#dean + season 15 existential crisis

[shallowseeker]

What is real? The soldier's burden

"I don't know...what's real anymore."

Dissociation is a disruption of and/or discontinuity in the normal, subjective integration of one or more aspects of psychological functioning, including memory, identity, consciousness, perception, and motor control. A limited number of studies investigated combat-related dissociation.

32% of the veterans with PTSD also had discrete dissociation

dissociation represents a primary facet of PTSD that has an equal distribution among patients with PTSD and that dissociation is a general marker for the severity of the condition

...prominent depersonalization (i.e., detachment or feelings of unreality regarding one's self)

...and derealization (i.e., detachment or feelings of unreality regarding one's environment)

Our findings showed that the increase in some dissociative symptoms (i.e., depersonalization–derealization) in patients with physical injury was specific to combat-related

x

[shallowrambles]

Metatron told Cas to cut out the heart of an innocent, and he did it. Then I see takes where people position Metatron as trustworthy and Cas as a shrinking violet.

No. Cutting open an innocent was the very first task. Let my man be flawed.

[shallowstories]

Dean + TV + terror

Dean can’t watch TV anymore

He wonders if the characters are real

If they’re stuck in a story of their own

(Only Scooby-Doo, then)

[wellofdean]

I started watching supernatural again from the first season, partly because of your blog, and you are so right about Jensen’s acting. The control that man has as a performer. The way his face will go through an entire journey in a pause in the dialogue. I feel so many things for Dean and a lot is in those shifts in expression.

I'm so glad you're giving it another go, and I'm proud my blog has anything to do with it! And yeah, Supernatural has some real flaws, but it's also just...so good? Two things can be true?

And, Jensen is incredible? It's like you can see the emotions drifting through his pretty face like clouds or something. He manages to make Dean feel like a whole-ass human being, and it's because his performance makes you truly believe that Dean's got a rich, emotional inner life that no one but him is privy to, and he feels and thinks things he never, ever says. He makes you feel curious about what's going on in there! He just so makes so much space for the audience to imagine him and care about him. I feel like the genius of it lies somewhere between the culturally determined tough guy script Dean's running and the way you know that despite all that, he's just full to the brim with soft, private, real ass FEELINGS.

I think people sleep on how legitimately fucking great Jensen is at his job because he's got a mathematically perfect face, that lush mouth and the biggest, wettest, greenest eyes in all the land, but he truly is a remarkably gifted actor, and it's straight up amazing that his performance of Dean never flagged over 15 years, and that despite what seems to have been EPIC tomfoolery on that set, and all the vagaries of production, he just kept getting better and better, and Dean just got deeper and richer and more devastating. The Dean I love most is the one in season 15 who is in the grip of a snowballing existential crisis, and is always visibly choking down and swallowing everything he doesn't say while letting emotion just well up like a flood in his face. He's very, very talented and the ability he has to communicate legible emotion in a way that feels like there is no artifice at all involved is extremely impressive.

There are a lot of VERY good actors who can't do what he does, and like...KUDOS. And, THANK YOU, because I love Dean. Please do more Dean, Jensen. Never stop.

[wigglebox]

this is another reason why i don’t think Jack is Jack TM and that i am still on my Chuck Won bullshit 

This lovely gifset. 

another major part of the Chuck Won theory for me is that Cas specifically was used as a barometer of truth in season 15. 

Because he’s the only one who can really exist outside of the narrative, and virtually untouchable in that case, when he was around it was easier to discern the truth about things and served as what was “Real.” Remember the line from 15x02 in that room where he’s trying to talk Dean out of that existential crisis he’s having, about what’s real, and that they are. 

In one of those ‘real’ instances, is when Cas can tell that Jack is Jack. 

There were three times in season 15 where Cas was needed to confirm if Jack was Jack. 

15x01, he confirmed it was not Jack but in fact a Demon possessing Jack’s body. 

15x11, he confirmed it was Jack after he came back from The Empty. 

15x19.... he wasn’t there to determine that Jack was still Jack after he absorbed Chuck’s powers. 

And I found that significant. 

In my head there is a conspiracy that Chuck and The Empty were working together at this. And part of that is this game of chess that Chuck set up where he wipes out the pieces on the board that pose a threat to him:

Dean, Sam, Billie, Jack, Amara, and Cas. 

Have The Empty make a deal with Billie, a fake deal, to get Jack ready to contain Chuck when in actuality it was to make it so Jack could become a vessel for Chuck bc he’s the only one who could do that. 

