#dean is a very faithful person but he isn't faithful to god which is a big part of his character

[homehauntsyou]

just wrote smth similar to this in the tags of prev post but whenever i say that dean is praying, i mean it in the loosest sense of the term. it’s praying because he is talking to an angel / god but it doesn’t really feeling like Praying, in the sense that there is no real faith, beyond the knowledge that angels are real (because he has met them) and the belief that they are listening. to me, in spn there is a consistent difference between praying and Praying - praying is a form of communication (dean asking for cas’ help, knowing that cas will come eventually; dean asking for angels’ help, knowing that they are out there somewhere and will hear) while Praying is about belief (sam speaking to god / angels before he even knows they exist; sam asking to be cleansed / saved). praying is communication and a tool and Praying is devotion

[chiisana-sukima]

hi so what qualities do you think dean admires about sam and vice versa would like to know your thoughts

Love your meta btw as a new spn fan

Hi Nonny, tysm for the ask!

I haven't thought a ton about this question prior to now, so I'm interested in other people's opinions too if they want to add them on reblog. But it seems to me that the 'what does Dean admire about Sam' half of the question is pretty easily answered, because Dean isn't shy with his praise of Sam in canon.

He's also not shy with his criticism, of course, and I think this is because some of the things he admires most about Sam are the same things that are dangerous to him personally. My favorite recap is in the finale:

And there's this from 15.11:

Dean says similar things in other episodes, going way back to 1.11, which the finale speech is practically a word for word recap of:

I think Dean legitimately believes all this; that Sam is better than him in practically every way-- smarter, more compassionate, more optimistic, possessed of a better moral compass (usually), more skilled in a variety of ways, etc. And especially that Sam is healthier than him; more of a complete, autonomous human being who would be fully able to live a "normal" life if circumstances were right, whereas he, Dean, would not be. By "you're stronger than me" (which he also tells Sam before he goes to Hell in s3) he means "capable of independence".

I have decidedly ambivalent feelings about the "Dean is Sam's Parent" reading of spn, but I do think this is a very parental type of admiration; both because of the 'I'm proud' piece and because 'I raised you to be able to outlive me' is maybe a parent's primary responsibility second only to unconditional love. And I think it's realistic and sympathetic that Dean admires these traits in Sam while simultaneously fighting tooth and nail to undermine Sam ever actually becoming fully independent as long as Dean's alive (and until the finale, even afterwards). "You're better than me; don't leave me" is honestly extremely relatable.

R.e. the 'what does Sam admire in Dean' part of the question, I think that's more complicated to explain, and I'm especially interested in what other fans think about this part. I think obviously if someone asked Sam what he admires in Dean, he'd be able to run off a list of traits. And he does sometimes mention traits he finds admirable in Dean, like in 8.14 where he says "You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius" and says Dean is a better hunter than either himself or their father.

But for the core of what I think Sam feels about Dean that's in the same, idk, synonym group ig, as 'admiration', I don't think 'admires' really covers it very well. It's almost more like worships. He thinks, quite simply, that Dean is good. And since he thinks that he, Sam, is fundamentally not good, he sees Dean as the final arbiter of, well, everything. Sam thinks Sam could never go on a quest like Galahad, but although it's never specifically mentioned, I think its pretty clear he believes Dean could.

I think Sam feels about Dean the way I think deeply religious people--not the kind that mouth platitudes but the kind that have really struggled with and thought long and hard about their faith--feel about God. He knows Dean makes mistakes, he knows Dean is deeply fucked up in many ways, he yells at and argues with Dean and goes behind Dean's back and lies to him and etc, all because he does truly understand that Dean's decisions are, on a practical level, sometimes honestly pretty messed up. But he also has an unshakable faith that where he, Sam, might make bad choices because he's bad, Dean will struggle but ultimately always eventually choose correctly, even if one of the steps along the way is chopping Sam's head off with Death's scythe. Because Dean is good. Sam fans (myself included) will look back on the panic room and think "wow Dean sure was living up to the family-is-hell premise on that one", but Sam will look back on it and think "he saved me".

[scoobydoodean]

omg i just finished your emma vs amy takes and the subsequent discourse about it (which was so refreshing to see btw!! love it when adults can be Adults and argue about the topic without insulting the other person) and I might get fried for this but that incident aside, do you have any other scene/episode in mind where sam reacts the same way or does the same thing?

(im sorry if this isn't your cup of tea for asks! your takes have been Enlightening)

You mean another situation where Sam shoots a person with supernatural abilities who hasn't shed blood and has a sympathetic backstory without giving them a chance? Not as overtly—Benny in season 8's "Citizen Fang" certainly comes to mind, but even Benny, Sam at least made a show of giving a chance by assigning Martin to keep tabs on him and make sure he didn't do anything wrong before trying to kill him. (Though whether there was conscious or subconscious sabotage involved when Sam chose Martin specifically—someone he knew to be mentally unstable—is certainly a good question given Sam had already made death threats about Benny before then.)

The fact that Sam's behavior in 7.13 "Slice Girls" is pretty unique is really what I want to point out about this episode in the first place—that Sam's actions in "Slice Girls" are inconsistent with his previous behavior and future behavior as far as "good" monster episodes. We can turn to examples such as:

1.14 where Sam insists they try and talk Max down instead of killing him, because Max's murders are a result of extensive abuse.

Lenore and her nest in SPN's seminal "monsters can be good" episode (2.03)

Sam thinking Andy is responsible for the killings in 2.05 but still waiting for proof before acting.

2.09 where Sam insists they not kill someone they think might be infected with Croatoan virus before he turns and tries to kill them because that doesn't give him a chance.

Two episodes where Sam faces off against Gordon because Gordon wants to kill him before Sam kills someone (2.10, 3.07)

2.17 where Sam and Dean search for a cure for Madison, who is not aware that she has been killing people.

4.04 Metamorphosis where Sam is the one who takes the initiative to research Rugarus, learns that they can survive without giving into their urges, and insist they go and talk to him about how his body is changing (lol) so he has the chance to fight the urge to kill and eat people.

5.06 where Sam and Dean oppose Cas who wants to kill Jesse, who is a child who is not aware that he has powers and is hurting people.

6.02 where Sam, even soulless, recognizes the innocence of a shifter baby.

Then we have Amy and Emma in 7.03 and 7.13 respectively.

8.04 where the brothers let Kate the Werewolf go because she was turned against her will and killed the man who turned her in self-defense.

8.09 Citizen Fang (already discussed)

I'm getting lazy but then we also have Magda and Jack Kline—both children with powers, one severely abused, the other the son of the devil with uncontrolled explosive powers that could end the world, both of whom Sam attempts to help work with their abilities.

Dean has a more structured series of personal "rules"—a litmus test we see from the very beginning—one Sam often follows as well, but I'm not sure Sam ever really fully grasps that Dean thinks this way.

Has this person hurt or killed anyone?

Was it on purpose or was it outside of their awareness?

If it wasn't on purpose, are they capable of learning to control their urges?

We see this code as early as 1.12 "Faith":

SAM Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean, we can't kill Roy. DEAN Sam the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book. SAM No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is.

Dean applies the same reasoning in 1.14 with Max:

SAM These visions, this whole time -- I wasn't connecting to the Millers, I was connecting to Max! The thing is I don't get why, man. I guess -- because we're so alike? DEAN What are you talking about. The dude's nothing like you. SAM Well. We both have psychic abilities, we both... DEAN Both what? Sam, Max is a monster, he's already killed two people, now he's gunning for a third.

Despite the exact opposite being the typical fandom perception, early on we learn that Sam tends to define a monster by their features/abilities, while Dean defines a monster by their actions. We see the same with Amy—she is "a monster who killed four people" (7.07) . She isn't a monster because of what she is but because of what she did. This again—is also why Dean doesn't even consider killing her son right after her kid swears to kill him one day. We see Dean, in the rare cases where it comes up, is also perfectly fine with taking out human serial killers they stumble across (ex: Thin Man).

Sam will also kill a human serial killer at times (and murderous witches by 3.09), but he reserves the word "monster" to describe individuals with supernatural features/abilities... and I think the fact that Sam's definition of the term differs from Dean's is something neither brother ever fully realizes about the other, leading at several points to arguments where they are talking past each other and do not understand one another. Sam hears "monster" and thinks "Dean is talking about me", when Dean is operating under a completely different definition of the term that is based on the actions of a person.

When Sam is in a headspace where he is thinking of himself as one of those monsters, he shows increased or lessened sympathy in turns. For example, he assumes Andy's guilt in 2.05 because he is panicked about becoming evil himself and is comparing the two of them (but again—still waits for confirmation) but his sympathy for Max in 1.14 comes from the same comparison with himself. Sam completely misrepresents Amy in 7.03 as an addict who relapsed but more generally is "managing", as a way to compare her with himself... when Amy didn't feed on anyone herself and her actions have absolutely nothing to do with addiction or battling "monstrous urges".

I've been bitching and moaning a lot, but I will reemphasize that there is a more sympathetic reason that Sam shoots Emma—Sam and Dean are both crowding up to the diving board at the deep end of the pool in season 7. Dean's grieving and is drinking extremely heavily to cope and Sam is hallucinating. They are both unraveling at the seams. Neither of them is in a place where they trust the other's judgement because they both know themselves and each other to be unstable. So if we imagine a reality where Sam and Dean give Emma a chance, and it doesn't take, Sam assesses himself and Dean to be in no mental state to cope with a potential surprise attack. It's just that Sam also erroneously compares Amy and Emma when they are not the same, and by doing so, frames Dean wanting to spare Emma but killing Amy as hypocrisy (because they are both "monsters") when Dean's actions are perfectly consistent with his personal ethical code and his definition of a "monster"... and Sam's actions aren't.

[bethanydelleman]

Your recent post about Anne Brontë and preachiness makes me want to ask: do you agree with claims that "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall" is "the anti-Wuthering Heights"? Some people say this because Arthur Huntingdon's portrayal contrasts with the "romanticized" Heathcliff, while others say it because "Tenant" is both feminist and Christian, while WH is "unconcerned with feminism" (I'm not so sure about that...) and "pagan" in its spirituality. Do you think those two sisters' books are fundamentally against each other?

I personally feel that all the Brontës were just doing their own thing, not that they were against each other. So no, I don't agree at all.

I have no idea what Emily Brontë was up to with Wuthering Heights, that book is wild! But I don't think a rational human being would read it and say, "Man, Heathcliff is hot stuff, wish I could marry him." He's a horrible husband in the novel. Catherine specifically advises Isabella not to romanticize Heathcliff and Isabella learns her lesson and even runs away from him with her male child, just like Helen Graham. Heathcliff is just as unredeemable as Arthur Huntingdon. Even his big "romance" with Catherine ends up killing her.

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall is about a young girl learning that the love of a good woman cannot change a man, but that does not happen in Wuthering Heights. Catherine Earnshaw (#1), is semi-civilized by the love of a good man, you could argue that Heathcliff is destroyed by hatred and he cannot be recovered through love, and Cathy (#2) perhaps tries to change Linton but fails/he's dying anyway. Anne Brontë could only have been responding to misinterpretations of Wuthering Heights, not the text itself.

And to add Jane Eyre to the discussion, Jane does not reform Rochester, God half-smites him and he reforms himself. Anne Brontë is likely just opposing pulp fiction of her era, just like Jane Austen did before her.

Side Note: Helen actually holds out hope until the very end that Arthur will at least ask God for forgiveness, if not reform. That is something that does not really happen in Wuthering Heights, Isabella never expects Heathcliff to reform and neither does anyone else really.

As for the morality, Nelly Dean's discussions of death are very Christian so I wouldn't call Wuthering Heights "pagan". Also, it is emphasized a lot that they cannot keep a curate in the parish and Heathcliff is deprived a religious education, so if anything the book is showing the fall into immorality when a community lacks guidance/faith. Which honestly, isn't that different than The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. Both books also emphasize upbringing and how it can shape how men act in the future.

Lastly, feminism. I don't know. The Tenant of Wildfell Hall has some very feminist messages, especially when education is discussed. Helen is very outspoken in her opinions, which I know people love. I don't know if Wuthering Heights has any specifically feminist messages, but every novel written by a woman doesn't have to be about feminism. I'm not a feminism scholar though, so I don't know.

[enter-the-phantom]

4, 8, 14 and 13 for your supernatural!s/i? (Or really whomever you like?) I’ve been meaning to get into SPN so this is super interesting’

—— flusteredshipping

I cannot find the original ask meme for the life of me, so I'm answering this using the most recent one I found and reblogged! 💙

4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?

They do, but in canon, it's vaguely mysterious and never explicitly fleshed out. There are hints that it involves religious trauma and a shattered family dynamic, and this touches every part of them as a person and a character and how they interact and relate to everyone around them.

8. How do they fit into their canon world? What’s their role to play, if any? Do they have a big destiny? Or do they more live as a side character that’s helpful for the protagonists/antagonists?

They're a lot more important than they realize. As a hunter, they're famous and well-respected, but no one actually knows who they are--the God Slayer is just a faceless legend known for taking down rogue gods and having a way with demons, and most people don't believe them when they claim it's them. They feel that their reputation isn't deserved; after all, they mostly use diplomacy to calm abandoned and angry deities--not at all the classic idea of a hunter. Sam and Dean were chosen for their part in the Apocalypse arc due to their familial bloodline, a bloodline which Abby obviously doesn't share. However, they become a vital part of this arc and the ones that follow simply through the way that they attract major players in the astral realm (Gabriel, Castiel, and even the demon Crowley all seem to have a vested and inexplicable interest in their wellbeing). They're a great example of someone who is not born to greatness like the Winchesters, but takes it for themself simply through their own actions.

14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?

Their blood family relations are a mystery that is never solved (in fact, it's a running gag throughout the series that no one knows what Abby's actual last name is, as they left it behind years ago). However they have a rich and full adopted family through Bobby and the Winchesters.

Sam and Dean are Abby's adopted brothers, and they are just as close if not closer than biological siblings. They met after Dean decided to enlist the help of the Demon's Bane in finding their father and hunting down Azazel, not knowing that the fabled hunter was actually a tiny Texan with weak lungs. Abby and Dean have a very classic sibling bond, complete with competitiveness and petty rivalry, but tempered by their unbreakable love for one another. Sam and Abby have their squabbles but are best friends and much more open with their affection for each other. The boys see Abby as their younger sibling, and in fact they sometimes forget that they aren't biologically related.

Bobby is Abby's adoptive father, and later on he offers Abby his last name, which they take. They're introduced through Sam and Dean, and Bobby takes an immediate protective role over what he sees as an orphaned child. He has a more paternal relationship with them than he does the Winchesters; realising that he can never replace John as the boys' dad, no matter how awful he was, he really latches on to Abby as the child he never had and the two develop a very strong and very sweet relationship.

13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?

After losing their faith in humanity, their only real goal in life before meeting the Winchesters is to heal what they see as a fractured relationship between the supernatural, especially deities and other beings of belief, and humans. They know that their actions make them a part of something bigger, but their day-to-day life is pretty miserable. After meeting the Winchesters, they begin to see a different life for themself, one in which they don't have to be alone and can actually enjoy being alive. And after Castiel, he is their entire future. 💙

[castielific]

Title: Fancy and the tramp

Story status: Complete, 8 chapters

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Dean/Castiel, Alternate Universe, Fake boyfriends, pretend relationship, homeless!Dean, rich!Cas, family, angst with a happy ending, temporary breakup, getting back together, coming out, past!homophobia, self esteem issues, Dean Winchester has a sexuality crisis, first time, homelessness, bed sharing, pining

Sex tags: anal sex, switching, bottom!Cas, bottom!Dean, first time, frottage, marking, blowjob, fingering, barebacking

Special warning: Contrary to what the title may presage, there are no spaghettis in this story. 

Summary: 

"Okay, let's be clear on one thing from the start. This is not a lifetime movie and I'm straight, so no falling in love, get it?"

"I get it, Dean," Castiel nods.

Well, that's it then, apparently Dean is going to a fancy engagement party with his new fake boyfriend. What a weird day. 

Link to AO3

Chapter 1 under the cut:

************

"Come on Ricky, you owe me that money!" Dean says on his phone, taking a step forward when the line of the coffee shop shortens. 

"I don't owe you shit, Dean. You still owe me the last three months of your rent," his ex landlord says on the phone.

"And I'll pay you, you know I will. But to get the money, I need a job, and to get that job I need some new clothes and-"

"Yeah yeah, I know the deal. You think no one has told me that one before? No bueno, man, I'm keeping your deposit," Ricky grumbles. 

