#definitely the closest thing to tumblr that isnt tumblr | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

royaltyoon · 3 years ago

Note

Hey :)

Since I'm new on Tumblr (and your blog)

Could you describe yourself (give a small intro for yourself) and could you describe or give a few quirks to some of your mutuals (I woulf love to check them out)

I'll ask something similar to the mutuals tagged below :) (it could be a game between you all or something)

I love to see interactions, I hope I'm not bothering you :(

Heya~ anon,

Don't worry, you aren't bothering, I love to interact with my mutuals too :)

It sounds interesting anon, I hope you have a good time on here

About me:

You can call me 'yoon' or 'yonnie' like few of my mutuals on here

She/her

I kinda write, I also randomly shit post on here

It's 98% lookism

Johan seong is the loml <33

small things get me excited

I do not like orange juice

Sleep deprivation and procrastination is my lifestyle :')

(I hope this was enough)

MY MUTUALS

I haven't known them for long but I've come to love them, I haven't mentioned everyone here since I don't know them well enough :(( I do apologise

About @amaichou

She is one half of my parents, I'm apparently her kid :)

Probably the most comfortable person I'm with on here, also probably the closest

A fellow Johan supremacist

She uses "bestie" way too often

Tries to convince me orange juice isnt bad

Math isn't her strong point so she chose medicine

She's sleep deprived too but loves to force me to sleep

Says she's not smart but is a genius in disguise

Anemic and nocturnal besties

An amazing artist 😩

I love her content :) I hope you would too

About: @cosmoseli

The other half of my parents :)

She's my mommy

She's also my personal angel

Also uses 'bestie' a lot

An absolute mood maker

Can be hella smooth when she tries

Absolutely adore her writing ✨✨

She's so precious

She's on hiatus rn tho :(

About: @decaffeinatedkittyy

First person to send me a message lmao <3

She thought me how to use Tumblr lol

I love her cats

She's a total cat person

Randomly talks about art assignments

Or about her oc

A little about my other mutuals

@evacado3 the both of our OCS would be bestfriend or rivals lol, writes lookism FF too, practically has a yujin simp blog

@nivotron-the-second can draw naked men, is sleep deprived and would love to get stabbed by goo

@aviyannakalistos definitely knows how to keep conversing, hates math lol, we share the same birth year, has the name of a lookism character and is a simp

#MUTUALS MWAH #i love y'all #so so much #anon #this was fun lmao

32 notes · View notes

creacherkeeper · 3 years ago

Text

writer ask game- tagged by @loved-the-stars-too-fondly !! thank you!!!

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

horrible question to start out with for me cause i dont think i really have one???? i tend to not be as ship-focused as many people in fandom, and also unfortunately am the type of person to get REALLY into things and then many times my feelings dont stay super strong over time. so some Honorary Mentions are shules from psych cause thats probably my oldest remaining ship, ineffable husbands from good omens cause that was my first gay ship, and clintasha from marvel because thats the oldest ship i still have waves of strong feelings about

How many works do you have on AO3?

95, 8 of those being more than 1 chapter/a collection. i also deleted a good handful of fics from older fandoms when i rejoined ao3 in 2015 (i was an early adopter but then left for a while), as well as having a decent amount of fics on ff.net and a fandom specific site from Back In The Day

What’s your total AO3 word count?

just with the fics on there now, 348k. total fics i've written across sites/before deleting was probably closer to 400k. if we're including original fiction / fully rewritten drafts of the same books, i'm definitely over a million

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

hello my old heart (3209 - she ra, touched starved catra 1)

wherever is your heart (1700 - she ra, touched starved catra 2)

you or your memory (1262 - she ra, catradora ptsd exploration)

the memories and scars (1115 - fullmetal alchemist, parental royai and elric brothers fluff)

time take us (773 - she ra, adora chronic pain au)

also shoutout to this untitled good omens ficlet that got 17.5k on tumblr but did not do nearly as well in the ao3 collection lmao

Do you reply to comments, why or why not?

yes, i always do!!! idk it makes me happy to acknowledge the kind things people say ;; and frequently they say stuff in their comments that i want to scream back about or give explanations/behind the scenes for. also i've made friends this way!!!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

im not super a person to leave off with angsty endings, so in recent memory probably this catra cuts her hair fic that takes place after save the cat. or maybe this fic that is almost entirely claudia thedragonprince whump cause i was really Going TF Through It at the time and had to take it out on someone

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i tend to go hurt/comfort or bittersweet a lot, but probably the like. just absolute Happiest is heartlines on your hand which was the last in the touch starved catra series and was just. the sappiest sap to ever sap

Do you write crossovers?

the only crossover i've ever done was an agents of shield/air bud crack fic that we DONT talk about. i got fucking bullied into doing it okay

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not that much honestly? i got a few kind of mean comments on the touch starved catra #1 but also like. that fic got so popular there were bound to be a few. nothing else to my memory?? if there were a few on older stuff i probably just dont remember it at this point lmao

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i really dont lmao. besides not writing a ton of shippy stuff in general, i dont tend to write anything too Spicy. probably the closest i ever got was one short scene in this ineffable husbands 5 + 1 kissing fic that did not do as well as i thought it deserved tbh hahahaha

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of????? yall would tell me right lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i wrote a little ficlet about elena aos celebrating a colombian holiday with the team and a colombian friend translated it for their family! but i believe that is it. that ficlet isnt even on ao3 i tried to find it but was unable to. i dont believe anything has been translated for public consumption

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i don't think so? but i have gotten fanfic for my aos adoption au series!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i pretty much write things in one sitting or not at all lmao. i dont tend to take on a lot of series and stick to one shots as well. unless its over 8k i probably wrote it in one day. even the ones longer than that usually took less than a week from start to publication (for example, paladin!aelwyn fic is 15k and took 4 days of actual writing over less than a week to write, edit, and publish)

What are your writing strengths?

