#deanna summers

[michellemisfit]

Artwork for: 5 times Mickey teaches Ian something + 1 time Ian teaches Mickey by 🍒🌱🐈✨(aka @too-schoolforcool @deedala @michellemisfit @darlingian)

Medium: Tinted Charcoal

for @gallavich-fic-club's Gallavich Summer Writing Camp

—

Some in progress pictures after the cut

[steakout-05]

i have crafted an ancient relic

(based off this TF2 misunderstandings meme)

[grrl-beetle]

Kiko Kostadinov

[mysticalspiders]

This episode featured teen influencer Chetney, boy band Chetney, and 200 years younger beach life guard Chetney 

[kitsunetsuki]

Alfredo Pratelli - Advertisement for Bijoux Bozart, Linea Italiana Spring/Summer 1970, from Fashion Jewellery: Made in Italy by Deanna Farneti Cera (2013)

[pedge-page]

I'm on a baby Sarah binge with Joel and Preggo Wife.

@millercontracting this ones for you!

- - - -

2 year old Sarah sitting in her car seat watching outside go by in Joel's truck when she spots something in the neighbors flower bed.

"DADDY!"

"Hmm?"

"Keekee!" She shouts excitedly, pointing out the window.

Joel looks around the street but would have no idea what a keekee would look like if it were right in frojt of his face.

"What's that baby?"

"Kee kee! I WAN keekee!"

"I... honey no 'keekee' now okay?" Hes gonna have to ask you what new definition shes concoted today. You're way better at deciphering and translating Sarah's botched verbiage than he is.

But Sarah starts tossing her legs up and down crying "KEEKEE! I WAN KEE KEE!" All the way home.

And even as he wrestles her squirming body out of the car seat and carries her by her ankles into the house, she's still crying KeeKee over and over again.

"WHAT is a KeeKee!" You shout, running over to carefully take Sarah from Joels inhuman manhandling and set her up right on her tiny feet. You wipe away her eyes as fat tears slide down her chubby red cheeks, boogers spilling down her nose.

"I dont know! She saw something and won't shut up!"

"I WAN KEEKEE!" she wails pointing to the door with slunch shoulders. She huffs each breath and cry as if she's hyperventilating.

"Sarah--"

"KEEKEE. MOMMY KEE KEE. KEE KEE. KEEKEEKEEKEEKEE--"

You take her hand and walk with her outside.

"Where are you going??" Joel shouts from the entryway.

"She could have dropped something! She's not gonna calm until we find out what--"

"Kee kee!" She shouts happily, tugging your arm to pull you towards the neighbors house.

Deanna waves over to you and a very excited Sarah. Your neighbor has one hand protectively slung under the chest of Ramsey, her sphinx cat that you and Joel had baby sat 2 summers ago.

"Hey! Ramses slipped out the front door and was prowling around the garden bed."

Sarah giggly laughs and points to Ramses naked little self.

"Good thing you caught him! Do you mind if Sarah pets him?" You ask hesitantly. She seems to be distracted by the cat, now happy and tugging on your arm incessantly.

Deanna sets down on her knee and shows Sarah how to gently pat Ramses with two fingers on the head.

The toddler crouches down in a squat, giggles excitedly and says "Kee Kee!" As Ramses purrs under her belly.

You and Joel look over at one another in realization and say in unison: "Kitty Kitty!"

-

Sarah looks up to you expectedly 10 seconds later. "Momma, kee kee?" She asks sweetly.

You feel your heart swell at such a brilliantly beautiful display of your young daughter taking passion in love and nature and animals, so gentle and kind and soft, full of heart and warmth, deserving that kind of companionship for herself--

"Absolutely not. Don't you dare," Joel snaps at YOU, knowing the face you were about to make as you turned to him to open your mouth and ask if you could get a KeeKee.

[girlwhodoeskratom]

Deanna Lynn Jakubczak @ Chantal Thomass Spring/Summer, 1993 Ready-to-Wear

[maybeiwasjustjade]

My favorite running theory on Nesta’s endgame (plot-wise, not romantically; though if you asked me, she’ll forever deserve better than the bat dog) is that when she went into the Cauldron, she unwittingly came out as the High Lady of Dusk aka Theia’s true heir. Nesta’s stolen power made her immensely powerful, even more so than a High Lord. With it gone, and the Mother’s interference, I think whatever’s left is just the Dusk Lady’s magic.

Something I’ve seen often brought up is Nesta’s magic manifesting as cold silver flames. Which, anyone who has read ToG knows is very similar to Aelin’s description of Deanna’s moonfire. Coupled with Bryce’s own starborn powers manifesting as white/silver light, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities that Nesta’s magic is Dusk’s trueform.

“The age of the starborn is over on Midgard.” That’s what Bryce told Nesta when she handed over Gwydion to Nesta, and told her to figure out what her tattoo meant. Between the eight-pointed star tattoo and her connection to the Prison Island…all of it points towards the still-missing Dusk Court. And we know that Theia’s bloodline favored the females instead of the males (which is why I heavily doubt that Rhysand is the heir to dusk as many (IC stans) believe).

Then there’s also the theory that Nesta actually is a witch from her nameless mother’s bloodline. In ToG, the witches were a matrilineal kingdom so it actually fits alongside the theory about Dusk. And since it’s mostly been accepted that ToG existed long before Prythian, my theory is that the Prythian witches descended from the Crochan-Ironteeth some thousand years ago. But that may just be wishful thinking lmao.

My favorite theory though? That based on the location of each court on the map, and dusk coming before night in the solar cycle, so chances are Dusk and Night’s actual locations reflect Summer and Autumn aka split down the middle. The Prison Island sits on the western edge of Night. I don’t believe that Dusk was just that tiny island—if it was, they wouldn’t have made it a point to mention that Rhysand may be descended from Theia. No, I think Dusk was integrated into Night territory, and the island turned into a prison.

But if the location is right, and Dusk holds the entire western bank? Then it includes Velaris, too. The look on the Inner Circle’s faces (sans Azriel I think, who’s probably also Dusk-born) when they find out that Velaris by rights now belong to Nesta (as HL) would be absolutely hilarious. Rhysand might actually die from an aneurysm. Do I think she’ll take it from him? Probably not, but she sure as hell gonna be goddamn petty about it.

[treeroutes]

what's up ! non-exhaustive list of stories featuring weird plants :

The Day of the Triffids, John Wyndham

The Night of the Triffids, Simon Clark

In the Tall Grass, Stephen King and Joe Hill

The Boats of the 'Glen Carrig', William Hope Hodgson

The Man Whom the Trees Loved, Algernon Blackwood

The Red Tree, Caitlín R. Kiernan

Annihilation, Jeff VanderMeer

The Willows, Algernon Blackwood

The Nature of Balance, Tim Lebbon

'Bloom', John Langan

The Ruins, Scott Smith

The Wise Friend, Ramsey Campbell

'The Green Man of Freetown', The Envious Nothing : A Collection of Literary Ruins, Curtis M. Lawson

The Beauty, Aliya Whiteley

The Ash-Tree, M.R. James

Canavan's Backyard, J.P. Brennan

Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Jack Finney

The Hollow Places, T. Kingfisher

'Reaching for Ruins', Crow Shine, Alan Baxter

'Vortex of Horror', Gaylord Sabatini

Hothouse, Brian W. Aldiss

Vaster than Empires and More Slow, Ursula K. Le Guin

Odd Attachment, Ian M. Banks

Deathworld #1, Harry Harrison

The Bridge, John Skipp and Craig Spector

'The Garden of Paris', Eric Williams

Apartment Building E, Malachi King

The Seed from the Sepulchre, Clark Ashton Smith

Rappaccini's Daughter, Nathaniel Hawthorne

The Nursery, Lewis Mallory

The Other Side of the Mountain, Michel Bernanos

The Vegetarian, Han Kang

Sisyphean, Dempow Torishima

The Root Witch, Debra Castaneda

Semiosis, Sue Burke

The Wolf in Winter, Charlie Parker #12, John Connolly

Perennials, Bryce Gibson

Relic, Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child

Gwen, in Green, Hugh Zachary

The Voice in the Night, William Hope Hodgson

Ordinary Horror, David Searcy

The Family Tree, Sheri S. Tepper

The Book of Koli, Rampart Trilogy #1, M.R. Carey

Seeders, A.J. Colucci

Concrete Jungle, Brett McBean

The Plant, Stephen King

Anthologies/collections :

The Roots of Evil: Weird Stories of Supernatural Plants, edited by Michel Parry

Chlorophobia: An Eco-Horror Anthology, edited by A.R. Ward

Roots of Evil: Beyond the Secret Life of Plants, edited by Carlos Cassaba

The Green Man: Tales from the Mythic Forest, edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling

Sylvan Dread: Tales of Pastoral Darkness, Richard Gavin

Evil Roots: Killer Tales of the Botanical Gothic, edited by Daisy Butcher

Weird Woods: Tales From the Haunted Forests of Britain, edited by John Miller

'But fungi aren't plants' :

The Fungus, Harry Adam Knight

Growing Things and Other Stories, Paul Tremblay

The Girl with All the Gifts, M.R. Carey

Mexican Gothic, Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Fruiting Bodies, and Other Fungi, Brian Lumley

'The Black Mould', The Age of Decayed Futurity, Mark Samuels

What Moves the Dead, T. Kingfisher

The House Without a Summer, DeAnna Knippling

Mungwort, James Noll

Fungi, edited by Orrin Grey and Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Trouble with Lichen, John Wyndham

Notes :

all links lead to the goodreads page of the book, mostly because i like to look at book cover art ;

list features authors/books that i love (T. Kingfisher, Silvia Moreno-Garcia, Ursula K. Le Guin, the collections from the British Library Tales of the Weird, etc.), but also a few that i don't like and some that i have not yet read ;

if upon seeing that list the first novel you check out is by Stephen King's you have not understood the assignment ;

not all of those are strictly horror stories, some are 100% science fiction (Brian W. Aldiss' Hothouse for instance).

