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trickfootpike · 3 years ago

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OKAYOKAYOKAY now that i've had a few nights to Ruminate here are way too many thoughts from 9/16's show -- fair warning that they aren't *super* coherent as a lot of this i just tried to loosely organize from dms i threw at folks night-of, but it is most of what i remember sticking out to me!

GENERAL THOUGHTS --

last saw the show in august of 2019 - back then i saw it up in the mezzanine, this time i was 7 rows back dead center in the middle of the orchestra. watching the show from the mezzanine feels like a god's eye view of the show while sitting up close in the orchestra is much more like being in the world of men, and how it hits in hadestown particularly is just nuts bc you really do feel like you're on the factory floor.

back in the London production i remember eva playing eurydice with more youth and hope to her, and when the show came to Broadway eurydice hardened. in a world with a pandemic eva seems to have actually shifted this back! Eurydice is still holding tightly onto Orpheus Knowing that the world is unlikely to be kind enough to let them have each other for long but she starts off less faithless than she used to, I suppose I would describe it? she's definitely played more open with others from the beginning rather than having it be something she has to really work towards!

WAIT FOR ME IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT FEELING FROM THE ORCHESTRA THAN THE MEZZANINE AND NOT JUST THE LAMPS. the lamps really only swing out to over the first 2 rows, speaking very generously, anyway. what i remember being most impactful from last time was how the whole theater rumbled as the walls of the set split to reveal hadestown. what i couldn't see and afaik no boot's been able to pick up is the the set ALSO SPLITS AND STRETCHES OPEN AT THE TOP. that awning that covers the balcony lifts and the wall of hadestown is revealed to stretch floor to ceiling and it is just so much, so fucking much oh my god i could not stop hysterically blubbering to myself watching hadestown stretch open like it is absolutely here to devour you whole. it makes you feel the immensity of The Wall. I've linked ig videos of the set pre act 1 and post intermission to give like the best perspective on it i can and tried to film them so they were zoomed as closely as to what my eyes were seeing as I could, but here are also some pictures!

PRE ACT ONE

INTERMISSION

after our lady of the underground when eurydice comes back from hades' office and Persephone is finishing with her show, me being closer this time i was actually able to see amber's face during way down hadestown ii and flowers. and how she portrays seph's feelings re eurydice, it's like : genuine concern and watching over her when she first starts on the line, Quiet Seething and Jealous Rage as the fates' tattle "Hades put his hands on ya" that sticks for a While including the first half of flowers, but as soon as eurydice remembers the meadow her and Orpheus visited her heart just b r e a k s and you can see her wiping away tears. seph's just so caught in her own feelings of helplessness in hadestown. when hades tells her to stay out of him dealing with Orpheus all the fight just deflates out of her and the direct accusing look Orpheus gives her at the end of if it's true mixed with seeing his effect on the workers makes her physically rear back like she's gotten the fight slapped back into her

even with this audience who almost for sure has all seen ht before, there was still the loudest heartbroken gasp when orpheus turned. i know everyone calls this out but it still hit me hard that with a greater percentage of previous viewers in the audience it still hit us all like a fucking brick

and ofc. road to hell ii. it's a millions times more impactful than it already was what with the pandemic, making it through hard times and how they could be hard again but making the best of them even if it doesn't turn out well this time either. i was crying so hard last time but this time i was crying harder but also feeling like a huge weight was being like, very softly cradled in my chest to take some of the burden away

TOM'S HADES/HADES AND PERSEPHONE SPECIFIC THOUGHTS --

Tom's Hades whole tl;dr could be that Hades is a Performance. all those descriptions of him beign "jazzy" and "egodriven" are correct, but there is also this massive vibe he gives off that all his showmanship is there as a cover up for the very pessimistic man at the core of him. when him and persephone are getting along the jazziness is there for genuine playfulness with her, but apart from seph it is a purposeful exaggeration on hades' part to get Whatever it is that he wants. he is playing up aggression as king (see papers) and what he thinks as being suave (see hey little songbird) to maintain his throne and his marriage, and Epic III is the Destruction of that performance. Tom's Hades at the end of Epic III isn't trying to sell anyone anything, you just get to see the suddenly very scared and unsure heart of the man behind the performance of foreman and king. And oh boy is Tom's Hades at his heart unsure. He is so fucking pessimistic; back in Act 1 when Orpheus starts to sing Epic I he turns from Persephone even before she gets reminded of the world above and starts longing for it, because he already expects to see it coming and he doesn't turn back to her Ever Again, literally until he comes to get her in Way Down Hadestown. Not even when she gives him a kiss on the cheek goodbye. His Kiss, The Riot is him trying to figure out how the hell he's gonna be able to rebuild his performance after his whole kingdom saw through it, but he also ends it being so very certain that the deal he figures out for Orpheus Will end with Orpheus failing somehow. There is no doubt in this very pessimistic Hades that doubt will come in, whereas Patrick used the end of His Kiss The Riot almost like he was desperately trying to justify that his doubt came to him only in Persephone's absence

road to hell i: tom's hades loves cheering on the band so much he is Part Of The Problem that Hermes has to get to chill out and it makes so much sense for this jazzy dramatic motherfucker

balcony time (road to hell i until livin' it up on top): when they were upstairs playing dominoes they kept laying their tiles with these overexaggerated movements.. Like when they actually getting along they are so damn flirty and trying so hard to make each other smile and laugh and it is TOO CUTE

way down hadestown: Once Again "I missed ya" gives me no rest, mostly because Tom delivered it with this super coy and cocky grin and Amber immediately smiled back at him like Persephone couldn't help herself

chant i: is spent with him looking up proud into his creation while persephone is looking down with heartbreak and disgust seeing the workers as people in suffering and the ugliness of hadestown. as the song goes on he gets increasingly frustrated like a child who's super proud of the drawing he brought home from school that Persephone has nothing but terrible things to say about. when eurydice starts singing about her suffering seph throws out her arm and points to her like "see! See what you're doing!!" while hades is more in himself processing his disappointment, frustration, heartbreak, but over the next minute you start to see him Formulating A Plan as he watches eurydice. but he doesn't look entirely sold on going through with it until seph throws out her last verse in disgust. it was absolutely the straw that broke the camel's back.

hey little songbird: THO IT SOUNDS SO SEDUCTIVE ON AUDIO. OML DOES IT LEAN INTO EURYDICE'S "STRANGE MAN" DESCRIPTOR. HADES IS LIKE THE CREEPY SALESMAN ON THE CORNER WITH WATCHES AND A TRENCHCOAT. BUT HE'S SELLING HIS SHIT WELL, HE'S JUST ALSO A WEIRDO

Why We Build The Wall/"Behind Closed Doors": That followup on hades' threat when eurydice arrives in hadestown. as hades goes to the stairs he like not whacks, but definitely nudges seph's arm harder than Patrick does to get her attention. when he did she Startled and laid her hand over her arm where he'd tapped her like she was overwhelmed by just that touch........ but then she turns around and watches him take Eurydice up and when he opens his coat and she Realizes you see her whole body go slack. once eurydice goes past the office doors hades turns and lingers staring pointedly down at seph, for *seconds* whereas with patrick i remember it being more of a pointed glance. it drills home that hades is doing this specifically to spite seph and he wants her to know it. and you can see amber discreetly wipe her face before she turns back to "does anybody want a DRINK." there's less direct seduction between hades and eurydice but more explicit threat between hades and seph about eurydice

papers: actually isn't too much Bastärde as it is his Performance. HOWEVER, the way he directs the workers to beat Orpheus is chilling. Like patrick he hangs around, but he's watching until the last 10 seconds so it's way longer. And he makes like the smallest gestures with his hand to direct the workers to the different stages of beating Orpheus, fuck it was twisted

how long: how long actually starts with seph and hades seemingly coming to each other on a similar page - hades came out pensively fiddling with his wedding ring and Amber delivered "I know" like seph was already past the eurydice situation. this also could have been a product of time and seeing how actually little he did "seducing" eurydice lmao

chant ii: very much Hades Sees Orpheus As A Threat™️ (more on this further below) , also dare i say it but tom kills I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY

epic iii: oh man oh man. he looks so untouched until Orpheus starts the lalas and he goes from completely passive unimpressed face to like. his body unfolds on his stool and his hands go slack and he looked between Orpheus and Persephone when he asked where Orpheus had gotten his melody. he asked it a lot softer than I expected him too as well. a big part of the audience actually laughed when Hades sang his lala because Tom cracks his voice during it but it petered off into sniffling when they realized why and then we were all just crying together as persephone placed the flower in his vest.

lovers desire: SOME VERY CUTE STUFF. hades' performance is broken but tom's hades is still a Jazzy Jazzy Man at heart and they're like 100 times more playful with each other - they're both giggling and grinning their asses off while they dance together and give each other these like nudges to the next series of steps and it was adorable and I was discretely sobbing. they both played it like they knew how to do this dance with each other better than they knew anything, the little nudges were like..... them playing inside this dance they already knew so well? Like more overexaggeration to make each other laugh and just revel in this wonderful thing they've rediscovered- specifically I remember that Amber raised her skirt soooooo high when she was doing the curtsey and Tom was like waggling his eyebrows at her and adding extra flourishes with his hands and widening his eyes super big everytime he pulled off a move (the funniest ones were when they do like the two-step where they move one after another in sequence and he's copying her moves in reverse and oml it was just adorable). When Seph had the move where she pulls their linked arms over his head to tuck him into her I remember that was the one part where he wasn't doing this goofy act but his expression straight up melted and he looked so smitten. and when it's the last bit of the dance and he spins her across the stage, seph's face breaks open with tears his expression responds with like this mix of heartbreak and "ohhhhh no baby please don't cry" as he moved across the stage to quickly take her into his arms for the dip at the end

AFTER this when orphydice has finished promises and right before Orpheus turns to ask Hades if they can go, they come out of slow dancing to the side but are still super wrapped up in each other - seph wraps herself around one of his arms and presses herself super close and Tom leaned down with this little smile like Hades was gonna try and steal a quick kiss, but then he hears/sees out of the corner of his eye/senses or something Orpheus approaching and pulls himself up and formal to be the king. When he says I don't know and seph wrenches herself away from him to the other side of the stage to firmly stand behind Orphydice he gets this look of Extreme Frustration on that she's still not standing with him and these damn kids are still more important, bc even with character growth he still is a petty selfish bitch who does not like to share lmao, he's just getting that he Has To now

wait for me ii: Hades stays onstage by the microphone stand to the left to watch Hermes deliver his judgement to orphydice/seph/the workers and watching Tom during this was a Treat. this is the first time he's seeing how orphydice and esp Orpheus function when he's not involved to terrify them. they're so sweet and so good, and they have what looks like so much unwavering faith in each other unlike him and seph, maybe they really could... so when he delivers "i let them try" that last word is stretched with so much wonder. he's getting this first glimpse into feeling how everyone else felt when orpheus sang of how the world could be that isn't just focused in about how he feels about persephone, which always drives him - now he's having to deal with the Greater Implications and orpheus' seemingly unbreakable faith in a better world rocks him to his core. that certainty that orpheus would fail gets shaken as he watches them and when Seph asks him if he thinks they'll make it, his I Don't Know is 1/2 defensive and 1/2 actual uncertainty. he still hates to be wrong but he's wondering if his beliefs about doubt will turn out differently this time. he isn't optimistic about it by any means but orpheus, eurydice, and the workers' response to them both does give him pause

meanwhile in hades and persephone's section, on a personal level they deliver their lines to each other like they're a great deal more nervous about what next fall will bring than i've seen and heard before - something I'm thinking stems from hades' worldview being so suddenly shaken and seph too being a little more vulnerable?

MISC THOUGHTS

Tom seems to be leaning into Hades not having done anything with Eurydice other than tempt her down - once she's in Hadestown even during Why We Build The Wall he drops the salesman croon entirely and when he does rarely speak to her/about her it's commanding as a king who sees her just as another object under his possession, with very little interest in her for anything at all beyond that. he was just going after the goal of making sure Seph knew he had Options whether or not he actually pursued them

tom is super dedicated to how power-hungry hades is. I remember when I saw Patrick during chant ii he was playing hades as more affected by how much seph seemed to care about the workers now and desperately trying to get her attention back (even negatively), Tom was more consumed in seeing Orpheus as a threat because of how effectively he had turned his "children" on him. He knocks Seph down in those "shackle her from wrist to wrist" less as a personal petty attack to her like Patrick does and more like to try and destabilize her as someone backing Orpheus up. Tom's Hades perceives Orpheus as a Threat no matter how much he plays up his Performance as Nonchalant Jazzy King. he really emphasizes Hades' relationship to Orpheus whereas Patrick played more into his relationship with Eurydice, which makes so much sense what with Tom's Hades being a pettier more egotistical messy bitch obsessed with his kingdom and Patrick's Hades' obsession being his wife and Hadestown being like, this side-effect of being a god that he just couldn't help, he Had to build and strive for power whereas Tom's Hades reveled in it and wanted it. Instinct versus drive I guess. one of my buds put it super well as: "Patrick!Hades sees everything as a threat to his power Tom!Hades is so certain of his power that he can afford to be somewhat nonchalant but the fact that Orpheus alone is his main genuine threat is fucking brilliant"

and ok for now, that's what I've got! if anyone wants any clarification or wants to ask details about specific moments I didn't put in here feel free to shoot me an ask!

#hadestown #em speaks #theater #tom hewitt

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fitzefitcher · 3 years ago

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faction conflict soapbox, pt. 2

school 2: I’m tired of faction conflict, in general

@alldepressednshit said: To be honest, it feels overdone. Also, it keeps getting sidelined by *insert world-threatining asspull* BfA could’ve been great if it was an actual civil war. Like a baron zemo type setting out to destroy the horde and alliance from within.

@ashyteg said: I wish we could all hang out and play hearthstone

@baenling said: annoying as fuck. should have been over in mists of pandaria. literally zero reason for the faction war to continue

@swampgallows said: i just like being a zombie lady with a conscience and an ability to be hugged by huge monster people who are my family and would never hurt me

Anonymous asked: I wish people would stop bickering over which faction is worse, admit both factions are problematic and stop trying to morally high road the other for faction pride.

Anonymous asked: Hi yes I have come to talk about Horde vs Alliance. Honestly I use to be a big fan of it back in the day. Two big factions, warring over resources that would occasionally have to realize there are bigger threats. Thought it was fun, had faction pride in grinding up PVP reps to be like: Yes FOR THE HORDE. I just think things took a big downturn in Mists. Before it felt kind of balanced, sure Garrosh was "bad" but at the time i thought: well Varian started the war back in Wrath. 1/?

Having the war break out across the continents when before it was sort of like a cold war with a few active fighting spots was cool! I didn't think the Horde was being portrayed as 100% evil! But after that... I don't think the Alliance has really been shown ever in the wrong or negative. And that's just fucking boring. Not to mention literally punishes half the player base for preferring one faction. The Horde has so much creative potential but they never use it. So really sours it. 2/2

so I think the core issue with this is probably less that the faction conflict itself is happening, and more that it's happening but without any sense or meaning, and that it's happening in such a way that feels extremely unbalanced on either side. faction conflict, when it's done well, can be an extremely rewarding and memorable experience.

like, anybody that's played vanilla will tell you how fun an experience the scarab wall event was, and I myself remember how fun the thunder isle event was. and I think what worked for those events was that they were less like. Dark, Gritty War Conflict, and more played like a high school field day. Like there's certainly competition, and faction pride, but it's actually fun because it's more focused on Achievement than it is on Active Conflict. Like, people meme on the Argent Crusade Sponsored Renaissance Faire, but tbh that's some the most fun I've had with wow, and it ended being a really memorable experience for me and many of the people I was playing with at the time, in part because it was so light-hearted and silly and campy. in my opinion, wow is at its best when it leans into the stupid, silly camp, and that's why hearthstone has a better handle on warcraft and its characters than wow does lmao.

But I will acknowledge that this doesn't always work beyond just gameplay mechanics and overall experience- I love the argent tournament, but as a story, it's dumb as fuck, and at the time, felt extremely out of place for the wrath storyline. Like, we did naxx, then ulduar, and we were revving up to do ICC, which was (and still is, for the most part) regarded as one of its most serious story arcs, and it held a lot of gravity to it in terms of buildup, and the sort of consquences it would have afterwards. Whether or not those consequences were actually addressed afterwards are another issue entirely, but the point here is, ICC is an extremely memorable raid, and was very rewarding as an experience and story end (for the most part, let's stay on topic though), and it absolutely would not have worked if they had leaned into the campy silliness that worked for other things in wow. Here, the grim seriousness does work, because there was plenty of setup and payoff for it. like, even well before we get to ICC, or even wrath, there's buildup for the scourge starting in vanilla, and even in w3.

I think the wrath expansion in general was very very memorable, bc it was an expac where the stakes were pretty well-balanced in terms of alliance and horde content. like, the alliance's bone to pick with scourge is fairly obvious, and while the horde's was less so, the forsaken's was even more obvious, and there was planting and payoff of how the horde needed to go, both because the forsaken are their ally and this is their time of need, and that the scourge are a threat to everyone. truthfully, the alliance side of things I don't remember quite as well, but it was more staged as like, the alliance sort of acknowledging that Arthas (and that many aspects of the Scourge including KT and the cult of the damned) are very much problems that stemmed from the Alliance, and that they had a sort of responsibility to take care of it and make things right, even if they weren't necessarily Directly responsible for Arthas himself. So, there's equal setup in place for both factions, and equal stakes, even if they're not the same, and what faction conflict that does happen within the storyline has a setup and payoff. like, let's look at the wrathgate: a rogue faction of forsaken unleash hell on everyone at the battle of the wrathgate, whether they be scourge, alliance, or horde, and there are immediate consequences afterwards for each faction that feel engaging and meaningful. horde-side, you have to drive out the traitors that turned against your ally and retake one of your core cities, and alliance-side, you're taking immediate action against a faction that just completely fucked you over at a really key battle against a mutual enemy, a particular part of that faction that was already on thin fucking ice to begin with in terms of like. doing morally questionable, reprehensible things. and the ending, while daunting and honestly a little emotionally frustrating, neither punishes nor rewards either faction, and amps up the conflict in a way that feels realistic given the circumstances. And I think that this was really memorable as a questline, and as an expansion, because again, there was setup and payoff, but also, the prior two expansions weren't super focused on the faction conflict as much as wrath had started drumming up.

yes, there was conflict, obviously, but it wasn't so all-consuming as to make it tiresome or overwhelming or frustrating, and didn't feel particularly unbalanced or unfair. I think it should also be noted that faction conflict had never taken the spotlight so strongly in this way before, so it was this novel thing still being explored, and again, working off of things that had previous setup, felt like reasonable or realistic consequences, and above all, were balanced in what sort of story beats were being explored for either faction. wrath for the most part felt like a very natural, very organic step forward in the wow storyline overall, and while I don't agree with every decision made with it, particularly towards the end, I cannot deny that it was definitely one of if not my favorite expansion, and was extremely formative for how I engage with wow, and with stories as a whole.

all that being said, I think it's a fairly reasonable conclusion to draw that faction conflict in recent years has been souring the game for a lot of people, and I can't really blame them, as I, too, have a bone to pick with it. bofa in particular was pretty rough for a number of reasons, but I think the number one reason is how unbalanced it felt in terms of storyline for either faction. bofa imo sortof works as a synopsis for why Horde Bias(TM) is such a huge point of contention between horde and alliance, in that the horde faction spent most of the expansion losing characters, whether that be to character death or death of character development, watched their faction tear themselves apart for what feels like dozens of times now, and basically felt as though that the Evil label was being forced on them, and that they had no choice in the matter for any of this. The alliance faction, meanwhile, didn't really get much of anything. Kul Tiras isn't really as rewarding a leveling experience as Zandalar is in terms of the individual zone stories being strung together, the allied race factions they got didn't feel as fun or varied as the ones the horde got, and seemingly had no actions, issues, or consequences with any sort of serious examination. It's hard to have fun or get any sort of emotional satisfaction from a story that doesn't really let you do anything, and doesn't really show that your actions have any consequences at all, whether they be good or bad, and seemingly is spending all of their time and attention on the other faction. Like, the horde is suffering, and that suffering is definitely, wholly unfair, but the alliance seemingly isn't getting any sort of attention, at all. But because they're not constantly getting a bat to the head story-wise, horde players (including myself) just get really frustrated when accused of favoritism, because like. There is literally no benefit whatsoever to having blizzard's attention, when all blizzard does is take away everything you love lmao. This, I would say, is a matter of violence vs. negligence. Both are forms of harm, but they are radically different in terms of how they hurt you, and neither is inherently more hurtful than the other.

I think if I were to propose a solution to this, I think that the first step should be to pull back on faction conflict as a major component to the story, which they have at least partially. But I think the next step is to give a fairer distribution of attention to characters. Like, I complain about the Horde losing characters, and I'm not taking that back because it's True, but it would be remiss of me not to touch on the fact that, for how many dozens of characters the alliance has, the only ones who really get the attention are like. Human Males. In particular, Anduin. And if they're not Anduin, they're usually characters within Anduin's immediate peer circle. And then the characters that aren't human men and do get attention are usually ones that are getting shafted, somehow, or are getting painted as Wrong and Violent and Stupid for Disagreeing With Anduin- i.e., tyrande. And before Anduin, the only character that really got any sort of serious attention was Varian, which is probably why alliance players as a whole took his death so hard. It's hard not to feel some kind of way about losing a favorite toy when that toy is damn near the only one you functionally have lmao.

I know shadowlands as an expac has been pretty polarizing to people in terms of experience, but tbh I think this is a good step forward in resetting the stakes, and making things in either faction feel a little more balanced. I do think that the consequences of the conflict in bofa has to be addressed Eventually, and I'm honestly a little afraid of what they're going to do next, but this is alright for now.

#essay tag #faction conflict soapbox #warcraft #long post wheezes

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thevividgreenmoss · 4 years ago

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My grandfather was awake and lucid for a longish while between late Friday night and Saturday morning apparently first time since this past Sunday when we all thought that was It and crammed ourselves seven people in one sedan that got a flat on the way over of course (as we were leaving the handle of the screen door came off in my hand as I was closing it behind me so the vibe was very on the nose things farcically falling apart that whole goddamn day lol) but then when we made it he was smiling and laughing and talking to and teasing everyone that was there, albeit with much more effort than it would have taken him even just a week earlier when he was already in a really frail state because of his hip surgery. My sister happened to be up later than she usually ever is and got to video call and chat with him for a bit I wanted terribly for my cousin in Colorado to be able to also but by the time he could get through my grandpa's blood pressure had suddenly spiked or something and he'd drifted back into that borderline unconscious state so they didn't get a chance to talk which makes me want to claw my fucking skin off of my face but who knows maybe another opportunity will present itself hopefully it does like he suddenly became really talkative and energized the other day after not having said more than maybe a couple sentences over the few previous days like I was there with him for several hours on Thursday and the entire time he didn't say a word and only opened his eyes once for like half a second and even that I might have been imagining after sitting there sleep-deprived and holding his hand trying not to cry because then my mom would start crying and then my aunt and on and on and if he's conscious at that point he'll start to get worried and his heart rate will destabilize but after that for this one stretch without anyone expecting it he was really talkative and alert and joking around with the nurses and doctors and all that for a while but then later yesterday afternoon he started to get disoriented and drift in and out of the present in between dreaming and waking again at one point apparently he kept saying 'look at my shoes' to my mom and her sisters and they thought it was just just the medication/pain-induced delirium talking but he kept insisting and eventually said 'you're not taking me seriously' and I guess gave up? Or said it a few more times I'm not clear on the course of events I only heard all this secondhand when my younger aunt, who also got diagnosed with cancer late last year but thankfully is more or less in the clear now, got back home last night and she and I went into his room and took all the shoes out of the cabinet he keeps them in and like looked inside and turned over and examined the soles of every pair, took the cushion insert things out of the ones that had them, checked for scooby doo-esque hidden doors, all that but there was nothing there just shoes. Her kids flew back out yesterday morning, the older one's tentatively returning to Toronto in the next week or so she had a painfully rough time in some ways her first couple of years and then abruptly had to be uprooted and leave because of covid then everything with her mom and in time honored eldest daughter tradition bearing the brunt of the familial frustration and insanity associated with that and now everything with our grandpa I really really want her senior year to go smoothly and be enjoyable and memorable in a manner opposite to how this past year+ has been I'm so worried about her and her little sister's starting freshman year there in the fall and I'm terribly worried about her in a whole different way like she's still really attached to her parents in this innocent way that still strongly resembles like a baby's adoring my mom hung the moon type attachment and it can be especially hard being away for the first time ever when that's the case...like she's hyper hypersensitive even by my family's standards lmao but she does have this sort of self-possession and inner groundedness that no one can quite pin down but it's

definitely there and maybe that

could carry her through I really hope so...they were saying to come up to visit them in the fall hopefully I can find a job soon after returning to Texas and like be able to afford to do that and also like keep paying the bills and shit lol in either case I hope so so badly that they'll be okay like I think they will be the women in my family are all really strong but they've also had to be because of various fucked circumstances and I don't want that to keep having to be the case...my grandpa's a Strong Woman in a certain way also honestly lmao like my mom's aunts have always been like your father raised you in a way beyond even most mothers which like who fucking receives let alone genuinely deserves that kind of praise from their in-laws lmao let alone a man from a notoriously patriarchal culture of a generation when fathers from any culture barely had any involvement in their children's upbringing at all which I mean most still don't but even more so back then and like literally everyone we've been hearing from or seeing drop by at the hospital has a story of how at one point or another my grandpa was there for them when no one else was like distant cousins variously removed and loose family friends all with something about how he comforted me when no one else could, I remember word for word what he said to me when I suffered some loss of my own, he's the strongest man in our family, the best times we ever had were when he was near us, when he'd take us out, his youngest brother's children saying he cared for and spoiled them as if their were his own after their dad died suddenly when they were just kids, my mom's third cousin whose own father was with her till a late age saying that he was even more of a father to me than my own father, his other brother's son who was ostracized for decades by his immediate family on some straight up racist ass bullshit on the part of his mom and older brother because he married a black woman but my grandpa stayed in touch and made sure my mom and uncle did as well and made sure we all got together when he'd came to the states, like even now lying there on what very well might be his literal deathbed when he can barely talk he was telling my uncle he's worried about him and he needs to go home and rest, asking who's taking care of the house, are the kids all okay even at this point his thoughts are for others. After I put his shoes back in the cabinet I closed it and opened the one beside just in case I guess just in case what I don't know but it was just like standard cabinet stuff clothes a shaving kit and a couple of what I assume are photo albums that I didn't feel like I should open for some reason and a few old books, a collection of Ghalib's which I can't really read very easily if at all because it's in Urdu lol, a history of government college of Lahore where his father was teaching at the time of his death and the two philosophy textbooks my great grandfather had written himself, Inductive & Deductive Reasoning, and inside the latter I found a handful of yellowed pages torn out of an old notebook upon which mostly seem to be translations of french poems and I think maybe a song or two? I guess old coursework or just for funsies I'm not sure whether written by my grandfather or his own father. My khala was mentioning just the other day that she'd kept one of my grandpa's old notebooks marked as having been designated for biology but inside it were no actual notes just urdu poetry which she wasn't sure whether it was his own original tossed off work or something the lifelong frustrated creative transcribed while bored in class. The night I got here I was looking through his bookshelves after everyone had gone to bed and then a couple of weeks ago I was sitting in the living room by myself watching archer when my cousin came and sat down next to me upset and unable to sleep on her own first night here and I held her and tried not to cry and then went through the same bookshelves again, this time with my cousin who we came to Pakistan for the first time after moving to the US