Dean groans in frustration. "Come on, all I need is fifty dollars so I can buy a pair of pants without any holes in it. You give me fifty, I get the job and I pay you back, how does that sound?" he tries to negotiate. 

"Like a fucking lie," Ricky spits just before hanging up.

"No Ric-fuck!" 

The woman in front of him in line sends him a dark look. Dean rolls his eyes at her. Like she hasn't heard worse before. 

Ricky was his last shot. It was a long one, he really does owe that bastard some serious money. Guess he can kiss the job interview at two goodbye. It's some kind of assistant job. It sounds easy enough, buying coffee and picking dry cleaning and stuff. It was still a long shot anyway. Dean's only real job experience is being a bagger boy when he was seventeen and it lasted about two months before his dad decided to move them further east. 

So far, he'd always managed to get by doing repairs or cleaning at gas stops and motels. The older he gets and the harder it gets to find that kind of random job. People are more willing to give a few bucks in exchange for manual tasks to a kid than they are to a nearly thirty years old guy. Now they just tell him to fuck off. 

And since it's always been casual and off the book, the only official work experience he has is the bagger thing. He doesn't even have a high school diploma because he dropped out long before that. Not exactly a stellar resume. Which explains why he hasn't found work in eight month and is currently living in his car. Thank God he has Baby. 

He had been too ambitious thinking he could get his own place. It could only pay rent for about five months before he went broke. He's never had a home before, and had no idea that having an apartment cost so much. In motels, you don't exactly have to pay for water or heat or utilities. There was a bunch of stuff he hadn't planned for that ate up the last of his meagre savings. Ricky threw him out after three months when Dean couldn't scrape up enough money to pay rent anymore, putting a violent stop to Dean's pipe dream of living a normal life. He hoped it would be simpler to get a job if he had an actual address, had even thought about scrapping up enough to maybe get his GED. He's not sure what he's going to do now. 

He's always wanted to be a mechanic. If his dad ever taught him anything, it was how to take care of the Impala. John taught him all the basics and Dean got the knack of it. As a teen, he spent days reading car magazines and working on the Impala, trying to learn as much as he could about how cars worked and how to repair the different parts. He knows enough by now that he could easily work in a garage, but he's got no diploma, and hasn't found anyone willing to hire him on faith alone. 

The line of the coffee shop shortens again, the barista asking her order to the goody-two-shoes in front of him. Dean looks regretfully at the display of sandwiches. He searches his pockets and only comes up with three dollars. Of course, the cheapest piece of food cost four dollars. Dean sighs. Guess just a coffee will have to do today. 

He won't have another choice but to go to the soup kitchen tonight. He hates it there. The food is crap and he wants to punch the prancy people serving it. They always try to give him some Jesus bullshit with his food, like Jesus is ever gonna put a roof over his head and find him a decent job. Neither Jesus nor God nor whatever gives a crap about him. Not that he blames them. Hell, if they exist they're probably not big fans of the guy that used to slip into church as a kid to pick the lock of the donation box

"Just an americano, please," Dean says regretfully when the barista asks for his order. At least it will keep him warm and fill his stomach for a short while.

Halloween just went by and the weather is becoming really cold. He should use the last of Baby's tank to go as far south as he can before winter really hits. He probably won't get farther than Wichita though, and the thought makes him shiver. No one wants to get stuck for a winter in Wichita. Maybe he could go and see if he can make a few bucks at the nearest motel, that kind of place always needs a handyman's help. He hasn't tried the one on Corn Street yet. He's noticed only two lights are still working on their sign, he could offer to help with that. If he makes fifty bucks, he might be able to reach Austin. 

Dean stops on the sidewalk in front of the coffee shop, pondering if he should walk to the bar a few streets down or the motel. Sometimes Benny, the owner of the bar, lets him use the sink in the back to wash up. If he's lucky, he'll even get some leftovers from last night. It's generally just some stale pretzels, cold fries on good days, but it's still better than nothing. He's got two cans of beans and a car with an near empty tank to his name right now, so he's not picky. 

Dean takes a look at his watch. It's eleven thirty already, the leftovers are probably already in the trash at Benny's. The motel is probably his best bet. 

"I'll give you a hundred dollars if you pretend to be my boyfriend." comes a hoarse voice, way too close to his ear. 

Dean jumps, nearly spilling his coffee on himself. He spins to the right to face the man who just talked and is met with a pair of clear blue eyes. Way too close again. He waits a second for the man to take a step back as he realises as close Dean turning brought them, but the guy just continues to stare at him, head slightly tilted to the side. He's wearing an oversized trench coat over a dark blue suit that looks expensive. He's so close a gust of wind makes the bottom of his coat brushes Dean's shin. 

"Dude, personal space," Dean reproaches, taking a step back. "And fuck off, I don't swing that way," he adds, not meanly. It's not the first time he's getting hit on by a dude. Sadly, not even the weirdest. He's strictly into chicks though, so no dice.

"Two hundred bucks," the man insists. He looks ready to fall on his knees and beg, eyes going wider and wider as he throws a panicked look to the right of Dean's shoulder. "It won't take more than ten minutes and all you have to do is nod along," he begs, making Dean wonders if he's in danger somehow. Maybe he has a stalker or an abusive ex? 

Dean follows his eyes to a woman coming closer. She's very elegant in a grey pantsuit and a long white fur coat as she walks straight toward them. He can feel her eyes judging him even from thirty feet away, looking at him from head to toes. If he wasn't already self-aware of the number of holes in his jeans, he would definitely be under that gaze. 

"Five hundred dollars," the other man whispers just as the blond woman reaches them. 

"Castiel, dear, you should have told me we would have company, I would have notified the restaurant," the woman says, sending a clearly disapproving look toward Dean as she deposits a kiss on the other man's - (Castiel, apparently, what kind of name is that??) - cheek. 

"Mother, let me introduce you to my boyfriend," Castiel says, looking ill at ease. He's obviously not a very good liar. 

Dean blinks a few times as their attention turns toward him. Castiel seems to be trying to communicate something with his eyes, and Dean frowns in incomprehension for a moment before he gets the hint. 

"Huh. Dean. Winchester," he finally says. "Ma'am," he adds when she just continues to stare at him like he has grease smeared all over his face. He's pretty sure that she wouldn't want to touch his hand if he were to offer it to shake, so he doesn't. 

"Naomi Novak," she introduces herself. "What a delight to finally meet Castiel's new companion," Naomi says, her deadpan tone contradicting her words. "Of course, I would have preferred not to be ambushed by such an announcement. Castiel, you know, that Le Délice hates it when we change our reservation last minute. Who knows if they will even have a table for three," she declares, already composing a number on her phone. 

"It's okay, mother, Dean won't be joining us for lunch."

"Oh, is it because your attire isn't appropriate?" Castiel's mother asks, looking at the holes in Dean's jeans and the big leather jacket that used to be his dad's. "I assure you they won't say a word about it if you're with us," she reassures. 

Dean squirms a little, wondering what the hell is even happening. Ten minutes ago he was buying a coffee and going at his day like a perfectly normal person (well, albeit a homeless and jobless one). Now, his fashion sense is being criticized by the mother of a man who is pretending to be his boyfriend. Did a piano fall on his head or something? Has he finally lost his mind?

He looks to the man beside him. He's scratching the side of his neck in nervousness. The move makes his coat fall a little over his wrist, revealing a freaking Rolex watch. Dean looks back to the woman, eyes sliding on her diamond earrings and the huge rock around her neck. 

You know what? That's not okay. His stomach has been crying for food since last morning, and he's what? Supposed to help this stranger by saying no to free lunch at one of the most prestigious restaurants in town? Fuck no. He's gonna eat like a king and make a few hundred bucks off the back of those rich assholes. 

"In that case, it would be my pleasure to join you," Dean announces with his most charming smile. 

"What?" Castiel can't help but bark. "But y-your work thing?" he tries, sweating. The round panic eyes are back. Dean sends him his best shit eating grin. They both know he now either has to invite this stranger to lunch or reveal the lie to his mother. The guy is trapped and may as well continue to play along.

"It's not as important as a chance to finally get to know your mother, honey," Dean answers. "He's told me so many nice things about you, Naomi. Can I call you Naomi?"

"Of course, dear," Naomi says. She looks a little wide eyed too, probably thrown by Dean turning on the charm to the max.

"Perfect! We shall go now, we don't want to miss your reservation. I do hope it won't be too much of a bother for them to add a chair to your table," Dean says. He should probably tone it down with the pompous tone, because he nearly added an English accent here. 

Naomi leads the way, and Dean is going to follow when a hand grabbing his arm makes him fall a few steps behind. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Castiel hisses.

"Acting as your boyfriend?" Dean says innocently. By Castiel's glare, he's not fooled. 

"I asked you to nod silently for ten minutes, not to do method acting for a whole meal," he reproaches. Naomi sends a look behind her shoulder and Castiel smiles at her like there is no worries, indicating for her to lead the way, 

Dean shrugs. "I had some free time."

"I'm not giving you more money than planned, if that's your goal," Castiel says with a suspicious squint. 

"I'm fine with the five hundred as long as you're also paying for lunch," Dean says, wiggling his eyebrows as they walk toward the restaurant. Something passes on Castiel's face that Dean can't quite identify. The other man stares at him for so long that it's a wonder he doesn't trip. He finally relents with a long suffering sigh as they enter 'Le Délice'. 

Apparently, Naomi Novak is prominent enough that they don't mind changing her reservation after all. They're seated at a table near a legit indoor fountain. Dean is looking around, trying not to let show how impressed he is by the place. The walls are made of stone and covered in frescos that he always thought you couldn't see outside of a church or castle. A waiter gives him a leather covered menu and Dean opens it eagerly. After a few niceties to Naomi, they're asked what they want to drink. Dean has an inkling that he probably shouldn't ask for a beer in an establishment like this. 

"Same for me, please," he says after Castiel ordered some wine with a name Dean can't pronounce. At least, he hopes that's wine. Who knows. Hell, in this place the bottles of water are probably more expensive than his usual brand of beer. 

Dean starts to second guess his decision when he realizes that the menu is in french. What is it with rich people and France? He just wants a damn steak, how do you say that in french? Is there even steaks here or is it just frog legs and snails? Oh god, he hopes not. 

"I think I'll take the duck today," Naomi notes. "Nobody cooks it better than chef Francis. How about you Dean? Have you ever come here before?" There is a mean glint in her eyes that says she knows perfectly well he hasn't. Hell, from the side eyes he got from everyone as they crossed the room, everyone here knows he's not from their world. There are three holes in his jeans, threads hanging from the bottom and his dad's leather jacket probably should have ended up in the trash about three years ago. Even now, it's still too big for him and the sleeves are so scruffed that they're nearly paper thin. The original dark brown color has turned to a light beige in most places from wear. His scruff is just the bad side of too long now, and he hasn't had a haircut since April, strands starting to fall into his eyes. At least, he's wearing his best plaid shirt and managed to wash up last night, so he's not smelling too rank. Why would Castiel pick him out of all the people in the street at that moment to play his boyfriend? It makes no sense at all. From the guy's obvious discomfort as he hides behind his menu, he probably realizes it. 

"Actually, Naomi, duck sounds like a delicious idea," Dean says, voluntarily ignoring her question. To be honest, he’s never even eaten duck before, but it's poultry so it probably taste like chicken. You can't go wrong with chicken, right? His stomach certainly likes the idea, gurgling so loudly that he has to hide it behind a cough. 

Castiel ends up ordering some fish and soon their drinks arrive. Dean barely has time to sip at his red wine before Naomi pounces. 

"So, tell me everything, how did you two meet?"

Dean nearly chokes on his drink. Castiel seems to gulp down his whole glass. 

"We met at a coffee shop. Dean was in line in front of me and we started to talk," Castiel explains, not quite meeting anyone's eyes.

"How quaint!" Naomi exclaims, clasping her hands in delight. "I'm just sorry that you didn't tell me about it sooner, Castiel. How long have you been keeping this charming man a secret?"

"Not-," Castiel clears his throat, "-not long."

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you Dean. I sure wish this luncheon will give me the chance to learn everything about you."

Luncheon? Who even talks like that outside of Downton Abbey?

"I do hope I'll get to keep some mystery, we wouldn't want this guy to lose interest," Dean says with a wink. He pats Castiel's hand on the table. Should he hold it or something? How open on PDA are gay people those days? Not that he knows more about how heterosexual couple act in public anyway, especially in those crowds. It's probably safer to keep the PDA to a minimum here. 

"You have to at least tell me some things. For one, what career path are you on?" She looks like a shark circling her prey. 

"I'm a mechanic," he lies. He'd rather stay as close to the truth as possible. It's a little unfair that Castiel is letting him do all the talking when his initial demand was that he stayed silent, especially since it's his skin that Dean is apparently saving, but the guy looks like he's swallowed a potato whole. 

"Oh, that's...interesting," Naomi says in that insincere tone of hers. She looks like he told her he was fucking children’s corpses every full moon. He's two seconds away from telling her that he's actually jobless, penniless, and homeless, just to see her face, when Castiel intervenes. 

"How is Anna's engagement party coming on?" 

Thankfully, this seems to be a subject Naomi loves because she tells them about every aspect of the future party all the way through their meal. 

Duck, as it turns out, is actually very good. It's more like red meat than chicken, which is a great surprise. Although, Dean isn't a fan of the way rich people put tiny quantities of food in very large plates. He eats all the dinner rolls and scrapes every single bit of sauce out of his plate, yet he's still hungry by the end of it. He nearly starts crying when the waiter asks them if they'll take dessert and Naomi declines. He's starting to wonder if that little piece of duck was worth sitting through lunch with her. 

"That sounds like you're turning this into a wonderful event, mother, Anna must be delighted," Castiel compliments. 

"Oh, you know your sister," Naomi waves it off. "It sure feels like a nice opportunity to introduce your new beau to everyone."

Dean frowns. What's a beau? Is that him? That's not him, right?

"I wouldn't dare take any attention away from Anna," Castiel tries to refuse. 

"Don't be daft, you know your sister won't care. Everyone will be so happy that you've finally found-" she passes a long look, over Dean, like she's doubting anyone would actually approve of him. She certainly doesn't seem to, "-someone," she finishes lamely. 

"Oh shoot, I don't think I'm available that night," Dean tries to play off. 

"I'm not sure I've told you the date of it yet."

"Cas did," he says. The other man perks up at the surname, but whatever, 'Castiel' is a mouthful. "And I have this huh work thing, you know? Bummer," Dean says with a fake pout. 

"What kind of 'work thing' can a mechanic possibly have on a Saturday evening?"

Dean tenses up, pursing his lips. "One he can't get out of?"

"Nonsense, you're coming," Naomi brushes off. And that is that apparently. Shit. There is a vein about to pop on Castiel's forehead. "Castiel, dear, you look a little white. Was the fish okay?"

"I-Yeah-I-Actually, do you think we could possibly cut our lunch short? I am indeed feeling quite unwell."

"Of course, my dear," Naomi says, leaning forward until her hand touches his forehead. "You're as clammy as a fish. I should come home with you, and make sure you're okay," she announces, taking her napkin off her lap and deposing it on the table, ready to stand up. 

"No!" Castiel stops her, a little too brusquely. "I-Dean will take good care of me, don't worry," he says, getting up and grabbing Dean's arm so he does so too. Dean follows his lead, all too happy to get out of here. "Stay and enjoy your tea, mother."

"If you say so," Naomi says, sending an unsure look at Dean, obviously upset at being brushed off in his favor. "Call me this evening, or I'll worry all night."

"Of course, mother," Castiel acquiesces, kissing her cheek. Dean hovers behind him. Is he supposed to kiss her too? Wave hello? Shake her hand? 

"Dean," she says as what is apparently a sufficient goodbye. Thank God. "I'll be sure to see you on Saturday," she reminds just as they're walking away. 

Cas turns on him as soon as they're outside the restaurant. 

"What was that?!" he asks, not quite yelling. He starts pacing, rubbing a hand through his already pretty ruffled hair. 

"You owing me five hundred bucks? Dude, you're lucky I don't charge you more for the fresh hell I just lived through."

"You went through hell? You?!" his pacing gets faster and Dean has an idea that if he stops pacing he might punch him in the face. 

