happened so i did it," vincent and the doctor specifically when vincent tells amy that he hears the song of her sadness…. ow, i could write a whole other essay about amy's choice and how it is so much more complex than people give it credit for but this post is already so goddamn long
#i literally do apologize for how long this got but you have to understand i was holding myself back .#she is…. everything. to me. i could keep going for so long#amy pond#ask#jonismitchell
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Everything but the kitchen table
The Hale house holds so much pain from the past for Derek, but it also holds so much potential for the future. Is he willing to let go of the charred remains in order to open the door and see it rebuilt? And what if all that pain and guilt is the only thing keeping him from the one thing he always gets lead back to. Is he really ashes in the ground or will Stiles be able to show him that he's a phoenix only in need of a spark?
This is part two to Totem poleing through the woods 101. This is also for sterek week 2019 the prompt movie night, but it kinda got away from me.
Derek heard something faintly coming down the driveway, so he turned his blaring music down. He was surprised to hear the old jeep rattling quite close to the house. Stiles was on bed rest for at least another week. The pack had been taking turns keeping him occupied during the days, and everyone found out quickly, operation 'keep Stiles off his sprained ankle' was no fun. Issac still will not speak of the day he ran out of adderall because he forgot to call the pharmacy. It was only two before the sheriff could run them his back up he kept at his office, but Isaac still gets a look of horror if you say 'I'm bored'.
It wasn't Derek's turn for a couple more days and Stiles wasn't supposed to be driving.
Derek quickly took off his dust mask, goggles, and dropped his sledgehammer while he heard squeaky breaks and gravel flying.
Derek took the steps two at a time, but by the time he opened the door Stiles was already out of his jeep and leaning against it.
"Oh haei erig. Ow es et oing?"
"What are you doing here? What have I said? Wait for help stupid!"
Stiles glared, and considering he was carrying a giant bag, filled with curly fries and burgers by stuffing it in his mouth, it lost some of its intended harshness. "Ood. I ough fouud."
Derek took the slightly slobbery bag of food out of Stiles' mouth.
"Ahh thanks man." Stiles, with one hand, kept stuffing things into a duffel bag that some how exploded mid drive, the other he used to keep his nonexistent balance.
"I'm not sure if whatever you just tried to pass off as words were words, but if they were, was it the answer to my question?"
Stiles stilled his shoving. "Derek it is too early in the morning for you to be confusing me like that. That was too many Ws for eight in the morning on a Saturday."
Derek rubbed his face in annoyance. "Stiles. What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" He gestured wildly except for 'you' he pointed at Stiles and for 'here' he pointed at the ground.
"And like I said before, Rude! I brought food." Stiles resumed his one handed shoving.
"Okay so you came over here to bring food, for yourself, to eat in front of me?"
Stiles looked offended. "I, unlike you! Have manners. I brought your favorite."
Derek rolled his eyes. "That is from a burger place on the edge of town. We've never been there together, and the teens that work there get cranky when you order more than seven burgers, so we don't do it for pack night. You don't know my favorite."
"Double cheese burger, no pickles, no mustard, extra onions, and ranch to dip it in. You heathen. Large vanilla shake with a medium regular fry. Bitch."
Derek looked stunned. "How do you possibly know that? We've neve-"
"I'm magic."
Derek gave him the 'oh yeah and I'm the king of leather jackets' eyebrows.
Looking back he didn't know why he named them that, he is the king of leather jackets. Hot damn.
"Erica mentioned it once. The no pickles thing really makes her distrust you, me, I'm more concerned about the ranch thing." Stiles finally finished packing and put the bag over his shoulder. He tried reaching his crutch in the back, but it had shifted in the drive. He couldn't quite reach it. Derek opened the back door and as Stiles' fingertips barely grazed it Derek pulled it out and brought it up to him.
"I had it. But thank you."
He propped himself up with the crutch, then he started looking for his phone which disappeared.
"Alright. Okay, off track. Why did you come to eat here? Why did you leave? You aren't supposed to be driving. I told you if you needed anything to text! I would've brought you food. Wait who was with you today?!"
"Here's the thing, I know your order and you don't know mine. Because you're a selfish prick that doesn't care about me." Stiles stuck out his bottom lip.
"Oh shut up Mr. Two large curly fries, diet coke, and bacon cheese burger! And I don't need you here if you'r- wait... Uggh, Stiles! You did that on purpose. You're trying to distract me, or trick me. You tried to make me angry on purpose!"
Stiles looked back up at him from where he was bent over to look under the seat. "Making the other angry is a defining characteristic of our relationship." He turned back. "And I don't see wh-"
"I want to know who you conned to get here, and I want it to be the next thing out of your mouth."
Derek could smell that Stiles was uncomfortable before he sighed and began speaking. "It was supposed to be my dad, but his days off don't always go as planned. Since he could be called in, Scott was on standby. So my dad Facebook messaged him, don't even ask why he won't text, and Scott still has all of his passwords as Allison soooo..." Stiles had been searching for an obviously not under that seat phone, conveniently crouched in a place Derek couldn't see his face.
"You logged on, pretended to be him, and deleted the messages to play Bueller. That still doesn't explain why you're here, this isn't the sears tower."
"Actually the dad not texting story is pretty funn-"
"Stiles!"
He leaned up quickly. "Fine! Okay. I just couldn't handle being in that house anymore it was driving me crazy. And I know they were only trying to help, but the pack babysitting me got on my nerves. I have a sprain, I didn't loose the bottom half of my body. And you're the only one that doesn't make me feel like I'm broken. I mean, you worry more than my father does, but you still let me do what I can without letting me do what I can't. Or letting me convince you I can actually do it."
Stiles scratched the back of his head. "And I knew you would start here today, so I wanted to be here. For you. You shouldn't be alone for this. So I came to listen, or to talk. Whatever you need. Whatever you want. If you want. I mean you might not want me to, but too bad. I'm here now. And I brought movies."
Derek took a deep breath. "Okay. Fine."
Derek paused in a defeated silence.
"Is that why there's a blow up mattress strapped to your roof?"
"I figured you still wouldn't have power yet, and I didn't think you would let me use the generator for it." He would have.
"Right. Do I even want to know how you got that up there?"
"No, not really."
"Okay. Inside."
Three mission impossibles later, Derek knew why it took Stiles so long to repack it, and why it looked so full. His old living room, and the air mattress that occupied it, was covered with stuff. There was candy all over, half eaten bags of chips scattered, and cords running from a battery bank to his computer and phone. Not to mention the surplus of blankets, sleeping bags, and quilts he must've mugged an old lady for that wrapped him in multiple layers like a mummy.
It was starting to get late and he was sweaty and dirty from the dust and work of knocking down the ruined walls of the left side of the house.
This was only the beginning of a long process, but Derek did feel like it was starting to heal him. The first few days after they got back from the woods that night, Derek watched over him and took the pain Stiles insisted was nothing. Even though he knew Stiles was joking when he said it was Derek's fault, he still knew Stiles wouldn't have been out there if it wasn't for him. He went out there for him to make sure he was okay, so the least Derek could do was stay with him to do the same. To keep him occupied they talked a lot, and Stiles kept bringing up the old Hale house and before the fourth day Derek had a contractor scheduled to come look at it by the next Thursday. Stiles had said something that had stuck with him and he couldn't sleep without it nagging him so much he had eventually called. The next day Stiles handed him papers on where to rent equipment and an industrial sized dumpster without Derek even saying anything and his words rang in his head once again.
'It's only closure if you're really closing something off. I don't think you ever really had closure with that house, because that book hasn't ended yet. Maybe the chapter did, but I don't think you're ready for it to be the end of the Hales. Are you ready to close that book when Cora or your pack could help you carry it on? They could be your future. Hell even Peter could. Derek, do you really want that to be where your story ends, or are you just too scared that looking at the next page is going to hurt knowing what isn't going to be written there. Who won't be there. Maybe you have to let go of them to hold on to who you have, and even what you could have. If you want it."
Stiles was right. He had been holding onto burning corpses for so long he forgot how to hold anything else. His hands were either too sensitive from the healing that it hurt him to hold on, or he chased people away with the callouses of scarred, harsh skin.
Stiles understood him in a way only his family ever had. Derek forgot what it like to trust someone to have your back and be able to take care of themselves before Stiles kept getting thrown in his path.
There was a small nagging part of him that thought maybe that made Stiles his, that maybe he had been resisting all this time for nothing. If he was being honest he had thought Stiles had been his the moment he jumped in that pool, but he needed to be sure.
Stiles was right he wanted to rebuild his future, he'd yearned for it for a long time, but he had to make sure it was the right one and that he had the right people. He had thought he was building something with people that only ever tore him down, so he was cautious. Maybe slightly over cautious, but the pack, his pack was involved.
He wouldn't trust the wrong person twice. Stiles wouldn't hurt him, but his past was like an old wound pulling his shoulder tight as his arms tried to reach out. It felt like a warning, reminder, and punishment all at the same time. Even as he tried to push the paranoia down he had to be sure. He wouldn't let silence fall on his pack again, even if he'd never been more sure of anything.
"Are you seriously starting the fourth one? Turn that off. I'm going to drive you home."
Stiles' eyes blinked rapidly to adjust from the computer screen to the dark. "Derek. Whoa! When did it get so dark?"
"It's like eight thirty. Get ready."
Stiles took a moment to focus. "No. I told dad I was staying at Scott's overnight, because it's too much moving to do just for a day. Plus he knows our gaming nights are always overnighters and most likely the whole weekend."
"Alright fine. You can come to the loft." Derek started gathering the duffel bag back together.
"No. I want to stay here."
"Stiles I'm not letting you stay here. It's cold, unprotected, and you're hurt."
"Well too bad it's not up to you. A shame really." He smoothed the blankets out on top of himself to prove his point, the little shit.
"I'm not letting you stay in this house yet. It's a disaster, it's not fit to stay in."
Stiles looked up defiantly. "This house is wonderful. I'm not going to get cold. The minute I got settled you boarded off this entire room to keep the heat from the heater in. It's not cold. Besides I came prepared, you are looking at every blanket in the Stilinski house except my dad's comforter. It's not unprotected, you're here, and so fucking what if I'm hurt? And what do you mean not fit to stay in? You stayed here! I mean I know it was a part of your holy self flagellation crusade to punish yourself, but you're still kickin so it must be okay. I'm staying here, are you?"
Derek sighed deeply, that was his 'I'm not changing my mind and you'll have to listen to me' voice. It sounded a lot like his regular voice to him. "Fine, but I get the big blue fluffy sleeping bag if I'm sleeping on the cold floor." Derek moved to grab the end of it to pull it from Stiles like a magician would a table cloth.
"Ah uh." Stiles shook his head them lifted the top corner of the layers of blankets. "I said it wasn't cold, not that it was warm. Come on, super heat please."
Derek internally debated till he saw Stiles start to lower the covers. "Fine. Only because your scrawny ass would freeze, and your dad has multiple guns."
"Atta boy."
This wasn't a couch, but with Stiles falling asleep next to him he easily imagined this happening more just like he had imagined that night in the woods. No matter how much of Stiles he got he always wanted more.
They watched a few more movies before Stiles' battery bank ran out and they both were tired. They both had seen them before so they talked throughout them about how the contractor said the only part that has to be completely demolished and rebuilt was the left side of the house which he was currently working on, what the next steps were, and they argued about whether or not Stiles would be staying tomorrow to watch more movies and occasionally shout, 'Oh nice one. I felt the walls rattle over here.' and 'Derek this is a good part!' while eating snacks.
He would be.
As they settled to go to sleep in the darkness Derek spoke, "Thank you. For today. The burger, the company, and the movies. I needed it and I didn't even know it, but you did. So thanks."
Derek heard Stiles's pillow rustle and he knew Stiles was looking where his human eyes thought his face was. It was oddly sweet that even now he wanted to show he was being sincere. "I'll always be here Derek."
There was a silence, then his pillow rustled again. "I'm like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe, I'll stick around till you scrape me off."
Derek smiled into the darkness. "Goodnight gum eternally stuck to the bottom of my shoe."
"Goodnight inconvenient shoe that stole me from my sidewalk."
There was another pause.
"Good night Derek."
Derek's smile turned from amused to loving even if no one saw. "Goodnight Stiles."
Derek fell asleep with the soothing rhythm of Stiles' heartbeat and the pattern of his breathing in his ears.
Derek awoke from his slumber sensing danger. He half shifted and looked out with red eyes about to spring up. He searched his side of the room before turning and looking over Stiles.
His eyes caught a raccoon across the room that must've been used to this place being abandoned. It was snacking on a half eaten granola bar Stiles left out. Stiles turned in his sleep and drew the attention of the raccoon. It's beady little eyes were looking right at Stiles' sleeping face. Derek didn't like it. He pulled Stiles to his chest while growling with once again red eyes. Derek couldn't tell if the territorial tone of his growl was restaking his claim on the Hale property, or telling the raccoon to keep his grubby little paws off his Stiles. Either way it got the message, scampering away with the granola bar and snagging a bag of chips on his run out.
"Derek!"
Derek had just finished clearing out the charred remains of one of his cousins rooms and the dust was clouding his eyes and blurring them, even through his goggles, when he heard the shout. He made his way back to the room Stiles was in.
Stiles had called him at least a dozen times and Derek had come in to take breaks and catch parts of the movies when he got too tired or overwhelmed. Each time he would get whatever the other needed, and then each time Stiles would say what he needed to hear.
"Yes?"
"Do you know where my sour cream and onion chips are?"
Derek fought a grin. "By now? Eaten probably."
"I knew it! You ate my chips, you know they're my favorite! You bastard!"
"Second favorite, and I don't like sour cream and onion chips."
"Well then who took them? I bet you've been lying this whole time, so the pack trusts you and then bam! You steal their snacks. You fiend!"
Derek deadpanned. "Drats I've been caught. I've been lying this whole time to steal chips I could just buy myself."
"Seriously Derek I can't find them."
"I'll get you more. I have to go get some stuff for dinner anyway."
The theft was forgotten. "Will you get chicken fajitas?"
Derek nodded from where he was putting his mask back on. "Yeah I'll get some extra too, so you can take some for your dad tomorrow."
Stiles was taken aback by just how much that meant to him. Derek had sent Melissa flowers after she patched him up once and he sent all the cats of the little old ladies that seemed drawn to him and wouldn't stop talking about how worried about mister snuffles they were, over to Deaton to get them to stop talking, but this was him going out of his way to take care of his father. That meant the world to Stiles. It also didn't go unnoticed that Derek didn't put up a fight about Stiles staying again. He felt overwhelmed by all the feelings and the hope building in his chest.
"I love you."
Derek froze in his path back to the room he was working on.
"Shit no I- I meant thank you! Thank you that was very sweet."
Stiles noticed his tense shoulders slump.
"Yeah no problem." Derek resumed his path back towards the steps.
Oh fuck Stiles didn't mean to do that either. He basically said I love you then took it back. Shit. He couldn't let Derek misunderstand him.
"I do though."
Derek's arm stilled on the banister.
"I do love you." Even with the annoying dust mask blocking his view he could tell Derek was slightly smiling while he nodded softly. "You are a great alpha, a great friend, an-" Stiles hesitated for a moment that gave away what they both wished he could say next. "And a great contractor so go up there and show those walls who's boss!"
Stiles stayed the night again and watched the entire Bourne series. Derek caught the last two and they argued about their differing opinions about Jeremy Renner's acting choices. They both tried to pretend this wasn't going to become a thing.
Derek woke up wrapped around Stiles again and he couldn't possibly imagine how he thought he'd be strong enough to resist this.
After packing up his stuff Derek drove him back with the leftovers. He tried carrying Stiles up the steps, but that was met with threats of shoving a crutch somewhere it should not be. They did laugh again after Stiles said he wasn't two. Derek swore he could listen to that laugh forever and he could happily spend the rest of his life trying to cause it.
They didn't speak again until it was Derek's day. Then it was like the floodgates of planning opened.
