#declan looks so much like his father

[ronanlynchbf]

"all this foreshadowing abt declan dying and then he didn't even die" well personally i think declan got murdered dead by mstief in greywaren so. actually 2 me he did die. Badly.

[heyhihellosworld]

𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀

Mason Mount x reader

Word count: 1k

Summary: Mason wants to introduce your daughter to the squad

Warnings: Fluff fluff and more fluff, dad Mason

Notes: Planned on writing this for another player but just felt soft for Mason and also this picture, like what? 🥵 Also this is really short and not the best

"Please y/n" Mason asked, his eyes begging you and his mouth in a pout. "Mason" you laughed, raking your fingers through his hair which made him whine in need to get an answer.

"You know it's not up to me" you defended giggling at his childish behavior as he slumped down into the couch with a groan. "I know" he sighed, pulling your arm gently to get you to sit down in his lap.

You smiled as you leaned your head back against his shoulder, his face nuzzling in your neck. You where soft for him, sighing before meeting his eyes.

"What if I drive up to you after training? That way they can meet her but it wont be on training time" you suggested, your heart fluttering as his face lit up with a splitting smile. "You would do that?"

"Of course" you hummed, raking your fingers through his hair again but this time he met it with a hum of satisfaction instead, leaning his head on your chest. "I know how important it is for you" you hummed.

You had welcomed you daughter Lyra about a year ago, Mason immediately stepping up as an great father and doing everything he could to balance his career and family life, just as you but it hadn't been too much struggle. She just fit right in your routine.

Mason had wanted to take her to training for a long time now, he had already taken her to meet the Chelsea squad a couple of months ago but he wanted her to meet the England lads as well but it was a bit trickier considering it was pretty far to the training ground.

"What time does your training end?" you hummed "Three" he answered sleepily "Okay"

-

It had been an easy and slow morning for you. Lyra had been sleeping long and was now laying in her baby-seat quietly in the car. She looked at you and said a few words every now and then but she was in a good mood. The drive was easy and you arrived at 15:07, perfect time and you grinned at yourself, high-fiving your skills.

You packed Lyra out of the car and walked towards the training pitch where they were still kicking balls around, just playing.

Mason perked up at the sound of your shoes against the gravel, his smile lightning up as he saw the two of you, immediately jogging over to meet you. "Hi princess" he cooed, making the little girl giggle as she kissed his cheek. "Hi to you to" he smiled, kissing your lips gently before turning back to the squealing girl, taking her out of your hands.

You walked with him to the middle of the pitch to greet the boys, hugging each of them and exchanging some words with them as Mason stood with Declan. "Oi! I want to meet her!" Jack exclaimed, pushing Declan away as he took the little girl, lifting her straight up like he wanted to inspect her.

You stepped back a few steps and sat down in the grass, leaning against your palms to watch the scene in front of you, a smile on your face as you watched them interact with Lyra.

"Oh my gosh she is adorable" Marcus squeled, scooping her up from Jack's arms who whined at his friend.

"She is, it's all thanks to me" Mason huffed cockily making you scoff.

"Oh come on man, she is maybe 80% y/n" Phil laughed agreeing with you and shoving Mason on the shoulder. "Ouch!" he whined, taking Lyra back into his arms. "She is my twin" he argued. The boys giggled at him

"Nah man, she is y/n's copy, that's probably why she is so cute" Declan cooed at the baby, making her laugh. Mason on the other hand gasped dramatically "Oi! first you say my daughter looks nothing like me and then you hit on my wife?"

Declan laughed giving you a wink as Mason gasped again not loving the joke but you could only laugh and wink back at Declan.

"No no no" Mason huffed, narrowing his eyes at your teasing grin but he couldn't help but let the smile take over his face.

You spent around an hour on the pitch before you had to let Lyra rest, her smile never intact but her eyes began to droop closed as she sat in Kyle's lap on the grass, Raheem sitting next and talking with the little girl who was spent to the limit after having stumbled around the grass with the boys who wanted to see if she could kick the ball. Mason had already announced she would be a football-star after she had kicked it very slowly into the goal on the side of Trent who had pretended to be a keeper. She had squealed of happiness, probably not because of the goal but because of the boys excitement and reactions, having caused her to tumble around in a fit of giggles.

"Can I keep her?" Raheem pouted as he held the now asleep girl in his arms, not wanting to let her go. Saka stood next to him, also pouting at the sleeping girl. "She is literally too adorable" he gushed making you grin.

"Okay okay, give me my princess now" Mason huffed, smiling as Raheem reluctantly passed her over.

"Okay, we will go now, see you tomorrow lads" Mason greeted goodbye before you both started to move back to the car. "If you don't bring her don't come!" Jack shouted after you which made you both laugh, Mason giving him the finger behind his back.

You sighed, leaning your head against his shoulder with a content smile on your face, feeling relaxed and happy. "Thank you" Mason mumbled in your ear, wrapping his free arm around your waist. "Love you" he mumbled

"Love you Mase"

[narrat3333d]

ARAN RYAN HEADCANONS!!1! (explodes..starting w/ him bc he my fav..heart☹️)

FAMILY.

Declan Ryan. (Father, 52.)

Peigí Ryan. (Mother, 54.)

Aofie Ryan. (Older Sister, 25.)

Ronan Ryan. (Younger Brother, 19.)

Sean and Cian Ryan. (Younger Brothers, 16.)

GENERAL.

Previously worked as a Dockhand in the ports before he boxed, it’s where he gained most of his strength.

Knows how to swindle someone out of a pretty penny, his Ma taught him how to charm his way through any situation.

He began fighting as early as he could, (18). Though he’s most likely been illegally weaselling his way into professional matches before hand.

ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS gets up at 7:00am SHARP. If he doesn’t get up at 7am he’ll probably be up at 7:07, and if he isn’t up at that time he’ll be extremely pissed about it.

He uses an unhealthy amount of gel to get his hair to stay like that. No fucking way does it just do that thang.

Apart from that, he somehow has nice-ish hair despite how ratty and unkempt it looks, his Ma' and Aofie taught him how to care for his hair once he started growing it out.

Still lives at the Ryan Home, with his parents, and siblings, (though Aofie has moved out.she visits.) he’s WAY too irresponsible with his money to rent his own apartment.

Got surprisingly decent grades for how he acts.

He eats Lucky Charms for breakfast, but he usually only eats the marshmallows.

Learned Irish Stepdance from his Father, he’s trying to rope his younger brothers into learning it as well.

SOMEHOW. SOMEHOW still has his drivers license. He drives this really banged up looking car, each time he has to drive someone somewhere they exit the car hyperventilating, dehydrated, malnourished, trembling, tense, teary eyed../j

He’s tasked with babysitting Sean and Cian more often than not, he most likely drops them off with one of the other Boxers if he can’t be bothered to deal with their bullshit™️. (Which, surprisingly, isn’t all that common.)

When he was a kid, he tried to sell or trade Ronan/Sean and Cian when they were babies for something ridiculous. Like a Pokemon card, or something of the sorts.

Also tried to make his Younger Brothers’ first words a curse. (It worked for Cian, his first word was ‘Arse’.) ((Aran was overjoyed, his parents not so much.))

Owns a lot of lucky charms, almost to the point where it’s absurd.

Most of his old clothes end up becoming hand-me-downs to Ronan, Sean and Cian.

He knocked out (one of) Cian's teeth when he was younger.

He has a couple photos of his family members haphazardly pasted onto the inside of his locker door.

Plays shitty, overused pranks on some of the other Boxers.

He's coaching Sean and Cian on how to box. (And cheat, he enthusiastically encouraged the twins to keep up with their whole 'Switch-Places' shtick.)

His knuckles are bruised from the horseshoes he has in his gloves, as well as a few swollen spots on his face. Probably has a dislocated or even broken finger or two.

There's merchandise of all of the boxer's in the WVBA, sometimes there's a figure or plush of Aran being thrown at the wall or kicked down the stairs in the Ryan Household.

Most likely would try to fight with Sean or Cian in the ring. (Sort of almost a..Bear Hugger situation. But not with a squirrel. I do not know how to word this..)

Buys the shittiest Birthday presents ever. Literally. He doesn't gaf.

Was somehow dragged into a Double Scull by Sean, Aran purposefully tipped the boat and Sean didn't speak to him for around 3-5 business days.

He goes to the pub from time to time, which gives him a lot of gossip and such about the locals.

Doesn't get into Bar Fights as much as one would think.

He DEFINITELY has messy, horrible handwriting.

here,, dumps this and walks away

therr will probably be a part two,,and maybe i'll do one soley focused on his relations with the fellow boxers because ive been too scared to dip my toe into that territory yet,,(I DONT UNDERSTAND SHIPPING FOR THE LIFE OF ME, hwo does it work..) anywasy thank you for coming to my ted talk and sorry for yapping heart heart

[clotpolesonly]

thinking about Declan and the moth again

it HAUNTS ME that the moth is one of the few times that Declan seems to lose his self-awareness completely. like, yeah, he's the ultimate king of repression, but he's usually very conscious of what he's repressing and the fact that he's repressing it. he knows his issues.

he knows that he forces down his emotions in an unhealthy way so that he can be the adult in the room at far too young an age. he knows he can't form healthy relationships because of a lifetime of danger and insecurity. he knows he dehumanized his mother as a means to cope with their batshit family situation. he knows he's competing with his father's ghost for a place in Ronan's life. he knows he resents Matthew for being the primary factor in his parentification and loss of opportunity in life. he knows he loves his father no matter how much he tries to convince himself to hate him. he knows he feels trapped in the life he's leading, doesn't see a way out, and likely wouldn't take it if he did because it would be at the expense of his brothers.

all of these things, Declan acknowledges openly, either to himself in narration or out loud to others. he may delude himself about how well he's coping with his issues, but he has no illusions about what his issues ARE.

except for the fucking moth.

it's such a perfect, on-the-nose symbol that it almost strains credulity for Declan not to acknowledge it as such, and yet not once does he ever look at the moth and feel the way he did about the black string art exhibit that made him recognize how trapped he felt in his life. "how the moth had beaten against the walls for those first few days, until it had learned it could not escape."

the learned helplessness of it - there's no point fighting to get free, just lie down and accept that this is your life. know what you're allowed to do, and have, and be. know what you're not. a creature of his father's making, confined by his father's hand.

and not even something as eye-catching as a butterfly, no, but a quieter subtler moth with eyes like glittering purple-black marbles that will never get to live a life because Niall made it so.

and the symbolic parallel of the display case and the townhouse. the rigid real world structures that Declan himself requested, because they made him feel more secure than being surrounded by dreams, and that his father provided in a well-meaning but ultimately short-sighted attempt to accommodate him. things that Declan only recognizes much later as the cages that they were.

