#dealing with past memories

[sy-tech]

Monsters in the Night Sky

It's a tough night for Alucard. When the war is all over and the ash has settled he has nothing to keep deeply repressed emotions from rudely bubbling back up. Forcing him to confront himself, which he would rather not.

Word Count: 3388

Disclaimers: It's gonna get sad, but nothing that would be particularly triggering. Just emotional. There's also a nice bit of fluff and hinted Trephacard at the end!

The mountain winds howl outside the windows of the castle on a clear night. The stars shone brilliantly down on the Village of Belmont. The chaos of the last siege was nearly completely cleaned. Construction of simple housing now built for its inhabitants. It, by all accounts, was a fairy tale ending after the nightmare of the last year or so. Yet in the castle, high up in the prince’s room, Alucard stood awake. Pacing across the wood floor.

His face was furrowed as he ceaselessly walked from point to point like a mad dog trapped in a cage. Mumbling to himself as he approached his door. He tugged on the brass door knob, to which the door didn’t budge. Only rattled.

“Locked,” he assured himself. He turned around and looked at his bedroom vanity. Seeing his sword was still there on top, in its sheath, just as he had laid it. His pointed ears flicked. Listening for any movement outside. As expected he heard absolutely nothing. For some reason that only deepened this feeling of… dread? In his chest. He hissed under his breath in frustration. His heart, which typically had a pace just behind that of a human’s, still raced. He went to the window and looked down upon the village/ Only a few night watchmen patrolled the streets with bright orange torches in hand. The wind once again blew across the glass producing a hum on the window. He watched the edge of the woods for any strange eyes. Glowing red, yellow, maybe blue… but he saw none. Yet his heart didn’t slow. He groaned. Sitting on the edge of the bed and flopping down. Scowling at the ceiling. Arms over his chest as if he were back in Gresit again. Sleeping safely and tucked away from the world and the hell raining down upon it.

He felt his own heart thumping. Feeling the quick breaths which accompanied it. He closed his eyes and focused for a bit. Manually and painstakingly setting his breath back to a proper even pace. Breathing in, he counted. ‘1… 2… 3… 4…’ He held the breath in his lungs. Counting, yet again. ‘1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…’ Then he let go slowly, doing his final count of 8. He rinsed and repeated this with his eyes closed. Focusing on the numbers and the feeling of the cold air filling his lungs. The sound of his exhale as his breath left his mouth. The feeling of it rushing in his nose. The wind outside matched this methodic pattern. Howling against the windows as he exhaled. Falling silent again as he drew a new breath. His anxiousness faded. Only to be replaced with… something else. He opened his eyes and crawled further onto the bed. Sitting on knees facing the window behind it. Looking at the twinkling night sky above. His eyes fixed on the moon. Half of her was cloaked in shadow, while the other shined brightly.

“First quarter,” he mumbled to himself, smiling for some reason unknown to him. The ghost of a memory began to play in his head. One, of a late night years ago, similar to this.

He laughed as he rushed onto the balcony of the castle. The night creatures below sang their nightly symphony. Here, high above the ground, he was taller than what he would ever grow. His nightgown flowed in the wind as he walked bravely across. A shadow followed the boy closely.

“Adrian, careful!” his father called from behind him. Adrian turned around huffing at the old man.

“I’m not going to fall!” he replied. Dracula shook his head and rolled his eyes. Scooping the boy up. Much to the child’s pouting dismay.

“You might catch a cold,” he reasoned. Hiding his son away from the cold winds in his cape.

His eyes caught the fist flecks of snow shining in the moonlight. Coming from the clear sky. Momentarily breaking him from his memory. He got closer to the window. It looked like the stars were falling. Being swept every which way by the wind before dissolving in the air. Has winter really come already?

Adrian scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I’m not cold!” he pouted.

“Not yet, you should be in bed anyway.” his father replied. He whined.

“Mother said I could stay up a little longer,” he argued. Dracula raised an eyebrow, before sighing. Taking a seat at the balcony’s edge. A silent ‘Fine.’ Adrian smiled then shivered. Holding onto his father’s shirt. Snuggling closer. Earning the quiet laugh of Dracula.

“Still want to be outside?” he asked.

