#dear god i missed this but it sounds hilarious

[starlessea2]

That It Is (Astarion)

Pairing: Astarion x Reader [Baldur's Gate 3]

Summary: After a long day trudging through the sunlit wetlands, you discover your bedroll is waterlogged, and that Astarion has lost his in the swamp... AKA, the classic: ‘oh no, there’s one bed, whatever shall we do, darling?’ (Act 1 spoilers).

A/N This one has a tad more enemies-to-lovers vibe to it, but sweetness nonetheless. 

Masterlist

Night was creeping over Faerûn.

After a day of toiling through the deep murk of the sunlit wetlands, your party had found refuge: an abandoned shack a little ways inland from the swamp. It was unassuming enough through the fog that Gale had tripped over its porch, and even Astarion’s darkvision had missed the contours of the old building tucked away. 

But once scoped, you found that the place was empty. Shadowheart deemed it safe enough for you to unpack your bedrolls and dry your waterlogged boots. So you did just that—even managing to rouse a fire with an ignis and a few pieces of damp wood. 

The flames took a few moments to blaze to life, but once they did, the warmth was heavenly on your skin. One by one, you started to shed your wet outer garments, laying them out by the fire.

“Oh, bloody hells!”

A voice rang out over the crackling hearth. You turned to find Astarion on his knees, rummaging through his supply pack half-deranged.  

He flung the contents out onto the floor: some soggy books, a cask of water, pristinely-folded clothes. Then he promptly turned the pack upside down, seemingly devestated to find nothing else inside.

The rogue threw his hands up. “Gone,” he declared, with a dejected sort of laugh. “Be it just my luck after trudging through this gods forsaken waste—”

From the corner of the room, Shadowheart stopped wringing out her gloves. She gave you a look. Deal with him, she said through the shared connection. 

With a sigh, you conceded. “What’s wrong, Astarion?” You stood over the pale elf, hand on hip, “Broken a nail?” 

Irritation painted his face, but his demeanour remained playful.“Ha! Hilarious as always, my dear,” he replied, without sparing you so much as a glance. “Alas, I’m afraid my situation is a tad more dire.” 

You clicked your tongue. “Go on.”

Astarion stood up, taking a moment to dust himself off. “It seems I’ve lost my bedroll somewhere in that bloody marsh,” he finally admitted. 

Somewhere across the room, Shadowheart’s snort was quickly covered up by a faux cough from Gale. “Oh?” you said, “I thought elves didn’t need to sleep.” 

Astarion shot you a glare. “And do you need to dry your clothes by the fire? Need to eat tonight or, gods forbid, drive us half mad with your infernal singing sometime tomorrow?” 

He stalked the cabin, pointing vivaciously at your drying garments, and menial rations you’d hoped wouldn’t spoil. 

You felt your brow furrow at his display. “No need to be rude,” you said shortly. “Today’s been hard on all of us.” Pushing past him, you quickly retrieved your own pack from its place near the door. “Here—just take mine.”

Fishing around the bag, you searched for your own bedroll before producing it for him. Astarion let out a sound of disgust. 

“You could at least try to be grateful, Astarion,” you started. Then you felt it; your trusted bedroll squelched in your hand. It was pasted with a layer of thick algae, and some other mysteries you couldn’t discern. “Son of a—” you cursed. How had you forgotten when it rolled into the marsh earlier in the day?

A hand found your shoulder. “Thanks for the generous offer, my dear, but I think I’ll pass,” Astarion said, proudly. He then flicked a rather large leech off your bedroll, causing Gale to shriek when it landed at his feet. “I’d like to remain the only bloodsucker around here.”

You were about to quip back, when Astarion stepped closer—enough so that his breath dusted your cheek when he spoke. “And I think I spy a bed in the other room. That should do me just fine.” 

It took you a moment to unravel his words. By the time you did, he’d already traipsed halfway across the cabin. “Hang on a moment,” you called after him,“I already staked my claim on that earlier!”

“Hmm?” the elf hummed, feigning ignorance.

The audacity. You shot a glance back at the wizard, who immediately threw his hands up in surrender. “Oh no, you don’t,” warned Gale, “I’m staying out of this one.”

To his left, Shadowheart looked equally unbothered by your plight. You scowled at them both. 

It was going to be a long night.

—

The cabin was quiet. It had been some time since you had rested in a place with a roof and four walls. There were no beasties lurking near your camp, or dangers beyond the trees. The only threat to your person was Gale’s snores coming from the main living space. He’d taken refuge on the floor, whilst Shadowheart seized the chaise lounge. 

It was a comfortable night. So in principle, you should have had no problem falling into a dreamless sleep. Especially given the feather bed at your back. 

“You know, my dear,” Astarion whispered, “I might have agreed to this arrangement, but that was under the condition that you get some sleep.”

You tried not to startle, but his words sounded so close to your ear. It made your skin prickle with anticipation—despite doing your utmost not to show it. 

“I think you’ll find I was the one who was forced to agree,” you countered, “and I’m trying. You just—” 

Shifting in the bed, you turned around to face the elf beside you. He was leaning on one arm, gazing up at the wooden ceiling as though he were watching the stars. His eyes found yours. “I what?” he asked. 

You could hear his grin; he was teasing you. But you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of backing down now. “You make me nervous,” you answered bluntly. 

He did not reply. Each second of silence that passed made you more and more uneasy. You couldn’t see him well in the dark. And as much as you tried to make out the contours of his face, you knew for sure discern every line on yours—every expression you hoped to conceal. “And why’s that?” he finally asked.

You let out a huff before falling onto your back. “You know why. Stop acting so smug—It doesn’t suit you."

Astarion’s laugh made its way to you. “Everything suits me, darling.” 

A witty remark alluded you, so you opted to stay quiet. Sleep was what you needed right now. The gods only know how deprived you were of it.

So you plumped your pillow and made yourself comfortable. Then you gathered some blankets to yourself. A yawn left you, but your mind felt anything but relaxed. You readjusted again, this time your body pressing into Astarion's. He moved to accomodate you; you stiffened in response.

“Will you stop wriggling around? I can’t so much as move without you flinching."

At his words, your breath hitched. You were midway through an apology before he interrupted.

“Look at me,” he said.

Despite the darkness, his thumb perfectly traced your jaw until it found the space just under your chin. Gently, he coaxed your head up.

“You know I’ve drank from you, right?” You gasped at his candidness. “I've felt your pulse on my tongue and your blood coat my teeth,” he went on. “Hells, I have your thoughts swimming in my head far more often than you probably realise.”

He paused for a moment, and in that time you breathed twice as fast as you ought to.

“You’ve allowed me that much, so sleeping beside me like this?” he said, with a lightness to his voice, “that shouldn’t matter, now should it.”

You couldn't reply. His words were likely meant to comfort, but they had only the opposite effect. As his fingers brushed your cheek, you immediately pulled back—hoping he did not feel the way you burned for him.

“No. I guess not?” you stuttered.

“Good,” came his reply. “Now sleep. I promise I won’t bite” 

He returned to his side of the bed, not overstepping the invisible boundary you'd drawn earlier that evening.

And on your side, you were left to press down whatever feelings threatened to bubble to the surface. You weren’t quite ready to let them out yet—not when you couldn’t see clearly the face he would make in response.

Right now, you just needed to sleep.

So you focused on the snores echoing from the other room, the rain pattering the windows, Astarion's breaths and your heart—which, without realising, had recently started to beat for him.

“Goodnight, Astarion,” you whispered into the dark.

“Yes, my dear," he said softly. "That it is."

[kalifornia1025]

The Red Circle Pt. 1 (SPOILERS)

First part is up, let’s see what we’re dealing with!

Oof John’s already voicing his frustration over the tech issues; wonder how bad it could be

I both love and hate the sounds of John cleaning the mic, it sounds like he’s digging deep into my brain

Okay, we’re just at the end of a case?

Oh yeah, the mic is definitely bugging out

“My dear companion Doctor Watson” UGH HOW SWEET

What is happening?? WHAT IS GOING ON??

“This is going to be an 8 or 10 parter” OH REALLY John??

NONE OF THE ‘CASE’ RECORDED, that’s actually hilarious

“But was the best adventure yet” how great was it that it makes SHERLOCK say that??

Not them all reenacting the ‘case’ HAHA

Yeah John, Sherlock needs to get back to hanging upside down-WHAT

Oof Sherlock really said “you waffle so much that sometimes your random words help me solve the case” (he’s not wrong tho)

THEY DO MOVIE NIGHTS!!!

Awww Mariana’s meeting up with a friend from Hudson’s, how nice!

God, the irony of voice actors being bad at acting is incredible

Sherlock WOULD be the person asking questions during movies (and pointing out inconsistencies)

I love how you can still hear the ‘movie’ going on even when Sherlock & John are talking

This little exchange

John: “Door knock”

Sherlock: “Very observant”

John: “Is that sarcasm there?”

Sherlock: “Exceptionally observant”

John: “Well done”

Sherlock: “Thank you”

Ah!! Chipmunk voice jump scare!

Sherlock: “Is that right, John?”, John: “It’s right big guy” JOHN CALLED SHERLOCK BIG GUY

I feel John’s pain, I HATE having to explain movies to people

OH GOD NOT A REAL-HOUSEWIVES-ESQUE REALITY TV SHOW

“Good God, put the gangster film back on” SAME SHERLOCK

Awesome how Mariana and Imani are already fans of the reality show

“Why do women like that kind of stuff? It’s cruel, it’s vicious, destructive-KILL HIM, SHOOT HIM IN THE EYE”—I will never get tired of this ongoing joke with John starting a point and immediately contradicting it at the end

The ‘bullets through the bum and balls’ exchange shouldn’t be as hilarious as it is, yet here we are

Oooooh, so THIS is how we get the Red Circle case (hopefully it’ll make up for the ‘unrecorded case’)

THE MUSIC?! HELLO??

“The game is afoot” YES MARIANA WE GET TO HEAR YOU SAY IT

Oof John that mic is REALLY messed up

And that’s it for part 1! I was NOT expecting a hilarious start for this one. I can only imagine what ‘case’ we missed (lol), but Red Circle sounds interesting enough! Also, it’s cute hearing more domestic moments with the main trio. I mean they have MOVIE NIGHTS!! The fanfics were TRUE! Anyway, this is a fun start and it’s just the beginning of our 4-part adventure, so stay tuned….

[partmathpartmagic]

"Give me six months"

This is a chapter from a longer fic that you can find here. It's a letter from Astarion, written over the course of six months immediately following the defeat of the Absolute. The premise is that you two are taking some time apart after the main events of the game so he can figure his shit out a bit. I love his friendship ending because he's so happy and proud of himself, but I wish it were possible to have that and the romance as well, so this is me making that happen.

Darling,

It’s been 3 days since you saved the world. I can hear you objecting to my phrasing, so let me rephrase: it’s been 3 days since I saved the world and you were also there. Better, my dear?

This is very irksome, you know. I thought I’d make it more than 3 days without being so desperate to talk to you that I write a bunch of sentimental words down for all the world to see. And even worse, it would’ve been far less than 3 days if I’d been able to find any parchment in this godsforsaken city (we could have just let it burn, darling, no one would blame us!).

Frankly, I’m rather upset with you. Yes, I’m actually making up my mind right now. You don’t deserve a letter from me, you’re too lovely and too brilliant and too beautiful and you make it impossible to live without you.

I’ve decided to help out the spawn in the underdark. There. That’s all you’re getting from me.

______________

Perhaps I was a bit hasty. I apologize.

That’s something I’m working on doing more of, apologizing. I am getting quite a lot of practice, spending every day with people I seduced for… I’d rather not write his name, actually. But you know. People I seduced in order for him to turn and torture and starve and imprison them for a century or two.

As such, I am becoming an expert at apologizing for things no one could ever really apologize for.

If I was in a better mood I’d make a joke about how I’m spending time with thousands of my exes and you should be jealous. You’ll just have to imagine how hilarious it would be, and then pretend it’s not funny even though you’re smiling, and then roll your eyes at me like you always do. I even miss your exasperation. That’s… horrible. This is horrible.

I know it was my idea to go off and figure things out on my own but I’m beginning to suspect I’m the stupidest elf to ever live.

I can’t tell anymore if I’m being funny when I talk or if I’m just being mean. Is that how other people feel about me, that I’m mean? I think it probably is. Maybe I don’t want to be mean. That doesn’t sound right. I think I’m okay with being mean, I just want to be doing it on purpose.

You’re always so kind, but you have your meaner moments, don’t you? Gods, you’re so terrible with children. The things I’ve seen you say to them. They all think you’re dreadful. That’s something at least.

You see, I find it easier to bear your absence if I pretend your presence isn’t the best feeling in the world and everything you do isn’t perfect. I’m never able to pretend for very long, but I get a good couple minutes each day where I convince myself I’m scandalized by how you talk to children and not completely enchanted by it, and I miss you just slightly less.

_______________

It has been one month since we saved the world. I miss the sun almost as much as I miss you.

My siblings have actually made quite a bit of progress with the spawn. They’re talking about starting a school for the younger ones. It’s very strange. I hope they don’t become good people or we’ll have nothing to talk about anymore.

I had a chat with Sebastian this afternoon, which was also strange. He said, “it must be difficult seeing our faces day and night. Torturing yourself isn’t going to change anything for us. You’ve apologized; you might as well go figure out your next move.”

I think he’s just sick of seeing me and wants me to leave, but he found a kind way to say it.

But he’s not wrong to assume I have no plan after this. I might head above ground tonight and explore the city a bit, see if anything inspires me. I haven’t breathed spore-free air in what feels like years.

I think I could be okay with not having the sun if I had you. Having neither seems… unfair.

I suppose I deserve a bit of unfair.

_______________

2 months. Some very strange things have happened.

Firstly, I did take that walk. I very purposely avoided the part of the city where I heard you had settled, and then of course wound up walking right past a house that apparently belongs to your sister. I thought she was you for a moment and my heart stopped. Metaphorically, anyway.

