#defining torture
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its so so insane how dean has like. the huge fanbase he does. he is AWFUL!!!! i love him truly but im known for loving awful characters in fandoms im used to characters who act like him being viciously hated!!! and the only explanation i can think of is that hes played by jensen ackles (aka pretty white man). theres the fact that the narrative favours dean a lot when hes not actually right (a la s4) but thats not just it because dean is pretty clear-cut presesnted as getting morally greyer to the point of antihero territory in like s9 (where im at) at least. and Yet. he is unproblematic ally king to all??? supportive brother of the century??? Girl what???? do you know who dean winchester is? he is a controlling possessive clingy manipulative aggressive unstable thirty five year old who cant grow past his own damage and never really will because the narrative is perpetuated by the cycles he keeps perpetuating
#thing is like. the narrative corrupts dean under the guise of heroism and makes him worse and worse while it punishes sam under the guise of#justice and hurts him more and more#its like how their most defining moments of hell trauma respectively is dean torturing others and sam getting tortured#dean is The Good One and sam is The Bad One but the narrative pushes dean so much and makes him so angry he breaks and gets worse#and more 'villainous' (bad word). and the narrative hurts sam so much for the crime of being born the bad son that he just becomes more and#more of a victim. at the start of the show dean is michael and sam is lucifer. thats their destined roles. but by season nine dean is cain#and sam is abel. thats what it comes down to. Augh.#and they need to keep being codependent and resurrecting each other and needing each other forever and ever and getting worse and more#damaged in tandem because thats how the show even exists. meta!#and all this is soo like. because in supernatural the narrative is god. god is the author of their book series. Christ#what a show. its SO good despite not being good at all.#spn#oliver talks#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#spn meta
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The Bahkauv: Communication
Fantasy whump, previous torture mentioned, nonhuman whumpee, captivity, multiple caretakers (carewhumpers is a fair definition too because of the captivity element), it/he pronouns intermittently, fear and reassurance
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Stephan’s bandaged hand throbbed in time with his heartbeat. To avoid agitating it, he tried to stay still. Just before full dark, they had been joined by another traveler. Francis was curious, as always, and too friendly. Stephan would have preferred they told the man to be on his way, but the hospitality of his companions won out over his caution. A lone traveler was just as likely to be a fugitive and a cutthroat as anything else, especially in these wilds.
The visitor claimed he’d had a river trout for his dinner, but that it had been stolen by a clever fox that was trailing him as he headed southwest. They’d offered him food.
Stephan prodded their campfire with a stick. At least they were headed in opposite directions, he thought irritably. The flames danced higher, illuminating the stranger’s shadowed and scarred face. He was bigger than all of them, including Stephan, with an axe on his belt and greasy hair that looked like it had not been cut in some years.
“Kind of you to give a stranger food,” he commented, chewing a piece of their carefully packed rations. “I’ve come across naught but unfriendly types in these times. Everyone suspects everyone else of something. I suppose it doesn’t help that someone’s just killed the King.”
None of them responded. Even Francis knew better than to engage an armed stranger in talk of politics. Half the people in these northwestern hinterlands called the old King the usurper, and the other half accused the new King of the same.
“Happy to help a fellow traveler, if we can,” came Francis’s diplomatic reply. It was belated, and the stranger looked up with a chuckle.
“I suppose you don’t have any antivenom among you, do you?”
“What bit you?” asked Francis immediately. He’d probably ask to see the bite, Stephan thought. Take notes in his field journal like an obsessed scry. Always the scientist, even in moments where it was hardly appropriate.
“Not me.” The stranger nodded toward Stephan’s bandaged hand. “The big redhead. You get bit by an adder collecting firewood? Or was it that creature you’ve got there that you’re pretending is a particularly quiet companion?”
Stephan’s gaze flicked to the bahkauv before he could stop himself. It had heard, alright. And Stephan no longer had any doubts it understood. Until a moment ago, it had done nothing but stare sullenly into the fire, a foot farther back than the rest of them, hunched against the evening chill. Despite the fact that none of them had punished it for biting Stephan that afternoon, it was still afraid of them. Now it was downright terrified, chest rising and falling faster, dark eyes wide.
