#defensive skedaddling. you know how it is

[graveyardrabbit]

have got to figure out how to explain to my brain that “what if we started driving and just kept going?” is not actually the answer to any given problem, and is in fact probably the answer to none of them

[what-even-is-thiss]

Basic life stuff on Father’s Day your dad may have never taught you

Men’s pants often have what’s called vanity sizing so a 32 inch waist between different brands is actually different sometimes. It’s still a good idea to try the pants on before you buy them.

A flathead screwdriver can be used on a Phillips head screw.

It’s always morally correct to simply walk away from a salesman. You don’t need to buy a mattress to be polite. Just leave. Walk away. Skedaddle.

A complete meal has fat, protein, carbs, and some kind of fruit or vegetable. A snack should have carbs and protein. That’s how you stay full for longer and get your vitamins. It’s really that simple.

Dumpster diving is legal in many countries including the US, Canada, and Australia but trespassing and property damage are illegal. If you are allowed to be in an area and can access the trash without breaking anything you can just take stuff

You should be thinking about retirement savings even in your 20s and 30s. Get a mutual fund.

If you go gambling, only spend cash and pull out exactly as much money as you’re willing to lose from the atm. Never use a credit card in a casino if you can avoid it.

You can add a layer of seasoning to a cast iron skillet right on the stove. You don’t actually have to put it in the oven every time.

To build a fire, build a little pile of kindling first with plenty of air under it. This can be sticks or leftover wood from the hardware store. Doesn’t matter. Then light some newspaper or leaves under it. This’ll help the kindling catch on fire. Then you can add a log to it. The log needs a long exposure to flames before it catches on fire.

Fresh cut wood needs to dry out for several months before it’ll work as either building material or firewood. Several years is even better.

Flower delivery for simple bouquets costs less than you think it does and makes a nice gift for people who are hard to shop for

University libraries often let the general public get a card to check things out from them for a yearly fee. This is useful to know if you’re ever doing some specific research.

To make hard boiled eggs easier to peel boil them with just barely enough to cover and let a lot of the water burn off. Then shock them in an ice bath when they’re done.

If you or your pets end up killing a venemous snake by accident or in self defense you should bury the head so that no animals get poisoned by it because the fangs can still distribute venom

Tall people who visit your house can see the tops of your cabinets and bookshelves. Clean accordingly if you don’t want people to see dust.

Annuals are plants that will die after one year and perennials are plants that live for multiple years

If you feel gross and like your life sucks maybe try getting a haircut

[alexa-yukiyu]

Could I request child reader where she ate the devil fruit that turns her into a spotted rusted cat( it's one of the smallest cats in the world, they grow up to 5'9 to 11 inches) i think it would be fun seeing her on whitebeards ship. Just a tiny kitty running around the deck, she was in her cat form and kinda dozed off. Maybe in a crate of supplies

Please just whitebeard holding this tiny kitten in his palm or by the scruff by the neck. She just turns back into a Human. She just feral because she's an orphan and looks after herself. She isn't scared to bite and scratch.

Claws out (Whitebeard pirates x f!Cat!reader)

Pt 2

A/N Guys I COOKED here, I have like one curse word here so be on the lookout for that, I also had to tease our favorite Freckled man on his origins on the Moby dick, just had to. Also double post today since I have homework I have been pushing back and have to do tomorrow so im not sure if I can upload tomorrow so wanted to feed you guys before

Reader here is replaced by dokucha which means Reader in japanese

Dividers by @/saradika

“How was the mission, Thatch?” Izou asked, walking next to his brother

“Ace and I rounded em in no time; he replied, making his way into the kitchen

“They never stood a chance,” said commander pipes in

“You should have- Is that a cat?” he asks, interrupting his statements as he glances at the feline freely dozing off on top of his kitchen’s oven

“Not again! Hey! Up and at’ em! Skedaddle!”

Dokusha opens her eyes as the sound of screams directed her way abruptly wakes her up, narrowing her eyes and hissing at the commanders

She shifts into her human form, taking a defensive position, ready to pounce on the two strangers

“Who are you?”

“Woah! It talks?” Ace asked his brother in disbelief with a broad smile

“Golly, Looks like it’s a zoan type,” Thatch says, glancing at the girl on his counter

“I don’t think she likes us,” Izou says, matching the stare of the stowaway and narrowing his eyes

“Get closer, and I'm clawing your eyes out,” she hisses

“Well, someone is grumpy,” Ace says, chuckling as he holds his hands up

“Now, aint that cute?” Thatch says with a small smile

“Hey, lil lady, how about you get off the counter, and we can talk things out?”

“How about you fuck off?”

“Aww, don’t talk like that lil’ one. Ya hurting my feelings,” Thatch says, smirking as he tries to come closer to the girl

“Careful, Thatch, this one is rather feisty,” Izou says

“Don’t worry, he can handle it,” Ace says, also coming closer

“Get the hell away from me!”

Ace and Thatch look at each other, smirking as they try to approach the girl

“Don’t be like that kitty, I just want to get to know ya,” Thatch says, trying to take another step forward

They hiss at him, pouncing on him

Thatch laughs easily, taking hold of her wrists and trapping her against him, bringing her closer to his chest, effectively hugging her trapped

“Sorry, Pumkin’, it’s gonna take a little bit more than that to take me down.”

Izou quickly steps close to the two, snapping a sea stone bracelet on her wrist

She frowns as her claws go back to normal, effectively leaving her defenseless, struggling against the hold Thatch had on her

Thatch keeps holding her close, ignoring her struggles with a grin on his face

“Quite the wild one,” Sighs Izou, glancing at the girl and ignoring the constant hisses and struggles

“Reminds me of yer early days, Ace,” Thatch laughs

“You think so?”

A smirk was visible on Ace’s face at this, and he replied with a sarcastic tone of voice

“I reminded you of a cat?”

“A dejected one, always trying to get to Pops,” Izou comments

“I was not a dejected cat! If anything, I was a fierce one.”

“If ya say so, Ace,” Thatch says with a grin on his face

“Let me go you lowlifes!” she continues hissing and struggling, unable to move and trapped in his grip

“Quit your bellyachin; we’re not even tryin’ to hurt you,” Thatch says, still holding her in his grasp

“Come on, we just want to talk,” Ace says

“Let’s talk without these on then,” she growls, gesturing to the bracelet now bound around her wrist

“Sorry, the bracelet stays on,” Izou says, smiling

“We should take her to Pops, see what he wants to do,” Ace comments, glancing at the cat girl, frowning when he notices the various scratches littering her skin

“We should also have Marco take a look at her.”

“Let me go, you giant troll!”

Currently, Dokucha had found herself once again under the hands of the pirates, held by the scruff of her shirt and under the scrutiny of the captain, who simply watched her with a laugh

“Well, aren’t you a squirmy one?” Whitebeard grins as the girl continues to struggle in his hands

“She does remind me of you, boy.”

“Not this again, Pops; I was not this bad, was I ?”

“You were, went at it hundreds of times before you came around,” Laughs Vista, looking at the Flame man

“Let me down!”She yells, continuing to struggle in the hands of the large pirate, now starting to kick her legs in the direction of the large pirate

“So what do we do with this one?” Ace asks

“Take her to Marco; it seems she’s in a rough shape,” he said, placing her down

“After she has been patched up, you can show her where she’ll be sleeping; you will have to take turns watching this one.”

“Will do Pops”

She takes advantage of the small handoff and makes a dash for one of the Junior Boats

“Woah there, slow down, Madam, you’re not going nowhere but the medic bay,” says Vista, quickly taking hold of the woman, making his way to the clinic with her

“Let me go, you damn brute!”