"That's what you get for asking this kind of stuff from a perfect stranger," Dean shrugs, pushing a pebble with the point of his shoe. His red sock is peeking out from a tiny hole near his big toe. It's such a contrast to how grand everything and everyone looked in there. It's making him feel like shit. He's maybe feeling a tiny bit guilty for trapping Castiel like that too. He doesn't seem like a bad guy, albeit one with a psycho mom.

Cas turns on him, eyes glaring and mouth open in what will probably be a flow of reproaches. He stops himself before he says anything though, seeming to deflate. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe instead, shoulders falling. "I'm sorry. You're right. I should be thanking you. I have no right to make you any reproach when I brought this on myself."

"It wasn't so bad, though, was it? I mean, I think I sold it?" Dean asks, a little hesitant. He even used pedantic talk and everything. 

"You did as well as could be expected."

"That's not much of a compliment…". 

"I shouldn't take more of your time," Cas apologizes, taking his wallet out. Dean goggles at the amount of cash in there. 

"You really shouldn't have that much cash on you, that's, like, asking for trouble."

Castiel squints at him like he's wondering if that means Dean is gonna rob him for a moment, before he hands him a wad of cash. 

Dean's eyes bulge out, "That's way more than five hundred dollars."

"There's also an advance in there to buy some clothes for the engagement party."

"The what now?" Dean blinks dumbly for a second until his brain catches up to what is happening. "Dude, no, I'm done!" 

"You were the one to push it so far in the first place," Castiel reminds. Accuses, really. 

"I just wanted to eat fancy food, okay! Not, like, go steady."

"There will be lots of food at my sister's engagement party," Castiel tries to persuade. Badly. 

Dean gives him a nonplussed look. The cash feels heavy in his hand. He's never had so much before. This could help him get a new start. What's a night of playing Downton Abbey compared to the many many nights he might not have to freeze his ass off in the backseat of his car thanks to it?

"Why are you even doing this anyway? And why would you choose me? Do I look that desperate for cash?"

"No," Cas says after what's definitely a too long pause. Dean scowls. "You were in front of me in the coffee shop line. I heard you talking on the phone. You said you needed some cash to buy a new outfit for a job interview. Begged, really."

"Where the fuck do you get on listening in on other people’s conversation?" 

"I didn't listen, I just heard."

"You know, what? Fuck you," Dean spits, "I don't need that bullshit in my life right now." He has enough cash to get to Austin and replenish his stock of food, even buy some new clothes. At least this way he can keep his dignity rather than being insulted by a bunch of rich assh-

"Please," Castiel begs, following him as Dean storms away. "You don't understand…"

"Oh I understand perfectly," Dean says, stopping and turning around so brusquely that they nearly bump into each other. "You think you can shit on other people from your high horse and that they'll still do your deed for a few hundred bucks. Well, I'm not your freaking puppet, man."

"I have never shitted on any-" he stops himself with a frustrated groan, before turning on the puppy dog eyes. "Dean, please. Listen to what I have to say at least?"

"I know what you're gonna say. I've seen that movie before, Cas. You're going to bring me to that party, so you can parade me around like I'm some earned price or some shit. Meanwhile you get to appease mommy dearest and the clan of hyenas putting pressure on you to find a husband, while still having the satisfaction of giving them a huge fuck you by bringing a guy like me instead of the golden boy they're dreaming of."

"I-" Castiel stops himself, pursing his lips. "That's actually not that far from the reality."

"Of course it isn't. Told you, I've seen that trope before. Except this is real life and your plan sucks, so you can keep your money and I'll keep my dignity. Just grow a pair and tell them all to fuck off, will ya?"

"You sure do like saying that to people," Castiel sulks. "Are you sure you can't do it for me?" 

"Oh believe me I would love to tell your mom to fuck off, but I like my balls attached to my body, so that's a hard pass."

Castiel laughs slightly at that and Dean can feel his own anger start to abate at the sound. "Good self-preservation instinct on your part," Cas mumbles. The puppy look is still there, except now it's making him feel like he's kicked the puppy.  

"You know, we're in the 21st century, right? You shouldn't feel pressured to the point of inventing a boyfriend. Who gives a shit about that nowadays?"

"My family does," Castiel answers in a long sigh. "You don't get it, how could you... I have three brothers, Dean," Castiel explains. "Two sisters. My little sister, who is just nineteen, just got engaged. I was already seen as the irremediably unwed one and now I…," he pauses, sending a nervous look at Dean, looking ashamed.

"Oh come on. How hard can it be? You're rich, objectively good looking. Do you have weird kinks or something?"

 "I-I wouldn't know. I've never even been in a relationship before," he confesses, looking at the ground.

"When you say 'relationship', you don't mean you've never…" Dean inquires. Cas' cheeks redden, and Dean blows like he just got punched. "Wow. That sucks."

"Yes, it's very pathetic."

"What? Eh no, it's not pathetic. Surprising, yeah. But, to each their own, you know?"

Cas inclines his head like he's not sure he does know. 

"I'm sorry I tried to drag you in all of this. You seem like a good man. You don't deserve-"

"-to be served on a platter to your family?" Dean asks, searching Castiel's gaze until they exchange a smile. 

"Yes. That." The man is still looking dejected. The money is still in Dean's hand. That duck really was good. Damn it.

"The food better be freaking awesome," Dean relents with a frustrated grunt. Castiel seems instantly relieved. "And you're not pretty woman-ing me," he warns, pointing a finger at the other man. "I'm choosing my own clothes and I don't give a shit if I don't know which fork to use for fish."

Castiel's head is tilted and he's blinking owlishly, like he doesn't understand a word that Dean is saying. Figures. He's not sure how he could convince anyone that he's this dork's boyfriend, honestly. Naomi certainly looked like she wasn't fooled. 

"I'm sorry for the way my mother behaved toward you. I assure you, being yourself will be amply sufficient to the task."

"Dude, the way y'all talk, where do you come from, Victorian England?"

"I-I don't think I have English ancestry, no. Why?"

They blink at each other for some time. 

"I must be a freaking masochist."

Cas' face scrunches up even more in incomprehension. 

"Okay, let's be clear on one thing from the start. This is not a lifetime movie and I'm straight, so: no falling in love, get it?"

"I get it, Dean," Castiel nods. 

Well, that's it then, apparently Dean is going to a fancy engagement party with his new boyfriend. What a weird day... 

You can read the rest on AO3

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCVI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

And You are not here... (Part IV)

(13x05)

Hello my friends! How are you? We arrived to the episode in which Castiel comes back. Yay!

Okay, Dean will be particularly suicidal in this one, and we will have a lot of foreshadows for the incoming possesion.

So, let's talk about this...

Dr. Meadows and The Open Door

The ghost of Dr. Meadows was a blatant foreshadow of AU!Michael. They wore the same apron, experimented with people and monsters and also, the doctor made lobectomies and literally, git inside the patients' heads. Is a symbolism for what Michael will do with Dean.

Look at the doctor...

(gif credit @aborddelimpala)

Yep, the same apron and he burns... Just like Michael will do.

Also this scene...

(gif credit @celestialsonata7 )

The masks, different mask the crazy doc wore, are a symbolism of the different faces Michael will take through season 14.

Another clue of how the season 14 will go, is this tiny dialogue between the two boys at the beginning of the episode, before trying to get inside the Dr. A Meadows Mental Health Center.

Evan: I told you it’d be unlocked.

Shawn: Why would they leave it open?

Leaving the door open, will be seen again in episode 14x02, and it plays a symbolic foreshadow for what will happen with Dean, Michael will leave him but then, he will possesse him again in 14x09. "Leaving the open door for the second possession."

So, if we follow this same statement, we can say Shawn is Dean here. He represents Dean after being possesed, the PTSD.

Penny: Shawn, he….won’t talk. He can’t.

Sam: What do you mean?

Penny: The doctors say…he’s okay physically, that it’s psychological. You know, trauma, like he…he…saw some – saw something so…awful. God I don’t even know what he was doing out that late.

This is a representation of how Dean will be trying to face all the whirlwind of feelings and trauma after Michael leaves him. The kid is muted, just like Dean will avoid talking about the possession. And Shawn draws obssesively, the doc's masks, as Dean will be obssesed in kill Michael after being possesed. (14x03).

Then...

Penny: And, uh, Evan, he’s still missing. Uh… He, Shawn, and their friend Mike Ramos, they’re inseparable.

This is how TFW will be separated because of Michael.

We have another visual narrative clue in Shawn's room, when his mother gets in because he was having a nightmare.

There's a pic on his wall, and is a foreshadow of this scene from 14x04...

The picture shows a red background and a terrifying silhouette of a person. The entire room is Dean's mind. The red color talks about his toxicity. The monster is Michael/John Winchester and his own fears, guilts and toxic behavior, like violence.

The mother is wearing green, as a reminder of Dean Winchester's innocence, usually Scooby Doo represents that too.

The monster doc appears inside of his dreams (head) and also in his own room, as a foreshadow of Michael looking though Dean's eyes, and his possesion.

Dr. Meadows appears in his room, literally possesse the kid, he grabs the mask and put it on his face! Is a blatant symbolism of AUMichael!Dean! and they leave the house. Just like Michael will do with Dean at the end of the season. And also, the meaning of Shawn that escapes the first time but not the second one, is talking about the dynamics of season 14: Michael will leave, Dean will be free just for a few days, before being possesed again, more strongly than before, in season 9.

Suicidal Dean and Sam trying to cheer him up.

If we recall the previous episode, Sam was very shocked because his brother confessed to him he didn't have faith anymore.

At the beginning of the episode we had this dialogue between Sam and Dean...

Sam: Hey

Dean: Hey

Sam: PB&J for breakfast? Strong work.

Dean: Yep.

Well, we all know who was the one telling us that PB&J sandwich was his favorite, right? So... This is not a new observation, but that little clue over there is screaming DEAN MISSES CAS.

So we will have a very cheerful Sammy, giving Dean beer in the morning, pushing him to go to a strip house, and literally, trying to give his brother every usual item he runs into when he is depressed for losing people. He even let Dean being under the number of Agent Page. Their fav.

When Dean sees this, he faves his brother, asking him why he's been so nice to him.

Dean: Okay. Look, I-I’ve been down this road before and I fought my way back. I will fight my way back again.

Sam: How?

Dean: Same way I always do – bullets, bacon, and booze. [Rings front desk bell] A lotta booze.

This is very important, because Billie will refute it in this same episode...

So Dean eats a lot of bacon and stuffs, he drinks a lot, and he even goes to the strip house. But all is fake.

They had their first encout er with Dr. Meadows... And this alarming scene is showed to us...

(Gif credit @smartiespn )

Dean wanted to die here. He wasn't fighting back. He was accepting his death. Why? Is he so affected by Castiel's death and Mary that he wants to die? But why because of Mary, he had lost parents before, John, Bobby, and his convo of bullets, booze and sex worked back then. But why isn't working now? Because the variable her is CASTIEL. He lost the love of his life and nothing will be fine again. SO DEAN WANTS TO DIE BECAUSE CAS DIED. The convo would work with Mary but not with Castiel.

Then, Dean plans a suicidal way out to save the ghosts. He does it so quick, Sam can't react to it. Dean literally kills himself in front of Sam.

The dialogue between Billie and Dean shows again that Dean is in so bad shape, he doesn't want to live, he changed after Castiel's dead. He won't recover of losing the love of his life, his faith. He knows Sam can move on from him. He is able to keep going. But Dean wants to stop. Because Castiel is dead.

Dean: So… am I dead?

Billie: You killed yourself.

Billie is pointing at Dean's suicidal behavior with that plan, because this time is different.

Dean: No. Are you keeping me dead?

Billie: Now that depends on you.

Billie is saying this because she is supecting Dean is different. Dean wanted this. So she tastes waters.

After this there's a negotiation, because Billie wants to know about the AU, because is very important to balance. And the Winchesters just keep bringing chaos.

But Dean exchanges the freedom of the ghosts from the Meadows House for information, the ghosts are released but the deal caught Billie's attention that when she asked for WHAT DEAN REALLY WANTED, Dean choose the ghost and not come back to life.

Billie: Because I do. Because…this whole multi-versal quantum construct we live in, it’s like a house of cards. And the last thing I need is some big, dumb Winchester knocking it all down.

This is important because we do know now Billie hated Dean for this.

Then, the truth is revealed...

Billie: You’ve changed. When you bargained with me just now, you could’ve asked to go back, to live.

Dean: Well, I figured with you in charge, there’s no getting back for me.

Billies faces him with her suspicions, but Dean lies.

Billie: That doesn’t sound like the Dean Winchester I know and love. The man who has been dead so many times but it never seems to stick. Maybe you’re not that guy anymore, they guy who saves the world, the guy who always thinks he’ll win no matter what. You have changed. And you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it but you know you won’t, you can’t and that scares the hell out of you. Or… am I wrong?

(Gif set credit @justjensenanddean )

Dean's silence confirms Billies suspicions. Dean's silence is affirming she just read his mind. He won't be okay, never again. Because this time is different, this time Castiel is dead, forever dead, and he really believe Cas won't come back. Life lost its meaning to him.

Dean: What do you want me to say? Doesn’t matter. I don’t matter.

Billie: Don’t you?

Dean really want to stay dead. He is so sad and lost, he doesn't want to live anymore. Nothing matters if Castiel is gone.

Dean: I couldn’t save Mom. I couldn’t save Cas. I can’t even save a scared little kid. Sam keeps trying to fix it, but I just keep dragging him down. So I’m not going to beg. Okay, if it’s my time, it’s my time.

Dean even is feeling guilty because Sam had lost his faith in the previous episode, and because now he is very worried about him.

Billie: You really believe that. [Dean shakes his head yes] You wanna die. Dean…every notebook on this particular shelf tells a version of how you die. You specifically, heart attack, burned by a red-haired witch, stabbed by a ghoul in a graveyard, and on and on. But which one’s right? That depends on you, on the choices you make.

Dean: Well, I guess I made my choice.

Here people, here! Billie makes the diagnosis and confirms his suspicious. Dean wants to be dead. And then she gave a him again the opportunity of come back to life, but Dean doesn't want to come back. He wants to remain dead! He's sure about it! He confirms it again when he says I GUESS I MADE MY CHOICE.

Billie: But…unfortunately none of these books say you die today.

The word unfortunately is not just for her but for him too. Because Dean really wants to be dead.

After this revealing and scaring dialogue, we were shown how deep Dean was into his depression for losing Castiel.

Then, another sad dialogue with his brother...

Sam: You okay?

Dean: No. Sam, I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay. You know, my whole life, I always believed that what we do was important. No matter what the cost, no matter who we lost, whether it was Dad or – or Bobby or –. And I would take the hit. But I kept on fighting because I believed that we were making the world a better place. And now Mom and Cas… And I – I don’t know. I don’t know.

Sam: So now you don’t believe anymore.

Dean: I just need a win. I just need a damn win.

Dean is tired, and now he has to live, without Cas, in the real world, and he's tired.

But then... And because "Cas wanted to come back to him with a win" and Dean had just asked for win, Castiel comes back to him. Castiel is his win.

The face Dean puts when he receives Castiel's call is priceless. He is in shock, he can't reply, he can't talk. Is a mix of feelings. He can't believe Cas is alive.

Then the encounter, adorned as if it was a wedding, or how some people described, a parallel to Romeo and Juliet encounter, with the Sam cross as the witness, and the song playing in the background, exhaustively analyzed, "It's not too late to start all over again."

(Gif set credit @codestielckles )

To Conclude:

This episode was magnificently written by Yockey, it was full of symbolism that pointed out to foreshadows to season 14, Michael and Dean's possesion.

But it also showed us how deep was Dean's depression, and which was the real cause of it: CASTIEL PERMANENT DEAD, the idea of not getting him back made Dean's life to lose its meaning. He didn't want to be alive in a world where Cas wasn't there.

Hope you like this meta. See you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read my previous metas from season 13 here you have the links:

Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV

Buenos Aires, January 10th 2021 1:03 PM

[espejonight28738]

Dean & Cas Meta 15×02

I'm gonna talk about the scene. Yeah, y'all know which one. And I know maybe at the beginning this may appear as a little bit of a stretch, maybe it is, but bear with me, I have a point here.

First, I want to show you the comparison I did between Dean and Cas' conversation in 4x22 Lucifer Rising (left) and the last episode 15x02 Rising Hell (right). (Click for better quality).

In Lucifer Rising Cas was still set on this idea of a righteous path, that destiny was a fixed thing and they could do nothing about it.

Dean and Cas are having a very similar discussion, just that their roles have inverted. And that's VERY IMPORTANT.

But Dean said fuck it. He said that destiny is bullshit, and people, families (relationships) are what is real.

