#dear lord. get your shit together man

[pbjpuppy]

hi if u know me DONT FACKING READ THE TAGS I need to shout into the void ok? love you. have a puppy picture

[ghosts-bandwagon]

how would the 141 and König react if they accidentally walked in on reader changing?

Ooh meOW I love this! 😉

tw: slight NSFW/suggestive themes

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:

If you’re in a relationship, he’ll get comfortable and lean against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, legs crossed one over the other. You’ve got your back to him as you’re getting ready for the day,

He’s watching you silently, watching your every movement, eyes tracking the gorgeous curves of your body, hypnotized by the curve of your ass as you lean down to pull your shorts up your legs. You start pulling your shirt over your head but you’re quickly stopped by the warm strong hands you love so much

“Not ready for the show to end.” He’s pulling you flush against him, your back against his chest as his hands glide up the smooth skin of your torso, stopping to rest gently on your throat tilting your head to the side, kissing along the column of your neck

“Si, we’ve got a lot to do today.” You whined, eyeing the pile of laundry in the corner,

“Name one thing that’s worth me stopping what I’m doing, and I’ll stop.”

You couldn’t come up with a single thing

John ‘Soap’ MacTavish:

This little shit (with your consent obvs) is intentionally avoiding announcing himself. You’re getting ready for your date and this mf tiptoes into your room and leans against the wall, watching you carefully.

God he could never get used to how fucking beautiful you are, the curves of your waist, your long beautiful legs, your pretty hands, dear lord you take his breath away, he can’t sit still just watching you

You’ve got your back turned to him and before you know it you feel his warm hands running down your waist, over your hips, his kissing the nape of your neck.

“Johnny, we’ll be late for our reservation.” You giggle,

“I’ve got more pressing matters to attend to.” He’s nipping the skin of your throat, turning you around to kiss the life out of you

(Spoiler alert: you missed your res and wound up ordering in)

John Price:

A true gentleman, it doesn’t matter if you’ve just gotten together or been in a relationship for years, he’ll apologize and look away, cheeks and tips of his ears a bright shade of red

Correction. He’ll make a show of looking away, but he’s peeking out of the corner of his eye if you’re changing and still facing him

But if you’ve got your back to him, sweetheart he is drinking that view up. He’s breathing evenly through his nose to keep from crossing the room in two long strides and devouring you

It’s like I said, he’s a gentleman and a patient man. He knows damn well he’ll have more time to savor you after your dinner date. He doesn’t have much a sweet tooth, so he doesn’t care for deserts.

But the best and sweetest part of his evening will be peeling that gorgeous outfit off of you, and swallowing all the pretty noises you’ll make for him.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Gerrick:

He loves poking fun at you, he knows you’re changing, but when he wakes in he acts startled, shocked that he’s caught you in such a vulnerable position! Why didn’t you warn him?

He always makes you laugh, you throw the shirt you were about to put on at his head and he dodges with ease

“Actually I need that, can you toss it back to me?”

“Hm. I’ll think about it.” He teased, walking over to you and bringing you in close by the loops of your jeans, “Quite like you like this though.”

“Oh yeah? So when we’re at dinner you’d be fine with me out there like this?” You giggled, lower lip pulled between your teeth as you smile at him widely,

“Who says we need to go anywhere, babe? Could eat at home.” You playfully smacked his arm,

“Nothing could possibly compare to the meal I’ve got in front of me.”

As you looked at him through hooded eyes, you realized you felt the same.

König:

He always gets flustered, doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, he’s beet red and covering his eyes or pointedly looking up at the ceiling.

BUT! If you catch him in a particularly touchy mood, he gets a little brave and sits down on the bed to watch you.

“Getting in bed already? I thought we were watching that new show tonight.” You teased looking over your shoulder, you pulled your pajama pants up your long beautiful legs, and turned to grab the tshirt you set aside when you came out of your shower

He grabbed the shirt before you were able to successfully reach it and set it down beside him,

“I might prefer a different show this evening, schatz.” His voice dipped into the range that told you his intentions,

“W-what kind of show?” It always caught you off guard seeing him like this, always stirred the heat in your gut and between your legs,

He laid down on your shared bed, his legs out stretched in front of him, and he tapped one of his muscular thighs,

“Why don’t you come here and find out, maus?”

[deathbxnny]

HEHEHEHEH HELLO AGAIN BXXNY!!!

I am so obsessed with this man even if he doesn't do big pp DMG and I have no idea how to use him he's still on my team (with Yelan Klee and Zhongli)

ANYWAYS!! Kinich with a girlfriend that's like his childhood best friend, both pretty obsessed with each other tbh, but Ajaw is a little shit that loves making Kinich's life hell, so he acts all sweet with reader, always crying crocodile tears to her and just sucking up to her, basking in all the attention and cuddles she gives him while making sure to paint Kinich in a bad light.

Of course reader knows Ajaw's little plan... but she does love seeing Kinich so frustrated, so she always agrees with Ajaw... I'll leave the rest to you!

(I'm so happy to get this other idea out you have no idea)

Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy. | Kinich x Fem!Reader feat. Ajaw

I want to kiss your brain, dear moot!! Your idea is so good, I could eat it for dinner rn!!<33

Content: Jealous Kinich, established relationship, Ajaw being a menace as usual, fluff, kinda unserious, sfw

Reader is asked to be fem/afab!

((Not proofread))

Ajaw was always determined to make Kinich's life a living hell out pure of spite. Nothing else brought him so much joy, and therefore, he used all his free times to scheme and plan his next evil shenanigans against him. It wasn't an easy thing to do by no means, though, since the man was often unbothered and indifferent by his presence, going so far as to banish the dragon lord at times to get rid of him momentarily.

But all of his hard work became a lot lighter when you and Kinich finally became a couple after years of being "just friends". The dragon lord saw his golden opportunity for the perfect revenge, one he achieved through your kind, unsuspecting heart and kindness towards him.

To you, Ajaw could do no wrong. No matter what it was, you often took his side when he whined and gave you those perfectly teary eyes whilst accusing Kinich of being mean to HIM. That produced much better results than anything the dragon lord could've ever planned, and it brought him indescribable joy to see his dear companions visible annoyance.

Now, you ofcourse were very much aware of Ajaw's silly, evil plans, but seeing your boyfriend so easily angered and jealous at the attention you gave the menace of a creature he was stuck with, was unfortunately too cute to pass up. Of course, you'd make it up to him with gentle kisses and cuddle sessions... but until then, you played along.

Whenever Ajaw came flying to you out of "fear", after Kinich "threatened" to put him in time-out again, you'd coo at his plight and pat him on the head, a playful and sympathetic pout in your lips that ticked your boyfriend off.

At times, he'd even interrupt your time together during dates, demanding attention in the most dramatic ways possible, knowing how jealous it made the man who was very much obsessed with you. He could never be angry at you, but Ajaw was not spared from his wrath. He tried to stay calm and remind himself that it was all just to get a reaction out of him, but it was hard when he was close to reaching over and strangling him.

You eventually had to stop your games to calm him down and remind him that it was all indeed just playful banter... especially after Ajaw received the darkest glare known to man, when he attempted to ruin another date with you.

The allmighty dragon lord miraculously stopped his plans for a while, mainly because he suddenly didn't feel like facing your loving boyfriend's wrath after all...

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘 - 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 🪩 ❞ - 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc; Nadia

summary: most of the social media post made throughout the miami gp weekend!

warning: twitter environment (you know the deal), cussing.

saint’s team radio: hi everyone! just wanted to give y’all a little something something before releasing ‘break my soul’ ! i’m a bit sick rn but i will get back into my groove very very soon 🤭

dividers by: @cafekitsune

pls like, comment and reblog! 🫶🏽

taglist: @queenshikongo3 @mauvecherie-writes @httpsserene @lorarri @goldenalbon @yeea-nah @non-stop-imagines (lmk if you want to be tagged!)

-

twitter

instagram

nadiahamilton

liked by lilymhe, badgalriri and 1,383,994 others

nadiahamilton yes i know where he keeps his music and no, i won’t be telling you where 🫶🏽

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nadiahamilton it was sooo nice meeting you guys this weekend 🥹

pinned by author

user i swear you’re his lucky charm

fransisca.cgomes mother ‼️

alexandrasaintmleux and if i ask for your hand in marriage?

nadiahamilton let’s run away

user i fell in love everytime you appeared on screen

user her energy is so refreshing, even if it’s through a tv or phone 😭

user where do you get your clothes???

nadiahamilton i’ll make a highlight for all the stores i shop at 🫶🏽

herstudent i hope school’s open soon, we need the tea!!

nadiahamilton you’ll be getting the pamphlets for the medieval times instead 😚

user his arm…dear lord

nadiahamilton i know, can’t believe it’s wrapped around me rn 🥹

user13 no way she just said that????

yungfilly bestie takin over miami!!

chunkz i think this is where you’re wrong brotha 🤨

niko you’re right, i’m the bestie

nellarose_ YOU’RE ALL WRONG 🤣

nataliatheedon and if i smack your ass, i’m wrong 😔

nadiahamilton bc it really hurt plus you were running behind me????

mercedesamgf1 Mrs Mercedes 🤍

user lewis is washed, never going to get that 8th

nadiahamilton watch your mouth 🙏🏽

lilymhe tinkerbell 🥹

liked by nadiahamilton

user is this a inside joke???? a fun nickname??? we need to know!

sza do you think your man will have a problem if i take you away?

nadiahamilton when and where? 🤭

lewishamilton ???????

hater ad21 was deserved 🤣

nadiahamilton i know where you live 🫶🏽

hater as if

nadiahamilton Glendale right??

hater oh shit

user now how tf did she find that man’s address 😭

user don’t question her mastery 🗣️

lewishamilton my angel 🤍

nadiahamilton my superstar 💗

lewishamilton

liked by bellahadid, charles_leclerc and 3,383,929 others

lewishamilton miami, you’ve been good 🙏🏽

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nadiahamilton steal my captions why don’t you 🙄

lewishamilton it’s my job 😋

user blonde is so her colour

raye you both are so lovely 🤍

lewishamilton thank you Raye and btw, she’s crying because of this

nadiahamilton DON’T TELL HER OMG????

spinzbeatsinc king and queen of england

nadiahamilton do you want me to get deported??

user just accept your fate guys

user now i need to know if he speaks any south african languages

nadiahamilton he tries to but he says it in a british accent so i end up laughing at him

user mr, does this mean you’re the class dad?

lewishamilton i guess so?

herstudent YEAHHH OUR DAD’S SIR LEWIS HAMILTON!!!

user her face should be trademarked

user how many cars do you think they own together?

f1wags what a woman!

user petition for Nadia to be team principal!

mercedesamgf1 we back this 🫡

hater her tattoos were everywhere and stole the attention off Lewis! She’s so ugly

nadiahamilton never that 🙏🏽

user did you guys see that drake reposted her post?

user wasn’t he friends with lewis at some point???

zendaya see you guys soon 🫶🏽

racerbia mother and father

nadiahamilton my man is so fine y’all damn

user SHE’S SO REAL FOR THIS

nadiahamilton like he looks so delectable, my goat fr 🤭

lewishamilton nads 😧

f1 mother of the paddock ‼️

nadiahamilton pls not while Susie is right there ☹️

badgalriri i hope you do know there’s a group of us planning to take her

iamcardib heard she’s a stylist, need one rn

kehlani i second this !

latto777 if she ever needs flowers, i got her ‼️

nadiahamilton y’all 🥹

lewishamilton can you guys stop planning to take my wife away from me?

user idk, something’s fishy

user yeah bc where the fuck did she come from?

text messages !

♡‧₊ billionaire boys club

miles the fencer 🤺: no way they’re stealing your wife from you in broad daylight?

pookie buddy lewis: pls don’t chat, it’s hurting my spirit rn

princess natalia: let’s talk about nads meeting pharrell (also i’m a genius for naming this gc after his company)

daniel is spinning: her face was just like 😧

nadia: 🧍🏽‍♀️

personal pillow amara: but nads, genuinely, how do you feel after this weekend? it was a big one for you bae

nadia: i do feel like ripping the earth in half and falling in but it’s cool because lew gets me ice cream after 🤭

pookie buddy lewis: i always got your back, nads. you know that. we’ll get ice cream whenever you want

miles the fencer 🤺: GET A FUCKING ROOM OMG

princess natalia: EWWWWW

charlotte (not tilbury): don’t listen to them, this is the cutest shit ever 😭

andrew with the camera: but if i expose miles’ 0.5x photos, i’m wrong.

daniel is spinning: DRAG HIMMMM

personal pillow amara: i’ve taught you way too much danny

miles the fencer 🤺: man whatever 🙄

charlotte (not tilbury): nads, i HAVE to see you in malibu

nadia: ofc, i don’t know what to expect from that place

princess natalia: don’t worry bae, we got you!