“Brute? I’ll have you know I'm far from a brute, Madam,” he retorts

“Don’t let her get to you, Vista; you know how the new ones are,” Izou pipes in, walking next to the swordsman

“I swear I will claw your heart out once I get off these!” Dokucha growls, pulling at the restraints that now held her to the examination table

“I apologize for the restraints, but I really need to take a look at you; you have wounds that need attention, and you are at risk of an infection if they are not taken care of-yoi, please understand” sighs Marco

“How did you get all of these wounds-yoi?” Marco asked curiously once she had stopped struggling

“I don’t need to answer that,” She hisses through gritted teeth, glaring at him, trying her hardest to keep her arms from pulling at the restraints

“You certainly don’t, and no one here will force you to; we just want to help you, is all; it’s the least you could do, seeing as you are a stowaway in our ship-yoi.”

She remains quiet for a few moments after that comment

“You don’t want to talk about it, right?” Marco asks, tilting his head to the side as he takes down notes about her condition

And the many scars she had

“That’s fine; you can speak when you feel more comfortable-yoi.”

“It’s none of your business,” she mumbles

“Alright, I won’t pry then-yoi,” he replies, taking down more notes before speaking again

“Do you feel anything weird lately? Like an uneasy sensation, headaches, fatigue, or anything similar-yoi?” he questions, glancing up when he receives no response

“Let’s do something. You seem to have calmed down, so answer me the question, and I‘ll get those restraints off-yoi.”

“I have been getting fatigued lately, lots of headaches,” she mutters

“See? Not so hard now, was it-yoi?” he said, taking notes of her comments, placing the clipboard down, and snapping off her restraints

She rubs at her wrists once they have been removed

“And the sea stone?”

“We’ll keep that on until we are sure you’re not a danger to anyone on board-yoi,” Marco replies, looking up at her

“Tell me more about those headaches-yoi. Are they the throbbing type? Do they come and go?”

“No, it’s pulsating and constant.”

“And the fatigue?”

“Constant, I always feel tired and end up dozing off.”

“Have you been eating?”

“I don’t have the liberty to eat as I please,” she growls

“Been struggling lately?”

“I have since my folks were killed.”

He glances up at her

“I ‘m sorry for your loss.”

“…I appreciate that.”

He smiles, ruffling her head

“There you go, you can relax her. None of us mean any harm-you”

Be pauses as he hears a rumbling sound, his smile growing into a wide grin

“Are you purring-yoi?”

She blushes, slapping his hand away

“No!”

This has potential for a part 2 doesn’t it 👀 okay so I feel like I always start it in the supply room so I decided to switch things up and started up in the kitchen this time, spice things up a bit 💅🏽

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

[forsaken-headcanons]

okay hear me out. i was looking at the milestone skins and i thought of this so i hope you people see my vision too

so i hc that c00lkidd is a drakobloxxer. and since those are probably very unusual/endangered/simply hard to find in Roblox, it would be really hard to properly raise one. I think 007n7 genuinely tried to raise the kidd and did manage to succeed to an extent, it’s just that drakobloxxers have different social behaviors and instincts than Robloxians do.

examples may include:

- maybe drakobloxxers are less social and don’t handle large gatherings of people well because it triggers a hunting/defensive response.

- since drakobloxxers are significantly larger than Robloxians, c00lkidd could have easily been as tall as 007n7 at age 10. Who knows if they age differently - if we take the T. Rex itself as an example, the oldest one we know of is barely pushing 30 and would have likely been near adult size by age 15.

- I hc that drakobloxxers are partially burrowing animals [explaining their massive claws] and that’s why c00lkidd loved to eat dirt - it’s natural for them to snack on that, especially as nutrient-hungry children.

>- i also hc another use of the claws is display, as drakobloxxers will spread their arms and flex their claws as a form of anger/showing off in a fight-or-flight situation, usually with another drakobloxxer.

- facial expressions might be different. A great example of this irl is how humans use smiling and eye contact as a form of friendliness/expected behaviors when interacting with someone, but gorillas [and many, many other primates] would rip you to shreds if you did either.

I might add onto this later because I have Many Thoughts on drakobloxxers [I’ve been hyperfixated on dinosaurs for like a decade now and this is the bridge between that and roblox] but yeah. I think c00lkidd’s fate was out of n7’s control to some extent. Both in Roblox and reality, you can’t force something to act ‘human’ or practice your beliefs suddenly when they were doing something else for centuries and have it magically work out.

and as a final thing, I want to circle back to the ‘Drakobloxxers are hard to come by’ thing. That could potentially be why he disappeared, if we wanna chuck some more angst in here.

alr bye *skedaddles away into my abode .i won’t return for another century*

gasp. drakobloxxer hcs?? oh heck yes these are so peak omg. skedaddling with you as we await more food /j

WAITT THE SMILING THING!! dude wait. what if, because he was raised by 007n7, c00lkidd does smile in the ordinary robloxian way– it's just that a drakobloxxian smile is already seen as threatening to robloxian standards, and thus not many survivors can tell that he really IS happy and completely naive. gods. imagine 7n7 being the only one to know this... these drakobloxxer hcs are so good!! get yoinked /silly

[ladymaigrey]

DD:BA S1 Ep 8

Finally! An episode that had it's arm around my neck and kept me in a chokehold until the final glorious whumpy moment!

(And did I miss seeing Matt gasping with his face scrunched up in pain? Oh yesssss I did. Raise your hand if you are with me!)

As poor and nonsensical as the parallels that bookended Ep 6 appeared to be, the switches between Fisk/Vanessa and Matt/Heather here were perfect. One couple coming together through honesty and confession, culminating in a beautiful, if somewhat murderous, act of harmonious decision-making: Fisk giving Vanessa a choice on what to do with Adam and Vanessa choosing the artistic route to show her loyalty to Fisk... aaah, just like renewing their vows again after marital strife.

And the other couple... has Matt in it. The man who chronically and catastrophically is unable to be honest to himself about DD, let alone to anyone else. And who really should've had very strong sense of deja vu because his conversation with Heather about the difference between Muse and DD was an exact duplicate of his conversation with Karen in S2 about the difference between Frank and DD. And, if doing the same thing again and again while expecting a different outcome is a cliche (if wrong) definition of insanity, then Matt... needs a therapist, stat. Just... not the one he is fucking.

Instead, what he does is to use the word "trauma" which obviously entered his lexicon through Heather's influence, to put her on the defensive before he skedaddled out the door to go make a mess at Murdock and McDuffy.

(And poor Kirsty. If only Foggy was there to tell her, that, nah, this is typical Matt Murdock behavior when half his life is bursting out of the other half while he keeps mum about it all. Drink some whiskey. It won't help but you'll be cushioned when it all goes spectacularly to shit.)

OK, moving on.

Oh Josie! The Madam purveyor of alcohol-steeped eels to homeboy lawyers. Ain't nothing getting past her sharp eyes! I love her appearance. Please let Josie's be reopened in the last episode, with Matt and Karen back in it after having received news that Foggy is alive after all!

And then the scene with Dex. The brutality, the sarcasm, the pure punitive violence that Matt took straight from the office and unloaded into Dex's nose. (And how desperate must have Dex been to turn to Matt as his get-out-of-jail ticket?!)

Ah, the ball! What a wonderful throwback to the wedding that Fisk and Vanessa never had. And the charity event which served Vanessa the poison champagne. This was supposed to be their reception, their coming out as the King and Queen of Crime. And Vanessa was not to be put in a trite wedding dress (let alone a mourning outfit) - off-the-shoulder provocation in red silk.

And Matt, straining to break all pretences of civility to confront Fisk, once again throwing psych words at Heather as a diversion. The man now appears to know enough of psychology lingo to create dangerous word salads to confuse people with. Not sure the underlying concepts themselves stuck though.

Oh speaking of nonsense psychology. Or in this case, speaking of the nonsense psychologist. Ahem. Excuse me but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS HEATHER DOING ACCEPTING A PARTY INVITATION FROM HER CURRENT CLIENTS?!? HAS SHE NOT READ THE APA CODE OF ETHICS?? This was *not necessary* for her to attend and had a strong potential to affect the relationship with her clients! Between that, her shoddy pop-psych take on vigilantes and masks, and her seriously questionable decision making in taking a fan as one of her clients (a decision that nearly got her killed), she should be stripped of her therapist license.