to see being born who turned three

the day we arrived on what until this current trip was the last time I was here her little sister having just been born earlier that same year (whose life I may or may not have saved when I caught her after she was dropped by the person holding her (the fact that (parentheticals within parentheticals!) I may or may not have been the one who dropped her in the first place is immaterial imo not that I'm the one on trial here but what's important is that I caught her and if anything this would be an even more athletically impressive and frankly heroic incident if I'd been the one that was holding her to begin with since I was 8/9 years old at the time and there wasn't much of a distance for her to fall and yet I kept her from hitting the ground like talk about reflexes like that's what's important and what's more important than even that @ my year older cousin (whose younger sister was the first baby in the family after myself whose arrival in this world when I was three had me positively giddy in the way that young children get when witnessing the miracle of even younger children, who's the only other one of the cousins that's been here during all this, just me and the three I got to see as darling little babies) who was the only other person in the room with me at the time, is that we take this to our fucking graves no one can hear a word of this least of all any adults in the house who like not that they're the ones on trial here either but like who allowed for this scenario to transpire in the first place where two children and an infant are in a room by themselves unsupervised in retrospect that's somewhat irresponsible not that I'd ever hold it against them or even mention it because then they might get mad and not let me hold my little cousin anymore and I do love holding my little baby cousin and carrying her around everywhere, mostly without incident)) neither of whom I'd see in person again until we visited them in Canada the summer after I graduated college the trip during which I finished the last of the Neapolitan novels the day after landing and turned 22 the day after their mother, my younger khala, turned 43, looking through my nana's bookshelves with my baby cousin no longer a baby but a U of T classics major entering her senior year, noting the overlaps with our own, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, George Eliot, the same exact copies of Cheever and Kafka's collected shorts, Umberto Eco, Proust, wondering what the various titles meant to him or what they might say about him, wondering how much of even the version of him that can be hypothesized based off his library I'm missing now that I'm limited to the much reduced version of what had been in his old home in Lahore (when he visited us after my junior year of hs and my mom was trying to convince him to downsize and move in with my other aunt with whom he's been living the past several years, the one who most resembles my grandfather the only one that has his cheekbones my khala whose eyes have sunken all the way into her skull before my eyes with exhaustion and grief over the past two weeks, when my mom was like what's the point of just hanging onto a bunch of books that you've already read: I look at them [dramatic pause], and I feel happy [my mom sighing equally dramatically in.exasperation, me cracking up in the background]) the city I was born in the house where I spent the first almost five years of my life before we moved to the US to join my dad who'd moved back shortly after my mom became pregnant with what turned out to be me, abu nana's house with the garden we'd walk through every morning holding his hand and following along as he puttered around with his plants in the garden in the house in the city he had to leave to move into my khala's house in Islamabad where I've been the past almost a month now where two weeks ago he suddenly came down with pneumonia and had to be dragged to a hospital in Rawalpindi where he's been since, not in his house, my nana's house, with the garden in the city I haven't seen since the last time I was in this country the

summer I

turned nine the day after my khala turned 30 the day before my other khala turned 32(?) the summer I first remember obsessive compulsive disorder becoming an overwhelming aspect of my consciousness although it was there before, the first summer of the Iraq war and being terrified watching the Iraq war unfold on the BBC evening news my nana would turn on

at dinner time and hearing for the first time or maybe just the first time I remember the night we left the phrase 'the rich will get richer and the poor will get poorer' from my younger khala talking to her sisters and some family friends that had come over to see us off feeling terrified and cold then embarrassed because she noticed my face visibly fall from across the room and told my mom and I was like godammit everyone knows I'm scared now smhead then crying the entire flight back home because I missed everyone and maybe had a little kid premonition that I wouldn't return to my nana's house and I would be years and years till I saw any of them again some I still haven't or maybe there was nothing premonitory about it but in either case that's the way it turned out. I do feel grateful I got to see him again at all, when he last came to the US late 2016-early 2017 I was sure it would be the last time we would be in the same room. I'd make breakfast for us every morning and we'd eat together and the entire day I'd sit next to him inhaling secondhand smoke and talking and reading. I was in the midst of my initial aborted attempt to read Swann's way when he arrived. I'd gotten to Guermantes way last summer but I couldn't find a secondhand copy so I had to read it via ebook and that didn't feel right so I abandoned it until now I've been reading a copy pulled from his bookshelf. Last he visited was the first time I learned we were both Garcia Marquez-heads which I'd kind of assumed before and I showed him Mad Men which he heavily fucked with and also every John Le Carre adaptation I could track down online. From the first time I read one hundred years of solitude the summer after freshman year of college the passage describing Colonel Aureliano Buendia's death already absolutely and unbearably heartwrenching enough immediately brought thoughts of my grandfather, aching aching sorrow over the solitude that he himself existed within in all the fucking pain his life has been inordinately filled with grief over the knowledge of this inevitable final separation from him after so many years and so much distance already having separated him from the people he loved and cared for and he loved and cared for so many people so deeply with such sincerity and beauty and endless endless warmth and compassion and humor when Gabo wrote of the colonel trying to reach back through to his memories and being unable to after previously recalling that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice even years later, as he faced the firing squad, at the moment of his death like a 'baby chick' my poor frail beautiful grandfather appearing exactly the same way when he'd take off his dentures and curl over to the side to sleep, then when awake but still half asleep hearing your voice having brought his apple cider vinegar and garlic concoction or a cup of tea or just coming by to hold his hand or play with his beard the way all of his grandchildren have at one point or another and smiling with his eyes still closed smiling bright and wide the expression of a precious little cat purring as you scratch under its chin always the most beautiful smile and even as his hair turned white and his body withered and wrinkled and shrunk his cheekbones while still not bad long ago ceased being the way they were in that picture from his wedding day back when he he looked like young Robert De Niro's much much prettier Kashmiri cousin from then until now always that same radiance and those same quick-witted and kind and bright bright bright sparkling eyes. The past month and a half I've been feeling like I'm seeing my own mother dying before my eyes along with her father, my adorable beloved abu nana, I can't even begin to comprehend how she must be feeling right now I feel like I'm witnessing her death in advance through all of this and losing the part of her that is him even though I know that's not actually the case. Things have been so fucking painful and complicated between us but the one thing we've shared that's never

been painful is our love for him. When he left after his last visit four years ago I spent the next two days barely able to even talk. Compliments or like any positive comments directed in my directions have almost always caused me this reflexive discomfort and uneasiness but whenever he or anyone else would say that I'm his favorite grandchild I'd want to hold on to that as closely as i possibly can. I don't want him to leave us and more than that I want for whatever happens to at least happen with him back at home but neither of those things seem likely right now although who the fuck knows. I hope his last thoughts can be of flowers, like Kafka's, and Lispector's, or of love, wherever he is I hope it's not asking too much to hope for that at least. For someone that spent his life so deeply immersed within that Garciamarquesian solitude he never made those around him feel any way other than at home, safe and warm and loved and adored and adorable and lovable and at home not because of a place not even the garden at the house in Lahore but with him always always I've never felt more at home than during the times I spent near him, and his love and his flowers

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panharmonium · 4 years ago

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next round of in-progress naruto thoughts under the cut

[i actually haven’t progressed that far from where i was last time, honestly, but i could feel myself getting to a stage where i had some things i needed to write up.]

fyi, this one is a little more gripe-y than usual - still enjoying myself, but there are some things in the current arc that are bugging me.

[spoiler policy disclaimer first, as always: I am watching naruto for the first time and have only gotten to the point where naruto and bee break out of the island barrier and leave to join the war. i am trying to avoid spoilers, so please don’t interact with this (tags included, because the notifications now show them to me automatically) with any spoilery commentary, including even general things like “oh i love this show but it gets less good after X point” or “X season is better than Y season” or any general assessments of quality/likability/etc re: future seasons. Thank you! <3 ]

anyway, to go ahead with my grousing -

there are a couple things about this current arc that have me feeling "ehhh.”

1) too many dead people

i’ve personally always been lukewarm on the “revive/reanimate dead characters for the Confrontation Value” trope, which is probably due to me having been a comics fan for so long (i was pretty deep into DC-land during Blackest Night, and that’s not even the first/last time this sort of thing has been done there, so). i’m not saying it CAN’T be done in an interesting way, but most of the time my experience with it has been that it’s kind of cheap/redundant storytelling. it usually doesn’t add much to an emotional arc, for me, and when it retreads an emotional arc that did have a strong conclusion, i feel like all it does is weaken the original story.

so like - places where i feel like shippuden does this well are with minato and kushina. i found both of those scenes with naruto to be powerful moments that added something new to the story/to naruto’s development. (but they’re not even part of the whole reanimation jutsu plotline, which is what i’m mostly feeling “eh” on, so it’s not even the greatest example.)

a place where i’m kind of in the middle is with asuma. on the one hand, i really don’t think that this needed to happen, because the original story arc with him was SO strong. however, they did kind of redeem themselves in a way by focusing the redux on choji instead of shikamaru, so at least they were still saying/exploring something something new.

places where i’m still pretty dubious are pretty much...everyone else. i’m just not sure...well, i don’t know. i can’t really say definitively how i feel about it until i get to the end of the arc and see how it ends, but at the current moment, i’m just not sure what we get out of seeing people like zabuza+haku, lady chio, itachi, nagato, etc....ALL of those stories had such powerful endings; it just makes me leery of these “resurrections” invalidating everything we saw previously/weakening the impact of what came before.

2) mixed messaging

this is my bigger gripe, and it’s something i’ve kind of had floating on the edges of my mind for a long time, but this season especially is highlighting it.

the one thing that is guaranteed to make me frustrated about this show (besides its obvious disinterest in female characters) is when it starts to lean super hard into the “Naruto Is The Only One Who Can Do It!” for every single task that needs to be completed. and i know this is a stupid thing to complain about when the show is literally titled “Naruto,” but the reason it gets frustrating is because the initial message of this show was never “one super special person must do everything on their own and save everyone else.” the original message of this show was teamwork.

the very first lesson kakashi teaches the kids (and the foundation upon which the rest of the story has been built) is “you are stronger together.” if you had all come at me together, you might have been able to take [the bells]! he specifically criticizes naruto for working alone: “naruto - you do EVERYTHING on your own. EVERYTHING.” and that’s understood to be the Wrong Thing; it’s the reason naruto ends up tied to the stump. but in the last few seasons especially (though there have definitely been previous moments where this has shown up before) the ONLY thing we keep hearing is how naruto has to accomplish everything by himself.

it didn’t bother me in the Pain arc; i actually thought that confrontation was appropriate and necessary for naruto’s development. but ever since then, it’s escalated to a point where now it’s like - “naruto is the only one who can fight sasuke! naruto is the only one who can defeat madara! naruto is the only one who can stop the war! naruto is the only one who can erase everybody’s hatred!”

and that’s the point at which i start to get frustrated, because my mind is like “okay, and the other characters are going to be doing...what, exactly?”

again, maybe it’s stupid to complain about that when the show is literally titled “Naruto.” but i don’t think so. title notwithstanding, this story at its heart was, in the beginning, an ensemble show with four main characters, whereas nowadays, the messaging is that only one of those characters can actually accomplish anything. so i get kind of resentful, when i’m told that the other members of the team can’t do anything but step back and hold naruto up, because the essential message of this story has ALWAYS been “teamwork is more important than anything. you are NEVER stronger by yourself. we ALL have something to contribute.”

right now, the other characters feel like they’ve just been shunted off to do busywork. none of them have grown or changed at all since the end of season 10 (and even the end of season 10 was starting to slide into the “only naruto can do anything about sasuke in the end blah blah” - yes it’s a huge pet peeve of mine but it is what it is; whatever; moving on). we haven’t even SEEN sasuke since the end of season 10. there’s been no consideration given to how kakashi is handling being drafted into a second war and being put in charge of 20,000 lives (and his clash with zabuza was just a vehicle for all the characters to reflect once again on how great naruto is). there’s been virtually ZERO attention given to how sakura is handling things, minus that one scene where she’s looking at gory pictures from the previous great ninja war. everybody is just marking time, punching a bunch of identical white zetsus until naruto can come solve the problem and wow everyone with his new abilities.

part of my annoyance might just be due to the fact that the timeline is so wonky due to filler arcs - it feels like ages have passed for me, but in-universe it really hasn’t been all that long. but i also think there are legitimate reasons for me to be frustrated, when the show introduces things and then just unceremoniously drops them without any indicator of when they might be picked up again. like - the uchiha genocide reveal was (i thought) a Huge Fucking Deal that should have Major Repercussions - but it’s just kind of.....disappeared as an issue??? and yamato - he’s been CAPTURED!!!!!! but the show has not shown a single character reacting to this, or even being informed that it happened, and i think that’s shitty, actually. yamato isn’t a minor character. he’s been naruto’s personal guardian since season 2. he has done SO MUCH for the kids, and he is kakashi’s friend, and i think it is shitty to have him get captured by the same people who experimented on him as a child and then not spend a second or two making it clear that other characters CARE about this.

anyway. this is just something that’s been creeping up on me as time goes on, and the last few episodes of “Naruto is the Savior of the Entire World” talk just made it feel more immediate, i guess. plus the new intro (which i know may not be reliable; sometimes they show things that never happen) had a shot of naruto fighting itachi, and i think that tipped me over the edge, lmao, because you know what? enough!!!!! naruto can’t be the one who gets to do EVERYTHING! some stories are not about him! there are other characters who have relationships that are not about naruto. there are places where other characters should be able to accomplish things naruto can’t do. the other main characters should be allowed to complete their personal arcs, separate from (not just secondary to) naruto’s journey.

like - just - this is how i feel: this show started out as a story about a group of four people, and the root theme was “teamwork is everything.” i don’t like how the show has slowly started to mutate into a story about naruto’s “solitary” quest to save sasuke, when we have seen MANY TIMES that:

a) sakura was the first of the kids who even knew that something was wrong with sasuke, while naruto remained utterly oblivious all the way through shonen jump (and partway into shippuden, tbh)

b) kakashi in the past has connected with sasuke in ways that NEITHER of the two kids have been able to achieve

i just don’t like it. i don’t like how S10 had sakura say the line “naruto...you were the first one to ever see the darkness in sasuke...” when she’s reflecting on their fight on top of the hospital, because that is a LIE. it’s a blatant retcon. of the kids, sakura was the one who knew from the very beginning that something was wrong with sasuke. she was the one who was with him when he had that semi-dissociative episode during the bells test. she was the one who was with him during all the curse mark stuff in the forest of death. she was the one who knew something was off when he challenged naruto to a fight - naruto was just psyched that sasuke wanted to “spar” with him! and SHE was the one who suspected that sasuke might do something as drastic as leave the village - naruto explicitly told her not to worry; that sasuke was totally fine; he would never ever do something like that!

like - the show already barely gives sakura anything for herself; now they try to take this away from her, too? and give it to naruto? to hammer in a kind of connection between naruto and sasuke that demonstrably did not exist?? (i’m not saying that naruto and sasuke don’t have their own important relationship! but it is just provably untrue that naruto was the person who understood sasuke best. shonen jump goes out of its way to demonstrate how clueless naruto is about what sasuke is really like and what he’s going through. naruto is SHOCKED that sasuke would go to orochimaru. he doesn’t realize that their fight on top of the hospital is anything more than their usual rivalry business. when sasuke pops out of the coffin behind kimimaro, naruto waves and starts laughing, because he thinks sasuke is still on their side and is going to run right home! and even in shippuden, when naruto hears that orochimaru is dead, he gets all excited and goes “so sasuke must be on his way back to the leaf village!!! :D” like. he just doesn’t get it.)

and i won’t really get into kakashi’s side of things here, because i would end up writing too much, but suffice to say that i am just...wary of the way it feels like recent parts of the show are trying to minimize or...push aside the real, textually-documented connections that kakashi and sakura had with sasuke in favor of “Only Naruto Can Help!” it frustrates me. kakashi made inroads with sasuke that neither of the kids ever achieved. sasuke talks to kakashi in a more honest way than he ever does with either of his peers, even when he’s out of his head with rage. and i would prefer to see this show taking the angle that all three of sasuke’s team members are going to be indispensable for saving him.

you know. like teamwork.

#anyway #it's important to note that this is all preemptive grousing #it's based on how i'm feeling right now #but i still have so much to watch #the show could easily prove me wrong and handle things in a way that i feel better about #but i was feeling annoyed enough that i wanted to type this all up anyway #naruto #pan watches naruto

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onthepageoftears · 5 years ago

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Kill Your Darlings Ch. 18 (Jaskier x Assassin!Reader) || Witcher

A/N: Another long chapter! Only a few more to go! I’m gonna be a little MIA while I play The Last of Us Part II, but I’ll still check back and reblog some stuff! So if I don’t reply to your comments etc right away it’s just because I’m crying over Ellie and Joel lmao Enjoy!

Your comments and feedback are always encouraged and mean a lot to me!

Summary: The ones we were once closest to might be further than we remember.

Warnings: mentions of death, killing, blood, wounds, bruises, language, fluff, slight angst/comfort, tensionnnn, and more angst hehe

Words: 3,731

Please Don’t Plagiarize My Work!

Time was slow.

Maybe it was because your adrenaline was dying down. Maybe it was because you just realized the bard next to you was not just…a bard. But sitting in the bandit camp you and Geralt and Jaskier had just cleared out, you were feeling anything but anxious, anything but worried. You were feeling…content.

You practically smiled to yourself as Jaskier reapplied bandages to your wounds. He had found supplies in the camp and immediately offered to help you, despite the fact that you could very easily do it yourself. But still, you let him.

His hands worked carefully as he wrapped the wound on your leg. It was looking better than when you had first got it, which was a plus. But right now, you were focused on his fingers, on the way they moved so particularly, almost like he was playing his lute. It was like every movement of his was calculated and purposeful, and the slight grazes of his fingertips on your skin felt that way as well. You had to practically pray to the gods that he didn’t notice the flustered expression on your face that you so desperately tried to conceal.

“There,” he said, finally tying the bandage so it didn’t undo the work he did. “That should hold for a while longer.”

You blinked and rolled down your pants, slightly disoriented now that he wasn’t as close to you anymore, “Right. Thanks.”

As soon as Jaskier’s touch wasn’t on your skin, your mind flooded with thoughts you were trying to push away. Your mind first went to Hotch. He was a disgusting man, willing to do anything for revenge — even killing his own wife. He would have hurt a little girl at the chance of getting back at the man who seduced his lover; even though you knew he was crazy, you couldn’t help but connect his actions with your own. Despite hating him for what he did — and might have done if you hadn’t killed him — at one point, you did the same. Your whole life you were raised to hurt those who hurt others, in hope that it would fill the hole that was left after your father murdered your mother.

And then you met Jaskier. But honestly, that didn’t change anything. If anything, it made it worse. You would do anything for Jaskier, and had done anything for him. You killed Joneta. It seemed like so long ago that you had…ended her life, but it was only the other day. And you wouldn’t stop there. You would do anything for Jaskier, to get back at those who wronged him. So how did that make you any different from monsters like Hotch?

“What are you thinking about?” Jaskier’s voice broke your thoughts, making you turn to him. As usual, his eyes bore into your own with an intensity that you still weren’t used to. Maybe you wouldn’t have told him if he wasn’t looking at you that way. But of course, you did.

You let out a small breath, “Hotch.”

“What about him?”

You shifted in your spot, keeping your eyes just to the side of Jaskier’s face.“He was…blinded by his rage. His rage for you.” You met his gaze again, a new hardness to your stare, “He wanted revenge.”

Jaskier’s frown turned into soft expression as realization took over, “Y/N—“

You cut him off, “After my mother died, and my uncle taught me everything I know…I did anything for justice. For revenge.”

“But you’re not like him.”

“Why not?” Your eyes stung with tears, but you blinked them away. “I’m an assassin, Jaskier. I kill people.”

“I know that—“

“No, you don’t. I kill people and I enjoy killing people. If I hadn’t known you were innocent, I would have enjoyed killing you too.”

Jaskier faltered, his eyes alleviating as he looked back at you, “But you didn’t. And that’s what makes you different.” He tentatively placed a hand on your knee, watching your face to make sure you were okay with it. When you didn’t flinch, he spoke again, “I know what you’re capable of Y/N.”

And it doesn’t bother me. He didn’t say it with words, but as his eyes searched your own it was clearer than anything he could have said.

Jaskier looked at you like he was about to say something else, but before he could, Geralt’s footsteps emerged from wherever he had previously been in the camp.

“We should probably leave here soon. We don’t know if there are more bandits, and we don’t want to be here to find out.”

It was then that realization struck you. You had to warn Rauf about everything that had happened. Though it was only a couple of days, so much had been revealed to you, to all of you, and Rauf knew nothing about it. He had to be wondering where you were, what was taking so long — but once you told him everything you knew, he’d understand.

You hoped.

“I have to go,” you said suddenly, pushing yourself off the log you had been sitting on.

Jaskier immediately reached towards you, “You have to—hold on, now.” He grabbed your wrist before you could limp away, “Go where?”

“To talk to Rauf. I have to warn him. About everything.” You shifted to face the bard, “I mean, who knows how many other innocent people are being targeted for no good reason.”

Jaskier nodded and stood beside you, “Great. Yes, okay. Then let’s go.”

You stopped, gently taking your wrist from his grasp, “No.”

“No?”

“I have to go alone. You can’t show your face, at least not until I clear everything up.”

“You can’t go alone.” To your surprise, it was Geralt who spoke this time.

You crossed your arms over your chest, “Why not?

Jaskier spoke, cutting Geralt off, “We just…don’t think that’s a good idea.”

You gritted your teeth, “Why not?”

“Maybe we should plan it out first?”

“What is there to plan out?”

The silence that followed was not actually silence. There was an unspoken conversation that hung in the air as Jaskier and Geralt shared a look, one that you were quite determined to bring to light.

You glared at the two of them until Geralt finally spoke.

“Your guild leader isn’t who he says he is.”

You frowned at Geralt’s words, swallowing a lump in your throat as your stomach dropped, “And how would you know that?”

Geralt hesitated before responding, “I followed you to your guild.”

It wasn’t news to you. But his matter-of-fact tone made you feel ten times more defensive.

“And?”

“I went back there after you returned the first time. When you and Jaskier were waiting in the Nowhere Inn.”

You frowned, searching your memory. You guessed he was talking about when you first noticed Joneta lurking around the inn, when Geralt was nowhere to be found.

Geralt continued, “I wanted to see if he was actually checking on the client, like you said he would.”

“How did you know who he was?”

“He stood tall, unafraid. Unlike you, he didn’t slink around when he walked. He didn’t care about being careful.” Geralt relented, “And, he was the only one who came out of the guild without the cloaks like yours.”

Your eyes narrowed, “So you guessed.”

“Was it not accurate?”

You took a sharp breath in through your nose — from his description, it was definitely Rauf he was talking about. No one else from the guild had the same…aura as your uncle, and even if they did, they would have been wearing some sort of cover so no one could see their face.

You nodded your head, still feeling stiff with indignation, “So you followed him. And…?”

“He didn’t come here.”

You frowned, “So? They could have met at another place. It’s not unusual.”

Geralt only quirked a brow, as if to say, do you really believe that?

“He could have been set up as well.” You huffed in frustration, “There’s no way to know for sure until I confront him.”

“And what if it does go wrong?” Geralt crossed his arms over his chest, “Are you going to fight your way out?”

You gritted your teeth, anger seeping through you at Geralt’s patronizing tone, “Yes.”

Jaskier scoffed beside you, “Right, because it’s not like your leg is horribly injured and you can barely walk on it — much less take out a whole guild of assassins.”

It was an understatement to say you were shocked at Jaskier’s bluntness. The frown on his face was enough to make you step back — not from fear, but from surprise. You blinked as he softened his expression, reaching a hand out towards you in comfort. But you shifted away from his touch.

Jaskier spoke again, choosing his words carefully, “We just…need to be cautious, is all.”

“Fine,” you practically spat, turning away from the bard. “But we do this my way. And if you don’t do what I tell you, I’ll knock you out myself.”

Neither of the men responded to you as you limped back towards the horses and out of the camp.

—

The ride back to Novigrad was quiet. At first you had been fuming from what was said — how dare they assume Rauf was guilty when they didn’t even know him? Sure, you had your suspicions, but when they did, it felt like a direct attack. You knew you were wrong to have been so mad at them, but by the time you had gotten close to Novigrad, your previous frustration was taken over by a new anxiety.

What if they were right. What if Rauf never checked the payer — or what if he did, and he didn’t care? Where would that leave you? Where would that leave him?

Once you were at yet another tavern in Novigrad, you slid off the horse without Jaskier’s help; but once your feet landed on the ground, you kept your hands on the horse in front of you.

“Are you sure you’re okay to do this?” Jaskier said once he landed beside you.

You snorted, “Don’t think I can?”

“Of course I do.”

You fought the urge to look at his infamous eyes, instead focusing on Buttercup’s fur under your fingers. For some reason, looking at Jaskier made your stomach twist in a different way — it was like a new fear, a fear of something happening to him. You had felt it before, especially when you faced Joneta. But now, it felt different. Stronger. Like because now that you knew there was something deeper in your relation to him, losing him gained a thousand times more weight.

Before, you had wanted justice for Jaskier. You wanted him to be able to walk the streets again and perform without worrying about someone trying to kill him. Even though you barely knew him, and his personality was not something you thought you could ever miss, you didn’t want him dead.

But now, not wanting him dead had turned into needing him alive. If he died…you couldn’t even think about what it would do to you. And that…that was scary.

“We’ll be fine,” you said, the words surprising both you and Jaskier. You looked back at him, your eyes trailing to his lips, which were slightly ajar. He placed his hand beside your own on the side of Buttercup’s stomach.

His eyes stayed on yours, “Of course.” He smiled, the playfulness in his tone not meeting the fear in his eyes, “All you have to do is…not die.”

You huffed out a laugh, despite the constricting in your chest, “I would never.”

The smile on your face fell almost immediately, but instead of turn away from Jaskier, you placed your hand over his.

The look he gave you made your stomach flop, but you kept his gaze. “I’m going to fix this.”

After a moment, he sent you a small smile. “I know.”

—

The torches outside of the new fellowship gates flickered in the darkness as you lifted a fist to knock on the raggedy wood.

The small eye hole slid open, revealing a predictably gruff face.

“I’m here for the fellowship,” you stated, ignoring the nerves bundled in your stomach.

To your surprise, the face in the eye hole broke into a smile. Almost hastily, the man slammed the small door shut and eagerly opened the gates for you.

His smile was just as wide when he grabbed you in a bone crushing hug, “Y/N, how are ya?”

“Terrific,” you mumbled into his shoulder, praying to the gods that he would let you go before you stabbed him right then and there.

Thankfully for him, he did. His smile was smaller, but still present. “Remember me?”

You hesitated, but nodded, “You’re the same guy who let me in last time. Uh…”

“Androu.”

“Right. Androu. Cool.” Talk about a new recruit, you mused as he watched you step forward, only to hold an arm out in front of you.

“Ah, not so fast. Gotta leave your weapons at the front. New rule.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, but you frowned at your own nerves. It won’t have to come to that anyway, you thought, but your gut was telling you otherwise.

You huffed at the new guard and started removing your knives from their sheaths despite your inner protest. One hour and Geralt and Jaskier will come in. That would give enough time to talk to Rauf and figure things out before it got too crazy. If it got too crazy.

At the last second, you decided to leave one knife in your boot hidden. What they didn’t know, they couldn’t find.

After the guard — er, Androu — secured your weapons, you decided to test the waters of his overt friendliness, “And what idiot made this weapon stripping rule?”

“Me.” The two of you snapped your heads to the side, where Rauf was standing with a charming smile.

You looked at him, your spine stiff. It hadn’t been too long since the last time you saw him, but somehow, now, he looked…foreign. More confident than you’d ever seen him, which was saying something.

Still, you snorted a laugh, “You’ve lost your touch, uncle.”

“That’s not what the brothel women told me last night.”

The guards around him laughed hesitantly, making you roll your eyes. Even though his presence made you a bit uneasy (and apparently the guards as well), you couldn’t help but shake your head at his humor. Maybe he hasn’t changed that much. Maybe it’s just…paranoia.

His infamous smile lay comfortably on his face. “Care to join me in my office?”

You nodded and followed after him, quirking a brow at the two guards that followed behind you.

“You have guards now?”

Rauf chuckled, “The guild is growing, Y/N. We’re not a small fellowship anymore. And with more people, there is more potential for…threats.” He looked at you from the corner of his eye, “You understand that, don’t you?”

You simply nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. You couldn’t wait for this to be over. And whatever this was, you couldn’t say.

Surprisingly, when you got to Rauf’s office, the guards waited outside. You almost expected them to stand on either side of Rauf at all times, like he was royalty or something. But that relief was soon extinguished when the door was closed behind you and you were left with just your uncle. You felt like you were getting ready to be lectured, even though he was the one who needed to be informed.

“Are you here to tell me good news?” Rauf sauntered deeper into the room, his eyes twinkling with a certain mischief that used to comfort you.

“Afraid not,” you said, watching as he leaned his hands on his desk. You opened your mouth to continue, but found yourself at a loss for words. How were you going to explain everything to him? Where would you start? What would make him actually believe you?

And why were you doubting him so much?

But before you could speak, Rauf sighed. “Joneta went to claim your target. Never came back. Do you know anything about that?”

You clenched your jaw, nearly drawing blood as you bit your tongue. You didn’t expect her name to come up so early in the conversation. You had hoped you could bring up what happened with her after he understood why you didn’t kill Jaskier, why you couldn’t. And why that meant you had to kill Joneta. But right now, looking in his disappointed eyes, you knew it wasn’t the time.