I don’t love how much it destroyed me looking through a window and seeing someone I thought was you holding a child and kissing a spouse. Which is to say that it completely destroyed me even as it made me happy seeing you apparently happy.

I’m adding this experience to my list of reasons why forming attachments with other people is actually a bad idea and never worth it. I also have a list of reasons why attachments are good and worth it every time, which has only ever consisted of one item, which is your name. The good list wins every time, a fact which has also made its way to the bad list. No one person should have that much power!

If I’m not allowed to ascend, you’re not allowed to make me love you. It’s just as bad. You're drunk with power, darling, and it's time someone called you out on it.

Gods, you’ve completely distracted me from my point. Anyway, after I finally remembered that 2 months would not have been long enough for you to grow and birth and raise a toddler, and after I looked into the window once more and realized your sister does not actually look much like you at all, and also after I looked at the mailbox and saw your second name with a different first name, I pieced things together. Not quickly enough to keep your family from noticing the crazed vampire staring in their window, I’m sorry to say. Do give them my regards.

But after that, I ran into someone I recognized from the palace. One of the butlers, I think, or a general thrall. He was so excited to see me that he stopped me in the middle of the street and started calling me “Master” and babbling about having the carpets cleaned, so I said “strange man, what the hells are you talking about??” And he told me I was the most senior spawn still living and as such… have inherited the estate.

Now, I know this is difficult to believe given my refined manners and, well, my hair, but I’ve never actually owned a palace before. Much less one where I was trapped and tortured for a couple centuries. It’s a complicated situation. Everything is still very much in the air, but I wanted to tell you, and this is how I tell you things now. I will update you once I have an update.

_______________

I adopted a cat. I ran into Halsin on one of his supply runs into the city and he had His Majesty from Last Light with him. Apparently His Majesty had been picking fights with children (and more power to him, I’m sure you’d say), and I remembered his regal little face and volunteered to take him in without a second thought.

We are still… feeling each other out. But I gave him his own room in the estate, which I think he appreciated. The cat, I mean. Halsin doesn’t get a room.

I also do not have a room in the estate, as I am unwilling to set foot inside the building until it has been completely gutted and cleaned and the dungeons walled off permanently. Strangely enough, our old friend Barcus sent me a great team of his people to handle the renovations. Demolitions, as you can imagine, have been smooth, if a bit too enthusiastic. The gnomes have also been very nice about the whole vampire thing and willing to work nights whenever I need to be there to make decisions.

On a related note, I’ve added another item to the long list of crimes Cazador committed: laying carpeting over completely gorgeous vintage wood flooring! Murder and torture is bad, but that’s a whole other level. Thank the gods we got that criminal off the streets.

(Did you notice I wrote his name out? And then made a little joke? I think I’m rather proud of myself for that)

For the first time I’m glad we’re spending this time apart, because truly all I can talk about is tiles and paint samples and upholstery and you’d probably stake me within a couple days of being in my presence and it would be absolutely justified.

I ache for you.

_______________

3 months.

I have been thinking about my lists. I think, perhaps, it’s a lot of pressure to put on someone, making them the sole positive attachment in your life.

I say this because I’ve been spending time with His Majesty to help him acclimate, and a gnome worker commented the other day that I’m the only living creature this cat will tolerate. It made me so sad, thinking of this lovely, affectionate cat who is only ever lovely and affectionate with me. Everyone else’s experience with him will always be negative. I’ll be the only one who’s sad when he dies, and people won’t even be sympathetic to me because they’ll think, well, he wasn’t very nice anyway, good riddance.

It seems like we at least owe it to our loved ones not to leave them alone with their grief when we die.

And no, my love, I did not see the parallels to any vampire with which we are acquainted, at least not until Halsin came by to check on him on his way out of town and I gave him this whole monologue. And then he just sort of stood there looking at me until he very gently hinted that perhaps there are other people who would be willing to love the cat “if he’d just show them his belly instead of his claws.”

At that point I just thought he was hitting on me, but after he explained a little further I finally got what he was trying to say.

Which is how I ended up wine drunk with Halsin last night. We have… a surprising amount of things in common. It was disconcerting.

He also offered me some sort of mysterious substance from his pipe which I politely declined, and it was only after this that he told me a friend of his had smoked it just the night before and it had sent them into a panic attack. So if Halsin ever offers you his pipe, darling, just say no. Given your already nervous constitution, and I say this with love, you’d be absolutely fucked.

Speaking of drunk! You may be wondering how I’ve been keeping myself fed. Some of the Sharess employees have picked up on the increased demand from all these newly-free vampires and have started offering blood drinking as a service, but I’m hesitant to drink from another humanoid. My siblings think I’m being a stick in the mud, but I’ve heard them talking about people they’ve tasted and none of them sound anywhere close to the experience of drinking from you. I feel as if I’ve only ever tasted the most exquisitely aged brandy and I’m being offered tiefling wine as a replacement. I just think it would break my heart.

That said, non-vermin animals have offered a surprising range of flavors. I’ve found I’m partial to owlbears. Something about the risk makes them taste better, I think. Sort of earthy and vegetal? Not bad. In the alcohol metaphor this would be something akin to a local brew. Still a downgrade, but different enough that it doesn’t sting as much.

My good list has 3 names now, by the way: you, Halsin (this was a wine decision, but I’m allowing it for now), and His Majesty.

_______________

4 months? I think?

Listen darling, I’ll just get this out of the way: I’ve had many glasses of brandy. What’s that you say? How many is many? I stopped counting at six, my dear!

You know sometimes I think, absence is absence makes the heart grow fonder. And then I think of you, my blossom, my peach, my absolute tadpole (workshopping that one but i like it), and I think, well fuck. Maybe I’m making it up, maybe she’s not as wonderful as I remember?

And so I thik of all your worst qualities, and I concentrate so hard on them, and my love, my petal, my sweet corn, do you know what happens then? I can’t even think of any

OH wait, that’s not true. That thing when you talk and you have a bubble in your throat that you haven’t swallowed and your voice comes out weird and it makes me want to set myself on fire

Also you’re so hard on yourself, it drives me up an absolute wall. I just want to grab your shoulders and shake you and yell “be nice to my girlfriend”

And then grab other things and shake them…?

I’m far too drunk to be seductive, but just imagine me saying some absolutely filthy things in your ear right now in that voice you like. YOU KNOW THE ONE. Gods, I can’t wait to use it on you again.

I just waaaaant. I want you here so bad all the time.

I want your smell and your touch and your skin and your everything everywhere on me and around me

And… in me? Cheeky, darling. I’m not saying no, but now’s hardly the time

Love and like and cherish and worship and want, a.

_______________

No one has ever felt this ill before and no one ever will again.

I refuse on principle to take back anything I wrote last night, but let’s all agree to forget the corn thing, shall we?

And that cheeky bit at the end–really very unbecoming of you to take advantage of an incapacitated elf like that. Again, I’m not saying no, just. The timing really makes me think less of you, love.

_______________

To be honest, darling, I’m running out of things to say. Six months is a month away and I’m trying so hard not to just watch the clock all day (well, all night).

Has this time been worth it? Nothing is worth this, but if I put aside the heartache, it’s been amazing. I truly never thought I’d be able to become… whoever it is I’ve become.

When the tadpole happened, I saw hope for the first time. I thought I’d finally have control over my life if I had control over the tadpole. If I had control over everything. I honestly never saw another way.

It’s a testament to you that you saw all of this coming from the beginning. You looked at me, this open wound oozing hurt and fear and anger, and you saw a person. You thought I was funny (admit it) and clever, and worth getting to know.

You gave me the space to say no to you, and loved me regardless.

I don’t think I’m nearly as powerful without you, darling. But over these months I’ve accomplished things I’m proud of all on my own, which is fairly unprecedented.

I’m beside myself with excitement to see you again, to give you a tour of this place. You’ll like what I did in the bedroom. And that’s not even a line, I genuinely think you’ll appreciate the color palette! It reminds me of you.

And maybe if you like it we can engage in some mutual appreciation, if you know what I mean.

I don't, but maybe you do. My pickup lines have gone all to shit without you, my muse.

My good list has several names on it now. Yours is still at the top. But you're not the sole thing keeping me afloat anymore. I thought that would make me feel distant from you in some way. I never realized it would give me even more space to appreciate you for who you are instead of what you provide.

Knowing I don’t need you gives me more room to want you, I think.

Anyway, I’m not sure I have another one of these installments in me. Thank you for reading this far, if you have. The version of you who is sitting at your kitchen table reading this (that’s a guess but wouldn’t it be funny if it was right?) has been my companion for all these months, and I cherish her as I cherish every other version of you.

A.

_______________

Sending this today.

I want to be clear, I don’t expect anything. I didn’t ask you to wait around pining for me for all this time, and I wouldn’t have wanted that anyway.

So if you’ve moved on, if you’re happier where you are, if getting this letter ruins your day–it’s alright. I will miss you, maybe forever, but I have friends and a new line of work and a handsome son (to be clear I’m referring to His Majesty, I didn’t give birth since the last time I wrote). All of these things will keep me afloat.

However, if your heart and your life still have room for me, and if you think I would improve them with my presence, I will be overjoyed to share all of these things with you.

I want to meet your sister and hear you try to make conversation with her toddler. I want to show you everything I’ve done to update the estate, and I want you to make it feel like home just by being there. I want to hear all of your thoughts on Jaheira and Nine-Fingers and speculate on their love life.

I want it all, and I want it all with you.

See you soon, my love.

[spideyhexx]

bull run review hot off the press!

okay, so, it was a lot of fun. i'm not really sure how to get into this but it is definitely a finance movie. there was a lot of business jargon that took some getting used to, but it was also pretty fast paced so it all just sort of glossed over really needing to know what they were talking about. (and as the director/writer said after the film, it really isn't necessary to understand the technicalities).

the next big thing i need to mention is the editing. holy sound effects batman! there's a lot of cutting to stock-esce footage and sound effect over sound effect and sometimes absurd editing and cutting. but besides being a little jarred in the beginning not knowing what i was getting into i think it really worked for what they were trying to show here.

i just can't tell you how wonderful it is to see tom on a giant screen again, i missed this. having tom talk to you for an hour and a half was glorious! gah his voice ☺️🥰 it was very ferris bueller-esce in that way. also he says fuck quite a bit in this film and that was a wonderful treat haha

but it wasn't just bobby (tom's character) who i liked, i grew to really generally enjoy the other characters in the movie. tom has a lot of funny moments of like jim from the office looks to the camera or through his 4th wall breaking, but there are also some really funny moments from all the characters

side note: my fav side character was farouk played by ashwin gore. so keep an eye out for him, he was hilarious. (also the actor showed up to the screening in-character and it was genuinely one of the funniest things ever. he did a song where he mentioned "where is tom blyth" and the little audience waved flashlights.)

anyways, i think there's also a lot of good fic potential for this character, i really want to explore MORE with him. especially since this was more of a fast paced comedy and not like a character exploratory piece

OH ALSO, i really wish they had kept the og title "discussion materials" especially bc it is mentioned in the film several times and i think it would've been a neater bow than bull run.

(sorry this was so long lol)

DONT APOLOGIZE FOR IT BEING LONG I APPRECIATE THIS SO DAMN MUCH YOURE AN ANGEL AND I HOPE YOU HAD THE BEST TIME

yeah it seemed like smth that would be fast paced and glad to hear you don't need to really dwell on the jargon, that's honestly how im feeling reading the book like it's littered with so much jargon but you don't necessarily need to know what it all means

interesting about the editing??? that sounds like it fits the vibe though, im very curious!

thank you for confirming he says fuck a lot, that's actually vital AND SEEING HIM ON THE BIG SCREEN AGH im so happy you got to see it anon!!!!

WHERE IS TOM BLYTH ARE YOU KIDDING GHUFGHUKJG thats so silly i love that, will def be watching for that character too

jim from the office comparison best thing you could have said dear god

and interesting about the title!!! I think bull run honestly works better cause it's quick and punchy so I get why they would change it, but from what you said, I get you

FIC POTENTIAL IS GREAT yk we will explore bobby, I will even if only four of us are writing him lmao

ANON THANK YOU AGAIN I HOPE IT WAS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE i really need this movie soon I am so excited

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 113

A five hour episode? Oh yeah, that means it's gonna be a serious one. I'm already nervous ...

What the hell is this? Oh dear gods this is bizarre ... Sam, you are a strange one ... okay, I'm sorry, watching Robbie through this bit is SO WILD ... his expressions are always so priceless ... and suddenly it's all like THIS ... weird shit ... that one was ... just ODD ...

Critmas music? Interesting ...Sam: "SOME of us can sing!" Yeah ...

"Secrets in your boxers?" Please, I never have to hear that line uttered ever again. Like EVER. Please ...

So we're still in the company of Vox Machina? Okay, then ... wonder if this might be their very final adventure together? It worries me, knowing what they're going up against ...

Meanwhile Scanlan has to let his current crew down easy ... wait ... YOU DID WHAT, Scanlan? O.O Samuel Tiegle, DO NOT do that to us ... we know this gnome is a little bit of a wrong-un, but he's never been THAT wrong ...

"Keg"? Oh, so we're introducing a character JUST to send them off? Interesting ... yeah, I figured Grog would probably like Kent ... wow, this bunch are just a bunch of frat boys, ain't they?

Who gave Sam coconut shells? Ye gods ...

Good point ... IS THIS the new Scanlan Shorthalt? Is he staying like this? Would it be easier for him to change back, or is there time for him to change back?

Now we're having a conversation about Scanlan pooping. I love these people so much ... XD

He has ZERO Dexterity? Hmmmm ... maybe we should rethink this after all ...

Grog can make him some horse boots? Oh, that sounds like fun ...

Yes. Time to go. Going through a tree, then. Back to Vasselheim. This is getting to be a second home for them now, isn't it?

Checking in for the night, then. Okay ...