Back to Matt, who can dominantly dance his way in and out of danger, while catching whispers and rifle reload actions out of thin air. Because, yet again it seems, Fisks' enfant terrible arrived to wreck their family affair. Truly, they are a warning tale against adopting psychopathic acolytes. However this was grace for Matt saving him from doing something even more suicidal - like confronting Fisk in the open and causing an embarrassment for him and Vanessa, which would've had Fisk reaching for the nearest car door. Instead, Matt did the "good man" hero saving thing and ended up as a bloody and tasty mess on the floor.

How will that play out, I wonder, with Fisk now in his debt? Can Fisk even see reality sufficiently to recognise that? His perspective has certainly taken a turn around the delusion corner land, what with the "poor criminals being put out of business" sob story he was spinning an episode or two ago.

The entire ball scene held so many tension threads and you knew that things were going to go sideways, but there was a whole handful of options of exactly which flavour of shit storm was going to hit. This episode recalled for me some of the best of the Netflix narrative and character handling (as well as cinematography and the lighting). I believe that ep 8 and 9 are all Dario Scardapane's work, so we are now done with the half-rotted mess that the previous writers left, which had to be stitched together with fresh meat to create this disjointed season. And this leaves me feeling really good about season 2.

Can't wait. But want even more bloody Matt, please and thank you!

[spyroforlife]

SO.

Your thoughts on the latest episode of Helluva Boss? Do not spare the walls of text.

It was good but I feel like Andrealphus's plot was very contrived and it had so many ways it could have gone wrong and backfired on his ass, but instead it conveniently didn't so that we could get depowered Stolas and Stolitz hurt/comfort. Everything fell into place perfectly to get Stolas to admit his fault and thus Satan takes his power and Andrealphus and Stella win. Because that's just how they wanted to write it. Buut.. idk. I think this should have worked out differently.

Stolas is a genius and has been portrayed as someone who is very meticulous when it comes to deals and laws. I think it would have been far more interesting if he had showed up to the trial fully prepared to defend both himself and Blitz, with a solid case to present to the Sins. And being a Goetia, Stolas would have likely had a better chance at strong-arming them into actually listening to his testimony, versus Blitz who they of course just dismissed because he's an imp. But Stolas has power. He has pull. True, he had to move fast to even get there before the execution, which Andrealphus was surely relying on. Ultimately, Andrealphus is meant to be the 'mastermind' of this episode. But still, I think Stolas could have used his influence at that point to halt everything and force this to proceed in a more fair fashion.

Let him gather evidence and present a defense. And then he could have turned things BACK AROUND on Andrealphus, to prove to the court that he's trying to bring Stolas down just to get his power for himself, and reveal all Andrealphus's lying and bribing.

But you know. This isn't as exciting. So of course we got what we got.

An alternative idea though, to me, would just be... Stolas IS the owner of the grimoire. Anything he decides to do with it, in his ultimate wisdom, is just and acceptable. He should have just simply pulled rank and said sure, he allowed Blitz to use the book for his business, but this is his domain and if he authorized it, it goes. It's no one else's place to interfere in Stolas's use of the grimoire. That could have been an interesting angle. And at this point Blitz has been using the Asmodean crystal anyway, so hey, you wanna take this up with ASMODEUS?

And Asmodeus, being a Sin, will probably be granted even more leeway. He gave it to Blitz, for Blitz to use as he wished. End of story. And Blitz is no longer using the grimoire. What's the problem? There isn't one :) But how INTERESTING that Andrealphus brings this up now, huh? Almost like he's... trying to get something out of all this... HMM

Basically, turn Satan's wrath onto Andrealphus for being manipulative, and Blitz and crew can skedaddle, and Stolas is fine.

These are just more reasonable ideas about how it could have gone, and again, I acknowledge that that's not really the point. They wanted it to be dramatic, they wanted it to be angsty, and that's how they wrote it. Of COURSE Satan's an impatient little shit. Of COURSE Stolas barely gets there with time to spare and just immediately throws his reputation and life on the line for Blitz. Of COURSE Satan just decides fine by him and strips him of his power, so of COURSE we get Stolas going home with Blitz and things are domestic and sad uwu

Still. I just like to imagine how things could have gone differently, and Icedick coulda gotten his ass handed to him

ah well I'm just gonna hold out hope for Octavia figuring out Stolas is alive and rushing to be with him and immediately start helping him figure out how to appeal to Satan and turn this all around, also Vassago can help because I like him

on a less serious note, there were some pretty cute Stolitz moments that I enjoyed and I hope they talk more about their feelings now. Also Andrealphus and Stella's incest thing is fucking hilarious and it's been so funny to see people losing their minds over it, OH NO THE OWL ROYALS ARE DOING AN INCEST, THE SCANDAL

[voidcommascreamintothe]

On how people think Nesta is the abuser in early acotar

Okay, so..

1) the series was never supposed to be more that three books, therefore all secondary characters are bland and not developed that well, or at all.

2) Nesta’s and Elain’s primary- dare I say, only, narrative purpose in the first book was to get us, the audience on board with Feyre’s decision to stay in the Spring Court fairly early in the story. Ugly (step)sisters as narrative shorthand for “main girl’s life is awful so she needs to skedaddle very quickly”.

Now that we have that out of the way, Nesta in book one is so very different than the Nesta in the other books. I remember reading these books (the first time round) and getting whiplash at how different the characterization was for both sisters really.

I am aware that a lot of people are very passionate about their defense of Feyre, but I beg you, down on my knees with my hands clasped in a prayer, i beg you to realize that these were children and teenagers we are talking about. Children and teenagers that were never taught how to love. Nesta was never taught how to be nice, only how to seduce a rich husband, with perfectionism beaten into her. It very clearly states, in book four, that Nesta is all claws and sharp edges because she was forced to be that. And so when the time came to reign in that spitefulness, she realized it became a permanent feature of herself.

I do not think people realize just how difficult it is to learn how to show and accept love, even more so when you have to teach yourself in adulthood because you are trying to better yourself. Well I do.

This might count as insider trading: I am privy to this perspective because i have lived through something similar, but somewhere along the way, you do it because you need to forgive yourself and because it is the right thing to do; not to seek validation/forgiveness from others. Truly healing means accepting that you cannot change the past, and that you cannot make others accept your apology. But you apologize because it’s the right thing to do.

The beauty of Nesta’s book, is that you, dear audience member and beloved reader, do not have to forgive Nesta, she does not want it. The character you are defending already forgave her, so you become slightly less relevant in their story.

Tangentially related, but Feyre tried to reach out to Nesta multiple times in order to make amends, and only gave up when Rhys stepped in.. Foreshadowing is a narrative technique-

Insisting that a child can be abusive, insisting that CHILD Nesta was abusing Feyre is a dangerous line of thinking.

Child neglect and abuse is a heavy topic, and I don’t think I am educated enough to speak on it. All I will say is that assuming that every older child that grew up in a neglectful home in inherently abusive/neglectful themselves is an abhorrent thought to have. Being mean and outwardly cruel to people you love because you don’t know how to love them is not abuse, it is a cry for help.

In this scenario, we are talking about Nesta’s INACTION and lack of contribution. That is not abuse. It is of grave importance that people realize this. Nesta was groomed to be one thing and one thing only, a perfect wife. She was never taught how to love and care for her sisters, and had to learn this in adulthood, much like how Feyre had to do the same.

However Feyre was given grace, given support and understanding, given enough space to learn how to love freely and how to be loved.

The entire second book is about this. Do you people not read?

Nesta on the other hand, is ever only given this kind of treatment in book four, by Gwyn and Emerie: two characters that are removed from the Inner Circus and Rhysand. It is only when Rhysand suggests, and subsequently steamrolls over Feyre’s hesitations, that Nesta is removed from Feyre’s space, and Feyre herself stops reaching out. Only because Rhys mettles.