So, you lied.

“No.”

Rauf clicked his tongue, “But, I’m assuming you do know that your target is still out there.”

You shifted in your spot, trying to cease the fire that had begun spreading across your skin. “I know it’s not him.”

“And let me guess. You decided this on a gut feeling?”

“No.” Your outburst startled you; it was something you hadn’t done since you were young. But this tone Rauf was using with you — that reminded you of your childhood. He was treating you like an insubordinate child, like a rebel without a cause. Despite the anger filling your veins, you tried to remain calm.

After a moment, you cleared your throat, “I found the payer—“

“You found the payer?” His own anger surprised you, but you stood your ground. “And how did you manage that?“

You involuntarily shifted your gaze down to his desk of still unorganized papers. His eyes followed your own before he let out a scoff of disbelief, “You disobeyed a superior based on a gut feeling—“

“And I was right—“

“But you knew what you did was wrong, because you went behind my back to do it.”

You clamped your mouth shut. The feeling of shame twisted in your gut as Rauf looked at you and tilted his head.

“Is that not true?”

You spoke through gritted teeth, “Yes.”

You held his angry gaze before he let out a sigh and turned away. You released a breath, composing yourself before he turned back around.

“How many times in the last few times we’ve met have I had to ask you to trust me?” You opened your mouth to speak, but he held a hand up to stop you. “Rhetorical question.”

“I wasn’t going to answer that.” You spoke despite the glare he sent you. “I was going to say that this isn’t about not trusting you. It’s about trusting myself.”

“Y/N—“

“I followed all of your lessons. Your rules. I heard them in my head, being relayed to me over and over again as I made these…decisions. But still, my…gut—“ Rauf rolled his eyes, but you continued, “My gut was always right.”

Rauf considered you for a moment. You thought you could see was a flicker of sympathy in his eyes.

But you were wrong.

“Did your gut tell you to kill Joneta?”

You froze, any hope of getting through to him dissipating and being replaced with…guilt. Your breath was caught in your throat, making you unable to form words.

“Now, that was not a rhetorical question.”

Rauf’s smile made you sick to your stomach. You turned your eyes away from him, unable to keep yourself together as your eyes teared up.

“I know you mean well, Y/N. I do. But you need to know that you can’t just go around breaking rules because it’s what you think is right.” By then, he had made it over to you and placed his hand on your shoulder. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. “You’ve been different lately.”

So have you, you thought, but before you could say anything, the door behind you slammed open.

You and Rauf turned to see it was the two guards.“Sir, we found one of the targets lurking around the guild. Some of the new recruits were roughing him up before we brought him in.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You specifically told Geralt to come after an hour, and to leave Jaskier behind. It couldn’t be one of them, could it?

Rauf seemed to be thinking the same thing, as his eyes were glued to you. “Is he dead?”

“No sir. We stopped them before it got too bad. We thought it best to bring him to you to figure out how to deal with it.”

“That’s good, that’s good. Though maybe it would have been better to just kill him there.” You watched as Rauf’s face scrunched in contemplation. Then, he shook his head, “No, no. You were right. Bring him here.”

To say you were holding your breath was an understatement. You and Rauf stood in silence as the sound of grunts echoed from the hallway, nearing closer and closer by the second.

You didn’t want any of this to be real. It didn’t feel real; Rauf treating you this way, the guild becoming something it never was — everything was falling apart, and you couldn’t seem to catch your breath. For once, you felt completely out of control.

As the footsteps got nearer, you silently wished they had left the door open so the suspense couldn’t give you the heart attack it already was. At the same time, you didn’t want to see who the target they had found was. Though, deep down, you already knew.

Finally, the door swung open.

Rauf clapped his hands together, “Well, well. Look who it is.”

One guard held each of his arms as they dragged him into the room.

You almost didn’t recognize him with all the blood. From what you could see, his face was covered in bruises that had already begun to form, blood was soaking into his shirt — whether it was his or the assassins’, you couldn’t tell. His feet were dragging on the floor as the guards brought him in, his head hung over his chest. But despite his injuries, you could hear the low wheezing of labored breathing — he was alive, which was something.

But it wasn’t enough. You clenched your fists, digging your nails into your palms as Rauf walked over and lifted his bloodied chin.

“The famous Jaskier. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

———————————————————————————————————

Sorry for the cliffhanger…but also not >:) let me know your thoughts!

61 notes · View notes

shima-draws · 5 years ago

Note

Remember that one episode in Gravity Falls where Stan loses a bet to Mabel and does that stan-wrong-dance?? Can you write a drabble where Ford finds the footage pls the imagery is so freaking funny lmao

[[Send me a fandom/ship/prompt and I’ll write a drabble for it!]]

I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I FINALLY FINISHED…I had a total blast writing it tho!!

I kinda took your prompt and went way beyond the original concept anjsakbnda so there’s some angst in here because Stan’s a self-sacrificial idiot and Ford almost loses his shit, but I hope you like it nonetheless :’)

Also this ended up being nearly 4k words so. Yeah. That’s why it took so long LOL but hopefully you got more than what you asked for!

This is also on Archive, if you’d rather read it there!

——————————————————–

Ford is absolutely furious.

Now, he’s no stranger to anger, having fallen victim to it many, many times throughout his life. His bouts of rage usually result in catastrophe if he isn’t careful. A prime example: letting Stan get kicked out of the house forty years ago. Or, when his irritation caused a fight between them that ended up in Stan’s permanently scarred shoulder and his own thirty year trip into the multiverse. It’s never simple and it usually doesn’t end well, especially if Stan happens to be on the other side of the argument.

This time, however, is a bit different.

It’s one thing if his brother has done something to piss him off. It’s another if Stanley does something so unbelievably stupid it scares the absolute shit out of Ford. He doesn’t like being angry. He doesn’t like being angry as a result of him being terrified even more.

And so, he’s taken to pacing in his study, trying to let off some steam. He’d separated himself from Stan after lecturing at him for twenty-five minutes about the very many reasons why Stan shouldn’t have charged right into battle against a particularly violent group of bullasps (an enormous wasp-bull anomaly hybrid, helpfully named by Mabel). Stan had come this close to being pierced by one of their enormous stingers—and if he had, well. The venom they secrete works so quickly Ford doubts he would have been able to do anything about it in time. And that is what had triggered his hysteria.

Mabel sits on one of the oversized chairs in the room, munching on a bag of popcorn. She’d followed him after his frustration had shot through the ceiling, needing to get away before he said anything he’d come to regret. Dipper had stayed behind to admonish Stan further, but not as harshly as Ford originally had.

It’s been almost a year since Ford and Stan left Gravity Falls to travel the world together. They’ve had plenty of arguments and heated late night discussions on board the Stan O’ War II, but they’d never escalated to this level. The two of them hashed out all of their past history and mistakes, and they’ve been attached at the hip ever since—but Stanley’s always had a bit of a reckless steak, and Ford will never admit it, but he’s unbelievably overprotective of his twin, especially after the whole shooting-him-with-a-memory-gun thing. (They try not to talk about that, much, mostly because it makes Ford feel so guilty it brings him to tears, and Stan hates seeing him like that.) This sort of takes the cake for every previous situation where Stan has willingly put himself in danger on their journey out at sea. Ford can’t remember the last time he’s felt so high strung.

“I just can’t believe him,” Ford hisses, his fingers tangled in his hair. His heart is still pounding, fear spiking through his veins and making him as taught as a bowstring. “Out of all the reckless, most monumentally moronic—”

“I know you’re upset, Grunkle Ford, but we took care of it!” Mabel points out, trying to be helpful. She does sound worried, though, if her expression has anything to say about it. “Those things ran right off after I used that cannon to shoot that t-shirt into the woods! Who knew bullasps are actually attracted to red things? I thought regular bulls hated the color red!”

Ford can’t help but smile a bit at her observation. “Actually, regular bulls are red-green colorblind, Mabel. It’s not that they particularly dislike the color red, it’s the action of a matador moving their cape that stimulates hyper aggression in—wait, wait, that’s not the point!” He heaves out a sigh. He turns to her and frowns. “Do you—do you even know why I’m so furious with Stanley right now?”

Mabel makes a funny sound with her mouth, her legs kicking back and forth, and then she answers. “‘Cause he shook his butt at them and told them to shove it where the sun don’t shine?”

Ford groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. Could Stan have any less tact? The children are almost 14 now, but still.

“That’s part of it,” he grumbles. “But it’s his insistence on constantly throwing himself headlong into danger before even considering the consequences of doing so. Stanley is—he’s ridiculously defensive of his family, which isn’t a bad quality to have at all, but…it gets him into unnecessary trouble. A lot.”

Mabel looks truly concerned now, which is good. “Is that why you looked like Dipper in the middle of a Wendy crisis when Grunkle Stan almost got hit by one of those super giant sharp and pointy stingers?”

Ford considers telling her that the venom would have killed Stanley in minutes, but then decides he should probably spare her those morbid details.

“Yes. It would have been…very catastrophic if he’d actually come into contact with one.” Ford slumps, suddenly feeling exhausted. “I’ve come this close to losing him once, I…the mere thought of possibly losing him again, and him ending up somewhere I couldn’t ever possibly reach…”

His throat tightens and he feels pressure building behind his eyelids. Emotion makes his heart feel like it’s being constricted, squeezed tight, and he swallows. He’d gone half his life without his brother and he regrets every single minute he didn’t spend by Stanley’s side. Almost losing him to Bill was a huge wake up call, and Ford’s barely been without him since then.

“So that’s why you’re so frowny,” Mabel chirps. Ford can’t tell if she’s totally oblivious to the seriousness of the situation or if she’s just trying to act upbeat for his sake—but he appreciates it either way. “You were pretty scared for him, huh, Grunkle Ford?”

Ford wipes his eyes and nods wordlessly. In the past he might have brushed her off but he knows better now—his family is the most important thing he has, and confiding in them when times are difficult is usually the best course of action.

The young teen hums thoughtfully, scratching her chin, and then her eyes practically light up.

“Wait, hold on! I have an idea,” she says excitedly. Her smile turns wicked. Oh, no. Ford knows that look. He’s been on the receiving end of it many times before.

“Grunkle Ford, have you seen the Stan Wrong Song?”

Ford tilts his head. “The…what?”

Mabel giggles insanely. “The Stan Wrong Song! It’s a song we forced Grunkle Stan to sing after he lost a bet to me.”

“Stanley lost a bet.”

“Uh-huh!”

“To you.” If Ford didn’t know her so well, he’d think she was lying. It’s extremely hard to believe, knowing how brilliant his twin is in the conning department.

Her grin becomes wider, if that’s even possible. Her braces glint in the dim light. “We bet to see who could make more money—me, taking over Grunkle Stan’s position as a morally ambiguous tour guide, or him on vacation. And I won the bet by a dollar! A dollar, Grunkle Ford!”

“Incredible,” Ford breathes, shaking his head.

“We made him sing it at least thirty-six times,” his nibling tells him. She really could give Stan a run for his money with how mischievous she is.

“Or, wait, maybe it was thirty-eight? Anyway, it was a whole lot! We were all singing it for weeks. The power of catchy made up songs prevailed! Grunkle Stan says he hates it, but I hear him singing it in the bathroom sometimes when he thinks I can’t hear him!”

The older man chuckles at that, amused.

“Anyway,” Mabel sing-songs. “Since Grunkle Stan was a dumb-dumb and almost got speared today and scared the bejeebers out of all of us, I think this is a good opportunity to bust that video out and give him a good ol’ dose of shame!”

“You truly are a peculiar girl, Mabel,” Ford says in wonder.

The brunette beams at this, her smile almost blinding.

“Come on,” she says, grabbing his wrist. Her grip is surprisingly strong, and so is the way she tugs him along with her. “It’s payback time! Revenge tastes sweet, like gummy worms!”

——————————————————–

Ten minutes later they’re seated together in the living room, prepared for the show. Mabel has already plugged her phone into the TV, which can broadcast anything she wants, thanks to a helpful little device Fiddleford had made for the family a while back. (It definitely helped when Ford wanted to show off all the videos he’d taken while he and Stan were out at sea on a larger screen for the whole family to watch.)

Stan is nowhere to be seen—which Ford supposes is a good sign as any. He’d rather not have Stan confiscate Mabel’s phone before Ford even gets to watch whatever the young girl is intent on showing him. Dipper’s probably still keeping watch over Stan, so that’s reassuring. He’s sure that there’s nobody more capable of watching his twin, except maybe Soos.

Mabel is practically vibrating in her seat, posture tense with excitement, and Ford fidgets. He’s honestly not sure what to expect—but when the video finally loads and the first thing he sees is Stan in a neon orange track suit covered with sparkles, Ford blinks in shock. He definitely didn’t expect that.

His twin looks like he’d rather be chased by a horrendous monster of the deep than perform in front of the camera, and the deadpan expression on his face has Ford releasing an amused snort.

Stan glances offscreen, gruff and irritated. “Ugh, l-look, I’m not gonna—”

Mabel’s voice interjects before he can finish protesting. “Do it!”

Stan begins to bounce as a song plays in the background. He looks so goofy doing it that Ford starts to giggle a little, the stress of the day rolling off his shoulders.

“I’m Stan and I was wrong.” Stan sings, dryly, with all the emotion of a desert cactus. “I’m singing the Stan Wrong Song.”

Something in Ford breaks, then—and he’s laughing, incredulously, sort of struck dumb by the whole situation. Mabel sniggers beside him. Stan starts to swing his arms, and Ford wheezes. His brother looks so foolish. Ford is absolutely reveling in it. (He’s so using this for blackmail material later.)

“I shouldn’t have taken that chance. Now here’s my remorseful dance,” Stan finishes, pouty and clearly embarrassed.

“Do the kicks!” Mabel’s voice calls out again, and Stan makes a feeble attempt at performing a kick, to which she demands them to be “Jazzier!”

It’s when Gompers comes in and starts a tug of war match with Stan that’s one for the history books that Ford loses it completely. The entire thing is just so wild and hysterical that he can’t help it, clutching at his side as he laughs and laughs and laughs. The video resets, going back to the beginning, and Ford happily sits through it again.

By the time the video loops for the fifth round Ford is howling with laughter, nearly bowled over by the force of it. His side has a stitch and it hurts and he’s pretty sure he’s crying but he can’t stop, too overwhelmed at the hilarity of his brother in a sparkly suit singing a song clearly meant to humiliate him—and maybe it’s the fact that Stan had had another close brush with death earlier and the built up tension from the incident that has him letting it all out through his chortles. Mabel is giggling madly beside him—whether she’s laughing at Stan or laughing at him laughing at Stan is unclear, but it’s contagious, and Ford can’t stop smiling.

God, how utterly ridiculous this all is. He loves his family.

The video is on its eighth loop and Ford is pretty sure he’s going to pass out from lack of oxygen when Stan bursts into the room, his eyes wide. Dipper follows close behind.

“What’s going on in—Ford?!”

Stan rushes over to him, his face drawn up in concern, and Ford’s heart melts a little. He might still be angry at his twin for scaring him half to death, but really, Stan’s mother hen tendencies never fail to make him smile.

“Ford—Jesus, you’re cryin’, Sixer! What the hell happened?”

Ford giggles and wipes the tears from his eyes, struggling to get his breathing back under control. “I’m—ahaha! I’m fine, Stanley.”

“With all the noise you were making, I thought you were dying,” Stan says with a worried frown. “It sounded like you were in pain or—”

Ford playfully rolls his eyes and nudges him in the shin with his foot.

“Now you know how I feel.”

Once he finally settles down, and when Mabel’s tittering fades, Stan finally registers the video playing behind him. His face immediately goes ash white, his expression quickly morphing into one of utter horror, and if Ford weren’t so wiped out by nearly laughing his ass into unconsciousness he’d probably start doing it again.

Dipper sees what they’re watching and he snorts, covering his mouth to hide any further giggles from coming out.

"Mabel, pumpkin?”

Mabel is the picture of pure innocence, her smile sickly sweet. “Yes, Grunkle Stan?”

“Either I’m having memory issues again or I swear I made you promise me in confidence that you would never ever show this video to Ford,” Stan says, slowly. His grin is wide and almost terrifying. If Ford didn’t know how much Stan loves Mabel he would have thought his twin was seriously considering strangling her. “And what did you do?”

“I showed the video to Ford,” Mabel says, looking shameful. She twirls a piece of long brown hair around her finger. Ford chokes back a bark of laughter at how well she’s pulling this off.

“Don’t be too hard on her, Stan,” Ford soothes in an attempt to curb his brother’s embarrassment. “She was only trying to help.”

Stan simply pouts, and suddenly all Ford can see is a young boy, cheeks bright red from the sun, childishly complaining about having to wear glasses because he thinks it’ll make him look like a nerd. Something warm blooms inside Ford’s chest and he bites his cheek, trying not to get lost in the memory of their childhood.

“How is this helping anything,” Stan mumbles, his cheeks flushing a charming shade of pink.

“It’s teaching you some humility,” Ford states, crossing his arms. “Maybe you should sing it again, Stanley.”

“What?!” His twin barks in outrage.

“He does have a point, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper provides helpfully from where he’s now lounging on the couch with Mabel. The video continues to loop, much to Stan’s chagrin. “You did do something wrong today.”

“Wh—are you still on about that? My god,” Stan groans, throwing his head back. “I was trying to be, ya know, heroic! Live up to my title.”

Ford is tempted to kick him again, but harder. His glare makes the other man wilt slightly.

“You already live up to your title, Stan,” Ford points out. “You don’t have to throw yourself in front of a beast with a toxicity level of 94 percent to prove that.”

“94? Holy crow, that’s high,” Dipper squeaks.

“You’ve already saved the world and paid the price for it once,” Ford continues. He slumps a bit in his chair, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to him. “Please, Stan, you have to understand—there’s no point in trying to protect us if we lose you in the process. It’s just…just…” And he shakes his head, frustrated that he can’t put it into words properly.

“Okay, alright,” Stan says sheepishly, edging closer to where he’s sitting. “I get it. I didn’t mean to scare ya. It’s just habit for me to be self-sacrificial at this point.”

“That’s a terrible habit!” Mabel accuses.

“She’s right,” Ford mumbles. “If you hadn’t…if that stinger had come into contact, you would have…and then I…I…” He chokes up, his eyes watering. His heart clenches painfully, fear making his body feel like it’s encased in ice. “If I lost you…”

“Hey, easy there on the waterworks, Poindexter,” Stan teases lightly. He holds his hands out in a pacifying gesture. “I’m fine, see? Still in one piece. Mostly.”

“This isn’t funny, Stanley! How can you still refuse to comprehend—ugh!”

Ford is nearly tearing his hair out in frustration now, his teeth grinding together. Seriously, how can his brother still be such an idiot? He thought the lecturing and the clear distress the rest of the family is expressing would be enough to make Stan realize, but—

Stan folds his arms, huffing, and Ford notes that his face is coloring again. Mabel and Dipper gaze at him curiously, and before Ford can question his twin, Stan releases a soft, irritated noise from his throat.

“I’m Stan and I was wrong,” Stan mutters.

Ford blinks in shock.

The other man sighs, a deep-sounding one that slackens his posture. “I’m singing…the Stan Wrong Song.”

Mabel makes a high-pitched keen of excitement, and Dipper grins. Ford almost falls right out of his chair.

He isn’t sure what’s more surprising—Stan willingly putting his pride on the line, or begrudgingly singing about his mistake in front of the family, who he knows are more than capable of holding this against him.

“I shouldn’t have taken that chance…”

Stan edges closer until he’s standing over Ford, his cheeks the color of a ripe apple.

“I’m sorry, okay? Now will you please forgive me already?”

Something lodges itself in Ford’s throat, and his whole body feels as if it’s being flooded with warmth. Even after all this time, Stan still puts his want for Ford’s forgiveness over everything else. His heart glows.

“Stanley…”

“Don’t gimme that look,” Stan grumbles, refusing to meet his eyes.

The older twin beams and launches himself out of his chair, scooping his brother up in a hug.

“Wh—Ford?!”

Ford nuzzles happily into Stan’s hair, grinning wide.

“Thank you, Stanley.”

“What! You cannot leave me out of this family hug action!” Mabel cries, leaping off the couch to run over and throw her arms around her Grunkles’ legs.

“Squeeeeze!” She says, squeezing them tight. Ford laughs jubilantly and Stan rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile that refuses to go away on his face.

Mabel presses her nose into Stan’s leg for a moment, and then she looks over her shoulder at Dipper.

“Come on, Dippin Dots, you know you want in on this!”

Dipper rolls his eyes but slides off the couch nonetheless, coming over to circle them before ending up beside Ford in the group hug.

The young girl starts giggling, a happy, wonderful sound that makes Ford’s heart swell like a balloon. He feels all sorts of fuzzy, the euphoria of being with the people he loves the most—and with his twin, his other half, the person who almost gave his life for him today—making him burst into merry laughter as well. Soon enough Dipper joins them, and finally, Stan is roped into it, their laughter too contagious to ignore.

When they finally all calm down, Ford nudges his head against Stan’s temple. So maybe he’s feeling a bit clingy now, so what?

“Next time you do something like that again I will sneak horrifying body-altering concoctions into your coffee,” Ford tells him way too cheerfully for someone who’s threatening possible disfiguration.

“Yikes, Sixer. What sort of crap did you learn how to do on the other side of that portal?”

“I know how to disembody someone in a total of 103 unique ways,” Ford responds brightly while he rubs his cheek against Stan’s shoulder, hiding a grin into his shirt.

Much to his delight, Stan stiffens beneath him, and Ford almost laughs.

“Remind me not to get on your bad side,” Stan gruffs, patting him on the back. He pauses. “…Again.”

“Hey,” Dipper playfully elbows Stan. “Grunkle Stan, you didn’t finish.”

Mabel’s entire face lights up, and her smile is blinding—and devilish. “Oh, that’s right! You didn’t finish, Grunkle Stan! You have to commit to it all the way!”

Stan looks down at them, puzzled. He tries to squirm out of Ford’s hold but Ford just hums and hugs him tighter, his forehead pressing against the man’s shoulder.

Stan promptly gives up on getting free (because he knows from experience once Ford starts clinging it’s all over). Instead, he addresses the younger twins with an air of confusion.

“What are you gremlins going on about? Finish what?”

“Your song, silly!” Mabel chirps.

Dipper nods, his smirk matching his sister’s. “Yeah, you didn’t sing the entire thing. Or even do the dance! That was a pretty lackluster performance if you ask me.”

Stan’s face draws up in horror. “Oh, no.”

Ford leans back, but doesn’t detach himself from their interwoven limbs. Giving Stan another dose of shame, as Mabel put it, sounds thrilling right about now.

“You know, they do have a point,” he says, pretending to mull it over. He can’t stop grinning. “I’d love to see the most recent rendition of the Stan Wrong Song, from start to finish. Wouldn’t you, kids?”

“Abso-lutely!” Mabel almost screams. “I’ll have to go get my camera!”

Dipper nods, a hand on his chin. “Oh, yes, yes. Gotta have it.”

“You are the worst,” Stan hisses, his entire face matching the color of Ford’s sweater.

Ford laughs for the millionth time that day, his body feeling lighter than air.

——————————————————–

After that, they make him sing it a total of seven times before finally giving mercy. Stan swears he’s never going to do anything super dangerous again until he does two days later. Then the whole process repeats. LMAO

I can never get enough of Pines family fluff it makes me weak in the knees and oh so happy

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whatevshollandarchive · 5 years ago

Text

Peach Scone (T.H. x Reader)

Pairing: College!Tom Holland x Reader

Words: 5.9k

Warnings: Swearing, Cheating-esque events, Some angst, Mostly fluff

Summary: Tom finds himself falling for you the moment you begin as his co-worker, but then finds out about your relationship - and where it is heading - and has to try to keep his feelings out of the equation.

A/N: Hi, so I wrote this for @tominhoodies ‘ 900 challenge and I’m actually kinda proud of this. It took me a while to write it in a way that I wanted to but I was very inspired by the song prompt and the actual story behind the song. I didn’t follow the lyrics to a T, and I didn’t really set it up in a way that I’ve seen song prompt fics in, but hopefully, it’s enjoyable. I used lines from the song in two different parts, so if you know Peach Scone, you’ll probably catch those parts. Also, there are parts in here that I literally did not know how to write less confusingly so if you’re confused at certain parts, I probably was too lmao. P.S. There are so many italics in this and I have no idea why. I guess I was in an emphasizing mood.

Prompt: “Peach Scone” by Hobo Johnson

Masterlist

Summertime in Virginia was beautiful. It was always so warm and pretty around town, but instead of taking advantage of the nice weather and pleasant sites, Tom was spending his summer break in a pizza parlor. Not the ideal situation he thought he’d be in while out of college for the summer months. He wanted to go home and visit his family back in London, but rent spiked up again and he couldn’t afford to fly across the ocean, try to keep up with loans and tuition and pay rent every month. So, serving pizza was all he got.

It wasn’t terrible. He had time off and could do things. He didn’t always smell like pizza. but the part that made it the most sufferable for him was you, his favorite co-worker. You’d started working at the shop two weeks after summer started, and Tom, having been working there for two months at the time, was tasked with being your mentor of sorts. Which gave the two of you the same shifts all summer long, mostly just because the manager was lazy and didn’t want to change it around when it was already looking okay. So, because of that, the two of you became close. Too close. Lines became blurred for Tom after some time. He was immediately attracted to you, but he wasn’t sure where you stood with your feelings. It seemed like you liked him back and flirted with him, but Tom had come to find out that you were in a relationship. A very serious relationship, at that.

The sun was beginning to set as Tom drummed his fingers on his steering wheel as he drove to work for the evening. His thoughts were racing as he pulled into the parking lot and searched for a place to park. He noticed your Mini Cooper sitting in a lone area and saw your figure still inside, staring down at your phone. He sucked in a breath and boldly whipped into a spot next to yours. You’d glanced up and smiled when you saw that it was Tom, setting your phone on silent before getting out of your car.

By the time Tom had gotten out of his truck, You’d appeared on the other side of your Mini Cooper to greet and walk into the store with him to begin your shift. He smirked when he saw you.

“What a coincidence,” He said and you both fell into step beside each other as you crossed the parking lot. “Didn’t expect you to be here.”

You rolled your eyes and bumped his shoulder with yours before stepping up onto the sidewalk in front of the doors to the parlor.

“Very funny, Tom. You definitely take after your father, for sure.” Tom opened the glass door for you.

“I can hear the sarcasm in your voice and I think that it’s unnecessary, Y/N.”

You ignored him as the two of you walked behind the counter to drop your personal items into your designated cubbies. Three other workers who were just ending their shifts said hello to you and Tom, as they usually did, before explaining to you how things were going. Tom watched as another co-worker that shared the same shifts as him clocked in and then walked back into the kitchen to pick up where the previous cook left off.

It was a normal day so far, Tom reaching over your shoulder to clock in the second after you do so yourself. It would change though, as soon as Tom was given both the chance and confidence. He wanted to make things less ordinary and more “Hey, I like you a lot.” But he also knew about your boyfriend and didn’t wanna seem like he didn’t support you and your relationship. He just kinda wanted to let his feelings be known, so he didn’t have to hide behind the compliments that were seen as him being a good friend. He had a lot to think over before he actually said something, but he felt like tonight was the night.

It was empty this shift. No one wanted to have pizza, it seemed, but that was normal. This particular pizza shop did not have tons and tons of customers at this time of day, ever, which made it a breeze to work there. But there was generally someone out there who wanted pizza and came in. This day just wasn’t one of those days, you supposed, as you leaned forward on the counter, resting your head in your hands. Tom stood a few feet away, admiring how perfect you looked, with your hair spilling down your back and your painted nails tapping your cheek.

Tom forced himself to look away before you caught him staring. He shook the thought of spilling the beans about his feelings away. You had a boyfriend, why would he wanna mess with that? And besides, he wasn’t sure if he actually liked you, or if he just felt lonely because all his friends were in relationships and he was single. He wasn’t sure if he loved the thought of specifically being with you or just the thought of not being alone. He still had to think it over.

You sighed from where you stood and looked over at Tom, who was seemingly interested in whatever it said on his uniform’s hat. You dropped your hands and stood up straight.

“This is so boring.” You broke the silence and Tom smiled, looking up at you. You melted at the sight but immediately cursed yourself (and maybe Tom a little bit too) because you could not see him in that way. You had Luke, and it was going...okay with him. You didn’t wanna mess it up just because you worked with an attractive guy from England.

You watched as he placed his hat back on his head and nodded slightly.