Declan now regrets demanding his dad make the display case by hand, and when he puts himself through Ronan's bad-feeling security system at the end of the series, the memory it hits him with is inheriting the sterile alexandria townhouse that was exactly what he'd claimed to want.

these are symbols of Declan's complicity, in a manner of speaking, in the whole tragic mess that was his upbringing. at some point, quite early on, Declan's oppression became a joint effort, something that he participated in (because a complete lack of control in the situation would have felt worse). it reminds me of Declan struggling to remember which of them first decided to lie to Matthew about what he was, whether that was his dad's idea or if he'd done that of his own volition, just following pattern.

did dad trap him, or did he build the walls himself? or was it both?

but, for once, none of this is acknowledged by Declan in the text. this artistically-minded chronic overthinker carries the moth around with him - one of the two dreams he will never sell, alongside the gift from Ronan - and he stays so uncritically sentimental about it that he releases it on his wedding day with happy/nostalgic tears in his eyes, and it just boggles my mind.

this is the man who looked at a bunch of string and had the immediate revelation that he was utterly miserable and trapped in a spiderweb of a life precariously balanced on a knife's edge where one wrong move could get him and everyone he loved killed, but he looks at a direct, uncomplicated, one-to-one representation of himself and somehow does not recognize that it is not something to think of fondly. that, yes, it may be a symbol of his father's love for him, but it's not good.

[f1tales]

i was enchanted to meet you - cs55

i was enchanted to meet you || part one

previous part || next part

pairing: carlos sainz x singer!ofc

summary: carlos and lennon meet in baku. everything changes after that.

faceclaim: none.

Lennon Sage Abbott was fresh off her first American headlining tour when she found herself in a car on her way to her first ever Formula 1 Grand Prix. It had been her father’s dream for so long to work within the travelling circus that is Formula 1 so when the job offer was finally there, he didn’t hesitate and took the job.

Lennon was so proud of him; she always had been. Harry Abbott had worked as Chelsea FC’s physiotherapist for most of Lennon’s life. But now that both his children had left the nest, he was ready for a new step in his career:

Formula 1.

The twenty year old singer played with the lanyard that was hanging from her neck. She took in the sights of Baku that passed by the window. She had never been to Azerbaijan before in her life. It looked nice enough; she would have to explore more tomorrow.

She tore her eyes away from the sights outside as her phone vibrated from where it was laying in her lap. A silent giggle left her mouth at the name of her groupchat with Mason and Declan. Her brother, Beckett, had come up with it years ago. It stuck. It became their ‘official’ friendship group name. She opened the chat, fond memories of her childhood with Mason and Declan filling her head.

money mase lenn, i can’t believe you’d rather go to f1 than come and see us!!

money mase kidding of course, have fun! say hi to your dad

money mase wasn’t kidding completely, this f1 thing doesn’t quite compare to a match at the Bridge

dec have fun, lentil!

dec tell harry we’d like some tickets next please

Lennon grinned at the messages in the groupchat. She sent them a quick reply, thanking them for their kind words, eye roll, and that they should ask her dad for tickets themselves. They’re big boys after all, cue another eye roll.

The car came to a stop not long after. Lennon thanked the man who had opened the door for her and helped her out of the car. A bit much, if you asked her. She was more than capable of getting out of the car all by herself. Nonetheless, her parents raised a polite, young woman so she thanked the man. She looked around. People were dressed in vibrant red, papaya orange and dark blue. She tried to listen closely to a man that was now speaking. But to be honest, her focus was anywhere but at the man in the white polo in front of her.

Lennon blinked a few times when she realised the man in the polo was now staring at her expectantly. She grimaced, “sorry.” She sheepishly smiled. “I didn’t quite catch that, sorry,” she apologised. She felt her cheeks heat up ever so slightly as the man let out an exasperated sigh. She noticed how a few people around her rolled their eyes; not very discreetly even though they tried. Some just let out loud groans, not trying to be discreet about it at all.

The man once again explained about the paddock, about how to enter, where they could go, so on and so forth. The man crossed his arms over his chest, expectantly looking at Lennon again. She nodded quickly. “Got it,” she kept nodding. Her eyes squinted at the name tag on his polo: Greg.

He looked like a Greg, Lennon concluded.

Lennon squirmed slightly when she realised Greg was still looking at her. His arms were still crossed over his chest, but one of his eyebrows was raised. Lennon looked to her left and saw one of the lady’s from before, the one that had not so discreetly rolled her eyes, scanned the pass that was hanging from her neck.

Lennon put on her best smile, “thanks so much, Greg.” she patted his shoulder and then copied the lady’s moves. She was in. She took her phone from the small bag that was hanging from her shoulder. She told her father she would text him when she got here. She texted him, telling him she had finally arrived then put the phone away again. She took in the sights around her; she could understand now why they called it a circus. There was so much going on, cameras everywhere, people everywhere.

She stepped aside quickly before a guy with a big camera could knock her over. A girl with a clipboard with the Netflix logo on it apologised to her before following after the camera crew. Yep, this was quite the circus, Lennon concluded.

From her peripheral vision she caught sight of the guy in front of the camera. He had gorgeous, dark brown hair that was covered by an orange cap. Their eyes briefly met as he passed her. She politely smiled before looking down at her feet. 

Lennon fiddled with her fingers as she waited for her father. It was a habit, she tried to stop it, but she couldn’t. Whenever she was nervous, she fiddled with her fingers. A few years ago, when those fidget spinners were very popular, Lennon had millions of them. Much to Mason and Declan’s amusement, who took every opportunity to make fun of her for owning so many of them.

Oh, how she wishes she had one on her now.

“Lenn!”

A familiar voice broke her train of thoughts. Her brother, Beckett, was pushing his way through the crowd. His face scrunched together in irritation when the Netflix crew from before got in his way. He pushed the guy with the mic out of his way, receiving an equally irritated stare in return. She let out a chuckle when she was finally pulled into a tight hug.

“Dad’s treating one of the guys right now, so he’s asked me to come and get you.”

The Abbott siblings walked through what Lennon now learned was “the paddock” together. Beckett had his arm wrapped around his sister’s shoulder. Lennon listened as her brother talked to her about the paddock. He had been a lifelong race fan and their father used to take him to Silverstone every year. Lennon and her mother would usually take a trip to the lake district to visit their grandparents instead.

The younger Abbott let a huf escape her mouth, which in return gained her brother’s attention. He raised one of his eyebrows at her. Lennon cheekily smiled, “you could’ve mentioned years ago that all the cute guys come to these races! I would have attended ages ago!” she playfully hissed in his ear. She grinned as Beckett’s loud laugh could possibly be heard through the whole paddock. Lennon linked her arm through her brother’s and they continued their way to where Lennon presumed her father was right now.

“Let’s go to dad, he said he’d have lunch with us.”

Beckett leads them to what Lennon learns is the Toro Rosso hospitality. They reach it just in time for her stomach to start grumbling. The only thing she ate before leaving for the track was an apple. She overslept and missed the hotel breakfast by ten minutes. After checking his phone, Beckett tells her their dad will join them in five minutes.

“You want a Red Bull in the meantime?”

Lennon scrunches up her nose at that question, “absolutely not. Can you just get me some water?”

The siblings wait for another five minutes when their father comes through the door, a young man by his side. They laugh as they talk about something. Lennon has good hearing, but not quite good enough to hear what they are talking about.

Harry Abbott’s eyes lit up when he spotted his daughter, “Lenny Penny!”

Lennon’s cheek flush bright red at the embarrassing nickname. It doesn’t stop her from jumping out her seat and sprinting straight to her father, though. She hadn’t seen him for months and was more than happy to be wrapped up in his arms again. Harry caught his daughter as she launched herself towards him.

“Oh, honey,” he mumbled in her head, “I missed you so much.” He kissed the side of her head. Lennon checked the room, seeing everyone had stopped what they were doing and were looking at the reunion of Harry and his daughter. “You’ll have to tell me all about the tour, okay?”

Lennon grinned; she’d happily tell him about the tour. It’s not like he didn’t know everything already. Her mother had accompanied her to the USA and had debriefed her father after every concert. She’d still happily share her point of view.

She politely smiled at the young man standing next to her father. He awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “Oh!” Harry laughed. “Lennon, this is Alexander Albon. He drives for the team.” Lennon shook his extended hand. “Alex, this is my daughter Lennon.”

Alexander, or Alex, grinned as he shook Lennon’s hand. “Big fan. Loved your album!”

“Thank you! I’d say I’m a big fan of yours, too, but I don’t know much about the sport to be honest. And I don’t want to lie to you.”

Alex burst out in laughter. He mumbled a quick ‘pleasure to meet you, Lenny Penny,’ before being ushered away by some girl. 

The Abbotts had their lunch together as they caught up on their lives. Lennon told her father and brother about the tour, her father filled her in on his new job and Beckett told them how he was so happy to finally be graduating and getting his finance degree.

After her father gave her a proper tour of the paddock, the Toro Rosso hospitality and the garage, it was nearly time for ‘lights out and away we go’. The two Abbotts made it back to Beckett with just enough time for the two to find their seats in the grandstand. Harry told them he’d see them after the race.

And Lennon would never admit it to Mason or Declan, but she found the race so much more thrilling than any of their matches. Ever. The speed of the cars, the strategies. The speed of the cars! Her heart leapt whenever a car overtook another. 

She hadn’t quite decided what would be her team yet. She liked the orange cars. And the red ones looked pretty stunning, too. She’d ask her brother later when they’d be back in the hotel. Although she was certain he would tell her to support Red Bull Racing, like he did.

The three Abbotts had gathered together at the entrance of the paddock about two hours after the race. Harry had finally wrapped up his work and was told to go so he could enjoy some time with his children.

“Lenny Penny!”

Lennon internally groaned at the nickname and cursed the day her father had come up with it. She saw Alex Albon hastily running towards her, a shit eating grin on his face as he once again called out her nickname. He was out of breath as he skidded to a halt in front of them.

“A few of us are going out tonight, care to join?”

“Sure.” she nodded. “Stop calling me Lenny Penny, though.” Lennon took her phone from her pocket and searched for Alex on Instagram. Once she found him she hit the follow button. “DM me where to meet you.”

next part coming soon

the divider is by @/enchanthings || original post

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 4 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Harrowhark

I'm pretty sure you've already got plenty of submissions for her so I'll just say she was raised in what is basically a cult (technically a nunnery but let's be real) dedicated to keeping the body of the thing that will kill God behind the rock. One of their prayers is actually "I pray the rock is never rolled away". Harrow is extremely devout as penance for her earlier heretical actions in the tomb as a child (spoiler!) so the Catholic guilt really comes through

imagine being a catholic nun and you meet god, but it turns out he’s a twitch streamer from new zealand who became god because everything got a little bit out of hand. and just before you met him you gave yourself a diy grief-fuelled lobotomy with the help of your best frenemy. imagine how insane you’d be. now multiply that insanity by nine. that’s the fictional love of my life right there.

she meets god. she’s not inspired

she’s number one practitioner of space Catholicism. The locked tomb is chock full of Christian (catholic) imagery themes metaphors etc. just look at her she’s got a bone rosary

They're Catholicism with extra bones. Everyone is a nun. They have what is basically a rosary made from knuckle bones. They technically worship the same God as everyone else, but they're waaaay more focused on The Body in the Tomb (Mary) and we get a moment where we find out that while everyone else prays the equivilent of The Lords Prayer, they're doing the equivilent of Hail Mary. And they paint their faces with skulls.

