#dazai messes with him too much for him to take it completely seriously?

[allisonlol]

Bsd characters with a s/o who does only fans?

a/n: omg hello?? i’m BACK. thank y’all for all the love in my absence btw…we hit 3k awhile ago and i didn’t say anything so TYSM❗️🫶🏻 here are some little hc’s to get me back into the swing of things. i chose a bunch of randoms!

warnings: mild sexual content, implied violence

BSD Characters When You Have an Onlyfans

Dazai:

first and foremost lol

he is DEFINITELY down for this shit

you need him to take photos for you? he already has the camera open on his phone. you wanna record something with him? you blink and his clothes will already be on the FLOOR

i feel like dazai already has a thing for recording sex, so he loves it

i’m sensing a bit of voyuerism with the way he wants other people to watch y’all 🤨

also doxxes and hunts down the people who leak ur shit 🫵🏻❌

Chuuya

hmm mixed opinions on this one

like. chuuya doesn’t wanna control u or tell u what to do, but…

he is too possessive a man to be alright with u having an onlyfans

is embarrassed to admit this tho and will just be like “oh…okay” while avoiding looking you in the eye if u ever mention it

completely avoids getting involved with it…sorry but you’ll have to take ur own pictures.

don’t get me wrong, he likes to see them after and always think u look incredible!! chuuya just hates to imagine all the other men doing the same and worse to them

bro will hustle even more to provide enough money for you to get off the net 💀

Akutagawa

u had to tell him what onlyfans was and even then, he was like “erm…”

i feel like he doesn’t take it too seriously. at first almost considers it like instagram 😭

but once u ask him to help take pics for you, and he sees what ur (not) wearing, he’s suddenly like “what’s all this abt…”

let’s you continue to post but only if he can stand in the background of each picture with a knife 🔪

besides that, he doesn’t like being on camera for videos or anything. doesn’t feel comfy with u filming what he considers ur most intimate moments 👎🏻

Nikolai

don’t have to ask him twice!! this man is even more eager than dazai

becomes his goal to get you to the top 1% (and y’all get pretty damn close)

your photos and videos turn much kinkier once nikolai joins you

gets u new lingerie to wear for each photo set, buys u a bunch of toys, proposes new ideas for videos…might as well give this man 50% of profits

almost starts to take over YOUR onlyfans…makes an appearance in every post 💀

Fyodor

i’m unapologetic about this one

it’s an immediate and definite no

demands u delete the account and “respect yourself more” 🤨🤨

(covering up for his extreme possessiveness…he cannot stand any “vile men” looking at u)

u try to show him the photos on there and he shoves your phone away, talking some shit abt how it’s disgusting??

i feel like fyodor has one of those weird madonna-whore complexes…whole other thing to get into but basically he doesn’t even like to see sexual photos of u most of the time 💀

ur messing with his religious vibe!! don’t tempt him!!

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @irethepotato @serenareiss @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @disa-ster

[underthetree845]

ADA Members as High School Students- Headcannons

All the characters are of high school age, except for Fukuzawa who is a teacher.

I might do the older ADA members as teachers eventually, but I wanted to focus on them all as students for now.

Includes: Dazai Osamu, Kunikida Doppo, Ranpo Edogawa, Atsushi Nakajima, Kyoka Izumi, Miyazawa Kenji, Yosano Akiko, Fukuzawa Yukichi

Cws: mentions of suicide (because it's dazai), mentions of school fights, school life, mentions of bullying, school counseling

Dazai Osamu:

Would mess with the underclassmen by sending them on a wild goose chase for the nonexistent school elevator or something like that. 

Takes advantage of his friends and always gets them to do his assignments for him (that habit obviously carried into adulthood). 

Proudly holds the record for the most unexcused tardies in one school year. 

The teacher keeps trying to call on him to answer a question when he seems like he’s slacking off but Dazai always answers correctly, that devilish little unapologetic grin on his face. 

Literally never studies. 

The teachers can’t tell if he cheats or is just really intelligent, but if he were cheating, they wouldn’t be able to catch him. 

(He doesn’t cheat by the way, but he never explicitly denies it). 

Has been confessed to at least three times, (he scared them away when he asked if they’d be willing to commit double suicide with him). 

The guidance counselors keep trying to schedule a meeting with him to talk about his “suicidal tendencies,” but then he just shows up on mushrooms or something and they’re like “Nevermind.” 

Drama queen. 

Used to be part of this questionable after school club (Mori was the faculty advisor) that got disbanded. 

Pulls pranks on the faculty and other students (mostly Chuuya), particularly ones he has some reason to hold spite against.

Never gets caught. 

Smooth liar. 

Completely up with the gossip too. 

Those career path quizzes never know what to do with him, he gets a jumble of results. 

The underclassmen have no idea who Oda is, but they know you should never bring him up around Dazai.

Lots of rumors circulating as to why he wears his bandages. 

Probably hides Kunikida’s glasses so he can’t see the board. 

Surprisingly good at writing, language arts is his best subject.

Kunikida Doppo: 

Constantly threatening to snitch on Dazai but never does. 

This audio. 

The kid that asks for clarification on assignments and ends up reminding the teacher that they meant to give homework. Doesn’t see the problem with it. 

Does. not. condone. bullying. He’ll push up his glasses and emotionally destroy the perpetrators before filing a fancy report to the faculty advisor. 

Keeps a planner notebook. Very meticulous and organized, he’s proud of it. 

Probably class rep. 

Takes way too many things way too seriously. 

Has never missed a deadline. Ever. 

Every single one of his pencils is somehow always sharpened and perfect. 

Strongly believes that wooden pencils are superior to mechanical ones. 

Good at math, but also art. He sees the canvas as a kind of graph, does particularly well with landscapes. 

Very serious about getting proper nutrients from what he eats and drinks throughout the day, he plans his lunches for the week ahead of time.

Does very well in debate class too.

Always perfectly in uniform, scolds Dazai when he has his tie loose or didn’t button up his blazer or something like that. 

Ranpo Edogawa: 

Does favors for people when it gets close to Valentine’s Day to make sure he’ll get some chocolates. 

Do I even need to say it- ALWAYS snacking in class. 

Coerces as much free food out of other students as possible. 

Eventually they pick up on his game and stop feeding him. 

Snitches on people flawlessly in the middle of class, the culprit fuming, the teacher dumbfounded. Maybe he can get away with snacks once in a while. 

When people ask him to help them study he usually just redirects them to Atsushi. 

That kid that’s always leaning his chair back way too far but never falls.

The faculty has basically given up on punishing him. After school detention?- more sleeping time. Extra homework?- doesn’t even break a sweat.

Knows exactly who is cheating on the test, gets offered bribes from both the students cheating so he doesn’t tell on them and the teachers who want to know who it is.

That one kid that just shoves looseleaf crumpled paper into their backpack, seems like they’ve never used a binder in their life. Somehow turns everything in just fine. 

Says he doesn’t have gum on him when he’s literally chewing a piece. 

Always goes and visits/annoys Fukuzawa when he can. Fukuzawa actually doesn’t mind and Ranpo enjoys getting to talk to his favorite teacher. 

Doesn’t even check the board when tests results come out, he already knows what he got, and can easily guess the others’ scores too. 

Most people couldn’t actually tell you what his eye color is. 

Fukuzawa is the only teacher Ranpo will actually take a lecture from seriously, the other administrators have to call him over when they need to scold the boy.

Atsushi Nakajima: 

The only one who did their part in the group project. 

Always offering to help the teachers, tutors other students, etc. etc.

An angel, really. Akutagawa is the only one able to make him upset. 

Extremely apologetic, would probably help the janitor clean up if he ever accidentally made a mess. 

Probably tried out for a part in a school production at least once. 

Turning heads from around the room when he reveals that he plays piano. 

So shy about it though, he probably didn’t even mean to say it. 

Dazai gave him a pep talk before his first performance. 

After that, he starts to come out of his shell in music class, does well in music theory too. 

Would literally die if he ever received a love letter or anything of the sort. 

Doesn’t like to share who his favorite teachers are out of fear of hurting their feelings. 

Definitely has a bond with at least one facilitator, is probably friends with the janitor and cafeteria cooks. 

Wouldn’t hesitate to give his umbrella to someone if it were raining after school.

Found a blue-eyed kitten on his walk home once. It’s his now, he kept it, and Dazai absolutely adores it. 

Always has index cards or post-it notes on him to quickly write something down or give someone a piece of information. 

Makes specific playlists for studying different subjects. 

Kyoka Izumi: 

When she entered school, there was a lot of talk about her past; it ranged from what happened to her parents to saying she’d kill you if you even looked at her. Became a social outcast. :(

As soon as Atsushi caught wind of the rumors, he immediately shut them down, jumping to her defense whenever he could.

Now she’ll death glare at anyone being mean to him. 

Doesn’t understand the concept of a school dance, she only went because the others seemed excited about it. 

Actually ended up having a great time, replaying the fond memories in her head the next day. 

A sucker for bunny keychains. She has the one on her phone, yes, but also a few on her backpack and maybe pencil pouch.

Atsushi gave one of them to her for her birthday, she doesn’t even know how he found out when her birthday is.

She refuses to allow her phone to be confiscated (for obvious reasons).

Doesn’t use it in class or when she’s not supposed to or anything like that, but if a teacher is having a particularly bad day and decides to try to take it from her, her grip is unassailable.

Fukuzawa knows what happened to her, so he usually steps in to diffuse the situation and get the teacher to let it go.

She finds watercolor time in art class pleasantly therapeutic. 

The only one who helps Atsushi with the group assignment. 

Fukuzawa’s favorite student. They get each other. 

Kenji Miyazawa: 

Literally every teacher wishes they had him in their class. 

His only issue is that he keeps forgetting you have to wear close-toed shoes to school, he can never remember to change them.

So many athletic teams want him to join them, but he remains loyal to the garden club. 

Has impressed the school nurse with his home remedies. 

Has (unknowingly) talked down a few fights. 

Smiles so brightly in his school photo every year. 

Does well in the environmental/botanical portion of science class. 

Incapable of holding a grudge. 

Really dislikes doing dissections. 

The meals he brings from home are the BEST- everyone always wants to try a bite. Kunikida has to shoo the others away so Kenji doesn’t give away his entire meal. 

One time at a school soccer match, Kenji was watching from the sidelines with some friends and one of the players kicked the ball his way. He got hit smack in the face and fell over, everyone thought he was out cold and was ready to call an ambulance, but he just stood up and brushed it off like it was nothing. His nose bled a little, but he assured everyone that he felt fine.

They had him checked out by the school nurse that day just to be sure. Yosano had a look at him too. 

Returns every single pen and pencil he borrows. 

Had never seen mechanical pencils before coming to Yokohama, was absolutely fascinated. 

Yosano Akiko: 

No one actually knows what the inside of her bag or locker looks like.

“When you first meet her and wonder why she’s single and now you’re three months into the relationship and you know why.” (No Yosano hate, I just feel like this has happened to people who thought she looked approachable at first glance). 

Keeps a hairbrush and bobby pins in her bag.

Checks every box, the prime example of that friend everyone needs. She’ll stick up for you, provide you with things you need, is really nice to talk to, gives AMAZING advice.

Some people are afraid of her, which is kind of fair. 

Hands-on learning experiments in science class are her favorite. 

Actually enjoys dissections. 

The butterfly clip is OFF LIMITS. Absolutely no one is allowed to touch it. 

Hardly ever has to use a calculator, she excels at quick mental math and long division problems. 

Completely prepared to perform CPR, the Heimlich maneuver, etc. at all times. 

I feel like she would keep houseplants on a shelf somewhere. Simple ones, dark leaves and pretty blossoms. 

Professor Mori, the psychology and human behavior teacher, is the only person in the entire school who can give her the chills. 

Has known she wants to be a doctor since the beginning of her school life. 

The teachers have tried to encourage her to at least consider creating a plan B, but she refuses. 

Probably critiques the school nurse and their methods so hard. “No, the gauze needs to be tighter than that if you actually want to stop the bleeding.” “Apply heat if you want the muscles to relax, not cold!” “Do you even know how to use an epi-pen?!”

I feel like Yosano can sing, she would probably do well in choir.

Could be persuaded to sing onstage for a school production if provided a good enough reason. I’m just saying it’s not completely off the table for her. 

Fukuzawa Yukichi:

The only student that knows his complete backstory is Ranpo, and he won’t tell anyone else because Fukuzawa pays him off with snacks in exchange. 

I could only really see him as a literary teacher.

One time he accidentally mentioned that he has a cat in class. Every student erupted into a series of exclamations and demanded pictures.

Now they get him cat-themed gifts on holidays and for his birthday, the man could not be happier. 

Naomi likes to come talk to him about random thoughts she has, things her brother does, she treats him like another one of her friends. 

Has the scariest serious voice, it’ll make any student shut their mouth. 

Likes to eat his lunches outside. 

Kyoka is his favorite student. Ranpo too, of course, but Fukuzawa and Kyoka hold a special kinship.

A handful of students can sense the mutual war between Fukuzawa and Mori, the psychology professor across the hall. (I considered anatomy or something like that for Mori, I just feel like psyche would be more fitting for him to actually teach). 

Fukuzawa and Mori are the faculty members that have been at the school the longest.

One time Atsushi brought Fukuzawa a warm turvis of his favorite tea because he “just looked a little tired yesterday” and that’s when he knew that he would be keeping his job for a long time. 

Always cooks his own meals and brings them for lunch, would rather die than have to survive off of instant ramen or something like that. 

His class is the only one ever completely behaved during the fire drills. 

[threadmonster]

But what if they shipped each  other

This is a little long?

- Dazai notices Atsushi and Akutagawa are getting along a lot more lately, so naturally he comes to his own conclusions and starts scheming, after all his predictions are always right. - He sneaks up on Chuuya to explain the situation, but gets punched in the stomach you can’t sneak up on me like that - Dazai just laughs it off and says he has urgent matters to discuss. - “you want to get those two together?” he’s not sure it’s a great idea but then it quickly becomes clear he has no choice but to participate. - Meanwhile, Atsushi had noticed Dazai and Chuuya together so he had went to talk to Akutagawa about it. Who is skeptical at first but the “evidence” seemed solid. - So both “teams” (read: couples) are going around trying to create like romantic situations to push the respective couple together

- but... do any of them even know anything about romance? Dazai probably thinks he does, he flirts with women on the time, obviously he understands the concept. Chuuya informs him that no, you are just a menace (but he also isn’t better off)

- just try to convince me that Akutagawa knows what’s going on. He’d probably suggest something violent to make them feel like it’s life or death so then they’re compelled to confess. Atsushi gives him points for understanding that strong emotional situations like that can lead to the admission of feelings but also, no, they aren’t doing that -  I’m not saying Atsushi knows anything either but he probably read a book or two with a romantic plot and he is the least violent or eccentric. - anyway both soukou and shin soukoku came up with the same plan: send fake love letters so they meet up at a cafe and then go to spy on them. - so now each couple thinks their plan worked and they’re spying, totally not on a date. Not asking “hey we had this planned why did you send that letter?” - At this point Dazai knows what’s going on, he is a great detective after all. But he figures if his cute pupils want to push him together with Chuuya, who was he to fight it? it’s not like he doesn’t have feelings for him. - Akutagawa also has suspicions. He may not be able to tell what Dazai is thinking but he isn’t an idiot. Something about those letter smelled like his antics. - They have a small exchange “I know what you’re doing” “aren’t you doing the same?” - So now Dazai is just going along with it all like it’s fun and Akutagawa is alert as if this is a trap he refuses to fall into. even though it isn’t sinister at all.