“It’s a bit boring, yeah,” You tried to fight the smile growing on your face, but it didn’t work. “What do you think we should do?”

You glanced around at the empty tables, tapping your nails on the counter in front of you before shrugging.

“Just anything but this.” Tom looked back into the kitchen where the other person was napping. Then, he swiftly walked in and found the fresh batch of garlic knots that the previous workers said they’d made before they left.

“Hungry?” He asked, eyebrows raised, as he walked back to where you were standing in confusion. You laughed, nodding, and he slid the basket across the counter to you. You took one and carefully pulled it apart, putting some of it in your mouth. “How’s it going with Lucas?”

You scrunched your nose when Tom mentioned your boyfriend, and Tom gave you a knowing look. Something must’ve happened before you came into work, he could tell. You swallowed and pushed yourself up onto the counter, swinging your legs back and forth.

“He’s being a lame-o,” You rolled your eyes, recalling the argument over text you’d been having before Tom pulled into the parking spot beside yours. “Just some stupid stuff.”

Tom watched as you shook your head and pulled another piece off the garlic knot you had in your hands.

“You wanna talk about it?” You smiled softly.

“He was just...you know when you just have all these pent up things that you’re frustrated about and then someone can just do one little thing and it’ll set you off?” Tom nodded when you met his eye. “It was like that. We both just were not having it with each other today and it showed that it was more than the fact that he didn’t do the laundry when I asked him to and that I was ‘expecting too much of him.’”

“So, what do you think it is?” Tom leaned forward and took a garlic knot himself as you shrugged.

“I dunno. Sometimes he just bugs me to the point where I’m just so irritated with him, you know? I hate feeling like that.”

Tom didn’t know Luke well enough to have an actual opinion on him, but he could tell he wouldn’t really like him, just judging by the stories and conversations you talk about. Not all of them are ones where you’re hurt by your boyfriend, Tom’s heard general mishaps or funny situations and hated the approaches Luke took. But when you were hurt by him, it made Tom dislike the guy even more.

“Understandable. Did he apologize?” You gave Tom a look that said, ‘Seriously?’

“Of course not. We were still mid-argument when you pulled in beside me.”

“Have I ever told you how much I don’t like him?” He joked and you laughed.

“You just haven’t met him,” You explained, tossing the garlic knot back into the basket, not that hungry anymore. “Though, I’d suggest not doing so. He’s kind of addicting.”

You and Tom talked for hours until it was time to close up shop, having only one group come in during the night. Tom had been jumping back and forth between whether or not he should ask you to get coffee with him the next morning. But as you walked towards your cars, he figured he should just do it, and if you took it the wrong way, the weekend you two had off would shake off any awkwardness that would ensue.

As the two of you walked, you were talking about how you and your brother became obsessed with trying all the different Pop-Tart flavors growing up, swinging your keys around on your fingers while Tom studied your profile, smiling to himself. You both came to a stop when you got to the cars and you leaned against the bumper of yours as a comfortable silence emerged between the two of you. Tom was beginning to panic, wondering how he should bring up coffee to you and mentally yelling at himself for not practicing what to say.

You looked through your notifications on your phone and saw the latest text from Luke, groaning. Tom looked up at you.

“I need to get out of ‘talking everything out’ with Luke tomorrow morning. Can you help?” Perfect timing, Luke, thanks for being annoying right now.

“I was just about to ask about coffee and scones tomorrow. Is that alright?” You grinned and pulled the Holland boy in for a hug.

“Thank you so much,” You said, pulling away. Your phone beeped in your hand and you looked down. “9?”

You showed him the new notification on your lock screen of your boyfriend asking about 9 AM himself and Tom nodded.

“Sounds lovely.”

“Great. see ya then, Tommy.”

As Tom drove to his townhouse, he couldn’t help but smile. He’d done it, although you brought it up first and you were just using it as a way to get out of talking to your boyfriend, which, in retrospect, probably isn’t the best idea. But, Tom had asked you to get a cup of coffee with him and you’d said yes, and it was done and settled. It wasn’t a date, but beggars can’t be choosers. Tom would just have to suck it up and wish for the best. He looked back at nearly 10 minutes earlier and wondered why he was so nervous to just ask you to coffee in the first place. It’s not like he knew for sure that he liked you. He was still in the dark about if it was just that it seemed like everyone around him was in love while he was single, or if it was indeed how pretty and kind and clever you are.

After Tom walked into his rented home, he tossed his keys onto the counter and threw his hat down on the couch. His mind wandered off as he flung himself onto the couch next, thinking back on what you’d said about Luke. You had told him that Luke was “addicting.” Tom pursed his lips, remembering how the scene had played out. Maybe you didn’t want to be in that relationship anymore. Sometimes you certainly acted that way. He thought of you walking away from that fool, who had no clue that he was letting the best girl around slip right through his fingertips.

The next morning, Tom met you at a predetermined - more like frantically decided over text at 8:45 when you’d both remembered a specific place had not been said the night before - cafe, wearing a casual gray hoodie and some dark wash jeans with a gray baseball cap. You quickly pulled him in for a hug, thanking him once again for getting you out of having to be the first to apologize.

Tom chuckled, and said, “Anything for you, love” which had made your heart melt.

You had decided on the way to the coffee shop that this meetup for Saturday morning coffee was not cheating because guys and girls who are in relationships with other people can still go get some scones and some mochas and lattes and just talk. There was some flirtatious seeming banter between you and Tom often, you could admit that, but this was simply just a time to hang out with your co-worker outside of the usual greasy pizza place for once. Luke, if he were to ever find out, would understand, you were sure of it. For the most part, anyway. You were just sick and tired of listening to Luke’s shitty excuses and guilt-tripping. You were glad to be spending time with someone other than him outside of work. Luke was a handful sometimes and it got on your nerves.

The two of you got your coffee and scones and took a seat at one of the tables outside of the shop. You sighed after sitting down, leaning your head on one of your hands as you looked at him sitting across from you. he smiled before taking a sip of his coffee, he definitely wouldn’t mind if he got to see that across a table all the time. He set down his cup, and you both gave each other a look that everyone who was walking past would’ve described as lovingly.

It was quiet between the two of you, but a good quiet. It was comfortable, and it felt like you were both there to be with each other, no need for comments and conversations. Tom’s heart picked up as you reached across the table and took a piece of his scone to try. It was slow motion, he watched as you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear with your free hand, while moving to pop the part of his scone into your mouth. A smile fell onto his face as you leaned back in your seat, absolutely in love with the food that you just tasted.

“I love-” He didn’t even realize that the words were coming out of his mouth until he could stop himself. He started to panic before he pointed at the pastry in front of him. “...these scones.”

He nervously glanced up at you, and you were smiling, it going over your head that Tom had almost confessed his love for you while you were avoiding your boyfriend. You nodded in agreeance.

“Me too. I didn’t know they had them here.”

“The different flavors to choose from are amazing,” He went on, trying not to show his nervousness in his voice. “Blueberry is really good, and so’s the raspberry.”

“The peach one you got is delicious.” You giggled swiping another piece, but Tom didn’t mind.

“Did you see the pumpkin one? How do you even make a scone out of a pumpkin?” He laughed. “It’s basically a squash!”

“Mind-blowing, Holland.” You quipped, raising your eyebrows. Tom rolled his eyes.

“So, what’s the newest installment with my man Lucas?” You nudged his foot with your own.

“Stop saying his name like that. He’s not that bad.” You told him, lifting your cup to your lips.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Y/N.” You shook your head, grinning.

“Anyway,” He raised an eyebrow. “He’s just...ugh, I don’t know it’s like he makes me mad because it’s funny or something. I’m getting sick of it.”

Tom bit his lip, nodding. He watched as you just stole his entire scone this time.

“Maybe he’ll come around? Could be a phase.” A phase? He cursed himself for sounding like an old man. You shrugged, and Tom stood up straight in his seat.

“I think I’m gonna break up with him soon.” You sighed, staring at Tom’s scone.

“Really?” He tried not to sound too surprised or excited. You nodded.

“Yeah, if things don’t get better over the next few days,” He gave you an encouraging smile and you returned it, before leaning forward. “So, got any hot plans for tonight?”

A sea of witty, flirtatious remarks flew through Tom’s mind. All of which included a way to invite you out or just to his place. But he settled for a less direct and more playful response, without actually checking his schedule first.

“For once in my life, no.” You watched as he smirked.

“That is unbelievable,” You replied, mockingly. “You? With no plans on a Saturday night?”

“Leaves me more time to hang out with you.” You snickered.

“Well, what’re we gonna do, then?” Tom’s face lit up like he was a child on Christmas morning opening the gift they’d wanted for so long.

“We could stay at mine and watch some movies?”

“Fair enough,” you’d shrugged, smiling. Friends watched movies at other friends’ houses, right? What’s the harm in that? “Well, I gotta go deal with Luke. I don’t think I can hold off any longer without him breaking into my house or something. Text me your address?”

Tom watched as you stood up, smiling at him as you pushed in the metal chair you’d been sitting in. He found himself nodding enthusiastically.

“Yeah, yeah. Just come on over whenever.” He replied, picking up his coffee and taking a long sip as you took his scone in a napkin, lifting it up, silently asking if you could take the rest of it. He nodded, waving it off.

“Alrighty then,” You quickly leaned down and gave him a kiss on his cheek, surprising the both of you, before you whispered in his ear. “Thanks again.”

And then you walked off, leaving a blushing, brown-haired boy smiling widely to himself as he finishes his coffee.

You found yourself a few hours later, pulling up to a cute white townhouse. Things with Luke were not getting any better and you needed to get out of there before you pulled the plug on the relationship. Tom, of course, was there with open arms, allowing you to hide out at his place away from Luke. You smiled when you saw the front door open and Tom’s smiling face appeared as you got out of your Mini Cooper.

“Hey, I brought cookie dough. I figured we could bake cookies or something.” You called out as you walked up to his front porch. He nodded, grinning, which made you grin back.

“That sounds great!” He said as you stepped inside of his clean home, kicking off your shoes. You looked around at the place that Tom called home, taking in the decorations and furnishings as he lead you into the kitchen.

“Wow, I love your place. How’d you get so lucky in the market?” You laughed. “My apartment sucks and it was all I could find.” Tom rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly, as he looked around.

“My mom found it for me and my roommate when we were deciding on coming over here from London. She’s really good at finding deals and negotiating.”

“That’s so cool. My parents just sent me off saying ‘It’s adulthood. Get used to it.’”

Tom’s face scrunched up as he caught the cookie dough package you tossed at him.

“That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?” You smiled softly and shrugged, before pulling your hair up into a messy ponytail.

“It’s generally the attitude they’ve always had, you know? You get used to it before your turn 15 when it’s all that you grow up with.” He cast you a sympathetic look before reading the directions on the back of the cookie dough package, beginning to pull a cookie sheet from one of the cabinets.

“So,” Tom tore open the package, and you moved to his side, bumping his shoulder with yours as you both began to ball up pieces of the cookie dough. “How’d it go?”

You didn’t say anything for a moment as you carefully and strategically placed down your ball of cookie dough on the sheet, before grabbing another piece to roll into a ball.

“It was not going well,” You frowned, thinking back at the sharp words you and Luke had been saying to each other. “I think if I’d stayed any longer, it would’ve been over.” Tom nodded, glancing at you for a moment.

“Right, that’s understandable.”

You smiled softly at that, putting another piece on the cookie sheet.

“I think towards the end he knew it was gonna end with a breakup. Before I left to come here, he was trying to ‘fix’ things. But, it only made them worse.” You murmured the last part and fiddled with the cookie dough in your hands.

Tom looked back down at you, and his heart broke. You looked so sad, and lost, wondering how a seemingly fine relationship could be seen ending shortly.

“Hey,” He called out and your gaze lifted to meet his. “Feel free to stay over whenever you want. And for however long.”

A smile, slow but sweet, grew on your face.

“Thank you.”

Almost as soon as Tom pulled the freshly baked cookies out of the oven, his front door swung open, with his twin brothers and his roommate standing in the threshold of the home. You looked over at Tom, startled, wondering who these people were and why they just barged into Tom’s place.

“Hey, Tom! Did you miss us?” One of the boys said, with an English accent that matched Tom’s. He had about a million freckles dotted on his face. Tom’s face was scrunched up in confusion.

“Uh, yeah, I did,” Tom replied, sounding caught off-guard as he set the hot cookie sheet on some potholders you’d set out. “So, what are you guys doing here?”

The blond one threw his keys onto the counter in front of you frowned at Tom. And the curly haired one gave a look of disbelief, glancing at the others he walked in with.

“Tom. We’ve been planning this visit for a month.” He also had a British accent, so you only assumed the blond one did too. The realization hit Tom and he groaned.

“Oh my god. I’m sorry, guys,” You stood there, very confused. Tom turned to you, gesturing to the three boys in front of you. “Uh, Y/N, these are my brothers and my roommate.”

“I’m Sam!” The freckled one waved.

“Harry.” The curly-haired one said.

“And I’m Harrison. I’m the one who’s not related to these divs.”

You giggled and waved back.

“I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you all.” Tom bit his lip as you started a conversation with Harry and Sam. Harrison pulled him into the hallway out of your earshot.

“Uh, thanks for letting me know we’re having company,” Haz said, sarcastically. “I didn’t know coffee as “just friends” lasted seven hours.” Harrison knew all about Tom’s crush on you. It was practically all Tom talked about, going on and on about how he didn’t know his feelings about you, to which the blond always rolled his eyes. There definitely was feelings. And a lot of them.

Tom sighed and glanced around the corner to look at you. Harrison did the same. He had to admit, you were gorgeous. He could see why Tom liked you so much.

“I-well, she asked if I had plans and I told her no, and invited her over on impulse.”

Tom muttered, turning back to his best friend.

“Right. Well, what do you think is gonna happen when her boyfriend figures out she’s at your house?”

“They’re on the verge of breaking up. She even said so herself that she’s going to soon.”

“And?” Tom didn’t know what to say, and he figured it’d be best to not respond to Harrison, who continued after a moment. “You both thought baking cookies alone would be the best idea in the middle of her relationship ending?”

“Hey, it was her idea. I’m just trying to console her about all this.” Suddenly, the maroon wall in the darkness of the hallway was very interesting to Tom.

“Tom, this is going to be a mess.” Harrison told him.

“It’s all for her.”

Harrison looked at the oldest Holland’s face a moment longer, before shaking his head with a small smile on his lips. He playfully smacked Tom’s shoulder before leading the way back to the kitchen, where he and Tom didn’t seem to be missed all that much, as the conversation that you and the twins were in was very engaging for the three of you.

Tom began to transfer the cookies on the sheet to the cooling rack, smiling at your laughter.

“That must’ve been so much fun.” You giggled. Tom finished moving the cookies and focused on you. He still had a smile on his face as he watched you talk and laugh at his brothers’ stories.

“So, are you two dating?” Sam asked, and Tom’s head snapped to look at his younger sibling. Sam and Harry were both completely in the dark about all of this drama - if you’d even call it drama - so it wasn’t like Sam was trying to make Tom flustered. But, there Tom was, a blushing mess.

“Um, no,” Tom cleared his throat. “No. Y/N is in a relationship with someone who is-uh-not...me.” Harry furrowed his brow, nodding slowly. You smiled, embarrassed.

“Tom’s actually helping me figure out how to end that relationship since it isn’t, um, doing...so...well.” You trailed off, and the twins between you and Tom, confused. Harrison just shook his head as he yanked open the refrigerator door.

“Okay, well, I wish you the best in all that.” Harry smiled, and his twin nodded.

“Right, well, she and I were just gonna hang out and watch some movies tonight and-”

“Oh, we’re going out to a bar or two, so we won’t be in the way or anything,” Harrison spoke up, and everyone’s eyes looked to him as he shut the fridge door, a water bottle in hand. “What?”

“That’s cool. Fine with me.” Tom said, looking down at the countertop, wishing they would just leave now so it wouldn’t be so awkward.

“Well, if you wanna go with them, Tommy, you can. I can go hom-”

“No, it’s fine, I invited over to hang out.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t get to see your brothers that often, right?”

“It’s fine, they’ll be here all week.” You nodded.

“I’m sorry, but what’s the deal with this relationship? I need the juicy details.” You laughed at Sam and went into the whole story with Luke, and how Tom is always there when you need to vent to him at work, and all the stupid arguments.

“Good for you for dumping him. Or beginning to, anyway.” Harrison told you after you’d finished, glancing over at Tom for a moment, who just made brief eye contact. You smiled and let out a breath.

“He sounds awful. Kudos to you.” Sam added, and Harry held out his fist for a fist bump, which you cheerfully obliged to.

“Well, we should get going. We wanted to get something to eat before we left. You guys sure you don’t wanna join?” Harrison offered but you and Tom both shook your heads.

“We’re just gonna spend the night in.” And with that, the boys left the house, leaving you and Tom alone once again.

“Well, they’re pretty cool.” You giggled. You turned to Tom, a smile on your face.

“Yeah. a bit of a handful, but cool,” It became silent between the two of you before Tom started talking again. “Look, I’m sorry about this. It totally slipped my mind that they were coming by and-”

“It’s alright, Tom.”

“Okay,” he said. “What’s the movie for the night?”

Three and a half movies later, Harry, Sam, and Harrison walked into the house to find a movie paused on the screen and Tom emerging from the hallway, but you were not in sight.

“Did Y/N go home?” Harrison asked, hopeful Tom wouldn’t be getting himself into more trouble with this Luke guy, but Tom shook his head.

“She fell asleep, so I put her in my room.” Tom made his way to plop back down on the couch, turning off the tv, as his brothers and best friend sat down beside him.

“Where exactly will you be sleeping?” Harrison raised an eyebrow and Tom gestured to the couch.

“And what about us?”

“Yeah, there’s only two couches.” Tom frowned.

“Right. Well, I guess I’m gonna have to share a bed with Y/N…”

“Or you could wake her up and tell her to go home.” Harrison offered.

“No, no, no,” Tom replied and Harry shared a glance with Harrison. “I told her she can stay whenever she wants and however long she needs.”

“Oh, so you like her?” Sam asked, grinning.

“Wha-”

“So, that’s why you’re helping her with her relationship troubles. Not just because you’re that good of a person.” Harry shook his head, pretending to be disappointed.

“I’ve been telling him to stay out of it, but here we are.”

“Look, I don’t know if it’s actual feelings or if it’s because I’m just-”

“Tom. It is not because you’re single. It’s so obvious that you like her.”

“I honestly thought you guys were dating because you looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. That’s why I asked.” Sam told his brother.

“Well, we’re not.”

It was silent for a moment before Tom pushed himself up off the couch and went to his room, trying to figure out how tonight was going to work with the two of you in the same bed. But, after a half an hour of lying awake on top of the covers next to your sleeping figure, Tom decided to just sleep on the floor. That didn’t help his inability to fall asleep, but he figured it was better since you were still in a relationship with someone else.

A few days later, you and Tom were back at work, and this time, people showed up, much to your surprise.

Aside from the casual customers, there was a surprise visitor, and he was not there for pizza, despite entering a pizza parlor.

You were having a fine time, checking up on the few tables you had been serving. Things with Luke were still on halt since you’d been avoiding him like the plague since your coffee/movie night at Tom’s. Luke had indeed found out about you being there with him for the night. Or at least, he knew you were not home that night. Apparently, Luke had seen that you weren’t at home, because your car wasn’t at your usual parking space outside your apartment building, so he questioned you. But after that, you were ignoring him. You knew it would’ve been best to just end the relationship right then and there, but you were dumb and didn’t. So Tom was left to just telling you to do it because it would be best for you.

You asked your third and last table how things were going before heading back to the front counter where you were hoping you could ask Tom if he thought you could steal some lemonade without getting caught by your manager. But when you got there, you opened your mouth to talk, when something - or specifically, someone - over Tom’s shoulder caught your eye.

“What is it?” Tom asked, turning to find a tall, blond guy walking towards the shop and he looked back at you, confused.

“Oh no. Oh no.” You made a beeline for the kitchen, with Tom calling out behind you, not wanting to leave the counter since there would be a customer there soon.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“That’s Luke.” You hissed as you whipped around to watch what he was gonna do. Tom’s jaw dropped and he nodded, as his heartbeat picked up. He was nervous now and wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but before he knew it, the glass door to the parlor was yanked open and Tom was faced with Luke, the guy he’d been trashing for the past few weeks. He figured he should pretend like he didn’t know him like he was just another person who wanted some pizza.

“Hey, welcome to-”

“I’m looking for Y/N L/N. Is she here?” Tom paused for a moment.

“Oh, she’s busy, uh, working right now. But I can take a message?”

“Look, uh, Tom,” Luke said, squinting at Tom’s name tag for a second. “I just need to talk to her for one second.”

“Wait, are you Luke? Her boyfriend?” Tom asked, feeling a bit bold, but immediately regretting it. He nodded, confused.

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

“Well, Y/N has told me a lot about you. And you know, she’s like-she’s so nice. And she cares about me in a way that I don’t think anyone else has. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that before. She’s like..she’s like a peach...scone. A peach scone,” Luke gave Tom an impatient look, his arms crossed against his chest. “Yeah, and I love the thought of being with that girl. You are just so incredibly lucky to be with her and you’re throwing it all away by being so ridiculously stupid. And I really hope that she doesn’t get hurt because she’s way too good for you.”

“What are you trying to say?” Luke was upset now, even more so than before, and that’s when you appeared in the entryway to the kitchen. You heard everything that Tom had said and it made your heart melt, and it gave you butterflies in your stomach.

“He’s trying to say that I-I’m breaking up with you.” Tom looked at you over his shoulder, smiling softly.

“You’re kidding. You’re dumping me for this guy?”

“You know what? I am. Because I’d take him over you any day, Lucas.” Tom looked back at Luke, grinning.

“Will that be all today? Or do you need some ice to heal your beat-up ego? Because that would be 50 cents.”

With that, your ex-boyfriend hesitantly turned and left the shop, leaving you and Tom to celebrate your victory. You turned to the brunette after a moment.

“Did you really mean what you said?”

“‘Course, Y/N. I’ve felt that way for forever.”

A smile spread across your face as you turned to go hand a table their check.

“Wanna go for coffee tomorrow morning?” You called out and Tom nodded, chucking.

“As long as we get scones.”

-------

PSA: I do not own or claim to own anyone involved/written in this writing. It is purely fictional and I am purely writing fictional scenarios involving these people. I respect them and anyone who is associated with them, which includes family, friends, and partners - meaning I do not intend to ‘erase’ anyone in the parties mentioned previously or any others that aren’t included in said parties, and anyone’s privacy.

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autumnslance · 5 years ago

Note

Lmao I got three I'm particularly curious about for you on the character meme. Thancred, Lahabrea, Igeyorhm. XD Feel free to do as many or as few as you'd like of course!

You asked for it. We’ll start with That Damned Rogue. The Ascians will be below.

This of course got long, so behind a cut it goes:

Thancred

First impression: I started in Gridania and took like 2 years to finish ARR 2.0, was already spoiled on the possession angle (I spoiled myself, no big), and had just @erickgage‘s affectionate joking summary of Thancred being the guy who shows up 5 minutes late with Starbucks to all the early battles. So I didn’t really get to meet the guy ‘til the Waking Sands.

And honestly, he was stereotypical generic bland anime prettyboy competent guy. His 1.0/ARR model is…just sorta there. He was a flirt, also generic as heck. Really didn’t register too much, until I finished 2.0 finally and then went hard on the MSQ through the patches and into HW and StB 4.0, when I finally caught up to content.

Impression now: Godsdammit.

My first replay through the game was on PunchyCat, starting in Ul’dah, which meant I got to meet Thancred much earlier. I was immediately amused by his nickname for Nanamo, and Papashan’s assessment of the witty Archon. I was more into the lore, getting the first lorebook and reading the short stories on the main site, and playing through all at once instead of piecemeal over months/years made things make more sense. Thancred hits a lot of tropes I commonly like in a lot of characters, so he jumped up to being a favorite.

Gunbreaker suits him as a tank job (thank goodness he can stop trying to tank warmachina as a rogue, ffs Thancred), and tanking in general suits him when it comes to fighting for those he cares about.

I’m interested in the ShB story mentioning why he wears white in all his gear iterations; I’d previously made a post about his color choices and that aspect of character design, but having a lore explanation for his affinity for that color was interesting. I didn’t think his HW model suited him, honestly; way too rough mountain man hobo. His model in ShB is closer to his ARR model, but different enough, and imbued now with actual character, that he’s a bit more visually interesting and while still pretty typical handsome anime protagonist in appearance; his true personality just comes through a lot more.

I’m still forever mad about the unintentional character ‘ship with Aeryn, tho. It took a 3rd playthrough for it to happen.

For myself, mind, when I got into playing and learned his canonical age, it was at the time the same difference between myself and my younger brother. My assessment of the Scion “family” with Thancred being the middle child (esp his behavior pre-HW) maybe helps that. I’m getting to a point, really, where I look at the characters under 35 and think “OMG disaster children, all of you.”

Favorite moment: Oh goodness. There’s some good ones.

‘How was I supposed to know all my girlfriends would track me down and show up at HQ all at the same time: a master class in how to not to deal with multiple paramours by Archon T. Waters.’

His dramatic reappearance and duel with Ardbert in HW 3.1.

Taking out his frustrations by soloing the Coerthas cyclops boss so we can get on with the Tournament and fight Raubahn. (Side Bonus: pre-tournament when he jokes about fighting for the other team to even up the odds, and then: “It looks to be a veritable who’s who of the Eorzean Alliance. The only question is: who came to watch and who came to fight? Hmm…Nanamo. Definitely Nanamo.”)

Making sure Urianger knew he was still part of the team post-Soul Surrender climax.

“All right, which one of you triggered the obvious trap?” Also learning he can hold his breath for 10 freaking minutes–but still gets to be jealous of the WoL, Lyse, and Alisaie for their kojin blessing.

That dramatic teamwork with Urianger to knock Ran’jit down the pit in Rak’tika.

That frickin’ Trolley duty and it’s aftermath with the completed checklist of anime death markers and then just sitting there battered and bleeding and smiling and then giving Ryne a name and a headpat and “You’re family.” Bastard.

Idea for a story: Have you seen my Ao3 account? *grumbles*

Unpopular opinion: While he likely used drinking as a bad coping mechanism at times in ARR’s patches, I doubt he ever really went to blackout, as losing control to that extent, after having been controlled and probably losing a lot of time while possessed, would be awful. We see him drink a few times, but I don’t think he is/was an alcoholic.

I also agree with @ahlis-xiv that his flirtatious persona was mostly adopted. While he probably does have a healthy libido and enjoys time with paramours (that Urianger keeps a handy list of), there’s a lot that’s likely exaggerated, allowed to be assumed, and otherwise used as a cover, given his specializations. It’s also noteworthy how he’s mostly acting the same even after being lost in the wilderness, right up until our foray into the Antitower. The wit/humor gets toned down a lot, but the flirting is cut out entirely after that. He still charms some ladies in the First, based on incidental dialogue, but that seems a general reaction to him being a handsome hero type rather than any intentional flirtatious act on his part.

Favorite relationship: Thancred and little sister types. I do wish we’d seen more of his relationship with Minfilia outside of informed moments and the short stories. I feel like he has a semi-older-brother relationship with Lyse, too, given their antics in the 2.0 patches (particularly the “Hoary’s fighting the WoL, come watch!” and Thancred not even considering how one of his girlfriends would see him sending Lyse to retrieve an item until after and going “oh yeah, whoops”). And now there’s Ryne, and she is totally running things if you watch their background conversations/body language. But that’s kind of where Thancred likes it; find a girl who needs a protective older brother and do what she asks and whatever she needs.

I do have a special place in my heart for the expanded broship with Urianger that Shadowbringers gave us, though. I’ve already spoken on that one.

Favorite headcanon: Everything people assume about how he spoils the nutkin. And really, focusing on taking care of and doting on a pet would be good therapy. Goodness knows he needs it.

Also I assume he and Hilda hooked up at least once during the HW patches. Part of that expectation and cover, sure, to immediately flirt with the pretty, tough, half-elezen guard captain. But also, he spent however long mostly alone, and then only with the Vath and a nutkin for company; the guy was probably touch-starved and lonely and just needing a connection to another person he could relate to (that wasn’t a bug).

Otherwise, again, have you seen my Ao3? Ugh. Damned snarky smart rogues…

————

Lahabrea

First impression: Laughing Organization XIII-wannabe is obvious villain. Wonder what their deal is.

Impression now: So much lost/wasted potential thanks to being stuck as the ARR villain when it was so hastily rewritten and acted, and so little was decided on the Ascians and their motivations yet. A lot of what we learn now retroactively makes him more interesting. The fact he was a workaholic who looked at the workaholic Scion and went “ah yes; that one will do, perfect” makes me laugh.