[deedala]

🍃weekly tag wednesday🍃

hello yes do you remember me? shits been crazy but i think i can finally focus for enough consecutive minutes to complete WTW this week!! thank you Kat @mybrainismelted for the game and for tagging me!! + ty @suzy-queued @gallapiech @energievie @lingy910y @catgrassplantdad @spookygingerr @mmmichyyy @thepupperino

Name:  deanna

Location:  not chicago 😔

Age: noel~

You have an unexpected extra day off work or school!  What are you going to do? oohh maybe i can make some gifs!!

What is your favorite way to spend a summer day?  inside somewhere cool and out from under the sun 💀

What is your favorite way to spend a winter day?  uhhmm...also inside and somewhere warm but not too warm cuz i wanna be in fuzzy socks and a sweatshirt and maybe even my fuzzy robe

What do you do to unwind at the end of the day?  go the fuck to bed and read a fic until i pass out

Do you play any sports?  i do not

Other than fanfic, what is your favorite genre to read?  i dont understand the question 🤔 (i guess mainly i've read YA girl protag adventure series books other than fic... oh and some dragon age novels, but is that just official fanfic? 😆)

What is your comfort movie/tv show?  many and it depends on my mood but some of them would beeee... vampire academy, new girl, everybody wants some, shameless, gallavich scenes (its two different vibes okay? lol), bob's burgers, edgar wright movies, star trek voyager, palm springs, okay i gotta stop....

Do you write or draw?  i do like to draw

What other arts or crafts do you do?  uuhhh gifmaking?

Describe your perfect breakfast:  dunkin donuts coffee with french vanilla creamer and oatmilk and an omelette and hash browns (the food part of that happens maybe once a year tho i wish i could live such a life lolol)

and now i'll tag some nuggets who might want to play too! <3 @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @darlingian @celestialmickey @sleepyheadgallavich @jrooc @blue-disco-lights @crossmydna @wehangout @gardenerian @gallawitchxx @heymrspatel @palepinkgoat @the-rat-wins @sam-loves-seb @creepkinginc @softmick @callivich @loftec @burninface @rereadanon @vintagelacerosette @sickness-health-all-that-shit @whatwouldmickeydo @spoonfulstar @howlinchickhowl @captainjowl @iansw0rld @y0itsbri 💖

[sitpwgs]

books read in 2024!

books read so far: 81/100

— gr: http://goodreads.com/cossettereads — sg: https://app.thestorygraph.com/profile/cossettereads

as always, askbox + dms are open if have any questions or would like to chat about books! 🤍

⊹ indicates any (new) favorites of the month! previous months are under the cut!

july ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ

1) firekeeper's daughter by angeline boulley (audiobook) ⊹ 2) born to run by bruce springsteen (audiobook) 3) it had to be you by eliza jane brazier 4) the great gatsby by f. scott fitzgerald (reread; annotated) 5) death on the nile by agatha christie (audiobook) 6) blue sisters by coco mellors (arc) ⊹ 7) juniper and thorn by ava reid (audiobook) 8) the villain edit by laurie devore ⊹

january ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1) beach read by emily henry (reread) 2) on palestine by noam chomsky & ilan pappé 3) valley verified by kyla zhao (gifted) 4) the wind at my back: resilience, grace, and other gifts from my mentor, raven wilkinson by misty copeland & susan fales-hill (gifted) 5) check please: year one by ngozi ukazu (reread) 6) check please: year two by ngozi ukazu (reread) 7) check please: year three by ngozi ukazu (reread) 8) check please: year four by ngozi ukazu (reread) 9) raiders of the lost heart by jo segura (gifted) 10) the frame-up by gwenda bond (arc) 11) everything i never told you by celeste ng ⊹ 12) forgive me not by jennifer baker (gifted) 13) ever after always by chloe liese (gifted) 14) the summer of bitter and sweet by jen ferguson (gifted) 15) the lily of ludgate hill by mimi matthews (gifted) 16) last call at the local by sarah grunder ruiz (gifted) ⊹ 17) the sun and the void by gabriela romero-lacruz (gifted) 18) a line in the dark by malinda lo (gifted) 19) biting the hand: growing up asian in black and white america by julia lee (gifted) 20) play it as it lays by joan didion

february ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1) mister hockey by lia riley * 2) collide by bal khabra (arc) * 3) a curious beginning by deanna raybourn (gifted) 4) breaking the ice by k.r. collins * 5) if only you by chloe liese (gifted) * 6) anxious people by frederik backman ⊹ 7) the catch by amy lea (gifted) 8) weekends with you by alexandra paige (arc) 9) happily never after by lynn painter (arc) 10) klara and the sun by kazuo ishiguro 11) good material by dolly alderton 12) in the event this doesn't fall apart by shannon lee barry 13) the night ends with fire (arc) by k.x. song 14) the good, the bad, and the aunties (arc) by jesse q. sutanto 15) where sleeping girls lie (arc) by faridah àbíké-íyímídé 16) sophomore surge by k.r. collins * 17) lighting the lamp by k.r. collins * 18) glove save and a beauty by k.r. collins * 19) home ice advantage by k.r. collins * 20) power play by k.r. collins * 21) grounded by k.r. collins * 22) line chemistry by k.r. collins *

march ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1) happy medium by sarah adler (arc) 2) a darker shade of magic by v.e. schwab (audiobook) 3) expiration dates by rebecca serle (arc) 4) divine rivals by rebecca ross (book club) 5) the siren by katherine st. john (gifted) 6) light in gaza edited by jehad abusalim 7) how to end a love story by yulin kuang (arc) // reviewed here 8) rising from the deep: the seattle kraken, a tenacious push for expansion, and the emerald city's sports revival by geoff baker 9) les misérables by victor hugo (reread)

april ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1) the goodbye cat by hiro arikawa (reread) 2) the traveling cat chronicles by hiro arikawa (reread) 3) this is me trying by racquel marie (arc) 4) kill her twice by stacey lee (arc) 5) the pairing by casey mcquiston (arc) 6) swiped by l.m. chilton (arc) 7) lies and weddings by kevin kwan (arc) 8) the odyssey by homer (audiobook)

may ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1) this summer will be different by carley fortune (arc) 2) the viscount who loved me by julia quinn (reread) 3) romancing mister bridgerton by julia quinn (reread) 4) the iliad by homer (narrated by audra mcdonald) (audiobook) 5) a novel love story by ashley poston (arc) 6) when he was wicked by julia quinn (reread) 7) a banh mi for two by trinity nguyen (arc) 8) the secret garden by frances hodgson burnett (audiobook)

june ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ

1) lessons in chemistry by bonnie garmus 2) the phantom of the opera by gaston leroux (audiobook) 3) you, with a view by jessica joyce 4) s. by j.j. abrams & doug dorst 5) the hunchback of the notre dame (audiobook) A

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

⛰️ Whiskey Lullaby

Whiskey Lullaby: You have been blasted by the past. The childhood best friend of the Miller brothers, you will soon have to deal with the reasons for the explosive argument that split you and Ben all those years ago in high school. Fists fly and you finally learn the reason for your emotional pain: Ben Miller is an idiot.

Warning: Angst, Language, Explicit Material (Unprotected Sex is a No No).

To Note: Ben Miller x NAMED!Female!Reader, Inspired by the song ‘Whiskey Lullaby’ by Brad Paisley, No Infidelity they’re just idiots.

Word Count: ~8.1k

You had been best friends with the Miller boys since you and Benny had been in diapers, and up until high school, you had been inseparable. It was a brother/sister type of thing that everyone in the town ran with because you seemed to be the happiest kids on the planet. But then Will went off to the army and a little thing called puberty hit one summer before high school got back into session, and you and Benny had gotten into a massive fight.

Call it what you will, teenagers just being teenagers, puberty highs, it had only taken one hormone fueled fight for you to go your separate ways. You didn’t even remember why you had fought. You only remember the crushing heartbreak and miserable defeat of over a decades worth of friendship. Ben Miller had long since left you life and you had done your best to try and not think about him since.

Which was hard because the little charm bracelet he and Will had gotten you on your sixteenth birthday still hung from your wrist… but you had done it. You had made it all these years without completely breaking down over a boy. You had even gotten yourself out of the small Colorado town you grew up in. So why were you thinking about Benjamin Miller right now?

8:00pm Ben Miller vs. Erik Romero

How many men you knew that had the name Ben Miller? One, and you were fairly certain it was the Ben Miller you hadn’t seen since early high school days.