She thinks leaving dry bread in a drawer is taking care of someone. She's in love with a 10,000 year old corpse (the same one they worship). She spent ALL NIGHT digging with her bare hands to make sure a field had bones every 5 feet so she could fight her girlfriend - I mean, greatest enemy. Spoiler territory: She's been puppeting her parents corpses since she was 8 years old. Instead of grieving her dead girlfriend, she gives herself a lobotomy. She makes soup with bone in it so she can use the bone IN THEIR STOMACH to try and kill them.

The author is/was Catholic and the entire series had heavy Catholic overtones. https://www.tor.com/2020/08/19/gideon-the-ninth-young-pope-and-the-new-pope-are-building-a-queer-catholic-speculative-fiction-canon/ A good breakdown of how it's Catholic

Anti-propaganda (spoilers)

I love the Locked Tomb series but Harrowhark has daddy issues with God, had a childhood crush on God's cryogenic partner, and is in love with God's daughter, not to mention that she's essentially a bone-bender. The religion on her home planet exists in a way that is technically against the will of the canon in-universe God, even. All of this to say, Harrowhark is heretical at minimum if not an outright witch. Terrible Catholic. Burn her.

Ronan Lynch

Uhh fun fact he saw the devil flash his father once, and that's one of the reasons he goes to church on Sundays <3

context for this scene from book 2: ronan is in church with his older brother declan, younger brother matthew, and ghost friend noah "Joseph Kavinsky isn’t someone I want you being around,” Declan added. “Don’t snort. I’m serious.” Ronan merely invested a look with as much contempt as he could muster. A lady reached over the top of Noah to pat Matthew’s head fondly before continuing down the aisle. She didn’t seem to care that he was fifteen, which was all right, because he didn’t, either. Both Ronan and Declan observed this interaction with the pleased expressions of parents watching their prodigy at work. Declan repeated, “Like, actually dangerous.” Sometimes, Declan seemed to think that being a year older gave him special knowledge of the seedier side of Henrietta. What he meant was, did Ronan know that Kavinsky was a cokehead. In his ear, Noah whispered, “Is crack the same thing as speed?” Ronan didn’t answer. He didn’t think it was a very church-appropriate conversation. “I know you think you’re a punk,” Declan said. “But you aren’t nearly as bad ass as you think you are.” “Oh, go to hell,” Ronan snapped, just as the altar boys broached the rear doors. “Guys,” Matthew pleaded. “Be holy.”

Gay Catholic streetracing farmer. Consumed by catholic guilt NOT because of the gay thing but because he can Create things in a way he thinks should be only God's business. Will literally roll up to mass on sunday morning still drunk and bloody.

THIS GOTH KID IS LITERALLY GOD. This is a god trapped in the body of a Catholic teen and if he ever stopped feeling Catholic guilt he’d end the world!!. How is your confession every week that you creating a whole new being? Babygirl the God is coming from inside the house

eldritch entity from beyond the mortal plane wants to be a Real Human Boy, becomes a real (ish!) human (ish!) boy, goes to mass every sunday

Gay boy got his crush an apartment above his church so he could have his two favorite things in one place

gay. I'm not caught up the the series but I went through the tag when the latest book came out and I remember seeing a quote that said he worried if his boyfriend would make it to heaven when he dies because of his agnostic tendencies.

Kid is like a dream warlock who creates psychic horrors and never goes to confession because why would he? and he’s gay

There are no words

basically ronan's powers are inherited from his dead father niall and it means he can bring anything from a dream into real life. so he's got this whole crisis about whether he is a living piece of blasphemy because men are not meant to have the powers of gods or whether he literally is god. which is not acceptable to him for a number of reasons but mostly because he hates himself. his love interest's name is adam and adam lives in a small apartment above a church which the book says focuses the objects of his worship neatly into one building. I love them both dearly. also, this entire page makes me feel like I'm going insane. Ronan Lynch believed in heaven and hell. Once, he’d seen the devil. It had been a low, late morning at the Barns when the sun had burned off the mist and then burned off the chill and then burned the edges off the ground until everything shimmered with heat. It never got hot in those protected fields, but that morning, the air sweated with it. Ronan had never seen cattle pant before. All of the cows heaved and stuck their tongues out as they frothed with the heat. His mother sent Ronan to put them in the shade of the cattle barn. Ronan had gone to the searing metal gate, and as he did, he’d glimpsed his father, already in the barn. Four yards away from him had stood a red man. He was not truly red, but the burned orange of a fire ant. And he was not truly a man, because of the horns and the hooves. Ronan remembered the alienness of the creature, how real it had been. Every costume in the world had gotten it wrong; every drawing in every comic book. They’d all forgotten that the devil was an animal. Looking at the red man, Ronan had been struck by the intricacy of the body, how many miraculous pieces moved smoothly in harmony, no different than his own. Niall Lynch had had a gun in hand — the Lynches had an enormous number of guns of all sizes — and just as Ronan had opened the gate, his father had shot the thing about thirteen times in the head. With a shake of its horns, the unharmed devil had presented its genitalia to Niall Lynch before bounding off. It was an image that had yet to leave Ronan. And so Ronan became a reverse evangelist. The truth burst and grew inside him, and it was laid upon him to share it with no one. No one was meant to see hell before they get there. No one should have to live with the devil. So many homilies on faith were ruined once you no longer required it for belief.

Our boy CHOOSES not to receive the Eucharist because he doesn’t believe he is worthy. The spiritual insight, the devotion, the fact that this teenager is worried he may have a mortal sin weighing on his soul…this boy isn’t just going through the motions, he’s putting work into this.

[hiddenwritingsintheworld]

My Alpha Ch. 6

Donations | Send Thoughts Here | My Alpha Series| Chapter 5

(Author Note: Thank you guys for being so patient!! I am transitioning into a new job I got a little carried away with this chapter Lol but I hope y'all love it just as a much! ;) lots happening here! Please leave me a comment on this chapter if you enjoyed it or if you have any feedback at all!! Love you all!!)

That dinner you’d had with Declan was wonderful, you fell asleep with him on the phone that night and the next morning when you got ready for work you couldn't explain how you felt, but it was incredible. You didn’t want to ever be without him again. Coming downstairs you smelled breakfast and coffee, and huffed out a sigh. Things weren’t great with your father; not like that was a secret or anything. But there were things that you were not up for sharing with anyone else. You had a small, secret hope buried deep down inside of you, that maybe Declan was the one. 

The one to take you away from this man, the awful things he had subjected you to in the past, hell, even the things he subjects you to now. You slowly walked into the kitchen in your work uniform, taking a seat at the island your father turned and smiled at you before pouring you a cup of coffee. “How was your night last night? You were fast asleep when I got back from the trip.” he said. 

You looked at your coffee before looking up at him, “it was good. We went to that little place on the corner of Elm, and I had a really wonderful time.” you said softly as he plated your breakfast and placed it on the cloth placemat in front of you. “Good. I guess that Declan isn’t so bad, I’ll need to have a chat with him if he thinks he’s going to date you without my knowledge though.” Arthur said as he turned back around to continue cooking. “Dad, we’ve only gone to dinner once…while I had a good time, who knows if he did.” you said quietly as you pushed your food around on your plate. 

Arthur watched you closely as he sat down beside you with his own plate. “Something wrong hon?” he asked as you shrugged. “I don’t really want to talk about it. I just want to go to work dad.” you said quietly as he turned more toward you. “Y/N, tell me whats wrong right now.” he held an agitated tone in his voice and you finally looked at him. “Honestly? I do not want to go with you tonight after work. I hate it. I hate it so much!” you raised your voice as you got off the stool. “It's wrong and you know it is!” you flinched as he gripped you by the arms and slammed you back against the counter. 

“You know damn good and well how bad your life can be if you keep up this new attitude girlie. I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again, if we didn’t do this, then someone else would! You know I wouldn’t be able to protect you if someone else was in control. Our family has been doing this for centuries! It’s part of our pack! It's part of our ways!” he yelled as you coward down, shaking in fear. Arthur let go of you, moving away to grab his keys. “You can clean up breakfast and get your ass to work.” 

You worked a better part of the day with your mind focusing on the tasks at hand. Cleaning tables, filling waters, taking orders, and chatting up customers like nothing was wrong. You looked up seeing Declan walk in with some of the other construction crew members and smiled as his eyes met yours. He grinned and nodded over to a booth for the guys to sit in while he walked over to the counter where you’d just rounded to place the coffee pot back on its burner.  

You were not sure what you and Declan were, but your heart would jump from your throat, down to your stomach everytime your eyes caught his. You looked at him before glancing at the booth. “You gonna sit here and have your lunch or over there with your friends?” you smiled as he leaned his crossed arms on the counter leaning over on them to be closer to you. “Well, I figured I would come say hello, before we ordered lunch all together.” he smiled as you smiled bashfully. “well…hello there…I’m sorry I fell asleep on the phone last night, and also if I forgot to tell you, I am sorry I fell asleep last night on the phone,” you admitted as you grabbed your pen and pad and walked around the counter.

Declan smiled as his jaw tensed, not having a barrier between the two of you anymore. “Well that’s alright, I didn’t mind,” he smiled as you let out a soft giggle. “well I’m glad, I did have a wonderful time last night,” you admitted looking up at him as he glanced down at you, standing at his full height. “I did too. Why don’t we do it again tonight?” he asked as you both walked over to the booth. Before you could answer, the guys began teasing Declan and talking loudly. You laughed some before you got them all to pay attention and took down their orders. 

The lunch rush kept you busy, so busy in fact you didn’t get to spend any time at all talking to Declan apart from your brief chat when he’d first arrived. You rushed around, serving tables, refilling the crew members drinks, bringing out extra sides and desserts when asked. You’d laugh at their jokes, hearing them tease one another. You’d collected a couple of the checks and started ringing everyone out as the lunch rush died down when Declan came up to the counter. 

“So what do you say? You wanna go out with me tonight?” Declan smiled at you as you wiped down the counter in front of you. “I’m sorry I can't tonight, I have to work.” you said, giving him a sad smile, “But maybe tomorrow night after the pack meeting?” you asked looking up at him. Declan raised an eyebrow, “You sure your father won't march you home?” he asked with a chuckle. “No, I'm going to tell him I'm busy with you.” you said with a smile as you leaned over the counter and pressed a kiss to his cheek softly. 

You grinned up at him as he stood and threw some bills down on the counter. “You know you don’t have to pay for lunch when you come visit me, I take care of it.” you said softly as he raised an eyebrow. “Missy, you better not be paying for my food outta your checks,” he said, raising an eyebrow at you. You smiled up at him, looking up under your lashes. “I like taking care of you,” you whispered softly. Declan chuckled and grabbed your hand softly, “I’m sure you do, but I can handle my own.” He smiled down at you. 