i feel like im best at dialogue and tend to get a lot of compliments on in-character voices. dialogue is my favorite to write lmao. i also think im good at describing spacing and movements, because i tend to think like. almost exclusively verbally and like?? physically?? if that makes sense?? when i write i picture almost nothing but i can "feel" what the character is doing. like i imagine making the gestures and everything but dont necessarily see anything as a picture in my head

(fun fact: for actual play fic i actually uh. picture the players acting it out, not the characters in the world. lmao whoops. like the first draft of it at least is 'what does this look/sound like at the table' and then i make it into a fic)

What are your writing weaknesses?

coming from the last question, definitely description, again because i picture almost nothing when i write. i have a VERY VERY hard time thinking with visuals. even when im coming up with description, i just THINK WORDS that would describe something, not picture it. so a lot of time i have to base my description on something or im just like. pulling descriptive words out of my ass with no basis. and the visual of it doesnt always make sense to other people. the other thing i struggle a lot with is action scenes, rip

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i think there's a time and a place and a right way to do it. i think with anything, it's not a "write what you know" but "know what you write". if youre writing someone multilingual, understand how multilingual people actually talk and use those languages. i think the closest i've gotten is "writing signs" for amaya from dragon prince. obviously thats not exactly the same, but for those fics i went back and forth between translating what she was saying, giving the exact signs without grammar, or just describing the movement of the signs. i dont know that i did it perfectly, but i did my best and learned from it. everything in those fics was knowledge i gained from my ASL classes in college (mostly taught by Deaf teachers)

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

technically digimon when i was like 7 years old lmao but first published fic was for avatar in 2007 on ff

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

it definitely changes depending on what i've written recently, but i'm really proud of paladin!aelwyn fic and am still really happy with the catradora ptsd exploration and this self-indulgent ineffable husbands mutual pining fic, but i also will say that writing humor is not always easy for me so whenever i feel like i pulled it off i am very proud of that hahaha

tagging @agentcalliope @floralprintshark @beatricexbenedick @marshmallsy @frenchibi @rizguks @strangetorpedos @labelleofbelfastcity

#ask game #long post

11 notes · View notes

btsandvmin · 4 years ago

Note

why do u think fandom brozone vmin so much? it doesnt happen nearly as often w other ships

I have talked about this a great deal before, and for good reason. It does happen a lot, and it has always been like this. At least I can speak for the years I have been in the fandom as the first post I ever made properly was about this exact topic. (The “bromance” issue) It’s short and a bit outdated, and honestly we also have to admit that while a lot of people still keep insisting on Vmin not being shippable and being “brozoned or friendzoned” there are also a lot more people who both ship Vmin and even see actual real potential in them being more. (You can even tell by the increase in analysis here on tumblr.)

Personally regarding the “issue” of how Vmin are viewed I am no longer as annoyed with it as I used to be. I do think it’s mainly a problem when other shippers come and say it about Vmin, because that is frankly just hypocritical. I have also written Normalizing Vmin or “Vmin” and Shipping vs Believing that explains more about my views on the subject of friendzoning and shipping as a whole. (Personally I feel Vmin get more friendzoned than brozoned, but that’s just a minor detail.)

But your question was about why you think the fandom brozone/friendzone Vmin so much, so let’s get to that.

First of all I obviously think there are several reasons, but this is all based on my speculations after being in this fandom for so long and what I have seen. Every person could have their own very different reasons to why they think the way they do. I think all the reasons play a part, but might not be equally important and might also not apply to every single person, but rather affect the fandom as a whole in one way or another.

So let’s break it down to the things I think play the biggest role in why Vmin are seen as platonic, regardless of if they are or not, just simply compared to a lot of the other ships.

1. They have since the start used the label “friend” or “best friend” to describe each other. In particular the label “chingu” of course, which in actuality is used to described someone of the same age that you are close with.

2. The English translation and constant use of “friend” will when repeated constantly get stuck in people’s minds and affect how they view a dynamic. Just how “hyung” gets translated to brother, but a lot less well known and noted by the fandom. Basically the western fandom will likely get even more platonic feelings towards Vmin because of the word being translated to friends.

3. Compared to the other “chingus” in the group, Namjoon and Hobi, there is much more emphasis on Vmin as the same age and as being close and best friends. Namjoon himself made a comment on this. I also think the use of “friends” or more recently “soulmates” by editors is a reply to this, basically that the editors too use these words because they are used a lot by the members first. Hence it gets doubly reinforced. Every time we hear it or read it we get another reminder of Vmin being friends.

4. Their early dymanics were less soft. A lot of their interactions were teasing like Taehyung’s “Jiminie pabo” and fans saw it as two siblings or friends rather than as the “teasing your crush”. Basically people didn't read their behavior as romantic. When BTS first started Vmin already called each other best friends, and that stuck, even more so in combination with people basically not seeing any "spark" between them. I would call this preference in a lot of cases.

5. There were in the beginning already a lot of competition between ships. Jimin often focused in a lot on JK and basically flirted with him while he at the same time brushed off Tae when he did similar towards Jimin. Meanwhile Tae and JK had a very physical relationship as well and JK often seemed the most open and comfortable with Tae. I think both of Vmin kind of pushing themselves on and teasing JK was a dynamic many shippers like. Meanwhile you aslo had Yoonmin getting popular due to Yoongi seeming a bit soft on Jimin and Jimin being very open and loud with wanting attention from Yoongi.

6. Some people find Vmin's dynamics boring. To a lot of shippers “too” obvious closeness might be a little boring and get labeled as just being friends or bros. This was in particular evident in the early days of Vmin. It also matters for fan content, and we can see a lot of Vmin fiction use a bit more “soft” tropes and might not get as many readers as more conflict driven plot. For me I would also include Vmin’s bias towards each other as another point here, that people might see as too much if they are a couple and have to hide. Basically a lot of people don’t see friendship to romance as the most interesting, or the "obvious and equal dynamic" as interesting. BTS said Vmin were the closest or the “best duo” etc. but since all of them were close people picked based on preference for their ship. Of course this still applies to shippers now, they fall for the type of dynamic they like, but now they also have a easier time getting convinced by material from other shippers. Having analysis is another thing that can make a ship more appealing as well.

