#defensive skedaddling. you know how it is

[graveyardrabbit]

have got to figure out how to explain to my brain that “what if we started driving and just kept going?” is not actually the answer to any given problem, and is in fact probably the answer to none of them

[alexa-fika]

Could I request child reader where she ate the devil fruit that turns her into a spotted rusted cat( it's one of the smallest cats in the world, they grow up to 5'9 to 11 inches) i think it would be fun seeing her on whitebeards ship. Just a tiny kitty running around the deck, she was in her cat form and kinda dozed off. Maybe in a crate of supplies

Please just whitebeard holding this tiny kitten in his palm or by the scruff by the neck. She just turns back into a Human. She just feral because she's an orphan and looks after herself. She isn't scared to bite and scratch.

Claws out (Whitebeard pirates x f!Cat!reader)

Pt 2

A/N Guys I COOKED here, I have like one curse word here so be on the lookout for that, I also had to tease our favorite Freckled man on his origins on the Moby dick, just had to. Also double post today since I have homework I have been pushing back and have to do tomorrow so im not sure if I can upload tomorrow so wanted to feed you guys before

Reader here is replaced by dokucha which means Reader in japanese

Dividers by @/saradika

“How was the mission, Thatch?” Izou asked, walking next to his brother

“Ace and I rounded em in no time; he replied, making his way into the kitchen

“They never stood a chance,” said commander pipes in

“You should have- Is that a cat?” he asks, interrupting his statements as he glances at the feline freely dozing off on top of his kitchen’s oven

“Not again! Hey! Up and at’ em! Skedaddle!”

Dokusha opens her eyes as the sound of screams directed her way abruptly wakes her up, narrowing her eyes and hissing at the commanders

She shifts into her human form, taking a defensive position, ready to pounce on the two strangers

“Who are you?”

“Woah! It talks?” Ace asked his brother in disbelief with a broad smile

“Golly, Looks like it’s a zoan type,” Thatch says, glancing at the girl on his counter

“I don’t think she likes us,” Izou says, matching the stare of the stowaway and narrowing his eyes

“Get closer, and I'm clawing your eyes out,” she hisses

“Well, someone is grumpy,” Ace says, chuckling as he holds his hands up

“Now, aint that cute?” Thatch says with a small smile

“Hey, lil lady, how about you get off the counter, and we can talk things out?”

“How about you fuck off?”

“Aww, don’t talk like that lil’ one. Ya hurting my feelings,” Thatch says, smirking as he tries to come closer to the girl

“Careful, Thatch, this one is rather feisty,” Izou says

“Don’t worry, he can handle it,” Ace says, also coming closer

“Get the hell away from me!”

Ace and Thatch look at each other, smirking as they try to approach the girl

“Don’t be like that kitty, I just want to get to know ya,” Thatch says, trying to take another step forward

They hiss at him, pouncing on him

Thatch laughs easily, taking hold of her wrists and trapping her against him, bringing her closer to his chest, effectively hugging her trapped

“Sorry, Pumkin’, it’s gonna take a little bit more than that to take me down.”

Izou quickly steps close to the two, snapping a sea stone bracelet on her wrist

She frowns as her claws go back to normal, effectively leaving her defenseless, struggling against the hold Thatch had on her

Thatch keeps holding her close, ignoring her struggles with a grin on his face

“Quite the wild one,” Sighs Izou, glancing at the girl and ignoring the constant hisses and struggles

“Reminds me of yer early days, Ace,” Thatch laughs

“You think so?”

A smirk was visible on Ace’s face at this, and he replied with a sarcastic tone of voice

“I reminded you of a cat?”

“A dejected one, always trying to get to Pops,” Izou comments

“I was not a dejected cat! If anything, I was a fierce one.”

“If ya say so, Ace,” Thatch says with a grin on his face

“Let me go you lowlifes!” she continues hissing and struggling, unable to move and trapped in his grip

“Quit your bellyachin; we’re not even tryin’ to hurt you,” Thatch says, still holding her in his grasp

“Come on, we just want to talk,” Ace says

“Let’s talk without these on then,” she growls, gesturing to the bracelet now bound around her wrist

“Sorry, the bracelet stays on,” Izou says, smiling

“We should take her to Pops, see what he wants to do,” Ace comments, glancing at the cat girl, frowning when he notices the various scratches littering her skin

“We should also have Marco take a look at her.”

“Let me go, you giant troll!”

Currently, Dokucha had found herself once again under the hands of the pirates, held by the scruff of her shirt and under the scrutiny of the captain, who simply watched her with a laugh

“Well, aren’t you a squirmy one?” Whitebeard grins as the girl continues to struggle in his hands

“She does remind me of you, boy.”

“Not this again, Pops; I was not this bad, was I ?”

“You were, went at it hundreds of times before you came around,” Laughs Vista, looking at the Flame man

“Let me down!”She yells, continuing to struggle in the hands of the large pirate, now starting to kick her legs in the direction of the large pirate

“So what do we do with this one?” Ace asks

“Take her to Marco; it seems she’s in a rough shape,” he said, placing her down

“After she has been patched up, you can show her where she’ll be sleeping; you will have to take turns watching this one.”

“Will do Pops”

She takes advantage of the small handoff and makes a dash for one of the Junior Boats

“Woah there, slow down, Madam, you’re not going nowhere but the medic bay,” says Vista, quickly taking hold of the woman, making his way to the clinic with her

“Let me go, you damn brute!”

“Brute? I’ll have you know I'm far from a brute, Madam,” he retorts

“Don’t let her get to you, Vista; you know how the new ones are,” Izou pipes in, walking next to the swordsman

“I swear I will claw your heart out once I get off these!” Dokucha growls, pulling at the restraints that now held her to the examination table

“I apologize for the restraints, but I really need to take a look at you; you have wounds that need attention, and you are at risk of an infection if they are not taken care of-yoi, please understand” sighs Marco

“How did you get all of these wounds-yoi?” Marco asked curiously once she had stopped struggling

“I don’t need to answer that,” She hisses through gritted teeth, glaring at him, trying her hardest to keep her arms from pulling at the restraints

“You certainly don’t, and no one here will force you to; we just want to help you, is all; it’s the least you could do, seeing as you are a stowaway in our ship-yoi.”

She remains quiet for a few moments after that comment

“You don’t want to talk about it, right?” Marco asks, tilting his head to the side as he takes down notes about her condition

And the many scars she had

“That’s fine; you can speak when you feel more comfortable-yoi.”

“It’s none of your business,” she mumbles

“Alright, I won’t pry then-yoi,” he replies, taking down more notes before speaking again

“Do you feel anything weird lately? Like an uneasy sensation, headaches, fatigue, or anything similar-yoi?” he questions, glancing up when he receives no response

“Let’s do something. You seem to have calmed down, so answer me the question, and I‘ll get those restraints off-yoi.”

“I have been getting fatigued lately, lots of headaches,” she mutters

“See? Not so hard now, was it-yoi?” he said, taking notes of her comments, placing the clipboard down, and snapping off her restraints

She rubs at her wrists once they have been removed

“And the sea stone?”

“We’ll keep that on until we are sure you’re not a danger to anyone on board-yoi,” Marco replies, looking up at her

“Tell me more about those headaches-yoi. Are they the throbbing type? Do they come and go?”

“No, it’s pulsating and constant.”

“And the fatigue?”

“Constant, I always feel tired and end up dozing off.”

“Have you been eating?”

“I don’t have the liberty to eat as I please,” she growls

“Been struggling lately?”

“I have since my folks were killed.”

He glances up at her

“I ‘m sorry for your loss.”

“…I appreciate that.”

He smiles, ruffling her head

“There you go, you can relax her. None of us mean any harm-you”

Be pauses as he hears a rumbling sound, his smile growing into a wide grin

“Are you purring-yoi?”

She blushes, slapping his hand away

“No!”

This has potential for a part 2 doesn’t it 👀 okay so I feel like I always start it in the supply room so I decided to switch things up and started up in the kitchen this time, spice things up a bit 💅🏽

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

[spyroforlife]

SO.

Your thoughts on the latest episode of Helluva Boss? Do not spare the walls of text.

It was good but I feel like Andrealphus's plot was very contrived and it had so many ways it could have gone wrong and backfired on his ass, but instead it conveniently didn't so that we could get depowered Stolas and Stolitz hurt/comfort. Everything fell into place perfectly to get Stolas to admit his fault and thus Satan takes his power and Andrealphus and Stella win. Because that's just how they wanted to write it. Buut.. idk. I think this should have worked out differently.

Stolas is a genius and has been portrayed as someone who is very meticulous when it comes to deals and laws. I think it would have been far more interesting if he had showed up to the trial fully prepared to defend both himself and Blitz, with a solid case to present to the Sins. And being a Goetia, Stolas would have likely had a better chance at strong-arming them into actually listening to his testimony, versus Blitz who they of course just dismissed because he's an imp. But Stolas has power. He has pull. True, he had to move fast to even get there before the execution, which Andrealphus was surely relying on. Ultimately, Andrealphus is meant to be the 'mastermind' of this episode. But still, I think Stolas could have used his influence at that point to halt everything and force this to proceed in a more fair fashion.

Let him gather evidence and present a defense. And then he could have turned things BACK AROUND on Andrealphus, to prove to the court that he's trying to bring Stolas down just to get his power for himself, and reveal all Andrealphus's lying and bribing.

But you know. This isn't as exciting. So of course we got what we got.

An alternative idea though, to me, would just be... Stolas IS the owner of the grimoire. Anything he decides to do with it, in his ultimate wisdom, is just and acceptable. He should have just simply pulled rank and said sure, he allowed Blitz to use the book for his business, but this is his domain and if he authorized it, it goes. It's no one else's place to interfere in Stolas's use of the grimoire. That could have been an interesting angle. And at this point Blitz has been using the Asmodean crystal anyway, so hey, you wanna take this up with ASMODEUS?

And Asmodeus, being a Sin, will probably be granted even more leeway. He gave it to Blitz, for Blitz to use as he wished. End of story. And Blitz is no longer using the grimoire. What's the problem? There isn't one :) But how INTERESTING that Andrealphus brings this up now, huh? Almost like he's... trying to get something out of all this... HMM

Basically, turn Satan's wrath onto Andrealphus for being manipulative, and Blitz and crew can skedaddle, and Stolas is fine.

These are just more reasonable ideas about how it could have gone, and again, I acknowledge that that's not really the point. They wanted it to be dramatic, they wanted it to be angsty, and that's how they wrote it. Of COURSE Satan's an impatient little shit. Of COURSE Stolas barely gets there with time to spare and just immediately throws his reputation and life on the line for Blitz. Of COURSE Satan just decides fine by him and strips him of his power, so of COURSE we get Stolas going home with Blitz and things are domestic and sad uwu

Still. I just like to imagine how things could have gone differently, and Icedick coulda gotten his ass handed to him

ah well I'm just gonna hold out hope for Octavia figuring out Stolas is alive and rushing to be with him and immediately start helping him figure out how to appeal to Satan and turn this all around, also Vassago can help because I like him

on a less serious note, there were some pretty cute Stolitz moments that I enjoyed and I hope they talk more about their feelings now. Also Andrealphus and Stella's incest thing is fucking hilarious and it's been so funny to see people losing their minds over it, OH NO THE OWL ROYALS ARE DOING AN INCEST, THE SCANDAL

[voidcommascreamintothe]

On how people think Nesta is the abuser in early acotar

Okay, so..

1) the series was never supposed to be more that three books, therefore all secondary characters are bland and not developed that well, or at all.

2) Nesta’s and Elain’s primary- dare I say, only, narrative purpose in the first book was to get us, the audience on board with Feyre’s decision to stay in the Spring Court fairly early in the story. Ugly (step)sisters as narrative shorthand for “main girl’s life is awful so she needs to skedaddle very quickly”.

Now that we have that out of the way, Nesta in book one is so very different than the Nesta in the other books. I remember reading these books (the first time round) and getting whiplash at how different the characterization was for both sisters really.

I am aware that a lot of people are very passionate about their defense of Feyre, but I beg you, down on my knees with my hands clasped in a prayer, i beg you to realize that these were children and teenagers we are talking about. Children and teenagers that were never taught how to love. Nesta was never taught how to be nice, only how to seduce a rich husband, with perfectionism beaten into her. It very clearly states, in book four, that Nesta is all claws and sharp edges because she was forced to be that. And so when the time came to reign in that spitefulness, she realized it became a permanent feature of herself.

