#dean abused sam

[deanwastherealmonster]

I headcanon that Jack gave Sam hero's luck but not Dean because he wanted Sam to be free of Dean's bullshit.

[sounknownvoid]

💯 💯...yes! ... society if more people realised how toxic n abusive dean is

Dean is an abuser.

(this is a repost)

So you know how a lot of people just ignore or brush past Dean's abusive actions? I believe a good portion of people who do that are just taking what they are seeing at face value. The only context they use is what is directly in front of them.

For example, Dean tricks Sam into 'real' bacon despite knowing Sam doesn't want to eat that type of bacon.

That you can see as a sibling prank, is it messed up? Yes, but you can forgive it very quickly at face value. Siblings get under each other's skin all the time, that's their dynamic, Dean's just pranking his little brother. Right?

However, when you add in more context, Dean often judges Sam on what he eats. He often will reduce it down to rabbit food and acts very annoyed having to see it even if it doesn't affect him. It's seen as a big gesture when Dean gets Sam food he genuinely likes. Not a big deal on its own, right? Just another Dean quirk, he doesn't like healthy food.

Well, going back to that particular scene, it's established, Dean is pretty in charge of the food, it's why Sam doesn't trust the bacon at first and was proved right. In different episodes and scenes, it's implied Dean is the one who basically runs the kitchen. So he runs the kitchen and the groceries. Interesting.

Again, at face value that doesn't seem like a big deal. However, this is not the only thing Dean gets a big say on in Sam's life.

What is Sam in control of then? Not only for himself but the two of them?

Sam isn't in charge of driving, that's Dean's thing. Did Sam ever drive? Yes, but there were always specific circumstances that led to it. Especially if Sam was driving Baby.

"But Dean's the car guy, so that makes sense."  Okay, well, let's look at some more things Dean gets a say in.

Sam going out and who he contacts. Dean always knows, and if he doesn't, Sam is lectured about keeping secrets. "It's because of Ruby!" Is it? This didn't just occur after that, and it certainly didn't stop long after Ruby was gone.

Dean didn't make a big deal out of it before Ruby, it doesn't mean it wasn't a big deal though. Sam always shared that information beforehand, it was expected. And even years after Ruby was long gone, Sam's whereabouts had to be known at all times.

But let's say that's just Dean feeling betrayed and overprotective.

Well, what about Sam's autonomy and Dean getting the final say in it?

How many times did Dean bring Sam back to life without Sam's consent? Not to mention, he tricked Sam into permitting an angel to use his body as a vessel even when Sam was ready to die, it was Dean who was clinging onto him. Dean knew Sam would rather die than let an angel use him as a vessel. Yet, he still did it, and to fix his mistake, he had to let a demon into Sam's body. 

When Sam asked to die, it was decided to keep him alive because Dean wasn't ready to let go. When Dean asked to die, Sam respected his wishes. More than once. And Dean didn't forgive him for that. (When Sam didn't search for Dean when they had both agreed to quit messing with the balance of life and death. To quit going searching for each other when they've passed.)

Or what about forcefully making Sam detox all at once, and pushing on even though it was a very real possibility of Sam dying. Because Dean would rather his brother be pure and dead rather than tainted and alive.

Now, what does this have to do with my first example, of Dean tricking Sam into eating bacon?

It doesn't seem like a big deal until you realize just how much control Dean has over Sam. From Sam's literal life to his food choices and many things in between. Dean gets a say in it, and more often than less, Dean's say is the final say.

But a lot of these examples are excused because they focus on the context surrounding that season, that episode, that scene. However, all of Dean's actions add up and the more context you add to his behavior the more you start to notice this pattern.

Context matters and so does depth.

[anassemblageofpassions]

The thing abt john winchester is that he is too complex for the majority of the spn fandom and for a good portion of the writers on the show too.

Because at his core john is about love over everything else. When he looks up at his sons (yes, up, the fact that they’re both taller than him>>>>>), there is love seeping achingly from every single pore of his being even as he abuses them, as he destroys their souls beyond belief. He does it all entirely out of love. And he is so, so wrong for it. A part of him knows it. But he wants to keep dean alive, and he wants to keep Sam pure. And he loves them so much. And he damages them so horribly. John Winchester is the foundation upon which they are both built, they only become more of what he made them as the series goes on. Sam stops fighting it, Dean continues to mold into his image no matter how hard he tries to fight it.