[ssamie]

seven. “pretty boy”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide

masterlist.           suicide freak!

"and why did you disappear for two days straight?!" kunikida exclaimed "what could you have possibly been doing all those times you've skipped work?!"

she simply smiled as she hummed under her breath, blatantly ignoring the man. "i told you i had school, kunikida-kun" she said with a soft chuckle

"i know that. i've already let that go since the president approved of it, but your absence is always messing up my schedule!" kunikida grumbled in annoyance as he slammed his hand on her desk.

"you are my partner and you have to work with me and not slack off all the time!"

"are you even listening?!" kunikida shrieked

"of course" she answered mindlessly. she simply stared at the phone she was holding with a cutesy grin and a small blush on her cheeks. "kenma-kun is so adorable! i truly couldnt ask for a better suicide partner!" she gushed 

kunikida irked a brow while atsushi simply sighed. 

"are you seriously following the poor guy around?" atsushi asked "that's kind of wrong you know" he said 

kunikida gritted his teeth and grasped her by the shoulders. "that is what you waste your time on rather than doing your work?!" kunikida exclaimed angrily 

he started shaking her violently, though she still had the same dumb grin on her face as she sluggishly chanted kenma's name 

"oya? would you look at the time, kunikida-kun!" she chimed. she pointed to the wall clock, displaying the time. 7:30. "i have to get to school! bye-bye!" she waved 

suddenly, just before she could exit the door, she turned around to look at him. her eyebrows furrowed as a look of concern painted itself on her features. 

"hey, kunikida-kun" she called out

kunikida glanced at her with gritted teeth, but didn't respond. 

"you should ease down, you know?" she cooed "i heard if you're too neurotic, you'll get lots of wrinkles and your aging becomes accelerated" she said with a hum 

kunikida calmed himself down as he sent her a curious yet wary look. "is that true?" he asked 

"oh, you should take notes" she urged him 

complying, he pulled out his notebook and began writing down. "if you're too neurotic..." he voiced out as he wrote "your aging will-" 

"im messing with you" she admitted nonchalantly 

a loud snap could be heard, emitting from the pen he was holding which was now broken in half.  "bastard! stop ridiculing me!" kunikida exclaimed 

just as the heel of his shoe could hit her, she skillfully dodged and stepped out of the room.  "hehe, see you later~" she cooed as she waved them goodbye 

as kunikida went back to screaming and whining about his good-for-nothing partner, atsushi could only watch in dread and confusion 

atsushi sweat dropped, hesitantly lowering his head on his desk as he muttered under his breath. 

"i really wonder why those two are partners" 

"oya oya. you sure are late, ms. manager" kuroo mused 

she simply laughed in response and waved him off "sorry. i had some things to take care of" she said  "has fukurodani arrived yet?" she asked as she fiddled with the bandages on her neck 

"yeah, they're in the gym. we were waiting for you so we stayed out here for a while" kuroo said 

kenma sent her a longing glance, though he stood still while clutching his PSP in hand.  call him dramatic, but a minute has passed and she hasn't greeted nor tried to convince him on a double suicide yet. 

it was unnerving. 

"oya? you look peeved, kenma" kuroo whispered to him . the bedhead captain smirked teasingly as kenma huffed in annoyance. 

"shut up, kuroo" kenma whispered back 

then finally, she noticed him. she shot him a loopy grin and a wave

"oh, kenma!" she beamed "i have a pretty funny story" kenma smiled and nodded, urging her to continue with her 'funny story' 

"so last night, i tried to put the toaster in my bathtub!" 

noticing her loud and distinctive voice, and her ever so lovely suicidal tales, nekomata let out an amused chuckle. he lead fukurodani's two managers over to the girl. 

"but my power got cut off." she sulked, though kenma just listened along, completely unbothered 

"so i tried again this morning! but ranpo-san stole my toaster-" 

"this is y/n! she's nekoma's newest manager. so far, she's been doing a pretty good job." nekomata chimed in "hi! we're fukurodani's managers!" they greeted 

she excused herself away from kenma, much to his displeasure 

she sent the girls a smile and a wave "hey, i.." she trailed off. the girls look at her curiously as her eyes seemed to follow a certain dark haired setter. 

"i..think i have found the most beautiful boy i've ever laid my eyes on!" she exclaimed. her eyes seemed to sparkle as she studied each inch he had to offer from head to toe. 

"oh, akaashi-kun?!" one of the managers squealed excitedly

"you have good taste, y/n-chan! wanna talk to him?" the other girl asked 

"oh boy, do i?" she grinned as she prance around happily "i have a very important question to ask him!" 

as she and the two managers made their merry way over to akaashi, kuroo and kenma stayed behind watching them. kuroo chuckled and nudged the pudding-head. "heh. looks like you've been replaced" he said 

"y/n found a new boy to- um.. kenma?" kuroo sweatdropped 

kuroo grinned nervously as he watched kenma scrunch his face up in distaste, looking quite agitated as he gave akaashi a nasty glare. 

kenma gritted his teeth as he watched his girl-friend getting hyped up by the girls to talk to the setter. 

"oh no.. is y/n gonna pop the question to their setter?" yaku said as he caught sight of the girl creeping up behind akaashi 

"i think she's just saying hi.." kai intervened with his usual kind smile 

"no.. most likely not" yaku hummed 

she bit back a grin as she tapped akaashi on the shoulder. the setter perked up as he put away his bottle. he looked back to meet sparkling (e/c) colored eyes. 

"oya? can i help you with anything?" akaashi asked 

"akaashi-kun, this is y/n-chan! she's nekoma's manager!" the girls said 

akaashi nodded and bowed politely "nice to meet you, y/n-san. my name is akaashi keiji" 

she wordlessly took his hand in her bandaged ones, much to his surprise. though akaashi still managed to keep his stoic expression despite the soothing touches she left on his skin. 

"i have finally found a reason to live.." she started off dramatically "a reason to live? no! a reason i've kept living until now!" she exclaimed 

she looked up at him with sparkling eyes, filled with endearment and admiration. "that's right! i've lived to this day so i can go on a double suicide with you!" 

akaashi raised his eyebrows in surprise, while the entirety of nekoma simply bowed in apology from behind her. 

"i-is that so?" akaashi asked, a small chuckle emitting from his lips "yes! im sure of it!" she said "ah, mon amour~" she cooed 

"double suicide?" akaashi muttered in confusion "feel free to do it on your own..?" 

"well, maybe don't do it at all, actually" akaashi said with a soft chuckle.

"a double suicide is not possible alone!" she countered 

akaashi blinked and looked up at nekoma, who were still silently apologising. the dark haired setter looked at her in concerned and asked, "are you in need of a therapist or perhaps someone to talk to, y/n-san?" 

"why would you ask that, mon amour?" she smiled nervously 

"im quite concerned for you." akaashi said "and if you don't, i'd be happy to refer you one." he offered 

she silently stared at him with a smile, him doing the same. his hands were still in hers as they looked at each other in silence. she then flushed a soft pink as she dramatically covered her face with her hands. 

"ah! your vitality is blinding!" she exclaimed 

akaashi simply laughed and nodded along, slightly amused by her crazy and bubbly persona. 

"AKGAAASHII!" bokuto's loud voice called out 

"bokuto-san.." akaashi responded, looking back to meet eyes with his overly energetic friend running towards them 

"oh my" she said with a hum. she simply watched as the gray haired boy slapped his hand on akaashi's back. 

"hey hey hey!" bokuto cheered "did you see my totally awesome spike just now, akaashi?!" bokuto asked, followed by a loud and booming laugh 

"im sorry bokuto-san, but i didn't" akaashi said in his usual monotonous voice. almost instantly, bokuto's mood dropped. his hair drooped as a frown etched itself on his face. 

"r-really?" he sniffled with a pout 

"i saw it." she chimed in 

bokuto then grinned, successfully breaking out of his dejected mode. his head snapped towards her, a proud and happy look on his face. 

"is that so? so you saw how i broke through those blocks?! did you?!" bokuto asked eagerly 

she laughed softy, covering her mouth with her hands, as she nodded. "that's right." she said "i don't think i've seen anyone spike that hard. so far, atleast" 

akaashi sweat dropped as he watched bokuto cheer happily, repeatedly chanting his 'hey hey hey' catchphrase as he does so. 

"you shouldn't butter him up so much, y/n-san" akaashi said "though im very grateful. i'd have to resort in not setting to him until he snapped out of it, once again." he chuckled 

she grasped his hands in hers again and sighed dreamily "ah! your decisiveness is even more blinding!" 

"ehem. y/n." kenma chimed in. he fake coughed as he sneakily glared at their hands. "we need you back on our team." he said 

"right, right" she sighed 

"well then, hopefully, i'll see you both later" she said as she waved bokuto and akaashi goodbye 

"it was nice to meet you, y/n-san" akaashi smiled at her

she blinked rapidly as she studied the angelic boy infront of her. "ah! your beauty is truly blinding!" she exclaimed, dramatically holding out her hand to touch his face 

though, before her skin can make contact with his, kenma was already pulling her away. 

"you shouldn't waste your time of day flirting around with guys you see." kenma said in a quiet voice. he kept an emotionless expression as he guided her back to the bench. 

"hmm. i see" she said. she smirked as she studied his tense shoulders and the agitated aura flowing out of him. 

"ne, kenma-kun" she called out "what made you think i was flirting with akaashi?" she asked tauntingly 

kenma stopped in his tracks and side eyed her "huh? well you were-" 

"or better yet.." she cut him off "why are you so bothered?" she smirked "are you perhaps jealous, kenma-kun?" she asked with a teasing hum 

kenma flinched and looked away to avoid her eyes. "no.. why would you say that?" 

"its not like i have any reason to be, anyways" kenma said 

she smiled knowingly and shrugged. "well, i guess you're right." she mused "after all, you're just a friend. i can look for many more and ask others to join me on my goal of a double suicide." 

kenma furrowed his brows at her awfully unfiltered and hurtful words. he stared at her back as he watched her walk away. 

"why.." he muttered 

"hm?" she hummed, sparing him a glance as she took a seat on the bench. 

kenma walked up to her, his hands laying limp on his sides as he lowered his head.  "why would you say that?" he muttered 

she softly smiled as she leaned back on the seat. "why wouldn't i?" she mused 

"b-because!" kenma exclaimed, it was a bit louder than he had intended. the boys of nekoma looked at them from the other side of the gym. 

kuroo chuckled in amusement while the others look at him in confusion "what's happening?" yaku asked  "dunno, yakkun. maybe a lover's quarell or something" kuroo said jokingly 

"ooohh! they're lovers?!" lev asked excitedly 

"idiot." yaku muttered 

kenma racked his brain for the right words to say while she simply watched him with a smile. 

"yare yare, don't beat yourself up about it" she sneered "after all, im just messing with you" she said with a small chuckle 

kenma pouted at her. he stuffed his hands in the side of his shorts and turned away. "you're so mean." he said with a frown 

"eh?? i was just joking!" she exclaimed as she pulled him back by his arm, forcing him to sit next to her. "after all, i'd never replace you!" she squealed loudly as she latched her arms around him. 

"never never never!" she chanted repeatedly as she nuzzled her cheek along his hair 

kenma groaned as he felt himself getting tossed and tugged around like a doll, once again. 

"i won't let you go until we both drop dead!" she exclaimed loudly. she had a blush on her face, paired with a dreamy smile "ah! imagine dying alongside each other!" 

she squeezed kenma even tighter, possibly crushing his ribs and windpipe. "ah! i wouldn't have it any other way!" she exclaimed with teary eyes

"o-okay, i get it!" kenma wheezed 

he pushed her away and gently massaged his aching body. "geez. keep doing that and you'll kill me before you can have your awfully anticipated double suicide" he said 

he then walked away, back towards the team by the court. as she fully registers his words, she blinked in shock and looked at his retreating figure. 

"does that mean you'll go on a double suicide with me?" she asked 

"dont get your hopes up." 

leaving her behind, kenma walked up to the team, ignoring their painfully obvious stares. 

"what." he spat out, sending his teammates an irritated look. 

"oh, nothing. nothing at all~" kuroo mused, a small smirk grazing his lips 

kenma sighed and picked up a ball, blatantly ignoring kuroo and yamamoto who were now hovering over his shoulder 

"nice job, kenma! you finally snagged a girl!" yamamoto cheered "please go away" kenma muttered 

kuroo laughed and slung his arm around him. "don't worry kenma, no other boy will be taking up your lady's attention" he mused. kenma sighed and turned away from them. 

"again, please go away" 

it was the end of the day, and fukurodani was settling in an Inn a block down from nekoma. "wanna eat out today? i can call over some people from the other team" kuroo asked them 

"yeah! im so hungry!" yamamoto whined 

"are you coming, y/n-senpai?" inouka asked her 

she simply smiled and nodded. "sure, i'd love to-" 

though she cut herself off as she felt some minimal movement and a pressure nearing her face. she quickly grasped whatever it is in her hand just before it could fully pierce her skin. 

"oya? what’s this?" she muttered with a hum 

"e-eh?? y/n-senpai is that a knife?!" lev shrieked in fear, making the others look her way. 

sure enough, she was standing there, holding a dagger by the hilt. the said dagger pointed to her face. 

"why do you have that?" kenma asked, a hint of panic and worry in his tone 

"well, i was sure it came from nowhere, really" she replied nonchalantly. she pulled the blade away, revealing a small shallow cut on the side of her cheek. a lone drop of blood dripped down from the wound.

she wiped it off with the back of her hand, causing the white bandages to stain a crimson red. 

"what do you mean?" yaku asked, now also worried. 

"well, it came from that direction-" she stopped herself as another dagger came flying towards her. though she used the one in her hand to skillfully block it before it could hit her. 

"oi! who the hell threw that?!" yamamoto exclaimed angrily. the boy looked around the empty street, trying to see who would dare try to hurt their friend. 

"hmm." she hummed thoughtfully, twirling the dagger in her hand. 

"plotting as usual?" a voice called out 

the boys watched in confusion as she perked up from the sound, a look of dread and agitation looming her features. 

"that voice.." she muttered, her face slightly scrunched up 

"its been quite long, and seeing you like this.." he said "soft, vulnerable, wounded.."

"its quite laughable. won't you agree, y/n?" chuuya sneered

she simply gagged and threw the dagger away. "gross! man, gross!" she whined out 

"i like that reaction" chuuya replied nonchalantly "it makes me wanna strangle you." 

she simply gritted her teeth as she watched him in agitation. her eye twitched every so often as he walked towards her. 

kuroo butted in, a look of confusion in his face. "um, sorry but who the hell is this?" he asked with a scoff 

kuroo looked down at chuuya, who simply ignored him and made his merry way towards the girl. 