Billie and Dean already had an antagonistic relationship so it wouldn’t take much poking and prodding to get Billie to go after Dean in her attempt to stablize things, losing herself a little bit in the process. 

By having her go after Dean, Chuck can trigger Cas’ deal with The Empty. 

And if Cas is off the board, then so is the ONLY litmus test to truly know if Jack is Jack or not. 

And so by also not having Cas in 1x13 of The Winchesters, you can’t tell if that Jack is really OUR Jack or if it’s... Chuck. 

And given the reference to that Kansas song, and these looks, idk — feels like it really isn’t OUR Jack and is in fact a continuation of ‘Is Chuck possessing Jack?’ 

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

How would you rate the supernatural seasons?

for me it would be like this

s1-s5: Excellent, I would say they are the best seasons, with unforgettable characters, the introduction of the angels, everything is incredible, my favorite seasons

s6-8: Bad, I love supernatural but these seasons for me are bad, of course, there are good chapters but the plot of these seasons...

Although I admit that season 8 improved when the tests began and the season finale, angels falling (I will never get over that ending)

s9-11: Good, I wouldn't say they are excellent but they are good, I have some conflicts with the end of season 11 but I think they are good seasons, the brand of Cain and Dean being a demon (these seasons are where you really see what Sam is willing to do for Dean)

s12-15: I have a conflict with these, we have the introduction of my beautiful Jack and it has good chapters but I think my problem with these seasons is that they are too forgettable

Ok so…

Season 3 is my personal favorite (although I can’t deny that there’s something great about the boys when they get older/when the bunker comes into play)

Seasons 1-5 really are amazing, although I personally would extend that to 6, I really enjoyed 6 and the soulless Sam plot line, as well as Crowley, Ben and Lisa, and Cas going through an existential crisis.

Crazy Cas of season 7 is interesting, but the leviathans were a little boring

Season 8 is my absolute least favorite—Sam and Dean drove me nuts for almost the whole season, the trials arc was the only saving grace of the plot, the rest of the season really didn’t have much plot, it was very…nondirectional up until the trials.

Seasons 9-10 are pretty good, the Mark of Cain stuff was interesting and cool to explore.

Season 11 could literally be skipped with almost nothing of importance missed, and that’s just ridiculous (the only good plot of that was Lucifer’s return)

Season 12 was…weird. Like the men of letters plot is kinda strange since it’s people as the bad guys and not something supernatural, however I didn’t hate that. I hate Mary personally, but I don’t really hate that they brought her back if that makes sense?? Like them fleshing her out was an interesting choice, even if they fleshed her out into a terrible person.

Seasons 13-15: I LOVE Jack so much, I hate the multiverse so much (gosh dang it it’s overused now, plus multiverse Bobby and Charlie suck so so so much). I like that they brought Lucifer back (he needed to be killed completely, not just locked away). The Michael story arc was good. And despite popular opinion, I do actually like the last season/the finale.

Although I do agree, some of the later stuff is forgettable, I get half the stuff in those seasons confused.

One main thing I love about supernatural, is that it doesn’t have a steady decline in my opinion. Most shows, when they go bad, they only get worse, and each season is trashier than the last. Supernatural—though it had several pitfalls—maintained itself to be a decent show, and when it had bad seasons (8 and 11) the writers more or less didn’t let that snowball effect them into another bad season; they came up with a new plot line (like seasons 9-10) and got better.

[agathas-megacoven]

Cas does not get the credit he deserves for all the drama he caused on the show. 15 seasons of supernatural and like 6 of those were a direct result of Cas and the drama that ensued from Cas being Cas doing Cas things. The disasters that can be caused by an angelic himbo having an existential crisis and having a crush on Dean Winchester smh.

[shallowseeker]

(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love��� speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[andromediae]

Not sure how many spn storylines have Dean and Cas explicitly or implicitly paralleled with a heterosexual couple's arc, but it's gotta be a lot. Like from Cas' first few episodes you've got Ruby and Sam's relationship contrasted with Cas and Dean. You've got Cas and Dean vs. Anna and Dean in mid season 4. S5 has Dean offering end of the world experiences to both Cas and Jo. The rest of the season is heavy on the Cas and Dean parallel existential crisis train so there's not much in the way of women involved at all. Though you do have Jo sacrificing herself in a grand explosion to save everyone from hellhounds at the mid season climax and much later Cas blowing himself to kingdom come to save Dean and Co. from angels when they're trying to break into the Beautiful Room. In 6 there's a triangular thing where Dean is stuck between like three hard places because he can't be with Lisa because of soulless Sam and he can't focus on Cas' needs because of re-ensouled Sam. Then you've got Dean and Benny and Dean and Cas love triangle contrasted with Sam and Amelia and her dude (I can't go into detail 'cause the filter on those Sam flashback scenes plus the scene "dialogue" makes me want to scratch off my own skin). Obviously Cain and his wife vs Cas. There's Ishim's weakness (Lily Sunder) vs. Cas' weakness (Dean). Eventually you've also got the explicit "what's real-? We are" parallels between Dean/Cas and Sam/Eileen in 15.