Stiles told Derek he was bored and had nothing to do so he researched rebuilding houses and everything they needed to know. Which was a lot. He did have Derek fill in some holes though. How long do you want this to take was met with, I want the house ready as soon as possible, but there is no deadline. His various questions about the type of contractors he wanted were more in depth. Then, when Stiles asked what the budget was Derek said I wasn't an issue. Stiles insisted he needed at least a guess estimate. Derek blankly told him he had five point five million dollars worth of life and homeowners insurance policies to cash in and if that wasn't enough he could get more. The way he said it told Stiles he hadn't touched the money yet, but he wanted as much of it used for this as possible.
Stiles swiftly moved on to showing Derek other things he had planned, like maybe a game room/den. There was something scribbled out next to it and Derek tried really hard to pretend he didn't read playroom with question marks by it, but he did and he was sure the next time he dreamed about Stiles they would have a little three year old in a room surrounded by toys.
Stiles was thorough, he said he was already planning the movie schedule. He outlined what movies would go best with which tasks. He even color coded how enjoyable the tasks would be to determine how great the movies had to be each day.
Derek was overwhelmed with just how much thought he had put into it, and how close this was to perfect. How close this was to Stiles and him building a home and future, together, for their pack. How close, 'You should do this.' was to, 'We should do this.' How close 'It's your house man.' was to, 'It's my house too babe!' This was the 'Hey I want one of the rooms right next door to yours.' kind of close, and Derek wanted nothing more than to just close that distance.
He snapped back to reality when Stiles showed him something about the plans.
"Why do the movies drop down to only two after two weekends?"
"Well I figure we'll be too tired to stay up for more than that, and I, unlike you, am not okay with just listening to movies even if I have seen them before."
"Why wouldn't you be able to watch them?"
Stiles looked at him like he was stupid. "Because I'll be helping. By then my leg will be healed completely."
Derek hadn't thought about his leg being healed. He was more disoriented than when wolf's bane was blown into his face.
He thought he was just coming over to get away from everyone else, once his leg was fine he didn't expect him to come back. He thought Stiles was just bored like he said, but he actually wanted to be involved. Stiles wanted to build a house with him. Stiles was in this for the long haul, and that meant something entirely different. Stiles was going to help him build a house. A house for his pack. He was stunned into silence as Stiles rambled for the rest of the day about plans. He couldn't imagine anything he wanted more than to hear Stiles talk about their future.
Stiles was a sweaty panting mess. There was dust covering him head to toe. He could barely get out his words. "I'm- I'm gonna ta- take a break. Water. Go and find water." Stiles pointed over his shoulder as he spoke like Derek needed a clue as to where he was going to find a water bottle.
Even down stairs he could still here him panting. Knowing he wasn't going to get any work done without maiming himself he went to take a break too.
When he walked into the room Stiles instantly smirked.
"What?"
Stiles didn't reply he just put both of his hands high into the air pointed towards Derek and made a grabby motion. Derek looked confused as he came closer. His hands moved to keep aimed at his head and Derek leaned his head down towards Stiles. He was still surprised when he felt fingers thread into his hair, then ruffle his hair.
"You looked like an old man with how much dust was in your hair."
He leaned up to catch sight of Stiles smirk.
"Thanks."
"No problem." Stiles threw him a water bottle.
"We could make today a half day, go get some lunch. You sound pretty tired. How bout we call it a day? You're human and still healing."
Stiles nodded as he swallowed a big gulp. "Yeah, I was thinking about that, what if we had more nonhuman muscle? And shut up I'm healed just fine."
"You mean the pack?"
"No, I was thinking of harnessing the workforce of the legion of dwarfs hidden in the forest."
"Oh I heard they unionized. Dang huh."
Stiles threw his hands up in disbelief. "Well, there goes that plan. I guess we could see if the pack is busy... If that's okay with you. It's totally fine if not, but we could use the help and I think they should be a part of this." Stiles tried to seem nonchalant, but he knew what he looked like when he was analyzing someone.
Derek wasn't wrong before, because he could never have imagined how great Stiles wanting to build a future with him and his pack was. "You'll have to factor them into your plan."
"I made two."
Derek nodded. "Okay. I think they should be here too."
"Great! Let's get back to work." Stiles jumped up with a surprising vigor.
Derek only rose an eyebrow and smirked at Stiles as he heard vehicles approaching a half hour later.
"What?"
"You brought your dad's extra sledgehammer in case one broke, huh?"
"I believe I said, 'Just in case one breaks, or something.' Consider this or something."
"What if I would've said no?"
"I knew you wouldn't."
"No you didn't."
Stiles rolled his eyes, then met Derek with a look so intense, even through two pairs of ridiculous goggles, he believed him when he spoke. "Yes I did."
That weekend the pack knocked down the rest of the scorched walls and watched Indiana Jones. The pack found some extra rope lying around and dared Jackson to use it as a whip and swing from a tree like Indy. When the rope slipped from the tree Stiles laughed as hard as Isaac did when Scott took down a walk by bursting through it like the kool-aid man. Everyone was in awe as Erica effortlessly used it to land perfectly on a branch, after tying a small log to the end. Stiles shouted that's my catwoman before everyone was yelled at to get back to work.
The pattern Stiles set was Derek was to work through the week and then the pack would help Friday nights till Sunday and watching movies after each day.
The next week they spent the entire time planning while watching the Ocean's movies, and were stunned to find out Lydia had taken an online introductory college course into architecture and structural support in freshman year.
"Wait, how? You had a full course load already."
"Well, technically Natalie Martin has the credit, but I was bored and I like mathematically correct buildings."
The rest of the weekend was filled with pizza, movies, and Lydia Martin looking at them like aliens for suggesting moving windows. She proved her genius status though, because as they argued back and forth she put together a beautiful plan that made everyone happy.
The first floor changes started as soon as you walk in the door, the mudroom was requested by Derek so they didn't track in as much dirt, and knowing them, eventually blood. As you looked straight the big set of stairs were going to be there. To the right was a living room that led into a large open concept kitchen, with a pantry tucked under the tall stairs. To the right on the other side after you walked into the front door, led into a library/ pack meeting room, with a bathroom tucked by the corner of the room and the stairs. From the library through elegant French doors was the dining room, right where the original was. Something Derek insisted on going into the plan. Off the dining room was an office sharing a wall with the pantry, also under the stairs.
The stairs to the second floor would lead up to a broad picture window to let in light, which was Allison's idea. There was a hallway in the shape of a lower case n, which the stairs were in the top part. Down the left side of the hall there were to be two bedrooms that shared a Jack and Jill bathroom. Going around the banister of the stairs the master bedroom was in the empty middle part of the n, which had an en suite. The right side mirrored the left in all except in the corner just as you turn right coming up the stairs the spiral stairs from Derek's loft were going there.
Something Stiles had fought them all for and ultimately used a pack decision veto for. Lydia said they were stupid which made Stiles scoff and go off about how cool they were. Malia and Cora agreed, but Boyd brought up they could be dangerous if there ever were any little kids, which brought a pause when all the couples looked at each other. Isaac then said they could wrap them in bubble wrap, with that the awkward pause was quickly pushed past.
Up and around the stairs on the right side of the house led to the same as below them, but in the middle instead of space for a large grand stairway and a master bedroom there was a regular sized bedroom and closest to the stairs a den. The den didn't have doors, just two entryways that led right through it to the other side of bedrooms and their bathroom. Jackson, Isaac, Erica, and Scott all thought that was stupid that there was no other way to get to the other bedrooms besides through the den, but were eventually overruled. The fact that that's where the gaming consoles would go had nothing to do with their opinion, even if it was brought up right before they took issue.
The basement was accessible by a door in the side of the stairs on the first floor and had a laundry room, but there were no further plans for it just yet and no one commented.
All of the ten bedrooms were on the upper two levels. However, after fights broke out Derek made it very clear that no decisions about who got what room were to be made till the house was further along, even if by Sunday everyone would call unofficial dibs on a room. Since no rooms were for sure they decided to wait on figuring out decoration and paints, one thing at a time.
With the plans made Stiles went to the station on Monday and brought his father a horrendously greasy burger and side of fries which he snatched and pointed an accusing finger.
"What did you do? If there's a body I don't want to know where it is, just that you've taken care of it."
Stiles out his hands up placatingly. "Whoa, whoa! Pops I would never, ever, and I mean ever, tell you if I did kill someone."
He squinted his eyes and his mouth gaped a little. "That's a great comfort Stiles. I can feel my blood pressure lowering. Seriously though son... do I need to go get a loan to pay somebody off, because the bank clos-"
"Come on, can't a son just come to visit his old man? Who is looking pretty great today. Eh eh? Did you do something different with your hair? It looks great."
"A son can, and even you can. When you bring me something leafy and green and disgusting, but with that burger you're up to something. What is it?"
"Oh yee of little faith. I am merely appreciating my wonderful father. Who loves me very much and wo-"
"Miezyslaw!" He used his authoritative sheriff father tone. Which was scarier than his father tone and his sheriff tone.
Stiles shoulders deflated and he dropped the overly happy face. "I need a small favor, or rather the pack needs one. You know your old friend from school Normand? Lovely old fellow. Would invite you to dinner all the time and to play golf, and-"
"And wouldn't shut up about how many properties he owned and couldn't stop speaking for two seconds, and wouldn't take no for an answer, and wouldn't let me leave for hours?"
"And the one on the committees in charge of planning permission and building permits."
He sighed. "No. Whatever it is no. It took me a year to slowly phase him out of talking to me. A year! He doesn't get a hint. I'm not putting up with him again."
Stiles slumped into his chair and looked utterly dejected. "Okay fine. It's no problem, really. It wasn't even that big of a deal. It was just for the pack, that's why it was important to me."
John looked away from Stiles' big sad eyes quickly. He riffled through the bag and it had a large fry and a double bacon cheese burger in it. Looking back up to asking if Stiles really did kill someone was a mistake. Stiles was pointedly not looking at the sheriff with almost teary eyes and a lip pouting out. Damn it.
He knew this con, Stiles pulled it when he was eight. He sat looking sad on the floor until he came over and asked what happened. He had given Scott his bumblebee toy after his parents had a big fight to cheer him up, but now he had nothing to play with besides his hundreds of other toys. Stiles looked at him with little innocent eyes as he told him he was just happy Scott was happy, but he did wish he could've given him the new optimus prime toy instead because it was his favorite and Stiles' was the bumblebee he had given away. It was two weeks later before he realized what happened and it was too late to take the toy back because Stiles had already given it to Scott and lost his. He knew he was going to fall for it again. Damn it.
Lately, sometimes when he looked at his son he didn't even recognize him, but right now with his big brown eyes shining and his pouty lips he looked as much like his mother as he had when he looked at the world with nothing but hope and mischief.
He sighed. "What do you need him for?"
"You know the old Hale house? The one Derek's family tragically died in when he was young?"
He looked at him flatly. "I think I know the one Stiles."
"Okay well recently I convinced Derek to rebuild it, but we hit a road block. Since it was burned down, you know tragically, the committee has the right to seem it unsafe and not worth the time and money to rebuild and force us to tear it down. Buuut they wouldn't know that a bunch of werewolves are rebuilding it, sooooo..."
"It sounds like they might not even do that, and you are very convincing when you want to be. Believe me, I know."
"Buuut daaad once they deem it unsafe we can't overturn it! And Derek has been getting really excited about it. He hasn't said, but I can tell." Stiles' voice got softer. "And I think this is good for him. Finally moving on. I think it's good for all of us. We've had so much going on lately and I think the pack just needs a place that they can be themselves-"
"And a place that isn't mine where they eat all of my food, while blaring back to the future. Friggin werewolves."
"We watched it one time dad. They always appreciated you letting us have pack stuff there. But we do need a bigger place, one where everyone can be safe. It would do us and Derek good being able to be close."
His son's tone betrayed a too personal note when he talked about safety for his liking. "Do you not feel safe here? Do I not allow you to be yourself?"
Stiles looked ashamed. "It's not my safety I'm worried about." Stiles looked away from him. "I couldn't live with myself if- if someone came to the house looking for me an- and they-"
He circled the desk swiftly and folded Stiles into a hug. "Hey, hey. You stop that, I'm supposed to be the one looking out for you. Besides if someone comes looking for trouble I've got an entire clip dipped in wolf's bane waiting in my nightstand for them. Now that I know the truth that is." He said the last bit scolding even as he was scared to death of the world his son was wrapped up in. He wanted nothing more than to yank his son out of it and into safety, but he knew with the people he cared about still in it Stiles would run right back.
Stiles' voice came out muffled and stuffy from where he was pressed against his dad's shoulder. "You did before too. I took it when you were sleeping."
He pulled back and looked at those brown eyes once again, but now the tears were falling and his nose was running.
"You're always taking care of your old man. When and how did you grow up from that scrawny little kid into a strong man that takes care of everybody else?"
Stiles wiped his snot and shrugged. "I just watched you."
And there it was. He was getting worried he'd never see that look of youthful adoration in his eyes again. He pulled him into a bone crushing hug. "Even if I'll never stop, I don't think it's just my job to watch out for you anymore, maybe I should start watching you instead kid."
"Maybe you could start watching after we get the permits. We could use some help once it's time to start working on the basement. I don't- I don't think he should be there. We need the help, I mean I know you've got brittle old man bones bu-"
"Hey!" His hands shot down to Stiles' ribs and as he started tickling Stiles jumped away with a laugh.
They smiled at each other before he spoke. "You wouldn't mind it? Or would they? Having your dad around? Isn't this project a pack thing?"
"I would love to have you there, and so would they. Erica absolutely loves you. It is. You're pack to me so you're pack to them. That's how it works. And if Derek can invite Peter, I sure as hell can invite you."
John looked touched. "I'll get in touch with Normand, don't even worry about it. Tell me the time. I'll be there son."
Stiles smiled at him.
"One last thing. When you say it would do us and Derek good to be close do you mean, like you and him us or you and the pack us?"
Stiles squinted not understanding. "Boooth? It would be good for all of us."
"No son. Look would you be getting your own room?"
"Of course I wou- Oh! Dad no! I won't be moving! I wouldn't leave you by yourself! I'm not go-"
"Gee thanks for making it seen like I'm a two year old that can't fend for myself. That's still not what I meant." He looked uncomfortable as he looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked back up. "Would you be getting a room to yourself... or would you be sharing... with Derek?"
Stiles blinked a few times before he flailed.
The permit took a long four weeks to get approved, so good thing gutting was a long process. They had to take all of the old unusable walls, flooring, wiring, plumbing, HVAC, and insulation out. It was a good thing the house was built with such quality materials otherwise the process would be a doze and build from the ground up. Most of the fire burned hot and fast on the left side, and the right side was only in rough shape because of the smoke and neglect. Still he wanted everything possible, that had ash and burned air in it gone, while keeping as much of the bones as they could.
Gutting was strenuous so they were too tired to watch more than one movie. They watched one movie out of the underworld series, each night they all worked, for three weeks. Except the night they watched the shorts they spent most of the night debating whether or not the movies were offensive or so horrendously inaccurate that it was funny. Either way Stiles spent a good amount of time talking about how hot Michael Sheen was, and is in good omens.
On the fourth weekend there was nothing they could do, so Stiles went home. He spent some quality time with his dad, he complained about the pack and his dad complained about having to talk to Normand.
True to his word after he helped grease the wheels he showed up for adding support to the basement. Although he did decline staying for a movie. That might've been because he saw Stiles grab mean girls, and everyone had been wearing varying shades of pink, even Derek. He saw socks that looked strikingly familiar as he leaned up to hold a beam in the air. He had watched that movie so many times it wasn't even fetch, no thank you.
It was good having his dad there even if he knew with work it wouldn't happen often.
It was just Stiles and Derek now cleaning up.
"So how was today?" He was worried about Derek even if the pack wouldn't let him anywhere near the basement the whole day. He just cut the beams and helped with other things.
"Other than the disturbing fact that my uncle can quote Gretchen Weiners, not bad."
Stiles hip checked him as he went by with handfuls of garbage. "Are you sure? I was worried about it. That wasn't the best way to start off the project."
"Is that why you kept asking the contractor if we could start supporting the building from the bottom up somewhere else other than the basement? It was fine Stiles. Good even. Like he said, 'Kid if you want anything you build to stay up you've got to start at the bottom and support up.' Pretty good advice."