"did you miss me, you suicidal brat?" chuuya spat out with a laugh 

she simply groaned and hugged kenma's arm as a way to scurry away from chuuya. 

"ugh. ew."

[kaeyas-beloved]

Hello! Since requests are open, may I request for Dazai & Chuya from bsd (separately) with a s/o who's hair is basically messed up, like knotted really really bad after months of not taking care of it because of depression. How would they handle it? Would they help her sort it out? How would they? I am so sorry if it's weird but I really need some sort of comfort. I understand if you feel uncomfortable writing this! Thanks in advance.

Hello Anon! This doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all, don’t worry :) I hope these can provide the comfort you’re searching for. I’m sorry if they’re not that good or if anything is wrong - Chuuya’s a bit more clear on what he’d be willing to do to help while Dazai’s I think you have to infer a little (I could be wrong, when it comes to your own writing these kinds of things can get confusing...[make sense?]) 

But anyway!! If you want anything more/changed etc. don’t be afraid to come back and ask! 

Warning(s): Depression themes

~~~

Dazai & Chuuya Helping a S/O w/ Knotted Hair Because of Being in Bed/Depression

Dazai Osamu

Immediately he could recognize what was going on, all too acquainted with the bells and whistles of depression himself.

And he gets it. He absolutely understands.

Dazai has most likely been in a near identical place that you are now, in bed and unable to do anything, including taking care of oneself.

In the beginning he let it slide, wanting to gauge what kind of moves you’d make in the coming days. Is this depressive episode a short one or a longer one? Will you pop back yourself or not?

Now though, that it’s come this far, so far that if he was to run his fingers through your locks like he’s done so many times before and loose hairs follow or knotted clumps can be pulled from the ends, Dazai knows this is the time he has to step in.

“My beautiful belladonna...” his voice is devoid of all the usual playfulness as he steps into your shared room, taking a seat at the side of the bed beside your lying form. Slowly he leans forward, placing a chaste kiss to your nose, absentmindedly twirling a strand of unknotted hair that’s separated from the rest. His eyes that could be described as hazel stare into your own orbs, a serious look in them.

“How long has it been?”

“Three weeks...” there was little to no hesitation when it came to answering, you knew full well what he was referring to. It still didn’t stop Dazai’s brows from furrowing though. A beat of silence passes, nothing but the sound of your mixed breathing in the room, before an idea comes forth.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” He told you, standing and making his way into another room. When the sound of running water filled the quiet space you couldn’t help the confusion that came over you. What was he planning this time?

Minutes later and the water stopped and Dazai emerged through the open bathroom door.

Wordlessly he slipped his lanky arms under your knees and behind your back. About to question his actions, maybe even protest against them, all the words died in your throat the moment you saw his expression. It pleaded that you trust him this once, a warmth in them that tells you he’s trying to help and that he cares so much.

And you find yourself subtlety nodding, giving permission for him to lift you out of bed for perhaps the first time in awhile. Carrying you to the side of the tub Dazai set you down onto your feet. Lithe fingers started to work on taking your shirt off, movement slow and calculated, leaving the opportunity for you to stop him and do it yourself if you want.

You don’t, and Dazai continues until you’re bare. He gestures vaguely to the still water awaiting you and you dip your toes in it. It’s warm is the first thing you note as you lower the rest of your body, and it smells exactly like the bath salt that you gifted your boyfriend as a joke for his birthday.

Rolling his sleeves up, Dazai kneels to the ground, grabbing a bowl he’d placed nearby earlier and filled it. Tilting your head back, he covers your eyes as he pours the liquid onto your head, doing this a few times until your hair is thoroughly soaked before he starts to wash it. Finally, what he’s doing makes sense.

“’m sorry...” The apology is unprompted, but it just felt right in that moment. He has to help you, he should have to though... and you continue to stare blankly at the rippling water. Dazai hums, stops and hooks his forefinger under your chin, moving your gaze up to meet his.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for my love. You told me that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes, so let me help you like you’ve helped me in the past...” he whispered, voice soothing, “I love you my belladonna...”

He’s helping you, he’ll do things for you when you can’t - because he loves you that much... it’s okay to ask for his help...

“...I love you too, Osamu...”

Nakahara Chuuya

He saw that you weren’t acting like you usually do, but unfortunately, he didn’t connect the dots properly and figured you were just extremely tired. Maybe something happened at work?

Chuuya didn’t question it either, hoping that you’d come to him if something was bothering you... yet when you didn’t and he could visibly see the toll it was taking on you, his worry grew to the point he just couldn’t ignore it anymore. He figured that a good wash was a step in the right direction.

“Take a damn shower!” It sounds harsh, especially when his voice is just a little louder than the tone he usually uses with you, and he internally kicks himself for it, but under it lies raw emotion.

Fear, confusion. Chuuya doesn’t understand all that well what you’re going through and it hurts him to not know how he can help. But he also knows that what you’re feeling is far worse.

So, while you soak in the rain of the shower, the mafia executive calls up an old colleague. Dazai.

He’s reluctant at first, but the thought of reaching out to someone who’s a little more... experienced, someone that might have a piece of advice that could help, well, he’s willing to swallow the burning hate towards the other male just this once.

He’s grateful to hear the seriousness that drips in Dazai’s voice, and every word that the brunet says he mentally notes, taking it all to heart. After five minutes, Dazai has said all he could on the matter and the call ends.

Half an hour passes and you step out of the bathroom, fresh, warm clothes adoring your body, no doubt your boyfriend being the one who warmed them in the dryer and set them in the bathroom for you. Aimlessly you walked into the living room, the sight of Chuuya sitting crossed legged on the couch coming into view. The moment he sees you he stands, delicately latching onto your hand and pulling you back down onto his lap.

The thump of his heartbeat calms you somewhat, as well as the soothing strokes he does on your back.

Something Dazai said was that not everyone is willing to open up, even if they’re a loved one, and that you can’t always outright ask what’s going on either. As frustrating as it is for him, Chuuya remains silent, running his free hand through your still damp hair, fewer tangles than there was before you bathed.

Whether anything is revealed about your depression is completely up to you. Chuuya will listen to every syllable that leaves the lips he loves oh so much, or, if you don’t, he’ll simply continue to stroke your hair and rub your back, planting feather light kisses to your temple. 

What he does regardless of if you say something or not is that he’ll stay right by your side, supporting you however he can. He’ll talk to you if you’re up for it, cuddle you, give you some space if need be, shower or soak in the tub with you if it helps, you name it Chuuya will do it.

These things take time and he’s willing to put as much time aside for you as you need.

Anything for the person he cherishes most. 

“Never forget that I love you, alright? You’ll get through this ‘cause you’re strong, I know you are.”

~

Requests are open (as of me writing/posting this)! Make sure to check out the rules for the fandoms and characters I write for!

Masterlist (has rules/fandoms link there too)

[soukokuwu]

DAZAI OSAMU

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐈 𝐌𝐄𝐓 𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍

》 angst, unfortunately (dazai x reader)

》 trigger warnings! suicide themes, death

》 word count: 2.3k

》 notes: you saw him for the exact opposite of what he was. he did you a favour, but everything has a price. and now he has come to collect.

》 a story where Dazai is an angel

The ring of the shopkeeper’s bell. The smooth wood of the door. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee. The taste of baked ham. The sun illuminating the alley right outside the cafe.

There he appeared again. After ten years.

He looked just as you remembered. He didn’t age. Bandage over his right eye. Black hair a mess, covering one half of his face. Deep brown eyes as alluring as ever, piercing into your very soul. Black tailored suit, black tie, white dress shirt, same as the last time.

Although, there was one thing different about him.

Black feathered wings that used to be almost miniscule compared to his person— no, could you even call him that? Body. The wings that used to be diminutive compared to his body were now thicker and wider, standing even taller than his frame.

You were painfully aware that only you could see his beauty. Everyone else walked past him without regard. You strolled over to the figure, aware that he saw himself far from what you made him out to be in your head. That wouldn’t deter you from believing that of him though.

Your guardian angel.

»»-------------¤-------------««

Scribbling.

Sound of pen against paper had been all you could hear.

The pen had been discarded and you felt a pat on your head. You had looked up into his eyes. Empty. Vacant. Hopeless.

He had grabbed your hand and led the way. Something had been weird about the route he took that day. That had not been the usual way the two of you took to your school.

A left instead of a right. A bookshop instead of a cafe. The hustle and bustle of people instead of the usual seclusion. Yet you never questioned him. He had been the adult after all. Maybe there was a special event today that you had forgotten about. Yes, that could be why he hadn’t taken you straight to school.

The two of you had finally reached the train station. It had only been on rare occasions that you would step foot there, given that your family hardly ever went out. Even at twelve years old you could tell that your parents were struggling financially. In spite of that, though, you were all happy together. As long as you had each other, your mom would always say.

It had been a windy day. The sky turned a darker shade of grey. It had not been too crowded for a weekday morning in the subway station, so you could see the sky clearly even though you had been a short little child back then.

An announcement played, saying the train would be delayed and it would take a while longer. You looked around, trying to find the display screen that estimated the next train’s arrival.

However, something moved past you and caught your eye. A single black feather fell in front of your face and you eyed it until it touched the ground. You gripped your father’s hand tighter out of fear, but it barely registered in your father’s head. He was much too preoccupied with his own thoughts. Scared as you had been, curiosity got the better of you and you looked around for the source. It could not have been a crow, so where could the feather have come from?

Just as you were looking, you spotted him there, near the front of the platform, facing your direction. A general disinterested look, blank chocolate eyes looking straight ahead at absolutely nothing, dark brown hair and small black wings floating in the breeze. Even all those years ago, he looked breathtaking to you. Something that was supposed to instill fear intrigued you instead. He spoke of something in a soft murmur, in a voice low enough you couldn’t make out what it was.

A pair of watchful eyes followed him as he walked toward you, looking around at everyone on the platform. As the creature passed by you, he stopped in his tracks. His body stiffened and he slowly turned to look at you, who had been blinking up at him skeptically.

“This human is creeping me out,” he had murmured to himself, gulping and then bending his knees to get leveled with you. His eyes had then seemed alive for that split second, filled with intrigue. “It’s as if she can see me.”

“But I can,” you said, almost causing him to stumble over.

The creature blinked in succession as he tried to register what you had just said.

“You can... see me?”

You nodded, attention completely focused on the peculiar being in front of you. He had ominous black wings, but you didn’t feel scared of him at all. You then proceeded to question him about why it was that nobody else could see him. But everything he had shared with you about the different dimensions and how it worked were too complicated for you to remember. Being the inquisitive child you were, you kept interacting with the being. Banter and jokes were all you remembered sharing with him that day.

“You’re funny,” you had told him, laughing at the stupid joke he shared.

The creature had laughed too, before his expression shifted slowly into that of hesitance. You had asked what was wrong, but he shook his head, claiming it had been nothing. He was seemingly looking at something past you, but he hogged your attention by asking if you wanted to see a magic trick. Excited, you had given him all your focus, and by the time you clapped for him and noticed the absence of your father’s hand, you realised you were someplace else.

It was a peaceful place. The both of you were situated in a meadow, surrounded by a sea of colourful flowers. The skies there were a dark grey too. The only sound you could hear was that of the wind blowing. You were alone there with him, your father nowhere in sight. Despite having been teleported to a foreign dimension with someone you barely knew, all you had been thinking of was how much you wanted to explore this place.

“I can’t see the station anymore,” you had casually remarked.

“Sometimes it’s better to see what isn’t there instead of what is,” the creature had replied, an ache in his tone you didn’t miss.

Before you could ask him what he meant, warm droplets of rain started falling onto your face. The creature used his wings to shelter you from the rain, letting himself get drenched. His wings were too small to cover the both of you at the time. Feeling bad, you had asked if he could take you to his home so that you both would get shelter. The flash of melancholy that took over his face you could not have missed.

“Not now, you have to get back home,” he murmured gently, patting you on the head. You nodded in resigned compliance, catching a glimpse of the words imprinted on his wings.

Osamu Dazai.

The world around you began to shimmer and flow together, the colours of the flowers mixing together in circles. It was all making you sick, and so you chose to close your eyes. Everything was spinning. But as you felt a few raindrops fall onto your face, it stopped.

When you opened your eyes next, you found your mother sat next to you on your bed, crying over your body, hugging you when she realised you had come to.

The creature was nowhere in sight.

And neither was your father.

»»-------------¤-------------««

No one told you what really happened that day until a few years ago, when your mother was on her deathbed. Initially, she had just claimed that your father had to move to another city and wouldn’t come back. You were twelve but you weren’t that stupid. You didn’t believe her, but you thought better than to press her about it.

However as she was dying, she told you the real story of how your father disappeared. She recounted to you his suicide note, word for word. He had had enough of his life. Apparently the happiness you saw in your family as a kid was all a facade. Your father was far from a joyful man. He was beyond depressed, with a shit job and a shittier financial situation. His wife had lost interest in him as a man and his only solace had been you. Which was why he wanted to bring you with him. To die with him.

His plan that day was to jump in front of a moving train with you. But that creature had saved you at the last minute. According to witness accounts, they saw you let go of your father’s hand just as he was about to jump off the platform before you fainted on the spot. There was a small boy who swore he saw a man with brown hair and black wings who pried you away from your father, but of course the authorities didn’t take him seriously.

»»-------------¤-------------««

The city looked so much better from way up high. It had been a while since you were here. The wind blowing reminded you of that day when you were teleported to another dimension. You shifted your gaze from the scenery to the figure beside you. He had followed you here all the way from the cafe. He looked even more mesmerising now with a soft smile plastered on his face.

“Dazai?” You called out hesitantly.

The being nodded in acknowledgement. However, you found you couldn’t quite find the right words to say now that he was here, in the flesh.

“Ask me.”

His statement stunned you. It was a gentle kind of prodding, indicating he understood the situation. You were almost a hundred percent sure by now of his answer, and as much as you would like to confirm it, you decided against it.

“You’re my guardian angel, Dazai.”

It was not what he really was, but it was true all the same. He had saved you as a child even though he had absolutely no reason to. Osamu Dazai saved you even though he had been, and was still, the embodiment of death.

