#decided to limit myself this time to only the stories that i've actually started a file with SOME amount of writing in

[griseldabanks]

WIP Game

Thanks, @general-illyrin; I've done this game before, and I love it!

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I'll separate these into fanfics:

7

Staron proposal + wedding + honeymoon

waves of darkness

See Through My Eyes

burning

Rosie Runs to Rivendell

Cosmic Eclipse - chap7

And original stories:

The Ambassadors

The Family

The Arcblade

bartender story

The Four

[As My Own Soul] (not actually the title of the file, but the placeholder title gives away the big plot twist, so thanks to this game, this story now has a title XD)

Pretty sure I don't know that many writers on here, but if anyone wants to do this, feel free! I'll tag @rainintheevening, @bunnyscar, @sailforvalinor, @thetreasurechest, @captaingondor, and @x-i-l-verify for starters, if this looks like fun to you.

[idiopathicsmile]

School Gymnastics: A Tragicomedy

So one day when we were in third grade, our P.E. teacher divided us into girls and boys. (I don’t remember what the boys had to do. Wrestling? Tackle football? I don’t know, probably not at age nine, but that’s not the point. Gladiatorial combat? I still don’t really understand kids’ sports.)

What matters for this story is that all the girls had to do gymnastics. Now—and I suspect this won’t surprise you if you know literally anything about me—I was always terrible at any form of school athletics. I am intensely, almost impressively uncoordinated. This doesn’t affect my life much at 36, but it was often a miserable way to be a kid. The only playground game I liked was playing pretend, because when you are playing pretend, you don’t have a bunch of people ostensibly on your side screaming in your ear, “Pretend faster! Pretend over there! Pretend with greater accuracy!”

Anyway, gymnastics and my clumsy, doughy little body. I couldn’t do a cartwheel. I couldn’t do a backwards somersault. I couldn't do any of it. We had an entire unit on this business and I literally did not learn how to even safely attempt a single move besides the log roll (lie flat and roll sideways on your belly). In retrospect, this seems like maybe it was in part a teaching problem, not a me problem, but that’s actually not the point either.

The point is, at the end of the unit, we were told to divide ourselves into little teams and choreograph a group gymnastics routine. My group, faced with my long list of limitations (more limitation than girl, really) decide my role will be to just forwards-somersault around the rest of the group as they do their moves. (This is itself kind of embarrassing but trust me, it is but the appetizer.) My friend Ashley has the Lion King soundtrack and we all agree that it is a great choice. The movie has only come out a couple of years earlier, and it of course features some funny, peppy options. 'Hakuna Matata'? 'I Just Can't Wait to Be King'? It's all coming together.

Carried on a wave of youthful enthusiasm, none of us even think to double-check which track Ashley has picked. Foreshadowing!

So the day of the performance comes. Another group goes right before us. They had picked “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, which was a huge hit at the time. I mean, it still is because it’s a classic, but then it was big and new. They step onto the mat and immediately begin to do choreographed dance moves, which they have worked into their routine. We had not thought of this. Oops. Dance moves, of course! So they incorporate the necessary gymnastics, it goes over really well, the energy is high, and now it’s my group’s turn.

I take my place at the edge of the mat, the mat we are required to stay on for the length of the piece. Ashley cues up the track she’d chosen.

A song starts up. Instantly, I recognize it from the movie. It is the very slow instrumental music that plays when Simba realizes his dad is dead.

‘Well, this is not optimal,’ I think. I've been on this planet for nine years; I can see that much. But it’s too late to change the track, and so I tell myself, ‘It’s okay. I’m a performer. I can sell this.’ I put on an extremely solemn face and begin to execute a series of the world’s saddest somersaults.

Friends, when I say “sad” I mean it, in every possible sense of the word. Picture a nine year old with the gravest possible affect, determinedly doing somersaults to the slowest, most serious music she can imagine, in a careful ring around her friends who have actually learned any gymnastics whatsoever. Okay, now as the music starts to pick up and get more hopeful, imagine she gets real dizzy and in front of everyone, she rolls all the way directly off the mat, careening dangerously towards the assembled students.

Somehow, I roll myself back onto the mat, we survive what feels like hours of humiliation, we stagger away, and I blessedly avoid adding “puking my guts out in front of all of my peers” to my very short list of gymnastics tricks.

Later, I asked Ashley what in the world possessed her to choose that song.

“It didn’t have any words,” she said.

(There was absolutely no rule against using songs that had lyrics.)

Anyway, that’s why being an adult is better than being a kid.

I may have to do laundry and make my own dinner and wrestle with more complex existential angst, but you know what I haven’t been asked to do in like 26 years? Somersault for three minutes straight to the musical shorthand for “this cartoon lion cub has no choice but to process the weight of unimaginable grief for his dead dad.” And you know what? If I live another 50 years, I can be pretty confident nobody will ask me to do it then, either.

[permanentswaps]

Family Reunion – Catching Up With Alex

Inspired by @bodyswapper, specifically: Family Reunion Pt. 1 and Family Reunion Pt. 2. Also read my sequel Family Reunion – Steve’s Youthful Journey.

Two years have flown by since that unforgettable family reunion, and let me tell you, life couldn't be sweeter. I wake up every morning, look in the mirror, and marvel at the sight of this perfectly chiseled physique. It feels like winning the lottery every day. Seriously, if you could see me now, you'd understand why I have no regrets about what I did.

You see, I've fully embraced being Alex. It's not just about the body; it's about the confidence, the charm, the sheer power that comes with it. And let me tell you, I'm living my best life.

But about those family reunions? Yeah, I steer clear of those now. Sure, there's a part of me that misses the chaos, the laughter, and the strange tradition of swapping bodies. But the risk? Nah, not worth it. Even though I bound Uncle Steve to secrecy with Grandad's ancient magic, who's to say some other mishap won't expose the truth?

Like what if I got chosen to swap and it failed cause I sealed myself in. I don't need anyone digging into why it didn't work. (Honestly, I don't know the full extent of the magic binding me to this form, but I'm not eager to test its limits.)

Or, what if Uncle Steve or anyone else wins contest, and then gets Grandad to lock tem in this body instead. I mean, would you put it past them? This physique is like a work of art, and it would only be a matter of time before someone else has the same bright idea I did.

Besides, I've got plenty of other things to keep me occupied. Actually, to sidestep any questions from family about why I’m perpetually absent, made a bold decision: I relocated to Paris.

Now, to keep myself financially afloat, I decided to do something that perfectly complemented my newfound physique: I started an OnlyFans account. And let me tell you, it's been quite the hit. People from all around the world want to catch a glimpse of this body, and who am I to deny them?

With each sultry photo and steamy video, my following grows, and so does my bank account. It's surreal, really, how quickly it's taken off. But I guess when you're blessed with a body like mine, the world can't help but take notice.

As my OnlyFans grew, it caught the attention of some Parisian locals. Now, I'll be honest, my French is still a work in progress, but I manage to get by with a charming smile and a few choice phrases. And let me tell you, it hasn't hindered my social life one bit. Take the other night, for instance. I received a message from a guy named Benoit, a suave Parisian with an air of sophistication about him.

Benoit was only 24 years old, but he had the confidence of someone who had the world at his feet. Rumor had it he was the heir to some extravagant family fortune, and let's just say his lifestyle reflected that.

As I stepped into his apartment, I couldn't help but be impressed by the sheer grandeur of it all. From the plush furnishings to the sweeping views of the city skyline, it was clear that Benoit was accustomed to the finer things in life.

Over glasses of champagne and whispered conversations in broken French, Benoit and I shared stories, laughter, and more than a few lingering glances. Benoit was an intriguing combination of intelligence and physical prowess, his toned physique a testament to his dedication to fitness. Yet, despite his apparent confidence, there was a subtle hint of vulnerability in his eyes.

As we moved closer, the tension between us thickened. With a primal instinct taking over, I wasted no time in asserting my dominance. In a swift motion, I threw him down onto the bed and began to tear off his clothes, exposing every inch of his flawless skin. My fingertips danced across his body, tracing delicate patterns along his curves, eliciting shivers of pleasure from his trembling frame.

As I teased the outline of his cock and balls, a low, guttural moan escaped his lips, his head falling back in ecstasy. And then, in a whispered plea that sent a shiver down my spine, he uttered those three words that ignited a fire within me: "S'il te plaît, Daddy."

Hard as a rock, I moved upwards, brushing my lips against his neck, a soft sigh escaping his lips as I whispered, "Suck my cock, boy."

Without a moment's hesitation, he eagerly obeyed, taking me fully in his mouth.

After a few minutes of sheer ecstasy, I gently grasped his chin, guiding his gaze to meet mine. With a silent command, I motioned for him to kiss me, and he responded without hesitation, his lips meeting mine in a fiery embrace.

As our tongues tangled in a dance of passion, he shifted his position, straddling his legs over my waist, his body pressed tantalizingly against mine.

As we continued to make out, I couldn't resist the urge to tease him further. Guiding my throbbing cock between his cheeks, I felt the heat of his anticipation radiating against my skin.

A flicker of hesitation crossed my mind. I really shouldn't be doing this, not without protection. But as he looked down at me with those pleading eyes, his moans a symphony of desire, it was all the sign I needed.

With an urgency that eclipsed all rational thought, I thrust my cock up into his tight hole, the sensation of his warmth enveloping me in a wave of ecstasy. Holding down his shoulders to prevent any chance of escape, I surrendered myself completely to the intoxicating rhythm of our shared passion.

As I continued to pound into him, his expression transformed from one of initial discomfort to one of immense pleasure. The tension in his muscles melting away.

After a few minutes, we shifted positions, moving into missionary. With me on top, I took control, my hand wrapping around his cock as I stroked him in time with my thrusts.

Looking up at me with eyes squinted in pleasure, he uttered those words in the most adorable accent, "I'm close."