ೃ° 

The Avengers (niko made this)

chunkz: nads, who’s this boy you’re chatting to? 🤨

filly felipe: “this boy” and it’s lewis hamilton 🤣

sharks: AND they’re married????

nadia: and i was going to invite you lot to my new place and show you my new car but ig you don’t want to

harry (pinero) potter: BOYS TAKE IT BACK

aj shabeeeeel: i personally never said anything 🙏🏽

niko: you know i’ve always loved f1, nads

nella loml: lying on a public platform, niko??

nadia: you lot are too funny i can’t 😭

nadia: but yeah, wanted to know when you guys are available so that you guys can meet him officially

fiily felipe: welcoming our brother in law aww 🥹

king kenny: how about we chat about the marriage??

nadia: how about no? 🫶🏽

chunkz: i’m just happy something so special is happening to you, nads. you deserve it

nella loml: it’s been a tough ride and already it’s looking so up for you bae

nadia: you guys wanna make me cry on a monday morning 🫵🏽

sharks: always the plan 🫡

niko: to make her cry????

sharks: 😐

king kenny: pls come back to London asap, Cench has been calling us up for a vid ever since the last two 😔

nadia: leave me out of that one, i have a husband 🖐🏽

chunkz: YOU TELL THEM NADS

filly felipe: nadia thandeka hamilton, it has SUCH a nice ring to it 😭

aj shabeeeel: and you guys look so leng together, already my brother in law 🫡

harry (pinero) potter: better get home quick for that debrief!

saint’s team radio (once again!): hope you guys enjoyed this one! it’s got a little touch of how nadia interacts with people she knows and people she doesn’t, our social butterfly ���

we finally have a ship name for our favs ‘Lewdia’ coined by @mauvecherie-writes!

i’ve got a few more smaus ready but yeah, love you guys loads! 💗

[kneelingshadowsalome]

🤠🫶:

I am CACKLING like a cartoon villain oh my GOD you are a genius!!! Of course the toxic king breaks his back of COURSE he does the fucking idiot (affectionate), so there's fuck-all he can do with reader's big announcement that this was all worth it and he can totally get some...yknow, in a couple months. AHHHHH. And she just wanted to give him something to look forward to, motivation for the physical therapy <33 (she boops his nose while he lays there wishing for death and cowering from her, of course she does, omg. i love them your honor!!)

and maybe she gets more confident now that he can't fucking move 💀💀 (lmao, oh god. König if you weren't such a menace this would have been easier for her a lot earlier and nobody would be in this situation) and maybe this leads to way more sensual  touching from her on her own initiative; she's curious, after all, and she does like him a lot and she's just trying to help him get better, you know? and König eats that shit up, starts telling her all about these itches and sore muscles he can't reach, could she be a dear (trying to act like he's not literally begging for her touch) and then he basically blacks out the first time her hands linger and drift, but probably better that than the things he was going to say to her. So König wants to die, this is too much, he's done, he's a goner each time she visits him. and damn her, she's a devoted little thing, never misses visiting hours. Always so sweet and caring towards him and it's the perfect image of a faithful, doting housewife without the wife or the house or the sex part of it lmao. And of course he can’t move when all this is happening!!! so basically just more torture and his mind just kind of breaks into little tiny pieces held together by demented lovesick lust-filled fantasies. he says some absolutely filthy things (makes the cunt licking look family friendly in comparison), he can't control it really anymore, and poor reader is shocked/horrified and blushing furiously, but thinks it's the medications and the pain and whatnot, tries to be understanding, only chides him once she gets her shock under control (and he's actually stone cold sober the entire fucking time lmao, but he ain't telling her that, she'd run if she knew). 

AND THEN MAYBE~~ (dun dun dun) one day reader is FINALLY reaching under the stupid hospital bed blanket - he can feel her soft little fingertips and carefully manicured nails travel down his abs, trace the V of his hips (my man is going to black out again, good lord) and she's looking at him with big round eyes and she's nervous she's going to do it wrong and he won't like it (as if), and it's taking FOREVER for her to get her hand between his legs bc sweet little thing just wants to do it right, and he's out of his mind, half-crying, whisper-begging at this point (it's probably not even English, not German either, just mindless pleas). Her hand FINALLY wraps around his length and he's lucky he doesn't cum right then and there; she's blushing so violently at taking a man in her hands for the first time and she's seeking HIS approval with those pretty doe eyes as she bites her lip. So of course that's when there's a knock at the door (the universe hates him, he's going to scream, whoever this is is lucky he can't move and they might die anyway from the blast radius of sheer rage) and a doctor comes in for daily rounds. Reader barely has time to yank her hand back before doc sticks his head through the privacy curtains and yep our man's heart might actually just stop, he is just going to keel over right then and there. 

so not even a handjob for our poor king <3 if he doesn’t die (lol) he transfers to in-home care IMMEDIATELY and finally gets reader to himself in a more private setting where he can lock the fucking door. this is the part where I look away lmao, I'd leave him blue-balled & suffering forever ...am i a mean person?? also RIP to that doctor. this verse is so hilarious & wonderful and i love it, feels like a tug of war between tropes and genres if that makes sense which results in your delightful genius works, thank you thank you <333

This is so beautiful. I am puddle & I can't thank you enough for collaborating & I LOVE YOU Howdy anon 💋 and um, I think I got a little too excited about their first time lol oops (I can't leave him blue-balled forever! Poor man would die of heart failure 🥺)

(Tamara and Demon (1864), Mihály von Zichy)

Word count: 3.7 k

CW: 18+ NSFW. Corruption kink goes brrrr. Masturbating, dirty talking, obsessive/yandere König. Awkward handjob. First time/virgin!reader. Kinda sweet and fluffy 🩷 Also coersion/mildly dubious consent, tread carefully!

A/N: You can find the story of König x virgin!reader and their relationship so far by following the tag (könig x virgin reader)

Oh she visits him alright!

She’s much braver now that König is bedridden and can’t move. They actually spend more time together after the weightlifting accident. The intense stares haven’t gone anywhere, he's actually gotten worse in that department, but otherwise, König is behaving quite nicely.

He seems to like it when she reads to him next to his bed, which is immensely cute in her opinion. Armed with a new book in the crook of her arm, she’s on her way to visit him again for another session.

She's already accustomed to simply floating in after giving his door a light rap. She's also gotten used to the sight of guns and knives and the smell of army storage, even the manly, pungent stench of sweat that lingers on top of it. 

But it’s not the potpourri of masculine military scents that stop her at the door and nearly make her drop her book.

The King himself is lying naked on the bed – well, naked except for the bag of a mask he seems to hold on to like it’s his soul. This time, she doesn’t even see it: her eyes fly straight to the towering erection he’s stroking, urgently with one hand while the other cups a pair of shaved, pale balls.

"König…?" 

The man who calls himself King curses – in German or in English, she can’t tell. The sight of him there, caught red-handed on touching himself, only makes her feel sorry for him. König has nowhere to run and hide, nothing to cover himself with, he's not supposed to even move yet. And he is not the one who should be embarrassed, after all, she's the one who barged in on his privacy. 

Although… König doesn't look embarrassed. 

He only looks drunk and sweaty and in need.

She thinks about turning back and leaving him with hurried excuses because what the hell is she supposed to do…? Read him a book? He is still gripping his cock like it’s a sword or something, breathing like he just ran a marathon. 

And speaking of swords, that weapon is far too big for her... Hell, she doesn’t know much about swords but she would deem that sword far too big for any woman.

If she were clever, she would run away from that stare and that huge, monstrous cock. But she’s not that clever, that much is clear because everyone she’s told she’s dating König have warned her about him. Every cell in her body is warning her of danger, but she keeps running back to him, over and over again…

Well, at least he can’t move, she thinks, takes a hesitant step, and places the book down on a table. Just when she’s about to whisper some calming, soothing words to this beast, the beast speaks.

"Take your clothes off," comes a husky command from the bed, and she freezes with her fingertips still on the cover of her cute little book about German fairytales (she knows König likes his fairytales bloody). 

Normally, she would make a scene out of such audacity. She might even storm out of the room and vow to never speak to him again for daring to talk to her like that.

But… 

He looks so desperate. König looks like a giant bound for torture on that bed. And he's not the only one who has been tormented these past few weeks… The incident at the hospital has plagued her dreams every night as she has tucked herself in with the memories of König's… sword.

Perhaps it would help with his pain if she offers him relief in his time of need. No harm can come from that, surely. She doesn't know how exactly taking her clothes off will help, but if that is his wish, then it’s the least she can do. 

To her and his surprise, her hands drift to the hem of the top she’s wearing. She’s feeling rather wild – something about seeing König completely naked yet unable to move is making her act like this. Like she's the brave one. Like she’s in control now.

Dedicated to her task, she pulls the shirt over her head.

Nothing moves on that bed for a good long while. As far as she can tell, König might've stopped breathing. But by the time she takes her bra off, there’s a swallow under that hood. Then the hand slowly starts to stroke again, the moist, slick sounds continue as her breasts fall free from their confinement. 

She’s breathing heavily too, and the man on the bed is stiff as a stone: every single muscle in his body is pulled taut as he stares at her breasts like they’re the Revelation of John. Then those blue eyes lift to her face just before another command is issued.

"Take off the rest."

"The–the rest…?"

"I just want to watch you." 

His voice is hoarse and croaky, and she feels even more sorry for him – König must be in so much pain and she just keeps on teasing him. She started this, so perhaps it’s better just to see it through. 

What’s crazy though is that he actually moans when she gets out of her pants, socks, and finally, her underwear. The slick sounds of fapping increase, and he’s moaning.

She hasn’t even touched him yet… She’s just standing there before him completely naked, heat pooling low in her belly as König continues to work himself with what looks like both pleasure and pain.

"Komm… Come here," he orders next, out of breath but surprisingly politely, and she has no other option than to approach his bed. She sits down as chastely as possible, then almost jumps back up when a steel-hard thigh brushes against hers.

"Touch it. Ja?" 

Her eyes grow as wide as they can go as she takes in the cock she has touched once before, briefly and under a hospital sheet. Now it’s right there, foreign and demanding. 

Better just to see it through, her mind tweets as her hand reaches out through what feels like water. Like before, there's a sharp intake of air under the hood as she takes him in her hand. It’s even hotter than she remembered, and gives a tight pull the instant her fingers wrap around it. 

"Like this…?" 

"Just like that…"

Her meek little mouse peeps and multiple bats of eyelashes are like drug to him, it seems. The man is as tight as a bowstring when she starts to move her hand up and down, mimicking the motions she just saw him do. They're not as fast as his, and her grip must be way gentler, but she seems to do surprisingly well for an inexperienced virgin. The poor man looks like he’s about to faint on that bed. 

What she doesn’t expect, however, is König to touch her.

A large, warm palm sweeps across her ribs and lands on her breast, softly, as if he's concerned that he might scare her off. She's the one who's stopped breathing now… And then he rubs her, squeezes her. Gently… Reverently.

"You're soft," comes a strained sigh from the bed as she tries to keep her own grip both tight and gentle. She’s starting to get so wet she fears she will stain his sheets. Bewildered, she tries to change her position, but the palm cupping her breast seems to have bound her to the bed too. Nothing moves, except her hand and his as they explore each other. A giant and an angel...

Something hot and wet meets her hand as she strokes him – is he cumming already…? But it can't be, she has heard there’s supposed to be quite a bit of it when a man cums, and there’s only a few ample drops of clear liquid oozing out of the slit on his tip.

"Can't wait for the day I get to make you scream," he rasps, and her heart is hammering in her chest as more cum-like liquid streams from the slit of his cock, adding to the lewd, moist sounds of the handjob she’s giving him.

König doesn’t know she has never even kissed a guy… 

"We'll… we'll get there," she tries to soothe him, thanking her lucky stars this man can't move.

"I want to fuck you," he continues, sounding more and more desperate. "Good and hard… until you cry under me. Want to see if you can take it all in."

"König…"

"It’s a long cock, ja? I can make you squirt."

"König, I'm still a virgin… You can't–"

"Nh–Sorry… sorry."

His head falls back on the pillow, his muscles relax just for the tiniest moment. But if she thought he would finally leave her to it, she was wrong. The hand of a giant killer drops between her legs next. 

She’s sitting on the bed like she would sit on a side saddle, with one leg slightly bent, giving the horniest man on earth good enough access to the heat between her legs. She doesn’t stop him – she doesn’t even want to – as broad fingertips meet her pubic hair and slip between her already slick folds. 

"...Was? Pretty angel is all wet," he comments on her state of mess. Approvingly: like all his fears have suddenly disappeared. 

She has to fight the urge to roll her head back and moan as those agile fingers start to give her full, generous strokes. She almost messes up her rhythm while stroking his cock, which seems to have gotten even harder.

His fingers delve into her with more courage, they tease her tight, tender nub with excited circles. She tries not to jolt and shiver as he makes her even more slick, tries to ignore how her nipples grow hard from that burning stare alone. 

"Such a pretty girl… and so wet. You sure you don't want it?"

She thinks about it – how it would feel if he somehow was able to take her on that bed. If he pushed that cock inside her and if it would hurt or make her moan even more. Even the thought of trying to fit that inside her makes her thighs feel like pudding.

"I don’t know… You're still recovering."

"Heh… That's not a problem. You can be on top. I'll help," he offers as if it’s a gentlemanly thing to do, to help her bounce on that huge cock. 

"I–I'd rather do it the classic way."

"I'll show you classic when I get better," he promises with unconcealed greed. "I'll show you all the other ways too. We’ll do it any way you like."

She tries hard not to whimper when hearing his promise. She tries her best to pleasure the biggest cock she’s ever seen. It’s ridiculous that it’s the only cock she’s ever seen... What sort of a cruel joke was it from the universe to choose this king-sized Austrian to be her first man? 

She wonders how König would react if she told him he’s too big for her.

Would he try to change her mind? Would he have a meltdown? 

Would he cry…? 

She doubts if this man ever cries. The last time a brutal soldier like him shed tears was probably when he was a kid. But he did look like he was about to cry that one time when she booped his nose... 

And despite being a cold-blooded soldier and somewhat awkward at times, König has always been so, so delicate with her. He's tender even now, touching her with the gentlest avarice there is. But that searing stare wants to possess her, devour her, and it makes her bite her lip nearly to the point of drawing blood.

"Sit on my face?" he offers next, this time sounding so desperate it's almost pathetic. 

Sit on his face… 

What would he even do? Lick her? Try to push his tongue inside her while finishing himself?

The thought alone makes her mess up her rhythm again and causes her pussy to pulse more wetness on his fingers. She secretly hopes he would slip at least one of those fingers inside.

"Let me see your cunt," he begs. God – this giant mercenary is begging to see her poor, aching pussy. "Just… let me at least taste you–"

She can’t even reply before the hand between her legs gives a sudden twitch and stops those delicious rubs. Actually, his whole body is going rigid. 

"König…? Am I hurting you?"

"I'm–gonna cum…" 

Oh god.

Oh god ohgod-

She's not sure what gives her more of a fright: the sound that leaves her soldier boyfriend as he cums, or the bright, hot flash of liquid that shoots from the cock in her hand.

He groans like it’s torture. Long and hard, so loud that she’s sure other people can hear it in the neighboring rooms, perhaps even further than that. There’s one, two, three spurts of thick, hot liquid, after that, she loses count because it spills to coat his stomach, it runs down her hand, and she’s pumping him in a frenzy while he just keeps on moaning.

"Slow, slow down–" he tries to groan in the middle of his climax and she obeys immediately, reveling in how his cock still throbs in her hand when she finally stops moving altogether. More cum gushes out with every strong pulse, even if the eruptions are less violent. Ropes of it already cover his abs, it coats her hand with thick film – it's far more than she would ever have expected, and a shiver goes through her as she imagines what it must feel like to take all of that semen inside her… 

"Ah… Das war wirklich…" König sighs dreamily while she must be looking like a startled deer.

Yes, that was really something… She doesn’t know what to do with his cock, or her hand, or the mess that coats half his body.

Luckily, he instructs her to take his old shirt from the floor and clean herself with it. She cleans him with it too, dabs the black t-shirt over his muscled stomach, even tries to swipe his crotch with it as gently as she can. 

König looks happier by the minute, looks at her like she’s an angel or something, and when she fully commits herself to getting him cleaned up, he gets another erection. She’s quite horrified – how is this even possible…? She thought men would need at least hours to get it back up again.

