#definitely has changed my outlook on life forever

[wp100]

my original car I owned is officially a write-off. Thank god. Took like over a week for that to happen. But I'm relieved about this.

Sucks the accident happened in the first place, but at least I'm still here. I love my new car, but my old one had zero issues apart from a wheel cracking and some other things but she was perfect, and was quite low kms (not too much over 108,000). written-off too early :(

[doihavetosaymyname]

2023 LUNAR NEW YEAR PREDICTIONS

Pick a pile and get a reading <3

Pile one

10 of  pentacles, the Moon, The Wheel of Fortune, 6 of cups.

Channelled message: Thank you for being so patient.

2022 probably was very negative/uneventful; you reflected on yourself A LOT. I see you even doing shadow work. Luckily, in 2023 the period of melancholy ends. I see you getting out of old cycles/breaking old patterns. You healed your inner child; may approach things in a different, more playful way.

You are blessed by sudden positive change; lots of good luck and you being at the right place at the right time. 

I see material abundance and emotional fulfillment. Perhaps, this year you are going to spend a lot of time with people you consider family.  

You may visit your childhood home and people/things from the past may comeback to you.    

10 and 6 are your lucky numbers. 10 symbolizes a lucky fresh start, 6 represents restoration of peace/harmony. 

If you enjoy my readings, please consider donating <3

KO-FI

PAYPAL.ME

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Pile two

King of swords rx, 3 of swords rx, the Emperor, the Tower. 

Channelled message: Tapping into your inner rage is good for your health sometimes .

I see you quitting your job or education this year. Feels like you have an overbearing boss/professor who was not competent; perhaps the boss/professor abused their power and took advantage of you. You finally had enough and decided to walk away. The resentment has been building up for a long time, but you kept it to yourself. You tolerated their bullshit and then decided to silently resign, surprising them as they did not expect for it to happen. 

They will beg for you to come back. You already made up your mind though; you left everything behind and burned this bridge forever. 

I would advise you to have a good plan since quitting a job/uni can have serious consequences, however, my advice is definitely not needed. I am picking up your energy, and you are an absolute boss ass bitch. You are a strategist who thinks everything through, always five steps ahead of everyone. You are a highly intellectual, precise, and disciplined person.  

Allow yourself to be more impulsive from time to time.   

If you enjoy my readings, please consider donating <3

KO-FI

PAYPAL.ME

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Pile three

King of cups rx, the High priestess rx, queen of swords rx, 9 of cups rx, 2 of wands, the Magician, ace of swords. 

Channelled message: The only difference between you and the person you envy is the level of confidence.

For now (the very beginning of a new year) your energy is blocked. You feel stuck and unmotivated. I can sense some cynicism/pessimistic outlook in life from this pile; you probably have a generally passive approach to pretty much everything. 

All of it is such a shame because you genuinely have the potential to make ALL of your dreams come true. It is crazy how much power your mind holds yet you just refuse to acknowledge it. 

You have to remember that you are not a TV/film character — no one will give you a sudden plot twist love interest while you barely leave your house. It is delusional to expect that life will unfold its wonders when you refuse to take action. You have to take charge of your own destiny. 

Go out. Put yourself out there. 

Instead of seeing yourself as a character, approach life like a screenwriter. What plot lines would you add to make your own story compelling?

If you enjoy my readings, please consider donating <3

KO-FI

PAYPAL.ME

___________________________________

Happy lunar new year! Hope the reading resonated <3

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep21: The Omega Directive

Lowkey disappointed they didn't call this one 'Borg Sees God'- but joking aside, this one was pretty solid.

The scary molecule that can destroy subspace and end warp travel forever is a neat idea, story wise, and definitely makes for some high stakes. (Though I'm not entirely clear if there was a difference in range between how much of subspace it destroys versus how much regular explosion it produces- they kept saying it could take out the whole quadrant, but the actual explosions that were seen and referenced seemed pretty small and not especially destructive, since there were still buildings intact and people alive afterward. Maybe it's the difference between one molecule versus lots of them? Or how they were being contained? Idk, I guess I'm splitting hairs, since the overall momentum of the story still worked.)

Mostly this was a vehicle for Seven of Nine to show a little more emotion as she gets caught up in her desire to see and harness the omega molecule, which the Borg consider perfect and regard as almost being divine. (Which makes a case that the Borg's quest for 'perfection' i.e. making everything like them, is actually a weird religious crusade. It's never explained how or why the Borg were created, but runaway religious extremism would absolutely make sense.)

And it's yet another vehicle for Seven and Janeway to clash, since Seven wants to keep the molecule and use it, whereas Janeway has to destroy it, per a Starfleet Directive. Thankfully Janeway never wavers in her resolve to destroy it, since she, unlike Seven, understands that risking billions of lives for some potential scientific discovery isn't acceptable. She makes it clear to Seven that she's the captain and it isn't Seven's place to debate it with her. She is sympathetic to Seven on a personal level though, since Seven is less combative and more desperate in this story. Seven looks close to tears in half of her scenes, and Jeri Ryan does a nice job of conveying a little more of Seven's humanity in her desire to attain her Borg holy grail.

Seven reluctantly accepts the Captain's orders, but keeps trying to come up with ways to stabilize and harness the molecule anyway. She creates a way to contain it so Voyager can beam it up and destroy it. Seven stays true to her word that she'll follow orders and not try to stabilize the molecules, but just before they destroy it, it starts to randomly stabilize by itself. Janeway still destroys it, but for a few seconds, Seven sees what she believes to be perfection.

Seven goes to Janeway's DaVinci holodeck program, hoping that she might find some clues to what her spiritual experience meant in a setting filled with human religious iconography. In the end, it's not really clear what she got out of it, but she seems to have found it meaningful. It's not particularly illuminating or life changing as far as her overall outlook or character arc, which I think would have been interesting to explore in further episodes, but Voyager wasn't usually great at following through with that sort of thing. In the end, I think it raised more questions about Seven's sense of identity and beliefs than it answered, but it wasn't unpleasant or uninteresting to watch, and at this point, not being awful is enough to make an episode good in my estimation.

Tl;dr: A character piece for Seven that had a cool sci-fi concept. While it doesn't really have much impact in the overall scheme of her character, it shows us an aspect of her we've never seen before, which Seven of Nine fans at least should appreciate mulling over.

[reikurusu]

The Buddy Daddies x Taylor Swift Playlist No One Asked For

I feel like there are a lot of Taylor Swift songs that fit Buddy Daddies! Be it the show in general, KazuRei’s relationship (most songs can be interpreted as both platonic and romantic imo), their relationship with Miri,…

So I decided to make a list!

And since there were more songs than I had initially anticipated, I put the list under a cut. You can find the songs (with link) below, as well as why I think they fit Buddy Daddies! Seriously, this got pretty long… You’ve been warned!

PS: Feel free to add more songs that you think fit! :) Or if you agree with songs I picked but have a more insightful explanation as to why certain songs fit, go ahead!

PPS: You know Kazuki has T-Swift on while cooking. He says it’s because Miri listens to her, but we all know Miri (and Rei, by extension and reluctantly) started listening because of Kazu!

FEARLESS (TAYLOR’S VERSION)

Change: “Because these things will change Can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down” I feel like this one is fairly obvious! The concept of change is very present in Buddy Daddies, especially in the second half of the season. And listening to the lyrics of this song, it just really fits Kazuki and Rei’s outlook on things in my opinion! Also: “You can walk away, say we don’t need this But there’s something in your eyes Says we can beat this” Is this not literally Rei and Kazuki’s conversation in ep11, when Kazuki wants to give up Miri to keep her safe, while Rei wants to take care of her and protect her like that? This song is such a KazuRei song, guys, like damn!

The Best Day “I don’t know why all the trees change in the fall But I know you’re not scared of anything at all Don’t know if Snow White’s house is near or far away But I know I had the best day with you today” Literally Miri to her Papas and her Mama! Obviously not everything fits, but if we’d gotten a version of the show in which Misaki survived and took care of Miri along with Kazuki and Rei, this would’ve been so perfect!! I guess it’s the perfect song for a fix it fic?

SPEAK NOW

Long Live "Long live the walls we crashed through How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you” I feel like this one has a similar vibe as Change. How Rei and Kazuki overcame so many obstacles on their way to a happy family with Miri. It’s once again a song that carries a lot of hope in my opinion, hope that no matter what you go through, it’ll be all right in the end. Which obviously is very fitting to Buddy Daddies.

Innocent "It’s alright, just wait and see Your string of lights is still bright to me Oh, who you are is not where you’ve been” This could be about either Kazuki or Rei, or one of them towards the other. How the dark part of the world they belong to shouldn’t define who they are as a person (kind of like, just because you do bad things, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, if that makes sense). And how their younger selves (child, teenager, doesn’t really matter) probably had a completely different idea of how their life would turn out (maybe Rei less than Kazuki considering how he grew up…) EITHER WAY, it fits and it’s giving me feels!

RED (TAYLOR’S VERSION)

Forever Winter “Too young to know it gets better I’ll be summer sun for you forever” I feel like this fits Kazuki when he first met Rei. How Rei was a shell of a person and Kazuki did everything he could to gradually bring the real Rei out (or part of the real Rei because we all know Miri helped a lot with that as well). “He says he doesn’t believe anything much he hears these days I say, “Believe in one thing, I won’t go away"” Just… Is this not Kazuki taking care of Rei? T_T

Run "There’s been this hole in my heart This thing was a shot in the dark Say you’ll never let ‘em tear us apart And I’ll hold onto you while we run” I think this one definitely fits more when you view KazuRei as romantic. But I think the sentiment of the song just really fits them wanting to live their own life instead of having to continue to do what the organization wants them to do.

1989

Bad Blood “Now we got problems And I don’t think we can solve ’em” Aka the song that should’ve played during KazuRei’s raid in ep 12!! I think this is just their overall view of the organization by the end of the series. It’s just an epic song and imagining Kazuki and Rei killing Ogino and all the others with this song blasting… Good shit.

I Know Places “They are the hunters, we are the foxes And we run” It’s kinda hard to explain this one, because it’s more as if the vibe of the song fits the show? If that makes sense? There are lyrics that do fit, of course, mainly the feeling Rei and Kazuki must’ve had knowing the organization was after them, but the feeling of tension and being chased, hunted,… Idk, it fits to me.

This Love “These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me” At first I figured this could be seen as a KazuRei song, but while listening to it to see if it could really fit, I realised it could definitely be seen as the love Kazuki and Rei have for Miri? How they had to give her up, how they got her back, how she was the reason they managed to change, how they would never have guessed how much taking care of her would mean to them when they first met Miri,… Just listen to it with all of that in mind and tell me it doesn’t fit!

Wonderland “We found Wonderland You and I got lost in it And we pretended it could last forever” Aka the song that started this all. I was just randomly listening to this one and my brainrotted mind went “hey, Buddy Daddies” and it works so well!! If you think of “Wonderland” as Rei and Kazuki’s life with Miri, how they were completely enthralled by her and how they lost what they had,… "But there were strangers watching And whispers turned to talking And talking turned to screams” This is literally when they found out that the organization was after them and Miri. Aaahhh!! I’m normal about this song in combination with BD! It fits so well!! This song also inspired one of my earlier BD gifsets, which you can find here!

REPUTATION

Dancing With Our Hands Tied “My, my love had been frozen Deep blue, but you painted me golden” This is again a more romantic KazuRei song (the lyric above really feels like Kazuki after Yuzuko’s death). It’s about two people trying to stay together even though others want to tear them apart. This again really fits with the story of Buddy Daddies, with Shigeki wanting to separate Rei from Kazuki (and Miri obviously, but let’s just look at it from a romantic pov this time). Like “I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted” Does this not sum them up?

Delicate “Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you Oh, damn, never seen that color blue” Again a more romatic song for Rei and Kazuki, maybe a bit more from Kazu’s POV? (Especially the lyrics I quoted because is that not Kazuki seeing Rei for the first time in Yadorigi). I think this really fits the relationship between Kazuki and Rei before they know what’s going on between them. They’re partners in their jobs, sure, but sometimes, there are these moments... And it’s confusing and what’s going on and all that. Also, there’s this amazing male cover of this song, so if you want to picture it even more, be sure to listen to it! (He has more covers of songs listed here, so I’d really recommend listening to them!)

Look What You Made Me Do “But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined” Obviously this song has strong Bad Blood vibes so it would be also be perfect during Kazuki and Rei’s raid on the Suwa mansion! Okay, now I’m imagining Unhinged Kazuki having his phone on full volume blasting this song while killing a bunch of guys. Rei is so tired of him... Okay, nevermind that tangent, but the song is a vibe and it also fits because if Shigeki would’ve just let Rei be happy with Kazuki and Miri, none of it would’ve happened. Look what you made them do, Shigeki. Look at it!!

LOVER

Daylight "I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you I don’t wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night And now I see daylight” I think this one can be interpreted in many ways! A combination of Rei and Kazuki towards each other, in both a romantic as well as a platonic way. But I can definitely see it as Rei and Kazuki towards Miri as well. How she was the reason for the changes they made and how happy they are that they managed to change because of her! How they finally managed to get a soft life after everything they went through! Also special shout-out to @toripar who’s pointed out how well this song fits them!

FOLKLORE

Seven “And I’ve been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why And I think you should come live with Me and we can be pirates” Okay, so to be honest, most of this song doesn’t really fit I guess, but holy crap, the lyrics I quoted above?? Is that not Kazuki at Rei? Jfc!! I literally just added this song for those lyrics!

This Is Me Trying “Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down” The sentiment in this one really fits both Kazuki and Rei. I know not all the lyrics make sense, but the feeling of trying your best despite all the crap you’ve gone through/are going through really fits both our boys. They both went through crap, but try to be better every day. For Miri, for themselves, for each other.

EVERMORE

Tolerate it “You assume I’m fine, but what would you do if I I break free and leave us in ruins? Took this dagger in me and removed it? Gain the weight of you then lose it Believe me, I could do it” THIS IS LITERALLY A REI SONG?? Just picture Rei and his father’s relationship while listening to it! I feel like it especially fits younger Rei, from before he left his father to live on his own. How even back then, Rei knew that this wasn’t how a father should act towards their son. I know some things don’t add up, like the idolisation of the other person in the song, which is something Rei didn’t do obviously. The way Shigeki only saw Rei as a cog in the machine that is the organization, how Rei had to accept everything his father said and did…  But on the other hand, maybe he once did idiolize his father, when he was younger and didn’t know better yet? Because that’s how it goes in the Suwa family? Either way, it’s a Rei song!