Keeping pace with our rhythm, I encouraged him with a husky whisper, "Fuck yeah, baby, say my name."

And with each desperate moan, each syllable of my name rolling off his tongue in a cascade of pleasure, I felt a surge of raw desire course through me. "Alex. Aleex. Aleeeeexxxxxxxx," he moaned, his voice a melody of ecstasy that echoed in the dimly lit room.

"Putain," I moaned in response, our bodies trembling in unison as we released our loads at the same time.

Basking in the warm afterglow of our shared passion, I couldn't help but marvel at the thought that if I “frenched” like that every day, I'd be fluent in no time.

[gigidragonbbxxx]

working with limits, a story

disclaimer: we are limitless. anything can be achieved with the power of the mind. this is to help people who overthink.

if a limit of yours shows up somewhere along the journey of manifesting a certain goal:

acknowledge it. do not repress. use it to pivot into your new story.

eg. I used think ____, but I know that's not true anymore. I am now ____.

my own story

my desired body is typically obtained in the gym with years of hard work and a dedicated focus on nutrition. I'm currently in grad school so I don't have time to workout like an IG influencer but I want to look like one.

Ordinary people would WEEP and stay in the same story of "its not obtainable!" while master manifesters smirk and say "LOL, ITS MY BODY NOWWWW"

I know that waking up with your perfect body is 100% POSSIBLE. Overnight subs/aff tapes + living in the end state + saturation to the max = fast asf results

so why wasn't I achieving it?

why was I manifesting money, attention, material things, etc. but for some reason my body was not changing?

I was meditating and doing some inner work when I realized that I had a serious weird rooted limited belief that

I had bad genetics and every woman in my family (both sides) have never achieved a flat tummy or a super toned body. So I was unconsciously always affirming that I could "never" look like that.

I thought great bodies could ONLY be achieved with hard work - which we know is soooooo untrue!

Instead of forcing myself to do a method I realized - I could work with my limit.

I was never truly "athletic" but I did run cross country/track in high school for 3 years. I fell off once I went to college and mostly did weird sporadic workouts but was never consistent.

Now that I've discovered the law and am freed from my old way of thinking, I said - okay let me play a little psychology game with myself, a little placebo.

my new placebo has been:

No matter what workout I do, the moment I step into the gym, I am losing my belly fat and getting super fast results every day.

Why do you do this Gigi instead of just sitting at home and affirming for your body?

Because I realized it would be easier for me to stay saturated/in the wish fulfilled/end state of having my perfect body just by physically forcing myself to be in a gym.

Let me clarify: I mostly walk on the treadmill, lift very very light weights, minimal sets, etc.

aka: most people would say I'm not doing enough.

But I'm a master manifester so I know that just deciding is enough.

I realized it was easier to visualize people saying "Wow she changed her body, it's because she goes to the gym now! She must've done a lot of work cause she got those results fast!" instead of "Wow she changed her body, idk how!"

Ever since I started going consistently and doing very bare minimum workouts - my body has changed way more drastically than normal limits allow.

I basically look like I've been working out for 6 months versus just the 2 I've actually been going.

My personal goal was fast results but gradual. If you want instant, please be my guest I am not limiting, I'm just sharing what worked for me.

I robotically affirm that lil placebo and it's changed my entire approach to manifesting.

I will see if I can post pictures of myself that will ensure privacy. Until then, just my words and encouragement.

Let me finish this lil post by saying: you do not need to do what I do. You can go ahead and do everything instantly. Everyone is different. I'm just sharing what worked for me, what helped me ease into being firm with what I wanted the 3D to reflect to me.

xx, gigi

[mirai-e-jump]

TV Guide Dan, LDH Special Issue dan the Girls ft. Yuzuki Hirakawa Interview (translation below)

Publication December 1, 2023

-RESOLUTION-

"Hirakawa-san, you entered the entertainment industry after winning the Grand Prix in the vocal and dance category of LDH's, "LDH Presents THE GIRLS AUDITION" held in 2018. Please tell us why you took part in the audition."

Hirakawa: I've always liked LDH artists. I would go and see their live performances, and I watched "Weekly EXILE," a music information program that was being broadcast at the time. Then, I heard the announcement that they'd be holding an audition for female artists for the first time in a while. Before that, auditions had been limited to singing and dancing, but the auditions I attended included various categories, including singing and dancing, as well as acting and modeling. At the time, I wasn't interested in the entertainment world, but my parents and those around me recommended I do it, so I did it partially out of curiosity. However, as judging progressed, before I knew it, I won the Grand Prix…is how it felt. I like singing, but I didn't have any dreams of becoming a singer. After joining the agency, I took singing, dancing and acting lessons equally, and during those lessons, I decided to pursue acting.

"Winning the Grand Prix helped you in deciding to pursue a career in the entertainment industry."

Hirakawa: I was in my second year of high school when I won the Grand Prix, and I had to move from Kumamoto to Tokyo by myself, so I was determined, or rather, I felt I had no choice but to do it. The final stage of the audition was a training camp exam, where about 10 finalists spent a week together. While there, I met other kids who were seriously working hard to pursue their dreams, and I realized that I could no longer be half hearted in my efforts just because I had been chosen. However, when I made my debut as an actor in the stage play of "Moryo no Hako," I didn't know what to do or what was expected of me on the stage, so I just went along with things. It was only last year when I was cast as the role of Rita Kaniska (PapillonOhger) in "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger" that I was able to proudly say, "My profession is an actor. Actually, before I was cast for the role…there was a time when I was wondering if it was okay to continue down this path, or if I should look for another one. That's why I was so happy when I was chosen to play the role, and thought I could continue as an actor. However, I was alittle anxious before the broadcast started. Rita is the king of Gokkan and the Chief Justice of the International Court of Justice, but their gender isn't clearly stated, and their face is almost invisible, being hidden behind their collar and hair. Since this type of character hasn't been seen in the Super Sentai series before, I couldn't predict what kind of reaction we'd get from the viewers. But thankfully, the positive feedback I've received since airing started has made me enjoy filming even more.

"We feel that characters who don't specify their gender are appropriate in the current era."

Hirakawa: I'm grateful to have been given such a role. I've always thought that my appearance, personality and voice were (gender) neutral, so I was happy to have landed the role of Rita. At first, Rita was a calm and quiet character who didn't say much, but as the story progressed, they're able to rely on others, and gradually become able to express their feelings in public. Slowly, their humanity and cuteness is showing, and I hope that my performance will make the character even more beloved.

"We feel like it's more difficult to express a character that changes gradually, rather than one that changes drastically, but do you find it difficult?"

Hirakawa: I'm not sure…personally, I don't find it that difficult. More than the changes of Rita in the story, I think the relationship between me and all the cast members were the biggest change. As filming progressed, the relationship between the cast members deepened, and I feel that we're able to understand each other. I think this naturally led me to express myself in the role. The atmosphere when Rita and their retainer, Morfonia (Hasegawa Kasumi), are together has also changed. Of course, this happened after the halfway point of the story, but it also reflects the fact that the cast members have become closer to each other.

"And now, "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger Character Book: The Bonds Connected by Moffun and Racules?!" featuring Rita, Morfonia, and Hymeno Ran (played by Murakami Erica) is on sale. Please tell us your thoughts after looking back on the photo shoot and interview."

Hirakawa: In the TV series, Rita and Hymeno, and Rita and Morfonia are sometimes filmed together, but this is probably the first time that Hymeno, Rita, and Morfonia are together. This was the first time doing an interview with the three of us, so it was very refreshing. Rita is called the "Immovable King," a character with very few movements. So, there aren't that many posing variations, but Hymeno and Morfonia moved alot to add variety, so I felt thankful for that (laughs).

"In episodes 32 and 33 of the TV series, there was a collaboration with "Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger." You co starred with Shiono Akihisa-kun, playing the role of Souji Rippukan (Kyoryu Green), who also belongs to LDH."

Hirakawa: The day after it was decided that I'd be appearing in King-Ohger, I had work to do with Shiono-san, and when I told him, "I'm going to be your junior in Super Sentai," he said to me, "I know it'll be a tough year, but please do your best." He also said, "I hope we can work together again somewhere." At that time, I never imagined that I'd be able to work with Shiono-san in King-Ohger, so I was really happy when the collaboration episodes were announced. We only had one day of filming, but I was able to hear stories about the "Kyoryuger" days, and I was deeply moved by being able to appear in the same scenes for the first time. The collaboration episodes were directed by Sakamoto Koichi, who's famous for his action direction, and although we had to fight more enemies without transforming than usual, since I like action, it didn't bother me, and it was a valuable experience. I'm also working with Amano Kousei-san, another senior at LDH, who plays Grodie Leucodium starting from episode 30. Since Grodie is Rita's enemy, they have many scenes together. Amano-san is very considerate, lending us things to cool our necks when we were on location during the hot season. Also, he gets involved with me on Twitter, and is a really funny and friendly person. However, once he gets into his role, he completely changes, which I think is amazing.

"Since our magazine mainly features men, we'd like to ask what kind of men Hirakawa-san likes."

Hirakawa: Someone who's firm and flexible. When he messes around, he'll completely mess around, and when he talks about serious matters, he's serious. I'm the type of person who gets excited when I'm having fun, so ideally, I'd like someone who has the same enthusiasm as me, and to take the initiative and have fun doing whatever it takes, instead of being drawn away from me (laughs). Also, I think it's wonderful if he can say, "Thank you" and, "I'm sorry" for even the smallest of things, and if he cares about family.

"If you could be reborn, would you prefer to be male or female?"

Hirakawa: I'd like to be male. I used to play with my brother, who's 5 years older than me, and his friends, and I wanted to be a boy too.

"Well then, if you could be a man for one day, what would you like to do?"