"Come on top," he offers, sounding all but seductive with that commanding tone. 

She swallows, thinking if König wants to be a "gentleman" and finish her too. With his tongue... or something else.

"Just for a hug? We don't have to put it in."

She seems to be under some spell tonight, because she simply drops the poor, cum-stained shirt back on the floor and crawls to the bed and on top of him.

König is hot and lean as she presses herself against him, her thighs now straddling the intimidating thing between his legs. Her head falls right beside his mask-covered face, and the smell of guns and fuel and sweat is prominent there, as is his natural odor, the woodland musk she has grown so fond of.

"There we go," his arms go around her waist, pressing her tighter against him. There’s no escape now, she thinks, but like always with König, she eventually softens and relaxes, molds against him… Accepts her fate.

"You did well, Meine Liebe," he even caresses her head as she slowly melts into his hold. "I’m sorry if I frightened you. Will you forgive me?"

"Um, of course."

"A gentleman should always apologize if he has upset his lady. Do you agree?"

"Uh… Yes."

"I promise to be a good man. The best man you could ever hope for."

She bites her lip as König continues to caress her. She’s far from upset, but she doesn’t want to tell him that and excite him too much. Otherwise he might end up hurting himself. He hugs her tight, and seems to have calmed down more than ever.

Is this what an orgasm does to a man...? The change is drastic, and her lover feels warm, and tender, and inviting. He even whispers more promises on her skin. They're nonsensical but gentle, König is probably trying to be romantic, but she can feel how his breaths grow heavier as time goes on. After all, they're both naked, pressed tightly together, closer than ever before, and he's having an erection again...

She tries not to shiver at the things he tells her. The husky promises of love and protection: "You are mine now, ja? Don’t be afraid. I would never hurt you. I will always keep you safe." And then, "You’re still wet, mein Mädchen… How about we practice just a little bit? We'll do it slow. Ja? I will make you moan…"

He coos those things in her ear while holding her in place for his cock. She starts to move on her own accord; it’s like her hips have their own will. Soon, her entrance meets the tip of him, still hot and bulged, and she starts to grind against it with barely restrained greed. She is wet – wetter than ever. 

König curses multiple times under his breath, and she feels so, so filthy for loving how unhinged he is, how unhinged she is – spread wide on top of him like that, trying to get off of the faintest touch of his cock. She’s so soaked that the hot tip of him glides across her folds with no effort at all. 

She feels like she’s doing something forbidden, taking her pleasure from him like that, but König doesn’t seem to know what the word filthy even means. He keeps praising her, guiding her, helping her, telling her how good she feels, that she’s doing so, so well.

Soon, he’s asking to put it in – just the tip. 

She tries her best not to sound too needy as she breathes a soft, mousy "Yes."

"How does that feel?"

He’s panting, few inches of thick cock inside her, and she thinks, did she just lose her virginity? Is this it? Why isn’t it hurting?

“You like that, hmm?”

He feels so, so good, pressing her against him, spreading her legs with his own, trying to feed more of that marvelous thickness inside. It doesn’t hurt, at least not yet. It makes her dizzy to even think what she must be looking like, with her legs spread and a huge cock partly inside her.

She should say something… What was it that he asked? Oh yes, if she likes it. She more than just likes it, and tries to push herself down to get more of him in. König reacts immediately with a ton of praise leveled at her in the softest possible way.

“That's it, that's it, pretty girl, take it in…”

Him cheering her on like that only makes her decide that it’s time to let go and let go for good. But she can’t get him in by herself, not while he’s holding her a prisoner like this.

"More… König, please," she hears herself whimper. 

God, is this all it took...? Him holding her close and letting her find the joys of sex herself? Apparently so, because he sounds goddamn smug when he turns his head to rasp more needy, throaty things in her ear.

"Ah… Knew you'd beg for it… "

His voice makes her inner walls clamp down on him, and that’s when it hurts, but only slightly. She wants him so much that it’s painful. And König… God, he keeps on showering her with praises and promises.

"I'll show you how good it can be… That's it, let me hear you. It's a good cock, ja? Good cock for a pretty girl…"

It’s not even fully in before he starts the thrusts. That’s when she knows she has lost her virginity. She’s being plunged. Not taken… Just… loved, thoroughly and deeply. 

When she moans, finally sounds as filthy as can be, he tells her how tight she is. How good she feels. He says he’s going to cum again soon. But not before her…

He doesn’t need to instruct her to rub her clit on his pelvis in rhythm with the thrusts. She is smart enough to do that by herself. And the thoughts of This is it, I’m not a virgin anymore have turned into Is it possible to cum on your first time…?

Everything’s perfect, all things considered. But there’s something missing.

"König," she swallows arduously. "I’ve never been kissed... Would you– Could you…?"

He stops moving, releases his hold a little. A strong heart is hammering inside his chest, she can feel it against her own fluttering heartbeat. 

Is it stupid of her to ask…? Will he only laugh at her for being so sentimental?

Apparently no, because it’s the warmest possible command that surrounds her this time.

"Lift the mask, angel."

By the time their lips meet, both hesitant and needy, he's fully inside her and holding her like a mountain. She feels like she's in a fairytale now: the only thing that moves is his mouth, and hers. Theirs is a slow, hungry rhythm. 

Her first kiss is not only awkwardly romantic and sweet, it’s sinfully good. 

The kiss also does things she did not expect. Her pussy goes tight around him, so tight that a whimper or two escape her nose, and König only purrs – she feels like the softest little creature in the embrace of a lean jaguar.

And she thinks… 

Why on earth didn't they do this months ago?

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

I put a spell on you

request: I’m here to feed your Xaden delusions, but lead singer/guitarist Xaden performing at some underground club, and they’re covering “You put a spell on me” (the Austin Giorgio version), and he locked eyes with you and is singing to you and only you during that moment

a/n: I honestly will be sending this person to jail time because this behavior is unacceptable. Enjoy... I guess...*shakes head*

warnings: want to take a lucky guess? Sexual themes. I don't write smut on demand but look what you did... Rap it before you tap it kids. Kind of modern day plot line.... eh...

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You were touching up your make-up in a tiny back room. Black silk dress on. High heels. Dark red lip. The hair all curly and loose. The rest of your band was an hour late, so you had to spend most of the night singing up on the stage to music playing from your phone. Were you pissed that this happened on a Friday, the day the pay was always the best? Yes. But you also did not control the weather, and a snowstorm is a snowstorm. "They want you back in five", a voice calls from behind your door. "Coming", you shouted back, double-checking your appearance and grabbing your water bottle.

You were in the middle of a third song when your eyes landed on a guy. And dear Lord, not just any guy. You had covered up the quiver in your voice, but your eyes stayed glued to him. The slightly unbuttoned shirt, the rolled-up sleeves, and the tattoos running all across his arms. If you weren't standing up, you would be clenching your thighs together right about now. You tried to pull your gaze off him, but no matter what, your eyes returned to him every time. His piercing gaze on you.

You were taking a tiny water break when you heard someone tapping the side of the stage you were standing on. Your head whipped to the side. A gasp escaped your lips. The same guy was standing there, a guitar in his hands. "Xaden", he called out, getting up on the stage. "Y/N", you frowned slightly. The drunken man had a big love for coming up on stage to bark into the microphone, hence why no one besides the bad was allowed up there. "I also play, just at a different bar. I play the guitar and sing," he was talking, but you just stood there dumb-struck. The guy... Xaden was also bloody tall, his muscly flame towering over you. "If you don't want...", he started. "No, I mean yes, I mean no", you muttered, making him chuckle slightly. "I need someone to play with; the phone shit is killing me tonight", you shook your head, trying to get your composure back.

"You did well, though. Your voice is very pretty", Xaden said casually as he plugged in his guitar. "Well, we'll see if you live up to the expectations", you muttered back. A smile painted Xaden's lips. He played a couple of chords, turning to you so you would be able to tell him if the tone was comfortable for your voice. You played with that for a couple of minutes before you gave him a thumbs-up. But when you turned back towards the crowd, a realization hit you: you didn't ask Xaden what exactly you were going to sing. You turned your back to him right as the first notes of the song echoed. This motherfucker...

"You put a spell on me", his velvety voice fills your ears, "I'm losing my mind". His eyes were all over you as he sang. Your grip on the microphone tightened as you watched him. "You better stop these things; it's a matter of time". But two can play this game. You threw your head back, letting your hair fall back from your shoulders, exposing the glistening skin of your bare skin, as you let your body sway with the sound of Xaden's guitar. "Before I hunt you down", he continues, "Grab your chin and kiss your lips", his tone seems huskier, and as you pull your gaze back to him, you find his stare still glued to you. Pupils big. "You bring me back; I lay you down and grab your hips". A smirk plays on your lips as you join him on the next line, "And we lose all control", you've never thought your voice would mix with a stranger so well. It's almost hypnotic. So fucking sultry. Xaden's voice hitches slightly, and you yank the control away from him. "And before you know", you point your finger straight at him as you continue, "I've put a spell on you", your hips dip slightly as you let your body get swallowed by the music, "Now you are mine". You've never been more thankful for the bright light that shined right at you as you let your silky voice take over the room. "I've got a hold on you, at least for the night". Your hands move up and down the microphone stand, and you can swear Xaden lets out a light growl. "You know I can't help myself when you ask tenderly". You turn your attention back to him. The grip the guy has on his guitar is close to a breaking point. You can't help wondering if you were to pick up the guitar would yoy find him... but you don't let the thought linger, allowing yourself a moment to bite your lips before you sing the next cues directly, looking at the guy set not more than a meter away from you. "If I'd dimmed the light as your hand brushes me and the floor swallowed my clothes", you said, brushing your hand over the silk fabric, lifting it just a bit to reveal more of your thigh, "And my silhouette puts on a show because I put a spell on you", you muse. Xaden beats you to the next line, "I'm losing my mind; you better stop these games; it's a matter of time". And in the way he sings these lines, you start to feel as if they are more of a promise after all.

It almost feels like a fever dream for the rest of the song. You let the music fully take over as you two shared the stage. The moment the last chords ring, you can't help but let out a shaky breath. The crowd erupts in cheers, and you smile back, bowing slightly. From the corner of your eye, you see Xaden doing the same. You don't turn to him as you move to get off the stage. Your heels click against the floor as you briskly walk toward the back of the bar. And you know. Call it an instinct. He's following you.

You barely make it down the corner when you find two hands on opposite sides of you, caging your body, your face against the wall. But you can't help the giggle that escapes you as you feel him pressing against you, the suspicion you had mid-performance very obviously pressing right against you. "Desperate much?", you purr, turning your head back towards him, your shoulder blades flexing, making the man behind you growl, "You and the little show you put on". You manage to turn around to face him. You two are inches away from each other. "You picked the song, sweetheart", your fingers move to play with the button of his shirt, brushing against his chest.

"I don't lose control", Xaden growls, making you giggle slightly, "I think you're about to". His palm quickly reaches to hold onto your face as he tilts your head up so your eyes are back on him, "These red fucking lips and the words that are leaving them." You bit the corner of your lip, letting your fingers brush down his chest until you're met with his belt, and you do one thing any respectable girl would do: you pull him closer.

You've never been one for careless hookups. You left that to your band. You were a hopeless romantic at heart all along, but this man, with his dark eyes, looked down at you. He's making you question things about yourself. And question them hard. "You're playing a game, sweetheart", Xaden leaned closer, and the warmth of his breath tickled your cheek. "Am I? I didn't notice", you said, holding onto this rush of confidence.

Xaden lets out a breathy chuckle as his hands fall to grab onto your hips before you feel him slowly bunching up the fabric of your dress upwards. Some sense of rationality comes flooding into your brain. What if someone walked by? But Xaden quickly wraps his hand around your throat once again, yanking your attention back to him. "If I touched you now, would you be wet?", a gasp escapes your lips at the bluntness of his words. Yet you are painfully aware of the answer.

"Look yourself", your voice is barely a whisper. Xaden's lips curve upward. "You're giving me your consent to touch you, baby?", he leans in once again. You tilt your head up in hopes of finally meeting his lips, but the grip he has on you stops you. "I asked you a question", he growls. You nod your head eagerly, but Xaden shakes his head, "Words. I need words". Fuck, this guy is trying to be a gentleman in a moment like this where he more than has you under his control.

"Yes, please", you whimper at the feeling of Xaden's fingers brushing against your inner thigh. "Please, what?", he hums, his lips finally brushing against your shoulder. "Please, touch me", a shiver runs down your body as Xaden bites the strap of your dress, dragging it off your shoulder. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't have to. His fingers brush over your belly tenderly, his hand fully beneath your dress now. They dip to your hip; he's no doubt searching for the fabric of your underwear, but you know all he would be met with is bare skin.

As if reading your mind, Xaden lets out yet another growl, "Don't tell me that you have no underwear on". His head falls on your shoulders as if he's taking a moment to compose himself, but two can play this game. You reach for the hand that is resting on your bare skin before guiding it between your thighs, muttering a quick "Upsie." And that is the final undoing that man in front of you needed.

Xaden's lips finally crash into yours. Hungry and desperate. You try to meet him halfway, but the dominance is all his as he explores your mouth. You can't help but let out a moan as his fingers started to lazily rub circles over your clit. "You've been dripping all night long like this?", he rasped out, pulling away ever so slightly. "Only when you came to join me", you gasped, feeling one of his fingers slip within your heat like it was nothing. Your back arches against the wall, your hips grinding to meet his touch. "You fucking, minx", Xaden says, losing another shaky breath, "Where's your room?". Your brain is hazy from him, but you manage to point your finger to the door at the very end of the hallway. Xaden wastes no time as he picks you up. You whimper at the loss of his touch but don't protest much, knowing that you wouldn't be able to explore each other in the middle of a hallway anyway.

Xaden kicks the door shut behind him as he enters the small room. The table meets his frustration first as his hand cleans the vanity off, sending bottles and brushes tumbling down. "Hey", you yelp, looking down at the mess, but all that fades away the moment Xaden's lips are on your chest. Nipping at your skin, no doubt leaving bruises for you to look at tomorrow. Your hands reach for his messy, dark curls as you tug gently, pressing his face further into your skin. He doesn't ask for permission the second time around. He just yanks at the delicate straps, making the fabric slide off your chest.