The stranger on the other side of the fire gave a self satisfied smile and took another bite of salt pork. “I thought so. I was almost certain. That mop of hair hides the ears well enough in the dark, but it’s the eyes.” He pointed two fingers up at his own, glinting with firelight. “Not quite right, are they? I can always tell your kind, leech.”
Francis was looking at their captive with open sympathy on his face. Stephan wished he could elbow him without being noticed. Arthur was steadfast, betraying nothing with his expression.
“Antivenom?” Stephan asked as if he were largely disinterested. His bandaged hand throbbed and ached.
“Yes. You’ll be needing it, come the morning. Or maybe afternoon, it’s hard to say. You’re tall, and strong. Maybe it’ll take a while. But a single drop’ll kill a draft horse. Just takes its time.”
“Are you a hunter?”
“No,” replied the traveler. He nodded his head vaguely north. “But I’ve spent time in the far reaches. I know their kind. They’re rare, but still a nuisance. They look human when they’re not feeding. It’s disarming, I know. I see it too. But one of these things will kill you as soon as look at you, and when it’s on you, it looks like a wild animal. They stalk like mountain lions, move like shadows. It prefers to get a man alone, preferably too far into his cups to defend himself. They call it a bahkauv. Did whoever sold it to you tell you that? That bruise is fresh, or it would’ve healed already. Did you hit it?” he asked Stephan. “For the bite it gave you?”
“I’m afraid we’re all exhausted,” Arthur said, standing and brushing campfire ash from his pants. “And if what you say is accurate, we need to pack up before first light and make the city as quickly as we can.”
The stranger rose to his feet, surprisingly agile. “I’ve overstayed. I’ll be on my way. I thank you again for the food, and I wish you safe travels.” He stopped to ponder the bahkauv, as if studying the impressive boy-shaped disguise it embodied.
“Take another piece,” Francis insisted, going into his own pack and drawing out more of their rations. “For the road.”
The stranger took it with a grateful nod and untethered his horse, leading it cautiously into the darkness.
“Stephan,” Arthur said when their visitor was out of earshot. “How is your hand feeling?”
“It’s a bite. It hurts. But not unusually so.”
Was his heart beating faster than it ought to, or was he just alarmed by the idea of venom leaking steadily into his blood?
“The city is more than a morning’s ride,” Francis said. “I doubt any little hamlet we might cross before then will have anything to aid a rare, foreign venom, either.”
“If that man was even telling the truth,” Stephan pointed out, partly to calm his own nerves. “We shouldn’t have mentioned our route. What if he was a scout for some thieves? Or hunters?”
“We’re too far from the main road for that,” Francis reasoned. “That’s just paranoia.”
Arthur was resolute. “We need to leave now.”
“It’s pitch dark.”
“The trail is good enough to follow in the dark. We don’t have much choice. If—“
“No.”
Stephan turned at the same time as his companions like they were all drawn by the same puppet string. The fire crackled. Insects hummed in the trees and on the thick forest floor, and all else was silent. Their captive had spoken. It was looking up at them with wide eyes, its left jaw and cheek dark with a bruise from Stephan’s fist.
Francis climbed to his feet and went closer, crouching to a non-threatening kneel a few feet away from it. “What did you say?”
They’d all heard it. No, it had said, clear as a ringing bell. What Francis meant was— did you really just speak?
It leaned back from Francis like it wanted nothing more than to bolt to the trees. In the firelight, Stephan could see its hands were shaking.
“It’s alright,” Francis urged. “Will you say it again for us? We were arguing, we didn’t hear.”
“No,” it repeated, softer. “You don’t have to leave.”
“Its got a fucking northern accent,” Arthur muttered, barely audible.
Francis was the first to recover from this new revelation. “If Stephan is going to get sick, we need to seek help. That help is far away, in the city.”
The bahkauv shook its head. “He’s not.”
“He’s not going to get sick?”
The bahkauv looked from Francis up to Stephan as if it were on trial. “No.”
“How do you know?” Stephan asked.
“Because…” its eyes shifted among them again, trying to read the situation, like one of them might suddenly decide to hurt it. “Because I didn’t use those teeth.”
Stephan raised his eyebrows. “You didn’t use teeth that have… venom?”
The bahkauv nodded cautiously. “Just these.” It lifted its upper lip to show a row of unremarkable, human-looking white teeth.
“And you have…other teeth?”