Hell puts them both on steroids, but their individual trauma responses that influence this are the foundations that John built into them. No wonder azazel wanted sam to win so badly. John Winchester crafted his sons into alastair and Lucifer’s ideal victims, respectively, and dean was a better (worse) john than John ever was. John held out in hell. Dean acquiesced to his abuser despite all of his efforts to fight him, and he’s never been the same since.

Sam fought like hell, and he fought destiny, but at his core, he did what John always wanted him to by doing what dean wanted him to do, and then he stops fighting at all, loses the fire he showed john in adolescence that john immediately notices when he returns in s14.

And the sad thing is. They filled their roles so well that John is saddened by what they’ve become. He didn’t want dean to break. He didn’t want Sam to be dimmed. He’s sad to see what Sam is like in s14. In the process of recovering his wife, he ensured he would mold his sons into what he wanted them to be, and when he got what he wanted, he was devastated.

John Winchester is so driven by love and grief and he’s so filled to the brim with both that it’s painful to watch him on screen because he destroyed his family because of it. And he wanted this all along but he didn’t realize what he’d have to give up to get it.

[shanastoryteller]

Shana, your tags on this post ...I need to know more! What exactly was the plan for Supernatural season 3 if it hasn't been for the writer's strike??? And how haven't I heard about this already?? I need the deets!

i'm so glad you asked :)

the original plan for season 3 was for sam to descend into using his demon powers to get dean out of the deal, and for dean to never go to hell. then the writers strike happened, the season got cut from 22 eps to 16, with only 4 after the strike, and that wasn't enough time to establish sam's spiral and powers, so changed the ending. it's on the wiki and there are some articles around about it

this was, in my opinion, the worst fucking decision they could make

it ruined the characters in a lot of ways and really unbalanced everything in a way the show never recovered from

the thing is that this arc is so well set up!

literally at the end of season 2 we get

"You're my big brother, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care, I'm going to get you out of this. I'm going to save your ass for a change."

sam has evaded azazel's every attempt to corrupt him. his shitty home life, all the demons he's exposed sam to, killing jessica, taking away his father, putting him in a literal life or death hunger games scenario. each time sam refuses to play ball

(sam's incorruptibility is what makes him qualified to be king of hell, but that's a different post)

he's the moral compass between him and dean. always has been. there is nothing in sam's messed up, twisted life that has pushed him pass mercy

but dean could do it. there's nothing sam wouldn't do for his big brother

john told dean that he had to either save sam or kill him. except he's never needed to save sam, because it's literally always sam making the measured, compassionate, merciful call. he's the one holding dean back, not the other way around

and sam straining towards darkness for the first time, for dean, would kill him. we'll come back to this

mystery spot, as an episode, is actually pointless if the plan was for dean to go to hell. because sam's sneak peek into what his life is like after dean doesn't do anything. i love this ep, but it's narratively pointless now

however

with the og plan, mystery spot is the turning point. it not only tells sam how miserable he'll be after dean is gone, but it also establishes what he's willing to do to get him back - pretty much anything. it's not theoretical pain, it's not theoretical grief. mystery spot is the thing that pushes sam towards being hard, away from the moral sweetness he's embodied for the past two and half seasons.

the next ep, jus in bello, shows this. sam is considering doing the terrible thing. he's now capable of considering the terrible thing in a way he wasn't before mystery spot. this is when his descent starts, when sam decides he's willing to trade his humanity for his brother's life

and then the writer's strike happened

right when it's getting good, right when sam's arc is ramping up, we lose it. and instead of picking it back up, pushing dean's deal to next season and giving it the weight it deserves, they say fuck it, and send dean to hell

but this fucks it all up. we have sam's "descent" with ruby and demon blood. except not really because he's not even hurting anyone. and dean's back, but not because of sam. sam didn't save him

this fucks it all up

because deans anger and fear and desire to save sam should have been tempered with the knowledge that he did that to save dean's life. that once more someone dean loves has made a terrible sacrifice for him, which he can't stand, which he hates. he has the self esteem of a gnat and the best people he knows keep destroying themselves for his benefit

i think the og build up was sam strengthening his powers to kill lilith, doing it, and then releasing lucifer at the end of s3. sam unwittingly starting the apocolypse to save his brother (does he regret it, dean wonders. it would be easier if he did)

