#deep ponderings

[inpursuitofnunchi]

the subtitler understood the assignment

[honeyhobbs]

I'll meet judgement by the hounds

[the-muppet-joker]

I'm sorry, women.

[lostwords-found]

Oh no. Oh fuck. I am relistening to some of the earlier Protocol episodes, and I have a horrible, terrible, no good very bad suspicion about Gerry.

I could, I want to emphasize, be completely wrong! I could be wildly, hilariously, off the mark. But--hear me out. This is going to take some explaining about what I think is going on in the bigger picture worldbuilding stuff; hopefully it'll be coherent, but fair warning, it may get a bit long.

First: there have been a lot of cases that have boiled down to trying to keep only the "good"/desirable/etc aspects of things or events or people, and discard the "bad"/unwanted, right? We saw this happening very explicitly in episode 23 with Alesis Newman, and way back in episode 2 with Daria the painter, but a number of episodes have presented variations on a similar theme.

Two variations in particular that I've been thinking a lot about are the violinist in episode 4 and the gambler in episode 9. The violinist can play his violin beautifully, but he wants to be rid of the price in flesh and blood that it demands. Similarly, the gambler wants the rewards of rolling high on his magic dice, but wants to be rid of the misfortunes that come with rolling low. Crucially, both episodes make clear that in this type of balance--something unwanted for something wanted--you can't just make the unwanted piece vanish. It has to go somewhere, it has to happen. But you can make it happen to someone else, somewhere else. And when that's how the game works, one of the major questions for players who want to get ahead then becomes: "how do I make the bad stuff stay happening somewhere else, and keep reaping the benefits of the good stuff that balances it out?"

Here's where this gets wildly speculative and from here on I freely acknowledge that I may be talking out my ass:

I think the Magnus Institute was investigating that question. I suspect a great many alchemists before the Institute, probably going back to the times of Albertus Magnus, were investigating it as well. I think the Great Work they were attempting -- the "universal transmutation" alluded to in episode 21 as the Magnus Institute's aim -- was the exact opposite of Jonah Magnus's own "Great Work" in TMA. In other words, I think they were probably trying to make the world an eternal paradise, rather than an eternal hell.

But if you're getting rid of all the "bad" stuff, all the suffering and misfortune, it's got to go somewhere.

I think they were sending it through to other worlds.

I'm not going to get into all the reasons I think that right now, because that's a whole essay in itself, but basically--the Leitners in TMA? The artifacts? All the little bits and pieces of evil given physical form, that never had a clear origin point in the world where they caused so much suffering for so long? We've all been worried about them winding up here, post-Archives... but I think this is where they came from in the first place. I think they were sent away in the hopes that an increase in "bad" in other worlds would lead to an increase in "good" in this one. Remember all those books Albrecht von Closen found in the tomb in the Black Forest in TMA, that Jonah Magnus later stole and let loose on the world? Remember that Albrecht found a mysterious coin along with them dated 1279? Albertus Magnus died in 1280; I strongly suspect he sent those books from the world of Protocol to that of Archives shortly before his death, much as the world of Archives sent the tapes away centuries later. But I think Protocol's world kept sending things away, kept trying to export "bad" and import "good". Remember all those happy, laughing volunteers bringing strange and sinister items to the charity shop on Hill Top Road in episode 7? "All for a good cause."

Okay so. Now. With that bit of hypothetical framework for Protocol's worldbuilding in place, let's next go back to Alesis Newman of episode 23. Her expressed wish is to create a new her. "Someone better. Someone the pain can't touch." Someone who can be everything Alesis wishes she could have been. Someone "free of all (her) mistakes."

But increasingly it sounds like what she actually wants isn't to create someone new. It is to create someone who is only a part of her current self. Someone who, she says in one of her last few posts, will "just be the good parts of me."

And if that's the case, if what she's really trying to do is make someone who holds only the "good" parts of her, someone who can be happy and strong and perfect and loved by everyone forever... what happens to the bad parts of Alesis Newman, as she currently exists? What about the parts of her that feel pain and fear, the parts of her that make mistakes, the parts of her that she rejects?

One might assume, from the experience she narrates, that those pieces of her are simply being destroyed. But that doesn't line up with the suggestion we've seen from earlier episodes that there has to be some kind of balance maintained in these bargains. What she actually says is happening to her--and what the forum members have apparently told her will happen, through this process--is that she and this "new her" are "becoming one... and then two."

I don't think the "bad" parts of Alesis Newman are dying. I think they're also going to become a "new her"--they're just going to go somewhere else, somewhere the new, happy, strong, perfect version of Alesis Newman never has to see them.

Still with me?

Okay.

Now let's talk about Gerry. Let's talk about the smiling, laughing, irrepressibly happy Gerry Keay we meet early in Protocol. Gerry who seems to have everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives was denied.