“I’m the angel of death,” he uttered, completely monotone. Dazai looked puzzled now, his lips pressed into a firm line. He shifted his gaze and looked out at the view of the city from his spot on the skyscraper. The streets surrounding this building were somewhat secluded, save for two or three pedestrians walking below. You caught a look of understanding that seemed to wash over him, as though a sudden realisation of your intentions, and why he even appeared before you in the first place.

You thought back to all those years ago, when you tried to convince people you weren’t crazy. In hindsight, telling people about a heavenly creature that saved you from death’s grip wasn’t the brightest idea. It had resulted in years of bullying, several counts of physical abuse and a consequent depression that you wished would go away.

Where you would normally be shut in at home, today you were out and about. You had taken work leave. All your colleagues were stunned into silence yesterday when you offered everyone cupcakes. They should; you usually didn’t even respond much even when spoken to. But the day before, everyone found you pleasant to be around, and you could see the looks of relief on all of their faces. They all spoke of not being able to wait to see you the next day.

Everyone who thought they knew you took it as a sign of you getting better. But no. To you it was a sign of clarity. You felt more upbeat today than any other day. It was because you knew exactly what waited for you at the end of the day: oblivion.

Before you knew it, you were standing at the edge of the building. Your legs trembled slightly when you realised just how high up you were. The fear was taken over by confusion when you felt warmth envelop your right hand.

Dazai’s fingers were intertwined with yours and he offered you the most comforting smile you’d seen in a long while. You were completely perplexed by the words he uttered next.

“I’ve always wanted to commit a double suicide with a beautiful lady when I was human.”

You had expected that he was the angel of death, but you never thought he had been human before. How it worked you would never find out, but there was something you wanted to know.

“Aren’t angels like you immortal?”

“My death was set in stone the moment I saved you from myself.”

Dazai did not need to explicitly tell you, but you deciphered it anyway. It was a simple message: your death would spell his. That’s all there was to it. A curse of some sort, because he had failed his duties all those years back. He forcefully saved a soul bound to death by his own hands. This was his punishment. But he did not look the least bit unhappy.

If anything, he radiated pure bliss. It was a bittersweet moment. The person you had dreamt of countless times in your life, the one you had fantasised finding again and again— he finally appeared but it was on an ominous condition. It only meant one thing: you would not change your mind today.

Your legs stopped trembling. Your heart started pounding faster in your chest. The warmth of the noon sun was getting uncomfortable. Yet you found the warmth of his hand relaxing.

Without warning, you felt your hand being yanked toward him, your body covered in his warm embrace. This time, his wings were big enough to shield both you and him from the outside world. You could see nothing but his face. You were pressed against his chest, foreheads touching and eyes glued to each other’s. You felt any fear you had dissipate into the void.

“Will you meet me in another life?”

You couldn’t help but ask. It was something you were wishing for, no matter how impossible it may seem: to get to know Osamu Dazai as a person. You hoped to find him in that other life, if it was possible at all. You wanted to get to know him, to understand his soul, preferably as equals.

Dazai’s unbandaged eye was clouded with a certain bewilderment before it reverted back to a gentle kindness, one you had seen many years before.

“I promise.”

Deep down you knew it was bullshit. You could sense his uncertainty. But as you both plunged to your death, the words were the only comfort you found, aside from the tenderness of his hug.

You opened your eyes to look into his once more, and then everything went black.

A scream.

And then nothing.

tags: @yokelish

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E #11 - D E P R E S S I O N

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WARNING - TRIGGER WARNING! IF YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS, THIS PROMPT MENTIONS THOSE TOPICS AND YOU SHOULD PROCEED WITH CAUTION KNOWING THAT IT WILL ABSOLUTELY BE MENTIONED! PLEASE DON’T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THIS CONTENT!

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D A Z A I

“I don’t like this anymore than you do.” You would whisper, your eyes unmoving from the wall in front of you. Even though you would never once turn around to face him, you would still be able to detect his presence, his eyes burning holes into your back. “I know you don’t.” Dazai would murmur, his voice growing closer as his dull footsteps would inch near the bed. “I would be concerned if I felt you were enjoying living in the state of mind.” He would chuckle humorlessly, the bed dipping beneath you as he joined you in bed, his warm limbs entangling with your frigid ones. It was the first time he had tried to touch you in days simply because he had been trying to give you the space he felt you needed. He had realized his endeavors were futile, nevertheless, realizing a little too late that you needed him. You needed his touch, his presence, his words of encouragement. You needed him period. And he had let you down. It hadn’t been on purpose, but it had still happened. How were you ever going to forgive him? Would you be able to? “I understand why you don’t want to be around me though. I’m not angry. In fact, I understand. You have your own demons, you don’t need to shoulder mine.” You would state curtly, your voice faraway as you closed your eyes basking in the wonderful feeling of having him close to you again. His heart would quite literally crumble at your words. “I always want to be around you, my love. Your demons are my demons, just like mine are yours. We’re a team now, Y/N. I’m sorry I’ve left you alone in this to feel that way about me. I love you very, very much. And we both know that I don’t ever say that lightly.” You shivered as you felt his lips on your neck, his words hot against your cold skin. This touch alone was enough to make you forget for a fleeting second about how empty you were feeling. Surely, it wasn’t enough to cure your dark emotions, but it was a nice distraction-a bandaid, if you will. “Dazai, how do you do it? How do you feel like this constantly and still have the courage to do what you do?” You would ask very seriously, turning around to face him as your eyes bored into his. “Are you asking me what my muse is in existing? What keeps me going even when I feel like life is an endless void of suffering?” Dazai would inquire, taking you into his arms as he stared down at you with an indescribable emotion stirring in his features. All you could do was nod as you took in his ominous form, not sure you were really wanting an answer to the question that you were so painfully curious about. “It’s quite simple, really. My muse in getting up every morning and wanting to right my wrongs, my purpose to living in this cruel, dark world is nothing less or more than the love I have for you, Y/N.” Your heart would stop all together before propelling into an alarming rate knowing that the indistinguishable emotions in his face had been nothing but ardor and pure love for you. Dazai wasn’t typically one to let his exterior guard down, but for you it was nothing. He loved you. He really, really loved you. “And that is the exact reason why I know you’re going to get through this. Because I love you and I will never give up on you because you never gave up on me. We’re in this together now, my dear, sweet Y/N.” And with that, his lips would be crashing against yours with the most sincere, most gentle touch.

-

A K U T A G A WA

“Do you think I am a fool?” His words would pull you up short, your body freezing in place as you turned slowly on your heel to face him. His face would be stone cold, his expression unreadable as he stared intently at you. “Of course not.” You would whisper, your eyebrows furrowing together as you took in his unmoving expression. He was completely still. In fact, you had never seen Aku look so frozen in your life. You would be lying if you said it didn’t frighten you, for you knew this was the calm before a massive storm. “Then why are you lying to me.” Even though his words were supposed to come out as a question, you could hear the statement plain and simple behind his words. This was not a question, no. This was a confrontation. A confrontation that you were destined to lose. Gaping at him for a moment, your head would drop as the tears rushed to your eyes before you could fight it. You hated crying, but what you hated more was having to explain your actions. Why you hadn’t been eating, why you had been spending more time in bed than not, why you had been taking extra long showers and dissociating from Akutagawa for decent periods of time. Furthermore, you knew you were going to have to come clean about your trauma, your depression. You hated it. You hated it more than you could even bear. “I don’t want to lose you.” You would gasp, forcing yourself to look through your blurry vision at your unreadable boyfriend. “I-I-I am damaged goods. I haven’t been depressed since we’ve been together, but this is who I am. This is what I go through from time to time. And I-I really don’t want to lose you because of this.” You would force yourself to pull it together, taking a deep breath as you closed your eyes. You had mastered the art at stifling your emotions. You had mastered the art of pretending like you were okay. “Do you seriously think you’d lose me because of that?” Aku would ask, his tone cold and glaring. “Y/N. You are allowed to be depressed. You are allowed to feel other emotions other than happiness. That is what being human is. It’s not always perfect. It’s not always jubilant. You CANNOT control that. You can control being honest though, which you failed to do making you exceedingly selfish.” He was scolding you, but it wasn’t to parent you. He was scolding you because he felt slighted. He felt slighted and left out of the loop. And he had every right to feel that way, you couldn’t deny that. That made you feel even worse. “I never looked at it that way, I’m just so very ashamed of myself. I’m sorry, Akutagawa, truly.” As he stepped toward you, he let out a complicated sigh, the different emotions flitting across his face in a millisecond. “Typical me making you feel bad for being depressed. I’m not use to taking care of people and having people in my life the way I have you. I shouldn’t be frustrated with you when you’re suffering as you are. I’m the one that should be apologizing, not you.” Wrapping his arms around you as he enveloped you in a bone crushing hug, you would sigh gratefully at his touch. “We’re a mess.” You would laugh against his chest, smiling as you felt his body rumble with laughter as well. “You’re gonna get through this, you know that?” He would finally ask, pulling away to look sincerely at you. With his complete confidence and support, how could you not make it through a depressive stage? “As long as I have you anything is possible.”

-

C H U U Y A

“Are-Are you crying?” You would be horrified. Absolutely, positively horrified. For there stood your beloved boyfriend, the person whom which you adored with your entire soul and being and he would be crying. He would be crying and you wouldn’t know why. “Chuuya.” You would breathe, inching towards him as the pads of your thumbs brushed away his fallen tears. “W-What happened?” You would inquire, your breath hitching in your throat as his miserable eyes would connect with your own. “Y/N, what’s wrong with you?” He would speak, his words no softer than a broken whisper. “You’re growing so thin, you never sleep anymore, I can barely get you to eat or take a shower or do anything. I-I feel like you’re just a hallow version of yourself and I have no idea what to do or how to help you. I feel so helpless. All I want is to make you happy,” Pressing his fingertips gingerly against your cheeks, his eyes would be wild with desperation looking for the slightest bit of life in your dead eyes. Where was that spark? That light? He missed it so much. He missed you so much. Too much. “Chuuya, there’s something you should know.” You would sigh, pressing your forehead against his as you would slump with complete fatigue. You were exhausted, exhausted from the disorder, but you needed to find the courage, the strength to tell Chuuya everything. Furthermore, he deserved it. He deserved to know why you were hurting yourself and hurting him in the process. So, you would tell him. You would pour your complete heart out, starting from phase one. Starting from when you first got these feelings, how you had grown up with them, how you had suffered for an extensive period of time. Most importantly, you would assure him that none of it was his fault. That no matter what he had been telling himself, there was not a single thing that he could do to make your emotions go away. Little did you know that that wouldn’t sit well with him. Not. One. Bit. “You are wrong.” Chuuya would snap, letting go of your hand as he would pace back and forth his face complex with distress.

“Chuuya, no-“

“No, Y/N. I will not stand here and allow you to give up on yourself. We are going to fight this sickness head on. You are going to eat, I am going to make sure of it. We are going to be active, we’re going to get out and run and live. I am going to get you help, we’ll get you medicine or get you to a therapist if we have to. No longer am I going to let you sit here and be captive to your mind. From now on you are at MY mercy. And, Y/N, my dear, you aren’t going to like me. But you WILL thank me. Because I am going to get you through this.” You wouldn’t know what to say. You were terrified, relieved, angry, and overjoyed at the same time. Not once had someone ever taken you into consideration the way he was doing now. He loved you. He really, really loved you. “I swear to everything, Y/N, that if it is the last thing I do I will see that spark in your eye again. I promise you’ll be happy again.” Pulling you into his chest, he would hold on to you tight as you would bury yourself in the crook of his neck. Little did he know that the sparkle in your eyes, though very dim, were starting to make their return. And it was all thanks to him.

-

A/N: I know this is a little intense, but I like to write about things that are personal to me and I struggle tremendously with my mental health. Thank you for reading and I am very sorry if it was too much.

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 12: Curtain call (Part 6)

Warnings: none

Author notes: and this is the last part... I hope you liked the chapter...! Do tell me what you think about it in the comments...! I’ll take a moment to write the next chapter, then I’ll come back...!

"Eh? Not yet…?"

I felt disheartened when Dazai told me I was still unable to obtain my detective license.

It had been a couple of days since the case had ended. Sakunosuke-kun had gone back to his mother, who had immediately taken fate in her own hands. She was a brave woman and, despite how mentally weak she had been described to us, she had not dwelled too much on the past events, determined to give her son the best life possible. After thanking us for everything, she had left to a hotel, pending to find a proper home. Ever since, I had rested and taken care of a few minor cases with either Dazai or Kunikida. But I was still not a detective…

"There are things that need to be done before~ That's all I can tell you~" My friend answered as vaguely as ever.

"Thanks for your wonderfully useful advice." I rolled my eyes.

So, the entrance exam was not over… Even if the case was completed…

The Agency was unexpectedly calm in the afternoon, so I decided to go out and have a walk. I had bought a brand new computer for the Fox and wanted to deliver it to him myself. What kind of face would he make, I wondered… He would most certainly be surprised… Or shocked? Messing with him was terribly fun and I was terrified to realise I was getting used to it… Why, it was true that he had interesting reactions…

I had had the large package delivered to a shop near the abandoned building, so I would not have to carry it for too long. At this hour, he was either looking for clients in the old underground casino or working at his place. I tried my luck, without trying to be discreet, this time.

"Fox…!" I exclaimed upon seeing him.

He calmly turned towards me, and grinned, visibly happy.

"Ogawa…! You came back…! Well, I did see you on the surveillance cameras I installed after the panicked attack you gave me last time… But still, I'm glad to see you…!"

"I'm happy to know you enjoy my company so much." I chuckled "I also heard you set your bomber friend free?"

"Indeed." He confirmed "Thanks~ What's that thing you're carrying around by the way?"

"Oh that? It's for you. As an apology for the one I broke, and a thank you gift, too."

"I thought you had no more money…?" He accepted the present.

"I officially am ruined." I smirked "But, you know, I still have one or two offshore accounts from my days in the Port Mafia…~"

"Oh… I see. That's a valuable information you're giving me there~"

His eyes widened when he opened the package.

"Seriously…?!"

"... Is it not to your taste…?"

"You have to be kidding, that computer is…" He paused "It's awesome…! One of the best currently on the market…!"