The bahkauv took its his hand away from its face, mouth in a somber line now. It didn’t seem to want to answer that. “I didn’t use them,” it said forlornly.
“Are they hidden?” Francis pressed excitedly. “Do they retract, or are they a… a part of that other form you take? Can you use them at will?”
“Francis,” Stephan hissed to shut him up. Though the harsh tone was meant for his friend, the bahkauv flinched.
“Why didn’t you speak before?” Arthur asked. “It would’ve saved us all trouble these past few days.”
“I couldn’t,” it answered apologetically. It tapped its throat.
“You lost your voice,” Francis said. “Screaming?”
“Or burning,” Arthur added darkly.
The bahkauv dropped its gaze to its feet.
“So I’m not going to get sick?” Stephan asked. “No venom, not even on accident? I won’t be angry with you. I won’t hurt you. But I need to know.”
“No,” it whispered without looking up. “I swear it, Sir.”
“I’m not a Knight,” he said, but couldn’t help the gentle tone of his admonition. “I’m no Sir.”
He was not pleased that he only had the warnings of a strange vagabond and the promise of a captive to consider, but the little creature seemed sincere. He’d begun to think of it as such, as a gently pitiable little thing, rather than an threat, even after the bite. It was that disarming face, as the stranger had said.
“Why didn’t you use your venom?” he asked. “If you have it, and it’s so lethal… why not use it in self defense against your captors?”
The bahkauv looked wounded, and more than a little fearful. “You… you’ve been so merciful. I-I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to bite at all. I’m sorry. Please.”
Stephan held his captive’s gaze, both bright and dark and not quite human, like some sprite sent to trick unsuspecting wanderers into a dark wood. Again he was struck by what seemed like desperate sincerity in the bahkauv. Its voice grew thick with the beginning of tears at the end of its last sentence, and its chin quivered for a moment in such a convincing way. It was either more cunning than the fox that took the stranger’s fish, or it was a sensitive, frightened creature that had just had a very unlucky run with man, who was both its prey and predator.
“Now that I am certain you can understand me, I’ll tell you again. I didn’t mean to hurt you, either. I’m sorry I hit you. I reacted in fear just as you did. I hope there’ll be no more of it between us.”
The bahkauv’s face colored and it turned its delicate head. A few kind words of apology had made it shy, Stephan thought incredulously. After all he’d seen at that hunters camp, the fact that it could communicate not only in basic ways but in sophisticated sentences, and feel something as simple yet profoundly human as shyness made him feel suddenly queasy. How long had the creature begged with words for his tormentors to stop? Did they punish it for speaking, or was begging just so utterly useless it had given up?
“Thank you for telling us,” Francis said. “You’ve saved us a lot of trouble.”
“Now I feel bad putting that muzzle back on him,” Arthur mumbled with an air of disgust. He looked to Francis, and Francis looked to Stephan. Stephan held up his hands, bandaged and unbandaged. “You three work it out.”
“You’re the one he bit,” Francis pointed out. “I didn’t want to muzzle him in the first place, but I conceded for your benefit.”
Stephan sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Just the rope on the ankles is fine with me. I think we’re all sufficiently taken in with this… apology. Maybe we’re fools, maybe not.” He turned to their captive. “Do you have a name? What can we call you?”
It seemed taken aback by the question, and swallowed before giving an answer in that small, clear voice. “Rune.”
“Roon,” Arthur repeated. It sounded different in his Muirish accent. The bahkauv said it with a far-north R, the tongue lower in the mouth, like Hrune. “Do you want us to leave that muzzle off your face for the night?”
“What-whatever you wish. Sir.”
The bahkauv’s answer was intended to be deferential, probably informed by its time spent trying to appease hunters. In effect, it was just hauntingly true. They would do as they wished.