Catching up, then? Oh, Keyleth and Percy ... I mean, yeah, these two have been together the longest, haven't they? The best of besties, I've missed this ... but yeah, also ... very heartfelt, of course ... they do need this ...

I love how Percy calls Keyleth "an investment in their children's future" ... that could sound a bit weird coming from anybody else. With these two it's just CUTE ... :3

Trinket? Oh, okay ... WHICH one is this? Is it the original? Oh my gods IT IS ... O.O ... poor ancient bear ...

Ah ... yes ... the Vax situation ...

Only Vex could wish ill on the Matron and actually GET AWAY with it ... XD

Awwwww ... sweet old bear cuddle-buddy ... I imagine he's quite stinky, but it's still sweet ...

Oh my gods ... is Scanlan trying for a booty call? With GROG asleep in the room? This could be interesting ... oh, okay ... wow, yeah, she's just LETTING HIM HAVE IT, isn't she? Don't go easy on him, Pike! He doesn't deserve it!

Meat Man Imports & Sexports ... snort ... LOL

He's being relegated to AN EXTRA BED?!!! Oh my ...

Grog pretending to sleep fools NOBODY. I love it.

Boy, that is an AWKWARD sleeping arrangement for a centaur, clearly ...

Wow, Cerkonos is kind of a secret Scanlan superfan, that's hilarious. "the Scanman"? Oh my fucking gods ... LOL

Early morning arrives ... okay ...

Travis just rolled a lethal death roll for Chetney! O.O But he's GROG right now ... does it count? Somewhere on Ruidus Chetney just felt a chill run down his spine like somebody walked over his grave, I swear ...

The various preparations of the arrayed forces, getting ready for the day ahead ... hmmmmmmmm ...

Nice, so the Pale Guard are basically like Sharp's Rifles? That's pretty cool, I can't deny ...

A summons for Kiki? Okay, then ...

Massive brass-scaled dragon? Oh yeah, awesome ...

The Stratos Throne? Really? That's a big deal ... O.O ... AND Aeshanandoor? Don't those guys HATE each other right now? Interesting they're playing nice for the effort ...

Oh yeah, EVERYBODY'S here right now ... it's a big deal all right ...

Lieve'tel? Oh ... OH, a guest? OH OKAY!!! LIam's back! So THIS is who he's playing ...

Nice ... so we got a real badass super-goth elven dominatrix type helping them out in this one, then? Nice ... yeah, this is a great one for Liam to play, definitely ...

So she already knows Bertrand's gone? Yeah, okay ...

Yeah, so please be aware I haven't had a chance to get round to The Search For Grog or The Search For Bob yet, so I'm NOT familiar with this particular character ... but she seems REALLY COOL ...

Wow ... yeah, she's just REALLY INTENSE, isn't she? Like I said, I'm really liking her already ...

Judicators? Oh, okay then ... nice to have them on OUR SIDE for once ...

Ophera? Cool ... yeah, she's really cool too ... and THIS is a very neat trick, too ... yeah, she's definitely a whole lot better at big entrances than Keyleth ...

Celestials? SERIOUSLY?!!! Holy fuck! O.O Oh yeah, this is just ALL the big guns right now!

Oh okay ... Keyleth's turn to make a fancy speech? Hmmmm ... PLEASE roll good for this delivery, Marisha ... Matthew, you are NOT doing anything for our girl's confidence right now ... oh yes, nice going, Vex ... that's JUST what she needs right now ...

Yeah ... okay, that's a strong start already ... yes. YES. Nice. That's it. Be a woman for the people. And ... "FUCK SHIT UP!!!" Oh boy ... XD ... yeah, that's more like it ... THAT'S our girl. :3

A single raven? Oh my gods ...

Inspirational Leader? Nice ... oh yeah, that is REALLY nice! Way to go, Kiki!

Nice to have a broomstick handy for running speedy errands ...

And now it's a massive SILVER dragon ... okay ... O.O

Allura! Yay! Always nice to see her! :3

Oh, so they're going in via skyship? Cool. I wonder which one THEY'RE gonna ride in on? What are the chances, hmmm? Or might that be a little TOO on the nose?

Well yeah, I mean Grog would've been FINE with just jumping headfirst into a crazy suicide attack like that, but ...

Yeah, probably best to leave Trinket behind for this one ...

Speak With Animals! Yay! Awwwwww ... and OF COURSE he still wants to go with her ... he's so sweet ... and yeah, he's still tough, of course he is ... all right, let the ancient bear come ...

Thank fuck Sam isn't ACTUALLY drinking out of that horrific looking thing, that is UNSIGHTLY!!! Travis: "It's like melted plastic mixed with decay!" Sweet fuck that is NIGHTMARE FUEL ... Sam: "I mean it's been cleaned, like, A LOT, but it hasn't worked!"

"Battlestar season 3"? Okay ... yeah, so they're all just going STRAIGHT INTO that shit, then ... so a retroactive Heroes' Feast is probably a good idea, then ... yeah ...

Wow ... yeah ... D&D maths ... always fun ...

Oh ... so Cerkonos LIKES Lieve'tel? Okay, then ... so no matter what, Robbie's just DETERMINED to romance Liam's characters, clearly ... XD

Fucking hell ... Grog has around THREE HUNDRED HIT POINTS right now? O.O Sweet fuck ...

Archivist Seth Domade? Okay, then ... yeah, this just got interesting ... I mean OF COURSE he's curious about what's happening with the Nein AND the Hells ... oh yeah, our boy is FLUSTERED right now ... Essek, be cool right now, boy ...

Holy shit ... HOW LONG did it take them to realise that this is Essek in disguise? DEAR FUCKING GODS, people! LOL You do know you spent TWO WHOLE SESSIONS traveling with this guy ...

Verin Thelyss? Oh, interesting ... are they related? THEY ARE?!!! So this is Essek's BROTHER? Intriguing ...

Oh, so he's a little bit of a geek? I like that. That's quite adorable. And I think he might be a little sweet on Vex ...

Ah, poetry... yeah ... LOL

Allura informs us the Nein and the Hells are now IN POSITION on Ruidus ... okay, then ... time to make a move, then ...

Matt: "The symbol of war has been triggered." Oh my ...

Fuck ... PLEASE let Percy and Vex get back alive to their kids.

The hoof boots? And somehow Travis rolls a 24 on his performance for their construction ... holy shit ... apparently they're completely PERFECT ... O.O

More Percy and Keyleth cuteness ... :3

Power Word Fortify ... and Death Ward? Lieve'tel bestows MASSIVE magical gifts upon Kiki and Vex ... and then she just goes RIGHT AHEAD and makes the first move on Cerkonos. Awwwwwww ... and he HAS to make it awkward. But she likes it ... XD

I fucking knew it ... OF COURSE they're riding with Xandis. LOL ... I love this ridiculous tiefling so much, I swear ...

So ... a fuckton of arcane portals, then ... this is it ...

"Majestic as fuck" ... Grog's awesome cape ... in his own words, of course ... XD

Awwwwwww ... Bertrand, we miss you still, you fantastic old bugger ...

So ... through into clustered shadow ... all right, what have you got in store for us, Matthew? O.O

Oh okay, that's a dramatic mess we're flying into ... and that's it, the first shots come in ... yup, that's it, it's all kicking off ...

Strength saves all round? Okay, first real rolls of the night! Roll good, guys! 33? Holy fuck, Grog ... he's stupid strong even now ...

Three crooked winged creatures coming out of the sky? Oh boy ... FUCK Vex is still a thoroughly EVIL shot ... Hunter's Mark that shit, girl! Yeah!

So Scanlan and Grog are the most prominent targets? SHIT ... I mean OF COURSE Grog succeeds his strength check, but Scanlan is now being CARRIED OFF by one of these things! Shit! O.O

Percy: "Drop the horse!" And yeah, No Mercy's still just as lethal a shot as the Missus ... BOOM!!! And the centaur is free once more ...

Path To the Grave? Fuck, Lieve'tel is a bit SCARY in combat ...

Kiki tries a Whirlwind attack on them ... yup, that proves impressively effective ... fuck, that thing just got PUMMELLED ... right into Grog's reach ... he swings his Bloodaxe TWICE ... and just SHREDS the beastie ...Oh yeah, that's TOTALLY the HDYWTDT ... fucking hell, he just EVISCERATES this thing ...

Oh yeah! Silver Dragon for the WIN!!! Nice one ...

Keyleth tries to take a look over the side and just gets BLINDED by flying dust ... yup, that's a bout right ...

Ah, so ... still a way to go, yet ...

Shit! DODGE!!! QUICK!!!

Well that was close ... and sounds like it could've been SERIOUSLY HAIRY if it had hit ... and then we see it hit another ship ... and it just NEUTRALISED the brumestone? FUCK!!! That's SO FUCKING BAD!!! Yeah, don't let ANY of THAT shit hit you, guys!

Air Ashari FLY!!! Oh, and Cerkonos can do that too? Oh, he can do ALL the elelments like Kiki? Sweet! So he's going too, then ... go help! Quick! Save who you can!

Yes! Save Verin Thelyss! Quick!

Oh nice! That's some SEXY FLYING there, Vex!

Okay, looks like this might be working ... and SOMEHOW they BARELY miss taking another hit ... get them off as fast as you can, guys!

Inspire THEM, not HIM! Pronouns, Scanlan! And somehow Sam makes a really embarrassing (and very classic Shorthalt piece of work) strangely inspiring for Xandis ...

Yeah, that's some pretty sweet flying, you spectacular tiefling!

Wow ... that was just a BEAUTIFUL save ... yeah, they got 'em off safe, just in time ... meanwhile the faling ship goes down SPECTACULARLY ...

Time to get ready to JUMP? All right, then ... GO!!!

Blessing of the Dawnfather? Oh, that's pretty sexy too ... I didn't even know Vex had that one in her! O.O

Thank fuck for Featherfall ...

Grog and Pike are getting SHOT AT?!!! Fuck ... O.O ... Word of Radiance? Yeah, that's a nice save, Lieve'tel! JUST too late, but still ... so Pike manages to dodge, but Grog takes a full-on HIT ... crap ... but he's Raging, so it's not TOO BAD ... but that's STILL a whole lot of Force damage even so ... and that's one ROUGH FUCKING LANDING ...

Oh, so it's already ALL GOING OFF in this place? Okay then ...

Cerkonos shows he's as much of a badass as the others as he comes down ... and yeah, that poor bastard is impaled and INCINERATED ... meanwhile our boy achieves a perfect superhero landing ...

Wait ... so the gunner is LITERALLY PONDERING THEIR ORB?!!! XD

No Mercy Percy strikes again!

Touchdown, then! They're on the ground and taking in what's going on now ... oh yeah, this is just pure fucking CHAOS right now ... the batle is just full-on KICKING OFF ... and THIS is where Matt chooses to call a break ...

Holy shit ... that is a MASSIVE Battlemap this time round ... yeah, the appreciative gasps and roars as they wander mback in to take it in are duly ENTHUSIASTIC, and rightly so ...

Setting up where everybody is ... and it's all just pure CHAOS right now, clearly ...

Oh, so now Keyleth's a FIRE elemental? Matt scrambles to acquire ANOTHER figure to represent her ...

So it's time, then. ROLL INITIATIVE!!!

Vex kicks it all off, then ... she casts a 4th Level Hail of Thorns, with her Blazing Bowstring and Sharpshooter ... wow ... that's a monster combination if ever I heard one ... so she goes for a Reiloran Juggernaut! Nice ... fuck, that's a lot of damage, plus it definitely rings his bell for him ... meanwhile all the regular guys surrounding him are just ANNIHILATED ... ouch ... so she takes ANOTHER shot ... oh yeah, she is SUPREMELY fucking this guy up ...

Scanlan clops up on his coconuts and Inspires Cerkonos ... with a bit of Chappell Roan? Nice ... :3 ... Reverse Gravity? Oh, that's DEVIOUS ... Out of the whole group only ONE manages to make a save so now there's a whole bunch of guys just FLOATING UP INTO THE SKY!!! Holy shit ...

Wow, those Kryn fighters are just BADASS, they're cutting folk TFU ...

Percy steps over the wall and encounters his first Reiloran ... oh, that's nice, so his walking stick turned into a brutal little MURDER BATON ... he shakes off the attempt to fry his brains with psychic energy and slashes them up ... it's hurt, but it's TOUGH, looks like this one's going to take some work ... oh, but his sword has A GUN IN IT ... Matt: "Go go gadget Pepperbox!" POW!!! Now the Reiloran is BURNING!!!

Grog charges up to the guy who's trying to hang on ... and manages to get HIMSELF caught in the spell? Shit! Somehow he manages to catch hold of himself, at least ... and takes a few big hacks at the other guy ... Great Weapon Master? Oh boy, here we go ... oh yeah, Grog kills the guy ON THE SPOT and then he just pinwheels up into the air spraying his insides all over as he goes! Ye gods! O.O

Keyleth jumps from one platform to the next, starts laying about with her fists, the burning Reiloran instantly incinerating under her pummelling onslaught! Oof ... then she runs off in the direction they need to go, setting another attacker on fire as they try to strike at her while she goes.

Lieve'tel summons a Planar Ally, specifically a massive white three-headed raven (literally Holy fuck!), then Tolls the Dead, aiming for the Juggernaut ... and that's a wrap on the big guy! HIs head essentially EXPLODES inside his helmet ... fucking hell ... so she just goes riding off on her big birdy, going to hover over Keyleth.

Oh great ... Scanlan is now being SWARMED by Slithers ... O.O ... oh yeah, they're just GNAWING on him right now! Fuck ... thankfully only TWO of them do any actual damage, but still ...

Crap ... what's this? Oh, I get it, that mut be one of those hive-mind psychic mothers ...

Meanwhile those poor bastards spinning in the air just CONTINUE to spin in the air ... XD ... crap ... now Keyleth is as well, unfortunately ...

Pike chucks a 5th Level Guiding Bolt at the Ball ... okay, this is it, then ... 22 points of damage? Hmmmm ... it CRACKS, but it's still definitely very INTACT ... nuts ...