"Okay. Do you want to stay up to watch a different movie?"
"Nah I better get to sleep for tomorrow. You should too, are you staying?"
"Boo you whore. Yeah I think I will. It's too late to drive back now."
The after one weekend of Lydia commandeering movie choice to watch Nicolas Sparks movies, they watched John Mulaney specials the next, while finishing rebuilding the left side of the house's support, foundation, and walls. Even Peter showed up, although Derek cringed when he understood millennial humor better than he did. John shocked everyone when he quoted, 'Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.' They stared at him till Stiles explained he really loved when he showed him the Bittenbinder method and then became obsessed.
When the pack finished all the rebuilding of the frame of the left side, they watched both Mary Poppins in celebration. Isaac was ecstatic, because of his giant man crush on Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Allison spoke up after the first one, "We have to have a Julie Andrews marathon. I loved the princess diaries so much I only ate pears for a week. My dad had to cut me off, because I got stomachaches."
"Aww babe that's so cute!"
The dimple fest was as sickening as eating only pears for a week.
"Yes you're both adorable. Shut up. I think we should have a Anne Hathaway marathon, eh batman?"
He smirked. "Of course. She is my favorite."
They watched both of the princess diaries the next Friday night, and Scott and Stiles slid down the blanket covered stairs on the air mattress. Then they stayed up late to watch all three Christian Bale batmans. On Sunday when they were finishing putting the framing for the new walls up and nailing the outer boards to close all the holes in the house with a layer to keep the rain and cold out temporarily, Stiles couldn't stop quoting the movies.
"Stiles I asked for a cola two hours ago." Cora stared in disbelief.
Stiles merely held the soda out and lifted his chin. "A queen is never late, everyone else is simply early."
"More like drama queen." Derek muttered under his breath.
Stiles gasped and then smirked. "But I'm a cute drama queen I make all the other drama queens go rawwwr."
Several quite witty quotes, if Stiles had to say so, later and he could tell he crossed the, 'haha that's funny.' line into, 'I'll kill you if you say anything about pears again.'
"Stiles hand me the nail gun."
"'He's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now.'" Stiles quoted as he held up a hammer and some nails.
"Stiles this is heavy."
"Dude you're a werewolf. Suck it up. Besides, the air compressor is out of air. It needs a minute, so 'He's the hero Goth-'"
"Swear to god Stilinski if you quote Batman one more time-"
"Don't worry your pretty little head... the eagle has landed for the last time." Stiles dashed out of the house and Jackson after him.
"I swear to god Stilinski I'm gonna nail gun your mouth closed."
"It's a good thing the compres- oof!"
They heard him get tackled to the ground.
"Guys! Help!"
Malia yelled, "Don't break him, we still need him to work. But make sure he can't quote anything else."
"Scott!"
"Sorry bud. Even I get sick of batman."
"Traitor! Derek!" There was a pause. "Come on, you complete me!"
"You know I was considering it, but just for that one you're on your own."
Stiles started laughing hysterically. Through the breathless laughs he tried to speak. "Catwoman! Come help me!"
"Sorry darling, cats come when they feel like it. Not when they're told."
By the time he escaped they looked like they were almost done.
The roof needed to be replaced next to complete the rough dry in before they could start on internal things. Peter apparently drove over to help Derek prep the roof before the weekend, because when they showed up it was ready to be done and Peter was creeping close by. Well, Stiles imagined he showed up out of a ominous cloud of mist and whispered I'm here, but his car was there so it's anybody's guess.
Roofing went horrible. It was three stories up and as soon as Stiles convinced them to let him up he nearly fell off reenacting the scene from avengers went Thor says, 'You want me to put the hammer down?!' He was then confined to the ground and drink duty. They watched Aristocats and Finding Nemo and Stiles with Erica's help made caramel puffcorn, rice crispies, and crème de la crème à la Edgar at the sheriff's house before bringing it over. Malia said it was just warm milk and Jackson scoffed.
"I'm the leader I'll decide what it is."
Stiles gaped at Jackson. "Seriously!" He flailed. "After all the shit you gave me! You asshole."
Jackson shrugged. "It was always one of my favorites." He looked like he was about to bolt and he wouldn't look anyone in the eyes.
Stiles nodded. "Good choice dude. It's a great movie."
Jackson nodded and he was biting his lip as he looked down.
Derek asked Cora to help him with installing the windows and doors the following week. Stiles was happy for their sibling bonding time, but then once the pack got there on Friday there wasn't much to do. They didn't end up watching any movies. Which disappointed him, but he did blare waving through a window and love is an open door on repeat till Malia threatened to smash his phone. Cora and Derek seemed happier with each other and closer, so Stiles was glad.
They picked a stone grey for siding and a beautiful day to put it up. It was sunny, but with a slight breeze to cool everyone off.
Stiles dad was able to make it. Argent even came, because he had to drop Allison off while her car was in the shop and he decided to stay and help. Stiles thought it was because he felt guilty that the whole reason it had to be rebuilt was his sister. Derek thought he was using it as an opportunity for an olive branch for the sake of his daughter. It was probably both, but Stiles still was impressed that Derek could let an Argent other than Allison back on his territory, even if he was tense every time he saw him. Peter was the same way except Stiles thought his eyes were watching his ass a little more than necessary and with too much appreciation for it to all be suspicion. They were so going to have angry hate sex, Stiles was calling it now.
Stiles made sandwiches, Lydia brought fancy blackberry lemonade that was delicious, Erica made a pasta salad, Derek made an old family calico bean recipe, John brought dessert, and Jackson brought chips and dip.
The day was filled with work, play, and so many laughs they could all get used to peace like this. Stiles was shocked nothing had happened yet.
They were all busy outside with putting up the siding and messing around. Stiles' father came up to him.
"Hey kiddo. Are there other drinks inside?"
"Oh yeah. I'll go grab you something." Stiles started putting what he was doing down.
"No, no. I'll go."
Stiles looked nervously at where Derek was alone in the kitchen. They were still on rocky ground, since he arrested him and Stiles wasn't sure if he blamed Derek for Stiles being involved in a lot of the danger he was. He started to protest again.
"Relax. I'm not going to arrest him... again."
The sheriff stalked into the house with purpose.
"Sir." Derek nodded.
"Derek."
"Soda?"
John raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay with Stiles seeing you handing me a soda?"
"He's busy, I'll take my chances."
"So has everything been quiet in town sir?"
"Let's cut the small talk. I'd rather not talk about my job or the weather."
Derek's nerves rose. "Is there something you want to talk about sir?"
"This pack bond thing. How does it work?"
"There's a lot to it, and I think you want to know something specific. Right sir?"
"You being the alpha they protect you right? With their lives?"
"In some packs, yes, but not normally, no. I'm their alpha it's my job to protect them, I care for them, provide."
"Hence the house." John used his hand holding his soda to gesture to the house around them.
"Yes."
"But they do don't they? They protect you with their lives."
"They do."
"Is it because of the pack bond are they forced to?"
"It's a little complicated-"
"It's a simple question Derek, are you using these kids as human shields or not?"
Derek looked startled. "I-I um." Derek let out a breath and nodded his head while looking apologetic. "Yeah I guess I was. In the beginning when I just wanted power to protect myself, but they changed me. When you're bitten the alpha that bit you can force you to obey him, but if you choose an alpha willingly it has to be because you feel they are worth protecting, worth dying for."
Derek looked out at everyone.
"I don't think I'm worth any of their lives, hell not even all of them put together. I just want to protect them, to me they are worth dying for. Every last one of them chose to be in my pack, I still don't know why, but I'll be damned if I let anything happen to them. I'm not living through that again." Derek spoke every word with conviction and emotion.
"And does that go for all of them? Do you have the bond with the humans? Can you force them to do what you say too?"
"The lore isn't clear how the pack bond translates to humans. Some people say yes, some say no. I don't think I could force Lydia, Allison, or Stiles to do whatever I said even if they were my betas."
"Is it different because Stiles is a witch?" He waggled his fingers.
"He's a spark. And no. He's more human than wolf so that doesn't effect it."
"I guess what I'm trying to say is, what do you feel? Would you protect them like the rest of your pack? Would you protect Stiles?"
Derek looked John dead in the eyes. "I would protect him with everything in me sir. It's different with pack when you lose someone I wouldn't let it happen."
He nodded. "How so? How does it effect them if you die or get hurt?"
Derek thought for a moment. "My betas would be crushed. Some are even known to go mad with loss or kill themselves. It is an overwhelming feeling losing your alpha. It feels like you are lost and have no meaning, like you failed, and are utterly alone without guidance. But the humans, they would react like a regular person. They would feel the loss, but they would be okay."
"And you? If you lost one them?"
"I wouldn't live with myself. When you lose any pack it isn't like you lose someone close to you. It's like you lose a vital part of yourself. For an alpha it is tenfold. The worst pain I could think of."
"Okay that's all I needed to know. But I need to tell you some things."
Derek nodded. "Yes sir?"
"If someone hurts him, you'll feel it. I know that now, you'll take care of him. But if you hurt him-"
"You have wolf's bane bullets?"
"No. I have every faith you would pull the trigger before I ever could. If you hurt him, know that as his father, who has been a cop long enough to see too many horrible people do atrocious things, I could never make you hurt the way all the blame and guilt you put on yourself does. I know I can't stop him from getting into trouble as much as you can't. And now with all this crazy stuff he's in I can't be his big strong dad that can rescue him from anything. I haven't been for awhile, but I don't think he needs me anymore. I think he needs you, all of you. Even if he still will get into trouble. Just promise me you'll be there when he does."
"On my life and my mother's memory, nothing in this world could stop me from protecting him."
He seemed pleased with that. "Okay then I guess we're done."
They both started to walk away.
"Oh one last thing. If I ever, I mean ever, like twenty years from now you're married and have kids together ever, find out you had sex with my underage son under my roof, I will shoot you in the kneecaps with wolf's bane bullets."
Derek's eyes were wide and his mouth gaping. "What?! No! Sir I would never- me and him aren't ev- we're not! Never! I mean your son is a good man, but no! Why-"
"Slow down there kid. I know. But I also see how you look at each other. I used to have a set of whiskey browns that looked at me the exact same way. And you're right, if he was any other son in the world I would correct you, but you're right. He is a fine man, he hasn't been a boy since he stepped up to deal with all of this shit. You can stop acting like he is one, he's almost eighteen and frankly he's been smarter than me for a long time And somehow wiser since birth. Even if he can be dumb as shit. So under my roof no sex. Clear?"
"Crystal, sir." Derek nodded like a toddler trying to convince an adult he didn't eat the missing cookie.
"But Derek, up until a point, what you do under your own roof is none of my business, once you get a whole house under it that is."
"Um sir?" Derek looked confused.
"One last word of advice son, everyday I wish I could've met her sooner so I could've loved her longer. You've met him, so what are you waiting for?"
Derek looked sure. "For him to be ready and for me to deserve him."
"I'm not saying you have to sodomize my son immediately, do not get me wrong. Just let him know how you feel at least, he's been ready for that a long time. Also you don't have to wait to deserve him, you're waiting until you feel you do. If Stiles chose you, you deserve him."
They shared a sincere silence, before John clapped him on the shoulder and continued, "God help your soul son."
They both walked out with wide grins, and John's hand was still on Derek's shoulder.
As soon as his dad went to help Scott and Boyd, Stiles flew over to Derek.
"What did he say to you!? What did you talk about?!" Stiles whisper shouted.
"You." Derek teased.
Stiles squinted. "I can't tell if you're being serious. I don't like it."
Derek rolled his eyes and pulled Stiles into a hug, before pulling him behind him by the hand back to work.
"Derek Hale did you give my father a soda!"
Once they had the bare bones of the house with exterior enclosing walls it was finally time to start actually building the inside of the house. Stiles couldn't wait to start the rest of the movies he had planned.
Derek did a walk through with the three contractors for the electrical, plumbing, and HVAC systems so everything went smoothly and no one got in the way of each other. Stiles insisted on being there so none of his research got forgotten and all of his questions got answered. Derek regretted letting him as soon as he saw the twenty something hot electrician and the in surprisingly amazing shape thirtyish year old plumber. Luckily the HVAC specialist was a portly old man who should've retired long ago to pass down the family business to his daughter long ago.
As soon as Stiles started to stutter out his questions Derek wanted them out immediately. When he caught Stiles ogling the perky bubble butt, that should've been an unattractive hairy plumber's crack, of the man bent over to take a measurement he squinted his eyes and almost growled at him. He put a hand on Stiles' lower back to guide them into the kitchen where Harrold the HVAC man was trying to keep their attention while smirking. Stiles was still staring back and Derek was resolutely staring right at Harrold, so they both missed the man also supervising the measurement taking he ran Stiles right into. The man turned bright red and stuttered apologies. Derek heard an almost inaudible chuckle from back in what would be the living room. Derek wanted nothing more than for them to be a couple, hell he'd be fine with one of them banging the other right on his floor in front of them if it stopped Stiles' drooling. Knowing him there'd end up being a lake though.
He was ecstatic when it was over. Well, that was until Harrold said he thought it was really beautiful that they were rebuilding the house together and that it was a really great project to take on together. In spite of their confused faces he continued and asked what they were going to do with such a big house and if they planned on adopting or fostering. Recognition struck their faces as they tried to back pedal, but he was already convinced that they made a lovely couple.
Most of the plumbing, electrical, and the HVAC systems would take a long time and had to be installed by 'Harrold and the hotties' as Stiles referred to them, so they decided to start a big movie series, the MCU.
Since they got out of the work they camped the weekend out at the loft to marathon as many movies as they could. When they watched the first Thor they teased him for nearly falling off the roof then, he made a joke about how the, 'Seriously jacked.' plumber should've been the electrician because he had the body of, 'A thunder God of super hotness and muscle.' to distract them. Derek made a point to exercise shirtless the next morning while Stiles was making breakfast in Derek's kitchen to show him, 'Seriously jacked.'
The swarm of contractors that invaded the house took roughly a month and a half to finish the rough in for the massive house. In the beginning they didn't think they would finish all of the movies on time, but as their time off dragged on they flew through them. Derek couldn't even remember him many times everyone hit Stiles with their pillow because he kept saying Captain America's lines before he could. During Winter Soldier Scott put a hand over his mouth and didn't even flinch when Stiles licked him, but when he bit him Scott let out a yell.
"Damn it Stiles. Remember what your dad said!"
Good god were they actually five?
Cora suffocated him with a pillow, till he kicked her in the head and when that proved ineffective, shot sparks into her leg.
Stiles could tell Derek was getting a little stir-crazy having his pet project routine interrupted. He tried to come over as much as possible to keep him company. They were supposed to be finished on a Thursday, but due to a last minute plumbing problem it was pushed till Monday. They watched Flushed Away, then Ratatoullie Friday night and laughed so hard. Saturday and Sunday they watched The Pirates of the Caribbean series.
From that weekend on, anytime someone would hear someone coming in they would get in their way and screech like the slugs. Derek caught Stiles coming in with a bunch of tools and they got in a screaming match that lasted ten minutes.
Once they had the all clear the next job was insulation and drywall, since it had to be done in stages once the mud dried they came over weeknights after school to help for two weeks.
It was a lot of work because they decided to insulate the interior walls a little bit as well as the exterior walls for just a bit more soundproofing. Derek insisted on his bedroom being soundproofed completely, which made the pack tease him mercilessly, but in the end they wanted the rooms they had unofficially picks out soundproofed as well. Everyone agreed in a house filled with werewolves there are just some things you don't want to hear.
They only had time before they had to get home to watch movies on the weekend, so they watched Venom and another Nickolas Sparks movie one night, and then both Deadpools. Stiles thought ahead and made tater tot casserole, bought tissues, and there were unicorn pillows, blankets, and plushies he had gotten at the dollar store. Allison quoted every line about tater tots, which was pretty much the whole movie. Everyone grumbled loudly that Lydia got to choose another movie that nobody else liked, and they were about to switch it when Boyd spoke up and said he liked it. They were all too shocked they didn't realize they were watching it still till it was to late and they were reaching for tissues because Bobby died.