Alucard got up from his bed yet again. Grabbing his black and silver cape. Wrapping it around himself as he unlocked his door. Stepping out into the hallway. Walking across the ruined silken carpet. The red was faded and stained. The gold details tattered from all the battles waged in these halls. He really should get that fixed. It only served to deepen whatever was haunting him at the time.

“Yes.” Adrian mumbled. Dracula smiled, looking up at the night sky. Adrian followed his gaze, and gasped. The sky is a deep blue, highlighted in purples and streaked with white. The moon was nowhere to be found. Cloaked in shadow. Making every star and detail of the milky way just that much brighter. “It’s a new moon tonight. Perfect for stargazing,” his father mused. Adrian nodded.

Alucard floated up the stairs to the balcony. Walking out into the snow and wind. Pulling his cape tighter around himself as he took a seat at the edge. Looking up into the sky. Brows knitted together. The corners of his lips turned downward. A pang in his chest. A fist balled in the middle of the scar.

The young boy’s eyes scanned the sky. His father extended his arm using his claw to trace out the constellations most accurately.

“Up there is Hercules,” he said. Tracing the hero several times.

“That’s Hercules?” Adrian asked. Hardly seeing how the boxy constellation resembled the legendary hero he had read about. Dracula chuckled and nodded.

“Takes a little work to see him, we are far away after all. But that there…” He went on. Describing the mighty warrior in the sky as if he were looking at a painting and not a bunch of dots. The image bloomed in Adrian’s mind. The disappointment fading as he came to see what his father did in the night sky.

“If you follow across from his foot…”

“…you’ll find..” Alucard mumbled. Squinting to see through the falling snow.

“…Draco”

“The dragon?!” Adrian stood on his dad’s lap in excitement. Earning a groaning laugh from his father. “Yes, the dragon, very good.”

He stared at the starry dragon. Letting his mind make the painting he had once seen when he was little. The face of the dragon would read as calm to anyone else, but he knew the look in its slitted silver eyes as curiosity. It looked down upon the world with its long dark blue body stretched into the heavens. Watching. Learning. Its horde was knowledge it gained by observing the world below. Perfectly content in the sky. Harmless, if left unprovoked.

His father smiled as he listened to the boy describe the night dragon in the sky. “You should draw it,” Dracula urged. Adrian whimpered. “I’m not good at that,” he sat back down, frowning. “It wouldn’t look right.” he continued. Dracula patted him on the back. “Maybe not the first time, but the second? Third? Fifth?” he asked. Adrian scoffed playfully, hitting his dad’s chest. “You draw it!” Adrian laughed. Dracula smirked. “I have! I’ve gone up there and captured it in paint for you. You only have to look for it in your room.” Dracula chuckled, trapping his son under his arm to squeeze him gently. “Father!”

He huffed his breath visible in the cold air. His heart weighed by… It wasn’t exactly regret. He knew he did what he had to. He shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what he knew was right. Looking back, even his father had wanted him to put a stop to all of it. He wanted to be dead. In both body and mind. Yet a growl still escaped him.

He wasn’t truly angry. More frustrated he had to be the one to do it. That it had to happen when and how it did. That his father couldn’t look him in the eyes and gather enough of himself to see he had something worth… Tears began to fall.

Had he been brought to this world… Had his mother been given to his father just to ensure that someone would rise to stop him? Was that all his fate was? To look in the eyes he’d run to when he was scared, and watch life leave them?

A noise left his mouth. Something between a roar and anguished cry. It broke the silence that deafened him. The castle used to sing at this hour. Howls, growls, songs, all the noises of the night. This used to be his home. It was supposed to be… “Adrian?”

“Boys!” Lisa called. Dracula turned around quickly, ears perking. “Love!” he called back, getting up carefully. Adrian pouted as he was taken away from the dragon in the sky. Lisa chuckled, reaching up for him. Getting handed the young dhampir. “Your father showing you the stars?” she asked. He nodded, replying wordlessly with a frown. “Why the sad face, sweetheart?” She brushed some of his hair out of his face. “I wanna stay,” he said. Dracula chuckled. Leaning down. “It’s bedtime, for both of you.”

Alucard jumped, wiping his tears quickly as he turned back. Trevor leaning in the archway. Sypha just in front.

“What’s wrong?” she said softly, but still loud enough to be heard over the wind. He got up and went to them. Not wanting Sypha to follow him out into the cold. Knowing she would if he stayed there. Trevor watched with a knowing frown.