I do not think people realize just how difficult it is to learn how to show and accept love, even more so when you have to teach yourself in adulthood because you are trying to better yourself. Well I do.

This might count as insider trading: I am privy to this perspective because i have lived through something similar, but somewhere along the way, you do it because you need to forgive yourself and because it is the right thing to do; not to seek validation/forgiveness from others. Truly healing means accepting that you cannot change the past, and that you cannot make others accept your apology. But you apologize because it’s the right thing to do.

The beauty of Nesta’s book, is that you, dear audience member and beloved reader, do not have to forgive Nesta, she does not want it. The character you are defending already forgave her, so you become slightly less relevant in their story.

Tangentially related, but Feyre tried to reach out to Nesta multiple times in order to make amends, and only gave up when Rhys stepped in.. Foreshadowing is a narrative technique-

Insisting that a child can be abusive, insisting that CHILD Nesta was abusing Feyre is a dangerous line of thinking.

Child neglect and abuse is a heavy topic, and I don’t think I am educated enough to speak on it. All I will say is that assuming that every older child that grew up in a neglectful home in inherently abusive/neglectful themselves is an abhorrent thought to have. Being mean and outwardly cruel to people you love because you don’t know how to love them is not abuse, it is a cry for help.

In this scenario, we are talking about Nesta’s INACTION and lack of contribution. That is not abuse. It is of grave importance that people realize this. Nesta was groomed to be one thing and one thing only, a perfect wife. She was never taught how to love and care for her sisters, and had to learn this in adulthood, much like how Feyre had to do the same.

However Feyre was given grace, given support and understanding, given enough space to learn how to love freely and how to be loved.

The entire second book is about this. Do you people not read?

Nesta on the other hand, is ever only given this kind of treatment in book four, by Gwyn and Emerie: two characters that are removed from the Inner Circus and Rhysand. It is only when Rhysand suggests, and subsequently steamrolls over Feyre’s hesitations, that Nesta is removed from Feyre’s space, and Feyre herself stops reaching out. Only because Rhys mettles.

Like I stated above, foreshadowing is a narati-

Like many of you, Rhysand loves Feyre, and goes to extreme lengths to protect her and keep her safe. However, he is extremely biased against Nesta, pouring all of his anger at how mistreated Feyre was onto Nesta. Nesta bears the brunt of his terribly misguided attempt to protect Feyre, and Elain is left on the sidelines, just like she was when she tried to take accountability for her own failure during the Archeron’s poverty era. And yet, Rhysand ignores this.

Elain is viewed as the innocent child that is incapable of coherent thought. Elain is much softer in appearance therefore is considered to be almost incapable of carrying blame. Somehow, most likely because Nesta does not conform nor does she assimilate into Fae life the way Elain does, Elain is perceived to be the “good one”. Make no mistake, Rhysand keeps Elain around to use her against Nesta- the scrying incident in Silver Flames; he does not really respect her. Otherwise he would have held her just as responsible as Nesta. Instead, he and the others, treat Elain like a dimwit and Nesta as the pariah.

All of this, this being Rhysand being kind of a shitty dude, all of it would have been fine, were it not for the fact that Rhysie is consistently justified by the narrative. He is clearly the favourite character if the author and is always positioned to be the Moral Compass of the story, and therefore always positioned to be the one who is in the right. All of Rgysand’s moves and decisions are made out to be the decision, the only correct ones, the ones that the audience is supposed to have/share/approve of,

The fact that us girlies are having a tussle over a lot of the female characters simply because on how the narrative favors a male character, and how that male character keeps meddling in women’s affairs, is honestly some kind of profound irony.

The author’s inability to let go of her favoritism of said male character is boiling my piss and curdling my menstrual blood.

Bonsoir.

Ps.

Being mean and outwardly cruel to people you love because you don’t know how to love them is not abuse, it is a cry for help.

[valve3nthusiast]

Hey have I ever mentioned that I'm a teeny tiny bit insane about Crystal City arc. My brain is chewing on wrift sexy kidnapping aus constantly... and then I get frustrated when I have no solid ideas because a barbarian au just doesn't have Crystal City vibes but I'm stuck on a pre-spacetravel setting

I've sort of settled on an ancient greece-esque warring city-states au??? And some wifeposting themes snuck in there too (this ended up more plot-y than smutty honestly) (I didn't realize how long this got so editing a cut here)

Deadlock's backstory is mostly the same with only setting tweaks: he's a Rodion mercenary who rises up and then falls out of Megatron's favor, got assigned to Turmoil and eventually skedaddled, etc

The Decepticon Empire he fought for is a coalition of city-states and conquered territories, led by Megatron, with the goal of uniting all of Cybertron under one banner. Autobots is an alliance of city-states that oppose them, yadda yadda you get the idea

IDK what plot setup needs to happen yet but Wing and "Drift" meet and get to know each other outside of Crystal City and bond a bit. I like the idea of Wing getting to know Deadlock before Wing's very presence and worldview radically changes his personality, with Wing first realizing he's intensely drawn and attracted to Deadlock

Then Wing rescues Deadlock from *handwaves* a situation and brings him back to Crystal City... but in this au, Crystal City has avoided being conquered by having *handwaves again* some kind of myserious, unknown, and impenetratable defense

A defense that get a lot less mysterious when Deadlock sees it from the inside, which now makes him a threat to Crystal City. Wing, of course, protests killing his friend? someone who hasn't yet done anything wrong, but they still cant let him leave...

To avoid alarming the populace by admitting an enemy soldier could threaten the secrets of the City, and to Wing's hesitance and Deadlock's outrage, "Drift" is to be integrated into life in the City as Wing's warbride

It's not uncommon for a mech in an invaded or conquered territory to catch a warrior's eye, and be brought back home as a "kept conjunx". Crystal City holds no outside territories, but venturing Knights still participate in this custom. If Deadlock doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in a cell, it's his best option for keeping some of his freedom in Crystal City

Wing, obviously, feels horribly guilty about this, not helped by his unspoken attraction to Drift. He swears to find a way for Drift to escape while still protecting the residents of the city. Drift was stripped of his guns, so he even secretly begins teaching Drift swordfighting, something that's banned for anyone other than the Knights of the Circle of Light. He doesn't want Drift to feel helpless, but if they get caught he's in trouble

But what they do in secret doesn't change the facts: terrifying deception Deadlock now has to act like a submissive conquest. He's expecing the next years to be torture, upholding appearances by being paraded about like a fancy pleasure drone as Wing yanks him around by a metaphorical (or maybe even literal) leash

That... isn't what happens

When the Circle said "integrated" they meant it. The other Knights have warbrides (I figure ocs) who accept Deadlock into the group with open arms. There's probably a little subplot I could do here with them being autobots and decepticons working together. It would be the first time Deadlock had ever actually felt a strong sense of community, Dead End and the Empire wouldn't have that, and it would start the path to shaking up his worldview on the war

And the way Wing treats him... Wing is... gentle. They go on dates, like a pair of ridiculous, smitten newbuilds. He sees the normal civilians of Crystal City, living a normal life unaffected by war. His instinctive reaction of disgust slowly changes over time, to something else that he can't quantify...

(A guiding hand around his hip, kisses pressed to his cheek. The most amorous thing they do in public is him cuddling into Wing's chest as Wing strokes his finials)

(They should be doing more than that. Crystal City isn't some utopia, plenty of Knights see fit to enjoy their warbrides in public in the "traditional" manner. Warbrides can and do take issue with their situation, hence why they've formed a community to support each other. But even under pressure from the Circle, Wing cannot bring himself to do that to Drift)

(Deadlock doesn't know how to feel when the other warbrides tell him that his relationship is like a fairy tale romance. They're right, after all: he is lucky to have a conjunx who cares)

The juicy part of this au for me is Deadlock realizing he likes the play-pretend. He likes how Wing treats him like something beautiful and delicate... struggling with the realization he's slowly grown to enjoy pretending to be "Drift", Wing's tamed former-deception wife, to the point where he isn't pretending anymore

Maybe some sort of plot thing happens that finally shakes the last of his loyalty to the Decepticon Empire and gets him more freedom, and after so many years of a loving relationship with Wing, he embraces being a resident of Crystal City. The City is far from perfect, but... it has Wing. It's painful, to finally choose to sacrifice being a warrior

He gets a rebuild that at first glance seems more civilian... but he would never be satisfied with being defenseless, so the new frame is covertly armored and insanely flexible (honestly I just want to give him his mtmte childbearing hips again)

The first time they have sex would be so emotionally crunchy, Wing trying so hard to apologize for the poor circumstances through action, tenderly making love to Deadlock like his nervous warbride is a virgin on his bonding night, the way Wing wanted to from the very beginning...

Constantly praising how beautiful he is, how indomitable in soul, how privileged Wing is to be able to call him wife... Deadlock is completely undone by the way Wing makes sure he feels special, valued, being so slow and careful with his pleasure, like he's a blushing noble waif instead of a hardened gun-for-hire

(Like he's worth the effort)

Either wrift lives happily ever after (for a given value of such, Drift is still kidnapped) or more bullshit happens and I write it up in a second post. Honestly will probably make a second post because I can't resist writing about pregnant Drift and I didn't even mention that in all this nonsense

[lifesver]

@t4mpered said: it's teetering closer to four in the morning than it is three anymore. and danny's spent the majority of the night teetering on leland's perceptive truth of him. he can feel the warmth of the bleachers through his jeans. the sun. the music. leland's face. his expression. scared of being hurt. i get it, he'd said. scared of being hurt. he gets it. it doesn't matter, but it does. danny's painfully sober and despite the innate desire to chase the discomfort with whatever he can get his hands on, he doesn't. funny how he still ends up outside leland's dorm without recollection of how he got there. what end game does he have in mind? why does it fucking matter so much? three knocks and he's brushing past sonny with a muttered hey, williams. of everything he wants to say and throw at a bleary-eyed leland mckinney, all that he manages when their eyes finally meet is a clipped "... did you drool on yourself?"

leland hears the knock-knock from somewhere in his half-asleep stupor. but he could not have expected the omen it would bring with it.

leland groans, and buries his face in his pillow as he hears sonny get up. as always, the first to act. shuffling across the carpet to open their dorm room door. leland manages a disgruntled and unhelpful "huh". which sonny answers by poking his head back around the corner, and staring at leland like it's his fault. frowning back at him, he finally rolls himself out of bed, brushing by sonny, mumbling a complaint.

leland stops, raises his eyes slowly. oh, he understands why it's his fault, now.

❝ ... ugh. hi. ❞ it's the first thing that comes to his groggy mind. but it seems like a fair exchange. ❝ jesus. what time is it. ❞ he palms the sleep out of his eye, and pauses. drool? what? leland glances down at his shirt in delay, and frowns. okay. there were a few wet spots. whatever — everyone does that, right? leland squints back up at danny. eyebrows drop down in confusion, then punch up, mildly offended; ❝ … seriously? you're making house calls to insult me, now? ❞

no. that’s not it.

upon a second look, leland takes note of danny’s face. the tense lines drawn out in his features — had he slept at all? he looks... rough. for a moment, leland can’t puzzle it together. was this about earlier? what he said? no way, right? danny could probably find twenty reasons to hate him — but... leland had never seen danny react the way he did, today. as if something leland said had finally cut through that thick skin. and it was empathy. it was straight-forward. he told danny exactly what he saw. he doesn't really know why. and maybe he should have kept his mouth shut.

a sigh, heavy exhale, as he shoots a look over his shoulder. ❝ sonny’s trying to sleep, so... ❞ — and so was he. but fuck him, he guesses. leland makes a half-hearted ‘lets skedaddle’ type motion at danny as he shoulders on his letterman. kicks on his running shoes. and trudges through the door. down the hall and outside. and he has to ask himself the question; was he really about to let this guy lay into him again?

once they're outside, leland takes in the cool night air. slides hands into jacket pockets and shifts on his heels. when danny doesn’t immediately start, he sends an unsure look sidelong at him.

❝ so… what’s this about, man? ❞ a beat, hesitation. he feels like he needs to cover the quiet. ❝ hey, if it's about what i said before — ❞ his inclination is toward defensiveness, really. but he forcibly reorients himself. reminds himself; it's good to know when to apologize. it's good to know when to apologize —

leland ducks his head, pretends to find something of interest in the grass below. ❝ — look, um. i probably… overstepped, okay? i’m sorry. ❞

[toastythetoasterrr]

Today's victim is...

Sydney Askrill!