Boyd left the room halfway through with teary eyes, and when Erica and Derek both didn't follow him Stiles did.
The night air was warm on Stiles' face.
"You didn't have to come out here, I'm fine, Erica and Derek didn't because they know I'm fine."
Stiles put his hands in his pj pockets and nodded while rocking back an forth slightly on his feet. "Okay. Maybe they don't need to come out here because you're fine, or maybe because you've always been the strong one they believe you to be so strong you don't need help. But, Boyd sometimes when you're always the strong one you feel you aren't allowed to be weak. You are. You're allowed to be hurt, and break, and wake up tomorrow and be strong again. Everyone is weak sometimes. If you don't want to talk to me about it that's fine, just let them know when you aren't alright. They can help you."
"And do you?"
Stiles looked confused. "Do I what?"
"Let them help you. Sure when we're in a fight you are protected, but when you're hurt or worried do you let people help you? For the longest time you didn't tell you're dad anything, and even still you shield him from so much. You are constantly tired from researching to keep the pack safe, you could ask Lydia to pause her college prep to help you. When you have nightmares do you tell your best friend? When you have a problem do you go to your alpha before trying to solve it yourself? No you don't do any of that. Because out of all of us werewolf, kanima, banshee, hunter you, Stiles Stilinski are the strongest of us. You take more pain than all of us combined to keep us from hurting. So do you allow yourself to be weak?"
Stiles seemed to take it all in. He nodded. "Fine. Fair enough. I still can't watch Halloween movies because I used to watch them with my mother and now they just make me sob." Stiles shrugged his shoulders.
Boyd looked away. "Fine. My sister used to pretend to love Disney princess love story movies so I could watch them with her, and I used to pretend to love action movies so she could watch them with me."
"Fine." Stiles nodded again.
Boyd sniffed a bit and Stiles could tell he was trying not to cry. He pulled the massive man into a hug and held him tightly against himself. He felt tears against his neck and shoulder.
He whispered with a small stuffy voice against the smaller man. "Fine."
When they came back Derek gave him a quizzical look, Stiles just brushed his arm as he went by with his hand to tell him everything was fine.
The next week each day after school Boyd went over to help Derek rebuild the front porch. Stiles thought it was so they could talk one on one, and he was proud of Derek for doing it.
Then they had another weekend of discussions about design. Although this time it was less about rooms and more about what they wanted the rooms to look like. Lydia had swatches and samples spread across the entire room.
Derek wanted all of the bathrooms to look similar, but not identical. They took a vote and the rooms would all be varying shades of grey with black or silver fixtures.
Everyone got to decorate their own room however they wanted. Erica said she was going to make her room a sex dungeon then and Derek did not look impressed.
The den on the third floor was to be a light beige with an enormous sectional couch.
The dining room was going to be a classy white to compliment the chandelier that was originally there.
The office was to be a light pastel yellow to not be too distracting, while the pantry was to be a bright pink because Scott asked and Derek didn't care. The stairs the rooms were under were set to keep their original wood just sanded and restained. The loft stairs were to stay as is per Stiles' request.
The library's color scheme choice was dueled out between Lydia and Peter. Lydia wanted a luxurious aubergine purple with a delicate pearl. However Peter won out with a bright, deep, and dark cobalt blue paired with a rich leather brown color, because they all agreed they were better for the mood of a library. Peter also requested they have a rolling ladder attached to the wall so they could built the bookshelves all the way up to take advantage of the first floors high ceilings.
The kitchen and living room were open concept, so the two rooms had to match well. For the kitchen Derek wanted clean colors, so they chose whites, greys, and touches of black with all stainless steel appliances. Isaac said they should get a large island with butcher's block on the top and everyone agreed. The floor was going to be a light grey tile with darker grey marbled in and dark grey grout to make it pop. The back splash was a simple white subway tile, and the counter tops were going to be soapstone. Since the kitchen was so nuanced the living room could be a bit bolder.
Stiles fought tooth and nail for a dark emerald green and they eventually had to concede. He bombarded them with color psychology. He went on about how green is known for health, calm, peace, growth, and safety. He also mentioned it was the color of nature and the natural world, plus it would go with the view out huge window out into the woods. He told them some researchers even found it improves reading ability, which would be great for the bay window they planned on putting in.
Lydia looked back through her notes there was no mention of a window seat, but by the time she was done looking and was going to interject Derek had agreed to both.
They had varying types of counters for the bathrooms that matched each room's back splashes and fixtures. Each Jack and Jill had two sinks, a shower, and a toilet. All the sinks were going to be white with those fancy faucets that had part of the pipe gone so you could see the water coming, because Cora thought they were cool.
For flooring they decided to do the bathrooms a grey tile with black striped in, similar to the kitchen. The mudroom would also be tile. The library, den, office, and stairs were going to be all wood. The hallways and living room were quickly agreed to be carpet, but once they got to the bedrooms things got a little heated.
"I will slaughter your first born if you even think about putting tile in my bedroom!"
Lydia looked at Stiles half crazed. "You are a man of intellect Stiles, you can at least on some level agree that tile or wood has practical reasons fo-"
"I agree with him. It makes no sense."
Stiles gestured to Allison like, 'Ha, there!'
"It does look nicer."
Stiles squinted and pointed an accusing finger at Scott. "You are dead to me."
"What if you want to lay on your floor? Carpet is way more comfortable." Isaac usually stayed quiet during arguments, but lately he's become more comfortable speaking up.
"Lay a blanket down."
"Great reason for a stylish rug."
"Why would you lay on the floor next to your bed?"
Boyd, Lydia, and Jackson spoke up, respectively, at the same time.
"You wouldn't have to worry about it if you just got carpet!" Stoke practically yelled.
Lydia responded in kind. "Carpet is hard to clean, and it makes your room look like a van from the seventies!"
"Cold feet end of story, bitch!"
"Wear socks you bastard!"
Derek stared in horror at his pack, which was about to tear each others throats out over flooring. "Okay everyone just calm down! It's late and we got a lot figured out today. How bout we stop here, everyone go home, and we'll pick it up tomorrow."
They slowly all trickled out. Only Derek and Stiles were left. Stiles was finishing up folding the blankets when he realized he hadn't seen Derek in awhile.
"Derek?" He called out.
"Up here Sti." The nickname gave him pause. He had only ever called him that when he was bleeding out, or needing comfort.
He went up the stairs and found him staring deeply in one of the rooms.
"What's up Der?" Stiles took advantage of the moment to call him a soft nickname back.
Normally he would protest and say he's fine, but he didn't. Stiles didn't know if he should take it as he really needed to get it off his chest that bad, or if it was because he was trusting Stiles more.
"This was Lillian's room."
Stiles didn't need any clarification. He knew all of Derek's family, but Lillian was the only one he'd heard of just from the Hale fire files. Lillian was Peter's oldest, she was three. Stiles guessed that they were really close. Stiles put his hand on Derek's shoulder.
"We can leave this one empty."
Derek smiled. "No. This is Scott and Allison's room."
"They can pick a diff-"
Derek turned the eyes Stiles thought would be misty, to face him with not a tear in sight.
"Stiles do you want to know why I wouldn't let them pick rooms before?"
"Because they were fighting?"
Derek tipped his head back and forth. "Yes, and no. Because while they were fighting about who got the room with the best window, or the one with the tree, or the one closest to the stairs, I kept thinking, 'That isn't your room, it's Lillian's so uncle Peter and aunt Darcy can be close to her! That isn't your room it is Laura's, so she can use the tree to sneak out. That room isn't yours it's Nan and Pop's, so they can look at the back yard.'"
Stiles felt horrible, maybe this all was a mistake. Maybe Derek wasn't ready yet.
"Do you know what I see now?"
"No. Tell me?"
"I see Allison looking out this window while drinking her morning coffee. I still see me and Lily on the floor playing horseies, but I feel this isn't her room anymore. This isn't their house anymore, it's ours. With some of the other rooms it's hard, to remember the old good memories, and to picture the new ones. In this one though, I know it's what she would've wanted. Sh-she ah-" Derek's voice was filled with emotion and he had tears in his eyes. "She used to make me promise to play with her ponies when she wasn't home so they wouldn't be lonely." Derek had a wistful look till he nodded with a look of certainty. "She wouldn't want her room to be lonely." He smiled. "I see Allison and Scott here."
Stiles hugged him and let his cries be muffled by his shirt. Once he calmed Stiles pulled back and took his hand to lead him.
"Where are we going?"
Stiles stayed silent till they were at the doorway of a room on the other side of the stairs. "What is your favorite memory in this room?"
"What?" Derek looked confused.
"You said it's hard to picture the good memories in some of the rooms, well I think you should try."
Stiles gave him time to think.
"This was my older brother's room. He taught me how to make paper air planes. One day we kept testing them by flying them out the window. We were having so much fun trying to out fly each other, we weren't paying attention to how many we flew." Derek let out a short laugh. "When we heard mom yell both our full names we knew we were in trouble. There had to have been a hundred paper airplanes scattered in the yard being blown around by the wind. We were chasing after them to clean up for hours."
Stiles' fond look mirrored Derek's. "Did she scold you about littering?"
"For weeks. It was respect the land this or you boys are so messy that."
Stiles nodded. "That was a good memory. What about something you picture happening here?"
"I picture teaching Isaac how to fly the perfect paper airplane."
Stiles grinned. "I think he would like that."
They went around the entire house like that. Derek remembering the old while picturing the new. Sometimes Stiles would say what he thought would happen in a room and Derek would say he agreed, but mostly he just listened. His favorites were that he once hid under his grandparent's bed till it was time to go to sleep, because Laura and aunt Darcy had dressed him up in a princess dress and put make up on him, but then they got a camera out. His Nan screamed so loud when he came out that his mom burst into the room in her beta shift. His other favorite was when they got to what would be the den, he said playing with our kids. When he heard him he nearly died, but then he clarified the packs kids. Stiles' subconscious still stubbornly hung on the fact that Derek and his kids would be considered pack kids, even as he drove home.
The next day they invaded multiple home improvement stores, cabinetry places, mattress stores, and furniture shops to order what they would need. They had to go to a special place to get the island Isaac wanted, but then they got to have it made uniquely for them. Derek told them they could pick out their rooms and what kind of flooring they wanted, when it was time to decide.
The next week Erica came over alone after school to help with the next project. Her dad was an electrician, so she knew how to install the outlets, light fixtures, and fans. They still had some left on the weekend, and Erica said they would just he in their way, so they only came over to watch a movie Sunday night. Lydia brought The Notebook- again.
The next Monday Derek was surprised by a phone call when he was about to take a break for lunch. He put his paint roller to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Hi this is Beacon Hills high school. We are calling about one of the students here. They said th-"
Derek's stomach dropped out. He hurriedly grabbed his jacket.
"Are they okay?" Derek demanded.
"It's in regard of Jackson Whittmore. He apper-"
"Is he okay?!" Derek interrupted once again while starting his car.
"Yes, but-"
"I'm on my way."
"If you would let me get a word in sir, this young man struck another student. We can't release him till we talk to a parent or guardian. Both his parents are unavailable due to a work trip, but after many questions he finally told us he was left in your care. Is that true?" She spoke harshly.
"He is in my care."
"Well I can't see why he would do such a thing as to strike another student with such a polite man's example to follow." She sneered.
"I'll be there soon." He hung up on her.
"I'm sorry. I didn't have anyone else to call." Jackson was folded in on himself in the corner of the room. The receptionist was all smiles once he got there in person, but as soon as she realized he wasn't interested she went on lunch. The other student and his parents were in the principal's office with Lydia's mom. It was just them in the room.
Derek summoned his best alpha voice. "You hit another student?"
Jackson shrunk. "I listened to what you and Stiles said. I controlled my strength. I only hit him like a regular human."
Derek gave a withering glare. "That isn't better! Jackson you need to sto-"
Just then the door burst open and the pack and Danny came flooding in. Erica ran up to Jackson and threw herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. Derek barely heard the whispered thank you.
He glanced at Stiles with a look of utter confusion. He motioned for him to come over to the side of the room. When he met him over there Stiles started to speak.
"That douchebag in there was showing the old video of Erica having a seizure. Derek's eyes widened in understanding. When looked back he saw Erica pulling back from Jackson a bright red lipstick mark on his cheek.
Everyone looked to where Lydia's mom was exiting her office. She asked Derek and Jackson to come in.
"It wasn't his fault!"
"He deserved it!"
"Mom just let us explain."
The pack all started talking at once the room descended into chaos. Natalie looked overwhelmed, Derek yelled over their voices.
"That's enough!"
They fell silent.
"If you would please follow me Mr. Hale and Jackson."
The pack started yelling again.
Stiles interjected. "I think you might find it better to just speak out here. Does anyone object to having this conversation where multiple eyewitnesses can correct the narrative?"
The parents looked smug. "I don't see why not."
Natalie looked like she knew how to pick her battles. "Very well, but if you are too disruptive I will send you all to the cafeteria."
Stiles nodded.
"We are here because Jackson struck another student, Preston. It was a violent action that this school will not endorse nor tolerate. He-"
Stiles interrupted once again. "How about a student showing a video showing another student having a medical reaction? Does this school tolerate that? Does it endorse it?"
Natalie looked shocked, Stiles assumed Preston left that little tidbit out. His parents looked at him appraisingly, as if to figure out if he did.
"How bout a student mocking another by following them down the halls pretending to have a seizure?"
Preston replied indignant. "That wasn't today!"
Stiles turned to him sharply. "So you admit you did it?"
He turned beet red and tried to deny it.
His parents started yelling at him. Natalie tried to calm them.
"Alright, alright. Even if Preston did do those things, which this school does not endorse or tolerate, Jackson still used violence. That canno-"
Stiles nodded. "Yes that is true, and he will be properly scolded. By us, and his parents when they get back. You did call them didn't you? Mrs. and Mr. Whittmore the two premier lawyers in the county? I'm sure they would want to know the situation immediately! That their son hit a boy for only mocking and publicly humiliating a fellow student because of a disability." Stiles played it off like it was nothing. "I mean what is that? Just a prosecutable hate crime, nothing warranting violence for heavens sake!" Stiles looked scandalized. "Yes they would want to know right away."
Preston's parents blanched, before his dad started blundering. "I-I think we can settle this now? I mean lest we bother them."
Natalie smirked privately at Stiles.
Stiles continued. "Oh wonderful! Now he did use violence so I think one week suspension is a necessity, and since Preston was the primary aggressor two weeks and detention for the rest of the month after he gets back. You know, to give him a taste of what a life of crime will get you, and to discourage him from this path further."
Preston started to object, but his other leveled him with a glare. "Yes I think that is adequate."
Stiles turned to Natalie. "Does that fit school guidelines?"
She nodded.
"Well, then I think that is all we need from Preston, thank you for coming in to resolve this with us." He stared at them till they got the hint and scurried out.
"Mr. Whittmore I better stop seeing this type of thing from you, you were doing so well." She halfheartedly scolded him. "I thought this change was brought about by good influences, I hope you stick by their side. It's good to have people to defend you and to defend."
Jackson nodded.
"Miss Reyes you may be excused from classes if you like."
Erica shook her head. "I'm good."
"Very well. Mr. Hale you're all set to take him home. He will be due back for school next Tuesday, and make sure his parents get in touch as soon as possible. The rest of you are dismissed back to lunch."
They all started to file out. Natalie called out. "Oh and mister Stilinski..."
"Yes ma'am?"
"You negotiate just like your mother."
Stiles smirked. "Thank you."
Once they were in the hallway Jackson spoke, "Thanks Stilinski."
He saluted before going to lunch with the rest of them after Erica gave one more grateful look.
"I am sorry Derek. Our maid is on vacation. I didn't know who else to call. I didn-"
"Listen to me Jackson, you call me. Always."
"Still I know I'm not your problem."
"You're my beta, that means your mine. My problem, my happiness, my duty, my friend, my responsibility, my everything. So if you need something, you call and I'm there. No matter what. I'll always be there."
Jackson's eyes were rimmed with tears. "Th-" He cleared his throat. "Thanks."
"Now how bout some ice cream?"
"Ice cream?" Jackson looked confused.