“Why are you up?” Alucard countered. Dodging the question for now.

“That it very much is,” Lisa agreed. Adrian whined. She stroked his back as she carried him off. Dracula following behind. He looked up at his dad. A shadow with reflective red eyes. He looked like the monsters a fairy tale would describe. Yet he made a silent plea with a pouting lip and puppy dog eyes. A plea that was met with sympathy.

“I had a nightmare. Accidentally woke her up. We both wanted to take a small walk before getting back in bed. I saw your door was open, and you never leave it open.” Trevor replied. Alucard nodded. Cursing internally at the Belmont’s observation skills and sharp memory.

“Now you answer,” Sypha added. He sighed.

“Same as you, I suppose, being haunted by monsters,” he replied.

He was laid in bed gently by his mother. The room was a bit of a mess. Toys on the ground and half finished pieces of homework on his desk. A book or two laid face down where he had gotten distracted with something else during his reading and ran off.

“Tomorrow you’re cleaning your room after breakfast.” his mother told him. Tucking the blankets up. He sighed. Nodding his head. She kneeled and kissed him on the head.

“Goodnight, my sweet Adrian” she whispered. She seemed to shine in the darkness. His father knelt at the other side of the bed still covered in shadow.

“Goodnight,” he wished. Giving him his kiss too. Lisa got up and waited at the door watching the two. Waiting.

“I don’t want to sleep, I want to see the stars. I want to see Draco.” Adrian whispered to his dad as quietly as a child can manage. Dracula motioned up to the ceiling, where the starry mural was painted. The mountains painted at the rim. Holding up his sky.

“They're right there. I brought them down for you. Draco is even right there, in the middle.” he replied just as quietly. Sure enough when Adrian searched. He found the dragon. Looking down, over him. He smiled. Dracula stood and walked out the door.

Trevor scoffed. Sypha took each of their hands leading them both down the halls and to one of the many kitchen spaces of the castle. Alucard sat down at the table. Sypha went to light the stove. Trevor sat on the table just behind Sypha, and across from Alucard.

“She's going to make us talk about it.” Trevor groaned. His head tilted and slowly turned back to Alucard.

“It makes it better!” she defended.

“Does it now?” Alucard added. Sypha huffed.

“Yes! Believe it or not we are all adults that can use words to solve problems.” She mocked sarcastically as she put an iron kettle on the burner. Trevor sighed, pushing off the table to sit in his chair. Dramatically dragging himself to do so.

“Unfortunately, she’s right.” He reluctantly admitted. Alucard hummed.

“Of course, I am.” Sypha smiled.

“It’s the benefit of community, I suppose.” Alucard shrugged.

“Mine’s nothing special. It was the… burning of the estate… again.” Trevor sighed. Placing his head on his crossed arms. Alucard tilted his head. Hair falling and revealing one of his ears.

“Is it the one where you're still a kid?” Sypha asked.

“Yeah,” Trevor agreed.

“Still a kid?” Alucard repeated under his breath.

“There’s two that reoccur, one which is reliving the moment exactly as it happened. The other is reliving it as an adult. As I am at the time of having the nightmare.” Trevor explained. Alucard nodded along. Sypha began to look in the cupboards.

“Over to the left, plenty of chamomile..” Alucard muttered. She said a quiet thank you.

“I’m not really scared by it anymore. Not once I wake up I just… get worried.” Trevor continued.

“Oh?” Sypha prompted.

“Worried about you. And him.” Trevor jabbed a finger at Alucard. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Me?” he said amused.

“Yes, you! I know you are more than capable of handling yourself. You can practically care for the entire village, crush night creatures’ skulls with your bare hands, but no one looks out for you because of it. Now I found you crying on the edge of a balcony?” Trevor lifted his head with a stern expression on his face. Sypha poured three cups. Alucard tilted his head.

“I’m perfectly fine. Better than I have been since the war, at least.” he replied.

Trevor nodded, “Sure,”

“You don’t have to be ‘Just fine’, Adrian.” Sypha added in as she set a cup of tea at each of their sides. Taking her own seat beside Trevor.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“It's over. We won. It feels like you're still waiting for danger or heartbreak. You don’t really rest. Do you?” She asks. Alucard sat for a moment not replying. Trevor hummed, leaning on his wife.