“Y/N! Get back to work!” your boss snapped at you as he stuck his head out of his office. You jumped and let go of Declan turning around. “Sorry boss!” you yelped before turning back around. “I gotta go, I’ll call you later okay?” Declan looked over at your boss’s door before he looked down at you and nodded. “Of course, I’ll talk to you later,” he gave you a quick wink and left without another word. 

After your shift at the diner ended, you changed into your jeans, a t-shirt and a heavy coat before heading out to the old barn your father owned. Once you got there, your father stood inside and looked at you as you entered. “Y/N, perfect timing. I need to speak with you about Declan.” he grabbed your arm and pulled you off to the side. “What's going on between the two of you?” he asked as you shrugged, “Nothing, we’re friends dad, he does want to take me out again tomorrow night after the pack meeting and I accepted.” you said as he pushed his lips out. “I want you to stay away from him. He’s an alpha and an outsider. He doesn't know what’s good for you or this pack.” he growled before turning toward the stalls. “Get them ready, tonight's color is blue. NO ONE enters without that color on their wrist. Do you understand me?” he growled as he got in your face. You nodded. “Yes Dad-” “What?” he snapped. “Yes Alpha.” you whimpered and walked over to the stall. You absolutely hated this. But an order was an order and you couldn’t say no to the pack master until you were claimed. 

You pulled open the door, the girls inside were crying already, and you knew that tonight would be a rough one. You took each girl, hosed her down, and then chained her up. You put a different girl in each stall, and waited for your father to come back to approve each one. 

Your father walked through each stall, nodding to each girl. He rearranged some, but kept them mostly the way they were. You walked outside as he followed you. “Been hearing rumors you were locking lips with that Declan at the diner today. That true?” Your father asked as you shook your head, “no, he just comes in for lunch and we talk is all, he's real nice. I’d like to go out to dinner with him again tomorrow night after the pack meeting…” You said softly as you sat down on the stool. Your father walked up to you and trapped you between him and the wall, placing his arms on either side of you. “You listen to me Omega, the only reason you ain’t chained up in there is because you’re my daughter! You know damn good and well I can make anything happen to anyone. You wanna be locked up and used like those whores in there?!” He asked, gripping your throat. “Are you a whore, omega?” He growled as you struggled to breathe, clawing at his hand, shaking your head, you whimpered. “Please,” you gasped as he watched you with dead, cold eyes. “Say. It.” He growled. 

You felt the tears running down your cheeks, the pressure of no air entering your body starting to become too much. “Alpha please.” You felt yourself start to lose consciousness. 

As soon as he released his hand, you gasped for air, falling from your spot, you landed on the cold hard ground coughing violently. A tall figure hid in the trees, watching with dark and narrowed eyes. 

As the damp, cold night air sat in more, you kept your place out by the barn, betas and alphas coming up, giving you cash and the magic word, and bam, they were in. You opened the door to let them through, hearing the screams and cries, the moans, the smells. You swallowed thickly, biting back tears as you returned to your seat. Then, Marcus Phillips walked through the treeline, and his two beta buddies, grinning at you from ear to ear. You looked up at him. “Fee’s $100 bucks tonight, and I need the passcode.” you said as he chuckled. “I wanna know how much for you.” he smirked, leaning closer as you leaned back against the barn. “I'm not part of it, I just man the door.” you tried to get as much distance between the two of you, but Marcus wasn’t having it. 

“Oh yeah? Bet ole’ Pack Master would let me have a special taste.” he gripped your jaw scenting you. You pushed at him trying to get away but he moved his grip to your throat, “Easy Omega, or I might end it now.” he snarled. 

A loud growl ripped through the treeline sending a cold chill down everyone's spine, as Marcus fell to the ground, you were grabbed and swung behind a strong, tall figure. “Back off.” a deep, gravely voice growled out. You stared up at the man in shock. “Who the fuck are you?” Marcus smirked as he looked up. 

You shook behind the familiar alpha, your hands clutching to his warm jacket as he growled. “You’re messin with a member of my pack, back off.” His voice had deepened and his body was shaking slightly with anger. “Look caveman, that there is Pack Masters daughter, he decides who has a go at her. NOT you. So why dont you fuck off and let me get my moneys worth.” he stepped forward until Declan grabbed him by the throat, “Do you need a reminder of how two alphas fighting over one omega usually ends?” he growled, narrowing his eyes. 

Marcus’s eyes widened as he struggled against his hand, Declan threw him down on the ground and stood over him. “I’d say, you lose this one. Go on, before I bring out the old laws.” you stayed close to Declan as the three boys took off through the trees. You hadn’t realized you’d been crying until Declan looked down at you, his features softening as he wrapped you up against his chest inside his jacket. “Come on, you’re coming home with me.” you whimpered and shook your head. “I can’t leave, my father won’t let me…the night isn’t done.” you whispered. Declan looked down at your confusion covering his features before he looked at the barn, the smell and sounds finally hitting him. “Jesus Christ. What the fuck is going on?” You whimpered quietly as he looked from the barn to you, then back to the barn, it took less than a second for him to piece it together. “You’re not staying here. You’re in danger here.” he held you closer to him, the anger radiating from his body as he snarled in the direction of the barn, before he pulled you back through the trees. 

You knew your father would be angry, “I won’t be able to return home,” you whispered quietly as you looked up at him, tears in your eyes. Declan stopped and looked down at you, his features softening as he pulled you into his arms once more. “Shhh, you don’t have to worry about that anymore, you can stay with me, and everything will be fine. I promise, I’m going to fix all of this, no omega should be put through this type of torture.” he kissed your head smoothing your hair as you sobbed into his chest. 

Tag List:

@notebooks-of-nonsense @fdl305 @bval-1 @calimoi @syntheticavenger

[seaemberthesecond]

PLEASE tell me all about your textual support for Aurora/Declan, i am LISTENING 👀🙏🏻

This is heinously late and I'm so sorry for that 😭 but this is one of my FAVOURITE things to think about.

Aurora is such an interesting character to me, particularly in relation to Declan. For all that Ronan spends all of TRC furious that Declan has denied Aurora personhood ("She's nothing without Dad") and trying to keep her awake, it's actually through Declan's eyes that she really comes alive. Ronan's version of his mother is more one-dimensional than Declan's, ironically enough, even though he's the one who supposedly 'loves her more.' It's Declan who's spent his life grappling with the philosophical implications of her dreamt-ness and her replacement of his actual mother (which, in a stunning parenting move by Niall, only he seems to remember) and as a result, his feelings toward her are considerably more complicated than his brothers' and he's the only one who really seems to think deeply about her.

The mystery Aurora is shrouded in for Declan turns her into almost this... sinister figure in his mind. It's like - Niall is this known entity for Declan right? He doesn't think of him in nearly the same lionizing light Ronan does, because he actually knew Niall. He doesn't need to create a mythology around him the way Ronan has. His "hatred" for Niall is not only comparitively straightforward, it's self-aware. He knows exactly what his grievances with his father are and he knows that he doesn't even really hate him.

But with Aurora, he skirts around the thought of her. He can't even look his complicated feelings for her head-on. She's inscrutable to him, and that's kind of terrifying in a psych-thriller kind of way.

There's this unease that he associates with her in the text, that's just not there when he thinks about Niall. He's constantly second-guessing himself when it comes to Aurora re: how much did she know, how real she was etc. In Greywaren, there's this part where he's thinking about when he was sick as a child. And it's fascinating to me because there's this implication there that he didn't feel safe in the house with Aurora until Niall came back. He only relaxes and goes to sleep when Niall comes home. And it adds to this general malaise that Declan associates with Aurora.

I've talked before about how the secrets Declan is forced to keep are an allegory of sexual abuse, and in that light it's kind of damning when you consider that in the Lynch household, the arbiter of secrets is Aurora, not Niall. Throughout the Declan Christmas short, it's Aurora who's reinforcing the importance of secrets, who makes him help her hide them. She's the one who tells Declan that he has to keep Matthew's origin a secret. And in MI, it's Aurora who first tells Ronan that he needs to hide his dreaming and never show his dreams to anyone. So if we're looking at the text through the lens of allegory-for-csa, Aurora's position in the household becomes much more sinister because a lot of the harm that's been done to the kids and particularly Declan is attributable directly to her.

And then there's the fact that all the Ashleys' looked like her - there's something Freudian going on there for sure.

tl;dr while the textual evidence is slim lol it is there if you wanna see it and I am looking with a magnifying glass. Was any of this done with authorial intent? Probably not, but who cares?

And this is where stuff diverts from the text itself and veers more into my spin on things, but everything about Aurora/Declan becomes insanely compelling to me when you think about it in relation to Mor. Mor is the hole inside Aurora. Imagine you're a young woman who was molested her whole life by a family member and now you're out-of-touch with your own emotions and you have this kid and you think you love him with this man and you think you love him too. But you know you're fucking them up, so you and your husband dream a version of you that's perfect. She's the perfect wife and the perfect mother and you've sanded down all the edges and sharp, spiky parts that make you you because you think that's the version of yourself your family deserves and then you leave. But you can't dream anything without putting your pain inside it. So you have this hollow half-woman walking around with a pain inside her she doesn't know how she got and a life she doesn't remember and the only person who seems to have any answers is this kid that she think is her own but is he really? And in her attempt to feel the shape of the hole in her she re-enacts your trauma on your kid.

I am EATING GLASS. The cycles are CYCLING. NO ONE talk to me.

[canirove]

Rice, Rice, baby | Chapter 20

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“Olivia, where do you think you are going?” my mum asks me as I walk down the stairs.

“To work?” 

“Don't you have a doctor's appointment to attend to today?”

“Yes, this afternoon.”

“What? I thought you said it was in the morning! I changed my shift to go with you!”

“I'm sorry, mum. But they called yesterday at the last minute saying that they had to reschedule it.”

“And why didn't you tell me?”

“I forgot” I shrug.

But I actually hadn't forgotten. I had been the one calling my doctor asking her if we could reschedule my appointment to the afternoon so Declan could come with me since he didn't have training. This was my first scan since I had told him everything, and he wanted to be there with me.

“Oh, Liv… I wanted to be there with you! Today they will definitely tell you if it's a boy or a girl!”

“I'm sorry, mum. You know I have too many things in my head right now and…”

“I know” she says, taking my hand on hers and giving it a little squeeze. “But I still wanted to be there for you. Your dad is already missing it since he is at that talk in Manchester.”

“I know. He was so excited…”

“He was” she says. “But who will be going with you then?”

“Kennedy.”

“What? Why her?”

“She was free and offered to come with me.”

“And Alex? He hasn't been to any scan yet, and he is the father of your child in case you have forgotten.”

“I have not, no” I sigh.

“Liv… I don't know what happened between you two and I respect your choice to not tell us… But in a few months there will be a baby, and they deserve to have a mother and a father that will take care of them.”

“They will have that, don't worry” I say. Because if Declan keeps his promise, our baby will have us both in their life. Maybe not together like a couple, but we will be there for them. “And I better go, I don't want to be late.”

“Ok. But be careful with the car and keep me updated about the doctor's appointment.”