Cowboy Like Me “And the skeletons in both our closets Plotted hard to fuck this up” Two people doing their sketchy jobs, meeting one another through said jobs and falling in love? Do I need to say more? Obviously a more romantic song, but I guess in some way it can be interpreted as platonic as well.

Right Where You Left Me “Everybody moved on I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared Right where you left me” This one doesn’t really fit, to be honest, but the part above just really feels like Kazuki after Yuzuko’s death. That’s the only reason I added this song.

It’s Time To Go “15 years, 15 million tears Begging 'til my knees bled I gave it my all, he gave me nothing at all Then wondered why I left Now he sits on his throne in his palace of bones Praying to his greed He's got my past frozen behind glass But I've got me” Again, a song that for the most part doesn’t fit the show, but I just wanted to point out these lyrics because this is literally the relationship between Rei and his father.

MIDNIGHTS

You’re On Your Own, Kid “I looked around in a blood-soaked gown And I saw something they can’t take away 'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned Everything you lose is a step you take" So for this song it’s mainly the bridge and the ending that fits Buddy Daddies. I feel like there are so many references to Rei and Kazuki, how they did everything they could to protect Miri and their little family, how Rei cut ties with his father, how they let go of their pasts and their traumas to live happily with Miri and each other! I know this may sound like an exaggeration, but I sometimes tear up during this part just thinking of Buddy Daddies (this being one of my favourite TS songs is probably a reason as well). I might even try to edit a video with this last part of the song…

The Great War “My hand was the one you reached for All throughout the Great War” This is a bit 50/50, but it still fits in a way. I know that the original meaning of the song doesn’t really make sense in the situation, but if you regard "The Great War” (which in the song means an argument) as Kazuki and Rei’s battle to leave the organization and live their life with Miri, it works. Also just the symbolisms of fighting and war and blood and everything that’s mentioned fit with Rei and Kazuki’s jobs.

Bigger Than The Whole Sky “Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye You were bigger than the whole sky You were more than just a short time" I feel like this song really fits how Kazuki and Rei must’ve felt after giving Miri back to Misaki. But besides that, I like to picture that there is a deeper meaning to the song as well: The song often repeats the lyrics “I’m never gonna meet what could’ve been, would’ve been, what should’ve been you”. And like I said before, this really fits Kazuki and Rei giving Miri up, but I think it also fits Rei and Kazuki giving up the versions of themselves they’d hoped they could’ve become when they started to take care of Miri, bringing back the whole plotline of change. A while ago, I decided to make a fanvid with this song and the show. If you want to watch it, you can find it here. Feel free to let me know what you think! I’m really happy with how it turned out, even if it is kinda angsty and sad.

If you managed to get to this point and read everything, HOLY CRAP! Thanks for the dedication and for reading my ramblings!! I hope you enjoyed them! <3

~ Charlotte

[twoheadedfawnn]

tagged by the lovely @serethereal to post 10 books to get to know me 🤍 thank you !!

1. jane eyre

my favorite book of all time forever … i cant explain to you what this book means to me but when i first read it it hit me like a thunderbolt. i love jane & rochester sm idgaf that he locked his wife in the attic like that’s father idk …

2. catcher in the rye

i haven’t read it since but when i first discovered this book in middle school i went through an insufferable phase where i carried it with me wherever i went … i was severely mentally ill though and it was so comforting to me at the time and made me feel less alone so for that i’ll love it forever

3. normal people by sally rooney

i’m forever a sally rooney disciple idc … this book is everything to me i’ve read it so many times and it never gets old. it feels so real like everyone has had a situationship like marianne and connel’s i think …

4. conversations with friends by sally rooney

another sally rooney … it’s gotten me through some hard times and i recommend it to everyone

5. all about love by bell hooks

i know everyone recommends it but this book forever changed my outlook on love and i will never shut up about it

6. how should a person be ? by sheila heti

i definitely need to re read this one soon but this is the kind of book that can almost be hard to read because it really challenges you to look at yourself, thorns and all … life changing to me personally

7. crying in H mart by michelle zauner

i’ve never cried so much reading a book this one ripped my heart out … everyone should read this but also it WILL traumatize you

8. devotions by mary oliver

should be required reading !!!!!!!!

9. jeff buckley: his own voice

jeff is one of my favorite artists forever and this book made me feel close to him which is so nice … he was srsly an earth angel

10. the idiot by elif batuman

selin is so real she’s just like me … i too need to contextualize my life as a movie or else i get horribly depressed

tagging @godardgirl @saintbronte @vanirgo @deathandsensuality @thomyorkesgf @iloveyou2 @brigittefitzgerald @marlborohomme <33

[youlovemetoomuchsir]

june 5/2023

a lot has changed this ive last written in here. just even reading through my past entries, I don’t recognize the person I was and I definitely don’t recognize the person I am as I write this. 

since my last post, which seems like it was freshly 2021 and I was about 18 years old and halfway through my first year at university. what I would give to go back to that Rachel and warn her about the next two years of her life. she was so innocent to the true nastiness of what was waiting for her, and she had no fucking clue that in literally months time she would meet someone that would probably change her life forever. 

I still can’t write about him very much. It's been a year and I’m literally in a whole new relationship but I fucking dream about him and imagine what it would feel like to just talk to him again, so I'm not sure im even ready for that. I obviously never want to be with him, and can’t without risking everyone in my life, but there’s something about us that I cant help but long for. 

Speaking of this relationship that I have found myself in. I have actually almost been in it for a year now, but you wouldn't be able to tell that based on my feelings, whatsoever. I don’t know why I am completely unable to focus on this relationship, or even be happy in it, but I can’t. I seem to be going through these insane feelings recently of wishing it would all go away. 

This is supposed to be an update so I will dive deeper into each topic later. Other than that stuff I feel completely miserable and have such a bleak outlook on life. I don't know what I am doing, and have no idea what my future even looks like. As of now I am still numbing every thought and day with weed, still look like im fresh out of a camp, and can’t sleep without getting violently high. 

At least im still here.

[l0st-l0ser]

Taking advantage of the sun today because it’s been rainy as shit and me and dexter needed to get out of the house. I went to Toyota school this morning, I sat next to Craig and Will. Not going to lie, I was nervous you were going to show up. Kind of sad you weren’t there.

I’ve been meaning to find the words to respond to your message, I’ve had this in my drafts for a while…I guess nows the time to post it?

Hi.

I recently saw that you messaged me on here for my birthday last year. LOL. Thank you, it was a good birthday. This years was good as well. I tried replying but for some reason my messages won’t go through. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not going to lie, reading your last post made my heart break a little for you. I hear and feel everything you’re saying.

I’m sorry you’ve lost yourself. I’m sorry you’re still stuck in the same situation you’ve been in for a decade. It’s easy for anyone on the outside to say “if you’re not happy, then just walk away”

It’s easier said than done. It’s hard to walk away from comfort and from someone you care about. You do care about her, or else you wouldn’t be with her for this long. I know you guys probably have good moments and memories together, and that alone is hard to walk away from. No matter what your relationship is, miserable or not, You’ve clearly built some kind of life together. It’s just a matter of really asking yourself if that is the life you want. I think it’s hard for you to open up and talk about it because you feel judged or you feel like an asshole, or maybe you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. I do think it’s sad that she doesn’t try to get to know you on a deeper level. Like she knows you, but she doesn’t know the real you. But I also think that’s partly your fault. You have to open up, allow her to get to know the real you. Ya know? She won’t know who you are and what you want out of life or a partner if you don’t. I will say what I’ve said for years, I think you deserve better, and I also think she deserves better.

I think at one point in my life, I’m sure I told you I wanted to help you grow emotionally and do life with you. I’m sorry you felt I didn’t.

When you and I were together, I was so young. I was crazy, acted a damn fool, and said a lot of hurtful things to you that I regret. I can never take those words back, but I can apologize for them and hope for forgiveness. We were both young and crazy. I’m proud to say that over the last 4 years, I’ve done a lot of soul searching, worked through some trauma, worked on my mental health, and I’m actually happy. Sure I’ve still got some crazy in me, but I’ve grown a lot. I think you’d be pleasantly surprised. I’m still the same funny Becca, just with a different mindset, different outlook on life, and I have mad respect for myself. I really think you’d be proud of me.

I went through some really dark times after my mom died. Something changes in you when you lose someone that close to you. My Life definitely changed forever. I sat in my sadness for over a year. I sat with my grief. I sat with my trauma. And the hardest part was, I sat by myself. I didn’t know how to move forward or how to deal with life. I felt stuck, like I was in a routine and like my life was just meant to be shitty. I couldn’t tell you what it was that made me snap out of it, and it of course didn’t happen overnight… it wasn’t easy pulling myself out of the darkness, but I knew it was possible. I took things day by day. Well, minute by minute really. Slowly things started looking up. I feel like I am living proof that you can grow as a person, you can heal, and you can move forward. That’s how I know the life you desire is a possible thing for you too. You have to save yourself before you can help save anyone else.

I’m happy to be alive. I’m so glad that my trauma and everything in my life has lead me to where I am right now. Sure, I thought my life would be different, like I thought I’d be married with kids by now. But I’m not going to lie, I’m happy I’m not because I don’t really want kids. I fully believe everything happens for a reason and I truly feel blessed to be where I am in life! Sure, my life still has flaws… like my weight, it’s gone up and down and up and down… but grief, drugs, and alcohol will do that to you. I’m at my heaviest right now, which puts me down but honestly my mental state was more important to me than what’s on the outside. And I’m still beautiful, big or not.

I don’t know if you want a life update on me but I’m going to give it to you anyways… lol.

I inherited my grandmas house after my mom passed. It was really hard living here at first, But I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job making it my own home. It’s old as eggs and small, but to me it’s home! I have so many childhood memories here and I’ve already made some good adult memories here too. It’s been almost 4 years and Its still weird to think that I am a home owner. LOL. I try to do 1 big project on the house every year. This year is my back patio! I had the roof of it replaced, painted the siding of the house back there, got some furniture, string lights, and of course have been adding my cool boho hippie style touch to it.

I’m still at Toyota. I’ve been a Main shop advisor there for about 4ish years! It’s definitely not forever but I do think I’m pretty kick ass at my job lol.

I finally sold my Subaru! My brother in law bought it from me. I currently drive a 4Runner and I love it so much.

Charlie and Dexter are still my boys. Charlie is 11?12? I forget. He’s getting old though, has trouble jumping on things sometimes and needs help… but he’s still huge and a big fluff ball. Dexter is 9, almost 10. He’s still a puppy at heart. I honestly don’t know where the f he gets all his energy from lol.

I’m still a summer girl. I’ve been paddle boarding and kayaking a lot the last 2 summers.

I’ve been going on vacations and exploring places. I went to Vegas and Texas last year and had a blast. I also went down to bend Oregon, floated the deschutes river with my friends and went to a reggae concert there. I loved bend! I would move there if I could. This year I went to Joshua tree for my birthday, it was wonderful. I was Basically shroomin in the desert for a week LOL! I went to Vegas recently for a concert, it was hot as ball there but I had a freaking blast.

I am currently dating someone, his name is Alex. He’s a tall nerdy metal head. I won’t go into too much detail about him, but he’s cool. He’s been one of my besties for a few years now. It’s pretty rad being in a relationship with your best friend.

I hope you know that I’ll always be here for you, as a friend. You were a big part of my life for a while, and I will always hold you close to my heart. I truly wish nothing but the best for you. I know you think that we can’t be friends without being more, but I would certainly like to try. I hope you have the courage to text me, because I would definitely reply. I hope someday we can be friends again.

Xoxo

Rebecca

[leonbloder]

Why We Dislike Certain People

In his book Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, author John Koenig creates words and definitions for the feelings, emotions, and experiences that have never been truly defined.

A particular word and definition in the book caught my attention the other day, and I wanted to share them and explain why they resonated with me so profoundly.

malotype

n. a certain person who embodies all the things you like the least about yourself--a seeming caricature of your worst tendencies--which leaves you feeling repulsed and fascinated in equal measure, having stumbled upon a role model of exactly the kind of person you never want to be.

Koenig explains that he got the inspiration for his new word from the Latin word malus, which refers to a sculpture mold, essentially a negative image of the object you want to sculpt.

There's something about the definition of this word that truly speaks to each of us because we've all had an experience or two in our life when we met someone who we find gives us a powerful negative charge.

Sometimes, it's hard to put your finger on at the moment, but it doesn't take long for us to realize that the very characteristics we can't stand about that person are ones we fear we possess at some level.

In a way, it's like meeting the worst version of yourself, if that makes sense. No wonder we are both "repulsed and fascinated" by them.

In some cases, we may also be attracted to such a person. This is especially true if, along with the negative aspects we fear, they also possess a more dangerous or daring side that we are afraid to unleash in ourselves.

Many years ago, I had a wise man explain this to me with a simple sentence: What I see in you, I see in me. That simple sentence has brought me back to my senses a few times when I've become frustrated, angry, or bitter toward someone about whom I have negative feelings. It's so easy to forget that, typically, what I might be railing against in another is something I can't stand about myself.

So, what do we do once we realize what we're up to regarding the negative charge we feel with people who possess character traits that we hope we don't have but worry that we might?

If those negative feelings come from a place of fear that we might not be the people we imagine ourselves to be, then we need to imagine something different.

To use a sculpting analogy, the first step to shaping ourselves is scooping away all of the negative space. This could look like being more aware of our reactions to things that cause us anxiety or worry. It could be working hard to live more fully and become the person we long to be.

It may require changes in habits, attitudes, outlook, and a concerted effort to surround ourselves with positive influences.

Also, remember to consider the role of the right kind of friends in your life.

Finally, you should also remind yourself that the person you got a negative charge off of and who perhaps started you spinning in the first place is created in God's image, just as you are. And, like you, they are doing the best they can.

Strangely, extending grace to them is like extending it to yourself, so don't be afraid to do that, too. You'll find more peace, for sure.

May it be so, and may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all, now and forever. Amen.

[nevalizona]

3, 6, & 15 for the OC asks!

I'm so sorry this took so long! My brain has not been working! Thank you so so so much for the ask! Putting the answer under the cut because:

There is a brief mention of self-destructive tendencies, so please avoid this post if that bothers you! Nothing in depth, though!

3). Describe a memorable childhood experience that shaped your character's personality or outlook on life.