Hirakawa: I wonder…(taking time to think), I guess I'd do some muscle training. If I can become a muscular man like Kaku So-san, my co star in King-Ohger, I'd like to go to the gym and train my muscles until he admits defeat! Kaku-san said he can bench press 120 kg (265 lbs), so I'd like to aim for that too and show off my muscles to everyone (laughs).

[foxyaries]

My Manifestations

Hi Again! Foxy here :)

Now keep in mind these aren't manifestations I have gotten YET but they have been my main focus throughout all these years that I've been part this community. I know a lot of you would rather hear about things I have actually manifested but the reason I'm gonna talk about them a bit is because these are the ones that actually kept me motivated despite my lack of results or current circumstances.

As for how my journey began? It was subliminals :) Probably as for most people in this community at first I didn't really understand it. I didn't try to look into it or understand it. Because of course as most people I assumed that it was just music. It's funny to think about it, knowing what I know now. It was a first limiting belief that I realized that I noticed I had. Since we were kids we were always conditioned to believe that we had to work hard to achieve things we want and success. But that's not true. And that's what I realized when one day subliminals came across my feed once again and I realized why not look into it? The more I read about it the more I realized that maybe it is possible. I mean we only use very small part of our brain so why wouldn't it be a possibility? Like I like to say "If there's an idea, there is a possibility of it being true". And that's how I discovered it.

What did I want to manifest first?

Unfortunately back then I was very insecure. And I'd brutally pick on any flaws I thought I had, so my first subliminals were appearance related. However at that time I also was very unhappy not just with my looks but also my life. Mainly my family. As some of you may relate I had (and still have but maybe not as much because I am older) very strict parents and especially because I am a girl it felt like my only goal in life was to study but going out and having fun with friends out of question. And it got especially worse because we had just moved to a different country and I needed to learn a new language and find new friends (you can imagine how that felt for my introvert incredibly social awkward self😂). And because of that reason alone one day I thought "If there are so many subliminals appearance related? I wonder if there's different kind". First thing that came up was "Wake up in desired family" subliminal. And you guys don't even understand. Back then our community was pretty small so all it had was maybe 15k views but at that time it looked like a lot. There were even that many comments or success stories because everyone were considerably new to the idea. But on this specific subliminal there were maybe 5 success stories. All very similar. One day they went to sleep, felt like they went flying and then woke up in their desired family. Again at that time I didn't really understand the concept but those 5 success stories made me so full of hope?? Each of those people said it took them like 2-3 months so that's the time I set for myself in my head too and guess what :) I indeed achieved certain crazy results I'm gonna talk about in a separate post.

Unfortunately for me... as I mentioned before I was insecure. So those couple months I was focusing on leaving and waking up in my desired life (again I didn't know much about the whole shifting idea or exactly what it was but maybe that's what helped :) The less we know the better). Aaaaand of course I got insecure and decided to start listening to appearances subliminals at the same time and that set some kind of mental block that I'm only now starting to get out of. I dont think me listening to those subliminals is what stopped me from getting any results. It was my mindset. However once I realized that it was too late and I had no motivation to restart the journey :( Such a shame now because I was so so close but it's okay now.

Before anyone asks I did try looking for that subliminal channel and those subliminals. Unfortunately I believe the whole account got deleted.

Now onto the 2nd thing. Once I realized my mistake I stopped listening to appearance subliminals and decided to try something else. I came up to a "Manifest a fairy" subliminal :) Yes, say what you want. Like I said "if there's an idea, there's a possibility". For all I care, unicorns could be real and I am open to it :). And yes, my fairy would have been and will be a wish granting fairy. I saw her as a solution to all of my problems. Not only mine but my best friends. And thanks to my best friend and her spiritual companion I was told that it would actually happen! That I'd one day see my fairy :). However, how soon it'd happen depended on me. It could have taken days, weeks, months or even years but it all depended on my mindset. And here we are 6 years later because I went through another dark episode of my life. But it's gonna happen soon I feel it! More about my best friend and future life time fairy friend on a separate post! Because yes, I had certain results even with that👀

I do hope someone will be interested in some of this cause this does boost my motivation somehow haha

That's all for now tho! I'll try to make a post later tonight about my tape results the other night! Next attempt is tonight😌 And whether anyone is interested or not I shall make another about my first insane shifting results too! 👀👋🏻

[naranjapetrificada]

I have really, really loved seeing everyone talking about their favorite fics they've written but I wasn't expecting to be tagged tbh because I've posted so few. Thanks so much @scribophile for tagging me so I can play too!

I only have 3 one-shots and a stagnating WIP to my name but I do have favorites, so.

Cornerstone means a lot to me because it was the first time I'd felt moved to write fiction (fan or original) in over a decade. I have years (and two post-secondary degrees worth) of baggage around writing in the way that only 90s "gifted kids" who were actually just neurodivergent can, and being able to write fiction again after so much time and angst has been such a joy.

My favorite of the one-shots though is probably Ways of Wanting, which was literally just inspired by Ed's beautiful, beautiful neck and written in a flurry of thoughts and feelings about the sublimation of queer desire. What I love about it is that if Cornerstone was the roots a seemingly-dead tree defiantly bursting through concrete, then Ways is like the first green shoots of new growth to sprout from the tree's branches. It was fun to write but more than anything else it felt necessary, because I needed to see myself stretching beyond my limits and doing something new.

(I also really love the Birth of Venus image that popped into my head at the last second, and if that had been the only thing to come from having written the whole thing it would still feel worth it.)

Last of course is my historical-ish fantasy-ish WIP, From the Firmament, which I am going to finish, because there's nothing I hate more than breaking promises I've made to myself. Getting the chance to write something this self-indulgent has been so rewarding, especially because of how much it's reminded me that writing can be fun.

Now obviously, drafting chapter 3 has taken significantly more time than anticipated. Part of the problem is that Izzy, in typical fashion, elbowed his way into having a POV section that has been as unpleasant to write as the man himself is to be around (although I have to admit that some of the discomfort is creative growing pains).

But beyond Izzy, there are things about the storytelling process itself at this point that are dredging up a lot of my writing baggage in a way that writing the first two chapters didn't. For a few reasons Ed's POV always takes me the longest, and he's got the lion's share of this chapter's narration. And I definitely spent too long deciding which historical blurb should start the chapter, which kept me floundering for too long trying to build the chapter's basic skeleton. I'm also having to work through poet-brain perfectionism with some of the prose.

But I'm determined to finally learn these and other craft lessons I've been putting off for decades though, just as I'm determined to see this story through to the end.

(also I got laid off in June and sometimes feel guilty if I'm not spending every waking moment on job sites, which is a mistake but it makes writing fic harder than it needs to be. I'm working on it.)

I feel like this game has been going around long enough that almost everyone I would tag has already been tagged, but last time I checked I didn't see a post from @veeagainsttheday nor @tresdem? Both are incredibly skilled (and maybe more importantly, dedicated) writers who have made me cry repeatedly in the best ways possible, so even if they don't want to make their own posts you should still go read their gentlebeard work immediately.

[runwayrunway]

No. 50 - All Nippon Airways Airbus A380 "Flying Honu" Livery

Happy 50th Runway Runway post! I had a bit of a hard time deciding what to do for it - after all, it's a pretty significant number. I already sort of know what I want to do for the 100th post, but I hadn't put much thought into the 50th, and I had to scuttle any plans for something long and interesting after a rather stressful week. Instead I decided to do something both fun and requested!

source: ANA Stories

One (well, three!) of the most beloved special liveries out there, All Nippon Airways' turtle-themed "Flying Honu" Airbus A380. These three friendly giants fly from Japan to Honolulu, delighting anyone lucky enough to see them.

Actually, I love the Flying Honu so much I have one myself.

I would describe myself as a bit of a magpie. I collect useless things, be they historical ephemera, horror movie memorabilia, old books, pretty rocks, or way too many fountain pen inks given I mostly use them to take notes. I even have a bunch of my old teeth in a pillbox. Surprisingly, though, the things my talons have lodged in don't include many model airplanes. I have...a few. I've actually, though serendipity, gotten two more since I started this blog, expanding my collection to a startling five. Maybe seven if you count my Starscream and Brainstorm figures, but I don't think I even remember how to put either of them in their alt modes. The fact is that while they aren't a fortune or anything plane figures are expensive enough that it's a commitment to buy one, and I usually only do when I stumble on a good deal for a model I really want. And one of the few times I've actually decided that I just needed a model of a specific livery was the "Flying Honu" A380. Specifically, the one I have is the airframe registered JA382A, Kai. (She's the 1:500 JC Wings diecast model and is around the size of my hand.)

I just needed to be able to gently tap her nose in person, okay? She can't fit up on the shelf with a lot of my other miscellaneous trinkets so she sits on my desk and sometimes I explain things to her while trying to figure them out, like a coding rubber duck. She makes me happy.

All Nippon Airways (全日本空輸) is a major Japanese airline. In fact, in terms of both fleet size and number of destinations they're bigger than flag carrier JAL. They're consistently described as being among the best airlines in the world for the discerning well-to-do business traveler, and let's just say that's not me, but what I am is a reviewer of airline liveries, and ANA sure has those! In addition to their standard Triton Blue livery they do all sorts of special designs, particularly crossovers with properties like Pokémon and Star Wars. All of these are something I would like to someday feature, but none of them matter at all to me when compared to the Flying Honu, introduced with the A380 fleet in 2019.

A couple of times when I've told people I know about this livery they asked me if 'honu' is Japanese for 'turtle'. That's a reasonable question, but the Japanese word for turtle is 'kame'. 'Honu' is the word for turtle, though - in Hawaiian.

image: ANA

In fact, Honolulu is the A380s' only destination. ANA didn't really want A380s to begin with, but ended up stuck with them while acquiring another airline. The thing about the A380, and the reason it failed commercially and so few were ever built, is that the use-case for a massive plane is pretty limited. It goes as such: you have a passengerbase of people who have to travel from one giant hub that can land an A380 to another frequently enough that you can actually make money on a plane with four entire engines.

Okay, so the use-case is that you're Emirates. ANA might be expensive, but they don't really have the central location or sheer amount of regular business travelers that Dubai does. 'Three' also isn't really that many A380s, which creates a bit of a question of reliability. So instead they fixed the problem in a way that's honestly pretty genius: they made it turtles.

image: ANA

ANA seems to be generally invested in Hawaii, with a fair amount of partnerships with local organizations. A lot of Hawaiian real estate is owned by Japanese companies, and those of Japanese descent are the second-larget ethnic group in Hawaii at 16.7%, so it makes sense that a lot of people would want to travel there. Tokyo to Honolulu is a nice 9-hour flight with no possibility for a stopover of any kind (unless they invent civilian aircraft carriers for A380s), so it's the perfect route for precisely three really huge planes.

images: ANA

They can fit 520 passengers across four classes on one flight, seated across both decks of the massive planes. There is also a section of seats which convert to couches, marketed for families. Those who fly this route get to enjoy rainbow lighting and the ability to buy a duty-free 1:500 model of the plane (not the same model I have, though, I'm pretty sure) or a set of Flying Honu plushes.

Ra looks like she's plotting something. Lani looks like she's never had a single thought in her life.

And they do make money off this, because people absolutely love these planes. People have apparently had their weddings on these planes, and I would too! They make ten weekly flights right now, but in December that will be increasing to fourteen weekly, or two daily.

Okay, so, the actual liveries.

Here's Kai in full-size! The light in my room make her look way cooler toned in the photographs, but in real life she's this color. It's frequently described as 'green' or 'emerald green', but I think it's definitely turquoise and would go so far as to call it blue. Whatever the case, it's meant to represent the color of the sea near Hawaii. Kai is also distinct from the others because of her eyes, which are closed as she smiles from ear to ear. That's why she's my favorite - she just looks so happy!

...a bit weirder looking from upfront, but look how even the ventral fairing is painted! That's part of the flippers where they curl around, tucked into the shell. Unlike the Transocean Air Jinbei Jets, the cockpit windows blend in with the 'scales' of the Flying Honu, looking rather natural.

'Ra' is a beautiful orange, meant to represent the Hawaiian sunset. She has a bit of a peach undertone if you look closely, but her details are done in an extremely vivid reddish orange. Her distinguishing feature are those gigantic eyelashes, similar to Sakura Jinbei's. The actual mouth shape on all three planes appears to be the same, but I find that the eyes still give them distinct 'personalities'. Ra has always looked very thoughtful to me.

Just look at her in flight! I've never understood why people call the 747 stately or graceful, and same for the A380 - double-decker planes are just inherently goofy-looking, and that's great, but ANA managed to make one look pretty elegant. I think it's because turtles are already regarded as large and slow creatures, so fitting like for like just makes it seem as natural for this absolutely gigantic aircraft to be flying as it is for a turtle to swim.

Finally, Lani, the turtle everyone agrees to be blue, represents the Hawaiian sky during its brightest color in daylight. If you look closely, you can see her blue 'eyeshadow', which I've always thought made her look relaxed.

This picture gives a good angle of my only real critique of the Flying Honu, which is that the shells and heads don't entirely look aligned, as if the head is in the process of being retracted. That said, I think that's just a fact of working with the shape of an airplane. There's just no more space below to fit any more shell.

Rather than being just one turtle, though, each "Flying Honu" has two fully rendered baby turtles following behind their 'mother'.

I think this is adorable, and beyond that it solves a crucial problem - the tail. Turtles do have those, but not in a way that maps onto a standard empennage. Instead, ANA makes the smart choice to end the shell at a certain point and add these two extra turtles make-way-for-ducklings-ing their way across the fuselage for more visual interest, leaving the tail empty for an ANA logo without making it jarring. This is a huge improvement over the Jinbei Jets, which again serve as a point of comparison as the other major Japanese marine life planes. (Amakusa Airlines is way smaller and thus not going to get caught up in this.)

I mean, it's hard to find too much to say about these that isn't just "oh my gosh, look at them". The Flying Honu are vividly colored, with clever shapes used to make them immediately recognizable as turtles. I smile every time I see one, including the little one on my desk!

And in case you weren't already delighted, there's two extra bonus turtles!

I think it's pretty obvious I'm giving these an A+. Come on, just...just look at them. The fact that ANA bothered to make three distinct ones with their own names and faces is just icing on the cake for me, but I do love that they did.

I can't believe I didn't find a way to fit this in earlier into the post, but I really love turtles. If you have an aquarium near you, and that aquarium has turtles, I really recommend stopping by to see them. My local New England Aquarium has had Myrtle for more than 50 years. As they describe her, 'the 550-lb Queen of the Giant Ocean Tank is large, in charge, and ready to receive your adoration'.

True to form, although a lot larger and dealing in a different type of fluid dynamics, the Flying Honu jets get plenty of my adoration too.

[goodluckclove]

I have spent some time now trying to formulate a question but every time i arrive back at there's probably no answer. OH. So. (Please ignore if you do not want to answer or can't or whatever. I'm thinking instead of sleeping and that tends to lead to strange thoughts.)

Where does creativity come from? Like, how do people get that spark that turns into an idea an universe. How do they step outside what they have experienced (tropes, stories), and... create something of their own.

I don't know. The answer is probably somewhere between "it just comes" and "they listen and notice it" (as in they are not in something resembling chronic creative burnout).

Writing looks fun. Creating stories. Having a world take shape in your imagination. I enjoy getting glimpses into that process and seeing the end products. (I would love to try it myself but it's one of those "so far away i have zero idea where to start" things. Where on the other hand rants, thoughts, concepts *prompted* by anything and routed in something already existing seem to come freely and turn into whole essays (sometimes at least). Oh well.)

I really don't know. Please ignore if this is weird. I should maybe have some water.

Take care if where you are it's also way too hot. Have water or rest or whatever might be good in that moment, if you want. I hope your day goes as well as can be, with nice moments and strength for the hard ones. (How do people end asks i am not good at people today.)

Hi! You sent this to me a while ago and I hadn't answered it, but I've been thinking about it a lot. I think I'm finally settled enough to answer it.

I think every human being - at least every that I've come across - possesses innate creativity and the ability to make art. I never believed in the concept of god-given "talent" and actually find the concept deeply patronizing as, in my mind, it implies no real effort. Which is bullshit. I will call an artist capable, honest, skilled, passionate - I will never call them talented.

Children are creative in their natural state and in their own way. What happens is an exposure to poison over the years. Your favorite books and movies aren't good for the reasons you like them, or if they are it doesn't matter because they're not real art. People project what they think art is onto you and negate any opportunity for you to grow and form your own sense of intuition.

Or you're never given a chance to really explore art at all. No one makes an effort to show you books you can relate to, so you decide you don't like reading. You think the stuff at art museums is just stuffy Old Dead Guy paintings, and since no one suggests you explore otherwise you never explore painting or sculpting as something accessible to you. It's an unbelievable tragedy to me and I cringe inwardly every time someone tells me they just aren't creative.

There are no uncreative people. There are no boring people. There are only people who were lied to and demeaned until they felt the only real option was to deny themselves the language of communicating through art and storytelling. And that's fucking horrible.

So how can you move past that? I talk to a lot of "aspiring writers" (another term I despise), who tell me blocks in their creative process that keep them from doing the work they want to do. Oftentimes I just respond by asking who told you that? Was it a teacher who was unable to finish their novel because of some poison they consumed? A parent who only sees you through the lens of a career they've decided you're meant to pursue to have value in the world? Perhaps a stranger on the Internet who realized that you can gain a facade of illusory "respect" by making individual taste and limited artistic scope as an overall rule of thumb everyone else has to follow?

Once you find the root of what makes you feel fundamentally severed from creativity, you can start to undo the hold it has over you. You might have to start further back than what feels good for the ego. If you struggle to write a long-term project, maybe you just need to write something. Anything. Just play with fragments and develop a foundation of actually confirming you're able to take up space. Because you are and you absolutely should.

Big ramble but this is a really important topic to me. Don't know where to start? There are really no wrong movies! People watch and wonder what their lives are like! Explore a single plot point of character without worrying about an overarching narrative! As discouraging as it can feel to struggle in a way so many other people seem perfectly well-versed in, it is never too late to develop creativity in your life!

[uroboros-if]

Please please share some coding/designing wisdom. Your game is so damn pretty 😭😭😭 Could you tell us what template you used and how hard it was to make it look like it is today? I imagine so much work must have gone into it

😭😭 I am no expert, but these are just my rationale/methods behind the visual choices I made!

For the template I used—I used Vahnya's Template! However, this post by @/manonamora-if has a whole section for templates that I wish I saw or checked out before making my IF! In another lifetime, I might've just used nyehilism's template to achieve the bottom sidebar instead of torturing myself learning how to do it... ;;

Below, I go into detail the timeline of designing Uroboros, as well as advice through the process I went!

Design Timeline

I started designing the UI late October 2022, and kept fixing, changing, editing it well into February and maybe a little bit of March 2023.

October 2022 - Early iterations of the design. Looked for stock images and began implementing it to add a background to the sidebar and the actual passages. Swatched some color palettes and began implementing them into the IF. Later decided to make the sidebar on the bottom instead of on the side. Also, added a title screen.

November - Testing different backgrounds for the IF's sidebar. Added a textbox to the passages, also worked on the black fade transitions.

December - Finished working on the sidebar background for both light and dark theme, began work on the background of the IF instead.

January 2023 - Finished working on the dark and light theme backgrounds! Started work on drawing the skill icons for light and dark theme, and finished!

February - Changed the title screen to look better on mobile, created a circle logo, added a border to the textbox. Also, made further edits for light theme.

March - Just remade the "Uroboros" logo.

If you're wondering why it took approximately 5 months to get to the final version—don't worry! I wasn't working only on the design for 5 months. My partner helped make the edits for the design, while I worked on coding them in and writing.

I spent a lot of time trying to get a grasp on Javascript, SugarCube, and HTML all throughout this time as well, to know how to fluidly add these things. Meaning, while I was working on these visual elements, I was also figuring out how to do the "looking" mechanic, black and white transitions, figuring out how Tweego worked, radio buttons, and so on.

Do note I've been busy the entire time throughout, so perhaps you can do this much quicker than I can!

The "Secrets"

1. Please—look at IFs you love! What are some visual aspects of other IFs that you love and want to include in your story? I started by analyzing parts of other IFs that I love. I liked Wayfarer's textbox; I liked how the choices looked in When Twilight Strikes. I liked the textboxes in the beginning of Zorlok. Find the things that amaze you about other IFs, and implement it your own way!

This seems like super basic advice—but trust me, once you think, "How can I put this in my game?" you will not only be able to have it, but most likely, you'll also learn a LOT.

While seeing how I could make the radio buttons, for example, I started researching. I googled "How to live change text?" and then I found out about jQuery, how to use the replace macro, etc. etc. JUST from researching how to do exactly one (1) feature.

2. What is missing in other IFs? Think about your own reading experience. I didn't like the clunkiness of some, how the sidebar is on the side when space on a mobile-screen is severely limited length-wise. So, I put the sidebar on the bottom.

I didn't like how other choices look in IFs, so I wanted a way to do mine that's nice and elegant(though it's still a little hard to read, admittedly).

Again, researching how to do the things you want opens many doors for you. I learned how to style <li> and change how bullets look, learned how to style links in Twine in general, etc. etc. again with just this ONE thing I wanted to change/add.

3. Don't do the work all by yourself. I struggled so hard because I hate asking for help. I was happy to Google other people's problems, but I never thought to open up my own thread or ask anybody in the community for help. Please, not only ask, but also—your work doesn't have to be completely original.

Use templates. Look at manon's amazing masterlist of things you can implement. I also have a few macro's that you can use, like multipronouns for MC, that does the work for you, for free.

Rip people's codes—respectfully. I'm not saying from other IFs, but online in other places. If they appear on help forums or are publicly available through places like CodePen, chances are that they're open-source or licensed in such a way that anyone can use it (e.g. MIT license).

Again, here is Manon's masterlist, which includes custom macros you can use in your game (Chapel, HiEv and Cycy are my high recommendations)! Additionally, here's my code for multipronouns here and my code for setting RO genders here.

4. MAKE IT READABLE!! Even if you want your game to look pretty... please, I'm begging you, make it easy to read. This is the most important thing ever.

I have a short attention span, and so does my partner. We reviewed the game to make sure we are NOT compromising the reading experience with our design. As much as we want fantastical backgrounds, we wanted to make sure it was at least not distracting. As much as we want gaudy styles, we want the actual passage to be suited for the long haul.

The most, most important part is to enhance the reading experience--not by adding things on, but by making it simple and intuitive. As someone in the computer science field, the user experience is CRITICAL. Put yourself in their shoes, think about them first and foremost.

Twine is amazingly customizable, and its powers can be wielded for good and evil. Plenty of amazing writers but inexperienced UI designers, especially from CoG, get into Twine. CoG almost completely takes away the design element, so Twine is a whole new ballpark.

Uroboros has a lot of pomp, but the actual textbox is uncharacteristically simple in comparison. The simplicity against an otherwise fantastical, but non-distracting background helps give it elegance. The sidebar, in contrast, is very eye-catching—but, it's also out of view most of the time, and isn't built for long reading.

To add on, make sure it's readable on mobile. I guarantee 80% of your readers are going to be reading your IF on their phone, and probably at 3 AM, so you will want the mobile to look as good as PC, or even better.

Closing Thoughts

Anyway, as basic as this advice is, this is really what guided my entire thought process behind my visual choices! -- Picking and choosing what you like from IFs, figuring out how to do them through research, and making sure your IF is built to be read for a while.

Thanks so much for asking, thinking that I have wisdom to impart!! 😭🫶💕

[ilegallydontexist]

Write with me!

Day One ★

Hi!! First, I'll start with a bit about me. My name is Faye, my pronouns are he/him, and I'm a teen aspiring author. I've only recently started writing and after abandoning my old wip, I want to start again but better planned so I don't just burn out and give up like last time.

That's where this blog comes in! I'm going to lay out my goals, my new story's summary, what I know about it at the moment, plans for the book, and then I'm going to make a post every day going over goals and overall stuff about the book.

This will hopefully keep me more on track and motivated, so I don't just drop it and feel guilty for not writing.

Summary And Plot ~ -My working summary so far is as follows. ~ 'In a world where most magic disappeared with the death of dragons, the last remnants of power are kept stable by a few scattered dragon scales. When the scales suddenly go missing, magic starts to spiral out of control. Two teens—MC 1, who fears the worst, and MC 2, who treats it all like a grand adventure—decide to run away and travel the world by train-hopping to find the missing scales. As they embark on this lighthearted but high-stakes journey, they become unlikely heroes, all while navigating their growing feelings for each other.' -Kinda unserious book in general. I'm planning to make it silly and lighthearted mixed with some high stakes.

About My Book ~ -This book is going to be a novella but might be longer (20,000 - 50,000 words). I simply don't want to stress myself out with planning to write a super long book which was one of the main things that made me give up last time. -This book is going to be a gay romance between the two main characters. I actually have a song that specifically inspired the entire romance they have and some of the story as well. -The book is either going to be third person limited or third person omniscient. I might do third person limited with the narrator having commentary or something but who knows.

My Goals ~ -I'm hoping to write 1,000 words a day. This means that the first draft could be done in 20-50 days depending. Obviously, it might take longer as my goals might not always be reached but this is just a guess. -introduce a weird dude who claims both MCs to be chosen ones and joins them for a little bit before disappearing and popping back up at random throughout the story. His placeholder name shall be Bob. -Add a llama - add fun magic throughout the story

This might never be seen by anyone on here, but I'll still make more of these, so I not only stay on track but have an excuse to rant about my book and be excited. Whelp, that's it. I'll update for day one at the end of the day. <3

[jeffbiblesupremacy]

Jeff's interview for Mint Magazine Thailand

Let’s Make Everyday SATURday (x)

Translation below

After KinnPorsche The Series World Tour 2023 and Jeff Satur Live on Saturn: First Solo Concert in Bangkok, the first solo concert of Jeff Worakamon Satur ended beautifully, and Mint and him met again to catch up about his works. Jeff has grown tremendously as an artist who has his music but also his acting and he has shown his skills to the eyes of the Saturdays throughout the year.

It is believed that the definition of the world "artist" is different for each person. For Jeff Worakamon Satur, also known as Jeff Satur, being an artist is being a storyteller, to convey the stories to the audience with sincerity and spirituality, and without any frame or line, because Jeff's artistic prowess is boundless, just like the story he's going to tell you in this interview.

Mint: What role do you identify with the most? Being a singer or being an actor?

Jeff: In fact, my root is being an artist. I feel like the responsibility of an artist is telling stories. For me, I started with telling stories through songs. Then it expanded to tell stories through acting. Therefore, I'm not looking at myself as a singer or an actor. I'm an artist that shows my true self to the audience.

Mint: What made you come back to music?

Jeff: I don't reckon it as a coming back to music. I’ve never left. I have continued working on my music. Just that, at that time, there was an interesting opportunity for acting. The role was interesting, it fitted me, and I could do it great. Kinnporsche is the only story. I can confirm that music is still my priority tho.

Mint: What criteria do you use to choose a show/role?

Jeff: Actually, there is nothing specific, but it has to be a story that interest me. Personally, I've been listening and telling stories since I was a kid. I like listening stories, watching movies, watching cartoons, watching series, and devouring every story. I grew up with these stories, so I live with a lot of them. I look for new and interesting stories with different plots that make me feel like I want to be part of those storie

Mint: What inspired you to choose Kinnporsche when you just had re-debuted with Warner Music?

Jeff: I get this question a lot during interviews. The first question always was "do you see yourself as a musician or as an actor?" and I would answer "I'm a singer, I don't like acting. I can't do it". In the past, I had never accepted an acting job and I always wanted someone else to be in my MVs, because I didn't like acting and I didn't like to see my face on the screen. I was like I just want to sign autographs, let someone else do the acting instead.

My re-debut with Warner Music was 2 years ago, and I chose the "No boundaries" concept, because I wanted my work had no limits or line. I feel like I've grown up in a way that I shouldn't have a limit to work in anything. If I want to tell something or play something, I just do it. The division is a fictional thing. Being a singer. Being a actor. Even about women and men, about love. All of them are human-made frameworks. I decided to cut them off and focus on being an artist in my own way.

Mint: Do you think you'll change more in the future?

Jeff: I can't answer for the future. It may changed. But now... I don't know. Maybe I will be more open or maybe narrow down until I can find something that truly fits me. In this moment, I feel like the more I open, the more I can see clearer what fits me and what not. Where and how much I can add myself into the works. At the end of the day, all the 6 songs I released are totally different but they all are my songs and they are me today.

Mint: Are you happy with your old works?

Jeff: I'm very happy. I'm happy with everything I've done, even with my old works.

Mint: Since the day you joined Be On Cloud, do you feel like you have grown up?

Jeff: I've grown up a lot. Working with Be On Cloud has been one of the most important moments in my life. Their work culture have made me grown a lot. P'Pong has taught me how to grow up, how to change in terms of working methods and how to think as well, not only as an artist but also as a person who wants to follow a direction as a CEO.

Mint: What's do you think is the difference between Be On Cloud and Warner’s work culture?

Jeff: P'Pond is a very creative person, he's an artist whose projects are very sexy. I got a lot of great things from him, both as an artist and as an executive, and it has a balanced level of familiarity and professionalism.

Warner is being very professional since the beginning, and as time goes on, it's becoming a family with the Global Company system. Although it's a professional style, you can feel the human touch and the love is put into work.

Mint: Personally, what kind of working culture are you most comfortable with?

Jeff: I like both. They have different advantages, so I decided I want to try it for myself. And Studio on Saturn was born, wich is a Jeff Satur Management Company (laughs). It's a co-management with Warner Music, which means I'm in charge of the creative direction and they will help me to make them come true.

Mint: Has working with these two companies changed you?

Jeff: I think the change has to do more with myself and being working in different genres. The more I open up, the more I feel myself, and the more I have the desire to be myself. Especially when I look back to my acting roles, I feel like there are still parts that I want to expand and play on the stage. I started to see clearly what I like in the show. For example my last MV has a lot of me personally than the first MV I released. Working with Be On Cloud and Warner Music have encouraged me and let me dare to be myself.

Mint: So before that, you didn't dare to be yourself?

Jeff: I didn't dare. In the past, I was quite afraid of how others would look at me. I was afraid that people would categorize me in a way that I didn't want to. So I didn't dare to do anything. For example, it took me 3 years to upload my first video on YouTube, because it was easier just to sit in front of the mirror and play the guitar comfortably, without lightning or a camera. It turns out you have to be the one who dares to take yourself out, just by yourself.

Mint: Why didn't you dare to be yourself back then?

Jeff: I think it was because I didn't know how to be myself. I used to not believe what I thought was right. Some cultures make you think that being yourself is not always right. For example, when I was a kid, if I painted my nails or wore eyeliner, I would be teased by my friends. The society didn't empower me to be myself. At home, my mum supported me but when I was outside, the society looked at me in a different way.

Nowadays, there is a lot of talk about gender diversity and beauty standards. I think it has opened many doors for everyone to dare to be themselves more without having to care about what people think/say.

Mint: So we can say that Jeff is being himself now.

Jeff: Yes, in the past, when I was on stage, I was myself but at the same time, I was worried if I was singing right or if I was performing right. If I had to walk or stay still. If I had to come back to the middle of the stage... It turned out that the focus was wrong. Even if I still focus on the work, I can say that I'm 100% myself.

For example my last concert ended without me even realizing it (laughs). The audience probably felt the same way. It went so quickly that I didn't even have time to think anything. I just performed.

Mint: What do you get from Kinnporsche?

Jeff: I always get something back to be someone other than myself. Whether from 'Kim' in KinnPorsche or 'Dan' that I played in the drama "Closer", they always teach me something. From Kim's character I got the courage from him without knowing it. I developed some skills and now they're part of me implicitly. I dare to be myself because Kim's courage came to me.

Mint: You're famous now. Is it what you were waiting for?

Jeff: I don't think I'm famous but my work is more widely known. But it's not something I was yearning for (laughs) I just want people to listen to my music. I want these songs to reach them. What I'm most proud of is that my work has inspired others. I used to write a blog and the message of my blog has helped many people who wanted to commit suicide and I got messages back to tell me they feel better because of my work. No matter what kind of work, but I feel like this is the essence of being an artist. I want my work to inspire others. That's what means to be an artist for me.

Mint: How much does Jeff Satur value his fame today?

Jeff: I value the work. Some people may look at how-well known you are as a success, which it's not wrong, but I feel if you pay attention to how famous you are, you will have the wrong focus. If you're chasing after fame, it will never come to you. But if you work for doing a good job, then the fame will eventually be there. The most important thing is don't compete with other, compete with yourself. Also, fame will be gone one day, and Jeff Satur will not be here forever. But as long as I can be someone's inspiration and sell produce good works, then I will do my best.

Mint: Do you think Kinnporshe has helped people to get to know you?

Jeff: Very much, very much. It's being one of the most important turning points in my life. Including the song "Why don't you stay" has make people to get to know me and listen to my other songs as well. It has pushed me both in my acting career and my music career.

Mint: Have you ever felt sorry that people didn't know you before Kinporsche?

Jeff: I think everything has its own time. If I listen to "Afraid to say" now, I would need to cover my ears (laughs). I felt it was not the right time. I have improved my singing a lot as well as my confidence, which back then was not as strong as today. The stage is my safe place now, and I feel so relaxed on it. I can live there. So I would say everything, including my perception, is at the perfect time. Not better, not worse, but just perfect. It's the best moment.

Mint: Have KinnPorsche The Series World Tour 2023 help you to support your next step?

Jeff: It has helped. The World Tour allowed me to meet people that I don't usually meet like fans abroad. There are places like Taipei, Vietnam or Singapore that I'd never been to, But once I went and I could see how there are people who actually listen to my songs and they sing in Thai is wow, so there is an opportunity to do a World Tour.

Mint: We’ve seen you being more playful on stage, what gives you the courage to unlock this part of you?

Jeff: I've said before that fans like to do memes with my face, right? Like when they find something funny or hilarious. They do like everything about me, even the parts I don't like at all, so I don't have to be cool all the time if I can make them happy anyway. In fact, we're crazy people. When I go to stage, it's the same. I'm tired of "oh, the camera is here, give me a good angle" (laughs)

Mint: Your first solo concert is the starting point or a checkpoint?

Jeff: It's the end of the last chapter. It's the beginning of a new chapter and the end of the last chapter. Oh, what a poet! (laughs). I never thought I could tell the story of my life at the beginning of my concert. The VCR is like a video that I wrote about what I experienced when I was a child, what I used to play and what kind of music I used to hear. There I was playing with Joey, then I was playing the harp, and listening to Korean music too. Perhaps people don't know it, but I'm a Korean music fan, so I picked all of these things to tell. There are many things in my life that have been conveyed through this concert.

Mint: Was your first idea for the VCR like this?

Jeff: Have you ever watched Evangelion? It's an anime and the ending is very confusing, but I think the idea was cool, so I though Why don't I try to tell life stories? Think about it like a sound is made with a story, so every sound has a story, and everyone has a different sound, but also I have a sound that I've collected unconsciously. I want to tell people that there are sounds for everyone. Sometimes there are songs that sound bad but there are not bad songs. There isn't a sad song for everyone or a love song for everyone. it's just one of your songs.

As for the sound of tearing the screen... At that time, I thought it was a cool idea (laughs). That part is dark, right, and then it starts tearing. I explained it to my team and everyone was confused so I got acrylics colors and black paper and I painted it to show them what I wanted and they finally got it. I watched that scene a lot of times and everyone was like, "hey, what's going on?" (laughs). It was just like I imagined in my head, but I didn't do it in the middle of the stage as I wanted at first.

Mint: How do you handle your ideas when you're working with others?

Jeff: First of all, I write them down. Write them all over my phone no matter if they're good or bad ideas. But write them down first. Then, the next day I will check them to see if there's something that works. As for the moment when I have to show them to others... sometimes I have problems explaining them so I have to make them first to see what it will be like. But everyone is always respectful and understand it.

Mint: In addition to this idea, you also chose all the songs for the setlist.

Jeff: Yes, I chose all of them and put them together. The videos, the ideas, the outfits, the set... I feel like people will think that the performance is very serious, but it's a place for us. I feel like I live on stage because it's my safe zone so I want it to represent me.

Mint: Why did you decide to put the song "ไม่กล้าบอกชัด" (Afraid to say) on the setlist?

Jeff: It's a reminder of the beginning. I've reached a safest point, the middle, but this song is part of me and it reminds me of my childhood and how he's known as Jeff Satur now, so why not sing the first song that made me known? I sang this first song with him in the back of my mind. We're far away and maybe he can't see us clearly but I sang that song with him. Slowly I've come forward and end up on a stage, so it was like meeting him with the first song.

Mint: You are involved in every step of your work so, do you get obsessed with the result?

Jeff: It's hard, like in the music video, I sat and edited it as well. I sat and use an editing program to tap and see the frames because I wanted the image in my head to come out as straight as possible. P'Pan, who is the director, helped me. If my idea wasn't working, I had P'Pan to guide me. He listened to my idea and my story and helped me to write it, so I have to thank him very much.

Mint: What else will we see in the next step?

Jeff: There are many things that I can't say but I'm very excited to try out. I still want to try to play in a movie which it's something I've never done before. I have some collab projects with a thai artist and with a foreign artist too, which I never thought he would want to collaborate with me. And there are places that I've never been and I'm very excited to go. I can't say anything right now but it's coming very soon. Everybody will slowly see it like reading a novel and wondering what the next chapter will tell (laughs).

Mint: Anything you'd like to say to the future Jeff Satur in 2 years?

Jeff: Live a happy life because you owe me one.

[plaguethewaters]

little superhero au thingie!! except the superhero part is super duper nonexistent and this chapter is litterally just cbeeduo proposal. Enjoy!

---

"You've gotta forgive me, because I'm about to get really sappy here."

Ranboo says, and Tubbo thinks it's awfully ironic. It's night, brilliant stars shining over them - the only true advantage of no public lighting at all - they're on the roof, sitting on the thickest blanket they own and huddling together for whatever warmth they can find, the few remnants of their picnic laid abandoned to the side. They've been out all evening, eating sweets and heart shaped sandwiches, because Ranboo had always been a little extra. He thinks, we've gotten past the sappiness threshold a whole lot ago, and also, there's no way whatever you've got to say could be worse than this romance novel ass- situation.

His hand is taken into Ranboo's, who starts rubbing at his knuckles with his thumb. He does that often, when he's nervous - but also, Tubbo muses, he's nervous about pretty much every single aspect of his life, so this isn't anything new. Then he starts talking, with a way too big, almost suspicious smile on his face, his voice low.

"You know I don't- I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am now. I didn't know this kind of happy even existed, I think, not until you two came into my life." His gaze is soft and, as previously anticipated, unworldly sappy. "You've made me truly content with my life in entirely new ways, and continue to do so every single day. I can't really imagine my future without you in it."

"You're making this sound like a marriage proposal, bossman." Tubbo giggles, just to lighten the mood. Mostly because he's right, and he does not know if he could survive the weight of a love so, so fucking ginormous, settled on his shoulder's like the world's heavier and softer mountain, not without a little comedic relief.

"I mean..." Ranboo kisses his hand, doing a so-and-so gesture with his free one, "Kind of?"

The mountain doesn't move, and Tubbo's suffocating. This is not how he imagined he would die.

"I-uh. sorry?" he manages to shutter, while his mind helpfully supplies him with a series of his possible obituaries. "Young man dies of Too Much Emotion.". or "Romantic relationship actually a trap, Villain dies because Boyfriend loves him too much." (Boyfriend? Fiancè????? What the absolute hell.)

"I mean, i mean not now, obviously that's- that would be a little too much to dump on you so soon." Ranboo laughs, clearly as nervous as he looks. "Just, like, I've prepared a whole speech, goddammit, let me say it properly."

Tubbo sees the light. His heart is definitely going to explode.

"Okay I've, I've started this a little wrong. Because I said, right, I said, I can't imagine my life without you, but it's more like, like, I couldn't have imagined my life without you. I would've never even tried. I don't think I realized I could imagine a life for myself outside- outside of hero work. I either died at fifteen - or, or seventeen, or twenty, or whatever limit I decided to give myself that year - or got an eternity of work, no escape at all. Then, then you, and Tommy, and suddenly I'm dreaming of white picket fences and wedding bells and large breed dogs and- did you know I was a writer? When I was little, I used to have notebooks over notebooks full of short horror stories, and then I stopped because with housework and normal work and trying not to starve I never had the time - you've made me want to write again. You made me realize I could dream, and follow those dreams and succeed."

The speech comes out rushed, all too many words confined in all too little space, too little time. He sounds like he's afraid if he doesn't speak soon enough, someone is going to come and steal his voice, leaving his feelings forever entrapped.

His gaze shifts, and now he's staring directly into Tubbo's eyes. The intensity is overwhelming, oppressive, painful. His eyes bore into Tubbo's skull with the force of a drill, carving a hole from his eye socket to the center of his brain, then making a little cave in it and resting in it's center.

"I don't- marriage right now would not be a good idea, I don't think, but? Maybe, in the future... Will you marry me?"

Their stares break, and the parasite removes itself from Tubbo's poor, poor brain. Then he's playing with Tubbo's fingers, looking blushy and shy to the side - because of course he's nervous now, after completely destroying him, leaving unable to think anything but an infinite sting of I love yous and wondering how on earth he got this lucky and fuck. Tubbo would die a thousand times over if it got him to look this pretty again.

What the hell was he supposed to say now? He isn't, and has never really been good with words, not when actions and punches have always done the job just as well - how could he speak now, having been hit in the face with a confession like that? With the, the- he would call it the burden, he guesses, but that's just entirely the wrong word - the responsibility, the knowledge he's the reason Ranboo was able to grow and get through all of that, given to him like it is no big deal. He would've never thought of that. In fact, he was worried he'd been doing way too little support wise, lacking the knowledge and emotional maturity needed to properly help someone like that.

Like even now, after the whole speech, he still isn't all that convinced. All he ever did was love Ranboo - which isn't news, and would continue not to be news as far as he's concerned. He loves him, will love him even if he somewhat disagrees with the confession, because how could he be possibly worth so much in Ranboo's eyes, who deserves so much more than he could possibly give, and he loves him so much - but he does not know how to say any of that.

So, he just kisses him.

And again, and again, trying to push into his lips anything that cannot fit into his mouth and failing still, but nobody's to say he doesn't fucking try. When he stops, it's because his traitorous body runs out of air to breathe, but he still keeps as close as possible, resting his forehead on Ranboo's. If he has to stop to breathe, they'll fucking share the breaths too.

----

Ranboo has learned, by now, that Tubbo kisses like he's fighting.

Mostly by way of focus and determination: he kisses with the same kind of concentration one might have when operating a sniper rifle - or, much more topically, when defusing a tickling bomb. There's no second in which he's idle, any rest clearly ruled by strict necessity rather than any want or will. When he does retreat, surrendering finally to the need of air, he doesn't part neither far nor long, touching their foreheads together or breathing in his neck, his hands mapping all available territory to make way for later exploration.

Ranboo has seen him battle, has fought him directly in the past, and he finds no difference between the crushing adrenaline of a missed punch, of wrestling for a loaded gun, of running towards a lit fuse - and whatever he is feeling right now.

A hand finds its way to his thigh, squeezing the soft flesh, and the little air he'd managed to keep in his poor lungs gets knocked out of him. Maybe they are in battle, actually. Maybe killing him is Tubbo's way of saying no.

Because - and he's said this already, but his brain is too scrambled to pay attention to something as utterly unimportant as repetition (anything less important than this). Because he's used to Tubbo, to the way he seems to equate love and war, to the almost violence of his affections but this feels... different, somehow. Somewhat. He's not focused enough to register what's actually changed.

Maybe it's the way his mind had already been lost in the anxiety of the moment, before his little speech, and the suspense for an answer now; or maybe it's just the thick layer of tears evenly coating each of their faces.

Which, by the way, does not help to ease his worries at all, to be entirely honest. Not that - don't get him wrong, it's not that the kissing isn't nice (heavenly, wonderful, amazing, showstopping and a plethora of other words that do not even come close) but it doesn't really enlighten him as to what Tubbo's answer is going to be. Is this a "Yes of course I'm going to marry you" type of kiss or more, like, "No how dare you ask that I'm kissing you just so you shut up" deal?

(Now, a normal person, in a hypothetical fictional audience, would probably butt in right about now with, let's say, a text to speech device of some sort. And they would say, with all the confidence of anonymity, they'd say: "Ranboo, this is a really stupid dilemma. Why would he ever choose to reject with a kiss? Nobody does that ever." And they would probably be right! But the hand is still on his thigh, and another hand is rubbing slow circles into his waist, and the kiss is still happening, so forgive him if his reasonings aren't all that rational right about now.)

He manages to detach himself eventually - not easily, not even particularly willingly - for the few moments absolutely necessary to regain a couple braincells and learn how to use his own mouth again.

"Uh- U, I, Is this-" Not to use it well, mind you, but he isn't going to complain. he'll take what he can get and deal with it. "Uhu-"

"What was that, bossman?" Tubbo giggles, voice still raspy from the assault to his lips, and Ranboo finds it somewhat insulting; loquacity is an absurd standard to hold for the guy currently being lobotomized.

"Wh- was that, uh" Tubbo's hand is slowly rubbing at his cheek in what was probably meant to be encouragement, but only manages to scramble his brains even more. "Was that a yes?

"No."

His stomach plummets.

He knows, logically, that he should not have expected anything. They've been dating for not even a year, and this was sprung on Tubbo so suddenly, and everyone always say to never ask if you aren't sure your partner will say yes but Ranboo will never be sure of anything in his life (at least not how he was sure this would've worked) and he needed to ask like, physically. And at the end of the day it's not like this is gonna mean anything for their relationship, because ring or not he knows Tubbo loves him (maybe, hopefully, because he cannot begin to imagine the contrary, it would tear him apart), but he had dared to hope-

"No," Tubbo continues, "I've just started making out with you, because that is how normal people reject proposals in real life." He's smiling, still caressing his cheek, and Ranboo wants to die a little less. He pointedly ignored the disembodied voice of the fictional audience member reminding him how they were right. (Just because you were doesn't mean you gotta act mean about it. Meanie.)

He groans, quite loudly, so that all of his horrible pain is heard, and hides his shameful face in the warm crook of Tubbo's neck.

"Never start a sentence like that ever again, for the love of god."

Tubbo laughs, bright and loud. "Oh, you poor baby", he croons, mockingly. Ranboo is being made fun of, but the guy doing it is exceptionally beautiful and also his fiance now, so all the haters are quite obviously just jealous.

"You're right though," Tubbo continues, "I wasn't quite finished answering."

Whatever smart, flirty and witty reply Ranboo could have given him gets swallowed by a chocking sound, as the push of lips and the warmth of hands pull him onto yet another battlefield.

---

"You know what would be really, really funny actually?" Tubbo asks, after everything is done. He's basically sitting in Ranboo's lap now, only one lonely knee left hanging on the blanket. They cuddle together tighter, mostly because they want to, but also because it got so cold on that roof once the sun went down and now it feels far below freezing.

"Hmmmm..." he rumbles, a content rumble (NOT. a purr. shut up.) so loud it almost hides his voice. "No, what would?"

"If we just pretended to be married already." Tubbo sits up a little bit.

"Just like. Hear me out."

"I'm hearing, I'm hearing."

"Okay, for one - we've got like, another full year before we would be able to actually get married and you and I both know I've got zero patience to wait that long. And we're like, super wanted criminals, so nobody would want to marry us even if we were legal, right?"

"Absolutely correct."

"And also. Think of the Bitches faces when we get into battle against them and we have wedding bands on, calling each other 'husband' and shit"

A pause.

"Oh, oh my god" They both start laughing at the same time, falling back into the blankets in a mountain of little giggles. The thought is, as expected, absolutely hilarious, and with the added giddiness of being able to be husbands, of loving each other that much - it doesn't look like they'll be stopping anytime soon.

The moon is high in the sky, the cold is still frigid, and their laughs are loud enough for several noise complaints. Tonight, they hug each other and go to bed. Tomorrow, chaos would begin for real.

[ninjagirlstar5]

You've seen me ramble about the problems with Kanade and Chapter 3, so you know how I feel. It really does feel like LINUJ went for pure shock value instead of anything narratively satisfying. I like your take on the idea, where instead of just the shock and horror, there's actual purpose and character behind it.

The twins do really seem like they would be a great cautionary tale of mutual toxicity and obsession, and I like the idea of them reuniting only because there were people in need during The Tragedy.

And I admit I'm biased, but I'm always happy to see more stories where Hibiki actually survives ^^

OH yeah, I have. I've read most (if not all) of those asks on the ASOOT blog as they were coming out and it made me realize how bad SDRA2's Chapter 3 is. And when I actually sat down to play the game myself with my friend, I went from knowing that Chapter 3 is bad to actually experiencing how bad it was for myself. Like, it went from, "Oh, it's kinda okay so far, but I know the shoe is gonna drop at some point-" to "OH WOW, it really IS that bad, dear lord." Like, Jesus Christ, this chapter was...a lot and yet full of nothing at the same time beyond just shock value. It's not as if the whole serial killer thing couldn't have worked, the problem is that all the people that's closely connected to the case gets axed all in one go, and it's kinda just...never brought up again. Like, come on. If you're going to go THAT far, at least give it SOME kind of importance to a character connected to this shitshow, like Hibiki. Who got killed off alongside Kanade. Like, thanks, I hate it. There's so many things wrong with Chapter 3 and how Kanade was handled that the best thing to do for both is to just rewrite it all from the ground up. So when my brain started giving me ideas on how it could be rewritten, I decided I needed to get it out of my system and tried to approach it in a more human and complicated way than something as twistedly evil to the point of shock value. Kanade is at least more pitiable here since you can actually understand her on SOME level but never excuse her actions as she's still toxic in her right towards Hibiki (who's also toxic to her in return). She's just not being a serial killer about it.

AND YEAH, that's pretty much what I was going for for them. I wanted to keep the nuances of their relationship on how they're mutually toxic to one another since that's very interesting to see. There's no such thing as a "perfect" victim, as there are many that have done messed up things in response to what they've been put through but still desperately needing help or even an intervention from a reasonable authority figure, and Hibiki and Kanade could've been great examples of that. But one actively chooses to change while the other doesn't...at least in one of the interpretations of how their rewritten relationship could end as would be revealed in the Chapter 6 version of this. Ngl, I wasn't sure which interpretation I liked more as I can see both versions happening, with Kanade and Hibiki coming back together through the Tragedy as some events are able to give people an opportunity to bond and mend what's broken back together again, while other times not even a world-wide disaster will get someone to change and things remain broken due to one side having an unwillingness to hold themselves accountable for their own actions. Both are feasible in this rewritten version and I decided to let this be something for other people to decide for themselves on whether or not Kanade and Hibiki can mend their relationship after being separated for so long and if the Tragedy can bring them back together through their charity events. After all, some people have their limits and Kanade still did a lot of horrible things to other people, so it really depends on whether or not you'd believe it'd possible for them to repair their relationship, even after so many years of not talking to one another. A possible rebuilt of their relationship that unfortunately gets nipped in the bud thanks to Mikado's killing game reverting them back to a state where their old toxic behavior was at it's peak, and one of them ending up killing and getting executed because of it. Either way, we could've had doomed siblings instead of...whatever the fuck canon is.

And trust me, me and my friend are right with you on that. We really wished Hibiki had survived and complain about it every now and then whenever we bring up Kanade and Chapter 3. It's just...such a waste to kill her off like that. My girl deserved better.

[studyingpookie]

HEYYY GUUUYSSS!!!

What's upppp??? Here I just couple of photos from today!! Hope y'all enjoy!

Things for school that I've done today:

- history of art (starting all over to revise for my exam)

- computer science (just did assignments)

- started to edit my advertisment for my film class (I need to start it all over but now I have my mind set on what I want and need so that's fine)

So if you want you can read all about today but it's a lot 💀 like a LOT. I really wanted to describe this day sorry 🙏🙏🙏

So today was the first day of finals in my country, the good thing is that I'm not participating in this I still have two years till then. 🥳🥳

I've decided yesterday that this Tuesday will be ONLY for me and be my kinda rest day, I would be just chilling going through the city buy something to eat and drink. Well... My plan kinda shattered.

For starters I wasn't alone, my dad happened to be in the city and we went to dinner together. I'm not a big fan of crowded and obligated places especially when I eat. Long story short we talked a lot, I mean for sure more than normally. This made me super hopeful, I don't want to vent here by any means because I just feel uncomfortable with it but It was a really needed experience.

I thought at first that I'm gonna just go back to my place and study but i decided to push my limits. I went to the mall by myself and walked to the gallery to see if there are this McDonald's plushies AND GUYS HOW HAPPY IM THAT I DID THAT. So if you don't know McDonald's have now collaboration with hello kitty and some anime I forgot the name of it 💀 and now they have in stock super cute plushies!!!!

I really wanted this yellow dog because just look at him he is super cute! Or this black penguin. I went to 6 McDonald's to searching for this fricking dog because I wanted him the most but than when I was ready to give up miracle happened.. I saw it. The mf penguin. Words won't and can't describe how happy I felt. I immediately went to buy this happy meal. And now I got him. My very own penguin 😭🙏🐧

I started to binge watching this series called World's Strictest parents on YouTube I really recommend it if you are interested! I love seeing these kids change or I can look at things from their perspective (ngl I almost cried during one episode) Also I looked up songs that will be on Eurovision, my favourite for now is "La noia" by Italian artist Angelina Mango. I can't wait to see who wins and what score Poland will get! I think this year we have a good song to show off but we will see how it goes.

I'm not gonna talk about my studies because it's boring and I just studied while being super sleepy, tired and bored as hell. History of art IS interesting but I don't really like remembering the names of people and things. It's super hard for me and it's only going to be worse. Why these names are so hard 😭😭 and why I can't get into my head any Italian artist 💀

And guys the last thing is that I found the CUTEST BAG (that I can afford at least) at first I wanted to buy it from joom but then I found the exact same bag on AliExpress and it's slightly cheeper. One time I shopped from AliExpress and I was quite surprised that the quality was actually good. I hope it would be the case with that one! I will try to order it tomorrow 🙏 "we're getting what's in my bag" with that one boys 😈

[moonlit-tulip]

Wholeheartedness, Part 2: Flinch-Elimination

Long ago, being in the presence of wasps made me very nervous. What if they stung me? The swelling would be uncomfortable, and the pain would be inconveniently distracting! This would be a bad outcome; I wanted to avoid it. Thus I would, whenever I noticed a wasp near me, stand still until it went away.

This habit caused me more inconvenience than the two wasp stings I'd received in my life up to that point ever did.

Once I noticed this, I decided: fine. Let's just go get stung by more wasps, then, until I'm inured to it and no longer freeze up when wasps are near.

And thus, having resolved this, I no longer had any need to fear the attacks of wasps. If I were to walk at full speed near one, and it were to respond by stinging me, this would be a step forward along the path to inurement, which would be an acceptable thing to gain in return for the cost in discomfort and inconvenience.

It's an old story. (One I've told before, even.) But the relevant principles don't end with wasp stings.

Currently, I do my web searches via a paid subscription service, rather than free via Google; the results are better, and with how much web-searching I do and how much money I have to spare it's a pretty solidly worthwhile deal. But they offer only a limited number of searches per month complementary with the subscription; if one exceeds that number of searches in a month—200, at my current subscription tier—one will need to either stop searching for the rest of the month or start paying 1.5 cents per search. And when I first subscribed I got very flinchy about trying not to search too much, out of fear of that extra charge. Because 1.5 cents is a cost, and surely I'd rather avoid paying that cost on any given search if I don't have to, right?

But, of course, making substantially less use of web search would be a much larger cost than an extra few dollars a month. (I am, after all, paying them money specifically for the sake of getting more out of my web-searching; searching less would run actively counter to the reasons I subscribe at all.) So I did the natural thing: I decided to deliberately search profligately until I broke the 200-search ceiling and started paying additional marginal money per search, for a couple months, until inured to that experience. It's been going great so far: I haven't yet hit the ceiling, but I sure am no longer flinching away from the searches I want to make.

Or, for a third example, this time one where I actually succeeded in exposing myself to more of the flinch-inducing thing: water bills. I used to flinch away from drinking water, because I knew it'd add on the margins to my house's water bills. This was doing me more harm than good. So I took a few extra baths, compared with what I'd otherwise have taken—together summing up to an amount of water-use that my drinking rates would have taken weeks or months to sum up to, since a bathtub's worth of water is in fact A Lot—and I observed that no great financial disaster ensued as a result, and that was the end of my flinching-from-drinking-water.

Backing off and generalizing, now: sometimes, there are inconveniences whose possibility I flinch from, where the flinches cost far more than the cost of just enduring the inconveniences occasionally. And, under those circumstances, it can often be useful to deliberately overcompensate against the flinch response. To try, not just to suppress the flinch response in each individual instance (which tends to be an attention-demanding and difficult process), but to actively toss myself at the flinch-inducing thing until I'm so thoroughly inured to it that it ceases to produce flinch-responses-in-need-of-suppression in the first place. As long as I'm tossing myself in that direction, the tossing overrides the flinch response. Once I've succeeded sufficiently in the tossing, inurement will override the flinch response. And thus the mental overhead of needing to suppress the response will be eliminated, to my benefit as long as I was correct in my choice of what flinch response to get rid of in the first place.

Because intuitively-appealing steps to avoiding inconveniences can be more inconvenient than the inconveniences being avoided, sometimes. And it's valuable, when that happens, to be able to just stop avoiding them.