Like I stated above, foreshadowing is a narati-

Like many of you, Rhysand loves Feyre, and goes to extreme lengths to protect her and keep her safe. However, he is extremely biased against Nesta, pouring all of his anger at how mistreated Feyre was onto Nesta. Nesta bears the brunt of his terribly misguided attempt to protect Feyre, and Elain is left on the sidelines, just like she was when she tried to take accountability for her own failure during the Archeron’s poverty era. And yet, Rhysand ignores this.

Elain is viewed as the innocent child that is incapable of coherent thought. Elain is much softer in appearance therefore is considered to be almost incapable of carrying blame. Somehow, most likely because Nesta does not conform nor does she assimilate into Fae life the way Elain does, Elain is perceived to be the “good one”. Make no mistake, Rhysand keeps Elain around to use her against Nesta- the scrying incident in Silver Flames; he does not really respect her. Otherwise he would have held her just as responsible as Nesta. Instead, he and the others, treat Elain like a dimwit and Nesta as the pariah.

All of this, this being Rhysand being kind of a shitty dude, all of it would have been fine, were it not for the fact that Rhysie is consistently justified by the narrative. He is clearly the favourite character if the author and is always positioned to be the Moral Compass of the story, and therefore always positioned to be the one who is in the right. All of Rgysand’s moves and decisions are made out to be the decision, the only correct ones, the ones that the audience is supposed to have/share/approve of,

The fact that us girlies are having a tussle over a lot of the female characters simply because on how the narrative favors a male character, and how that male character keeps meddling in women’s affairs, is honestly some kind of profound irony.

The author’s inability to let go of her favoritism of said male character is boiling my piss and curdling my menstrual blood.

Bonsoir.

Ps.

Being mean and outwardly cruel to people you love because you don’t know how to love them is not abuse, it is a cry for help.

[writingwarden]

Cats cure all nightmares, trust me

Vessel centric

Tw- Body horror, nightmares, gore, blood, semi-graphic character death, cats, SCP-096

Word Count- 1.3k

Summary - A long day, brain fog, night terrors, and a cat named Carrot Top. What could go wrong?

[A/N]- Been antagonizing myself over this for months.

Vessel enters the cottage with his arms too full of grocery bags, it's late but he hates leaving during the day. Too many people and too dangerous for someone like him to go out on a whim.

The only noise is the sound of him walking over to the kitchen, depositing the bags on the kitchen island along with his black surgical mask.

The house is supposed to be empty, save for the cats that occasionally find their way in. He only keeps them around because they're good for keeping pests away, (he's also grown fond of the little beasts but will never admit it out loud.) Their antics are a welcomed distraction from the stress of work.

Turning his head to look out the window at the backyard, the tall and foreboding trees block out the sun. Dark and heavy storm clouds gather overhead, petrichor lingering in the air.

Tonight will be good for writing in front of the fireplace.

It's not like he's going to sleep anyways; there are too many ideas bouncing around his skull that he fears he'll go mad if they're not put down on paper soon. Words and snippets and measures, melodies that can’t be replicated no matter how hard he tries-

He shakes his head and sighs, moving on autopilot as he puts the groceries. Without the other three men at home things are pretty awful, if Vessel could say so himself. But they’re all out for the weekend. They wanted him to go along yet he stayed for some Sleep forsaken reason.

Maybe it’s the heavy feeling in his heart? Maybe it’s the lack of tangible inspiration or a lack of response from the deity he serves and loves…even though it hurts him.

A loud noise startles him out of his reverie, making him whip around on his heels with his arms halfway up in a defensive stance.

The culprit stands on one of the bar stools, yellowish eyes wide and furry orange head tilted to the side, Vessel’s phone now on the floor.

Huffing at the little beast, “You better pray that it's not broken,” a pause as he searches his brain for the name that IV bestowed upon this menace, “Carrot Top? You don’t even know who that is, do you?”

Thankfully the device is fine when he crouches to retrieve it. A tiny paw swats at his head when he stands back up, “Hey!”

Carrot clearly thinks that this is the pinnacle of comedy for a feline as he does it again before jumping down and skedaddling across the kitchen.

Vessel just stands there, bewildered and questioning why he even lets these creatures roam the property.

Oh right, III and IV stared at him with their big ol’ blue eyes and he’s too much of a sucker to say no when they gang up on him. II hadn’t even stepped in during their campaign to adopt the strays, because the drummer has accepted that the two string players will always find a way to get what they want. They’re relentless in their endeavors, both sharing one collective brain cell and using it for evil.

Whatever, he needs to change out of these jeans and into pajamas. Surely III wouldn’t mind if he snagged one of the bassist’s faded band tees?

The nightly routine feels like it takes an eternity today, sluggish as he showers and brushes his teeth. His thoughts stuck on a chord that he’s been antagonizing himself over since he woke up.

Some blues style chord, should it go D7 A G DG or D7 DG A7? 4/4 or 7/8, those are so wildly different.

Running a hand down his face and throwing himself into the rocking recliner with his notebook and pen after starting the fireplace. Almost out of ink, should find another soon.

…

Vessel's eyes fly open with a loud gasp, finding himself standing in the middle of a busy roadway. Car horns blare around, the vehicles swerving and people yelling at him to get out of the road. The sweltering hot summer sun beating down on his face is nothing like the chilly autumn air he fell asleep in.

It was as if his surroundings had shifted in the blink of an eye.

As the singer tries to get his bearings, something catches his attention. Looking up to notice a strange figure on the side of the highway. It is tall, gaunt, and its body contorts in unnatural ways as it stumbles through the traffic.

While the creature steps off the curb and steps closer to the road, Vessel scrambles back.

The nightmare’s limbs shift into strange positions, the skin rotting and decayed, grey from who knows how long spent in a grave. It opens its mouth to release a high pitched shriek, and a tongue that is far too long for the creature's mouth rolls out. Black bile falling in strings onto the ground beneath it.

Blood and viscera splatter the road.

The drivers in the vehicles blare their horns for a different reason now, some braking while others speed up in an attempt to hit the abomination. Every time it’s thrown from a car impacting it, it crawls back to its feet and screams, chasing after cars.

Vessel watches in frozen horror as it breaks the glass on car windows and rips people from their seats, ripping their limbs from their bodies. Nobody is spared, men and women, old and young, all caught in the carnage.

Its head snaps in Vessel direction as he trembles in fear, forcing him to meet its sunken and milky white eyes.

The creature lunges across the freeway, the only emotion in its eyes is pure malicious intent. Hatred thought to be impossible as its face contorts into a grotesque visage of Vessel’s own.

He shouts, not noticing the distracted driver racing right towards him until it's too late, the impact sending his body a good few meters in the air.

Everything is in slow motion, the thing's claws reaching for him, his body colliding with the rough blacktop, his neck snapping, the feeling of his stomach cavity being torn open.

Sitting up with a terrorized scream, Vessel's chest is heaving like he just ran forty klicks at full tilt.

When did he fall asleep?

The fire is burning low and his notebook has fallen off his lap.

He doesn’t even get a chance to calm his beating heart when something jumps on him, causing him to scream. Definitely not like a little girl and totally like the grown man he is.

This in turn causes the orange menace to puff up like a halloween decoration and hiss.

Swearing violently and letting go of his shirt which he had clutched like pearls. His first reaction is to be angry and order the beast away, but Vessel is too focused on the night terror he just experienced.

Carrot Top eyes the singer suspiciously before climbing further into his lap and plopping down like he owns the space. Purring like nothing is wrong and like Vessel didn’t just almost throw the cat across the room in sleep-addled fear.

With a heaving chest, Vessel slumps into the chair in complete and utter exhaustion, gripping at his hair while trying to focus on literally anything else but the dream. The pouring rain outside, the crackling and popping flames, the small weight on his thighs.

“You have the worst timing.” He mutters before slowly petting the cat and sighing. At least the furball is warm compared to the chill around him. “I bet you never have nightmares, hm? Bet it’s just mischief and chasing mice inside that tiny skull. Lucky little bastard.”