“I will, mum. I promise. I love you” I say, kissing her cheek.

“I love you too, Olivia” she smiles. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Hi, sorry I'm late” I say, getting into Declan's car. “There was a problem with that bloody coffee machine again, the technician wasn't picking up the phone, and then the power went out for an hour. It was a bit chaotic and… Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?”

“Uh?”

“My face. Is there something on it? I had pasta for lunch, so maybe I didn't clean all the tomato sauce.”

“There is no tomato sauce” Declan says.

“Then why are you looking at me like that?”

“How?”

“Like… that” I say, moving my hand in the air. 

“You look beautiful today.”

“What?” I say with a nervous laugh, my cheeks already starting to burn.

“I mean, you always look beautiful. But today, a lot more.” 

“Well… ummm… thanks.”

“You're welcome” Declan smiles. “Now, should we get going? I don't want us to be late to meet the little one.”

“Yes, of course” I reply, putting on my seatbelt. Or trying to.

“Here, let me help you.” 

The moment our hands touch and he looks up, it's like we've traveled back in time to the day we met. I can feel the same electricity I felt when our fingers first touched running through my whole body, my mind starting to get lost once again in that shade of blue I had never seen before. 

“I hope they get your eyes. And your eyelashes.”

“What?” Declan says, his hands still on mine.

“The baby. I hope they get your eyes. They are the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.” Woah, Olivia. Intense much? 

“Thank you” he replies with a shy smile. Wait a minute… Declan Rice getting shy after I have complimented him? Since when? I am the one who starts giggling and feeling her face on fire, not him. “And this is done.”

“What is?”

“The seatbelt, Liv.”

“Oh, yes, yes. Pregnant brain, you know” I say with a stupid laugh. Yeah, making a fool of myself in front of him hasn't changed.

“Is that a thing?”

“Yep.”

“Interesting” he smirks. Now that is the Declan I am used to. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I'm fine.”

“Ok. Then let's go see our baby” he says, letting go of my hand and making me miss his touch. But it doesn't last long, because he moves it to caress my bump, something he would do again a few more times while we are stopped at a red light, the warmest and fuzziest feeling ever filling my chest. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Ok, let's check how the little one is today, shall we?” my doctor smiles while I give Declan's hand a little squeeze. I've had to grab it to make him stop fidgeting, he is so nervous…

“Woah, what is that noise?” he asks. 

“That's their heartbeat” I tell him.

“Really? Is that normal?”

“It is, don't worry. It means they are very healthy” the doctor explains. 

“And I thought mine was beating fast…” 

“Welcome to the club” I chuckle. “Are they in the right position today?” In my previous scan it had been impossible to tell if they were a boy or a girl. 

“They are yes. Do you want me to tell you now or are you planning a gender reveal?”

“Oh no, I hate those. Declan?” 

“Uh?” he says, his eyes still fixed on the screen. He is… Oh my God, he is crying.

“Dec, hey. Are you ok?” I ask him, squeezing his hand again.

“Yeah, yeah, I just… That's my child” he says, quickly wiping away his tears. 

“It is, yes” I smile, trying not to cry too.

“Anyway, the gender” he says, composing himself. “Is it possible to know later on our own?”

“Of course” my doctor says. “We'll give you an envelope with the results so you can open it when you are ready.”

“And photos too?”

“Photos too” she smiles.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“So, how do we do it?” Declan asks me once we are back in his car.

“How do we do what?”

“The envelope, Liv” he says. “Do you want to do it here or should we go somewhere special?”

“Actually, now that you mention it… Can we go to that restaurant where you took me when we left the lionesses game? I've been dreaming about the cake we ate for the past weeks.”

“First craving?” he asks, starting the car.

“Oh, no. My first craving was Cadbury chocolate.”

“You are always eating chocolate, Liv” he chuckles. “That isn't new.”

“But now it's gotten worse.”

“How can it be worse than liking literally anything made with chocolate?”

“I have to keep a bar on my bedside table because I wake up hungry in the middle of the night and it is the only thing I want to eat. And it has to be Cadbury chocolate, just that one. One morning I woke up hugging it.”

“What?” Declan laughs.

“Yeah” I shrug. “I think it is because the baby has your sweet tooth.”

“My sweet tooth, Liv? Mine?” he laughs again. 

“Yep, yours” I smile. “So if my teeth fall off after eating so much sugar… You are paying for the new ones, you are the millionaire here.”

“Ok” he laughs once again, the rest of our journey to the restaurant filled with more of his loud laugh while I just smile like an idiot. Had I missed that? God knows I had.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Is it as good as you remembered?”

“Better” I say, cake spilling from my mouth. So elegant, Olivia.

“Here, let me help you” Declan chuckles, cleaning my chin with his napkin, his other hand holding my face. I wonder if he can feel my cheeks getting warmer and warmer by the second. “Done.”

“Thank you” I whisper.

“So… Should we open the envelope before they kick us out due to you eating all their cake?” he says with a teasing smile.

“Ha ha ha” I reply, rolling my eyes. “But yeah, let's do it. It's in my bag.”

“Ok” he says, taking it and moving his chair next to mine. “Are you ready?”

“Are you?”

“I asked first, Liv.”

“I know. But your hand is the one that's shaking, not mine” I say, holding it like I did during our doctor's appointment.

“Sorry” he smiles. “Anyway, ready?”

“Ready” I smile back.

“And baby Rice is…”

“I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!” I laugh, hitting his arm.

“Ouch, Liv!”

“I knew it was going to be a boy! You only have brothers and they only have boys! It's like you only carry the male gene!”

“I actually have a niece too, remember?”

“The exception that confirms my theory.”

“You look quite happy about it” Declan chuckles. “Did you want a boy?”

“I just wanted a healthy baby. But since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I pictured a boy” I shrug.

“With my blue eyes?” he smirks.

“With your blue eyes and hopefully a smaller head.”

“What?” he laughs.

“I know most of it is hair but… Yeah. I don't want something that big coming out of my…”

“Oh my God, Olivia” Declan laughs again.

“Sorry” I shrug. “Anyway, should we ask for more cake in honour of our little boy?”

“Ok. But just one slice, and we'll share it.”

“What?” 

“You just said you don't want a big baby, and if you keep eating like this…”

“Idiot” I reply, hitting him again. “But fine, ok. Just one slice.”

“And then we are going for a walk to help with your digestion.”

“Yes, mum” I sigh.

“If I'm being annoying is because I care about you, Liv. Both of you” he says, caressing my bump.

“I know, Declan. I know” I say, smiling like an idiot once again. 

[invisibleicewands]

WORTH A LOOK?: *****

WHEN?: Saturday 24 February, opens 6 March and runs through 11 May 2024 RUNTIME: 160 minutes (including a 20-minute interval)

A grieving son wraps his dying miner father in his arms, apologises for everything he could have done better to look after him and vows to make good by helping others.

The son is Aneurin ‘Nye’ Bevan, the Labour politician and founder of the National Health Service on 5 July 1945, and Nye is the warts-and-all story of the man who would improve the health of countless millions of us and how he did it.

Nye died almost 15 years to the day he founded the NHS from stomach cancer and the conceit here is that he’s in hospital at the end of his life having a fever dream and wanders, pink pyjama-clad, through moments of importance.

Reading the article by former Labour leader Neil Kinnock in the programme about Bevan we discover his education was cut short at 13 when he followed his miner father down the pits to work in 1910.

In an almost reverse of film Dead Poets Society we meet the bullying schoolteacher who would cane a young Nye because of his speech impediment, the classmates who would protect him and the very Manic Street Preachers-like realisation that free libraries could give him the power to overcome his stammer by finding alternative words to those he could not utter.

Riffing on Dennis Potter’s Singing Detective Sheen’s Nye even sings Judy Garland’s Get Happy at 1 point as he and his miner colleagues use the time unemployment has afforded them to bone up on the way their home town of Tredegar in Wales is run and get themselves elected onto the boards of the bodies involved to finally do good by its people.

From our 4th row seats we see director Rufus Norris, also outgoing artistic director and chief executive of the National Theatre, tread the boards at the beginning of this 1st preview to remind us as such there might have to be a pause in proceedings because of the freshness of the material but perhaps 1 of the reasons its star Sheen is beaming so much during the curtain call (see picture below) is because it all actually went so well.

The action is staged as if in a hospital ward for much of the time with beds on wheels used to great effect and curtains around beds featuring prominently and at 1 point, rather brilliantly, lowering to become rows of seats in Parliament.

Tony Jayawardena (Marjorie Prime, Menier) is quite brilliant as Nye’s nemesis Winston Churchill, a man who succeeds in doing what Labour were unable to by uniting all classes in opposition to world war.

Sharon Small (Good, Harold Pinter Theatre) is more than a match for a revelatory performance by Sheen, at 1 point seemingly channelling the boyish enthusiasm of a young Declan Donnelly from Ant and Dec, as she explains the sacrifices she made to support her husband.

There’s a lot of injustice to make the audience angry here and there’s some terrific political theatre in London at the moment to both challenge the mind and make the heart soar – An Enemy Of The People and Standing At The Sky’s Edge for example.

Like the outstanding Dear England, this is an example of a venue at the top of its game doing exactly what it should be doing in offering insight into stories of those who have shaped our country and influenced the people we have become.

---------

Another one who sang "Get Happy":

[girl-named-matty]

My last paper - Matty Ambrose

synopsis ✧ Matty is closing in on her final year of Hogwarts. For her last assignment in Professor Weasley's class, she's been asked to write a paper about herself. It can be anything as long as it has something to do with her. So without spilling all the secrets of her diary, she jots down some of the most important things in her life.

word count ✧ 2.5k

a/n ✧ This is my entry for the HL edition of my November writing prompts. Week one "Backstory". Hope you all enjoy!

"Well, this is my last paper I’ll ever write for school.

Three years have gone by all too fast. I’m in my last week of school at Hogwarts. For our last assignment, Professor Weasley asked us to write a paper on ourselves. About things we know, we remember, etc.… So really, just about anything as long as it was about us.

She said it was a good way to reflect on our past before we step into adulthood and the real world. And it’s just for us; we don’t have to show anybody if we don’t want to. I’ll probably have to stop a few times during this paper to go cry my eyes out, but who knows?

Hello, I am Matthew Loraine Ambrose. Yep, my name is Matthew, and I really like the name, to be honest. Although I’ve gone by “Matty” my whole entire life, if you call me Matthew, I’ll probably be terrified of you for a few moments since the only time someone uses my real name is my parents when they’re upset at me—which doesn’t happen often. But just be warned.

I was named after my paternal grandfather. My grandfather Matthew. I never met him, as he died before I was born. But after his death, my Da always swore he’d name his first child after his father.

Well, I’m the first and only child in my family, so I was the one that ended up with the name. I’d get teased for it whenever someone found out it was my real name, but honestly, I don’t care much. I think it’s a good way to honor the family member I never got to meet.