Love 'em, hate 'em, nobody can deny the good they've done for the wasteland. They're an incredibly good person, to the point where one of their nicknames is "The Angel of the Wastes." However, they're incredibly snappy, defensive, and angry. Even though they're like this and seem like they sincerely hate people, they help almost everyone in need of help that they meet.

Swag.

They grew up in homey homey Vault 101. They didn't really like anyone there either. Their dad, his assistant Jonah, and their friend Amata were basically the only exceptions. They REALLY didn't like this one kid, Butch. The two of them had to be dragged away from each other multiple times.

Oh damn. 19th birthday, Amata woke them up in a panic and gave them a pistol because their dad left and Jonah got dead. Sydney managed to wiggle out of the Vault, and hooh boy.

Time to find dear old dad.

First stop: Megaton. He had JUST left. Sydney learns they were born outside the Vault. And then accidentally gets the mayor sheriff killed. They then skedaddle.

Second Stop: Galaxy News Radio. They kill a Super Mutant Behemoth with the Brotherhood of Steel! The radio host, Three Dog, asks them to fix a tower before he'll tell them where their dad went. They do so, find out he just left for Rivet City.

So they go to Rivet City! He's not there either. He had just left. Again. To a random mechanic shop in the middle of nowhere? They get there, and oh no! He's trapped in a...

SIMULATION!!!

They end up taking everybody but themself, their dad, and the Overseer out to get their dad out. It was either that or everybody continued suffering for who knows how long! They don't like it either.

Anyways, Woohoo! They have their dad back! And they get to work with him to get the people clean water?! Dream come true!

Until he sacrificed himself in front of Sydney so the Enclave wouldn't get Project Purity. Damnit. And the Enclave guy in charge lived, too.

So Sydney was convinced he murdered their dad.

Anyways, they escort the other scientists to the Brotherhood's HQ, being sent to get something called a G.E.C.K. They get beef with a child and a Super Mutant friend during that! And then they get kidnapped. By the Enclave.

Raven Rock fucking sucked. Sydney has more issues from it than they were dragged in with. But they got the G.E.C.K, bullied the Enclave's president into shutting down (he was a robot) and escaped with severe claustrophobia and the G.E.C.K! Yahoo!

They went back to Project Purity and did a dumb thing right after killing Colonel Autumn, their dad's murderer. They went into the rad-filled chamber to activate the whole thing. With Fawkes next to them. You know, the guy immune to radiation.

Boom! Awake again! They were out for 2 whole weeks?! No matter. They take out the Enclave. Easy Peasy.

They get a sword and pure white Power Armor! From a pre-war military training simulation! For some reason, the Brotherhood Outcasts tried to kill them.. But they skedaddled.

They got abducted by aliens. And then hijacked their ship?! And got a bunch of cool guns.. and a medic friend.. Cool!

The Pitt. They kidnapped a baby to save dozens of people. The baby is in good health, by the way!

And Point Lookout. They had a dream they got bullied by a Vault Boy bobblehead while trying to follow their dad through a swamp. All because they ate a fruit to infiltrate a group to help a ghoul kill a brain in a jar.

After that, they decided to swear off boats for good.

Never touching a boat again. It was misery.

[fatebinds]

"it's max," he insists, even all but staring down a barrel. he can take murder, but he draws the line at disrespect. it's unfortunate, then, that the latter is much easier to do than the former. "and i'm not—" he exhales sharply, amused. "—i'm not hitting on you." this isn't a love letter, some flight of fancy brought on by a schoolboy crush. there are better things to point his admiration toward. but curiosity is a black hole eating away at him, and while he keeps the information out of even his own conscious eye, so is a desire for understanding. ira seems determined to refuse him that—deliberately so, as far as he can tell. deliberately, but not in the wrong direction. max isn't here for a seduction, but he can hardly help himself. he's always been drawn to the macabre to a pathological degree and this situation is only more proof of tendency toward the bizarre. he does get a kick out of the conclusions he's drawn, as surely as he does out of ira's guarded—in his opinion—confirmation of them. but before he can jump to his own defense, ira's hand is between his leg. oh. he's found the third thing that will send him skedaddling... embarrassment. it's not that he's hard that has him balking—that's hardly a surprise. even plain adrenaline can do that—but now that he's been groped like that ira can tell he's not... well-endowed. that's a little more personal than he's wanted to get. "whatever, man." it's easy to contain himself, but he feels like he's been struck by lightning. how horrible. how exhilarating. "i'm telling you. i know something's up."

"Are you hitting on me Maddox?" Stepping on his flowers, intruding his house and calling him wicked ? He might as well have slipped a hand down his pants at this point.

You could wonder why it is that Ira's not reached for his phone yet, why he hasn't more forcefully asked the other to leave. Home intruders were not treated like a farce around here, especially not given the current mood of the city of Antioch. They still had no clue on that vampire and who better than a so called Satan enthusiast to make a prime suspect.

Truth is, Ira likes the attention. He craves it, he thrives in it. He aspires for greatness. When the vampire gets caught, you bet your ass he'll fight to be their defense. He's arrogant, but he's also efficient. Deadly, eager for the kill.

Now what is Maddox eager for? Not the truth. How can he know it's the truth. In fact... "It doesn't matter what I say. You already have convinced yourself that I'm a flesh eating monster and you won't accept anything different as the truth." Rightfully so. "You get a kick from being around someone like me," a touch of mystical. What is closer to pagan rites than a man who ate his own friends to survive ? They weren't his friend, mind you. Kali was the only one who had mattered to him back then. Bonds had been made through the months, and alliances became a lifelong connection linked in blood. "This is about you, getting a kick of adrenaline," he accused. While he spoke, he has approached Maddox. He's standing right in front of him now, staring down at him with defiance clear in his eye as he reaches down and palms at the man's crotch long enough to confirm his theory. "Get the fuck out of my house."

[the-orange-in-red-silk]

i need stede and ed at that privateer academy thing without the kiss happening and without ‘you are dead’ moment that kicked off a massive avalance of guilt inside stede.

i dunno how that institute works but it had this vibe of being a mixture of prison and school. they spend every day together, keep to themselves because all pirates there know ed is blackbeard and are too scared to engage. it involves a moment of ed saying they stay clear of him "cause they know who i am." and stede, with a smile, being his supportive loving self, goes "well I know who you are. that's why i'm staying by your side" and ed's like 🥺😍

and ed is also suuuuuuuuuper pining!!!!! like hardcore pining for stede but wont push things! he's just happy to share his life with him, even if it's just them being best friends. he folds stede's clothes and at night, he just stares at the bed above him, yearning for stede.

and i also need a moment where like 4 or 5 pirates corner stede. and ed shows up and saves him with his presence alone. there's no leather nor beard anymore but the intense aura of dominance and danger is still there and an intense death stare which he uses to make them back away from stede. maybe he even takes down one of them and the others skedaddle and stede later asks ed to teach him some self defense moves because ed cant always be there to save him, followed by a trip down memory lane of all the countless times of ed saving his ass and stede's like he will never be able to pay ed back for everything.

self defense training comes with close body contact of course which really messes with ed. and in turn stede teaches ed how to read

someone please write a blackbonnet fanfic of them at that academy, ed being aware of his feelings for stede but not acting on them because he just wants to be with him and stede maybe slowly realising what it is that he’s feeling for ed

[therealvalkyrie]

Basil Part 1

Pairing/setting: Pro-hero!Bakugou Katsuki x Female!Reader

Summary: After bringing home Bakugou from a bar, you invite him to stay for breakfast.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: swearing, kissing, mentions of sex, soft bakugou, aged up characters

AN: I’m sending it lmao. Figured I’d just drop this and go to sleeb, then maybe I’ll find the motivation to finish the second part tomorrow. We shall see!! Don’t forget to come tell me what you think:) Be kind to yourself and others!! ~valkyrie

Something different wakes you this morning. The familiar presence of your cat, Tonic, curled next to your head on the pillow isn’t it, and it’s not your alarm. You crack open a heavy eye and close your dry mouth. Judging by the pale cloudless sky visible through the window, it’s not time for you to get up yet. Was it a noise? A neighbor? A dream? You try to think back on what you’d been dreaming about in your sleep, but the visuals get hazier by the second as you blink lazily. The urge to stretch and your body washes over you quietly, achingly, and you start to roll onto your right side, away from the cat, only to be prevented by a body across your waist. Alarm jolts through you as you glance down. A head of disheveled blonde hair nuzzled into your side greets your gaze. Then, as your eyes slide down the very naked body attached to the hair, you remember.

Oh. Right.

It’s the man from the bar. The one with striking eyes and an attitude problem who nevertheless charmed his way into your pants with drinks and well-timed wit. It’s the man who tucked you under his arm as you giggled your way out of the bar, made out with you in the back of the taxi, and fucked you until you couldn’t think straight. Bakugou Katsuki.

The memory brings a lethargic smile to your dry lips and a warmth to the rest of your body as you experimentally ghost your fingers down his naked back. He looks tranquil here, torso rising and falling easily in sleep, arm thrown over your stomach, and head using your underboob as a pillow. Your sheets are bunched around your tangled legs but you still feel comfortably warm from his body heat. He’s practically like a furnace, skin hot and slightly sweaty on yours.

Eventually, after staring at him through soft eyes for what should be an embarrassingly long time (but really, you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, not when he’d devoured your body with his eyes the night before), you stretch your arms as much as you can without disturbing him and reach for your phone on the bedside table. The screen lights up as you tug out the charging cord, displaying the time (6:13) and a flurry of notifications from your girls’ night group chat. Scrolling lazily through without bothering to open the app, you read the conversation in reverse while tracing gentle circles on Bakugou’s toned back:

carolina, 6:00: ferny have u been murdered in the night

carolina, 5:59: i am alive…………………….barely

Then, it’s arguments and teasing about another friend, Ichika, leaving with a “short ass man,” in Carolina’s words, and then confirmations of everyone arriving safely home. So you weren’t the only one who left with someone last night? It makes you feel better about abandoning your friends. It wasn’t that they couldn’t take care of themselves, more that nights out with your girls were few and far between, given your hectic schedules. You know they wouldn’t hold it against you, but you were looking forward to spending time with them. Scroll, scroll, scroll.

carolina, 00:46: we want details in the morn😈

Mei, 00:45: in that case, take your time sweaty😘

Mei, 00:44: WHAT THE FUCK????

ichika, 00:44: Ground Zero??

Of course they’d discuss this, thirsty whores, you think, grinning. You knew who he was the second he leaned up against the bar next to you with a cocky smile and a pick-up line; it’s not like you’re completely oblivious, unlike Mei, even if you don’t generally keep up with the latest pro-hero gossip. And he didn’t let you forget it, either. Fresh heat rises up your neck as echoes of last night ring in your mind.

“Say it, baby, who’s fuckin’ you so good?”

“Y-you are!”

“And who am I?”

“Ground Ze-ero!”

The ghostly feeling of his fingers digging into your hips makes your thighs twitch together.

ichika, 00:44: omg no way

Mei, 00:44: who?

carolina, 00:44: of course i saw, that was motherfucking bakugou katsuki!!!!!!

Mei, 00:43: y’all see that smokeshow she left with? we won’t be hearin shit until tmrw

carolina, 00:41: or don’t;) we know you’re occupied

ichika, 00:41: lmk when you get home safe, love!!

When you’re finally caught up, you open your phone and type out a clumsy response with one thumb.

Ferny, 6:18: was not murdered, promise i will give deets later

Ferny, 6:18: he’s still here uwu

A low, sleepy grunt pulls your gaze from your phone screen and onto Bakugou. He’s finally stirring, nose pressing into the pudge of your stomach and body twisting further into the sheets.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” you murmur, locking your phone and tossing it back onto the nightstand.

His head jerks up and he looks momentarily caught off-balance, guarded, before he turns to look at your face and his expression softens.

“Mornin, beautiful,” he mumbles in a gravelly morning voice, pushing up the bed to press his lips to yours. Your cat mewls at the inconvenient shift in the pillow and brushes down your body to settle by your feet instead. Indulging for a moment in the soft glow of kissing him, your arms loop around his neck and his warm hand ghosts over your cheek, down your neck, across your clavicle. You let out a singular satisfied moan at the feeling of his bare chest against yours, then gently pull away.

“I have morning breath,” you complain with a pout. He only smirks devilishly.

“You taste alright to me,” he quips before sneaking another, faster kiss to your lips.

You squeal and push him back playfully with an indignant, “Bakugou!”