"Well, I figured, since you'll work for me in the future, I need you to be more efficient than you are now." I declared, satisfied.

"So you officially got accepted into the Agency?"

"Not yet…" I sighed "There is still something left to be done, but I don't know what…"

"Only you can find that out. Except if you can read their mind…"

"That'd be cheating…"

"Didn't you already cheat to solve your case by coming to me?"

"That was… Another type of cheating." I crossed my arms.

"If you say so… Well, I hope for you that you'll get that job. I have something that might interest you about that, if you want, by the way."

"About the Agency…?"

"Its director. He has an ability which allows his subordinates to control theirs. Isn't that something you'd be after…?"

I looked down.

"It's true that, a week ago, I would have tried everything to get my hands on such an ability… Controlling The Sweet Appeals… That's something I've yearned for since… Since my birth, I guess. But if I don't meet the criteria to become a detective, I don't care anymore… I did my best, and I spent wonderful moments by their side… With that memory, I feel I don't even mind dying." I admitted.

"Is that so…?"

"Yes…! I think I am happy now, Fox. When you're happy, it doesn't matter whether you die or not."

"... Shouldn't it be the opposite…?"

"When you're miserable, you want to die, of course, but it'll leave a bitter taste when it's time to go… I know that feeling, I've experienced it, once. But when you're happy, you can leave without regrets. That's the most important to me." I smiled.

"I see… Well, I'm not here to discuss philosophy with you."

"I'm sorry, you were surely in the middle of an important work…"

"Obviously…! I finally found my neighbour's cat and I got another client… I was just talking to them when you came in."

"Oh, my apologies, then…! Please don't mind me, I'll leave…!"

"It's not a big deal." He snickered "Actually, that client wants to talk to you, too."

"Don't tell me…"

He turned on the screen of his computer. Sitting with his back turned towards us, Dazai was swinging on his chair, humming a song only he knew of.

"Dazai…" I groaned "I should have doubted it…"

"Oh, Ogawa…! Here you are, finally…!" He turned towards me.

"You heard everything?" I deduced.

"I, and, in fact, the entire Agency did."

I blushed, embarrassed. All these sweet and naive words… They had heard them…? What about my image of a stern young woman…?!

"Goddammit… You set me up…!"

"Kind of." He laughed "I asked the Fox a favour. We still needed to see what you would do with the information about Fukuzawa-san, after all. To see if you weren't going to threaten him, for example~"

"Who are you taking me for…?" I raised an eyebrow "Really, you…"

"Give me some space…" Yosano-sensei groaned, pushing Dazai aside to sit in front of the screen.

"Sensei…"

"That's me…! You remember our last talk?"

My heart thumped in my chest, painfully.

"Vividly…" I said.

"I understand. I'd like to discuss it with you again, if you'd like. I have something you may want…"

"I'm coming."

I immediately made my way back to the Armed Detective Agency, where the doctor was waiting for me. She offered me a drink in the cafe beneath the offices. I did not dare talk, afraid of what she would tell me. I had had to reflect on my relationship with my deceased mother and admit I had been loved… The only person I had talked to about this matter was Dazai, but that was because he knew the identity of the real murderer. I looked down, barely touching my black tea, as she took a look at a file. She pushed it in front of me.

"First of all, I want you to know that you really are your father's daughter."

I blinked at her.

"What…?"

"I had a paternity test done to see whether Taikin-san was your father or not. He had a suspicious behaviour, mostly regarding the picture you found..." She told me "The results are negative. I'm sorry, but you truly are an Ogawa…"

"It doesn't matter… Being a Taikin would have been as disgusting, anyway…" I mumbled "And they're all dead now..."

"So… What answer have you come up with?"

"Regarding my mother…?"

Her eyes were enough to answer me. I thought for a moment.

"Before I tell you, sensei… There is something you must know." I raised my eyes at her "The massacre I have told you about… I am the one who committed it. With my own hands, I murdered the ones who had given life to me, and spared my sister on purpose."

Her look was one of horror. I was expecting just as much. Sitting in front of a disgusting person like me, who had sinned and gone against the world itself by killing her parents. There was no redemption possible for a parricide like me. There was not even a chance, for no one would ever be willing to give it to me. No human on this Earth was able to smile and say I was forgiven.

"I thought so…" She simply sighed "Your behaviour… You were not appeased the least, as though you blamed yourself… I understand better why you reacted so strongly when I told you that your mother loved you… You felt guilty because, deeply, you already knew so… Am I right?"

"In fact… You can't be righter…" I chuckled bitterly "I killed someone I shouldn't have… But killing isn't like hurting; you can't go back on your deeds. So, indeed… My mother loved me, dearly, and, to thank her, I took her life. Am I not loathsome? Am I not someone you won't ever want to see again?"

I had not noticed that, as I was pronouncing these words, I had gradually stood up from my chair. I was oddly panting, distressed, and barely containing my tears. Yosano-sensei did not say a thing. Instead, she brought a hand to my head, and patted it gently. Why…?

"I am sure that, from where she is, she is happy that you finally understood her feelings, even if you cannot tell her directly anymore…"

I sat back, astonished. Did she not… Hate me…?

"I… Are you not… Grossed out, by me…?"

"Why would I be?" She put a reassuring hand on top of mine "I'd rather try and empathise, instead of judging you. You are Ogawa, don't let your past define you. I know the you now. Perhaps I would have detested the previous Ogawa, but I like the present you and it is all that matters to me. The only thing I wanted, truly, was for you to recognise your mother's love, not to be unfair to her… Had I known that the burden was this heavy, surely I would have asked you to take more time, but… You should know you don't have to live with that guilt forever."

Her opinion differed completely from Dazai's and mine. How could I not feel eternally guilty for an unrepairable crime…? Was it not my punishment for being so blind…? I asked her.

"It is true that guilt will haunt you, but…" Her face darkened a second "You'll learn to live with it. Your mother wouldn't have wanted you to carry that weight forever… Eventually, you will have to let go. You said you were happy… Please, look forward to tomorrow instead of remembering that terrible past. Let ghosts be what they are; ghosts. You can only move on…"

"So I… I should focus on what I should do next… Shouldn't I…?"

"That's exactly it. You're a detective of our Agency. Be proud of it, and don't lower your eyes."

"Well…" I attempted a poor joke "I'm not yet a detective…"

"That's because I forgot something…"

Hidden under the paternity test she had shown me earlier was an official card from the government. My name was written on it and it was signed by the director himself. My detective license…

"Yosano-sensei… Truly, I —"

Dizziness got the better of me without any apparent reason. The world turned around me and I fell from my chair, only to be caught before hitting the cold floor.

"A predicted reaction…~" Dazai's voice echoed in my ear.

"That weird sensation…" I muttered "As though I can actually… Control these voices… That's the directory ability, isn't it…?"

"Mmh… You worked well, Ogawa." He put a hand on my head "Just rest for now… Kunikida-kun will forgive you that much~"

"... I guess he will… Can I decide to… Sleep…?"

"You're in control now." He assured me, before adding, lower "You're really going to live, now…"

I closed my eyes. Yes, I would live, day after day. I had been reborn as a new person, as a detective. These years of torments were finally over…

A single tear rolled on my cheek as I lost consciousness.

[rose-wine-selfships]

💛 hi! can i request a male bsd matchup? i'm an asexual heteromantic, 5'6 with shoulder length black hair & dark brown eyes. i don't wear makeup, unless i need to. personality-wise, i come off as cold, and seem apathetic (although i am, at times). i can be quite the sadist hshja- i love pulling pranks on people :,) i tease & playfully flirt with my close friends a lot. dunno if these helps but i'm an intj-t/intp-t. it changes. 3w4. ravenclaw + slytherin. ♡ ( pt. 1! )

Hi there! I usually don’t do any matchups nowadays. But since this is a special matchup exchange I’m willing to do it for you! This matchup will be as detailed as possible, and I’ll even throw in another potential romantic partner for you as a prospect too. I hope you enjoy it! 👍🌹🍷✨

Out of a lot of people…I’d ship you with…

Osamu Dazai!

Dazai, I think, would be a perfect match for you since you and him share a whole lot in common. The way you carry yourself and how he presents himself would be a natural occurrence among you two. You two are very similar personality wise, and while this presents itself with its own unique challenges, this can also lead you two into understanding each other better. Not every relationship is perfect, but you two would really blend well together and highly complement each other to the highest degree. Here’s why:

Dazai would complement you by being the more outgoing and social partner of the two. I headcanon him as the type to love people with a snarky and blunt sense of humor. And you definitely have it! Dazai loves to honestly hang out with you by pranking and/or messing with other people in the ADA. Dazai loves that you have an edge to your personality, just like him. He’s over the moon from your flirty and sadistic tendencies, and is relieved that someone finally understands his sense of humor too.

You are also halfway in between a Ravenclaw and Slytherin. What this means is you are also an intellectual as well as an ambitious and cunning person. Your personality would go well with Dazai since he tends to have a similar way of thinking. He’s ambitious if given the right motivation to go after something. But also, if it’s not worth going after (like office paperwork), he will go off and do his own thing. Dazai would love going on horror movie binges with you as long as he can hug you tight. Dazai would be insightful enough to know when you need cuddling, and he’d high key lay the cuddles on you (with your permission of course)!

Dazai wouldn’t mind that you’re messy at times since he kinda has that problem too (someone get this man a broom lol)! Hence why Kunikida scolds the crap out of him for it. But you and Dazai can work on this problem together and maybe put away/throw away items that are unnecessary to your guys place. You guys can make it a game, and you’d sneak in kisses as a reward maybe? You two would be low key the most competitive game team ever, but you two would hide it so well. Dazai would be a little more patient than you if you lash out, but he’ll make sure that you also know where he stands in the relationship most of this time.

And when you need comfort the most, Dazai will assess the situation and comfort you the best way he possibly can. Despite his spontaneity, he’s also methodical and careful, so he’d be with you long enough in the relationship to know exactly what you need. If you can’t sleep, he’ll distract you by talking with you for hours, or even get your favorite beverage and just stay by your side. If you’re upset, he’ll not just stay by your side, but simply hold your hand/hug you if you need any physical reassurance too.

Even though Dazai can be outgoing at times, he also needs his time to himself. So he’d completely understand if you need to leave in any social situation. He’d have a cue system with you so he’d leave with you just in time. Dazai loves that you play the piano, violin, and guitar so well. He’d be asking you to play for him a lot since he loves how intense, focused, and passionate you’d be with playing these instruments.

Honestly, you two would complement each other so well and I can see your relationship develop into something more meaningful as each day passes by.

Another potential match would be: Ryunosuke Akutagawa!

Akutagawa would be another good match for you. Because honestly, he needs someone that would help him lighten up in situations. Your sense of humor will rub off on him and he’d have fun with you. The good news is that he shares your similar thought processes, and prefers to talk out things and be logical about it. The problem is, he tends to take things way too seriously and is often wound up. But that’s where you come in!

I headcanon him as an INTJ-T, hence why he’d understand you so well. I also headcanon him as asexual, so he’d be ok with doing basic intimacy. He’s not keen on too much physical intimacy, but he’d always be there for you when you need it most. He’s very big on honesty and loyalty since he didn’t get it much when he grew up in the slums of Yokohama. Hence why he’s so blunt and brutally honest at times.

You will have to tell him that you need cuddles here and there. He’ll be awkward about it at first, but he would eventually melt in the warmth of your arms. He’d frequently low key ask you for cuddles when he had a rough day in the Port Mafia. I think you two would be another really good couple of tbh.

Hope you have a good rest of your day! 👍

[teenitinygod]

Hello, Hello, this is the person who did the last submit. Thank you for the offer but I don’t have a discord account, Idon'thaveanyfriendswhouseittowarrantmakingone.

Although, if you liked my previous submit, I thought you might be interested in hearing me out when it comes to mischaracterization since I didn’t go into detail in my previous submit since that’s a whole rant of its own. I’ll be taking inspiration from neutinya’s haikyuu mischaracterization post but give it a BSD twist. My intention isn’t to call specific people out, I’m simply going off what I’ve seen within the fandom. Which in turn leads to diluting or mischaracterizing a character until they’re nearly unrecognizable or portraying them in a bad light that they don’t deserve. There may be a few tw instances, so you’re free to edit this post as you see fit and add any necessary warnings.

So to begin with. Let’s get the big one out of the way real quick.

- Dazai -

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen Dazai being portrayed as nothing more than a twofaced lying bastard, I wouldn’t have to work anymore. Most of these support it by saying that he doesn’t actually trust the ADA since he didn’t tell them about his past and doesn’t inform them of every little thing. Basically, they portray him as being 100% an act who doesn’t care about anyone. And then berate him by saying that they refuse to take his mental health seriously until he’s shown to have a breakdown.

I believe anyone who has suffered from depression or any other kind of mental health issue has felt the need to act happy all the time when in public and then quiet down when they’re alone. That doesn’t make them a fake. They are under no obligation to tell every single thing going across their mind to their friend and that same logic applies to Dazai.

Moreover, we also have to take into consideration Dazai’s past. He simply can’t afford to make himself vulnerable. There’s literally a list of people out for his head. Additionally, of he were to tell everything to the ADA, he would be potentially dragging his new friends into his own mess and put them in unwarranted danger. Sure, the ADA already deals with a lot of dangerous stuff but I doubt he would purposely put them in harms way because of what he would consider his own selfishness.

Now in the terms of romance. A lot of people just mark him as the one who could never be faithful. I believe a romantic relationship with Dazai would be completely trust based. Ergo, a “love at first sight” scenario would definitely lead to it becoming nothing more than a one-time fling. To go off your last Dazai scenario, I actually do believe that if Dazai felt like he was getting too attached to someone, he might try to push them away out of utter self-loathing that he could never give them what they want. Essentially, fearing a scenario like that in No Longer Human where Yozo got together with Yoshiko and she ended up getting raped because of his involvement with her.

Atsushi isn’t just a crybaby. He’s brave simply because of the fact that he’s willing to do his best despite his fear. Moreover, his initial fear of being seen as a burden to the ADA is completely valid when you take into consideration his past treatment. A lot treat him as dull and boring character and go on about preferring his Beast counterpart. It’s fine to have a preference but I don’t think this is a reason to hate on him since the point of Beast was to elaborate on how alike Atsushi and Akutagawa are by putting them in the other’s shoes. And we see in even Beast, Atsushi is just the ultimate good boy cinnamonroll.

In romance, I keep seeing him being forced to portray the badboy roll and being just terrible to whoever is his partner within the story. Do people really think that he would so much as even consider berating his partner after all he’s been through?

- Kunikida -

He isn’t just some emotionless asshole. He cares. He’s just doesn’t show it in the most conventional way some are used to. Perhaps this is because the anime caused confusion by changing the time setting of the Azure Disciple event— But within the novel you can tell that he cares for and eventually starts to think highly of Dazai as the story progresses. He doesn’t express it since Dazai would tease him to the ends of the earth. But there were moments like in the embassy in which he mentally admired how talented he was. Or how elaborated that his way of knowing when something was wrong with Dazai was when he starts acting “normal”. As the novel put it, basically, weird is normal for Dazai while normal is weird. So when Dazai starts acting “normal” that’s his way of knowing that something is up.