--Rosaylie: I can't think of one specific experience, but it was definitely something that had to do with Tellio, 100%.

6). What is your character's preferred way of coping with stress or difficult situations?

--Rosaylie: She is very self-destructive. That's always been her preferred method of coping with stress. It's not good. It's not healthy. She doesn't care. It's the one thing she can control in her life.

--Gracie: She tries to stay positive no matter what. If she is really struggling, she stops and tries to think of what the best approach is. She also tries to talk her issues out with someone, usually her mom, her boyfriend, Darren, or his mom. Sometimes, her little brother, Mason aha.

15). Describe a defining moment in your character's life that marked a turning point or significant change in their path.

--Rosaylie: Having her daughter, Mariana. That's when she realized what her future was going to be. She may not be able to change her fate, but she can make it tolerable.

--Gracie: Meeting Erick at the bakery. She had no idea that single, 15-20 minute interaction was going to change her life forever. She thought I was just another cake. Just another off-putting customer.

[ashtoninbloom]

[text]: Family is not always blood, and I'm so glad you've found your little family. It's a great feeling, isn't it? Something tells me it won't. Ava and Luke will always be at the forefront of your mind, no matter what you do. We do, but their mom has been incredibly accommodating. For example, she let the girls stay over Christmas Eve and came over in the morning to watch them open presents when that was her time with them and she very easily could've said no when Aaron proposed the change. I wasn't sure how the whole splitting time thing would go but it's been very easy so far. Honestly, I'm dreading the day she's old enough to realize they're leaving her. Even if her heart doesn't break, mine will. That Luke sass is one-of-a-kind so I can't wait to see how she puts her little Ava spin on it. No prayers needed. A little sass is a good thing! She's alive and happy, so it's working. The same might not be able to be said about you, but I promise it gets easier.

[text]: Oh my gosh, yes please! Spam me with all the pictures at any point, okay? Especially when she gets to wear her little sherpa outfit. Well, I don't know if Luke's told you yet but I'm actually coming for a visit today! Sorry in advance if I'm a baby hog while I'm there, but I'm also not actually sorry. How is she the cutest 5SOS fan already? Thank you, that means a lot to hear. Both? I wouldn't necessarily say that we're trying but we also weren't at all trying with Collins. We're just living our life and whatever is meant to happen, will happen. Haha, well I always tease him and say I want ten kids. I loved carrying Collins and would happily do it over and over again. All I know is that I want as many babies as the universe will give us -- whether that's two or twelve is still to be determined. We should pitch the reality show now -- Babies In Bali. Follow along as ten parents introduce their little ones to one of the most stunning locations in the world and watch the drama unfold as they all collectively decide to never return home. Always on your team and always your biggest cheerleader!

[ text ]: i think i struggled as a kid with the idea of never having that intact nuclear family, something most of my friends had but the family you make for yourself is as important. my family with luke though, it's always going to be more important than anything else. our daughter takes priority over everything, work included. glad she's making it easy, that's really decent of her. maybe she realizes that her daughters should have a relationship with their half-sister and if she gets in the middle of that, it's only going to hurt the girls, who'll end up resenting her for it. you guys are all going to be connected for life, so fostering those relationships early on is so important. the girls are getting older and they'll soon start to have more say in their life, so Collins no doubt will be spoiled with love and attention by their big sisters. Ava looks so much like Luke and i can definitely see that in her personality too. i can't say no to Luke and definitely can't say no to Ava, so that's gonna make the rest of my life pretty damn interesting.

[ text ]: my phone is so full of pictures, so happy to send lots to you. you have to see her in her dungarees, it's the cutest thing ever. ahh you are?? i'm so excited to see you, are you bringing Collins? you can hold Ava and I'll get some sweet Collins cuddles. she'll forever be the cutest 5SOS fan. that's a good outlook to have, let nature do it's thing and roll with the punches. a house full of kids, huh? i feel like you two could definitely handle it, you're both cool customers. traveling with babies is horrible but for this reality show, i'm willing to do it !! you're the sweetest and i couldn't ask for a better friend. love youuuuuuuu.

[saebyeoked]

This might be controversial but can you please make a head cannon about being the salesman’s wife?

not controversial at all. in fact it is amazing and i'd be delighted to write about this man thank you. i picture the salesman as a romantic type of guy so i hope you enjoy my take on the character!!

gn!reader

being married to the salesman headcanons

he would have to be in a relationship for a while to consider marrying someone. at least for a few years. although he knew you were the one, he didn't know if you were ready for marriage yet so he decided to wait

his proposal is perfect. there are no flaws to this man at all and the proposal has to be incredible coming from him

he'll take you somewhere significant to the two of you as a couple to propose, like where you first met or where you had your first date. wherever he decides to propose at, you are completely speechless

his proposal is so sweet. he says so many kind things about you that you forget he's just proposing and you're not married yet

he'll help you plan the wedding. he wouldn't want a lot of guests there, seeing no point in having that many at an event that was supposed to be quiet and beautiful

he'd leave a few things up to you but would always chip in with his opinion if you asked for it. things like the cake and invitations he leaves completely up to you unless you need or want help

in the weeks leading up to the wedding, he's so giddy and he can't stand still. he just wants your wedding day to come faster so he could marry you

when the day of your wedding arrives, he feels suddenly anxious. everyone does on their wedding day, but he felt his chest tighten as he was waiting for the ceremony to start

when you walked down the isle, all of those worries and anxieties fell away as he looked at you. you looked stunning in what you chose to wear to your wedding, whether it be a dress or a tux. he adores you and knows you could pull off anything, even if it would look horrible on someone else

he wanted to kiss you as soon as you stood in front of him but he holds back. instead he just held your hand and looked deep into your eyes with a loving smile on his face

he felt grateful to be where he was. he had a perfect spouse and a beautiful wedding happening right in front of his eyes and he wouldn't change anything

his vows aren't incredibly long. he gets to the point rather quickly. he would talk about all of the things that made him want to marry you, and all of the quirks he noticed about you that he found so endearing

he would tell you how thankful he was to be with you and how incredible you are as a person and as a partner. you'd get teary-eyed from his words but you'd try not to cry even though you were the happiest you'd ever been

your vows would be longer than his, but he wouldn't care because you'd be talking about all of the things you love about him. you'd mention how attractive he is, both inside and out. how his kindness made you have a more positive outlook on the world and how you know he's your true love <3

when it comes time to kiss you and make your marriage official, he'd pull you in by the waist in what looked to be a rough kiss, but it turned out to be so gentle and sweet. his lips would move against yours so slowly, savoring the moment as if it would last forever if he didn't pull away

you go weak at the knees at his kiss, realizing that his lovely man is your husband!!

he has money, so anywhere in the world is a possible option for the honeymoon. he'd let you choose, and you'd go wherever you want. if you knew a lot about the city you'd tell him cute little facts and it would put a huge smile on his face

you stay at a nice hotel together and you'd be so hyper, almost bouncing off of the walls as you arrive to your room

it hadn't yet sunken in that you were actually married, but you were, and your husband was the sweetest man in the world

he loves and cares so much for you, so he'd take you anywhere and let you do anything. he'd want you to have the time of your life and it definitely succeeded

you'd go to a few tourist locations and— if you use social media— he'd take cute candid pictures of you for your instagram. he'd still take them anyway because you looked amazing

he noticed that you were almost glowing after your wedding. he could only hope that it was out of happiness, and of course it was because who wouldn't be happy after being married to him

if you didn't live together before you'd start to when you're married. he'd probably buy a brand new house for the two of you to start a life in together

as a married couple, the two of you would have the best relationship ever. you wouldn't have any problems with each other and any arguments were always solved quickly

the two of you have so much trust in each other and it's the cutest thing. it's so obvious that he loves you because of the way he looks at you

he's an incredible husband who'd do anything to make you happy <3

[inhonoredglory]

another character based question - how do you feel about mikasa? a lot of fans dont like her, im curious about how you feel! - armin anon

Hellooooo Armin Anon. OMG it’s been forever since I had the time to sit down and do a proper meta, and I apologize.

First off, I finished the manga!!! (So, spoilers ahead for anyone else reading this.) I had to lie down after reading 139. It’s a tremendous story and I’m still taking it all in. The set pieces and personal/emotional stakes of everything that happens is just astounding. If it’s one thing Isayama does good, it’s the gut-wrenching personal anguish that underlies the action. I’m absolutely floored. My favorite bit was probably the timey-wimey stuff in Paths and Eren. That blew my freaking mind. But onto Mikasa!!

A Cruel Yet Beautiful World

I remember way back when I started the anime that I started liking Mikasa first out of the group. I liked how sullenly silent and no-nonsense she was, and I liked her loyalty to Eren. Her emotion, especially when Eren died in Trost, was palpable and terrifyingly beautiful. Her grief was incredibly realistic––rushing off with a death wish that even she couldn’t succumb to in the end, because of the drive to fight that she got from Eren. In a world like SNK, her relentlessness breaking through her grief was incredibly moving. And her philosophy is basically the driving theme of SNK: “This is a cruel world, and yet so beautiful.”

This is the same moral message she gives Eren when he can’t find the strength in him to fight Annie––and gives him that warm, understanding, inscrutable smile that allows him to finally accept his own monsters, fight Annie, and save her and Armin. (One of my favorite panels of her from the manga, actually.) Mikasa is basically the first character we meet who embodies this contradictory morality, which grows to engulf SNK and other characters as well (Levi, Reiner, and Armin especially come to mind). Which could be why I was drawn to her at the start, since the complex moral outlook of SNK was the primary reason I fell hard for this story.

(And gosh, it’s tragic to realize that it’s teaching moments like the scene above that made Eren into the person who could influence his own child self to murder, the person who could wipe out so much of humanity, the person who could take Ymir’s challenge to free her by destroying the love of the person who cared the most about him. I’m still processing yo.)

Acker-parallels

I started really analyzing Mikasa when I had to defend her from a friend of mine who accused her of resenting Levi (for beating up Eren) and that’s why she attacked him so violently in the RTS serumbowl. Because of my research into rebutting that, a lot of my affection for Mikasa now comes in seeing the little ways in which she cares and trusts other people, including Armin, Levi, Gabi, and Jean. And her quiet sensibility that goes beyond her love and protectiveness of Eren.

With Levi in particular, I find a lot I like about her. Because you can definitely see her annoyance at him, but she also trusts him more than anyone else in the Corps outside of Armin. After Levi’s violent encounter with Historia, she was the only one who implicitly trusted Levi’s judgement, backing up Armin’s more reasoned logic. She sees beyond her own emotions and even moral feelings and realizes the world is cruel enough that sometimes people have to do dark things to help others and survive.

This is very much the same statement Levi made to the 104th when he had asked them to follow Erwin’s orders when the commander’s plans were questionable on the surface: “Do you trust him? Those dumb enough to say yes… come with me.” These two understand each other on a moral level, and they ask for their comrades’ loyalty without demanding it, because they each know that everyone’s conscience is their own.

There’s a clear parallel between Mikasa and Levi, not only because of their Ackerman heritage and sensibilities (loyal to a fault to their chosen person, impossibly strong, quiet and grim), but their frustration when they cannot protect the people they are responsible for. They both know they are the strongest around, and if they cannot fulfill on that power, a lot of people will die.

There are many moments in which Mikasa puts aside her personal feelings to do her soldierly duty, from leaving Eren to help with the evacuation of Trost to leaving Eren and Armin to fight the Colossal Titan alone in Shigonshina.

And then there’s the fact that Levi’s the one who could break past Mikasa’s headspace and distraction so that she can do the right thing. He understands her strong emotion, he respects it, but he also knows when that has to be put aside for the greater good. But he doesn’t put her down for having those emotions, either.

Strength from Eren, Humanity from Armin

Mikasa’s love and loyalty to Eren challenges her tremendously after the timeskip and her sorrow at Eren’s change is what really stands out to me about her character in the Marley arc. The absolute grief in her eyes when she tells Eren what he’s done is devastating, and it shows just how much goodness and compassion she does have.

And yet she longs to understand Eren, to trust him, to believe there can be something redeeming, and not merely jaded and tired, in what he taught her so many years ago––to fight, to win, to live.

There’s such a difference between these same words said here by Mikasa, so many years later, after so much heartbreak, to the anger and flame that were in them when she first heard them, back when she realized that this was the way of the world. That death and killing happens in the natural world everyday and that’s how you survive. That the world is both cruel and beautiful.

And yet as the years wore on, as Mikasa grew closer to others, found purpose in protecting others, sought a life with Eren… as she wandered further into the forest of life and society and relationships, she lost some of that simple injunction... to live is to fight, to fight is to win. She, like so many of the 104th and the others on this journey, found that it’s not enough to just fight and live and be satisfied. We really want it all to mean something, to have our actions be redemptive. To allow ourselves to believe that we do what we’re doing because we’re not just saving ourselves, but saving others, “saving the world” like Yelena points out (in the forest therapy session pfff). And it’s that drive for something bigger in our actions that grieves her so much with Eren, because as she wants her own actions to be fundamentally good and selfless, she wants his actions to be moral as well.

So while Eren is the person that frustrates Mikasa and motivates her to become stronger and braver than she ever was, Armin is the person who humanizes Mikasa and allows her the space to be gentle and vulnerable. She comforts Armin, confides in him, puts her faith in him, and puts her life in his hands.

She trusts Armin with Eren, and she values Armin’s intellect and compassion, qualities she doesn’t have in nearly as much quantities as he does: “There are only so many lives I can value. And… I decided who those people were six years ago. So... you shouldn’t try to ask for my pity. Because right now, I don’t have time to spare or room in my heart.”

This bit from her confrontation with Ymir and Historia was a defining moment for me with Mikasa. It’s honest and realistic in a way that few of us care to admit about ourselves, and it’s just super chilling and badass coming from her, too. It also shows how much she fights for Armin and Eren both. They are the two people she loves the most in the world, and she never gave up on saving either of them––from death or from themselves.

I’m looking back on Trost now and finding so much irony with the ending to SNK. In Trost, she was the one to give up on Eren, telling Armin that it was hopeless to try to extract Eren’s personality from his Titan form. And yet, like in the end, it’s always been between Armin and Mikasa to try to salvage Eren’s humanity. In Trost, Armin tells Mikasa to leave––to go do what she’s good at (saving lives)––and to entrust Eren to him.