“Alright, alright,” he concedes defeat, flopping on his back next to you.

Finally, without his body practically pinning you to the mattress, you’re able to sit up and stretch satisfyingly. Your back gives a series of gratifying pops as you yawn and twist, and Bakugou makes an alarmed sound behind you.

“Jesus, you sound like fuckin bubblewrap! Is your back okay?”

“Oh, it’s fine! Always happens when I sleep funny.”

“I dunno, you should maybe get that checked out.”

“After coffee,” you agree noncommittally, then lean down to scoop Tonic from where he’d retreated on the end of the bed and extricate your legs from the tangle of sheets and blankets. “I just have to feed this little guy, and then I was thinking… breakfast? There’s a great bakery across the street.” You’re suddenly shy, voice breathier with the suggestion. 

The protocol you usually employ for one night stands is simple: if you’re at their apartment, make your excuses and skedaddle before anything more intimate like food can happen; if they’re at yours, make your excuses and kick them out before they start doing weird shit to your kitchen. But Bakugou feels different. There isn’t an ounce of regret or shame or embarrassment when you think back on the previous night, and the morning already feels intimate, with its lazy kisses and easy banter. You wouldn’t mind spending more time with him, but you can’t tell if he feels the same. Or if he’s waiting for an excuse to leave and get back to his life.

“Let me make you breakfast,” comes the unexpected reply, and you twist to look at him, eyebrows arched in surprise at both the acceptance of your invitation and his willingness to cook for you. He must mistake it for doubt, though, because he looks suddenly defensive, brow creasing in a frown. “Hey, I can cook, get that dumb look off your face!”

“No, no, that’s not it,” you placate, leaning back and into his side while cradling Tonic to your chest. “I’d love for you to make me breakfast.” You press a kiss to his shoulder as he loops his arm around yours and grumbles something too quiet to hear. “It’s just,” you mumble into his skin, “I don’t have much in the way of a stocked pantry.”

“What do you mean?” You glance up to meet his perplexed gaze.

“I mean, my roommate travels a lot for work and he’s more of a cook than I am,” you explain, not missing the way Bakugou tenses when you mention your male roommate. But he doesn’t say anything, just blinks down at your cat who’s spilled from your arms and across his chest like an uncontainable liquid. “Sorry” —you wince, trying and failing to scoop him back towards you— “he’s very affectionate.”

“S’okay,” he mutters, blinking twice more before focusing back on you. “Let’s at least see what you’ve got, I could probably whip something up.”

You shrug. “Well, okay. Might be a challenge.” At this, he chuckles darkly and narrows his eyes.

“I love a challenge.”

You giggle and push up to sitting again, legs dangling over the edge of the bed and Tonic cradled to your chest. “Alright, Gordon Ramsey, let’s take a look.”

Sauntering over to your closet, you can feel Bakugou’s gaze on you until he stands up as well and starts casting around for his clothes from the previous night.

“Oh,” you start as you reach for a hoodie from the top shelf, dragging his eyes back to you. “If you want some clean clothes, my ex left some stuff that’d fit you.”

He makes a choked sound behind you, then clears his throat. “Uhm, no. Thank you.” It’s strained, and he doesn’t say how he’d rather get food poisoning than wear the clothes of another man who fucked you. The thought makes his skin feel tight and sends an unfamiliar rush of jealousy through him.

You only shrug. “Suit yourself.”

You dress in comfortable silence, trying not to steal glances at his incredible abs while you do it. 

In the hallway, you point at a door, holding Tonic in your arms. “Bathroom’s through there, I think I should have a new toothbrush in the cupboard if you want. The kitchen’s this way, once you’re done.”

He grunts thanks and ducks through the door, flicking on the light switch as he goes.

It puts you slightly off-balance to be aware of someone else in your apartment as you feed Tonic and open up your living room curtains to let the morning sun stream in. You stand there for a moment, looking out over the city and willing your nerves to settle. You like Bakugou, you want him to stay. So just don’t fuck it up.

You hear the bathroom door close and take a deep breath.

In the kitchen, Bakugou stares at your empty cupboards and fridge for a long moment while you stand beside him, awkwardly rubbing your neck.

“What do you eat?” he barks in disbelief, turning to look at you like you’ve got two heads.

“Sunlight and water.”

“What?!”

“It’s my quirk! I, um, photosynthesize.” You cross the kitchen to one of your many plants, a large fern that spreads across half the wall. “Here,” you motion Bakugou over, kneeling down to touch the dirt in its planter. “Watch.”

Bakugou crouches next to you, a confused scowl still etched on his face, but nevertheless looks to where your fingers gently dig into the potting soil.

As you close your eyes and concentrate, pushing will out of your fingers, you feel the fern’s whole network of roots, stalks, and leaves, pulsing with the energy of life. Concentrating, you encourage it to flow towards you, splitting the dirt with a sprout. You allow a smile of satisfaction to split across your face when you hear Bakugou’s gasp of surprise when the sprout bursts into the air and unfurls.

You open your eyes to find his lips slightly parted in awe and his eyebrows raised where they’re normally pinched.

“I photosynthesize and make plants grow.” You lean forward to lightly stroke the little fern’s softly curling leaves. “I can still eat real food, though. It’s just cheaper to get some sun.”

Bakugou leans forward as well, one hand reaching hesitantly toward the fern.

“You did that?” He looks at you in awe.

You nod, smiling lightly. His eyes seem to search yours for a moment, then an air of contemplation crosses his face and he takes a breath.

“Can you do basil?”

[mommymooze]

Flowers in Your Hair

Dimitri x reader

Coming from a coastal city of Faerghus, you are a very successful blacksmiths eldest daughter. Your parents finally give in to your nonstop requests to go to the academy. As shy as you are, they cannot believe you want to leave home and go out on your own. Somehow you feel the dream is worth it.

Classes begin and you are in the Blue Lions House being from their territory. Everyone seems to know each other, and they are all loud and boisterous. Annette and Mercedes take you under their wing and help you get settled in the new environment. Professor Byleth instructs everyone in class about the basics of combat, fighting and defense. She decides that you may have a talent in brawling, archery, and faith magic. You are certainly not very tall, most of the guys in this class tower over you, however you do have muscles.

You are terribly shy at first until you become more acquainted with the team. You tolerate Sylvain’s flirting, turning him down in the nicest way every single time. You actually make friends with Dedue working with him in the gardens. You help Annette learning faith magic by letting her work on your bruises from sparring and you also move barrels to safer locations all around the monastery so there is less for her to trip over. Baking with Mercedes is pure joy and everyone gets excited when they see the two of you headed for the kitchens. Ashe is your archery buddy and you tell each other stories while practicing. You’ve had many late night chats with Ingrid when she is frustrated about her goals of becoming a knight, encouraging her and telling her she is on the right path.

Your favorite person is Dimitri. He is a giant in your eyes. He is strong and polite and caring. Leading the Lions into battle with Dedue on one side and you on the other, the three friends are a force to be reckoned with. Even though he is the crown prince, he never acts like he is above anyone. You’ve never met a noble quite like him.

Sometimes the two of you will talk in the greenhouse while you work on the flowers and vegetables.

“Bend down a second Dimitri.” You ask him with a smile.

The tall man bends and watches as you place a blue flower just over his right ear.

You then hand him another flower, asking him to place yours for you. He blushes and as gently as he can, takes the stem of the flower to stick it over your right ear as well.

“Now we match.” You grin. “I wonder who thought of decorating people with flowers. I am glad they didn’t decide to do it with vegetables. I don’t think you’d be as cute if you had a green bean over your ear.”

Dimitri laughs. “I think you would still be cute, even if it was a carrot or a pea pod.”

“Next Garland Moon I will make you a crown of cherry tomatoes.” You snicker.

“Are you hungry? It is close to dinner and you’re talking a lot about food.” He asks.

“I’m finished here, so let’s head to the dining hall.” You reach out to grab his hand as he helps you from the ground.

You dust the dirt from your knees and head toward the door. Dimitri’s long legs carry him to the door just quickly enough that he can open it for you to pass through. Walking side by side to the dining hall your shoulder brushes with his arm and it makes him blush.

The dining hall is fairly full, but there is space at the Blue Lions table for both of you. Normally you sit on opposite sides so you can see Dimitri’s reactions to the conversations going on, today you have to sit next to him. Mercedes asks a question, and you turn to face her, your knee lightly touching his thigh and Dimitri drops his fork on his plate.

“We have flowers because we’re part of the cute club today! Want to join? I’ll go get everyone a flower.” You happily offer.

Mercedes laughs softly, “Oh, I don’t think any of us could compare to your cuteness right now.” Annette giggles in affirmation.

“You would all be adorable with flowers!” You declare loudly.

Sylvain grins, “I for one would love to see all of our lovely ladies wearing flowers.” Felix grunts in disapproval of everything Sylvain has to say as he stabs the meat on his plate.

Ashe perks up, “I remember a story I read once about how fair maidens would bestow flowers upon their braves knights before battles…” and continues to tell the story during the meal.

Everyone leaves to go their separate ways, Dimitri heads out to the lance workshop the Professor is teaching. You decide to go to the greenhouse to gather and distribute flowers to everyone in the Blue Lions. Sylvain is more than happy to let you place a flower on him and offers a kiss in return which you quickly decline. When you ask Dedue he kindly bows low so that you may gently place the flower over his ear. Annette, Mercedes and even Ingrid happily wear their flowers. You find Ashe in the library looking for the book he was talking about over dinner and he blushes as you place his flower for him. The only one left is Felix.

You head to the Knight’s Hall, however that is where Byleth is holding class. He’s not there, so you skedaddle to the training grounds. Felix is beating up on one of the knights. You ask him if he will let you place his flower. He refuses, of courswe.

“Spar with me. I win, you wear the flower.” You tease.

“Fine.” He grunts, raising his sword.

“Nope! Hand to hand!” You take your brawlers stance, knowing that he won’t refuse.

Felix tosses the sword and immediately runs at you, you bend low at the last moment grabbing his legs and throwing him over your shoulder. You wrestle with him for 30 minutes. His arms are tired and he’s sweating, but finally decides that you are indeed the winner. (You beat him the first time, so he said 2 out of 3, but when you won 3 of 3 he knew he lost.) You do a little victory shuffle and then place the flower behind his ear.

Heading to the Knights Hall the class is being dismissed. Dimitri is walking out with Dedue. You overly exaggerate a shocked look at Dimitri.

“What? Is something wrong?” Dimitri is looking left and right around him, having no idea what is going on.

“Your flower is gone! Dedue still has his!” You point out, and sure enough, his best friend is still proudly displaying his blossom.

“My apologies, I was so focused on training, I did not notice that it must have fallen.” Dimitri bows, begging your forgiveness. Dedue takes this as an opportune time to head toward his room, providing a bit of privacy to the both of you.

“You are so lucky that I have one bloom left.” You smile as your fingers beckon him to come closer and bend so you can reach. Carefully you brush some stray hairs behind his ear, then tuck the new flower behind his ear. You place a kiss next to the flower. “There, cute as a button.”

Dimitri blushes profusely as he is left speechless.

“I’m going to take a walk around for a bit. You know, enjoy the night air before the chill sets in. Want to come along?” You look at him hopefully.

“Um…Yes! Certainly! By all means!” His brain finally kicks back in and he offers an elbow. Taking his arm, you thread your hand through the crook and walk with him talking about things studied in class and other random things. You find yourselves on the bridge to the Cathedral just as the sun is setting.

“Wow. Those colors are amazing. I don’t think Ignatz could paint that many different shades of red, orange and yellow.” You sigh.

You both marvel at the colors as the sun slowly sinks into the horizon. The sun took its warmth when it left, and the chill of the night air begins to settle in. Dimitri walks you back to your room. You both hesitate at the threshold. You suddenly turn and throw your arms around him giving him a huge hug.

“That was pretty romantic for a first date!” You laugh as you quickly head in your room and close the door.

Dimitri stands and stares at the door for a moment, then turns towards his room, chuckling to himself.

[dangermousie]

Things I am loving so far:

1. Heroine likes to occasionally wander into an empty dungeon and rest since it’s the little bit of solitude and privacy she gets.

2.She is so fed up by being controlled and having no free will, she has gotten to thinking as long as she could get a few antidote pills, she’d leave because even a few months of freedom before she dies, would be worth it. She doesn’t want to tame demons and be at beck and call of valley master, she just wants to see the world. I honestly like that she’s a prisoner almost as much as all the demons are.