In terms of romance… I swear I want to fight someone. The majority of Kunikida content I find usually involves him be pedophilic by having this thing for schoolgirls or just has whoever is his partner constant cry at him that he doesn’t love them since he doesn’t show his affection the conventional way. Then, the story goes on about how the partner keeps trying to change them. For starters. There is nothing wrong with having the thought of an ideal partner. Most of have twisted the idea of him having an ideal partner as him having this list of physical traits he wants them to have or some crap like that. Do people really think he’s that shallow? Having an ideal partner just means that you know what you want in a partner. Like how they treat you, if they’re neat and polite, etc. Moreover, we’ve seen time and time again that despite what he says, Kunikida is still willing to bend a little. Obviously he will hold his ground if you berate his ideals. But it’s possible to change his mind if you respect his ideals and offer alternatives and are willing to work with him.

- Chuuya -

Look. I don’t care what you ship. But Chuuya is way more than just that one guy who is constantly yelling about Dazai. He has every right to be portrayed as his own character without the need to involve Dazai around the line.

He may be angry when Dazai is involved but he’s the nicest grump you’ll ever see towards everyone else. In the spin-off novel, there’s a scene where he talks to Tsujimura, for example. He still kept this badass aura but spoke to her with the dignity and presence of a respectable mafia executive. Moreover, I noticed this why checking. Kyouko really did make sure he drank his respect-women dose every day since I noticed he never actually curses at female characters. With the Tsujimura scene, for example, he kept his usual rude speech but didn’t start to actually curse until Ango was brought up. With the battle against Yosano, he never pulled the “oh, you’re just a woman” crap when they appeared.

In the terms of romance. I swear I feel the need to break someone’s nico-nico-kneecaps for the outrageous amount of fics I find with Chuuya straight up raping his partner. Like, the man didn’t even want to fight against his sheep friends when they literally and figuratively stabbed in him in the back. It’s hard for me to imagine him as someone who wouldn’t treat his partner with the utmost respect in the world.

- Higuchi -

People seriously need to stop hating on her just ‘cause she’s “getting in the way of ships.” The gal clearly cares about Akutagawa and I don’t think it’s fair to hate on her just because of that. On that note, the whole idea of hating on female characters under the pretext of them getting in the way of ships seriously needs to stop. The fact that a female character cares for a guy, be it romantically or not, isn’t an excuse to antagonize them and treat them as an eyesore. She’s funny, she’s goofy, She’s just an ordinary lady who might be momentarily blinded by affection and get carried away. Which surely must happen to anyone who has experienced some kind of crush.

In the terms of romance. I haven’t read much fics with Higuchi as the main love interest. However, I have seen the AkutawagaxSomeoneElse types who just blatantly portray Higuchi as this terrible and wicked woman who is trying to ruin Akutagawa’s partner’s life. Sure, Higuchi may be heartbroken that she couldn’t be the chosen one but I doubt she would stoop as low as to ruin Akutagawa’s potential happiness. The most she would do is perhaps investigate if they’re a spy who intends to harm or use him.

- Yosano -

She’s a strong independent woman, enough said. I feel like a lot of people interpret her dislike for weak men as her either disliking physically weak men or disliking men altogether. Naturally, a strong woman would want and deserve someone who is equally as badass as them. So what I interpret her saying when she says she dislikes weak men is that she dislikes mentally weak men who bend over backwards easily and men who are so petty that they feel the need to look down on women just because of the fact that they’re a woman. The anime did her dirty by sexualizing her during her first introduction. We all know that one scene where she strips off her shirt before treating Tanizaki. Heck, I remember when I first saw that scene without knowing much about BSD I legit thought her healing ability involved her having sex with the guys. It was only until I read the manga some time later that I realized that wasn’t the case.

In the terms of romance. Again, she has every right to have someone as strong as herself. A badass would want someone who is just as badass standing as their partner. Moreover, I haven’t seen it to the degree as Higuchi’s case but I have seen the occasional hate on her under the pretext that she’s getting in the way of ships. To which I say again: We seriously need to stop antagonizing female characters who so much as exist in the same panel as a male character that’s involved in a popular fandom ship.

——–

Well then. Those were the most prominent ones that came to mind, so I surely left out some characters who have been mischaracterized just as badly.

Thank you for your time.

Ok quickly, our discord (dazai simps) is open to having you. We love new friends and meeting people, so an open invite is available.  i couldn’t agree with you more- i hate how Dazai is portrayed sometimes, his emotions are complex and he’s not as simple as an angsty suicidal flirt. Especially went the reader comes into the picture and it turns into a “love at first sight” thing. They may be fictional characters but i care that the characters i write for are as close to accurate as i can

I’ll go deeper into this later but i agree

Also I love when you send me these, i love reading them and you’re so sweet <3

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Watches Anime (Oct 26)

Recently Completed!

Tokyo Godfathers

Score: 10/10

There’s a reason why I gave this such a rare high rating. When I was watching it, I was internally like, “*excitement noises* I have not been this excited over an anime in such a long time, let alone for an anime movie. EVERYONE SHUT UP SO I CAN WATCH THIS EVEN IF I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY’RE SAYING.”

It’s not often that you come across really good movies, let alone masterpieces like this movie. The art is so good, the story made me feel like it was Christmas in October, and the characters really made me connect. 

I know the subtitles used a whole lot of gay slurs and things like that, but Hana (the trans character in this tale) is treated well if we get past that huge hurdle. She truly owns up to herself. She doesn’t care what she’s called. She gets mad at people who misgender her. She gets mad if she’s forced to go to a men’s facility. She wants people to call her “an old hag” rather than “an old coot”. She just wants to be a mother even if she isn’t “biologically a woman” who can bear children. So when she comes across this kid, she thinks, “I will finally be a mother!” These are issues that real people face. These are issues that cisgendered people take for granted.

Madhouse really knocked it out of the park. Satoshi Kon is one of the biggest creators and directors in anime history. He’s known for horror and psychological works like Perfect Blue, Paprika, and Millennium Actress. I never expected him to be this good at making a movie that could move my soul like this. The characters were so far from perfect, yet I wanted the best for each of them. The way it handled everything was masterful. The dialogue worked so well and was witty, the voice actors (despite the main three not being in anything else for the most part) were so good at giving life to their characters, and the art blew me away in 2019 even though this was released in 2003. The only thing I didn’t quite like as much was the score during some parts of the movie, but it was subjectively good and just wasn’t to my taste (the Noragami soundtrack wasn’t a fav of mine either). 

Just... watch the movie. If you can watch it around Christmas. It’s good for you.

Saiunkoku Monogatari

Score: 7.4/10 

Yes, I binge-watched all 39 episodes in two days, what’s it to ya?! In reality, I just boosted the speed of the video.

Me throughout this show: Why do you all have triangle heads? What’s with that?

Okay, it’s the art style, and a lot of shoujo anime go with the concept that it looks good. Once you get over the art hurdle making me believe this was created in the early 2000s despite it being 3 years younger than Tokyo Godfathers, this turns out to be a really nice show. I just can’t believe they’re BOTH from Madhouse. 

Remember Snow White with the Red Hair? Remember Akatsuki no Yona? If you liked those shows, you’re going to like this one... except it relies more on the political plot. It’s mostly about a woman wanting to pursue her dreams of being a politician in a male-dominated world. She’s entasked with helping this mess of a king to get his act together, and as much as I can try to prove that it’s surprisingly progressive (given the art and genre), I think that’d be spoiling it a little. The only character that actually bothered me was the prince who was voiced by Tomokazu Seki who honestly was a bit annoying and sounded so fake for me. However, this anime made me appreciate Hikaru Midorikawa’s voice as well as Houko Kuwashima who I’ve only heard voicing dead moms and only a few good characters here and there. Seriously, both of their voices are great. Toshiyuki Morikawa sounds good too, but we already knew that. I don’t like the OP or ED (or a whole lot of the music), but that’s the case for a lot of these 2005-era anime. Just like a lot of the anime on MAL, I do think this is an underrated show, but it does have its pitfalls if you’re just craving for a quick shoujo without any politics.

Full Metal Panic: Second Raid

Score: 7/10

I binge-watched this entire season while my parents were out for dinner and something else. It only took me a couple of hours because I boosted the speed.

I wanted to get a gif specifically from this season, so this one will have to do. So much wasted potential will this character (who’s one of two twins). I know they were trying to play the whole “twincest” thing, but I’m personally not a fan. They provided some cool fight scenes even at a certain cringe cost. The fact that Kyoto Animation animated this bumped the art from a 3 to an 8. It’s crazy how much the quality jumped after a new studio took over. Unfortunately, they didn’t take care of the next season. I know the main ship in the series is pretty clear, but this season made it closer to canon (too bad it took around 13 years to make the next season).

Kara no Kyoukai (movies: 5, 6, 7)

Score:  Part Five: 7.5/10 Part Six: 5.8/10 Part Seven: 8.2/10

Not gonna lie, I watched the first four movies over a year ago and retained nothing. I had to read the Wikia to assist me and to begin with, I watched this to get into the “Type-Moon” universe (which consists of this and the Fate nonsense stuff), Yuki Kajiura’s score, and Maaya Sakamoto and Kenichi Suzumura voicing a couple. The score would probably change if I’d watched them regularly, but I digress because I watched movies 5-7 in one afternoon. Ufotable was pretty good at animating this and the voice acting worked really well. Yuki Kajiura’s music didn’t hit well at first when I was first watching the first few movies over a year ago because it wasn’t what I envisioned the score being, but once you get into the mood and mindset, it adds so much to the story. Although, I still really didn’t like part six. I thought it was a complete flop because I just want to get rid of anyone who believes i*cest is an okay thing. This isn’t Alabama. Go home. Not else to say here because this took so much commitment that I doubt anyone would watch it.

Paranoia Agent

Score: 8.6/10

With spoopy month coming to a close (already?!) I watched this anime earlier this month, but I forgot to write about it. That’s partly because there’s so much to unpack here. This was a thriller, psychological, horror anime by Satoshi Kon. That’s right, the first anime above was also done with him in the director’s seat. This anime was smart. There’s a reason why Robin Williams likes it! It was scary in the best of ways. It revealed a part of society that we see all the time but don’t talk about (especially in Japanese society where emotions are better kept concealed). Just the opening alone made me feel uneasy. The OP and ED were simplistic yet worked. I binge-watched the whole series because it was that gripping. 

It was a little confusing at times, but that’s also because that’s just a common thing with horror anime. That suspense keeps us going. It keeps us on the edge of our seats. Who’s going to be the next victim of Shounen Bat? Episode 8 came out of nowhere for me, and I liked it. There were several scenes that sent shivers down my spine in the best way possible. It isn’t always “scary”, but it gives suspense.

Aoi Bungaku

This one is going to be reviewed a little differently. Since it has specific arcs, I’m going to review them as such!

Ningen Shikkaku: 8.2/10

We start off with a bang. Osamu Dazai was a man of suffering. This story really shows that. In this story, we see a man who’s desperate to know what makes him human. We see this through the eyes of a fictional character, but I personally view this as a semi-autobiography.

The art was chilling. The voice acting from Masato Sakai was surprisingly good. A lot of the time, voice acting from live-action actors just aren’t that great. Every time you think this character will get back on his feet, he falls deeper and deeper. It truly did make me wonder what made me human.

Sakura no Mori no Mankai no Shita: 3.9/10

That moment when the only thing that saves this arc is Nana Mizuki’s singing. Seriously, her jazz songs were awesome. Can’t say that about the rest. I mean, the art is good, but it’s Madhouse so most of their stuff is already good. The story wasn’t that original. Mind you, this was probably during a period where foreign influence was strong, and I haven’t read the original story, but... this is basically Salome (the opera) with some differences. Both have a crazy woman with a fixation over lifeless decapitated heads. Both have men that are captivated with her beauty so they give her what she wants because of that reason alone, they both murder religious people (monk/shrine maiden and a prophet), and both eventually realize that women can be crazy when they demand a lifeless head because you know, that’s just a red flag. Above all, it suffers from tonal shifts. You can’t have a woman turning moe then demand you bring her another head to play with. You can’t have Masato Sakai playing another main character that doesn’t fit him! Seriously, he doesn’t have the voice of a brute and just couldn’t do it. Overall, this arc was a mess, and I’m glad it was one of the shorter ones.

Kokoro: 7.6/10

This looked like a masterpiece compared to the last arc. I haven’t read Kokoro, but this made me go, “Huh, I don’t remember this happening.” That’s because they chose a certain part of the book (near the end apparently) and just went off that and created its own anime-original episode. Despite that, it was pretty good! There were some screaming discrepancies which did hurt its impression (because it made it feel out of place to the point where even I, as an uneducated anime viewer, could clearly see).

(I think this is from Kokoro but I might be wrong)

Hashire, Melos!: 8.9/10

Would you look at that? It’s the best arc of the series. Hashire, Melos was great. It had me going from beginning to end, and it’s the only arc that doesn’t have Masato Sakai playing the lead character. The art, the pacing, the storytelling, the story, the sound, the voice acting, and the art direction complemented each other so well. It made me far more interested in the original. 

The Spider’s Thread: 6.6/10

If you look really close, you’ll notice that the creator of Bleach took over character design for this! It was okay. I found that it was a little cliche and lacklustre. Mamo is around so much that you probably have to do more than that to keep my attention, and this had the art going for it too. It just wasn’t that interesting. A heartless murderer is sent to hell after being executed. Moral of the story: Don’t be an asshole. Alright. Nice. I do understand that Ryuunosuke Akutagawa was one of the main establishers of the whole “Japanese Short Story” thing, but after seeing it so many times, I just didn’t get that same chill.

Hell Screen: 6.9/10 

Another Akutagawa short story! This one had far more of an impact because this one hit closer to Akutagawa’s heart. Knowing the history of this piece of writing, you can see his desperation to stay relevant and true to his craft. It’s about a painter who wants to paint the town but finds out the city isn’t the bright light he sees in his mind. Everything goes ablaze. The art for this is stunning. I probably would’ve enjoyed this story more if it was placed in the middle of the series run rather than being the last story. 

Recently Started

Africa no Salaryman

The animation for this is terrible. There is no way around it. However, at least it’s funny. Still, close to being on the chopping block. It has the papa lion who’s played by Akio Ohtsuka, the straight-man middle lizard played by Kenjirou Tsuda, and the scumbag toucan played by Hiro Shimono. Yes, they all play Hero Academia villains. The jokes are pretty good for me.

Given