7. Speaking of, fan content getting created and spread will reinforce certain images. Reading BTS fanfiction or watching moment videos you will see a lot of Vmin being “the best friends”. Basically once the image is used a lot, it will get more spread and used even more. It will be a constant in many places and when talking to a lot of people. It will also of course pull people in to other ships that makes Vmin impossible. Not to mention the big ships will get bigger and spread more easily.

8. Now this might not be true for a lot of people. But I have come across a lot of fans who seem to think being a friend is something that makes romance less likely. For me I want my partner to be my best friend as well, but a lot of people do see these two things as mutually exclusive. Many see friend and lover as two very different things and that you have one best friend and one partner, not someone that are both. Basically just the view on friendships and labels and how that might lead to some feeling being romantically involved is something separate from a close friendship.

9. Other ships spreading the narrative even further. It’s easier to just call Vmin friends, honestly. It’s often hard to deny their closeness (not that you should have to just because you ship something else, doesn’t change reality). But Vmin being so close and being part of the three biggest ships in BTS of course their label as best friends will be spread and used even more by those shippers. And because of the size of those ships it eventually gets turned into not just those shippers views, but the whole fandom’s.

10. More recently I would also say fear is a reason why people push back and try to remind the fandom that Vmin are “just friends”. Because we have very bad examples of what happens when shipping goes too far, basically it makes many non shippers try to protect Vmin from the same faith. Not a bad thing (again, as long as you don’t ship something else and is a hypocrite), but it surely does further the narrative of Vmin being very platonic. (A bad group is of course included here, which are homophobic fans, but since they feel the same about all ships it’s just a sidenote.)

11. Lastly, and probably most influentual, is the fact that Vmin and BTS friendzone Vmin in many ways, constantly.

I won’t go into all the examples, but I think we all know a few moments even at the top of our heads by now.

I mean.... They called their song about being soulmates and wanting to be together for eternity "Friends". And maybe that's what they are, but they sure like to remind us.

So we have times when BTS or Vmin basically remind us and spells it out even more clearly that Vmin are FRIENDS. They use it very very often, and personally to me sometimes at very weird moments. Even so, the things most fans see will of course be what they say. Vmin are friends and that is it.

And at face value that is true. I just personally don’t see being best friends (and soulmates) as meaning they can’t be more as well. Especially since they wouldn’t even be able to say more than that. I mean, if Vmin are basically described as the closest in BTS, then why does that mean they have less odds of being real? Being friends doesn’t have to equal being only friends.

However, Vmin have in fact said things against being interested/denied the other, I don’t want to lie. I am sure some would see this as 100% truth and use it againt the possibility of Vmin being real. Like when Taehyung basically said he would rather date Hobi.

However, Jimin said he would definitely choose Taehyung to date, but that gets ignored by people who ship Jimin with others, so it’s really just about choosing what fits your narrative. All ships have contradicting moments or statments or answers where they answer two different things at two different times in general.

We also have how Jimin answered back to Taehyung about liking men by saying he isnt “like that” to Taehyung.

There are moments like this, and even though they might be small and forgotten by most I think they could in a sense still have registered in some fans who then basically managed to spreak the “vmin are just bros/friends” into the more common perception.

However we also have opposite moments when they try to appeal to each other, or like when Taehyung asks Jimin to be the girlfriend etc. and personally though I do take these things into account it’s a bit like when you see members say “men can’t do this or that” and it doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t be queer. To me even though there are things against most ships, there are still a lot that speaks for some, and that’s why I remain unsure.

Sometimes you might get more defensive or nervous if there is some truth in there as well. It’s all about interpretation, even though I don’t want to blatantly ignore what they say. But since they have said and done directly contradicting things (like how Jimin said he would choose to date Tae while also saying he doesn’t act like “that” to Tae, or how they have changed a lot of answers in general) I also don’t see it as something definitely against them being more. Not to mention time can change things as well.

In the end though this isn’t about what other things there might be that show Vmin might be more than friends or not, but simply reasons for the fandom’s view of them as platonic. (Personally I think they do a lot of things not normally seen as platonic, which is obviously the reason for me having this blog and writing anlysis on them.)

So, Vmin is friendzoned by the group, and by shippers of bigger ships, and even by themselves at times. Then everything else is reinforcement and inability to view them as anything more than friends.

There are some other things I think might play a part in it as well, but most comes down to personal preferences or what you get exposed to. Like who is the bias of the shipper and what things do they come across to make them a shipper, what kind of dynamics do they like etc. (It's more likely for someone who "falls" for JK to have JK in his ship, for example. Because they will focus on him and notice his interactions and then likely fall for a certain dynamic.)

History is a huge factor in general, and trying to change the perspective of the fandom might not be easy. But with a lot of new fans coming in and seeing with their own eyes how Vmin have behaved the last two years in particular, I think we can see a change.

Vmin are loved by the majority of this fandom, and that’s far better than them having people be anti them because of their ship being too big or too toxic. So in the end I do feel it’s a good things for them and for us that Vmin is being viewed as mostly platonic while they manage to slowly include more “normally not platonic things” into their platonic box. (I mean we are at a point where they can casually mention sleeping together and sing about being soulmates and hold hands in public).

Thank you for the ask and I hope you found this interesting. This is a topic I have a lot of opinions on and think is interesting myself, so I hope you enjoyed this post. No matter what we all know that one truth won’t change; 95z is love!

#vmin #vmin analysis #vmin friendzoned #vmin friends #vmin bromance #btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin answer #btsandvmin

70 notes · View notes

angeloncewas · 3 years ago

Note

yeah i totally agree with what you said about satire and schlatt basically taking the easy way out. it seems like since that video he's kinda eased back from doing that shit, either bc the backlash or bc his friends have started verbally calling him out on it, both to his face and through making comments about him on stream (comments as in like saying they dont agree with what he did and saying they thought that video was terrible, not like them shading him or whatever ajsksk) which is good but also i wouldnt be surprised if something like that video happened again just bc like. it is his career and at this point he has to know what his larger fanbase is like to an extent, which means he also knows those terrible fucking jokes will make him money. i dont like that, but im also not gonna sit around and pretend like i cant see the fucking obvious, ya know? from what ive seen of him when he's not putting on a show for his main channel, or when he isnt around people who both encourage and enable his bad behavior (not saying this to shift blame, ive just noticed how he goes from making actually funny jokes that are harmless or, at most, a pretty obvious example of him poking fun at shitty people, at least imo, to like. straight up just being offensive when he's with people like swagger, miz, etc. vs ted, charlie and so on), he seems like a pretty good guy and its pretty clear to me that he doesnt hold the same views as the character he plays up for his main channel but that doesnt change the fact that his audience is now full of the worst kinds of people and that is how he makes money.

as someone who, again, watched idubbbz, as well as filthyfrank, they both stated they were playing characters and they didnt agree with the shit they were joking about, joji especially, but them saying that isnt very well known by even their own fanbase who just watches their main channel stuff, bc the one video where joji made that explicitly clear what he was doing, he later deleted for people harassing him in the comments (it was an old ass video where he basically said that playing those characters was giving him literal health problems, specifically stress induced seizures, and his comments were so bad that he never made an ooc video on his main channel again) and the one video i can think of where ian explicitly said he was playing a character was like an hour long podcast with h3, which most people dont even wanna watch bc it is a painfully uncomfortable one hour, considering the fact that they are supposed to be friends. besides that, the only other time they were really out of character was in vlogs with maxmoefoe, and they still did their offensive bits from time to time bc it was still going up on youtube, even if it wasnt their main channel. compare that to schlatt who has, as far as i know, never explicitly said he's playing a character, and the closest he has gotten to saying that was in some weekly slap video that i cant remember the title of bc all those videos kinda blend together if im being honest. like they definitely show a different, better side of him, but they are also all really short videos with only gameplay to watch and he never even promotes the channel, so its not like the shitty people watching him are like "hm time to take some time out of my day to go watch big man schlatt give people advice and be a genuine person for once", right?

idk. schlatt is just such a weird person for me bc like. he is a big comfort for me, i really do enjoy his content when he's not making bad stabs at satire (bc sometimes he does it right!! but a lot of the time, at least recently, he has just missed the mark entirely, to the point where it feels like he wasnt even trying to hit the mark at all), but he is also so uncomfortable to watch sometimes just bc he seems to either not know where the line is, or thinks crossing it is okay bc its him playing a character and that's not fun to watch as a minority who often ends up being apart of that "punchline".

that aside tho...yes, unfortunately idubbbz does still make content (and i say unfortunately bc it is not very good) though it seems like he is very slow to upload and last i checked, the views arent too great, but ive seen worse. probably the only thing that could bring back his views at this point would be a content cop, but like a year or so back he said he has no plans of continuing the series bc he finds it boring now, which is fair enough. i dont really keep up with him anymore, but as far as i know, he just got married to anisa and he streams on twitch sometimes, besides that the dude is a mystery to me!

—🦷 (also im sorry if this is formatted weird, for whatever reason tumblr has indented each of my paragraphs with one of those grey line thingys and it wont let me remove it. if it doesnt show up in the actual ask then ignore this!)

This is kind of old now (sorry), but I still wanted to respond because I really appreciate your perspective :)

> I always wonder how people not involved in the fandom view Schlatt. Because wasn't there this thing about Hasan genuinely thinking that he was conservative? And like he obviously doesn't now, but does that not impact how he sees him and his content? I don't mean to dictate friendships - of course - I'm just curious as to the impact of having that audience from an outsider pov. I remember being shocked what that thing happened with the pdp fan, but I later found that many people weren't because they knew the nature of the audience he cultivated; maybe I'm just stupid, I had no idea. (Not that Schlatt and pdp are the same, it's just a loose comparison.)

> No one should face harassment, but I doubt Joji deleting that video helped his case. (I mean ig it worked out in the long term considering everything that happened with his music, but yk.) I'm very sorry for the health problems he faced with the characters themselves though. I don't know much about him but that sounds awful.

> I have thoughts on The Weekly Slap, but I think they make me sound bitter and don't add much so just know that they're there ajfdkjdf. I will say that he doesn't seem like "Jschlatt" in them, and moreso just a guy. I know that he quit it for a number of reasons and one of them was not being comfortable with that kind of connection in relation to his increasing fame, but honestly I think his complete dislodgement from his fanbase isn't healthy either.

> I mean, I get it. I've watched a lot of content from a lot of people - ranging from kind of unpleasant to very unsavory - and it's kind of a weird feeling with YouTube and Twitch stuff. Idk it's like - when I go to the grocery store, I'm not wondering if the guy checking my things out is a racist. When I see a commercial, I don't wonder if that guy advertising chicken nuggets is a secret creep. But with content creation of this kind, it's just a weird thought in the back of my mind. I don't know if this makes sense lmao

> Weird that Idubbz finds content cop "boring." I guess the formula is kind of stale and half of the content was the edge, but it seems like the kind of thing that'd be perfect to capitalize off of around now. Cool that he got married... I think. I mean if he's happy ???

> Don't mind the formatting, and sorry to respond like WAY past when this conversation was relevant T_T. I read it right away but the timing got off with actually being able to type stuff out.

#angel answers #long post #discourse #🦷 anon #ask to tag #negative #cc critical #if u like schlattit is #sidjfd

8 notes · View notes

a-froger-epic · 4 years ago

Note

You leave out freddieofhearts like she isnt one of the best writers! ALL THE FREDDIE FANS KNOW she has been forced out

I specifically stated that I am only listing people currently active on Tumblr. Not my own best friends (or else I would have also included @tikiniki ♥ who is not currently active in the fandom - how curious, anon, that you failed to notice my own dear 'fandom wifey' wasn't on the list). It was not even a list of people I regularly - or at all - talk to. I literally just listed active blogs run by Queen writers across the spectrum to give the other anon somewhere to start, and because I didn't know what they were looking for.

Let me say something about @freddieofhearts, who - yes - is taking her fic down and distancing herself from the fandom for her own mental well-being and also to focus on a professional project or two.