Cerkonos screams: "Scanman! NOOOOOOO!!!" leaps into the air and casts Wall of Fire around Scanlan, torching the Slithers attacking him. Three of them are reduced to cinders, and the rest are at least SEVERELY charred ... then he just BAMFS next to Pike ...

Vex takes a shot at the Ball, using Sharpshooter ... NAT20!!! Yes! Crit that bitch! Oh, that's a whole lot more cracks in it now ... but she's just got herself directly MARKED by whatever that force is overlooking it ... but her SECOND shot SHATTERS the Ball on the spot! YESSSSSSS!!!

Scanlan casts Thunderwave as 2nd Level, trying to bash some of the Slithers off ... he turns two of them into jelly on the spot! Meanwhile he drops his spell ... and everybody up in the air too! Grog manages to avoid getting crushed, while all but two of them just go SPLAT when they hit the ground around him. Meanwhile Scanlan disengages, trying to use Cutting Words to get rid of the remaining Slither still grappling him ... and breaks free! Phew ...

Fucking hell ... what fresh hell is THIS?!!! O.O ... a battle vidulch? Oh my gods that is fucking TERRIFYING!!! Oh shit, TWO OF 'EM?!!! Shit! They start laying about and IMMEDIATELY start doing major damage to friends and foes alike ...

Shit ... in a single turn, the attacking vidulch manages to COMPLETELY DESTROY Keyleth's Fire Elemental form ... O.O

Percy opens fire with Animus on some of the Vanguard, only for his gun to blow up in his hands! Ouch ... repairing iton the spot, he starts firing again, wiping out one in the process.

Grog uses his Boots (not BOOBS) of Feral Leaping to mount the nearst vidulch, then starts swinging blows into it with his axe ... oh yeah, he's just CHOPPING CHUNKS out of this thing! It's trying to shake him off but he's definitely cutting his way into it already.

Oh no, bad ideas are never REALLY bad ideas ... Keyleth attempts to Dominate the vidulch in front of her? Holy fuck ... O.O ... that's the question, IS IT a beast or is it a MONSTER? She can't tell ... so she tries a Firestorm instead! Oh boy ... whoa, SEVEN D10 of Fire damage? Holy shit ... 48 Fire damage? Wow ... it hurts the vidulch, as well as incinerating a bunch of Reilora and Vanguard. Unfortunately she also takes out three Kryn soldiers with friendly fire ... oof ... then she transforms into an Earth Elemental and burrows down under the ground, coming up on the other side of the vidulch.

DEVILS? Seriously? Is this good or bad? Wait ... who's this ... holy fuck is that OPAL?!!! Fucking hell, my girl you're terrifying but also pretty awesome right now! She doesn't do any real damage, but she's still laying into the vidulch with some serious SAVAGERY!!!

Lieve'tel holds onto a Bless, waiting for her opportunity, aiming for Opal, Keyleth and herself.

Okay, now Grog is having a scrap with the Juggenaut on the back of the vidulch ... unbelievable! Oh hell, this big boy is definitely laying into him HARD right now ... and it has a Telekinetic Combo? Shit ... Grog hangs on, but it definitely batters him about ... so he just starts giving right back just as hard as he's taken ...

Pike chucks a Guiding Bolt at the vidulch at 4th Level, blasting it hard with a good chunk of Radiant damage. Staying put, she's immediately swarmed by a bunch of nasties, but she just batters them all off ...

Cerkonos, impressed by Scanlan's actions, turns himself into a Fire Elemental and funnels himself INTO THE ARMOUR of the nearer vidulch, setting it on fire FROM THE INSIDE!!! Holy shit!

Vex coasts over and starts peppering Pike's attacker with her arrows, wiping him out on the spot. Then she turns round and starts taking potshots at the vidulch, taking some of its legs out from under it.

Scanlan rushes up to the aid of the nearest angel, talling them: "I'm here to help!" before VOMITING Lightning at the nearer vidulch! O.O

Brass wings? Oh sweet! Here they come! Beautiful! Devossa strafes the devil and the vidulch with their fire, but since they're both immune to fire it does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ... hmmmmm ... somewhat inticlimactic ...

Grog takes a big swing at the Juggernaut and just ANNIHILATES the fucker on the spot! Then he leaps off and goes for the Reiloran instead, using Great Weapon Master ... oh yeah, here we go ... yeah, he just SPLITS THE GUY IN HALF!!! He yanks out the spine from the bisected corpse as he walks away ...

Oh, okay ... yeah, due to retrospective thinking, Grog also manages to finish off the vidulch just before he jumps off ... okay, yeah, there we go, then! Meanwhile Scanlan congratulates CERKONOS for doing it? Hmmmm ...

Keyleth Calls Lightning at 4th Level, landing it right into the remaining vidulch ... oooh, dice math ... 27 points of Lightning damage ... yeah, it's looking pretty messy now ...

Okay, looks like everybody's just trying to kill this thing all together ... meanwhile more Vanguard are arriving! Shit ...

Oh, so Pike just got rescued by a demon? That must be weird for her ... especially when it growls: "Go, small god!" at her ...

Yeah, Opal just becomes TERRIFYING as she jumps on the vidulch, webs it up and then CARVES IT TO PIECES ... O.O ... holy shit ...

Time to book, then? Okay ... they all bundle together and rush into the centre of the fortress, heading for the Malleus Key ... and that's it for the night! Yeah, that's a good place to stop. I was getting pretty exhaunsted, that was a HEAVY SESSION ... but also a very satisfying one ...

[eemcintyre]

"Seawolf: The Pirate's Curse" (2005) review

Surprisingly, honestly... why did I enjoy this? I guess after a couple of major misses for me in the form of "The Kidnapping" and "Beyond Forgiveness", my expectations were appropriately low, but this one actually had some likable characters and humor, and that always manages to rope me in. I have a soft spot for fun, silly action fare like this bc of childhood shows like "The Greatest American Hero", I think.

So, the title never makes any sense... what was it supposed to mean? what curse?

First and foremost, I must say TIG is looking oh-so-very pretty and rugged here- the necklaces, the bandanas, the curly-q hair, the tank tops, the sweaty, the ARMMMSSSS 😩

Initially had absolutely no clue what was going on in the beginning; a bunch of people with weird ass outfits in the dark and I was just like please no don't let that be him in the damn fucking cape and eyepatch and o n e l e g; I was like he can't possibly have one leg the whole time, right?? 🤨

But yeah I was definitely experiencing the "dear God what did I get myself into, cheers to another awful mess" 🫡🥂

Why does half the audio sound dubbed (particularly everything that comes out of Rachel's mouth)? Also props to Rachel for being the most emotionally unaffected person ever bc her reactions were so disproportionately calm to what would happen if my bf was constantly disappearing overseas and totaled my gorgeous pink car

We're getting some very Max Parrish-type hooting and hollering up in here; a concise summary of Thorpe is that he's basically if Max had a boat and was an alcoholic instead of a drug addict

We get another hallmark of TIG's movies with a slew of incredibly cringe one-liners that elicit a physical reaction of pain from me, but for every few there was actually a genuinely funny one here and there, so I'll allow it this time...

The whole "I'm a pirate, my father was a pirate, etc." speech had me ROLLING and NOT IN THE WAY THE WRITERS INTENDED I THINK BC HUH??

When he met Helene in that random room full of paintings I was sure we were supposed to take it that the mission was smth art theft-related. but no she just has a passion for maximalist design ig.

Why does the camera get randomly shaky for no reason? Very avant-garde of them

Am I the only one who thinks that Carlos looks like a Walmart George Clooney? Someone else pls tell me I'm not insane

Always throws me off-guard but it's such fun to see TIG in an uncharacteristically light scene like the one where he's dancing in the parade and surrounded by the circle of dancers in the bar. At least he seemed like he was having a good time in this movie 🎉

Ramon and his lil book and the bar scene of Thorpe and Helene drunkenly arguing w each other and sitting on the side of the road was what really started to sell me

anD THEN HE FKIN DR A G S HER ASS 😂

Plus I cannot go without mentioning my appreciation for the way he was holding her knee 👀💕

Love how he spends the majority of this movie just dressed like someone's hot dad who works out, in his cargo shorts, tank top and goatee- oH WAIT IT'S BC HE IS A HOT DAD WHO WORKS OUT IN REAL LIFE

Love how Carlos and all the other villains are devoid of personality or motive except for ~money~, like "the Colonel" doesn't even have a name!!!

Was genuinely stressed that my boy was going to clock himself in the head when he was swinging that rope trying to scale that building

When Helene straight-up PUNCHED HER SISTER IN THE FACE like these ladies have some beef and I need to know where it stems from

This film is another great example of TIG's grossly underutilized comedic potential- a là the map reading scene

Hilarious how Carlos just shrugs like "I don't care, whatever I guess" when who he believes to be Marlena says she wants to say a dramatic goodbye to Thorpe

Ok but how did he not die?? Thank goodness but how??

Even more hilarious how the Colonel, who has had nothing but hatred and murderous intent for Thorpe throughout, is just so touched by Thorpe's being a ✨ big softie with morals ✨ that his vengeful compulsions are soothed and he's content with taking the gold like "hey bro, we're square now <3" and just fuckin walks away

Good on them for giving the treasure back to Mexico

Was legit concerned for too long there that they weren't actually going to end up together and I was screeching

DO THEY ACTUALLY USE THE SAME SHOT OF THE BOAT AT SUNSET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOVIE AND AT THE END?? lmaooo

Honestly, I think they could have leaned even more into the humorous aspect and the treasure hunt part of the film; made it a bit more of a National Treasure/Indiana Jones sort of thing, and I definitely would have liked some more character development, esp. for the sidekicks and villains, but overall, I award this film an unexpected 6/10. I had a good time 🙃🩷

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode 51 Notes-

THE INTRO ALREADY IS THE BEST ONE THEYVE EVER DONE EVER

DVER

DAHJKUDGHJJGDTHH

OMG

once made a bill nye song parody for my step dad cause he’s a fire fighter and it was just. Fantastic 

My headphones are not working 😭 

Taylor Teen Fact: Our Taylor Swift would never leave Japan for anybody/any game

Linc Teen Fact: Lincoln only has only one thing on his wall unrelated to soccer “Best son/student award” from Grant and Marco

Scary Teen Fact: Scary doesn’t use an umbrella ever. She looks up at the rain to get the emo mascara smudge 

Normal Teen Fact: The Oak-Garcia families only thing they can agree on is a 60 frames/second motion TV 

Love how much Freddie loves that 

Porn update!!!

Anthony Fact: They’re starting shooting in March!! WILLY STAMPLER AND ANTHONY BURCH IN HIS PORN JESUS CHRIST OMG

Beth… 

This is gonna be good

I’m excited

Lincoln is still trapped :<

Wowwww Taylor and Normal are fighting 

Oh boy

Mercedes my beloved <333

Love how Normal is like “Taylor… Taylor…” like a dog

HERO AAFJHHHGHHHQHAJAHAJSJDJJSSNJSJSN

HERO AHAHAHAHSHSHSBBAJAHAH

I LOVER HER

Taylor and Hero omg….

Hero does Track!!!

I cannot hear the phrase let me cook again after watching Slimecicles one vod omg

Chapperal vs Teen High hehehehe

Track goes through everything fr

Highschool sports are crazy

Hero and Normal the siblings of all time!!!!!

ANGELS COME FOR HERO KABAJAJAJAJAHHAHAHAHAHHA

OMG

The fucking dank memes

Reminds me of this kid in my class holy shit

Larry sounds so excited there “YES! Yes!”

“A phase you go through”

A phrase- a life style 

Oh god

“You’re a very smart kid Larry”

This is bad for scary holy shit

AMRS ICY

IM SCARY

Circle of death holy shit holy shit holy shit ahhajajahshs 

Ha get Willy’s ass

DOOD ON NO

“You got me!”

Oh dear

Sonic mention!!

Jezz ball!!!! I love Jezz Ball

This whole bit was hilarious

SCARY HAS BURN SCARS NOW TOO

HERMIE NORMAL AND SCARY

Linc already is playing with a soccer ball!!!

“I love my parents, I love my spouses. But loves not real so I don’t feel anything at allllllll”

DARRYL

Finger puppet if Carol

This is a craft podcast 

Darryl and Linc interaction is giving me life actually

Glenn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt playing so many characters this is lovely 😭 

LINCS COMPELYE FOXUS ON SOCCER IS ABAIANJAJSND

Freddie has another plan 💀 

Glenn was in prison before!!

Darryl and Glenn…. Holy shit I love them so much

Linc is so funny

There’s no world where it wasn’t a Nat one

Ron!!!!!!!!!!! He’s singing!!!!!! Agajjajajahahsjsh

Ron and Henry!!!

I love the daddies so much

Erin O’Neil!!!!!!!!! My wife!!!!!!!

Operation Black Friday into Heaven

Taylor going through his Anime Villain arc at the end of the season 😭 

Scary and Linc’s soccer thing!!!!!

I missed a bunch

HERMIE!

[knightinink]

7 dip headcanons now (points at you threateningly)

7? You want 7??? Oh hell yeah, starting off with a bang!

-Pip is a snuggler when he sleeps, no doubt about it. Give him a plush or a pillow, or hell, even just his blanket, & he's set to go. Its comforting to him to have something to hold onto while he dozes; makes him feel less alone. While having a sleepover, he informs Damien -quite embarrassedly- that he tends to be "clingy" when he sleeps, & that he'll sleep on the floor while Damien takes the bed. Damien is having none of this, & -just as embarrassed himself- tells Pip that he doesn't mind, & that he practically does the same thing. Next thing ya know, they're passed out in each others arms, content smiles everywhere. (this kinda feeds off my hc that they're always touching in some way, as it's comforting & reassuring to know that the other is there).

