#defining relationships

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

we need to step away from viewing marriage as inherently romantic, or the primary goal of romance. marriage is a legal contract we use to create important ties--financial, medical, next-of-kin, mediating shared property and parental rights. the details vary a lot based on where you are and what paperwork you sign. which is not very romantic! but it does have many real-world effects on our ability to share our lives with our partners.

first and foremost, marriage is a legal right we use to build and protect our families, whatever that family may look like

[tinartss]

akademiya shenanigans

[xtrablak674]

If We Share a Relation We're Related

My moms was hard-core in her thoughts about family, and this was her position, I am not sure if her philosophies would have changed if she was still with us, but these values are at the core of who I am and how I teach her grandchildren.

She didn't believe in pre-fixes my brothers were my brothers, full stop. Not half, not step, not foster, they were my brothers. #period Expanding on these positions if my siblings had other siblings by their other parent she would look out for all of the children. Meaning if she got something for one child she would get for them for all.

My late youngest brother has six children, those kids have an older sister that wasn't his, but when I visited with the children I would see seven children. Following my moms philosophies, if I got something for the six than I got the same for the seventh child. How crazy would I look treating one child different because the law doesn't clearly define our relationship? As far as I am concerned she is my niece and I treat her as such.

The father of my former favorite nephew was mad at me because this nephew wanted to come visit with me for a week and wanted to bring his brother along with him. Per my previous statements I was totally down for all this, as far as I was concerned the more nephews the more fun!

My former sibling attempted to forbid me from this action, like I am not a grown ass adult who pays for all of my own bill. Last I checked, I never came out of his nut sack so he had no sway over what I do or whom I invite to my home.

Anyhow this was a point of animosity and he was particularly pissed when I shared photos of the children's trip. "That other boy ain't no kin to me, I don't want to see photos of him." Well I made it clear he will either see photos of everyone or no photos at all, because I wasn't cherry-picking photos based on his distorted perceptions of who is and isn't family.

It was sad to me because this wasn't how we were raised, I wonder who had distorted his ideas of family and it was curious that I the pariah of the family had a better understanding of what family was and wasn't. If we share a relation than you're related to me. So my nephew's sister and brother were my niece and nephew and they could call me Uncle Trevor just like he does. Even though his younger sibling only visited with me for that one week they still call me Uncle Trevor and feel comfortable enough to be asking me to borrow money, which I constantly deny.

This all takes me to the conversation with the niece who will probably send me to my grave, the Florida-based one with the dead-weight boyfriend of nearly a decade. She's telling me how she's caring for her beau's daughter who stays with them every other weekend. She's talked about how the child has malnutrition, cavities and is addicted to coffee.

From my perspective all I see is red-flags, the trifling father of this child has never made my niece an honest woman, but expects her to care for his child emotionally and provide for her as if she was her own. I called bullshit and told her as much. I told her this child is clearly under some kind of ACS and once this neglect is discovered all the courts will care about is pointing fingers at the adults around the child. If she has no clear relation to the child it would be best for her to defer all decisions to the father and stay in her childless lane.

She went on to tell me she feels like a camp counselor to the child and that her roll has never been clearly defined for herself or the child. All of this is extremely problematic to me. I told her she is a parental figure, because if the child is ten and she's been with her dad eight years, she is all the child has known outside of her moms. I told her she has done herself a disservice to allow herself to be put in this undefined relationship purgatory.

One of the first thing I do with any kids I am interacting with is be clear about what our relationship is and what will and will not be tolerated within that relationship. I told her this is a theme of her life, continuing to exist within mediocre or sub-standard situations because they are familiar or comfortable. She is clearly a maternal or aunt-figure to this child and the dad is a fool for not making this clearer to both of them.

Both child and father share a relation her which by my definition makes them family no matter how blended. Its only through clarifying these relationships and acknowledging their existence can we grow and understand the importance of those in our life.

[Photos by Brown Estate]

[judas-not-that-one]

being aromantic is so confusing because i literally have no idea how i feel ever, actually

[lazylittledragon]

dood dump <33

[glassedplanets]

more sketches! zs on the brain

[cdyssey]

love how so much of the first half of carpe jugulum is about how much granny weatherwax is so fucking loved, even if she doesn't think that it's so.

her absence in lancre is unthinkable—an aching presence in the story. magrat has named her child after her and wants her to be the baby's godmother. she, nanny, and agnes drop everything to go and find her. they're constantly asking themselves, "what would granny do in this situation?" and then answering the question just as seamlessly because they know granny. they know her iron will and her unbending resilience, the way she fights against the darkness every single day.

she haunts the narrative because she is so deeply interwoven into the DNA of lancre and its people.

she is lancre, really, the unshakeable rock that the community organizes itself around.

and even when she's not there, her legacy is still deeply felt, living and thriving in all the people she has ever touched.

[wearecrowley]

[kuzoowl]

Mitsukou and their lame matching earrings

inspired by this

[spaceacekid]

The more I read about asexuality the more I realise no two experiences are the same, this spectrum is so broad and that's awesome actually

[seunghosgf]

𐙚𓈒 Define the Relationship

˗ˏˋ Karlyle Frost X Ash Jones ˎˊ˗

디파인 더 릴레이션십 ── BL manhwa ⭑.ᐟ

[habken]

I think about katsuki and izuku as patroclus and achilles way too often

[parrrty-poison]

thinking about the way that x files was really about the craziest most prolonged slowburn situationship in tv history

[zhongli-lover-69]

[harbingersecho]

are we the sins we have committed? are we the things we have endured? [...] who are we?

[ref]

[hypertechnica]

star trek as a concept is completely sexless. it is utterly devoid of sex. not one drop of convincing sexual tension has ever graced the screen on any star trek show. the weird unintentionally homoerotic psychosexual mind game shit on the other hand,