 “Viv!” Elaine shouted, drawing your attention away from the two names. “Are you coming or not!? Deanna said she was going to find space for us but it’s filling up fast!”

“No need to get your thong in a twist,” You huffed, moving your heel clad feet over to your impatient friend. “I don’t even know why you want me to go to this fight. It’s just men beating each other up, what’s so great about it?”

Elaine rolled her eyes and grabbed your wrist with her fingers, tugging you after her as she dove into the growing crowd.

“Deanna’s boyfriend is fighting tonight at nine, she wants us to support him and we are good friends so we are here… plus the bar across the street gets filled pretty quickly with hot guys afterward.” Elaine explained. “And since you are still single, you might as well come and see if you can hook a hot guy or two.”

“I have zero interest in any of the guys in this town, Elaine, you have known that for years.” You said, edging around a couple decked out in leather.

“What are you talking about, Viv, we just moved back here… You haven’t had the time to check any of the guys out. What is wrong with your southern charm?”

“I’m from Colorado.” You stated as the announcer started speaking and the crowd’s cheers intensified.

“From Red Feather Lakes, Colorado,” This was going to be a slap in the face, you just knew it. Your eyes flickered to the entryway where the fighters emerged before shooting right back to the ring. “Standing six foot three, weighing in at 195 pounds, I bring you… Ben Miller!”

Rock music started playing, and forcing your eyes away from the wired fence in front of you, you looked at Ben. You don’t think your brain had quite caught up to what the announcer had said because your eyes nearly bulged at how tall Ben had become. He was over six foot, and not by a slim margin.

Benjamin Miller had grown to be a giant. 

While Deanna and Elise gushed over both Ben and the other fighter as they got ready for their match, your stomach twisted and a bitter taste settled in the back of your throat. Even after all these years, and misplaced teenage anger, old feelings surfaced. Worst timing ever.

The match started and with it, the bloody noses and red faces came, making you wince every time Ben’s opponent landed a hit in. But with each hit he took, Ben hit back, harder. You had heard that he had gone into the military, following his brothers footsteps. The military had taught him well.

He was going at a pretty even pace, listening to what William was shouting from the other side of the cage. You had finally gotten desensitized to the sounds of the punches and was staring into the cage with an unimpressed look on your face. Your initial shock was over, now you were questioning if men really beat each up for a living. Apparently they did.

While the two duked it out in the cage, you could have sworn Will’s eyes connected with yours from across the cage. But he couldn’t have recognized you, could he? It had been years since you had last seen each other.

The Miller boys were seriously fucking with your brain, and you didn’t like it.

“Better make mine a double,” You told Deanna. She was getting the first round of shots, and as a woman who traditionally didn’t do shots, asking for a double was trouble. But after a night of being under the scrutiny of Will, and the brief but most definitely eye contact, moment you had with Ben, you were feeling the need for alcohol.

So while you tried not to wallow in self misery, you listened to Elise talk about her latest sexcapade with a man named Renaldo. In all honesty, you were trying to pay attention, but the most you did was rest your chin in your hand and blankly stare at her while she rambled on.

“So when Jessica called with news, I just…” Deanna came back over with the drinks, and set two shot glasses in front of you. She shimmied her way into the booth next to you and you each picked up and shot.

“Alright, to Elise’s Renaldo, hope that Vivian’s sex life turns around soon, and Tanks hot ass!” Deanna crowed. The three of you clicked your drinks together and knocked back the shots. The alcohol burned its way down your throat, and with a grimace, you set the little glass back on the counter top.

“Whoo! Let’s get this party started!” Elise sang out. Hopefully the alcohol that you had just knocked back would soon help the growing headache you could feel. While Elise and Deanna giggled and gossiped their way through the first hour of the night, you were content to sit there and stew in old memories.

“Ooh! Hotties at one o’clock! There’s a whole group of them!” Deanna chirped next to you. Feeling inclined to lift your gaze to whoever she had spotted. Three men all crowded around the same table, talking with each other… and you knew one of them, and where Will went, Benny always followed. Which meant he was floating around here somewhere… Now was a good time for your second shot…

Grumbling to yourself, your hand reached for the shot you had left waiting an hour ago and you quickly knocked it back.

“Planning on making a move?” Deanna asked, wiggling her eyebrows at you. “Cause I could’ve sworn I caught them looking over here a few times. We have some attention!”

“No,” You said sternly, rubbing your forehead. “Don’t even think about it, Deanna. I did not come here looking for anyone and I am not interested in one night stands or hook ups.”

“It’s called living, Vivian, you should try it some time.” You rolled your eyes at her and turned your gaze to the dance floor where Elise was shimmying with who had to be Renaldo. At least she looked like she was having fun.

“That reminds me, how did you end up dating someone named Tank?” You asked loudly over the music. Deanna waved her hand at you while sipping her latest drink.

“It’s a nickname!” She responded loudly. “He was in the army, you know how those things go!”

No, you did not, but you nodded in agreement anyway. Stirring the melting ice in your ice water, you took a big gulp of it. You never were a fan of alcohol, and certainly didn’t like the effects of it. Hangovers were a bitch and college was a lesson well learned.

“So how serious are they?” You questioned Deanna. “Because the drama I’ve heard through the vine hasn’t been good… and what is it even like dating an MMA fighter?”

“Summer fling?”

“It’s November, Deanna.” You reminded her while tapping your heel on the floor.

“So a Winter fling then, who cares, she’s having fun and that’s what matters.”

“Do you really want to deal with a heart broken Elise at the end of this? Because after her last break, I know for a fact it is going to be a nightmare!” Deanna was waving you off again. There was no point in arguing with her about flings so you let it drop. Picking up your water, you drank the rest of it before gesturing to the back of the bar. “I’m going to go to the bathroom, don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone.”

“I make no promises” Deanna sang. You slipped from the booth, shouldering your purse and keeping it close to your body, you headed for the back of the bar. You had to weave around half drunk patrons and party goers from the MMA matches, and dodge wandering hands from men and woman a like who had one too many drinks already.

“This is exactly why I don’t go to these things.” You muttered while slapping a set of hands away from your ass. Just because your ass looked good in these black jeans, does not mean that the goods were open to touch. Managing to make it to the quieter back, you flittered your into the woman’s bathroom.

It was mostly empty and after you had relieved your bladder, you had space to sidle on up to the counter in front of mirror to wash your hands and redo the red lipstick you had smeared since lunch. Leaning forwards, you untwisted the lipstick tube and reapplied the intense red lipstick.

It had been a bitch to keep your white blouse clean and free of any color, so the fact that you had made it all the way to this hour with it still nice and white was pretty impressive if you must say. Your choice in a black and white outfit this morning hadn’t been planned, but it sure made for an interesting day at the office. You had been dodging pens, flying coffee, and whiteboard markers all day.

At least you looked good in black jeans and a white blouse, no need to run home and change before getting dragged to the MMA matches. You tucked the lipstick back into your purse and took one last look at your makeup from this morning. Other than your lipstick getting smudged off throughout the day, it had survived quite well.

Now you just needed to survive a night at a bar, and hopefully come out with minimal staining on your shirt.

Your heels clicked on the tile as you headed back to the door, and emerging from the woman’s bathroom, you were blasted with the latest song playing over the radio.

“Hey there Vivian! Didn’t know you liked to party!” Your eye twitched as you came to a stop and turned partway on your heel.

“Hi, Glenn,” You said, trying not to sound annoyed by his mere presence. The older man from work came slinking over, beer bottle in his hand. He had a bad habit of flirting with any female he came across and you had the unfortunate circumstance of having an office near his.

“What brings you by?” Glenn asked, leaning against the wall.

“I’m with Deanna and Elise, they convinced me to go to the MMA matches tonight.” You explained shortly, hoping that you could cut this off as quickly as possible.

“MMA, living on the wild side, Vivian,” Glenn said while wiggling his eyebrows. “How bout I buy you a drink? You look like you aren’t having any fun.”

“I think I’ve had enough to drink tonight, but thank you for the offer,” You told him, turning back to the main room.

“Come on, Viv, I won’t talk about work, promise!”

“My answer is no, Glenn, I’m sorry, but I’m not interested.” You took two steps toward the table only to be stopped by a harsh grip on your wrist. Your head snapped around so fast you might have given yourself whiplash as your eyes landed on the meaty fingers holding your wrist captive.

“One drink, don’t tell me you won’t even have one drink.” Glenn huffed. Your gaze narrowed and you tugged at your wrist. He gripped it tighter.

“I said no, Glenn.” You repeated evenly. “Now let me go, and leave me be before you do something you’re going to regret.”

He snorted.

“Are you threatening me?” His grip tightened to the point where you felt pain, that was crossing a line and you were only going to give him one last chance to leave.

“No, I’m telling you that you need to remove your hand from my wrist and leave me alone.” Your even tone only seemed to piss him off more, because a few seconds after you had spoken and his intoxicated brain registered what you had said, he was giving your wrist a hard squeeze. 

Pulling your right hand back, your fingers curled into a fist and you were throwing it forward, nailing Glenn right in the nose. Your wrist was released and he fell straight back onto his ass, dropping his beer and clutching at his now bleeding nose.

“You fucking broke my nose!” Glenn howled, trying to stem the blood dripping between his fingers. It had gotten quiet, the music blaring throughout the bar, but you were more concerned about getting your point across than onlookers.