And Cas could only think of the bad things, but Dean told him that's okay, it's better than something fake, that is worth it.

In Rising Hell is now Dean the one thinking everything was set from the beginning, and they could have never done anything about it. And is Cas place now to say fuck it. Yes, maybe Chuck put the obstacles in their way, but their decisions are theirs. And their relationship is real.

But now Dean can only think of everything they are and everything they have lost (the bad things), and Cas is the one who says that it is still worth it, because that's what life is.

You could say that in Lucifer Rising the discussion is Dean's Humanity vs Castiel's Faith, and in Hell Rising the conflict is Dean's Faith (and in, he completely believes and trust that everything is Chuck's doing) vs Castiel's Humanity.

But like I said, Dean's faith here is a negative one, and as @deans-top-13-zepp-traxx ​ already made painfully clear in this amazing gifset, Dean's faith arc is closely related to Cas, and right now they are both in a bad place with each other, so in only logical that the crisis he's having is one of faith.

Moreover, we have seen a little more of an emphasis in Castiel's angelic nature than what's normal. “I wouldn't starve”, “I'm an angel” and that beautiful sequence of Cas smiting zombies at the beginning of the first episode. Everything is trying to remind us that Cas isn't human. And… don't you think that his “people skills” are “rustier” than the last few seasons? I mean, Cas is adorably awkward in general, that's part of his personality, but he had learned how to blend pretty well with humans.

Now… The human that screamed at him at the beginning,, his on-going problem with Dean, and even his relationship with Sam is… weird. @verobatto-angelxhunter ​ already talked about why the desynchronization of Cas and Sam is so significant here and here, so you go read that if you haven't.

So all this emphasis on his angel-ness and his problems with humans at the same time… is like his humanity is in a little bit of a crisis here. And same as I said Castiel is closely related to Dean's faith, Dean is related directly to Cas' humanity.

Dean is the one who he followed when he reveled against heave. And post- season 5 is when he refuses to ask Dean for advice (“Everything he sacrificed, and I was about to ask him for more.”) that he made the entire God-stiel mess. He refused to get close to Dean (his humanity), and he completely lost his humanity as God. Obviously, Cas has evolved, I'm not saying he's about to go mad again, but I do think is sensible to say that it isn't coincidence his humanity is in crisis

And considering his angelic powers are weakening… this isn't gonna be pretty for Cas.

@metafest ​

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.19: “Jack in the Box”

THEN: Eh, you know all this. Oh, wait, here's something interesting - a reminder that Naomi was overcome by the Empty slime. Which reminds me of my theory that Naomi and/or Duma might actually be the Empty Entity. Hmmm. Oh, and also, all the Jack stuff.

NOW: There's a bunch of hunters in the bunker, drining beer and looking at pictures of Mary and her stuff on the map table. Including the picture Sam burned. Well, I'm glad it wasn't the only copy. And whatever these rings and calipers are that are always on the map table, apparently they're permanent, because they weren't removed for this little memorial display. Also, John's journal is part of the display, and I know they gave it to Mary to read, but still, it's John's. This bothers me.

So, are these surviving AU hunters? If not, that means the Winchesters have opened the bunker up to every hunter they know (and revealed its location to everyone they know), which is... not what I would have done. TFW makes an entrance (why were they not in there with their guests) and Dean thanks them for coming and makes a little speech but I'm finding it real hard to concentrate on Dean right now because LOOK AT SAM'S SHIRT. LOOK AT IT. It's CLOSE-FITTING and it's NOT PLAID and whatever awful things this episode does (and my completely unspoiled prediction is that IT WILL DO AWFUL THINGS), we at least got this.

I strongly suspect this is actually Jared's shirt.

Dean informs the gathered that they missed the pyre, sorry. And he mentions that some of them fought Michael with her in the other world so they ARE AU hunters! Or at least some of them! Well, that's good to know. Sam doesn't have to feel personally responsible for killing everyone who came over, just a handful. Including the only one who had a name, and probably that guy who called him Chief (sob), but some of them remain. Anyway. Dean gives his eulogy (and Sam's not the only worth a second look in this scene, because Dean looks pretty amazing as well) and they drink beer and then an AXE FLIES IN OUT OF NOWHERE, SLOWLY AND AWKWARDLY SPIRALING INTO A HUNTER'S HEAD. People seem surprised, but it's the mild kind of surprise you'd get if he threw his beer at somebody, not if an axe suddenly appeared embedded in his head. The thrower of the axe walks in - it's New Bobby. WELL.

Title card! Bobby informs me that it was a hatchet, not an axe, and he wants it back. (Sidebar: It literally never occurred to me to think about the difference between a hatchet and an axe until earlier this week when I was listening to a murder podcast that specified someone was killed with one, not the other.) He also tell us that the "hunter" was actually a wraith "from a nest your mom and I busted up" and SEE, GUYS? This is why you don't invite people to the bunker. Now a bunch of wraiths probably know where it is. And we know the warding is a joke. Cas thinks Mary would have appreciated a monster at her memorial. I don't think Cas knows Mary very well but whatever.

Bobby asks Sam how he and "the other one" are doing, and we watch Dean pack up Mary's belongings (including John's journal? that's going away?) and Sam says he "seems to be doing okay" which is, of course, how they operate. No one asks how Bobby's doing, even though he had a relationship with Mary too (and over the course of her life probably spent as much time with her as Sam did, when you come right down to it), but Bobby says he's not into public displays of grief anyway, and Dean is probably the same (which is true, except for when it's very very not true).

Sam suggests they drink the scotch Ketch left (and I wonder if this means Ketch came for the memorial, and left some scotch, or if he's referring to a bottle from a previous season that somehow remained through all those events that really would have called for some serious scotch-drinking) and talk about Mom. Dean points out that they have been talking about Mom and stalks out and leaves Sam sad.

Sam and Bobby and Cas settle for beer instead, and Dean walks in just as Bobby asks "what exactly happened to her, cause I'm hearing, the kid." Oh, that's interesting that they wouldn't have given him the whole story. Or maybe it's not. Maybe it makes sense that they'd keep things vague, tell everyone she "died on a hunt." Dean needs a drink, but not in the bunker. Sam tells him they need to talk about Jack, and he says "we will" and quickly makes his escape. Bobby and Cas have this funny exchange.

I liked the kid. We fought together. But there's only way this ends.

Bobby's right. We have to find Jack and help him.

What?

Hee! Cas feels Jack might not realize what he did was wrong, and Bobby astutely points out that if he didn't realize it was wrong, that's kind of a big problem, because if Kelly's influence has been burned away, that means Lucifer is all that's left. Bobby means to hunt him down. "An unstoppable monster who don't know right from wrong gets put down." Um, Bobby, let's consider the unstoppable part of that declaration. (Also, should someone point out to Bobby that Jack accidentally killed someone even back when he did have a soul? Probably not.)

Cut to Jack, who is still? again? at an abandoned warehouse or factory or something. He's remembering what he did, and wishing his mother was there to tell him what to do. Oh, she's not here, but Hallucidad is. He tells Jack that the Winchesters don't care about him, he was just a pet and a weapon, and again, it hurts knowing that this is Jack's subconscious saying these things. Jack thinks he can explain and apologize, and if that's so, Jack, then why didn't you do that when they caught you raising Mary's not-corpse? No, says Hallucifer, they hate you.

Cut to Dean, sitting outside somewhere in the dark, crying.

This is not okay. I mean, it is, but it's not.

Heaven. (yawn.) Cas again tells Duma that he wants to see Naomi, and again she denies him. It turns out Naomi is in "a very small cell" because Heaven was invaded under her watch. I didn't think they had enough spare angels around to lock one up just because they don't think she's a good leader. She might be a great follower. (Yeah, probably not.) Cas tells her he needs help looking for Jack, who has burned through his soul and is no longer being protected by the Winchesters. Hmmm, she says, this is very useful information to have. Internally. Out loud, she tells Cas she'll see what she can do, which he of course takes as an offer to help. Oh, Cas.

Bunker. Sam's working at his computer when Dean comes back. Sam's wearing a different shirt. I don't know if that means it's the next day, or just that he changed out of his nice funeral shirt. He asks Dean how he's doing, but Dean ignores that and asks what Sam's doing.

Trying to find Jack. We've gotta find him before Bobby and his crew, because if they find him first -

He's gonna kill them all.

... I don't know.

Oh, Sam, you DO know. You are obviously concerned about Bobby et al killing Jack, not the other way around. And it breaks my heart. Sam also wants to talk about Mary and the fact that they don't have to rely on faith to know Mary's in Heaven, because they personally know Heaven and angels are real. Dicks, but real. He says Mary's in a great place, with John, because again we're forgetting or denying what we know about Heaven. Dean, the eternal ray of sunshine, points out that there wasn't enough of Mary left to bring back to life even if they wanted to.

Back to Jack, who has a surprise visitor. It's Duma! Oh, cool, she's helping Cas find him, just like she said she would! Ha ha ha nope. (Sidebar: How did Duma find him, and why doesn't Cas have the same ability? Discuss.) He remembers her from his trip to Heaven that one time he died. She tells him Mary's death wasn't his fault, and he deserves redemption after his mistake, because he has "a glorious destiny." She tells him Heaven has fallen apart since God left, and no one gives them the respect they deserve, but Jack, YOU can save Heaven and make the world better and wouldn't that make Sam and Dean happy? Their first stop on the Make The World Better Tour is to turn a famous God denier into a pillar of salt. Oh, irony. (Also, he's safe from ghosts now, so. Bonus?)

Bunker. Cas is telling the Winchesters that Heaven promised to "make every effort" to find Jack. Which 1) isn't exactly what we saw happening, unless you're naive enough to think "I'll see what I can do" means "I'll make every effort", and b) even if that is what Duma said, as Dean points out, "Oh, Heaven promised? Great, well we should take that to the bank." But Cas thinks Heaven has as much reason to want to find Jack as they do. Which is true. But doesn't mean they're going to turn him over to you, Cassie.

Coincidentally, Sam has just read about Professor Pillar of Salt. "Why does that sound familiar?" Dean asks. You know, I don't know the Bible very well. If a particular event didn't show up in "Jesus Christ Superstar" or "The Ten Commandments," I'm not likely to be familiar with it. And yet I know about Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt. And I've never been to Heaven or met an angel. So.

Cas explains the story and says no ordinary angel could turn a human into salt. Sam reads another story about a dishonest televangelist (yeah, I know, that's redundant) who had a crevice open in the ground under her and swallow her up, and again Dean's not familiar with the story, but this time I'm not either. But Cas knows it's from the book of Numbers. Allegedly, only Jack or Chuck himself could perform these acts.

Heaven. Duma tells Jack he's doing excellent work, and he can help bring Heaven back to its previous glory.

Sam and Dean will like that?

Words can't begin to express how Sam and Dean will feel.

Hee!

So let's talk about what's going on here. I appreciate that they're framing this as Jack trying to get back into Sam and Dean's good graces. In fact, I'm a little hopeful at this point. If Jack-who-is-being-used-by-Heaven is the Big Bad, doesn't that mean stopping the Big Bad could just mean they rescue him from Duma's manipulation? Maybe? (Yeah, I know. But a girl can dream.)

Anyway. Duma's next task for Jack is to create more angels. She tells him he can't make them out of thin air, but if a human is "predisposed" to it, he might be able to forge them into an angel. Oooooh, this opens up some chilling possibilities about who could be turned into an angel. But it turns out he's not going after anybody named Winchester. He's just sitting on the throne "where your grandfather received prayers" (and where your father sat) and listening to prayers. (Sidebar: Why hasn't Sam tried to communicate with Jack by praying to him? Discuss.)

For whatever reason, he hones in on one particular group of worshippers who are about to discuss the book of Samuel (hee!) with Pastor Ames. Jack zaps into the room, asks if they meant it when they said they wanted to go to Heaven, and shows them his wings. Sold! Pastor Ames missing that demonstration, so when he comes in and calls Jack a liar, Jack hits him with another Biblical curse: "he was eaten by worms and breathed his last." Pastor Ames falls to the ground with worms popping out of him everywhere, and Jack and his future angels disappear.

Hospital. Guys, look at the suits! Have they ever worn such narrow pants? What is going on here? Someone new in the wardrobe department?

Mama like.

Agents Kilmister, Clark, and Taylor (hee) are visiting bandaged-up Pastor Ames, who identifies a photo of Jack. They leave, and Cas recites the relevant verse and Sam says, surprised, "so you think this is another Bible thing?" AS IF THAT WASN'T WHY THEY'RE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, and as they leave, we see that Pastor Ames is not over his worm infestation after all.

Back at the bunker, Dean tells Sam that he didn't want it to come to this, but they have no choice. Come to what? What's behind the door in room 5B? It's the thing we all knew was coming - the box! (And if you didn't see it coming, the title of this episode clearly gave it away, which is why I consider titles of unaired episodes to be spoilers.) Sam, who is clearly not behind this plan in any way shape or form, points out that they don't have the ability to force Jack into the box, and he won't go in there of his own free will.

But he might. He might if he only has to stay in there long enough for us to finish the spell to fix his soul.

Spell? What spell? There is no spell.

*We* know that.

Oh, no, this is not good, and Sam already hates it.

... So, you want to lie to him.

No, I mean, I *want* Zeppelin to get back together. But what I *need*, what *we* need, is to stop Jack. Big difference. But here's the deal; we both gotta sign off on it. This might be our only shot, and if he even catches a whiff that this is a scam, he's off into the wind.

Exactly. Now, how do you think he's not gonna know something's up?

Because you're gonna be so damn sincere -

Me? Why me?

Because you've always been in his corner. You're his go-to guy. Sam, if you reach out, he'll come. If I do it, after what happened to Mom, I could lose him. I *will* lose him.

Oh no, no, no, Sam is SO not on board with this plan. Because the worst thing that could happen is that it doesn't work, and the second worst thing is that it does work. Dean is so calmly insistent, and Sam is so unhappy, and his FACE when Dean tells him HE will be sincere is just killing me, and no matter what I think about this episode or or this entire story arc, I love what the guys are doing with this scene.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm finding a silver lining here.

Sam sits down at the library table and begins praying to Jack, which doesn't answer my question of why they haven't already tried communicating with him that way. In fact, it makes me ask it harder. He tells him that they're family, and bad things happen in families but they want to get through it, they want to be like they were before. Jack hears Sam's prayer as he assembles his future angels. Meanwhile, Cas has barged his way into Heaven to rescue Jack, having figured out that Heaven has no mercy and angels do bad things, and Cas? How is this POSSIBLY news to you? Duma threatens to end Mary and John's happy little afterlife together (Is this confirmation that they really are sharing a Heaven, even though his name isn't on the door? Maybe. Do I accept it? Not necessarily) so Cas stabs her. Well. We're down to, what, ten angels now? He calls for Jack, but Jack's already gone, having just appeared in the bunker.

Jack tells Sam and Dean he's been working with Heaven, and "if it helps, I regret it... the accident."

Again, the guys do a beautiful job with this scene. Even if it's an awful, awful scene, they're acting the hell out of it. Sam is as anxious as he was when he was trapped in a cell with Jack the day he was born, the way his hands twitch when he gets up from the table and circles behind Dean, and then carefully places himself between Dean and Jack, and how he physically reacts when Jack steps closer, and they're both keeping their distance and moving so carefully, and then there's the way Dean is practically unblinking and is very obviously working SO HARD not to spontaneously combust, staying practically motionless and keeping his voice even, although anyone could tell he's absolutely BOILING under the surface from the look on his face and his tone of voice every time he says the accident. All of this is amazing.

But yeah, it is also an awful scene. Because Jack isn't guilty or apologetic at all. He's actually kind of smug about working with Heaven and making angels, and very condescending about regretting "the accident," and I just don't think he would be there. I think he would tell them how sorry he was, and that he tried to fix it, and basically everything he said to Hallucifer. He wouldn't say "I knew you'd understand" when they tell him they forgive him. His blind self-assurance would make sense if it came at the end of a 2- or 3-episode arc, where Duma had spent more than a day telling him how awesome he was. So while I love Sam and Dean in this scene, love them to pieces, Jack is just... ugh. Beyond OOC. Moving on. Dean tells Jack they're working on a way to fix his soul, and they want to keep him safe (from having another ACCIDENT) in the meanwhile. Sam oh-so-tentatively puts a hand on Jack's shoulder and dear GOD he is so afraid and I LOVE IT.

Again, quite a silver lining to this dark little raincloud.