It’s a huge expression of both Mikasa’s trust in Armin, and her belief in Armin’s abilities and friendship for Eren. And in the end, it’s the two of them again debating on if there’s any humanity left in Eren. The bond they share is intimate and deep. With all the military doubting Eren and scheming to take away his Titan (with even Jean and Connie unavailable to them emotionally), it’s only Armin and Mikasa against the world––the only two people who can truly consider Eren’s actions and hold off on judging him. And you can feel their love for him even as they doubt him.

And like back then, it has always been Armin who understands Eren most, the one who recognizes his own evil and Eren’s and finds a redemption in having others stop you, because you cannot stop yourself.

And that’s the thing I really take away from SNK and from Mikasa’s journey, that we all have devils inside us, and yet there is still beauty to be found, within us and in the world––from the natural wonders that Armin dreams of, to the comfort of purpose and companionship that Mikasa has in Eren. Love and wonder is what redeems us of our devils. And yet love itself is complicated, and can turn ugly in its obsession. That giving up that love is what makes the love selfless and beautiful, what absolves us of the selfishness within us. That’s what Mikasa learned. And in the end, she was able to release that love for the good of the world.

So I guess to sum up, I really love Mikasa. I can see why her dogged loyalty to Eren might annoy some fans, but I think there’s a lot more to her than simply that, and in fact, her journey and growth is heart-rending and one of the most symbolic arcs of SNK and fundamental to its entire theme. She’s a badass with a lot of emotion and depth behind her cold mask.

[ellana-ravenwood]

“My fake boyfriend is a billionaire ?!” - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : After a few shitty weeks of everything going wrong, you somehow find yourself faking a relationship with the one and only Bruce Wayne. 

That’s it. I did it. After 3 years posting stories on this platform, I finally succumb to one of the biggest fanfiction cliché of all time haha. The infamous fake boyfriend trope. And I really hope you will like it : 

My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

The Gap Year of Disaster

Today, you were an utter mess, and you couldn’t care less.

You know, this kind of days where you wish you would just have stayed in bed ?

Where everything goes wrong and you just want to hide under your blanket and pretend you don't have any responsibilities ?

Well today…Today was most definitely this kind of day.

It was suppose to be your first day at an exciting new job and you were so psyched about it, that you hadn’t been able to sleep all night. 

You finally fell into a deep slumber during the very early hours of the day, and…

Of course you woke up late ! You didn't have time to take a shower, or to do your make-up nicely or even to brush your hair. But worst of all you didn't have time to get coffee !

When you got out with your bike….it was pouring outside. Ah but of course, because when one thing goes wrong everything has to follow. Everything WILL go wrong. Murphy's law or some stupid things like that !

It's in those moments you wish you had a car ! Because when it rained in Gotham…It felt like Noah was ordered to built another ark !

So, sleep deprived, soaked, in a bad mood and looking like a mess, you managed, by some miracle, to arrive at your job on time.

Only to discover that this wasn’t at all what you were expecting. It was NOT what was promised to you, which was experience in an exciting workplace and a way to make the most of it. 

Instead, it was a desk job where you ran errand for everyone. Amazing. 

This was supposed to be your first try at “real life”, this was why you took that gap year from college. 

“I want to find myself, find who I really am !” You told everyone around you, ignoring those who were negative and telling you you should finish your study first. 

Now, as you were stuck in a tiny cubicle with an endless list of coffee orders you had to get for everyone else, you felt like maybe they were right, and that this wasn’t quite the way you were going to “find yourself”. 

Then again, wasn’t it through hardship that this sort of things unlocked ? Wasn’t it with great determination and knowing how it was to struggle, that you were going to thrive ? That’s what they said in TED talks dedicated to “success”...

So far in your life, things had been rather normal. Not particularly easy, but not hard either. You grew up in a small town in New Jersey, no troubles on the horizon. You then moved to Gotham for college as you had a scholarship for Gotham’s University, and as you were about to start your third year you sort of questioned wether or not this was your path...

One of your favorite professor told you to maybe take a gap year. A few semesters off, to think things through. Taking advantage of it to do some soul searching and try to know what you really wanted and...It sounded wonderful ! 

That’s when you started to have job interviews in many different fields, and it took you three months to finally find something. Three very stressful months of wondering how long you could live off of your measly savings, and wether or not you’d have to move back in with your parents (anything but that !)...Not a very good start to that gap year for sure. 

And when you landed what you thought was going to be a great job, things definitely were looking up ! Ah, but the fact that you were chosen while you had NO experience and such, should’ve been your first warning that this was too good to be true. 

You were trying to stay positive though. Maybe it was only for the first day ? Maybe their coffee person was sick or something ? It’d get more interesting later ? Yes. Yes let’s keep a positive outlook on everything. 

Except right now, as your entire morning was made of you walking up and down the building (the elevator was not working, but of course), to the coffee shop at the corner of the street, and bringing back orders for people, you didn’t feel in the mood to try and stay cheery. 

And the worst in all that ? You didn't even get ONE cup for yourself…This “real life” thing was not starting very well. 

And so here you were, during your lunch break, looking like a mess, bag under your eyes and still wet from the rain (your trips up and down the street for coffee runs not helping drying yourself off), your morale at its lowest..And…

"That'll be 3 dollars and 50 cents for the large latte with triple espresso shot, m'am."

Catastrophe. 

Proof that things could ALWAYS get worst. 

As you were looking through your bag, you couldn't find your wallet !

Did you leave it at home ?! Maybe. 

People at your work gave you the money to buy them coffee (and not a single tips, bunch of cheapskates). And you didn’t notice you were missing that oh so essential part of your daily life...Your credit card. Or any type of money. 

Damn it ! 

“Um, excuse me miss, that’s 3,50 please ?”

“Oh yes yes, um, you know what I just-” 

“Here, miss, you dropped this.” 

As you were about to explain that in fact, you didn’t need coffee (even if when you asked for it you might’ve mentioned it being a question of “life or death”), too embarrass to admit you didn’t have the money to buy it, a...very handsome man handed you a twenty dollars bill. 

You were a hundred percent sure this wasn’t yours. You never carry lose cash like this. A quick look to his kind deep blue eyes, and soft smile, and you realize...

Oh. Great. A total (very handsome) stranger took pity of you. 

You probably looked even worst than you felt. You were about to say this was a mistake, but before you could, he gave the bill to the barista, and left with a last smile to you, taking his own cup of coffee away with him. 

Damn. You didn’t have time to say “thank you”. He vanished as fast as he appeared, disappearing in the crowd of the busy coffee shop. 

“Here’s your change, m’am.” 

“Ah you know what ? Keep it buddy. Thanks for the coffee.” 

“Wow, thanks !” 

You were pretty sure that barista never had such a big tip, and it oddly made you feel better, to make someone else’s day like that. Your grandma did always say that you found true joy from helping others...

Oh, yeah, ok, you just helped someone out, why was the universe so angry at you ?! 

As you turned around and started to leave, almost at the exist of the shop, mood a little better after this nice encounter with a (again, handsome) stranger, and the barista, you see him. 

Him. One of the reason you sort of decided to take a gap year. 

Him. 

Your ex-boyfriend, Eric, who cheated on you with your friend Monica. Needless to say, it wasn’t a good memory. And you hadn’t seen neither him nor her since you left college, especially not since you heard they actually got together. 

Your FRIEND. With your BOYFRIEND. And it went on for a while, before you finally discovered it (that day was as shitty as today...). 

Oh. And of course Eric wasn’t alone. She, was there too. The one you thought was your friend, and who stabbed you in the back like that. Both of them discarding you like a dirty old sock. 

Great. Really. Awesome. This day was going from “bad” to “please kill me.” 

“(Y/N) !” 

He looks surprised to see you, although also a little pleased. And it makes you want to punch him in the face. You don’t care if it’s because he wished things ended another way, they both betrayed your truth and then never even tried to talk to you again afterward. 

You’re not sure you would’ve forgave them, but at least, it would’ve shown they still cared about you in a way. Nobody chooses who they’re going to fall in love with (that, you’d soon discover for yourself). But she was your best friend. And he was with you for over a year. 

She’s a little more awkward than him, and smiles, clearly embarrassed. You always knew she was a bit of a coward, if she wasn’t, she would’ve face you, right ? 

And that’s when it happened. The decision that would forever change your life.

In this great moment filled with despair and awkwardness.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw that nice stranger who paid for your coffee. The handsome one. He didn’t leave the shop, but instead went to seat at a table that was a little further away than the rest of them. 

His eyes were glued to his phone, and you thought : “Well, fuck it, all this can’t get any worst right ?”

You were sort of hoping that, since he had been nice with you once and offered you those twenty dollars without knowing you (although you were very aware it was probably just pity), maybe he could help again ? 

Maybe it was the fatigue, the fact you were getting sadder and sadder, that you had a terrible day, and that you just saw two people you loved and who threw you away like you meant nothing (oh but not before being super fake to you, pretending they WEREN��T cheating behind your back)...maybe it was a combination of all of that, that made you act crazy. 

But here you found yourself, sitting at that stranger’s table, and saying, as he looked up from his phone clearly surprised : 

“How are you guys ? As you can see, I’m great.” 

You don’t dare to look at the handsome stranger, and hope he’ll be too stunned to say anything, and you can make your ex-friend and ex-boyfriend feel embarrass enough they’ll leave quickly. But then Monica says something that makes your heart skip multiple beats : 

“You...You know Bruce Wayne ?!” 

You turn to the man who gracefully paid for your coffee, and your eyes go wide. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. How did you NOT recognize him ?! Of course. Chiseled face, beautiful blue eyes, a suit that was definitely worth your entire year’s salary, a very charming aura...

Your hazy mind full of “fuck this day” didn’t register that THE Bruce Wayne, was the one who helped you out. How did you miss that ? His face had been plastered everywhere in Gotham for the past year, since he came back to the city, in fact. 

You hear yourself wish with all your might to be struck by lightning this instant, as the two assholes who hurt you so much are looking at you expectantly and are not about to live (of course, they just met celebrity BRUCE WAYNE !! Could someone be as unlucky as you were today ?!)

And that’s when you hear a chuckle, a beautiful deep chuckle, and finally turn to look at Bruce. He smiles at you, and takes your hand, saying : 

“Honey, who are your friends ?” 

Your brain go full “ERROR 404″, not quite able to grasp the fact that THE Bruce Wayne just ran with what you were trying to do. How ? How was this possible ? You initially went to sit with him in the hope that Eric and Monica would see you were totally ok and with a hot date, not quite sure still yet how you ever thought this was a good idea and...

It was turning out alright ?! 

HOW ?! 

“Oh um, I’m..Eric. And this is my gir...This is Monica.” 

What a piece of shit. Not even brave enough to call her his “girlfriend” when he cheated on you with her for months and months. You glare at him, unable to stop this gut reaction. 

And that’s something Bruce caught. 

In fact, as soon as you sat down, avoiding looking at him and nervously looking at those two people, Bruce sort of knew you were in an uncomfortable situation. One that made you take an irrational decision. 

And oh, he didn’t like the look Eric and Monica gave you. Like they felt superior as they caught you in a bad moment. Bruce hated, people who thought they were superior to others... 

And you clearly seemed in distress and in need of help so...He ran with it. 

Bruce had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t enough that it felt natural, to run along with what your hazy mind thought was a good idea. 

“Nice to meet you, are you friends with-” 

Damn it. He realized he didn’t know your name. Quick thinking saved him, and he managed to keep his tone even, as to hide his hesitation : 

“My love ?” 

His hand around yours felt warm and reassuring, and you still couldn’t believe that, not only a total stranger, but THE Bruce Wayne was helping you out like that. Especially after you had such a bad day. 

Him calling you his “love” made your exes feel very awkward, and they shake their head “no”, suddenly pretending they’re very busy and have to meet up with someone. They leave the coffee shop, clearly stunned, whispering things to each others that you knew were probably : “how did she get a guy like him ?!”

You can’t help but glare at them some more...But then your hand feels cold again, and you realize Bruce let go off it. Well. Duh. Of course he would. 

You turn to him, your feature softening, and say : 

“Are you an angel ?” 

Ah yes. Your defense mechanism. “Humor”. 

He chuckles, and says : 

“Well, I’m afraid not. My butler would think this is very funny. But thank you.” 

Awkwardly, you rub your neck, your free hand nervously turning your cup of coffee clockwise in your palm. You don’t really know how to end this, what : “thanks for that” and leave ? 

“Thanks for the coffee. And for um...Saving my ass, just there.” 

He smiles, and wow hello white teeth and charming dimples ?! 

“You’re very welcome. They looked like they were jerks.” 

“Haha oh you have no idea.” 

“Glad I could help.” 

“Thanks again. Really. This means a lot, especially since we don’t know each others. Well, I know you. Everyone in Gotham does haha. And ok I’m going to leave now, my lunch break is almost over and I don’t want to make this even more awkward.” 

You start to rise up, but he holds you back by catching your sleeve, and says : 

“Actually miss…?”

“(Y/L/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Miss (Y/L/N), you are kind of saving my life right now.”

“…I am ?”

A flash blinds you. Not a lightning, a camera flash. You turn, just in time to see a guy hastily hiding a camera and running away. 

“What the...” 

“A paparazzi. Good timing, for once.” 

“Huh ?” 

You wish you had some witty come back, or would just know what to say. But you’re confused. And this has been a really weird day. 

“I am sorry if this will seem forward, or like I helped you wanting something in exchange. But I promise I will make it worth your while if you just sit back down and listen to me for a few minutes.” 

You sit back down. More because you’re unsure your leg can still support you in this moment, than because he asked you to. With a smile he continues : 

“Thank you. So. Let me explain a little, and again, sorry if this is too forward. If you don’t want to help of course, I would understand. I’m about to ask you something rather odd, I guess. And I’ll clear things up with paparazzis. I also promise I did not help you with your “friends”-”

“They’re not my friends.” 

“I figured that much. And I promise I didn’t help you with them and ran with whatever you were trying, just so I could ask you this.” 

“Ask me what ?” 

“Well, you see…it’s arranged marriage season.”

“What ?”

“Every year, every single rich family try to make me marry their single daughters. It’s a very tiring season, but I’ve never been able to avoid it…I thought about having a fake fiancee before but could never find the right person.”

What he says does not register with you. His clear proposal doesn’t hit your brain. And you just stare at him, waiting for him to keep going. But he doesn’t, and by the way he looks at you, you slowly starts to understand where he’s getting at. 

You gasp, now pretty sure this is all a dream (or a nightmare) and say : 

“And I’m the right person ?”