I'm sure there's more, somebody should enlighten me. Certainly there are more of those parallels happening with Dean/Other Male Character. Thinking of that Wrestling ep where Dean and Sam split off to faun over their aging teenage wrestling crushes - male and female respectively. Like it HAPPENS A LOT. At some point was it just like a KNOWN thing behind the scenes? Like "Obviously fellow writing team members we have to figure out how to write Dean into another M/M thematic mirror to a M/F relationship." Like somebody knew this. Writers aren't dumb. It's their job to notice these things (even if other people on the team wrote them initially) and decide whether or not to continue adding to the trend and building a thesis. Right? RIGHT? AHHHH.

[shallowseeker]

It’s easier to recognize violence when it’s committed by an outsider

[wigglebox]

I think it really depends on the episode. Because I think some writers especially early on may have leaned into it straight but other writers combated that with their own nuggets of character development which completely undercut idea. 

And we did get a lot of instances where we, the audience, saw he was smart because we see everything. However, even when presented with the fact Dean does read, can do things, understands things etc etc, other characters are usually shocked — whereas we are like WELL DUH!

And I think that just helped build his character over time and helped endeared us to him. 

I don’t think the show constantly was like ‘dean’s stupid’ and then never showed us anything to the contrary and in fact as time went on I think it got a little better. There was a hiccup in 15x11 where it seemed like they were leaning into the ‘Dean’s not as smart or clever as Sam’ but then we get the ‘beach read’//’lady I’m tolstoy’ line. 

i agree it would have been nice for it to be ramped up even more but i feel like you get several several ... more than several... moments where you see he’s smart and clever, if not a little more than Sam. it’s been beaten into us that Sam managed to escape and go to college but that doesn’t equal smarts. Dean can build an EMF from scratch, reads fucking War & Peace, Kurt Vonnegut fan, smart as hell. Knows how to fix up old cars, get things going again, keep things moving, how to hack credit cards, smart as fuck when it comes to things like hustling as well. 

The issue i think also is that as a society we’re taught that the things Dean is smart in — like gambling, fraud etc etc — are bad things but in fact it’s a way of life for him it’s how he has to survive. 

So I think if you looked over the whole show from start to finish you do get the writers and actors and directors maybe hinting that he doesn’t think he’s smart, which in turn has other characters going along with his own self deprecation, but we truly do get moments that suggest that he’s a smart boi. 

tho i agree, with the whole point of it would have been interesting for a point of conflict here and there but it’s hard to have it truly be a point of conflict when it’s such a minute character nugget really only meant for little quips and stuff. 

I know the jokes about dean being a dumbass are mostly played completely straight in the show, like hahaha isn’t it soooo funny that this poor dude from Kansas graduated high school late because he’s stupid. but I REALLY wish it had been a source of conflict more. because I think Dean leans into it as much as he resents it and believes it about himself. If he acts like a dumbass then nobody will expect anything of him, and then when he does manage to let someone down it just confirms his worst fears that he is, in fact, an idiot. his brother is this really smart dude who got into one of the top colleges in the country and wanted to become a lawyer, his father is this great hunter who always knows what to do, and Dean’s just, well, Dean.

but he isn’t actually stupid!!! that’s just another layer of performance!!!! Dean is resourceful and quick on his feet and has a lot of experiential knowledge that goes unacknowledged by virtually everyone except for Sam and Cas. and I think he desperately wants their intellectual approval because if smart people thinks he’s smart, then maybe he’s actually smart! I think we should have gotten more of that!!!!!

[shallowrambles]

Psychic!Dean is just fun, and I’m (mostly) not allergic to fun.

Really, Dean has emotional intelligence and keen intuition. He’s street-smart, too, always looking for motive. This is why he stopped to listen to Naomi in season 8. He had sort-of determined her motive re:protecting the Heaven souls. On the other hand, Metatron’s professed motives were raising his hackles. It wasn’t that he thought Naomi was trustworthy or suddenly a good person. It’s the determining mechanics of the thing.