They take him to the room with the magic box, which Dean claims is "actually pretty comfortable." Dean stays still and Sam fidgets and Jack says "okay" and climbs into the box. "How long before I can come out?" he asks. Sam is more and more fidgety as he says "not too long," and Dean is like stretched rubber band about to snap as he holds himself back from slamming the lid down. "Jack, we got this," Sam lies. "Okay," Jack says again, and he lies down and they didn't even put a pillow in the damn box, why does he think this is okay, why does he think they're working in his best interest if they didn't even give him a damn pillow? Dean shuts the lid and rushes to close the locks and Sam hates this, hates it so much.

Shhh. Don't even listen. Just turn the sound down and enjoy the pretty, pretty angst.

Alone in the box, Jack calls to the Winchesters, but they're already shutting the door to room 5B. They move to the kitchen to finish off Ketch's scotch and talk about the future.

So what do we do now? Just go on, with Jack locked up in there forever?

We have to.

I don't know if I can do that.

Dean ignores Sam's shaky voice and decides to talk about the scotch and sure, we all recognize this is Dean's way of coping. Pretend it's not happening, pretend it doesn't bother him. Because I have to think that, no matter how much he wants revenge against Jack, he understands that being locked in that box forever is still a horrible fate. (A fate Dean was willing to accept, but still.) Sam, meanwhile, needs to talk, just like he needed to talk about Mary.

You know, I never thought it would end like this, with Jack.

Sammy, we knew from the beginning it was a long shot with him.

Yeah. Yeah. But, long shots are kind of our thing.

So let's talk about Sam's guilt. His beautiful, beautiful guilt. Not only over tricking someone he loves into being locked up in a box forever, but for bringing Jack into their lives in the first place. And yet. Jack has always been unstoppable, hasn't he? So if Sam hadn't opened his humongous heart and taken him in, he would have been out there alone. No one teaching him how to use and control his powers, no one keeping him away from Lucifer. He would have been an unstoppable enemy instead of an unpredictable ally. Sam did the right thing, even though it ended bad. Because it was always going to end bad.

Have I mentioned that I could watch an entire episode that was just Dean drinking?

Back in room 5B, Jack's starting to panic, and still calling for Sam and Dean. They don't show up, but Hallucifer does (oh god, I want to see Sam find out he basically locked Jack in that box with Lucifer) and informs Jack he's been played.

In the kitchen, Cas arrives with the news that Duma has been manipulating Jack, and they really need to find him. The guys are all, oh, whoops, forgot to call you, he's here, locked in the box.

Jack gets glowy eyes and tries to break out of the box, but nothing happens.

Cas is horrified that the guys still plan to keep Jack in the box, even knowing his latest acts were due to being manipulated. Sam says "That's the problem. If he's that easily manipulated, he's too dangerous to be out of the box." Oh, no he doesn't. Instead, Dean says "He agreed to it." Yes, in much the same way Sam agreed to be Gadreel's vessel. You keep telling yourself that, Dean. In fact, Dean is trying to claim that deep down, Jack knows it's best. Oh, no, no you don't. Cas points out that Dean manipulated Jack as much as Duma did.

(Sidebar: I'm convinced that Sam would be able to forgive Jack. Because of his endless capacity for forgiveness, and because he sees himself as being in Jack's shoes at a different point in his life. Dean, on the other hand, would not. Because Dean is a normal human being when it comes to forgiveness, and because Dean puts loyalty to family above everything else.)

Box. Jack tries harder. Lucifer laughs. The box glows.

Kitchen. The arguing is interrupted by an earth-shattering kaboom. Things fall off shelves. The red emergency lights and klaxon come on. TFW leaps up and runs to room 5B. The room is a smoke-filled wreck and a figure with glowing gold eyes is walking out of the red-tinged smoke. "Jack," Sam gasps.

Duh duh duuuuuhhhh! Next week, Cas makes Dean write I knew a nephilim was more powerful than its angel parent but I assumed the box would be stronger than Jack anyway 100 times on the blackboard.

Okay, the bad happened, as we all figured it would. But let's talk about the good. Jack's not locked in the box forever. That's a relief - it would have been a very unsatisfactory conclusion. And the guys looked extraordinary. And there was so much emotion, both the tightly-controlled type, and the worn-on-his-sleeve type, and I love them both. Honestly, considering what happened in this one, and who wrote it, it was a lot better than I expected. A lot better than it could have been. (Will I go read your reactions now and see that every single one of you disagrees with me? Quite possibly.)

Next week is the next-to-last "Carry On Wayward Son."

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

[supertransural]

My Bloody Valentine, what the hell

Okay. I know I'm probably not writing a hot take with this one, but I just needed to get all my tangled up thoughts out in the form of coherent strings of words ("coherent" is debatable as you'll probably find out if you read this entire thing).

So here I was, watching a random commentary video, and this scene from 5x14 My Bloody Valentine was included in it:

Now that. That's a bi flag. We know how much care set designers put into the details of the scenes we see. This is an episode centered around love. The cupid here talks about "Love", as in, the broad term. The "all-encompassing" term, if you will. He also says he "loves love", which I personally interpret as "in all its shapes and forms", and I don't believe that interpretation of what the cupid is saying is that far-fetched, after all, he kind of is Love (with a capital L). So what does that scene mean?

Let's find out.

First of all, I just feel like I should mention that I think pansexuality would be a better way to "represent" that sort of sentiment around what Love is, but if I'm not mistaken, the pansexual flag was created after this episode aired, and even if the word "pansexual" has existed for a pretty long time in various studies and areas (usually in psychology, if I understand correctly?), and has been used in LGBTQ+ spaces for a while too, it's still not as "commonly known" in the day-to-day life of cishet people, at least not in the same way that being bi is.

That being said, here's one more little nugget before I do a quick analysis of the scene. The idea of being bi is probably the closest thing that any not-very-informed-but-supportive-ish cishet person could think of if they wanted to relate the concept of "love for the sheer sake of love, having love for anyone, love of the masses" to actual characters and how they're able to love their peers (or more accurately, which peers). It's not so surprising to me that this would be the flag chosen by set designers when trying to pass on the message of "this interaction is about love as a general concept, this cupid is love, this cupid loves everyone, and will bless any couple, and yeah in that scene two out of the three characters (other than the cupid himself) stand in front of that light, no reason haha". It makes sense.

Now, onto the actual substance of this.

First of all, because it's funny, Dean why are you literally staring at this cupid's dick, honestly, what the fuck, Sam is averting his eyes (good call), Cas looks like he's only interested in analyzing the cupid's face (more on that later) and nothing else, why are you staring downwards why why why and why (hello, jacting choices). Second of all, because it's funny too, why do you look slightly flustered, in an oh-god-this-is-not-a-drill-shit-oh-god-fuck-embarrassed way? I mean Sam looks like he's been to hell and back, but not flustered.

It's also specifically interesting to see both Cas and Dean being the ones standing together in front of that light. It happens just a little while before, right here:

They're. Staring at a cupid, whose job it is to bless couples, who's Love incarnate, he hugged these two idiots first before getting to Sam, which means something and I'm not exactly sure what but, if you still have braincells (unlike me) please tell me what you conclude of those facts compiled together.

In this particular scene, I don't think the flag is actually a pointer to specific characters being bi, I think it's more of a broad "yeah these guys love a little different" kind of thing. For example, we see Cas in front of that light a lot.

This is season 5, he's barely starting to understand what emotions are, but he's already faithful to Dean and his cause, he's beginning to get what liking things, what caring means. He doesn't figure it all out until way later (in my personal opinion, that is. And I mean... 15x18 anyone?) no, at that point he's driven by things like want, need, yeah, I'll say it, lust, or simple candid curiosity. But that ties into the idea that right now, in that episode, Cas' understanding of "Love" is very broad. He doesn't understand details yet, the only detail he knows is Dean vs the World, and all he gets about that is "the world matters to Dean, there's probably a reason for that, if I follow him around enough I'll probably discover it, and I trust him enough to lead me there". He's still an angel, fairly through and through. He's curious, though.

Refer back to that previous gif, Cas is watching with acute interest what that cupid is doing. Prior to this scene, he's known the "mission" that cupids uphold for thousands of years, but I doubt he's ever really looked at it with the help of the lens of actual humans (read: Dean). He's interested, this cupid's job is to create love, and that seems to be something inherently tied to what makes his charge... himself. That much he knows. Again, probably not in detail, probably not that precisely, but he's got a sense that this cupid represents something he doesn't know and hasn't felt before, yet something Dean and Sam are accustomed to, and driven by. So yeah, he's curious.

Now here's the thing. We see Dean standing in front of that light, both alone, with the cupid, and with Cas. On several occasions.

(something something something bi flag in the background something something something character centered around love something something something the word "dick" something something something what the fuck CW)

We see the cupid standing in front of the light (scroll back up), and we see Cas in front of the light, with the cupid, alone, and with Dean. What about Sam?

...Yeah, no. I replayed that scene several times and I didn't find one instance where we see Sam even remotely lighted by that flag. And when I say remotely, I mean like this:

The light being somewhat noticeable in the background. Even when we see Sam after he moves a bit, like so:

The light is nowhere to be seen. That's after the cupid's left too, so it makes sense the flag wouldn't be relevant anymore: the entity that it represents isn't there to give it meaning anymore. I mean, during that entire scene Sam's a bit (gross understatement, I know) of a background character, but that's simply because he's not the main focus of what the cupid and the flag mean.

Dean though. Dean's a focus alright. No one can ever convince me otherwise, he's bi. That's just a fact at this point. But that's not all the flag and the cupid mean when relating to him here. He's beginning to form a type of bond with Cas, albeit small. He's starting to open up a door that he's never really noticed before: the one that lets people other than blood relatives (or close runner-ups like Bobby) in. And he's facing that head on, like how he's facing the cupid. Both he and Cas do that actually, in their own way. They're looking straight into the eyes of the unknown (Cas literally looks into the eyes of the cupid): for Cas it's this strange foreign thing called emotion, and for Dean it's letting a known emotion be directed at someone new. They're the ones that talk to the cupid, not Sam, because they have things to be curious or apprehensive about, in the context of love (or different love).

They stand in the highlight of that flag, because they're the ones discovering new things (hello, 10x16 speech, yes I'm relating a random scene with a funny light to a speech 5 seasons later, leave me be, I'm insane) and not Sam, who's for one: human, so he already knows what love is, and two: way more in touch with his feelings than his brother. Basically, the concept of Love being something strange, unknown, new, different, scary, worth punching it in the face for, deserving of focused study, take your pick, doesn't really apply to him.

How could I relate this to destiel you ask? Very easily, I say. This, theydies and gentlethems, is a representation of the first step both Cas and Dean take towards each other. A toe in the waters of a frightening and captivating new thing. And again, they face it in a really direct manner.

That is... Right up until the cupid mentions John and Mary. That's when it goes downhill and we understand that whatever Dean and Cas have going on is about to take years of work and a million steps still need to be taken.

Exhibit a:

Look at Cas' face, when the cupid mentions the Big Plan. He starts by studying the cupid (again, curiosity), then looks at Dean, then Dean briefly looks back (perhaps back at Cas but that's debatable), and that's when Cas looks down, embarrassed. I read that as: "Ah yes, as interesting of a concept this cupid is, as fascinating as these two humans' perspective on his mission is, it's still dictated by Heaven, and they're not going to like that. I'm still dictated by Heaven (as I should (???)) and... He's not going to like that. (???)".

Annnnd then Dean punches the cupid in the face, which... Good point, Cas, he indeed doesn't "like that".

So what are those steps highlighted by the ending of that scene? Well, Cas is an angel. Dean is clueless about so many things. He doesn't have faith. Cas isn't exactly free. It's just always about the plan and the mission, whatever comes up in their tumultuous adventures together, it always brings them right back to the core of why there's still such a long way to go: who they are.

All in all, that scene is just. Imagery there, imagery here, reference after reference, big red arrows (yes, I'm using "arrows" in the context of a cupid episode, I fully intend this sentence to have a double meaning) pointing at Dean and at Cas and at them both together. It's not necessarily a direct reference at either of them being bi, although for obvious reasons that's not exactly off the table either, it's sort of a piece of foreshadowing for what's to come, both in that season itself, and the rest of their relationship (here I use "relationship" as a term meaning something like "friendship-that-evolves-into-something-more-later-on").

In short, I'd like to conclude (you can use that as a TL;DR) by quoting my brain when I first saw that flag and connected a couple dots:

"lol bi".

[amwritingmeta]

"ompletely depending on whether my hunch is right and they really are winding down the narrative" don't we already already know that that's not the case? They said the show isn't ending and many years left. Or is this refering to something else can you "wind down the narrative" without ending the show?

Hello lovely Nonny!

Okay, so, when it comes to what they’re saying I think they know and we know that anything can happen. And we know that they know that we know that we should take whatever they say with fistfuls of salt. And they know that we know… oh, my God, why did I start doing that? That’s just confusing. 

They say they want to keep going for years? I say awesome! 

I say I am in it for the long haul. No matter fucking what I will stand by my faith in the fact that these writers know what they’re doing. So they want to drag this sonofabitch out until doom’s day? FUCK. YES. Bring-it-on. 

But that said, it’s also my absolute faith in them knowing what they’re doing that sort of underlines my belief that they’ve built this peak they’re breaching with the S12 finale and that they’ve built it for a reason.

12x22 and 12x23 provided a huge turning point for the narrative.

Each of our three main characters - and Dean may be our protagonist, but the narrative still circles three main characters - are standing on thresholds here:

The brodependency has lapsed because Dean put his faith in Sam’s individual abilities to lead.

Sam has stepped out of Dean’s shadow, out of the role of “follower” and into the role of Leader.

Cas is… well, very dead. But is poised for rebirth, for transformation.

And why is this important?? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MATTER?

Happy you ask. (you asked) (shut up)

The narrative up until 12x22 has been focused on what?

Well, mostly the focal point has been the brodependency, and with good reason, right? The show is about the brothers Winchester.

But let us never forget this —> Dean’s character growth is linked - without question - to his feelings for Cas. 

Cas opened Dean up to the need for a change in his attitude. Mary was the key in the lock of Dean dealing with that one missing piece from his past that, up until 12x22, for him was the unrecognised cornerstone of his lost childhood: his mother’s choices, her sacrifices in the name of love. Accepting them. Accepting her, in spite of everything, and letting the love for her into his heart was what he needed most. He needed to forgive his mother in order to let go of the past - a past that has always seemed to define the present - and move into his future. Because the past doesn’t decide who you are now.

You decide who you want to be now.

And that’s the lesson for all of our boys.

Decide.

Self-acceptance leading to self-worth.Fucking threefold endgame, peeps.

And right now, right where they’re at, right where S13 is starting, they have placed the characters in a narrative pocket that more or less forces each of them into MAKING A DECISION. Or at least taking the first trying steps toward endgame. And endgame means series wrap to me. 

So, answer to your second question is: 

No, there is no other way of winding down the narrative than to wind it down specifically to endgame.

Unless.

Unless they’re doing a reboot of the narrative.

And by reboot I mean changing the dynamics. Growing the characters into fresh versions to carry the story for another decade. 

Who knows?! But it still means following through on what they’re giving us right now, which is new beginnings for each of the characters and this change in dynamics marking this huge turning point.

Dean is letting go of his need to protect Sam, which has been Dean’s motivation FOR THE ENTIRE SERIES so far. It has been the reason why he has put on his performing!Dean persona, dressing himself in the guise of John Winchester in order to keep Sam safe. To do the right thing. Dean’s new beginning is linked to dropping his facade and being himself. Meaning? Yeah, his true self is closely linked to Cas. There’s no way around that. Not the way they’ve built their love story for nine years and how integral it has always been to Dean’s character growth.

Sam is stepping into the role as leader and, I think and hope, he’ll find his individual motivation in rounding up hunters and, quite possibly, legacies to form his own MoL chapter. It would fit his personality to such a T that if they don’t move him along these lines it would shock me to the core. It’s so beautifully set up!! *excitement* 

Cas. CasCasCas. CAS. If he comes back human… Click, click, click go all the puzzle pieces. But I throw my hands up because who knows, who knows. I just have HOPE that this is the transformation and the slow return Misha’s mentioned. If not? Well, he may come back… BAMF KILLER ANGEL S4!CASTIEL ON CRACK! (…but I doubt it…)

Narrative aside, I feel they have reason for wrapping it up because they boys aren’t getting younger, they all have families they would like to prioritise and the truth is, what writer/actor/crew so deeply involved with the story they’ve been telling for over a decade doesn’t want to wrap it up in a satisfactory, emotionally fulfilling way and end on it on absolute top? 