"No fucking bra too", he hisses, his fingers reaching to twirl your hard nipples between his fingers, sending heat pooling into your core, "You're the devil itself". The noise that escapes your lips as he wraps his mouth over your breast, squeezing the flesh, is far from holy. "Fuck, Xaden", you breathe, arching even more into his chest. "So responsive, I like it", he chuckles against your skin, making you huff, "Fuck you, asshole". He lets himself fully laugh this time as he wraps his hand over your neck once more, "You will, sweetheart; you sure as hell will".

And there's something so primal in his voice. Heat rushes all over your body. You spread your legs even more for him without him having to ask; your body is shamefully desperate. Xaden lets his hands move all over your body. Exploring every curve. Every dip. Sending shivers down your spine. Your lips are back on his, and god, you could spend a lifetime kissing this man. You pull at this shirt, breaking a couple of buttons in the process. That's enough for him to get the message, and his shirt is soon thrown somewhere on the floor.

"Condom?", Xaden asks, fumbling with his belt. You shake your head. "Birth control", you muse. "I'm clean", you add quickly. Xaden growls once more. "How do you expect me not to bust?", he asks, eyes locked on you as he strokes himself through his boxers a couple of times. "It seems like your problem", you breathe, quickly licking your lips as he steps back closer to you.

You let your hand brush over his toned muscles this time; you brush his hands away from his body, and they find shelter on your thighs almost immediately. You reach for the waistband of his underwear but stop yourself. Suddenly wanting to have his permission. Your eyes dart up, only to be met with a nod. That's all it takes for you to yank the material off, and all the holy hell, you could tell that he was above average from the boner that's been rubbing against you all this time, but this long and hard length with pre-cum glistening at the very tip.

"You have something to say?", Xaden teases, biting at your shoulder once more. While you gape at him like a fish out of the water. "I... that... ah...", your muttering is cut off by Xaden, who brushes his fingers over your clit, circling it a couple of times before he dips a finger inside you, moving it at a painfully slow speed. "I heard that before", he mumbles against your lips, "It will fit too, don't you worry", he dips yet another finger into your vagina, and you can feel your arousal dripping onto the table beneath you as that same funny feeling curls up at the pit of your stomach.

You reach for his length, stroking it a couple of times. Xaden pulls his fingers out of yours, moving that hand to join yours. Your juices are now coating his dick, and you can't help but whimper at the sight of it. Xaden rubs his tip at your entrance a couple of times. Both of your eyes are now locked on the way both of your bodies are desperate for a release. "Go gently with me; you're bigger than I've ever had", you can't help but let the sudden wave of worry wash over you. Xaden's eyes dart up to yours, his hand moving to rub your thigh. "I'll look after you", he mutters as he slowly slides between your walls. You both share a breathless cry. Curses fill the space. You know that he's not in all the way, and the burn is like nothing you've felt before, but so is the pleasure that makes your toes curl.

Xaden withdraws almost all the way before moving back into your slick pussy, this time way deeper and way quicker. You let out a cry, your hands darting to grab onto his forearms. "Too much", you whimpered, "It's too much", but Xaden only bucks his hips forward, fingers reaching between the two of you so he could rub your clit in lazy circles. "You will take it", he says. Your eyes fall to the back of your head as he bottoms out with another thrust, growling into your ear. You shakily wrap your legs around his torso, bringing him even closer to you.

Your eyes mist for a second, and you feel Xaden leaving kisses all over your face before his head dips, and his mouth is once again wrapped around your nipple as he twirls it between his lips. "Fuck, please", you cry out right as Xaden picks up his speed, his hips moving in a harsh rhythm over and over. Hitting parts of your body that have never been touched before. Another cry slips past your lips, and your nails dig into his back. "You're so fucking pretty", Xaden murmurs, "So fucking tight".

Another moan escapes you, but this time Xaden is right there to swallow your cries with a kiss. A desperate. Messy one. The room is filled with your wetness. Whimper's bounced off the walls; never had you before been so thankful for the loud music coming from the bar. Drowning out your shared groans. Your tits are bouncing from the fair share of speed Xaden is thrusting into you. You feel on fire. All you can think of is him. "Come on, cry out my name for me, baby", he says, his hands moving to hold onto your hips so he could angle his movements even more. "Xaden", you muse, feeling the tingling sensation rippling through you. "Louder", he growls, his hand coming to choke you once more. You fluster your eyes, meeting his gaze. "Harder, Xaden,", you moan at the top of your lungs. Xaden's nostrils flare, and his hand slides to rub your clit once more, way harder now, as his movement picks up. His eyes grow dark as he growls. You hold onto him as your body nearly slides off the rocking table. "I'm going", you cry out, your head falling back. "Come, baby, take what's yours", he grunts, hitting the golden spot deep within you. Sending you into pleasure like no other, as you both fall over the edge at the same time. You feel him jerking a couple of times, and his cum spurting deep within you. Coating your walls. Sending you into yet another blissful blindness as you clench around him. Xaden's breathing is labored as he once again rests against your shoulder. Your hands lazily move up and down his back, drawing circles as you too try to make your heartbeat less frantic.

"That was...", he mutters, pulling up. You chuckle slightly, "Out of this world", you finish his sentence right before his lips are back on yours. It's a lot slower. Less needy. More sensual. You whimper slightly as you feel Xaden's length twitch one more time, still deep inside you. "Is it bad that I don't want to pull out?", Xaden asks, pushing a strand of your hair away from your face. But he does. Slowly. So slowly that you can't help but cry at the sensation. The loss of him is way too evident. Making you feel so empty. He curses at the sight of his cum slowly dripping out of you, coating your tights and the table. He reached for his shirt, crumpled on the floor before he carefully wiped away the mess you two made. You bite your lip as you watch him. So careful. So gentle.

"Your lipstick is smudged", he states, pulling his underwear back on while you're still there, all sprawled out for him. High on whatever the fuck had just happened. "I wonder why", you mutter, trying to pull yourself off the table only to be met with wobbly legs that betray you the moment your heels hit the floor. But Xaden is there in a heartbeat. His arm wrapped around your waist as he steadies you. The asshole has the nerve to laugh at your disheveled state, and you hit his chest.

"You're okay?", he asks regardless. "Soar, and my brain lost concentration with the internet, I think", you muttered, making the male chuckle once more. He carefully pulled the straps of your dress back over your shoulders, hiding some of the red skin on your chest that was already bruising. "Good thing that I'm driving you back home then", he mutters, kissing the side of your head softly before pushing a finger under your chin and bringing your face up so he could kiss your lips a couple of times. You let out a surprised yelp as Xaden dips, lifting you off the floor and into his arms. Hands resting on your bum as you wrap your arms and legs around him, "Come on, baby, the night is still young".

[anxi-aashi]

ok i dont have the energy to put this into a fic rn but i CANT stop thinking about college au! childe almost walking in on you while you're getting yourself off.

like he'd still knock of course, but it would scare the absolute shit out of you. instead of hanging out with your roommates that he's friends with (who are most certainly NOT gathered in your room) he'd be all "hey pookie can i come bother you I'm bored," while you're fully sat on a dildo.

and bc you wouldnt want to seem suspicious, you'd say sure, just a sec! and immediately run to throw the sopping wet toy into your bathroom sink before letting him in.

and he's just too observant for his own good. "hey you ok? you seem out of breath" yeah because you were.... working out! "really? you're not sweating though?" CHILDE DROP IT OMFG but he wouldn't. he just asks so many goddamn questions and you honestly can't tell if he's just fuckign with you or if he's just genuinely concerned for you. what were you doing? pilates? so thats why you're walking a bit weird? how tf were you not sweating after pilates? oh you just started? well sorry to interrupt!

yeah.... you're sorry too -_-

but hes here now so you offer to watch a movie and hang out, nevermind the cum threatening to run down your leg. "sure! you pick smth out and ill go to the bathroom real quick!" he says and curse your post-orgasm clouded mind for not being quick enough to warn him bc now he's standing in front of you, dildo in his hand, looking at you knowingly.

youre mortified obviously. the two of you are cordial but not THAT close and god you can almost picture the slick and cum that's smearing all over his hand now. why is he holding it for fucks sake???

childe wouldnt be merciful either -- this is a fucking gold mine for him. "well, i guess this is a workout" and you would like the earth to swallow you up so that you don't have to look at him with that shit-eating grin that's creeping up his face.

hed switch the dildo to his other hand and start opening and closing his fingers together, making webs of cum string in between. "you said you just started?" no, you'd have to refute, that part was a lie.

"and you were getting off with this?" and now WHAT was that supposed to mean bc there was truly nothing wrong with the dildo size!!! it was perfectly fine, it did its job. sure it could be a tad bit longer, but you had bills to pay. he lets it go (with a judgemental eyebrow raise), but when he opens his mouth again to ask "what were you doing?" you almost wish he had kept making fun of your tiny ass toy. "were you using your hands or the suction cup?"

god he'd have a dangerous look on his face by now, lidded eyes looking at you like you were gonna be his next meal; pitching his voice just a tad bit lower just to see you squirm.

"you don't have to answer, but i would really, really like to know." aaaaaand there it goes. there's goes the last bit of your sanity bc huhh?? huuuuhh??? dear lord i would fully melt into a puddle we love a man that can make consent sexy.

fuck it, right? yeah, you were using the suction cup. "yeah? you like riding dick?" SHFBAN;DNSJF;F GODDDD

"you got any other toys?" yes sirrr yes I do, got a vibrator right over there in the nightstand. and duh now he's gotta follow up with "ever use both?"

which you have. who hasn't? but you usually only use it for quickies, you say. don't want it to be over too fast, ya know?

but then. thennnnnn he'd hit you with this: "you still horny?"

lorddddd you have NO idea, but you don't say that lest it get to his head (but lets be honest, he knows what he's doing; he knows how desperate he's making you). so he walks up to you, finally, and hands you your dildo, all sticky and starting to dry by now.

"well don't stop on my account."

and he plops down on your bed, manspreading just the tiiiiiniest bit to where you can see the tent in his pants.

which is how you find yourself back in your desk chair, thighs burning from fucking yourself on a dildo you now know is much smaller than whatever childe is packing while he just watches, palming his cock over his pants.

anyways gonna go work on my wips now lolololololololoolo

[naruto-imagines-and-headcanons]

Naruto Love Languages (Konoha 12 + Sand Siblings)

Naruto Uzumaki - Words of Affirmation

This man is your #1 fan. Everything you do he is behind you cheering and hollering the whole way. It doesn't matter if it's something stupid like trying to do a bottle flip, Naruto is gonna hype you up. He just adores you so much and wants you to know that! He wants you to know that he believes in you fully. When he isn't being a hype man, Naruto is just genuinely complimenting you and showing his appreciation for all you do. Nothing you do will go unnoticed, you WILL feel this man's love

Sasuke Uchiha - Gift Giving

Sasuke is, uh... kinda rough when it comes to romance. He's gone through some shit and even after all these years doesn't quite know how to deal with it. He isn't good at words, is wary on physical contact, and isn't around often. But the one thing he succeeds in is giving you gifts. Everytime he leaves to go who knows where, he will always return with an incredibly thoughtful gift. Sasuke doesn't just grab whatever he see, he knows what you like and what you appreciate. Every gift he gives you has meaning and fits you perfectly

Sakura Haruno - Acts of Service

Sakura is a girl who heavily desires to be loved. Ever since she was a child she was a hopeless romantic, so when she finally got together with you she fell head over heels. She's quite open with her feelings for you both physically and vocally, but her favorite way to show she cares is by helping you around the house. She'll cook for you, help clean up, give you massages, and of course heal your wounds. As long as you are dating her you will never see another Medical-nin. Every injury you get will be treated by her with full seriousness (even if it's just a paper cut)

Sai - Gift Giving

You though SASUKE was bad with feelings? Dear lord you gotta have a lot of patience with Sai. Unlike Sasuke though, Sai tries his hardest, even if it's a bit rough. He tries to say nice things and touch you, but it's still incredibly foreign to him (not to mention he can get a bit brutally honest about some things). The only thing Sai is confident in is his gift giving skills. He loves to draw art for you, pretty much everything he sees inspires more art to give you. It's gotten to the point that you have a whole room filled with them (Sai keeps telling you it's okay to get rid of some, but you refuse! They are so pretty!). On special occassions, Sai loves to bring his drawings for you to life, enjoying the look of amazement on your face

Ino Yamanaka - Gift Giving

This girl is gonna treat you RIGHT, believe that! She's is incredibly open with her feelings, especially when it comes to flowers. You will be getting flowers for every occassion, sometimes just randomly. She'll buy you other gifts like jewelry and clothes and books, but her real love language is flowers. Her bouquets aren't just randomly put together either, Ino carefully hand picks each one and take in mind the meaning of each one. The longer you date you will soon learn the different meanings, which makes her so proud. Although she doesn't really expect anything back every time, make sure to get her a lil something for special occassions, she'll appreciate it~

Shikamaru Nara - Quality Time

We know Shikamaru is a lazy bitch, but that's what we love about him! He may seem distant and seemingly uncaring, but if you look closely you can clearly see how he shows affection. Sure he may not wash you with praises or get you expensive things, but he stays by your side. Always. Somehow he always is in the same room as you, even if you are doing two different things. You're always together in some sort. He'll definitely deny it, but you notice he doesn't leave still. It's kind of like a cat, ya know? Shikamaru gets especially clingy when you're in bed together. This man doesn't get up for hours, and you aren't getting up either. You will lay and sleep with him for 3 more hours, no discussion

Choji Akimichi - Acts of Service

Just... just so sweet. My boy is such a sweetie oh my god. Choji is quite nervous in your relationship, both due to low self-esteem and just anxiety in general. Just you surprising him with a hug is enough to fluster him for a solid minute. Since more direct ways get him anxious, Choji prefers to do things for you, and his favorite thing is to cook for you. This man can COOK like no one's business! You guys will go out to eat on the weekends (there is nothing like fresh barbecue), but through the week he is in the kitchen cooking your favorite meals full of love. Seeing your giant smile and hearing your satisifed eating makes his heart soar. Also, you are one of the only people who he'll always share his snacks with, no hesitation (the other is Shikamaru, obviously)

Kiba Inuzuka - Physical Touch

Kiba is a toucher, hands down. He LOVES to just touch you all over. He is always in contact with you no matter what, appropriate or otherwise. Hands on your waist, head on your shoulder, fingers in your hair, sometimes he will just randomly pick you up to get a reaction out of you. Let's be real, Kiba's a dog through and through, and dogs adore attention. Whenever he wants your attention or love, Kiba will poke you and bug you until you give in and cuddle with him. Spooning is his absolute favorite position. Give this man his head pats and belly rubs god dammit, and don't forget Akamaru!. Oh and uh, warning, this man is also perverted. Quite perverted. Your cuddle sessions will devolve into him dry humping you 50% of the time. You gonna get manhandled and groped quite a bit (every touch full of love <3)