-When it comes to nightmares, Pip has them more frequently, especially soon after he died. Memories of his death replayed in his mind enough times to prevent him from sleeping for a few days, but they don’t affect him as much anymore, always having the comfort of the antichrist next to him when needed. Damien will rarely have them, and refuses to discuss them, opting to just hold Pip in his arms until he falls asleep. He later reveals that they’re usually of Pip being torn away from him in a sort of prophecy-esque way, like Heaven forcefully taking back what was meant to be an angel. One night of Damien doing this while he believes Pip to be asleep, he rests his head on the blond’s shoulder and silently cries, begging to the gods to never take him away.

-Surprisingly, Damien is afraid of the dark. He’s so used to there always being fire burning bright in Hell, so his first few nights on the surface had him rigid. Something’s wrong if Hell’s gone dark. Pip grew up not having electricity in Britain, so he’s used to it. He's not so much afraid of the dark as he's afraid of what's in it.

-They both use pet-names, but Damien was a bit hesitant at first. It only took him once of accidently letting “okay honey” slip out once to realize he liked the happy grin on Pip’s face whenever he does so. Pip’s favorites to use include, “dear”, and “love”, but he doesn’t limit himself, and boy he doesn’t hold back either. Pip can get to the point of obnoxiously bad pet-names, if only to annoy Damien a little bit.

-Pip: "Hmm, I wonder what I taste like"

Damien: "I can help with that."

Pip: "*blushes & thinks of a sweet kiss*"

Damien: "*thinks about biting him*"

-One of Damien's favorite games to play is "how many of Pip's thing's can I take before he notices?", & he's gotten quite far with it, sometimes taking up to 2 weeks for the Brit to finally realize something is gone & Damien helps him look for it, before revealing everything in a neat pile stowed away somewhere. He finds this game hilarious until one day he's missing something of his own. He tears the house apart looking for it in a frenzy, until Pip is dangling said item in front of him. "Not so fun when you're on the other end, is it?" Damien has since stopped playing this game.

-Despite their shared fear of the dark & what's in it, they like to go on camping trips together in the forest, not at all far from the edge of Stark's Pond. Pip teaches Damien how to build a campfire, & the demon lights it. They roast marshmallows over their fire, Damien sometimes cooking it himself over his hand, where a small fire crackles. Pip is entranced by his fire magic every single time he sees it, & tells Damien so, flustering him. Sometimes he'll even put on a little light show, just for the two of them. The darkness & sounds of the animals can be off-putting, but as long as they're together, they're alright. Of course, they share a tent for the night, content to sleep cuddled up together.

Thank you so much for the ask, anon!

(& if you'd like to request some dip headcanons, ask away!)

[pitbullwithaship]

DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG S5 EP4

Y'all I miss David Tennant. Like Matt Smith is already great but I'm allowed to miss my current hyperfixation actor okay. Okay. But anyWHO I get to watch so much more Doctor Who even without him yay!

Pretty ambient sounds

Hello dude in the middle of a field with a kiss mark on his face

Oh hello who's here

Is this lady pretty I hope she is she gives pretty vibes

I love museums too Doctor

He's having a lot of fun saying it's all wrong lol

Ooh Home Box

Ooh old high gallifreyan on the Home Box cool mysterious

HELLO SWEETIE

OMG ITS RIVER HELLO RIVER I KNEW THE LADY WAS PRETTY

She's amazing

But also she would be dead Tardis or not that is basically instant death right there

InstaDeath, available now lol

Teaches him about his own ship

Blue Boringers!!

Yknow the "kheee hooo kheee hooo" noise

Aww Amy is hilarious and adorable

Hahahahaha

I love Amy

WEEPING ANGELS HELLO

Know I don't like to say they're asking for it but hey are asking for it

I love Amy lol

It's a DnD campaign that's why

Yknow I should put those pictures on my desktop I've heard people done that

Smells a book

Yeah I should totally make those my desktop wallpaper

I still maintain they would be less creepy if they had pupils

This is so fun

Aw smart Amy!! That was brilliant!

Okay what's in her eye y'all what's gonna happen

That's a lot of statues ugh

Oh is she in prison right now? That's not nice

It keeps being brought up what is in her eye!

IM SORRY THAT WAS GREY WEIRD SAND STUFF

She is good lol

Okay I'm guessing since we're following these soldiers so much they are gonna end up dying

Oof jump scare

Oof another jump scare

Do it scared and all that

Okay so those soldiers are dead then good to know my inferencing skills are strong as ever

Oh shit why don't the statues have two heads

This is scary

Oh shit can they like turn people into weeping angels too or something cuz why do they not have robes and stuff

Okay how is the dead person talking and telling Bob to see something that's creepy

Okay we know Bob's name so maybe he will die too he better not

Okay spoke too soon

Okay so they don't look like angels because they are dying

He doesn't sound scared how is he talking if he's dead

Oh dear

Dude stop guilt tripping the Doctor

Angel Bob lol

I KNEW THEY COULD TURN PEOPLE INTO ANGELS AMYS TURNING TO STONE I DO HAVE A BRAIN

Placebo affect

HEY SHES NOT STONE MAYBE I DONT HAVE A BRAIN

Jump!

OH MY GOD WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE A CLIFFHANGER

[majesticbirdonascooter]

thoughts on hell breaks loose

ok y’all i KNOWWW i’m like a month late but honestly this was a strugglebus for me to read, despite being so short. and normally i whizz through SP books in a day or two, but this was just painful to read. 

tagging @facelessxchurch as i promised to be a massive hater (i hope that’s ok!! :’) and that this lived up to your expectations lolol)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT !!!

starting out with the positives of HBL so i dont look like a COMPLETE hater!! so what i liked:  

the usual SP humour was in there and it’ll never fail to make me laugh

ghastly lore!! finding out about ghastly’s past relationships and his parents!!! 

mev and serpine canonly wearing wigs (& serpine’s wig being snatched) because they may be complete villains but GOD DAMMIT, THEY’RE VILLAINS THAT HAVE AN ✨ AESTHETIC ✨

rima being the best blink-and-you’ll-miss-it new character since phase 1

the saracen vs delicat fight (was hilarious if you look past the chivalry bullshit convo)

seeing mr bliss and meritorious again!!! and just the elders in gen!! they were fucking cool!!

seeing hopeless & him interacting with everyone (we have no choice but to stan) 

dexter vex being dexter vex

now we’re going hater mode and here are all the things i had problems with: 

literally everything else. ok bye

jk 

firstly. where the hell was china/the diablerie???? anyone??? okay now i’ve got that out the way...

terrible writing

Landy’s writing has always been simple but this story is like… simpler than simple. The sentences are also oddly structured and it SEEMS like he tried to give the characters’ speech an old timey vibe but it just comes off as... really awkward sounding.

the battles for this story were unreadable for me, i found myself skipping past them because there was just no substance/detail there, or if there was detail it was just filler (looking at the last fight with the dead men vs mevolent’s gang) 

i just got bored. and i never get bored with an SP book, but 3 chapters in and i left the book for a month before i could read it again, because there seemed to be no plot until the very end.

lack of characterisation

what are the personality traits of ghastly’s mother in this? i couldn’t tell ya. hell, what were the traits of ANY character in this story? what was the point of introducing ghastly’s mum after hyping her up for so many years if you won’t utilise her?

adding onto this, all the characters just read as samey for me, if we took away the names of the characters for dialogue etc i literally would NOT be able to tell who said what, because they all had the same personality.

which brings me to the stone sisters. they had so much potential but they were just SO boring. rapture had 0 personality and i didnt care that ghastly fell in love with her. i don’t even know how he did.

also found it wild that landy is trying to push a (forced) romance between ghastly and rapture. obviously ghastly would have other people he’s interested in before tanith but is it really necessary for a story this short? Like the anselm backstory + his parent’s lore would’ve been enough, the romance didn’t add anything to this shitty story.

valkyrie fuckin’ cain

dear landy, valkyrie cain doesnt have to be in every single story. the plot does not have to revolve around her. this has been a public announcement.

why oh WHY did this bitch rock up out of nowhere halfway through the story? 

in the end it’s not like she even does much. plus if it’s a story ABOUT THE DEAD MEN, keep it about THEM, not her. 

at one part she brags about all of her stupid powers and it’s at this point that i start drinking to forget how awful this story is

most of her conversations are just ripped from the pages of when she spoke to meritorious in the OTHER parallel dimension. what was the point??? 

oh pee pee poo poo angry birds!!!11 

fuck valkyrie cain she should’ve stayed tf out of HBL

other moments from when i live-reacted to this god damn story but can’t be bothered to write about fully:

Already like one page into the book and I feel like the writing is off…? Idk I’ve been reading phase one again recently so mb its just that I forgot what phase 2 writing is like (if HBL is similar writing wise to phase 2?)

Literally two pages in and theres already typos. Someone get this man’s editor an editor.

I dunno I feel like this book is trying too hard but simultaneously not trying AT ALL

Im getting a fucking drink. Maybe that’ll make this bearable.

Im in so much pain reading this book now. And I cant stop cringing. Someone tell me when its over pLEASE

Everyone’s dyng what the fuck

Landy really is obsessed with the “ooo it was all a dream” trope shit and “ooo the timeline that never happened” bullshit huh

And for my final thought:

if the hidden god bullshit is a set up for phase 3 I don’t even WANNA know

[cassiopeiagarcia]

‘For such a clever girl you do a lot of stupid things.’ Her stone-cold words and tone clashing with the crooked smile her lips bent into, Andrómeda was a vision. She had always been, as far as Cass' memory went… which wasn’t too much. Roughly eighty-seven years. She had lived longer than that, twenty-six years longer, in fact, but of that previous life before being bitten by Laszlo Cravensworth, her brother-in-law, and turned into a creature of the night, she had little recollection.

‘Yeah, I admit it wasn’t my best idea.’ Cass’ shrugged, as she shifted uncomfortably in her chair, changing her position because under the stare of her sister’s dark brown eyes, one could stay still for only so long.

She had, not for the first time, decided to terrorize her neighbors. Nothing much. Just used her telekinesis to make a few books fall from the shelves, get their dog to stare at an empty corner of the house and bark and groan and howl for a while. But yeah… since it hadn’t really… been the first time…

‘They’re going to end up calling a priest.’ A thick British accent. Laszlo, entering the room, smiling adoringly towards his wife as if they were still in the honeymoon phase instead of about to celebrate ninety years of marriage. He didn’t sound disappointed, only perhaps… mildly annoyed, but Cass’d bet he was used to her antics after an entire lifetime of putting up with her and Hércules.

‘Noooooo, they won’t. They’re atheists. They’ll probably just… move somewhere else.’

‘Like the previous ones did?’

‘Come on, Lasz! Admit it. It was a little funny.’ Cass tried her best. The same lopsided smile Andro had, but showing her teeth. Like a shark, or a wolf; like a predator. She lifted index and thumb, separating them only by a few millimeters. ‘Hilarious, I’d say.’

‘It was, but…’

‘That’s not the problem, Cass,’ Andro interrupted. She was shaking her head, but she wasn’t angry. More like… worried? ‘We need to keep low. Hércules works in Walmart. Why can’t you…?’

‘I’m not working in Walmart.’

‘No, no, of course not. But maybe… find some hobbies? Try to get out of the house? Hopefully do something that doesn’t involve our possible demise.’

‘Easy to say. You can be here forever and you’ll never get bored.’ Cass looked at Andro. Her older sister was beautiful, tasteful, discreet, elegant, had a refined sense of humor and an eye for business and, even if she was always the brightest star in the room, she never, ever, stole anybody’s entire attention for herself. Everybody loved her. Laszlo most of all. Proof of that were the moans and groans and different sounds of pleasure that flooded their bedchamber every single night. And sometimes, mornings and afternoons, too. 

The black-haired woman looked at the ring that adorned one of her hands. A gigantic diamond, the biggest stone that Cass had ever seen. She was glad Andro was happy. She was glad that they’ll be together as a family forever – literally. She just wished her idea of having fun didn’t clash as much with Lasz and Andro’s. 

She sighed, and, seeing as she wasn’t going to get an answer from neither of her companions, ended up nodding. ‘Sure. I’ll try to keep my torturing to a bare minimum.’

Again, she found herself missing someone. Something. A mask. A white mask with six eyes, that’d cover everything but the lower half of the face of the person wearing it. She didn’t know why, but in the last eighty-seven years, that mask had appeared in her mind time and time again, like a calming balm, like a beacon of sanity, like God’s answer to a prayer. Whenever she thought about it, Cass felt at home. A love so pure that it couldn’t be questioned. Where are you?, she asked, not for the first time.

Could he (she was sure it was a he) hear her? Would he answer, if he did?

*

The letter had arrived a few days after that conversation.

Dear Vampires, from all around the world.

We cordially invite you to a ball, a party, a reunion. It has been far too long since our last meeting in 1965… was it 1965? Ah, how fleeting memories are when you live forever. Anyway, we did think it was time for a réunion, as the French would say. To meet the newest members of our ranks, as well as to resume contact.

Please, confirm your attendance.

Signed,

The Vampiric Council.

‘A party,’ Andro summarized, after reading the letter out loud, with barely contained excitement. Laszlo, with his right arm surrounding his wife’s waist, was also smiling; he smiled whenever she smiled, so that literally said nothing about what he thought of this whole thing. He would have flooded their house with cockroaches, if Andrómeda had said it made her happy.

‘Cool.’ Hércules was a chill, laid-back guy. He was sitting down in one of the sofas in the living room, dressed with wide-leg jeans and a cool graphic t-shirt from some videogame only he knew about, reading a comic book distractedly, one he held between fingers full of rings. None of them silver, of course. 

Cass was the only killjoy. Her immediate response was to pout. ‘I don’t want to go.’

She wished she hadn’t said anything, because suddenly, her family members were looking at her with interrogative eyes.