With all the plot strands tied up.

All the character arcs reaching endgame.

The explored themes properly stated so there is no question that: 

THIS IS WHAT THIS SHOW IS ABOUT.

They’ve set themselves up, effortlessly now, to deliver all of this. 

And they may do it in two seasons or less, but I have a hard time seeing them going beyond S14. 

AGAIN, this is based on how I read the narrative. I admit they could drag it out, they’ve done it before, but what they cannot do is take back the progression of the characters - these thresholds will need to be crossed. Hand to Chuck. And looking at that image of a dusty, neglected Baby, I do feel it seems very likely that Dean’s character evolution is continuing due to Cas’ death. 

That Wonder Woman addition to the intro of the series recap before the SDCC panel seems to underline how Dean’s bisexuality will be part of the narrative now, and Dean’s “Thank you. She is awesome” seems to denote that he will not be objecting to this. If Cas has been intrinsic for Dean wanting to open up to his bisexuality (and oh he has, he so so so has) it just stands to reason that Cas will continue to be just that.

Meaning it’s not just the brodependeny arc that is peaking.

It’s the love story arc peaking as well.

And because of these facts I just cannot see them dragging the narrative out for years to come. Unless we actually do get Hunter Husbands and Sam as MoL Leader and rainbows and sunshine and TFW FOREVER.

In which case, holy hell, sign me up because I am already onboard that ship!

Thanks for the prompt and hope this answers your questions! 

xx

[isthisimportant]

Supernatural MBTI Types

A/N:- Since I made one for Dean I thought of doing one for Sam as well. This is not a professional or even a smart opinion. 'Tis just my own.

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

11) Sam Winchester

Sam, I feel, is a sometimes misunderstood character. He is a very rare personality type but it's still just as beautiful and unique. So let's go straight ahead and break down the four traits.

1. Introversion/Extraversion

Sam is very clearly an introvert. There are so many reasons why we can conclude that. His constant disliking for nights in bars with his brother, his preference to do things alone and not necessarily with someone else, his disliking for elaborate costumes or any sort of partaking in grandiose celebrations like in the pilot all point at him being an introvert. Introverts also tend to be themselves most in the company of a lesser number of people. Sam is most comfortable with Dean and never really shows his true self to anyone but him. This shows that he is in fact, an I.

2. Sensing/Intuitive

Sam tends to lean onto hope whenever the two are in a pickle. He believed in God, angels even mistook Lucifer's visions to be visions from God because he believed. It's said that usually, those who rely on sensing see the trees and those who are more intuitive tend to see the forest. To me, Sam almost definitely sees the forest. He tends to look for hidden meaning in objects and stories and incidents most of the time. His unwavering faith in God shows how he isn't really the "I need to see it first" kinda guy. He is also someone who is ready to entertain a lot of possibilities even when they're hunting and is ready to assume that there's always a new monster they don't know about. This particular character of his shows he's an N.

3. Thinking/Feeling

When Sam takes decisions they are almost always motivated by his strong feelings. He tends to do what is right and tries to come to a harmonious solution which will benefit everyone and not necessarily look to a certain set of rules or conventions. This can be seen in his views about hunting. The common idea is that you shoot or gank the monster always and never leave room for doubt. But Sam is ready to let the monster go if it deems worthy of that freedom. Also, in the case of demons he is seen to take a stand (I think in season 11) and try his best to not kill the human being possessed. Him being a follower of and agreeing with Mahatma Gandhi, who always preferred harmony, shows his way of considering everyone involved in the decision and making sure it benefits them before taking it. True at times, he is also seen to take decisions out of revenge, hatred or self-loathing but that again proves that he is more of an F than a T.

4. Judging/Perceiving

They say those who have a judging trait tend to have regular habits that they stick to. They like planning ahead more than leaving their options open and letting things fall into place. They prefer knowing what they're doing and where they're going over letting the wind take them wherever it goes. They prefer fighting or working towards a cause. Sam is seen to have a few set habits and has no problem in getting out of bed at a routine time in the morning. He prefers laying out a plan of everything and knowing what they're dealing with before taking action. His health habits too, show his farsightedness and how he constantly thinks about the future and settling down shows he prefers a routine and a concrete life over an unpredictable one. This shows that Sam is quite possibly a J.

So to sum up, we have:-

Introverted

iNtuitive

Feeling and

Judging

So basically, INFJ. Sam Winchester, according to me, is an INFJ. Thank you for reading.

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

A/N:- If you want me to analyse any other character, you can always drop an ask.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCVI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Destiel Reunion and the Cowboys Date

(13x06)

Hello my dears! We are finally here, in TOMBSTONE fanfiction 🤣

And of course, a whole unique volume for this delicious episode.

Dean is happy now

The reunion between Cas and Dean was really very beautiful. First of all we have Dean incredulous face, he can't believe what his eyes are seeing, he can't believe Cas is alive and in front of him.

DEAN: Cas, is that really you?

SAM: No. You're – you're dead.

CASTIEL: Yeah, I was. But then I… annoyed an ancient cosmic being so much that he sent me back.

Dean is hopes, Sam reality in this dialogue. Every inch of Dean wished Cas to come back. Now that he has him there, his eyes can't believe, but he really wants. And Sam brings back the fact that Cas was definitely dead.

SAM: I don't even know what to say.

DEAN: I do. Welcome home, pal.

(Gif set credit @gabrielokun )

This hug is beautiful, Sam is still surprised, but Dean react with a hug, he missed his angel so much, he is the one "running towards him" at first. The emotion in his eyes, and the relieved and happiness to have him back. The love of his life is back, after so much suffering.

CASTIEL: How long was I gone?

DEAN: Too damn long.

(Gif set credit @shirtlesssammy )

And here we have the difference between Family Love and Romantic Love:

When Mary Winchester comes back in 12x01, she makes the same question Castiel did. But Dean's answer is different. He can calculate the exacting days and years his mother had been dead. But with Cas is different, Cas represents the love of his life, his hopes, he was suicidale after he was gone, so... That time Cas wasn't there with him, it felt like eternal. That's why he didn't calculated, Because it was TOO DAMN LONG.

And he says it with the painful remembrance in his eyes, red because he wasn't sleeping well, and because he maybe had crying so many times.

After this angsty scene, we have a huge change in Dean. He is happy now, so happy, that he can't hide it. He is shinning again. Smiling. Hopeful. And in addition, he has a cowboy adventure, even when the data they have from Dodge City isn't that clear, he drags the whole team to it.

And just like in season 5, he rewrites TFW now 2.0, describing each member enthusiastically.

DEAN: Yeah, but we should probably check it out.

CASTIEL: Wait. Really?

DEAN: Yeah, we've done more on less. Besides Dodge City's kind of, uh, kind of awesome. All right, well… two salty hunters, one half-angel kid, and a dude who just came back from the dead. Again. Team Free Will 2.0. Here we go.

Before continuing with this happy Dean, let's check a mystery, that had been solved in season 15. Why Jack had power on the Empty or how is that Cas woke up. Of course it was Jack's power over the Empty, because he will be new god, but also, it was the Profound Bond, the deep love these men feels for each other the path Jack used to find Castiel. Is so freaking romantic I just can't...

Okay, coming back now with happy Dean...

And how Sam was trying to make him confess... Something else. Noticing the change in his brother, knowing what was the cause of it, it was so blatant, that the smart little brother confirms here Dean's true feelings for the angel...

SAM: Still can't believe you brought your own hat.

DEAN: Well, I can't believe you didn't.

SAM: You're in a good mood, huh?

DEAN: Yeah. And?

Sam was waiting some time alone to ask this to him. Imagine you saw your brother in so bad shape a day ago, suicidal, not having faith or hopes in life... An now, he's happy, shining. Smiling. Laughing. What could happen? Of course, CAS is back... But is Dean ready to confess what he feels for him to his brother? Or even, to recognize his own feelings for the angel?

(Gif set credit @deansplushy )

Dean recognize Castiel is not just the win he needed, but the BIG WIN he wanted in his heart. And he stops there. He can't say more, but is not necessary to say it. Sam is an insightful person, and he gets it. He understands and confirms Dean loves Castiel in that special way. But he is not ready to "come out from the closet" . And the scene that comes after this one, is Sammy, smiling crookedly and tilting his head, Because he knows the message behind those words. He turns back and closes a closet. Pure Symbolism.

Cowboys Adventures

Let's jump now to the "angry bear" scene.

What it means? Simply and perfectly, that scene means CASTIEL WATCHING DEAN SLEEPING OR EVEN TRYING TO WAKE HIM UP. Both of it reveals CASTIEL IN DEAN'S ROOM. INTIMACY. First hint of scene we've never seen. But indirectly pointing at a canon fact. And we love it.

Also, bossy, grumpy Dean that needs his coffee to function. And Castiel just submissively obeying his angry bear and sitting back in the coach... Damm these two... Their dynamic had always been like that, but we didn't have enough of it. We didn't have enough of domestic destiel.

Then, once in the car, Castiel is wearing a cowboy hat. So, it means they had to go to buy it somewhere. Just Imagine Dean looking for a cowboy hat to fit in Cas' head.

He fixes his boyfriend, because he wants him to look even more good.

DEAN: All right, listen, these Dodge City cops aren't likely to trust big city folks, so we're gonna have to blend.

CASTIEL: Which is why you're making me wear this absurd hat.

DEAN: It's not that bad. Well, actually, yeah, it kind of is. Hang on. [Dean reaches over and removes the hat band and tosses it in the back seat] All right. That's better.

CASTIEL: Is it?

(Gif credit @grumpycas )

This scene shows us again their intimacy and how Castiel just accepts to be part of his fantasies. He is willing to play Dean's cowboys game. Because he loves him. And this means to share a good time with him. But, CAS worries about how he looks. And he peeks into the rear viewer mirror, and if you look at Dean's facial expressions, I think he's having a heart attack for Cas' proximity. Hahahahss. Oh, Dean you're so in love in this date.

DEAN: [sighs] Yeah. Look, just act like you're from Tombstone, okay?

CASTIEL: The city?

DEAN: The movie. With Kurt Russell? I made you watch it.

CASTIEL: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The one with the guns and tuberculosis. [in a deep cowboy voice] "I'm your Huckleberry."

DEAN: Yeah, exactly. Well, it's good to have you back, Cas. All right, follow my lead. We'll fit right in.

Gif credit @agusvedder

Okay i really think here is when Dean had a heart attack, an stroke and a bonner, at the same time, I will elaborate hahahaha

Another hint of their INTIMACY, is the fact that they watch movies together! Not just that, but Dean made CAS watch Tombstone, and who know how many other movies! (More domestic Destiel)

And then... Cas goes for it, because he knows how Dean loves cowboys, and because he is a sexy, hot, angel that knows how to seduce him, not just with eye fucking... But... Using the link over Dean.

And it works... Because the hunter closes his eyes, swallows and tries not to faint right there of arousal. And then, shamelessly, he just says IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK, CAS.

And then, is so funny to watch Cas trying to follow Dean's lead. Oh gosh... Hilarious. Rom com.

Symbolism of the rest of the episode

Dean's bisexuality

Dave and Athena were a representation of Dean's bisexuality, just as in the Rocky's bar in 14x10.

In this episode we have Toxic!Dean mirrored by the monster, Dave and Innocent/Healing!Dean mirrored by Athena.

The dynamics between them was similar to te dynamics in the Rocky's bar, in which Dean's toxicity and AU!Michael, the monster, tried to keep Dean locked inside his emotional toxic prison.

DAVE: Athena, don't you think we have a good thing here? Why do you wanna go mess it up?

ATHENA: Whatever. I have to work.

Athena wanted to improve his life, to go to school and move to a bigger city. To be better. She had dreams. Innocent, is the best part of Dean.

Another important fact is Dave wearing another's man face, a very known bandit, adding to one of the topics of this season: masks, fake identity, as a foreshadow of Dean's possession.

So Dave is Toxic!Dean, his own monsters, trying to keep him in the darkness.

The visual narrative adds to this symbolism the red ascot I'm both characters, Dave and Athena, to point out again at Dean.

Jack and Dean

We will have Jack killing an innocent man because he couldn't control his powers. As a foreshadow of when he will kill Mary not controlling his powers again.

Jack carries with a green backpack, green is Dean's color, and the backpacks means guilts.

Here is when Jack starts feeling guilt for killing a man. TFW will connect with him trying to explain that's part of the job.

All the dead people and killing the monster

When Dave comes back with Athena, she discovers he is a monster, and rejects him. Because he killed someone. This is very symbolic because in Dean's head, he sees himself as a monster, a murderer, and he hates that part of him.

So, at the end of the episode, Dean says alone, helps the sheriff, the righteous man, saves him and saves the girl, his innocence, killing the monster, his toxicity.

This episode showed us the future inner battle Dean will have to win. And it will be successful.

To Conclude:

This was a very Destiel episode, they showed us hints of how intimate Dean and CAS are with each other. And how much Dean is in love with CAS.

The happiness after Castiel's returning alive, gives Sam almost a confirmation of Dean's true feeling for Castiel, assuming he is not ready yet to get out from the closet.

There was a foreshadow of AUMichael possessing Dean, and the inner battle of 14x10.

Dave and Athena represented Dean's bisexuality and part of his personality. Keeping in mind Athena is the greek goddess of wisdom, war strategy, is the good part of Dean and innocence.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season here you have the links:

Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV.

Buenos Aires January 17 2021 02:31 PM

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXX

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Cas, Cas, Cas

(11x18)

Hi! We just reached one of my favorite episodes, I'm talking about "Hell's Angel" or… Dean's desperate quest to rescue his angel.

Joshua's Horn

Just a few words about the Hand of God chosen in this chapter: Joshua's Horn.

One of the books that compose the Bible from the Old Testament is Joshua, if you read chapter 6, it talks about how the Jewish people, more exactly seven priests, broke down Jericho's walls using seven  horns. Jericho was a strong city, that had closed it's walls, and it was blocking the path through the promised land.

So, the symbology of all of this is… with faith, you can destroy any wall that stands between you and your dreams.

What this has to do with Destiel and this episode? I would say, everything.

Dean will remain firm in his decision to get Cas back, he doesn't care about Amara or any end of the world, he wants Cas. As we will see later, his plan in how to do it, is reckless and illogical if you think about war.

But let's come back to analogy I made before about making the walls to collapse, to defeat the fears, depression, repression, to reach our treasurer once for all: Wasn't Dean trying to do this when he summoned Casifer? Trying to reach Castiel? To break down those walls between vessel and Lucifer and get to his angel? 

Wasn't Cas sinked inside his own walls of sadness, depression and guilt? 

Isn't Dean true love for Castiel surrounded by walls of shame? (recalling here the Qareen speech).

Priorities

Let's speak now about a canon fact here, I'm not gonna say something new, but because I was pointing the clues in previous episodes, I have to talk about it.

When Dean and Sam went to see Crowley, it was very blatant the difference between Sam's priorities and Dean's. 

Sam: Dean's right. Priority is to put the Horn in Lucifer's hands and set him loose on Amara.

Dean: After we exorcise Lucifer out of Cas and put him into a new vessel.

Sam: What? Really?

Dean: Yes, really. We're not gonna send Lucifer into battle inside Cas. What if he doesn't make it?

Here is something you all already know: WAR DECISION vs HEART DECISION. Sam thinks war strategy, his plan is pure logic, in every war there's collateral damage. Cas is the one that had chosen that path, he is willing to be the collateral damage, self sacrifice for the greatest good. But Dean is following his heart (thank you Mildred) he loves Castiel, the angel is the love of his life and he doesn't want to see him die. Because there's not normal after that. (Thanks Michelle).

Sam: Dean, it's a strong vessel. It's held Cas for years, and we know what he's been through. I'm guessing it can hold Lucifer.

Dean: "It"? It's not an "it," Sam. It's Cas.

Sam is strategic, he tries to separate the vessel from the angel. Trying to make his brother to see, the vessel is strong. But Dean is in love with him, so he doesn't see that logic. Cas is not a vessel, is family.

Sam: And Cas wanted to do this.

Dean: Yeah, well, there's times I want to get slapped during sex by a girl wearing a Zorro mask. That don't make it a good idea.