"Yeah. When I punched Gary Getzucci's smug little face off the swing he was sitting on after calling Laura a whore, my alpha took me for ice cream. Admittedly she didn't use me for free labor afterwards to prime the wall of her house, but you know."
Jackson spent the week priming the walls with Derek so they would be ready to paint on the weekend.
They entire time they were painting they were making fun of the noobs and saying things like, 'No like this.' They had the audacity to give each other long suffering looks when Stiles did something wrong.
Friday they watched 13 Going on 30 and Stiles shared his razzles with everyone except them. Then The Proposal.
The next day Stiles played music again, and when "Get Low" came on they belted out the lyrics from the various rooms they were painting and laughed so hard they had to take a break. Stiles blared T swift and Fergi and no one even complained.
They were painting the library when Derek realized Stiles wasn't singing along. Derek looked behind him where Stiles was supposed to be painting. He was beaming at his phone like the fucking sun. Derek frowned. Everyone the Stiles would text was in the house. His father was still anti-text.
"Something happen?"
Stiles didn't even slow his giddy texting.
"Stiles." He looked up after he finished his text.
"What?"
He was widely grinning at him, but knowing it wasn't meant for him it felt like he was frowning at him and had him responding in kind.
"Who are you texting?"
Stiles put his phone in his back pocket. "Nobody."
Derek furrowed his eyebrows. "Nobody must be pretty funny."
"What?"
"You were grinning like when Scott fell down the steps."
"Oh." Stiles seemed content to not give further information.
"Yeah." Derek turned to continue painting and to not have to look Stiles in the eyes. "New girlfriend?"
"No."
"Boyfriend?"
Stiles snorted. "After what he did for me, I'd marry him if he asked."
Derek's roller paused mid pass.
"I don't think it's likely though, so just friends."
"What did he do for you?" Derek asked while resuming painting.
"He found something for me."
Derek spun around. "Why didn't you ask me!?"
Stiles looked like a deer in headlights. "Uhhh, I don't think it's something you could've found." Stiles looked at him questioningly.
Derek seemed to process his outburst was unwarranted. He continued nonchalantly. "I just mean super senses. It would've been easier for me to find it, unless they also had them. Which they'd have to be a werewolf and-"
Stiles heartbeat sped up.
Derek's eyebrows rose. "-they're obviously not a werewolf, right?"
Stiles was quiet as he focused on his paint. "Why would I need a werewolf to find something?"
A question couldn't be a lie, he was hiding something.
"Right, right. And why would you ask a different on when you have a pack, an alpha? I mean it's not like you would go to a werewolf we knew for something I could do for you."
Stiles heartbeat ticked up. So we knew the man.
"And it's not like you would go to meet a werewolf not in your pack without telling your alpha."
Another uptick.
Stiles stopped painting with a groan. He yelled. "Scott, Derek is doing the heartbeat lie detector thing we said you guys can't do!"
"I was just as-"
"What dude?"
"Derek is being mean. He's reading my heartbeat!"
"Stiles is not telling the truth about his other werewolf friends."
"Dude! What other friends?! Not cool. You should tel-"
Stiles gave a meaningful look to him, and in order to be meaningful to Scott it was obvious to Derek.
Scott's face flashed recognition. "Oh. Oh! Yeah dude, not cool. Don't read heartbeats. We said that wasn't okay."
Wow, the best friend knew. Derek racked his brain trying to find the signs that Stiles had a boyfriend for long enough for it to be this serious. Scott never knew anything, but he knew this before Derek. Stiles must not trust him.
Derek turned to resume painting once again. "Okay, I won't pry."
Stiles' jokes and jabs went unanswered the rest of the day, as Derek was glumly pouting. Stiles had a boyfriend, and he didn't even tell him.
Afterwards they couldn't stay because of the paint fumes, so Stiles suggested they just go home.
Probably to text his boyfriend, Derek thought.
The next week after the paint had aired out enough he asked Malia to help him with putting the carpet in. When Malia mentioned the text at lunch it puzzled Stiles. Why Malia?
"Did he say why?"
Malia shrugged. "He mentioned it's easier with two people. Oh, and he had said that he could help me with social studies for the big test."
Stiles nodded. Derek was probably trying to bond with his cousin. It was nice of him, but Malia didn't get along with many people.
Stiles was shocked on Friday when the carpet Isaac picked out was beautifully installed and Malia was resting against a laughing Derek in the living room.
They helped them finish a few of the bedrooms before watching both Now You See Mes. On Sunday they had a studying day, and Malia was practically teaching Isaac.
Stiles had thought it was a little strange when he asked Malia to do a project with just him, but when he asked Scott to lay the wood and finish the stairs during the week he thought it was straight up weird.
Saturday while they painted the banister of the steps, Stiles drug Scott upstairs to a room.
He shut the door behind them. "What did you guys do?"
"What do you mean?"
"He's been doing a project with every pack member! I thought Peter, just showed up for the roof, but now I think he invited him. Boyd and him built the porch, Erica did the lights, Jackson primed the walls with him. Which I thought was just a coincidence because of the suspension, but I asked Erica and apparently Derek dropped him off, and planned on picking him up already. Now you with the floors. You didn't even know how to install wood flooring!"
Stiles had a crazed look in his eyes. "Oookay I'm going to need you to dial the conspiracy theorist down a few notches. Dude you're being crazy."
"Am I Scott? I overheard Derek and Allison talking- there's talk about Argent and my dad helping tile. My dad, Scott! And Argent! And Derek! And nobody else! Tiling!"
"By overheard you mean eavesdropping. Bro listen to yourself. There's talk? Who cares who helps him tile? He's probably just sick of having to work by himself during the week."
"Who cares?" Stiles flailed. "I care Scott! Guess who hasn't gotten in on the little paired project cult? Me!"
"Your dad and Argent won't be alone."
Stiles bawlked. "Of course not! My dad arrested him Scott! And Argent's sister is friggin Kate! Of course he's got a buffer!"
"Stiles you're being crazy and I'm going to leave now."
"You're in on Derek's freaky one on one project cult and it's not fair you won't tell me."
"Goodbye."
Later when Derek went to the kitchen to get more paint he felt Stiles creeping behind him.
"Yes Stiles?"
"It never stops sucking that I can't sneak up on you."
"Did you sneak up on me just to lament you can't sneak up on me orrr.."
"What did you and Scott talk about?"
Derek squinted at him. "Why do you want to know?"
"Why don't you want to tell me?"
"Why do you want me to tell you?"
Stiles groaned. "Because I want to know what you talked about."
"Why do you-" Oh Stiles wanted to know if Scott spilled the beans about Stiles' boytoy. "If you're worried about if Scott told me about your secret, don't worry he didn't." Derek brushed past him, leaving him to his thoughts.
What secret? Did he currently have a secret? He wasn't worried Scott told him a secret until now, now he was very worried. Scott knew too many secrets about him for him to not know which one he told Derek. It better not have been the one about Kansas. He would kill him if it was. What other secret could it be?
"SCOTT!!"
After multiple assurances Scott told him nothing, not even that thing with the turtle and Mrs. Mia, Stiles still didn't believe him. Stiles stuck his tongue out across the room while cuddling Allison. Scott gave defeated puppy eyes at having lost both of his cuddle buddies for romcoms. They watched 21 Dresses and The Fault in Our Stars. Scott was making the best of cuddling Isaac though, he carded his fingers through his hair till he fell asleep.
Sunday they painted the porch, put in all the bathtubs, and went out to see Joker.
The next week tiling with Derek, John, Argent, and no body else was started.
Wednesday the sheriff came home to spaghetti dinner, with meatballs, and no zucchini noodles, he let out a sigh. "Kid, I'm tired. I just got done tiling Derek's house. I have to work in the morning. If this is a bribe it can wait till morning. If this is an apology I forgive you. If this is anything else I'll ask you who you are and what you've done with my son."
"It's neither of those, I just want to talk about my lovely father's day." Stiles had been worrying all day.
John appraised him. "Well then, I actually had a more eventful day at the office. Janice brought in-"
"Long john donuts. Yes I know. She does every Wednesday. I know what happens at the station. Were there any other eventful parts of your day?"
"If you count Argent cutting off Derek's hand with a power saw eventful, but Janice br-"
"What!?"
"Oh relax. It wasn't on purpose and he healed."
Stiles fumbled for his phone. "Just like the jackass to not call."
"I don't know why he didn't. His hand grew back like a dammed hydra, he has three hands he coulda picked up the phone with now."
Stiles narrowed his eyes. "Apparently someone isn't too tired for jokes, wiseass."
"Relax Stiles. It's been going well. Jesus I don't think your mother stressed this much about me spending time with your dziadek, and we were dating already."
"Dad!"
There were jokes on the first Saturday about how quickly grout dries that made all three men laugh, and nobody else got.
Stiles tried to commiserate with Allison about how weird it was, but she thought it was cute.
It was a torturous three weeks.
The first week they watched The Matrix series. The second they watched The Avengers and Age of Ultron, then Infinity War and Endgame, because Chris had never seen them. That was another thing, sometime during the weeks Argent had become Chris.
They still had to do a couple more bathrooms before they were done, but there could only be a couple people working at a time so the rest played cards. Once they were done they all joined cards, then they watched The Lone Ranger. Peter hadn't stayed for any of the movies since Mean Girls and had been busy a lot of the times they asked for his help, so Stiles was pretty sure he came and stayed because Derek said Argent was going to be there.
Sunday they put in all the toilets and shower fixtures. With all the flooring done Derek thought it looked like an actual house, almost like the original, but different. Not better or worse, just different, new was almost the right word.
The next week Derek asked Allison to help him with the trim and library, and Stiles tried really hard to not be offended he still hadn't been asked yet. Saturday they pulled up the driveway to Allison excitedly teaching Derek how to throw knives, he failed at not being offended that he hadn't had his bonding moment yet.
The weekend they finished the third floor and watched The Expendables.
Stiles made a plan for the next week. It was Isaac's exclude Stiles week and they were getting and putting up blinds. It wouldn't take them all week, and Issac had evening classes on Wednesdays and Thursdays so it was perfect. Stiles would show up Wednesday to drop off food for them, forgetting about Isaac's classes and boom! They would plan their project. It was perfect.
Well it was until he walked in on Lydia and Derek in the middle of a hard core design and decor planning session. They already met constantly to shop and talk, but apparently they needed even more time. They said it was perfect timing because they needed his opinion on some things. He answered quickly, dropped the carbonara off, and made his excuses to leave.
Well that was it. Everyone in the pack had officially had a week or project, except him. A tiny part of him whispered that maybe Derek was saving the best project for him, or maybe Derek viewed the planning and research as his. That was quickly squashed by the bigger part that was angry.
Derek had asked if they could push them meeting there Friday till Saturday since there was nothing much to do till the furniture was delivered on Saturday and Sunday, the pack agreed. Stiles had cooled down a lot, someone had to be last why not him. Also maybe there was some big super important task left, one that Stiles was completely forgetting even after racking his brain all night. That was entirely possible. Likely even. There was no reason to be mad. He decided to go early with a peace offering of cake to make up for leaving Wednesday so early.
When he walked in Friday night to see Danny installing TVs and a surround sound system with Derek, he walked right back out. He went home and ate the entire cake, so he didn't feel as bad about lying to the pack about being sick because he really did feel sick then.
With all of the texts he got from the pack in the morning he wasn't getting out of the day.
"Dude are you okay? You look like shit."
Scott's words were comforting, especially since he wasn't even fucking sick. "Gesh Scottie you really know how to make a gal feel special." Sure he hadn't slept much, and he had cried as much as something that makes you eat an entire cake warrants, but other than that peachy.
"You sound nasally."
Thank you Cora. Maybe he was a little stuffy and had a cough, but there was so much dust it's to be expected.
Derek came up to him and felt his forehead. "You feel hot."
"Whoa is batman sick?"
"Stop it. I am not sick."
"You were sick yesterday."
"That was different."
"I'm sorry mister mucus monster if you could repeat that?"
"Haha." Stiles deadpanned. "I-I'm not s-si-Aa...CHEW! ick."
He was sick.
Derek tossed Boyd his keys and wallet. "Get some duchess soup from Mamma Tammi's, and pick up some flu medicine too." Jackson walked out the door with him.
"I don't have the flu!"
Derek looked him up and down. "Okay, try convincing me when you aren't about to eat your own snot."
Stiles wiped his nose on his sleeve.
"And some tissues!" Allison shouted.
"That is disgusting." Cora sneered.
"I remember a time you ate your boogers."
Isaac laughed and Cora turned red. "You jerk!"
"It's perfect that you're here though batman, so we can take care of you. While we watch movies of course."
Stiles squinted. "What if I don't want to watch movies?"
Erica pouted. "You always want to watch movies."
Stiles raised an eyebrow.
"Uggh fine. We want to try out the new surround sound. Derek wouldn't let us try it without you."
"He needs rest."
"Do not, sourwolf."
Derek rose an eyebrow at him. "Sure."
"Besides this is the perfect opportunity to get Scott to watch Star Wars."
After a few more protests they settled in with the original trio. All of the pack was snuggled into him somehow, damn werewolves not being able to get sick, except Allison on a chair and Lydia across the room. When he walked past to get to the bathroom she covered her mouth with her shirt and sprayed him with Lysol. With how cozy he felt he drifted off. He woke briefly when the mattress people got there and Derek had to get up, he remembered being happy hearing they would set them up so nobody had to move before drifting back off as he heard Yoda say something about no trying and doing. If he wasn't so tired he could think of it. He woke back up again when they moved the air mattress to get the couch in. With all of them moving the two giant sectionals, various chairs, and end tables Stiles started to shiver. Even under layers and layers of blankets. The werewolves made quick work of the heavy furniture, but they still weren't back soon enough for Stiles' liking. As all the pack passed the slightly deflated mattress in favor of the new comfy couch he made grabby hands towards Derek.
"Come. Heat. Cold."
"I'm glad in those eloquent words there was a please."
Stiles frowned cutely at him. "Please."
Derek crawled under the covers and gathered Stiles against his chest. Stiles drifted back to sleep with his second favorite badass Padme scene playing in the background. Sunday passed similarly, with Stiles dozing and the pack fussing over him while watching space battles. The desk for the office and the table and desk for the library arrived along with lamps for around the house. Later the nightstands for their bedrooms came with Derek's personal bookshelf, despite having an entire library. The man making the island called to say it wasn't ready yet, which disappointed Isaac.
Stiles' dad didn't want him to come home and get him sick so he stayed with Derek while everyone else left. Monday he was feeling better. They were eating breakfast Derek went out to get when someone knocked at the door. Derek opened the door to see Deaton loaded down with boxes of books.
"This should be enough to get you started. I have the truck loaded down."
Stiles got up urgently. "Is there something that needs to be researched? Did something happen?"
Deaton peaked around the boxes. "Ah Stiles. I wasn't aware you would be joining us."
"For what?"
"Derek didn't tell you? We're stocking his library with some of my old lore books. He asked me to help arrange them."
"Sorry I forgot that was today."
Un-fuckin- believable! Deaton even got something before he did!
"Did he now! Well that's great! Well I should probably get going."
Derek moved closer. "Are you sure? This will only take a bit. Are you up to driving yet?"
"I'm sure." Stiles walked out without a single sign there was anything wrong.
"Okay, What was wrong with you?" Derek spoke while climbing through his window effortlessly.
Stiles kept his face neutral. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"That." Derek pointed to his face. "And definitely all of this." Derek made a circular wide sweeping motion that gestured to his entire body.
Stiles looked down at himself. He was laid on his bed with his back against the head board. His legs were neatly crossed running down the center of the bed, and his hands were delicately intertwined and sat on his lap. "To what are you referring? Did you perhaps missmell a chemo signal? Even sniffer dogs are only right half the time."
Whoa mean dog jokes, he was pissed.
"What did I do?"
"You didn't do anything." No heartbeat jump. The truth.
"Are you mad at someone else?"
"I'm not mad at anyone." Heart jump, okay so he was mad at Derek. Otherwise he would've said no.
"Was it something I said?"
"You didn't say anything." There was that weird way he was saying things again, but apparently it wasn't something he said.
"Was it something you did?"