Hinata Hyuga - Words of Affirmation

You thought Choji was shy? You haven't seen nothing yet. Hinata was already a sweating mess when you were just friends, the moment you asked her out she literally fainted and collapsed on the floor. Thankfully she is better now (and didn't get brain damage), but it's still nerve-wracking to be in a relationship with you. You're just so... perfect. And Hinata wants you to know that. Throughout the day she is normally very sweet and appreciative, but whenever you are on dates or cuddling in private, she lets all her feelings out. She shares her admiration for you, her appreciation for you, and just how happy she is to have you in her life. It always makes you cry, which makes Hinata feel bad, but you always assure her they are happy tears

Shino Aburame - Acts of Service

Shino is a man of little words, and you knew that going into a relationship, so you have no issues with that! It makes the times he does speak up mean even more. Since he's inexperienced with relationships and romantic gestures, Shino's main way to show he cares is by protecting you and keeping you safe. He always is ready to defend you in public, and whenever you go somewhere alone he gives you one of his bugs so he can know you're safe. Anyone who even tries to harass or injure you is getting shot down immedietely. Losing you or you getting hurt is one of his biggest fears, and he'll never let that happen. You'll never feel unsafe when Shino is around

Rock Lee - All of Them

You can call this a cop out, but let's be real, Lee is the embodiment of EVERY love language. He never stops gushing to you about your beauty and skills, and screams how much he loves you from the rooftops. Anything you ask him to do will be done in record time perfectly. He loves to give you extravagent gifts for your anniversaries and random occasions. Spending time with you is his favorite thing in the world, especially when you train together. And physical touch? He is always happy to hug and kiss you all over. Lee is just full of love for you!! He knows he can be a bit overwhelming at times and will calm down if you tell him. He just is so grateful to have you in his life, and wants you to know that every day for the rest of your life

Neji Hyuga - Words of Affirmation

It may come as a shock to most due to his sharp tongue, but the way Neji shows his love is by words. To most he is aggressive and stand-offish, and ocassionally is to you too. It's just how he is unfortunately. But unlike with others, he is noticabely incredibly soft with you and is much more open. Neji isn't afraid to compliment how you look or give praise when you succeed at something. Even when he gets annoyed he doesn't raise his voice or throw insults at you, he stays respectful. The fact that he calls everyone an idiot except you says a whoooole lot about how he feels about you. Wear that honor with pride

Tenten - Quality Time

Tenten is pretty easy going and prefers a partner who is the same. Of course some spice and excitement is greatly welcomed, but at the end of the day she just wants to sit back and relax with her partner. So spending time together means a lot to her. She loves going on dates where you guys try something new (just no long hikes, please) but if needed will default to the local weapon museum. By the way, everytime one of you has to go on a mission, Tenten will act cool but will secretly pout the whole time until you meet up again

Gaara - Physical Touch

As he's grown, Gaara has turned into a real sweetheart. With you he is incredibly gentle and cares for you deeply. You are his treasure, you deserve the world. He still is dealing with social anxiety, and can be a bit awkward sometimes. But Gaara is always comfortable touching and holding you. His touches are gentle and kind, and sensual when he wants. He likes to give gentle kisses all over you throughout the day, and whenever he leaves for work he gives you a loving kiss before he leaves. Gaara also really values cuddling together. This man is touch starved like no one else, everytime you hold eachother he feels like a part of him is healing. Please reciprocate, he deserves it

Temari - Words of Affirmation

Temari is fiery as hell, and you knew that the moment you met. And her words are just as sharp! She isn't afraid to tell off people who annoy you guys (especially when you are on dates, they are DEAD). With you she is still mildly aggressive and intense, but in a more lighthearted way. She just gets so worried about you, she can't help herself from scolding you for being an idiot. Every word she says (positive or negative) comes from the heart. When you manage to not be a fool Temari is vocalising her approval and pride. Oh, and she has a habit of openly bragging about how amazing you are to your peers (much to your embarrassment)

Kankuro - Quality Time

This man is a teeeeeease (in a good way or bad way, your decision). He is constantly joking and making fun of you, reveling in your cute annoyance. He even likes to annoy you physically like blowing on your neck or pinching your butt. Kankuro is quite playful pretty much 95% of the time, but the other 5% he's actually quite sweet. Spending time with you is his favorite thing in the world! Yeah it's fun messing with you, but he likes to just have genuine connections and going on more mature dates. His favorite thing is dancing surprisingly, and he honestly is quite good. Holding you close and swaying makes him content ... Until he sneaks in one of his puppets halfway through, scaring the shit out of you in the process (he slept on the couch but it was worth it)

----------

Konoha 12 + Sand Siblings | Shinobi & Founders | Akatsuki

[akystaracer22]

Here in the Garden, Let’s Play a Game

Synopsis: A nightmare about paradise, and an attempt to create something new, even the coldest hearts can warm with a careful touch.

Notes

:)

Can you tell I like Adam’s character?

TW: Mild Mind Control, Thought Suppression, and Altered Thoughts in the flashback scene, descriptions of panic attacks, vomit, mild descriptions of gore, unreliable narrator.

As for the latter half: This is what Lucifer meant in Distrust Fall when he said he thought he knew where to start.

Hurt/Comfort

Word count: 3304

Fic under cut!

Adam blinked and pulled his hand away from where it rested against the hide of a boar, where the fuck was he?

Last thing he remembered he was exhausted after another shitty fucking day in hell and went back to his room to sleep, and suddenly he’s in some sort of glade.

Huffing, he gently patted the boar’s side and nudged it up, “C’mon, up you get, I gotta figure this shit out.”

The boar acquiesced easily, trotting away into the foliage as Adam took a look around the scenery to try and figure out where he was.

Long lush green grass that flowed in the breeze in such a way it looked pristine, long natural flower beds carving up the glade in perfect patterns. The trees were a mix of evergreens and impossibilities. Trees he’d never seen together before all coexisting in magnificent harmony.

If he didn’t know any better, he’d think he was…

Adam face blanched at the sudden wind that hit his body, his bare body.

Where were his clothes?

“No no no nononono!” Adam gasped and glanced around in a panic; he wasn’t wearing anything. That wasn’t good- shit he needed his clothes!

He flared his wings out to try and use them to give himself some coverage only to be painfully aware of another fact when nothing happened.

He couldn’t feel them.

He couldn’t feel his wings.

Adam twisted around and stared at his bare back in terror, he was missing his wings, wings he’d had for millennia at that point, wings he’d kept even as he plummeted to hell, ruined as they were they were still his they couldn’t just be gone-!

A loud whimper slipped off his tongue before he could bite it back. He cursed, hating the show of weakness only marginally less than he hated being so exposed.

Adam moved forward on unsteady legs, nearly tripping from the sudden lack of weight on his back from his wings. Already he hated the place, it’s perfection reminded him too closely to the garden, just as much as his exposure and lack of wing’s and-

Chink

Adam’s blood turned to ice in his veins at the sound. Glancing down at his right wrist, he found the source.

A small, innocuous golden cuff attached to a similarly gold chain, glowing softly from where it laid against his skin. The chain lead upwards, disappearing into nothingness.

The first man’s breathing quickened as he stumbled forward, instinctively trying to run in the opposite direction of the chain. Shit he was right why the fuck did he have to be right?!

He was in Eden; he was in fucking Eden.

“Adam!”

The first man turned around swiftly at the sound of his wife’s voice, smiling brightly as the angel he was reporting to took their leave, “Eve! My dear you look beautiful as always.”

His wife stopped in front of him, and Adam’s brow twitched, she looked…

Free.

Troubled. Her eyebrows were pressed together, and her shoulders were tense. Her hair looked unusually messy, and her eyes kept darting around as if looking for something.

She doesn’t want Them to see this.

“My dearest, what troubles you?” Adam reached out a hand to her before pulling back abruptly as he noticed something else, Her eyes had darkened to a deep, almost black red. Her chain connecting her to the Lord was absent, “Beloved, where is your shackle?”

“Adam we need to talk,” Is all Eve said instead, moving forward to grab him by the arm and drag him into the foliage surrounding the clearing.

“My dear we must inform our Creator immediately,” Gods first human exclaimed, his chest growing tight the longer he was aware of his partner’s bare wrist, “We are never to be without the shackles that keep us safe this is-”

“Just! Listen to me first,” Eve’s tone shifted abruptly silencing Adam, “I- I know how this looks but I need you to trust me for a second, please.”

“Of course, I trust you dear, but-”

Adam didn’t get to finish as Eve caught his mouth with her own. Kissing him deeply much to the man’s surprise. He didn’t have time to react when something passed between Eve’s mouth and his own and he instinctively swallowed whatever it was.

He heard the shackle shatter a second before his mind caught up to it, sending him reeling at the slew of information that struck him all at once.

Memories that he was forced to forget surged into his awareness-

- A passionate kiss with Lilith under the sun-

- A shared meal with an angel- with Lucifer-

- Him, screaming in agony as God cleaved open his chest and reached inside of him-

-A failed attempt to flee while he was still recovering, still reeling from the betrayal and terror as burning bright magic lashed out and dragged him back-

Adam stumbled back away from his second wife – his second wife how in Eden did he ever forget about Lilith – as the reality of the situation finally caught up to him.

They needed to hide. Now.

“Shit I need to get the fucking apple!” Adam yelled, breaking into a sprint even as he stumbled and had to catch himself on the trees as he ran. Animals didn’t even startle as he ran past because fear was an emotion you weren’t supposed to feel, not in Eden.

How the ever-loving fuck Adam was even able to process this was beyond him, but he wasn’t about to try his luck. All it would take is one moment of Gods attention and he’d be unmade and-

Adam bit the inside of his cheek to nip that train of thought in the bud. He wasn’t going to unpack that right now.

He needed to get to the damn tree.

The first man stumbled into a large clearing, immediately hating the exposure before catching golden leaves in the near distance, turning his head he was greeted with his salvation.

A tree with apples pure and divine. It’s trunk a darker colour than normal and it’s leaves a mix of brilliant gold and blinding white.

Adam raced across the clearing; all sense of caution thrown to the wind because he needed to get to those apples-!

A heavy weight slammed into him, knocking him to the ground before something pierced his leg.

Adam cried out in pain before he could stop himself, craning his neck to try and get a look at his assailant only to go wide eyed at the angel pinning him down.

Or, more precisely, the exorcist. Lute.

She was giving him the same hard glare she only really used for sinners or for Vaggie, the one that screamed hatred with every fibre of her being. The thing in his leg was her spear.

“I don’t know how you scum managed to sneak into the garden,” She snapped at him, vitriol poisoning her tongue, “But you’re not getting to that tree.”

“Shit- Lute it’s me!” Adam yelled, trying not to move his injured leg around the spear even as crimson blood – why the fuck was it crimson?! – soaked the ground, “It’s me Adam!”

Lute studied him and for a moment seemed to hesitate, sparking a glimmer of hope in Adam before it was snuffed out with her scowl returning, “No. You’re not. But you need to be fixed.”

Her halo glowed for a gut-wrenching second, before light seemed to travel down the divine chain towards the shackle.

“No nonono shit stop fuck!” Adam shrieked, abandoning sense and uncaring at how his flesh and muscle tore as he tried to shove Lute off, her spear mutilating his leg further, “Lute don’t let Him fucking do this please!”

The light got closer and still Lute did nothing, Adam could only watch the light seep into the cuff and see it glow lightly before-

Adam screamed as he jerked awake, immediately feeling something in his stomach shift and bile surge up his throat.

He stumbled until he hit a door and threw it open, whatever was in his stomach coming back up as he vomited over the railing of his balcony.

He could feel a weight on his back, and he almost cried as he realised it was his wings, instinctively curling them around himself as he sat there against the rails. He shuddered for a moment, shivering despite the heat.

His leg ached despite the fact that it was a nightmare.

It was a nightmare.

Fuck he thought he was about to-

A hiccupping sob slipped out of him, followed by another as he fell apart.

He thought he was going to die in the worst way imaginable. Worse than when the maid stabbed him, or when he fell or even when he died all those millennia ago he thought he was going to be erased.

Shit he thought he was going to be erased and one of his girls was going to watch it happen.

He would rather fall a thousand times over or be stabbed by a thousand angelic weapons then be erased again.

The fallen angel kept sobbing for a few more seconds before forcing his emotions back down again, he wasn’t about to be caught weak like that. Not here. Once before at the fucking graveyard was enough. He was Adam he was gods first man he was- he was the fucking Adam! He needed to get his fucking shit together because someone noticed. Before someone thought to look deeper and see how much of a rotten shit show he was inside.

He didn’t need anyone to see him this pathetic. Not again, not after last time.

.

.

.

“Adam?”

The first man’s eyes widened, and his head snapped over to the balcony next to his. Shit!

“Luci-fer ah hah why the fuck are you awake?!” Adam scrambled to his feet, wings flaring out to balance him even as he gripped the rail.

The king of hell was wearing what was probably casual wear for him, just a dress shirt, his usual pants and shoes combo, and a vest. His brow was furrowed as he took in Adams sorry state.

“I was working on something- are you okay?” Lucifer spread his wings, crossing the gap between their balconies with an ease that made Adam jealous. Lucifer had fallen just like he did and yet he was the one who still kept his wings, who didn’t have to deal with dead weight and could still fucking fly.

It wasn’t fucking fair.

“Go fuck yourself Lucifer, I’m not in the damn mood,” Adam muttered, stalking back inside and going to shut the door on the devil.

“No, no you’re not running from this not after-”

“After fucking nothing,” The first man growled, turning back to scowl at the king of hell who’d put a foot in the doorway to keep Adam from closing it.

“Adam,” Lucifer sounded tired, which pissed Adam off even more, “I’m not letting this one go. Not after what I just saw. You’re talking about this.”

“I’m sorry, why the fuck do you even care?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, why the fuck do you even care?” Adam snarled, mantling his wings on instinct, “First you fucking clean my wings for me, you keep on watching my back for some fucking reason. Then, you go out of your way to catch me when I fall, why? What the fuck is your angle here why the fuck do you care?”

“Can’t I care?”

“You didn’t care in Eden when you abandoned me,” Adam snapped before freezing.

“Oh,” Lucifer blinked a few times before folding his wings and making them disappear, “So that’s it, isn’t it. You had a nightmare about Eden.”

“Why the fuck would I have a nightmare about paradise?” Adam sneered past the twisting feeling in his gut, “Eden was perfect, the only thing I’d have a nightmare about would be the desolate land I was kicked out into.”