Favorite moment: I like his interactions with Elidibus. And I am actually fairly fond of his theatrical reveal in Praetorium about the Ultima Weapon, the Heart of Sabik, and casting Ultima.

Idea for a story: Maybe stuff while he’s possessing Thancred. Maybe stuff between then and the Reactor. I dunno; I’ve been enjoying a lot of others’ stories about our first Ascian antagonist.

Unpopular opinion: Dunno if this is unpopular, but some of the retroactive information is to excuse why he seemed so much less powerful than other, later Ascians, but I do think the Speaker could be quite devious and powerful, if he had better writing around him. He suffers for being from ARR.

Favorite relationship: I am not ashamed to admit I am a Lahabrea/Igeyorhm shipper and Hades Ex seems to agree with me so there.

Favorite headcanon: The Speaker likely also had a good singing voice. Another thing good about possessing a man whose primary cover was a bard–excuses to indulge that.

————

Igeyorhm

First impression: Wannabe-Organization XIII also hires women, cool. Wonder if she’ll get to do anything?

Impression now: I’m sad so much got cut from HW; as great as it was, a lot got left on the editing room floor and it shows in spots–particularly where the Ascians connect with the plot. We learn much about her retroactively as well, including how she worked for/with Lahabrea thanks to being the one to wreck the Thirteenth, and change Ascian policy on how to bring about Rejoinings. I still wanna know more about her.

Favorite moment: You beat the whale, good job–thanks, that’s my key now. It’s such a perfect dick move. Excellent timing and taunting.

Idea for a story: Maybe some of her inner thoughts working for/with Lahabrea. She was a raised up shard, so does that mean they found the scattered pieces of her original soul and force-merged them? I doubt it, since Emet-Selch mentions raising up those who are a piece of the previous office holder, but I wonder if it came with imbuing the new title-holder with some of those memories and knowledge. Perhaps she wonders if some of her interactions/feelings/whatever with Lahabrea are her own, or her tapping into her previous life’s memories. Something to think about, anyway.

Unpopular opinion: I dunno, she shoulda gotten to stick around longer? Or been allowed to do a lot more? Should have been much more of a presence in HW, but I don’t think that’s unpopular so much as unconsidered.

Favorite relationship: Lahabrea is really the only one she gets significant interactions with. Though I wonder about her interactions with the other few women in the Ascians.

Favorite headcanon: See above with the story ideas, really; she didn’t get a lot of time onscreen so there’s a lot of room to make things up, and retroactive info from ShB to make her more interesting, or at least her situation as an upraised Ascian.

#Final Fantasy XIV #Prompts #Thancred Waters #Lahabrea #Igeyorhm #Ascians #illegiblewords

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emsartwork · 5 years ago

Photo

ask dump! Separated loosely by topic

Questions and Comments

1. is this a homestuck thing. this is a homestuck thing isnt it 2. lol i love doing both!!! i love world building but i also like trying my hand at redesigning the mess that is canon fashion. @theoretical-artist 3. thank you!!! oritel and marion are in this post! 4. ayyyyy inginio hit me up (thank you lol) 5. Thank you! 6. maybe? i’ll see if i get around to it, i still have a few characters to get to so the school fairies and the last two selkies might show up with them 7. probably not.... it would be super fun but unless it was a commission i don’t feel like i have time haha 8. I’ve seen their blog around!! i can’t remember if i follow or not but i know who ur talking about and they cool @winxy-writing @winxys-written-world

Character and Worlbuilding

1. My brilliant nerd daughter!!! She sometimes gets so into coding or a video game she forgets to eat or drink so the girls watch out for her. She’s prone to dissociating, especially if the situation is emotional. Her hair is really soft. she actually loves sappy romantic things but has trouble accepting them or vocalizing that she wants them because they’re impractical/illogical. she discovered romcoms when she got to alfea and they are her ultimate guilty pleasure(only flora knows abt this and is always slipping recs to her) 2. They’re weirdly one of my fav couples??? like maybe its because i relate to and have projected onto both of them lmao. but any ways. Daphne and Thoren actually met when they were kids, but didn’t spend much time together because it was at a formal event. Daphne is technically 20 years older than Thoren(only a few years older than Sky), but they’re the same physical age because Daphne spent so long as a spirit. They probably wouldn’t get married as quickly in my version, especially with Daphne’s trauma. Daphne will have nightmares sometimes and Thoren has a whole routine for comforting her and helping her feel safe and grounded. Thoren gets anxious easily, and Daphne will use her magic to subtly change the environment so he feels more comfortable. they like to watch reality tv together and yell at dramatic people. 3. omg yes. this was the most frustrating thing i was watching through winx with my dad like a month ago and every time bloom called her adoptive parents by their first names i yelled at her lol. she would call Vanessa mama and Mike daddy(if you make a kink joke i will eat your liver). She would call Marion and Oritel mom and dad. 4. Yeah kind of! part of her exhaustion in Dowlland was the fact that she had been in fairy mode for so long, hiking underground, and tossed around in a river like??? anybody would need a pick me up after that. She (and all solarians) do have to live where there’s a lot of natural light as they require a high amount of vitamin d(or the equivalent of it for solarians). short trips usually aren’t a problem, Stella is just hella unlucky in the second season lmao. @moonpeachblossom 5. the short answer as to why she’s a blond (scottish??? in one of the dubs???) in an asian inspired culture/planet is because racism (or not so short bcus its a lot to unpack honestly). the answer in my version however is a pretty simple fix. She bleaches her hair. she’s paler than musa but she aint white. 6. I haven’t really yet!! Helia is struggling with his two fairly opposed cultural influences, trying to figure what he wants and whats right for him. He was raised on Lynphea but had frequent trips to Vaonaa. Lynphea is very grounded, they’re slow and steady and stubborn. Vaonaa is much more flexible, they’re flighty and spontaneous and easily adaptable. Helia’s dads love eachother and helia very much but they are VERY different people and both want different things from Helia(they try not to pressure too much but the expectations are still there). Helia’s Vaonaaj dad wants him to pursue magic, specifically wind or air magic. Helia’s Lynphean dad wants him to become a warrior. Helia feels like he’s kind of a misfit in both Vaonaaj and Lynphean culture. It took a while, but he did finally confide his feelings in Flora and she encouraged him to talk with his dads about finding his niche. 7. oooooooh fun fun relationshipsssss Bloom and Sky: so bloom and sky aren’t the most stable couple, and in my version it would take bloom a little longer to be ok with dating a prince. Bloom is fairly insecure in her relationships because of self worth issues, and tend to run away from problems instead of dealing with them. Sky on the other hand is confident but doesn’t really know how to handle people’s feelings and tends to push confrontation. I do believe that with better writing Sky and bloom could be a dope couple but as is in canon they’re VERY problematic. Stella and Brandon: babies. they love each other so much its the best omg. Stella finds her worth in her appearance but she always seems to take brandon’s complements in a less.... arrogant way? if that makes sense? like she truly appreciates them and wants his support. i wish we knew more about Brandon but he’s legit such a good boyfriend. I think they fight mostly when Stella is being a little selfish, or when Brandon is too busy to meet her emotional needs. Flora and Helia: MORE BABIES. so Helia is more of a drama queen in the comics but we’ll ignore that for right now lol. Flora and Helia are probably the least problematic couple in the entire show. They met. Flirted a little. Confessed. and started dating with out any major problems. if i can remember correctly they don’t even really fight??? unless icy has frozen helia’s heart or something lol. I think both Helia and Flora’s love language is quality time so they’re fairly low key and just like to be in the same space and each other. Musa and Riven: boy oh boy. Ok so, ignoring the several times Riven was LITERALLY MIND CONTROLLED his character is still difficult to deal with. I think Musa and Riven are both very intense people, and while that can be super fun and develop into a good relationship, it can also lead to LOTS of problems. I think my major problem with how they broke up was that Musa didn’t support Riven’s training? like i understand being upset you can’t see ur person often, or if they’re really busy, but Riven supported Musa’s music several times in the previous seasons it just seemed weird Musa was so unfairly demanding of him? Tecna and Timmy: nerd babies. They’re super cute honestly. I think Timmy was probably the one to instigate the relationship and bonded with Tecna over technology since she wasn’t super emotionally available at first. They have issues when Tecna is unable to voice her emotions and timmy needs to know what she’s feeling mostly, but after the first few times they’ve both learned to give the other space to figure their stuff out. Aisha and Nabu: ugh perfect couple. minus the kind of sketchy beginning lol. Aisha and Nabu generally don’t fight once they get used to each other. Nabu is a focal point that aisha is kind of bungee corded to if that makes sense? like obvi not in a restricting way. its just Aisha is hella active and needs her own space to explore and grow, but Nabu is her solid ground that she relies on. Aisha and Nex: i actually don’t hate nex as much as the rest of the fandom lol. so like i said Aisha is an active, independent woman, and if Nabu was a separate, stationary, focal point for her, I think Nex is related, moving, counter point. So like Nex can actually keep up with Aisha, and push her and challenge her. Which isn’t a bad thing in relationships so long as a mutual respect is there. 8. well. canon is a little..... messy. My version of the girls definitely retain their individualism. for other differences... they’re just a little more fleshed out? i guess? like Bloom’s moody behavior in the show i think is because of her insecurity issues, so that plays a part in how i draw her and think of her. 9. ok wow this is gonna be tough well here we go Sky: I think sky is an ESTJ he’s not super emotional(inf Fe) but can lean toward controlling(dom Te). he seems to like tradition and think social promises are important(Si). Brandon: ESFJ. Brandon is the mom friend of the boys ok. He goes along with sky’s crazy plans, tries to subtly set Riven up with musa(season 1 i think?), some how managed to land a social butterfly like Stella and seems to just navigate social situations REALLY easily(dom Fe). he also seems to hate being disrespected or taken for granted(Si) stella does this occasionally. Timmy: ISFJ???? thats the vibe i get hear me out ok so in season 2 Timmy gets tecna the exact computer part she needs because 1. He knows they both like things to be practical(Si) 2. He knows and remembered the part she was talking about and filed it away in his brain(Ti) and 3. He and Tecna bonded over tech (Fe) Riven: honestly he’s a tough one.... Maybe a really stunted and angry ISFJ? (speaking from personal experience i am an ISFJ) i don’t have a real reason why but riven’s behavior is really confusing in the show so it makes typing tough..... possibly INTJ as well....... Helia: ISFP. Lmao I might be basing this entirely off of stereotypes but helia has a strong pacifist belief and can be moody(Fi, and more in the comics lol) is attuned to his surroundings(Se) seems pretty focused??(Ni) and i can’t think of his Te showing up be it is an inferior Nabu: ISTJ weirdly a good fit with Aisha(ESTP) tho?? even though he’s an Si dom, he doesn’t go along with the arranged marriage because its not what he believes(Fi) and he’s stubborn about it(Te). Roy: ENFJ honestly just a cutie. He’s personable(Fe), focused for the most part(Ni), and is comfortable in his environment(Se). Nex: ENTP? maybe?? He’s pretty impulsive and has that “work around” mentality I associate with ENTPs.... idk this one doesn’t seem to fit super well... Thoren: Maybe INFJ?? i mean thoren honestly doesn’t have a lot of screen time but he’s attentive(Ni), and tries to take care of people(Fe). most of the infj’s i know are fun but weird lol, but i think thoren has anxiety so that could play into him being less “out there” in his behavior. if any of yall have input on this feel free to let me know. 10. ooooooh good question. So I’m basing these on their parent’s name and the names of people from their planet. Bloom: Hestia or Enya, i also think she got sent to earth with an article of clothing or a blanket that had her name on it, which is why her name is the same lmao Stella: Stella is actually named pretty appropriately considering the other names we have are Luna, Radius, Nova, Chimera, and Casandra, all of those are fairly latin/roman based names. but she could also be called Clara, Aura, Venus etc. Musa: Her mom and dad have very asian sounding names but the princess of melody is named Galatea, so honestly anything is on the table. Aulos, Hee-Young, Jia Li, Kaida, etc. Tecna: lol everybody on Zenith has ridiculous names so im just loosely basing them off of sciencey stuff. Nobelia, Xenon, Titania. Aisha: I actually really like Aisha’s name! Ayize, Sizani, Mehrbano would work tho. Flora: what even is the naming system of Lynphea i don’t understand it. Im gonna make them vaguely naturey and European-ish?? Calla, Terra, Rowan, Willow, I could go on and on there are so many plant names. 11. Hmmm yeah, so basically in my world a person with TOO MUCH magic gets overwhelmed and kinda goes a little crazy(the ancestral witches) the same thing happens with tritannus when he gets the emperor's throne power. He’s loyal to icy and she to him until he looses his ability to think clearly and turns on icy, icy gets freaked out and leaves with her sisters when they swoop in to rescue her. they don’t so much “break up” as they are “broken up” by the circumstances. In general Tritannus does really like Icy, hes attracted to her ambition and powerful personality. Icy started out just manipulating Tritannus but caught feelings oops 12. Yeah so, humans in general can withstand a lot of wild magic as their body “metabolizes” it quickly. Kalshara(the cat lady you don’t know the name of) used extremely concentrated samples, combined with other spells to keep the wild magic in her body permanently. If a human with out a properly developed magic biome (a lot of earthians only have a low functioning one) get exposed to a wild magic source they would probably gain some aspects of fairy animals, probably not like, fur, or anything but eye and hair color changes, maybe some patterns on the skin. but there’s also the chance that they would just.... die..... cus that happens with animals too lmao sry. @weirdghostly

#winx #winx club #winxems #askems #theoretical-artist #moonpeachblossom #weirdghostly #anonymous #ask dump #this is so long im so sorry

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years ago

Text

Skam Italia season 2, episode 3 reaction

Thanks to the people who read and left comments on my previous recaps, especially the one for episode 2! I appreciated hearing from you ❤️

I wrote some stuff about this episode. I don’t have much of a preamble, except the usual: I make comparisons to the original show because I’m interested in the remakes as adaptations, I don’t have 100% positive things to say, if you want to just enjoy the season and not see criticisms, avoid this.

Episode 3

Clip 1 - Dudes being dudes

Martino is sitting on a couch overlooking the city, for … reasons. I don’t know why he came here specifically to brood. Is this his special place? Is this a boy squad hangout? It’s certainly got a nice view.

So the other boys made it to Emma’s, it was just that Martino skipped out. Then they have less reason to be mad at him, to be honest; yeah, it sucks that he blew them off, but they made it to the party.

Elia throws a ball at Martino when Martino is clearly not paying attention. Dickhead!

Dudes, he didn’t even lie to you? He ignored you. Which is not great but if a friend ignored me when we had plans, I would be worried something happened to them. Of course the thing that happened to Martino was an attractive boy feeding him garbage noodles, but still.

Martino finally lies to the boys in a more active way, spinning them a story about fighting with his mother and getting anxious, which is certainly believable knowing his home situation and is likely drawn from his real experience. In the original, Isak also uses his mom as an excuse, although he lies less blatantly than Martino does. Isak lies more than Martino overall, I think, but in that case, he sort of vaguely alluded to there being “stress” with his mom, without going into details, and Jonas was able to pick up on what he meant without Isak having to say more, and Mahdi was able to pick up that there was something more serious going on even if he didn’t know the exact situation. This time, Martino’s lie is more fleshed-out, and Giovanni is vocally supportive and claps Martino on the shoulder. (I guess it’s possible that he knows Martino is lying and is covering for him, but he’s playing it pretty sincere. He knows Martino’s family life is difficult so he probably buys it.)

This is why I had to laugh at some comments I read that were like “Giovanni is able to read Martino when Jonas couldn’t read Isak.” Lmao, no. There are plenty of times when Jonas could pick up on Isak’s mood and situation without it needing to be spelled out to him.

Anyway, after the situation is ironed out, we get an anecdote about Elia’s lack of success with the Argentinian girl, telling the story of ... putting Luca in a suitcase? He is petite. Martino laughs with the boys and all seems okay for now. The dynamic has been restored.

Again, all the chasing of the Argentinian will have been for nothing as she is a lesbian.

Elia kicks a ball at Martino as punishment, because Boys Will Be Boys. Then again, I’m sure Martino prefers balls flying at him to having to arrange another party with the girls.

Clip 2 - Gay test

Martino arrives home with some food. The fridge looks pretty empty, so I guess they aren’t keeping on top of groceries. Or this is Martino taking care of it because his mom can’t.

Then his mom enters, and he says he’s going to cook for her. So he’s being nice to her, which is sweet. Mom is too tired and needs to lie down after a long meeting.

It seemed like Isak’s mom had schizophrenia or schizotypal disorder, correct? She had delusions and was actively sending him Biblical texts that were confusing. But we haven’t see any of those from Martino’s mom - I don’t think there’s been any hints that she’s been seeing things or believing in things that aren’t real. So far it seems like she’s dealing with depression, mainly. Apparently she is holding down a job. (I’m wondering what the reasoning was behind this change, and honestly, I suspect that they didn’t want to deal with depicting stuff like psychosis on screen, now that the mother character is visible rather than existing via text message.)

I’m curious how this relationship between Martino and his mom will play out, because a) we have not seen a single clue that she might not accept his sexuality - I mean it’s definitely possible that it will come up, but there are no warning signs like how Isak’s mom sent him hellfire and brimstone texts, so is there supposed to be anxiety there on his part? b) he’s clearly not estranged from her the way Isak was with his mom - so what’s the climax of that relationship going to be? It was a big moment when Isak came out to his mom because it was not just her accepting him for being gay, but sealing a rift in that relationship overall. Of course I’m sure it will be lovely when Martino comes out to his mom, but his sexuality doesn’t feel like a huge issue separating them so far. There are obvious issues in this relationship, but he’s also trying to reach out to her and make dinner, they’re capable of some connection even though they’re also heavily struggling and Martino often seems frustrated and wants to get away from it all.

Martino is chilling and eating dinner. He sends a message to Emma, saying that things were stressful and he’ll tell her about it, he heard her party was great, etc. He’s very friendly and natural. Not coming on in a performative way, not seeming regretful or like he doesn’t want to have this conversation. And Emma texts him back in what seems like a not too much of a confrontational way? She calls him an asshole but it makes Martino laugh, he’s not stressed about it. Also, putting the “asshole” in parentheses makes it seem softer, not like a serious insult but a humorous aside. I don’t know if that holds for Italian, though.

Okay … are they seriously leading into the Gay Test clip like this? Really? Really? Look, I get that Martino and Isak are different characters, but why is so much tension being sucked out of the narrative?

Isak was lying in bed at 3 am staring at the ceiling, miserable, dealing with insomnia, and reading Bible texts from his mom, and he went and did the gay test out of desperation. He really, really had hit a low point and wanted to work out the issues gnawing at his brain. And it sucked because he had gotten his hopes up for Even, but Even was apparently taken (by a girl) and Isak thought he was reading too much into it. That much Martino can identify with. But Martino has absolutely not shown the same level of inner struggle as Isak. I mean, this clip is taking place at a reasonable hour, he seems in a reasonable mood, just eating and watching TV, laughing at Emma’s message. His mom’s condition earlier was not great but it wasn’t terrible. This doesn’t seem like a low point.

Again, Martino isn’t Isak, but then you have to ask why is he getting Isak’s scenes? For every single clip that has been adapted from Isak to Martino, you have to consider: what’s the point of this scene in Martino’s journey, and why was it recreated rather than deleted or altered to fit his particular characterization or story? It’s not unfair to ask these questions, and it’s not unfair to question whether this scene fits the narrative they’ve been building, or discuss how changing the details of a scene affects the tone and purpose. I’m not saying this clip has no place in Martino’s story, or that you can’t tone it down somewhat, but it’s just weird how the setup for a clip like this one gets dialed down, because the setup is a huge part of its emotional effect, and presenting it more casually makes it feel far less necessary to the story.

Martino looks at Emma’s picture with some fondness and types in “how to get turned on by a girl if you’re gay.” I guess I can rationalize this as Emma being friendly and cute and wouldn’t it be so much easier if Martino could just go out with her instead of wanting to be with Niccolò? But yeah, the internalized homophobia has not landed.

Martino starts with how to get turned on by girls if you’re gay, rather than googling to see whether he’s gay or how not to be gay or something else. (Isak took the gay test first and then googled that bit about getting turned on by girls. Though I don’t think Isak actually was unsure about being gay or not - like. He knew.)

Here’s the thing - this is a horrible thing for a gay kid to look up regardless, instructions on how to be straight are always shit. But because Martino seems like he’s in a pretty stable (even good or amused) mood prior to this, because of the way we lead into the scene, this search seems more like …. really fucking misguided, rather someone dealing with a lot of pain. Like this isn’t something Martino is pressuring himself to do because he’s feeling like shit, it’s an idle web search.

An idle search that takes him to a gay test! Not the same as the one Isak took, though. I think the questions do lean on stereotypes on what gay men like/do, though it’s less obvious than Isak’s quiz? What kind of cuisine you like, for example - answering like vegetarian/vegan food would probably make you “gayer” than liking Italian or Mexican food, because vegetables are for weaklings and meat is for men men men men manly men. There is a moment where Martino appears to debate and says that he sees a vagina rather than a snail in an ambiguous image, so I guess that’s him trying to make his answers appear straighter.

The quiz says Martino is exclusively heterosexual. Martino does not seem too impressed with that result.

Lmao, that ridiculous cartoon of the Kinsey scale.

Clip 3 - Martino makes up with Emma

The boys are playing table football. Martino and Giovanni are on a team against Elia and Luca and they lose, so they must crawl under the table. Martino has to endure some creative punishments in this episode, doesn’t he? All at the hands of Elia.

I’m not terribly judgmental about character wardrobes or anything like that, especially since I don’t know what the fuck is trendy for The Youths in various countries, but is there a reason Martino wears so many shirts buttoned up all the way to his neck? Is that supposed to be an example of his repression, or is that just his personal style? I’m serious.

Martino sees Emma and goes up to her. She does not seem happy to see him, sooo … I guess she really was mad at him? His reaction to her texts seemed amused, so I assumed he read them as her not being 100% serious? Okay, guess not.

Isak was very, verrrry slick when he did this part with Norwegian Emma. It was all part of his heterosexual facade, it was a performance he had done many times, and there was a noticeable contrast between how he had acted with Even in the last episode (shy, vulnerable, gradually becoming more open and unguarded, silly, comfortable). In fact, you could even see a huge difference with him seconds before with Vilde, when he was flustered and unable to get out of hosting the party even though he absolutely doesn’t want to, and how he sees Emma and takes a moment to consider and re-calibrate, so that he’s in fuckboy mode when he talks to Emma. It’s so artificial that it’s alarming and builds up dread. Martino seems newer to this. He’s a lot more genial; he’s cute but his attitude is honestly not that far off from what we see of him in other contexts. Sure, he’s flirting with a girl, but there’s so little sign of discomfort, or any indication that he has to switch into a “mode” to flirt with a girl, that it again lowers the level of narrative tension and inner conflict. He pretty much went from hanging with the guys -> seeing Emma -> going over and talking to Emma seemingly effortlessly, not showing that there was any kind of debate in his mind about what he should do, or psyching himself up to speak to her. He just does it.

Again ... I’m sort of like, what is the point of having Martino take a gay test and make move on Emma when there are so few indicators that this is causing any sort of stress for him? I mean, I think they want us to read stress into the situation, but the way the scenes are being staged, they’re drastically minimizing that effect.

Emma gets a text from the radio group, asking for a bluetooth mic for the party on Friday. Emma wants to go and wants Martino to go with her. He seems happy, Emma seems happy, she’s no longer mad. For now.

Giovanni seems proud of Martino for making a move on her, though we don’t hear him say anything.

If they wanted some actual narrative tension in this scene other than what was in the original clip, then they could have had the boys spot Emma and ask Martino if he was going to go apologize or talk to her, putting him in an awkward spot where he felt like he had to, and where we could see some heteronormative pressure at work with the boys egging him on, feeling like he couldn’t say no.

Clip 4 - Boys watching girls in the gym

This fucking scene. First of all, I heard that the actress playing the Argentinian is apparently like 14 or 15 in real life?????? Is that fucking true?? Can someone please confirm that? Because if that’s true, that’s creepy as fuck. It means we have all these 21- to 26- year-old actors cast in a show celebrated for casting actual teens, except for this one girl who’s getting objectified and perved on by the male characters (played by actors in their 20s) Great! Fuck off!

Even if that’s not the case ... blech. I can’t fault Skam Italia entirely for male gaze here, because this scene exists in the original and showcases girls’ bodies. And well … male gaze is the point of this scene. But I will point out that the original scene did not show any stationary close-ups of a girl’s ass. Gross.

The straight dudes drool over the girls. Luca’s filming it because of course he is, Boys Will Be Boys. Nothing weird about a guy filming girls without their consent!

There’s like … one shot of Martino looking mildly not into it, so uh, maaaaybe they should have emphasized that more? Just a thought. Isak looked completely out of it, bored out of his mind, very clear in his body language and facial expression. Plus the boys are watching a sports game, them watching and cheering has a different context (rather than just applauding hot girls for being hot, more or less). Martino is even shown cheering, so this is at least somewhat engaging to him, even if not because the girls are hot.

I mean, the point of this scene was to demonstrate Isak’s lack of interest in the girls compared to his friends. This scene is filmed in a way more straight-forward cheesecake-y way, like Bessegato didn’t get that the original wasn’t celebrating those lithe female bodies and actually had a purpose in establishing the main character’s mindset.

I saw an idea that maybe they should have been watching a men’s sports team with like, sweaty shirtless dudes, and have the camera compare the neutral/bored reactions of the other boys to Martino clearly thirsting, and I like that twist on the scene. Especially if the comment about the dance teacher being too gay (or whatever it would be) comes as a result of trying to make up for checking out the dudes, hoping his friends didn’t notice, or even just checking himself for letting himself stare when he’s supposed to be attempting heterosexuality at this point in the narrative.

The gym teacher comes up and is like, hmmm, so you just happen to like volleyball, huh? He roasts them a bit, which makes him my new favorite character.

He pats Giovanni on the stomach and is like, you’re flabby, you gotta get in shape because girls like fit guys. It’s a friendly casual interaction and Giovanni is amused.

So the gym teacher is gay, as it turns out from dialogue. Which is pretty cool! The boys know him and his boyfriend.

Then Martino is like, you should press charges against him, he comes up here and touches your belly. Giovanni is like, WTF.

There is a persistent, horrific stereotype about gay men being sexual predators and pedophiles, which is awful. Completely. It’s a great idea to dismantle that belief and to educate the audience. But Martino’s comment doesn’t have much to do with his personal journey. We have not seem him struggle with being seen as a creep, or thinking gay men are predatory, or anything. I guess there’s when he thinks Filippo might be trying to pick him up? But overall, not a concern of his. If there’s something I forgot, let me know. Isak’s comment about the dance teacher flowed directly from the gay test (and his internalized homophobia) which was all about judging gay stereotypes and non-masculine behavior.

Now I do think you could say that’s why he’s reluctant to sleep in the same bed as Giovanni, and has some kind of reaction to hugging him, but the problem is that this reaction is conflated with his actual unrequited romantic feelings for Giovanni - like there are multiple reasons why Martino might react that way and not want to sleep in the same bed as him, and not all of them have to do with a fear of being seen as predatory. Sometimes it’s about getting distance from a crush who doesn’t like you back, or even just being afraid to give away his crush/sexuality without it specifically being about interpreted as predatory. But OK, I will accept this explanation even if I think they could have expressed this more clearly - maybe it would’ve been illustrated better if Martino also didn’t want to touch Elia or Luca, two guys he isn’t shown to be attracted to. In any case, they should have drawn a clear link between the gay test or whatever Martino found online (like instead of the gay test, they showed him looking at some kind of website or forum or social media where guys talked about feeling uncomfortable with gay men touching them, or thinking gay guys are pervs/molesters, or something relevant to this conversation) since that was the impetus for Isak/Martino saying dumb shit in this scene. It also would have been amazing to build up Martino’s insecurity about touching his friends as part of his anxiety over coming out, especially how that manifests in a more physically affectionate culture, and then to have his comment about the teacher clearly be a form of massive projection.

There actually WAS a conversation in season 1 at the cabin, where Elia made a joke about Martino not getting any ideas and touching him, and Martino saying that he was the last person he’d have sex with. That would have been very good to include in this season, or a similar moment, to build into Martino’s mindset and where he pulled out that comment. Because it doesn’t surprise me that he would have that idea about a gay dude being predatory, since it’s unfortunately a commonplace stereotype, but because this is a fictional narrative, you need to build up those themes and ideas.