“Stop bitching, your nose is fine,” You said as you shook your hand out, your knuckles stinging slightly. “That was a warning, Glenn. Don’t push me, because next time? I will break your nose.”

Glenn scrambled to his feet, spitting out curses. His hate filled eyes glared at you as he went to hurry past you, slamming his shoulder into yours as he went. He muttered one last insult before disappearing into the crowd.

“Fucking prude bitch.” Childish name calling. You had hurt his pride and certainly made a fool of him in front of the entire bar. But hopefully he got your point loud and clear.

“Glad to see you didn’t forget how to throw a punch.” Your head twisted to see Will leaning against the end of the bar.

“William,” You greeted before looking down your red knuckles. It had been ages since you had done any boxing, and your knuckles had gone soft.

“William? You only call me that when I’ve pissed you off.” Rolling your eyes, you set your eyes on his. “What’ve I done this time?”

“Hi Will,” You said, readjusting your greeting. “Is that better?”

“Yeah, you still sound pissed off at me and I haven’t seen you since I shipped out.” He said while crossing his arms across his wide chest. You stared at each other for a few seconds more. Will nodded his chin at you. “Why’d you drop off the end of the earth, Viv? You and Benny were inseparable, but then I hear that you two got into a fight and stopped talking. Over a decade is an awfully long time to ignore your other half.”

“He’s not my other half,” You huffed underneath your breath. Will snorted in disagreement.

“Yeah, he is. Don’t argue with me, Vivian, I just want to know what happened.”

“We got into an argument, didn’t speak for the rest of high school. Benny went chasing after you. I got out of Colorado and moved on.” Will had his eyebrow up at you. You sighed and rolled your eyes, pinching your forehead. “I can’t even remember why we were arguing.”

“It was probably over something stupid, like your boyfriend.” You let out a chuckle and shook your head. “Come on, Vivian, my friends have been nagging me since they found out about you, put me out of my misery?”

“Since when do you need to be put out of your misery?” You asked him, your eyebrow popping up.

“I’ll buy you a beer, and don’t refuse, after that punch you deserve one.”

“As long as you’re paying.” You replied, your lips twitching. Will ordered a beer and handed you the bottle before leading you over to his friends. Walking up to them, you eyed Will. “Are all of your friends freakishly big?”

“You’re just tiny, Viv, this is Santiago Garcia or Pope, and Fransisco Morales better known as Catfish,” Will said, gesturing to the two men. “Guys, this is Vivian, my best friend, so stop giving me shit about her.”

“Vivian with the badass punch…” Pope spoke before grinning. “Who taught you how to punch like that?”

“Benny and I did,” Will answered with a wide smile. “Spent an entire summer teaching Viv how to box. Seems it finally came in handy.”

“Glenn flirts with anything that has tits,” You huffed before taking a drink of your beer. “It was only a matter of time before I had to knock him on his ass.”

“So how do you know our boys? Will won’t tell us anything.” Catfish asked, fishing for information. You and Will exchanged looks.

“We were neighbors in Colorado,” You answered. “Been best friends with the Miller brothers since I was in diapers.”

“So why did you split then? You aren’t completely cut off in the army.” Your beer bottle paused on its way to your lips and you found yourself staring off into space, your mind reliving the verbal clash you and Benny had. It was the last time either of you spoke to each other.

“Ben and I got into an explosive argument early on in high school.” You said softly, looking down at your fingers gripping the beer bottle. “It was probably over something stupid like my then boyfriend. Benny never liked any of the boys I dated. Didn’t speak to each other for the rest of school, and haven’t spoken since then.”

“Of course he didn’t like any of your boyfriends,” Will huffed out. “He wanted you all to himself.”

“Hmm,” You sounded, drumming your fingernails on glass. There was no way Benny had ever liked you like that. Not once had he ever indicated that he liked you more than as his best friend. There was also no point in trying to get your hopes up. “If that’s what you want to believe.”

“You think I’m lying, Viv?” Will asked, raising his eyebrow at you. “I know my brother.”

“So do I, Will.” You reminded him. “That’s why I stopped dating.”

“Oh no, you’re much too lovely to be alone, Chiquita.” Pope stated. You shrugged at him.

“It’s easier, can’t get hurt if you don’t get attached.”

“You ever tried drinking your problems away? I know your mother was an alcoholic and that is the last thing I want to see you turn into.” Will asked, concern now on his face. You looked to him and shook your head.

“Getting drunk never chased the tears or memories away, so why bother?” You said before giggling. “My friends like to joke that I’m emotionally constipated. That’s probably true.”

“You are not emotionally constipated, Viv.”

“We’ll agree to disagree,” You said, shrugging before setting your empty beer bottle down. “Haven’t had a relationship since high school and my friends tell me that I need to loosen up, get laid or something along the lines. Hence why they brought me along tonight.”

“You gonna hook up with anyone then? You’ve been getting looks all night, even I know you grew up beautiful, kid.”

“Not a kid anymore, Willy,” You snipped back at him, poking fun at him by using your childhood nickname. He winced at the leering looks from Pope and Catfish. “And no, not my thing. I’m just here to make sure my friends get their Uber without killing themselves. Which reminds me…” You looked down at your watch. “I’ve got to pack those two up, they’ve got a work event tomorrow at twelve.” 

“Work on the weekend?” Pope asked, his eyebrow rising.

“They are in the marketing department.” You explained as you re-shouldered your purse and checked that you had everything. “Weekend gigs are their thing.”

Heading over to the two giggling and clearly drunk woman, you checked their phones and saw that the pre ordered Ubers were less than a minute away.

“Alright, time to go,” You announced, steering them towards the bar doors. Deanna was controllable, Elise, however, was slinging her arm around your neck.

“Viv! You seriously need to find a hot man to date! Haven’t you been single long enough!” She practically shouted in your ear.

“No need to shout, Elise, I can hear you perfectly fine.” You told her while holding the door open for her. “Now, you see that red car? That’s your Uber, she’ll take you home.”

Elise tottered towards the red car while you turned back to Deanna.

“Viv, Viv we haven’t paid our tab,” She slurred, lurching slightly.

“I’m covering it, don’t worry about.” You told her. “Just go home and get some rest, okay?”

Deanna bobbed her head before looking around with wide eyes. When she was drunk, she wasn’t as hard to handle as Elise, which made it far easier to get her home.

“Which—which one is mine?”

“The silver one,” You pointed out, directing her to the next car waiting. “I’ll see you Monday, okay?”

With both Deanna and Elise shipped off to their homes, you went back to the bar and paid for the tab. It wasn’t that bad since the two were more interested in dancing with hot men. Everything had been paid for, and you had left nothing behind, so you started for the doors.

“Hey Viv,” You briefly paused and looked back at the corner the three men were tucked away in. “You gonna leave me your number so we don’t go another ten plus years without talking?”

You studied Will for a moment before pressing your lips together and looking down at your feet. Giving him your number, that meant Benny might have access to it, which meant you might have another explosive fight… which you wouldn’t be able to take.

“I think it might be best if I didn’t, I’d like to leave on good terms.” You spoke out slowly. “It was nice to see you again Will, I’ll see you around.”

You headed for the doors, pulling out your phone to check to see if any remaining Uber’s were in the area.

The three men watched as you quietly left the bar, a cloud of sadness and repression hanging over her head.

“I swear to God if you don’t go after her, Benny, I will.” Pope spoke up, shooting his sulky friend, who had spent the night in a dark corner of the bar, a look. Benny, who had admittedly hidden himself away just so he could watch you relax for the night, rubbed his aching face in indecisiveness.

“Ben,” Will spoke up. “Either you go after her now, or you lose her forever.”

Benny shot his brother a look before lurching to his feet.

“She might break my nose for this.” Benny huffed as he quickly passed his brother and friends.

Squinting at your phone in the darkness of night, you ignored the little dribbles of rain from the skies. All the Uber’s seemed to be in use right now… you could probably go and check Lyft, see anyone is out an about there. Just as you opened the Lyft app, you heard the bar door open and the crunch of gravel. You already knew who it was.

“Seriously Will,” You spoke up before turning halfway around. “I told you that I—“

That wasn’t Will.

Your heart fluttered nervously in your chest while your red lips trembled slightly. You pressed them together to stop their shaking.

“Benny,” You greeted in a whisper.

“Hi Vivian,” Benny responded. “Noticed you didn’t give Will your number, you mad at him too?”

“Mad?” You repeated in question. Letting out a wilted chuckle, you shook your head. “No, not mad, never was, except maybe for like an hour after that conversation.”

“Yeah, but you still stayed away.”

“So did you,” You countered. You were at an impasse once again, and the moody dark skies overhead were only getting worse, the rain drops increasing their pace. “Truth be told, Benny, I can’t even remember why we had that explosive argument. I’m assuming it probably had to do with one of my boyfriends.”

“Probably, I hated all of them.” Benny snorted, shrugging his broad shoulders.

“Which I never understood, Benny, it’s not like they treated me badly,” You said while waving your hand. You really never could figure out why he hated them so much, all your boyfriends had been nice enough and your break ups didn’t hurt nearly as much as when you and Benny had fought and broken your friendship.