Taglist:
@paperprinxe @whumpsday @i-eat-worlds @handsinmotion @stormchaser819 @annablogsposts
@clickerflight @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud @scoundrelwithboba, @blood-and-regrets @morning-star-whump
@pumpkin-spice-whump @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @shiningstarofwinter @vampiresprite @thealchemistal @risk606
@alextries @distinctlywhumpthing @gr8butnotstr8 @a-formless-whumper @valravnthefrenchie @jumpywhumpywriter
@sordayciega @wollemi-whump @fleur-a-whump @tundra-tiger
#fantasy whump#nonhuman whumpee#torture mention#multiple caretakers#or carewhumpers depending on how you want to define it#I gave myself a little treat here that shouldn’t interfere with your reading if you don’t know my other stories ;))
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I didn’t get the maths autism or the science autism or even the fandom autism. I got the ‘reads up on the legal frameworks for prosecuting torture at 3am then resolves to make a letterboxd list of films containing torture according to the UN definition’ autism
#I’m stabby_vale on letterboxd btw#got persuaded to make an account and it has been everything for my autism ngl#i keep very thorough categorised lists of every film I’ve ever seen and want to watch#same with books#s talks#fr tho like torture is defined so loosely people will just make these lists of horror gore films and be like here torture#like no you don’t understand I’m not interested unless it’s a government or an organisation doing it okay
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Ruin gets to kill 50 billion versions of his abuser. As a little treat.
#tsams#the sun and Moon show#tsams ruin#I do feel for the guy#and how much suffered is enough for him to move on from his crimes?#I mean#He was imprisoned no less than 3 times#torn apart very slowly for a while (was it like a month? felt like Molten tortured him for a while before he was rescued and repaired)#enslaved about 2x#and now he's been forced to relive his worst memories#I feel like this is the point where we can let him move past his past#forgiveness is an iffy word to use since that was a crime of epic proportions#but no one deserves to be defined by the past they regret and are trying to be better from#also we all found out that unfortunately in the long run#what he did was a good thing because of the creators counsel#he just def should have tried anything else
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me when tumblr recommends me someone defending dr3 in the tags and i read through the entire thing and get mad bc they don't understand what brainwashing really is.
#'brainwashing has been a staple of the series for a long time' they say (mostly talking about mind control)#mind control in the fictional sense not the real world sense btw#magical/technological means of instantly controlling ones thoughts#the video in dr0? yeah. brainwashing. they were watching it ON FUCKING LOOP over and over to the point of desensitizing themselves#they were already vulnerable to start with as well. it was fucking conditioning them. not controlling them directly – brainwashing them#the monokuma kids? DIRECT MIND CONTROL#THEY ARE WEARING FUCKING HELMETS ON THEIR HEADS AND HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THEMSELVES OR THEIR AUTONOMY#THAT IS NOT BRAINWASHING!! THAT IS FUCKING!! PUPPETEERING THEM#they brought up smthn in the togami book. never read that but apparently there's a book that spreads despair disease#(info gotten from unreliable source in the book)#tbh it's probably propaganda to help despair spread better#it doesn't have to be fucking literal#also despair disease... if it is anything like dr2... IS NOT BRAINWASHING#IT JUST FUCKIN TAKES OVER THEIR BODY/OVERRIDES THEIR PERSONALITY AUTOMATICALLY#IT'S A MIND ALTERING ILLNESS???#NOT!! BRAINWASHING!!#and then of course saying brainwashing in dr3 is the natural conclusion and that it doesn't retcon anything#AND I AGREE BRAINWASHING IS THE NATURAL CONCLUSION. BUT DR3 DIDN'T DO THAT#it just fucking... made them flip a switch out of nowhere?#MIKAN SAID SHE BECAME THE WAY SHE DID DUE TO HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS#NOT BC SHE WATCHED SILLY DESPAIR VIDEO#to use magic subliminal messaging to INSTANTLY change the way someone thinks isn't brainwashing in your typical sense. that's mind control#let's define brainwashing shall we?#a method for systematically changing attitudes or altering beliefs#originated in totalitarian countries#especially through the use of torture— drugs— or psychological-stress techniques#or perhaps this one:#any method of controlled systematic indoctrination especially one based on repetition and confusion#REPEATED TORTURE. REPEATED WATCHING OF THINGS#**REPETITION IS KEY**
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I think Blue likes you. 👀
MASTER POST
Asks Start 💜