Most of you don't really know @freddieofhearts. And that isn't an accusation, it's just fact. You don't know her like I do, that I can safely say. Anon, you definitely don't know her like I do. And you don't know me like she knows me.

@freddieofhearts was the first person who ever spoke to me on Tumblr when I joined this side of fandom and was just finding my way around. We soon realised that we are vastly different people, although then again we have common ground. Still, we disagree fundamentally about a good number of things. We've had some very tough, emotional discussions in private that have lasted hours at a time. There's a lot we have agreed to disagree on over the course of the last year. But what we have also learned to do - and that I value more than I can put into words - is accept each other for who we are and respect each other even when we don't agree, and at least try to see each other's point of view no matter how hard it is, always.

Because of our mutual respect and mutual admiration as writers, we became friends. She remains one of my closest friends in the fandom, and I only have a small handful I am really close to. I know there are people she doesn't get on with and people who don't get on with her, but that is not my business. That is irrelevant to my personal relationship with her.

@freddieofhearts is a brilliant writer, which is no surprise because she is also a professional writer. Some of her works are some of my absolute favourites which I have saved now, before she's taken them down. I plan to make podfic versions of some of her fic. Anon, why in the world would I rec her as a writer at this moment when she wants to distance herself?

Of course I'm sad to see her works go, but I also understand why she's made that decision. The situation is anything but simple or black and white, and I won't go into it. But I will say that there's a few (I'm half convinced it's one person with an unhealthy obsession) absolutely vile, anonymous trolls after her, and they have been after her for a while, and believe me, if I knew who they were I would like to gut them with a rusty fork and string them up by their intestines.

Because no matter what you think of somebody, no matter how much you disagree with what they have to say, sending somebody ad hominem insults (juvenile and cheap insults at that) makes you - in my book - a despicable, sorry asswipe. Shame on you. But don't worry, karma is a bitch. If you put hate out into the world, it will come back to you.

So, thanks anon, I appreciate the opportunity to address one of my best friends leaving the fandom. It is a messy situation that I've been entangled in for quite some time. But all I really want to say is that I want to thank @freddieofhearts for sharing her thoughts, her knowledge and her ideas with me. I'd like to think we have taught each other a lot. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for always striving to understand me and accepting that we don't always understand each other. Thank you for cheering me on relentlessly in every single one of my endeavours. Thank you for believing in me. I love you, I believe in you and I wish you all the best. ♥️

#... and now I'm crying #ask response #I'm emotional today guys #Whew

24 notes · View notes

gigasonickickflip · 3 years ago

Note

★

alright i have to admit, this one is a toughie. so lets just dive into it

despite literally everything about dave as a person seeming like he'd be completely incompatible with someone like amanda, through dumb luck, bad jokes, and sheer force of will hes accidentally created one of the closest friendships hes ever had, and that alone is enough to wig him out of thinking about their relationship too much. but when he does, it usually breaks down like this:

talking to strange people on the internet seems to break good once in a while, since he definitely started talking to her out of boredom and curiosity. who is this y2k-era edgelord? why is she on tumblr? what's the deal with the pig thing? it was curiosity at first, a form of escapism from his increasingly upsetting life, that spiraled into something way more. turns out the funny edgelord is actually packing a huge tragic backstory, a good sense of humor, and an existentially horrifying circumstance with an elder god. that was enough to turn this from joke to real. and then when it got real, it got real in a hurry

so, dave is an incredibly emotionally repressed person, in the same way any person that thinks "vulnerability = getting your ass kicked" tends to be. there are people thatve known dave for years that know less about him than amanda has learned in a few months, and honestly? its entirely because shes 10x worse at emotions than he is. the easiest way for him to bond with someone is through banter and, by extension, him fucking with them, and seeing someone seem so avoidant of getting vulnerable like that meant that he felt pretty comfortable doing it for the bit. plus, there was something extremely relatable about it, since he also had to be "socialized" like this once he moved out of the system. sure, he isnt the best at taking his own advice, but he's heard all of this stuff from his friends. about trusting people, and understanding that not everyone wants to hurt you, and knowing how to put yourself out there. all of that stuff

the fact that it was mixed with jokes made it way easier for both of them, he figures, since thats really all he knows how to do when it comes to socializing anyway. the fact that she was receptive to him fucking with her in the first place was surprising, when she started doing it back it was downright delightful, and somehow it was much easier to transition from jokey banter to serious conversations. felt decently natural, honestly, and thats what weirds himself out the most about it. no matter how weird and different their circumstances are, theyre on a very similar wavelength with discussing and contextualizing their problems, which is to say that they either avoid it until it kills them or turns it into some dumb overwrought joke. and the tendency for them to call each other out on doing both of those things turned it into a system of mutual responsibility, instead of like, living with a therapist that psychoanalyzes you every morning.

eventually though, the whole amanda thing started getting him in his feelings in a way he didnt really know how to handle. heres someone with a way rougher life than him, screwed over by people over and over again, and he feels this deep existential dread realizing that an incredibly fun and pleasant person can be used like that! and hurt like that! and killed like that! honestly he can't even wrap his head around the idea of her being party to murder because he can't see her as anything but a horrifying sample case of "the universe is a shitty place that screws people over with forces outside their control," and he really doesn't know how to handle it. the addiction/self-destructive tendency thing really hits him in the sister issues, too, and he cant really figure out what to do to help, yet he still gets an overwhelming need to help. so he keeps up with the jokes and the bullshit and asks her to hang and tries to introduce her to shit that makes him happy in the hopes that itll make her happy

and it isnt entirely pity, and it isnt entirely charity, because he really does enjoy her company. shes like, his current closest friend (not counting rose), and all of the "helping" at some point became mutually beneficial in the sense that he has a friend that he can hang around with and enjoy life with through a new pair of eyes. one of his favorite things to do is to show her dumb shit that happened after she died, because she'll either hate it or love it, and both are great for him. its that sort of stuff that makes him feel, even if he'd never say it to her face, that hes actually extremely grateful that she got nabbed by an evil spider god. he doesnt know what he'd be doing without her and he has to imagine that her life is similarly improved by her cosmic murder jail.

so its a lot of good vibes, mixed with a decent amount of existential dread from her circumstances. the idea of an unstoppable deity being whats stopping your friend from just living in your apartment is one of those things that makes him want to tear his hair out, but it does feel pretty good to know that someone out there understands his current war against the cosmos and destiny and gods or whatever. and honestly? hes at the point where he feels like she gets him so much that hes worried about being too overwhelming. asking to hang out too much or getting too affectionate which are issues he almost never gets. so he gives her space and tries not to scare her off and instead does dumb shit like giving her house keys and becoming sworn brothers or whatever. hed pretty much die or kill for her and the fact that she refuses to ask him for anything makes him feel like a huge loser for even thinking that.