Stiles shot him a nasty look, and he immediately put his hands up.
"Okay so it's definitely me." Stiles wasn't saying anything about him reading his heartbeat, so he must've wanted him to figure it out. "Was it something I didn't mean to do, but did on accident?"
"You didn't do anything Derek ."
Why was he saying it li- Oh. "Was it something I didn't do?"
Just like that Stiles' arms and legs came uncrossed, and he was sprawled on the bed. "I don't know Derek what didn't you do?" Stiles was hoping he would be all like, 'Oh yeah I forgot to invite you for our super awesome bonding week, where we get closer like the rest of the pack. Were going to bedazzle the house walls.'
"I forgot to brush my teeth this morning?"
Not the time for jokes, I repeat not the time for jokes. Stiles flailed flail number 47, 'You done fucked up and I'm done.' he knew this one, he hated this one. It was a barely there flail, blink and you miss it. It reminded Derek of a dead fish's last flop. "You're right. I'm mad because of halitosis." Stiles turned away from him and pulled the covers up. "Turn my light off when you leave."
Stiles wasn't just mad, he was also hurt. What in the hell had he done?!
Derek moved closer to the bed and slid in behind Stiles. "I don't know what I didn't do yet. Can you tell me so I can apologize?"
"It's fine. I'm upset over nothing." The blankets rustled and Derek could tell that Stiles wiped tears away with his blanket.
"It's not nothing if you're upset." Derek burrowed into Stiles to try and stop his crying, but it only made it worse. "Tell me." Derek placed a kiss to the side of his neck. "Please?"
"Why didn't you want to do a project with just me? I mean I know it's silly, but you did one with literally everyone else."
Derek felt relieved. This was perfect, he could invite Stiles right now without it being weird. "Is that all this is about? Well then how about tomorrow? I've been meaning to swing by Ikea. It won't take long we can just pop in and out."
Stiles' tears were gone instantly.
To be replaced with rage. Pop in and out? What, were they getting throw pillows?! Oh wait no, Lydia gets those with her project. One that's taken almost a much time as the reno itself, and resulted in them saying things like, 'That back splash with that paint? Oh hunny no.' Maybe TV brack- oh no. Danny already installed those. Danny! HE ISN'T EVEN IN THE PACK! Argent tiled the god damn house his sister burned down, and Stiles gets a quick pop in Ikea?!
Stiles got up. "Actually, I think I'm going to lay on the couch. Lock the window on your way out."
That was something he said when he was done. Like I don't want to even see your face done. They both knew he couldn't lock the window from the outside, it was something Stiles said when he wanted him to know he wasn't welcome.
Stiles didn't even look back before slamming his door.
Derek was just back from his morning run and pouring himself a cup of coffee when he heard the doorbell. That's odd. Even if someone did try it out he was expecting them to just walk right in.
He opened it to see Stiles. An overly cheerful Stiles. "Mornin, mornin Derek! Can I come in?"
Derek's stomach rolled. "Of course, you can always come in. You know th-"
"Great. Cute bell. Last night?"
"Yeah." Derek eyed him warily.
"Cool, cool. Did Natalie help you install it? I mean you're trying to involve everyone right?" Stiles scrunched his nose and any other time it would've been cute, but not with the way his face was plastered with a fake smile.
"Nooo? I did it myself. Stiles, not that you aren't welcome, but why are you here? The counters aren't du-"
Stiles flailed number 78, 'I'm about to pretend to be fine, when I actually want to rip your face off.' "I'm here for Ikea silly."
Derek didn't think this was the best idea. "Are you sure you stil-"
"Great. Go get dressed."
Derek could tell there was no room for argument. So an hour later there they stood in Ikea.
"So Derek, what are we picking up? I mean you and Lydia already picked out the dishes and the silverware an-"
"The dining room table."
Stiles looked confused. "What happened to the one you ordered?"
Derek looked straight ahead. "I didn't order it."
"What!? Why not? It was perfect. Everyone loved it, it had enough space, it came wit-"
"You didn't like it."
"Yeah, but everyb-"
"You didn't like it."
Stiles stopped his protests. "Okay." Derek was pleased that Stiles seemed satiated with that.
"Good thing we didn't get it too, the dining room floor Scott picked wouldn't look as good with it."
He was back to grumpy. Derek just couldn't win.
Every time he would suggest something Stiles would grumble something practical, but harsh. All of his attempts at peace were misconstrued, and even his jokes and attempts at pronouncing the furniture were ignored.
Derek sighed. "Look we aren't finding anything. How about we eat quick and head home?"
"I'm starving and want to leave, perfect." Stiles pushed past him to where the cafeteria was.
Derek hung his head and let out a breath before following him.
"This food is good isn't it?" Derek tried to make small talk about a safe subject.
"I guess." Stiles pushed around his meatballs and gravy.
Derek tried to get him to meet his eyes. "What are you talking about, you love this kind of thing. Weren't you hungry?"
"I guess not."
Derek couldn't take this any longer. "Alright I'm done. I'm done coddling you! What did I do?"
"You di-"
Derek interrupted. "Oh don't start that 'You didn't do anything.' bullshit! What happened?! Tell me or stop acting like it's a big deal! I think you're making something out of nothing!" Derek whisper shouted, clearly not wanting to make a scene.
Well too bad. He started this, but Stiles would be damned if he wasn't going to finish it.
"You don't think it's a big deal?! Something out of nothing?!" Stiles shouted, drawing the attention of near by people. Derek blanched realizing his mistake. "I'm sorry if I'm a little upset that you're inviting everyone to do little fucking bonding projects when I'm the one you started this with! And then when I tell you this you just," Stiles lowered his voice to mock Derek. "'Oh, we could quick pop down to Ikea for a table.' Like I'm just some cheap whore you could take to olive garden to impress!"
Everyone that was staring quickly looked away and went on with their business, except one lady on the opposite side turned her chair around and held her tray in the air to eat while watching.
"Stiles can we do this at home?" Derek ducked down to whisper.
"Oh will that be my project?! Yelling at each other at home?! Or is it even my home?"
Derek saw red, Stiles knew that wasn't something to joke about. "Of course it is! You're the whole reason I'm building the damn house!" Derek was shouting back.
"Oh so now I forced you to build it, and you don't even want to have me involved anymore!"
"Stiles you're being ridiculous! You helped with the walk though with me! Of course I want you involved!"
"Oh really?! Then why does it feel like exclude Stiles from having a bonding week with Derek is your guy's inside joke?! And I was only there because I made you! That doesn't count! Danny even did the TVs! Danny! Deaton spent yesterday organizing the library! You don't even like Deaton!"
Derek scoffed. "I like Deaton just fine."
"Still! Deaton gets the library and I get a quick pop down to Ikea! You've already been here with Lydia! How come you didn't ask me to help with something bigger?! Am I not important enough?!"
The lady oooed and slurped a noodle.
"Oh yeah well how come you didn't ask me to help you find whatever you needed?! You still haven't told me what it was! You asked some other man to help you! Your little secret boyfriend!" Derek pointed an accusing finger.
Stiles looked confused, and the lady's mouth dropped open.
"My what?"
"Oh don't play dumb, I saw you smiling at your phone. It's another..." Derek was pulled out of the moment enough to catch his almost slip. "man like me! And Scott knows, but you didn't tell me!"
"I'm not dating anyone, and if you could pull your head out of your ass for two seconds, you'd see that."
Derek could hear his heartbeat so he knew it wasn't true, but he said it anyway.He knew it would get to him. "Whatever, Lydia thinks you are to get back at me. I believe her, because you're a liar."
Stiles face went wide with rage. He stood still till he used his spoon to flick a meatball at Derek in spite.
It hit him in the cheek and it left a gravy trail where it rolled down.
The rest of the cafeteria scattered like roaches once they started slinging food, but the lady just laughed and dodged a frisbee thrown cookie.
Turns out globby mashed potato hair and gravy face goes perfectly with a lifetime ban from Ikea. No really, the staff insists. Strongly. All the way to your car.
They didn't speak for several moments while they leaned against the car. Finally Stiles whirled on Derek and pointed a finger, before he could speak though a glob of mashed potatoes fell from his hair and landed on the floor with a splat. The both looked down at the poor pile of mashed potatoes and when they looked back up their eyes met.
They both burst out laughing. In between laughs they could barely get out scraps of sentences.
"Gravy-"
"Rolling meatball-"
"Banned from Ikea." After that one they laughed so hard they had to support themselves against the car.
They slowly stopped laughing. Their eyes again. They stood there staring and smiling at each other.
"We look ridiculous."
"And we definitely are not getting in my car like this." Stiles nodded. Derek unlocked his car and went around to the passenger side. He came back with a stack of napkins. He laid the rest on top of the car before starting to clean off Stiles' face. He gently grabbed Stiles' chin to keep him in place.
Stiles stared into his eyes as he wiped the gravy from his face.
He spoke in a soft voice. "I was mad because I felt excluded. The whole time it felt like this amazing pack thing, like we were all getting closer. And when you started doing individual projects I was happy that you were getting solo time with them, but then I didn't. The house was almost done and it felt like everyone had put finishing touches on the house, that made the house theirs, except me. I saw how close them doing things with you made you guys and I wanted that."
Derek's wiping stopped. "Sti, you are the only reason I even had the courage to start this. This whole thing is because of you. Yes, I did want everybody to have something they did to include them, but I never meant to exclude you. I was saving you for last. I wanted to get the table with you bec-"
"You just last minute threw that idea out there." Stiles rolled his eyes, and tried to look away.
Derek held his chin in place. "I didn't get that other table because you didn't like it. I decided when all was said and done I would ask you to pick out a table with me. The rest of the jobs were either they knew how to do it or it was just convenient, but with you I wanted to pick out the table. Because no matter what, no matter who was fighting, who was busy, who was tired when I was growing up we sat around the table for dinner. We were always brought together for dinner. We sat around that table and ate as a pack, even when we didn't want to be family. We sat around that table while we were at war with a rival pack. We did homework at that table, we made things, we helped my Pops with special dinners. We did everything at that table, and I wanted you to pick out this one because that's what you do. You bring us together. You brought me together, when I didn't even know this was something breaking me. No matter what is happening, you do every time. You help the pack with their homework, you teach Jackson how to make grilled cheese sandwiches, you, Stiles bring us together. So I wanted you to pick it out. That was your project. And you did it. I've never felt closer to the pack. I'm just sorry you felt excluded from that."
Derek let go of his chin and Stiles looked down. Derek could smell the tears salting the mashed potatoes on the ground.
"So- so what you're saying is, you got everything in the house but the kitchen table... because I'm the table?"
Stiles looked back up at him with tears in his eyes and an amused smirk, he still had mashed potatoes in his hair.
Derek didn't know how someone could be so beautiful.
"Yes. You're my kitchen table, Stiles."
"I have never wanted to kiss someone covered in gravy as much as I do now."
Derek froze.
Stiles kissed his cheek and got frosting on his lips. "But you still aren't ready, and that's okay."
Derek looked down at the pink frosting on his lips, and Stiles licked it away.
"Someone told me that even if I'm not ready for some things I should still tell you how I feel. I feel like I really want to kiss you right now, even if I don't feel ready for it." Derek still needed to know without a doubt. He knew Stiles wasn't Kate or Jennifer, he just needed to know that he wasn't Paige. Her loss changed him forever, but Stiles' would kill him. He needed to know that he was actually being led to Stiles and that this wasn't just another wonderful thing he would loose. He had lost too many things to not be sure.
"Alright. Let me know when you're ready."
The entire next week everyone was constantly in and out of the Hale house. Everyone showed up to help finalize. Everyone was moving their things into their rooms, and putting the finishing touches on the house. Cabinetry and counter tops arrived on Tuesday and Wednesday, then Thursday all the kitchen appliances arrived, even Scott's specially ordered toaster. Stiles tried to not let his dad lift any of the counter tops, but when Argent and Peter started snickering he stared into Stiles' eyes as he helped lift it.
Friday they decorated. When Derek found out that Stiles' 'secret boyfriend' was actually an alpha that knew his mother that Stiles got a picture from, he nearly cried. When he walked up to where the picture was hung in the mudroom he did cry. He hadn't seen a photo of all of them together since before all their photo albums burned up in the fire.
"I know I said you had to let go but I didn't mean forget. I thought that even if you can't hold them it might be nice to wave at them. Just to let them know you still think about them as you walk through the house."
Derek spoke with a voice filled with emotion. "Ho-how did you?"
"I used a spell to locate it. When I sensed the location housed the supernatural, I asked Deaton and he put me in touch with the alpha there. This was taken wh-"
"When we brokered a treaty with them." Derek's fingertips ghosted over the photo with reverence. "Lillian was so little." He smiled looking at her. "Thank you Stiles. I could never repay this."
He shrugged. "It was nothing."
Derek looked at him with teary eyes. "It means everything to me. Not a single thing you do means nothing, to me. This is everything."
After Derek turned back to the photo he could tell he should leave.
He went to go through to the living room, but Peter caught him by the arm.
"Peter wh-" He hauled him into a hug.
"Thank you for letting me see them again."
Stiles would think he was never there if he didn't have a lingering wet spot on his shirt and clear sight of Peter walking over to hug his nephew. After Derek called Cora over he took one last look at them all leaning on each other remembering their family before he got back to work.
After a hectic Saturday morning, the pack thought they would be all set for their first night in the house. They had a peaceful quiet lunch. Afterwards they filled all of the cabinets with the dishware, silverware, pots and pans, cooking utensils,and other miscellaneous things they had gotten. Allison and Lydia were putting throw blankets and pillows in the living room while DJing. Issac and Cora installed the fridge yelling lyrics of duets and songs they made into duets to Boyd and Scott who were making all of the beds upstairs.
Stiles was grinning down at an equally happy Derek while he was handing him fancy plates to put on the top shelf.
"They're crazy. How is our pack so crazy?"
Stiles looked down from where he was stood on a chair with a fond look before speaking. "You wouldn't have it any other way, sourwolf."
Derek paused handing him the next plate, before setting it down. "No I wouldn't." Derek lit up like a Christmas tree, before getting a devilish glint in his eyes.
"Der- WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Derek picked him up by the back of his legs. "Put me down!"
"No we're in the pack too. We have to be crazy too!" Derek started waltzing around in circles while holding Stiles up high. Cora and Issac started laughing.
"Come on Stiles they finally played Christmas music for you, sing!"
Stiles shook his head. "You're so weird!"
"AND ALL THE LIGHTS ARE SHINING, SO BRIGHTLY EVERYWHERE!" They both laughed as Derek sang loudly and twirled them into the living room. "AND THE SOUND OF CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER FILLS THE AIR!" Lydia and Allison laughed like witches as they danced around with them.
Stiles belted out the next lyric. "AND EVERYONE IS SINGING, I CAN HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS RINGING!" Erica and his dad came to watch them with grins and cameras.
They nearly ran into Jackson and Malia on their way to the steps.
They sang the next lyric together. "SANTA WON'T YOU BRING ME THE ONE I REALLY LOVE, WON'T YOU PLEASE BRING MY BABY TO MEEEE!"
Stiles sang the next lyric to Peter and Argent where they were working on a bathroom. "I DON'T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS, THIS IS ALL I'M ASKING FOR! NO I- Whoa!" Stiles grabbed the back of Derek's neck for balance.
Derek ran them over to the doorway of the room Scott and Boyd were working in and continued the song. "STANDING RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR!"
Stiles joined back in.
"I JUST WANT YOU FOR MY OWN." Stiles gestured to Boyd and then Derek motioned to Scott. "MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW! MAKE MY WISH COME TRUUUE!" They went even louder for the finale. "YOU KNOW THAT ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS," Scott and Boyd reached out for them. They sang the next lyric even louder. "IS YOUUUUU!!!" Right as they did Scott and Boyd turned and reached for each other.
Stiles went to look down at Derek in disbelief, but when he did Derek looked up and sang the next lyric to him softly. "Is youuu." Stiles smiled back at him.
Promiscuous started playing.
"Derek get your ass down here! Batman had his turn, put him down! This is our song! You better not miss your next part!" She went immediately into singing. "You lookin' for a girl that'll treat you right, you lookin' for her in the daytime with the light."