3. Man, she is def there for demon dick:

Ji Yunhe slowly stepped in. His head was hanging down and his waist length silver hair shielded half of his face. But even so, Ji Yunhe could not help but find this demon too beautiful. Excessively beautiful.

Heh.

Also, she is not fond of all the torture, especially because she (a) doesn’t think demons are just for enslavement and (b) she is a prisoner herself. So she fixes his tail. I love.

Ji Yunhe walked up to the cell and looked through the thick bars full of talismans. The jiaoren hung by his hands and his body was covered with wounds. Large iron hooks pierced through his clavicle, and the chains wrapped around his blue and white tail confined him from all movements. His blood dripped down, soaking the chains, and his face looked as pale as paper under the moonlight. Even though Ji Yunhe had been in the valley for many years and witnessed many gruesome scenes, she still could not help but feel chills right now. Along with the chills, she also felt a bit lost in his appearance. There were always some people or things in this world that could touch the heart, whether they were in bloom or in wilt.

Own your domme tendencies, lady! You are contemplating how beautiful a bloody, hooks through collarbones guy is. Oh, web novels are glorious!

4. I love that the author makes the parallels explicit.

The two pairs of eyes met, each one deep in thought. Ji Yunhe did not know what the jiaoren was thinking, but she had an eerie feeling that her current situation was very similar to his. Entrapment.

and

What was the difference between him and Ji Yunhe? Lin Haoqing and Lin Canglan, the former was defensive and suspicious of her and wanted to get rid of her, the latter used her in every way possible and could not squeeze enough blood out of her. If she were to escape from the valley, the poison in her body would activate, not to mention the entire world under royal power would regard her as a traitor. None of the four major demon master quarters would accept her again. Between the jiaoren and Ji Yunhe, one was a plaything under the power and one was a pawn. They were both prisoners.

Though I am not sure why she takes time out to notice how muscular his abdomen is. Girl, you are thirsty for that particular raw bar item!

5. This author likes torture like het Meatbun.

The lightning strikes that had disappeared briefly started up again. Black iron full of inscriptions flashed with blinding light, striking onto the jiaoren again and again. The demon hanging in the air seemed to have no more reaction to the pain. His muscles autonomously spasmed a bit then became still. His head hung low and his long silver hair scattered across his body in a bloody, sticky mess. Like a lifeless ragdoll. Ice blue eyes were now hidden behind his lids, no one could see any expression.

And then he manages to take down torturer dude anyway and everyone skedaddles, leaving the torture mechanism still turned on UMMMM I hope he drowns all you guys.

This novel is mad fun!

[kaylee-tam]

My Saileen Wedding Contribution: The Bachelorette Party

Eileen’s bachelorette party is something everyone swears to keep secret from Sam, just because it drives him insane and Eileen thinks its funny. Cas obviously tells Dean (because he can’t ever keep anything from his husband, like the cardigan incident) but Dean finds it hysterical how worked up Sammy gets so he won’t spill either. 

Eileen, Cas, Charlie, Rowena and Jo (because Eileen and Jo would have been besties and no one will convince me otherwise) start at a bar for the “pregame” but none of them know how to pace themselves and it devolves from there. Shots, arm wrestling, pool hustling, competitions to see who can pay for the least of their drinks (Charlie and Rowena tie).

Cas was banned from arm wrestling til an overly macho guy wouldn’t take no for an answer (any of them COULD have handled it but after he made the mistake of grabbing Charlie, they wordlessly agreed that murder was likely to dampen the mood and that this was a close second best) and suddenly the mans hand was smashed through the table and he is crying something about freaky blue eyes while the girls skedaddle out to a strip club, because fuck it, it is the bachelorette party.

Then not too much longer after that, they are skedaddling out of the strip club with a new lifelong ban for all 5 of them because who knew that its discouraged to get on stage and strip when it isn’t amateur night (Charlie is bemoaning the loss of access because they have a nerd night and she really likes to come watch Zelda dance).

They make their way back to the bunker and continue the party there. Eileen makes popcorn and they settle into the Dean Cave for a game of poker. Eileen and Jo end up in a faceoff (after Charlie and Cas and Rowena were all banned from playing for reasons ranging from *magic* to can’t stop wiggling her eyebrows at Jo and distracting her with innuendos while claiming that’s how she was taught to win (which is a reasonable defense since Dean taught her)) and Eileen ultimately wins the pot.

Eileen and Cas start trying to debate which movie to watch (Eileen wants Mean Girls and Cas wants Tombstone because hes “starting to feel something” and wants to wear his cowboy hat) until Eileen pulls the Bride card and Rowena says that trumps all. Jo and Charlie disappeared for a while during the argument and the twinkle in Rowena’s eye says she knows they were making out by the bathroom, but she says nothing when they reappear with Jo’s hair a mess and Charlie flushed from different directions and Cas and Eileen were too involved in their silent debate to notice.

They all flop down on the couch and floor and start the movie.  Charlie and Jo are reciting it line for line, Eileen is explaining to Cas that yes, this is where Dean got the saying “It’s not my fault you’re, like, in love with me or something” which explains why he always rolls his eyes when Cas responded with “Yes, I do love you Dean”. 

They all pass out where they are before “She doesn’t even go here”, with Charlie and Jo leaning on each other, Cas and Eileen splitting the couch and Rowena upright in the chair she claims is her throne.  They wake up to the smell of bacon and pancakes and stumble into the kitchen one by one to find Dean with a nice greasy breakfast to soak up the alcohol. He laughs at the state of them and plops Eileen down at the head of the table in front of a mug, full of piping hot coffee that says “Kiss Me I’m Irish” and has been modified with sharpie to say “and the Bride” after, and enough pancakes, hashbrowns, bacon and eggs to feed an army. “Left Sam with Jody to get ready this morning after I woke up to a few texts that suggested you all may appreciate a hangover helper buffet” he says by way of explanation as to why he was here, since the boys had been exiled from the building to get up to their own shenanigans after the bachelorette party rolled out in Eileen’s car last night. He gives her a quick hug with a peck on the cheek and promises to see his favorite future sister-in-law later to get rid of the future in that description. 

@gryffindorable713 @bend-me-shape-me

[kittystargen3]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13534569/1/Return-of-the-Survivors

Summary:  Alternate Universe- What if Anakin's mother survived and Anakin never went dark side. Padme has the twins on Tatooine and survives. Anakin tries to help the surviving Jedi, while still keeping his family secret. Meanwhile Darth Sidious has been crowned emperor and is going after the remaining Jedi. Rumors have it he's looking for a new apprentice. Anakin gets to be a daddy.

I’ve posted chapter 43 to Return of the Survivors.  Below is a small selection, please click a link to read more.  

Chapter 43 -The Rebel’s Honor

When his sister and brother got home today from training, they rushed to their rooms in an excited hurry.  This surprised Leo.  His day was a usual day training with his master, Kento Merek, and attending the usual lessons.  The fourteen year old didn’t know what would make the twins so excited.  

“Luk-” Leo’s voice was caught in his throat.  On the floor in his brother's room sat two bags and a pile of clothes the seventeen year old was quickly adding to.  “What’s going on?”

“LEIA! LEIA, DO YOU HAVE MY…” Luke ignored his brother and stood by his door shouting.  Leia walked past the door and wordlessly threw a bundle at him, interrupting his shouting.   “THANKS,” he yelled back.  Only then did Luke turn towards Leo, who stood there with a confused expression.  “We have a mission!” Luke announced in an excited voice.

“A mission? I haven’t heard of any mission.  Where are you going, Mos Eisley again?”  Leo’s lips formed a straight line and he folded his arms in front of his chest.

“Nope, we’re going to Nar Shaddaa,”  Leia returned to the door and answered.  

Leo looked back and forth between them in shock.  “The Smuggler’s Moon!”

“Yup, some Pirates ‘ve got an old Jedi droid there.  And we’re gonna go get it before the empire does,” Luke summarized.

“That sounds so cool!  Will I get to go?” Leo started to pack his own bag in his mind.  He couldn’t imagine having a cooler mission to go on.  

Leia folded her arms.  “No, you’re too young.  You’re staying here.  Sorry, kid.”  

Leo deflated.

“Our first strategy is to negotiate with the pirates to give the droid over.  There probably won’t even be any fights, or anything cool.” Luke attempted to downplay it when he saw his brother’s disappointment.  

“Besides, your master and Master Coleman are in charge of setting up a defense of Tatooine, just in case.  That means you and Ella-Reese will be working together ,” Leia hinted with an eyebrow waggle.  

Leo had to admit that if he couldn’t go on the coolest mission ever, working with Ella Reese was a cool substitute.  He just wished his sister didn’t make it sound like a… a thing.  Leo blushed as he skedaddled before his siblings’ teasing could follow.  

“So, do you think they’ll finally become an item?” Leia, arms folded, asked her brother.  

“I don’t know, but on a mission with both of their masters to keep an eye on them, it doesn’t seem likely,” Luke pointed out.

“Wanna bet?” Leia smiled at her brother.

***

When Leia first heard they were going to stop at a rebel base, she pictured something dirty.  Something with loud, drunk men all cahoodled around antiquated fire pits. When she and Master Yoda walked out into the base's hanger, she was surprised how clean and orderly the place looked.

“Greetings,” said a young lady who looked almost exactly as old as Leia.  She showed a bright smile and held out a hand for the Jedi Master to shake.  

Yoda looked at her like she was an ill-mannered child.  He turned around almost looking for an ‘adult’ he could talk to.  When he didn’t find anyone, he addressed her, “Greetings.  To speak with your command, we have come.  Us there now, you will take.”  Leia tried to stand obediently beside her Master, though the urge to look around in awe was almost too much.

“Yes, of course.  You know, we can go past the training rooms.  There’s nearly always someone interesting to watch.” She elbowed Leia, breaking her resolve and letting a smile show.  

Yoda, meanwhile, looked disapprovingly at them both.  “Time, we don’t have.  The direct route, you will take.”

“Oh, Okay,” the woman sighed.  Leia felt herself almost wanting to sigh with her.   “My name is Juno, Juno Eclipse.  It’s nice to meet you both.”

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: “The Enemy of Trust”

Welcome to the finale, folks! A quick fun fact for you all. Total length of RWBY Recaps Volume 7 is:

68,611 words, or 115 pages single spaced. Yeesh. No wonder I never got anything else done on Saturdays.

Overall thoughts on the finale? There are pieces embedded in this episode that I really liked. Meaning, all these conflicts and reveals could be seen as truly wonderful bits of storytelling... provided you ignore the horrible, messy context it’s all situated in. For example, I greatly enjoyed that fight with Neo... provided I ignore the stupidity that was the group keeping the relic in the first place. I love the idea of Penny becoming the Winter Maiden... it’s just too bad there wasn’t any setup for that in the form of Penny’s emotional growth, either by re-bonding with Ruby or by something amounting from that frame job. I adore that Ozpin is finally back!! ...So I guess I just have to ignore how he pretty much only existed as thematic exposition and that his bad treatment by the writers hangs over his return. It’s all very “Could have been good if the rest hadn’t been so astoundingly bad.”

First though, before the plot, I wanted to dip by toe into some of the questions we went into this volume with and some of the primary ones that sprung up along the way. Simple answers are attached.

Will the group’s dangerous attitude be addressed along with the introduced hypocrisy in regards to secret keeping? Ha! Not at all. Everything was thoroughly reinforced and last we saw the group---besides generic airship shots---they were triumphantly defeating Ironwood’s evil Ace Ops. So that’s that on that.

Will Ozpin come back and will there be reconciliation with the group? Yes! But also no! Why have a volume tackling with the biggest personal conflict the group has ever faced when you could instead just have another “Ozpin speaks a handful of words during a life-and-death situation”? Yes, yes he gets that massive monologue. We’ll get to that, but suffice to say it doesn’t exactly accomplish anything. Just hammers home how desperate I am to have his character back that I’ll take anything they’re willing to give me.

How will the group handle the death of Adam---one of the most significant deaths to date next to Pyrrha’s---and how will the reveal of his brand impact Weiss and her time at home? It won’t. Blake and Yang vaguely reference him once and that’s it. Apparently killing your abuser in self-defense creates no lasting trauma we should deal with and major reveals from villains straight up don’t matter.

What will the story do with their new character Maria? Uh, nothing. She exists off screen for the entire volume, only popping up in the last second to (maybe?) help Pietro get the scrolls working again. Oh, and she’s stolen another airship.