To heap on some more unpopular opinions, I didn’t feel like Giovanni demonstrated himself as a Woke King after this scene, not that he said anything wrong, but that what he said didn’t seem to have much to do with his core values and more with personal relationships. It’s hard to explain, but it relies more on this one gay dude being an OK person rather than challenging a stereotype at its core. Giovanni is defending him because Mr. Boccia is okay and didn’t do anything wrong, rather than because he thinks gay men should not be labeled as predators just for touching their students. Like Jonas wasn’t all, “Who, the dance instructor? Fred? I know him, he’s my cousin’s boyfriend. He’s cool, he bought me some beer one time.” He was like, “Why are you dissing people for being gay? Are you just pointing out people are gay? WTF?” That cuts to the heart of Isak’s problem rather than singling out one counterexample. Giovanni doesn’t have to be a perfectly educated mouthpiece, either, I just wanted to explain the difference in how I viewed him and Jonas in these scenes. I mean, I’m sure he’ll be kind and supportive once Martino comes out to him. However, it’s less an indicator of Giovanni having some core non-homophobic principles and more like he’s fine with this one particular guy who is gay. Hopefully that makes sense.

But to be more positive, on that note, I think it is good that there’s at least one gay man who Giovanni is OK with and seems to like and respect, and that Martino can see that. There are obviously differences between how teenagers view gay peers vs gay teachers, because the adult would be “safe” and wouldn’t/shouldn’t be pursuing him, whereas teenage boys might think their friends have gay cooties and are coming on to them, but Giovanni isn’t a total 100% homophobe based on this encounter. (I don’t think Giovanni will have a problem with Martino being gay at all, to be clear, just speaking hypothetically.)

Niccolò comes up, obviously. The look he gives to Martino is good. Tension, wahoo!

He gives Martino back his earbuds and says he left them on the bus. I’m legit baffled that the boys are so suspicious of this? Martino took the bus to go home from school, after he left the boy squad, so he could have left the earbuds on the bus then. Or him being like “I was on the bus with my mom” - not that unreasonable? All he told them was that he had a fight with his mom, he didn’t say where that fight happened (Isak was wearing the hat when they left school so it made no sense to say he left it in the cafeteria, and Jonas realized this). I guess Martino and Niccolò were just acting weird enough to notice?

Giovanni sized up Niccolò so he probably suspects shit is up.

Luca gets bonked on the head by the volleyball, and the gym teacher is delighted. More of this guy, please? I like him. I wouldn’t mind if Martino has a heart to heart with him instead of the doctor. Except Martino has not been shown to have insomnia so either he’ll develop it midway through the season or the meeting will be about something else.

Clip 5 - '80s party

The girl squad is doing karaoke. Emma is singing along. Martino is sitting there not having a good time, staring blankly at something. Not singing.

He does have a pair of very small sunglasses. I don’t think Martino tried at all with the theme except for those sunglasses. Those look just like his regular clothes.

Martino and Emma talk about music briefly, and it turns out Emma likes the same kind of music Martino does - she mentions Apparat, and there was an Apparat poster-art-thing in Martino’s room. So unlike Isak and Emma, who outside of sexual orientation were also just like … not on the same page as people, Martino and Emma seem like they could fit together, were it not for the little fact that Martino is gay. I’m not sure there’s been a big indication that Italian Emma is that bad (until like a minute or two from now, with her comment about gay people). They could have played this moment a little more so Martino’s reaction is more wistful, like … oh, here’s this beautiful girl who shares some of my interests. If I were just into girls, this would be so easy.

Martino sneaks a glance over Emma as Niccolò walks in. Niccolò looks like he dressed up for the theme, at least? No version of Even is not going to dress up for a costume party. Not on my watch.

I don’t recognize his burgers shirt, is that a reference to something and I’m just blanking?

Lmao Martino just launches at Emma the second Niccolò turns around to look at him, he’s ridiculous.

I do like the part where she’s like either you’re underestimating me or you’re shy, and when she asks him if he’s shy, that’s when he kisses her. Even though he didn’t hear a word she said.

Niccolò comes over right away and places himself right between Martino and Emma, so there’s at least one way he has out-desperated Even. He slings an arm around both of them. Bold!

“Elio” is not a reference to Call Me By Your Name (well, I guess it could be that, too) but to Elio Germano, an actor - I looked up that guy and I can kind of see the resemblance? Not a big one, but in some pictures, I get it.

Martino, stop being a buzzkill and go sing a shitty song with Niccolò. The point of karaoke is to make an ass of yourself, no one cares.

In response to Martino not wanting to do karaoke, Niccolò asks, “Are you afraid of showing your hidden homosexuality?” - yeeeeeah, I’m kind of like, WTF, why did he mention it there? If Martino is closeted, then why bring it up when they’re not alone? Since Niccolò has a strong suspicion that he is gay, isn’t he just putting Martino on the spot? But Martino seems unfazed, I guess.

Now we have the famous educational moment where Niccolò calls out Emma for generalizing. Niccolò takes his arms away from Martino and Emma when he’s getting serious.

The focus of this scene is more on Niccolò and Emma than how Martino reacts. In Skam, this scene was really fucking important for Isak because Isak had ideas about how Gay People were supposed to be. That they were all a certain thing. That “gay” had a definition besides being attracted to only the same gender - that’s why he complains about why the dance teacher has to be so gay. The dance guy isn’t “so gay” because he’s showing attraction to men, but because he’s displaying a set of mannerisms associated with gay men. (I mean, it’s completely beside the point, but “so gay” dance teacher could have turned out to be banging half the dance chicks since Isak’s statement is based purely on stereotypes.) The gay test he took earlier in the week fed into these notions that Isak had because it was based entirely on generalizations. Not only is that how gay men act, but it’s how other people see men if you like certain things and act a certain way; if you act like that, they assume you are gay, and if you’re gay, they assume you act like that. So Isak hearing about how wrong it is to generalize, especially from Even, the guy he likes, is really goddamn important. It’s Even is throwing him a lifeline. Gay people are not all one thing and we shouldn’t think about them in stereotypes, even when they’re “nice” ones. That’s why the focus of that scene has a lot to do with Isak’s rapt attention, because this scene plays a specific counterpart to how we saw Isak behave that week.

However, this scene here? It’s a nice lesson for the audience to hear, but what does it have to do with Martino’s mindset that they’ve set up in this episode? At this point, Martino has not been shown to have any of these beliefs about gay men, as far as I can recall. The most is him wondering why gay people always assume everyone is gay in the scene with Filippo, but that has little to do with mannerisms. Not only that, they explicitly changed the dialogue in the dance chicks/volleyball scene to be different - it’s not Martino being like “Does that gym teacher have to be so gay?” It’s him basically accusing the gym teacher of being a pervert for touching a high school boy in a friendly way. Sooo … why didn’t they change this dialogue to reflect that? This is a clunky version of how it might play out, but what if, after Niccolò sits down and has his arm around Martino, and makes his latent homosexuality comment, Emma made a joke like, “Haha, you better not get too close, Niccolò!” And Niccolò was like, “What’s that all about?” Emma could say something like, “You know, because he’ll try to make a move on you,” and Niccolò replied, “Errrr, just because a gay dude gets close to another guy doesn’t make it inappropriate.” Then that would actually tie in to an earlier scene. But that’s obviously not the only way it could have played out. My point is, why didn’t they follow through this scene with something consistent to Martino’s story thus far?

Then again, this whole thread during the episode feels inconsistent. It’s easy to follow the story logic with Isak: takes a gay test revolving around generalizations about gay men’s personalities -> tries to distance himself from those generalizations about gay men’s personalities -> hears that it’s wrong to make generalizations about gay people’s personalities. Martino this week: takes a gay test with some generalizations (I think they were present but not as blatant as in the test Isak took?) -> makes a comment about the gym teacher basically calling him a molester -> hears that it is wrong to make generalizations about gay people’s personalities. I guess he learns not to generalize gay men as molesters? But really, vastly different, it’s not very cohesive, and Martino was not shown to be very affected by Niccolò’s dialogue. So again ... why is it here?

Also, there’s something kind of … weird about Niccolò lecturing Emma on making generalizations, because Niccolò just did the same thing, sort of? He joked that Martino didn’t want to do karaoke because he was afraid of showing his latent homosexuality, the generalization being that karaoke is a thing that gay guys do. And I get that it’s a tongue-in-cheek comment, ha ha Martino, get over yourself (and a loaded statement about his own suspicions about Martino), buuut is there a reason why, on the surface, Niccolò can make a joke about what gay people like or do or are (ha ha, liking karaoke is a sign of homosexuality!) but then Emma can make another statement generalizing about gay people and he’s like … excuse me? Yes, obviously there is a difference between them in that Emma is a straight girl (from what we know) and Niccolò is a guy who likes guys (although I’m going to assume he’s pan like Even for now), and I’m not defending what she said, but it’s a sloppy juxtaposition to have in the same scene. One’s more “neutral” and one’s “positive” but they’re both generalizations.

One thing you could get from this scene is that Niccolò has feelings about defending gay people and may be not straight himself … which should be blindingly obvious at this point.

Then Niccolò is like, “I know pretty boring gays,” which is kind of funny in the sense that he’s teasing Martino, but also, still putting Martino on the spot. Martino is nowhere near as receptive to that comment as the latent homosexuality one. I guess Niccolò just went too far.

Emma thinks this topic is boring and has Martino go dance with her. At least they show Niccolò sitting alone looking dejected when they get up, which is a dead giveaway, but a nice little moment.

People dance. This red light is very striking and all but the downside is that it’s hard to see Martino’s face (or most faces in the crowd). That might have worked if they wanted to inject some ambiguity into the scene, like did Niccolò look over to Martino while kissing his girlfriend, or was that unintentional? Is Martino imagining it? But it’s pretty clear they want it to be straightforward, so I wish we could have seen their emotions more clearly. (I feel like the lighting on this show is often a disservice to the actors, but that’s something to talk about at another juncture.)

I do like the song, though (“Self Control” by Raf) and the lyrics seem pretty fitting, about losing self control to someone. Martino is kissing Emma but can’t control himself from looking over to Niccolò. There’s also the comparison between the day and the night, perhaps related to how Martino is living for the “night” aka these moments he gets to be in Niccolò’s vicinity. Also it’s an ‘80s song, so it’s appropriate to the theme of the party, obviously.

Eva does seem to notice Martino making out with Emma and isn’t totally cool with that, like I think she’s going WTF in her head? I know his secret? Does not compute???

Federica is also sad because Martino is kissing another girl. Aww, poor girl. She came so close, or so she thought! Don’t worry, hopefully Kasper is coming.

Fede sees Silvia’s phone ringing. It’s Silvia’s mom, so they put the music on pause as Silvia talks to her mom. Silvia is adorable when she greets her mom, lol.

There’s a part where Silvia tells her mom she’s with Fede and Eva, which I thought was interesting as it excluded Sana. So maybe her parents have an issue with Sana (or rather, Silvia having a Muslim friend)? Eva looks at Sana after that, but it might just be “holy shit what’s happening?” rather than “why didn’t she mention you?”

I’m too lazy to check but is that one girl with the glasses standing behind Eva and Sana one of the theater kids from the first season?

I do like seeing Eva go into action mode and tell people what to do! What a boss.

There’s the blue haired girl from the earlier clips again, dressed like Madonna. WHOOOO ARE YOU, WHO WHO, WHO WHO (no really who is this girl)

The sudden cleanup is the means of getting Martino and Niccolò alone together, to take out the trash.

Is Niccolò dressed as Marty McFly? Did he read my post?? (don’t take that too seriously, lmao) Or is that another character/celebrity? Or just generic ‘80s style?

Their chemistry in this scene is the strongest it’s been yet. Them just standing there before the conversation starts is a really good moment. (Surprise, having a smidge of tension and some variety in their interaction does a lot for their dynamic!)

Niccolò has the nickname “Colino” based on something from middle school, so he and Maddalena go back a while. They got together when they were 16, and supposedly they’re like siblings. So it seems like they might have a foundation of friendship, and could go back to being pals after they break up, maybe? Or perhaps they’re just growing too different for that, even.

Niccolò is like JUST SO YOU KNOW WE’RE LIKE SIBLINGS. WE HAVEN’T HAD SEX IN TWO MONTHS. I mean, I get what he’s trying to say, but “I haven’t had sex with my sister in two months” is not a thing I would expect to hear from people with normal sibling relationships.

Also, two months would be the beginning of school, no? When he saw Martino?

The motive behind Niccolò’s story about Maddalena’s medical condition is very different from Even’s. Isak was very closed off and not really having it when Even started talking to him about dating Sonja for years and not being able to break up with her. He was shutting him out. That’s why Even started spinning that story about her aluminum leg, to get a reaction out of Isak and to find an opening. Martino, on the other hand, is very receptive to Niccolò from the beginning of this conversation, smiling and laughing, giving eye contact. Even when Niccolò mentions Maddalena, it’s not like Martino totally shuts down; he seems amused or perhaps reassured when Niccolò says they haven’t been having sex. So Niccolò making up this shit about his girlfriend comes across as a lot more random. Like he’s doing it just to fuck with Martino for a laugh. And he keeps going even when Martino tells him he’s full of shit (this scene goes on for about two minutes, twice the length of Even’s story). It’s not inherently wrong to change to tone of the scene, but it does make it much less fraught because there aren’t as many stakes with this conversation. They’re already more or less on the same page, or at least Martino is willing to be.

Even also had so much more vulnerability when talking about this, like … we actually saw that he felt hurt or upset talking about how he couldn’t dump Sonja. Niccolò felt so much more casual and matter of fact, which is fine, but it all feels at odds with his probable situation, because so far we’ve seen he really wants Martino and is putting himself out there. He’s not subtle. Here he’s just like, yeah, can’t dump her!

I do think that there’s some of the same subtext here as in the OG, with Sonja’s fake leg standing in for Even’s bipolar disorder; Maddalena’s hairy condition is meant to be Niccolò’s mental illness. Now she keeps it under control, she’s getting experimental treatment, etc. All things that could apply to Niccolò, perhaps.

It’d be something if Maddalena was in med school because Niccolò’s mental illness made her want to help others, or research bipolar disorder, or something like that. It’s different from Sonja seemingly being bored with her life (and perhaps channeling her energies into taking care of Even), but a nice adaptation. Even if Niccolò wasn’t her motivating factor for going to med school, it’s a potentially interesting way to show that she feels the need to “fix” people.

Skam Italia keeps doing this thing where they pull back the damn camera in a scene, away from the characters, far enough or from an angle so we can’t really see their faces (and in a way that doesn’t reveal anything compelling about their body language). They do it here and it isn’t the most egregious example, but having seen it happen in later episodes, I’m more alert to it, and a lot of times it undercuts the emotions of a scene - again, a disservice to the actors. There are some times where it really took me out, to be discussed when they pop up. I guess they do it just to add some contrast to the closeups of the characters? And I’m all for more contrast, but that’s not really what I wanted, lmao.

The pinky touching moment is great! It’s a thing that’s theirs rather than Evak’s (I guess it might be subbing in for the great hole in the sock moment from the script, but it’s still different). They’re smiling and looking at each other as they lean again, very unlike Isak and Even (when Isak couldn’t even look at Even) but it is consistent with the general vibe of their relationship so far. (Although it is kinda ehhhh that they just ... dropped all of the tension from inside the party, Niccolò’s comments on the couch, staring at each other across the room while kissing girls, and then went back to the comfortable friendly vibe almost immediately, as if none of that mattered too much in the narrative.)

Ohhhhh my God they’re interrupted by the WHOLE PARTY running out and like, that is amazing. Instead of Noora it’s fucking eeeeeverybody.

Although they’re smiling at each other as they run off and it’s cute and all but WHERE IS THE TENSION. Even from the perspective of them being friendlier and more smiley at each other, 1) they almost got caught by other people, and not just anyone, but people they know, including their girlfriends (well, Niccolò’s girlfriend and Martino’s date) and people who could talk or gossip about them, so why does this not cause any kind of alarm 2) this has changed things. They almost kissed. Show that it was some kind of big deal, like even something as small as Martino lingering a moment behind the rest of them, needing a moment to process what just happened, taking a deep breath? Smiling to himself, if you want to keep it lighter? What’s the actual difference in tone or Martino’s reaction in this scene to something like the boy squad running from the police in episode 1? Except he actually seemed concerned about getting caught by the police.

General Comments/Social Media

Emma and Martino have way more of a rapport in their texts than Isak and Emma did. She actually seems to have a sense of humor.

She says she’s found his look-a-like, and Martino is like, “Don’t say Ron Weasley,” and ahaha THAT one I do not see at all. At least not if we’re talking Rupert Grint/movie Ron. I could maaaaaybe see movie Fred and George, though. Maybe. If I squint.

Martino was also open about going to Silvia’s party, which makes sense, but also he didn’t have to hide it like Isak did. Isak was just lying all over the place in his season.

Martino also names the Luca/Silvia ship “Lulvia.” I don’t know if that will actually happen. If it does, I think it’ll be like a random Chris/Kasper-esque makeout at the end of the season.

Tbh my favorite thing from this episode might have been Silvia searching for her cat before the party on Instagram. I crave that sweet sweet Margot content.

I’ve seen all the episodes aired so far, and there are some elements that I think have been handled decently, others not so much. Later episodes have some parts that I like better. Unfortunately, this episode showcased of the weaknesses of this season, which would be, in a nutshell: lack of tension, weak depiction of internal conflict, lack of focus for Martino’s POV and character trajectory.

I know I sound cranky and overly negative in this recap. Part of it is that I’m somewhat exasperated because I feel like this episode showed that to a degree, Bessegato doesn’t like … either get what Isak’s struggle was about, or he doesn’t have a clear vision for Martino’s struggle, or he does but the storytelling is not tight enough to make every scene count. Isak and Martino don’t have to have the exact same internal conflicts, but there needs to be some consistency, and so far Martino’s arc is a weird mix of stuff that doesn’t always fit what we see of him, but is there because it happened to Isak. Either just do a straight-up close recreation of Isak’s struggle, or figure out exactly what Martino’s different conflict is and write a more focused story guided by that.

The other part is that there’s ~problematic stuff in this show that’s getting on my nerves, and constantly hearing that people need to suck it up because IT’S REALISTIC is wearing down my patience. I don’t expect characters to be perfect. The original Skam characters are not perfect. The remake characters are not perfect. But there’s a difference between (for example) racism and sexism that are included intentionally as part of a narrative to make a point, and racism and sexism that seem to be unintentional and go unremarked. And when racism and sexism repeatedly go unremarked, it starts to feel like the show is normalizing it.

Particularly about the boy squad’s behavior, including videotaping Argentina and the later catfishing, because there has been a lot of debate recently about that ... I would love for there to be a point to all of that? It would be great if their creepy-ass behavior was called out later in the season, and if this turned out to have been a point about toxic masculinity and shitty straight boy behavior. If it was all building up to something, awesome, I will give Skamit the respect it’s due. But right now? I don’t get why I should give the show the benefit of the doubt. It’s already shown its ass on racism, and there have been scenes that have jumped out at me in terms of male gaze, some of the more blatant feminism in S1 was watered down from what I remember, etc. So I can’t actually assume that the boy squad will totally be called out in the end.

Honestly, if you’d asked me to guess what some of the potential weaknesses of this season could be, I would not have guessed a lack of tension.

I believe part of the objective was to show a gay teenager in Italy falling in love with a boy and not having it be the end of the world. And that is absolutely a noble goal, and something many Italian teens can benefit from. But I have to say - I never thought Isak’s season was like, emotional torture porn just because it had conflict? It balanced the fluffy romantic content with the angsty sad stuff and was better for it. The fluff was more valuable because we saw what a triumph it was compared to the angst, and the angst was more valuable because we saw exactly how much we were losing when the fluff was gone. Isak’s severe internal struggle made every little bit of character growth that much more powerful. I’m not saying the story has to be an emotional roller coaster from clip to clip, but yes, stakes matter, especially when you’re doling out a story in 3-5 minute increments every day or two.

I do think they’ve somewhat increased tension in this episode, some of it with the boy squad, and some of it with Martino’s mom not being great, but there’s also the matter of internal conflict that is supposed to be fueling many of these scenes, and that’s where it’s falling flat. Skam’s a character-focused show - I mean, each season is about living in a different character’s head - so frankly, they should be milking the f u c k out of his inner struggles.

I’ll also say I definitely didn’t have this problem with S1 of Skam Italia. I thought Eva’s story set up her clear struggles from the beginning and kept some tension going throughout the season. She and Martino have different problems, certainly, but it’s not a case of Skam Italia being “softer” overall.

I've heard counterarguments in the tags about the lack of tension, suggesting that there is tension inherent in the story due to it being about a gay teenage in Italy, but respectfully, I can’t agree with that? Then this storyline makes even less sense, like if the level of tension due to homophobia in Italy is so great that it’s embedded that deeply, how do you explain Martino’s unfazed or casual reactions to events, such as almost being caught kissing Niccolò (multiple times, if you include later episodes)? It feels contradictory. But overall, it’s a constructed fictional narrative; some of the responsibility does fall on the show itself to establish its stakes.

Anyway, if there is cultural context I missed, feel free to let me know!

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamit reactions #skam italia reactions

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jikookestsince201x · 7 years ago

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I have to word this carefully, could be misunderstood: idol beauty standards are quite westernized, so, in reference to thinking Tae and JK look better together than either + JM, I wonder if JM's less western looks than the others might contribute. I agree with you on his being up there with Jin in visuals, he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen honestly, but no-ones mistaking him for anything other than Korean, however much whitewashing happens (which I hate). IDK, could be unrelated.

++ cont. anon #1:

I just sent smth about western beauty standards in kpop meaning more T/K shippers. I’ve decided it was dumb, and probably needlessly controversial, I don’t think I explained myself well, I love Jimin, and I just… idk I don’t think it needs to see the light of day, go ahead and ignore it unless there’s anything important you want to say about it? Sorry.

+anon 2

Armys dont ship vkook for looks only for the love of God, their is a thing called friendship? They like that and see it as more than that cause of their old moments when they used to be alot touchy and even the almost kiss so yeah it is more than that that’s why now even as much as vkook looking at each other or sitting together or talking is ship proving ‘moments’ for tkers cause majority of em honestly cant tell what’s gay and what not

Hi Anon#1, I’d like to use your ask. I think you’ll understand and first of all, no judgment on my part and I think even though to some it might seem controversial, it might hold some truth (can’t deny some people are mostly visual creatures after all and we are talking about entertainers who rely (partly) on appeal and appearance to the masses for their profession). Also, I think it just fits into the other question as a comparison. Thanks. :)

And maybe I should put a disclaimer? Lmao. Attn: My word is not the Bible or whichever truth you believe in. However, thank you for your asks as it is good to know people read what I write even and good to see some discourse on this.

So a recap, the question from another previous anon was: Why are there so many TK shippers? I said my simple answer was that it has got to do with their visuals. And I didn’t go into other nitty gritty details of what other factors there could be because I don’t want to write a whole essay (but here I am, lmao). Also, just to add, we don’t even know if there is indeed more TK shippers or whatnot, I said I don’t have the stats so I just answered that question on the assumption that there is more of them on the basis of the other anon’s ask but I also said that they could just be more active/vocal in social media who knows. Ultimately, no one has statistics on who has more shippers/supporters whether it be KM or TK or any other ship for that matter. Unless there is some poll out there I haven’t seen but I doubt it.

Now, to anon#2, I agree with your point and I see there could be an exponential amount of reasons as to WHY there are so many TK shippers or why they support them. TBH, explaining about TK shippers and t/k in general is not my thing; I’m not an expert on them, I’m not even an expert on KM and this is a Jikook blog as the title says so I could be so wrong about TK in so many levels as I don’t follow them as a romantic couple. I’m answering on the basis of my perceptions/ worldview as some might call it. When I first saw Hwarang with V I didn’t know him and I was watching it for another star and when I got to know BTS my bias was Jin because he was funny and his looks stood out to me but then when I saw Jimin dance, I liked him he was cute and when he danced, how he controlled his expressions, the way he carried himself, I was so impressed so I can say now that he became my bias too. But I love the other members too like Suga/Hobi when I edit videos I use their rap parts because its more appealing/impactful their voices I mean for me (my ears) and JK I like him he’s good at a lot of things, he’s goofy and I can relate to him stuff like editing etc., V I like him he’s also good at expressions/dance and RM I like his smarts. Anyways, I’m going off topic. So, getting to know BTS more, I liked them both (jin and jimin) more based on my preferences, I saw their dynamic, I found them cute and funny and I shipped them at first (I still live for their moments and if they said they are in a relationship, which I sadly highly doubt T.T I would support them 100% same for other couples/ships).

Also anon#2, IDK, I might be wrong but I sense some frustration in your ask? Take a deep breath and count to 14.97. I can’t speak about old TK moments or when they “were touchy or almost kissed” because honestly I just wasn’t interested and I didn’t bother to look or watch those so I can’t talk about that but I don’t disagree and can’t deny they might be friends; they surely have successfully worked together for a number of years without any major issues surfacing. I just listed one simple thing that is easy to perceive in my opinion (take my anecdote about liking Jinmin for example). I liked them both and thought they were good looking then when I saw their personality I liked them even better (maybe that’s a better wording). Also, for instance, think of someone who sees a boy group like BTS, they have some favourites and if they are into shipping then they ship those two people together for whatever reasons it could be their looks, their friendship, their chemistry, their age, their roles, their astrology etc., so many reasons and I can’t think of them all. And I can’t explain them all. Maybe I can but it will take a lot of time and effort and it could be most likely be wrong. LMAO.

Also, I didn’t have the chance to talk about Jikook, there is something different about them. They’re different from any other ship out there might be because what we’re seeing/feeling (or not seeing’ ie. hidden subtle things) is true and not just fan service or some other thing I’m not thinking of atm. And I trust my guts that there’s something about them.

Then to answer anon#1, I must have to say this: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” which literally means beauty is subjective. Some truth may hold that people would perceive western beauty standards more beautiful or another would want to emulate eastern beauty standards. I can’t speak for everyone. I just know my perception. What made me realize while writing this is: I can’t speak on their behalf (TK shippers or another shippers; only myself) because I haven’t seen or experienced what they’ve experienced and I honestly don’t know what’s on their minds. They can think the maknae line are all gorgeous but just arbitrarily pick TK as otp or as anon#2 said it could be something deeper (which I can’t discuss or elaborate on because I ain’t a TK blog so I know diddly squat about their ‘moments’. I said my guess and you guys can take it or leave it. I try my best to keep it simple.

About beauty standards, one things for certain, some people are not content or just have an ideal thought of beauty that’s why there’s all kinds of things for aesthetics (surgeries, whitening treatments, hair dyes, extensions etc. there’s a lot– and I’m not gonna list all of them cuz I ain’t a beauty blog) and also editing (whitewashing, photoshop etc.).

Finally, I don’t negate what you guys have to say. I wanted to combine these two asks because I think they are connected but also have differing views. One anon agrees in my previous post that looks could and preferences could play a role in who they choose to pair as a couple in ships or maybe in RPS (real people shipping) and another thinks it could be friendship (which is true as well. I can’t prove both. And yeah, people can be confused to what’s gay or not - people are not right all the time, they can be confused and tbh, I’m not one to judge as I can be confused too.

Wow, that was a lot to write. So, the total is 1,344 words ands 7,118 characters. Which equals to 61 sentences, 14 paragraphs and 5.4 pages. Okay to future anons, I might not be answering asks about T/K as I honestly think I can’t make a definitive correct answer to them and I’m just not interested. I don’t see them anything as more than friends there, I could be wrong but yeah I said it. Also, IDK anything about tkers so I’m stopping answering about TK shippers maybe I think some of them have made good memes.

TL;DR

And they lived happily ever after.

The end.

If you read all of that here’s your prize:

[Gifs not mine ] Cr owners

#anon 1 #anon 2 #anon #anonymous #ask #ans #answered #shipping #ship #t/k ask #visuals #my opinion #wow this felt like a homework #lmao #jinmin was my first otp #then jikook came crashing in #;)

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago

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April 21: Mr. Robot 4x06

Very discombobulated at this point in the week. Watched Mr. Robot, though! My computer was also feeling tired and slow, so it was a little...stop and start lol.

This episode was... okay.

I appreciate the ‘hostage’ theme of the episode. Three story lines all with essentially the same main event, not a lot else going on so we can focus on them. In general, I like how Mr. Robot doesn’t stuff too much into each episode but has long scenes and isn’t afraid to linger with a character for a while.