Sam keeps trying to make his brother understand. Sam loves Cas too, but in a different way, they are truly friends, truly brothers. They respect each other, they think alike. Sam understands why Cas took that decision, and he respects it. He respects his friend so much, he wants to fulfill his desire of being useful to the fight. But Dean doesn't see it like this, because Castiel doesn't represents a friend or a brother to him, Castiel represents the love of his life.

Sam: Dean, this is exactly how we screw ourselves. W-We make the... the heart choice instead of the smart choice.

Sam knows Cas is strategic like him, Cas is a smart Commander. He respects him. And he is seeing with his own eyes how Dean is the one thinking with his heart here. He can plenty see why is that.

Dean: Oh, okay. Thank you, Dr. Phil. Cas is family.

Sam: Yes, and his choice deserves to be respected.

Dean: Even if it kills him?

Sam has a point, is like a friend respecting his best friend decision. Even if that will take him to the death. Sam saw Cas for  a brief  moment and talked with him. He knows exactly what Castiel wants. But Dean can't let Cas to go through that, and die. His worst fears is to lose Castiel as Michelle lost her husband.

Dean had to see it with his own eyes

When they summon Casifer, the expression in Dean face is DISGUST, ANGER. Is canon in the fandom too the whole scene in which Castiel appears in front of him. The amazing change of facial expression is priceless, Dean went from disgust, to desperation, heart eyes and pleading. (An Oscar for Mr. Ackles).

He runs towards his angel, calling him, but Cas seemed confused. And in just one seconds, Casifer is back, even so, Dean kept calling him, he kept trying to brake the Jericho's walls.

Gif set credit @some-people-call-it-tragic 👇

Dean: Cas, expel him! You got to kick Lucifer out! Do you hear me?!

Lucifer: Honestly, I think he's happy with the arrangement. I mean, he did invite me in and all, Dean.

Gif set credit @thejabberwock 👇

Dean [yelling, desperate]: Cas!

Lucifer [mockingly]: Cas!

Dean glares at Lucifer, in frustration and anger.

This scene, THIS ONE HERE, showing us again that Lucy knows. He knows about the strong bond between these two love birds. But he's a little done of it. That's why he mocks, annoyed. And Dean's face again, surprise and anger.

But that last quote coming from Lucifer, saying Cas is happy with their arrangement is what breaks Dean's heart again.

That's the thing Sam was saying, not exactly, but the painful words CAS WANTS THIS. CAS WANTS TO STAY IN PURGATORY. CAS WANTS TO BE POSSESSED AND GIVE HIS LIFE FOR THE GREATEST GOOD.  Castiel's hard decision that keeps him away from Dean. Dean can't handle this. Cas doesn't want to be saved. 

Another confirmation of this is when Crowley enters inside the Castiel's vessel. And he finds Cas sitting in the Bunker's kitchen, is his safe place, he doesn't want to be disturbed, he doesn't want to be moved from there.

Castiel: Wait. That was Dean I saw a minute ago, wasn't it?

Crowley: Yes.

Castiel: And he wants me to expel Lucifer?

Crowley: Yes!

Castiel [laughing]: Ha, ha, ha! Well... he may have a more objective view of the situation. Maybe I should.

Dean may have a more objective view of the situation, because he saw he wants him back. But why Cas says 'Maybe I should' ? Is because he is thinking too he wants to be with Dean. He wants to be with him. Because he loves him too. He has to fight against his own love for Dean, and be useful to the fight. War decision against Heart decision.

So when Crowley comes back, his words went straight to Dean's ears …

Crowley: Useless. Lucifer's hold on him is too strong.

So, Dean should give up? He won't. Because when Amara irrumped and kidnaps Casifer, (another Canon fact) our hunter in love, bonded for eternity to his angel, calls his name again… in that amazing scene in which Amara put that face of WHAT??? IS HE CALLING THAT ANGEL IN MY PRESENCE???? I'M HERE!!!! YOU SHOULDN'T BE CALLING ANOTHER NAME THAN MINE! And Casifer showed us a… OH SHOOT… THEY'RE SO STUBBORN, AREN'T THEY? EVEN WITH ANTIE HERE… HE CALLS FOR HIS NAME.

Gif credit @yourfavoritedirector 👇

Dean's longing, calling Castiel's name, even with Amara there, is the perfect proof of the Profound Bond is intact, and that Dean won't never give up on getting Cas back alive.

Gif credit @laoih

Gif credit @subcas

At the end of the episode we had a very sad Dean, learning the lesson, a hard one…

Sam: Listen, um... I know I came down on the side of wanting Cas to deal with Amara, so...

Dean: Well, that's what he wanted, though, right? Besides, didn't we say that we were gonna swear off getting in the way when one person makes a choice the other doesn't agree with?

Sam: Yeah, um... Yeah, we did say that.

Dean: So...

Sam: Okay. So, that's our policy.

Gif credit @some-people-call-it-tragic

Dean: Which sounds damn good. [Sam chuckles.] Well, let's go find that idiot and bring him home.

It was hard for him, but he understood. Cas wants this, but he won't give up on him. Even so, Dean's heart breaks at this, and he will show it from now on, feeling he was rejected by Castiel, one more time, he will begin to use the WE vs the I, and to call him BROTHER, in the last episode from this season.

To Conclude

'Hell's Angel' talks about breaking walls to reach what you really want. Dean wants Cas back and safe, over any other Apocalypse. He understood Cas took his decision, and is the angel's will to be in that situation. But even so, he will try to save him.

The profound bond is so strong, it brights even with Amara attempts to control Dean's will. Because Dean is in love with Cas, period.

Hope you enjoy this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From season 11, here you have the links.

Vol. LXII, LXIII, LXIV, LXV, LXVI, LXVII, LXVIII, LXIX

Buenos Aires, July 14th 2020, 8:27 PM

[verobatto]

My collection of specs for Supernatural season 15! (Hiatus edition)

Okay my dears, this is a kind of mini meta spec for season 15, one of them is Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty and I got that idea from this meta related to 14x17 here.

Okay... Let's start this one here...

First SPEC: Dean will Rescue Castiel from the Empty, to complete full circle.

This idea started, as I said, in episode 14x07, and seeing that till now there's not hint about Dean and Sam knowing Cas made a deal with the Empty, I'm getting this feel that this could be the last plot in the season.

Dean rescuing Castiel is so perfect, because we will be back to this...

Gif credit from my talented friend @magnificent-winged-beast

Castiel, who started the game, rescuing Dean from Hell, marked a new beginning for Dean. Giving him faith and hopes, and introducing him into this exciting spiral, his relationship with Castiel.

And we had a lot of episodes recalling this rescue in season 14, we had even one Castiel that didn't rescue Dean from Hell! And, if it that wasn't enough, we had this too...

Gif credit @shirtlesssammy

Is important, is very important, not just for Dean and Cas, but for us to recall this, why?

Remember episode 12x19? Yes, the mixtape one... But also... This...

Gifset credit @stardustcas

Castiel healing Dean in a very special way... Closing and touching their fingers, lingering touch by the way, but it also... Forming a circle. And the episode was called THE FUTURE. So... Does this means, they have to complete a circle? If Cas rescued Dean from Hell, maybe now is time for Dean to rescue Cas from the Empty.

Season 14 showed us a lot of SLEEPING BEAUTIES, people in coma or sleeping. We related that with the Empty plot.

This season is about missing people, and people surrounding them saying IS NOTHING, HE WILL BE BACK or SHOW UP SOON. Because they're young people, and young people do that.

Well, if this isn't the presumption Sam and others do when Cas is not around... IDK what else to think...

CAS WILL BE BACK, HE WILL BE FINE, HE ALWAYS DISAPPEAR LIKE THIS...

Maybe this will be the assumption Sam and others will do when the Empty takes Cas. And will be Dean asking for him desperately like that mom looking for his son in episode 15x06?

SLEEPING BEAUTY, THE MISSING CAS AND THE MIRACLE

I already established the first two evidences for my spec with the sleeping beauties in season 14 and the missing people in season 15, now we have the miracle.

The miracle has Castiel like the center of it.

In episode 14x12, Donnie was in coma and Castiel was able to wake him up, when the doctor appeared, Dean called that A MIRACLE.

This season in episode 15x06 Castiel and the woman searching for his lost son, ventured into the woods... (Everytime you see a wood, remember is symbolically representing the Empty, as it was in 14x17).

So the entered into the woods to search that missing person, and when they found him, Castiel killed the djin and healed the boy, the mother called that A MIRACLE.

Even after this, Cas says a goodbye words to that woman. This dialogue could be taken as a parallel to what he said to Dean (the break up) or a foreshadow to what he could possibly say to Dean when he comes to rescue him.

But I think the miracle will be, Castiel waking up again in the Empty, thanks to Dean.

And maybe this could be the huge thing that will have to happen mentioned by Misha in one of the cons. To repair their bond, they need to close full circle.

They're going now to Purgatory, because Dean needs to clear his head, as he said in episode 15x07, they will do it now for sure. We will have the prayer, but I think that won't solve things entirely... We will have one talk, maybe in episode 12, as I theorized in this post, maybe that's THE DESTIEL TALK, they had been foreshadowing since season 14, and then THE MOVES (holding hands spec), as I talked in my meta from 14x06 Optimism, here.

So, with all this rambling right here, let's see what happens...

Second SPEC: Who will carry the mark of Chuck to lock him down?

My friend @michyribeiro and I were talking about this, she and her friends were wondering who will carry the mark?

At first I thought should be Jack, because is destinated to be the one who will renew Earth.

We saw him in 14x14 Ouroboros, related to the SNAKE,the snake represents new life, and then I talked about how Jack was linked to Shiva the Hindu God who has a snake on his neck, the destructor and renewer of the world who brings new life.

I wrote about this in this meta here.

So I first thought Jack will be a good candidate, because the mark of God is light, right? Is not dark like Cain's mark, which corrupted Lucifer... And then my brain did this connection here...

Gifset credit @starsmish

So, Lucifer was Chuck's favorite... But it also is Michael...

Gif credit @positivexcellence

So maybe this time they will lock Chuck and Adam!Michael will be carrying with the mark. Chuck is supposedly the light, so it won't be any problems of corruption there...

To Conclude:

We had a lot of clues in season 14 about sleeping beauties, and this season about missing persons. Even Cas defeated a djin in the woods. The djin referencing the Empty.

Based on those evidences and onn episode 14x17 guide, as I presumed, it worked as a guide to the Empty plot, my speculation about Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty to close full circle is a possibility.

The big question about who will carry this time the mark of light, or the mark of Chuck, is on table, I bet for Adam! Michael and for Jack being the one who will renew the world bringing us the bright new future, like Castiel's vision in 12x19.

I hope you enjoy my rant here, see you in the next!

Tagging @metafest @gneisscastiel @emblue-sparks @magnificent-winged-beast @agusvedder @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @anarchiana @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @destielshipper221b @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @feathered-castiel @bre95611 @zoerayne2426 @justmeand-myinsight @that-one-fandom-chick @proccastinate @studio-hatter @pepevons @liwos-rabithole @poorreputation @mrsaquaman187 @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @breathing-oximoron @a-bit-of-influence

If you want to be removed or tagged on this list, just let me know!

Buenos Aires, December 21st 2019 11:38 AM

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.01: Stranger in a Strange Land

The Road So Far: Well, this montage pales in comparison to the one at the beginning of 13.23. Conspicuously absent: Sam being killed by vampires and resurrected by Lucifer. Also, it's set to an AC/DC song, and I dislike AC/DC, so let's just skip this, shall we?

(But Caranfindel! We thought you LOVED all that crappy old 80s music!)

You kids behave or I'll turn this car around.

Anyway. We open with Sam, driving the Impala alone through the night. He feels the same way I do about AC/DC, and turns off the radio (Sidebar: Have I mentioned before that I love when the soundtrack becomes part of the actual scene? Because I do.) Let's just take a good look at Sam here, looking magnificently angry and beardy. Because of course he's been too busy/depressed/other reasons to shave. And honestly, I'm not normally into beards. I love some heavy scruff, but a heavy beard doesn't generally do things for me. But this is just, rawr. I don't want him to keep it. Mama needs to see those dimples. But for right now? Let's enjoy it.

Mmmmm yes.

We cut to a (presumably) Muslim man being awakened by a call to prayers. He puts out his rug, begins to pray, and is suddenly shocked to see The Flying Squirrel sitting in his living room. Still wearing the hat, unfortunately. Michael informs Jamil that he's read about him, and quotes what is presumably the Koran (and Jensen speaking what is presumably Arabic isn't quite as hot as Jared speaking French, but is still very, very enjoyable). I wasn't aware that Gabriel and Michael were mentioned in the Koran. (Is this not actually the Koran? I'm going to feel like an idiot if it's not.)

Yes, you are the better one, but only because of your pretty, pretty vessel.

Michael is there to ask Jamil the question he's been asking a variety of people ("holy men, leaders, killers") for weeks. "What do you want?" (Sidebar: speaking of holy men, I still wonder where Michael and Lucifer found all the ingredients for the spell to open the rift in AU Land. How did Lucifer recognize that the blood came from a Most Holy Man and wasn't just average blood?)

Jamil says he wants peace and love, and Michael snidely points out that if he'd really wanted peace, he wouldn't have left Syria and abandoned his friends to die, and that's cold, man. That's really cold. He also tells him that if he cared about love, he wouldn't have gone into that broom closet with Darlene and his wife wouldn't have left him, and I'm with you on that one, Michael. Avoid going into broom closets with chicks named Darlene. Michael then throws Jamil about the room and tells him he's lost, and not worth saving. And for his part, Michael wants what he's always wanted: a better world. Oooh, like ours, maybe? Duh duh duuuuuhhhh!

New title card! I don't really like it. The blue flames are cool but the wings are too cartoony.

Bunker. The place is bustling with activity. A poor Sam substitute with long hair and a plaid shirt is laying out different types of bullets for Mary. Maggie is tending to someone who was injured by a rawhead. Someone shows up with food. Sam comes downstairs, apparently having just returned from Atlanta, and gets a hug. Aw. I guess the silver lining to Dean being gone is that Sam gets to be Number One Son for once.

His lead in Atlanta didn't pan out, but Mary reminds him that Ketch is working on a lead in London (and just like at the end of s13, there is no evdience at all that Mary remembers or cares what Ketch did to her in s12, so... okay then) and Cas is doing something in Detroit (Sidebar: How does Sam feel about Detroit? Can he hear Castiel's in Detroit without hearing Lucifer tell him I think it's gonna happen in Detroit?) and then she thoughtfully expositions for us that it's been three weeks since Dean... and she trails off without saying whatever she was going to say. I know it's awkward to say since he agreed to be an archangel vessel in an attempt to save your life but you could just say since Dean's been gone.

She assures Sam that "something will break; it has to" (and I'm thinking yes, and it will be Sam) and he says "yeah, you keep saying that." Oh, Sam. You used to be the one assuring Dean that you'd be able to fix/find/kill/save whatever, and now you're on the other side of that conversation.

He yawns, and she tries to get him to get some rest. Poor Sam never had a mother and now he's being mothered within an inch of his life. Then Not!Sam calls him Chief \o/ and gives him some soup and some bad news about vampires on I-90. Sam gives some instructions, because he's Leader Sam now, and then he asks Maggie if she can hack into the traffic cams and she says "Um. No."

I don't know if this is just supposed to be amusing, or if it's a sign that Sam is cracking under the pressure and has forgotten that this is Maggie, not Charlie. Or if it's just a demonstration of how useless Maggie is, although she's performing first aid so it's not like all she can do is sneak out to meet the cute guy at the Gas N Sip.

Sam hands his food off to Mary, because you can't hack and eat at the same time, everyone knows that, and sits down at the laptop, pointedly ignoring some mothering from Mary. "I'm good, I am," he says.

YES YOU ARE, MY PRECIOUS LITTLE LUMBERJACK, YOU ARE SO, SO GOOD.

He asks Mary about Jack, which is our segue to Jack sparring with AU Bobby. Jack's learning how much life sucks with no angelic powers. While Sam has ignored his grooming routine, Jack has changed his hair. It's shorter, without so much swoop in the front. It's okay.

Cut to a barbeque joint in what must be Detroit. We see a pair of shoes and too-long pants walking in, and then a guy wearing a pair of Agent Smith sunglasses says "Castiel, darling" and greets Cas, who is sitting at a conspicuous table right in the middle of the dining room. The fireplace behind him looks very much like the one we saw in President Lucifer's hotel room. Coincidence? (Spoiler alert: No, I don't think it's a coincidence that there’s a Fireplace from Hell in this restaurant.)