Gerry who underwent tests at the Magnus Institute as a child, and who, per the static over his and "Gee Gee's" words, holds a few more secrets about what went on there than he let on to Sam and Celia.

Back when I first heard Gerry's appearance in episode 8, it sure felt like a narrative gut punch: This is who he could have been in Archives, if not for the presence of the Fears. This is what Jon and Martin's final decision threatens to destroy--for this safe, happy version of Gerry, and for everyone else in his world.

I'm now suspecting it might be significantly worse than that. I think the Magnus Institute might have done to Gerry Keay something similar to what Alesis Newman later did to herself: made him New. Kept only the good parts--ensured a happy, comfortable, good life for him. In which case, all the bad stuff--all the parts of Gerry Keay that would ever have to suffer from bad luck, to feel pain and fear and misery...

...well. They'd have had to go... somewhere else, wouldn't they.

Which would suggest I had the causality the wrong way around the first time I heard Gerry's appearance in Protocol: maybe it's not "Gerry has a happy life in this world because he didn't have to suffer everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives did."

Maybe it's "Gerry in Archives had to suffer everything he did because Gerry in Protocol was made to always be happy."

[jays-doodle-spool]

someone should write a story where there’s ppl stuck in a time loop, but the pov is from someone who rlly doesn’t care. there’s a whole ‘protagonist group’ or whatever trying to figure out how to escape the loop but this dude has just kept living their life so no one has noticed that they’re also stuck. they’re just sipping the exact same coffee order for the hundredth time watching the group strategize at an adjacent table and thinkin “man, wonder if they’re gonna figure out how to fix that today.”

[ruporas]

happiness today and tomorrow (ID in alt)

[princessofswordsart]

Pick up what I'm putting down, maybe? AU where Kira is Dukat's illegitimate daughter.

What if Meru fell pregnant while under Dukat's """care""" and Kira was born into that gilded cage. She was raised by her mother, and Dukat to some extent, until she was 2 or 3; too young to really remember anything. Hand-wavey attack by the Bajoran resistance happens, and while Meru is killed in the skirmish, Kira is rescued and eventually ends up with Taban and her brothers, Reon and Pohl. When she's old enough, Taban tells her a lie about who her actual sire is to keep her safe. He raises her as his own daughter, basically following along with canon, except now she's half-Cardassian.

And that comes with all the internalized hatred, and micro/macro aggressions from everyone around you and interpersonal trauma that you can imagine :))) As she gets older she learns to support inwards, vent outwards and use that resentment as a weapon. But she comes out of her youth a much harder and more guarded person than in canon. Kira was raised 100% culturally a Bajoran, and refuses to have anything to do with her Cardassian heritage. btw Dukat knows she's (ONE OF) his fuckin long-lost illegitimate half-Bajoran daughter immediately bc of the family name, Kira. He keeps it to himself ofc, and does not let it slow his roll with being a massive pest towards her. If anything he desires her respect and admiration even more bc that's his. Also I have to add from @destroyersopera: "given all that she's been through and her experience with cardassians that she reads dukats interest in her as creepy lust when in this case it's just that he knows she's his daughter so naturally wants her approval" something something the way that would color so many episodes, "Cardassian", "Indiscretion", "Return to Grace", "Covenant" !!!! just of the top of my head. Dukat being So Pleased when Kira wants him to leave Ziyal on the station for her safety etc etc. The FALLOut when Kira realizes Ziyal is her sister!! I still think Kira fully finds out the truth for "Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night", uses The Orb, and sees him being an Actual Doting father to her and she just I think about Kira Nerys, Dukat's illegitimate half-Bajoran daughter a lot.

[babybells123]

I’m obsessed with them already

[mintmatcha]

Is… is it too cruel to think that Monoma left her because she got pregnant… Like, he didn’t think he was ready to be a dad (which he evidently isn’t but. That’s for another day) so he tried to talk her into having an abortion but when she refuses he breaks up with her and leaves her alone. Intends for it to be like. A scare tactic. You know how parents tell their kid to “come along now or I’ll leave you here” when the child wants to buy some ridiculous toy and then the kid obviously comes along immediately. And Monoma lets her be for like, a month, to really straw salt in the wounds and make her think she was gonna have to raise the baby on her own which, in his mind, obviously means she’d get rid of it. But when he ��accidentally” stumbles by her place of work just when her shift ends to catch her on the way to her car, he can see that she’s started showing. Just a little. Most people wouldn’t notice, but he knows what she usually looks like. And like. All his will to fight her on keeping it just seeps out of him because of stupid caveman instincts and he gives a shit apology about being scared or sum shit and reader forgives him. Because she always does. And then he probably kept leaving her, EVEN DURING THE PREGNANCY, just to get his way on stupid things. Like. The color of the nursery. Or some shit. And then he just started staying away longer and longer and. Idk where I’m going with this. Also can you tell I really don’t like Monoma LOL