Resting his head back against the chair when there is an indignant meep from his lap.

“Oh my bad, did I stop petting you for half a millisecond? My sincerest apologies, m’lord.” A fond sarcasm lacing his words as he resumes running his hand over the orange fur, okay maybe the cats can stay.

[lifesver]

@t4mpered said: it's teetering closer to four in the morning than it is three anymore. and danny's spent the majority of the night teetering on leland's perceptive truth of him. he can feel the warmth of the bleachers through his jeans. the sun. the music. leland's face. his expression. scared of being hurt. i get it, he'd said. scared of being hurt. he gets it. it doesn't matter, but it does. danny's painfully sober and despite the innate desire to chase the discomfort with whatever he can get his hands on, he doesn't. funny how he still ends up outside leland's dorm without recollection of how he got there. what end game does he have in mind? why does it fucking matter so much? three knocks and he's brushing past sonny with a muttered hey, williams. of everything he wants to say and throw at a bleary-eyed leland mckinney, all that he manages when their eyes finally meet is a clipped "... did you drool on yourself?"

leland hears the knock-knock from somewhere in his half-asleep stupor. but he could not have expected the omen it would bring with it.

leland groans, and buries his face in his pillow as he hears sonny get up. as always, the first to act. shuffling across the carpet to open their dorm room door. leland manages a disgruntled and unhelpful "huh". which sonny answers by poking his head back around the corner, and staring at leland like it's his fault. frowning back at him, he finally rolls himself out of bed, brushing by sonny, mumbling a complaint.

leland stops, raises his eyes slowly. oh, he understands why it's his fault, now.

❝ ... ugh. hi. ❞ it's the first thing that comes to his groggy mind. but it seems like a fair exchange. ❝ jesus. what time is it. ❞ he palms the sleep out of his eye, and pauses. drool? what? leland glances down at his shirt in delay, and frowns. okay. there were a few wet spots. whatever — everyone does that, right? leland squints back up at danny. eyebrows drop down in confusion, then punch up, mildly offended; ❝ … seriously? you're making house calls to insult me, now? ❞

no. that’s not it.

upon a second look, leland takes note of danny’s face. the tense lines drawn out in his features — had he slept at all? he looks... rough. for a moment, leland can’t puzzle it together. was this about earlier? what he said? no way, right? danny could probably find twenty reasons to hate him — but... leland had never seen danny react the way he did, today. as if something leland said had finally cut through that thick skin. and it was empathy. it was straight-forward. he told danny exactly what he saw. he doesn't really know why. and maybe he should have kept his mouth shut.

a sigh, heavy exhale, as he shoots a look over his shoulder. ❝ sonny’s trying to sleep, so... ❞ — and so was he. but fuck him, he guesses. leland makes a half-hearted ‘lets skedaddle’ type motion at danny as he shoulders on his letterman. kicks on his running shoes. and trudges through the door. down the hall and outside. and he has to ask himself the question; was he really about to let this guy lay into him again?

once they're outside, leland takes in the cool night air. slides hands into jacket pockets and shifts on his heels. when danny doesn’t immediately start, he sends an unsure look sidelong at him.

❝ so… what’s this about, man? ❞ a beat, hesitation. he feels like he needs to cover the quiet. ❝ hey, if it's about what i said before — ❞ his inclination is toward defensiveness, really. but he forcibly reorients himself. reminds himself; it's good to know when to apologize. it's good to know when to apologize —

leland ducks his head, pretends to find something of interest in the grass below. ❝ — look, um. i probably�� overstepped, okay? i’m sorry. ❞

[toastythetoasterrr]

Today's victim is...

Sydney Askrill!

Love 'em, hate 'em, nobody can deny the good they've done for the wasteland. They're an incredibly good person, to the point where one of their nicknames is "The Angel of the Wastes." However, they're incredibly snappy, defensive, and angry. Even though they're like this and seem like they sincerely hate people, they help almost everyone in need of help that they meet.

Swag.

They grew up in homey homey Vault 101. They didn't really like anyone there either. Their dad, his assistant Jonah, and their friend Amata were basically the only exceptions. They REALLY didn't like this one kid, Butch. The two of them had to be dragged away from each other multiple times.

Oh damn. 19th birthday, Amata woke them up in a panic and gave them a pistol because their dad left and Jonah got dead. Sydney managed to wiggle out of the Vault, and hooh boy.

Time to find dear old dad.

First stop: Megaton. He had JUST left. Sydney learns they were born outside the Vault. And then accidentally gets the mayor sheriff killed. They then skedaddle.

Second Stop: Galaxy News Radio. They kill a Super Mutant Behemoth with the Brotherhood of Steel! The radio host, Three Dog, asks them to fix a tower before he'll tell them where their dad went. They do so, find out he just left for Rivet City.

So they go to Rivet City! He's not there either. He had just left. Again. To a random mechanic shop in the middle of nowhere? They get there, and oh no! He's trapped in a...

SIMULATION!!!

They end up taking everybody but themself, their dad, and the Overseer out to get their dad out. It was either that or everybody continued suffering for who knows how long! They don't like it either.

Anyways, Woohoo! They have their dad back! And they get to work with him to get the people clean water?! Dream come true!

Until he sacrificed himself in front of Sydney so the Enclave wouldn't get Project Purity. Damnit. And the Enclave guy in charge lived, too.

So Sydney was convinced he murdered their dad.

Anyways, they escort the other scientists to the Brotherhood's HQ, being sent to get something called a G.E.C.K. They get beef with a child and a Super Mutant friend during that! And then they get kidnapped. By the Enclave.

Raven Rock fucking sucked. Sydney has more issues from it than they were dragged in with. But they got the G.E.C.K, bullied the Enclave's president into shutting down (he was a robot) and escaped with severe claustrophobia and the G.E.C.K! Yahoo!

They went back to Project Purity and did a dumb thing right after killing Colonel Autumn, their dad's murderer. They went into the rad-filled chamber to activate the whole thing. With Fawkes next to them. You know, the guy immune to radiation.

Boom! Awake again! They were out for 2 whole weeks?! No matter. They take out the Enclave. Easy Peasy.

They get a sword and pure white Power Armor! From a pre-war military training simulation! For some reason, the Brotherhood Outcasts tried to kill them.. But they skedaddled.

They got abducted by aliens. And then hijacked their ship?! And got a bunch of cool guns.. and a medic friend.. Cool!

The Pitt. They kidnapped a baby to save dozens of people. The baby is in good health, by the way!

And Point Lookout. They had a dream they got bullied by a Vault Boy bobblehead while trying to follow their dad through a swamp. All because they ate a fruit to infiltrate a group to help a ghoul kill a brain in a jar.

After that, they decided to swear off boats for good.

Never touching a boat again. It was misery.

[fatebinds]

"it's max," he insists, even all but staring down a barrel. he can take murder, but he draws the line at disrespect. it's unfortunate, then, that the latter is much easier to do than the former. "and i'm not—" he exhales sharply, amused. "—i'm not hitting on you." this isn't a love letter, some flight of fancy brought on by a schoolboy crush. there are better things to point his admiration toward. but curiosity is a black hole eating away at him, and while he keeps the information out of even his own conscious eye, so is a desire for understanding. ira seems determined to refuse him that—deliberately so, as far as he can tell. deliberately, but not in the wrong direction. max isn't here for a seduction, but he can hardly help himself. he's always been drawn to the macabre to a pathological degree and this situation is only more proof of tendency toward the bizarre. he does get a kick out of the conclusions he's drawn, as surely as he does out of ira's guarded—in his opinion—confirmation of them. but before he can jump to his own defense, ira's hand is between his leg. oh. he's found the third thing that will send him skedaddling... embarrassment. it's not that he's hard that has him balking—that's hardly a surprise. even plain adrenaline can do that—but now that he's been groped like that ira can tell he's not... well-endowed. that's a little more personal than he's wanted to get. "whatever, man." it's easy to contain himself, but he feels like he's been struck by lightning. how horrible. how exhilarating. "i'm telling you. i know something's up."