#ooc #ask meme #this ended up being way too long but im tipsy so we can cope #also she was the first person that refused to engage with him wearing a dress as a joke and that actually did do something for him #besides the immense gender envy he already has for her. anyway #repeat joke about amanda saw and dave homestuck here

2 notes · View notes

daisy--sorbet · 4 years ago

Note

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it.

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity.

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy?

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent).

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?).

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″ (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe.

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned.

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene.

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there!

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed.

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad.

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

5 notes · View notes

spirit-shroud · 5 years ago

Note

Hop

well of course, gotta write about the sunshine boy,, i hope the formatting worked bc this got lengthy very fast

from this ask meme

favorite thing about them - hes so,,, excited about everything!! everything is cool and awesome and dialed up to 11!! and hes so nice! he cares about his best friend + brother + sonia! he wants to help people and put a lot of good into the world!!

least favorite thing about them - i don’t think i have like. a least favourite thing honestly? which isnt to say i think hes by any means a perfect character it’s just that like. it all comes together and just makes. hop. that’s him. lengthy list of flaws and existential depression included.

i guess the closest thing is the fact that we can’t hug him in canon but that’s not really like… a hop character issue. that’s just me and my silent protagonist not being good at comfort words

favorite line - he says a lot of things tbh but the line that specifically shook me to my core and made me have to lay down for awhile was when you beat him in the slumbering weald post-game n he just looks at you, smiling no less, just like “I didn’t expect there to be such a gap between you and me, mate”

bc that’s like. when it’s finally like ‘yeah my dreams are crushed and i really have no chance of ever breaking out of my brother’s shadow, and now i have my best friend’s shadow i’m living in, too’

when i tell you, here and now, that i just saved the game, closed it, and laid on the floor for about ten minutes both times i got to that part, i am Not Joking With You. there are witnesses.

brOTP - i think he, marnie, and protag should all be best friends and go on fun adventures together, like going to an aquarium or riding the wyndon hurricane or bothering piers or having wooloo herding contests or playing mediocre video games or something

in the literal bro sense i also think milo and piers, who are certified Older Brothers, should step in and adopt this child since leon is always far too busy to really like. be that person for him, y’know? do you think hop knows how to ride a bike? i don’t think he does.

OTP - i havent like. actively participated in shipping for like. five years? i dont know man. sometimes i see a fan art of him holding hands w gloria or victor or marnie and im just like “oh cute and good.” my only ship with hop that i have Opinions about is him getting adequate therapy and positive attention from his friends

nOTP - hop + bede together,,,, like. it’s a valid ship bc enemies to lovers can be written well but i just really don’t think beetroot got Enough Redemption that we’ve seen so far. he’s still a rude cotton swab at the end + he like. directly contributed to a lot of hop’s emotional problems in the game and even outside of like. how either character is written, i just. don’t think they’d be good. i don’t like ships that’d fight a lot / have hurt each other in the past w/o it being like. properly made up for, y’feel?

random headcanon - hop is trans and there’s nothing you can do about it. and probably a huge nerd. this child roleplays on the [pokemon equivalent of neopets] forums. i think he’d like star trek. he has Thoughts and Opinions about baking competitions despite not being good at baking. he’d have a tumblr that he started just bc one of his pals has one but then he’d be like ‘oh this is neat actually’ n have an untagged disaster of a blog that’s everything from like. gardening tips to vague personal posts/conversations with mutuals to reblogging whatever show he got into last. the only tagged posts he has are his photo collection of wooloo. he’s mutuals with that feral news reporter girl from the live action movie.

unpopular opinion - i think this is actually a popular opinion but he should’ve started a galar division of the pokemon rangers. do you think that boy has the attention span to read? let alone study, for like. years???? even with the help of cool older sister sonia??? he literally has a regional god he can just like. ride places and a solid understanding of how to navigate the wild area. the fact that he’s just like ‘well. i couldn’t become champ and i’m not ride or die for an aesthetic enough to become a gym leader. better grab a lab coat’ is LAME. he’ll do a good job at being a professor too obvi but like. >:T we could’ve had it all

song i associate with them - i got two here bc i like music and think abt hop a lot - “King and Lionheart” by Of Monsters and Men and ”Easier” by SIAMES

i also have a full playlist of songs i think he’d listen to but it isn’t complete still bc im lazy as hell but just know in your heart that it’s out there

favorite picture of them

definitely this one. i, too, toss my hands up in surrender at the mildest accusation of being Suspicious

tldr: hop deserves better

#kc takes questions

6 notes · View notes

oyabun-draws · 5 years ago

Note

5, 9, 13 for the gay asks!

fffffffffff i cant believe ive been getting asks thank you guys so much like you have no idea this makes my whole week 5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been onthis is a cute ask but to be honest in my whole 18 years ive only been on like 2 dates and i didnt like them very much. (they werent bad- just boring) I like going on dates with pals tho! i love going grocery shopping, going to barnes and noble or just hanging out and watching 90s movies.9. opinion on brown eyes?i love brown eyes!! i like all eye colors! 13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?this is a really great question. hmmm… i dont think i had any misconceptions? this isnt to brag or anything but i think i was just so young that i hadnt formed any misconceptions yet. the closest thing i can think of is that for a while i started to think i was ace because i just didnt feel attraction to anyone but thats just because i was too young. i definitely am gay lmao. its just really complicated figuring it out especially for specifically lesbians because of how relationships among girls are and how they express affection, etc. (maybe i should make a whole tumblr post about that lmao)