Cas is surprised Agent Smith chose this place to meet, and Agent Smith is surprised that Cas wanted to meet at all, considering that he's (dramatically removes the sunglasses) a demon. (gasp!) Cas asks if any demons know where Dean is, and Agent Smith says he's surprised that Cas lost him, considering that they're "joined at the... you know, everything." Oh, wait. Is Andrew Dabb a Destiel shipper? Because it's getting awfully shippy in here. I feel like I should complain about him pandering to the baser desires of a certain contingency of fans, but on the other hand, he's give me Bearded Angsty Sam, so let's just agree not to discuss our various base desires, shall we?

Carrying on. Agent Smith asks the eternal question, not "what do you want" but "what's in it for me," and Cas threatens to kill him if he doesn't spill. Oddly enough, even though Cas could tell if someone was evil or if they were lying in s13, he didn't realize that everyone else in this restaurant is a demon. Your powers are oddly specific, Cas. There's a fight, in which angels and demons use fists, because that's just what you do now, and Cas is predictably beaten to a pulp. (Also of note: one of the beer signs in the restaurant is for Fast Jack's Ale.)

Cut to a church. Sister Jo? We're back to that, then? Okay. Anael walks out, counting a wad of money, and meets Michael in a dark alley. He calls her Jo because... because that's how he was introduced to her? No. Because that's her angel name? No. There is no reason for any angel to call her Jo. What the fuck ever. She recognizes that he's not Dean, and then I don't know if he reveals his wings, or if she just sees him in Angel!Vision (Angel Radio is so old fashioned), but we get a special effect and she realizes who he is.

Do I like this or is it cheesy? 🤔

She even knows he’s not from our world. But I guess the AU angels recognized that Lucifer wasn’t from their world. Just not so quickly.

Oh God.

People keep calling me that.

Hee! (Although I don't think angels would use "God" like that but whatever.) She asks why Dean would have let Michael possess him, and Michael answers "love," and YES. I am here for Michael recognizing that Dean loves Sam (and maybe Jack but we know this was about Sam) and would have only done this to save him. Michael asks her his question, what do you want, and she spouts some designer labels. (Sidebar: What is the deal with her, anyway? Why does she need money?) He doesn't believe she's telling the truth, and I hope he’s right, because Show has given me no reason to think an angel would be interested in material things, even if they're covered with big tacky double-C logos.

Michael says he knows all about her, because "the other angel" knew all about her. Lucifer? Is he talking about Lucifer? (And one of the things Lucifer knew was that her name was not Jo, but whatever!) He knows that what she really wants is love, a home, a family. "It's very, very human of you." Hmmm. Interesting that Anael kind of liked that "almost human" feeling she got when Lucifer was sucking down her grace. Michael knows there are very few angels left, and thought he might be able to help, but if they're all as lost and fallen as she is, maybe they're not worth saving. Careful, Anael. The last person who heard this speech was Jamil, and it did not end well for him.

Bunker. Jack is sitting on his bed when Sam comes in. He's heard from Bobby that Jack had a terrible no good awful day (although I thought Jack was actually okay at the end of his scene with Bobby?), and he's so kind and encouraging about how hard it must be for him to be without his powers. "I have faith in you, Jack," he says. "And I believe in you." Which is basically the same thing but daaaaaawwwww! Mary interrupts to say "Sam, um, he's awake." Sam sighs and looks distressed and I know what you were all thinking. Who is awake and why does this distress Sam so much? He tells Jack "We'll talk later, all right?" but Jack stays in Quiet Angst mode and doesn't respond as Sam sadly creeps out of his room.

In the hall, Sam and Mary are talking about him.

Did he say anything?

I didn't talk to him. I can barely look at him.

Sam is clearly fucked the hell UP over him, and Mary peels off as Sam hesitantly opens the door. The room is dark, and a figure in a white shirt is sitting on the bed. Sam sighs nervously again and turns on the light and walks into the room. The man on the bed is facing away from us, but we can see his bed is in the middle of a devil's trap. Sam comes closer, radiating fear the way he did when he was locked in the jail cell with Jack in 13.01, and the figure turns around.

Hey, Sam.

Hey. Nick.

OH GOD, GUYS, NICK IS ALIVE.

We get a flashback of Lucifer convincing Nick to be his vessel, but we don't get Lucifer promising revenge against the people who murdered his wife and baby. I think anyone who hasn't been watching long would have benefited from knowing why Nick said yes. But maybe we'll get back to that later.

Sam and Nick discuss his nightmares, and I can't help wondering how much he remembers, if he knows what his body did to Sam, if he knows how many of Sam's nightmares feature his face. Sam cleans his angel blade wound, and they speculate on why the archangel blade didn't kill him. I assume they're setting us up to accept that the archangel blade will kill Michael and not Dean. Oh, those crazy archangel blades and their bizarre rules.

(Sidebar: Why is Sam the one taking care of Nick? Because no one else will do it? Because Sam won't make anyone else do it? Discuss.)

(I'm not crying, you're crying.)

Nick is a little whiny and "poor me, I almost ended the world." Okay, that's not fair, I can see why he'd be upset. But do not whine to Sam Winchester about it. Sam is so tentative and kind. When Nick says it must be weird to look at him, Sam surprises me by saying "yeah," instead of brushing off his own trauma. He asks Nick if he remembers anything, and Nick says it's still "bits and pieces" and nothing about Dean. He does remember Michael saying he "wanted to do it right this time." Duh duh duuuuhhhhhh!

We see Sam in the hall, shutting the door with a long shaky sigh and rubbing at his face, and STOP IT I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS I AM ONLY HUMAN.

This is the sound of my heart breaking.

I have so many feelings about this scene. First, so much love for Jared, because he shows Sam's terror of this guy SO WELL. And, like 13.01, that conflict between his fear and his need to be nice to this person, to care for him.

And I have conflicted feelings about Nick being alive and well. First, it's bizarre, because (1) why would the archangel blade not kill the vessel along with the angel, because that was definitely human blood, and (b) why is he sane? Why would Lucifer have taken better care of his vessel than Raphael did? (And does it mean Gabriel's vessel is alive over in AU Land?)

And does it mean Lucifer is coming back? Because I DO NOT WANT. Although I have one tiny speck of hopeful joy, because if this isn't really Nick, if this is, in fact, Lucifer? Or if Lucifer's grace will grow inside him (because we know a bit of grace remains inside the vessel) and he becomes Lucifer? That means Sam could still kill him. (Oh, please, baby Jesus.)

But I also have a lot of anger. Because this should have been a shocking reveal, and it wasn't, because the SHOW ITSELF SPOILED IT. I don't know if this happened to everybody, but in my time zone, we had a commercial for the movie "Halloween" that was apparently a tie-in with the show, and it showed Sam asking Nick if he remembered Michael. AND THEY SHOWED IT BEFORE THE REVEAL. WHAT THE FUCK, SHOW??? I assume it was a mistake, and judging from my Tumblr feed, it didn't happen in every time zone. So to those of you who actually got to be surprised, congratulations. I'm sure it was awesome.

Carrying on.

Sam's phone rings. It's Cas's phone, but it's not Cas talking. It's Agent Smith. The next shot is Sam loading up his weapons bag, confidently agreeing with Mary that yes, it is a trap, but of course he's going anyway. He's bringing Mary and Bobby, which makes sense, and Maggie, which doesn't. I guess all the good hunters are off looking for vampires on I-90. Jack wants to come too, which Bobby finds ridiculous, but Sam explains that Jack needs this. OH SAM.

Back at the restaurant, Agent Smith gets a coffee refill and asks Cas if he's sure he doesn't want anything hot and black. Which reminds me... what happened to Michael's previous vessel? Shouldn't he be around somewhere? Agent Smith says he's trying to be a good host, "like mother would have wanted," which makes me think we're going to find out something interesting about his mother and/or a female boss, perhaps an awesome Queen of Hell. (Spoiler alert: false alarm.)

He expositions that he needs something from Sam, because someone recently asked him what he wanted (Michael! It was Michael!) and he didn't know. So he thought about it, and he realized he wants everything. Hmmm. Would Michael have accepted that as an answer? Apparently so, because Agent Smith still walks the earth.

Impala. Sam's driving, with Mary riding shotgun, and I guess everyone else is in Bobby's truck. Mary tells Sam again that everything is going to be fine, and he shocks me by saying "Stop saying that, please." He's tired of her relentless everything will be okay and says "Dean's gone, and we have no idea where he is, or if he's even still alive, you know? Michael could have burned him out, or worse..."

Mary says she knows that, but she has to think about the good, "because if I don't, I will drown in the bad," which reminds me of Sam once saying there was so much evil that he thought he could drown in it. And I like this scene a lot. I like Sam breaking, telling Mary what he thinks instead of burying his feelings. I like the fact that Sam knows so much better than Mary ever could what can happen when you're in an archangels hands. I like that Sam knows how Raphael's vessel ended up, alive but gone. I like that Sam's voice gets shaky when he talks about what could be happening to Dean. I like this all, very much.

In the other car, Bobby tells Jack that they've got his back. Jack looks sadly out the window. I don't know why. I don't understand what's going on here. Is he concerned that he's so useless, someone has to have his back? Is he having second thoughts about coming along? Is he regretting his haircut? I just don't know.

The gang arrives at the restaurant and Sam gives Mary the demon-killing knife. "They'll search me," he says, because he's so damn smart. Then he tells the others "you know what to do," which suggests some kind of plan, and heads for the restaurant. Once inside, he is patted down as predicted, and Agent Smith fangirls all over him. "You are a damn legend, Sam. An icon! The shoulders, the hair! You are my Beyonce!" Same, Agent Smith. Same.

Sam ignores him to ask Cas if he's okay. Cas says he's more embarrassed than hurt, and, well, he should be, because this is pretty embarrassing. Agent Smith introduces himself as Kipling, Kip for short, but I'm sorry, it's too late for that. He's stuck with Agent Smith as far as I'm concerned. Sam refuses to shake his hand. Don't feel bad, Agent Smith, he refused to shake Mick Davies' hand too.

Smith points out that Sam didn't come alone, as he was supposed to, and his minions drag Jack and Maggie into the room. "Found them outside," a minion says; "they didn't even put up a fight." I assume this is part of the plan, that Jack and Maggie are a diversion or something. Agent Smith says he needs more from Sam now. He wants to make a deal.

Turns out Hell is in "a bit of a pickle." Crowley is dead and Asmodeus is "Kentucky-fried" (see, it's funny, because he looked like Colonel Sanders) and Sam interrupts him to say "I don't care" but Agent Smith thinks he does. Or he will. He wants to be the new King, and he wants Sam to work with him. "You see, I want the Crowley deal. I give you information, a spot of help every now and again, and in turn, you choose to turn a blind eye to the crossroads deals, the demon-on-demon violence, etc." Well, good for you, Crowley. Your mother thought the Winchesters were your weak spot, but Agent Smith here realizes it was a mutually beneficial relationship. Sam tells him they didn't actually have that deal with Crowley, and also that he's no Crowley, and aw. I miss the little limey bastard.

Agent Smith doesn't appreciate this, and growls that in his day he rode with Genghis Khan. He pokes Sam's chest and says "If I had my way I would eat your heart," and I feel you, Agent Smith. If I had my way, I'd also be removing that unfortunate orange jacket and that shirt and nibbling at whatever I found underneath. It's a sad day for both of us.

Agent Smith tells Sam that he's not afraid of him, but his minions are, and he should take the deal before he "stops trying to be Crowley," which I guess means stops not killing Sam's friends. So, is Agent Smith going to be the new Big Bad? The new King of Hell? I mean, he's not the most boring demon we've ever seen, but he's not really grabbing me, either. On the other hand, a King who's more of a Sam fan than a Dean fan could be fun. (Though, let us never forget that no matter how much Crowley craved a bromance with Dean, he was still Not Moose in Crowley's phone.)

Sam acts like he's considering the offer and then calmly says "no," and then Mary and Bobby burst in and there's a weirdly long, weirdly slow-motion fight. Really, it goes on way too long. There's no reason for an extended slow-motion fight when there's no suspense about who's going to come out of it alive. The only person who might conceivably die here is Maggie, and even she survives. Jack defends a fallen Bobby, Mary tells Maggie how to use a knife (seriously?), Sam gets some nice hair-in-the-face action, but really, we could have skipped 90% of this melee. And I'm still confused about why sometimes demons can pin people against walls, and sometimes they can't. Or just choose not to.

Eventually Sam kills Agent Smith and then shouts enough! and oh, you know I like that, don't you. Everyone stops fighting, because Sam Fucking Winchester said so. "There will be no new King of Hell," he announces. "Not today, not ever. Anybody wants the job, he can come through me. Understood? So, what's it gonna be?" Apparently it is understood, because the demons immediately smoke out. The humans (and Cas) look at Sam, shocked, and he pants (hubba hubba) and says "that's what I thought."

Well. What do we think about this? I mean, on the one hand, it's awesome. It's Sam Fucking Winchester taking charge. On the other hand, the only possible way it makes sense is if the demons have a reason to fear him. And that would have to be because they see him as Boy!King Sam, not as Sam Winchester the hunter, right? There's no reason for them to fear him that much as a human hunter. But there's no way he's getting his powers back, so why is Show teasing us like this?

Carrying on. Sam is back in the bunker, wearing a dark shirt with rolled up sleeves showing his big veiny arms (YAAASSSSS), holding a beer bottle against his head. He's on the phone, telling someone to keep looking. Cas comes in and Sam tells him the call was from Ketch, who's in London looking for the pulse generator they used to remove Lucifer from President Rooney. Hmmm, I'd forgotten about that thing. So, is Ketch searching in the BMoL headquarters? Is he welcome there? Or are they dead/disbanded because of what happened over here? So many questions. No answers.

Mmmmmm... ❤️

Cas asks if he's okay, and since he's on an honesty streak, Sam admits he's been better. But also that he's been worse. Oh, Sam. Cas apologizes for going to the demons, and Sam says he'd have done it himself if he'd thought of it. "If it meant finding Dean, I'd work with... I'd do anything."

Have you considered watching The Weather Channel? They’ve been tracking Michael for days.

In the kitchen, Mary and Bobby drink beer and make cute googly eyes at each other. He calls her "Sunshine." They're precious.

In his room, Jack stares angrily in the mirror and tells Cas he's fine, which is obviously a lie.

All I did was get punched in the face.

To be fair, we all got punched in the face.

Hee! But Jack misses his powers, and the ability to actually do something. Cas tells him his grace should regenerate with time, which answers THAT big question. Jack complains about being useless without his grace, and this is a good opportunity for Cas to point out that no one else in the bunker has magic nephilim powers and yet they're not useless, even Maggie, so why does he think he can't do anything? But he doesn't. He just tells him he has a family, which isn't really what Jack's complaint is right now. Jack still looks unhappy, so I guess this is setting us up for some future conflict. Yay.

Sam goes into his room, empties his pockets (he still has the money clip from Tall Tales!!!), and gets a phone call from an unknown number. It's Jo. "We have a problem,” she says. I don’t know about you, but I think she’s working for Michael!

And finally, in a dank damp basement somewhere, Michael has finally found someone who answered his question correctly and knows exactly what they want. "You don't pretend to want to help people, or save the world. Your want is pure, and simple, and clean. And that's why you are worth saving. That's why we are going to work so well together. Because you? You just want to eat." Oh, because you're a vampire. Well. That's not good.

So! I know the first ep of the season needs to set up the story arcs, so it's not necessarily going to be great. It has a lot of work to do. And I think this one did okay with that. We've got some interesting irons in the fire - Angry Chief Sam and his Beard of Despair, who has (probably temporarily) stopped telling people what they want to hear, and is telling his truth instead. The Nick situation. Whatever conflict is going to brew with Jack while his grace regenerates. Michael's hunt for the perfect thoughtless killing machine. Sam as default King of Hell. There are things brewing that I don't like. Jack turning his self-loathing against Sam or Cas. The potential return of Lucifer. There are things that make no sense. An angel who wants designer bags. Michael's hat. Hopefully they will all go away. And there were things I adored, which is basically ALL THINGS SAM. Chief Sam, patient-but-angry Sam, lord-of-all-demons Sam, terrified-but-caring Sam, hair-in-his-face Sam, BEARDY SAM, ALL THE SAM, ALL THE TIME.

But I miss Dean. What do you think about Jensen as Michael? I think he's doing a pretty good job. I don't think he plays Not!Dean as well as Jared plays Not!Sam, but I do think he's doing well. It makes me wish we'd had more of Demon!Dean.

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!