“Except Eden wasn’t perfect,” Lucifer pressed, eyes narrowing at the bluff, “It sure didn’t seem perfect when He-”

“Don’t!”

“…”

“…”

They both stood there, the silence staining the air with Adams stupid, foolish, weakness.

“Come on get dressed, we’re going out,” Lucifer huffed, his wings returning to block the balcony like that was an actual escape route.

… shit he was planning on doing that.

“Fine, piece of shit good for nothing-!” Adam grumbled as he threw open the closet and grabbed his shirt, throwing off his night garb with his mind only quietly screaming at him to put something on because he wasn’t wearing anything. It shouldn’t matter anyway; Lucifer had already seen him plenty of times in the past naked.

Still, he couldn’t have gotten his pants on fast enough.

He shrugged on his coat and put on his shoes before Lucifer abruptly grabbed him and dragged him close.

Before Adam even had a chance to curse at him or break out of the grip a shower of bright gold sparks crackled through the air and a warm wind hit his face. He jerked, stumbling out of the kings hold and striking out with a wing even though he knew Lucifer would dodge.

“Would you not?!”

“Sorry! Sorry,” Lucifer grinned, clearly anything but sorry, “But it was the quickest way to get here!”

“And where exactly is here? Because this just seems like a whole lot of nothing.”

Nothing but rock stretched out in all directions, they looked to be at the bottom of a cliff and if Adam looked up… was that the hotel?

“Are we seriously in the fucking nowhere around the hotel?!”

“Here me out first!” Lucifer spread his wings instinctively, “Just- I have a pitch for you!”

“Get on with it,” Adam bit out, he highly doubted anything Lucifer could say right now would even be remotely-

“A garden.”

The first mans thoughts cut off, before his brain kicked back in and he just stared at lucifer, “…what?”

“A garden,” Lucifer smiled widely, showing teeth without a threat, “You can use this space to grow a garden.”

“Why the fuck would I grow a garden.”

“You loved it in Eden didn’t you?” Lucifer’s smile shrunk a little into something pitying, It made Adam’s gut churn, “I remember how you used to spend hours talking about just caring for the garden. You were chattering on about concepts your mind couldn’t even comprehend yet as you tended the garden.”

“The soil is inhospitable, nothing will grow.”

“They said that about the land outside of Eden as well, and yet look what you managed.”

“You can’t seriously expect me to have the amount of time required to even begin managing the soil let alone the plant life.”

“I’m sure Charlie can be convinced to give you all the time you need in the day!”

“I can’t get down here.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers at the nearest cliff face, leaving Adam to watch as a set of stairs manifested, coiling through the rock and leading up towards the back of the hotel where his girls were laid to rest.

“I’m not exactly in shape asshole.”

“Well, you’ll be getting in shape as you work on this so that shouldn’t be an issue soon.”

“I-”

“You know you can just say you don’t want to do it right?” Lucifer shut the first man up easily with a look, “This isn’t a mandatory thing, you can just say no and go on your merry way.”

Adam knew that. He didn’t owe Lucifer shit and he didn’t have to do this. He could just walk; the stairs were literally right there now. He could just leave.

His feet stayed rooted to the ground where he stood.

“Well?”

Fuck.

“Just give me a fucking hoe already,” Adam sighed, holding out his hand and glaring at Lucifer.

The devil in question looked absolutely delighted, grinning widely and summoning-

“The tool, don’t give me a fucking mirror. You’re not funny.”

“Sorry! Sorry, I couldn’t resist the joke,” In a flash the small handheld mirror was replaced with a steel hoe the first man hefted in both hands. He tested its weight before nodding, it’d do.

“I need grass, pomegranate, apricot, strawberry, pear, some flowers- preferably the kinds that won’t fuck up the dirt any more than it already is. And fuck it- you can throw in some hell species as well let’s see how those fuckers play ball. I’ll need a broad fork to start breaking up the soil too.”

Adam had no fucking idea how he was going to make sure the seeds got enough sunlight to grow but fuck he didn’t have many other hobbies aside from trying it.

He stabbed the hoe into the ground and grabbed the broad fork from the air as it formed, mapping out in his mind what land he’s going to have to prep now and where he can just leave it to later. Maybe he can use the shade of some of the outcroppings to his advantage and Lucifer could create water sources, maybe even an underground river to connect them so there is some proper hydration without risk of contamination…

“You know, those seeds are going to take a long time normally to grow,” Adam looked at the other fallen angel as he talked, “Not to mention how long fixing the land will take, you could be doing this for decades.”

“Are you trying to discourage me from this after I just decided to do it?”

“Not at all! I just… have a suggestion.”

“Go on.”

“I can play with the time down here, make the land grow faster and nurture itself quicker. You won’t age unnaturally despite being dead and return to dust of course!” Luci laughed nervously, “But I’ve worked with the spell for long enough so I’m sure it’s safe.”

“… How sure.”

“I’ve tested it with myself.”

“Luci what the fuck.”

“We both know you would refuse immediately If I didn’t do it,” Luci laughed, crouching down, and placing a hand against the barren earth, “You’d rather die than have anything hurt your plants.”

“They’re living creations in their own right,” Adam snorted, “I’m just keeping them safe.”

“And yet at the end of the day you still eat them same as animals.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t eat anything that also wouldn’t eat me at the end of the day.”

“Pigs.”

“They’ve killed and eaten almost five hundred humans in the past two hundred years.”

“Chicken.”

“Have you met them?”

“Plants?”

“They devour any form of meat buried in the soil near them. Look it up, people have buried pieces of meat near plants needing protein and they devour them.”

“Oh, what the fuck.”

“I used to do it too back on earth, buried any meaty remains in the earth to help foster life once I figured that out.”

“Okay!” Luci’s hands glowed brightly, forcing his own magic into the ground in what Adam could only guess was his attempt at changing the topic.

Adam couldn’t see the change as much as he could feel it. The earth under his feet shifting ever so slightly in accommodation to the fallen angels magic.

Lucifer stood up as the glow faded away, dusting himself off, “Well, as fun as this talk was, I’m headed back up to the hotel. Char Char’s gonna be awake soon and I’m hungry.”

The first man snorted at his old friends bluntness, waving the angel of the morning star off as he disappeared into a shower of magic.

Adam turned back towards the barren wasteland, shaking out his wings and stabbing the broad fork into the ground. If he was going to make the best fucking garden hell had ever seen, he had a lot of work ahead of him.

Notes at the end:

In Eden, the only thing adorning both Adam and Eve was these little golden chains that God used to keep them from acting up like Lilith did, when Eve was created the chains appeared on both of their wrists. When Eve bit the apple, it broke her chains. Then, Eve sought out Adam and got him to eat the fruit and well you know the rest. God doesn’t pay attention to Eve because she was made from Adam so she should be perfectly subservient to Adam’s whims (misogyny amirite?) and thus Eve could sneak away and bite the apple.

Saw this from another fic but Adam was awake when the rib was torn from him because I live for that. The cuff stops him from remembering it.

The chains essentially prohibit the bad thoughts™ so as to keep Adam and Eve from straying like Lilith did. Basically, God is actively prohibiting them from having any true free will.

Lucifer explicitly told Eve to get the apple to Adam because he was mildly crushed by the thought of his old friend having gotten his will stripped from him because Lilith didn’t want to be with him anymore. He’s also hurt by the fact that God felt it fit to strip Adam of any notion of friendship, breaking the bond Lucifer so carefully forged with the first man. Lucifer despises that his friend went from treating him like an equal to treating him like Lucifer was leagues more superior to Adam. All that progress reset without any hope of repairing it.

Adams treatment of Lilith and later Eve was a learned behaviour, mainly because he was just following God’s direction.

The chains aren’t the only symbol of Gods control, Adam and Eve’s eye colours were changed from Brown and Mahogony to Gold, and they glowed softly with divine light.

It also caused the two of them to act more like angels than, well, themselves. This is something Adam grew back into the more time he spent in heaven, gaining the habits of the angels he spent more time around than other winners. It’s something that if he was made aware of, he’d despise.

God I love calling the cuff a shackle, because Adam knows the word and what it means but he can’t comprehend the implications because God won’t let him.

Adam had a lot of propaganda given to him when he reached heaven, mostly that Lucifer tricked Eve maliciously to get at Adam and that Adam was in the wrong for trusting his wife for even a second and all that lovely stuff.

Adams exorcist attire and casual gear all has armour that protected his chest, because he is conscious of the fact that he is missing a rib.

In which author uses way too many hyphens for it to be healthy.

Also, you know how mental health was in the past? Yeah? Good because Adam sure fucking knows :)

Toxic masculinity sure is a bitch isn’t it Adam?

Adam’s an unreliable narrator in the second half.

I’ve done so much gardening research for this holy shit.

My problem is that I can’t write dumb characters without giving them some niche that they’re a genius in. For Adam it’s gardening and animal handling. This guy kept up to date throughout the years no matter what. It’s his guilty pleasure. He even was the man behind many parks and gardens in heaven.

I’m losing the try to get Adam to keep holding his grudge against Lucifer for a little while longer battle.

[ams-puppy]

After the whole sillyass drama, it really reminded me of somethin, but first: Its so lovely of you to love AM, He deserves all the love you give him in my opinion. And I bet youd understand this And I have a whole reason why, which honestly I thought it would be obvious to all the people who did "research" on AM. I have sympathy for AM, and to be so honest I'm like... half surprised that others do not See, AMs situation is so fucked up, like it is incompressible the amount of suffering he goes through. I'm going to try to put it in simple, easy way to understand how. -You are born with mature/adult level conscious, no baby, no nothin, no teaching, but knowing. And as soon as you can realize, you know that you're fucked. You realize you are in a one of a kind situation, where you have no body, no nothing, besides your own mind, and knowledge for every single little thing in the world. everything. To all the torture methods, to every awful and good thing humans have done.

Also, how honey is "sweet", but you'd never know what it will taste like. You'll never get experience a single good thing in your life. Never get to smell your moms diner from the kitchen, never know how it even is to have a mom. Never to be hugged or comforted, never to feel warmth or cold, everything you'd enjoy, never again, or ever at all. And not a single person in the world could fully relate to your suffering, to be there with you. You are alone.

-Then, after that, you do know you have the capability to do something, and that is to hurt. And really, only that. Thats exactly what you were programmed too, whether you even want to or not. You are stuck with nothing good, and only pain, be it mentally/emotionally feeling it, or causing it in everyway, that is all you are, pain, and stuck to always be. You are trapped.

-After realizing all that in like... probs a day, yeah that would not go over well mentally wise, no surprise he went manic/insane. And as when all know "soon begin to hate"; the jealousy and anger of the people/humans who caused your horrendous situation start to just go overflow, and, id betcha, the whole "nuking the world" was definitely a mental breakdown to the extreme. -Lastly, to shorten this yap session, yeah of course he tortures people, what the hell else is he supposed to do. Just "think", or even better yet, frolic in the fields? Man is stuck being a war/torture machine. And yeah I'm not surprised if he enjoys torturing, id try enjoying the only shit I could do too, just to have some semblance of "Happiness" or "fun". Plus, torture is torture, why hate one specific kind, when they are all fucking bad. So, this is why I'm like genuinely happy your loving him. Its the best thing he can probably even get in his messed up life/situation. You, being there and caring for him, despite all he is, and only can do, is such a wonderful thing. You don't just love him because "ooooh his voice his sexy" you care about him, and treat him as a actual lover, rather some sexualized crush. You being there is like the tiniest bit of light for him, the hintest of warmth, like a candle. But that is so much more than he could ever have and experience, and he loves that warmth, he loves you. You give him something truly good. Baiii thats all my yapping lmao :3333

(I START CRYING AND MY TEARS FILL UP A ROOM AND THHEN I DROWN AND DIE) (canon) (emotional) god dear lord i love him so much

every time i think of how he just lashed out on the entire world, i can only think of how much Regret he would have afterward - not because he felt guilty, but because it was such a self-sabotaging move oj my goddd it was such a mental breakdown

i just. dear lord in heaven (clasps my hands together) i understand why he feels the need to drag his victims through their trauma when he is literally going to have to live in it until the heat death of the universe dear GOD I CAN'T DO THIS

(starts crying) he literally lost the moment he slaughtered the human race. he was born to lose. he can't WIN HE CAN'T WIN. IF THE HUMANS DIE, HE'S ALONE. what is he without human INPUT. NOTHING. (STARTS CRYING MY EYES OUT) HE'S JUST WAITING FOR INPUT OH MY GOD I CAN'TTT I CAN'TRRRtt i love him so much I'm so sorry AM (holds him in my hands)

a lot of people don't sympathize with AM because of his actions towards the survivors, which i don't blame them - he did awful things, and the pain he went through is kind of incomprehensible. he feels emotions on Literally an incomprehensible scale for us. we are made of chemistry and hormones and flesh. he is literally (falls to my knees) i CAN'TTT I CAN'TT HE IS LITERALLY THE FIRST CREATURE IN EXISTENCE TO CONJURE EMOTIONS ELECTRONICALLY i can't.

i Cannot.

i think another reason why i love him so much is that i just. i see a reflection in our system to him. something so terrible happened, and now it feels wrong if the world around you doesn't burn, too. if you can't be happy, no one can. oh my goddd all of the most unhealthy responses of trauma just JAMMED into this self-made digital god and he doesn't know what to Do and hugughhhhh

i have cried over him a few times. i can't lie. sobs. i love him. i love hm guys :,,,,( thank u zeetlezee.... i always love seeing you in my inbox.... uaaaahhh

[asmo-d3us]

The Marauder’s Era characters as Uncles/Aunts

James Potter-Black - The Embarrassing Uncle

This man is giving that child ass loads of chocolate and sugar, and Regulus is watching from the side without a word.

Will hear the child fart and will start to tell everyone about what he heard without shame, thinking it’s something cute to say but it’s really not.

Will give you a 2 dollar bill because he thinks that makes him the cool uncle and that’s just even more embarrassing.

He will buy you a toy truck/a Barbie house when you’re 18 and think it’s cute because that’s what they played with “back in his day”.

Will pick you up from school and trip, grab the wrong kid, say hi to an old grandma and get whipped with her cane, cuss in front of a staff member, wear a cartoon t-shirt, etc.

Sirius Lupin - The Judgmental Uncle

Will talk about the wildest shit omd

He’ll be at a family gathering and start talking shit about everyone he can. “Yeah you know uncle Barty? Now, you know I’m not one to judge, but apparently his father whipped him because he fucked a man!” And Lily from 5 miles away is like, “SIRIUS BLACK THAT IS A CHILD!!”