How will Qrow’s alcoholism continue to impact the group and how will he learn to start managing his addiction? No idea because that happened off screen. And then was presumably erased when Clover died.

Will the group ever discuss the hopelessness attached to their mission and come to the realization that their fight is worthwhile even though they can’t kill Salem? Sort of...? Because yeah they come to that realization but, again, it happens off screen. More significantly, it happens so well, apparently, that the group is now willing to feed Ironwood’s own false hope (like the fandom claims Ozpin did to them) and will be able to stand in front of Salem herself and announce that she’s totally beatable. And we’re going to risk a whole Kingdom on that came-out-of-nowhere confidence.

What does the Staff of Creation do and how will our characters potentially use it in their plans against Salem? We learn that the staff keeps Atlas afloat and it’s definitely a part of Ironwood’s plans, so there’s that.

How will Ruby continue to train and improve her Silver Eye powers? In the messiest and most contradictory manner possible. We’re shown twice in the last three episodes that she can’t get them to work and then suddenly they’re working again when the plot wants Cinder to skedaddle because there’s five minutes of the episode left. Like Qrow’s semblance, Ruby’s eyes are based on a switch that the writers turn on or off depending on their whim.

What will this volume tell us about Nora given all the hype surrounding the importance of her character this season? Nothing, really. All Nora does is solidify her relationship with Ren in a non-consenting manner and yell at Ironwood about Mantle while helping to orchestrate the city’s lack of resources. Even ignoring the issues inherent in these scenes, what we “learned” about Nora this volume is that she loves Ren, is protective of those who come from a similar background as she does, and will run to hug Oscar when given the chance. So...nothing. 

Now the reason I provided this long-ass introduction is so that a) we can remember what we actually hoped/expected the volume to accomplish now that we’ve reached the end (RWBY introduces so many things that viewers---myself included---outright forget that we were supposed to tackle certain plot points or character beats) and b) to demonstrate just some of the writing problems that are impacting this finale. This is what I mean when I say that this finale could have been really solid if not for... all of that. And “that” is just a small sampling of the issues we’ve built up over the last two years. 

But on to the actual plot.

We open on Jaune yelling, “Give up!” at Neo, which isn’t a heavy-handed reflection of the entire RWBYJNR group or anything. As said though, I did really enjoy the choreography of this fight. Oscar gets that excellent moment where he catches the relic with his cane, as well as when he grabs hold of Neo’s legs to keep her from fleeing. Jaune manages to protect them with two different kinds of shields now embedded in his shield. It’s a shield-shield. And Neo herself is always a joy to watch, demonstrating so much personality as she teases her way through each attack. I was thinking throughout this scene that I’d love to see her and Tyrian fighting together. That would be an excellent blend of insane/arrogant enjoyment.

The problem is that Neo is just having such an easy time of it. Which, I should be clear, is what I wanted based on the logic of the situation. Neo should be able to kick their asses with relative ease. The only reason why this is an issue is because it severely complicates what we saw last episode. How was Oscar able to survive her attack for however long? How was he able to land such a solid punch when now Ren and Nora fly at her with the same kind of obviousness and Neo deflects them with ease? I’m thrilled that the finale gave us such a long moment with Oscar, but the series as a whole still has a problem with relegating most of his development off screen. Seeing the comparatively vulnerable farm boy face off against one of our strongest villains should have been a focus last episode, not something that happens in the ether of, “Well I guess all that worked out somehow despite Neo kicking their asses here.” It’s an issue of consistency and convenience primarily. The show seems to have the characters on a very malleable power scale nowadays. Oscar isn’t strong enough to help with the geist, but he’s strong enough to land the first solid hit on Neo. Team RWBY is strong enough to take out the most elite group of huntsmen in Atlas, but Team JNR isn’t strong enough to take out a single villain four to one. It makes it harder to invest in anyone or anything because we’re always on shaky ground. The viewers never know when the writing will obey the rules it has set up or chuck them away on a whim.

The fight is interrupted though when the guards spot them. Did Ruby mention that they were being arrested in her announcement? Did Ironwood announce that before or after Ruby called? I honestly can’t remember and right now I’m too lazy to check. I was just a little surprised that Jaune immediately knew to run from the guards, rather than going, “Hey, crazy woman attacking us please help.” But eh, I’m happy enough to chalk that up to either my own shaky memory or a small connection lost. RWBY has way bigger problems than details like, “How did so-and-so know about such-and-such?” Not unless that information holds way more weight.

So they flee and we actually get to see some reaction to fighting for once. Oscar in particular is clearly exhausted and his clothes are done-in from the battle. Later, while hiding in the training room, all four of them will be leaning against the wall, heaving after facing Neo. Again, this is good. This is how newly-minted huntsmen should be reacting to fighting people way beyond their skill level. It’s only a problem when we compare these details to what we got last week with Team RWBY. Showing JNOR’s exhaustion from a quick bout with Neo no way aligns with RWBY’s perky, totally fine, no auras broken and no tiredness characterization after facing off against four Ace Ops for a significantly longer period.

So there’s some serious plot armor at work there. It became even more clear this episode that Team RWBY won because Team RWBY always gets what they want, not because it makes any sense in-world. But we’ll have to deal with any other consequences of that next volume because they’re barely in the rest of this episode. Instead, we return to the Winter, Penny, and Cinder fight where Cinder casually tosses Penny aside with her grimm arm. She’s briefly held back by Winter’s summoned birds, but that’s hardly going to faze her in the grand scheme of things. In fact, Cinder still has enough energy and confidence to start some philosophizing while she fights. She tells Winter that she may think “hoarding power means you’ll keep it forever, but it just makes the rest of us hungrier.” Self-fulfilling words from the woman hell-bent on acquiring and hoarding all the Maiden powers? As absurd as Cinder’s beliefs are, that “And I refuse to starve” line was pretty badass. On the whole I think she’s a boring villain, but every once in a blue moon Cinder will have a cool moment before she becomes irrelevant again.

The fight continues as Penny returns to the fray and it sounded to me that she was making more noise during this fight than normal. Granted, we’ve rarely seen Penny engage in an all-out brawl that lasts for more than a few seconds, but the additions certainly help with where she’s heading this episode. Particularly moments such as when they’re outside and Cinder’s sword blows up in Penny’s face, causing her to outright scream. It’s a very human sound, setting up the reveal that yes, an android is human enough to take on the Maiden powers. And if you go by some fan theories, “woman enough” (for lack of a better term) given that her aura is a man’s, Pietro’s. Penny is a girl regardless of starting out with male aura, leading to some wonderful and interesting takes on her as a trans character. Now I’m not giving that praise to Rooster Teeth---this isn’t them giving us representation---rather, I’m praising the fandom’s ingenuity and ability to adopt characters into their own communities. You don’t need “evidence” to headcanon transness, but having a girl born of a man’s aura go on to acquire woman-only power can definitely help. 

Granted, Penny’s vocalizing here is just a tiny detail that I’m choosing to apply positively to an outcome. I nevertheless stand by my early belief that Penny simply didn’t have the development needed to land her in the Maiden position. Having her grapple with her own death, Ruby her resurrection, and the loss of Mantle’s support would have achieved that. It’s clear now why Rooster Teeth brought her back, but that doesn’t mean they’ve treated her character well for the last twelve episodes. Instead, in true RWBY fashion, a lot was introduced with no followup.

As said though, they take things outside to give us a decently cool battle between three characters who can fly. While in the air though Winter’s aura is broken and she starts to plummet. Obviously Penny catches her, to which Winter replies, “What are you doing? My life doesn’t matter!”

Sometimes I wonder if Rooster Teeth bothers to think about the dialogue they put in characters’ mouths. I mean seriously? Winter is not stupid. Nor is she so hard that---as the episode hammers home---she wouldn’t experience fear. So:

Anyone is going to be happy about being caught from a 100% deadly fall. In a situation like this survival instinct trumps responsibility. Even if it didn’t “responsibility” doesn’t make any sense here because:

They’re not giving up on the Maiden. Penny isn’t making a decision here that requires forever and always choosing Winter over Fria. They’re gonna turn right around and continue the fight

Seriously, it takes a few seconds to catch her. This isn’t that big a deal

The fight thus far has clearly proven that they need all the help they can get. Penny can’t take Cinder on her own and indeed, even with her aura broken Winter manages to be incalculably helpful

Fria still has her powers, which she’s about to demonstrate. Does Winter really not realize that Fria is still pretty capable of defending herself?

In short, this line is stupid. More than just stupid it’s twisting a character to get them to fit with the volume’s badly imposed theme. Oh look Winter cares sooooo much about her orders that she would needlessly die for them. Penny must teach her the value of her own life and how “blindly” obeying Ironwood is a big, bad thing. Come on. Lines like these---Harriet claiming the Ace Ops aren’t friends even though they clearly are, Qrow blaming Ironwood for Clover’s death when he’s not even there, Yang sniping at Elm about how she can’t think for herself---only serve to say Protagonists Good; Ironwood Bad. Rooster Teeth really loves to introduce justified and sympathetic characters, only to have other characters go OOC to backtrack on that verbally. Ignore what you’ve seen and just believe the nonsense words that never would have come out of this character’s mouth otherwise. And yes, that includes Yang and her comment to Elm. She is by far the most loyal character, considering that she’s canonically done things she did not want (following Ozpin) purely because Ruby was doing it. If the story had any sense embedded in it Yang would be the one who understood where the Ace Ops were coming from in their devotion to Ironwood, or at the very least the narrative would call her out on her hypocricy. As it is, the story functions around the “fact” that following Ruby is just intrinsically good. No matter what Ruby herself might do and how it does or does not compare to others’ actions. She’s the hero, always. In the same way, having Winter spout such a nonsense line works only to say, “See? Following Ironwood destroys all your self-wroth. Following Ruby? Like Penny does? You learn the value of friendship!” Never-mind that the first thing Ironwood does this episode is congratulate and apologize to Winter when he thinks he’s coming down into the vault...

Enjoyable pieces aside, I’m obviously still salty, but we’ll get to Ironwood in a minute. For now, Oscar is seriously dragging behind JNR and manages to get separated. He’s hidden from the guards by “Nora” who is, obviously Neo. Within the span of a second she’s gotten the relic and will keep it until she hands it over to Cinder.

Congratulations, team! Not only did you allow Ironwood to harm Mantle for weeks on end when you knew his plan was doomed to fail, you’ve also lost the relic you came to secure in the first place, thoroughly betrayed the one powerful ally you had in this war (just like you did Ozpin), have destroyed any hope of escape as---surprise!---Salem actually showed up, and you took out the one elite team who might have helped you fight her. Oh, and Qrow, you got arrested in the end anyway so congrats on getting your friend killed along the way. Seriously, how does anyone---how does the narrative---insist that these people are heroes? At this point this is a story about fallen heroes, but rather than emphasizing precisely how badly the group has screwed up the last two volumes and taking them on a journey back from the brink, they’re still being painted in a perfect light.

So... yeah. Relic is gone. Which we all saw coming the second Ruby happily agreed to keep holding onto it, then got protective when Ironwood mentioned taking it back. Loyalty aside, you cannot possibly think the relic is safer on your or Oscar’s belt than it is in a freaking magical vault. The group should be denied the title of “heroes” for their stupidity and arrogance alone. Especially when they never bothered to tell Ironwood that there was still a question left. That might have changed his mind about letting them carry it around. 

Thus, relic in hand, Neo makes easy work of the rest of the team. Most notably by keeping Nora’s face and giving Ren sad eyes when he tries to strike her. This is a really good moment of visual storytelling and more how RWBY should be using their fights to do double-duty and develop characterization. Neo’s trick not only demonstrates her cruel skills, but tells us precisely how deeply Ren cares for Nora. Even knowing that’s not her he hesitates. Then, obviously, we’ve got the tears as the team runs off. So obviously things are still eating at him and their relationship is a big part of that... which just makes me all the more frustrated that the story passed over his fears at the party. I really don’t care how eager everyone (myself included) was to finally get a renora kiss. We never should have seen Nora ignoring those problems and insisting on moving the relationship forward in a way he clearly wasn’t ready for yet. Ren’s words told us that, as does his grief now. Everyone was wondering if ignoring his anxiety would come to a head in the form of Ren siding with Ironwood, but we didn’t get the chance to find that out this volume. Which, I get it. RWBY doesn’t have a lot of time, but that’s precisely the problem. Tiny tid-bits are dropped and then ignored for weeks, if not years on end. That moment between Ren and Neo was excellently crafted and told us a lot about both, but ultimately it’s just another moment cast adrift from everything else. Who knows if this plot-line will actually continue in Volume 8’s premier, if at all.