#asks #Anonymous #about melon

2 notes · View notes

scaltrite · 5 years ago

Text

yeah so a girl at my college found my tumblr but i wanna talk abt stuff so i guess im doing it here now bc i dont have the courage to block her for reasons i will now explain

like?? i met this girl and i was like oh shit she seems so cool and so cute and i wanted so badly to be in her group of friends and bro i been trying so hard to be One of them but i just KNOW im not.....like maybe they dont necessarily hate me but im definitely not Desired there which sucks bc theyre the closest thing i have to friends in college......and i just see them spontaneously (or not, how would i know) going out together or hanging in each others rooms and im so JEALOUS and insecure and i hate who i am when i feel that way. i thought i had finally drawn a hard line with myself this one night when like.....they kept doing this thing (specifically that girl i met the first day and this guy who i thought actually liked being around me) where they would put their finger up like #1 whenever i said anything bc they made a "list" where i was number 1 and they told everyone what it was but specifically said not to tell me.....and yes that could easily be a joke, i have made worse jokes with my friends, but im so uncertain with my place with them that i wasnt sure if it was even meant to be a joke.....like are they laughing at me or with me.... then later that night my roommates and that one dude were hanging out in my room while the first girl i met and the others went to get a board game, when suddenly he looks at his phone, says "theyre here!" and runs out the room, and when i look down the hall Girl1 and her best friend and Dude are running into the elevator and i said "why are you ditching me" and they just laughed and said "GO!!" and left.....and that got me SO upset i really wanted to go back to my room and just cry forever bc WOW that could not have made it more clear to me that they hate me like ik im mean but thats some shit i wouldnt have even done to my closest friends. but i just sat there the whole night trying not to cry bc my roommates were still there... then they text me asking to come down to the 5th floor and im so fucking whipped bc im lonely and i have no friends so i go and they just give me a gummy bear and leave and im like. i know im a terrible person but i feel like this isnt a Friendly kind of Prank..... then Dude texts me like come outside we promise we wont run away and something kinda snaps in me like god FUCK you guys i might rather be alone than this fuckimg bullshit and in my head i felt like a line was just drawn like i cant be friends with these people i cant keep this bullshit up. anyways that was all one night. the next night i go out with some other ppl bc im feeling like shit and when i come back Girl1 and her best friend are drinking and the latter is WASTED and Girl1 sure isnt sober and im feeling so awful so im like well i can fake friendship for one more night if it means i can get alcohol. then Girl1 tells me she has a crush on me? and im .....yikes.....so i pretend i didnt remember anything bc i was drunk.....but then she asks me out sober,...and i said yes bc shes cute and my brains like "this is ur way in!" but its been a week and im remembering the way her and all those people made me feel and it just doesnt make sense? like she was nice sometimes SOMETIMES she invited me out somewhere just us but i always ended up being busy but otherwise? there were absolutely no cues to her liking me and im pretty good at reading people....like was all of that shit supposed to be bc she liked me? bc i didnt pick up on that at ALL plus nothings changed about how she or anyone else acts with me? i have even less of a good feeling abt her bc her and her bestfriend didnt say hi to my friends from home when i passed them in the dining hall and said "oh go say hi to my friends! theyre over there!" and they didnt smile at them or say hi when we passed them again later....im starting to think this is all a big prank.....our first date is this tuesday but im honestly expecting to be stood up or led into a dark alley to be beat up deadass

2 notes · View notes

flockofdoves · 5 years ago

Note

4, 9, 25!

omg.. these are all questions when looking through it i was like. i have a lot of Thoughts abt those ones fdkgjhdfkg. thank you angel!!! also please don’t feel obligated to read All This

i’m kinda embarrassed i wrote this much but i’m not good at editing things down after the fact

4. do you like your name? is there another name you think would fit you better?

i do! chiara is my birthname and at times through my life i’ve wished for a more androgynous/masculine name but i guess like. my name and its pronunciation and spelling and what it meant to my mom in naming me has been consistent throughout my life i don’t feel like myself without that. if i grew up in italy i’d probably feel differently though bc at least in the north its become like . italian “maddie” lol i get so confused when i go there bc all of a sudden i’ll be hearing my name everywhere

chiaroscura i came up with as a melodramatic kid after i got excited about reading the tale of despereaux that the rat character chiaroscuro had a name so similar to mine and i thought it was cool he shortened it to roscuro. i liked the art style too and it helped people know how to pronounce my name sometimes. no one irl really called me roscura but i’ve been going by it online in addition to chiara since i was a tween

i’ve tried to go by other names throughout my life like cj and arie (pronounced in 3 syllables ah-ree-ay) and rio but none of them really stuck outside of very specific contexts even if i wanted something more androgynous i think i’m just ingrained with this. i’ve thought about having it be chiaroscuro instead but chiaro for short just seems dumb. idk. and even if roscuro sounds fine roscura isnt just Me me its also a name i really associate with like uhhhh.. some dissociative alter stuff so i wouldnt want to take that away from her idk

i was sure when i was younger i’d want to change my middle and last name. my middle name is anne lol so thats very common and i thought it was boring and didnt feel like Me and too feminine etc but in the past couple years with my nana (dads mom) dying and her name was ann and then also my grandma (moms mom) is annette and my moms own middle name is anne i guess even if i dont like it without context i can keep it for history

similarly with my last name. its anglicized swedish and i have no connection to that part of my family and when i was having a really difficult time with my dad i didn’t want it but now that hes died and our relationship got better towards the end i’m more okay with it.

not sure what i’ll do if i ever get married. also have considered changing my name if i ever have trouble with how fucking stupid i’ve been with being openly a communist/disabled/gay/etc online with my full name since i was 11 lol but i doubt that

9. are you an artist?