Derek's singing was terrible while holding Stiles and running. "You might be the type if I play my cards right, I'll find out by the end of the night."
"You expect me to just let you hit it, but will you still respect me if you get it?"
"All I can do is try, give me-"
"DEREK! THE CEILI-"
"One chance."
"THUNK THUNK THUNK!"
"OW!"
There was no more dancing while holding people in the air near ceiling fans.
Once Stiles was back on the ground they laughed as he held his head.
"Oh my gold that is gold Stilinski!"
"I'm sorry." Derek could barely get it out in between laughter.
"Laugh it up jackasses." Even Stiles was smiling.
They were all doubled over in laughter so long they had to restart it for Erica and Derek.
Later Scott and Stiles sang islands in the stream, while everyone rolled their eyes.
They just had finishing touches to do before they could start the movie. Derek was listening to his pack belt out the lyrics to happy, when he realized he was. He was truly happy in a way he hadn't been since the fire. He felt complete and at peace, like he had finally healed. Looking over to where Stiles was singing into a bottle scrubber, Derek felt it. All of this was because of him, he healed him. He made him want to be better. He made him want to deserve to be happy, to deserve him. He had never felt something as sure as he did that Stiles was meant for him. He was meant to be his, he knew it now.
He got up to make his way to the kitchen determined.
"I'm so happy happyyy!" They were surprisingly in tune as they all sang.
"Hey Alli your phone is ringing."
"I'm happy happy!"
The gleeful mood was cut through like a knife as Allison's chemo signals became discordant with theirs by flooding anxiety and discomfort.
The wolves noticed immediately.
Derek paused his walk to the kitchen.
Boyd turned down the music.
"Babe what's wrong?" Scott looked concerned.
"It's some old friends of my dad."
The room instantly was silent.
Isaac spoke. "Don't answer it!"
Peter came storming down, pissed. Derek guessed his own moment was interrupted. "I agree with the cub, don't answer it."
Her dad came trailing after. "What am I missing?"
"Dave and Maria."
Argent looked down at her phone with understanding.
"Hang up!" Jackson urged.
"Well maybe not. What if they want to see if she's in for a hunt, say for us? We could use the heads up!" Lydia spoke logically.
"They aren't like that! They're some of the good ones."
Peter spoke while edging away from Argent. "You want to answer it!"
Allison looked shocked. "NO!"
Scott came to her side. "She's not like that, you know that Peter. Back off."
Derek was overwhelmed with how fast the peace had turned to chaos. He didn't know what to say.
"Well then why hasn't she hung up!"
"They keep calling, it could be important."
"Not your problem. You picked your side princess, or did you ?" Peter snarled.
Argent pushed Peter back. "Cool it. If I remember correctly you also didn't have a side once."
The sheriff moved his hands up and down to calm them. "Settle down everyone."
"How can we?"
It was all too much. He felt like everything was crashing down. He felt the building crumble beneath him. He felt a warm hand slide into his. He looked and he saw Stiles. He held his eyes as he nodded up and down reassuringly.
Derek turned back to the argument. "Answer it."
All eyes turned to him.
"Derek are you sure? I won't if you don-"
"Answer it. I trust you." He nodded.
It was tense as she answered the call and spoke for several moments. When she hung up there was silence till Derek spoke again.
"Go."
Stiles pulled his hand from Derek's and stood in front of him. "What?! No! She didn't say anything. You told her to answer it! Alli what was it about?"
"Maria was in a hunting accident taking down a rogue omega a couple towns over. Dave needs to be with her, but they don't have anyone to watch the kids."
"Sure a rouge omega. Next thing you know we're classified as a rogue pack!"
"They aren't like that! They investigate. See both sides. They are good!" Allison defended herself from Peter again. "They wouldn't just kill someone." The last part she pleaded to Derek.
"Okay. I believe you. Go."
"Nephew! I-"
Derek roared. "Enough Peter! Even if they were those kinds of hunters, they are just children. Wondering where their mother is. Scared and alone. Are you willing to burn the innocent to punish the ones you think guilty?" They all listened the words, but what they heard was, 'Are you like the one that took everything from you?'
Peter settled and seemed ashamed.
Derek turned back to Allison. "Nous protègons ceux qui ne peuvent pas se protèger eux-měmes. Go. Protect them."
"Thank you. You can tell me about the movie tomorrow." She hurriedly grabbed her things.
Stiles spoke up. "You're pack. We can't have pack movie night or the first night in the pack house without you. We'll do it tomorrow."
Argent and Allison left in a hurry, soon followed by Peter. Lydia and Jackson left with a mutter about extra time for college prep. Boyd and Erica offered to drop Issac and Cora off at the loft so Derek could stay behind and check a few things. The sheriff left after stealing another soda. It was just Scott, Stiles, and Derek. Once Scott left Derek could finally talk to Stiles.
"Oh shoot. Alli was my ride."
"Don't worry bro, I can drop you off."
"Thanks man."
Derek would talk to him tomorrow apparently.
The night stretched on, and tomorrow took forever to come. He laid awake wanting nothing more than to just talk to Stiles, but if it was right he could wait. It was right, he knew it.
Stiles took forever to get there, so by the time he did there was talk about going shopping to fill the empty pantry and cabinets. After they talked with Allison, they were off to the store.
"I swear to god if you guys don't decide on what cereal you want, nobody is getting any!"
"Why do we have to pick one, Stiles?" She whined.
"Because otherwise you eat all except half and open another one!"
"You're no even the one that's paying." Isaac brought out.
They all looked at Derek. He looked in between the pack and Stiles. "You can pick four cereals."
Stiles threw his hands up in the air.
"Does oatmeal count?" Scott asked.
Derek looked at Stiles as he crossed his arms. "Oatmeal counts." He looked slightly appeased.
By the time they finally got home it was early afternoon. Then they had to put everything away, so they were exhausted. They took a nap to test out the new couch. If Derek hadn't been awake almost all night he would've stayed awake, but slowly his eyelids drooped.
Derek awoke a couple hours later to see Stiles drooling on Malia. He sleepily smiled. Seeing him like that made him ache to talk to him, but it was right so he could wait.
They slowly woke up they wanted to start the new movies they got, once Stiles did he demanded the new Aladdin.
It was right. He could wait till the everyone fell asleep to talk to him.
"Hey guys what if we did an all nighter? You now for the first night in the new house. Like a sleepover."
Derek was about kill Scott and shoot down the idea when-
"I've never had a sleepover." Curse Isaac and his adorable puppy eyes.
"Well me and Scott are pros so we'll teach you."
It was past midnight and Derek was crawling out of his skin. It didn't help that they were watching the notebook. Again! The sheriff, Argent, and Peter were long asleep, which he wished everyone but Stiles would follow. He went to the kitchen to get a drink.
"What do you really not like romantic movies? How could you not, we've only watched this one three times." Stiles started to pop another bag of popcorn.
Derek turned to give a tight smile. Oh god now that he was here this was so difficult. What if he said it wrong? What if Stiles didn't feel the same way anymore?
"What's wrong?"
Derek sighed and turned to lean back against the counter as he crossed his arms, which Stiles thought should be illegal for him when he's in joggers and a black tank top. His head hit the cabinets, but not before Stiles saw his face that means, 'I want to have an important conversation, but I'm emotionally constipated.'
With the quiet hum of the microwave Stiles settled against the counter opposite of Derek. "Are we going to talk about why you have constipated face? Orrr..."
"What would you say if I wanted to go for a run?" Derek's head was still tilted to the ceiling.
"I'd say that's something you normally would do even if I didn't know you, just because of what shape your body is in."
"No, not like a normal run."
"What? Do you mean now?" Stiles scoffed, but Derek didn't move.
"You mean now. Derek it is like two and pitch black out."
"The moon is out. And tonight is the best night for it. The only night."
"Why?"
"Well... I mean- uhh because I can feel my wolf pacing and it feels like it's clawing at my brain. I just- I have something on my mind and-and I need to know something. I need to do something, to prove something I've believed for a long time."
Stiles looked like he was trying his best to understand. "Okay. Then go. I'll make sure the pack is okay, and I'll clean up. I'll wait up to make sure you get ba-"
"No. No I don't want to go alone."
"Wait I don't understand? Do you want- Oh oh okay. You want the pack to come. This is like a wolf thing. Gotcha. Cuz for a second I thought-"
"No this-" Derek seemed reluctant to slowly interrupt.
"you meant me."
Derek stopped talking, so he continued.
"Which of course is crazy. I mean why would just you and I-"
Derek collected himself. "Stiles of course I meant the pack don't be stupid. And you're right it's a wolf thing."
"Okay. Yeah. Right. Alright let's get them then."
Derek looked like he was crazy. "Stiles it's the middle of the night they aren't going to want to just go out. It's cold out and they're in the middle of a movie."
Stiles rolled his eyes and scoffed with an air of superiority. "It's about tactics sourwolf. Also no one likes that movie except Lydia and Boyd. Watch and learn."
Stiles sauntered out of the room and Derek helplessly followed.
Stiles got the remote and clicked pause to be met with two disapprovals and a chorus of oh thank God.
"Alright pups I have an alternative to movie night. Who wants to-"
"Shut up Sti. It was finally my turn to pick a movie and I will not-"
"Who here wants to sign up for the mutiny against Lydia Martin's dictatorship over always doing The Notebook for her movie choice? Show of hands."
Lydia shot a glare at Jackson as everyone in the room except Boyd raised their hand.
"Okay. I propose a more exciting activity."
"Strip poker?"
"No, not exactly. Who wants to go for a run?"
Everyone looked at him like he had two fluffy ears and glowing eyes suddenly.
"What?"
"Oh come on it'll be fun!"
"Yeah sure whatever, but you Stilinski? You hate when coach makes us run more than literally everyone else in the school. And, oh I don't know, it's night."
"Well you know what they say, a good pitch black night is the best for a run."
"Sorry Stiles honey, but no. Now play my movie before I make you."
"Okay I didn't want to do this, but fine. Scott you're going. I could do this the long way and convince you, but we both know I will so just do it on good faith and awareness of the past. Allison you'll go because Scott is and because you love the woods at night. Derek's going so Isaac will. Erica you will go because you love me and because I agree to that favor you asked me, but I said no last Tuesday. Boyd you'll follow Erica. Malia you're always down for a run. And that leaves Lydia, you'll do this because of the business manager that I drove you to that night, neither of us will ever, and I mean ever, be able to forget that image, but I could've rejected your call but I didn't. So imagine this as pay back because you needed my car and for some reason to emotionally scar me. So Jackson will come because you do. Now are we all in agreement? Or do I need to repeat myself?"
Everyone sat in shock.
"And come on who hasn't wanted to go for a run as a pack in the middle of the night? It'll be fun. Like a secret party. Just us running with a thrill coursing through us. Now I'm going to run upstairs and grab my hoodie, last one ready to go and outside that door has to stay behind for five minutes and then catch up." Stiles dashed off.
They sat in silence.
"I don't know if that was scary or impressive." Isaac whispered slightly like maybe he could hear him through the floor.
"Both darling, but that's Batman for you."
Everyone still sat in quiet till Allison spoke, "Do you think he's joking? Or are we all going? Is he serious? He can't be serious."
Jackson spoke next, "This is so ridiculous. Why would we all just go running off into the woods in the middle of the night? It makes no sense. It would be stupid."
There was a shout. "I don't hear movement. Shall I make it ten? I've made it ten."
Derek could tell they needed a push. "You're right. You all wouldn't do such a thing. Especially with school tomorrow. What kind of childish, foolish group of kids would run in the woods this late?" Derek added one last thing. "It would be totally irresponsible."
Everyone scrambled up at once. There were shouts, shoves, and people slinging coats and scarves every which way. The door flung open as they all raced outside.
Lydia was the only one besides Stiles left. She walked up to him.
"Oh Derek? I totally know what you did there, but I am choosing to ignore it. M'kay?" She patted his cheek twice before turning and stalking out of the house.
Stiles was zipping up a coat from Derek's closet as he walked down the steps.
"Well that went well. I thought I would have more persuading to do once I got down here, but the elephant circus I heard down here was surprising and welcome. Thanks."
"Thank you, you're the one that did most of the convincing for me."
"No problem, but I do need forty bucks for the thing Erica asked me to do. Oh, and I hope you don't mind, I borrowed a jacket. Although I do hope this one isn't also the last thing you have left from a dead relative."
"Peter gave it to me so you're safe there. The bastard just won't die."
Stiles chuckled. "Alright well let's go. Don't want to be late."
"You already are. You're gonna be the last one out."
"Who says?"
Derek mock looked around. "They're all out there."
"You aren't."
"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure I can get out the door faster."
Stiles brazenly gave a wide knowing grin. "Really? Want to bet on that?"
"No magic?"
"No magic."
"Well then, I don't have to."
"Good man. Not betting on a losing horse."
"I fail to see my disadvantage." Derek smirked and crossed his arms.
"Really do you? Well, would you like to? You see, your disadvantage comes from the same place as my knowledge that I could get my hoodie on, search for the right coat, find my hat and gloves, tie my laces, and still get out that door before the last person."
"And where is that place, oh wise one?"
Stiles smirked and tapped his head. "I know you Derek. And I know one other thing."
"Really? Should we put that knowledge to the test?"
"Ready on three big guy?" They both were starting intently into each others eyes, both challenging the other. "One. Two. Three."
Derek was gone in a flash as Stiles fake flinched his own dash to the door.
Derek was leaning on the door frame with his forearms, having yet to cross the threshold. He could hear the pack a little ways off talking intently.
Derek finally heard a squeak in the floorboards that he didn't cause. "You see Derek, I know you..." Stiles ducked under his arm, and stayed close to him once he'd reached the other side. He gave him a fake coy smile. "And I knew you'd wait for me." Stiles patted his chest twice before turning away from him with a flirty wink. Stiles called without turning back, "Besides, my alpha has speed. You'll catch up, won't you?"
Derek closed his red eyes and took a few calming breaths before heading to his car.
When he finally got to the group Jackson asked, "So what? Are we just all going to run? What about the humans? I like winning, but up against Stilinski it's not even a game."
Stiles shot back. "It's not a game. It's pack bonding."
Derek spoke up. "Well actually it is a sort of game." At that the pack perked up and looked interested. "There will be two groups, and each team is made of pairs. One group will be seekers and one group will be hiders. And-"
"Okay it sounds really great so far and sorry for interrupting, but like what are those?" Stiles pointed to what Derek was holding.
"I was getting there. These are occaeco. They ar-"
"I might not speak archaic Latin, but I speak regular Latin and know what those plants and herbs are for. Occaeco. It means I make blind." Stiles looked puzzled even if he had figured out his question.
"Right. They are occaeco, mystical necklaces used in many rituals and practices."
Scott looked wary. "Um Derek, if you were looking for a way to make this totally tense and awkward, you found it dude."
"I am not putting something super witchy, that literally means to make blind around my neck."
Derek rolled his eyes. "Jackson my family and I used these all the time. My four year old cousin wore one for godsake. It's a family tradition, and no one has ever gone blind from it..." Derek suddenly looked contemplative. "Well I guess there was my great great uncle, what was his name? Jacob? No, Jack? Jackson that was it."
Everyone felt the shift in the air at his cousin being mentioned, and even jokingly.
"Okay fine."
"I promise they are harmless. They just make you undetectable to werewolves. They mask your scent, and muffle your heartbeat."
"What? Derek! Don't you think we could've used one of these when, oh I don't know, the alpha pack was attacking us!"
"Oh gee Stiles I never thought of that." He deadpanned. "They take a lot of time and energy to make. You need certain ingredients, and they have to be made with intent for a certain purpose. They're meant more just for fun though."
"What is this game called?" Erica asked with a competitive glint in her eyes. She always knew the right thing to ask.
"I-it's a complicated Latin name."
"Sourwolf I don't even need to know your heartbeat to know that was a lie."
Derek sighed. "It's called alphas and betas."
Snickers could be heard in the darkness.
"Like a werewolf cops and robbers? Oh my god this is the best!" Erica squealed.