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#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk#lmk fanart#lmk macaque#monkie kid macaque#blue and violet#honestly at this point the Mayor's feelings really can't be defined by words#its wayyyyy too complicated because it actually doesn't make any sense#like Macaque helped kill LBD so obviously the Mayor resents him for that- wants to KILL HIM for that#but at the same time Macaque still means a lot to them#just like how despite LBD basically killing Ling and ruining their past life Mayor still loves her- ITS SO COMPLICATED GUYS#but more toxic than anything else- this is a very unhealthy relationship#and Macaque also has mixed feelings too and is still victim because Mayor did play a part in what was basically his ensalvement to LBD#Mayor is convinced LBD is so great but Macaque was literally hurt by her and was tortured and stuff- and yet Macaque still tolerates them??#anyways I love shadowpuppet guys#this relationship will work out eventually#anyways the blue text is a quote from Mayor in Colours#second to last chapter
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wait someone posted this banter on my TL i'm going to have a stroke
why is Solas just casually throwing a bdsm joke at the Inquisitor i'm going to cry why is he like this
#everyone else make sense but him he's so funny#'Solas is defined by his wisdom his pride his regrets his guilt his feelings he has to do everything alone'#'he's sad and tortured and tragic'#'he's also throw you under a bus if everyone is starting to tease you good luck.'#this is so funny bc in contrast in Solas' romance he is like....#i think he really only has one banter with Sera about the relationship where he's SOOOO smug about it#saying Sera is absurd and would never understand just how deep your love is and stuff#like he's like 'don't concern yourself with her vhenan'#and then all the others banters are post break up so it's tortured:tm: 2.0#but god sorry this is taking me out#re that one post being like 'you think you pinned Solas down and know how he is'#'and then he's going to say something so insane you're going to pause like. huh. didn't think YOU'D say that.'#but then again he's the guy who was talking about missing the intrigue and sex of palace's party at the winter palace#and like other flirty things he says BUT STILLLLLLLL#im going to cry#ichatalks about da
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Halfway through this ep and I can’t BELIEVE I’m being deprived of kisses, I can’t even concentrate bc I am in a blind RAGE I’m so offended rn
#this is torture#p’golf when I catch you….#count ur fucking days#Camille watches#wandee goodday#I can’t believe we r still fake dating I can’t believe we haven’t defined the relationship#WHERE IS KAO SOMEONE GO GET HER#Kao fix this save me Kao pls save me
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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭
#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t#understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always#because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3
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Started thinking about the Distortion's arc again. Dozens dead hundreds trapped in endless spiralling hallways for the rest of eternity.
#its just. its just really good.#the main arc of TMA is amazing and it makes the show what it is#but the distortion follows the best written subplot i have ever experienced#it spans the entire show and yet it is truly hard to see where its going until helen's final episode starts to piece it all together#she performed her long torturous deception like only an entity defined by lies and unreality could.#the dread she causes on a meta level within the audience is extremely well executed#people who picked up on her duplicitous nature vs those who wanted to just enjoy her fun and lovable trickster persona#the betrayal of trust feels so real though it had to be inevitable. we just didnt want to stop liking her#i will never stop thinking about how well-written this entire arc is#tma#tma meta#the distortion#helen richardson#michael shelley#mag 187
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was going to comment on the ‘failure of basic journalistic dilligence in the mass media’ or whatever but realized it would make it seem as of the problem was a momentary lapse in integrity that had been addressed. and it hasn’t been, not in the slightest.
It is so morally unthinkable that these major outlets never once mentioned the thousands of Palestinian adults and children stolen from their homes and from the streets by Israel. And even now, when it comes to their release, these pieces spend endless paragraphs describing Israeli ‘hostages’, but just a few words on the many children being returned (many of whom were arrested after being accosted by the IOF), who they refer to only as ‘prisoners’.
these white supremacist rags have been very consistent in their efforts to uphold the most violent tendencies of western imperialists, yes. but this refusal to acknowledge the reality of the situation: that Israel took thousands of hostages first, is one of the most blatant examples of their explicit support of this project, and of their mass failure to recognize the humanity of Palestinians.