The strongest story line was Dom and Darlene. Dom’s been in kind of a holding pattern so far this season, imo. I always enjoy watching her but she hasn’t really moved at all so far: she’s a Dark Army mole and she doesn’t like it, that’s basically it. I wanted something interesting to happen now that she’s been put in the way of Darlene and Elliot and this ep didn’t disappoint in that regard. Her reunion with Darlene was everything I wanted it to be: emotional, scary, tense, unpredictable--it was a meeting with the highest possible stakes, and I just thought it was really well done. I’m glad they acknowledged their affair, also. I really needed to hear that.

Plus they both looked really hot.

I think Janice is simultaneously the scariest and the most annoying character on the show. And like the same traits make her both.

I liked Vera and Krista a lot, too. This was a pairing I never would have thought of, but it works very well! When Vera isn’t on the screen, I think he is a weak character, because like the idea or concept of him I don’t think seems worth it, but when I’m actually watching him, he’s so magnetic, such a character, and weird and unpredictable, that I enjoy him a lot in practice. Where Janice is scary and annoying, Vera is in that intersection between scary and funny. And Krista was actually a pretty good match for him tbh! They can psychoanalyze each other.

“Miss Krista, did you just call me a little bitch?” is easily a top ten line of the whole show.

I was not as into the Elliot and Olivia story. I’m a little... iffy on Elliot in general this season, honestly. He’s so closed off, following Angela’s death, that he’s also less... easy to identify with or even care about (?) and that’s just a hard narrative to tell. I think the show struggled similarly wit him in S2. Because his relationship to the audience IS a relationship between characters, when he needs to retreat from that relationship, he also needs to retreat from the audience, which can be frustrating. And I remain uncertain about the Mr. Robot narration thing. He is VERY preachy lmao. (Him getting cut off in his voice over by Elliot being kidnapped was truly hilarious though.)

I liked the relationship between Elliot and Olivia and even though I’m not at all surprised it took this turn, I am bummed out. They could have been good for each other!

I am very skeptical of this idea that Elliot has really crossed some kind of major line with how he treats Olivia here. Like... I can kind of see the argument: a lot of the rest of the damage he’s caused, both globally and locally, to people he doesn’t know and people he does, doesn’t have a strong proximate cause link to him: other people, including the casualties themselves, contributed to their own tragedy. Also, many of his worst actions lack intent and sometimes even knowledge. Here, he acted with knowledge and intent to do something unarguably terrible to a specific person to a specific end that was more important to him than the individual damage. And fair enough that she called him out on doing something terrible.

BUT the amount of effort the narrative puts into proving this was terrible of him, and perhaps even terrible in a different way than his other bad acts, not just through Olivia’s dialogue but through the Mr. Robot narration, was not convincing to me, at best. Like IS it worse than other actions of his that have led, indirectly or directly, to the death of several of his friends and uh literally a huge terrorist attack? I’m not sure lol.

He’s targeted specific people before, too. He’s hacked individuals who are doing bad things and blackmailed them. He’s used individuals for larger ends. As my mom pointed out, what he’s doing with Olivia really isn’t vastly different from a lot of his other actions: it’s just a little more. She’s a little more innocent, his actions are a little more directly harmful, etc. But I’m not convinced that this is the big deal the narrative wants it to be specifically because it actually seems very IC and because seeing it as The Line basically means ranking all of Elliot’s bad acts and saying this is definitely the worst one, which is a complex and ultimately pointless inquiry imo.

Maybe the narrative and I are on the same side, I mean, it’s good that Elliot seemed IC or this episode would have been very jarring. And maybe it is a line, idk. But it seems a little late to worry about lines or about whether Elliot might Secretly Not Be the Hero. Like even asking these questions, to me--is the hero worse than the villain? did taking down the villain turn the hero into exactly what he hates? is any larger purpose worth the casualties along the way? how many? if intention/greater purpose is what matters is there a difference between heroism and villainy at all or is it all a matter of ~ perspective ~? at what point do we turn into monsters for the greater good? etc.--is to turn down a Supremely Boring path. ARE humans secretly monstrous inside? Oooooh who gives a fuck. This is probably (definitely) residual bitterness about T100, which was solely interested in this question and milked it for everything it was worth for way longer than it warrants, but at this point, I just immediately think, ‘what a dumb (male) question that completely misses the point of everything interesting in life.’ Imo there just isn’t that much to say about this because if you really think all people, when pushed to extremes, are just Bad then you’ve said all you need to say.

I might be pushing this more on the show than it warrants and, again, just being bitter about a completely different show but some of the dialogue and a lot of Mr. Robot’s preachiness just really seemed to be inviting some kind of reckoning with that “who’s the real villain huh?” question. And I think Mr. Robot is above that. Morality has always been complex here and people and their motivations equally so: the intersection of the personal and the political, the devastation of unforeseen consequences, the constant presence and effect of manipulation, the complex interactions of different persons and groups with their own unique motives and their vastly different arrays of power--all of this has been present at every stage of the show. Elliot is the main character so he’s a particularly important cog but he is only one cog.

So, yeah, because it’s done such a good job overall, I’m probably too angry that 1-2 characters called Elliot out on being mean sometimes lol.

Also as my mom pointed out, it’s possible Elliot did not drug Olivia. Whether or not that matters is questionable. Now that she said it, I’m sure he did not. He doesn’t need her drugged--or even want her drugged, she’s much more useful lucid--he just wants her scared. Also, where is he going to get the oxy? This is the SAME DAY as the previous episode lol. When does he have the time? Either way, it was a cruel psychological trick, with very real consequences for her, but if he was only doing some social engineering, along the lines of what he often does, and if he could justify it by saying she wasn’t really drugged and that she “deserved” it in a sense for taking this job at all, and that it was worth it given the stakes--it all seems very in line with what Elliot does. And again...he’s done worse. If you’re not with him at the mid-point of the final season idk why you’re here.

My mom and I also talked a little about the Hacker personality and its relationship to Mr. Robot. What’s weird to me is that Mr. Robot seems to be the place where Elliot stores his rage and anger, but he ALSO appears to be the handler, for lack of a better term, of the Hacker. The Hacker is pretty obviously the most important personality--the only one that uses Elliot’s face, for example--arguably the oldest, too. In our discussion, we hypothesized that the Hacker is Elliot’s ideal vision of himself: stronger, tougher, bolder, more closed off, incapable of being hurt, prone to single-minded pursuits. I think he was the original personality, too. First he looks like Elliot. But more importantly, he’s so clearly the Protector, and that’s the paradigmatic reason to have a separate personality: to protect the person from their own trauma or abuse. He doesn’t seem to have a strong sense of Elliot’s past: consider the murkiness of the Window Incident throughout the show (was he pushed? did he jump? why did he jump? what immediately precipitated this incident?) or how he doesn’t remember Darlene in S1. This fits with him as an ideal, also. He‘s very similar to Elliot, but he doesn’t remember a lot of his worst trauma and he’s not open to new relationships that could cause him more pain. He can shut off absolutely everything else to accomplish a task, and that task is usually about fixing some kind of wrong or injustice: often sending (child) abusers to prison, but sometimes, y’know, solving the world’s inequality crisis or whatever.

Mr. Robot is Elliot’s anger but he’s also that voice in Elliot’s head giving advice, moving and manipulating his main alter, the counterpart to that alter--I think this is because he looks like Elliot’s father, and this weird duality reflects Elliot’s feelings about his father. He’s terrifying but Elliot is dependent on him, too.

So, here’s sort of how I see it at this point. Mr. Robot is a later-formed personality that for some reason hatches this fsociety plan, this major hack against ECorp focused on debt eradication specifically. He brings a lot of it together and then recruits the Hacker to the plan. The Hacker is necessary because he has skills, or personality traits, that are integral to the plan. In many ways, its great for him: he likes helping people and he likes throwing himself into big projects and this is both! Mr. Robot is always supposed to be the Hacker’s handler, in a sense, keeping him focused on the job, directing him, but the Hacker (unlike the other personalities) does not know he is an alter, and he takes increasing amounts of control. What we perceive as a fight between “real” personality and alter in S2-S3 is really, of course, a fight between 2 alters, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, but I do think ultimately it is about this alter taking too much control. I don’t get quite HOW Mr. Robot was supposed to wrangle him because he does not seem to be much of a better angel in the first 3 seasons, other than perhaps keeping him on task. BUT now the Hacker seems too much on task. He is solidified into an outsized version of all of these traits: he’s cut off from feelings, he’s protecting himself from everything, he will do everything for this mission, he has no morality outside of this mission, no second thoughts, etc. Cold and safe and focused on the Greater Good. I’m not sure how Mr. Robot as he’s seen in S1-S3 is supposed to mitigate that.

Another question is: why the ECorp hack? Why that target? This is very different than going after child molesters. It’s not just bigger, it’s a completely different type of evil. Also, while he has a personal stake in hating ECorp, he’s not directing his energies to the disaster at the plant specifically. We know what that looks like--it’s what Angela does in S2. Also, both Angela and Darlene seem much more upset about that than Elliot; for Elliot, it’s wrapped up in his complicated (to say the least) relationship with his father. Going after the debt ECorp holds is a pretty random target everything considered. He doesn’t seem deeply in debt himself.

BUT Angela is and we’re reminded of this often in S1. Could it have been about her?

I’m still not entirely sure why the plan originates with Mr. Robot, except that his skills--more people-oriented, for sure--would have been more useful in collecting the group in the first place. Also, the Hacker was shielding himself from Darlene’s existence altogether at that time, which would make reaching out to her, an apparent stranger, more difficult.

Anyway these are a lot of thoughts.

One more thing: I know I’ve previously been ambivalent at best about the last minute inclusion of a giant world-spanning, history-spanning conspiracy centered around a singular group of powerful international figures. It’s not satisfying--imo it’s less satisfying than whiterose, head of the Internet Mafia--but this is S4 and it’s easier to wrap things up when you have a singular bad guy so like I get it, I guess. But the way Elliot described it to Olivia today was definitely like Illuminati Time and I rolled my eyes a little.

NO idea where all this came from but it’s late and my eyes hurt. Still two more days this week ugh.... Can this week be salvaged in ANY way?

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #2021: mr robot

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deckoutinstars-blog · 7 years ago

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Episode 3 x 12

Season 3b, please treat us all well.

So here goes~

1. lol leaking

2. so he can get hurt but he can’t die... interesting~

3. but Cain, this is the guy who is sick of being alive

4. chlO you so perdy

5. HAHAHAHAH MAze you’re so astute now “this is the human thing when you’re angry at something else but you taking it out on me right?”

6. and the AH when Chloe started talking about luci like ofc chloe whatever else could drive you up the wall like that

7. I love LOVE chlo’s coats like ma gurl you have a whole walk-in wardrobe full of those things or what

8. I can’t get used to this diminished ella like her personality makes up half her size. stupid marcus.

9. something about luci bouncing down the path to get to the rest while yelling his conversation for one and all to hear is just so adorbs

10. she’s just so ready to give him chances tho and she gets let down so many times :<

11. LOL senior moment

12. and she’s off the rail here I don’t think she’s yelled so loud at him before.

13. and THANK YOU Dr Linda for pointing out the obvious to Luci again

14. And I thought we went through this before man about being in their shoes oh man Luci you’re suppose to make progress sometime before AD6000?

15. /facepalms/

16. Oh ella my poor baby

17. and oh dear chlo why are you looking so torn up over this arse of a boss leaving

18. PMSL “angelic ways”

19. only Tom E can proclaim “detective day” and make me laugh for all the right reasons

20. ok luci nice try

21. “whose the sugar daddy” !!!!!!

22. HEIGHT DIFFERENCE WHEN CHLO IS BAREFOOTED AND STANDING WITH LUCI

23. LOL WHY LUCI WHY it’s like he’s so obsessed over her being a detective but no can I request a fanfic where Luci has a kink of Chlo being a detective or something

24. “let go!” “ok” AM SO DONE WITH YOU LUCI

25. lmao did Dan smack luci’s ass

26. barking? LOLOL

27. LOLOLOL chlo holding her jaw out of astonishment with that plot twist has to be the funniest. and I can see you don’t really need too much brainpower to be a surfer? dude this is homocide surely they told you that

28. oooo Charlotte the shark actually has a sense of justice in her she’s standing up to Cain

29. Charlotte vs Cain 1:0

30. “You managed to offend the detective more than anyone to the point when she actually divorce you” THE BURN

31. *WOLF WHISTLES* Maaaaaan I’m soooo into big muscles you don’t even know

32. ok luci? I don’t think plants drink whisky is there enough water in there for it to photosynthesise?

33. maan Kevin you got form~

34. ok chlo ma lady keep it in gurl keep it in you only knew him for like less than 6 episodes??

35. “I want to die” same here mate, same here

36. hey I know all that celestial talk is important but someone keep an eye out for Dan yo? thank Dad for chloe decker. wow. that’s literally who we need to thank when it comes to chloe’s existence.

37. the paddle out ceremony was oddly touching

38. LMAO chlo looked like she wanted to cry at the new filing system

39. ok everyone is saying how luci is putty in chloe’s hand? she’s not far from that herself look at how fast her anger dissipated once lucifer said the case mattered to him because it matter to her AWWWWW

40. LOL my married parents enjoying champagne and casually pissing off the beachfront property owner bless nothing felt more right his episode than watching them do the banter totally in sync with each other

41. Justine that’s cold man justine

42. bless ella she’s so sweet and forgiving

43. ooooo I’d ride that...The bike, not Pierce.

44. ok no I’m confused how did Lucifer getting his wings back ruin Cain’s plan? he still did what he did??? I don’t get it Lucifer

I don’t get it but I personally thought this was not too bad as a whole actually? I mean we definitely had better, and more fast-paced ones, but we see him face consequences from what he did previous (previous) episode, and we finally see the frustrations that must have snowballed all the way from season 2 finally starting to bubble up in Chloe and she’s lashing out at the people around her like FINALLY

Loved that part with Charlotte, only a small scene but we see her “spark” as ella would have put it growing when she stood up against a bully rather than help defend them as the old her would have done.

Overall, Cain as a character is still an ass but he just wants to die on some parts I can relate.

#lucifer #lucifer on fox #Lucifer Morningstar #chloe decker #marcus pierce

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handle-with-utmost-care · 7 years ago

Text

Cheerleader/Soccer player PART 5

Ok so I wrote this series years ago (i think like 4 yrs lmao) and I had a very uncharacteristic urge to finish several stuff I have lingering about..

and this was one of them…IDK If anyone is still interested in reading? Lol or even remember? Or maybe you’re new here bc of riptide but lmao surprise I wrote this cringe drabble that turned into a 5 part fic :)

I am like...70% embarrassed by this fic bc i hate mostly every previous part. it was hard to continue bc I had to get over my crippling distaste for sudden POV changes. maybe someday when I’m not too caught up in my own procrastination I’ll go back and rewrite and flesh out this mess and post it on AO3, but for now this’ll have to do.

to the person constantly harassing me to finish it YOU KNOW WHAT ANNIE I FUCKING IFNALLY DID IT OKAY. MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU ASS! @cherylsbosom

also apologies for any typos

PART 5

“Alright, status report girls.”

“I thought we were dropping the fancy lingo?”

“Yeah it’s kinda confusing to keep up with.”

“Status report,” Ally Brooke repeats, sharply eyeing the girls on her bed.

She had invited Dinah and Normani after school to continue discussing a potential plan B.

But from the looks of it, Ally’s got the distinct impression that that’s the last thing on their minds. If their giggling over Dinah’s phone was any obvious indication.

Ally clears her throat pointedly. When that has no effect, Ally stomps her foot. “Girls!”

Dinah drops her phone and Normani’s laughter immediately tapers off.

“We have to focus here. Lives are at stake,” Ally says, as she flips open to the newest empty page in her notepad.

Normani gives her a look of disbelief. Ally almost flushes at the expression, because, okay, maybe she is still getting a bit carried away with this Operation Camren thing.

But she had convinced herself that Camila and Lauren were both too stubborn to realize the obvious. This was all for the sake of love.

And Ally was a firm believer in doing things for the sake of love.

Her eyes glance down at the notepad in time to realize she had already spelled out the mortifying title. She hastily scribbles it out before the girls can see. Normani’s expression turns into an annoyed eye roll.

Fortunately she doesn’t comment, much to the Ally’s relief.

“Mila’s not doing so well,” Dinah says, finally returning her complete attention on the topic at hand. “She’s been ditching soccer practice lately and she never wants to leave her room whenever I try to invite her to go out.”

Ally figured as much. It’s been almost a month since that awful incident at the party, an incident that Camila has been very close lipped about.

Ally had lost count of the number of times she tried to get the girl to open up. Inevitably, each time had always ended in a very indignant frown and an annoyed: “Just drop it Ally, everything is fine, okay?”

Ally wouldn’t press after that. But it was clear that everything most definitely was not okay.

“Lauren is bitchier than usual and I don’t think it has anything to do with the freshman cheerleaders fucking up the pyramid formation,” Normani admits after a while.

Ally sighs at this. She’d been aware of the head cheerleader’s mood swings, witnessing a firsthand account of it yesterday when Lauren completely chewed out a freshman for missing a step in the routine. An honest mistake that really didn’t deserve such a harsh scolding.

Ally had tried to calm Lauren down at the time, but she was having none of it. Instead, Lauren had chosen to stomp off and cut practice short.

Normally, this wouldn’t exactly worry Ally. It wasn’t anything new for Lauren to throw tantrums when things weren’t going her way. But for the tantrums to be so closely followed by a complete emotional 180 was something to be concerned about. And recently Ally had caught Lauren in a state of severe melancholy.

It was a draining experience hanging out with the girls only to have Lauren bringing the atmosphere down with the frequent amount of times she would frown sadly. Or respond sadly. Or even just breathe sadly. Ally had lost count of the sudden urges to shake Lauren and demand what was wrong.

But then, Ally would catch Lauren staring at Camila.

And she had decided that perhaps leaving them alone really was the best option.

Ally plops down at the edge of the bed, defeated.

“And I really thought this was all going to work out.”

“Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be,” Normani offers, as she inspects her nails. “Even though their horoscopes say they’re totally compatible.”

Ally doesn’t question how Normani even knows Camila’s birthday.

Another month passes. Another month of the same strained atmosphere. Ally is sure the rest of the cheerleaders have picked up on their leader’s flip flopped mood swings. The girls on the squad learned to leave a wide span between themselves and Lauren.

The soccer team wasn’t faring much better. Ally had noticed Camila’s performance out on the field had suffered drastically to the point that she’d been sitting out on the bench more often than not.

It was a dreary month for all of them, despite the rapidly approaching homecoming game. Something that she, Lauren, and Normani had excitedly talked about at the beginning of the school year was a topic that had been seemingly forgotten.

Yet the school didn’t share the same sentiment. Everywhere, people were buzzing with pregame excitement weeks before. Hallways were adorned with bright posters and decorations. The school’s PA always made sure to add a final comment reminding students to buy their tickets. Many conversations between classes were heard predicting the outcome of the game.

Today isn’t any different, Ally thinks as she pushes past a group of guys on the football team hyping the other up. She rolls her eyes. The action makes her stop before the cafeteria. She wasn’t like this. Usually she’d join in on the hype. Relish in it.

This whole Lauren and Camila is seriously putting a damper in my mental well being too.

She sighs, pushing through the double doors leading to the cafeteria, feeling a wave of despair at the thought.

The cafeteria is loud and rowdy. More than usual, Ally notices. Her eyes flit over to the source of the noise to find a growing throng of students near the far end of the room.

The shouts and jeers echo across the cafeteria walls, mixing into a cacophonous mess. Ally can’t exactly discern what is being said or cheered. But from the school spirit that’s been thrust in her face recently she thinks she has a pretty good guess.

For a moment, Ally panics that this was a planned lunch event she forgot about, or in one of Lauren’s irrational moods, she’d decided to have an impromptu pep rally to punish the squad.

Ally quickly rifles through her bag, pulling out her weekly planner. After flipping to the latest date, relief spreads through her chest.

No. No scheduled event.

More students gravitate towards the crowd. Ally pushes through several people, in the opposite direction, until she finds Normani.

“What’s going on?” Ally questions, sidling up beside the girl. Normani simply shakes her head.

“I don’t know.”

Ally opens her mouth but Normani quickly cuts in.

“And no, I don’t want to know.”

Ally pouts at her indifference.

The both of them make their way to their usual table. And when Lauren joins them a few moments later, she makes no indication that she’s noticed the unusual overly eager students.

Well that rules out an impromptu pep rally.

Lauren takes a seat. Ally immediately feels a wave of sympathy upon seeing her friend. She takes in Lauren’s miserable frown, the distressed knit of her eyebrows and downcast eyes.

This was probably worse than the random angry outbursts the past month. Seeing Lauren so dejected always managed to pull at her heartstrings.

“Hey girl,” Ally greets, moving to take the seat across from her. Lauren barely lifts up her gaze as she tosses her food with the fork in her other hand.

“Hey,” she answers, casting her eyes down upon the untouched food again.

“You want some of my fruit salad?” Normani probes.” My mom put in some mangos, I know you like them.”

Lauren doesn’t even flinch at the uncharacteristically nice gesture.

“Maybe later.”

Ally and Normani exchange a look. This behavior had seemed to be going further and further into a downward spiral as the weeks progressed. Ally was almost tempted to go through with her intervention.

Look how your meddling turned out.

Maybe Normani was right. Maybe it would be just best to leave them alone.

Ally sighs, before pulling out her own lunch.

The crowd continues to go on strong. The jeers and sneers reverberate throughout the lunchroom even more so than before.

Ally begins to notice that the majority of students are starting to swarm the crowd. Her eyes glance around the people trying to determine the situation. That’s when she realizes something that makes her stomach drop.

“I think that’s the soccer team’s table,” Ally says. The tone of her voice grabs both girls’ attention. She watches as Lauren’s eyes dart towards the crowd and the similar conclusion comes to her. Her expression instantly sparks to life.

Lauren is out of her seat before Ally has time to register anything. She doesn’t even have time to tell her to wait because in the next second Lauren is shoving people out of the way and disappearing among the mass of students.

“Come on,” Ally blurts out, tugging Normani up from her seat to chase after her.

Their process is a lot less effortless than Lauren who had people parting like the red sea after her aggressive pushes.

It’s probably because of the hastily muttered excuse me’s that fall from Ally’s lips. Eventually Normani becomes so frustrated that she just hollers a very loud MOVE.

The students finally part, allowing them to push through until they reach the table…. only to realize that they’re too late.

Ally feels her blood turn cold when she sees her friends.

Slowly, her senses come into focus. And she realizes, dizzily, that cheering she heard earlier were actually people chanting FIGHT.

Dinah and one of the freshmen on the cheer squad are in an intense hair pulling scuffle, while Lauren is on the floor trying to aim a punch on another beneath her, who Ally suddenly recognizes as the girl Lauren chewed out at practice what felt like forever ago.

Ally lunges forward trying to pull Lauren up from the girl, as Normani attempts to pry apart the two other girls beside them.

She manages to get Lauren to her feet, not without a ridiculous amount of struggle. Because then Lauren keeps attempting to hit the girl on the floor. The victim of Lauren’s assault isn’t making things any easier for her either, as she continuously claws at them until Ally gets caught in the fray.

Ally feels her hair being yanked in an awkward angle painfully.

God, if she wasn’t a pacifist she swears she would –

“Stop! Stop! Stop this immediately what on earth are all of you – girls STOP IT!”

The sound of the principal makes them all spring apart from each other.

The six girls are huffing and red faced, attempting to catch their breaths.

Ally’s hand instantly comes to gingerly rub her sore scalp, before scowling at the culprit for the hair pulling. The freshman’s eye is already swelling, and Ally tries to quell the silly surge of pride towards Lauren for getting her good.

She glances at Lauren, sighing in relief that her friend looks unscathed for the most part. Her eyes then come to Dinah and Normani. Dinah is pouting as she tries to fix her mussed hair and Normani is pressing her fingers to her bottom lip in search of blood.

Ally sighs again, and that’s when she remembers the last girl. She searches in a frenzy for Camila, praying she wasn’t a part of this. But then she sees the soccer player, gaping wordlessly at them …completely covered in food.

The principal turns his attention towards them all.

“You seven. My office. Now.”

A month’s worth of scraping gum off the cafeteria tables seems a lot better than a potential suspension. Ally will take what she can get, she decides as they all disperse from the principal’s office.

The two offending freshmen pull Lauren aside to beg for forgiveness. Though from Lauren’s stony expression, Ally figures Lauren is already planning to kick them off the team. But then is momentarily shocked when Lauren accepts their apology stiffly, followed by a malicious threat to stay in line.

(Later on, Ally would find out the girls’ had decided to go after Camila in a misguided attempt lighten up their captain’s somber mood).

“Did you see that girl’s eye? You got her so good, Laurenzo. I’m kind of proud,” Dinah compliments, after the two girls slink away. Lauren’s lips tilt into a small smile.

“Yeah but you practically pulled out her entire weave. That’s impressive,” Lauren responds, a smile finally breaking out.

Not that Ally condones fighting, because, like, she so doesn’t, but it’s nice seeing them get along. Albeit for the wrong reasons. But there’s something so amazing seeing Dinah nudging Lauren in that friendly manner. As if they’d known each other their entire lives.

“You both are ridiculous,” Normani snaps. “I literally just got my nails done yesterday and this happened.” She lifts her hand up to show off a broken middle fingernail. They both laugh and after a while Normani cracks a grin. “But okay, yeah it was kind of bad ass.”

“Kind of? Did you see the other girls?” Dinah demands.

“I don’t really understand how you’re all so happy. We got a month’s detention because you guys can’t communicate like normal people.” Camila’s voice pierces through the lighthearted atmosphere. Ally almost forgets her presence because she had been so silent during their walk through the hallway.

She watches as Camila pulls out a spaghetti noodle from her hair and flicks it to the floor.

“We were defending you,” Lauren mumbles after a while.

“I didn’t ask you to,” Camila snaps. “I was handling it.”

“Clearly,” Lauren mumbles sarcastically.

“You know what?” Camila whirls around. “I don’t need your sarcasm. And I don’t need your stupid sympathy, okay? Today wouldn’t have even happened if you weren’t such a bitch.”

Lauren visibly recoils.

“Mila,” Ally begins but the soccer player shoots her a glare.

“No, don’t do that-“

“It wasn’t my fault,” Lauren begins hotly.

“Like you didn’t plan to have them dump the entire squad’s lunch on me. I have spaghetti noodles in places there shouldn’t be!” Camila snaps.

“Mila, she didn’t know that those girls were going to do that to you. You really think she would send those cheerleaders after you?” Dinah questions.

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

It’s the statement that does it. That plunges the atmosphere completely into a subzero level. That makes Lauren look completely heartbroken. That actually breaks Ally’s heart.

It’s another week of radio silence between the two. Another week of Ally and Normani (and now on occasion Dinah), watching Lauren sigh dejectedly into her food during lunch. Sometimes she’d cast a few sad looks over to the soccer team’s table. And the girls would look upon her sympathetically.

Lauren didn’t know which was worse.

The pity or being ignored. While one was infuriating as hell, the other just…hurt.

This morning in particular was brutal. She had run into Camila in the hallway, accidentally knocking her duffel bag from her shoulder. When she tried to reach down to grab it, Camila scrambled to pick it up herself and hurried away head bowed. The exchange – or lack of one – left Lauren feeling like she was a ghost.

“Would you just talk to her?” Normani groans exasperatedly after Lauren recounts the events to the three of them in Ally’s room after school.

“She practically hates my guts.” Lauren mutters into her pillow.

“Look, as much as I love kicking you especially when you’re down I don’t think I can take any more of your moping. It’s actually starting to depress me,” Normani sighs, sitting down beside Lauren on the bed. “And I doubt she hates you.”

“Yeah, it’s impossible for Mila to hate anything,” Dinah chimes in from her spot on the floor.

“Except me.”

“She’s just really upset right now, Lauren,” Ally supplies. “And rightfully so. You really did a number on her. What the heck did you even say to her at the party?”

At this, Lauren feels her face redden with shame.

She had toyed with the idea of telling them, but she feared that they would hate her more than she hated herself. And she wasn’t ready for any more negativity.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lauren mumbles. “It was…it was really bad. And I feel really shitty for it too.”

“Then tell her that,” Normani snaps.

That’s easier said than being done, Lauren thinks. She makes a small grunt that earns an eye roll from her friend.

Ally comes to sit next to her and places a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Lauren, we’ve all seen the way you look at her.”

Lauren freezes at this. It’s the first time they all sort of acknowledge the big pink elephant of the room that is her more than platonic feelings for the soccer player. And she almost expects mockery or insults. But when she glances up to find them all staring at her supportively, she feels a deep seated worry slowly dissipate.