lol. i’m not sure anymore tbh :( i at least drew stuff almost every day of my life up until like a bit over a year ago now and even if i didn’t think i was any “good” compared to my peers in like . high school AP art who went on to art school and stuff it was a big part of my identity but i let myself fall out of it even when i’d never let depression do that before and just didn’t get that momentum again. i stress about it almost every day since then i keep saying i’m Finally getting back into it but beyond like . art therapy when i was in a php program or the couple sculpture classes i took before i had to drop out of even part time classes and then a few sketches i still haven’t really provably picked things up again. and its not just digital art or cartooning its also my other creative passions like making clothing and cosplay and making stories i feel like a shell of a person without it i’m tired of saying i’ll Soon get back into it. got as far as sketching something for an actual traditional art thing last week so maybe if i finish that i can prove to myself again. i think i have trouble and why i stopped is i wasn’t doing art because i enjoyed the process anymore, i wanted the final product to be good and got discouraged and fell into a grating routine to make art. i need to learn how to enjoy that process again (or just? let myself? idk) i really need to learn that with making comics because i don’t have much proof at all that i can make things beyond like. 6 pages long. and of course with webcomics you’re constantly learning and growing in developing them thats part of the medium. i want to be able to call myself an artist again even if its hard to see that right now. i almost started drawing before i started answering this right now. i hate that i keep pushing it off. i’ve definitely said this before, but it has to be soon

25. could you live as a hermit?

i think this past 9 months has been the closest i’ve ever been to a hermit and its made me very confident that i absolutely could not lmao. i’m so sick of this i need to see proof of life beyond this place and with irl interaction with loved ones beyond my mom on a regular basis stagnating here for even a few months longer is just too much i don’t even feel like a real person anymore and thats concerning on multiple levels lol. its wild to me i even got to this point and kind of ironic that i feel the most isolated i’ve ever felt once i moved to one of the biggest cities in this country. right now i’m sustaining myself by chasing hope of a way out with the start of maybe actual concrete steps towards just . seeing people i love again irl. but honestly even that is freaking me out because realistically it might take longer to get out of this than i’d like to and i really can’t handle being in this situation more than a few months more.

also just in a general sense i think humans need to collaborate and provide for each other. individualist fantasies of just providing for oneself and not having to care for others both jsut . tend to not actually be accurate and can be pretty reactionary. so many people are so isolated in many ways under capitalism and that makes divide and conquer easier but to ensure a future where that won’t be the case we need to build community/dual power/solidarity/etc etc. i feel a bit guilty i’m not putting my actions where my mouth is with that as an individual right now but i guess it makes sense how i got here when so much is structurally at play. its weird intellectualizing that balance sometimes.

i’m so sorry this turned into some fucking . vent tumblr therapy session jesus christ fdgkjhd

#cpost #asks #futchitachii

1 note · View note

hxseok-honee · 5 years ago

Text

Harry Potter Ask:

Remus Lupin/James Potter?

Ask for fic writers:

13. What’s your favorite trope?

This or That:

22. Deep Space or Deep Sea? (you have no idea how important this one is)

Bangtan Bingo:

I got Shooky ☺️

Color Palette:

Okay so this took some thought. At first I thought it would be Constant Rambling or Damned If I Do, but as I looked at the colours and thought about it, I kinda feel like as much as those are aspects of you, Castle In The Sky is the Ultimate Choice. Not just for the colour palette, but for the name too. You’re always so warm and comforting and motivational and you feel like home to me. But also you inspire me. Castles in the sky are the foundation of any writers mind. And here you are being a phenomenal one and following your dreams. I mean you’re leaving for Korea in less than a month!! You’re the best of both worlds to me. You’re the first person besides my mom that I want to tell when something goes right and the first contact I spam when I’m losing my shit or life gets too much or I just wana cry while you listen to me be a little shit about certain things. I admire you. And I look up to you. And for fricks sake yes I love you soo much. You’re my best friend and even more. Thank you for always making me smile, but even more so thank you for making me happy. *biggest hug in the world from me*

What’s your favorite:

I’m so sorry to do this to you (not really) but across EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR AUS, pick the y/n you relate the absolute most to.

_______________________________

hxseok-honee:

o ka y since tumblr doesnt let my bby submit asks anymore for some reason, she had to do it in post submission form so im gonna answer like this:

remus lupin/james potter: what’s the most you would do for a friend?

uhhhhhh it depends on how close we are tbh. i think im pretty loving toward all of my friends, but if we’re really close, like the kind that’ll last forever, then shit idk id do anything for that person. ive definitely been willing to get into fights for the people closest to me, just because it doesnt really matter to me what the consequences are for me later as long as im there for my friend in that moment.

fic writer ask : what’s your favorite trope

okay so enemies to lovers i think is the most fun to play with just because i love sarcasm and savagery but i also think a trope that generally has some angst and isnt all great and cute all the time is really interesting to write for. so i guess any trope that would inherently involve conflict at some point?

this or that 22: deep space or deep sea

so listen i understand why this ask is vital to our friendship, and i love you to the end of the earth, but the deep sea is one of my biggest fears, right behind spiders and heights. the deep sea is so fucking terrifying to me- i actually wanted to be a marine biologist as a kid!! i loved the ocean and everything that lives in- until i took a class on marine biology and had to actually confront the reality that literally no one knows what the fuck is down there and what those things are capable of. so yeah. it’s not for me anymore. no thank u

bangtan bingo : uwuwuwuwuwuuwuwuwwu s a m e

color palette : UH ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY !! YOU KNOW YOU HAVE MY HEART WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME RN YOURE LITERALLY TRYING TO FIGHT ME :((( <3

what’s your favorite: y/n

so i looked at this question and my first thought was “now how the fuck am i supposed to answer this” bc i put a little piece of myself in all the aus i make, but eventually i decided that i relate most to FFYL y/n and I Found y/n: ffyl bc she is literally how i act when i have a crush on a boy in class and also how i act around my closest friends, especially really late at night. I Found y/n because, to be real fuckin honest, that au has the biggest part of my soul in it so i relate to her the most out of anyone

#submission #uwu i love youwu

3 notes · View notes