"Are you hitting on me Maddox?" Stepping on his flowers, intruding his house and calling him wicked ? He might as well have slipped a hand down his pants at this point.

You could wonder why it is that Ira's not reached for his phone yet, why he hasn't more forcefully asked the other to leave. Home intruders were not treated like a farce around here, especially not given the current mood of the city of Antioch. They still had no clue on that vampire and who better than a so called Satan enthusiast to make a prime suspect.

Truth is, Ira likes the attention. He craves it, he thrives in it. He aspires for greatness. When the vampire gets caught, you bet your ass he'll fight to be their defense. He's arrogant, but he's also efficient. Deadly, eager for the kill.

Now what is Maddox eager for? Not the truth. How can he know it's the truth. In fact... "It doesn't matter what I say. You already have convinced yourself that I'm a flesh eating monster and you won't accept anything different as the truth." Rightfully so. "You get a kick from being around someone like me," a touch of mystical. What is closer to pagan rites than a man who ate his own friends to survive ? They weren't his friend, mind you. Kali was the only one who had mattered to him back then. Bonds had been made through the months, and alliances became a lifelong connection linked in blood. "This is about you, getting a kick of adrenaline," he accused. While he spoke, he has approached Maddox. He's standing right in front of him now, staring down at him with defiance clear in his eye as he reaches down and palms at the man's crotch long enough to confirm his theory. "Get the fuck out of my house."

[the-orange-in-red-silk]

i need stede and ed at that privateer academy thing without the kiss happening and without ‘you are dead’ moment that kicked off a massive avalance of guilt inside stede.

i dunno how that institute works but it had this vibe of being a mixture of prison and school. they spend every day together, keep to themselves because all pirates there know ed is blackbeard and are too scared to engage. it involves a moment of ed saying they stay clear of him "cause they know who i am." and stede, with a smile, being his supportive loving self, goes "well I know who you are. that's why i'm staying by your side" and ed's like 🥺😍

and ed is also suuuuuuuuuper pining!!!!! like hardcore pining for stede but wont push things! he's just happy to share his life with him, even if it's just them being best friends. he folds stede's clothes and at night, he just stares at the bed above him, yearning for stede.

and i also need a moment where like 4 or 5 pirates corner stede. and ed shows up and saves him with his presence alone. there's no leather nor beard anymore but the intense aura of dominance and danger is still there and an intense death stare which he uses to make them back away from stede. maybe he even takes down one of them and the others skedaddle and stede later asks ed to teach him some self defense moves because ed cant always be there to save him, followed by a trip down memory lane of all the countless times of ed saving his ass and stede's like he will never be able to pay ed back for everything.

self defense training comes with close body contact of course which really messes with ed. and in turn stede teaches ed how to read

someone please write a blackbonnet fanfic of them at that academy, ed being aware of his feelings for stede but not acting on them because he just wants to be with him and stede maybe slowly realising what it is that he’s feeling for ed

[therealvalkyrie]

Basil Part 1

Pairing/setting: Pro-hero!Bakugou Katsuki x Female!Reader

Summary: After bringing home Bakugou from a bar, you invite him to stay for breakfast.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: swearing, kissing, mentions of sex, soft bakugou, aged up characters

AN: I’m sending it lmao. Figured I’d just drop this and go to sleeb, then maybe I’ll find the motivation to finish the second part tomorrow. We shall see!! Don’t forget to come tell me what you think:) Be kind to yourself and others!! ~valkyrie

Something different wakes you this morning. The familiar presence of your cat, Tonic, curled next to your head on the pillow isn’t it, and it’s not your alarm. You crack open a heavy eye and close your dry mouth. Judging by the pale cloudless sky visible through the window, it’s not time for you to get up yet. Was it a noise? A neighbor? A dream? You try to think back on what you’d been dreaming about in your sleep, but the visuals get hazier by the second as you blink lazily. The urge to stretch and your body washes over you quietly, achingly, and you start to roll onto your right side, away from the cat, only to be prevented by a body across your waist. Alarm jolts through you as you glance down. A head of disheveled blonde hair nuzzled into your side greets your gaze. Then, as your eyes slide down the very naked body attached to the hair, you remember.

Oh. Right.

It’s the man from the bar. The one with striking eyes and an attitude problem who nevertheless charmed his way into your pants with drinks and well-timed wit. It’s the man who tucked you under his arm as you giggled your way out of the bar, made out with you in the back of the taxi, and fucked you until you couldn’t think straight. Bakugou Katsuki.

The memory brings a lethargic smile to your dry lips and a warmth to the rest of your body as you experimentally ghost your fingers down his naked back. He looks tranquil here, torso rising and falling easily in sleep, arm thrown over your stomach, and head using your underboob as a pillow. Your sheets are bunched around your tangled legs but you still feel comfortably warm from his body heat. He’s practically like a furnace, skin hot and slightly sweaty on yours.

Eventually, after staring at him through soft eyes for what should be an embarrassingly long time (but really, you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, not when he’d devoured your body with his eyes the night before), you stretch your arms as much as you can without disturbing him and reach for your phone on the bedside table. The screen lights up as you tug out the charging cord, displaying the time (6:13) and a flurry of notifications from your girls’ night group chat. Scrolling lazily through without bothering to open the app, you read the conversation in reverse while tracing gentle circles on Bakugou’s toned back:

carolina, 6:00: ferny have u been murdered in the night

carolina, 5:59: i am alive…………………….barely

Then, it’s arguments and teasing about another friend, Ichika, leaving with a “short ass man,” in Carolina’s words, and then confirmations of everyone arriving safely home. So you weren’t the only one who left with someone last night? It makes you feel better about abandoning your friends. It wasn’t that they couldn’t take care of themselves, more that nights out with your girls were few and far between, given your hectic schedules. You know they wouldn’t hold it against you, but you were looking forward to spending time with them. Scroll, scroll, scroll.

carolina, 00:46: we want details in the morn😈

Mei, 00:45: in that case, take your time sweaty😘

Mei, 00:44: WHAT THE FUCK????

ichika, 00:44: Ground Zero??

Of course they’d discuss this, thirsty whores, you think, grinning. You knew who he was the second he leaned up against the bar next to you with a cocky smile and a pick-up line; it’s not like you’re completely oblivious, unlike Mei, even if you don’t generally keep up with the latest pro-hero gossip. And he didn’t let you forget it, either. Fresh heat rises up your neck as echoes of last night ring in your mind.

“Say it, baby, who’s fuckin’ you so good?”

“Y-you are!”

“And who am I?”

“Ground Ze-ero!”

The ghostly feeling of his fingers digging into your hips makes your thighs twitch together.

ichika, 00:44: omg no way

Mei, 00:44: who?

carolina, 00:44: of course i saw, that was motherfucking bakugou katsuki!!!!!!

Mei, 00:43: y’all see that smokeshow she left with? we won’t be hearin shit until tmrw

carolina, 00:41: or don’t;) we know you’re occupied

ichika, 00:41: lmk when you get home safe, love!!

When you’re finally caught up, you open your phone and type out a clumsy response with one thumb.

Ferny, 6:18: was not murdered, promise i will give deets later

Ferny, 6:18: he’s still here uwu

A low, sleepy grunt pulls your gaze from your phone screen and onto Bakugou. He’s finally stirring, nose pressing into the pudge of your stomach and body twisting further into the sheets.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” you murmur, locking your phone and tossing it back onto the nightstand.

His head jerks up and he looks momentarily caught off-balance, guarded, before he turns to look at your face and his expression softens.

“Mornin, beautiful,” he mumbles in a gravelly morning voice, pushing up the bed to press his lips to yours. Your cat mewls at the inconvenient shift in the pillow and brushes down your body to settle by your feet instead. Indulging for a moment in the soft glow of kissing him, your arms loop around his neck and his warm hand ghosts over your cheek, down your neck, across your clavicle. You let out a singular satisfied moan at the feeling of his bare chest against yours, then gently pull away.