“I know, I was a dick and I can’t take that back.” He explained, rubbing jaw. “So if you wanna break my nose, go ahead. I just don’t wanna lose you again.”

Lose me?

“Benny, why did you hate them?” His grey eyes stared into yours like that of a puppy. A six foot three, giant puppy.

“I hated them because I love you, and not like a sister.” Benny admitted. “Fell in love when you drop kicked the older Seamus twin for yanking on Marcie Blake’s pig tails and got suspended. You are a hard girl to forget, Vivian.”

Benny… was in love with you.

You were marching right up to him, and for the second time that night, your fist was flying. Your knuckles stung as they connected with Benny’s jaw, and while his head snapped to the side and he took a step back, you waved out your now really hurting hand, cursing a blue streak.

“I deserved that.” Benny said while wrinkling his nose and tenderly touching it.

“You are the biggest idiot in the world, Benjamin Miller!” You hissed at him, clutching your pulsating hand to your chest. “I’ve loved you since kindergarten, you idiot!”

“What?” Benny asked dumbly, which for a man who had taken all AP courses and was a pretty much a genius, was surprising. Usually he was quick to the draw with his words. Grabbing the front of his KISS shirt with your non injured hand, you yanked the giant down to your level.

“I’ve. Loved. You. Since. Kindergarten. You. Idiot!” You shouted at him, enunciating each word. You then jabbed your finger at the windows of the bar. “Even Will knows!”

“Okay, I’m an idiot, and I forgiven?” He questioned, his grey eyes boring into yours. He certainly had mastered the puppy eyed look in the last decade because you caved instantly beneath his pleading gaze. Your anger melted like ice cream in one hundred degree weather.

“Benny, I forgave you years ago.” You whispered breathlessly.

“Thank fuck,” Benny breathed out before raising his hands and sliding his fingers across your cheeks. His fingers dug into your loose bun and with the skies quickly opening up to a typical Florida storm, Benny pulled your face up and smashed his lips against yours.

Your eyes were instantly falling shut while Benny’s hot lips kissed you with the intention of making up all those years you had missed. His mouth was just as commanding as his gaze and his body pressed against yours seared through your rain soaked blouse. Fingers that had been grasping at fabric loosened and without direction traveled up until you had them sinking into his hair.

Even with Benny towering over you with all his threatening muscles, you never felt safer than you did right now in his arms. You always felt safe with him, that hadn’t changed one bit. He released his hold in your hair and ran his hands down your back, quickly hoisted your body off the ground and further against his chest. Water was collecting your eyelashes and running off the ends, but even with all the rain pouring down Benny wasn’t deterred in the slightest.

He let out a sigh.

“I really wanna keep kissing you, but your shirt is completely see through now and the guys are watching.” Benny mumbled against your lips, moving his own to press a kiss on your nose. You let out small giggle.

“Jealous that they might get a view of the goods?” You countered.

“Fuck yes.” He huffed back. “You’re for my eyes, and my eyes only, Viv.”

“Well I don’t have a shirt to change into and I took a cab here…”

“My place…?” Benny offered.

“Only if you want.” He snorted and dropped you back to your feet before carefully spinning you around and leading you towards the parked cars.

“Yes, I want.” Benny’s muttered words brought a smile to your lips and while he made sure that you were completely hidden by his figure, his hand reached for yours and your fingers tangled together. He led you to his truck and leading you to the passengers side, helped you up into the cab before quickly skirting around the front and getting into the drivers side.

Benny turned the car on and got the heat blasting before reaching around the back of his seat and grabbing a hoodie.

“Put this on.” Your eyebrow popped up at his three worded demand, but you did as he asked because you were cold and wet. But rather than put it on over your wet blouse, your hands reached down for the hem of your soaked white shirt and you pulled it over your head. Benny’s eyes widened as he watched every movement you made, and dropping your wet shirt to the floor, you pulled the soft and warm sweatshirt over your bra.

“Happy?” You asked. Benny blinked at you.

“Damn you look hot wearing my sweatshirt.” Your eyebrow popped up in confusion.

“How? I’m completely covered…” Benny shrugged his shoulders with side grin.

“You don’t have to be showing the goods to be hot, Vivian.” That was… surprisingly mature. Your lips curved upwards into a gentle smile as you propped your elbow on the window and leaned your head into your palm. While Benny started driving, you took a moment to study him. Or at least studied the features you could see in the dark.

He had grown up, but he hadn’t changed, not one little bit. He still had that lovable smile and those glittering eyes filled with mischief. Did his hugs still feel just as safe and comforting as they had in middle school? Would time with him still feel just as effortless as it had when you were kids?

“I can tell you’re thinking hard.” Benny said, glancing at you.

“Just wondering if your hugs would still feel just as safe and comforting as I remember them being. I’ve missed the feeling.” You answered quietly. Benny didn’t automatically respond to your words.

“Fuckkkkkk, babe,” Benny finally sighed out, his fingers wrapping around the steering wheel in a tighter grip. “You are killing me…”

“How?” You asked. Benny came to a stop at a red light and looked at you.

“It is taking all of my will power not to pull over, drag you onto my lap, and hug you right now. If I could keep you in my arms for every second of the day, I would.” You stared at each other until the glow of red turned green, and Benny continued driving. “You can have all the fucking hugs you want, Vivian.”

“Careful, I might exploit that.”

“You won’t hear me complaining.”

It had been a mad dash from where Benny parked to his apartment, and even then you still had gotten soaked with rain by the time the two of you got to the safety of his apartment. Your hair had become wet again and your shivers more pronounced.

“Where did my Colorado girl go?” Benny teased, water dripping from his hair. You sent him a playful glare. “Kidding, come ere’.”

You stepped up to Benny and he reached for the hem of the rain soaked sweatshirt you wore. He pulled it up over your body, leaving you shivering in your bra, before reaching for his own shirt. Benny’s KISS shirt was off his body and thrown to the side, and before you knew it he had his muscular arms wrapped around your body and was tugging against his chest.

A sated moan left your lips the moment his incredibly warm skin touched your chilled one, and you were immediately leaning into his embrace, your own arms reaching up to wrap your own arms around his waist.

“Ohmygod, you’re so warm,” You sighed out, pressing your face into his chest. “That is so unfair.”

“How?” Benny chuckled, his face nuzzling the crown of your hair. “I get to have you this close, seems pretty fair to me.” 

Snorting at him, you shifted your head so your cheek was pressed over the skin covering his heart. It still felt like a dream that he was right here with his arms around your body.

“Next time the two of us get into a fight, can we please just sit down like responsible adults and talk about it?” You asked hoarsely. “Because I can’t go through another decade without you.”

“Promise, but I have a feeling Will would kick my ass if I ever hurt you again.” Giggling, you pulled back and settled your hand on his cheek.

“Good, it’s painful fighting with my best friend.” You said softly while running your thumb along his jaw line. Benny stared down at you with an infectious look of adoration and self-content that made your heart swell with warmth.

“Can I kiss you again?” Your heart, which was already dripping, completely melted.

“You don’t need to ask to kiss me, Benny,” You told him.

“I don’t want to upset you any more than I already have.” Benny said with an indiscernible look in his eye.

“What will upset me is you not kissing me,” You retorted, an eyebrow raised in challenge.

“Well, I can’t have that,” He breathed out, sliding a hand up your side to take your face in hand. He was then swooping in to capture your mouth once more as you giggled. Benny’s mouth was instantly searching for that silent intimacy which burned like wild fire.

Even as your own fingers reached up and tangled in his hair, curling around the strands, you could feel Benny’s wide grin against your lips and the happiness that exuded from every pore in his body.  God this man was adorable, a certified puppy.

With Benny’s hand pressing into your back, you felt his fingers softly tailing over your muscles and tracing your spine. Shuddering in his arms from both the feel of his mouth and his touch you would have completely melted if there hadn’t been a crack of thunder that rattled your bones. While you jumped in place, startled by the sudden noise, the lights in Benny’s apartment flickered and turned off.

Benny groaned against your lips before leaning his head back with a sigh.

“You have got to be kidding me.” He complained, letting out most dramatic moan you had ever heard. Laughing, you stroked your fingers down his jaw.

“This happen a lot?” You asked, giving Benny a soft, reassuring smile.

“On occasion,” Benny huffed out, his annoyance still clear on his face despite the lack of light. “Manager has been telling us that they’ll get the wires fixed but in reality he’s just bull shitting us tenants into freezing our asses off during the winter.”

“Think positively, Ben,” You reminded him with a teasing grin. “It means you get to keep me warm with your body heat.” 

He blinked down at you for a moment. Then a sly smirk was stretching across his lips.

“You’re a naughty woman, Vivian.” Benny said as your grin turned devious.

“Naughty woman is also cold,” You ever so helpfully added.

Hook. Line. Sinker.

For a six foot three man build of solid muscle, he sure moved silently and quickly. You were lifted up against his chest and Benny was swiftly moving through his apartment. You didn’t know how he could see through the darkness, but he made it to his bedroom without trouble and deposited you on his bed.

You let out another laugh before finding it smothered by his hungry lips. While your hands held his face and your fingers slowly slipped into his hair, your lips eagerly fed Benny’s ravenous ones. His hands slipped down your naked sides and then fingers loped in the belt loops of your jeans. Benny unapologetically jerked on the belt loops, lifting your hips up so your waists clashed together.