‘What? I never have a good time. It’s always the same thing,’ She complained, feeling more and more like a toddler about to have a tantrum. ‘I don’t like it. If I hear one more comment about me having weird fangs again…’ 

It was common knowledge that all vampires had different fangs, depending on their bloodline. Andrómeda and Hércules had the same as Laszlo. Because he had been the one to turn them. And, while he had turned Cass too, hers were different; slightly bigger, more animalistic. Why? Nobody knew. But everytime she had met other vampires they had said the same thing: oh, what a strange pair of fangs you have, never seen anything quite like it…

It annoyed her. It made her feel like an outcast.

‘Cass…’ Andro was suddenly by her side. Her movements, fast and quiet. If Cass hadn’t seen her feet touching the ground she would have thought her older sister was levitating. ‘I want you to come. And… you should come, you’ll see Airi. And Aki.’

‘They’re your friends, not mine.’

‘They love you.’

Fine. She loved them too, but to admit it would be to lose what little power she had left.

‘I reaaaaaaally don’t want to go.’

‘Cassiopeia,’ Laszlo only used her full name when he was serious about something. ‘We all want you to come. It wouldn’t be the same without you.’

A small smile, but she still wasn’t fully convinced. Hércules stood up, then, throwing his comic book aside with all the drama and flair he could manage. ‘If you don’t come, I won’t go either, but you know this is probably my only chance to get laid in at least a decade, so…’

That made her laugh, and she ended up nodding, feeling like this was a battle she couldn’t really win. ‘Fine, I’ll go. But only because it’s the only way Hércules can get a potential partner for the night. Can I wear a Halloween mask and scare people?’

‘No,’ Andrómeda said, as stern and loving as only a mother (or a mother figure) could be. ‘But, you can wear one of my dresses.’

[a-la-campanella]

Hoyofair 2024 New Year Program

Timestamps are in the video description, along with English subtitles for (as of now, some) translated lyrics throughout the stream.

Personal thoughts and all that - this program is a mix of both Genshin Impact and Honkai: Star Rail fan works, so I want to talk about both! I'm cherry picking the sections I have comments for, which is most of the program (and nearly all of the first half).

Managing dedication between both games... is pretty time consuming, haha. This is a HSR blog, but I really can't keep Genshin under wraps.

For the first half — Genshin Impact

The opening song is cute. They used both Aether and Lumine, and traveler twin appreciation is always appreciated.

Dive Into The Mystery was a bop! I like the singer's voice and the use of photographs and newspapers to highlight the characters of Fontaine. It gives off a mix of old and modern news. This kind of MV is fun to watch.

KIERU is back with another animation, this time Persona 5 style for the Fatui characters of Fontaine! Rogue on the Rocks is fully voiced, too! They don't miss. Arlecchino is... wow. I love Arlecchino.

The Knave MV: X is dedicated to Arlecchino. The transition from a jazz-y vibe in the previous video to rock sung by NANO threw me off for a bit, but it goes hard. The crying statue of Furina, and references to whoever I assume was meant as a stand-in for the previous Father...

The premise of Cyber Fontaine: The Last Bakery is? Something out there. Xiangling and Navia is not a duo I expected or ever thought about, but they work well together! This was an adventure to watch, blending action, suspense, comedy, hinting at a larger world in Fontaine, and with a satisfying end. The song they play sounds familiar but I can't quite place it...

Secrets of the Harbingers takes Charlotte into the deep end of journalism... anything for a good scoop, the people have a right to know the truth! Sprinkle in some hilarious posters in the background. The featured harbingers are Pantalone, Sandrone, and Il Dottore... quite the trio.

The animation for Furina: All the World's off Stage highlights Furina's time in the streets of her nation. She's a girl, it's her world! The music goes hard, Furina is living her best life off stage, and all is well in the world.

I think every year has featured at least one stop motion animation. I'm happy for that; stop motion is incredibly time-consuming. Not much to say about the Furina stop motion, I'm glad to see it.

The Best funeral service for you... Hu Tao is so dear to me. The phone number? The coupons? THE COURT CASE? Keep trying and you might get some customers soon.

Subutai Production returns for Furina VS Nahida: Trial of the Archons! Fully voiced court room drama between the gods. Theater kids. Love that for them.

Genshin Magicka: Little Witches, in the same style as Little Witch Academia! Collei, Yoimiya, and Sucrose are our student witches, with La Signora as the antagonist and Nahida to be saved.

Modern AU with characters vibing together for Travel to Your World. Tighnari keeps the ears. Big sis Jean is always going to be Klee's sister, no matter the world. Thoma going grocery shopping with Navia pulled a smile out of me, and transitioning to Ayaka shopping for Genshin plushie merch (all the plushies are official merch, by the way) got me to laugh. Everyone is wearing such fashionable outfits. Idol group Amber/Nilou/Barbara/Yunjin VS girl group Yelan/Ei/Yae Miko/Eula, then boy band Al Haitham/Cyno/Scaramouche/Wrio(???)... I was genuinely surprised to see him there. 4nemo with Kazuha/Heizou/Lyney/Venti! They're not the OGs but they are sure four anemo boys. So many characters from different regions would be friends in the modern world... I can definitely see Dehya and Childe hanging out in a bar together. The ending, though, with all five released archons - what a way to end the year.

The Way Colored in Starlight concludes the first half of the program, rolling credits with art by Kurattes. I'm glad to see their art at the end of the year. They've done a lot of stuff for previous New Years and Anniversaries, so it feels fitting. And y'know, Lumine love!

For the second half — Honkai: Star Rail

The opening song is another bop! What a beat, what a voice!

Galactic Grand Prix! Animated by MIOTA ANIMATION! I'm pretty sure they're a studio. Argenti's teammates are Stelle and Clara, while Asta has Welt and Pela, leaving Luka with Fu Xuan and Herta. Hard to tell who won (it cuts off at the end to transition to Lynx) but way later in the stream an announcer mentions Asta got first place, with Luka leading in second and Argenti placing third.

Luka shines in Sparks Yet to Fly! From the program list, this was the one I was most excited for. I don't care for him that much, but I think he's an interesting guy. The people behind this video seem to care a lot about him from how well produced this video is; he has his fans among this world, too. Pretty sure the audio they use is from the HSR OST, though not sure which track.

Nowhere to Run takes Blade down memory lane, with the fall of the High Cloud Quintet to chasing a shadow of Dan Feng to him joining the Stellaron Hunters. The song that plays is Oracle, from Honkai Impact 3rd. I knew I recognized it, but it took me a while to figure out the name of the song... I'm not a HI3 player.

The Astra Express trio in Our Trailblazing Adventures kicks off with Stelle and Caelus, March awakening from the ice, and Dan Heng on a bridge on the Luofu. Overall a wholesome trio going about their lives, do not separate them.

The one afterwards is Dr. Ratio dancing in only a towel. This is more like a meme song, but it's funny, so I like it.

Dead Girl Walking leads us to the Ten Lords Commission! It focuses on Hanya and Xueyi, to be precise. To be honest, I thought it was going to be a Heathers reference at first. Nice animations!

I'm happy with Pink Ambience. Elysia is my favorite HI3 character, and hearing TruE play moved me to nearly tears. I wish she would appear in HSR... but even if not, it's okay (and I'm confident it won't happen because that would turn over her entire purpose; she's meant to be a unique existence, she can't exist outside of the role she already had). March would be good friends with Elysia.

Took me a while to realize Funny Bone was about Sampo, I really thought they were all OCs from the Masked Fools. Just your ol' buddy and pal, Sampo! The song is a banger, and the animation reminds me of Arcane, sort of. A blend of 3D and painting, I guess? I love the ending.

Dan Heng Rises takes us back to the fight against Phantylia, now animated. The great galactic batter Stelle herself fights alongside Jing Yuan, Welt, March, and Dan Heng to take her down! Dan Heng catches March from falling, it's cute. Welt uses the Star of Eden! It's nerfed but still effective enough to give Dan Heng a boost! Lightning Lord shows up too! I didn't expect much going in, but this video is great. Power of friendship triumphs, after all.

A lot of the people who saw Cyrille's Doll likely forgot about who she is. She's an NPC you can encounter in Belabog as a child, but is dead in the present due to unfortunate circumstances beyond her control. You get to go through her story throughout the quest chain Vessel of Mediocrity. The song for this one is called てるてる坊主 or Teru Teru Bouzu, which apparently is a children's nursery rhyme. It also refers to the white dolls/charms crafted to bring in good weather; if you've seen Weathering With You, then you know what they look like.

Lynx in Winterland is just Lynx exploring. It's a wholesome video, and that's all I have to say. I'm sure Lynx is a nice character, but I don't care about her that much, to be frank (same boat as Luka).

The rolling credits play with a piano cover of Fly Me To the Moon... which is pretty fitting, given HSR's space themes, and the lyrics of the song. Let me see what life is like starward, forevermore.

And that concludes everything in the stream! Thanks for reading this far, kind stranger!

[winderlylandchime]

2x12 1/2 has always been a boring ep for me but i was curious for his reaction to the Ben/Brian story: ‘Come on! Give me Brian and Justin. They probably missed each other since somebody had to cancel on Miami’ *looks at me like a kid on Christmas* ‘is that what gay clubs actually are like? they have random shower moments and shit like that? I wanna go to one!’…‘Is Ben’s whole schtick being shirtless and being into Buddha? I mean go off but bro find something that makes you interesting bc i am bored…do you think mike makes him even more boring?’ And the scene with Mikey finding out they were at White Party together and Justin finding out happens. ‘Oh my god! Is their version of trying to make Ben less boring really gonna be him being fucked by Brian? That’s pathetic and it’s not gonna work. Even I wouldn’t be able to make him less boring and I am a delight!’ *pauses the tv and looks at me* ‘okay seriously though, was i just that insanely high and didn’t see it or did they never hint at this shit? Also…do you think they ever read the scripts and called each other up to talk shit about it or something? Like *imitates like hes on a phone* “hey did you see what we gotta do next week? Whats wrong with Jeff? Did he forget how to write?” Do you think they ever did that?’ I am now wondering the same thing bc of pink posse and s5.. *the Ben/Brian flashbacks happen* ‘oh god. Oh god. OH MY GOD. Please no. This looks wrong. It feels wrong! I hate it. ITS WRONG, make it stop!’ ‘..see the problem is, i love Debbie but I’m still mad at her. But also is she gay? Why did she say that dead guy was one of us? Is she..?(i tell him debbie is straight) huh..i get it she’s like everyones mom, i guess..except Ben’s cause fuck that guy. Wait, oh no, do i sound like Debbie at times? Oh god, am i Debbie?..OH I FORGOT THEY CALLED THAT KID JANE DOE. Fuck those cops! Debbie is right they are…..lame fucks’(he refused to repeat after debbie bc she said fat fucks and he struggled to look for a similar word he kinda succeeded i guess) and the “he hasnt fucked me” scene comes up ‘oh god, michael, my dead grandpa knows you haven’t been fucked by Brian so no need to say it yourself. You sound desperate and pathetic, and in front of Ben? My god this guy might be boring but fucking hell he keeps witnessing the most dumbest shit ever.’ And now mikey found out. ‘..is it? Is it hilarious michael? Because you look like you’re about 3 seconds away from killing Ben for fucking Brian and not the other way around. Oh he must be jealous jealous. oh that has to sting..this is so fucking lame’ he is not having it this episode ‘not to sound rude but if you’re trying to sound like you’re not bothered by the fact that your man got to fuck Brian and you haven’t..you are failing miserably Mikey..have i said how lame this is? They really came up with this shit out of nowhere huh? Or is it going to like move the story in some way?’ He is visibly upset at how bad this whole Brian/ben plot is.

Hello dear sweet anon! Sorry to just be getting to your reports now. I promise it’s not an indication of my interest, just a busy day at work and throwing my back out yesterday by (checks notes) sitting. I need some of your brother’s drugs!

The biggest joke between me and my spouse is the budget that Babylon seemingly had… no gay club I’ve ever been to has been like that!

ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE BEN LESS BORING! I die.

Did the actors call each other up to bitch about the insane storylines? Well we know that Randy had complaints about his character so I’m going to guess that yes they did. Plus it’s work. You have to complain about your boss at work!

I love that your brother refused to stoop to using fat as an insult even though cops are…well cops. We love a body positive man!

Michael in this storyline is really trying all of our patience. Of course Brian fucked Ben. His looks are the most interesting thing about him and Brian’s not in the habit of talking to his tricks. (Justin is the exception.)

[eleanor-bradstreet]

I find it both astonishing and a bit cosmically unfair that so much talent can be contained within a single author. That you can write the most satisfyingly salacious smut and immediately turn around, lower the flame and keep us simmering with such heart-rending, romantic pining. Plus these gorgeous little dives into the characters’ psyches, revealing who they are to us, to themselves, to each other… What CAN’T you do, is my question. I had to let you know, these moments captured me:

Disheveled Ben - STAHP. Stop making him hotter than he already is while squeaky clean. My hormones can’t take it! Reader’s imagination is quite the active one - imagining him thrusting - FUCK OFF I just about fell out of my chair….🥵🥵 That’s all I’ll be imagining for days now too. Thanks for that.

“I would never want to disappoint you, miss.” Screeeeech. Our boy has got it baadddd.

Umm, step off Reeves eyeing Ben up and down like he’s some scoundrel here to abscond with Reader’s virtue dear god, yes please. Makes me wonder how other men see Ben. He probably irritates the hell out of them, with his unflappable confidence and women falling at his feet, but yet he’s impossible to hate because he’s just such a funny, kind and self-deprecating chum. He’s a menace in so many ways, everyone must absolutely hate and desperately love him simultaneously. 😅

Oooo the little playful banter between our couple begins! She knows what she’s about and she’s not scared to assert herself. I’m sure that won’t lead to any kind of trouble, nope…

“You roll your eyes and pull a deadpan face, eliciting a carefree chuckle from him. The sound makes you feel like the sun lives in your veins. You would do anything to make him make that noise again—every day.” The sun is beaming out of my FACE reading this 😁

🐸 The memory is just lovely and hilarious! Happy to have contributed and thank you for bringing it to life so perfectly 🐸

“Your breath catches, and your hands itch to touch him. Tell him you think that he is quite the most captivating thing you have ever seen. The most beautiful, in fact.” Girl, SAME.