“I suppose… I got caught up in the past.” Alucard mumbles.

“Seems like something immortals do a lot.” Trevor says. Sypha hits him in the shoulder. Trevor winces.

“I, randomly, got… visited by a memory tonight.” he continued on. His companions listened as he paused. Picking his words carefully.

“It was a good one, but it made me realize just… how much…” he sighed frustrated. Trevor’s brows knitted together.

“The castle isn’t the same to you is it?” he asked.

“No,” he agreed.

“What was it like then?” Sypha asked. Alucard put his head in his hands.

“Lively. There were… all sorts of creatures who roamed the halls. Something was always active. Day or night.” He explained.

“They’d…” he trailed off. Losing his words. Ironic as he probably had the biggest vocabulary of them all. His brain just refused to formulate his thoughts at the same speed at which they came to him.

“It was never quiet was it?” Sypha urged. Alucard nodded.

“Yes, it was never quiet. I used to find it annoying. Part of the reason I started to stay in Gresit more and more often. On top of just being older and wanting my own space to haunt.” the words tumbled out of his mouth now. Thanks to Sypha.

“But, everytime I came back it was always the same. It could be moved to different places but the harpies still sang their same songs. Dragons roared and growled. And….” he stopped. His voice choked.

“Father, was always doing something. Explosions from the lab. The sound of a pen writing on paper. Him holding meetings for the castle inhabitants. Dancing with my mother in the ballroom. Something.” Tears started to fall again.

“And it's so… so… Stupid! To sit here and mourn a monster!” he cried out his hands flying to the air. Sypha and Trevor exchanged a concerned glance.

“Well… not what I was expecting,” Trevor murmured. Sypha leaned over and reached out to Alucard. Just a bit shy of reaching his hand he had set down on the table after his display of frustration.

“Do you remember what I said after it was… done?” She gently spoke. Alucard shook his head.

“If I’m honest the whole next day is a blur. I don’t remember much.” he sighed.

“It’s okay to mourn the man too.” she repeated. “You need to.”

“Why?” he asked. “He tried to kill me, himself, and everyone else.” he sobbed. Trevor got up circling the table and hugged Alucard from behind in a tight comforting squeeze. If anyone else had done such a move on him so suddenly he would’ve scratched them across the face or bit into them with his teeth.

“…He was still your family. Gave you a better childhood than my own did.” His voice was awkward and slow.

“You… said it yourself one night when we were traveling. He lost himself. You couldn’t get him back.” he finished. Adrian sobbed, hiding his face in Trevor’s arms.

“Oh Adrian,” Sypha came around the other side of the table. The small group huddled together. Alucard in the middle clinging to them for dear life. He tried to form words. To explain himself further but, none came. None needed to.

To his surprise it felt better than it ever had when he had mourned alone. Their words weren’t anything he hadn’t told himself before in the past, but for whatever reason they held more weight and impact when they were here. He wasn’t alone. He didn’t do well alone. None of his family did.

Sypha parted only slightly, grabbing one of the cups and taking a sip. A mournful smile on her face and tears streaking down from her own eyes. Trevor reached down to wipe them away. She batted at him. Shaking her head.

“Just- moodswing. It's fine.” she assured him. Alucard chuckles. Revealing half his face. Sypha snorted.

“You look like one of those diagrams on how to wrap up an orphaned bat.” She said, they all laughed.

“I’ve been called worse,” he replied. Trevor snorted.

“Oh really? I’m sure I can repeat things that will make your skin crawl.” He challenged.

“I can imagine.” Alucard looked up at Trevor who beamed down at him. Sypha departed. Dragging her chair closer. Trevor did the same soon after.

“Don’t encourage him, you'll never hear the end of it,” Sypha playfully scolded.

“Oh loosen up!” Trevor grumbled. Sitting back tea in hand. Alucard took a big gulp of his own, a smile on his face that could rival the one he had when Trevor returned to the castle after the siege. He… loved them. How could he not? But he would probably never say so. Not wanting to intrude on the family. This was more than enough for him. Them just being there. At least for now.

“I’ll tell you about a real monster.” Trevor snorted.

“In Lindenfeld…” he began. Sypha shook her head snorting. An arm crossed over her growing belly. Alucard leaned toward him more to listen. Amused.