“I have morning breath,” you complain with a pout. He only smirks devilishly.

“You taste alright to me,” he quips before sneaking another, faster kiss to your lips.

You squeal and push him back playfully with an indignant, “Bakugou!”

“Alright, alright,” he concedes defeat, flopping on his back next to you.

Finally, without his body practically pinning you to the mattress, you’re able to sit up and stretch satisfyingly. Your back gives a series of gratifying pops as you yawn and twist, and Bakugou makes an alarmed sound behind you.

“Jesus, you sound like fuckin bubblewrap! Is your back okay?”

“Oh, it’s fine! Always happens when I sleep funny.”

“I dunno, you should maybe get that checked out.”

“After coffee,” you agree noncommittally, then lean down to scoop Tonic from where he’d retreated on the end of the bed and extricate your legs from the tangle of sheets and blankets. “I just have to feed this little guy, and then I was thinking… breakfast? There’s a great bakery across the street.” You’re suddenly shy, voice breathier with the suggestion. 

The protocol you usually employ for one night stands is simple: if you’re at their apartment, make your excuses and skedaddle before anything more intimate like food can happen; if they’re at yours, make your excuses and kick them out before they start doing weird shit to your kitchen. But Bakugou feels different. There isn’t an ounce of regret or shame or embarrassment when you think back on the previous night, and the morning already feels intimate, with its lazy kisses and easy banter. You wouldn’t mind spending more time with him, but you can’t tell if he feels the same. Or if he’s waiting for an excuse to leave and get back to his life.

“Let me make you breakfast,” comes the unexpected reply, and you twist to look at him, eyebrows arched in surprise at both the acceptance of your invitation and his willingness to cook for you. He must mistake it for doubt, though, because he looks suddenly defensive, brow creasing in a frown. “Hey, I can cook, get that dumb look off your face!”

“No, no, that’s not it,” you placate, leaning back and into his side while cradling Tonic to your chest. “I’d love for you to make me breakfast.” You press a kiss to his shoulder as he loops his arm around yours and grumbles something too quiet to hear. “It’s just,” you mumble into his skin, “I don’t have much in the way of a stocked pantry.”

“What do you mean?” You glance up to meet his perplexed gaze.

“I mean, my roommate travels a lot for work and he’s more of a cook than I am,” you explain, not missing the way Bakugou tenses when you mention your male roommate. But he doesn’t say anything, just blinks down at your cat who’s spilled from your arms and across his chest like an uncontainable liquid. “Sorry” —you wince, trying and failing to scoop him back towards you— “he’s very affectionate.”

“S’okay,” he mutters, blinking twice more before focusing back on you. “Let’s at least see what you’ve got, I could probably whip something up.”

You shrug. “Well, okay. Might be a challenge.” At this, he chuckles darkly and narrows his eyes.

“I love a challenge.”

You giggle and push up to sitting again, legs dangling over the edge of the bed and Tonic cradled to your chest. “Alright, Gordon Ramsey, let’s take a look.”

Sauntering over to your closet, you can feel Bakugou’s gaze on you until he stands up as well and starts casting around for his clothes from the previous night.

“Oh,” you start as you reach for a hoodie from the top shelf, dragging his eyes back to you. “If you want some clean clothes, my ex left some stuff that’d fit you.”

He makes a choked sound behind you, then clears his throat. “Uhm, no. Thank you.” It’s strained, and he doesn’t say how he’d rather get food poisoning than wear the clothes of another man who fucked you. The thought makes his skin feel tight and sends an unfamiliar rush of jealousy through him.

You only shrug. “Suit yourself.”

You dress in comfortable silence, trying not to steal glances at his incredible abs while you do it. 

In the hallway, you point at a door, holding Tonic in your arms. “Bathroom’s through there, I think I should have a new toothbrush in the cupboard if you want. The kitchen’s this way, once you’re done.”

He grunts thanks and ducks through the door, flicking on the light switch as he goes.

It puts you slightly off-balance to be aware of someone else in your apartment as you feed Tonic and open up your living room curtains to let the morning sun stream in. You stand there for a moment, looking out over the city and willing your nerves to settle. You like Bakugou, you want him to stay. So just don’t fuck it up.

You hear the bathroom door close and take a deep breath.

In the kitchen, Bakugou stares at your empty cupboards and fridge for a long moment while you stand beside him, awkwardly rubbing your neck.

“What do you eat?” he barks in disbelief, turning to look at you like you’ve got two heads.

“Sunlight and water.”

“What?!”

“It’s my quirk! I, um, photosynthesize.” You cross the kitchen to one of your many plants, a large fern that spreads across half the wall. “Here,” you motion Bakugou over, kneeling down to touch the dirt in its planter. “Watch.”

Bakugou crouches next to you, a confused scowl still etched on his face, but nevertheless looks to where your fingers gently dig into the potting soil.

As you close your eyes and concentrate, pushing will out of your fingers, you feel the fern’s whole network of roots, stalks, and leaves, pulsing with the energy of life. Concentrating, you encourage it to flow towards you, splitting the dirt with a sprout. You allow a smile of satisfaction to split across your face when you hear Bakugou’s gasp of surprise when the sprout bursts into the air and unfurls.

You open your eyes to find his lips slightly parted in awe and his eyebrows raised where they’re normally pinched.

“I photosynthesize and make plants grow.” You lean forward to lightly stroke the little fern’s softly curling leaves. “I can still eat real food, though. It’s just cheaper to get some sun.”

Bakugou leans forward as well, one hand reaching hesitantly toward the fern.

“You did that?” He looks at you in awe.

You nod, smiling lightly. His eyes seem to search yours for a moment, then an air of contemplation crosses his face and he takes a breath.

“Can you do basil?”

[mommymooze]

Flowers in Your Hair

Dimitri x reader

Coming from a coastal city of Faerghus, you are a very successful blacksmiths eldest daughter. Your parents finally give in to your nonstop requests to go to the academy. As shy as you are, they cannot believe you want to leave home and go out on your own. Somehow you feel the dream is worth it.

Classes begin and you are in the Blue Lions House being from their territory. Everyone seems to know each other, and they are all loud and boisterous. Annette and Mercedes take you under their wing and help you get settled in the new environment. Professor Byleth instructs everyone in class about the basics of combat, fighting and defense. She decides that you may have a talent in brawling, archery, and faith magic. You are certainly not very tall, most of the guys in this class tower over you, however you do have muscles.

You are terribly shy at first until you become more acquainted with the team. You tolerate Sylvain’s flirting, turning him down in the nicest way every single time. You actually make friends with Dedue working with him in the gardens. You help Annette learning faith magic by letting her work on your bruises from sparring and you also move barrels to safer locations all around the monastery so there is less for her to trip over. Baking with Mercedes is pure joy and everyone gets excited when they see the two of you headed for the kitchens. Ashe is your archery buddy and you tell each other stories while practicing. You’ve had many late night chats with Ingrid when she is frustrated about her goals of becoming a knight, encouraging her and telling her she is on the right path.

Your favorite person is Dimitri. He is a giant in your eyes. He is strong and polite and caring. Leading the Lions into battle with Dedue on one side and you on the other, the three friends are a force to be reckoned with. Even though he is the crown prince, he never acts like he is above anyone. You’ve never met a noble quite like him.

Sometimes the two of you will talk in the greenhouse while you work on the flowers and vegetables.

“Bend down a second Dimitri.” You ask him with a smile.

The tall man bends and watches as you place a blue flower just over his right ear.

You then hand him another flower, asking him to place yours for you. He blushes and as gently as he can, takes the stem of the flower to stick it over your right ear as well.

“Now we match.” You grin. “I wonder who thought of decorating people with flowers. I am glad they didn’t decide to do it with vegetables. I don’t think you’d be as cute if you had a green bean over your ear.”

Dimitri laughs. “I think you would still be cute, even if it was a carrot or a pea pod.”

“Next Garland Moon I will make you a crown of cherry tomatoes.” You snicker.

“Are you hungry? It is close to dinner and you’re talking a lot about food.” He asks.

“I’m finished here, so let’s head to the dining hall.” You reach out to grab his hand as he helps you from the ground.

You dust the dirt from your knees and head toward the door. Dimitri’s long legs carry him to the door just quickly enough that he can open it for you to pass through. Walking side by side to the dining hall your shoulder brushes with his arm and it makes him blush.

The dining hall is fairly full, but there is space at the Blue Lions table for both of you. Normally you sit on opposite sides so you can see Dimitri’s reactions to the conversations going on, today you have to sit next to him. Mercedes asks a question, and you turn to face her, your knee lightly touching his thigh and Dimitri drops his fork on his plate.

“We have flowers because we’re part of the cute club today! Want to join? I’ll go get everyone a flower.” You happily offer.

Mercedes laughs softly, “Oh, I don’t think any of us could compare to your cuteness right now.” Annette giggles in affirmation.

“You would all be adorable with flowers!” You declare loudly.

Sylvain grins, “I for one would love to see all of our lovely ladies wearing flowers.” Felix grunts in disapproval of everything Sylvain has to say as he stabs the meat on his plate.

Ashe perks up, “I remember a story I read once about how fair maidens would bestow flowers upon their braves knights before battles…” and continues to tell the story during the meal.

Everyone leaves to go their separate ways, Dimitri heads out to the lance workshop the Professor is teaching. You decide to go to the greenhouse to gather and distribute flowers to everyone in the Blue Lions. Sylvain is more than happy to let you place a flower on him and offers a kiss in return which you quickly decline. When you ask Dedue he kindly bows low so that you may gently place the flower over his ear. Annette, Mercedes and even Ingrid happily wear their flowers. You find Ashe in the library looking for the book he was talking about over dinner and he blushes as you place his flower for him. The only one left is Felix.

You head to the Knight’s Hall, however that is where Byleth is holding class. He’s not there, so you skedaddle to the training grounds. Felix is beating up on one of the knights. You ask him if he will let you place his flower. He refuses, of courswe.

“Spar with me. I win, you wear the flower.” You tease.

“Fine.” He grunts, raising his sword.

“Nope! Hand to hand!” You take your brawlers stance, knowing that he won’t refuse.

Felix tosses the sword and immediately runs at you, you bend low at the last moment grabbing his legs and throwing him over your shoulder. You wrestle with him for 30 minutes. His arms are tired and he’s sweating, but finally decides that you are indeed the winner. (You beat him the first time, so he said 2 out of 3, but when you won 3 of 3 he knew he lost.) You do a little victory shuffle and then place the flower behind his ear.

Heading to the Knights Hall the class is being dismissed. Dimitri is walking out with Dedue. You overly exaggerate a shocked look at Dimitri.

“What? Is something wrong?” Dimitri is looking left and right around him, having no idea what is going on.

“Your flower is gone! Dedue still has his!” You point out, and sure enough, his best friend is still proudly displaying his blossom.

“My apologies, I was so focused on training, I did not notice that it must have fallen.” Dimitri bows, begging your forgiveness. Dedue takes this as an opportune time to head toward his room, providing a bit of privacy to the both of you.

“You are so lucky that I have one bloom left.” You smile as your fingers beckon him to come closer and bend so you can reach. Carefully you brush some stray hairs behind his ear, then tuck the new flower behind his ear. You place a kiss next to the flower. “There, cute as a button.”

Dimitri blushes profusely as he is left speechless.

“I’m going to take a walk around for a bit. You know, enjoy the night air before the chill sets in. Want to come along?” You look at him hopefully.

“Um…Yes! Certainly! By all means!” His brain finally kicks back in and he offers an elbow. Taking his arm, you thread your hand through the crook and walk with him talking about things studied in class and other random things. You find yourselves on the bridge to the Cathedral just as the sun is setting.

“Wow. Those colors are amazing. I don’t think Ignatz could paint that many different shades of red, orange and yellow.” You sigh.

You both marvel at the colors as the sun slowly sinks into the horizon. The sun took its warmth when it left, and the chill of the night air begins to settle in. Dimitri walks you back to your room. You both hesitate at the threshold. You suddenly turn and throw your arms around him giving him a huge hug.

“That was pretty romantic for a first date!” You laugh as you quickly head in your room and close the door.

Dimitri stands and stares at the door for a moment, then turns towards his room, chuckling to himself.

[fexrtherexper]

"Oh, you're a chaos god, huh? You should probably Skedaddle then before the defense systems turn on. We already take enough insanity from Eris and Discord. two chaos gods are enough~"

The way she said that made it rather difficult to know whether she was bluffing or not. How can someone so cute even be remotely threatening?

A bit later, after Robin left another...jackal? wolf appears. "Robin! Robin!?" He looks around turning over a couch. -Seth

So much for taking a nap... The sleepy wyvern huffed as she spoke, "ugh, who's there?"

This was a rude awakening she never would have seen coming.

[dangermousie]

Things I am loving so far:

1. Heroine likes to occasionally wander into an empty dungeon and rest since it’s the little bit of solitude and privacy she gets.

2.She is so fed up by being controlled and having no free will, she has gotten to thinking as long as she could get a few antidote pills, she’d leave because even a few months of freedom before she dies, would be worth it. She doesn’t want to tame demons and be at beck and call of valley master, she just wants to see the world. I honestly like that she’s a prisoner almost as much as all the demons are.

3. Man, she is def there for demon dick:

Ji Yunhe slowly stepped in. His head was hanging down and his waist length silver hair shielded half of his face. But even so, Ji Yunhe could not help but find this demon too beautiful. Excessively beautiful.

Heh.

Also, she is not fond of all the torture, especially because she (a) doesn’t think demons are just for enslavement and (b) she is a prisoner herself. So she fixes his tail. I love.

Ji Yunhe walked up to the cell and looked through the thick bars full of talismans. The jiaoren hung by his hands and his body was covered with wounds. Large iron hooks pierced through his clavicle, and the chains wrapped around his blue and white tail confined him from all movements. His blood dripped down, soaking the chains, and his face looked as pale as paper under the moonlight. Even though Ji Yunhe had been in the valley for many years and witnessed many gruesome scenes, she still could not help but feel chills right now. Along with the chills, she also felt a bit lost in his appearance. There were always some people or things in this world that could touch the heart, whether they were in bloom or in wilt.

Own your domme tendencies, lady! You are contemplating how beautiful a bloody, hooks through collarbones guy is. Oh, web novels are glorious!

4. I love that the author makes the parallels explicit.

The two pairs of eyes met, each one deep in thought. Ji Yunhe did not know what the jiaoren was thinking, but she had an eerie feeling that her current situation was very similar to his. Entrapment.

and

What was the difference between him and Ji Yunhe? Lin Haoqing and Lin Canglan, the former was defensive and suspicious of her and wanted to get rid of her, the latter used her in every way possible and could not squeeze enough blood out of her. If she were to escape from the valley, the poison in her body would activate, not to mention the entire world under royal power would regard her as a traitor. None of the four major demon master quarters would accept her again. Between the jiaoren and Ji Yunhe, one was a plaything under the power and one was a pawn. They were both prisoners.

Though I am not sure why she takes time out to notice how muscular his abdomen is. Girl, you are thirsty for that particular raw bar item!

5. This author likes torture like het Meatbun.

The lightning strikes that had disappeared briefly started up again. Black iron full of inscriptions flashed with blinding light, striking onto the jiaoren again and again. The demon hanging in the air seemed to have no more reaction to the pain. His muscles autonomously spasmed a bit then became still. His head hung low and his long silver hair scattered across his body in a bloody, sticky mess. Like a lifeless ragdoll. Ice blue eyes were now hidden behind his lids, no one could see any expression.

And then he manages to take down torturer dude anyway and everyone skedaddles, leaving the torture mechanism still turned on UMMMM I hope he drowns all you guys.

This novel is mad fun!