Guuhhhhhhhh Ben’s enduring imposter syndrome, even as his landscapes are ending up in galleries everywhere and he’s being hired out for his work. He always doubts himself. It’s such an integral part of who he is, especially before he finds love and I ADORE that you focus on that here. 💙

“you see an expression that turns your legs to jelly even though you sit. It’s admiration, surprise, and even you can recognise it, blatant desire. A stare so intense you feel stripped by it. His chest heaving a little under his waistcoat, each tiny button under rhythmic strain. “No one has ever talked of my art like that,” he confides.” AAAAHHHHHHH 😩😩😩 My heart, my loins….all jelly indeed

I’ll reiterate how scared I am to continue with this series, because it has already bewitched me body and soul and I love, I love, I love it. It owns me. ☺️

Portrait: II

Masterpost

PREV | NEXT

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: The second portrait session and our pair are getting closer.

Warnings (for this chapter): none really... a couple of suggestive thoughts.

Word Count: 1.7k

Authors Note: Thanks to @eleanor-bradstreet for her ideas around the little childhood memory in this chapter. Enjoy! <3

II

Benedict returns the following morning, looking much less put together. He wears the same outfit as the previous day, except his jacket is dishevelled, and his trousers are creased as if he had slept in them. It appears as if his hair has been combed with fingers, and there is a shadow of stubble on his jaw. He smells of cigars and whiskey even from a few feet away. 

If you were a betting person, you would wager that he had overindulged the previous evening. Be it drugs, alcohol and perhaps even sins of the flesh… you steer your wayward mind from that possibility, knowing enough from overheard idle housemaid’s gossip, a fluttering low in your belly at the very idea of this man naked and thrusting.

“You look a little tired, Mr Bridgerton,” you comment gently after a few minutes of him frowning at his easel as if perplexed by his own art supplies.

“You are most observant,” the gravelly sound makes your body tingle, and he clears his throat before speaking more. “My brother had his stag party last night, and I fear we may have overindulged,” he adds, somewhat sheepish.

“We could have postponed…,” you offer with a slight shrug.

“NO!” the forcefulness with which he says it makes you flinch slightly. “I did not mean to startle you, miss,” he continues softer, “what I mean is I am a man of integrity. If I make a commitment to do something, I honour it. I promised I would be here this morning. So I am,” he meets your eye. “I would never want to disappoint you, miss.” 

Something in the way he says it has your heart rate spiking again, even as outwardly you merely nod slightly. “Could I offer you some coffee then, perhaps?”

“Oh god, yes, please,” he sounds so grateful for such a simple gesture you can't help but smile.

You ring a bell to summon your family butler, who slides into the room and looks at you expectantly.

“Mr Reeves, please could we have some coffee?”

“Certainly.” his eyes dart pointedly to Benedict. “Should you be alone for your portrait, miss? Perhaps you would like me to remain after mid-morning refreshments are served?” he suggested pointedly, the avuncular concern for your welfare and honour always there.

“No need,” you assure quickly. “My parents and indeed my intended are aware of Mr Bridgerton’s presence. And have deemed it acceptable to honour his request that other people not be in the room when he paints—it distracts from his artistic process.”

You feel Benedict's eyes on you. He made no such stipulation; this is purely something of your own manufacture you have just conjured. But he says nothing; there is just the slightest hint of a bemused quirk in the corner of his mouth.

“My artistic process?” he murmurs after your butler has departed.

Instantly you feel something in the air between you - playful, light, a shared understanding that is so very beguiling. 

“I thought all artists to be temperamental sorts,” you throw out, quirking an eyebrow. “If I am mistaken in my assumption, I will let Mr Reeves remain if that is your preference.” 

He smirks as he glances up over the top of his canvas. “There is no need. The lack of interruption shall likely aid my process indeed.”

“As I suspected, Mr Bridgerton,” enthralled by his reaction as you attempt a cool sideways glance while raising your chin to a more upward turn, a triumphant little smile twitching your lip.

“You are quite the creature,” he mutters sotto voce, and you pretend not to hear it as staff bustle into the room with coffee and biscuits.

Once Benedict has coffee, he seems to perk up immeasurably and begins painting earnestly. You settle into your pose as you hear delicate brushstrokes on canvas.

“Tell me your favourite childhood memory,” his voice startling you from the almost hypnotic calm you have slipped into.

“Why?” your brow knits.

“Just indulge me”, he responds, and it's his turn to quirk an eyebrow.

You twist your mouth into a slight pout as there is a staring contest for a few moments. 

“It’s part of my ‘artistic process’,” he adds drolly, the air quotes he gestures with his last couple of words designed to mock you gently.

You roll your eyes and pull a deadpan face, eliciting a carefree chuckle from him. The sound makes you feel like the sun lives in your veins. You would do anything to make him make that noise again—every day. Before you know it, you are doing as he requests.

“When I was seven years old, I read The Frog Prince,” you begin, a nostalgic smile claiming your face. “I was convinced that if I just kissed the most handsome frog from the pond in our country house, maybe it would turn into my own handsome prince….”

Benedict laughs. “And as you are still an unmarried woman, for now at least, I assume that pursuit was unsuccessful?” he lobbies dryly.

“Indeed,” you giggle, dismissing thoughts of your upcoming nuptials, not wanting to taint this moment of levity. “But I had invested a lot of time in frog catching, and it seemed a wasted opportunity to just let it on its merry way back to the pond.”

“Oh god, what did you do?”

“I was in the kitchen with our cook and saw the bright silver serving dishes, and well…” you shrug with an impish grin. “So I snuck it back into the house with Mr Frog under the silver cloche with the intention of leaving it in my brother’s bed later.….”

“A classic jape,” he acknowledges.

“...Indeed, but mother called me, and I clean forgot I left it there. Then fifteen minutes later, we are all gathered at the dinner table and well….”

“No!” he guffaws.

“The butler unveils dinner of roast lamb and… very live, very petrified frog! My brothers and I found it hilarious. My father was mad; my mother was horrified and had to go lie down.” You are both pealing with laughter at the end of your tale. As your giggles die out, you can't help the next question. “So tell me, how is knowing that story a part of your process?”

“Nothing is more alive in someone's expression when they talk of their favourite memory. I try to capture that look, that gleam in the eye, when I’m painting their face,” he explains as his words make your insides feel somehow melted. 

“But you did not appear to be painting,” your voice almost husky.

“I committed the look on your face to memory as you spoke,” he replies softly. “It was quite the most captivating thing,” he adds, looking down as if abashed to admit it.

Your breath catches, and your hands itch to touch him. Tell him you think that he is quite the most captivating thing you have ever seen. The most beautiful, in fact. But you do not. You merely sit there mildly dumbstruck by the compliment he paid you, shifting slightly in your seat, breaking your pose, something in your body not knowing how to process his words or your reaction to them. 

“You seem uncomfortable,” he observes carefully. “Should we take a short break?”

“NO!” you respond more forcefully than intended. “Sorry, I just….”

“You do not need to apologise or explain anything to me, miss; I am here to provide a service to you. Not the other way around,” he points out mildly.

“I am fine. And are you quite sure of that, Mr Bridgerton? Is it not the artist's prerogative to be exacting and demanding of his subjects as he toils over his work?” you ask airily.

“Ha! I am somewhat more even in temperament than the archetype of the tortured artist. Perhaps my talent is not of sufficient calibre,” he states modestly with a self-deprecating, wry tone. You can tell there is something in him that doubts his skill and a burning need to reassure rushes out of you.

“Your calibre seems entirely equivalent to genius from the paintings I have seen. Why else would I insist on commissioning you?”

“You… insisted on me? I thought myself your father's choice,” he appears surprised.

“My father would not know good art if it jumped up and bit his behind,” you jest.

Benedict laughs heartily, and once again, you feel alive, with sunlight in your being. It makes you confessional, wanting him to know the truth of how you feel.

“I, however, found your artwork very….” you cannot think of a better word than the one lodged on your tongue, so you just let it fly “...arousing. As in, it awakened my senses. I felt alive in the scenes you painted as if standing there, not just seeing but feeling the elements, smelling the land, and hearing the trees rustle. So immediate. So when an artist was needed, you were the only name I could think of. Call me selfish, but if anyone must paint my portrait, quite simply, it has to be you, Mr Bridgerton, my favourite artist.” 

You haven't dared to look at him the whole time you spoke, but as you do now, you see an expression that turns your legs to jelly even though you sit. It's admiration, surprise, and even you can recognise it, blatant desire. A stare so intense you feel stripped by it. His chest heaving a little under his waistcoat, each tiny button under rhythmic strain.

“No one has ever talked of my art like that,” he confides. 

“They should. And one day, I believe they will.” Your passion for his work, and him, the man, boiling over into a hushed but urgent tone. “And I will be a lucky lady to know my portrait was painted by none other than a British master. It will be my most prized possession.”

You are not entirely sure what swept you into such a passionate diatribe, but you know no other man on this earth can, or likely ever will, make you feel the way he does. And you continue to stare at each other, both breathing entirely too laboured, considering no physical movement has occurred. You almost jump out of your skin when the clock in the corner strikes the hour with a resounding chime.

“Our time is up, miss,” his voice sounding muted and reluctant.

“More’s the pity,” you whisper so faintly he cannot hear you, your eyes finally dropping to the floor as the spell is broken.

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked

[alexskarsgardnet]

New Alex Interview & Photoshoot with Interview Magazine (March 2022) + a BTS pic!

Alexander Skarsgård Talks to Kirsten Dunst About the Pleasure and the Pain

By

Kirsten Dunst

(February 15, 2022)

Photographed by

Juergen Teller

Styled by Harry Lambert

Alexander Skarsgård has excelled at playing a manipulative vampire, an abusive husband, and the literal harbinger of disease and destruction in a pandemic-ravaged world. And yet, he’s still good for a laugh. You don’t grow up the model-handsome scion of a legendary Swedish acting family without having a sense of humor about yourself. Think about his crack-up cameos as a vacant male model in Zoolander, an overgrown college grad in Eastbound & Down, and a mulletted schlub in On Becoming a God in Central Florida. But despite his reputation for just going for it, at 45 years old, he continues to surprise. Last year, he stole scenes on Succession as Lukas Mattson, a tech bro so unlikable you couldn’t help but love him. And now, six years after he tamed the jungle in The Legend of Tarzan, Skarsgård is returning to the shirtless-action-hero genre in the Robert Eggers-directed viking saga The Northman, a grueling production that, as he tells his Melancholia costar Kirsten Dunst, was no laughing matter.

KIRSTEN DUNST: Where are you in life right now?

ALEXANDER SKARSGÅRD: I’m in Copenhagen.

DUNST: With your family?

ALEX: Yeah. Well, I’m heading back to Stockholm next week. I was actually working with our dear friend Lars [von Trier] again

DUNST: Really? On what?

ALEX: He’s doing another season of The Kingdom. Do you remember that? The old TV show he did for Danish television like 15 or 20 years ago?

DUNST: I never watched it, but I’ve heard it’s incredible.

ALEX: It’s a lot of fun. It takes place at the main hospital here in Copenhagen. Dad [Stellan Skarsgård] played an attorney on The Kingdom whenever they shot it, but he couldn’t do this. They kind of rewrote the part, so it’s now the Swedish attorney’s son. I actually replaced my father. Step aside, old man.

DUNST: I was talking about him recently, and I said that making Melancholia felt like I was on a European vacation. I had so much fun.

ALEX: It’s pretty much the same team from Melancholia. It was a lovely reunion.

DUNST: I’m jealous.

ALEX: You were missed. We talked about you a lot.

DUNST: You know what? Lars and I have the same birthday. So funny. And so does Jane Campion, which is really weird. It’s like I only want to work with Tauruses or something. I love that actor-family lifestyle you guys have. How many of the Skarsgårds are actors?

ALEX: Twenty-five, basically.

DUNST: Twenty-five?

ALEX: Not quite. There’s four. If you need a Skarsgård for a movie and one of us isn’t available, it’s like, “How about this one?”

DUNST: My one son is so dramatic. I can see him becoming an actor. There’s something romantic about having it be a family business.

ALEX: Well, you started out super early, right?

DUNST: Yeah. How old were you when you started?

ALEX: I was seven, but it wasn’t intentional. My dad’s friend was a director and needed a 7-year-old kid, and he was over at our house, drinking wine with dad and talking. And then he saw this 7-year-old kid run through the room, and was like, “What about that kid?”

DUNST: I feel like I’d do that with my kid, too, if it was a director I knew and it felt like a family event. “Sure, put him in a movie.” I like that stuff.

ALEX:  It might sound odd, but it wasn’t even something I wanted to do. I did it, but my memories have more to do with free Cinnabons at the craft service table than the actual craft.

DUNST: Not the craft, the craft service! I think the first thing I ever saw you in was Zoolander. I thought to myself, “How is this very good-looking person so hilarious?” I want you to be in more comedies. I want a weird Skarsgård family comedy.

ALEX: We should plan something together because my dad would love to do the family thing.

DUNST: Let’s talk about The Northman. You play a prince? A Swedish god? What are you?

ALEX: It’s based on an old saga called “Prince Amleth of Jutland,” which inspired Shakespeare to write Hamlet. It’s about a man avenging the death of his father. It starts on an island in the north Atlantic. My character is the young prince of that kingdom. When his father gets murdered by his uncle, he manages to escape the island. And the uncle believes that the young prince is dead.

DUNST: It’s like The Lion King. That’s where my brain goes right now.

ALEX: The Lion King is basically Hamlet. But the saga is as old as Viking culture.

DUNST: Fun?

ALEX: It was the most fun. I’ve been wanting to tell a Viking story in a way that felt entertaining and big. Working with Robert Eggers, every single detail has to be 100 percent perfect. Every single stitch on a tunic. That’s obviously difficult when you tell a story that takes place a thousand years ago. You have to take some creative liberties.