Your lips separated as you softly groaned and pressed your head back into bedsheets. Good lord this man felt divine and you both still had pants on. Benny let out a chuckle, dipping his head down and running his sinful lips along your neck, his fingers slowly stroking the skin just above your jeans.

“Benny,” You moaned out, dragging one of your hands through his fluffy locks and down his neck. “Stop teasing,”

Teeth scraped against your neck and hot breath tickled your chilled skin while Benny’s mouth made sure every inch of your neck got a taste of his teasing. You squirmed beneath him, your body arching into his while your fingers dug into the planes of his shoulders.

“D’you know how many years I’ve been dreamin’ about this? About you?” Benny murmured, running his lips along your collar bone. “M’ bein’ thorough.”

“Thorough my ass,” You huffed out. “You can pick me apart later. Right now I am so wet I feel like I need to scream, fix that before I fix it myself.”

Benny paused for a second and looked you in the eye, his eyebrow raised. You gave him a look that only made the smirk on his face widen. But Benny didn’t leave you hanging and pulled back, his fingers slipping down your body to the buttons of your jeans. Your eyes remained connected with his as he unbuttoned your jeans and as Benny started pulling them down your legs, you lifted your hips.

As the black jeans were pulled from your legs, you wiggled your ankles in his grasp, loving the way his hands felt against your skin. With your jeans dropped to the floor, Benny started working on his own to which you happily enjoyed watching every little movement. Your eyes watched his hands push his jeans down his hips and as Benny kicked his jeans to the side you raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘continue’. Benny, being the teasing ass he was, took his sweet damn time and when he was finally naked you could have sworn you started drooling.

But your view disappeared quickly as Benny was back on you, tugging on your own underwear. You didn’t even have time to feel self conscious about your body because Benny had your underwear off your body and disappearing faster than you could blink. At least the power was out which meant he could only see so much. While your skin prickled from the cold air, Benny dipped down and pressed his lips against your knee and then up your inner thigh as he traveled his way up your body.

Benny’s nose brushed across your pelvic bone and you twitched in place while letting out a small squeal when he lazily flicked his tongue threw your folds.

“Benny!” You gasped out, your back arching off the bed for a moment. Benny let out a chuckle and pressed one last sweltering kiss to your hip before moving on. His eyes met yours once more.

“Come on, Viv, I just wanted a taste.” Benny teased, swiping his tongue across his lower lip. You didn’t even have time to be flustered because Benny’s hands slipped around your sides and unhooked your bra. You were completely naked in seconds and Benny’s mouth was back on yours. You were melting like Icarus’s wings beneath sinfully addictive lips and yet you couldn’t help but fly closer to the sun.

Your hands slipped across Benny’s shoulders and you tugged him closer. Benny’s own hands started running across your body, exploring the curves and dips until you were shivering in anticipation rather than chill.

“Would you fuck me already?” You huffed out against his lips. Benny’s lips curved against mine and his hands slipped across your skin until he was gripping your hips.

“Pushy, pushy,” Benny teased you and you scowled at him, but your scowl didn’t stay on your face for long. With a few quick shifts of your bodies, Benny was sliding himself into you all too easily. The breath rushed out of your body in seconds as your body took every single inch Benny had to offer all to easily. His hands slid upwards once more, so slowly in fact that a small whine slipped from your lips. Benny was quick to remedy by cupping the side of your face and sealing his mouth back over yours.

You were happy to return the nips and tugs, chasing after Benny’s kisses with sharp ones of your own. Your bodies seemed to melt together and that heat you so wanted now burned in your body, rather than against your skin. Benny’s lips finally separated from your lips and trailed down your neck, he reached your chest and sealed his lips over a nipple. You gasped and grabbed fistfuls of his hair.

Benny’s mouth was torture and between his hot lips and his cock repeatedly thrusting into your body, you were quickly squirming beneath Benny’s body. You hadn’t been lying when you said you were wet and Benny was taking care of your need more than adequately. Sliding your fingers through his hair, you shifted a hand down his neck and began digging your nails into his back.

You were probably leaving marks, but then again, Benny was leaving marks on your breasts like a man on a mission to stake his territory. You jerked in place again, this time feeling electricity fire through your veins when Benny managed to hit a spot within you that made your back arch straight off the bed. Breathing heavily and knowing you were close to the pleasure you both wanted, you pushed Benny’s further against your skin and closed your eyes.

You listened to the sounds coming from him and only felt yourself becoming more alive from them. Benny let out a groan, shifting his head so his lips were now pressed against your neck. Benny’s thrusts started to falter and with one final one that you felt straight to your spine, you both passed and groaned in an ecstasy of shivers and warmth.

Benny’s body partially slumped against yours and you began stroking your fingers through his hair, out of breath. Despite the cold temperature of the room, you felt like you were sweltering from the inside out.

“Vivian,” Benny groaned against your neck. “Why do you have to be so fuckin’ perfect?”

You snorted at his words.

“I’d argue with you but I’m really tired at the moment.” Benny hummed against your skin.

“Tired? Well you better rest up sweetheart because I am only just getting started.” You moan at the thought because if Benny was thinking what you were pretty sure he was thinking, you were in for a long night.

Last night had been equal parts over-whelming and satisfying. You weren’t sure how many rounds you and Benny had partook, but by the end you were exhausted and content to fall asleep in his arms. Which you had. Come morning you found yourself tucked away in his bed, by yourself. At some point you were vaguely aware of Benny getting up and tucking the blankets around your body to save off the chill.

No you were on your back staring at the ceiling and trying to decide if you wanted to get out of your little bubble of heat for the heavenly scent of freshly brewed coffee. Worth it. Sighing out, you dragged the covers away from your body and moved yourself into a sitting position. Looking down at yourself, you didn’t even have the energy to be embarrassed by the number of marks on your skin from Benny’s mouth. He was possessive by nature.

Standing up, you found that Benny had picked up your discarded clothes and neatly folded and placed them on his dresser. The first thing you did was pull on your underwear, but that was the extend of your clothing you bothered to wear. No, you wanted to stay comfortable so you raided Benny’s dresser until you found a nice soft shirt you could wear. You pulled the shirt on over your head and ventured out of the bedroom to get a cup of coffee.

Benny’s apartment wasn’t large and it was easy to find the kitchen, so while you made a bee line for the coffee maker and started fixing yourself a mug, you started picking up on the fact that there were voices coming from the living room. At least you recognized the voices from last night.

Stirring in the creamer into your coffee, you walked from the kitchen to the living room entrance and leaned against the wall. Will, Pope, and Catfish were over, and no doubt giving Benny shit just because that’s what military men did to each other.

“No, that’s—“ Benny sighed from where he sat on his couch, rubbing his chin.

“She flat out punched you in the face, man.” Catfish snorted while shaking his head. “Was that before or after you cleared things with her?”

“Before,” You spoke up before Benny could respond. Four heads swirled you way and you couldn’t help but enjoy the way eyes bulged out of their sockets. Catfish at least pulled down his hat while his cheeks turned red. Flickering your eyes to Will you saw him with his eyes closed and knew he was probably counting to ten in his head. Pope was just blatantly staring.

“Vivian,” Benny groaned out.  You held up your free hand as you took a sip of your coffee.

“I’m gonna stop you there, Ben,” You told him before addressing the others. You gestured to your face. “The amount of fucks I currently give about my current state of dress is at zero, we can further address it after I’ve had my coffee.”

“I knew I liked her when I met her,” Catfish mumbled, keeping his gaze glued to the floor. Pope let out a snort and then grinned, slapping Benny on the shoulder from where he sat adjacent to him in the lounge chair.

“You know how to pick em’, Benny.” Benny sighed before holding out a hand. You walked over and plopped yourself across his lap, careful not to spill any of your coffee. While sipped your coffee and leaned against Benny’s chest, he placed a hand on your thigh and started stroking your skin with his thumb.

“I’m going to assume you two made up and everything is okay?” Will asked, rubbing his forehead. You and Benny glanced at each other.

“Well considering that Benny now knows he’s been an idiot, yes, I think so.” You stated, giggling slightly as Benny gave your neck a little bite at your jab. You huffed. “Don’t bite me! You know I am right, Benjamin Miller!”

Benny sighed into your neck and you took that as a sign of defeat and smiled before reaching up with your free hand and patted his hair.

“Now that-that is clear, I think I’d like to get to know your friends a little better.”

“You’ll have no arguments there, they haven’t shut up about you since they arrived.” Benny said, continuing to trail his fingers over your leg. Your eyebrow popped up and with a smile, you wrapped your arm around his neck, turning back to the two men, eager to get to know them.

Date Published: 7/3/22

Last Edit: 7/3/22

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

Queer Books November 2023

🌈 Good afternoon, my bookish bats! Struggling to keep up with all the amazing queer books coming out this month? Here are a FEW of the stunning, diverse queer books you can add to your TBR before the year is over. Remember to #readqueerallyear! Happy reading!