So Neo wanders off in an Atlas disguise and hands the relic off to Cinder. What’s Cinder going to do with the relic precisely? Not sure. Gonna have to wait on that one. We do have some decent setup for Neo’s betrayal though. She not only looked pissed at Cinder just snatching the prize, but sad about it too. Neo has always been driven by her own, messed up love, notably for Roman. Now that he’s gone it seems like she was looking for someone else to latch onto. Now that Cinder has proven that Neo is only a tool to her, she’d better watch her back.

Returning to Fria. She, as said, still has a lot of kick in her and easily pushes Cinder back. “That’s the power of a fully realized Maiden,” Winter says as crazy power shoots into the sky. Again, good setup... if I believed RWBY was capable of following up on anything. Remember at the beginning of the volume when Harriet dropped setup on Ruby’s semblance? Yeah, nothing came of that either. And though it still might, again, when? I know I use this example a lot, but you can’t introduce Raven speaking with Tai, drop that for three years (or longer), and then pick it back up like that’s still a relevant thread to follow. By having Winter proclaim that this is a “fully realized” power we imply that others, such as Cinder, may be able to become more powerful as well, but there’s little faith on the viewer’s part that such a line will actually amount to anything. Or if it does, it will happen so far in the future that most viewers will have forgotten about it.

For now though Fria is super-duper powerful. Cinder and Winter can’t even get near her. So it’s up to Penny, the one person not made of flesh and blood, to get the job done. I like that. Great use of difference as a strength. So she dives in and gets Fria to calm down, reigning her power back in. They discuss transferring the power and when Penny tries to remind her of the consequences we get, “I’ll be gone. I know I have a hard time remembering, but I remember that.” Hey. Hey, hey. I want the entire fandom to pay attention to this line because a lot of you still have a tendency to erase agency so as to more easily pin the blame on characters you don’t like. Pyrrha didn’t choose to fight Cinder against Ozpin’s orders, Ozpin killed her! Qrow didn’t choose to fight Clover and team up with Tyrian, Ironwood killed Clover! The Ace Ops didn’t choose to be loyal and maintain the responsibility they swore as military huntsmen, Ironwood just brainwashed them into being obedient puppets! Here, we get another glorious reminder that yes, these characters can actually think and act for themselves. Even the characters with dementia. Asking someone to do the hard thing (Pyrrha) is not in any way comparable to making them. It’s crystal clear from Fria’s line here that Ironwood spoke to her about the situation. He, like Ozpin, was upfront about the consequences. She in turn decided to accept this duty. Yes, I know I’ll die. I’ve accepted that. I have a job to do and I intend to complete it.

So yeah, #stop-taking-away-one-character’s-agency-just-because-you-don’t-like-another-2020.

Penny is thus faced with a glaring responsibility of her own: will she take on the Maiden powers? Because Fria may remember her job, but not who else was supposed to complete the job with her. Was it you? Penny, meanwhile, is looking at all that ice and wondering if Winter can even get here in time. It may well only be her... unless they want it to be Cinder.

As she thinks through this decision we return to JNR. Ren has a brief freak-out about how “We weren’t ready to become huntsmen” but instead of a truthful statement about their maturity and skill levels, the story twists it into a false statement by having Ren start yelling at Nora and placing unnecessary blame. We’re not supposed to believe him here because he’s irrational and lashing out... even though I think “We weren’t ready to become huntsmen” is a 100% truthful statement. The last two volumes have proven to me, if no one else, that having a job with that much power and responsibility isn’t just about whether you can swing your scythe really well. It’s about having the emotional fortitude and, as said, majority to treat it as a job and put that responsibility ahead of your own desires. RWBYJNR has consistently demonstrated that they’re unwilling to do that. It’s their way or the highway, damn promises, responsibility, loyalty, or consequences.

Before things can really break in the group though more soldiers show up and as they’re hiding behind Jaune’s shield he realizes that Oscar is missing. Over the comms Oscar says that he has something he needs to do alone, heading for the vault. I really appreciate this moment because Oscar is the one person in this group who has actually extended some of the unity and sympathy that RWBYJNR keeps yelling that everyone needs to give to them first. He apologizes to Ironwood whereas Yang sticks her nose in the air and insists she did nothing wrong. He approaches Ironwood and asks to find a way forward together while Ruby yells that Harriet has to do what she wants or no, I won’t stop attacking you. We get that moment where Ironwood thinks it’s Winter descending and goes, “I know that must have been hard for you. I’m so sorry,” demonstrating his own care and compassion. We see Oscar embodying Ozpin in his folded hands, use of the cane, and harder eyes, despite the fact that it’s still him in control. 

He has a piece of that maturity the rest of his team lacks. He’s open, Ironwood is open, they’re poised to do what the others around them can’t...

Too bad it all goes to total shit.

You know, I feel like I should be more mad about this but at this point I’m just kind of numb. Why in the world would I be surprised that Rooster Teeth would erase all the work above to turn Ironwood into a generic villain? They did it before, or did I suddenly forget the twenty-minutes that humanized Ozpin only to be followed with two volumes of bashing him non-stop? I knew Ironwood was going to get screwed, I just didn’t think they’d go so far as to do it like this. And shame on me because I should have.

There are times when things happen on screen... but by god it isn’t canon. Because it’s just too stupid to be canon. It’s so horrifically out of character that the only explanation is that this is an impersonator and the writers just forgot to tell us that along the way. Because James Ironwood would never kill a child. Or hell, maybe he would, but it would have to be under RADICALLY different circumstances from these. People realize right that this is so beyond out of character as to be laughable, right? We get:

A man who has devoted himself to fighting the biggest evil his world has ever seen

Learning the importance of care over brute strength, adopting Ozpin’s lessons by giving Mantle Penny

Has spent the last year trying desperately to keep all his people safe, making the hard calls in order to achieve that

Was beyond delighted when the group first appeared, kneeling down before Oscar and hugging Qrow

Has frequently asked after Ozpin throughout the volume, demonstrating a strong desire for him to return

Immediately forgave the group even after learning about Salem’s immortality, still pushing forward with them

Just sacrificed his arm in an effort to continue protecting those around him

Finally realized he didn’t have allies in this team and called only for their arrest, not any violence or mistreatment

Hired the Ace Ops, a group whose conflict was their need to perform that arrest pushing against their desire not to hurt anyone

Ironwood just began the scene by extending sympathy and apologies to another

And you’re going to tell me that this man, this man defined by his compassion and desperate need to protect others... is going to shoot the 14yo kid housing one of his oldest friends? Shoot to kill?

Because make no mistake, that was a killing shot. Ironwood knew Oscar was at the edge. Even if it hadn’t broken Oscar’s aura, that fall isn’t anything you can survive without Humanity 1.0 magic---magic Ironwood clearly wasn’t counting on to save him. They literally took this man and erased EVERYTHING that made him-him, deciding that randomly Ironwood kills kids now because he dislikes a conversation. Kills Ozpin too. It makes zero sense... but you know all precisely why they did it. Because Ironwood is the villain now. He dared disagree with Team RWBY and now that he’s an antagonist they had to make sure he did something he couldn’t come back from. You don’t try to kill the youngest of the group and then come back into the fold. Ironwood is finished. He’s either going to die next volume or the group is going to lock him behind bars as a “witty” parallel of him trying to arrest them, dropping a one-liner about how they’re sorry it came to this.

Which, obviously, I absolutely despise. The rest of the episode? Had a lot going for it. Cool and interesting developments that might have been great if not attached to the horror show of the last twenty-five episodes... but still cool and interesting nonetheless. This? This is the worst thing RWBY has done to date because they not only irrevocably messed up one of their best characters, but they did so in a way that highlights everything that has been wrong with the show the last two years. There was no buildup to this. None. Don’t @ me with “But Ironwood is unstable and the Tin Man has no heart.” No and also no. Rooster Teeth simply decided that they wanted him as a villain and made that happen in the span of a few seconds. It’s just as absurd and insulting as if, last volume while angry at Qrow, Ruby had picked up her scythe and cut through Weiss as a form of anger management. Ironwood aiming to kill the kid he’s been bonding with all volume and Ozpin to boot because they’re having a slightly heated conversation is insane. 

Which isn’t to say that conversation itself helped matters. Because Ironwood remains right. Those are all pretty, philosophical questions, Oscar, but what are we going to do about our situation? Oscar might express more sympathy then Team RWBY, but he’s just as naive and dangerously stubborn. He doesn’t have a plan either, just a continuing insistence that they try. In fact, his arguments are really... nonsensical in places? He says that if Ironwood abandons Mantle they’ll lose hope of uniting the whole world, even though we’ve never established why that’s still a goal when a world-wide army can’t defeat Salem. He likewise makes the absurd claim that because Ironwood is thinking about the big picture “Then you’re as dangerous as she is, James.”

No??

If RWBY is going to incorporate philosophy and moral conundrums into their writing then they actually need to do the work to think them through. Because sorry but the man making a currently still necessary sacrifice in order to keep the world as a whole safe is not the same thing as the genocidal grimm queen hell-bent on destroying it. Again, do they think about the words they’re putting into the characters’ mouths? The worst is how many viewers just eat it up. Because Good Boy Oscar said something vaguely wise-sounding then it must be true...never-mind the absurdity of the statement itself. I love Oscar to bits, just not when the writing uses him as a prop to promote these absurd themes. Not to keep dragging Witcher into every possible part of my life, but it immediately reminded me of this quote from Geralt. “You wizards are all the same...

Just because Oscar says it with confidence doesn’t mean it makes any sense.

Which is where we end up. Oscar falling, Ozpin arriving, the two of them managing to survive the fall. I have to admit that at this point Ozpin’s return just felt damn underwhelming to me. Like yes, of course I’m thrilled he’s back, but watching them mangle James like that just kicked all the enjoyment out of the rest of the episode. That, combined with the fact that Ozpin’s return actually was pretty lackluster. I mean, I feel like a shit for complaining about the thing I’ve wanted since the beginning of Volume 6... but is that really all we get? Ozpin doesn’t save him, Oscar saves them both, because he apparently has complete access to the magic and memories now. What does Ozpin matter then? Ozpin doesn’t speak really, just says Oscar’s name and is then cut off because Oscar doesn’t want to hear anything he has to say unless it’s about saving Atlas. He does express something like gratitude though--- “You’re back, aren’t you? You saved me”---so that’s more than we’ve gotten from anyone else. And Ozpin does narrate... but who is that to? Obviously very reminiscent of our series’ premier, but is he speaking to Salem again? We’re not told---or shown---and as it is that monologue exists purely for the audience. It’s a speech we could have gotten from any character and just happened to get it from Ozpin. It’s not being spoken to Oscar and therefore not forwarding any of the relationships that still need to be mended. In fact, this could well be a speech Ozpin gave years ago, disconnected from who he is now. Perhaps the biggest issue is that the speech is all about fear, further hammering home the finale’s BS stance that Ironwood being afraid of actual, legitimate threats made him into an unhinged child-killer.

Because his “paranoia”? It’s about this. This is what Ironwood was afraid of.

And oh look it’s here.

So yeah... I just can’t fall in love with this moment as I feel I should. RWBY has burned me too many times lately---the last time seconds before this scene---and frankly now that Ozpin is back I don’t trust them to treat his character well. So his return is automatically laced with more worry than excitement to see what comes next. Because if they do this to Ironwood, somehow who has done nothing but try to help this whole volume, what the hell are they going to do to Ozpin, someone who actually lied to and kept secrets from the precious team? I want him back, but not while we’ve got these themes going. I’m legit worried about how the group will react to his return and what the narrative is going to make Ozpin do as penance for his supposed sins. I’m not really thrilled about the prospect of watching more assault that’s painted as heroic justice. Normally I’d be going, “Well you never know, RWBY could prove me wrong...” except that after Ironwood? I really don’t think it will. Because Ozpin may ask, “Will you forgive them? Will you understand why they felt the need to do the things they did?” but it’s “staring back at you is the very thing you should have feared from the start” is what we get when Ironwood is shown again when he’s told Winter doesn’t have the power, he can’t open the vault, and he has no way of escaping this army. Rather than painting this as a tragedy that’s on our “heroes,” Ironwood is just made to look deranged. The story doesn’t encourage us to forgive him, no matter Ozpin’s words. 

The scne was pretty though! lol. Stunningly gorgeous, really. If I just turn my brain off and don’t think about everything surrounding Oscar falling while Ozpin re-joins him, it’s an absolutely fantastic scene...

Yeah, the rest of the episode is mostly things I’ve already covered. Maria picks everyone up in their “getaway ship” because her character apparently only exists now to provide comic relief in the form of illegal actions. 

Penny takes on the Maiden powers while Winter holds Cinder off with no aura. That was badass as hell.  Go Winter, you’re still one of my faves this volume.

Ruby conveniently uses her silver eyes even though they’ve failed twice in the last three to four episodes. 

Qrow is arrested and holds onto Clover’s blood-stained badge. 

Robyn is apparently just fine. 

Watts is potentially getting freed by Tyrian, or else was just distracted by the arrival of Salem, I honestly wasn’t sure. 

The only other thing of consequence is that Winter and Weiss acknowledge that they’re on different paths. They can’t support one another in who they’re loyal to, but Winter will still give her sister a head start.

Oh, that moment and this, of course.

I’ve already spoken about my very iffy feelings about introducing Salem as an actual enemy before the final volume and those feelings are compounded by this absurd denouncement of hard, practical choices. I mean... seriously. What is the group going to do at the start of next volume? “These readings can’t be right,” an Atlas soldier says, horrified at the number of grimm that are appearing around them from an ominous red cloud. That entire army we saw at the end of Volume 6. Plus a giant whale grimm that could easily swallow any of our heroes (Pinocchio reference, anyone?), plus the immortal sorceress who could do any number of things to obliterate you---and take all the time in the world to do it. Like... they’re screwed. They are dead and Ironwood was 100% right to try and take whoever he could to safety and regroup. Except that obviously the series doesn’t end in tragedy here so they’ll wiggle their way out of things somehow. It just won’t be satisfying. Because we absolutely have a hopeless situation here and the story hasn’t allowed the group to acknowledge and then try to circumvent that in any practical manner. Ruby’s silver eyes will inexplicably get crazy powerful. Or Salem will randomly decide to leave. Or they’ll discover some new and untapped skill through the power of friendship. Then, at the end of it all, we’ll be told to look back at Ironwood and call him crazy for trying to save lives with a realistic approach because see? We managed a miracle after all.

I can’t believe I’m going to watch that nonsense. But I will. Because RWBY was a show that I loved and some small part of me still hopes it’ll return to what it once was. At the very least I need to find out what happens to these characters---no matter how stupid and insulting---and this episode, despite all my expectations, did give me tiny glimmers into what RWBY used to be. Moments that were fun or badass or legitimately touching. I almost wish it wouldn’t, just so I could make a clean break with the show. Absolute trash is better than trash that demonstrates skill just enough to make you think there might be hope for a better written story the next time around. Ah well. At least writing the recaps is always fun!

So I’ll still be here, answering asks and chucking out nonsense. Feel free to come join me if you’re ever inclined.  

Until next volume 💜

[shirtlesssammy]

8x01: We Need to Talk About Kevin

Then:

P U R G A T O R Y

Now:

100-Mile Wilderness, Maine

1 Year Later

A couple is sleeping peacefully in the forest when a bright light fills the sky, waking the woman.

The couple goes out to investigate when they hear rustling outside. It’s a deer! Close...it’s Dean! He’s looking more like a feral rat than a deer. I would not want to run into someone looking like Dean in the middle of nowhere, that’s for sure. He pulls his gun, asks where the road is, grabs a bag of their stuff, and skedaddles. Yikes. First, for anyone not caught up, let’s all collectively scream what we all thought on our first viewing: Where’s Cas??! Second, who the fuck hikes anywhere, let alone the 100 Mile Wilderness trail with that kind of gear?! Camp chairs? A lantern the size of a dining room chandelier? A tent that’s making Harry Potter quake? Anyway, I lol thinking this is the most unbelievable part of this scene, and not the dude who just got back from Purgatory. 

Clayton, Louisiana

4 Days Later

Cue up Styx “Man in the Wilderness”, and sit back and watch one of my favorite montages. Watching Dean walk down a road never gets old. He walks to a cemetery and digs up a grave. He chants an incantation over some bones, and voilà, he brings back to life a vampire! They embrace.

Wait, what? 

In Kermit, Texas, Sam’s ditching on a woman AND a dog. He drives to Rufus’s cabin in Montana, where a hiding Dean assaults him with all the monster tests. They both pass, and hug. Sam is shocked. “I guess standing too close to exploding dick, sends your ass straight to Purgatory.” Dean explains the situation with the first dick joke of the season. Sam has further questions, and Dean is vague on the details. Sam also wonders about Cas. Dean shuts down a little more and admits, “Yeah, Cas didn’t make it.” 

Sam presses the matter. “Something happened to him down there. Things got pretty hairy towards the end, and he... just let go,” Dean adds. So, he admits that Cas let go here, did he alter his memory after this? In any event, Dean’s really broken about it. 

Sam then admits that he got out of the life, tossed all his phones, etc. “Something happened to me this year, too.” Gah, like a complete breakdown and fugue state, but I will reserve my thoughts for my non-existent essay on the state of Sam’s mind when Dean and Cas were in Purgatory. That sends Dean into an anger spiral. (Natasha: LIMES)

He listens to all of Sam’s phone messages --the increasingly desperate and eventually disillusioned pleas for help from Kevin. 

He was their responsibility, and Sam just ditched him. Uh, because he was in complete mental failure! Sam hears something in the background of the last message and is able to isolate the sound to a bus station. They track him to Michigan, where his girlfriend, Channing, is attending college. 

Once at the motel, Dean sees two boys playing with their toy guns, which sends him into a memory spiral. He’s chasing a vamp in Purgatory and eventually catches him. “Where’s the angel?”

WhEreS tHe aNgEl?

W H E R E ‘ S  T H E  A N G E L?

??

?

(Don’t touch me.)

“You’re him. The human.” 

Like, excuse me? The monsters are all meeting up talking about the human wandering around Purgatory looking for that angel? LIKE PLEASE. No, please STOp. I can’t take it, even after all these years. 

Anyway, Dean keeps demanding to know where that goddamned angel is. The vamp refuses to say so Mr. Dramatic lops his head off set to a very elegant camera angle. 

Another monster attacks but Dean’s too far from his machete. Then ANOTHER monster attacks THAT monster. Spoiler: IT’S BENNY! 

Later, in the motel, Dean suggests moving on, but Sam thinks he should get some rest. Dean goes into another anger spiral --probably because he couldn’t sleep for a year and all Sam did was sleep due to his complete breakdown. Sam trying to ignore that he didn’t have control of his world isn’t helping him with Dean. Sam found “a girl.” Well, actually, she was a fully grown woman, but go on… Listen, I don't like the Amelia stuff as much as the next person, so I have a very elaborate headcanon of Sam’s mental break and the symbolic fantasy world he created while he barely existed at the cabin. 

Anyway, Sam asks Dean what Purgatory was like. “It was bloody. Messy. 31 flavors of bottom-dwelling nasties. Hell, most days felt like 360-degree combat. But there was something about being there.”

“It felt pure.”

It fElT PuRe

I T  F E L T  P U R E

Flashback to Purgatory, where Dean’s life is still saved by Benny, the vampire. Dean threatens to shiv him up the ass so...every friendship needs to start somewhere? The vampire knows an escape hatch out of Purgatory! But it’s only for humans. He’ll show him the portal as long as Dean smuggles his soul out of Purgatory. 

The first rule of Purgatory is you can’t trust anyone. Dean doesn’t trust Benny - not an inch. But he does need allies. He tells Benny that he’ll agree to that tenuous deal as long as they find “the angel” first.

At a college, the Winchesters interview Channing. She hasn’t heard a word from Kevin and furthermore, would spurn his love forever now that he’s no longer going to Princeton. Ouch! After they leave, Channing’s eyes go black and she slices her roommate's throat so she can make a phone call. DOUBLE OUCH! She reports that Kevin still hasn’t gotten in touch with her, but Dean Winchester is back.

Trying to get some work done amongst the students, Sam experiences his own mournful flashback. He hit a dog! He shouted at veterinary hospital employees! Damn it, this is an animal hospital!!! I hand you a bloody dog, you fix! Shouting helps things happen! 

Sam bby.

Dean arrives with a burger in hand, reunited with one of the loves of his life at least. Sam reports that he’s tracked Kevin to Iowa.

At a run down church in Iowa, the Winchesters pay a house call. Kevin immediately confronts them with a Borax-loaded supersoaker. Once he figures out they’re human, Kevin gives them the tour of his new digs. He’s learned how to ward against demons. And then while explaining his recent past, Kevin has his own flashback! Everyone gets one! 

In Kevin’s flashback, he’s been captured by Crowley who sits him down to work on another tablet. A DEMON tablet! Dun dun DUN! Kevin mines its secrets and tells Crowley that there’s a hell gate in Wisconsin. (Made out of cheese?) Demons gather ingredients for him and Kevin gets to have a MONTAGE of preparing a spell to open the gate. Only…

...Kevin was hoodwinking the demons the whole time. 

He’d found a demon bomb recipe and blasts away his guards while Crowley waits on a distant Wisconsin farm. 

Back in the present, Kevin’s stowed the tablet somewhere safe but before he did that, he made sure to memorize one more important spell from the tablet: a spell to close the gates of Hell...FOREVER. 

Dean and Sam head outside to the...second story church deck?...to chat. Sam’s disappointed that Kevin seems further into the hunting life than before. Dean’s proud of the kid - “he’s in it whether he likes it or not.” Oof. Dean, your Winchester is showing.

Sam heads down to the candle-lit church. He apologizes to Kevin for bugging out on him - and on everything hunting related. It’s definitely staged like a confession.

Kevin admits that he’s perturbed when he really stops and thinks about his life, post-prophet-revelation. Sam assures him that “it gets better.” Hmm RLY? Sam’s an optimist, and continues: if they can banish all the demons, Kevin might actually be free to live a good life. BRB weeping and shouting angrily at this show!

In Sam’s hazy flashback, he waits anxiously for the news from the vet. She reports that his dog will be okay. Sam corrects her - the dog isn’t his! She double barrel blasts him with sarcasm, implying that if he doesn’t take care of the dog he hit then he’s the worst person in the world. Which. Okay. I generally don’t mind Amelia though I think she demonstrably has terrible luck picking stable, healthy relationships. But this scene always has me rolling my eyes. It’s so normal to foist a dog on a stranger! Everyone has the means and time to care for a dog, not to mention a dog who has been seriously injured! A vet would not do this! Amelia, plz. 

Amelia puppy dog eyes Sam, and he’s toast. He’s spent so many years working on his offensive puppy eyed tactics, he never thought to work on his defense!

The church begins to shake and wood splits apart Kevin’s devil’s traps. A couple of demons arrive, armed with more swagger than weaponry. There’s a zappy flashy kicky fight and then Crowley and Channing arrive. Crowley demands the tablet for Channing’s life. He flashes Channing back into control for a moment as proof of life. Kevin offers himself up in exchange for Channing’s freedom and heads off to “pack up.” Then Kevin lures Crowley and Channing to a holy water trap.

As they’re being doused, the Winchesters and Kevin escape. While they drive away, Crowley orders the demon out of Channing and then kills her. Oof. 

Later, Dean gets a phone call as they stop for gas and snacks, and then passes it off as a wrong number. Kevin passes on donuts and beef jerky. He just saw his girlfriend die and that doesn’t lend itself well to gas station snacks. 

Dean offers up words of Winchester Solace™. “You’re in it now. Whether you like it or not you do what you gotta do.” Good talk, Dean! 

On Dean’s pee break, he furtively places a phone call. It’s Benny, the vampire from earlier! He’s lurking on the edges of a funeral in a not-at-all-suspicious way. He figured out cell phones! But not fashion.

Dean tells him that they shouldn’t talk for a while since they’re both adjusting to life. Benny wistfully tells Dean that Purgatory WAS pure and he should have appreciated it more while he was there. They both admonish each other to be good (and presumably not go on a murderous rampage). Good talk!

WHERE’RE THE QUOTES?

We made it, brother

I don't know whether to give you a hug or take a shower

Nothing says "family" quite like the whole family being dead

Where’s the angel?

Hey, the rules are simple, Sam. You don't take a joint from a guy named Don, and there's no dogs in the car!

So you're looking for a soul train

There's a demon in you, and you're going to your safety school

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