“Well, yes. You seem to be a...“normal” person.”

“…Thanks.”

“In that case it’s good. It’s very good. It means that if I’m dating you, a woman that has nothing to bring me, then it must be true love.”

“Wow, stop with the flatteries already mister Wayne, I can’t handle it…”

Ah, your slight wits are back. Good sign that you’re regaining your senses. Everything that happened in the last ten minutes still feel like a bad dream, but you’re back in reality now. 

“No no no, I didn’t mean it in a demeaning way ! But it’s just, you’re not rich, and you’re not famous or have political ties. You’re just a regular person. So they won’t think I’m trying to trick them, even if I am, do you know what I mean ?”

“Gotcha. My broke ass person cannot bring you any value, so it must be love and not just an arranged thing they can break. Cool.”

There’s a slight silence. And you find it a little fun, to play a little bit with the famous Bruce Wayne. He seemed so confident and cocky on TV, you never thought you’d be able to make him look so guilty. 

“I’m sorry if I offended you.”

He says, clearly meaning it. But you shake your head and smile at him (and oh why does he feel his heart tightening slightly at your smile ?), and reassure him instantly (you feel a little bad, actually, to mess with him while he did just really do a huge favor to you while he had no obligations to) : 

“Haha, just messin’ around with ya Mster Wayne. I’m not bothered by it, it’s the truth. I’m really broke, and I don’t think you could find more “regular” than me right now. So, and because you really did save my ass from an extremely displeasing experience back there. And also because you allowed me to see those assholes’ face of surprise and “how did she manage that ?!”, tell me more about your plan, and let’s see if I can help you back.”

And so Bruce starts to explain to you how, every year, this beginning of Fall is the worst time ever, as it’s a moment where everyone seems to want to marry off their daughter. And of course, Bruce Wayne is a good “party”. 

The plan was fairly simple. You’d fake a relationship with him, so he could avoid all of this, and in exchange...Well. You’d gain a lot in exchange. 

This is how you started to really feel like you had fallen into a “romcom” by accident...You and Bruce, became an actual living trope. 

************

“And then when the “marrying season” is done, you can break it off.”

“I ?”

“Well yes, I can assure you you’ll gain quite a rep if you break up with me haha.”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure you like that sort-of overly confident side of him. But you can see something behind his eyes, like a slight unsureness as he looks back at you, trying to see if you’ll agree or not.

“I don’t really need a “reputation”.”

Breaking up with THE Bruce Wayne himself. For sure people would talk about it a lot, and maybe it would help open some doors for you ? But you felt a little odd taking advantage of this like that. 

Seeing that he hadn’t convinced you quite yet, he adds : 

“Of course, I will pay you.” 

What kind of Pretty Woman sort of nonsense was this ?! You were about to protest when he added, realizing how he sounded : 

“I mean, you ARE doing me a great service. You ARE going to have to act, you know ? An...actual job ? And I will be honest with you, it won’t be easy, to find yourself in the public eye. I think it definitely justify a salary.” 

Put that way, you had to admit that, well, yeah it sort of did. Especially since you knew how crazy tabloids were about Bruce Wayne. Becoming his “girlfriend” would definitely put you on the front lines. 

“And it would truly help me tremendously.” 

Your grandma always said it : “True joy comes out from helping others !” So. What if you benefit from it a little ? If it helps you financially, and you can get a little network out of it ? First rule of Alchemy (what a weeb) : “equivalent exchange” ! Plus, he did really help you with your coffee, but also with Eric and Monica so...

And hey, this gap year was meant to help you find what and who you wanted to be. Help you go through this little twenty-something crisis. And this ? Living a literal romantic comedy cliche by faking being someone’s girlfriend ? Well, it definitely felt like the kind of adventure that could help you figure things out.  

With a smile, you finally nod and shake his hand, not knowing quite yet in which mess you actually put yourself into...

Briefing. 

Like every “secret mission”, this one too needed a “briefing”. 

A little meeting to put all the rules down, and the goals too. 

And here you were, feeling very out of place in a huge conference room in the biggest and tallest building in Gotham : “Wayne Tower”.  

The concierge stared at you for a very long time, when you said you were there to see Mister Wayne. No “nobody” like you ever called for his boss. 

Suspicious, as it was his job, he called security on you...Until it was finally cleared up that you DID have a meeting with Bruce Wayne ! 

Both the concierge, and the security guys, stared at you as you left to take the elevators they indicated to you, wondering who the hell had the kind of credentials to go all the way up there to see their boss ?! They didn’t recognize you from anywhere, not a model, not a famous politician or CEO, just...A regular person ? 

That was odd. And they noticed, it was odd. Which you assumed was what Bruce was aiming for, but it felt so awkward, to walk through this huge hall under their scrutiny. 

You finally arrived on the right floor, and oh look, some more staring. 

From his secretary, this time. She was used to see women coming to see her boss. But they’d usually wear Prada, and have plunging necklines full of pearls and fanciness. They weren’t...like you. 

You felt like it was easy, to know that you were just a “normal” person. You were definitely not wearing any designer clothes, and you were pretty sure the way you carried yourself made you super obvious. 

Hence all the staring. You could clearly see in her eyes, that she was wondering who the hell you were... 

She had her answer when Bruce came out of his office, and made a gesture as if he was going to throw his arm around your waist, and kiss you (which made you downright panic). But then, he looked awkwardly at his secretary, and instead just shook your hand. 

Something that DID NOT go unnoticed by his secretary. 

You saw how her eyes widen, and how she clearly hitched to take her phone out and call everyone...and you realized Bruce did this awkward thing because he knew his secretary, and her tendency to be a little gossipy. 

You’d discover later, in fact, that he hired her entirely because he knew if he said something, she would pick up on it and it would help him control rumors and such. Clever. 

For the moment though, he took you to a large conference room with huge windows. 

“I’m sorry for the weird “hello” back there, I wanted Shirley to think I was embarrassed to display affection to you in front of her. Usually, I do not mind at all. So doing it would make her think that-”

“I’m someone special to you.” 

“Exactly !” 

He smiles widely as you understood his plan (not sure how you felt about it, then again, that’s why you were here for, making sure you knew where both of you stood in all this), and then tells you he’ll be back in a few minutes. 

You have time to feel anxious and stressed before he finally comes back. 

“Sorry for the wait.” 

“Oh no, I bet you’re a busy man.” 

“Yes well. Anyway. Let’s get to it shall we ?” 

“Yes.” 

“Ok. So. I thought we’d settle sort of a little contract, so neither of us ever feel uncomfortable ?” 

“Sounds good, mister Wayne.” 

“Yes well first, please call me Bruce.” 

“Only if you call me (Y/N).” 

Oh and you two were still on the path of “romcom cliches”, with this conversation. He smiles, nods, and continues : 

“Ok, then I thought we could-” 

And so your fake relationship started, with some little ground rules. Like he could only kiss you after you gave him permission, if you ever felt overwhelmed everything would be called off, etc etc. 

Most rules were in your favor, to be honest. And WOW the paycheck he was going to give you for this little farce...Hey, maybe this gap year was finally gonna get interesting ?

Meeting the Little Buddy. 

It was sort of necessary. By then, Dick had been his son, officially, for a few months. He wasn’t calling him “dad” yet (and Bruce didn’t particularly want him to, at the time...ah but everything change one day, right ?), but they were already family. 

And it was a needed step. 

It wasn’t in the little “contract” you made, and honestly you could’ve refused to meet him but...Well, you liked kids. In another life, it felt like you could’ve been a teacher (A/N : AH, like in this story ;) : “Can you be my dad’s girlfriend, please ?” ). 

And you’d feel awkward, to fake a relationship and not ever meet his boy. 

The first time he saw you, it was at the Wayne Tower, and his eyes widened as he exclaimed : 

“Wow you’re so pretty ! Are you Bruce’s girlfriend ? You’re too good for him, you know.” 

You could feel your heart melt, how adorable this little guy was, right ? You chuckled, and almost full on laughed as you saw how vexed Bruce was by the comment. 

Not that he thought he was too good for you, no, he was just a little unhappy his son was stealing the show, and thought he couldn’t land someone like you...Oh but that, you couldn’t guess at the time, of course. 

“Nice to meet you, Dick. I’m (Y/N). And...I’m not really his girlfriend.” 

“Can you be mine then ?” 

You laugh again. You and Bruce had decided to tell him the truth, Bruce assuring you that kid was good at pretending too. You answer : 

“No, I’m saving him from marriage proposal.” 

“Oooooh !” 

Good at pretending. Dick had no idea what you were on about, but he was very good at acting as if he knew. 

It’s only way later, that he finally got it. By then, he already accepted you as : “his dad’s girlfriend”, and even knowing the truth, there was no way to change his mind. And to be honest, out of everyone, little Dick Grayson was probably the most aware of what the situation truly was. 

He had a knack, to notice how people felt. 

A “family” outing.

Two months in, and it was going GREAT. Faking a relationship was actually pretty easy. All you had to do was hanging out with him (and he was very nice to hang out with), and when a paparazzi was around, quickly kiss his cheek, or hold his hand, or let him put his hand in your hair...All those cute things new couples do. 

Today was one such small date. 

You could see Bruce was nervous, though.

After hanging around with him that many times, you started to know him a little better. Started to know he wasn’t really that persona he portrayed publicly.

He was actually quite a dork. What a pity, nobody else would ever know his real self...Yet, it made you happy you were one of the few in on the secret.

“Ok, out with it mister, what’s up ?”

He looks at you with such surprise in his eyes, as if it was the first time someone guessed what he was feeling...and, well, yes. It was. It was the first time someone who wasn’t Alfred got it. Someone realized something was on his mind. And asked him about it, didn't just ignore and move on. Actually cared to know. 

“I-Um...”

“Well ? Come on, I think literally nothing can surprise me by now, given you know, I’m faking a relationship with a billionaire, and it’s like, my job now.”

He smiles, and he couldn't possibly know how soft his look was, as he gazed at you.

“I...well, people don’t quite believe in us because-”

“WHAT ?! With all the “dates” and kisses and lovey dovey shit we did ?!”

He chuckles at your reaction, loving how honest you always were, and adds :

“The problem apparently is that you weren’t seen with my son yet, so many don’t believe we’re serious.”

“Oh...”

You met Dick. Because it felt like a necessary step to yours and Bruce’s scheme. And you knew he knew this was all fake...But neither of you wanted to confuse the boy in any way so he was kept mostly out of the plan.

“I talked to him, and it’s actually really up to wether you’re comfortable with it or not. I know he wasn’t part of our contract, and I should’ve probably thought about it, I’m sorry. But um...If you’re ok with it, we could..Do things with him, too ?”

Bruce is really nervous; And you’re pretty sure no one but you (and maybe Alfred) ever saw him like that. It’s kind of...sweet. But you let the silence linger for too long and he hurries to say :

“You really don’t have to ! It’s ok if they don’t think we’re that serious and I get some proposals. I can manage ! You’re still a great help right now. It was just an idea. Dick is a very social kid, he would go along with anything and loves to do activities outside. He would be fine. But if you’re not then we can-”

“No. No no it’s...It’s ok Bruce. The few time I saw him, Dick did seem absolutely a peach to be around. And I always have fun with you, so sure, let’s organize a little something and show those bastards we’re totally real.”

You chuckle a little, your smile and carefree face making his heart skip a beat, for some reasons...Bruce also decided to ignore how happy it made him, to know you were always glad to be with him, and instead, he smiled and settled a date.

************

And here you were. In one of Gotham’s biggest park, opening a basket full of delicious sandwiches made by the one and only Alfred. Pretending to have a great family outing.

“Hey, hey look !”

Dick was absolutely amazing, at acting as if you were really a thing. As if you were really a “family”. Right now, he was doing flips and cartwheels, demanding your attention with avidity.

Bruce made sure to always hide his face from pictures (he was GREAT at noticing where paparazzis were hiding, a life of practice, you assumed), as he wanted to keep as much as he could his son’s privacy (especially after he made all the headlines when he lost his parents).

It was quite adorable. And...You were really having fun.

Dick was such a lively kid, and he was full of talents. The food was good, and it was so comfortable around Bruce. It felt so natural.

This wasn't all that bad. To fake being a family. A good use of your gap year, really. 

You purposefully decided to ignore the glint in the boy’s eyes. The way you sort of suspected for him, this was getting real, and not only pretend.

You and Bruce purposefully ignored it, actually. And you both felt shitty for it. Because not only were you risking to break that little boy’s heart when it was all over but...It was too hard to accept that maybe, maybe he was right.

And that all of this ? Might’ve not been as fake as you’d love to repeat yourself.

First Official outing. 

First gala. You were terrified. So far all you had to do was hang out with Bruce in the afternoon, there and there. It mainly consisted in him buying you coffee, and keeping the addiction to caffeine real, while talking about anything that would come to your mind. The conversations between you two was always fluid and pleasant. 

Or you’d go out with him and Dick, to do some fun things like mini-golf or catching a movie. Nothing too big and scary. It was mainly just you guys, no one else. 

It seemed like he knew where the paparazzis would be (most likely because he was “anonymously” tipping them off himself), and he’d take you on random short dates when he had time in between his work, slowly fueling the rumors Bruce was not a heart to steal anymore. 

And that he was dating a “commoner” ! (He hated this name for you, while you really didn’t mind that much). 

And this gala, was what made it completely official. Finally. It was your idea, to take things “slow”, and hang out with him and his son BEFORE hanging out in public areas like this. 

It was clever, really. To make it seems like you were trying to “hide” your relationship by being low-key, to then finally announce everything in public like that, at such an event. 

Bruce went to get a drink for the both of you, and you were looking around you, horrified at the mere idea that someone would come talk to you. 

But for some reasons, nobody seemed to dare. Maybe Bruce made sure that people would leave you alone ? Even as if you were clearly the talk of the evening, all eyes on you, and not even trying to be subtle ? 

You knew he did the same with little Dickie. That he made sure he was safe from the paparazzi and that no unsolicited journalist would come around him.

Thinking of it, where was the little one ? Usually, according to Bruce, whenever there was a gala he would spend his entire time near the food table, eating as much as he could, and he would come home feeling nauseous because of it...Haha sounded like Dick alright. That kid was so-

Oh oh.

Who was that sleazy looking gal talking to him ? He seemed so uncomfortable, yet too polite to brush her off...Oh no, she wasn’t one of them, was she ?

Without thinking twice about it, wether it was your place to do what you were about to do or not, you resolutely walked towards them.

“-Think it’s because he relates to you ? As both of you lost your parents in horrific situations, you know ?”

“I-I don’t know m’am.”

When you saw Dick’s distressed face, and his eyes slowly filling with tears, there was no doubt in your mind.

This woman was not supposed to be there, and was definitely not supposed to talk to that child...

This woman was a - shiver of disgust- tabloid journalist.

Your blood boiled as you saw her take a picture of the teary eyed Dickie, and you were standing protectively in front of him before you could even think about it. When you felt the boy clutch to your sleeve, hiding behind you and holding on for dear life, you knew you wouldn’t regret it.

“Can I ask you why you’re talking to that boy, please ?”

“What, it’s illegal to talk to fellow guests now ?”

“Lady, you’re well in your thirties. He’s eight. You have no right talking to him. Not only is it weird, but I know what you’re doing.”

“Oh, and pray tell, what am I doing, lovey ?” 

“You’re trying to get a story out of him. And you should be ashamed of yourself. He’s eight ! And from what I heard, you were asking some very disgusting things back there !” 

“I-”

“Shut up.”

Your words came out harsh and determined, and the woman was so shocked she stayed silent for a while. You crouch down to Dick’s level, and ask : 

“Are you ok, my little buddy ?” 

He nods weakly, and then burst into tears as he launches himself in your arms, clinging to you tightly. You turn your head towards the woman, glaring at her so fiercely she doesn’t dare to take a picture of the scene, even as she knows she could sell them for a golden price. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself. He’s just a child !” 

The woman was about to say something else, something you knew would fuel your anger further, when Bruce arrived, and it was clear from his face that he was not happy. 

A quick look to you holding his crying son in your arms, and to the lady with the camera in her hands, and he understand what happened. With a cold voice you never heard him use before, he says : 

“I suggest you leave the area now, before I force you to.” 

There was something almost scary, in his demeanor. Almost like...No. Impossible. In any case, you didn’t worry about it much, drawing soothing circles with your hand on Dick’s back, trying to calm him. 

People around quickly stopped staring as they met Bruce’s assassin glare. It was not secret, that he was very protective of his son. And of his new girlfriend, apparently. 

You picked the little boy in your arms (Dick, at the time, was still so tiny), and Bruce comes closer, trying to soothe him too. And it really looked like all this was real...

Dick fell asleep in Bruce’s arms shortly after that, and was still there when it was time for the gala official pictures. Not wanting to wake him up, for once, Bruce allowed people to photograph the boy, as long as they did not frame his face. 

He laid his free hand on the small of your back, and just like you got used to those past months, you pretend to be head over heels for him and have one of your own arm around his waist.  

“Would you please allow me to kiss you on the cheek, for the cameras ?”

His question is so sweet, softly whispered in your ears. And you felt like a tease tonight, and maybe a little tipsy too. You tell him : 

“On the cheek only ? Let’s give them a show no ? Let them forget about what happened with Dick.”

Of course, you’re only joking, but there’s a light in Bruce’s eyes you haven’t seen before and...It disappears quickly. He chuckles, of that low chuckles that would charm anyone in the world, and says :

“I don’t want to force you to do anything you wouldn’t want to. Actually kissing me, I realize, might be too much.”

You know he caught on your joke, but you can’t brush off that light in his eyes that ignited when you suggested to kiss him...You don’t know why, and it feels you’re not controlling your own words, as you hear yourself say :

“Oh because kissing you would be such a horrible thing wouldn’t it ? Oh my, you’re only one of the handsomest man in Gotham, a rather attractive fella, how could I handle kissing you ? So disgusting !”

Your tone is teasing, and a little bit challenging. He catches on that, too. He answers : 

“But I am merely here to serve. I will do as you wish. You only have to say the words.” 

His smile fills your vision. His face. And the way he softly holds your waist, even as his other arms is carrying his son (the man was BUILT). And you think...Well, fuck it ! It was time for the first (fake) kiss, right ? 

Right here, in front of the cameras, where everyone was seeing you. Making it go full circle. Making it “official”. 

“Kiss me then, if you dare.” 

You simply say. Releasing a breath you were unaware you were keeping in. And he feels his heart squeeze, and as if he’s sweating a bit. When was the last time he was nervous about kissing a woman ? 

He couldn’t remember. 

And then he kisses you, the flashes of cameras slowly fading away as his lips melt onto yours. 

Wow. What a perfect, and nice, first kiss. 

As fake as it might be.

Your room. 

Your room at Wayne Manor was bigger than your entire apartment. 

You and Bruce decided that sometimes, so you wouldn’t raise any suspicion, you’d sleep at the Manor. Paparazzi were so on top of everything, it would seem weird if he was in a “committed relationship” and you never slept at his place. 

So Alfred settled a room for you. 

Oh. Alfred ! You met him not long ago, and he was the best ! 

It felt like he could magically guess what you wanted when you wanted it, and magically appeared with that warm cup of tea you craved, or that meal you’ve been thinking about all day. 

But beyond that, he was genuinely nice and made sure to make you as comfortable as possible. He showed you around, and his conversation was so pleasant ! 

You could actually see a lot of Bruce in him. Or, rather, it was evident that Alfred had raised Bruce most of his life, because they had a lot of similar mannerism, and were both kind and caring (Ah, imagine if Superman knew what you thought of Bruce, how crazy it’d sound to him eh ? But of course, that you’d discover way WAY later). 

You never went to explore much when it was time to go to bed, too afraid to get lost. This place was huge, and you never quite had a good sense of orientation. 

One could only wonder, what would you have discovered if you ever dared to wake up during the night, and explore his home ?

Build a Bear. 

Sometimes, Bruce really had to wrack his brain for original date ideas. Ever since he came back to Gotham, his dating days consist of pretending to sleep with every model in the World. 

He’d take them to fashion shows, to galas, to charity events...All very public places, unsuitable for a “serious” relationship like he was hoping to make yours and his pass for. 

Enter : Clever little Dickiebird, who always had an idea (and who might’ve been the best wingman someone like the Batman needed...that, of course, he’d discover it way, WAY later) :

“You can take her to a build a bear !” 

“Build...a bear ?” 

“Yeah, you know. You go and you make your own teddy bear !” 

“I do know, I took you to get Chester - the name of Dick’s favorite plushie toy now, and maybe with which he slept-. But...For a date ?” 

“What ? It’s cute and intimate !” 

“Huh ?” 

It has been a long time, since Alfred Pennyworth had to hold his laughter in that hard, and try to stay impeccably neutral. And there, faced with his master Bruce, who was known as the “ultimate womanizer”, the “perfect playboy”, and who was currently taking advice from his eight years old son...It was really hard to keep a straight face. 

It was also incredibly adorable. Especially how Bruce seemed to genuinely listen to the little one, unaware that he seemed actually way too interested for things just to be for his “fake relationship” to be more convincing. 

Not that Alfred was going to tell Bruce anything. 

“Dick, you know (Y/N) isn’t really my girlfriend, right ?” 

The way the boy talked about taking you to a date, felt to Bruce like he was forgetting this was all fake. And it was important to remind him.

But Dick had to invoke all the efforts in the world to not roll his eyes as to say : “sure she isn’t”, by now, it was oh so obvious to everyone but you and Bruce that there was a very real thing forming between you two. 

Instead, he said : 

“But you’re suppose to make the public really believe it right ? If you take her to build a bear, I can assure you they will think you guys are the real deal.” 

Bruce pondered this for a little bit, and realized that his son was right. It did seem like a cute and intimate date to bring your girl to, even if she was your fake girl...

Ah. Bruce forgot his own words. “Dick is great at pretending.” He is. He really is. Just like right now, he was pretending his idea was completely innocent, while he knew it would bring you two ever so closer. 

That whenever you’d see those bears you were going to build in your home, you’d think of one another. And remember fondly of the memory. 

And oh. Oh that boy was right. 

Your bear was sitting proudly on your couch, and every time you saw it, you remembered how clumsy Bruce had been, filling his own bear up. And how cute he was, carefully thinking of his options. 

And every time Bruce saw his own bear, that Alfred, for some reason, settled in the Batcave on the “trophy shelves” (and for some reason Bruce didn’t take it off of it...), he couldn’t help but think how he had genuine fun that day. 

Genuine fun, for the first time in what felt like ages. And how your smiling and giggling face didn’t seem to leave his mind, whenever he saw that bear...

Conniving traitors. 

“We both agree, he’s in love with her right ? He’s just too dense to realize it.” 

“Oh yes, young Master Richard, he definitely is. And he is dense, at times.” 

“Should we do anything ?”

“No more than what you’re already doing.” 

“Which is ?” 

“Which is continuing to push them in the...Right direction.”

“Oh ! I get it ! I’ll keep going Al’!” 

“And I’m sure you’ll make miracles, young master.” 

Dick’s smile to the old butler was so pure and happy, that Alfred had a hard time keeping his composure once again. 

And oh. Oh how he wish they were right, and that his Master Bruce would FINALLY allow himself to be happy... 

Rumors and Truth 

Bruce was just a tiny bit older than you. 24, according to his wikipedia page. 

And you couldn't help but be a little jealous, as you were looking at the page to re-enroll yourself in Gotham’s university, knowing he was done with college.

Then again, he was obviously a genius and would’ve been done faster than you anyway, even if you were the same age, since he finished his PhD just the year before, while most people don't even START their doctorate until they're around 23/24. 

Mmmm. Made you think. Was this just yet another rumors about the man ? 

Maybe not, after all it was proven he started college at age 14, and in Ivy Leagues ones, all across the world. 

From Cambridge, to Oxford, without forgetting La Sorbonne (A/N : by the way, this is canon haha, Bruce really did start college that early and went to many different places, and honestly, is anyone surprised ?). 

This wasn't really something you absolutely couldn't believe, compared to other crazy rumors about him. And you knew he WAS smart. 

By then, you couldn't count how many things were circulating about him, and how hard it was to know the truth from just plain old rumors. 

He had over a thousand lovers, he had MORE than one PhD (impossible, right ?), he had died once but survived somehow, he was part of a cult, he often lost his status as a billionaire because he gave so much money to charities and such, but his companies meddled in so many areas that his bank account was always filled more and more…

Honestly that last part didn't really surprise you. You saw him gave his money away to things he cared about (like education and medical care) without a second thoughts, so the fact he constantly oscillated between "billionaire" and "multi-millionaire" didn't really surprise you, not when you knew him like you did now. 

You totally trusted the rumors that said that by now, he gave away more than he currently owned. It sounded like him alright…But how to know the truth from the downright crazy ? Did he really have a PhD or was this just an addition to how special and different Bruce Wayne was in Gotham ? What kind of PhD did he have anyway ? 1000 lovers, really ?!

So many questions. And not a lot of answers. Even if you grew closer (as friends, of course), Bruce was still somewhat of a mystery to you. 

He never really tried to dismiss rumors, even the bad ones (unless they touched his son). Which made you wonder if they were true or not. And you really, really, for some reasons, wanted to know more about him...

“Is something the matter ?” 

He asks. Oh goddamn you, day dreaming on one of your regular “coffee date”. 

You shake your head, sipping on your drink and say : 

“Was just thinking about...Tabloids.” 

“Ah.” 

He frowns. For understandable reasons.

“I was just thinking about wether some rumors were true or not.” 

“What do you think is not true ?” 

“I don’t really know, and you never really say a rumor is false so it’s hard to know.” 

“Do you want to know anything in particular ?” 

Bruce knows it’s dangerous, to let you enter his private life like that. There’s a reason, after all, why he never dismisses any rumors. 

It helped build his fake persona, and take away any suspicions that he might be the infamous Batman. 

But he felt weak, around you. As if he just wanted to please you, no matter what. Sometimes, he felt dangerously close to just tell you : “ask me anything and I’ll tell you the truth”, even if it meant revealing his night activities...

Crazy, right ? 

He knew it was. And that he shouldn’t let it happen. Yet here he was, asking if you wanted to know something. Craving your attention. It felt so unlike him. But...You seemed to unlock a certain part of him. 

The one that didn’t die with his parents, and remained hidden. The one that was the old little Bruce, full of hope, honesty and happiness. Full of wish for the future...Even if he knew there was none. 

“How was college, for you ?” 

You hear yourself asking, really wondering if it was true he was 14 when he started, and if it was...How different you guys were, right ? You were 21 right now, and taking a gap year after two years of college...When he was your age, he had already finished a master (or even maybe two). 

"My college years were actually pretty boring, and unlike some rumors say, weren't particularly wild. I was really young."

"Ah, I heard the rumors."

"Those are true, I'm afraid haha."

"Afraid ? You're a genius !"

Which is why you found, more and more, his "himbo" persona to be odd. WHat was Bruce Wayne trying to hide ? Mmm…

Bruce recognized that look in your eyes. The look of someone who was onto something, and it was too frightening to let it happen. So he said :

"Yes well, I feel I missed a lot, during those years. Which is why I make it up now hahaha !"

His boisterous laughter seemed genuine, and totally fooled you. You couldn't always be on top of everything eh ? And this, did answer your question about his himbo persona…Oh, Bruce was good.

And he knew it. He trained for years, to make sure nobody would ever even suspect him to be Batman.

But he had to be careful with you. He knew it. It was obvious. You weren't that easy to fool…

The Day Batman saved you. 

The fact he had to be careful with you was confirmed not long after. When, as Batman, he came to your rescue.

He should’ve known, that even with a voice changer, and a mask covering most his face, plus a demeanor that was completely different from his usual one, you’d still get suspicious...He should’ve known because he, by then, knew you quite well. 

But, what ? Was he suppose to just let you get mugged ? 

He couldn’t. 

Even if in the grand scheme of things, it would’ve been better, and he would definitely intervene if it got too rough...He couldn’t. 

He couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt, or feeling distressed.

He knew this was stupid. That he shouldn’t get so attached. That muggings weren’t really his area of expertise, that to stop them, he had to hit the big bosses. He knew. Small thugs weren’t his target. He had a much bigger vision. And rationally, he should be somewhere else right now. 

Yet he couldn’t resolve himself to. Because, and that was a dangerous thought and feeling, he was in l- 

“Why are we spying on your girlfriend ?” 

Dick’s voice takes him out of his reveries, good. It WAS getting dangerous. Still keeping you in his field of vision (you were slowly going back to your apartment, a few minutes still, and he could leave to do other things knowing you were safe and sound in your home), he answered :  

“We’re not spying on her, we’re making sure she’s safe. And she’s not my girlfriend, you know that.” 

“Oh yeah ? We’ve been following your “totally not girlfriend” since the night started, awfully looks to me like we’re um, you know, stalking her.”

“We’re not.” 

“Suuuuuuuuuure.” 

Bruce gives an annoyed look to his son, who had way too big a smug face right now, and says : 

“The night is calm, if something comes up we’ll go. But right now, it’s alright. And it has been made official, that she and I are a couple.” 

“Fake couple.” 

“Fake one to us, not to the public eye.” 

“Ooooooh !” 

Connections were quickly made in the boy’s head, and he understood why they were following her. After all, this was Gotham. And if THE Bruce Wayne had ONE known lover...Well, it was easy to know it’d attract some nasty business. 

Dick was about to make a smug remark of which he had a talent for, when it happened. He pointed at you, fear in his eyes, and Bruce focused your way again. 

“Stay here.” 

“What why ?! I wanna help her too !” 

“Because she’s too smart not to put two and two if she sees you with me. She knows us in our day lives. She’ll recognize us for sure, if we’re together.”

“Oh...”

“Just stay still, ok ?” 

“Ok.” 

Without a second thought, Bruce jumped down in the street down below, under Dick’s worried eyes. If anything happened to you, he knew his dad would never be the same again. 

And he knew he couldn’t bear to lose yet another person he cared about. Even loved. Yes. Yes Dick loved you, as if you really were part of his family...

The months of “faking” family outings made it so. Your worst fear happened. Dick was getting attached, hardcore. And he really hoped you and Bruce would figure out you were actually in love with each others before the end of your “contract”, and before his sometimes very dense dad would decide to let you go...

For now though, he was anxiously looking at Bruce making his way to you, after he spotted a suspicious group of men genuinely stalking you. 

************

“Hey pretty girl, can we talk ?” 

You stop in your track, turning around, cursing yourself for not having the instinct to just take off running. Oh. But you can see at least one of them has a gun. You can’t run faster than a bullet... 

“Ah it is you, isn’t it ?” 

You don’t answer, knowing what they mean. Bruce sort of warned you against this. But you didn't take his warnings seriously, and here you were, going home at night, something he definitely told you not to do. 

You just couldn’t sleep that night, and needed a walk...And here you were. 

“You’re gonna come nicely with us, right ?” 

“I dont’ think so.” 

Uh ? You’re pretty sure that weird robotic voice wasn’t yours. Even if that’s exactly what you wanted to say. And that’s...oh wow. 

That’s when you see him. Batman. 

Immediately, the atmosphere grow even tenser. And you can see the thugs who wanted to take you with them fearfully looking at him. 

“This has nothing to do with you Batman, leave us alone, we didn’t do anything wrong !” 

“It has everything to do with me. Leave.” 

“We have to-You don’t understand. We have to take her to-” 

“Nowhere. Leave.” 

Even if he was protecting you, you had to admit that, that dude was frightening. He had his back to you, and even then, he looked so intimidating and tall and broad...

Bruce was tall and broad too. But he was soft and sweet, not scary at all.

“OH MY GOD LOOK OUT !!” 

One of the thug had a gun pointed at Batman. Right at his head. He didn’t have the time to enforce his helmet yet, and if he shot around his mouth, he was done for...

A rock coming out of nowhere hit the thug right in the face. 

Coming out of nowhere ? To you, maybe. But Bruce knew that this was little Dickie’s doing. “Robin always has Batman’s back”, he said often...

For the time being, the one taking his gun out being knocked out triggered a “fight or flight” reaction in the others, and as two took off running (and were mysteriously hit by rocks too, knocking them out), three decided to attack Batman. 

Bad move. 

Very bad move. 

In a matter of second, it was over. 

He turns to you, and it’s hard to discern any emotions with his lighted eyes and mask. He asks : 

“Are you alright, (Y/N) ?” 

“How-How do you know my name ?”

“Well, you’re Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend, right ?” 

There was no hesitation in Bruce’s voice as, as soon as he pronounced your name, he knew he messed up...but he trained himself to think quickly. And this “fake” relationship was a perfect excuse, of course. Everyone in Gotham knew about you two, by now. 

“Oh, right, ok.” 

You seemed a bit disappointed, and Bruce couldn’t quite understand why...

It only hits him later, as he was going to bed, why you looked like that. And it made hi heart beat widely. Because he was pretty sure that it was because you sort of hoped Bruce talked to “Batman about you...Oh...Oh this was getting dangerous. 

But of course, Bruce had a reputation to be the one funding Batman’s gadget (a really good cover for the fact he was actually Batman). So they’d know each others...

But right there and then, as he just saved you, you felt so stupid, hoping that Bruce would’ve talked to you to Batman. Why would he ? How the hell would your name even show up in a conversation between Bruce Wayne and Batman (but oh, if you knew you occupied his thoughts many times, and who he really was, maybe you’d feel less bad ? It was, in a way, Bruce talking about you to Batman, right ?). 

You smiled weakly and shyly at this impressive being in front of you, and thanked him one more time. He nods, smiling too (oh ?), and bid you farewell. 

Ah. But Bruce didn’t notice your eyes go wide, as he took off with his grappling hook, and you caught the side of his face in a certain light...

Fake ?

"You know, he smiles more when you’re around.” 

Dick tells you once, you look at him curiously, as he continues : 

“And before you say it’s “all pretend”, let me tell you there’s a difference between this smile and the fake one. Look, that’s how he pretend.” 

On that note, he looked at you and smiled widely, exaggeratedly, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. And it was so like how Bruce portrayed himself in public, that it made you chuckle. 

It also scared you a little. 

Not because there was a possibility Bruce did smile more around you, but because as that little boy was being silly, and now imitating his adopted father further and oh so perfectly...You felt a surge of love for him. 

And that wasn’t good. 

Because the day, which was coming soon now, you’d have to “dump” Bruce Wayne, you wouldn’t be able to see that little one again...why would you ? 

It’d be too weird, right ? Someone like you, once “broken up”, would have no reasons or ways to ever interact with billionaire Bruce Wayne or his son ever again. 

That little boy was the sweetest child you ever met. He suffered a great loss so early in his life, and there he was, making you laugh and being nice by saying you made his dad genuinely smile. 

It hurt, to know that one day, you wouldn’t see him again. That he’d grow up, and you wouldn’t know what he became. 

You were sure he was destined to become a great man, and you wished you could see it...No. No this was bad. This was so bad. 

“I mean it you know.” 

His little voice brings your attention back to him. 

“I think you make him happy. With you, it feels he can be himself. He laughs more, really laughs. And it’s often that he tells me “oh this makes me think of (Y/N)” and calls you. He doesn’t need to call you for the fake relationship thing, right ? Yet he does. That means something. I think he likes you.” 

You shake your head, smiling at this little boy’s wild imagination. No way. No way was THE Bruce Wayne falling for you in any way. Were you guys becoming real friends ? Sure. But it definitely stopped there. Right ?

Oh but if only you knew Dick had a knack to see this kind of things, and to guess people’s real feelings. If only you knew, that yes, Bruce was starting to fall for you...It would make the next episode way less painful for you. 

“Catch me dead before you catch me catching feelings” - You to yourself, a few days before starting a fake relationship with THE Bruce Wayne. 

“Fuck you” - You to yourself, almost six months in faking a relationship with Bruce Wayne. 

This was...bad. 

Soon enough, you and Bruce will break this entire deal off, you will “dump” him, and you’d go on your separate ways. And...

This was bad. 

Why ? WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST HANG OUT WITH THIS AMAZING CHARMING MAN AND THAT’S IT ? Why ? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND CATCH....

Catch...

Catch those body shivering “feelings”. 

Not just for Bruce though. But for the little buddy too. 

You felt yourself fall for Bruce slowly, and as if it was completely out of your control. But you also felt like if Dick wasn't in your life anymore...You wouldn’t feel whole again. Like he was sort of your son, too, by then. 

This was so bad. How did you get yourself in this mess ? What was that FIRST rule you gave yourself when all this started ? 

Right, “Catch me dead before I catch feelings”. Damn it. 

Thanks GOD the “marrying season” was finally coming to an end. Both you and Bruce settled you’d wait a few weeks after it to make your break-up official, so nobody would be tempted to cancel any wedding plans to try and force their daughter onto him.  

And it couldn’t happen soon enough. 

Being around him now, faking being in love, was torture to you. 

Kissing him knowing he felt nothing. Holding his hand in public while you knew in your heart he was just putting a show still. And hanging out with him feeling that you had absolutely no chance of this ever evolving...

It hurt.

It hurt so bad. 

And you were slowly hoping you never agreed to being his fake girlfriend. Being a living cliche, the money and the fame were REALLY not worth the heartache. 

So not worth it...

The end...?

"Well mister Wayne, it has truly been a pleasure to be your "girlfriend" haha. Seriously, I had a lot of fun, and a little revenge on life. You know, I saw Eric and Monica not long ago. They tried to become my friends again, knowing I was with you. It was great, to ignore them like they ignored them. You’re right, they’re really not worth it. And honestly I still don’t think we’re even after they hurt me like they did but...In the end, they looked so outraged. Win-win, really. Thank you very much."

"Thank YOU, for playing along and doing more than you bargained for. You really saved me a lot of hassle and…I had fun, too."

Your taxi was pulling in front of the Manor, and honked as he parked. Clearly, not a very patient driver.

"Well, see you around, Bruce ! If you're not too busy, you know…I kinda consider you a friend by now ?"

"Me, too."

Bruce lied. A "friend" ? No, it couldn't cover and explain all his feelings for you. A "friend". How ridiculous.

As you walked away, giving him a last smile, Bruce felt a pang in his chest.

A painful and yet happy one. A longing one. One that told him that "friend" wasn't what he wanted to be…Not anymore…

But was there really a future for you and him ? Probably not. His nightly activities would get in the way. You deserve more than the life he could give you. Being his "fake" girlfriend, you only took part in his public matters. Part in a fake world full of nice things, that was far from his actual life.

"Friend", he wished he could be more to you than this.

But he knew.

He knew that for your own good, he had to stay away. And oh, oh how he wished he could be more than just your "friend" or "fake" boyfriend. 

Yet he watched as you walked away. Without doing anything. 

He watched you leave, and felt the hole in his heart expand a little more. But didn’t try to catch you, or stop you from leaving. 

And your taxi was already far, now. On its way to Gotham. 

"So you gonna run after her oooor…??"

Dick's little voice takes him out of his reveries.

“Mmm ?” 

“(Y/N). Are you gonna run after her, or stand there looking like a sad puppy for the rest of your life ?” 

“I do not look like a sad puppy.” 

“Yes you do, and you know it. Come on dad, why are you doing this ?” 

This was the first time Dick called him dad. Which didn’t go unnoticed to Bruce. It meant...It meant something was definitely happening. He felt it in his heart. Something that was dangerous. Oh so dangerous. 

Hope. Like the “old Bruce” had. Hope. Full of it. Before his parents were murdered in front of him, for no reasons. Meaningless. 

Hope. 

To have a family again. Ah. But...Being with you was impossible. And Dick would be enough. He would. He was already enough... 

“How long are ya gonna torture yourself exactly ?” 

That boy was too smart for his own good. Bruce said : 

“I’m not. I just...I can’t be with her.” 

“I cAn’T bE wITh hEr !! ...Why ?!” 

“You saw what happened, when it was made official we were together. She almost died.” 

“And you saved her. Your point being ?” 

“Dick...”

“Don’t -he takes a mock Bruce voice- “Dick” me mister ! You’re afraid to be happy, and I won’t have it. You gave me another chance to have a family. A dad. And I’m not about to let my dad punish himself for feeling good. You told me yourself my parents would like for me to be happy. Well yours would too, you big idiot ! So now, you listen to me.” 

Dick, meaning business, jumps on the stairs’ bannister to sort of be on eye level with Bruce, and says, pointing his finger at him : 

“You take one of those fancy useless sport car, and you run after her. Capish ?” 

There’s a moment of silence. During which Bruce is unsure of what to do. And then...Then he smiles at his son. 

His son. 

“Capish”, he simply says, and he rushes towards the garage’s entrance, under Dick’s happy look. 

Success. 

Bruce’s car was leaving the estate, when Alfred joined Dick at the front door. 

“You did it, Master Richard.” 

“I hope I did !” 

“Oh you did. You did. Thank you. Thank you for taking care of my son...”

Dick turned to Alfred, who couldn’t keep a straight face this time. Small tears gathered in the old man’s eyes, and sweet little Dick did not hesitate one second before jumping into his arms and giving him one of his famous “Grayson special” hug. 

It’s real. 

Back to square one. 

You. A bad day. Looking like a mess (this time not because of the rain, but because you cried a lot). Your gap year almost over and still not knowing who you were. With no coffee, but at least, you had a tub of ice cream. 

You already missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. 

You couldn’t believe those six months of “faking” would end up meaning so much to you, and feel so devastating as they ended. 

You wish you had never met Bruce. And that you’d been ridiculed by Eric and Monica, that your life would still be pathetic...Pathetic maybe, but at least, your heart wasn’t completely shattered. 

You don’t hear the hurried knocks on your door, at first. Entranced by your own sadness. It’s only when they become loud and insistant you react. 

You really hope it’s not a journalist. They sort of tried to talk to you so many times, since you “dumped” Bruce...You knew he made sure that they’d stay away, but some were particularly persistent. 

Including that awful woman from the charity, who was asking Dick those horrible questions. “Vicky Vale”, was her name, apparently. What a witch. 

Clearly, the knocking wasn’t gonna go away, so you stood up, settled your tub of ice cream on your coffee table, and went to the door, ready to fight if need be. 

But there was no need for fights. 

At least, not in the literal sense of the term. 

“Bruce ?” 

He seems out of breath. Incredible, given how in shape he was. He doesn’t really leave you any time to say anything else, as he blurts out :

“I was wrong.”

He blurts out out of nowhere, and you’re even more confused. Before you could ask what was all this about, he adds : 

“I was wrong. When I said you were the right person because you were “normal”. You’re everything, BUT “just a regular person”. You’re the most fantastic woman I’ve ever met. You decided to help a total stranger just because. I know I helped you before, but it doesn’t compare to what you did for me. Especially on a matter that seems so silly to me now. You put yourself in a very awkward position for someone you didn’t even know. In front of the public, for a guy like me. You knew I was a “playboy”, and that I could very well use you. Yet you still put up with it. You accepted my son, even as you didn’t have to. Even as, just like me, you are so young. You were nice to Dick, even if all you needed to do was pretend. You’re...You’re...You’re just something else entirely. It feels like you know me, the real me. Like you can read my very soul. Like you’re the only one for me. I’ve known for a long time. I ignored it because I was afraid of what that meant but...but a certain little one made me realize this was time. It’s time to move on. It’s time to allow myself to be happy. And so, here I am.”

Was this...it ? The point of your gap year ? To discover that finding yourself...Meant finding your soulmate ? 

It sounded silly. While at the same time, not. Because you felt it. You felt it deep within you. From the moment Bruce handed you that twenty dollars bill, fate was in motion. 

You meeting Eric and Monica wasn’t bad luck. It was the opposite. It was the Universe’s push towards your real Destiny. 

Towards Bruce. 

“You’re not saying anything. Is this bad ? Or does it mean I blew your mind away ? I’m clearly hoping for the latter...”

Over the months, you discovered how huge of a dork Bruce Wayne could be. Even as if there was often a darkness right behind his smiles. Deep within his eyes. You discovered he wasn’t always this cocky arrogant man he portrayed himself to be while in public. How he was actually pretty funny and oh so empathetic. How...How so many things, the list seemed endless in your mind. 

And it only added to everything, that he looked so unsure. And so you smile. You just smile at him. And everything you feel is in that smile. 

You don’t even realize you’re holding each others now, and that you’re kissing...

It’s not pretend this time. 

A real first kiss. 

Though maybe all your kisses until now weren’t as fake as you pretended them to be. 

In any case, this, right now, is a real kiss alright. 

A real one. 

Full of all the pent up emotions. Free of all the fear and hurt you both felt as you realized you were in love with the other one, yet you thought things were all “fake”. 

Because it wasn't fake. It wasn’t. 

“I love you.” 

You don’t know who said it first. You, or him. You felt so in sync, that it didn’t matter. What is sure, is that you both said it. Before you closed the door to your apartment, leading him in. 

Before you spend the night in each other’s arms.

Bruce not even thinking about going out as Batman..

For the first time in years, he decided to fully embrace being happy. 

“You always told me my parents would wish for me to be happy, well yours too !” Dick said. And oh, he was so right.

By the way, I’m Batman. Surprise. 

“It’s not like I didn’t know, you know.” 

“Huh ?” 

Oh. Oh the delight to see that surprised expression on Bruce’s face. It was quite a rare one, really. And as he finally gathered the courage to tell you who he really was, risking losing you in the process but wanting to show you his full self...

It was particularly delightful. 

“Busted you on that night you saved me. As if I wasn’t going to recognized that jawline.” 

“Wait, really ? I really thought you bought my lies !” 

“Well now, you know not to underestimate me.” 

“I...Do.”

A natural smile reaches his face, and he approaches you, pulling you to him, and laying a soft kiss on your lips. Feeling fully accepted and loved, like never before. And he could see you-

“Oh NO EWWWWWW !!!” 

You pull away from Bruce’s kiss (noticing his slow grumble, displeased to lose  your warmth), and look at little Dickie (your son too, now !), staring at you two, looking disgusted. 

“Get a ROOOOM !!” 

This makes you laugh. A lot. And oh. Oh how would you ever guess, in that moment, that one day, this “get a room !!” said in such a disgusted tone would be the trademark of your children (SIX OF THEM) whenever they’d see you and Bruce display any sort of affection to one another ? 

You couldn’t guess, of course. But even in that moment, as you softly laughed, in Bruce’s arms, while looking at your son now making exaggerated noises and acting silly, you knew this...

This was what you’ve been looking for during this gap year. 

This was who you were. 

Right there. 

At the heart of a loving family, even if right now, it was just the three of you (four, let’s not forget Alfred !). 

The end. 

_________________________________________________

And here we are. I hope you liked it ? I feel particularly nervous about this one haha. Don’t hesitate to leave a little comment and reblog :),  It’s always greatly appreciated, and encouraging :D. Thanks in advance, and see you soon with a new story ! 

[leportraitducadavre]

Man, I wish Kishimoto didn't just drop the Hyuuga plot like he did after the Chunin exams. The way he ended it with Hiashi apologizing to Neji and then Neji just being friendly with Hinata/happier with his clan is so... empty to me.

I've seen posts pointing out the absurdity of Hizashi's death being painted as "for himself/freedom" and was his choice when the dude was most definitely going to die for the Main family anyway. Like, he just decided that his death for them wasn't going to be the hard way. He just accepted it.

Someone said Hiashi was emotionally manipulating Neji with his apology and I agree.

And then, as you and so many others pointed out, there's still slavery, curse marks and no equality within the Hyuuga clan. Neji just gets faux equality and that's it. That's the "beautiful change" of the Hyuuga clan. Neji isn't treated like a dog, trains with his uncle, doesn't wanna merk Hinata anymore, and then leaps to his death for her, a Main house member. Wow.

In my opinion, that apology, the dumbass fight with Naruto and training with Hiashi shouldn't have been enough to change Neji's outlook. Kind of sounds like the easy way out to simply make him another Konoha dog. He's just content with his shitty life afterwards and I hate it.

Neji is certainly smart enough to look at the context of his dad's death and go "....but he still died for Hiashi. A Main family member like his fate intended." And it's not that I wanted Neji to forever be pissed off with his life, I just wanted better for him and the other Branch members. But instead, he has the same life but just a wee bit better and he looks at it happily. WHY.

And as much as I hate Hinata's privileged, selfish ass, Neji didn't need to continue channeling all his rage towards the Main family onto her. Not for Hinata's benefit but because I'm not biased and know that she literally couldn't do anything at their young age about the slavery.

...but then again as they got older (i.e. teenagers), Hinata got worse (way more selfish acting and even more Naruto obsessed). So maybe Neji hating her again would've been alright cause I sure would've. He's still a fucking slave like so many others and she's not advocating for any change, she's just obsessing over a guy who barely remembers she exists and then has the nerve to call Neji "nii-san".

It was necessary for him to end it in such a vague way because it would be like opening a can of worms, there would have been no justice until the dismantling of the Hyuga clan -which will lead to the dismantling of the shinobi system, and that can’t be done if the objective is making NAruto thrive and get the recognition he sought for.

I've seen posts pointing out the absurdity of Hizashi's death being painted as "for himself/freedom" and was his choice when the dude was most definitely going to die for the Main family anyway. Like, he just decided that his death for them wasn't going to be the hard way. He just accepted it.

Yes, I mentioned something similar here

Someone said Hiashi was emotionally manipulating Neji with his apology and I agree.

I’m not sure if it was another person, but I’ve said that before. So I agree as well.

And as much as I hate Hinata's privileged, selfish ass, Neji didn't need to continue channeling all his rage towards the Main family onto her. Not for Hinata's benefit but because I'm not biased and know that she literally couldn't do anything at their young age about the slavery.

But why are we asking Neji, a thirteen-year-old boy, a slave, to be logical and don't hate Hinata when she's someone who benefits from his enslavement and position as a Main Family member? Why are we being so harsh on him for lashing out to her and not on her when she acknowledges the reason for his anger only to brush it off (almost mockingly, as well). We excuse Hinata's inaction because she was "too young", but isn't he also too young as to understand to whom he should be directing his anger?

Furthermore, Neji told her to forfeit multiple times and she refused each time -his monologue about her weakness wasn't untruthful and it isn't something he hadn't heard before (the Hyuga clan's dogma literally educated him to believe that something as destiny exists, since because Hizashi was born after Hiashi, he was bound to obey him or get punished for his disobedience, as was his son). So how come is cruel of Neji to say those things when he believes them to be true because it's what happened to his father and to him? He can't force his own destiny because he'll never be allowed to disobey Hiashi -or Hinata.

He lashes out towards her because she's the only one there and who is in the same context as him. He wouldn't be able to touch Hiashi even if he wanted to (which he does, he also hates Hiashi), because not only Hiashi is the current leader, but he's also an experienced Jönin. And let's not forget that he was marked on her birthday -meaning, he's her slave.

So maybe Neji hating her again would've been alright cause I sure would've. He's still a fucking slave like so many others and she's not advocating for any change, she's just obsessing over a guy who barely remembers she exists and then has the nerve to call Neji "nii-san".

But again, why would she advocate for a change when she's not interested in such a thing happening? Nothing interests her outside her love for Naruto and her need to get acknowledged by him. Furthermore, she gets to have bodyguards; and she doesn't seem uncomfortable with the thought of them being punished if she gets hurt (to the point where she jumps in to fight non-other than Pein -who obliterated Konoha on his own).

[volterran-wine]

So, I was thinking about something earlier.

Do/can vampires feel human emotions after they've lost their humanity? I know in Canon the Cullens seem like a relatively normal group of people, with wants, emotions and all. But could those emotions that were regularly displayed be leftover ideals from their human life? Perhaps vampirism enhances those stronger emotions, along with the person's strength and speed.

To circle back... Would a vampire be able to keep their human emotions after losing their human side?

Also, do you think those characters shown in Canon would think an "overly empathetic" vampire is odd?

Thank you, Queen!

- 🦊

Oh my! Another woodland creature has made their way to my little blog. Good evening FoxAnon, and thank you for your question.

𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 & 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

The short answer; indeed vampires feel the same emotions that we do, but even stronger. But I will of course elaborate more upon my thoughts for your reading pleasure.

The thing with my blog is that I pick parts of canon that I like, embellish it or throw it out the window; I have pretty much created a lot of my own lore to color my opinions. In the books it is described that a vampires emotions and characteristics from their human life will be frozen, strengthened and carried over to their vampiric one, they will never change. If you had certain personality traits that were shaped by the times you lived in, you will have those for eternity. Their outlook on the world can change, but not their core personality. So if a vampire happens to be overly empathetic, other vampires would know that they must have been like that in their human lives as well, it's just how their personality is.

Now Volterran-Wine does not have a degree in psychology or how the hell our brains work, but she finds this concept very... strange. If you are a living thing with a functioning brain, hell in fact your brain is superior; your personality not changing when living for hundreds if not thousands of years makes very little sense. It's almost an analogy for; if you were a terrible person once upon a time you will forever be a terrible person, I don't subscribe to that sort of logic.

Stephenie definitely wrote The Cullens as the good guys, despite the fact that they go against their very nature. They have the moral high ground while being the minority among their vampiric brethren according to her. Because of that they come off as having deeper personalities and emotions, while the bad guys or side characters can come across as quite one note. The Volturi are the villains despite embracing who they are and attempting to keep order among a species that very much can cave in on itself.

Within my own writing and worldbuilding I portray vampires with more emotional depths, problems and pleasures; they are after all still people at the end of the day. Yes, they have a more animalistic and feral nature; one I think is interesting to have in mind while worldbuilding. Writing from the point of view from an apex predator is quite entertaining when I write The Volturi unapologetically being vampires. To me what makes vampires so fascinating is that blend of feral cruelty and refinement, they are something entirely unique.

I find it much more compelling and unsettling to imagine a species that is so like our own, but oh so far removed from us as well.

[gregorygerwitz]

Totally want that last bit of over it re: mouse please!

[ song: Over It by Arrows In Action ] [ verse 1 - September 2011 ] [ verse 2 - October 2011 ]

Absolutely!

The bridge is fairly short, comparatively, so this won't be as long as the other two posts, but I will still be putting it under a read more. Mind the warnings on this one, folks, because this is what we've been building up to, the big angst.

Warnings: Mouse's mommy issues, homophobia + forced outing, depression, drug use and addiction, suicide attempt

Look at the warnings again. Read all of them. Read them twice. Okay? Okay, strap in.

September and October were the beginning of the bad stuff, and Mouse's mental health getting steadily worse. And then November happened, and there was the one time he took Jay along to brunch and was outed to his best friend and an entire café of people, and for obvious reasons his relationship with his parents really was done after that.

His mother still called every other day at minimum, not that he ever answered the calls after that, and the messages she left usually boiled down to telling him to stop throwing a tantrum and to call her back. He didn't, of course, but that didn't stop the calls from coming. She still tried to make it about her without ever actually apologizing for what happened, or even trying, and it definitely didn't help the fact that his addiction was steadily getting worse with less access to relatively safer and "cleaner" pills from a pharmacy, because his money was going toward just staying alive, not being safe while he fed into his bad habits.

And that's when he hits his rock bottom.

Rock bottom just happens to be taking too many pills, and being extremely lucky that Jay picked that night to swing by and offer dinner, and waking up in the emergency room with only one person by his side. Because Jay absolutely got the number out of Mouse's phone and called Thelma and Gregory to tell them where he was, but showing up after their son tried to kill himself would probably be seen as admitting some level of guilt in how he got to that point I hate them and I will one day best them in physical combat.

But after that night? And after the three day psych hold where he also happened to be going through the worst of the withdrawals while in a psychiatric ward (I cannot imagine any of that week was fun for him in any way, shape or form)? That's a new beginning, a completely fresh start. Mouse hit rock bottom and the only place to go from there is up, which brings us to the bridge:

I'm so scared I'll end up back home Everybody says that I'm close At the bottom of a hill Nowhere to go but over it

After all of that, even years later when he's part of Intelligence and things are going well, there's still some fear there. A part of him is always afraid that he'll end up in the same kind of situation - he'll spiral back into the drugs and his depression, or he'll end up in a situation where someone else is making all of the choices for him and controlling his life the way his mother did. And, honestly, the Over it bridge in that context reminds me of 4x05, too, when he voices that fear to Jay.

And the key change in the last chorus adds to that energy, for me. It adds to that vibe of something has changed, while somehow staying very much the same. Mouse is still very separate from the life he'd been living for two and a half decades, still cut off from his parents, still mostly alone in all of it except for Jay. But the outlook is different. There's a sense of "this is the same situation I've been in for a while, but it doesn't have to stay that way forever."

Got my rent to pay, but I'm broke All my shoes are down to the soles Yeah, my bed is still on the floor And I'm so over it, over it Everybody's falling in love While I'm stumbling home, still drunk Twenty-something, down on my luck And I'm so over it, over it

Over It captures the energy of that very specific era from start to finish - from getting kicked out, to rock bottom, and the beginning of the upswing after that - and I love the song so much already. I've only had this full song for 24 hours but I'm basing like 85% of my happiness on it and this rollercoaster of emotions it's been causing me today.