❤️ The Pirate and the Porcelain Girl by Emily Riesbeck 🧡 Heading North by Holly M. Wendt 💛 The Wisdom of Bug by Alyson Root 💚 Trick Shot by Kayla Grosse 💙 A Holly Jolly Christmas by Emily Wright 💜 Outdrawn by Deanna Grey ❤️ Yours Celestially by Al Hess 🧡 The Christmas Memory by Barbara Winkes 💛 Violet Moon by Mel E. Lemon 💙 The Santa Pageant by Lillian Barry 💜 Only for the Holidays by Shannon O’Connor 🌈 Homestead for the Holidays by Wren Taylor

❤️ You Can Count on Me by Fae Quin 🧡 No One Left But You by Tash McAdam 💛 The Worst Thing of All is the Light by José Luis Serrano, Lawrence Schimel 💚 Today Tonight Forever by Madeline Kay Sneed 💙 Wren Martin Ruins It All by Amanda DeWitt 💜 Emmett by L. C. Rosen ❤️ Finding My Elf by David Valdes 🧡 Tonight, I Burn by Katharine J. Adams 💛 Gorgeous Gruesome Faces by Linda Cheng 💙 Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree 💜 A Power Unbound by Freya Marske 🌈 We Are the Crisis by Cadwell Turnbull

❤️ The Manor House Governess by C.A. Castle 🧡 You Owe Me One, Universe by Chad Lucas 💛 Last Night at the Hollywood Canteen by Sarah James 💚 Skip!: A Graphic Novel by Rebecca Burgess 💙 Something About Her by Clementine Taylor 💜 Touching the Art by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore ❤️ A Nearby Country Called Love by Salar Abdoh 🧡 Normporn: Queer Viewers and the TV That Soothes Us by Karen Tongson 💛 Sir Callie and the Dragon’s Roost by Esme Symes-Smith 💙 The Order of the Banshee by Robyn Singer 💜 Once Upon My Dads’ Divorce by Seamus Kirst, Noémie Gionet Landry 🌈 Forsooth by Jimmy Matejek-Morris

❤️ A Common Bond by T.M. Kuta 🧡 Risk the Fall by Riley Hart 💛 Just a Little Snack by Yah-Yah Scholfield 💚 Home for the Holidays by Erin Zak 💙 NeurodiVeRse by MJ James 💜 Dark Heir (Dark Rise #2) by C.S. Pacat ❤️ sub/Dom by Rab Green 🧡 Bitten by the Bond by Elaine White 💛 Heir to Frost and Storm by Ben Alderson 💙 The Sea of Stars by Gwenhyver 💜 Bad Beat by L.M. Bennett 🌈 Idol Moves by K.T. Salvo

❤️ Plot Twist by Erin La Rosa 🧡 In the Pines by Mariah Stillbrook 💛 The Crimson Fortress (The Ivory Key #2) by Akshaya Raman 💚 Only She Came Back by Margot Harrison 💙 Megumi & Tsugumi, Vol. 4 by Mitsuru Si 💜 Pritty by Keith F. Miller Jr. ❤️ Just Lizzie by Karen Wilfrid 🧡 An Atlas to Forever by Krystina Rivers 💛 Come Find Me in the Midnight Sun by Bailey Bridgewater 💙 Bait and Witch by Clifford Mae Henderson 💜 Shadow Baron by Davinia Evans 🌈 Day by Michael Cunningham

❤️ Livingston Girls by Briana Morgan 🧡 Delay of the Game by Ari Baran 💛 The Nanny with the Nice List by K. Sterling 💚 A Talent Ignited by Suzanne Lenoir 💙 A Kiss of the Siren’s Song by E.A.M. Trofimenkoff 💜 Rivals for Love by Ali Vali ❤️ Whiskey & Wine by Kelly Fireside, Tana Fireside 🧡 Buried Secrets by Sheri Lewis Wohl 💛 Ride with Me by Jenna Jarvis 💙 Living for You by Jenny Frame 💜 Death on the Water by CJ Birch 🌈 Merciless Waters by Rae Knowles

❤️ Vicarious by Chloe Spencer 🧡 Sapling’s Depths by Spencer Rose 💛 That French Summer by Sienna Waters 💚 System Overload by Saxon James 💙 King of Death by Lily Mayne 💜 Warts and All by Ashley Bennett ❤️ Principle Decisions by Thea Belmont 🧡 The Best Mistake by Emily O’Beirne 💛 Sugar and Ice by Eule Grey 💙 Until The Blood Runs Dry by MC Johnson 💜 Splinter : A Diverse Sleepy Hollow Retelling by Jasper Hyde 🌈 The Mischievous Letters of the Marquise de Q by Felicia Davin

❤️ The Queer Girl is Going to be Okay by Dale Walls 🧡 Til Death Do Us Bard by Rose Black 💛 Leverage by E.J. Noyes 💚 Alice Sadie Celine by Sarah Blakley-Cartwright 💙 Godly Heathens by H.E. Edgmon 💜 Gwen & Art Are Not in Love by Lex Croucher ❤️ To Kill a Shadow by Katherine Quinn 🧡 Warrior of the Wind by Suyi Davies Okungbowa 💛 For Never & Always by Helena Greer 💙 A Demon’s Guide to Wooing a Witch by Sally Hawley 💜 Heaven Official’s Blessing: Tian Guan Ci Fu Vol. 8 by Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù 🌈 A Carol for Karol by Ann Roberts

[captainofthetidesbreath]

There's something fascinating with Deanna in that it feels to me like she is constantly eliding her own agency or absolving herself of having to accept responsibility for having made choices in many events in her life. It feels almost as if she is casting herself as a passive casualty and is reluctant to present herself as an active element against and in what has happened to her.

She frames herself as having been dragged back into the world of the living, but resurrection requires the soul be willing, that the soul make the choice to come back, and she must have made that choice to accept being brought back. She is emphatic that she did not choose Pelor and that she works as his cleric because she must help others despite how she feels, but it is a choice she made to have held on to that divine connection and to utilize it and to wear his symbols and work in his name instead of letting that pass and fade.

There is a sense for me at least that Deanna frames herself between these two choices as if she did not have one, as if these things simply happened to her without any engagement on her part. And, it's odd because it goes against what (ostensibly) appears to be the reality: that she chose to come back as the magic required, that she chose to seize upon the connection and the opportunity for power associated with it.

And I wonder how deep it goes. She says that her relationship with Chet ended before she wanted it to, and she seems to shift the burden of that on to him—but it was a summer fling while she was on vacation, and I do not know if she ever told him how she felt or made a gesture to preserve the relationship, I do not know if she made the choice to do nothing and let it end. Their relationship is so nebulous, and her feelings on it as presented contradictory (in a fun way).

But, I digress.

If Deanna really is constantly re-framing herself as if she is just a passive party in her own life, unreliably narrating her own lack of agency to us where she was indeed willing and decisive, I wonder why she does this. Is that she is scared to admit that she bears at least small amount of responsibility for shaping situations that make her unhappy? Does she find it easier to blame others, to blame the chaos of life, to believe that there was nothing she could do than it is to confront that she could have made different choices? Is it easier for her to blame gods she has no affinity for than it is to accept that agency and free will means the freedom to make her own mistakes and being accountable to herself for those decisions? Is it something else entirely?

I don't know, but I hope to find out.

[suzy-queued]

🪐⚡weekly tag wednesday⚡🪐

✨ it's that time again!! lets answer some really random questions for fun ✨

Thank you for the tag, @deedala

name: Deena (or, when Deanna and I merge, something like Deeeannna)

age: 49er

astrological sign: ♈

upon which continent do you reside: North America

tell us how you're feeling right now using 3-5 emojis: 🤩💦🧘‍♀️🐈❤️

whats your favorite flavor of gum? Cinnamon

whats the last movie you watched? Blade Runner, at the request of my younger son who had never seen it. I was proud of him for calling out Decker's non-con sex scene.

what was your worst subject in high school? English.

whats the job you stayed at for the shortest period of time? A couple of short-lived college summer jobs. One was assisting an interior decorator. One was a phone/customer service rep at a photo-finishing studio.

whats your favorite thing to do at an amusement park? Those big swings that go in a circle, where your feet are dangling down.

what condiments go on top of the perfect hot dog (meat or plant-based)? Spicy mustard and ketchup. I don't know anyone who actually puts mayo on a hot dog (looking at you, Cam and Noel).

cincinnati chili, thoughts? It tastes fine, but it reminds me of a very specific time in my life that I would rather forget.

do you sleep with a plushie? Nah, there are too many cats in the bed for that.

how do you feel about thunderstorms? Yes, please. Give me all of them. Every day. Dramatic lightning, hail, dark clouds, wind.

what's the last animal you touched? My sweet kitty Shadow who is on the mend after getting attacked by some animal. He has a hurt paw and is on antibiotics. He is loving and grateful that we are taking care of him.

grab the nearest item with words on it that ISNT a book and tell me the final word: "Knives!!" It's a coupon from my older son for him to sharpen all of our kitchen knives.

have you ever forgotten to do an assignment until the night before its due? Have I ever *not* done this?

I'll tag ... @francesrose3 @energievie @blue-disco-lights @doshiart @rereadanon

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Lwaxana Troi

By Ames

Lwaxana haters, see yourselves out (or stick around and see how wrong you are!), because A Star to Steer Her By loves our black-eyed Betazoid mama. She’s the daughter of the Fifth House, holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed, and also one of our favorite characters from The Next Generation!