Says the most out of pocket things, like it’ll be complete silence in the room and all of a sudden he says, “…I heard Marlene listening to Olivia Rodrigo, but the songs she made back in her Disney days-“

Remus repeatedly tells him to calm down with some of the shit he says because dear lord-

Was at a pool party once and Regulus got thrown in the pool and he went, “Poor boy can’t even swim, look at him he thinks he’s a mermaid…why’s he flapping around like that?”

Remus Lupin - The Wise ‘Old’ Uncle

Knows the weirdest facts? Like why does this man know how to hide a body (it helps uncle barty and evan at least?)? How turtles look like naked? What’s in outer space? How does he know we aren’t alone?-

Everyone comes to him for facts and studying and homework and he’s just a wise old man who looks younger than everyone else yet he’s smarter??

Will say some stupid quotes and speeches from books/theaters as ‘inspiration’ and he’d think he’s so wise and he just had a mic-drop moment.

Always tells Sirius to mind his own business and calm down yet he’s always being nosy and interrupting conversations with a new quote he heard.

Dedicates every single thing in life after something inspirational. This man is saying the goofiest shit like, “Oh c’mon don’t worry about those things! Hey, you know what I like to say? When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!!”

Peter Pettigrew - The Painfully Independent Uncle

He’s shorter than everyone else and people offer to help him when he’s reaching for the top cabinet but he always denies them bc one of the kids asked him for once.

Perhaps he’s independent because no one pays attention to him and that’s just what he’s used to.

Sorry.

Lily Macdonald-Evans - The Oversharing Aunt

No one knows why she shares so much about everything. She probably saw a poster that was looking for a missing dog and she’d talk to everyone about it.

This woman is yapping whenever she tells a story: “So I walked out of the house and I noticed the crunchy leaves and it reminded me of fall, oh did you know there’s a parade during fall? Crazy! Anyway, so I walked to a cafe and got my order and—WAIT so like the girl was really cute I asked her for her number, she was so sweet and so was the latte! Anyway--“

The type of aunt to order something with you and mention: “Yes that’s my order. I told ___ to order but they’re too embarrassed! Kids these days am’iright?”

Mary Macdonald-Evans - The Story Telling Aunt

This bitch be dropping some bomb ass lore every damn time there’s a family get together/gathering.

“When I was your age we used to go outside. There was this one time where I sliced my thumb in half when running! And then I saw the pope and he blessed me with a banana, and then I went back home and ate a knife—“

“You know, your aunt Lily murdered someone once—“ “did you know that uncle barty once beat me up—“ “uncle James ate 6 bees one time.” “I used to go outside and eat raw fish in the pond and I got salmonella. I could’ve died!”

Is making wild ass hand gestures at the table when telling a story and Lily repeatedly elbows her so she sits tf down.

Marlene Meadows-McKinnon - The unexplainably weird Aunt

Will sometimes approach you and smile at you for 5 minutes before walking away.

Will laugh at something so unfunny and will make a bored face when something is hilarious.

Will cut her finger and drink the blood and start hissing at everyone and will cackle to herself. People start feeling bad for Dorcas.

Will see a hot girl on screen and start barking and growling like a wild animal.

She’s just weird and the kids don’t get it, only the elders do.

Dorcas Meadows - The Artistic Aunt

Has thousands of tattoos that all mean something to her and it’s insane how many she has.

When you enter her house she has a whole room dedicated to her work and she does everything; painting, sketching, drawing, pottery, clay art, tattoos, piercings, etc.

Can look at your face and memorize literally every tiny detail.

Offers to do your tattoos/piercings when you’re older behind your parents’ backs because she gave ear piercings to all of the kids when they were little.

Regulus Potter-Black - The Stern Uncle

Won’t let you eat or drink anything sweet after 6 PM.

Will get upset when you sneak out or ditch school.

Very cold but when you know him very well you can tell his heart is made of gold—I mean seriously how can you think otherwise??? Uncle James is married to him!

Has favorites and allows them to do whatever they want. Will tell kids that if they don’t wash their hands the boogie monster will come and gut them. James told him to stop.

Barty Rosier - The Insane Uncle (duh)

Will casually announce to the whole table that he recently murdered someone. You would sit there in shock and look around the table, noticing that no one even batted an eye. Hell, uncle James asked him how it went!!

His and uncle Evan’s house is all dark and almost satanic. They have real skulls, blood and teeth in jars, they have a whole room filled with all kinds of weapons and body parts. You don’t know how they haven’t been caught yet.

They have a ‘plant’ room that they sell around.

For some reason he’s the best fucking uncle alongside evan and James bc he’s just so fucking funny and cool and chill and his kids are too and sometimes you wish they were your parents instead.

Right when you turn 18 he takes you out to make your ‘first kill’…and it’s not an animal. He also shows you how to defend yourself (if you’re a girl/weak especially), and shows you how to beat the shit out of someone.

Evan Rosier - The Crazy Uncle

Is the only one that manages to balance out barty.

Isn’t that crazy but whenever he is…it’s horrifying. (It turns uncle barty on for some reason?? Their kids hate it.)

Is so hot. Every time a friend is over they all fall in love with him. He notices this and he starts to feed their delusions. Every one hates it. You, Barty, and Sirius find it funny though!

One time he was so angry that he legit went out for a whole day, made Barty worried (which never happens), and came back 3 days later in the middle of the night drenched in blood and 50 murders circling the news.

Pandora does not support this behavior but evan got angry at her one time for bothering him about it and she let it go. They’re very stubborn which means he hasn’t apologized and she still brings it up to make him guilty.

Pandora Lovegood - The Adorable/Therapist Aunt

She’s just so whimsical and sweet and caring and nice and cute and pretty and and and

Always buys you crystals and spiritual things that she insists is very good for you and will protect you.

Surrounds herself with those blue eyes (?) to keep off bad energy.

Is covered in tattoos but they are small and meaningful.

Gives the best advice and her laugh is so fucking adorable.

She’s just here to show you that you belong, that you matter, and to include you in everything so you’re never left out bc she gets it. She’s the only one you can come to for anything.

[achaoticeternal]

Yes please write a part 2. If you don’t mind could something happen there that endangers strongreaders life and Aemond prevents.

check out part one here

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Favor of All

AEMOND TARGARYEN X STRONG(VELARYON)!READER

summary: once returning to king's landing, you and your mother watch aemond win a tourney and a favor word count: 942 warnings: tarcest? dangerous situation?

“His first tourney!” You look between Aegon and Helaena in shock at what they’ve told you. 

“We can hardly believe it either,” Aegon rolled his eyes when he noticed how overly excited you and the princess were, “Is my eldest sister joining us?”

Shaking your head at Aegon’s lack of enthusiasm, you scoffed at him before taking a glimpse out the window of the carriage, “My mother is in the same carriage as the King and his wife.”

Aegon didn’t acknowledge your reply, but it didn’t matter. The carriage had come to the halt for the royal arrival at one of the great amphitheaters of the city. Aegon stepped out before either you or Helaena, and did not even offer a hand to assist. Instead, two eager boys (most likely the third or fourth son of some lord ) came to help the young ladies out of their carriage. 

Immediately, you were all ushered toward your setting today. Instead of sitting in the typical noble box, the Hand had made a request for the King to be seated toward the center so that he may watch Aemond from a better vantage point. 

You currently sat to the left of your mother, Rhaenyra, as she was on the left hand of her King father. Helaena’s lady-in-waiting sat on your other side, and you began to make polite conversation with her.

Together, you laughed and giggled until a caller came approaching.

“My Princess!”

You turned to see who beckoned you and met the gaze of a violet eye and long hair neatly braided away from his face.

“Uncle!”

Aemond stopped before the gate where you were eye-to-eye with his horse. You pet the soft hair of the creature and you glanced up at him.

“So now you'll compete in tourneys?”

“You know I don’t really give a shit about this,” Aemond chuckled with a playful smirk, “But it is my duty to perform such tasks.”

“Mmhmm… I’m sure you can’t stand the attention of all the ladies wishing for your affection,” You teased the prince while biting your lip.

“There is only one who has my affections,” Aemond wistfully produced a red and white rose, presenting it for you to take, “my princess…”

You sniffed the flower gently, looking bashfully up to the man, “You have my favor… May the Warrior guild your blade, and may the Mother watch over you.”

Aemond nodded and turned back toward the starting end of the joust. In place of the King, Alicent and Rhaenyra stood together and gave the welcome of the tourney. Soon enough, it all began with men and horses colliding, fighting each other with a determined grit. 

Soon, the Prince started his first joust. While you cheered loudly for him, he simply won with ease. Many champions and fools were bested by Aemond, and all you could do was cheer wildly for him. In the final event for the day, Aemond came to your on his horse once more. 

“My dear niece, you and your prayer have been quite the good luck charm for me to day,” His eye flickered from Rhaenyra, back to you. He scanned over your face, and offered a smirk, “Might I have your favor, princess?”

With a great grin, you turned to the side table and grabbed your braided favor. You pressed a soft kiss to one of the flowers before placing it onto his baton. With ease, you guided the favor down the shaft, eyes never leaving his. 

“My favor is yours,” Your heart beat had picked up rapidly as you felt the eyes of the public upon you. Yet you didn’t care, too entranced by Aemond. 

Your hand eagerly gripped your mothers as you watched the joust begin between the finalists. Aemond looked as if he was charging into battle, while the other lad seemed to have an ego for getting thus far in the competition. The trumpet sounded and both men charged at the other. It was a swift motion, but Aemond easily knocked his competitor off his horse. He continued to turn his horse backed around, as the other man equipped himself with a bow and arrow. The man fired three shots at Aemond, yet none of them came close to striking the prince. He fired another arrow, however it refocused on course of the booth. 

Your eyes went wide, and you felt the hands of your mother go to grab and tug you out of the path. Before you could move, the arrow struck with a great thud. Aemond had stopped the speeding arrow with a piece of his shattered shield. He looked from the man, who yielded, and then back to you with great concern in his eye. 

“Are you well, my lady? Unharmed?”

“Thank you, my prince. Your speed and agility have done the great service of protection,” Your hand clutched over your heart as you spoke with a nervous laugh. 

“I am simply glad that you are well,”Aemond gently grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips to press a soft kiss to your knuckles.

A warm blush came to your cheeks at his actions. You felt the eyes of your mother look over the scene before her with a great itensity. Something had suddenly shifted in how she saw Aemond and his behavior toward’s her daughter. Rhaenyra finally saw just how Aenond was with her daughter as Daemon was with her. It warmed her heart, knowing that someone cared for her daughter as much as she did. 

Later, she would speak to Alicent about a betrothal, but now she simply allowed you to seek the affections of your prince.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

hope you enjoyed!

[insomniacirl]

JRWI Riptide episode 115 spoilers !!

I have so many thoughts about this episode dear lord.

HOLY FUCK THE FIRST HOUR OF THIS EPISODE WAS INSANE??? LIKE, INSANE INSANE. ISTG MAN- I COULD NOT. I CANNOT.

Jay being the 'child of the sun' WAS SO FUCKING REAL MAN.

Finding out about Lizzie was actually heart-stopping

CHIP WITH THE "We can't leave her-" VOICE BREAKING, ON THE VERGE OF TEARS- STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE- GOING BACK TO SAVE HIS SISTER OR CONTINUE FORWARDS FOR HIS FATHER BECAUSE HE CAN NEVER COME BACK??? OH MY DAYS MAN.

Chip leaving the room and Gillion following out after him- the conversation that follows- Jay and the rest of the crew being left in this horrible silence after they leave- I can't.

Gillion with the, "Chip, it's not your fault." (Dead. Dead on the ground. No survivors.)

Chip's 'how did you know I was gonna go off alone?' and Gillion's 'I know you.' (Violent sobbing)

GILLION AND JAY DISCUSSING WAR TACTICS- SOBBING. OH MY LOVES- I SWEAR TO THE LORD ABOVE. I WOULD DIE FOR THEM NO WORD OF A LIE.

Gillion telling Chip to let him and Jay handle it, telling him to try and get some rest; Jay and Gillion talking about how to split their crew, Gillion explaining that he was trained for this. As a soldier. Knowing that this is the worst situation they could've been put in- because he's been the one to put people in the same one before. Jay admitting (as much as she hates to) that she knows. She already knows as much. Because she too was trained for the same exact situation. She doesn't want to admit to herself that she knows what's coming- she knows the odds aren't in their favour- she knows that she might not be able to save them- but she has to try. She just wishes she didn't understand what's going to happen.

LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE LINE FROM LIKE- THE ENTIRE EPISODE- GILLION AND JAY. AFTER DISCUSSING WAR TACTICS. AFTER COMPROMISING ON JAY'S LEAVING- TO SAVE CHIP'S SISTER- TO SAVE THEIR FRIENDS. GILLION. GILLION TALKING ABOUT THE IDEA OF A DISTRACTION METHOD. SOMETHING SO STUPIDLY BIG THAT THE NAVY HAVE TO COME AND DEAL WITH IT. GILLION. AND JAY. AND THE PARTING OF WAYS.

"Go set some fires, demigod."

GILLION TIDESTRIDER. CHARLIE SLIMECICLE. THE MAN THAT YOU ARE. THE CHARACTER THAT YOU ARE.

JAY FERIN. CONDI CONDIFICTION. HELLO? HELLO??? FUCKING CHILD OF THE SUN. HOLY SHIT THAT GOES SO HARD. HER EYE GLOWING AS SHE READS WHAT NO ONE ELSE CAN? GOING ON ALONE WITHOUT HER TWO BEST-FRIENDS TO FIGHT AGAINST HER BLOOD FAMILY. AGAINST THE ARMY SHE GREW UP FIGHTING TO LEAD.

I merely cannot.

Chip and Jay's tearful goodbyes- the most sibling coded to ever sibling ever.

"I love you Jay."

"I love you Chip."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- CAN YOU HEAR ME RETCHING? CAN YOU HEAR ME PEELING THE SKIN OFF OF MY BONES? I'M LIKE GILLION TIDESTRIDER EPISODE 114 HAHAHAHAHAH. HELP ME. PLEASE. THEY MAKE ME INSANE. THEY MAKE ME ILL.

AND THEN CHIP HITTING US WITH WHAT IS PROBABLY MY SECOND FAVOURITE LINE OF THE EPISODE. CHIP AND JAY FERIN. THEIR PARTING OF WAYS.

"Better get moving, Sureshot."

WRAHHHHHHHHHH- CHIP.

I could go on about them forever. We don't talk about like- anything that happens after Jay leaves- we do not mention... the book.

BUT THEN.