Deep in the castle’s halls the past echoed as Trevor told the story of their travels without Alucard. Whispers of dragon roars. Skeletons rattling. Hoofs falling. Even the sweet, soft, music of Lisa and her husband dancing in the ballroom. It all began to feel like home to Alucard. To Adrian. It all began to heal once again.

TOLD YA!! It's a good old hurt//comfort fic to get me back into the saddle of actually writing. Now I'm just going to include little tid-bits of info.

I actually drew the page breaker thing you see. It's Castlevania themed. (Duh) The gemstone in the middle is bloodstone. It's an actual stone I have and it fits Alucard so very well. The red dragon in the design is obviously connected to Dracula. Not only is it inspired by the historical insignia from the Order of the Dragon, it also has elements from a folklore dragon in Romania called a Baluar. The lilies are for Lisa, while the roses and silver details are just nods to official Castlevania and Gothic artwork. I'm hoping to everything that is pure that the quality of it isn't tanked by transferring the image on my phone (Where I drew it) to my computer, via discord because all this things USB ports are broken.

I actually bothered to look up what a night sky from the Carpathian mountains might look like using this star map, and this image of the Milky Way taken at the top of the mountains.

I feature my own headcanon of how Alucard switches between his birth name and given name in this fic. I think it silly for him to straight up replace his birth name given to him by his mom to make a distinction between him and Dracula with the backwards spelling of Dracula's name. However, I can sorta understand the sentiment of wanting to use the name humans gave him. So I personally see him having people he is close to call him Adrian while Alucard is reserved for the public. He has mixed feelings about both. It also just served as a good way to separate the parallel story and the live story.

I actually made myself cry while writing this? I usually I'm not like that but something about the snow coming down outside endlessly is making me SUPER sad today I guess.

I am, unfortunately, dyslexic you have NO IDEA how many times I had to scrub "Adrain" out of this story. It. was. horrible. I swear if one of y'all finds a funky word you better let it slide. I'll come for your gloves and chew off the tip of one finger.

When this story was originally written in docs and it was only 7 pages. After being formatted for tumblr, it was 10.

That's about all I got. I hope you enjoyed if you even read this far. Have a good day/night/morning/evening, or whatever you find yourself to be in. Go drink some water. The universe knows I haven't since I started this.

[medi-bee]

isat pokemon au, my liege?

my rambling in tags

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

When Superboy Prime accidentally resurrected Jason Todd, it was described something like the universe righting itself. And, from a purely physical point of view, Jason never died. It brought his body back to it's state before his death, his injuries there but with just enough he could still survive

So, now I'm imagining like. What if there was an au where it was more than Jason just physically "never dying," but it affected memories of those around as well

Joker not remembering killing him, Dick not remembering hearing the news, Batman and Gotham not remembering the 6 months between Jason's death and resurrection, but not thinking much if it

Its all as if Jason never died

[bidisasterevankinard]

Wip Wednesday

do I have the stage where I start new wips but barely write the one's I have because I'm super indecisive and not inspired? yes. let's hope soon I will be fine and work on my wips I want to work on. Anyway meet new wip where bucktommy will have long angst in their relationship because Tommy needs to grief "what ifs" with Sal he never thought about till he sees Sal as Captain of 118 (it's an au where Sal is a captain instead of Gerass)(it's only the start of the fic btw)

thanks to nonny @racerchix21 and this song (the title taken from the song and it's "I tried to go on like I never knew you"

Tommy knows it all should be in the past. In stolen kisses in bars they knew Gerrard and the team would never come too. In usually passionate and wild - almost never tender and sweet - sex. In secrets they shared under sheets, when they both knew that the moment their fabric cover was gone they couldn't talk about those moments of comfort and vulnerability they shared. In breakfast’s Sal made for him and his nonna's lasagna recipe Tommy cooked for the man. In wild dreams Tommy knew could never be a reality. Especially not when Sal changed stations and firstly their meetups were less and less frequent until they stopped after Sal’s wedding. 

And Tommy swears he thought he was over it. Over Sal. Over dreams of the future they could never share. But one look at the man whose appearance barely changed since Tommy last saw him five years ago, staying near 118 trucks the same way he always did, while talking with Chim, and all that got back at him. All the memories of stolen love and painful hope to be happy, proud and loved. Preferably by his “best friend”. By the one of the best men he ever met even if they could be rough with each other or rude or just wrong. Sal always came back with sorry, that Tommy knew was genuine. They were so wrong together, but also so wrongly perfect. So electric. Sal made him feel how almost no one could. Only his first crush Eric from the army, Sal and …

“Hey, handsome, sorry for the delay, Hen needed help to choose a present for Karen,” Evan kissed his cheeks, smiling like thousands of suns.