PSA: I’m imagining reader was maybe two or so months along when she found out she was pregnant? Maybe she has an irregular cycle, didn’t think much of it. Not until she started consistently feeling sick in the morning. So, when Monoma comes crawling back she’d be a little over 3 months along

you guys always say I'm too mean and then you leave these evil little ideas in my inbox smh

[orb-the-watchman]

if you love the creepy/body horror stuff and great character acting in Bugsnax you WILL fuck with Still Wakes The Deep I prommy

[vaguely-concerned]

'why is the god orb making kira have vivid sex dreams about a space cardinal', and other important ds9 questions (affectionate)

[that-sunny-pup]

Cans I haves permissions to hugs solars ? May I hugs hims ? I feels very sillies and wants to hugs thems :3

"sure, bring it in!"

[shorthaltsjester]

me as an imogen’s selfishness built from her isolation is one of the most interesting things about her truther (which, before someone vagues me on twitter . i don’t think this doesn’t mean she can’t and hasn’t been altruistic but that’s a separate post) + someone who loves when my favourite characters have their lives threatened and/or they die. i am eating well after last night’s ep.

as someone who cares for the world of exandria and despises everytime ashton opens his mouth about the gods and clocked into ashton and ludinus wearing the same hat a while ago . having to listen to them talk about how they’re better than ludinus because (checks notes) they want to do exactly what ludinus wants to but their motives (the exact same kind of trauma that made him tell ludinus to “grow up” . me BEGGING him to take his own advice) are better ??? i’m not eating as well but what can you do.

my grip on this campaign as a completionist who Is enjoying cr even if i don’t think this is a particularly strong campaign is truly resting on the shoulders of imogen impulsive-and-single-minded temult, fearne “if the world’s burning i want a front row seat” calloway, orym “only member of the group capable of a thought for the ‘little guys’ the party claims to stand for” of the air ashari, and chet who is there for vibes (and to protect his family). also shout out to braius for joining the one party where betraying them would make him easily break into the top 3 morally upstanding members of the party.

[lynxfrost13]

[ARAR]-VVH099 “Wasserlinse”

+ the VVH

I haven’t introduced this gal or the VVH (vittles versorgungshafen “vittles supply port”) which I created with @rostomanologist yet!!! But this is Wasserlinse, also known as Frau Linse!

- The VVH itself is a Eusan Nation supply port/experimental facility tied to the VDF experimental program, it’s essentially its Vinetan home base and is what allows for the experimental freighter to distribute the supplies it works so hard to get to Vineta.

-Both the VVH and the VDF program have had some serious budget cuts due to not being as successful as initially hoped for, and the Eusan Nation generally is spread thin and they’d rather focus on more urgent necessities. Which definitely is starting to show, the VVH is not very well managed and the Falke unit in charge doesn’t keep a very close eye on her replika staff like she should.

- Linse is an ARAR working as a dock loader and dock maintenance replika, she’s pretty typical for her replika type, but just a bit more of a slacker on the clock than most.

- She has a faulty eye piece that she could easily swap out for a new optic module, but she’s a big baby about medical stuff and it doesn’t bother her enough to be a problem (according to her).

- She’s built a very cramped little maintenance hole for herself, and in it she’s managed to get a tiny tank to grow her namesake wasserlinse!!! Her hidey hole is just big enough to have Frau Feder (Winnie’s eule) with her, and she also likes to hang up propaganda posters that she’s defaced with silly faces.

- Linse has had some unpleasant experiences with a few VVH stars and storches, mostly temperamental untrained ones, but they were rough exchanges and she’s very skittish around protektor units in general due to it.

- She’s degraded a bit and definitely has developed a bit of a smartass personality which doesn’t help her, especially dealing with storches, but she gets the job done regardless!

- she’s in a relationship with Winnie’s Frau Feder, which is a miracle considering that Linse’s approach to a love confession involves an intense stare and an attempt at words. She loves her gf a lot but wishes she was better at being affectionate with her!!

[nikolas-ghostbusters-fixation]

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.

I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.

I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??

Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.

[shizunitis]

Okay, but. Would Luo Bing-mei (and the SVSSS-version of PIDW’s world) not exist without the transmigrators? Or would it be a duplicate of PIDW? Does this Binghe’s existence depend on outside interference, or is it just his happiness (debatable at times) that Shen Yuan has saved? Is this rescue or an act of creation?

(Is Shen “Mother” Qingqiu canon?)

Related: is it really about Binghe, or just the world, the story? Was Shen Yuan’s love for Binghe the ‘hero’ that defeated the villainous System? Or was that its intention all along?

(Is Shen “Simp” Yuan also a white knight?)

I know it’s interpretable and we can’t really have a canon-based answer (unless I bring out the “theories” binder, which I’m disinclined to do without another reread) and that it doesn’t really matter, at the end of the day, but. You know.