“And we’re all more than positive she feels the same way,” Ally continues, saying just the right thing to settle her confused doubt.

“Really?”

“Girl, of course she does,” Dinah adds in. “She looks at you like you put the pineapples on her pizza.”

“That’s disgusting, Dinah,” Normani retorts with a fake gag.

“Well where else are you supposed to put pineapples?”

“Um, not on a pizza.”

“It’s called Hawaiian pizza.”

“All that should be on my pizza is pepperoni and cheese,” Normani argues stubbornly.

“How can you not like pineapples on pizza? Who doesn’t like pineapples on pizza?” Dinah demands turning to look at them incredulously.

“I like Canadian bacon,” Ally says unhelpfully.

Lauren tunes the rest of the conversation after the two decide to settle the matter by ordering pizza. Her thoughts stray to the soccer player. And a pang of guilt hits her.

When the pizza arrives twenty minutes later, Normani demands (through a mouth full of Hawaiian pizza) that Lauren take her self-pitying ass next door and grovel for forgiveness.

Dinah agrees, and Ally rephrases that advice in a more encouraging manner. The thumbs up did little for her self esteem as they all but threw her out of Ally’s room and confiscated her phone lest she try to uber it back home.

And that’s really how she finds herself on Camila Cabello’s doorstep, desperately trying to think of ways to get out of knocking.

It’s stupid. This is dumb. There’s no way – absolutely no way Camila would even want to see her. The past week, the soccer player has been pointedly avoiding her.

No, that was an understatement. Lauren was getting the cold shoulder. That blatant icy treatment that left her feeling even worse than before the stupid cafeteria incident.

The last thing Camila had said to her was still plaguing her mind. Camila had insulted her, offended every nerve that could possibly be offended and yet Lauren knew she deserved it. Dinah may have been right – it wasn’t possible for Camila to hate anyone. But reducing Camila to the type of person who could be so incredibly harsh to another person just made the situation all the more worse.

Camila hated her. It wasn’t even something to debate.

Lauren hesitates ringing the doorbell. Her fingertips ghost across the button, brushing the smooth surface uncertainly.

A hundred and one things filter through her head and they all revolve around the girl somewhere behind the door.

She doesn’t get a chance to summon up much courage because in the next second the door is flying open and the Camila Cabello is standing before her.

She doesn’t look as surprised as Lauren feels, which is more than a little disheartening, but she tries not to let it faze her. Instead, she straightens up, almost to the point of rigidity.

Relax Lauren. Jesus. Okay. Here we go-

“What are you doing here?” Camila asks just as Lauren begins to form the apology that was burning to in the back of her throat ever since she Camila ran out of her bedroom crying.

Lauren hesitates, suddenly feeling the little flicker of confidence she fabricated fade away. Camila looks all around unimpressed with her display and this only serves to turn her nerves into jelly. Abort, Lauren. Abort.

NO. You will fucking stay and say your peace or so help me god you dumb shit.

“I asked you a question,” Camila snaps. It seems strange, so completely out of character seeing her so angry. There’s a venom that wasn’t there before in her voice, in her sharp expression that leaves Lauren wishing she had come better prepared for this.

A stab of guilt pricks at her chest as she realizes the only person who made this happen was herself.

Lauren swallows thickly, fiddling with the bracelet on her wrist. The attempt to occupy herself with something besides Camila’s steely gaze is pitiful. But then again, she is a coward. She’s not even sure she can look the girl in the eye anymore.

“Look, if you’re not gonna say anything you might as well just –“

“-I’m sorry!” Lauren blurts out. The desperation of the outcry overwhelms her. She’s not going anywhere until she makes Camila listen – to everything. Because she knows deep down this is her only chance. Her only shot at fixing anything that she’s so despicably good at fucking up.

Camila’s glare softens slightly. It’s very miniscule but it gives Lauren the hope she needs.

“I’m sorry, Camila,” she says again, internally quivering at the name that rolls so effortlessly off her tongue. It comes out so naturally, almost as if it had always sort of had its own place in her voice. As if she was supposed to say it over and over again. Which, admittedly she would do…in the privacy of her room…in the dead of night…where literally no one would be able to hear.

(Of course she would deny ever doing that if anyone asked her).

But it’s the first time she’s ever called Camila by her name. Well the first time non insultingly. And it’s something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the both of them. Lauren feels her face flush suddenly, and Camila’s eyebrows rise.

“Camila,” she pauses, feeling the nervous little buzz building in her stomach at the name. “I didn’t – look, about what happened at the party – I didn’t mean it.”

Camila’s eyes narrow and the walls are back up again.

“It sure didn’t sound like it. Just because you defended me last week, which I didn’t even freaking ask you to do by the way, doesn’t mean I’m going to be welcoming you into my life with open arms,” Camila says. “You humiliated me.”

“I know.”

“No. I don’t think you do, Lauren. It hurt. Like a lot, okay?” Camila blurts out. “I’m not even sure I can forgive you.”

Lauren feels that little glimmer of hope crash dive. This isn’t going as planned. Oh what did she know? There weren’t any plans or any go-to instructions for this kind of situation. How were you even supposed to convince the girl that you’ve been stupidly in love with for four years that you want her?

She flushes at the thought and the familiar wave of denial bubbles up in the pit of her stomach. She can barely even admit that fact inside her own head. How could she possibly even begin to explain it to Camila?

The girl practically thinks she hates her, which she doesn’t. Oh god, she doesn’t even hate her at all.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Camila,” Lauren begins, feeling her voice tremble. “I really don’t. I just – I just wanted to explain.”

Camila stares at her expectantly.

“I didn’t know what people were going to think if they found out,” Lauren mutters and Camila rolls her eyes.

“That’s not enough.”

“I was scared.”

“That’s still not enough.”

“Camila, please.”

She sees the girl’s expression soften again, the aggression slowly crumbling away. It gives her the courage she needs, the motivation to bring down her own stupid barrier preventing her from being vulnerable.

And this time, when Camila speaks her anger has soundly melted. “Don’t be scared.”

It’s just a small request, not even louder than a whisper but Lauren can hear it. The conviction behind the three words. The ounce of moral support beneath them. The figurative hesitant arms being slowly opened for her to walk into and it’s enough.

Lauren takes a deep breath, her heart pounding. She swallows thickly and tries to calm the rapid beating.

“I really didn’t mean what I said to you at the party,” she begins

Lauren almost anticipates Camila to make another sarcastic comment, but she simply stares at her so she continues.

“I didn’t mean it when I told you that there wasn’t anything that would happen between us. I didn’t believe it in the slightest because…I wanted something to happen,” she admits in a rush. “And all that stuff about you being no one was just about the shittiest thing I’ve ever said and I feel terrible. It’s not true at all, Camila. Not even a little bit. I was just – I wanted to hurt you because I was the one feeling like the loser. I’m a shitty person know I am.”

“You’re not a shitty person Lauren,” Camila sighs wearily. The admittance makes her hesitate. Makes her stop and stare at Camila keenly, feeling her chest ache suddenly.

Even in her anger, Camila will still defend her. Lauren isn’t even sure if this should please or upset her.

“I am though. And it’s not even about the night of the party. I know I’ve put you through hell for like years. I’ve just been such an idiot about all of this because I was just so fucking scared of what it all meant.” She stops and runs a nervous hand through her hair. “Because I’ve never felt this way, like ever about anyone and I knew, deep down that you had the power to hurt me in the worst way. And I just, like I just refused to give you that power so I thought that if I hurt you first…” Lauren trails off, shaking her head. The shame that’s kept her up all night for weeks manages to creep back up.

She averts her gaze, feeling the all too familiar burning stinging building. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of Camila.

“It’s stupid I know,” Lauren mumbles. “It makes no sense – that logic. I’m an idiot and I don’t want to be that person anymore. I don’t want to be that person who gets scared over every fucking little thing, or the person who cares more about her popularity than the things that really matter. I just don’t care about that stuff anymore. Camila, I don’t care. I don’t even – I can’t even properly articulate how fucking sorry I am. For everything. For making your feelings seem like they don’t matter because they do, Camila. They matter so much to me. And…I’m done belittling my own feelings as well because…because they matter too.”

She feels Camila’s eyes burning into the side of her face, almost as if prompting her to turn and face her. But she’s afraid of what she’ll see. Disgust? Anger?

She doesn’t expect the softness. She doesn’t expect the understanding. She doesn’t expect the feel of her fingertips brushing against her. In comfort. Acceptance.

Camila’s warm hands come to grip hers, undoing her tight fist. She feels a palm press into hers and it feels so incredibly intimate that Lauren is almost tempted to pull away. The sudden fear springs up again. The fear of being hurt.

But when she looks up at Camila’s face again, the fear melts.

“What do you feel?” Camila asks gently.

She poses the question that went unanswered in that stuffy room during the party. She’s opening the door of vulnerable opportunity. She’s allowing Lauren a second chance. One that she knows she doesn’t deserve.

A gentle squeeze of their hands prompts Lauren to speak again.

“I feel…” Lauren’s voice dies, as a lump forms in her throat. It’s stupid to get this emotional, she thinks. But god it’s been such a long time since she’s felt anything remotely similar to this. “I feel a lot,” she finishes lamely.

Camila tilts her head. For a second, Lauren feels that she’s going to laugh at her dumb attempt at opening up. But Camila is patient, something that Lauren is beginning to feel grateful for. She’s nothing like Lauren.

“I think you should know, that I…” Lauren trails off uncertainly. She stammers on the spot for a moment. It takes another gentle squeeze for Lauren to calm her nerves. “I think you're the most irritatingly adorable person I've met. I get butterflies every time I'm even in the same room as you, or even when you just look at me because you make me so nervous. And you make me doubt everything and it pisses me off but at the same time I love it because it’s you.” She pauses, releasing a shaky breath. "You’re just – like – I don’t even think you realize how extraordinary you are Camila.”

Lauren averts her eyes. Blearily glowering down at her shoes. Shifting weight between each foot. But Camila’s hand is still in hers. Intertwined. Giving Lauren just enough courage to continue.

“And I know it’s stupid because I’ve been such a bitch to you all of these years. I know it probably doesn’t mean much to you, saying all of this now. I just,” Lauren pauses, searching for the proper words. Her pounding heart isn’t exactly making it any easier. Camila staring at her so intensely isn’t making it any easier either. “I just wanted your attention. And I didn't care if it was negative attention.”

Lauren lets out a shuddering breath. The hand in hers loosens, and Lauren quickly tightens it, keeping their fingers firmly interlocked.

“I wanted your eyes on me. I wanted you to know me. That’s what I’ve always ever wanted, Camila."

The homecoming game falls on a chilly Friday night in October. The winds send a biting chill as the sun falls into its daily descent. The bright lights of the stadium highlights the puffs of breaths exhaled from excited students as they find their seats on the bleachers.

The football teams congregate on either side of the field, huddling for their plays. The cheerleaders form a tight group on the track, coming closer for warmth behind their short, pleated skirts, awaiting their captain’s presence.

The frosty air extends past the field, curling and slithering beneath the cracks of the school’s double doors, spreading through the empty hallways. Even faintly permeating within the small confines of the girl’s locker room. Where the conveniently absent head cheerleader has dragged a more than willing soccer player away from the loud crowded football field.

Lauren presses Camila up against the locker. She feels Camila squirm beneath her weight and she gets a thrill out of it. Her lips brush against Camila’s forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her chin, finally resting upon her mouth. Lauren moves them slow and sensually, closing and parting her lips in a delicious rhythm she has become quite familiar with.

Lauren parts her lips again, taking in the Camila’s bottom lip. Her teeth close around them, almost playfully. It would be playful if Lauren’s hands aren’t currently trying to cop a feel beneath the girl’s shirt.

Camila pulls away breathlessly. Her pants beat enticingly against Lauren’s lips, tempting her to close the gap again. But Camila is resilient, even angling her body away slightly.

“Did the girls give you a hard time?” Camila asks, her hands loosening their tight grip in her hair.

“No, it’s not halftime yet.”

Camila nods and leans back against the locker again.

“Do you think they suspect anything?”

“Please. The girls are still betting on Ally’s dumb Operation Camren plan,” Lauren scoffs. Camila laughs. Lauren feels Camila’s fingers play with the ends of her hair, twirling a few strands.

The uneven pace from the kissing has melted, warming Lauren up inside, as if she had her own personal Camila sweater. The thought almost makes her cringe. When did she turn into such a sap?

“You know, without Ally’s dumb plan this probably wouldn’t have happened,” Camila murmurs.

Lauren wants to disagree. She wants to protest and go through her detailed argument of how very much it would have happened anyway. How they were inevitable from the very beginning. It was only a matter of time because they were made for each other.

But it’s stupid and makes her sound like a weenie, even in her head.

Lauren is a lot of things. But she is most definitely not a weenie.

“Should we thank her?”

“Hmm, probably not,” Camila says, glancing down at Lauren’s lips. “I think she’ll be disappointed that she couldn’t plan our first date.”

There’s always the wedding.

For a horrifying second, Lauren almost says that out loud. It takes her a moment to recover from her almost blunder. She secretly thanks the big man upstairs for gracing her with the ability to keep her mouth shut.

(She makes a mental note to go with Ally to church more often).

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Lauren finally responds, eyes roaming across Camila’s face. Her flushed expression. Her red, bruised lips, tousled hand blown out eyes. Lauren feels a quiver of happiness and something not quite as innocent fluttering below her waist. Her nails dance around her skin lightly. Camila shivers beneath her touch.

“Are you cold?” Lauren asks in a soft voice.

Camila glances up at her from beneath her eyelashes and Lauren swears she feels her heart stop.

“A little,” Camila murmurs. Lauren doesn’t hesitate in shrugging off her lettermen and draping it over Camila’s shoulders. “Wait, no I was kidding kind of. You can’t give me this you’re gonna get cold and plus everyone is going to see-“

“I’m not gonna need it during the routine,” Lauren reassures in that same soft tone. “And you’re my girlfriend now. Let everyone see.”

Oh god, did that really come out of my mouth? That stupid cheesey dumb good for nothing line that’ll probably make Camz totally cringe. that’s it I’m becoming a Satanist –

But then she looks at Camila and she’s is staring right back at her with an expression Lauren can’t quite put her finger on. But it easily becomes one of her favorites.

She doesn’t get a chance to speak because Camila is pulling her face down for another long, deep kiss. Their lips move at a heated pace. Lauren can feel the message conveyed in the very contours of Camila’s mouth.

I love you.

It’s not time yet. It’s too soon.

But eventually.

Ally bundles up in her letterman, standing next to Normani on the track field. The noise of chatter from the onlookers on the bleachers is a comforting sound, setting in her cold body pleasantly. Her eyes glance towards the football field, watching her boyfriend Troy in his gear, stretching by the bench, before running out into the field to replace another player. It’s the last game of the season and the excitement is tangible.

“Any sign of Lauren? The quarter is about to end. We already be preparing for the routine,” Normani complains.

As if on cue, the head cheerleader runs on to the field hurriedly, looking much too flushed for this cold weather.

“Hey,” Lauren greets, unevenly, making Ally and Normani exchange a furtive look. Lauren catches this. “What?”

“You’re all red,” Ally supplies, rather sheepishly because thinking of Lauren doing whatever she was doing (or who she was doing, rather), isn’t something she wants to picture.

“And you’re …flustered.” Normani smirks.

“Where’s your jacket?” Ally adds.

Finally Lauren snaps. “What is with the third degree? Jesus, I’m here aren’t I? You know what just get into formation.”

Both Ally and Normani resist the urge to laugh at the blushing girl.

Ally doesn’t have the heart to tease her further. Instead, she follows Lauren’s lead, falling into place with the rest of the cheerleaders.

However, as the routine progresses, Ally can’t help but notice something –someone – emerging from the very same double doors their head cheerleader had burst from just moments ago. Out comes a very flustered, but very happy soccer player, wearing a very familiar letterman jacket. And if Ally hadn’t noticed Lauren’s obvious shivering, the fact that Jauregui was engraved across the back in gold letters was telling enough.

Ally watches as Camila practically skips up towards the bleachers to sit beside Dinah, looking absurdly pleased with herself. The sight brings a silly grin to Ally’s face.

She glances over to Lauren who is too busy staring down at her shoes. But Ally notices the distinct pink tinge to her cheeks.

Her attention shifts to Normani and sees that she, too, notices Camila’s sudden wardrobe change. Normani smirks. But both remained tightlipped.

Once halftime is over, Ally watches as Lauren scurries back through the double doors leading to the locker rooms. She doesn’t even wait to have a quick debriefing of their routine, which Ally finds almost irresponsible. Well, she’ll talk to her about that later. It’s not like she doesn’t know what’s got Lauren all flouncy. Or who.

As if to further demonstrate this, Dinah approaches Ally and Normani down from the bleachers with a smug expression on her face.

“I see Laurenzo isn’t with you.”

Normani glances over Dinah’s shoulder.

“Neither is Camila,” Normani states, a matching smirk growing on her face.

They all sort of giggle at their observation.

Camila and Lauren were not discreet at all. Whatever secret they think they had was about as subtle as a neon sign. A blinking one. With dancing interchangeable lights. And fireworks lighting up in the background.

If all of the times Ally’s caught Lauren waiting by Camila’s locker weren’t an obvious indication. It’s probably the hickeys she’s absently seen as Lauren tries to hastily change into her uniform for practice. Or the nights she’s caught Lauren wearing what looked like one of Camila’s jerseys during sleepovers. Or the flowers Camila swears were from her father the days leading up to the game, (even though Ally distinctly remembers her father never buying flowers because of his allergies).

Not that she confronted them about it. At least not directly.

A little teasing maybe. Something that both of her snickering friends could agree with and had wholeheartedly participated in.

But no. No. She’s definitely learned her lesson about meddling…at least until that potential future wedding she’s begun making plans for comes into play.

Which, in that case, Operation Camren 2.0 is definitely a go.

A/N: happy 2018 !

#hwuc fics #wow i can't believe this happened #i still blame you #annie #camren

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cinnaminsvga · 7 years ago

Text

Lucky Save | PKMN Trainer!Jungkook

→ summary: In which Jeon Jungkook is a scatterbrained Pokemon trainer who cannot catch a break and you are the saving grace he needs.

→ genre: pokemon!au, fluff

→ words: 2K

→ a/n: happy bday kook lmao this is dedicated to our hopeless dreams of becoming a pkmn master someday rip

You would think that after six months of travelling the Alola region by himself, Jungkook should have had at least 25% of his shit together.

He had thought that he had stocked up on hyper potions and revives when he had left Seafolk Village the previous morning.

The keyword: thought.

When in fact, he had left the center without a second thought, not noticing how his backpack wasn’t as full as he had imagined. Now that he was already halfway across the island and with no other Pokemon centers in sight, you could say without a shadow of a doubt that Jeon Jungkook was fucked.

“Aw, this is definitely my fault,” he sighed in defeat, kicking his empty backpack in anger. His Incineroar, whom Jungkook had aptly nicknamed Blaze, only watched with concern as his trainer continuously kicked a nearby berry tree to alleviate his frustrations.

“Stupid, stupid—oh shit, another fucking Crabominable?!” He yelped, realizing belatedly that the pile of berries he had just kicked was the home to the angry Pokemon who wasted no time readying to attack the still distracted boy. Luckily, Blaze was more on top of things than Jungkook, so he quickly scared the crab Pokemon away with a powerful Flamethrower.

Watching the Crabonimable scuttle away, Jungkook only sent his partner a wry grin. “Well, that was close, wasn’t it?”

“Roar!” Blaze scolded, tapping his trainer’s head lightly in admonishment. Had he been a second too late, the Crabominable could have easily punted Jungkook across the island with one well-aimed punch. Blaze already had his own problems, and his trainer being punted halfway across the island would just add to his steadily growing list of concerns. (Half of which could have been avoided if Jungkook had the foresight to plan and think ahead before setting off without another thought.)

“Sorry, sorry,” Jungkook apologized meekly, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. “I keep messing up today, don’t I?”

The Incineroar only shook its head tiredly, assuring him that it could have happened to anyone (anyone as stupid as Jungkook, but Blaze kindly chose not to comment.)

Due to not having any healing items on hand, Jungkook was now down to only his Incineroar and Lycanroc (nicknamed Rock because Jungkook was creative like that.) He had to choose his battles carefully to avoid more unnecessary casualties, which was easier said than done. Mostly because there was so much—

“Fucking hell, why is there so much tall grass here?” He screeched, narrowly avoiding making eye contact with a horde of Ribombees. “Fuck, that was close. Blaze, stay close.”

Even had Jungkook not said that, Blaze was already trailing closely behind, making sure that Jungkook did not accidentally anger any more Pokemon wildlife. Truly, Blaze wondered whether he was the trainer in this relationship.

“Don’t worry, Blaze. We’re almost at the Battle Tree. I think there’s a center there where we can rest,” he said, grunting slightly as he tried climbing a huge rock. Unbeknownst to Jungkook, the rock was actually very much alive and did not appear to be happy being disturbed of its sleep.

Faster than Jungkook could utter a quiet “Oh fuck,” Blaze quickly grabbed his trainer by the waist and sprinted away in the opposite direction, unwilling to waste precious energy to defeat the large and angry Crustle.

And that, my dear reader, was how you met Jeon Jungkook:

Jungkook, being carried by the waist Simba-style by an overgrown fire cat, while also being chased by an overgrown hermit crab.

Who said first impressions had to be perfect?

You had been on the way to the Battle Tree yourself, although you could say that you were having less trouble travelling than your would-be acquaintance. You had been perched on a (real) rock with your Primarina, both of you sharing a cool lemonade before continuing on your journey when the screams of a visibly distressed boy made you pause from taking your next sip.

You side-eyed your partner to see that she was also watching the spectacle as well. She met your glance with a look of understanding, a silent conversation happening between the two of you after almost a year of travelling together.

“Yeah, yeah; I agree. We probably should help,” you eventually sighed, your eyes now trained on the trainer-Pokemon duo still running away from the enraged Crustle.

Standing up from your perch, you commanded your partner to aim straight at the Crustle’s back. “Alright, Primarina. Use Scald!”

At once, your trusty Primarina let out a blast of blistering water. It hit right on target, making the Crustle scream out in surprise and stopping it in its tracks.

Coming to a halt now that the immediate danger was busy shaking off the hot water, the Incineroar and its trainer had now noticed the pair of you, both of them running to meet you.

The trainer, still raised up in the air by his Pokemon, waved at you with a genial smile, as if he was not being chased by a giant hermit crab Pokemon just seconds ago.

“Wow, thanks for helping us! But uh, don’t rest yet, because I think the Crustle is mad at you now.”

Lo and behold, the trainer was right. When you looked back, the Crustle was in the midst of preparing to launch a Stone Edge at your Primarina, but luckily the huge Pokemon was no match when it came to your partner's speed.

“Let’s finish it off! Primarina, use Hydro Pump!”

The intense jet of water produced by Primarina promptly faints the Crustle with one blow, finally sating the Pokemon. You patted your partner’s head in thanks, to which it sang merrily back at you.

The male trainer had watched the quick defeat with a look of pure admiration in his doe-eyes. “Woah, dude. You’re super strong. We should fight!”

Amidst the afterglow of a successful battle, you had almost forgotten about the person you had defeated the Crustle for in the first place. You turned to look at your newfound acquaintance, who was no longer being held up by his Pokemon. He was now standing in front of you, a large toothy grin on his handsome face. He was holding his hand out to you, offering a handshake. After your initial hesitance, you found that his hands were soft and warm.

If you thought his hands were soft and warm, then you were definitely not prepared to witness his smile. His grin was blindingly cute, his eyes squinting adorably from the pure glee on his face.

Were you gaping? Yeah, you were gaping. Man, did you strike gold or something?

“Oh right, sorry. I have to introduce myself first before we battle. My name is Jungkook! You are?”

Still busy gaping, your Primarina nudged you out of your trance, eliciting an embarrassed blush on your end. Oops. “Uhh—Y/N. Yeah, that’s my name. Nice to meet you, Jungkook.”

“Oh, Y/N? That’s a cute name! A cute name for a cute trainer. Thank Arceus that my savior happened to be a pretty girl, right Blaze?” He giggled (HE FUCKING GIGGLED), turning to his Incineroar for confirmation. The fire cat nodded its head in agreement.

That embarrassed blush from earlier? Yup, you’re pretty sure the blush had spread all the way down to your ass at this point.

Coughing the slight awkwardness away, you managed to ask, "Uh, before we battle, may I ask why you were running away from the Crustle in the first place?”

“Oh shit, I totally forgot about that!” He beamed, letting out a laugh that was almost as cute as his face. His partner shook his head, sending an almost sorry look back at you and Primarina, his eyes plainly saying ‘sorry that my trainer is an idiot.’

“Well, Blaze and I were on the way to the Battle Tree and I was trying to climb that rocky area over there to find a shortcut, but I guess I stepped on the Crustle by accident. Stupid of me, huh?”

Yeah, stupid. That was kind of an understatement, but the three listening parties chose not to comment.

“Why didn’t you just defeat the Crustle then? Your Incineroar looks pretty powerful to me.” You gestured, eyeing the fire cat Pokemon with slight wariness. If you really were going to battle the dude, you weren’t sure if Primarina could defeat it, despite the type advantage.

“Oh. That’s because, uh… I’m trying not to get into too many battles right now.”

You stared at him. “Then why did you challenge me to a battle?”

“Sorry! I just saw how powerful your Primarina was that I got hyped all of a sudden! I can never resist a good challenge—“ You had to agree with that. You were sort of itching to fight his Incineroar yourself. “—but yeah, I think I have to postpone that battle for now. My team is kinda out of commission right now.”

“Why don’t you just give them some revives?”

At the mention of revives, his bunny grin deflated a bit. “Well, about that…” he trailed off, staring at his sneakers in embarrassment.

Oh my god. Don’t fucking tell—

“You don’t have revives.” You deadpanned.

The cheeky grin on his face said it all. “Uh, yeah. I sorta, kinda, maybe, could have forgotten to stock up before leaving the center this morning. Zero points for Jungkook today, huh?”

Shaking your head at the cute, scatterbrained boy, you shucked your bag off your shoulder, already rummaging deep inside to find the items you were looking for. You immediately grabbed some revives and hyper potions before handing the items to the wide-eyed boy.

“Here you go. Take them; they’re extras that I keep on hand.”

Taken aback by the sudden kind gesture, the boy spluttered at you, with a flurry of disconnected words flying out of his mouth. “What—I can’t, no—this is too much—you’ve done—no, no, you’re a girl and I can’t—“

You raised an eyebrow at the last part. “What does me being a girl have anything to do with this?”

You noticed that tips of his ears were reddening. “NO! I didn’t mean—uh, what I meant was that I can’t possibly accept! You’ve done so much already, and we’re almost near the Battle Tree! I’m sure I can make it there unscathed.”

His Incineroar snorted at the last bit, causing Jungkook to send him a glare. You giggled at the two oddballs, not noticing the way Jungkook’s ears had perked up at the sweet sound.

“No, it’s fine. I have a bunch of extras anyway; it’s no big deal. Just take them.” you said, forcibly shoving the items into his hands. He almost dropped them out of surprise, the hyper potions almost spilling before Blaze luckily caught them.

Jungkook was still eyeing you carefully. “You sure? It’s okay?”

You found his sudden shyness endearing. “Yes. I’m sure.”

If giving him a couple of revives and hyper potions could make him this happy, then you would gladly buy all the items in the world just to make him smile so gleefully.

“Wow, a pretty trainer AND she’s kind? Why did I ever think today would be an unlucky day?”

You turned your gaze away from him, shy from his flirtatious words. You pointedly ignored the melodious giggles coming from your Primarina. “Do you always compliment girls who give you free stuff in your times of trouble?”

“Nope. Just you.” He assured you, bunny grin on full display.

You continued to ignore the high-pitched squealing coming from your partner, who was now conspicuously slapping you in glee. You mentally reminded yourself to give her the ugly-looking Pokebeans later.

“Ahem, sorry about my partner, she’s just a bit excited to battle. Speaking of,” you smiled, gesturing to his newly acquired healing items. “Now that you have your healing items, how does that battle sound now?” You challenged, already sensing your Primarina ready herself for battle.

At your words, a determined glint settled in your new friend’s eyes, the fiery thirst for battle igniting in his very being. You both already felt that this was going to be a fun battle for sure.

“Bring it."

#BangtanWriters-Net #kreativewritersnet #sfwbangtan #bts scenarios #bts fanfiction #bts #bts imagines #bts scenario #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #bts jungkook #bangtan #BTS x you #bts fanfic #jjk

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