and now everything is shit and dean's drowning but here and his brother has turned himself into something that's not unlike the kid dean loves so much it almost killed him, but not exactly the same. and now he understands john, because this is the sam that dean has to either save or kill, except he could never kill him. he loves him (and how can he kill sam for doing this when it's dean's fault, when dean made the deal that doomed his brother when all he wanted was to save him)

this is the flip that the show has been building towards. dean having to be the moral center for his brother for once. dean being the one saved. dean finally having to face his father's words and deciding once and for all if he's john's son or sam's brother

but instead dean goes to hell. and he's no one moral's center. because he broke in hell, he tortured people and he enjoyed it. they ruined dean with this. because instead of fighting and growing from his violence, they push him into it, and then they call him a righteous man. dean was the one harming people, he's the one that descended into darkness, not sam. sam and his demon blood had still only been trying to good, and in the end did do good, far more than anything dean did in hell, or has done since. his moral outrage, his anger, his disgust towards sam isn't only wildly out of character, it's hypocritical as hell. sam remains the moral, compassionate one, even through this. it never slides to dean. neither of them are really forced to grow or change, only to become twisted into each other in ways that hurt them both

this should have been the story of what sam would do to save his brother (anything) and what dean would do to save his brother (anything)

they should have saved each other

[ardentpoop]

freak.

[flowersintheimpala69]

Idk how sam keeps it together cuz personally id kms if my brotherhusband was always telling me im too violent too gentle too cold too sensitive too too much of a pansy a freak an abomination and that he loves me so much and all he wants is for me to be happy yet he hits me more often than not but it’s my fault because i fucked up and I let myself get manipulated again and it’s my fault for getting violated and that he can barely look at me I disgust him sm but if I die he’ll kill himself to be with me like how does sam handle all that

[latenightwincest]

The face Sam makes when Dean is using him and he relucantly gives in and buries his face into his pillow like the pillow princess she is

[opheliasam]

god he (dean) used to be so different my chest hurts

[ladylightning]

the way the absence of john winchester haunt sam and dean in ways that are more real than any ghost they have ever faced. the way john echoes so loudly in the narrative even in episodes he’s not mentioned, in seasons where he never appears. the way john possesses dean when he’s angry and sam when he’s grieving. the way john is the one true god of the narrative, the absent father who does not answer prayers or phone calls. the righteous man who does not break in hell but breaks down and hands his child a gun. john and the memory of his holy mary. john the prophet and his sacred text. john and his prodigal son that he knows has to die. 

[panicroomsammy]

Supernatural 6.7, 4.21, 5.14, 6.6, 6.11 & Succession 1.8

[homehauntsyou]

Day Six (May 1st): Autonomy / Abuse / Trauma "Cherry Wine" by Hozier // 04x04 / 02x03 / 01x01 / 09x01 / 06x06 / 04x01 / 11x17 / 08x23 / 10x23

[stay-pos-cos]

I think that the Supernatural fandom doesn't give Dean Winchester enough credit or hold John Winchester accountable nearly enough. I would argue that John's abuse (mental, emotional and physical) and its constant effect in both boys lives is constantly downplayed by a majority of the fanbase.

The parentification of an elder sibling has been proven to cause lasting issues and we see this throughout the show; when Dean is overly protective of Sam, treats Sam's life as more valuable than his own, can't picture a life where he's not needed, and his dismissal of Sam as a valuable contributor in an equal partnership. Dean is often criticized both in canon and by fans for being overbearing and codependent on Sam. This is a direct result of John Winchester's inability to parent.

Dean's emotional repression is shown to be caused by his father's militant behaviors and approach to parenting. Dean doesn't see his feelings as valid or important and thus turns to repression or unhealthy coping mechanisms as illustrated throughout the show. His alcoholism, violent outbursts, and unhealthy relationship with sex are all coping mechanisms he uses not to feel.

Through flashbacks (and some dialog) the viewer is show that Sam is more resentful towards John than Dean, and that he even holds resentment towards Dean for being the "perfect little soldier".

That's part of the reason Castiel is such a great foil for Dean, both are loyal to absent fathers' but while Dean was born with free will he follows his father's orders unwaveringly until sometime after his death, Cass a being created without free will breaks free of the command of his father and from his father's mission, becoming for all intents and purposes a Prodigal son like Sam.

Dean's adherence to his father's word is, much like Sam's rebellion a response to continued and repeated abuse, neither brother is perfect. And their father was the furthest thing from it.

[wormieapple]

please understand that i will never and can never condone John Winchester’s actions but some of y’all really don’t understand what “he did the best he could” means.

he neglected and at the very least emotionally abused his kids, and there’s a pretty good argument that he might’ve physically abused them as well. he isolated them, prevented them from forming any lasting relationships outside of immediate family, left them alone for days if not weeks on end with firearms and very little food. And that’s not even the half of it. and everything he did was a manifestation of grief and drive to protect his family. which does not in the slightest justify how he treated sam and dean, but it does lay out his morals and motives pretty clearly.

He loves his kids, he really does. and while struggling to deal with his own trauma he was doing everything he could in his mind to keep them safe. but that doesn’t make his best enough, not by a long shot. that doesn’t even make his best efforts good efforts. at the end of the day he abused his kids and royally fucked up their ability to cope with their own grief and trauma in ways that i cannot touch with a 10ft pole rn or i’ll be writing 57 essays right here and now.

and again i hate john just as much as the next person but he did not set out to abuse his kids. he didn’t have nefarious intentions when it came to how he raised his kids. he was a good person who turned into an abusive asshole due to grief, paranoia, and alcoholism. and it makes perfect sense that sam and dean still love him even if they recognize the damage he did to them. because they also know how hard their dad tried, and they’ve said as much several times. and i get it cause that’s how i grew up. my dad did everything he could despite his grief, despite his depression, despite working 14 hour days in poverty and homelessness, and he still neglected and emotionally abused me. not because he was a bad person, but because he had no tools to deal with everything he was going through. and his best wasn’t enough, his best failed me. and i still love my dad cause not every memory was bad, and he does truly love me and my siblings. And i’m lucky in a way that sam and dean never were because my dad recognized where he failed us, owned up to what he did and tries everyday to repair the damage he did.

I have closure, and that’s something sam and dean could never really have. but they do have the clusterfuck of emotions that is he tried his best and it wasn’t enough.

[aliusfrater]

im normal

[flowersintheimpala69]

I love Dean and sam’s relationship because Dean will do something astronomically horrible to Sam and then when Sam finds out deans dosent apologize to sam and instead goes into an emo self hating spiel like “I’m the worst 😞😞😞 I’m horrible 😞😞😞 I hate myself. We got a break up😞😞” and what he wants Sam to say is “nooo babygirl ur ass so fat don’t kys no ur the best big brother” but what sam will actually say is “yea actually what u did is pretty horrible wtf” then Dean will get angry and be like “u don’t get it Sammy I HAD to kill ur friend and allow an angel to possess you and put rat poison in ur smoothies I HAD to because it was to help u!! I’m helping u can’t u see I’m helping u ur so ungrateful!!” And so sam is iced out and disregarded for like two episodes until he eventually is like “ur right Dean u did what u had to do I’m the bad guy I’m sorry” and then Dean takes sam back cuz he can’t live without his brother-husband-girlfriend but he’ll still bring the thing up years later and use it against sam and somehow frame it to make sam look bad. Nobody is doing it like them.

[punkeropercyjackson]

'Incest is inherently complex and mature storytelling' always sends me and so does the historical significance of it as 'proof' it is.Ancient Greece is thee pedestary era because misogyny was so strong men would rather be incestous pedophiles than date women,incest as gay culture is almost ENTIERLY a white westerner thing and is frowned upon like everywhere due to the studies that proved it's familial abuse with no posibility of consent on both sides and sometimes even neither,'family members being ultra intimate/intense if they're the same gender is coded incest' is literal Gay Panic propaganda,m/f incest is always just dudebro fantasies that violently misogynizes the girl in it,a lot of incest shippers and incestplayers are simply only children and therefore don't really understand sibling dynamics OR middle/high schoolers who were exposed to incest shipping online through their fandoms and think they're smartypants edgelords that understand REAL drama only they're tragically just grooming victims and i could go on!It's not 'discrimination' to be anti-incest even in fiction and the bedroom,it's having a brain and care for other people!There's countless ways to tell a dark and even bleak story without involving positively potrayed incest,ESPECIALLY if it's just for porn and it's no longer just a private bedroom thing when you blog about it in PUBLIC tags that ANYONE can find and the social media account creation age is 13,NOT 18+ so watch yourselves.Curation of your experience applies to you too and ageism applies to the minors you bully for being triggered over incest more than it does you seeing as you actually have power over them,online AND systematically.Kill the cop in your head-They don't think incest is actually bad either and that's why black people invented acab