Oh, would you look at that? It’s a music anime. *inhales* Music anime is a double-edged sword for me. I like having music interpreted and portrayed through one of my favourite mediums, but I don’t like them playing off music as some sort of easy gimmick and a joke. It’s like a shonen montage. “Let’s just have this guy train for two minutes and become a demigod”. But when you put an instrument into someone’s hand and demand the same, it sends me to another plane of angriness.  So far, the romance is kind of cute... but Mafuyu kind of annoys me since his role in the BL dynamic is so clear just by his voice. Same with Uchida. You can only play so many thugs a season. Kyou? Good. Chika? Good. This guy? Good, but don’t do them all back-to-back! I don’t like the BL dynamic being so basic. However, my mind can be changed if done right.

Shinsekai Yori

Very interesting premise, their eyes are cute, and I’m a sucker for these so I’m gonna stick with it.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Oh, I didn’t realize you watched Bungou Stray Dogs! I just finished it the other day. Sorry if you answered this before, but why don’t you like Dazai? Also do you ship anything? I personally like Dazai/Atsushi and Atsushi/Akutagawa, but just curious about yours because I really like your take on ship dynamics.

Akuatsu, Akuatsu, AKUATSU 100%! I mean, I’m okay with Soukoku, I really shiped them after s2, but now I just don’t care because I honestly don’t see any progress or caring there (I thought they were the perfect combination, but actually their powers are the perfect combination, not them lol). As I said before I personally think that Dazai was the most human/warm with Oda and I seriously don’t get why he picked that dude as an object of his affections, but whatever. If he doesn’t need us we don’t need him lol

Why do I love akuatsu? They went from mortal enemies to risking their lives for each other; rashomon loving atsushi is the sweetest thing ever (and when you think that it’s really a part of akutagawa it’s even cuter); they gave each other an out from their painful pasts absolutely accidentally (isn’t that a soulmates thing?); they’re literally the ying and yang (I really love how even their clothes represents it and all the dark within the light and light within the dark thing); their bickering officially became “a married couple” kind; I think the “lawnmower” is the cutest nickname; but I seriously love their relationship progression, and they’ve made each other so much better (Atsushi got much more character when he’s with Akutagawa, while Akutagawa learns all these new emotions with Atsushi and now look what a cinnamon roll he became in s3, I cried). I love so so much about them.

As for Dazai, well.. he is one of those anime characters type, who enjoys manipulating people and thinks of them as his marionettes. And I never really found this attractive. Sometimes they give those types some backstory, like how they got this way... to at least like make ppl.. understand them more? And I personally don’t think there can be any justification for behaving like this with ppl who cares about you, but at least it’s something.

But as I mentioned before, the bad thing about BSD is that is has too many characters, but no one even cares to write them. Akutagawa is literally the only one who has a great character progression and walks the right direction, others are just complete fucking mess: Atsushi at least given a full backstory but he’s walking circles every season from accepting his ability to suddenly again not accepting it; we did have a glimpse of Chuuya’s past, but then he’s suddenly dumb as fuck for the rest of the season, which I didn’t think was the case in s2; others are just dark forest seriously with “very very dark pasts” that no one knows about. And I can’t quite care for someone I don’t know anything about.

Also I’m just so fucking in love with characters who stay great human beings even with a horrifying pasts. Because I find those super incredible. Like Levi and Kanda had fucking awful pasts, but man, they’re such good human beings, even though they pretend like they hate everyone which they’re very bad at xD they’re just such kittens.

I guess it just depends on how much inner strength you got. Bc Wei Wuxian could never become like Meng Yao and do things like using good ppl for his gain, even though society also treated him like absolute garbage. He could’ve become an asshole after everything he’s been through and how much he’s lost, but he was strong enough to stay the most amazing human on earth.

I have lots of other examples. But I understand that it’d be weird if every character had a character to stay that way. And sadly it what mostly happens to ppl under such circumstances. And would BSD be some well written dramatic realism I’d watch it differently, but it’s not that deep you know. 

So either way I can’t like Dazai. Because there are ppl who are trying to be good there and he disses them. I don’t really think that they could’ve shown me anything that would justify such behavior, but I mean if they at least showed something I guess I’d at least pity him and let it go. Is he genius? Yes. Is he a good human being? No.

I guess maybe I was just spoiled with so many great characters, but I don’t find him no interesting, no relatable, no charismatic or worth sticking around for, he’s also very selfish and the way he treats Akutagawa and Chuuya makes me very mad (and no, enjoying watching Chuuya destroying his brain is not funny for me). But at least he’s a hardcore Akuatsu fan, so we can agree with him on something haha.

p.s. I actually thought I’ve posted a lot about akuatsu, but maybe not, I need to fix it :D

[mamichigo]

Hello! For the prompts, could you please write 19 for Dazatsu? Thank you so much!

19: What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

I don’t think it gets to the point of being an actual fight, but I do believe that the more they share a space, more frequently their different habits would clash. Dazai is canonically shown to be quite a slob, while Atsushi seems to be a neat, organized person from what we see of his place. Dazai often forgets to do simple chores (executive dysfunction will do that to you), and while that in itself isn’t much of an issue, Dazai’s blase attitude is, and it doesn’t go well with the temper that Atsushi has in some occasions. They’ll eventually learn how to work around that issue, but for now they have small disagreements that get solved in like, two seconds

*

“Dazai-san, if you’re spending the night here, you could at least not make a mess of my room!” Atsushi says as he stomps his way to the couch, where Dazai is peacefully dozing off.

His irritated voice is enough to rouse Dazai, who blinks himself awake. His eyebrows shoot up in question, already full alert despite having just woken up.

“Your room?” Dazai asks through a yawn.

“Yes, my room. The one you said last night you’d clean off in the morning?” Atsushi reminded him, trying not to sound too overtly angry. He had came back from a trip to the grocery store only to find his room even messier than it had been before, now with the addition of food crumbs all over the still untidy futon.

“Ohhh, that!” Dazai nodded. “Right.”

“So?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” Dazai explained simply, shrugging.

“You forgot?” Atsushi repeated, incredulous. “How do you even forget that, Dazai-san, you woke up in that room!”

“Well, yeah.” Dazai sat up to properly face Atsushi, but he still looked pretty relaxed despite Atsushi’s bad mood. “You see, I meant to get it done, but then I got distracted. So I forgot.”

Atsushi’s frown only got worse. “It was the one thing I asked you to do! I even reminded you again this morning!”

Dazai shrugged again. The nonchalant attitude was starting to get on Atsushi’s nerves, so he turned on his back and headed to the kitchen, deciding to put the groceries away like he meant to do in the first place. He doesn’t doubt Dazai hears the way he slams a can on the counter a little too forcefully.

“Atsushi-kun, with your strength, you’ll end up breaking those,” Dazai helpfully interjected.

“At least I’m doing it what I’m supposed to,” Atsushi threw back.

There was a sigh, then the thud of feet meeting the floor. When Atsushi turns towards the noise, he sees Dazai approaching in unhurried steps.

“Aren’t you getting too worked up over such a little thing, Atsushi-kun?”

“And you aren’t taking it seriously enough!” Atsushi said, voice raising almost in a yell.

Both of them pause, Atsushi himself freezing completely. His shoulders tense and he looks away, hunching into himself to make himself smaller. The anger is still hot in his gut, but it sizzles, slowly dying away to give space for the rising shame.

“I'm— I’m sorry,” he says tightly. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Atsushi-kun,” Dazai interrupted. “Come here.”

Atsushi chances a glance at Dazai’s face, only to find him smiling, arms open expectantly. When Atsushi doesn’t move, he makes a beckoning motion with his fingers, wiggling his eyebrows so fast that Atsushi can’t hold back an exasperated huff of laughter.

Fight seeping out of him, Atsushi accepts the invitation, falling into Dazai’s hold almost gingerly. Dazai, however, envelops him in his arms without a single shred of hesitation. Atsushi lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and presses his face to Dazai’s chest.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he says, muffled.

Laughing, Dazai runs his fingers through Atsushi’s hair comfortingly. “I’m pretty sure I am to blame too, so it’s fine.”

Atsushi shook his head. “I know you sincerely have trouble remembering to do chores like that, it was stupid of me to get so angry over it.”

“But you asked me to do it, of course it would be upsetting when someone doesn’t listen to a simple request.” Dazai rested his cheek on the top of Atsushi’s hair, then affectionately rubbed it on the soft strands. “It isn’t stupid, it’s okay to get angry. And I’m sorry, for not taking you seriously.”

“It’s okay,” Atsushi breathed out.

“Now, come on, I’ll help you put the groceries away.”

Atsushi looked up at Dazai. “And afterwards you help me with my room?”

Dazai smiled and pressed a kiss to Atsushi’s cheek. “Of course.”

[hnnnfdfds]

can we know what the au is about? :0 love your blog btw!!!

Ofc!!!!! I’m just in the middle of making it so I might as well put my notes together on here!

Also thanks for loving this blog! I’m sorry it’s so inactive! Or was, I’m using this as a chance to say that I’m probs gonna write for BSD again fddjshfkjsd

-

I mean, this probably has been used already, to be honest? It’s not that new of an au...

But Atsushi can see ghosts is the setting And seeing ghosts as kid changes his whole outlook on life. He’s still a cinnamon bean but people like Dazai make sense to him. Which to be honest, it probably explains everything about how his mind works fdgdf.

So, I was thinking if I should add it as like, a very, very far-fetched power of his current ability. Like, I don’t know, he can see better with his tiger powers to the point he can see beyond the living. Or if I should erase his current power in the au and just give him a completely new one with the main ability to see ghosts.

Well, abilities put aside for the moment, the plot would change drastically, so Atsushi wouldn’t meet Dazai and join the agency immediately.  Instead, kind of like in the flower shop!au I wrote, he’d just be on his own for the moment? And you know, encounter the main cast, see ghosts, and probably cause problems to both the agency and the mafia or something. Or help them out! Both organizations! What a wonderful mess!

His personality would also be quite different. Hmm, more knowing ofc. He basically can ask ghosts for secrets. He knows stuff. Too much stuff.

Quieter, like Natsume from Natsume’s Book of Friends, I’d say. In that direction! That’s where I’d be going with it. I want to say he’d use those powers to create a shocking moment for idk Dazai, being all like, “I see your dead friend, Oda.”

SDKFJHSDKF BUT NOPE IM NOT GOING THERE 

He won’t tell them shit. He legit just won’t. He won’t help the ghosts. Maybe once in a while. Maybe, but usually, they curse his name as he won’t talk to their living family members for them. No, it’s not because he’s an asshole or doesn’t want to help them.

It’s just, living people are scary, okay? He once worked in retail and got screamed at. After that, he stopped even trying to talk to most people.

The only ones he actually tries with are Dazai, Akutagawa and Chuuya? Why?

Akutagawa: Rashomon. That’s why. He thinks Rashomon is cute. Aku is confused af by that.

Chuuya: Ok, this is also far-fetched, and maybe he can’t see Arahabaki but he def can feel that something is up with Chuuya, maybe see a shadow looming over him or sth like that. And whatever that is, likes sweets. So, Atsushi just offers it lollies or sth every time he sees Chuuya. Chuuya, of course, takes those lollies and has no idea wtf is going on.

Dazai: Seriously, it’s the dude’s presence. That’s all.

So, yeah, this au is a dumbass mess and probs unoriginal af but I already love it. 

[goddamnitdazai]

Hi. Can you write some headcanon with chuuya and his teenage daughter? And Dazai and his teenage son? (I’m really sorry for my english.)

your english is fine! ahh i haven’t written them in their dad aus for awhile. this may have gotten away from me oops

[ Chuuya ] {In my Dad AU for Chuuya his daughter is named Airi and what??  I have never thought about her entire personality or created a whole relationship??} • The first words out of his mouth when she comes flouncing out of her room in a skirt way too short are “Hell-fucking-no”. Chuuya has a very hard time letting his daughter grow into a woman even though he’s groomed her to be perfectly capable and independent, the thought of her having sex makes his skin crawl. Rather than argue with his daughter he offers to take her shopping for clothes that they both agree on; and he’s not stupid enough to fall for the change-of-clothes-underneath trick either. • Even if his daughter isn’t exactly the most athletic girl out there Chuuya makes martial arts or some kind of self-defense knowledge a rigid part of her life. He doesn’t expect perfection or for her to even enjoy it, but he’ll be damned if he lets his daughter go into the world without knowing how to defend herself or kick some poor sucker’s ass if they deserve it. • Having a close relationship with his daughter is extremely important to Chuuya. While he understands certain topics are left for you two only, he has always kept his mind open (even if he’s boiling on the inside) if Airi wanted to discuss something--specifically mistakes or things she feels she’s fucked up in her personal life. Chuuya has become a beacon of understanding and advice for her as she grows older and he’s never sugar coated anything with her--and he expects honesty from her as well. • Chuuya has never been completely transparent about his work. As she got older he was more comfortable telling her his big executive job was actually with the Port Mafia, but because they’ve treated his little family as an extended version of their own Airi wasn’t too affected by it. He does, however, insist she go to school and find a career she’s passionate about it. As hypocritical as it is seem he doesn’t want Airi to become a member of the Port Mafia. • Letting his daughter go on dates is hard enough but he tries to let her make her own decisions. He will let her know what she thinks of the person the moment she comes home, and if he gets bad vibes off the bat he cuts it off before they even leave for their date. Unfortunately for Chuuya Airi inherited his temper and they both end up blowing up on each other and slam the doors simultaneously (Chuuya tends to break doors where as Airi screams into her pillow). • Lord help the poor soul who ever sends a nude to Airi’s phone. If he catches it on accident while her phone is lying face up on the counter during breakfast Chuuya takes a picture of his gun as a response signed ‘Daddy’. No other context. • No matter how old she gets Chuuya always insists on going to dinner at a nice restaurant once a week just the two of them. He expects Airi to dress formally (which she does and loves) and he dresses in one of his best suits with a tie she picked out for him when she was ten. Splurging on his daughter is one of Chuuya’s weaknesses especially if he’s been working longer hours or she’s been out of the house doing her own thing for the majority of the week. He lets her have a single glass of wine (the most expensive kind) during dinner, but usually ends up getting a bit tipsy and has Airi drive home. She doesn’t mind though, she loves his expensive car and uses any excuse to drive it around the city. [ Dazai ] {Misaki is his only son in his Dad au}• On his 17th birthday Dazai gave him a box of condoms and proclaimed he doesn’t want to become a grandfather for a very very long time. He did this in front of all of Misaki’s friends--but they’ve been used to Dazai’s embarrassing antics. Nobody was surprised. He did buy them a keg for the party and hid all their keys away so they were forced to stay the night instead of trying to drive home drunk. The next morning Dazai instructed Misaki to clean up the mess because until he got married he would probably be cleaning up beer cans in his own apartment for awhile. • Dazai had never taken true mentoring seriously until he had a son of his own. Raising daughters was one type of bond, but having a son was a completely separate entity on its own. Rather than let Misaki make his own mistakes Dazai ended up flinging the opposite direction and for awhile was a bit too over-protective. He had to teach himself to ease back and let Misaki learn through his own experiences which led to their relationship changing when he was hitting his teenage years. Dazai stopped snooping through his things, but he still never let him get away with a lie--Misaki was always confronted when he broke house rules; and still is.• School wasn’t exactly something Dazai forced into Misaki’s head. Education yes; but traditional schooling was a hit or miss. When Misaki was losing interest Dazai would attack the situation from a different perspective. Unlike Mori who forced Dazai to study intensely as a child, Dazai found other routes to teach Misaki to use his intelligence rather than be bored by it. His older sister was gifted with Dazai’s intelligence and when Misaki started showing signs early on Dazai kept his plan in the back of his mind if, as he predicted, Misaki would grow bored in school like his sister. • Dazai fell into the habit of challenging his son, a bit in the way he did with Akutagawa just in the correct way. Misaki was not the type to challenge himself (much like Dazai never did, what was the point?) and so Dazai began doing it himself. From mild conversation to Misaki trying to give up on soccer because he was not the best player from the start, Dazai and Misaki developed a repertoire of a “watch me kick your ass” dynamic when Misaki hit fifteen. It may not be the most traditional way of pushing children to strive to be better, but sharing a similar mindset helped Dazai do it correctly without creating a need for praise and acknowledgement in Misaki’s psyche. • Even though Misaki is nearly an adult Dazai still revels in the act of embarrassing the ever living shit out of him. Dropping him off on the first day of school in a cat costume, screaming from the car that he forgot his lunch (Dazai drew hearts all over it), and coming to school functions like a soccer game wearing knee high socks and sandals. Has dad jokes for days and tells them at the parties Misaki throws when he thinks you’re both going to be gone for the night. Dazai will show up in a big stained t-shirt, jean shorts and a green golf visor and ask where the keg is. • Misaki has brought home a few girls who were getting a bit too friendly with Dazai--and he did not let it go quietly. Not only was he annoyed that they would even attempt to get in his pants, but the fact they used his son to get there was a big ‘oh fuck no’ moment. He loudly rattled off all their insecurities one by one until they ran out of the door crying. He did this while his son was in the bathroom and then told Misaki he asked them to leave because they weren’t good enough for him. To Dazai the week of a cold shoulder is worth it over letting his son be hurt by someone else’s dishonesty.• Dazai reminds Misaki almost daily to routinely check his balls and chest. He’s like a walking PSA for testicular and breast cancer. “You don’t have to be a lady to get breast cancer, rub your boobs in the shower~” he sings while Misaki is trying to wash his damn hair.

[lookslikerainydays]

Can you do 51 for soukoku please?

51. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”

send me a number and a ship.

“Yuu seemedslightly unwell. I told him to rest today and to take a muffler if they’replaying outside again. I hope he won’t get sick though, I don’t need any sickkids right now on top of all the work I’ve got to finish—are you evenlistening?”

“Yeah, yeah.Sick kids, very sad.”

“Dazai.”

“Hmm?”

“Are youjealous?”

Dazai scoffsand immediately averts his gaze as he turns to face Odasaku, “What are youtalking about?”

“I’m talkingabout the way you look ready to murder that guy talking to Chuuya.” Odasaku’ssmirk has Dazai sighing.

“That’s whatyou got wrong. He’s not talking to him, he’s flirting and yet Chuuya can’t evennotice it.”

Odasaku looksback at Chuuya and his subordinate talking and hums, “He’s just being friendly.I wouldn’t say flirting.”

“Too friendly.”Dazai adds and it has Odasaku glancing back at him.

“Too jealous?”Dazai sighs at Odasaku’s word and shakes his head and Odasaku shrugs, “There’snothing wrong with being jealous when someone starts flirting with the personyou love. But Chuuya loves you, he wouldn’t do anything with anyone. Plus, ifthat guy knew about you two, he wouldn’t even think about flirting with Chuuya.Flirting with Chuuya means getting killed by you—”

Odasaku’sinterrupted by Chuuya’s chuckles and the other man smiling brightly at whathe’s accomplished. Chuuya’s smile lingers as the man continues speaking andDazai glares at the way the man seems to be closer now to Chuuya and how canChuuya be oblivious to all of this?

“If you’regoing to stare at him like that, isn’t it better if you go and talk to Chuuyaor something so he can finally be away from the guy and you’ll stop beingjealous?”

Dazai tsks atOdasaku’s suggestion, “I’m not jealous.”

Odasaku keepshis gaze fixed on Dazai and Dazai remains quiet but he knows it won’t last forlong. He knows him too well and he knows Odasaku has his way and won’t relentuntil Dazai says it out loud. And Dazai can’t stop himself from revealing it; afterall Odasaku’s the only one with an answer to all his questions.

“Just a little.”Dazai admits quietly and Odasaku hums, “It’s only because Chuuya and I aretogether and this guy is flirting with him.” Dazai bites his tongue fromblurring out even more, not ready to reveal everything all at once and Odasakudefinitely senses it with the way he nods his head quietly.

He’ll probablyblurt it out another day anyway.

~~

“I told himlast night he’s too friendly to everyone and someone might get the wrong idea andhe told me I only feel like that because I’m an asshole.”

“Such sweetyoung love.” Odasaku takes a sip of his drink and Dazai swirls his glassgently.

“That guy wasflirting with him again today. I ended up interrupting that before it got toomuch.” Dazai explains and Odasaku places his glass down.

“How did thatgo?”

Dazai takes asip and place his glass down, “I told him something about his hat and we werearguing like usual. The guy just stared for a while before realising I’ve gotChuuya’s attention and left.”

“That’s good.He left and you didn’t kill him.”

“How’s that good?Killing him would have been better.” Dazai pauses before mumbling, “Plus, heleft probably thinking he’ll come back another time.”

Odasaku glancesat him from the corner of his eyes and Dazai meets his eyes briefly beforelooking down at his glass. He knows there’s more for him to say but Dazai can’tseem to blurt it out just yet. He clears his throat and decides to change thesubject all together.

“How’s Yuutoday?”

Odasaku perksup at the mention of Yuu but has a small smile on display, “Last night he’dbeen fine. Except today morning he threw up all over me and he hates hismedications and I’m not there all the time with them, so I have no idea if he’staking them or not.”

“Will you go checkon him now?” Dazai asks and Odasaku shakes his head.

“No, it’s toolate he’s probably asleep now. I’ll drop by sometime tomorrow.” Odasakuexplains and Dazai nods his head.

“Maybe I’ll come along too.”

~~

“I still don’tunderstand why you want to come along.”

“I haven’t seenthem in a while.”

Dazai followsOdasaku’s steps as they make their way to his kids’ room and they stop by theroom where the distinct sound of tiny high-pitched voices arguing can be heard.Odasaku takes in a deep breath, seemingly preparing himself for what awaits himahead, before opening the door. The kids quiet down for a second when the dooris pushed open and their eyes fall on Odasaku and Dazai.

“Alright,what’s going on? Who’s arguing with who?” Odasaku asks quietly and carefullyand Sakura’s eyes widen.

“He hid mydoll!” Sakura points out towards Katsumi and Katsumi shakes his head.

“I didn’t hideyour doll! Why do you need a talking doll anyway? It’s too loud, it’s better we can’t find it!” Katsumiargues and Odasaku glances at him which has Katsumi sighing, “I don’t like thatdoll!”

A tiny figuremakes his way towards Odasaku and Dazai recognises him as Yuu. He pulls onOdasaku’s hand gently and Dazai notices how quiet the boy seems to be today. Odasakuruns a hand through his hair, “Hey, how are you feeling now?”

The boy shrugsbut doesn’t let go of Odasaku’s hand and Kousuke sighs loudly from where hestands next to Sakura, “Just bring her doll back, Katsumi. If you don’t thenshe’ll start crying and you know how annoying and noisy she gets when she cries.”

“I'm… noisy?”Sakura’s lips tremble before she starts bawling loudly and Odasaku sighs whenKatsumi points out it Kousuke’s fault that she’s crying and they start arguing.

Yuu pulls onOdasaku’s hand then and Odasaku looks down at him, “What is it—oh no, no. Notnow.”

Yuu throws upthe very same moment Shinji had stood in front of him and the next thing theyknow, Shinji is crying loudly as Katsumi and Kousuke continue arguing andSakura’s bawling hasn’t stopped since. Yuu’s sniffing slightly, seeming on theverge of tears as well, and Odasaku looks between the five of them, not knowingwhere to begin to fix this mess.

Somehow thischaotic moment seems so perfect for Dazai to pull on Odasaku’s other arm,“Odasaku.”

Odasaku’sprobably excepting Dazai offering help rather than adding a new problem withthe way he immediately turns to him, “Dazai, can you—”

“I’m jealous. Iadmit it, I get really jealous. That guy was back flirting with him again todaybecause if anything, it seems that Chuuya dislikes me and nobody would everbelieve we’re together. And I don’t care about that because everything is finebetween us. But is it really fine? Because Chuuya isn’t that dense. He knowsthat guy is flirting with him but he’s not doing anything about it. Does hereally like me, Odasaku? Maybe I like him more than he likes me? Maybe I’ve gotit all wrong and Chuuya doesn’t want anything serious with me?”

Odasaku’s eyeswiden at Dazai’s words as his kids’ crying and arguing echoes around the roomand he manages to nod his head idly at that, “Okay, you can’t help now. Youneed help too.”

“There’s achance if I don’t get help I’ll end up in the same state as your kids.” Dazaihasn’t let go of the end of the sleeve of Odasaku’s jacket just yet and Odasakudoesn’t do anything about it.

“How about Itake care of the kids first then you?” Odasaku asks carefully and Dazai nodshis head. Odasaku looks down at where Dazai’s still holding on to his jacketthen back at him, “Can you let go?”

“No.”

Odasaku staresquietly and sighs as he nods his head, “I understand. Just try to help me withthe kids, yeah?”

Once Yuu andShinji have been cleaned up and Katsumi and Kousuke have stopped arguing andSakura has gotten her doll back, Odasaku pulls Dazai downstairs with him.

“I wasexpecting you to admit this sometime soon, but didn’t really expect it to bethe moment the kids started crying.” Odasaku says once they’ve sat down andDazai shrugs not looking back at Odasaku just yet.

“Maybe theircrying is what made me admit it.” Dazai says with a slight chuckle, “They’rebetter at expressing themselves than me.”

“If you want tocry nobody is holding you back.” Odasaku has a grin on display and Dazai can’thelp it but laugh.

“That’s notwhat I meant.”

Silence lingersbetween them for a few seconds and Odasaku smiles gently before taking in asmall breath, “So?” Odasaku awaits Dazai until he’s looking back at him tocontinue talking, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.”

Odasaku nodshis head, “Alright, you said you’re jealous. You think Chuuya doesn’t careabout you?”

Dazai shakeshis head, “No. Chuuya cares way more than he’ll admit about me.”

“You thinkChuuya doesn’t like you?”

“He does. But,”Dazai sighs, “I don’t know. I don’t understand why he was fine with that guyflirting with him.”

“Maybe he’sjust too nice to let him down and that guy probably knows nothing would everhappen.” Odasaku glances aside and has a small smile on display, “I’ve seen youtwo together and how Chuuya is with you. He won’t be the sort to just allowsomeone to flirt with him when he’s with you. But I know you, even if Chuuyacompletely ignores the guy, you’ll still be jealous.”

“Chuuyaattracts lots of people.” Dazai mumbles and Odasaku glances at him with asmirk.

“That isn’t thereason why you get jealous.” Dazai looks back at Odasaku carefully, “You saidit yourself. For once you’re taking something seriously.”

Dazai bites hislips slightly as he lets the thought linger a bit and looks down.

“It’s Chuuyaafter all.”

~~

Chuuya’s quietnext to Dazai and Dazai wonders if he’s already fallen asleep. The lights areall out but it isn’t completely dark in the room with the gap between thewindow and the curtain dimly lighting up the room, hazy purple shadow castedacross the room.

Dazai remainslying on his back, staring at the ceiling blankly, as Odasaku’s words runthrough his mind. He’s taking this seriously; for once in his life takingsomething seriously and holding it close to his heart, but he can’t help butwonder if Chuuya is feeling the same. It’s understandable if Chuuya isn’t,after all it’s Dazai he’s dealing with and Chuuya’s one of the few that canfully understand Dazai and knows Dazai’s never taken anything seriously. Ifhe’s doubting this relationship, Dazai fully understands and has no one toblame but himself.

And he shouldbe patient and let Chuuya figure out everything by himself, yet Dazai’s findinghimself in need of some reassurance that Chuuya does indeed love him with howhe’s witnessed that guy twice flirting with Chuuya in these last three days asthey’ve worked together and something about Chuuya’s reaction has sprouted thisjealousy in him.

Dazai turns hishead aside and stares at Chuuya’s back and whispers in the quiet room, “Chuuya.”

“What?” Judgingby the way Chuuya had immediately replied, Dazai can tell he’d still beenawake.

Dazai doesn’treply and instead turns to lie on his side. He stares at the back of Chuuya’shead and reaches his hand to comb his fingers gently through his hair but stopshimself.

“Chuuya.” Dazairepeats and it has Chuuya letting out a small breath.

“Dazai, what doyou want?”

Dazai smiles ashe scoots closer to Chuuya and this time runs his hand through Chuuya’s hair, “Nothing,just wanted to know if you’re awake.”

And if youlove me.

Dazai doesn’tmention it though and he can feel the jealousy starting to settle in the pit ofhis stomach again at the thought of someone else being in his place and playingwith Chuuya’s hair like this. The thought doesn’t sit well with Dazai and hefinds himself swallowing the sudden lump in his throat and silently pleadingChuuya to just say or do anything to give him the reassurance he needs.

“Why?” Chuuyaasks and Dazai can hear it in his voice how tired he is.

“What do youmean?” Dazai scoots closer and drops an arm around Chuuya’s middle, pulling himslightly closer so that Chuuya’s back is against his chest.

“You wanted toknow why I’m awake because you have something to say.” Chuuya answers and Dazaichuckles.

“I don’t.”

Chuuya tsks, “Liar.”

“How cruel, Chuuya.”Dazai purposely drawls out Chuuya’s name, hoping Chuuya isn’t tired enough tonot argue with him and then have him in some way or another just give Dazai thereassurance he needs.

Chuuya sighsand turns around slightly, not completely but enough to look back at Dazai.Chuuya’s eyes are tired and Dazai knows had he not spoken earlier, Chuuya wouldhave been asleep by now.

Chuuya smiles, “Isee the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”

Dazai blinkshis eyes slowly, “What?”

“You think I’mdense enough not to notice those guys were flirting with me?” Chuuya chucklesslightly and grins, “And you think I’m dense enough not to notice the way youwere looking at me every single time?”

Dazai stares athim blankly, allowing Chuuya’s words to sink in, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talkingabout you being jealous.” Chuuya says and finally turns round completely beforehe smirks as he adds, “You looked like you wanted to kill that guy. You love methat much?”

Dazai chuckles.

Of courseChuuya noticed, of course Chuuya reacted that way, he knew Dazai had noticedand had only wanted to see Dazai’s reaction all along.

It’s somehowthe reassurance he needed but he’s still Dazai and he won’t just admit it, “Idon’t get jealous. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, okay.”Chuuya says lightly, unconvinced by Dazai’s words.

Dazai’s stillgot an arm around Chuuya, rubbing his hand inattentively against his back, andChuuya stares quietly for a moment at him before adding, “He came again todayafter you left.”

Dazai’s eyeswiden and Chuuya’s smirk is enough an indication for him to know Chuuya cansense his jealousy already. Dazai keeps his voice calm as he speaks, “He did?”

“It’s such ashame you weren’t there. You looked like you were ready to kill him that timewhen he’d been speaking to me. And I kept on thinking if that was yourreaction that time, then what would have your reaction been if you’d seen himhugging me today.”

Dazai’s hold against Chuuya’sback tightens, finding himself pulling Chuuya slightly closer possessively, andChuuya continues smirking, amused by Dazai’s reaction and Dazai can only mumbleout, “He hugged you?”

“I thought youdon’t get jealous?” Chuuya asks instead.

“He hugged you?”Dazai repeats and Chuuya chuckles.

“No, he didn’t.I didn’t see him after that time. I just made that up so please don’t go andkill him.” Chuuya smirks, “So? Will you finally admit you get jealous?”

Dazai sighs, “Whydo you have to attract so many people?”

“It shouldn’tmatter. I don’t love any of them.” Chuuya mumbles as he rubs his eyes tiredlyand Dazai can’t help it but smile at that thought.

There’sonly one person Chuuya loves.

Chuuya noticeshis smile, knowing Dazai’s thoughts wordlessly, and he has a similar smilebefore he pecks Dazai’s lips, enough an indication for Dazai and just saying ofcourse it’s you.

“Go to sleep.”Chuuya says quietly and Dazai nods his head.

They remainbathed in silence for a few moments and Dazai’s certain Chuuya’s on the vergeof sleep yet he can’t stop himself from mumbling, “He really didn’t hug you?”

He’s met with aloud whine and Chuuya mumbling, “I’m not going to get any sleep, am I?”

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