I love that in season 15, Dean gets so lost that he cannot determine his wayfinding. Its worse when Cas is gone; he’s just floundering. It’s like his faith in his intuition evaporates after his existential crisis.

It calls to mind the plight of soldier!Cas, “I’m not sure whether you passed or failed here.”

[katsidhe]

"whereas s14 and s15 Sam are so recognizably distinct from earlier eras" -- how so? sam is so subtle, especially in later seasons, that it's hard for me to pick up or even notice on these differences. im curious about your thoughts on it.

s1-2, s3, s4, s5-s6 (souled), s6 soulless, s7, s8, s9-10, s11-13, and s14-15 are the really distinct Sam Eras in my head. 

Focusing on later seasons: basically, s11-s13 is Sam in one of his ultra survival modes, and s14-s15 is Sam in a post-traumatic mode. 

S11 kicks off with Cage visions and a fresh apocalypse (which was Sam’s Fault), and that hangs over him and keeps hanging over him. A LOT of Sam’s energy in s11-13 is tied up in coping with Lucifer. And because surviving is his main priority, Sam focuses hard on pushing down and muffling all his s9-10 problems with Dean, and making sure none of them will reemerge--the final stone in that grave is Sam’s re-apology for Purgatory in 11.11, an apology (hilariously!) prompted by Lucifer’s guilt trip. 

Sam spends these seasons clinging to every new ally/tool that will solve the current crisis, regardless of how he feels about them personally. First there’s Lucifer as a solution to Amara, then Cas as Lucifer’s vessel, then Chuck. Then the BMoL to solve hunting and deal with Lucifer, then Billie to break out of jail, then a bunch of hunters (including Roy and Walt) to deal with the BMoL. Then Jack to save Mary from Lucifer, then Gabriel to help with Lucifer, then Lucifer to save Mary and Jack. Every single one of those solutions is thorny at best, horribly traumatizing at worst. Every single one gives Sam a pretty decent excuse to have a small breakdown. Every time, Sam holds his breath and jumps in with both feet. 

His horrible nervous energy in 11.21 is a good touchstone for this era. Sam is on edge but keeps himself incredibly productive and tightly controlled. He doesn’t let himself get angry or frustrated. He doesn’t really cry. He definitely doesn’t talk about his feelings--any time Dean asks is answered with a brisk “nope”. But Sam’s falling deeper into depressive tendencies, which become most visible in season 13. He’s struggling to keep his head above water.

This changes in a big way in season 14. The biggest reason is that Lucifer is dead. The second biggest is that Dean is possessed. Sam shifts from survival to cleanup: he’s done. It’s the epilogue. 

He isn’t trying to save the world and eliminate Lucifer anymore. Michael’s crazy monsters plan aside, there’s no existential threat. With some of that awful pressure let off, Sam spends quite a lot of season 14 very close to tears. Sam is free to Feel His Feelings, and he’s not particularly enjoying the experience.  

He’s trying to help a bunker full of traumatized people recover, get organized and situated in an unfamiliar world. He’s trying to help first Nick and then Dean recover from the agonizingly familiar ordeal of archangelic possession. He’s trying to keep Jack alive and sane in the face of soullessness. All of it is familiar, but it’s happening to other people. 

He screams ENOUGH!! at the would-be new king of Hell. He yells at and cries at and punches Dean for proposing his ocean-box-suicide plan. When God tells him he wants them to keep suffering for him, Sam shoots him in the fucking shoulder.  

[discotreque]

LwD 2.05: An Embarrassment of Dooplers

So I was a little nervous about this one! I hadn’t heard any spoiler-spoilers, but screeners have been out for weeks now, and I’d heard a bunch of individual, vague, non-spoilery hints about (1) big character moments, on the scale of a mid-season finale even though the show’s not taking a mid-season break; and (2) an ending that would make me cry.

I guess I imagined something relatively serious and dramatic, like “No Small Parts”? This show makes me cackle with laughter and giggle with nerdy glee and “d’awww!” at heartwarming friendships every week, but it’s only ever made me cry once—and then I was impressed that they were going to get there from the wacky hijinks we saw in the brief teaser.

The lack of a cold open made me apprehensive too—in my experience, that’s typically a sign that there’s so much plot in the rest of the episode that they need that extra scene—but after ~21.5 minutes of aforementioned hijinks, I was having so much fun that I’d completely forgotten about the alleged tear-jerker at the end…

…and they were not the tears I was expecting.

I didn’t think I’d be smiling and crying!!!! That was wholesome as SHIT!!!!!

I almost can’t believe they earned that—but they totally did.

After a Mariner–Tendi episode and a Boimler–Rutherford episode, we’re back to the “usual” Season 1 pairings… except the relationships between these characters have changed since Season 1. Mariner still feels thwacked in the abandonment issues by Boimler bailing for the Titan, and Rutherford’s having a tiny little existential crisis about losing an entire year of his life.

Both of which are extremely understandable and very heavy situations—and both of those situations get resolved because everyone in them is vulnerable with each other and honest about their feelings—AND that honesty and vulnerability brings both pairs of friends closer together. Are you kidding me?? I would watch SEVENTY seasons of that shit. Put it in my veins.

Onto the notes:

So basically Dooplers are Tribbles, but for cringe comedy instead of slapstick? Ohhhhh boy.

Look at Ransom the diplomat, tossing his own fork on the floor! I like that he’s actually a pretty competent Starfleet officer, despite also being a completely ridiculous person.

Wait a second, is that—OH HOLY SHIT, THE DOOPLERS ARE VOICED BY RICHARD KIND.

It makes sense that B. Boimler would find William annoying—who likes seeing their own flaws reflected back at them? And who could be a better reflection of one’s flaws than one’s literal duplicate?—but most interesting to me is that it implies on some level, Bradward knows the stick up his butt is a flaw. (Does William?)

Why does the Cerritos model have working phasers?!?!

I’m loving hot pink as the currently en-vogue colour for “dangerous sci-fi energy” in animation (cf. almost every previous episode of this show; Into the Spider-Verse; other stuff I can’t remember right now). As a former child of the 80’s, I’m living for it… but as a former teenager of the 90’s, I can’t help but wonder if it’s going to age as poorly as the harsh neon green of The Matrix, every Borg appearance on Voyager, and like 80% of the websites I made in high school…

SKANTS! SKANTS! SKANTS!

That fake-out joke with the fly-by over the Cerritos model was in the season trailer weeks ago, and I was so enthralled by that handsome lady that the sticker coming into frame still got me good 😂😂😂

BECKY Mariner????? omg yes

Some top-quality Boimler screams in this one. Poor Jack Quaid must drink gallons of throat-coat tea when he records.

One of the great things about Star Trek to me is that you never know what you’re going to get from any random episode. A murder mystery? A road trip? A spooky thriller? A cheesy romance? Broad comedy? Body horror? Didactic political screeds shrouded in tissue-thin science-fiction metaphors? Brain and brain, what is brain??? And after this many years of watching, you’d think I’d be hard to surprise. But if I ever told you I thought I’d see a Blues Brothers–style car chase through a frickin’ shopping mall on an episode of Star Trek, I would have been straight-up lying to you. I loved it, it worked for me, my jaw was on the floor and I was clapping with joy—but I’m definitely comfortable calling this one “unexpected.”

It’s CAPTAIN SHELBY!!! And an ancient babydyke crush rose from the depths of my childhood subconscious… (Also I think her Number One is based on the original makeup—eventually deemed too complicated—for Saru? Now that’s a deep cut.)

In 20th-century Trek, you almost never got to see what was going on inside a starship from the outside. Even after they switched from physical models (where it was next to impossible on a single episode’s budget) to CGI (which was still in its infancy, still not exactly cheap, and still broadcast in SD anyway), it was a rare thrill to see any meaningful interior details in an exterior shot. Disco’s modern VFX have given us some tasty, tasty treats in that department, but nothing quite as sublime as all the pink Doopler light glittering through the Cerritos’s windows.

Mariner says she’ll take her contact Malvus down with her, and threatens that they’ll end up “in the same cell.” Malvus is a Mizarian, a species introduced in TNG’s “Allegiance,” in which Captain Picard is held in a mysterious prison with one. I think I see what you did there, McMahan?

Bartender… so hot… lesbian circuits… overloading…

The Tendi and Rutherford C-story was, well, a C-story within a 22-minute episode, so there wasn’t much to it, but the one scene that mattered actually mattered a lot. I’m ambivalent on whether they should end up romantically involved—I’d prefer they don’t, but they’ll be one of the cutest couples in Trek history if they do—and as long as they keep that pure, sweet friendship between them at the heart of whatever else happens, I’m on board.

Carol Freeman was already one of my favourite captains before this season, and she’s been steadily moving up the list. The quiet throughline about her ambition to be on a better ship has been fascinating so far, and it’s starting to actually make me feel a little conflicted: I’m of course rooting for Captain Freeman to recognize her worth, make Starfleet recognize her worth, and become the ass-kicking captain of a hero ship that she’s clearly ready to be—but that almost surely means she’d be kicking ass off-screen, because LwD isn’t about those kind of adventures, and I’d be devastated not to have Dawnn Lewis on the show every week. So I’m kind of on the edge of my seat about this one!

I had so many favourite jokes this week I put them in a separate list:

“Even the replicated water on the Titan tasted better” is a low-key brilliant dunk on people who can’t shut the fuck up about the cooler places they used to live.

“Ooooh, they have a Quark’s now! That used to just be an empty lot where teens would make mistakes!” ← That’s literally me every time I go back to where I grew up. I felt so Seen™ I almost hid under a blanket.

“I would never go down the stairs!” (evil grin) (goes up the stairs)

The “well, shit” expressions from Mariner and Boimler as their crashed car sank right into the water… which started to bubble innocuously… and then the bottles of Data bubble-bath popped up, paying off a joke I thought had already been paid off—that was the one that woke up my poor cat this week. Just exquisite timing.

“YOUR PAGH IS WEAK, AND IT DISGUSTS ME!” “I don’t even know what that is, but I don’t like your tone!”

“Okona’s in there? He’s not even Starfleet! This is outrageous!” made me shout “NO!” at the screen like I was scolding my cat for scratching furniture. (She did not wake up that time.)

Best background joke: the neon sign at the dive bar advertising FREE SHOTS & BEERS. (Get it? Because they’re on a Federation starbase? Where nobody uses money?)

And of course Quark merchandised DS9.

This wasn’t just a standout episode of Lower Decks, this was a brilliant episode of Star Trek, period. The Dooplers, though extremely silly, are nevertheless also a clever sci-fi metaphor for real and relatable personal/interpersonal issues, and an effective plot catalyst for meaningful character growth from all four of our ensigns and the captain.

The jokes were hilarious, the action was kinetic, the A-, B-, and C-plots linked up thematically, the visuals were consistently and thoroughly gorgeous, the character beats—between Mariner and Boimler, Tendi and Rutherford, Mariner and Capt. Freeman—were all genuine, heartfelt and wholesome, and the references to other Trek canon were both deep and deeply affectionate.

Only 15 episodes in, and this series knows exactly what it is, exactly what it wants to do, and knows that it can knock our socks off doing it. Mike McMahan has said in recent interviews that the back half of S2 (and the apparently almost-fully-written S3) is a straight line uphill in quality from here—which surprised me at first, because McMahan seems like a pretty chill dude who doesn’t normally brag about his own work like that.

But then the Prophets sent me a vision of my space dad Ben Sisko, who reminded me of the words of 1930’s baseball player Dizzy Dean:

“If you can do it, it ain’t bragging.”

[Thanks to cygnus-x1.net for the screenshots this week—I was too lazy to do my own.]

[ao3feed-thiam]

Walk On

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3tPYTbM

by Skylar_Zaphina

After mediating the conflict between Amara and Chuck and saving the universe, Dean has an existential crisis and goes on a self-discovery journey. What he didn’t expect was to be drawn to Beacon Hills and meet one Sourwolf.

This story begins right after Teen Wolf’s Finale and during Supernatural’s S11E23. Seasons 12 to 15 of SPN will NEVER happen here!

All chapter titles are named after U2 songs. Listen to them to set the mood as you are reading if you’d like.

This work is complete.

Updates on Friday's

Words: 21888, Chapters: 6/15, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural, Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dean Winchester, Derek Hale, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Malia Tate, Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken, Alec (Teen Wolf), Corey Bryant, Mason Hewitt, Talia Hale, Bobby Singer, Death (Supernatural), Amara (Supernatural), God | Chuck Shurley, Chris Argent, Sheriff Stilinski, Jordan Parrish, Crowley (Supernatural), Rowena MacLeod, Naomi (Supernatural), Eileen Leahy, Kate Argent

Relationships: Derek Hale/Dean Winchester, Scott McCall/Malia Tate, Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt

Additional Tags: Self-Discovery, Existential Crisis, Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bisexual Derek Hale, Existentialism, Romantic Gestures, Soulmates, Crossover, Possessive Derek Hale, Understanding Dean Winchester, Confident Dean Winchester

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3tPYTbM