I was born in Dublin, Ireland, on April 26th, 1875. I grew up right beside my mother's side of the family—we lived right next to each other as neighbors. So I grew up surrounded by my aunts, uncles, cousins, and my mother's parents. It was the best start to my childhood that I could ever ask for. Near the people I loved the most who I knew loved me.

I often remember visiting my Nana and Granda’s house, sitting around their big stone fireplace with my cousins. I spent every Christmas there.

As for my grandmother, my parents and I tried to visit her as much as we could. She lived a bit away from Dublin, in Carlingford, Ireland. It was only her living in that little old house. I could tell she was lonely since my grandfather passed, but she always had the biggest smile on her face. Eventually, she did actually end up leaving Carlingford to come live with my mum’s side of the family.

My Mum and Da grew up together, so naturally, the families knew each other. Grandfather and Grandmother only left Dublin after my Da was grown and married. So it was no surprise that after she was left alone, she moved back. Both sides of my family are close, so they see each other as family blood related or not. I miss them a lot ever since leaving Ireland.

As for my friends, growing up, I had a really good friend named Declan. His family lived near mine, and he was always obsessed with my Granda’s boat—which is how we met. He wanted to grow up and become a sailor. Almost eighteen years later, I was told he finally did become one, and he’s somewhere out there on the ocean.

Declan and I did almost everything together. He was a bit of a delinquent, to be honest, but he was fun, and my parents thought he was a good kid, just a little misguided. Apparently he liked me at the time, and looking back, I probably liked him too. But we were just too young to understand what that was. I’m sure he’ll meet some wonderful person out there who’s capable of handling his personality, if you understand what I mean, of course.

He had brown hair that was always messy. I don’t think I remember a single time it looked neat. He had freckles all over his face. And for some reason, his appearance said a lot about him.

(At this point in my paper, I had stopped to show it to my best friend Hope. She told me I had a “type” in men, and I think that was just her way of calling Sebastian a delinquent. Should I be offended?)

Anyway, I still consider him to be my first best friend. We had a lot of good times together. I do hope he’s doing well out there.

My Da is a carpenter, and he likes to “invent” (as he calls it) all these little trinkets and things. He’s quite the intelligent man, really, and they are honestly quite useful. But his main job is carpentry. When I was seven, my Da and his business partner, Mr. Athy, wanted to expand their business opportunities. That ended up in them deciding that London would be the best place for them to go.

The business move was sponsored by Mr. Athy’s aunt, Alice Hammond, who lived in London. To be honest, she’s the scariest woman I’ve ever seen in my life. The business was dependent on her for the first two years but eventually broke out of that, and it's very successful now. Mrs. Hammond still seems entitled to our lives though—I don’t think that’s something we’ll ever escape.

Moving to London was quite hard. I spoke English, so that was no problem. But I still had a thick accent and hadn’t yet adapted to the area around me. Not to mention—being from Ireland—I wasn’t exactly sure how people would treat us.

We moved in next to a family of the name McGowan, and they came over to meet us that same day. They had a daughter my age, Hope (who I mentioned earlier). When we first met, she could hardly understand what I was saying because of my accent, yet she took the time to listen to me anyway. From that day on, we were best friends.

Ironically, I ended up finding out my best friend was a witch only because we bumped into each other on the first day of school when I finally attended Hogwarts. I had always found it quite weird how she went off to a school miles away for several months every year, but I never questioned it. Then I found myself at the same school years later. It was surprising, to say the least. Especially because I had no knowledge of the wizarding world until I was fifteen years old.

While in London, I also made friends with two girls named Eugenia and Nora. They are two of my close friends from home. All of these people in my life have helped me shape into the person I am today.

When I was fifteen, a man of the name Eleazar Fig showed up at my doorstep. I was terrified, to say the least. I had found the acceptance letter mere moments before he knocked on the door to my house—I freaked out mentally. I didn’t know how my parents would react. He was already inside by the time I had gathered my senses.

But my parents didn’t freak out; in fact, they were extremely supportive of me. It was surprising, that’s for sure, but truly they wanted me to do what made me happy.

I stayed in London for one more month while Professor Fig mentored me and taught me the basics of the Wizarding World and the magic therein. I love reading, but I don’t think I’ve ever read so many books in one month before then—it was a lot.

Then it came time for me to actually go to Hogwarts. Usually, students go on this train called “The Hogwarts Express,” however, Fig and I—and a friend of his, George Osric—traveled by flying carriage. Now that was an experience for sure. Long story short, I could definitely see Thestrals by the time we made it to the school.

The first day brought a lot of change in my life—most of it I wasn’t expecting, or at least thinking that it’d make that big of an impact on my life. I met many wonderful people, but just to name a few—

I met a boy named Sebastian Sallow, and the first thing I ever did was beat him in a duel. He’s now my boyfriend of almost two years, and we’re planning on getting married whenever the opportunity shows itself. I met a boy named Garreth in my common room. He was a bit silly to me at first, but now he’s dating my best friend. I’m hoping the safe side of his creative genius will rub off on their kids.

I met my dormmates, Nellie and Natty. Those two girls have helped me through more than they think. I could always go to them if I needed. And as I mentioned earlier, I bumped into my best friend that day as well.

Soon after, I met Esme, who has taught me a lot in the three years I’ve known her. Ominis, who has had the hardest life out of us all and yet still cares so much about others. He was a bit intimidating at first—after all, the first time I met him, he was yelling at me, but he was sweet after I got to know him for a bit. And if I remember correctly—Esme was yelling too. But she was yelling at Sebastian for stealing her diary. I suppose those two really are a match made in heaven.

Other friends I met are Leander, Amit, Zerena, Poppy, Cressida, Adelaide, and even a girl named Imelda, who I honestly clashed with for a while, but we’re surprisingly good friends now. She started respecting me only after I became Gryffindor’s Quidditch Captain, and honestly, I’m not even mad for it taking that long. It’s just cool that I’ve earned that.

It’d take all the paper in Hogwarts for me to write down every friend I’ve made and their impact on my life, so I’ll try to keep this brief. But truly, I think coming here has been the best decision ever. My mentor and professor, Eleazar Fig, unfortunately passed away before the end of my starting year here. That hit me harder than anything, but his death encouraged me to keep going even after he was no longer here. He wished for me to do so to make sure that Hogwarts was protected, so I did just that.

Many of the other professors here have taught me many wonderful things and important life lessons. I truly believe each and every one of them cherishes their jobs and their students (well, maybe besides Professor Black, but that’s a different discussion), and that’s what makes the school how it is.

In summary, the past three years were crazy. I went from some random girl in London who didn’t know what she wanted in her life to the “Hero of Hogwarts,” who knew exactly what she wanted to do and pursue.

I fought and defeated Ranrok, Rookwood, and Harlow all in one year—not to mention the countless other things I was doing for other people. My sixth year at Hogwarts consisted of me doing mass research of Isidora Morganach after meeting her last descendant, which was crazy even of itself, and then I was betrayed by that descendant later that same year. What a time to be alive.

This year has arguably been the craziest year of my life. I used to think not much could compete with my fifth year, but I guess the universe decided to take that as a challenge. Because of Apollo opening the repository and trying to kill me—it left me with no choice but to take the magic myself to ensure that it was kept in good hands. I’d do whatever needed to be done in order to keep it safe.

I unfortunately got the blunt end of it—nightmares, sickness, insomnia, exhaustion, and so much more. And at points in time, I didn’t even have control over my own body, which led to “me” doing some horrible things.

I faced off with a psychopathic escapee from Azkaban whose only mission in life was to kill me—basically, her interesting "lover" second in command who pretended to be my professor, two of Ominis’ older brothers—one who blackmailed me into helping him put the other into prison and the other who was working with Leona (the psychopathic Azkaban escapee) who was also trying to kill me.

So, pretty much everybody had it out for me this year. Yet miraculously, I’m alive.

But regardless of how many things happened this year, good was still present. My relationship with Sebastian has never been stronger. I truly want to spend the rest of my life with this man. He spends every day of his life getting better, making up for his past, and setting up for a good future. My friendship with many others is very strong too, especially those who were by my side all year.

Anne—Sebastian’s sister, who has been cursed for many years now—was finally cured. She’s still recovering, as the cure was only a reversal of the curse, but she’s doing much better. She’s happy now, a smile on her face almost all the time. I never realized just how much she and Sebastian looked alike until recently.

Oh, I—and the both of them—met their aunt. Yes, the one everybody thought was dead. Even through all the crazy things that happened to me this year, I still think that’s the craziest.

I feel like I’m dragging on here, but this paper hardly captures just everything that’s happened in my life—mainly in the past three years. Luckily, I have diaries for that.

But in conclusion, no matter how hard it’s been, coming to Hogwarts has been the best decision I’ve ever made. I’ve learned so much, met lifelong friends, met my future husband, and already have my future career set up for me. It’s bittersweet to say goodbye, especially since I only got to spend three years here instead of the usual seven, but nonetheless, I’m lucky that I made it.

I’m a better person than I was then. I’ve saved lives, helped others, and now that’s my mission in life. To continue to help others with the gift I have. Professor Fig once told me that this magic just doesn’t come to anybody who wants it and that it's given to those who will do good with it. He pretty much gave me an assignment for life right then and there, and I took it up.

Even if life is hard and sometimes it feels like I want to give up, I know that it was all worth it to keep trying.

And regardless of all the things I’ve gone through, at least my kids will think I’m cool. :)"

[adambasilica]

okay normal things:

raven cycle and the scorpio races.

a family of three siblings, religious, orphaned. disharmony between the oldest and the other two- puck loves gabe and will do anything to get him to stay. ronan hates declan and wants him to leave. despite that, ronan and puck are very much the same. they love their home and want desperately to stay. declan/gabe desire more. ronan/puck can’t understand why their older brother is so blatantly rejecting them (they conflate a rejection of their home as a rejection of their personhood because they’re so connected to it). this is where we see the divergence- ronan responds with anger, rage, pushing away. puck responds in desperation, pulling him in closer. neither option work. both are strong emotional reactions. both deeply love their brothers.

it’s about the loss of a childhood home, the life they’d always known. i actually go insane over characters who have already found belonging and don’t desire anything past it. the people that fight to stay. ahhh! thanks maggie.

sean/adam parallels now. they’re different, but my god look at them. sean and adam both resent their fathers for different reasons. sean doesn’t respect his father for the way he died, adam doesn’t respect his father for the way that he lived. both vow to never be like their fathers. sean/adam are hardworking, dedicated, indentured in some manner. sean needs corr, adam needs money/freedom/more. they resent those that have what they want, who could take everything from them. they take the abuse given to them by the people who hold that power, and they also try to establish their own power where they can. dog eat dog world (horse eat man world?) both think they only need themselves. sean/adam are both incredibly capable, and it is recognized, yet they don’t feel it to be so.

also, the consistent breaking down of cars, naming of said cars, me crying because i don’t understand or like cars, and they never work.

anyway. the books are different, and they’re the same. it makes me so insane. that is all

[yathmcclane]

the Lynch brothers having 3 kids each, because they wanted their kids to experience the same childhood and brotherhood they had as kid (or st least the good parts)

Declan and jordan having triplets which hennessy laughed at when she heard the news, identical triplet girls.