"Shut up, and pair up. There should be at least one wolf per team. It should be with someone you are deeply connected with. Someone you think you could find even if you lost all of your senses."
Talking and arguing ensued.
"Hey bud do you want to be on my team?"
"Scott, I appreciate what you are doing here trying to be a considerate best friend by making sure I'm not the last kid picked for dodge ball, but if you and Allison were any more perfect for each other I'd throw up."
"Are you sure?"
"Go Scott."
"Me and Alli are a team."
"So are Jackson and I."
Derek handed them out as teams were called.
"Team sluts is a go. Sorry batman. Boyd also would like everyone to know he was not consulted on the name just subjected to it."
Cora spoke up. "We have odd numbers and I've played before, so I'll be the omega. If there's odd numbers the omega goes around trying to find the hiders before the seekers can."
Isaac started to speak. "I'm with-"
"Stiles is with me." Everyone looked with shocked faces to where they heard Derek's voice. Derek always paired with Isaac, so he didn't feel left out.
"But-" Derek brushed a reassuring arm up his.
"Isaac you're with Malia. You've been studying a lot together lately, right?"
They didn't need to see in the dark to know what red cheeks Isaac had, or how upset Cora was.
"Hey sourwolf, if you were looking for subtle you found it. And kept on driving right past it for several miles."
"Ugh whatever. As long as he wears the necklace."
"Did you make one for hi-" Stiles started.
"I knew she wouldn't wear it." Derek answered.
"Okay the game is won when the first team to find their teammate roars, but it continues till all pairs are found. Once you find your pair or are found you and your partner will head back to the house. If anyone gets lost take off your occaeco so we can find you."
Allison was messing with a necklace. "How do we figure out who's going to the alphas to find the betas in each pair? Does the alpha have to be a wolf?"
"That's not how the game works. You get your title at the end. The alphas are the first person to find someone and the last person found. The rest are betas. The seeker doesn't have to be a wolf."
More arguing ensued for several minutes.
"Okay is everyone final in their decisions? Okay great. Allison, Malia, Jackson, Erica, and Derek are the seekers, and me, Scott, Lydia, Boyd, and Isaac are the hiders. Hiders get a staggering twenty minute head start, thirty in my case."
"What?"
"No fair!"
"We never agreed to that rule."
"No ifs, ands, or buts. Derek was the last one out of the house. I didn't even know the game when I said it, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pleased. Alright go!" With no further warning Stiles was off, quickly followed by the rest.
Stiles could feel his breath hammering out in harsh big breaths, the cold felt like knives with every lung full of air.
He kept moving swiftly through the woods, even though his legs felt on fire. He had heard Malia and Jackson's roars and Allison's yell as they started their hunts earlier. In what felt like seconds later Derek let out a booming roar that caused Stiles' feet to carry him even faster with a thrill. He should've been panicked, but he was darting and twisting through the woods with a focused purpose.
He heard a, "Erica, Boyd is over here!" before snickering.
"Malia you ass! That's not how the game works!" Boyd's slowed steps turned to a dead run as Lydia yelled.
"What? I thought it was predators vs prey?"
There was a rapidly departing stoic voice, "No, that's not how it works."
Stiles held in his laughter as he continued running and leaving fake paths.
Everything was quiet for awhile. It had been awhile since Stiles had heard any hoots or hollers from the pack. Earlier he had heard a startled yell from Scott and then Allison's yell once again. He thought she would be the first one to find her pair, she'd been tracking since she could walk. He was surprised when Erica's victorious roar cut through the air. Malia had survived on her own so her roar, awhile later, came as no surprise. He had seen Cora go by from where he was hiding behind a tree and he had held his breath. She followed one of the fake paths, and he let it out. Stiles smiled thinking he might even have a shot at being the last found, and how mad Jackson would be. He wondered how Derek was doing.
Derek could feel the frustration in the form of fangs biting into his lip. He couldn't find Stiles. He couldn't help losing control. He heard Allison, then Erica, and even Malia. Malia and Isaac weren't even close! Isaac was only studying with her because they both needed the help and Cora seemed to pay more attention to him then! Derek had asked Stiles to do this to find answers, but now he was wishing he just stayed home. The game was a great cover for what he actually was trying to find out, but he wasn't ready to lose this badly. It hurt. He was so confused. He had been so sure before, so this was like a slap to the face. Maybe he was wrong.
Jackson's roar sounded. Derek lashed out and punched a nearby tree. He felt tears of frustration prick his eyes. His anger settled back to confusion and anguish.
Derek looked back up to the sky for what felt like the hundredth time. "Please. Just if you aren't leading me to him, stop. Please just stop making me think he's mine. I thought he was mine? Either show me to him or show me the truth. I want you to lead me to him. I might not deserve him, but I want him. He knows me. He knows my truth. Let him be my path or let me leave this one that keeps leading me to him."
"Mom?"
"Yes my darling?"
"Are moonmatches actually real?"
"I think so. Your dad is mine. Why sweetheart?"
"Do you think I will ever find my moonmatch?"
"Yes. I think you will. Why?"
"Because I've tried and I don't think I'll ever be able to find them. How do you know how to follow the moon when you find dad?" Derek's already quiet, sleepy voice turned to a whisper. "Does dad ever take off his occaeco so you can find him faster?"
"No he doesn't. It's not about knowing how, it's about knowing you will. And I'll let you know one other secret. You don't follow just the moon."
Derek's little eyebrows scrunched up.
"What do I tell you to say if you're scared, unsure, or alone?"
"The sun, the moon, and the truth."
"That's right little cub. The sun that lights the way, the moon that reflects the path, and the truth which carries the weight of the distance. One very important truth."
"What?" Derek covered a yawn with a tiny hand.
"I can't tell you that. Your truth is different than my truth. Just as your moon is different. I can tell you that you will find them though. I know you will. And my cub I promise you when you find them, you will know too. My little beacon of the sun. Your eyes shine too bright to not guide them home to you. You will find them and they will know your truth unlike any other ever could." Talia smoothed his blankets. "You will know when the time is right. Now sleep my little cub."
Derek was still looking at the sky as he remembered his mother all those moons ago.
What was his truth? What else would he follow if not the moon?
Derek was so frustrated. He pulled on his hair and squeezed his head. Why couldn't he think! Why didn't he know by now?! He self-deprecatingly thought that in his position Stiles would know.
Wait.
Stiles would know.
His mother said he would know who his mate was, but his mate was the one that would know the truth not him.
But then how was he supposed to find Stiles if Stiles is the one that knows his truth?
How was he supposed to find someone that is the person that knows where they are? It was all so complicated and he just wanted to find Stiles. But he couldn't find Stiles because he didn't know his truth. Even if according to his mother he didn't need to know his truth because Stiles knew it. By that logic he wouldn't need to find Stiles either because he-
Because he would find himself. Stiles would find himself.
This whole time he shouldn't have been looking for the moon to guide him, or the truth. He should've been following Stiles, and like he said at the doorway, 'I know you Derek.' Stiles knew him. He didn't need to find the moon, the truth, or even Stiles. This wasn't about finding out where Stiles would go, this was about where Derek would find him. Stiles would go somewhere Derek would.
Derek sprinted off in a dead run.
Trees were blurring by and branches were trying to slow his path. His chest was heaving. Finally his feet slowed once he saw a familiar place.
He heard a familiar voice too. One so familiar he would swear it was his.
"If that is anything other than Derek, you might as well eat me now because I'm not running. If it is, what took you so long?" Stiles spun around with a grin. Derek had never in his life been so happy to find such a smug bastard. Stiles grin fell. "You're hurt."
"You're here."
"I asked you first." Stiles had a fond smile.
Derek smirked. "Neither of us asked a question."
"Okay smart ass. Why are you hurt?"
"Because I couldn't wait any longer to do this." Like the glue keeping his feet in place had magically disappeared, Derek ran to Stiles.
Stiles held his breath waiting for the moment his lips would finally meet Derek's.
Derek wrapped him in a hug.
Stiles felt himself deflate. "Not that this isn't nice because this is really nice, but I thought you were going to kiss me. You know how badly I want you, so if we could not play with my feelings like that it'd b-"
"Stiles."
"Yes?"
"I want you too. But not like that. Not right now, not for this moment. I don't want you in the big grand moments, I want you in the small ones. The ones where you're quoting Captain America like breathing. The ones where you settle my pack by knowing the right words, the ones you settle me with the right words. The ones you drool on Malia, or bribe Erica. I don't want you in one grand ephemeral beginning, I want you in one long amazing middle, and when the end comes I'll want you in that too. I don't want you in one big finally there kiss. I want you in a hug that means I'm finally home. I don't want the momentary bliss of feeling your lips against mine. I want to hold you so tight we forget we aren't one, that we are actually just two people wound so closely together we forget that we are meant to be anything other than together. I want you. Forever. Not just now. But if you don't I und-"
Stiles gripped him impossibly closer. "I built a house with you. How much more forever could you get, stupid."
Derek let out a chuckle.
"I will love you Derek. For one long amazing middle. I can wait to kiss you until you're rea-"
Derek sweetly kissed his lips. "I'm ready."
Stiles understood now. He thought he did before, but he does now. That one small moment was worth ten thousand big dramatic kisses in the rain. That kiss told him Derek would be there always. It said Derek would take care of him. It was a kiss that said I want to spend everyday of my life rebuilding myself so you have a home for your heart. It told him Derek would lazily kiss his neck when he was mad he didn't put the milk away on sleepy Saturday mornings. It said I love you in a way that takes years to feel the magnitude of its intensity. It said to him, I will love you in little bits for the rest of our lives to show you that even broken down so small our love is still the greatest thing either of us will ever experience.
Stiles never believed that there was such a thing as too much of a good thing. He hauled him in for another kiss. A kiss that said I will love you every day of my life. I will start loving you today, and I will never stop. It told him I love you when you laugh. I will love you in the small moments to such an extent that you think they are the big moments. It said I will spend my life being loud so you will never know the pain of silence again. It said there are not enough stars in the sky to thank for the privilege of being able to love you. It said I will never stop loving you in big grand ways because you deserve it, and I want to show you you do. It said I will never stop loving you in big ways in small moments. It said I will never stop loving you this intensely and I want every time you are quietly reading a book while rubbing my feet to know.
When they got back all of the pack was asleep in the living room.
Stiles smiled at them. Derek smiled at him.
"Should we wake them to tell them to go upstairs?"
"No, let them sleep."
"Yeah that's a good idea. They're already goi- Why are you staring at me like that?"
Derek smiled. "Nothing, just our pack, our house. I feel like I've waited all my life to finally have you." Derek kissed Stiles' hand. "Ours. Finally ours."
Stiles smiled back. "I feel like I've always been yours. I was just waiting for you."
"Now you have me."
"No. Forever I have you."
"Alright yoda."
"Love you I do."
Derek laughed quietly so he didn't wake the pack. He pulled him towards the couch and the sleeping pack that occupied it. Derek pulled Erica away from the side of the couch and slid into the spot, then he pulled her back to his side. He motioned Stiles closer. Stiles brought a blanket and covered them all after laying on top of Derek.
"Goodnight yoda I could spend the rest of my life loving."
"A goodnight my darling, you will have."
"Goodnight Stiles. I love you." Derek kissed him on his forehead.
"Goodnight Derek. I love you."
This was a hefty bitch. Sorry it is late but this beast had a mind of its own just ask @halevetica whom without I would’ve gone absolutely batshit. Thank you as always my darling. I hope you liked it!!!
#sterekweek2019#sterek#sterekweek#sterek fanfiction#sterek fluff#stiles x derek#stiles stilinski#spark stiles#derek x stiles#magic!stiles#pack#hale pack#pack house#hale house#pack house reno#hale house reno#just a lot of reno#like honestly this is just a reno fic#renovation#i did way too much research for how basic this is#slow burn#werewolves#werewolf#derek#derek hale#cora hale#peter hale#vernon boyd#erica reyes#scott mccall
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Post M. Rough Edit
ough Edit One:
youtube
Editing Log:
Step one: The first part of my editing workflow was to organise the footage I’d captured. In Windows File Explorer I watched all my footage and got rid of anything that was definitely not usable. Still in File Explorer I labeled the shots with their relevant shot number by watching for editing ques we established whilst shooting. I then did the same with the audio which I captured on the day and labeled the files to match their accompanying video file. These will by synced up in Premiere, my chosen NLE (non-linear editing system) .
Step Two: My next step was to import all my media into Adobe Premiere. To do this I simply used the ‘import media’ function. This allows the media, both video and audio, to be accessed in the Adobe ‘project’ where the source files are stored. In the project panel it’s important to keep all the media organised. Creating ‘bins’ allows you to group together certain files like a folder in File Explorer. If this was a multi-sequence project a separate ‘bin’ could be created for each sequence’s video and audio. However, this short film is comprised of only one sequence so I simply created two bins a Video bin and an Audio bin.
Step Three: Once all my media was into my adobe project and organsied into their appropriate bins, I could begin editing. Normally at this stage I would sync my audio with my video. However, as I intended to create lots of the soundtrack using foley and I only used selected audio captured on the day, like the room tone and the dialogue, it makes more sense to do this later when all the media is properly organised in the sequence timeline panel. This is my next step, in the ‘Assembly’ workstation of Premiere I went through the shots as they were labeled (by shot number) and placed them into the timeline in the correct order. All the unedited footage amounted to 20 minutes+. If I had already synced my audio I would now begin trimming and working with the footage creatively.
Step Four: I could of synced audio in two ways either in the sequence timeline panel or the project panel. If only the audio files I captured on set were intended to be used for the sound track I simply needed to select both the audio and video files then use the ‘merge’ function in the project panel. This allows me to select a point which I want to sync from, a clapper board que for example, then have that audio file and video file be merged into just one file. However, because I used lots of foley there was multiple sounds to be merged with just one video. To sync each foley samples on the video I had to place them onto the timeline where I thought they should go to get a reference point to on the time-code. I then selected the video file in the timeline panel then selected the audio clip in the project panel and used the merger function. To establish where they needed to be I used the time-code to match where I had placed them timeline. When the file was merged I deleted the un-merged video & audio files and replaced it with the merged video and audio file. I did this each video file until all the sound was synced.
Step Five: Now all my footage had been synced with its sound I could now begin to trim down my footage. First of all I trimmed away all the ‘excess’ which is the footage before the clapper board and after “cut” is shouted. This reduced the time to around 8 minuets. I then began to focus on the transitions between shots. Some shots were simple cuts but in the interactions between both of Alden’s characters I had to use shot reverse shot editing techniques. When I filmed the confrontation between the two characters I shot the boy on the lefts actions first, then switched angles and shot the ‘reversals’. When editing these two together it creates the illusion that these things happened simultaneously in this case it creates the further illusion that Alden is interacting with himself. There was also certain shots that employed a ‘match on action’ editing technique. This is where a character starts an action, in this case moving a chess piece, in one shot and finishes the action in another. It creates a seamless effect that add dimension to the sequence as a whole. I used this technique five times throughout the rough cut. There is also a brief montage sequence which comprised of four jump cuts which is where multiple shots from the same angle are cut together with different action taking place in each shot. This creates a ‘passing of time’ effect. To accentuate this effect I added a cross dissolve between each shot to have one shot blend into another creating a sequence that drags on to convey the passage of time.
Step Six: This was the bulk of what I intended to do for my rough cut as I wanted to go into the score, sound mixing, color grading, special effects, titles etc in my final edit. However, there was one shot that required a specific special effect that was essential to establish the space and continuity of the scene. This is the shot where both of Alden’s characters appear to be sat opposite each other in a two shot. Of course in reality this was impossible therefore to create this illusion I had to film this shot twice but swap Alden’s costume then have him sit on the other side of the table between shots. I then cut one of the frames in half using the ‘area select’ tool in Premiere and superimposed it onto the other shot. I was happy with the end result.
Step Seven: Now everything I intended to do for my rough edit had been done I was ready to export and upload to YouTube. As the rough edit was simply to show the very start of the editing process the codec I used produced a heavily compressed video. This result in a very low image quality but the trade off is very fast export and upload times. It would have been unnecessary to use a codec that takes a long time to compress and be uploaded to YouTube because it’s not intend to be the final product.
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