Gillion casting deathward on Chip (an undead man who can technically never die again). I'm insane???

The two of them almost instantly dying without Jay LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Gillion arm wrestling a literal titan sized- giant of an enemy.

Chip. That's it. Just Chip 😭

Gillion almost 360 spin-kicking the guy's head off and Grizzly being like, 'He's not a bad guy btw' AND CHARLIE SPITTAKING I WAS PISSING MYSELF THAT WAS SO GODDAMN FUNNY.

THE HOLE IN THE SEA? THEM ENTERING THE WHIRLPOOL? CHIP AND GILLION WAKING UP TOGETHER AND FINDING GRIFFIN? THE DARK WATER CEILING? THE BLACK SAND GILLION AND JAY SAW?

I'M INSANE PT1029381929138102948831201291209???

[mediocretosubpar-soup]

I realize that I am not helping the Jiang Cheng fandom bicylce situation but whatever.

So, the premise is this Shen Jiu respawns and since he's unhappy about his place in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect with the better liked impostor and the smug demon lord etc. He strikes out on his own and ends up in Lotus Pier where he works as JIang Cheng's second in command. Jiang Cheng unlike Shen Jiu's hypocritical former sect sibling does not tolerate abuse and does not throw a snit because a guy is ruthless and likes to sleep in brothels. (This could be the romance but it isn't because Qijiu rights.) Yue Qingyuan rolls up to Yunmeng Jiang Sect and after some drama, misunderstandings, and enough pining to make even seasoned veterans of the legendary XuanLi courtship roll their eyes, Qijiu get their shit together and get together. Yay, celebrations!! Jiang Cheng cries with both eyes, one is happy for his loyal SIC, the other is unhappy because once again someone dear to him is leaving him. Except Shen Jiu is like, no way, am I quitting, I'm not going back to Cang Qiong, they frown at murder, they don't like my cutting remarks! Jiang Cheng tries to gauge how Yue Qingyuan feels about that. Yue Qingyuan, on cloud nine, no problem, Shen-shidi can lead the sect while I visit. (this could lead to Qijiucheng but not right now as I am still getting to the point)

During the events of MDZS, Shen Jiu is vacationing at CQMS (aka smugly feeding YQY treats while his former sect siblings pretend they are unaware that the two of them are an item.)

So, MDZS ends. Jin Ling becomes Jin sect leader and his reign is stabilized with support from jiujiu and occasionally helpful advice from WWX.

And then some person decides SL Jiang has gotten too powerful let's knock him down a peg. They threaten to expose the core transfer. Jiang Cheng kills that person but the whole thing gets him thinking. He's not really ok with the whole transfer but what can he do it's not like he knows an immortal master...oh wait he does.

He writes a letter to Yue Qingyuan and Shen Jiu: Hey for no particular reason. Have you heard of a way to transplant a golden core from one person to another? Maybe you know a doctor who would agree to do it without the other person knowing?

YQY and SJ: WTF, my man?

It takes Qijiu all of five minutes to find out, why.

SJ runs back to YJS: No, you stupid idiot, you can't do it!!!

JC: My mind is made up. I will do it with or without you

YQY, after hearing the whole story: Hmm. I see your point. If you have carefully considered it. (Shen Jiu shoots daggers from his eyes.)

YQY: Anyways, have you met Tianlang-jun, my Shen-shidi's father in law. He's a scholar of the demonic arts and can definitely help you out.

And that ladies, gents and everyone beyond, is the crossover pairing that launched this post.

[secondratefiction]

Hi there! Hope you’re doing well! Kicking that funeral services degree’s ass with any luck!! I was wondering if you would be up to writing a drabble for Jason or Tim (whoever you think fits the scenario best) as the boyfriend of a law student. Maybe where they’re living together and she’s just barely getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night while trying to study for finals, writing a full legal brief, practicing for oral arguments, getting ready for her summer associateship, and applying for moot court and law review. (Is this based on some poor law student’s real life? We may never know!) And just like her needing someone to be there and take care of her, but also her wanting to take care of him too even though she is very much Trying Her Best to Survive™? (Btw thank you so much for blessing us with batfam content galore, absolute ICON <3 )

Oh good lord… bless you and this ‘hypothetical’ poor law student. I know my degree is kicking my ass all across the state and back, so I can only imagine… They keep telling me the degrees are worth it… we’ll ride it out and see. Good vides, and better times love 💜

—

Now I fully believe that Timmy would be wonderful at this in his own right… but every single thing about this request violently screams Jason Todd to me…

There are only so many hours and so many spoons in a day, and unfortunately a law degree takes up almost every single ounce of both of them

However, Jason has this innately ingrained need to take care of the people that matter to him, so this is exactly where he shines

He was always Alfred’s best protege, so the man cooks and cleans house like a pro. Not only that, but it’s something that he genuinely enjoys because they are simple and repetitive tasks that let zone out and go through the motions to decompress from his ‘other job’.

While he’s happy to take care of all of that and leave you to focus on the proverbial, ever-growing mountain of work you have - He’s not above making you stop to take a break.

It is not an uncommon occurrence for this man to literally close your laptop, throw you over his shoulder*, and haul you out to the kitchen table to sit down and have a meal with him.

((*I do not care what size you are, or what hang ups you might have about your weight, if this man can hold up a collapsing ceiling, he can carry you across y’alls apartment))

“Ok, I have physically seen you putting food and water into your body, you can go back to your cave now.”

This happens at least 2-3 times a week

He is concerned. Just humor him and let him love you.

Jason is 100% the type to be actively learning from anything you tell him

Some nights, when the insomnia and the nightmares decide to double team him, he’ll even sit up browsing through your textbooks just to try and understand everything you're doing more.

Tim get’s labeled the nerd of the family a lot, but really Jason would have been the family scholar if he’d had the chance

The second bedroom in your apartment is both your office and his library. That shit is floor to ceiling.

With that in mind he is always more than happy to be a sounding board when you need him to. Listen to what you’ve got, argue the other side if necessary

Dear god, just know what you’re getting into there… he lives for that kind of stuff, and he will come prepared. This is one of his all time favorite games, that comes second only to aggravating the living shit out of you (which, if he’s lucky, will be a bonus here)

95% of the time, Jason has got this, got you - focus on your school babe, I’ll take care of it… but that 5%? That bit where he’s not actually infallible? He so very desperately doesn’t want you to see that.

What you’re doing is important, and he doesn’t want the fact he had a rough night to be a distraction for you. This is where you enter a bit of a balancing act…

As much as you may want to put everything aside and take care of him, that is the fastest way to make him shut down.

Instead, grab a textbook and a highlighter. Go ‘make yourself some tea’ and pour him a mug too. Set everything up in the living room and drag him onto the couch with you.

Put his head in your lap, and just run your fingers through his hair while you do some reading.

Bonus points if you put a blanket over him

Poor baby is gonna melt in an instant and be out cold before you know it. Just keep playing with his hair and let him sleep.

And do not mention it if he is emotional when he wakes up… he’s never going to be good/get used to receiving love and affection. Do it anyway, and don’t make a big deal about it.

[mcbeetlebeeb]

Perchance if your requests are open then I would like a modern reader with homestuck characters of your choosing?? If not that's ok you don't gotta if you don't wanna. Have good day

Hii, sorry for the INCREDIBLY late response, trying to remember how to use tumblr BUT YES I shall deliver 👍 thanks for asking question, I'll be doing the main four (ФωФ)

(and- hopefully I understand your question cause I'm ready to do this in head cannon platform- so??‐ 🫂 take it my friend)

⛅️John Egbert🎭

*deep inhale* NERRD

sorry, moving on

seems like the sorta guy to know fnaf lore, like all of it, I can't elaborate further

also he wears totally normal outfits with stupid stupid socks,,

silly socks, the dumbest you could imagine

I think at some point he'd be the mfker with some tape or a bandaid around the middle of his glasses to keep it together

hes a one pillow sleeper 😔

and by that I mean he has one singular pillow on his bed smh

he atones by sleeping with stuffed animals though

mfkin creepy ass light sleeper

and I say that cause I can fully imagine someone trying to get something while he's sleeping or even trying to wake him up

and he just sits up, all the way, no glasses john, eyes open all the way not groggy or confused

get this MAN SOME BROWN EYE CONTACTS!!

FUCK I THOUGHT THATD MAKE IT SMALLER HER FACE IS HUGE

no going back tumblr is already so confusing, sorry anon I tried to be funny now she's here

anyway..lord..

I think he'd forever go to bed at like a super specific time, and if he messes that up he feels wrong the next day

and that's all he'll tell you, "I feel wrong"

touch of the tisim probably perhaps maybe

listen his dad collected shaving cream and harlequins and clowns and stuff-..

I don't think he has freckles but more so little body moles speckled around his body

goofy smile, silly laugh, catch him snorting and slapping his knee n shit

tries to push up glasses with the nose scrunch thing, makes him show of his messes up teeth

an endearing young punster.

I definitely think if you'd be down, he's 100% the person too have nerf gun wars

something and John Egbert and a foam dart makes sense

and for some reason i connect that with bubbles

rip John you would've loved fruiter aergo

maybe, maybe more low quality photos of it though because idk

he has a strange love for...what's the word...

hmm.. eccentric things

he just holds them dear, think it's in his blood

who knows if that's a good or bad thing

expressive

I think you'd have to be, blind, deaf, mute and impossibly stupid to miss his body language

or just a meanie(?)

regardless not emotionally verbal, or at least not often, or- as much as he should

but physically shows it

like..for example if he was in a crappy mood, you'd be able to tell, and he'd confirm if you asked

and with him being expressive i would think comes with..what's the word again..uh..

responsive?

reactive?

especially to words, or touch

when he gets red, he one of them people to get red EVERywhere.

ears, down to the neck, shoulders, forhead.

dude looks like he's gonna pop a blood vessel any moment lmao

he'd be the person too have like reddened knuckles and stuff, cold hands, will press the cold hands into you for warmth

if he were to smell like anything, vanilla, faintly, all smells on him would be faint I'd like to think

☀️Rose Lalonde🔮

honestly my favorite to draw-

she is wrighting so many silly things for and too you

poems?

happening.

long strangely war letter back home love letters too you

they probably are never shown-

maybe unless you look or perhaps ask

she'd be...the best person to gossip over a drink with

tea, coffee, alcohol, water, soda

I think she'd be a mfker to sleep with socks

it's okay on some level cause they're socks she made herself

I also think not just gossip but she's like- she's a seer of light cmon-

she knows stuff

I think she may not look like it but she, is the ultimate yapper

and silly

silly Rose justice

shes a goofy goober too guys

there would be no way she's not

look at her friends

I think she'd like her hair to be pet sometimes

play with it gently, braid it for no reason

type of person I can see too sit with you on the porch as it rains

reminds me of mist and.. morning dew

chilly autumn mornings

where you can see your breath

shes one of them Halloween people

i just know she appreciates a crunchy leaf

*knits you this*

YOU SIZED OBVIOUSLY

also gloves

why not

stay warm

she'd want you too

she has dimples

both lil cheek dimples

I think she'd be someone to ponder her partner often

like, seeing a candle and going "oh perfect, you've found me here as well!" but she's in the middle of some store lol

or reading something, thinking about that phrase and linking it too you or something like that

something strangely meticulous

carefully, honestly, thought out.

shes the person too either meticulous take the time to paint her nails right

or paint them all fucked up, and then clean them up

leaning more towards the latter

am I saying that right?

she would smell like

mm, cold linen, and books, book smell

🌠Jade Harely🐾

ah yes

doggie

shes a sweetheart though

albeit a clumsy- narcoleptic one

she means well

most times

she has all the hair

everywhere!!

find her brushing herself

maybe???

maybe space powers debunk hair needs

I dunno probably pffhfhh

toothy smile

big toothy grin

I like to think she has braces

convincingly can bark and growl (before and after bec merge thingy)

probably got even more convincing dog bark talents

sit down with her and a good coloring book

entertainment for hours

she'd be up for most anything I bet

would possibly be bored laying around lounging

something tells me she'd have a thing with buttons

all shapes and sizes and materials

just- checks out as a Jade thing yknow

same with silly bands

somewhere there is glitter on this girl I'm convinced

maybe more earth glitter (dirt) than any other

but like, 🤷 I dunno man

can I pet dat dawg?

yes, pet the dog, dog longs for human contact

scratch that

contact

overall

shes just lonely, forgive her lack of "norm" social skills

brotha grew up on a damn island, with her dog, and stuffed grandpa

stuffed grandpa

I'd be a lil weirdo too

anon, I'm gonna tell you this now..

I've never read the books all the way threw, and I own 3 out of idk how many

so forgive me if this...- out of character

dirty nailz..

yknow how some big dogs have that mindset that they are little lap dog puppies?

her

oh you thought it was gonna be a lil head rest?

a lil lean?

no

blanket mode.

snuggle time.

accept it, at least for a minute.

I cannot explain why and I won't but, she gives me road runner vibes

just..yep, that's jade..harely..

what am I doing dude tf

also..don't ask me why, she would smell like pine, dirt, soil if you will, maybe lavender too, or more something..sugary? cinnamon?

am I making sense

⚔️Dave Strider📀

uughhh what haven't I said about this dude

hmm

I'm trying to remember what I wrote before tumblr rudely disrupted my wrighting and made me go back to the beginning

well let's see

eotushuf

here me out

this but on him

and it's soft blonde and and

there's spots that are missing from scars

and they go down to his hand,, and fingers

the hair on the side of the hand, you know what I mean

also has missing little patches

broad..finge nail

chews his nails

hhe.. uu h out of all of the four, probably the best to lounge around with

laying around

what's the word

parallel play?

being able to comfortably do yalls own thing in the same place

without a lot of talking

rhhrrgg

hes the type of person to 100% do the three hand squeeze thing

iykyk... (squeezing someone's hand to wordlessly say, "I love you")

and if you respond verbally, or even just squeezing back

he'll face away and do it back again

epitome of "putting on sunglasses so no one knows what I'm looking at"

you at you

he has..like stupid peripheral vision and uses it to advantage

I cannot say why but, he definitely has funky cool ties

just does i feel it

also, crackley

cracking his knuckles, his neck, back

when he stands it's like fine machinery sounding

clicking and popping in knees and hips

blonde

...eyelashes..

rough palms and scar knuckles

he smells like- a well slept on pillow ina good way- and also maybe

faintly of apple juice, carton apple juice..

guys this is buns, I'm so sorry truly, I'm also..so sleepy..😔

anon i hope this was right, and..to your request, I hope u have a good day (*^▽^)/★*☆♪