Ronan and Adam Creating their kids, they were created like ronan, creature from the other side who loved the human world wanted to pass over, they end up having 3 boys, almost a copy of ronan besides the freckles and brown almost blond hair, it was a coincidence that they are the same age apart as the lynchs brothers were.

Mathew adoption 3 dream kids, while exploring the world and trying to find himself Mathew found dream kids on his travels, sleeping kids in hospitals who went to sleep after one of their parents died and never woke up, after the first one he wondered how many are out there, he ends up finding 3, and adopting them and with the help of Hennessy and Jordan creative sweetmetal necklace for the kids.

In Henrietta everyone knows summer arrives when the Lynch kids are working on the farm.

Declan and Mathew leaving their kids at the barn to spend the summer with in the old family home with Adam and Ronan and their 3 boys.

working the field or going to the farmers market to sell the product, money going to the kids summer fund for fun stuff (even though they don't need the many is a way to teach the kids responsibility.)

as the kids grow they still go ever summer to the barns with the difference that they also go out at night (or sneak out)

being from the lynch family and having Ronan as an Uncle they got a taste for racing and good cars.

having Hennessy as a aunt the triplets got a dream car for their 16 birthday.

Being the boys dreamer they worked together to dream their dream car (a copy of the bmw, Adam would never let the kids drive the bmw know who their other father was, he told them if they could dream a car they would let them get it.

which to Adams surprise and Ronan's delight they did it.

and now the oldest boy takes their brother to drive through Henrietta or do wheel around the barn much to Adams And Ronan's worries (which Adam calls it karma for how Ronan was at that age)

Mathews kids just had to ask nicely to get a car and join their cousins on the streets.

and of course Gansey and blue's kids can't miss, a boy and a girl, driving the orange camaro.

more about the kids

the triplets are Declans girls, he a daddies girl, always having to remember not to spoil them, but it is hard but they look so much to their mother.

The girls adore their aunt Hennssey and uncle Ronan much to Declan and Jordan feelings about them following in their footsteps with the leather jackets and fast cars.

Ronan could never be disappointed in his Boys, they are his and Adams pride. it was scary the first time, when the first boy came they just received a "call" from lindenmere and like niall and mor they understood what the forest was asking them.

by their third boy they knew it would be the last, maybe it was connected to Ronans desire for a family like his or adams desire for the family he never had but it was like it just knew what they wanted.

3 boys, just like Ronan and his brothers, boys who looked like a knock off copy of their father (one of them at least)

-

More oh this, in the Lynch household (Ronan and adam) there's a tradition, when the boys turn 16 they shave their head just like his father, it started when the oldest did it, then the second one followed his footsteps and by the third they call it a tradition.

Adam would miss their boys curly hair.

the boys favorite uncle is Gansey. much to Gansey surprised, while gansey was still the same glasses and books nerds the lynch boys were more of the farm boys, sport type, learning to box from Ronan, driving quad bikes around the barn and forest.

they always run towards gansey every visit tackling him, which always makes everyone laugh, some more louder than others.

[theskymahtin]

Still on my Dreamer Trilogy reread. Don't know if anyone has pointed this out before (probably don't care) but Bryde-- dreamt by Ronan to be the answer to all of his problems, to guide him, to be the father figure he lost, to be all the things Ronan feels like he's lacking, solid in the way Ronan never can be-- is like DEFINITELY a conglomerate of all of the men Ronan looks up to or has looked up to throughout his life. ESPECIALLY Gansey, I think. The way he's described as looking like a storybook hero with features suspiciously like Gansey's and this quote: "There was something about the way he stood there now with his hands in the pockets of his jacket, his expression expectant, that made him seem familiar. Every so often Ronan felt like he almost recognized him, and then it went away again." Like, Gansey has been such a constant in Ronan's life for years now, possibly the only thing really keeping him moored to shore, and now he's gone off without Ronan (remember if you will the jealousy of Gansey taking Adam to that party without him) and Ronan is UNMOORED. In need of DIRECTION. In need of CONNECTION. And hails from the sky the perfect storybook hero to push his limits, to take him on an adventure, to take the weight of problem-solving and decision-making and future-planning off of Ronan's shoulders because he doesn't want it and never has. Of course, Bryde also has a lot of Niall and Declan in him, along with whatever extra spice Ronan’s subconscious fed into him. Bryde has the mysterious, almost bland disposition of Declan while also having the penchant for danger and storytelling (ONE OF THE FIRST TIMES HE COMES TO RONAN IN DREAMS HE SAYS "ARE YOU GOING TO BE QUIET?") of their father (of course Declan also has things things but fuck if Ronan knows that or is going to acknowledge it). I'd suspect there's a bit of Adam in him too, in Bryde's mistrustfulness and secret-keeping........ much to think about . Much indeed

[clotpolesonly]

Declan's hair in tvTRC; a dissection

ok i'm sure you guys have been waiting with bated breath for me to weigh in on this particular subject (lol) but i needed a hot minute to collect my thoughts on the matter. turns out i've got quite a few, go figure.

first things first: i am contractually obligated to say it's a goddamn travesty of a departure from canon to make Declan fucking BLOND and why the FUCK did they do that??? i was screaming in dms the second he showed up on screen, my sister can attest to how far i threw my phone across the couch in my outrage. i mean, honestly who suggested that?? turn on ur location i just wanna talk

-deep breath-

okay got that out of my system

so we all knew immediately that it was stupid as shit and entirely unnecessary...............but i've got a confession to make

i don't hate it

at least, not anymore. i'm actually kinda fascinated by what they've done here and what it adds to Declan's character/what it says about him psychologically. especially because he doesn't stay blond -- his hair is only like that for a little under half of the first season, though it's unclear how long he's had it like that before (tv)canon starts.

what the show has done here is given Declan a relationship with his hair that's not entirely dissimilar to the one that Ronan has. it's never said explicitly i don't think, in either the books or the show, that Ronan shaved his hair off because 1) he looks too much like his dad with it long and 2) it's something that he can control, but it very much comes through anyway, and the same applies to Declan here.

both boys -- all three boys, actually, but Ronan and Declan especially, more than Matthew -- are made in Niall's image. they resemble him very strongly. they look in the mirror and, for better or for worse, they see their father, and that's something that becomes really fucked up and complicated when your father is murdered, and when you hate him, and when you're afraid of becoming him, and when you miss him.

Ronan dealt with it one way (shaving it all off, making himself unique) and Declan here dealt with it another way (distancing himself from his father, yes, but also doing it in a way that made him more similar to Matthew). (and to his mother, which is a point i'll come back to later; you know the scene i'm talking about.)

Declan is a control freak of epic proportions, we all know this, and seeing it manifest in changes to his hair is not remarkable i don't think, esp in conjunction with how meticulously he manages his wardrobe. everything in his life feels outside of his control, so he grasps at what he can to feel secure. that's textbook.

then he fights with Ronan. most of the scene plays out more or less as it does in the book, but i want to draw your attention this bit of dialogue --

Gansey: "Why are you even here?" Declan: "I don't need to explain myself to you, I can go wherever I like. Free country and all." Ronan: "Then you're free to go somewhere else." Gansey: "Ronan... Declan, just go." Declan: "He's failing almost all his classes. What, Ronan, did you think I didn't know? Your teachers call me every time you skip class, dumbass, you keep going like this and you're going to -- " [Ronan tries to punch him again, Gansey intervenes] Gansey: "That's enough, both of you! Look, Declan, I'm not saying you're wrong, but you are not Niall Lynch, and you never will be." Ronan: [scoffs] "Not looking like that. You and your bimbo girlfriend get a 2-for-1 special at the salon?" Gansey: "Ronan, knock it off." Declan: "Believe it or not, I'm trying to help you." Ronan: "Well, I don't. And I'll never forgive you."

the salon comment is a petty side swipe that made me snortlaugh ngl, but it's also a direct acknowledgement from Ronan that what Declan is doing with his hair is Declan, in his own way, trying to distance himself from Niall while simultaneously trying (and failing) to fill his shoes. he's shining a spotlight on Declan's biggest source of internal conflict in a way that's both casually cruel (Ronan's specialty tbh) and humiliatingly dismissive. what an effective jab at someone like Declan who is, underneath his deliberately unremarkable exterior, every bit as proud as Ronan is. he's trying to be Niall and he's failing so badly even Gansey's begging him to stop, and he's trying to be Not Niall and he's so obvious about it as to be pathetic and laughable.

it's notable that the blond doesn't stay much longer. we only see it once more -- delivering his ultimatum to Ronan through Adam as he gatekeeps Declan at monmouth, a confrontation i must note is between a natural blond (Adam) and a fake one (Declan), and no words are exchanged about it but we do get a rather pointed look at the hair from Adam right before he delivers his line about fighting and it being "Ronan's thing" that makes Declan back off -- before we get to the biggest departure from Declan's canon arc and what i really want to talk about:

✨ the dorm room dye job ✨

this is, honestly, my favorite non-book-canon scene in this adaptation so far. that probably does not surprise anyone, because i am me, but hear me out!!!

let's run through what we actually get in this scene:

- Matthew asking Declan what he, Matthew, is doing in the morning, and Declan rattling off Matthew's entire schedule for the week, all while nagging him through his bedtime routine - Declan texting Ronan repeatedly and getting left on read - Declan trying and failing to sleep (intercut with Ronan and Gansey sharing insomnia time), growing more restless and texting Ronan some more until Ronan blocks his number and the texts stop being delivered - Declan going to their suite's bathroom to dig out a cheap dusty box of hair dye from the back of the cabinet and rushing through the process of mixing and applying it while Matthew sleeps - Declan staring at himself in the mirror and then smearing dye across his reflection

obviously, exactly none of this is book canon, and i don't not understand why some fans are crying foul on screentime they consider "wasted". should priority have been given to book canon elements and scenes? yeah, probably, and there are things that didn't make it into the show that i would've been glad to sacrifice this scene for, HOWEVER i want to talk about why this scene, as presented, within this slightly alternate show canon, is worth its screen time imo.

the show is really making an effort toward expanding the characters and relationships outside the insular gangsey -- the fox way ladies and the Gansey family have both gotten subplots, and much more attention is being paid to the Lynch bros than we got canonically this early in TRC.

without being inside the POVs of Ronan's friends like we are in the books, it makes sense that we get to see Declan more objectively for the overburdened teenager that he is. we get to actually SEE him being relied upon to manage and parent Matthew, day and night, no breaks. sharing even a bedroom with him, there is no reprieve and no retreat from that responsibility.

and we see him trying to manage Ronan too, which is overbearing and aggressive, yes, but we also see his preoccupation and his mounting anxiety. the little tics like him tapping his thumb against his thigh and the breathing technique he employees (the same one that Ronan uses in ep 2). unlike when they were brawling in the parking lot, Declan defends Ronan to Matthew ("he probably just lost his phone again" despite all of his messages being read). (this is a characterization tidbit described in Greywaren actually, in case any viewers haven't read TD3, that Declan was always far more understanding of Ronan and his behavior to Matthew than he was in confrontations with Ronan himself).

i digress, anyway, Declan tries repeatedly to get through to Ronan until the messages stop being delivered and Declan (correctly) assumes that Ronan has blocked his number (again).

all that nervous energy boils over and Declan beelines for the bathroom. he obviously knows that the box of dye is in there, he goes right for it. it's ambiguous how long it's been there -- either it was there before they moved into this room, in which case it may have been what inspired Declan to bleach his hair in the first place, or he may have bought it himself months ago and decided not to use it (probably because it's cheap and he usually has higher standards than that lol, he'd rather get it done professionally).

but this is not a moment for standards. this is an impulse. it's rushed and clumsy and jittery. he tears the box getting it open. he fumbles the little conditioner thing. he tosses the instructions aside with barely a glance. his phone is right there on the kitchen counter, always in the frame but face down, conspicuous in just how much Ronan is not texting him back.

this is, as mentioned up top, a bid for control. Ronan is uncontrollable, a variable he cannot account for and a loved one he cannot protect, and so Declan does what a lot of teenagers in fucked up circumstances do -- fucks with his hair before he can think better of it.

the only thing that slows him down is dropping the bottle, which almost wakes Matthew up. Matthew, right over Declan's shoulder in the mirror. Matthew, always in the frame just like the silent phone, always on Declan's mind, never allowed to more than an arm's length away.