Like Katharine Pulaski (whom we also stan with the best of them!), Lwaxana Troi is a character who gets way more hate than she deserves, who grew substantially every time she appeared on the show, and who has way more nuance than even some of the main characters we’ve discussed from the show so far! And that fashion sense? Holy cow. So pack your absurdly huge luggage, don your fluffiest wig, and meet up with us and Mr. Homn as we celebrate (and occasionally criticize) all things Lwaxana below and this week on the podcast (sashay over to 55:22 for the convo). We’re going on a manhunt!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Murderers! Assassins! While her first couple of appearances in TNG were fairly annoying, as you’ll see in our next section, the one thing Lwaxana gets emphatically right in “Manhunt” is figuring out the two Antedians the Enterprise was carrying are actually assassins. And she drops this information in the most nonchalant way possible, cementing her status as a major boss.

Release them and I will stay with you willingly Oh boy is “Ménage à Troi,” a tough episode to gauge. While it certainly has its lows (Lwaxana constantly crashing Deanna’s day, Ferengi shenanigans at their worst, and some sexual assault and implied rape swept under the rug), Mrs. Troi does put her daughter first and insists to Daimon Tog that Deanna and Will be released if she sacrifices herself like any mother would.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? The other great scene that Lwaxana inspires in “Ménage à Troi,” is one we mentioned in our Picard Spotlight post, when she and JL work together to trick the Ferengi into releasing her. Even from across viewscreens, she compels the beautiful diatribe of Shakespearean poetry from Jean-Luc that ends up saving the summer’s day!

What does that little one do, Mister Woof? I don’t know why, but it always tickles me the couple of times on the show that Lwaxana calls our Klingon security head “Mr. Woof” as she does in “Half a Life” and others. Is she doing it just to evoke a reaction from him? Does she actually know his name at all? Regardless of the answer, it’s a cute joke that the writers play.

It is the custom for your loved ones to join you at this Resolution, is it not? Our fuller opinion of the character really started getting formed once the show reached “Half a Life” – one of our TNG faves – and we got a different look at this man-hungry helicopter parent. Suddenly, Lwaxana has nuance. She fights for people other than herself or her immediate family. She becomes vulnerable with Timicin, something we didn’t think possible from her character. And when she decides to go with him to his Resolution, it feels personal, complex, and complete.

A child who is trusted becomes worthy of that trust We gave Deanna some rightful criticism for thinking that writing up a contract between Worf and Alexander would be a good idea in “Cost of Living,” and Lwaxana waltzes in like a fairy godmother and throws that terrible idea in their faces! Immediately, she knows how to better parent Alexander than anyone else on the show ever had, low bar that that is.

You’re telling me you’re not going to be naked at your own wedding? It feels like such a triumph for Lwaxana to so brazenly show up naked to her wedding in “Cost of Living,” fully embracing her Betazoid heritage and throwing her strong will and individuality in Campio’s and his little toady’s faces. Now why she was engaged to that uptight twat in the first place is another story, but good for her anyway!

Whatever it is, we can face it together Here’s an actually good moment she shares with her daughter: That tear-jerking moment in “Dark Page.” It’s another instance in which we see Lwaxana as having more personality traits than we were led to believe she had as she comes to acknowledge the death of her daughter Kestra, and also we see Majel Barrett nailing some acting we’d never seen from her before.

Nobody’s ever seen me like this By the time we reach Deep Space Nine, the writers have figured out what to do with Lwaxana Troi to make her an impactful character. Sure, she’s still a great comic device, especially against rigid characters like Picard and Odo, but it’s in the way that she is humanized (or Betazoidized?) in scenes like the truly remarkable turbolift scene in “The Forsaken” that she really shines.

Then sway with me, Odo. Sway with me. While Lwaxana’s constant pestering of Picard gets tiring really quickly, her relationship with Odo proves something more interesting. In one of those Odd Couple kind of pairings, she’s able to get Odo to come out of his shell, even if it’s just a little bit, so when she gets him to dance with her in “Fascination,” it’s delightful and shows more layers to their respective characters.

Before I met her, my world was a much smaller place Okay, so the weird inspiration vampire side of the plot of “The Muse” may be idiotic, but the Lwaxana-Odo scenes are pure gold. Lwaxana and Odo, again, find each other to be the only people they can be vulnerable with, and Odo agrees to marry a very pregnant Lwaxana to get her out of an existing marriage, delivering the purest, most intimate and beautiful speech we’ve heard from him (until Kira, at least).

Strut your stuff on the catwalk Finally, we just have to give massive points to her remarkable fashion sense. One of our favorites is this blue number from “Fascination,” with the perfect wig to complement it and accessories like whoa. Make sure you check out our full screenshot assemblage that we put together previously to give fair credit to the excellent costuming of this iconic woman.

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Worst moments

Momzillas gone wild Mrs. Troi is not without her faults, however, and most are man-related. How much pressure she puts on her daughter to get married is more than uncomfortable, it can get downright offensive. When the arranged marriage she initiated between Deanna and Wyatt comes due in “Haven,” it’s clear that this momzilla doesn’t always have her daughter’s best interests in mind; just her own.

Use your mind, not your mouth We also found it just plain rude how much Lwaxana insisted on communicating with Deanna telepathically in “Haven” and other episodes. a) Deanna has made it clear she’d rather speak out loud, and b) Picard and other crewmembers can’t hear what’s being said and that’s impolite, especially coming from someone of such standing in the Federation.

Oh, Jean-Luc, what naughty thoughts It becomes a running gag for the first couple appearances of Lwaxana how much she makes sexual advances on Captain Picard, who is just trying to do his job most of the time. But “Manhunt” really takes the cake for just going overboard with presumptuous behavior unbecoming for a woman of her stature. Leave the poor guy alone!

Until death us do part Later in “Manhunt,” it’s even grosser for Mrs. Troi to declare that she and Riker are to be wed. Whatever physiological state she was in is no excuse for how she goes out of her way to mortify her daughter, to put the moves on Deanna’s imzadi without consent, and to make scene after scene all for romantic attention. Why Gene Roddenberry would make his wife act like this is beyond us.

No man has ever been such a mystery to me Lucky for the flesh-and-blood men that Lwaxana spends most of “Manhunt” sexually accosting, apparently she has no idea what a hologram is. I don’t know how, but she’s so horny that when she meets Rex the bartender, she’s so intrigued by her inability to read his mind that she doesn’t even realize it’s because he’s not a real person. We can just imagine how far it went before it dawned on her.

Oo-mox is only the beginning It’s only fitting that someone like Lwaxana Troi should be there for the introduction of oo-mox on the show, and one time was already too much. During “Ménage à Troi,” Lwaxana unknowingly performs what’s essentially a sex act on her captor, which is gross enough as it is, but we learn later in an episode of Deep Space Nine that she also slept with Daimon Tog, and I vomit in my mouth.

Swipe right! We learn in “Cost of Living” that Lwaxana has gotten engaged to Campio, whom she effectively met on a dating app and whom she has absolutely no chemistry with. It strikes us as entirely out of character that she’d accept marriage to someone who wouldn’t allow her to be who she intrinsically is just because he’s rich. Thank the Four Deities she found a way out of it!

My name is Mud While we gave Lwaxana credit for spending more time with Alexander and treating him better than Worf ever does, we have to admit that the jacuzzi scene in “Cost of Living” is off-putting. Sure, it’s the future and we know that in Betazoid culture, nudity is entirely normal, but we’re still not sure it’s something Alexander is accustomed to or had any ability to consent to and that’s weird.

The worst thing that can happen to any parent This is a complicated one because it’s so triggering. I’m not sure it would be fair to blame Lwaxana or anyone for the accident that befell Kestra as we learn in “Dark Page,” but it’s very clear that Lwaxana blames herself. This is truly the lowest her character had ever been, and it explains a few things about how she so tightly latches on to Deanna, but it is a bad, bad time for her.

Bad thoughts, they hurt her What’s more accurate to say about the events from “Dark Page” is that Lwaxana had handled her trauma in an ultimately poor way. By blocking those memories as evidently Betazoids do with triggering events, she never was able to mourn or accept the loss of Kestra, instead avoiding the memories entirely in a way that turned out to be harmful to her and not fair to her late daughter’s memory.

Does no one understand quarantine procedures? I’ll nitpick about it every time some disease breaks out in an episode and no one seems to understand you shouldn’t go around touching everyone around them. So when Lwaxana has Zanthi Fever in “Fascination” and suddenly her horniness becomes contagious, I’m doubly pissed off because it resulted in a really, really stupid premise for an episode.

What I’d mistaken for love was nothing more than a prison After we mentioned just now when Lwaxana leapt at the chance to marry Campio in “Cost of Living,” we see she’s made the same mistake with Jeyal in “The Muse,” except now there’s a baby involved. The most irritating facet of Lwaxana’s personality is how man-hungry she always seems to be. It always clouds her perception, making her make bad decision after bad decision, and worse: making her compromise who she is.

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Give it up for Majel Barrett Roddenberry, who could really do it all. Stick around next week for more kickass recurring characters on the Enterprise-D, and for our continued ride through the series Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast. You can also send us love notes over on Facebook and Twitter, but stop marrying every eligible dude you meet!