DUNST: This will make my mom very happy because she loves everything about Vikings.

ALEX: She’s Swedish, right?

DUNST: Our family’s from Minnesota. So it’s Minnesota Swedes. I’m going to ask you fun questions now. What are you reading?

ALEX: A book called In the Distance by Hernan Diaz. It’s set in the 19th century and a man crosses the United States from the West Coast to the East Coast in search of his brother. I highly recommend it.

DUNST: I know you love music. Anything you’re listening to?

ALEX: I have a tendency to go down a rabbit hole for a period of time, and then I move on. I recently came out of a Roxy Music phase.

DUNST: I love Roxy Music. Sometimes I listen to a lot of a certain thing because it gets me in the zone for a part or on set. I’ll make myself a playlist for the character.

ALEX: I often use music to get out of character. To get away from it.

DUNST: On set, you’re really present. You’re fun to work with because you’re alive in the scenes. You’re willing to play around. How do you go about creating a role?

ALEX: It’s quite square and structured. I read the script once a day for however many weeks or months I have before the shoot.

DUNST: Really? Once a day? Interesting. I totally don’t do that.

ALEX: It helps me get into the headspace of a character. I discover new things with each read. I come up with a thousand different ideas and then I eliminate them. Once we get into production, it’s about finding that sweet spot between being prepared but also open to whatever happens when you meet the other actors. It’s being alive and playful and open to discovering things in front of the camera. If I’m not prepared at all, it makes me nervous. The most rewarding days were when I came prepared with a vague idea of how I wanted to play the scene, but I was still open enough to be surprised. And together with the director and the other actors, we discovered something that wasn’t planned and was surprising and exciting for all of us. Rob works in the diametrically opposite way of Lars. Everything is meticulously planned. It’s mostly one single camera, one shot.

DUNST: He likes long shots? There’s an energy within that. If you want everything in one shot, you’re living that life. You feel more taken into something when things are in one shot.

ALEX: In The Northman, there are long, intense fight scenes with 40 stuntmen and horses and 200 extras. To shoot it all in one shot means you do this four-minute take, and then a horse deep in the background looks the wrong way and you have to do it all again.

DUNST: That sounds like my worst nightmare.

ALEX: You’re so exhausted that you want to cry. You feel like you finally got all the choreography of the fight worked out, but then you have to go again and again and again. There’s always something in the background that wasn’t quite right. The flip side of that is when you finally get it, it feels like winning gold at the Olympics.

DUNST: He sounds like a perfectionist.

ALEX: He absolutely is. But he’s also a genius. The Northman was the first time I worked on something that was so meticulously stylized, and you almost had to see it as a dance between the camera and the actors, because the camera was constantly moving, and so were we. If the timing was slightly off, then we’d have to go again. I’ve never been more tired than after those six months.

DUNST: Where’d you shoot it?

ALEX: Most of it takes place in Iceland. We locked down and stayed in Belfast and shot almost all of it up in the mountains and on the seaside. Then we went with a skeleton crew to Iceland to get some of the epic Icelandic landscapes.

DUNST: I’ve always wanted to go to Reykjavík.

ALEX: I’m there every summer. It’s the most extraordinary place. The people are beautiful and open. You’re hanging out with a carpenter who’s also a poet, and then you meet a cab driver who is Iceland’s biggest rap singer.

DUNST: I haven’t watched you in Succession yet because I have two small children. These days, all I watch are cartoons.

ALEX: How old are they now?

DUNST: One is nine months. The other one’s three-and-a-half. Two boys. They’re a handful. When they can really play together, I will have my life back, but right now I can’t wait to go back to work.

ALEX: When did you shoot The Power of the Dog?

DUNST: Like two years ago. It was during Covid, and then I got pregnant.

ALEX: Are you back home?

DUNST: We’re in Austin, Texas, right now because Jesse [Plemons, Dunst’s partner] is making a miniseries here for HBO, with David Kelley and Nicole [Kidman] producing. I haven’t even been to the set. I’ll tell Jesse to say hi to the gang from you.

ALEX: Do you guys try to travel together as much as possible? If you work, Jesse tries to take some time off, and then when he works, you take some time off ? How do you guys navigate that?

DUNST: Honestly, he got the opportunity to work with Scorsese, and I just had a baby and he tore his ACL. No one can not work with Scorsese. Right now, our schedule just overlaps. So far, we’ve really lucked out. We might do another project with some friends where we work together again. It’s nice that as a couple, we’ve been embraced as people who can act together.

ALEX: You were so wonderful together in The Power of the Dog.

DUNST: It’s nice to have that together.

ALEX: It’s very obvious how much you guys enjoyed that.

DUNST: You guys would like working together.

ALEX: We almost did, didn’t we? Many, many years ago.

DUNST: Really?

ALEX: Yeah.

DUNST: Wait, wait. Time out. Weren’t you in Battleship?

ALEX: Yeah.

DUNST: So was he.

ALEX: Yeah, I know, but we didn’t really have any scenes together. I think we had some crowd scenes. He should join us on our Skarsgård family adventure.

DUNST: That would make me so happy. The people deserve you all in one film. Okay, I’m going to ask you some quick-fire questions. What’s your guilty pleasure?

ALEX:  Czech beers.

DUNST: What do Swedes shoot all the time? Fernet something, right?

ALEX: Fernet-Branca.

DUNST: Why do Swedes like to shoot that?

ALEX: I don’t know!

DUNST: It’s very medicinal.

ALEX: It feels medicinal and it feels like lubrication for your cardiovascular system.

DUNST: While you’re getting wasted! What makes you angry?

ALEX: I’m so even-tempered, it’s pathetic. I get angry with myself because I’m too OCD. Sometimes I need to stop being so square and let loose a bit.

DUNST: What makes you happy? Czech beer?

ALEX: Czech beer, again.

DUNST: [To her son] Want to ask Alex what’s his favorite candy? I’ll ask him. What’s your favorite candy?

ALEX: That’s a great question. I like salt licorice.

DUNST: Most people reading this probably think that is so disgusting, but I love it, too.

ALEX: It’s an acquired, sophisticated taste for people like us, Kirst.

DUNST: Who scares you, Alex?

ALEX: I have a tendency to scare myself sometimes.

DUNST: What scares me sometimes is the vastness of the universe. We’re just floating in space and just dying and being born. If I get too caught up in that, it starts to freak me out

ALEX: I’m scared of the vastness of my own ego.

DUNST: [Laughs] What relaxes you?

ALEX: Going out to the archipelago outside of Stockholm. My mom lives on an island in the Baltic. We’ve been winter bathing out there.

DUNST: You jump into freezing cold water? I understand the concept of that, but I’m also like, no thank you. Let me be in the warm hot tub watching you all, drinking my Fernet.

ALEX: You jump in the water and it’s freezing cold, but then you go inside and sit by the fireplace. I’m in for basically 1.58 seconds.

DUNST: I’ve jumped in a freezing cold lake and jumped immediately out. It awakens you in a way that nothing else does. No one can predict the future, but what would you like for your future?

ALEX: I just hung up on you, that’s my future.

DUNST: You’re like, “Fuck that question.” Do you want to have kids one day? Would you want to direct? Where do you live, by the way?

ALEX: I divide my time between New York and Stockholm because my family is in Stockholm. I just hope that I continue to be curious as I get older. I have some colleagues and friends where, as they get older, it feels like the curiosity fades away.

DUNST: As we get older, hopefully we’ll just get more eccentric and awesome. I think surrounding yourself with young people is important as you get older.

ALEX: My grandma was like that, my favorite human being. She didn’t give a fuck about what people thought about her. She would say anything. Until her dying day, she had this incredible curiosity. She wanted to learn, try new things, meet new people, and not just wither away.

DUNST: I haven’t left the house much at all, and I do everything over Zoom. I feel a little bit stifled in that way, a little Groundhog Day. It’s great that The Power of the Dog has come out and everyone loves it, but you don’t get any feedback on it.

ALEX: Does it feel surreal in a way? Almost as if it didn’t happen?

DUNST: A little. I’m doing hair and makeup for Zooms, and doing interviews and things like that, and then I’m with my children in sweatpants all day. I’m either making a snack or getting hair and makeup done. It doesn’t go together. Let me get back to these questions. Who do you feel closest to? Who’s your crazy Swedish friend again? What’s his name?

ALEX: Dada?

DUNST: Dada, yeah. Are you still in touch with Dada?

ALEX: He lives in my apartment in Stockholm.

DUNST: Of course he does. I love that dude. When I think back on making Melancholia, that was one of the most fun times I’ve ever had on a movie, and it’s literally about the most depressing thing.

ALEX: When I watch that movie, all I think about is how much fun we had. Maybe the only way to get through such a depressing movie was by having fun.

DUNST: It felt like acting camp. We were in Sweden during the summer and there were music festivals. I haven’t gone dancing in forever. I think you’ve done a lot more than me, because I’ve had to obviously be safe for my children, too. I didn’t want to work right after having another kid, because I’m not going to have another child. I wanted to enjoy the beginning stages of that again and not go straight back to work. There wasn’t anything I was dying to do anyway. Now I’m very ready. Okay, Alex, what is the best thing about being a Swede?

ALEX: When people are screaming at each other and it’s polarized, you can always be like, “Hey, I’m Swedish, I don’t know. I’m in the middle, I’m right here.” You don’t have to take a stand. It’s perfect.

DUNST: Who was your first movie crush?

ALEX: My first love was Jessica Lange when I was a kid and I watched Tootsie. I felt butterflies.

DUNST: Listen, that’s some good taste.

ALEX: I had no idea what it was. I just knew that I wanted that girl to come back on screen.

DUNST: My son really likes Daisy Duck. It’s the eyelashes.

ALEX: She’s got amazing eyelashes. Also, the fact that she doesn’t wear any pants.

DUNST: Oh my gosh. She has bloomers on in whatever we’re watching. She’s more modest now. Do you want to say anything else? It’s awesome you’re on the cover. I love Interview magazine.

ALEX: I’m going to get to work on our next project with the whole Skarsgård clan, and you and Jesse.

DUNST: That would be my dream.

ALEX: Likewise.

Hair: Kei Terada Using Balmain Hair Couture at Julian Watson Agency

Creative Partner: Dovile Drizyte

Digital Operator: Tom Ortiz

Photography Assistant: Tarek Cassim

Fashion Assistants: Naomi Phillips and Ryan Wohlgemut

Post- Production: Catalin Plesa at Quickfix Retouch

Sources:  Article/Interview:  Kirsten Dunst for Interview Magazine (x), Images, Our edits, Originals:  Photographer:  Juergen Teller for InterviewMagazine.com (x) & InterviewMag instagram (x), Behind-the-scenes pic:  Original:  The February 15, 2022 insta story of Keiterada (x, x)

[alyswritings]

Holland! Reader being triplet of Harry and Sam and having a tomboyish personality. One day, she decides to dress up for a change and all brothers react like "who are you and what did you do to our sister?" basically playful teasing from them lol

-🌷

Y/N has always been on the tomboy side more so than girly girl. How could she not be growing up with four brothers? She always preferred sports over playing with dolls. She never wore skirts, dresses, jewelry -- aside from her pierced ears --, or makeup. She rarely painted her nails, only doing so when her mother forced her to a mani/pedi.

But Y/N decided to change that today. While shopping with her friends a few days ago, she saw a cute skirt along with a pretty cute shirt. Even though it was less tomboyish than her normal clothes, she couldn't resist buying it.

Y/N observes her appearance in her mirror. She's wearing a teal crop top, a dark purple skirt that reaches her mid thighs, a necklace her mother gave her a few years ago on her and her brothers' birthday, some rings adorn a few of her fingers, and she has two bracelets on her left wrist, and one on her right. She applied some light mascara, blush, and eye shadow. She has small heeled boots on and her hair is in a half up half down style.

Y/N smiles proudly at her appearance, shocked she doesn't mind it as much as she thought she would've.

Y/N goes downstairs, entering the kitchen where the rest of her family is. The Hollands look up at the sound of shoes and all freeze when they spot Y/N.

Tom's spoon drops from his hand, landing back into his bowl of cereal. All four brothers' jaws drop. Dominic and Nikki share a confused look.

"What? Something on my face?" Y/N asks after nothing was said for a few moments. She lightly touches her face, trying to see if there's anything.

"No, no, nothing, dear. You look wonderful, darling." Nikki compliments, walking over and hugging her daughter.

"Thanks, mum." Y/N smiles.

"Look absolutely lovely." Dominic tells her and Y/N blushes with her parents' praise.

"Thank you." She mutters, looking back at her brothers. "Are you all all right? Do we need to call 999?"

"Are you wearing makeup?" Paddy questions, walking closer to inspect her face.

"Yes." Y/N answers, slightly pushing him away when his nose is practically touching her ear.

"Did we miss something? What happened to Y/N?" Tom asks making his sister roll her eyes.

"Was Y/N kidnapped?" Sam asks, him, Harry, and Tom walking over.

"You know, we--" Harry points between him and Sam. "have a triplet sister who looks just like you. But so different. I mean, no makeup, less girly clothes, rarely jewelry."

"It's almost scary the resemblance." Sam mutters.

"Ha ha, yes, you're all freaking hilarious." Y/N says sarcastically.

"God, she's so lifelike." Tom says, poking Y/N's cheek until she swats his hand away. "What happened to my baby sister?"

"I'm three years younger." Y/N retorts.

"Yeah, younger. Baby." Tom smiles and Y/N rolls her eyes.

"Who are you and what did you do with our sister?" Sam asks, staring at Y/N intently.

"I can assure you that she can show up any moment and kick your ass." Y/N smirks.

"Well, she's definitely got Y/N's attitude." Harry muses.

"Okay, when our sister returns, let us know." Tom says, patting Y/N on the head.

Y/N rolls her eyes, but says nothing else. She couldn't expect any less teasing from her four brothers.