Matthew is in the background of this entire scene. every shot of Declan's breakdown, Matthew is there, if indistinctly.

and there's something else about the cinematography that really elevates this scene, and that's the fact that, once Declan enters the bathroom, the entire thing is shot through the mirror. we don't get another shot of Declan straight on to the camera in this episode, we only see his face in reflection. we are seeing Declan seeing himself, which is perhaps the truest way to view him, especially in this moment.

remember that this was catalyzed primarily by Ronan's judgment (and Adam's, and Gansey's). Ronan ridiculed Declan for his hair a few episodes ago, not just for its own sake because it looks ridiculous but specifically in conjunction with talk of their father and Declan's inability to fill his shoes. Ronan essentially called Declan a failure and a phony, and the hair now symbolizes both.

Declan is so so conscious of how he is perceived, constantly thinking of himself within the context of how others think of him rather than engaging in actual self-knowledge. he is his own panopticon and this scene showcases that EXCELLENTLY.

which makes this messy breakdown so interesting, because it is unobserved by anyone but himself and, in the end, he obscures even that. he blacks his hair with bare hands (buddy, that's gonna stain so noticeably afkdjh) and then stands there, staring into the mirror at his own reflection -- at his own failure to perform the identity he's chosen for himself -- until he can't bear to see it anymore, and then he smears the dye along the mirror to block it all out. all that messiness, that vulnerability, hidden even from his own eyes.

and of course i need to touch on the identity of it all. of course i do!! because hair color means something in the Lynch family!! the resemblance the older boys have for Niall is so integral to the family dynamic and how they all relate to and interact with each other. the boys have daddy issues out the wazoo, and you would too if you were Made In Your Father's Image.

for Ronan, looking like dad was a source of pride for a long time, and is now a source of pain. but for Declan, looking like dad is equal parts pain and shame. everything Declan is, so much of his facade, was deliberately constructed to be different from his father -- Niall was reckless, so Declan is careful. Niall was loud, so Declan is staid. Niall was volatile, so Declan is predictable. Niall was eye-catching, so Declan is invisible.

and now, Niall was a brunet, so Declan is blond. it's another step along the road of rebellion against the legacy he inherited. Niall claims god broke the mold, but Declan knows just how similar they are, both physically and in their natural inclinations (though we haven't gotten into the latter much yet in the show). his father is not a man he respected and he is deeply afraid of being too much like him.

Declan bleaching his hair was a reaction to that, and it was a reasonable one, but it was also fundamentally, in both Declan's eyes and Ronan's, a disavowal of his connection to and place in the family. in rejecting his resemblance to dad (and therefore Ronan), Declan functionally declared himself Not A Lynch.

which makes this, dying his hair dark again, a bit of a reclamation? in a way? or, no. that would feel triumphant, and this scene has the definite air of tragedy.

maybe i should say it's a concession instead. the waving of a white flag. it's an admission that trying to disavow his family is a losing game. he cannot cover up what he is. no amount of bleach can wash away his father's blood in his veins. he will never be Niall Lynch, but he will always be Niall Lynch's son, for better or for worse, and there's no point in trying to pretend otherwise.

this scene is Declan giving up on his last desperate bid for an identity separate from the legacy he inherited. there's irony there, and honestly i find it very in keeping with what we get from him in some of the flashback details in TD3. i wrote a meta a while ago about the moth's wooden box and the alexandria townhouse both as symbols of Declan's complicity in his own oppression as a child -- ie, cages that Declan chose to step into of his own volition, because feeling powerless is worse than feeling trapped.

in this context, dying his hair dark again feels very similar. he's feeling powerless and so he makes the choice to figuratively reclaim his position in the family, even if that position is and has always been awful and traumatizing and something he's spent his entire life trying to break free from, because the alternative is to acknowledge that there is nothing that he can do to free himself. he would rather be complicit than helpless.

there may or may not be something to unpack with Declan choosing blond, especially that shade rather than something that would've been more aesthetically fitting for him like a cooler platinum shade. namely that, in distancing himself from his resemblance to Niall, he actually strengthened his resemblance to Matthew and also to Aurora. he could've dyed his hair some middling shade of brown and honestly it would've been far more in line with his desire to be bland and pedestrian, but he chose a hair color that aligned with the other half of his family (the dreamt half of his family).

was it some subconscious desire to replace their mother for Matthew's sake? Matthew was Aurora's favorite, he was the closest to her and undoubtedly the one who took her loss the hardest in the immediate aftermath, and we know that Declan took up the kinds of duties that used to be Aurora's like cooking Matthew good meals and being his emotional support (as best he could).

the fact of Declan taking on Aurora's most defining feature in the aftermath of her falling asleep (to him, functionally, her death) and his staunch refusal recognize her humanity (such as it is) or to engage with her memory is really haunting, imo. honestly, Aurora and his relationship with her is such an underrated factor in Declan's psychology, she had such an enormous impact on him that's rarely discussed in the detail it deserves. here it's like his feelings about her are leaking out of him subconsciously even as he's trying his damnedest to repress them.

or, hell, idk, that might be reading too much into it. it may just have been that blond was as far from his natural color as he could get.

but honestly it doesn't feel coincidental. nothing in this arc does, which surprised the hell out of me as i was watching. "Declan is blond now actually" is the kind of cracky nonsense that should've had me flipping tables, but it turns out, when it's a concept that's actually executed with thought and attention to detail and a real understanding of the character, blond!Declan is something that can actually be so personal.

so

thank you for coming on this journey with me. if you read this far, your brainrot is probably nearly as strong as mine is for writing it. i might write another one later digging into some more of the details from the back half of season 1, but for now, i need to go outside and touch some grass or something. stay tuned i guess. <3

[f1tales]

i was enchanted to meet you - cs55

i was enchanted to meet you || prologue

next part

pairing: carlos sainz x singer!ofc

summary: carlos and lennon meet in baku. everything changes after that.

author's note: i'm quite nervous to be posting this because it's the same trope as that's that me espresso. but i actually wrote this waaaaay before and i want to share it! it's part of a series, in my head at least. i haven't come anywhere near finishing but the vision is there in my head. this part is just the introduction to my ofc, hope you like it!!

faceclaim: none

Lennon Sage Abbott was eighteen years old when she released her first album, she named it Fearless. Not because she wasn’t scared of anything; she was. She was scared of many things. Like, telling her best friend she has a massive crush on him; telling her mother that she broke the expensive vase that her grandmother had gifted years ago; saying ‘no’ in general scares the hell out of her. We can go on and on; the list is endless.

She named the album Fearless cause for once in her life, she was saying everything she was afraid to say before. Except maybe about the vase; Lennon doesn’t think she’ll ever come clean to her mother about it. She confessed to her best friend that she thinks he’s better off with her and that she thinks his girlfriend is bad for him; although he will never ever know it’s about him. And if anyone asks, she’ll lie. She tells her mum about the best days of her life; tells her younger self that it’s not a shame to not have found true love at age fifteen and tells her red-headed friend Emma the same. She writes a song for her two best friends; Mason and Declan. She tells them about how proud she is of them; no matter how many setbacks they will face in their careers: because the walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down and the time will come for us to finally win.

She lashes out at her ex-boyfriend, the one she was with from age fifteen to sixteen. The one who promised her “forever & always”, but that never came. Who promised her he was her prince on the white horse (he wasn’t).  

To her parents, who strongly disapproved of Luke Hemmings. Yes, the Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer. Lennon thought he was the one. She thought he was the love story she was looking for (he wasn’t). She just didn’t know that at the time.

So yes, for once in her life she feels fearless.

She feels like a new girl- no, a new woman when she comes off her Fearless tour. She’s working on her new album, Luke is long forgotten and for the first time in quite some time she has some time off. Her father had started his new job; his dream job. To work in Formula 1 was something Harry Abbott had dreamed about for as long as Lennon could remember. He wasn’t unhappy as physiotherapist for Chelsea FC, not at all. But Formula 1 is where he hoped to be one day.

So when Toro Rosso approached him for a job, the question was not if he’ll take it but when can he start?

Lennon was proud of him; he was following his dreams. Lennon herself didn’t care much for Formula 1. She’d much rather go and watch one of Mason’s matches; or Declan’s. Her brother Beckett however, was quite the opposite. Couldn’t care less about football and would much rather go watch cars go around in circles for about ninety minutes every Sunday.

However, Lennon is more than happy to accept her father’s invitation to come to a Grand Prix weekend. She hasn’t seen him in ages and would love to see him at work again. When Lennon was a little girl he used to take her to the training grounds in Cobham and just sit in a corner of his office as he worked. The players all loved her; sneaking in treats left, right and centre if they knew she was present. That’s how she met Mason and Declan. They played for Chelsea FC’s Youth Academy. To be honest, the two boys weren’t impressed with Lennon when they first met, but Lennon kept sneaking out of her father’s office to go and annoy the two boys. So much so that one day during the school holidays and Lennon couldn’t go with her father because she was home ill, the two boys couldn’t stop looking for her. Harry had to reassure them she was home with a nose cold but would be back to annoy them soon. Her words, not her father’s.

Anyway, we’re getting a bit sidetracked here.

It’s late April 2019 when Lennon’s life completely changes. When she is finally able to visit her father at his new job. In Baku. She hadn’t really heard of the city before, but she was happy to be there. Sorry, getting sidetracked again.

She watched the race; it was okay. She didn’t understand much of it. No, her life changes later that day. In the evening, to be more precise. She meets him in some nightclub in Baku. 

And everything changes. And nothing would ever be the same from that moment.

next part coming soon.

the divider is by @/enchanthings || original post