#palestine#from the river to the sea#western journalism#liberalism#one uses a single sentence to describe how easily Israel kidnaps palestinians#but never once refers to these captives as anything other than prisoners#there’s a connection to be made to the dehumanization of those accused of crime and held in torturous conditions in western jails & prisons#but to state plainly that the iof is harassing/kidnapping/and jailing children for YEARS#without offering so much as a paragraph to define administrative detention#namely the lack of any evidence/proof that wrong doing has occurred#and then complete loss of contact with family and the outside world for these palestinians#it’s so deeply evil
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i am obsessed with hen and chim referring to buck or eddie as loverboy
#just read this in a fic and#yeah#they would#because thats what they areee#both of those bitches breath love for the other#to the point that its like. a defining characteristic of theirs#ofc hen and chim would say in when one of them is being ridiculously in love#bucks all. this is torture i love him so much and theres nothing i can do about it. hens like. sure loverboy nothing you can do about it#or chim just calling them that regularly#like buck isnt even there and chims talking to eddie like. so whats new loverboy#i am so in love with this#because if hen and chim are gonna tease them about their feelings theyre doing it in a way that is lighthearted and full of love and suppor#because they can see that its just like the love theyve made with their partners. the love bobby and athena made#big and earth shattering and filled with respect and devotion and adoration#a “my lifes a mess i dont show anyone but ill show it to you” and “ill step into your mess because its yours and i love everything of yours#kind of love#and how could they tease them for that#when they know first handedly how scary that kind of love and trust can be#of how rare that kind of love is#but its hen and chim they cant NOT tease them#so its loverboy#because its the kind of love that fills your entire being#and buck and eddie are both embarrassing and stupid
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i do deeply hate the new spawn!astarion dialogue after u fuck mizora btw. the original dialogue will always be canon to meeeee
#i refuse to start another astarion monogamy discussion. but the retconning of scenes and character traits in updates to this game#has made me so crazy.#okay well i’ll do a little monogamy complaining bc it’s 2 am#because the fact that larian seems to equate monogamy with ‘good’ and non-monogamy with ‘evil’#like. makes me start rattling the bars of my cage#funny how the only characters u can be nonmonog with without coercion are ‘evil’ aligned#and now astarion’s ‘good’ ending version is suddenly comparing u to the guy who tortured him for 200 years bc u got laid.#ofc he’s allowed to have boundaries etc etc etc but he still did before this scene was added.#not everyone defines relationships the same way and he simply did not consider it a major breach of trust. which is fine.#anyway. xarrai is going to be sleeping around for the rest of forever with and without asking him first#and he’s going to be their cheerleader every step of the way :)#and i hope every person who tries to claim astarion is actually strictly monogamous feels very vindicated by their new fan service#and also never speaks to me again :)#漫言
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You ever write something incredibly satisfying but you can’t show it to anyone at the moment because it contains Horrors they won’t comprehend.
#ra speaks#personal#‘beans why are you writing gratuitous torture porn?’ actually it’s a character defining moment do you have the time to read 50k of context?#sometimes you hurt characters just to hurt characters but when the catharsis is coupled with narrative satisfaction? mwah. beautiful.
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I do what that anon does with c!Tommy except with c!Dream lol I projected everything on to him
[context]
Same. He's just so projectable... and torturable ;]
#gotta love therapy via green teletubby... 10/10 do recommend#he's definately better to project on than tommy#like does tommy have a torture box perfect to represent this torturous world? nope... lame...#like is dream and his axe in exile supposed to represent all the hard things life tortures me with? because like come on I need variety pls#c!dream#c!tommy#c!clingyduo#dsmp#dreblr#no one does it like c!dream#truly... he is 1#projectable... or maybe that's because he is just so like me in many ways... yea could be that lol XD
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saw a poll about Gaius and Merlin that I can't respond to for some reason and it's killing me
#do you understand how much I love them? do you? no#would Gaius betray Merlin? interesting question#define 'betray'#technically he already did at least once#(no I'm not counting his confession under torture)#when he went to Arthur in 5x10 and told him about Finna#because he knew Merlin was gonna meet her even though he begged him not to go#and going to the king - that was BAD#they don't do that to each other usually. that's crossing a line#which is why Merlin was pissed#but Gaius only did it to save Merlin from himself#AND! interestingly Merlin did the same too once#when he denounced Alice (Gaius's ex fiancée) to Arthur#again; to save Gaius from himself#and again; big moment of conflict#I mean they also lie to each other all the time of course#but I'm not counting that#even THEY know they do it#they don't always trust each other to tell the truth (which is why Gaius knew Merlin was going to meet Finna)#but it never comes from a place of malice#it's how they try to protect each other#from pain; danger or disappointment#but at the end of the day they KNOW they've got each other's back#even if they sometimes (ok often) keep things from each other or lie#or have significant disagreements#they always KNOW they love each other#they never doubt that#and I think that's beautiful#sorry I just love them ok#merlin and gaius
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