If Tommy didn’t know and was pretty acquainted with Evan’s quirks and little signs of his fatigue, he would never think the man just ended his 48 hour shift.

“It’s fine, baby.”

Tommy smiles and he hopes his inner turmoil of seeing an old friend is not shown on his face.

“Have you met my new captain yet?”

“No, but I don’t need to.”

Evan adorably tits his head and Tommy wants his heart to be so fast only because of it and the taste of Evan’s lip balm on his cheek, but he swears he can feel the taste of liquor he and Sal were drinking last time they kissed. Right before Sal asked Jennifer out on their first date.

“I worked with Sal. Even more than Chim and Hen,” Tommy says and Evan for a second frowns and then hits his face.

“And they were no less inseparable as you and Eddie,” Chim says, with the loud sound of gum bubbles breaking.

Tommy doesn’t know when he and Sal got closer to them, but he would really happy if they never see that Tommy was there at all. 

“God, of course. In my defense it was so long ago I just haven’t even thought that all three of you were a team.”

“Yeah, I left the station almost a decade ago and it feels like it was in another life, so it’s fine, Buck.” 

Sal smiles at his boyfriend and Tommy wants to make as much room between them as possible. Maybe it will help him to to separate all these feelings of worry and anxiety and love and confusion from the sight of the man he had loved for years, but had never had the opportunity to own his love completely for himself, never feeling that Sal had given him his heart, and a man who he knows is step away from get into his own chest and rip out his heart with all the vessels and give it to Tommy if he just says the word. Sal would never do it even if Tommy would beg

I was tagged by @tizniz @cal-daisies-and-briars @diazheartsbuckley @diazsdimples

Tagging @wikiangela @neverevan @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @evnnkinard @evansboyfriend @evanbegins @evanbi-ckley @repressedqueen @rogerzsteven @racerchix21 @eddiebabygirldiaz @theotherbuckley @pirrusstuff @saybiwithme @steadfastsaturnsrings @devirnis @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @kinard-buckley @loveyouanyway @lonelychicago @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @bi-buckrights @bewilderedbuckley @monsterrae1 and anyone who wants to

[puhpandas]

I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever

[vaguely-concerned]

I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today

[number1villainstan]

FUUUUUCK i just realized that that shot when Mikage's standing up against the wall so that his shoes are part of the lineup of all the dead boys' shoes it's to hint at the fact that Mikage's already dead

[sleepsucks]

[arcsin27]

New theory: the 4th playable character is classic Amy

[superm4ks]

Kit do you not rep Charles anymore 😭

Of course I do he’s prime I just need a break from his team and that fucking dog

[a-gay-bloodmage]

Care to Join Us For Some Tea?

(Emmrich Volkarin & Sascha Ingellvar)

Rook is a very strange creature, always keeping to the shadows of the Lighthouse like a timid ghost. It isn't until Emmrich recalls a strange encounter, three decades past and in the depths of the Grand Necropolis, that he begins to understand what made Sascha Ingellvar into the man he is today.

Read Here!

[shayandwildlifepack]

Been thinking about my life as Zuki a lot lately, so I'm gonna share some more shit about it. This is gonna be a long ass post, lol.

Class 1A was really close in my canon. We were a family [I would use the word pack]. There were 21 of us originally (everyone from the "actual" canon minus Mınət@ who didn't exist as far as I know, lol, and me and one other noncanon 'character' who's name is Hikari Kubo-Mori).

More stuff about how I got along with some other Class 1A students below

A bit after the dorms became a thing, Hitoshi Shinso joined our class. Now, I was always a bit of a 'nerd' when it came to quirks, lol. [Me and Izuku loved to analyze quirks together cause it's very interesting and just awesome to know more about quirks, lol.]

Anyway, I was very into quirk analysis, and Hitoshi's quirk was something that was very interesting and didn't really scare me (guess it comes with having a quirk that scared others and shit). So Hitoshi and I became friends pretty quick after they joined Class 1A cause I was also way more 'into' making friends at that point, lol. [I was also a part of the "I didn't come to make friends" club at first, lol]. Then, a bit later, I got adopted by Aizawa and Present Mic, who had adopted Hitoshi before me, so we became siblings.

I don't know why exactly I brought up Hitoshi first, besides the fact that he's my brother. But I'm gonna be moving on to others now.

Bakugo Katsuki, Izuku Midoriya, and I were all childhood friends. We were actually pretty close before Bakugo got his quirk, I got mine, and Izuku didn't get a quirk. [I'm not really going to go into the whole thing. Just know that for a while, none of us were really friends].

I re-became friends with Izuku at the end of our last middle school year (reminder that in my canon UA was a college type thing). Shit had happened before that made me realize shit. [I was never a bully, but I also never stood up for Izuku like I should've, I had my "reasons," but idc they were kinda dumb and shit but I was a dumb pup at the time].

A bit after the dorms happened, Bakugo found me on the roof of the dorms [don't go there, I liked it cause it was quiet and I could feel the wind on my wings and shit] and asked me a few questions that kinda suprised me at first. The main thing was asking about how it's like with a service dog, how to get over the feeling of not being good enough cause of needing a dog to help, how to deal with others when it comes to service dogs, and stuff like that. Turns out that in a session with Hound Dog, a service dog was suggested to Bakugo because of the training camp and everything. I told him the truth that I still had difficulty with all of the things that having a service dog brings/causes but that I loved Remo so much and was greatful to him. Me and Kats became friends again after that (I called him Kats because when I was younger [and could speak, so I was at least 7], I had trouble with his name so I called him Kats instead).

If you notice, I use both Bakugo and Kats for him, and that's cause I did then as well, lol.

Me and the rest of the Dekusquad that I haven't mentioned already [who I have mentioned already is just Izuku and Hitoshi].

The Dekusquad was mainly known to be: me, Midoriya Izuku/Deku, Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, Todoroki Shouto, Asui Tsuyu/Tsu, Kubo-Mori Hikari, and Shinso Hitoshi [last names then first names]. Though we also had Yaoyorozu Momo, Tokoyami Fumikage, and Aoyama Yuga.

Some people I use last names more and some I use first names more. It's mainly based on how close I was to them specifically and which is easier for me. Like with Momo, it's easier with her first name than her last name, lol. But it's easier for me to use Tokoyami rather than their first name.

Now, with the Bakusquad, lol.

The Bakusquad was: Bakugo Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, Kaminari Denki, Sero Hanta, Ashido Mina, and Jirou Kyouka.

I already talked about Kats. So, with the rest of the Bakusquad, I was pretty close with all of them. I was not as close to Sero, not for any reason, I just didn't hang with him a lot.

Despite being close to Jirou, I tend to use her last name cause it's easier for me, lol. Same with Kiri.

Mina and Denki were the first of the Bakusquad to give me permission to use their first names, which is what I mainly use for them.

It terms of the overall class [not including Izuku and Bakugo ofc], the first one to give permission for their first name/a nickname to be used to me was actually Hikari, the second is ofc Tsu.

There are definitely people I didn't mention here. It's not cause of any reason, I've just already gone on for a while, so this is it for this post for now. I'll probably reblog if I want to add anything later, lol.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/hx)

[dreamtigress]

Vakantie

Chapter 1 of Vakanatie is UP! Go enjoy the start of a late summer vacation for Kaz and Inej as they take a trip to his family's farm in southern Kerch. This is the 15th story in my ongoing series, Kanej Wensen. (and chapter 1 pops me well over 500K words on A03.)

Chapter 1 Summary: Kaz and Inej meet up in Olendaal, and then travel south to Lij and beyond, to start their vacation. Inej finds out some secrets that Kaz had held back, and he has other surprises in store for her as well.

[notasapleasure]

why are the family members who pay for genealogists and spend all their time looking into the family tree the ones who utterly resent their living relatives and don't want to have to play nicely with any of them lmao

[jaggedjot]

When wounded by the past, Lestat will force his way through the initial pain and then refuse to acknowledge the untreated injury, letting it turn septic and rotten, all the while insisting that there is nothing wrong. Armand meanwhile wants to examine every inch of an injury, yet upon determining that it will likely heal in time if never work quite the same, he decides to amputate the limb anyhow.

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh.