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P R E F E R E N C E # 13 - P I L L O W T A L K

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A K U T U G A W A

“Aku, can I ask you a legitimate question?” You would inquire timidly, your voice meek and frail. “Of course.” He would murmur in response, the softness in his voice filling the suppressed silence in the room. Although the room had been swallowed in an impregnable, numbing darkness, both you and Akutugawa would lie awake, your bodies entwined in an intricate tangle. Furthermore, you had given up on sleeping hours ago, your conversation seemingly never ending. “Do you really love me? Do you really see a future with us?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, your cheeks turning crimson. You were thankful for the darkness in the room, for it hid your abashed facial expression. You knew you shouldn’t be asking this question. Out of the multitude of times he had reassured you that he loved you, you knew all too well that you were completely ridiculous for asking, and yet you still did. Why couldn’t you grasp the concept? Why couldn’t you just realize o that he really, truly did love you? “Y/N.” Aku would finally sigh, his voice disapproving yet understanding. He knew your struggles. He knew you all too well. And where he was far from perfect, he loved you greatly. And, quite frankly, since he met you he had became a better person and that’s all he ever wanted to do. You deserved nothing but the best. Constricting his arms tighter around your body, Aku would kiss your head for a few lingering moments. “If there is no you, there is no me. I plan to spend the end of my days with you. There is simply no other way. I love you more than I’ll ever be able to show you.” A ragged gasp would slip from your lips, your eyes slipping closed in elation. “Thank you.” You would breathe, your head nuzzling against the crook of his neck, relief trickling through your veins. “And I know you are probably feeling guilty because you asked, but please know I’ll tell you I’ll love you a million times if I have to. My heart is yours and yours only.” Finding your lips somewhere in the dark, he would silence your racing thoughts with a tender kiss to your lips. These late nights were nights you cherished the most.

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D A Z A I

Your body would involuntarily launch forward, your breathing shallow, your body covered in a sheen layer of sweat. You could feel your heart slamming against your ribs, yours hands clawing at your chest desperate for any relief you could find. “Shhh, it was just another nightmare, love. You’re safe.” Jumping as two arms pulled you back, you would remain tense even after Dazai would reach over and turn on the bedside lamp. Even though the light made things a little less alarming, you would still struggle to come back down to reality, your pounding heart being a reminder of that. “Breathe with me.” Grasping his hand in yours, Dazai would inhale slowly then exhale encouraging you to calm yourself. Where it was difficult to get you to breath, it was not impossible and Dazai was patient as he completed the breathing exercises with you. This was something you always loved about him; he never gave up on you. “It’s that damn green snake.” You would mutter, sitting up as you rubbed your temples. “Green snake?” Dazai would inquire sitting up with you as he rubbed your shoulders from behind. “Yeah. When I was younger and I was under a great deal of stress, I would have a dream that a never ending green snake would be slithering under my porch. I use to scare the crud out of my family screaming every night about it. Good to know I can carry on the good legend by scaring the bejesus out of my boyfriend.” Chuckling humorlessly, you would shake your head pinching the space between your eyes. Great. Why had you just told him this? Little did you know that Dazai was smirking behind you, his heart swelling with adoration. “Belladonna, I’m not entirely sure if this is coincidental or not, but I actually use to be a snake slayer of the green variety.” Grabbing a pillow you would turn to face him, smacking him gently in the face with it as you rolled your eyes.

“Shut up.”

“It’s true. I, Osamu Dazai, use to pride myself in being Yokohama’s number one green snake slayer. Which means, as of right now, you are with the safest person you could possibly be with.” Pulling you into a bone crushing hug, you wouldn’t be able to stifle your giggle as his lips pressed against the crown of your head. You wanted to be mad at him for mocking you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to. Why did he have to be so damn charming? “But in all reality, Y/N. I will always protect you nightmare or reality. And when you lay your head over my heart to fall asleep every night, I hope you know that it beats for you and you only. These nightmares may be temporary, but know that my protectiveness over you is eternal.” Stroking your hair softly, your heart would slow back down to a steady pace, your breathing evening out. You knew all of this to be true, but hearing it would bring you the smallest shred of relief. How did Dazai somehow manage to make everything better?

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C H U U Y A

“I know I come off as confident, I know I am powerful, but sometimes I truthfully feel a little insecure.” His words would be slow, his hand lazily stroking through your tangled locks. “Chuuya.” You would muse, your chest tight as you rested your chin on his bare chest, your eyes sad. Chuuya had never displayed this side of himself to you. Perhaps his mind was still hazy from the raging intercourse you had just engaged in, perhaps he was finally allowing his guard to tumble down around him. Either way, you were enjoying this side of him. Even if it did make you sad. “Chuuya. You are so handsome, truly debonair.” Raising your hand to run your fingertips down his cheek, he would twist his mouth in chagrin, his eyes wondering anywhere but your own. “Don’t be embarrassed. You know you are allowed to feel insecure, right?” Finally locking eyes with you, he would reach his own hand to run through your bangs, his eyes soft and gentle. “Y’know, it’s this misconception among genders that men aren’t allowed to feel insecure. That men are expected to lift their girl up and to be strong at all times. I’m telling you right now that that’s horse shit. Chuuya, you have every single right to feel this way and to embrace it. In fact, I want you to talk to me about it. I want to lift you up the same way you lift me up,” Propping himself up on his elbows, he would stare wide eyed at you struggling for the right words to say. Furthermore, he had never in a life had someone tell him this. His whole life, he was expected to be strong and dependable. His whole life, he was expected to be a leader before he could even fully grasp his powers himself. Never had he let his guard down this way, and had someone tell him that it was okay to be soft. Where it was something he didn’t want to get himself in the habit of feeling, it felt nice to know that his thoughts were safe with you. “You are amazing, you know that? I mean, seriously, Y/N.” Sitting up completely he would ogle at you, his eyes sparkling with wonder. “And you are beautiful. And intelligent. And strong. Everything about you. Those eyes, that nose, that smile, all of you. It is all perfect.” Giving you a chaste kiss on the lips, your eyes would widen before closing slowly, melting into the passionate kiss. “Just don’t forget who’s the boss after you’re done showering me with compliments.” Chuuya would joke, his laughter gentle. “Oh, hush, you gorgeous, ravishing man.”

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A T S U S H I

His careful eyes would drink in your every move. Trembling as the rain began to pour harder against the windows, jumping at the smallest rumbles of thunder, wincing whenever the lightening strike was particularly bright; you were afraid. Very afraid. It was odd, seeing you in this light. It was odd seeing you trying to conceal your feelings when typically you were an open book. Were you embarrassed? Perhaps, you didn’t want Atsushi to know. Perhaps, you didn’t normally tell people this, but honestly did you really think he’d care? “Atsushi, you’re so deep in thought.” You would muse, poking at his cheek playfully. “I can always tell when you’re thinking hard because you furrow your eyebrows and you purse your lips.” Brushing your fingertips over his lips, you would smile up at him as he nuzzled his nose against yours giving you an Eskimo kiss. “I was just thinking the same thing about you, Y/N.” Atsushi would say a little sheepishly, taking in your baffled expression carefully. “You don’t like storms do you?” Punctuating his inquiry perfectly, a loud crack of thunder would send you trembling under his arm, clutching onto him tighter than you were before. “I guess I’m busted.” You would sigh, looking up at him with red cheeks. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, you know that, right? Your feelings are understandable, storms can be destructive and alarming.” Stroking his fingers through your hair with one hand, he would rub circles into your back with the other knowing that this was what typically calmed you down when you were anxious. “I know I don’t have the ability to control the elements, but I do have the ability to make you feel safe and I will always make sure I’m doing everything I can to make sure that you feel safe whenever you’re with me. I promise you that.” Kissing the top of your head, you would bury yourself deep in his chest settling into his warm embrace. “As long as your arms are around me, Atsushi, I will always feel safe.”

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P R E F E R E N C E 1 2 - S C H O O L S T R E S S.

C H U U Y A

“Sometimes...Sometimes I just want to quit.” You would admit, tears welling in your eyes as you focused your attention to your fiddling fingers in your lap. “I-I want to succeed. I want this degree. I want to accomplish my goals. It’s just—it’s really hard.” The tears gushed down your cheeks miserably, your voice beginning to tremble ever so slightly. “I just don’t think I’m good enough, Chuuya.” Finally allowing the pent up emotions to release, you would feel your chest become overwhelmingly heavy with realization. You weren’t good enough. You weren’t cut out to fulfill your dream career. You were never meant to succeed even from the beginning. You were a failure. “Y/N, look at me.” Chuuya would murmur, his voice so soft and gentle you couldn’t deny such kindness and benignity. “My sweet, beautiful Y/N.” His eyes would study you diligently, his hands gripping underneath you to move you promptly to his lap. “You are the most capable person I have ever met. And I know you well enough to know that you are far too stubborn to get this far just to give up.” Your mouth twisted in chagrin as your eyes darted away from his making him chuckle. “Plus, Y/N, I wouldn’t allow you to quit even if you tried, you wanna know why? Because I know your potential, I know your drive, I know how hard you work and what you’ve faced thus far. I know you can do this, Y/N.” Nose skimming against yours, Chuuya would press a gentle kiss to your lips smiling as you sucked in a small gasp at his actions. The affect that Chuuya had on you never failed to humor him. Pulling away to press his forehead against yours, he would breathe out your full name, his voice nearly silent to the human ear. “You will get through this. WE will get through this.” Sighing at his words, your eyes would slip closed a small sigh emerging from your mouth. “Do you promise, Chuuya?” Lifting your chin with his index finger, he would force you to look him in the eye, the sincerity scolding hot in his orbs. “I promise. Now, let’s see what we’re dealing with.” Reaching to where you were sitting previously, Chuuya would open the textbook, his eyes intently scanning the table of contents as he held the book out so both of you could see. A smile would work your way to your lips as you told him where to go, knowing that what you thought was impossible was possible as long as you had Chuuya by your side.

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D A Z A I

“How was your test?” Dazai would ask casually, his voice sincere with curiosity. You knew Dazai was not trying to be spiteful. You knew Dazai was just genuinely inquisitive. You knew that Dazai was unaware of your struggles in the subject. You knew that Dazai was uninformed on how you had spent the previous night sobbing and scrambling because you were so unprepared for this test. And yet, the moment he asked this question, you could not control the tears that poured over your cheeks, your frame beginning to tremble. “Hey! Hey, hey, hey.” Dazai would murmur, instantly pulling the car over, slamming it in park. “What’s wrong?” He would ask, prying your hands from your face with little to none difficulty. “Talk to me, Y/N. What’s going on?” His voice gentle, his eyes yearning to know why his belladonna was so clearly devastated. “I-I-I failed. I failed that test. I’ve been struggling for months, barely keeping myself from drowning, but I’m fairly certain that I just failed. And I’ve worked so hard, so very hard, and I don’t want to lose my scholarship, I-“ You refused to finish your statement, your eyes shutting close, your teeth clenching. It was too much. Too much to think about, too much to acknowledge, too much to bear. You had been working so hard. So, very hard. “My dear, sweet Y/N.” Dazai would tut, his hand cupping your cheek, his eyes examining your distressed features. He hated the stress that wore heavy in your eyes, he hated the strain in your voice as you struggled to utter the words, but most of all he hated how unfair it was that someone who worked as hard as you had failed. You didn’t deserve it. “Come here.” Pulling you into a hug, Dazai would run his fingers through your tangled hair, his lips pressing to the crown of your head. “Why didn’t you ask me for help? I could have helped you.” He whispered, keeping his grasp strong around you as you soaked his shirt in your tears. “I don’t know, I was embarrassed. I felt so stupid for struggling the way that I did and you are already so very busy.” You explained, pulling away from him as you brushed your tears away with the back of your hand, your face now swollen and tumfield. Although you were evidently a disaster, you were the most beautiful disaster to Dazai. “Next time around, and there will be a next time, I am going to help you. One, because you deserve to succeed. Two, because I will never judge you especially if it is because of a silly school subject. And three, because I love you very much and I will ALWAYS have time for you. No matter what, Y/N, you come first.” Bopping you on the nose, you would giggle making Dazai’s heart falter before becoming rapid and full with life. “There’s that ravishing smile I love so much,” He would coo, reaching to nuzzle his nose against yours.

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A K U T A G A W A

It was late when he arrived home. After a long day of fullfilling the mafia’s most deadly orders, he was lucky he even got home at the time he did. Nevertheless, it was late and he was certain you would have already slipped into a peaceful slumber. Which is why complexion colored his features when he heard music playing from your office, the raps of the keyboard thudding ever so slightly beneath your fingers. Schoolwork. It had been keeping you up for days. Endless amounts of coffee, late nights followed by early mornings, piles and piles of papers constantly surrounding you in a force feild-you were swamped. And Aku was completely over watching your health detiorate before his eyes because of it. This was going to end, and it was going to end now. Furthermore, his patience had grown alarmingly thin. Walking swiftly into the room, Aku would wordlessly walk up to your desk and close your laptop nearly pinching your fingers. “Aku-“ You would scold, gasping when he would close the textbook beside you, his hand reaching for your coffee and dumping it in the plant you had just recently placed on the corner of your desk. “What in the hell do you think you are doing?!” You would shout, jumping to your feet as your eyes scanned over your boyfriend frantically. Had he completely lost his mind? His expression was unreadable, his eyes seemingly cold as he ignored you, reaching over you to turn off your lamp making the dimly lit room completely dark. “Akutagawa, I demand you to stop I have school work to do-“ A squeak emitted from your mouth when Aku lifted you from the ground, carrying you from the office against your will. Flailing and trying to flee, you would fight against his grasp the entire way to the bedroom, pouting when he placed you on the middle of your shared bed. “It’s four in the morning. School work is secondary, your health is priority. At least it should be,” He would mutter, shrugging out of his coat and hanging it up in the closet. When he turned on his heel, he was gobsmacked to see you making a beeline from the bedroom back to the office. Chasing after you, he would grab you from behind lifting you and carrying you back to the bedroom. “Y/N, I said enough.” He would state curtly, glaring at you as he set you to your feet. “YOU DON’T GET IT! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I HAVE TO GET THIS DONE OR I WILL FAIL!” You explode, tears springing from your eyes as you began to emit short ragged gasps. Staring at you in complete horror, Aku would freeze as he watched you unravel. He knew you had been stressed, but he wasn’t expecting this. “I’ve never been more stressed in my life.” You would choke, collapsing into Aku’s arms as you grabbed his shirt in your fists. “I-I’m so tired, but there is so much I need to do, I-I can’t breathe.” Rubbing small circles into your back, Aku would sigh, resting his cheek against the crown of your head. How had he not known it had gotten this out of hand? Staying silent, Aku would grab your shoulders guiding you to the bed as he wordlessly tucked back the comforter, inviting you in. Crawling into the thick duvet, you would cling to Aku like a life line as you tried to control your breathing. Eventually, however, you would grow tired and very comfortable against his grasp. “You’re going to get through this Y/N-Chan. You’re the smartest person I know.” Aku would murmur into your hair when he felt you breathing steady. Little did he know that you stayed awake, smile painted on your lips knowing that he was always looking out for you.

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A/N: I don’t really know why I get carried away writing Aku’s portion, I guess I just subconsciously stan him 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Hence my last prompt, my mental health has been detiorating rather quickly, so I apologize for not updating as much. I promise I will be on by the end of the week.

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P R E F E R E N C E #11 - D E P R E S S I O N

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WARNING - TRIGGER WARNING! IF YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF MENTAL ILLNESS, THIS PROMPT MENTIONS THOSE TOPICS AND YOU SHOULD PROCEED WITH CAUTION KNOWING THAT IT WILL ABSOLUTELY BE MENTIONED! PLEASE DON’T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THIS CONTENT!

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D A Z A I

“I don’t like this anymore than you do.” You would whisper, your eyes unmoving from the wall in front of you. Even though you would never once turn around to face him, you would still be able to detect his presence, his eyes burning holes into your back. “I know you don’t.” Dazai would murmur, his voice growing closer as his dull footsteps would inch near the bed. “I would be concerned if I felt you were enjoying living in the state of mind.” He would chuckle humorlessly, the bed dipping beneath you as he joined you in bed, his warm limbs entangling with your frigid ones. It was the first time he had tried to touch you in days simply because he had been trying to give you the space he felt you needed. He had realized his endeavors were futile, nevertheless, realizing a little too late that you needed him. You needed his touch, his presence, his words of encouragement. You needed him period. And he had let you down. It hadn’t been on purpose, but it had still happened. How were you ever going to forgive him? Would you be able to? “I understand why you don’t want to be around me though. I’m not angry. In fact, I understand. You have your own demons, you don’t need to shoulder mine.” You would state curtly, your voice faraway as you closed your eyes basking in the wonderful feeling of having him close to you again. His heart would quite literally crumble at your words. “I always want to be around you, my love. Your demons are my demons, just like mine are yours. We’re a team now, Y/N. I’m sorry I’ve left you alone in this to feel that way about me. I love you very, very much. And we both know that I don’t ever say that lightly.” You shivered as you felt his lips on your neck, his words hot against your cold skin. This touch alone was enough to make you forget for a fleeting second about how empty you were feeling. Surely, it wasn’t enough to cure your dark emotions, but it was a nice distraction-a bandaid, if you will. “Dazai, how do you do it? How do you feel like this constantly and still have the courage to do what you do?” You would ask very seriously, turning around to face him as your eyes bored into his. “Are you asking me what my muse is in existing? What keeps me going even when I feel like life is an endless void of suffering?” Dazai would inquire, taking you into his arms as he stared down at you with an indescribable emotion stirring in his features. All you could do was nod as you took in his ominous form, not sure you were really wanting an answer to the question that you were so painfully curious about. “It’s quite simple, really. My muse in getting up every morning and wanting to right my wrongs, my purpose to living in this cruel, dark world is nothing less or more than the love I have for you, Y/N.” Your heart would stop all together before propelling into an alarming rate knowing that the indistinguishable emotions in his face had been nothing but ardor and pure love for you. Dazai wasn’t typically one to let his exterior guard down, but for you it was nothing. He loved you. He really, really loved you. “And that is the exact reason why I know you’re going to get through this. Because I love you and I will never give up on you because you never gave up on me. We’re in this together now, my dear, sweet Y/N.” And with that, his lips would be crashing against yours with the most sincere, most gentle touch.

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A K U T A G A WA

“Do you think I am a fool?” His words would pull you up short, your body freezing in place as you turned slowly on your heel to face him. His face would be stone cold, his expression unreadable as he stared intently at you. “Of course not.” You would whisper, your eyebrows furrowing together as you took in his unmoving expression. He was completely still. In fact, you had never seen Aku look so frozen in your life. You would be lying if you said it didn’t frighten you, for you knew this was the calm before a massive storm. “Then why are you lying to me.” Even though his words were supposed to come out as a question, you could hear the statement plain and simple behind his words. This was not a question, no. This was a confrontation. A confrontation that you were destined to lose. Gaping at him for a moment, your head would drop as the tears rushed to your eyes before you could fight it. You hated crying, but what you hated more was having to explain your actions. Why you hadn’t been eating, why you had been spending more time in bed than not, why you had been taking extra long showers and dissociating from Akutagawa for decent periods of time. Furthermore, you knew you were going to have to come clean about your trauma, your depression. You hated it. You hated it more than you could even bear. “I don’t want to lose you.” You would gasp, forcing yourself to look through your blurry vision at your unreadable boyfriend. “I-I-I am damaged goods. I haven’t been depressed since we’ve been together, but this is who I am. This is what I go through from time to time. And I-I really don’t want to lose you because of this.” You would force yourself to pull it together, taking a deep breath as you closed your eyes. You had mastered the art at stifling your emotions. You had mastered the art of pretending like you were okay. “Do you seriously think you’d lose me because of that?” Aku would ask, his tone cold and glaring. “Y/N. You are allowed to be depressed. You are allowed to feel other emotions other than happiness. That is what being human is. It’s not always perfect. It’s not always jubilant. You CANNOT control that. You can control being honest though, which you failed to do making you exceedingly selfish.” He was scolding you, but it wasn’t to parent you. He was scolding you because he felt slighted. He felt slighted and left out of the loop. And he had every right to feel that way, you couldn’t deny that. That made you feel even worse. “I never looked at it that way, I’m just so very ashamed of myself. I’m sorry, Akutagawa, truly.” As he stepped toward you, he let out a complicated sigh, the different emotions flitting across his face in a millisecond. “Typical me making you feel bad for being depressed. I’m not use to taking care of people and having people in my life the way I have you. I shouldn’t be frustrated with you when you’re suffering as you are. I’m the one that should be apologizing, not you.” Wrapping his arms around you as he enveloped you in a bone crushing hug, you would sigh gratefully at his touch. “We’re a mess.” You would laugh against his chest, smiling as you felt his body rumble with laughter as well. “You’re gonna get through this, you know that?” He would finally ask, pulling away to look sincerely at you. With his complete confidence and support, how could you not make it through a depressive stage? “As long as I have you anything is possible.”

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C H U U Y A

“Are-Are you crying?” You would be horrified. Absolutely, positively horrified. For there stood your beloved boyfriend, the person whom which you adored with your entire soul and being and he would be crying. He would be crying and you wouldn’t know why. “Chuuya.” You would breathe, inching towards him as the pads of your thumbs brushed away his fallen tears. “W-What happened?” You would inquire, your breath hitching in your throat as his miserable eyes would connect with your own. “Y/N, what’s wrong with you?” He would speak, his words no softer than a broken whisper. “You’re growing so thin, you never sleep anymore, I can barely get you to eat or take a shower or do anything. I-I feel like you’re just a hallow version of yourself and I have no idea what to do or how to help you. I feel so helpless. All I want is to make you happy,” Pressing his fingertips gingerly against your cheeks, his eyes would be wild with desperation looking for the slightest bit of life in your dead eyes. Where was that spark? That light? He missed it so much. He missed you so much. Too much. “Chuuya, there’s something you should know.” You would sigh, pressing your forehead against his as you would slump with complete fatigue. You were exhausted, exhausted from the disorder, but you needed to find the courage, the strength to tell Chuuya everything. Furthermore, he deserved it. He deserved to know why you were hurting yourself and hurting him in the process. So, you would tell him. You would pour your complete heart out, starting from phase one. Starting from when you first got these feelings, how you had grown up with them, how you had suffered for an extensive period of time. Most importantly, you would assure him that none of it was his fault. That no matter what he had been telling himself, there was not a single thing that he could do to make your emotions go away. Little did you know that that wouldn’t sit well with him. Not. One. Bit. “You are wrong.” Chuuya would snap, letting go of your hand as he would pace back and forth his face complex with distress.

“Chuuya, no-“

“No, Y/N. I will not stand here and allow you to give up on yourself. We are going to fight this sickness head on. You are going to eat, I am going to make sure of it. We are going to be active, we’re going to get out and run and live. I am going to get you help, we’ll get you medicine or get you to a therapist if we have to. No longer am I going to let you sit here and be captive to your mind. From now on you are at MY mercy. And, Y/N, my dear, you aren’t going to like me. But you WILL thank me. Because I am going to get you through this.” You wouldn’t know what to say. You were terrified, relieved, angry, and overjoyed at the same time. Not once had someone ever taken you into consideration the way he was doing now. He loved you. He really, really loved you. “I swear to everything, Y/N, that if it is the last thing I do I will see that spark in your eye again. I promise you’ll be happy again.” Pulling you into his chest, he would hold on to you tight as you would bury yourself in the crook of his neck. Little did he know that the sparkle in your eyes, though very dim, were starting to make their return. And it was all thanks to him.

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A/N: I know this is a little intense, but I like to write about things that are personal to me and I struggle tremendously with my mental health. Thank you for reading and I am very sorry if it was too much.

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P R E F E R E N C E # 10 - S H O W E R I N G

A K U T A G A W A

“Shhh.” Your aggressive sobs would absolve into soft whimpers as you would feel your hair being combed back, a pair of hot lips pressing to the back of your neck compassionately. “I’m here now.” You would try to control your breathing, gasping small shallow breaths as you would force yourself to calm down. There was a reason you cried in the shower. You didn’t want people to see this side of you, you didn’t want people to know how truly weak you were. “I-I can’t breathe.” You would sputter, your chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. You couldn’t believe you were hyperventilating in front of Akutagawa. You were embarrassed, but overall you were exposed. Not because you stood before him completely nude, but mostly because he was seeing a side of you that not many people ever got to see of you before. “It’s because you’re trying to stifle your emotions. Cry. Scream if you have to. I’m here now. I will take care of you.” With his kind words, you would let out a heartbroken choke as you would slump forward resting your forehead against the wall. You were defeated; exhausted of constantly trying to pretend like you were alright. Why were you hurt? Why were you even crying? Stress? No coping mechanisms? You would have no idea, but it wouldn’t stop you from unloading 100% of your emotions seeing as the damage had already been done and exposed. You would sob miserably, allowing Aku to wash your hair gently, his fingers massaging the shampoo into your hair. Usually you would have a bit of a sensitive head, wincing and cringing whenever anyone tried to touch your hair, but Aku would be merciful and tender. “My sweet, strong girl.” He would coo in your ear as he would use the shower head to wash away the remaining soap in your hair, not realizing in the process he would be washing away each protective barrier you used to keep others out as well. No one had ever done anything like this for you before, let alone took care of you during one of your panic attacks. Aku was perfect in your eyes. Using your oversized loofah, Akutagawa would scrub your lavender body wash into your skin, managing to scrub away any trace of grime and insecurity that was left untouched on your skin. Finally finding the strength to move your body, you would turn to face him, your eyes bloodshot, your face swollen. Luckily in your favor, the steam would be thick hiding the uglier details that you didn’t want him to see as clearly. Little did you know that he would think you were beautiful no matter what. “Thank you.” You would breathe, exhaustion causing you to collapse into his arms the hot water beating against your bare back. Aku’s arms would wound around you tighter than before as he would hold you close against him for as long as you needed him. “I love you.” He would whisper over and over again as you would cling to him like a lifeline.

-

C H U U Y A

It was supposed to be cute and fun. It was his first time spending the night at your house after all and you two were shamelessly playing house. It felt natural, domesticated. You liked the feeling of pretending to be married, pretending to have a life together, it was sweet. It was sweet and it was something that you both could really get use to. You saw your future together and it was bright and innocent. You would think that at least up until the moment Chuuya would accidentally walk in on you preparing to take a shower clad in only your matching bra and panties, then it would be game over. Furthermore, innocence would cease to exist in the blink of an eye. So fast, you wouldn’t be entirely sure how it would have happened, Chuuya would have his mouth moving in harmony against your own. Then while your head was full of lust and need, his own clothes would be off. And before you know it, you both would be submerged under the scolding water, the steam ricocheting off your nude body’s. The hot water would feel good, but not nearly as good as Chuuya would feel inside of you. Drilling you incessantly, Chuuya would grab your leg hitching it around his waist so he could hit your g-spot with each thrust. He would be merciless, relentless making you squeal out delicious moans. Stifling it though, he would kiss you roughly to keep from moaning too much himself. After all, it was he who was supposed to pleasuring you. “I’m close.” You would murmur, pulling away to rest your foreheads against his. Just the blackness in your eyes would nearly send him over the edge as he would quicken his pace, determined to get you off. “Ch-Chuuya.” You would whimper, your other leg wobbling to support you as he began to rub rough circles around your clit to push you even closer to the edge. Your eyes would lock into place as your walls would tighten around him, your body reaching its climax leaving you completely breathless. After you would come down from your high, Chuuya would be very sweet. Making sure to clean every last bit of you, even putting your hair into a large Mohawk causing you both to giggle. Showering together would indefinitely become a thing after this.

-

D A Z A I

“Room for one more?” You would ask sheepishly, pulling back the shower curtain to reveal your troubled boyfriend. Even he couldn’t hide his amusement as he would pull the curtain back farther, offering his hand to you so you could climb in with him. “Well, aren’t I lucky?” He would smile, wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning down to kiss your nose. He would giggle as you would scrunch up your nose in response to this. “What has you feeling so adventurous today?” He would inquire, stepping backwards so the water would pour directly over his head, the water dripping beautifully down his face. “Oh, y’know...” You would shrug. “You noticed I wasn’t myself when I came home, didn’t you?” He would whisper, tucking your now damp hair behind your ears, removing it from your eyes. How were you supposed to lie to him when he asked so earnestly? You couldn’t. You absolutely couldn’t. Nodding slowly, he would let out a sigh turning away from you as he would press his head against the wall. “Here I was thinking you’d just come here to suck me off. Now I have to actually talk about my feelings. It’s tragic having a girlfriend who cares.” Whining dramatically, you would roll your eyes pressing your body against him. “I’m not here to ambush you, my love. Though I am here in case you would like to talk about it.” Nodding ever so slightly in response, Dazai’s rigid frame would loosen as your hands would massage his scalp, your hands suddenly working in the shampoo carefully. You would move slow, making sure to take your time hoping the longer the intimacy was prolonged, the more he might want to open up. He would stay still the entire time, nonetheless, occasionally sighing as he would tip his head back indicating that something felt good. Much to your dismay, he would stay completely silent that is until your hand would reach over him to turn the water, then he would grab your wrist letting out a small sigh. “Can we stay like this, just awhile longer?” He would inquire, his voice coarse clearly from letting the emotions get to him. It was rare Dazai got upset, but when it happened it typically hit him hard. All you could do was utter a small ‘yes’ as you would press gentle kisses to his bare back.

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 9 - E A S Y L I K E S U N D A Y M O R N I N G

*Author Note: still sick. sorry it’s short.

D A Z A I


Suffice to say, Dazai would be beyond irritating. From the moment his eyes would open, he would need your undivided attention under no circumstances (and that would also mean no going back to sleep unless he was involved). Poking and prodding at your facial features, blowing raspberries on the crook of your neck, tugging at the ends of your disheveled hair, and his personal favorite—barely letting you drift back into a peaceful slumber then waking you back up quickly in alarm. He would be so merciless that you would eventually have to either snap at him or cave into his desires (and judging by his cute morning glow, we all know you wouldn’t be able to stay mad at him). Once you would finally decide that 6:30 isn’t THAT early, you would let Dazai have his bratty way; there would be no complaints though. Dazai would definitely make your decisions pay off.

-

A T S U S HI


Mornings with Atsushi would be dripping with thoughtfulness and a whole lot of sweetness. It wouldn’t appear that way at first seeing as you would awake to his side of the bed being empty and cold; however, the delicious aroma of breakfast would make your spirits lift. Atsushi wouldn’t let you participate in anything major, for he would want to treat you to a nice surprising breakfast. He would probably give you small tasks like fetching the measuring spoons or getting him the ingredients out of the cabinet. Obviously that would grow tedious though, so you would resort to Plan B—back hugging Atsushi as he tended to the food on the stove. Nuzzling your face in the space between his shoulder blades, peppering his neck with sweet kisses, and caressing your fingers along his abs—Atsushi might avert his attention away from the food for a moment just to remind you of how much he loves you through a passionate kiss. 

-

C H U U Y A


Playful—so playful. First and foremost, leaving the comfort of your bed isn’t even going to count as an option. It would be an unspoken understanding between the two of you, you would just automatically know that there was no place you’d rather be. With that being said, you would find entertainment in just existing together. You would trace shapes and patterns on his back and he would try to guess what you were drawing (being surprisingly right at most), you would play two truths and a lie (which would end quickly because you already knew everything about one another), he would humor you by whispering sweet nothings in your ear, and most of all humor himself by discovering your tickle spot and using it to his advantage. There would be some play fighting, but that would ultimately end in a makeout session (which there would be A LOT of). Mornings with Ken would just be fun.

-

A K U T A G A W A 


A lazy morning with Aku wouldn’t be so lazy for him, but more lazy for you. The last time you had woke up too sore to walk, you had made Ravi vow to you that the next time it happened he would cater to your every need. Needless to say, when you would awake in the morning too sore to hardly move, you would be giving your boyfriend hell. There would be many frantic apologies emitting from his mouth and a lot of useless massaging. Eventually he would draw you a nice warm bath and that would soften you up a bit. At the end of the morning, however, all you would want was his company. So, Aku would lay with you. It would be the best (and I mean THE best) spooning you would ever experience in your life. Hand slipping under the fabric of your shirt, rubbing the soreness in your abdomen away, he would place lingering kisses on the dips and curves of your shoulders, reminding you of how much he truly loved you. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to swallow the pride of making his girlfriend sore, which may result in an elbow to his gut.

[animepreferences]

I M A G I N E : C U D D L I N G W I T H A K U

(R E Q U E S T E D)

~ ~ ~

It had been a long day.

A very long day, indeed.

And Akutugawa wanted nothing more than to wrap his loving, and beautiful girlfriend in his arms. To feel the warmth beneath his fingertips, to know that she was in the safest place in the world, sheltered tightly in his grasp. He had day dreamed about it all day, shamefully. Furthermore, he knows while he’s working that he needs to have his head 100% in the game. He knows better than to let his emotions dictate him, he knows better than to let his urges make him soft, but he can’t help it. In addition, he thanked his lucky stars nearly everyday that you weren’t his enemy simply because your loving touch was his kryptonite. The affect you had on him was irrevocable and unequivocal to anything he had ever felt.

Which is why when he walks through the front door, the first thing he’s doing is scouting you out. When he sees you aren’t in the living room, he checks the kitchen. When he sees you’re not in the kitchen, he checks the backyard. When he sees that you’re not in any of those places, he checks your bedroom. There you are.

Hair tied up in a messy bun, night shirt hanging securely off your shoulders, book in hand, glasses on nose, you would look so casually beautiful. His heart would be pulled up short, a small gasp getting hitched in the back of his throat.

Upon seeing him, you would close your book as a sheepish grin would meet your face. He could tell from afar that you were sleepy, the iris’s under your eyes dark, your face feigning to display the slightest bit of enthusiasm. You were still so perfect to him.

“Sorry, I’m already in bed. It was a super long d—“ Akutagawa would cut you off by falling face first into the bed, his head collapsing into your lap. At first you would be shocked by his abrupt entrance, but then you would smile. He worked hard. Of course, he was tired. He always got particularly affectionate when he was tired.

“Long day for you too?” You would inquire, fingers combing through his long locks lovingly as he nodded weakly. You stayed like that for a moment, your hands stroking his hair as he closed his eyes basking in the glory temporarily before sitting up and taking you into his arms just as he had wanted to all day.

“Mmmm.” You would hum, enjoying how his strong arms would curl around you bringing you close to his body. You would press your ear to his chest, sighing contently as you listened to his heart that beat only for you. It was the absolute best sound in the world; music to your ears if you will. It was your favorite thing in the world as well, that is until Akutagawa would roll onto his back placing you precariously on top of him. Usually, you would complain about this position feeling as if you were too heavy to be lying on top of him, but this time you allowed yourself to relax and enjoy it.

Nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck, you would press a few kisses against him giggling softly when he let out a slightly audible moan. Lifting your head to stare up at his perfectly sculpted face, you would sigh happily. He was beautiful, how did you get so lucky? Pressing a kiss to his chin, then his nose, then the corner of his lips, to finally his lips directly, you would melt into him as if he were honey. At first, you would dictate the kiss, your lips moving against his slowly but surely, then Aku would take the reigns.

Rolling over once again so that he was now over top of you, he would kiss you roughly. Licking and nibbling at your bottom lip, you would gasp when his teeth would suddenly clamp down on your lower lip allowing him to slip his tongue in you. Moaning against his mouth, you would deepen the kiss wrapping your hands around his neck as he lifted your legs so that they were wrapped around his torso.

“You’re so beautiful.” He would breathe, pulling away from you beginning to kiss you passionately behind your ear, on your neck, shoulders, collarbone. His hot lips would make you shiver, a smirk pressing gingerly against your neck as he continued to bite down surely leaving bruises for the next day. As much as he loved your moans, he really loved leaving his mark on you. In fact, it was his favorite thing in the world...Arguably...

Lifting his chin, you two would lock eyes intimately before you would kiss each other once...twice...thrice before pressing your forehead against each other. Your heads would be dizzy and full, both of you trying to catch your breath as your foreheads would remain connected for a long period of time. Finally, Aku would lower your legs from his waist, collapsing beside you as he pulled you into his chest again.

These nights were the nights you cherished the most.



[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 8 - I H A T E Y O U

*Authors Note: I got sent home from work with a fever and I’m feeling a bit ill, but I wanted to write this for you guys. Hopefully my emotions don’t reflect too much on this preference and it isn’t too dark. Sometimes I overdue it a bit when I’m feeling low.

C H U U Y A

“I hate you.”

He had went too far. He knew it almost immediately, as he watched your face change instantly, the anger absolving into hurt. He would watch as your parted lips would mash into a grimace, your eyes instantly filling with hurt. He knew his words were mean, he even knew that he was taking his anger out on you. He didn’t know, however, that you were taking it so personally. And the second the tears would gush down your cheeks miserably, his heart would shatter into a million and one pieces because he would know.

“Y/N-Y/N...” He would stutter, his breath hitching in the back of his throat as he stared at you completely bewildered. He wanted to hold you in his arms, tell you how sorry he was, but he didn’t know how deep the hurt went, and he didn’t want you to push him away. Sure, he would be deserving of that. Sure, it would totally be in order, but it would hurt him. It would hurt him tremendously.

“I’m so sorry.” Deciding against himself, he would enclose you in a bone crushing hug. At first your arms would tighten at your sides, your frame unwilling to budge. You didn’t want to hug him back, you didn’t want to give in to his malicious damage control, but in your heart you knew. You knew Chuuya; the good, the bad, the ugly. You knew his heart, his intentions. You knew he would never purposefully try to hurt you. You knew he would never mean to make your tears fall. He was simply angry. And you knew better than anyone that he didn’t know how to control his anger. You were helping him every day, but he still had so far to go. He needed you. Slowly raising your arms, you would reciprocate the hug, your cheek pressing against his chest. “I can’t take the words back now. I know you may never fully forgive me, but my heart beats for you and for you only. You can’t even begin to know the disgust I feel with myself for making you cry.” He would whisper into your hair, stroking it gently as his own tears soaked into your scalp. “Please forgive me. I can’t lose you, I’m—I’m begging.” He would plead, his chest heaving as his own tears began to fall down his cheeks rapidly. You could hear the desperation in his voice as he cried, the remorse illustrated clear as day. There’s no way this man hated you. Not for one second would you believe that, not when the strongest person you know was currently deconstructing before your eyes in fear of losing you. Chuuya loved you. He loved you so much. This you knew. “I know you love me, Chuuya. I love you too.” You would whisper as his arms would wound tighter around you, his grasp reassuring you that he would never let go of you. Not now, not ever.

-

D A Z A I

“I hate you.”

Tears would roll down your cheeks, as you would drop to your knees face buried in your hands. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” You would scream until your lungs burned, your body becoming weak. “I hate you for putting yourself in danger, I hate for you never knowing when to say no, I hate you for not knowing your limits, and I hate you for-for leaving me!” Your screams would be shrill and desperate, Kunikida’s arms wrapping around your chest as he pulled you back away from Dazai’s nearly lifeless body. “L-Let go of me!” You would sob, struggling uselessly against the strong grasp. You hated how foreign his arms felt, you hated how the person comforting you should be the one who was close to death, not his partner. “Akikko Yosano will be here soon, calm down Y/N. He’s going to be okay.” Kunikida desperately tried to calm you as you let out uncontrollable wails, your screaming now happening against your own will. Really, you had forgotten you were screaming until you felt the urge to black out yourself. Furthermore, everything had became exceedingly blurry. You had always said the day you lost Dazai would be the day your own world would come to a screeching halt. Originally you had thought that it was just the romance speaking; that surely there would be a way to go on without him when that time came, but you were realizing the hard way that that would be impossible. You were realizing that without Dazai, there would be no reason to go on. No reason to live because in your body and soul you knew he was the reason. You knew that he was your purpose. Your only purpose. “You can’t die, Osamu Dazai, if you do I will-I will never forgive you. If you die before me right now, I will die HATING you!” You screamed, finally collapsing into Kunikida’s embrace your head dizzy and light. His arms clutched you tight as you sobbed, pulling the material of his shirt into your fists in frustration. “Damn it, damn it, damn it all.” You would whisper, the tears causing your frail body to tremble violently. “Kunikida-San. You can at least wait till my body is cold before you steal my love.” Dazai would choke out, blood trickling down his chin as he let out a strained cough. “Dazai, you idiot save your energy.” Kunikida would scold, loosening his grip so you could crawl to Dazai instinctively. “Don’t you dare die.” You would whisper, placing his head in your lap as you leaned down to kiss his nose, his blood transferring to your own face. “How can I knowing that you would hate me if I did?” He would inquire, his voice weak, his eyes blinking slowly. “That-That’s right. I would hate you so much.” You cried, tears dripping onto his face as he let out a frail laugh. “We can’t have that.” Feeling a hand on your shoulder, you would look up to see Yasano with genuine smile, her eyes hopeful and confident. “I can take it from here, Y/N-ah. This lunatic isn’t going to die that easy.”

-

A K U T A G A W A

“I hate you.”

You would explode, turning on your heel in a complete fit of rage. “Is that what you wanted to hear Akutagawa? Are you happy now? I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!” Picking up the vase beside you, you would throw it to the ground with infuriation, ignoring how it scattered around you in a multitude of minuscule pieces. “It’s like you can’t even understand me unless I am speaking your language, so do you hear me now? Do I have your attention for once in my life? I HATE YOU!” The tears would roll down your face miserably. You had never once in your life lost your cool on him before. You had always been very patient with his unwillingness to accept the fact that he truly was a good guy in your eyes, that you loved him fervently. But you had grown exhausted by his constant stubbornness. You had had grown tired of having to tell him everyday that his heart was in the right place and he deserved to live. Most importantly, you had grown tired of his constant desire to get you to leave him; even if it was for your own sake. Why couldn’t he get over the fact that you loved him? That you weren’t going anywhere? Sometimes it felt like he didn’t want you anymore, that maybe just maybe he didn’t want you in the same way you wanted him. You just wished he would tell you that. “Y/N-“ Aku would say, his mouth parted in horror. “Don’t-Don’t look at me like that. It’s what you want, right? You want me to hate you, you want me to leave! Maybe I will!” The scream was gut wrenching, taking every last bit of energy out of you as you dropped to your knees ignoring the glass that crunched beneath your knees. The pain was unbearable, blood oozing out of you at a rapid pace, but not as unbearable as the thought of leaving Akutagawa was. To be completely fair, nothing was as unbearable as that. The room would fall into a pit of silence as your sobs would rake through your body, your sniffles as loud as a gun shot. Then Akutagawa would speak and say the words you had always yearned to hear. “I love you. Even if you do hate me. I love you for now and for always.” It was the words you had first uttered when Akutagawa had told you that he hated you. You couldn’t believe he remembered those words down to punctuation, you couldn’t believe that he was reciting them to you now. Truly he wouldn’t have remembered if he didn’t love you. “I wouldn’t want hurt anybody else either, you’re stuck with me for life unfortunately.” Quoting you again, he would lift you up by the armpits, supporting your limp body as you continued to cry against him. “I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you. I don’t for a second ever want you to leave me. I love you more than anything, more than life itself. You know how many things I’ve loved before you? I’ll give you a hint: nothing. But you...You’ve changed my life forever, Y/N. You’ve shown me humility, compassion, love...To me you are irreplaceable. To me, you are the reason why the world turns. To me, you are my reason for everything. Don’t ever leave me, I beg of you.” Usually a red blush would creep to his cheeks, but this time his face stayed grave and sincere. For once, you felt his honesty like a ton of bricks. Akutagawa loved you. He really, really loved you.

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 7 - I N S E C U R E



D A Z A I

“To be honest, I don’t love myself.” Your voice would tremble, your eyes closing as you admitted your deepest darkest secret to the love of your life. “I hate everything from my face, to my body, to even my personality sometimes. I feel as if I am constantly putting up a good, convincing facade for you and for everyone else that I love, but the truth is sometimes I’m not strong enough to pretend. A lot of the time I’m downright exhausted.” Dazai would listen to you carefully, thumb rubbing reassuring circles into the palm of your hand. Never once would his eyes leave yours; it was important to him that you knew he was listening. “How can someone like you even love a girl like me?” You would utter, a tear rolling down your cheek miserably. Hand reaching up to brush it away, Dazai would catch your wrist mid reach and lean forward to kiss your tear away himself. “Don’t utter another word.” Dazai would suck in a sharp inhale, staring at you wordlessly. For once, Dazai would be speechless. How could you say such a thing about yourself? Dazai did NOT like it. Not. One. Bit. “I won’t allow you to say such hurtful things to yourself. Y/N, you are beautiful.” Stroking your face with diligence and perceptiveness, Dazai would drink in every last detail as if it were the very last time he would be seeing you. “Every.” Kiss. “Last.” Kiss. “Bit.” Kiss. “Of.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss. “I love that face. Those eyes, that button nose, those soft lips.” Brushing his fingers over your face, he would lift your chin to give you a gentle kiss to your lips. “I love that body. Those collarbones, those curves, especially those-“

“Dazai.” You would giggle, grabbing his hands that were just about to cup around your breasts. “Sorry, love. Got a little carried away.” He would laugh sheepishly, happy though to see your smiling face. “Most importantly though, I love that heart of yours. I love your willingness to help others, your patience, your understanding, your compassion. You may not think you are perfect, and you may not love yourself, but please know that I do. I love every last inch of you up until I take my very last breath.” Head dipping down to press against your heart, Dazai would let out a thankful sigh at the erratic thumps. He loved when he could hear your heart pound quickly knowing that it was for him and him alone. “Dazai...” You would whisper with difficulty controlling your breathing. “I love you.” Lifting his head to meet yours, your lips would mold against each other in the most pristine way. “I love you, my perfect, beautiful girl.”

-

C H U U Y A

“Why are you looking at yourself like that?” Chuuya would ask innocently, eyebrows knitting together as he watched you examine yourself in the mirror. “Nothing looks good.” You would mutter, ripping the dress off of you as you sunk to your knees, tears flooding quickly to your eyes. “Nothing ever looks good on me. I’m-I’m hideous.” Choking out the words, your head would bury in your hands, shame filling you to the brim. Chuuya would be shocked. No, not shocked. Horrified. Absolutely, positively horrified. Why would you even think such a thing? Why would you even associate yourself with the word ‘hideous’? You of all people? “Y/N...” Chuuya would gape, unable to fully comprehend what he was feeling. Was it sadness? Was it shock? Was it horror? “Don’t. Don’t lie to me, Chuuya. I’m hideous and you know it.” You would say spitefully, shaking your head. With this statement, Chuuya would finally know exactly what it was he was feeling: anger. It was anger. “Stop it. You, stop this right this instance.” Pulling your limp body up by your armpits, he would turn you to face the mirror a little aggressively, his face grave with sincerity. “You tell me what you think is so hideous and I’ll tell you why you are wrong.” Chuuya insisted, going behind you to lift your head so you were forced to stare at your reflection. “Everything.” You would mumble stubbornly, choosing to avert your eyes to his reflection instead. “Everything? Everything, Y/N?” Chuuya would take a deep breath to control his emotions, his eyes closing as a way to ground himself. “So, you mean to tell me that you’re insecure about your face? Your beautiful face? The face that makes my heart melt? Those eyes that I could stare into for hours on end and not even have the slightest of urges to move?” Running his fingers over your cheekbones from behind, he would smile as a blush crept to your cheeks. “Don’t even get me started on that blush of yours. If I could make you blush everyday for the rest of my life I would be the luckiest man to live.” Pinching your right cheek lovingly, he would kiss the top of your head. You were beginning to smile, he could feel the weight of the world slowly lifting from your shoulders and it made him feel like the luckiest man in the world. “And you mean to tell me your body is hideous? This body? These shoulders, this chest, these dips and curves that I love oh so much? Y/N, it goes without mentioning how much I love this body of yours. God, do you even have the slightest idea how you make me feel just by looking the way you do? I’m lucky...I’m so fucking lucky.” Kissing from your neck, to your shoulders, to your collarbone you would let out a soft moan as Chuuya focused in on your soft spot, making deep bruises with his mouth. “Y/N, will you allow me to show you just how beautiful I think you are?” Chuuya would inquire, words hot against your exposed skin. Who were you to say no? Nodding your head weakly, you would let out a small squeak when Chuuya was suddenly lifting you from behind, carrying you to your bedroom eager to show you just how much he loved you hoping in return you would love yourself just as much.

-

A K U T A G A W A

He would be furious. Unequivocally, irreversibly furious. What did you mean you thought you weren’t pretty? What did you mean you were insecure about everything down to the last, nitty-gritty detail? Surely, you were joking with him. Surely, you were giving him a hard time? But that look in your eye...That broken look in your eye told him otherwise. You truly meant what you said. “I can feel your anger.” You would sigh, placing a hand on his shoulder in a comforting way. “But you mustn’t blame yourself, Aku. I’ve always been like this. Before you, with you, after you-“

“You’re wrong.” That statement would rub him the wrong way, his eyes connecting with yours with a vehement passion you’d never quite seen before in your life. “Wrong because there will be no me without you. Wrong because if it’s the last thing I do, you will never have to feel insecure while we’re together. It is my sole purpose to make you feel loved, to make you feel like you’re the most beautiful person in the world and until you feel that way I will have failed you. And I don’t ever want to fail you, Y/N.” Aku would never once break the eye contact he held with you, knowing that the second he could your eyes might wonder allowing yourself to think those self-destructing thoughts once again. And that was simply unacceptable. “I promise you, Y/N, if it is the last thing I do, I will make you look at yourself the same way I look at you. I promise.” Pulling you in for a passionate kiss, a surge of electricity would pulse through your entire body, your body becoming weak under his dominant touch. Instantly, his tongue would lick at your lips before forcing its way through to wrestle with your own. The kiss would be unruly, but determined to make the point it was desperately trying to prove. Furthermore, just as Aku would have wanted, you would have crumbled to dust beneath him as he kissed you with the passion of a thousand suns, simply showing you no mercy. “Jump.” He would growl as his arms hooked beneath you, lifting you so you were forced to straddle his body. After a few intense moments of kissing you with no let up, you would finally pull away from him, head disoriented, breathing ragged and wild. “I love you so much, Y/N. And I’m so, so sorry I have failed you.” Akutagawa would whisper, lips pressing to your forehead as you still continued to fight for your breath, your eyes wild with lust. “You will never let me down, Aku. I love you so very much.” Pressing your forehead against his, Aku would sigh eyes connecting with yours instinctively. He would make you see. Even if it was the last thing he did.

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 6 - S I C K

C H U U Y A

“And where do you think you are going?” Busted. Chuuya was busted. He should have known that you would catch him, he should have known that you would be keeping tabs. Furthermore, he had underestimated your observing personality once again. You were far too over protective for your own good. “Fresh air?” Chuuya would try, his tone hopeful as he took his hat off, fidling with it nervously. It was amazing after all the power he posessed, that he was still frightened by his frail, unassuming girlfriend. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. “Mmm, is that why you are dressed for work then? Odd attire for some meager fresh air.” Walking towards him, you would eye him suspicously. Stuffy nose, swollen features, blotchy red face; there was no way you were allowing Chuuya to go to work like this. Absolutely no way. “I’m feeling better?” Chuuya would try again as you would walk circles around him as if you were a corrections officer. “Is that so?” You would muse, pressing your palm to his forehead as you felt the scolding temperature beneath your touch. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Because to me, it seems like you’ve got a pretty wicked fever.” Busted. Again. “Your hands are cold, Y/N.” A cough would betray him as he tried to reason with you, hanging his head in defeat. “And you are sick.” You would laugh again as you placed your hands on his shoulders, guiding him back to the couch as he continued to hang his head in defeat, knowing that you were far too smart for your own good. Plopping onto the couch, Chuuya would let out a small ‘hmph’ as he stared up at you, a pout on his lips. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. The more you rest, the sooner you’ll get back to work.” Pressing a kiss to his forehead, you would begin to walk away only to be jerked back to him when he caught your wrist. “The least you can do is cuddle me.” Who were you to ignore those wide, childlike eyes that were filled to the brim with desperation? This is how you knew Chuuya was really sick; he was never so verbally needy. “Your wish is my demand,” You would sigh, curling behind him on the couch as you brought him to your chest, arms enclosing around him tightly. He would cuddle closer to you, his head lolling against your body weakly, humming when you would pull a blanket over the both of you. “Rest now.” You would whisper in his ear as his breathing steadied and his body became still. Sure, you were at risk of getting sick, but it was worth it to you. Chuuya was your number one priority afterall.

-

D A Z A I

“Long day already?” You would laugh half heartedly as you drank in his fatigued frame. His shoulders would be slumped forward, his hair messier than usual, his under eyes tired and slightly bruised. He was only home for his lunch break and yet he had looked like he had just came home from a 24 hour bender. “Kunikida sent me home early.” Dazai would smile crookedly, his voice attempting to sound normal. If he were talking to anyone else, he would have had them fooled, but you weren’t just anyone else. You knew Dazai inside and out. You knew instantly that something was wrong. “What’s wrong?” You would inquire, blood draining from your face as you approached him in a fleeting second. Your worried hands would hover from his chest, to his shoulder, to his face. You weren’t really sure what you were looking for until he would turn to sneeze into his elbow. “Dazai-San, are you sick?” You would ask, pressing your forearm to his forehead. Gasping from the heat that burned you, you would take his face in your palms scrutinizing him carefully, your eyes locked together for a fleeting second before you would lose your ever loving shit. “My poor Dazai! You are burning up! What’s wrong with you? What are your symptoms? Are you okay? Are you hungry?” Frantically pushing him to the couch, you would shove him down a little too much gusto causing him to land with a loud ‘thud’. You would ignore it, however, eyes searching for a blanket to wrap him up in. “Y-You need blankets. To break your fever. And some soup. Yes, some nice hot soup. How about some tea? Yes, I always liked hot tea for my sore throat. Maybe I’ll draw you a hot bath, yeah? Though you need some rest, you should probably stay right here. Oh, yeah! Maybe-“

“Y/N.” Dazai would interrupt you with a weak chuckle, sitting up as he rubbed his now sore neck. “Yes, my love?” You would respond eagerly, rushing over to him to smooth his hair back gently. “I’m terribly sorry to inconvience you in this state. There’s no need to fret, however.” Gently clasping onto your arms, he would pull you to his chest in one swift motion, his face nuzzling into your hair. “The only thing I want now and forever is to hold you in my arms. Perhaps your body heat can break my fever, yeah?” His words would be muffled, but you would still be able to decipher his words coherently. Usually you would roll your eyes at his forwardness, but right now it was rather endearing. After all, the only thing he wanted while he was sick was to hold you in his arms. And although you were slightly apprehensive about catching the ailment, you wouldn’t have to heart to tell him this. “Of course, Dazai. Whatever you’d like.” You would murmur into his chest as his arms tightened around you, his breath coming out in a satisfied sigh. ‘Maybe I should get sick more often’ Dazai mused internally to himself as he allowed your warmth to fill him to the brim.

-

A K U T A G A W A

You would awake to his strong arms wrapping around your torso, his breath tickling the crook of your neck. Instantly, you would know that there was something off in Aku. Furthermore, your boyfriend was not typically one to wake up early. In fact, it were usually you who was waking him up like this. Not the other way around. “Good morning, Aku.” You would murmur as you attempted to turn around to face him. You wouldn’t be able to, however, as his arms would be stuck to you like glue. “Aku?” You would murmur inquisitively as you felt his hot cheek press to your shoulder blade. This was strange. Eyes cracking open to look at the clock beside you, your eyebrows would knit together as the time showed that it was nearly noon. Usually, Akutagawa would be out the door by now. “Hey, it’s kinda late. I think you overslept.” Finally shrugging his arms off of you, you would sit straight up in bed rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. A small gasp would get stuck in your throat, however, as you took in your boyfriends physical state. Mouth slightly ajar and emitting heavy breaths, nose completely rubbed raw and red, cheeks enflamed, iris’s a deep purple; Akutagawa was sick. Very sick at that. “Not going in today. Too sick.” He would breathe, eyes closing slowly as he let out a strained cough. You could clearly hear the congestion and it hurt your heart. “Good call.” You would murmur, running your fingers through his tangled hair reassuringly. “Aku, do we need to go to a doctor?” You would ask, worry sincerely laced in your words. “No. Just a cold.” He would murmur, eyes cracking open to examine your worried expression. “I’m gonna get you some pain killers to nip that fever and make you some soup, my love.” You would say, slowly leaving the bed as you stared back at him sadly. You had never seen Aku so pathetic in your life; it hurt your heart. Before leaving you would throw another blanket over him, propping another pillow under his head kindly. “What would I do without you?” He would whisper, staring up at you with love in his eyes. Instinctively, you would lean down to kiss him, lips barely touching before he would turn to his side hastily. Huh? “I’m sick, Y/N. Don’t be stupid.” He would scold you, a laugh reaching your lips as you shook your head. Leave it to Aku to be rational even when he wasn’t feeling his best.

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 5 - T H A T T I M E O F T H E M O N T H

-

A K U T U G A W A

It was very rare that your usual calm and cool composure was compromised, but every once in awhile life got to you and made you lose your bearings. This usually happened when you were under an immense amount of stress or you were on your period. In this particular moment, it was currently your period. “Y’know what? No, I’m over this. There is nothing to eat in this god forsaken house and I KNOW I just went grocery shopping.” Slamming the cabinet doors close, you would let out an exasperated exhale as you threw yourself down at your shabby kitchen table. Little did you know that Akutagawa had currently just arrived home with takeout and groceries. He wasn’t dumb, afterall. He knew what time of month it was by the way you had bit his head off earlier in the day about something rather trivial. That and he had noticed that you had stripped the sheets on the bed first thing in the morning. “Rough day?” He would chuckle, walking right past you as he placed the groceries on the counter. “You have no idea. I’m so slumped. And annoyed.” You would grumble, ignoring how your boyfriend continued to chuckle. Why was he laughing at you? “I’m sure you are. That’s why I picked up a couple of things at the store for you. You can take a peek if you want,” Aku would say nonchalantly as he tossed a bag onto the table, never once turning around to watch you. Letting out a small ‘hmph’, curiosity would win you over in the end and you would end up just having to look in the bag. It was then you would gasp. A bouquet of flowers, a substantial amount of chocolate, and some painkillers would sit before you. You hadn’t even told him and yet he somehow knew. He always knew, really. That was one of the things you loved most about him: he picked up on the little things that meant a lot to you. “Aku...” You would start, standing from your seat to approach him in the kitchen. “How-I mean-thank you-I,” You would stutter over your words, struggling to find the right ones to say. “I hope you feel better soon. Maybe later I can draw you a bath?” Aku would murmur, halting his actions to pull you into his arms and press a kiss to the crown of your head. “Perhaps, you could just cuddle me instead.” You would suggest, melting into his touch as he pulled you in even closer and tighter, mostly so you wouldn’t have to see the blush that was creeping ever so slightly to his cheeks. “Whatever you want my precious Y/N.”

-

C H U U Y A

“Stop it.” You would growl, crossing your arms across your chest as you stared straight forward, avoiding eye contact at all costs. “Pardon?” Chuuya would ask rather innocently, cocking his head to the side as he stared at you with complete and total bewilderment. “Stop.” You would say again, finally snapping your head up to stare at him, eyes cold. “You-Just-Could-You-Please—Ugh-Just—“ You would stumble over your words as you stared at him miserably. He clearly had got caught in a rainstorm on his way home from work and due to this he was drenched from head to toe, water dripping in a messy puddle around him. It wasn’t the mess you were worried about, however. He could drip mud and water throughout the entire house for all you cared. It was the way he looked. His wet hair framing his face perfectly, his clothes clinging to his open chest in the most seductive way. Your damn period always made your...er...hormones a little wacky meaning you got a little bit too turned on by Chuuya when you were menstruating. Not that you weren’t typically turned on by your boyfriend, but when you were on your period your emotions were heightened tremendously. “Y/N, are you?” Chuuya would giggle darkly knowing exactly what your black eyes and nervous stutters meant. “You have no idea.” You would groan, throwing your head back as you closed your eyes. “Mmm, just say the word and I’m all yours, baby.” Peeling the wet shirt from his body, you would nearly choke out a sob throwing your head in your hands, the image before you too beautiful. “Y/N?” Chuuya would say, urgency coloring his tone as he tried to pry your hands from your face, but to no avail. “I’m on my period. I can’t.” You would finally sigh, peeking at him through your fingers, cheeks flushed. “Oh, yeah! I forgot you get super horny when you’re on your period,” Chuuya laughed more to himself than anything as he walked over to you, draping the blanket that hung over the back of the couch over your shoulders, ruffling your fringe playfully. You could hear his steps fading into the background and finally felt it was safe to raise your head knowing that he was no longer around. When he returned, he held a heating pad in his hand, with a steaming mug of hot tea in the other, clothes completely dry and comfy. “For you.” He would say, handing you both things as he sat next to you on the couch, careful to sit far away. “You’re more than welcome to come cuddle with me, but I don’t want to make you even more miserable. I know you can’t resist me during these times,” wiggling his eyebrows, he would shriek when a pillow would be sent flying to his face. “Arrogant prick.”

-

D A Z A I

“Is it too late to take you up on that double suicide?” You would moan, arms clutching your abdomen as you spoke to your loving boyfriend. You two were currently in bed with no intentions on leaving. Why? It was simple. It was that special time of the month for you which meant cramps. Not to downplay anyone else’s cramps, but your cramps were particularly bad. No, not bad, awful. No, not awful, atrocious. Absolutely, positively atrocious. “C’mere.” Ignoring your request Dazai would pull you against his chest, resulting in you to hum contently as his warm arms would encompass you in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry you’re feeling poorly.” he would whisper in your ear, hands sliding down your body till they got to your lower abdomen. “Is this where they are hurting you, my love?” He would inquire softly, pressing a short kiss to the space behind your ear sending shivers down your spine in the process. Nodding weakly in response, Dazai would take this as consent to begin to massage the skin softly. At first you would wince, but then it would begin to bring you relief, his skilled fingers working through the low aches that brewed inside you like a tsunami. “That feels nice,” you would sigh, relief trickling over you at last as your head lolled against his chest. “That’s it, Y/N. Close your eyes and let me take care of you.” Dazai would coo, loving how your body relaxed against his touch, knowing that he was bringing you a relief to this pain that you had never quite found before. You could feel your eyes growing heavy, your body growing warm. A deep slumber was emerging from the shadows but the moment felt too perfect, too relaxing for you to fall asleep even though if it was what you needed most right now. “Quit fighting it, you need to sleep.” Dazai would say knowingly as if he could read your mind. “I’ll be here when you wake again, I promise my sweet rose.” With those words, you would snuggle even deeper into his chest honing in on the magic his fingers were working allowing you to get some rest for the first time in days. You had asked yourself a million times the question that surfaced in your head before falling asleep: how had you grown so lucky to have him in your life? What had you deserved to have the heart of Osamu Dazai? You may never know but you didn’t care. You were just happy to have him.

[animepreferences]

Hi sorry to bug you but I’m currently obsessed with bsd as well! Anyways...about the ship 👀 idk exactly what you’re looking for but I’m pretty short and a lil chubby but I’m always doing something and I can’t stay still or else I get bored and lazy. I’m not a fan of sweets but I love making them. I have a really good sense of humor and I’m very loyal. I’m also a Gemini so I’m kind of two faced, not the bad two faced but one day I may act a certain way and in a split second my whole mood will change 🤷🏽‍♀️ I’m kinda weird. But I’m always trying to make the people around me happy when I’m reality I’m lowkey depressed inside because life is stressful. Idk If u need anything more :/ but thank you sm and I hope we can become friends!

~

Hello, love!

I definitely ship you with Ranpo!



I was originally going back and forth between Atsushi and Ranpo, but then I started to consider the element of opposites attract and fell in love with the idea of you two being together.

When you would first join the agency, Ranpo would perplex you to no end. As someone who needed to stay busy and keep the ball rolling you would be unable to wrap your mind around the fact that he could simply sit in one spot the whole day and eat his snacks. It didn’t bother you, particularly, you just couldn’t understand it.

Little did you know that he had been watching you like a hawk. He couldn’t quite explain it, why he cared so much, there was just something about you. The way you cared for others, bending over backwards to ensure that everyone was okay. His heart was frenzied in a way he had never before felt and yet he also felt sad. Where you wore your bright smile around others, he could see when you were alone the way your happiness dimmed and your bright exterior faded. He hated it more than anything knowing that of course someone like you would bear the weight of the world on your shoulders.

One day, when you would be completely absorbed by the work at your desk, stress radiating off you, Ranpo would surprise you by coming to sit next to you. “Ah, hello, Ranpo.” You would greet warmly, eyes never peeling away from your screen. “Would you like some help?” He would offer kindly, eyes scanning the screen with a smirk on his face, knowing he could crack that code in less than thirty seconds. “Ah, sure.” You would oblige allowing him to take the reigns as he pulled the laptop to him studying it with almost...boredom? Unsurprisingly, Ranpo would come up with the solution nearly instantly, though you would be in shock because you had never before seen him in action. Furthermore, you had never seen anything so impressive in your life. You were completely smitten. “So, now that that’s figured out, how would you feel about me treating you to dinner?” How could you say no?

Your relationship would be nothing short of sweet. Everyone talks about the honeymoon phase being temporary, but yours never fails to end. Everyday you are surprising eachother, finding out new things about one another. You surprise Ranpo with endless sweet treats at work since you love to bake and you love to see the excitement in your eyes. He surprises you with a variation of flowers that he collects for you on his way to work. Everyone feels nauseated by how disgustingly cute you are together, but they secretly find it endearing. Whenever you’re feeling particularly upset, Ranpo will shower you with encouragements and loving words, reminding you how important you are to him and that you deserve the best.

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E #4 - U N P R E T T Y

A K U T A G A W A

“You can’t just keep running away from me.” You would finally break the deafening silence, your hand grasping onto his wrist preventing him from walking away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Akutagawa would argue stubbornly, ripping his hand away from you. “This. This is exactly what I’m talking about. The second things get uncomfortable, you leave me. You leave me here to worry, to fret, to make myself sick over whether or not you’re safe.” Towards the end of your statement, your voice would grow thick with emotion, the tears betraying you as they rushed to the surface of your eyes. You didn’t like arguing with him. You didn’t like spending your limited time being upset with one another, but this was necessary. Communication was necessary. “I’m going crazy, Aku. Just please. Please let me in and then maybe I could understand, maybe I could help. I just feel like you’re holding me captive here,” Akutagawa would let out a dark, humorless snort as he would turn around to stare at you menacingly. “Captive? Prisoner? Worry? What you don’t understand is that I’m trying to keep you safe. There is a big fat target on my back at all times, Y/N. And because you’re stupid enough to associate with me, that means there’s one on your back as well. Do you have any idea how much I worry about you? How often I rack my brain trying to assure that your safety comes first?” His words were laced with desperation, his hard exterior crumbling before your eyes as you watched him deteriorate. This was the first time he had really let his guard down to tell you all this. “Aku, I can take care of myself—“

“I don’t think you understand that you are my life now, Y/N. I will protect you at all costs. I will do whatever it takes. You-You don’t see the monsters I see everyday, you don’t know of how ugly this world really is. The only reason why I know is because I am the ugly and the evil.” Dropping his head in his hands, your mouth would drop. How could he say that about himself? “You are not ugly and evil. You’re good. Your heart is warm, and your soul is pure. You’ve just been through a lot and have some wounds to heal and that’s why I’m here.” Lifting his chin with your thumb and forefinger, you would be surprised by the tears that trickled down his cheeks. “I just wish you knew how much you mean to me. I’m not doing all of this to make you feel imprisoned, I’m just trying to protect you.” He would sniffle, tortured eyes locking on your own. “I know you are. I’m sorry for getting upset with you. I just need an explanation as to why all of this is necessary, Aku, you understand, correct?” You would ask, watching as he nodded his head slowly. “I just don’t want to lose you.” He would whisper softly, his eyes darting away from yours that were filled with compassion and understand that he just felt he didn’t deserve. “You’re never gonna lose me.” Were your last words before you pressed your lips to his, electricity radiating through both of your body’s.

-

D A Z A I

“I can see so much going on in that head of yours.” You would smooth the wrinkles between his furrowed brows, your fingertips gently tracing down his face. “And yet, you continue to selfishly keep me out. Quit leaving me in the dark, Dazai. Please let me know the real you.” Your pleading words would cause him to wince, his eyes clamping shut in pain. You wanted to know the real him, but were you prepared? Prepared to know who he really was? Prepared to know what he’d done? Prepared to know that he himself was a killer? “There are things that are better unheard and unsaid sometimes.” Turning back to his desk, his face white as a ghost, you would stare at him first in shock then with anger. “You know what? Enough.” Slamming his laptop closed and pushing the papers off the desk in a blinding rage, you would swing his chair around so that he was forced to look at you. “I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of not being able to help you. Enough of watching the pain in your eyes knowing there’s not a damn thing I can do to help you recover from the things that you have seen. I want to help you. I don’t care if you think I’ll see you differently, I don’t care if you expose me to something that you don’t think I’m prepared for, all I care about is you and you alone. And I’m exhausted of trying to read between the lines. I’m not Rampo, Dazai. You need to free yourself at once and tell me before it’s too late because I swear to god if I have to be the one that buries you six feet under, I’m going to piss on your grave.” These were words he had never knew you were capable of saying, the harshness intertwined with the urgency showing him that you were no longer going to endure being left in the dark. It was words he never wanted to hear, but words he needed to. Words to know that you meant business for once and for all. Dropping before you to his knees, he would clutch your slacks with his fists, tears racking through his body as he hid his face in your knees. “D-Dazai...”You would say in surprise never seeing him before in this state. Hands finding your way to his head, your fingers would stroke through his shaggy locks desperately trying to calm him but it wouldn’t let out. Soon, you would join him on the ground where he would tell you his story without breaking eye contact the entire time, fearful the moment he looked away you would have time to perceive him as the monster he knew he was. “You are a different person now, my love. Nothing will ever change what you mean to me. Your heart is pure.” You would utter, pulling him to your chest as you comforted his tortured soul. It was not too often Dazai allowed you to coddle him as he always enjoyed the feeling of coddling you, but this time he was too tired to fight it. Relaxing into your arms, he would let out a sigh, his eyes closing as he drank in your sweet aroma. “Don’t ever leave me Y/F/N. I really think my reason to exist would cease completely the day you were to walk away.” Pressing his head against your heart, he would sigh peacefully at the soft thuds, thankful he had you in his life. “I will never leave, Osamu Dazai. Not ever.”

-

C H U U Y A

“What is wrong with you?” His words would be calm, though it would be blatantly obvious that a storm was brewing behind his words, the anger building with each syllable. “You always asks me what’s wrong, what’s going on, if I’m okay when you should really be asking yourself that. What’s wrong with you, Y/N? Are you really so mentally unhinged that you would really allow yourself to stay with someone who’s main purpose in life is to serve the Port Mafia to kill and to be a weapon? Do you really even hear yourself sometimes?” His words were cruel, his temper unyielding as he stared spitefully back at you hoping to warrant some kind of reaction. Much to his dismay, however, you would simply just stand there, staring back at him blankly. “Are you even listening to me? Y/N, I don’t understand how someone as intelligent as you could really choose to be so stupid. I am one of the most powerful people in this affiliation and with power comes danger, yet you stick around. You’re so idiotic and naive,” You could hear the desperation in his voice as you continued to stare at him, your eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “That is quite enough, Chuuya.” Taking a step towards him, he would gulp at the calmness in your eyes. How were you not even flinching at his words? “You may frighten everyone else, but you don’t for a second frighten me. I know who you are. I know what I was signing up for the moment I fell in love with you and learned the truth. I am not stupid. I am not dumb. I am not idiotic. I am not naive. Which is why I can see what you’re doing: you’re trying to push me away because YOU are the one that is scared. But you have met your match, Chuuya-San. Because I am just as stubborn as you and I will never allow you to push me away. So, do your worse. Hurt me. Tear me apart. Damage me. You won’t do anything to make me leave you; to make me love you less.” He would stare at you, mouth parted in horror, eyes scintillating with complete fear. Very few had ever been willing to stand up to him like this; to put him in his place with little difficulty. Among these people you were the least intimidating and yet, he had never once felt the need to relinquish so much in his life. He had messed with the wrong person. “Y/N, I—“ He would choke before taking a step toward you, his face unreadable to most. You, however, could see the desperation hiding under those cold features. He didn’t mean it, of course he didn’t. He was only scared, you knew this. He needed you, arguably more than you needed him. Approaching him, you would grab his head and crush it to your chest giving him a tight, sincere embrace. Body melting into you, Chuuya would fight the tears that brimmed to your eyes. You were thankful he couldn’t see yours. “I’m sorry, Y/F/N. I don’t deserve you.” He would utter, lifting his head to meet your own wet eyes. Kissing away your rolling tears, he would pause as you began to shake your head. “That’s when we get into trouble, Chuuya. Can’t you just understand that we deserve each other? That we’re both lucky to love one another?” This would make him smile, as he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “We are very fortunate, indeed.”



[animepreferences]

Hello!

I run multiple writing blogs here on Tumblr, but this is my first time writing for this particular fandom.

I have an addictive personality meaning I can’t like things in moderation; I’m either full on obsessed or not interested at all. And in case you guys haven’t noticed, I am slightly obsessed with Bungo Stray Dogs at the moment.

At the moment, this is the only anime I am writing for, but I am open to writing for other ones if I feel inclined to. Some of my favorites are:

-Darling in The Franxx

-Psycho Pass

-Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood (Riza Hawkeye is my favorite character to ever exist, just throwing that out there)

-Soul Eater

-Erased

-Devil is a Part Timer

-Banana Fish (Still recovering)

My inbox is open for requests so send me your preference ideas and let me know if you want me to add more characters as I am only doing three right now, but I am open to doing more.

I also want to get into ships, so send me a description of yourself and I will gladly ship you with a character ;)

Thank you for your support so far!

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 4 - S U N N Y D A Y S A R E H E R E A G A I N

-

C H U U Y A

When the weather got warm and the sky became a beautiful curlean blue, there was nothing you enjoyed more than to spend your days sun up and sun down outdoors. Whether you were sun bathing, whether you were taking a walk, whether you were simply just out and about running errands, you absolutely adored the sun. Above all, you loved to garden. You loved planting flowers, you loved growing life, you loved being one with the earth. Nothing fascinated you more, and nothing fascinated Chuuya more than watching you engage in your special hobby. Currently as he watched you, he couldn’t think of anything more breathtaking than the sight before him. The way the sun bounced off of your body, your skin scintillating from the magnificent rays. The way your messy hair flounced around your face, your soft lips pursed in concentration. The mud would be coating your body, your clothes, your everything but strangely enough, Chuuya would STILL find it cute. That is until you would spend more time on the garden than you were to him. “Y/N-ah. Almost done?” He would whine, approaching you in the soil where you were sitting cross legged planting a variety of wild flowers. “Not quite, patience is a virtue, love.” Your lopsided grin would bring him up short, making his heart falter then speed up all over again. “You’ve got three minutes before I make you though, consider this your warning.” Kissing you on the crown of your head, Chuuya ruffled your hair playfully before walking off. Make you stop? Hm, you’d like to see that happen. “I’d like to see you try to make me stop, Chuuya!” You called as he walked away from you. He then, however, paused at your words turning around with a devilish grin. “Oh, you will.” He winked before continuing to walk away from you ominously. ‘That was weird’ you thought before turning back to your work, innocently examining your plants. You loved how the color looked under the rays of the sun you never got over how much joy gardening brought you and-“COLD!” You interrupted your own thought process when your backside was suddenly being drenched with freezing cold water. Scrambling to your feet, you would turn sharp on your heel only to be blasted in the face by another cool jet of water, nearly falling back onto your behind. It took you a minute to realize what was happening and then you saw it: your ornery boyfriend with the gardening hose in his hand. “Oh, you’re gonna pay for that one!” You snickered before running full force at him, arms held open at arms length. Charging at your boyfriend with massive speed and giggles escaping from your lips, you chased your boyfriend who sprinted with the hose still in his hand. Finally, catching up to him you would jump on his back, somehow managing to grab the hose and give him a good shoot of water up his nose.

“That burned!”

“Good!”

Chuuya toppled over, taking you down with him. The water sprayed above you like a fountain, your chests heaving up and down as you laughed wildly. It was the moments like this that made him fall more and more in love with you everyday.

“Looks like I made you stop.” Chuuya would laugh slightly out of breath, his nose skimming against your own.

“How is it you always get your way, Chuuya-San?” You would hum, the space in between you closing, your lips merging together in a wet, passionate kiss.

-

D A Z A I

“Are you sure we won’t get in trouble?”

“Would I ever do something to get you in trouble, Y/N?”

“Nearly everyday, Dazai.”

The agency had a boat that they took out for emergency cases. It wasn’t anything fancy, it wasn’t anything extravagant, it was strictly for business and business only but Dazai wanted to take it on a ride. Not alone, however, that wouldn’t be any fun. Of course, he wanted to take you with him. How romantic, right? Except for the fact that you really weren’t supposed to use it for pedestrian reasons. “Don’t you trust me?” He asked, his lip jutting out as he reached out his hand for you to step on the docked boat with him. “Dazai, that’s not fair. You know I trust you with my entire being.” You whined crossing your arms. “If you trust me, you’ll join me on this boat. How can you deny this offer on such a beautiful day?” Dazai held his arms out wide motioning to his surroundings. It really was a beautiful day, there was no way you could deny that even if it meant getting chewed out by Kunikida. Why must Dazai be such a bad influence on you in the workplace? Letting out a defeated sigh, you motioned your hand to your cheeky boyfriend silently asking for his help onto the rocking boat. Wordlessly reaching out for your hand, Dazai would yank you onto the boat with far too much gusto, causing you to fall into his arms. You would let out a shocked squeal as Dazai being his romantic self, would dip you so that your head was nearly touching the floor of the boat, your faces inches apart before you could even steady yourself. “I love you.” He would hum, kissing you softly on the lips before lifting you back up making your head whirl. “I’ll say it back when we return safely.” You chided, sitting right next to the drivers seat. “You worry far too much Y/N. You’re perfectly safe with me.” Turning the key with a crooked smile the boat would roar to life. Rather than easing it out of the dock carefully, however, Dazai would make you squeal by suddenly shooting out of the dock with tremendous speed. Where it would make you slightly apprehensive to be moving so fast, you would feel free and very much alive. The wind rippling through your hair, the salty smell of the ocean filling your nostrils, the feeling of just living and being free; you were so incredibly in love with the moment. In love with the moment, in love with your life, and in love with having a boyfriend that pushed you outside your comfort zones and convinced you to go on these wild adventures with him. “WOO!” You would yell out, spreading your arms out and closing your eyes. God, Dazai knew he loved you a long time ago but it was something about the way you looked right now; the happiness oozing from you, the freedom that you wore so proudly on your face. He felt equally as grateful to be here with you that you did about him. Probably even more, though Dazai had always been in love with you from the moment you met. “Dazai, I love you!” You would bellow from the deepest pits of your core, turning in your seat to grin at him. Staring at you with complete adoration, Dazai wouldn’t have to answer you for you to know that he loved you just the same: his smile said it all.

-

A K U T U G A W A

“Er, babe...” Aku would mutter, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “You got some sun today.” Furrowing your eyebrows you would frantically look at your exposed arms, eyes widening in alarm as you stared at your red blotchy skin in the bathroom mirror. Yep, it was definitely a sunburn and brewing to be a painful one at that too. Of course it was, you had had an absolutely amazing day outside with Aku today, something bad was bound to happen . “Ouch.” You would say surprised, brushing your fingertips across the ablaze skin while holding the towel that was still wrapped around your body from your shower. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” Aku would assure you sweetly, examining your skin with the touch and pressure of a moths wing. Moving his fingers to your hair, Aku would comb it up to a messy bun on the top of your head so he could examine your burning shoulders. He couldn’t help but to cringe as he stared at your fiery skin, knowing too well that you had the worst luck. Slowly leading you out of the bathroom and to your shared bed, he would leave you for a short moment, returning with a bottle of lotion, hopeful that it would help to take the sting out due to its proactive ingredients. Though he would nearly drop the bottle when he would see you laying flat on your stomach, your towel dropped to your lower back, revealing a decent portion of your nude body. Gulping he got over himself, climbing on the bed to straddle your body, knowing you needed him. “Might be cold.” He warned beginning to rub the lotion into your skin. He tried his best to be gentle with you knowing how bad a sunburn could hurt with applied pressure. He didn’t want to hurt you further afterall. “Maybe I should get sunburnt more often, your hands feel good.” you would sigh contently, making Aku blush. Although the sunburn sucked at least this was a decent way to end your beautiful day. Truthfully, you were already feeling better under his gentle touch. And to think your sweet, considerate boyfriend was feared by practically the whole city. ‘Some bad guy’ you thought to yourself as his fingers continued to massage your skin gently.

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 3 - D R U N K S H E N A N I G A N S

A K U T A G A W A

“If you ever return her to me in less than perfect condition again...Well, Y/N, wouldn’t really appreciate me finishing that statement. Just don’t let it happen again. Understood?” The seriousness that his face illustrated was even more frightening than the inflection in his voice. The two friends nodded in agreement, unable to muster up the words and courage to apologize again. Furthermore, they thought it might be better to not say anything at all at this point. Which is why after a few awkward seconds they began to back away slowly before scurrying down the porch, almost tripping over each other to get back in their car. Aku could hardly hide his chuckle as he turned to enter the house where he could hear you fumbling around in the kitchen. “Now, what am I supposed to do with you?” He muttered to himself, amusement flitting to his face. “I’m so hungry.” You pouted, arms crossed, lip jutted out. “Did your mean friends not even feed you?” Aku inquired, beginning to pull out a pan and fill it with water. “No. They took me straight home. They knew you’d probably be mad and they didn’t want to make matters worse by getting me home later. I think they’re frightened by you.” Akutagawa couldn’t help but to smirk at this, turning the heat on the stove as he began to prepare your very late dinner. “Smart friends. How does ramen sound? The carbs will be good for you, soak up some of that alcohol.” Aku explained, biting his lip to avoid the smile that was fighting it’s way through. You had curled yourself around his backside, your arms wrapping tight around his waist. He could feel your warm cheek pressing to his shoulder blade, your hot breath sending internal shivers down his spine. He was so thankful you couldn’t hear his thoughts, let alone see his face; he was completely smitten by you and it was particularly hard to control when you were acting like this. “Mmmm. Sounds good. Though, Aku, would you mind giving me a kiss first please?” He rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. Sober Y/N was never this forward. “Of course,” Turning around to embrace you in a tight hug, he leaned down and brushed his lips against yours, electricity shooting all over his body in an invigorating frenzy. Your hands found their way to knot in his hair, his hands slipping to your lower back. Unlike most of your kisses that were typically very controlled and romantic, this one was wild and unpredictable. He almost let out a moan when you bit down on his lip, granting entrance for his tongue, your hand trailing down his chest slowly...“That’s enough for now.” Aku breathed, trying to recover from the whirlwind his head was currently in. “Woah,” you agreed, almost losing your footing as you stumbled backward. Aku was just in time to catch you in his arms, steadying you before leading you to a bar stool, forcing you to sit and rest. As he cooked your food, he couldn’t help but to thank the lucky stars that he could do this; that he could take care of you and be a good partner. It was a great feeling for him, being able to do this, knowing that he could be there for you when you needed. That is until he looked up and noticed you had already passed out there, head slumped in your arms. “You drunk little fox,” were his last words before draping a blanket over your shoulders while he finished cooking.

-

D A Z A I

“Careful, my love.” Dazai chided softly, his arms reaching to steady you after he threw an oversize t-shirt on the bed for you, as you fumbled to get your heels off. “Allow me,” He smiled politely, lifting you gracefully so that you were sitting promptly on the bed now. You both had just gotten home from a celebration party with the agency and you had ingested one too many glasses of champagne. “There you go,” He sighed, chucking your shoes behind him before massaging your swollen ankles. He never really understood why you wore such poor choices in shoes when they hurt you the way they did, but he couldn’t deny how irresistible your legs looked when you wore them. Then again, you looked irresistible all of the time to him. “Dazaiiiiiiiii, help!” you whined, scratching at your back trying to unzip your own dress. It took Dazai a moment to pick up on your endeavors, the soft kisses he was peppering on your ankles halting. “Of course, yes.” Dazai obliged, scurrying from the ground to join you on the bed. Slowly unzipping the back of your dress, Dazai tried his best to be a perfect gentlemen, failing miserably as he took in your nude back, clad in only your matching bra and panty set, lust twinkling in his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat, letting out an exhale as he stared at the ceiling desperately trying to distract himself. ‘She’s drunk, she’s drunk, she’s drunk’, Dazai chanted to himself internally, trying his best not to touch what he so badly wanted to. “Much better.” You stated, standing to your feet, allowing the dress to drop around your ankles, leaving you nude right before his eyes. “Yes, indeed.” He bit his lip, his brain clouded when you walked over to him on the bed and straddled him. Fingers running through his shaggy locks, you leaned in and began to kiss him on the mouth with vehemence and passion. Dazai was shocked at your newfound confident nature, but wasn’t about to argue it as he reciprocated with the same fire and energy. Arms wrapping around your waist, he pulled you even closer deepening the kiss as he slipped his tongue in your mouth while you were attempting to catch your own breath. Untangling your fingers from his hair, your hands reached to unclaspe your bra clumsily. That’s when it all clicked for him. His head had been so full of excitement, that it took him a quick second to remember what was really happening. He could taste the alcohol on your breath, see the disconnect in your eyes; you weren’t all there. This was wrong. “Belladonna, I love you and I typically love when you try to undress yourself, but this isn’t right. You’re not all here at the moment unfortunately and I can’t in good concience do anything with you without your full, sober consent.” He spoke slowly so you would understand, but you only let out a huge puff of unsastisfied air in response. “This is me giving you my consent,” You leaned in for a kiss, but Dazai intercepted kissing your forehead instead, forcing your arms up as he tugged the oversized t-shirt over your head. “Y/N. You know we can’t.” Dazai reasoned, pulling the covers back as he pat the open space beside him. “But I can hold you until you fall asleep? How does that sound?” His words were like melting honey. How could you deny that even if you were drunk? You were never one to turn down Dazai cuddles. Collapsing against his chest, you let out a small ‘hmph’ in a disatisfied pout, trying to ignore how good his arms felt around your body. “I know I’m no fun, but I love you very much.” He said after a moment. You had attempted to say it back, but the drunkness was already taking over and you were already growing very tired. He laughed at your attempt nonetheless and smoothed your hair back lovingly. “You sure are a riot when you drink.” Were his last words before allowing him to fall asleep with you happily in his arms.

-

C H U U Y A

You had gone completely silent. Chuuya thought you had simply fallen asleep because typically car rides did that for you when you were drunk. Furthermore, he didn’t think much of it. That is until he heard the sniffling. And the fidgeting. And the ragged breathing. “Y/F/N.” He would say calmly, sneaking a glance over your way. He could already tell just by looking at you that you were trying to hide your face from him. You were an emotional drunk and you were definitely crying. “Y/N. Look at me,” He would demand, grabbing your hand in his and kissing your knuckles gently. Chuuya had witnessed this on so many occasions that he had grown desensitized to your overdramatic actions while under the influence. In fact, it was one of his favorite things to talk and joke about the next day because he knew it was simply just the alcohol taking its toll. That didn’t mean, however, he still wasn’t going to bust his ass to at least try and cheer you up. Your smile was priceless to him after all. “Baby, why are you crying?” He would sigh as you finally peaked at him through your hair. “Because I just-I just-I just love you so much, Chuuya!” You would gasp in between hysterical sobs, your crying becoming progressively louder as you threw your fists over your eyes. “You don’t even know how hot you are, it’s awful. I just want to kiss your stupid face all of the time.” You wailed miserably. Chuuya was quiet for a moment and then suddenly he broke out into a loud guffaw. Were you seriously crying over how much you loved him? And how hot you thought he was? Oh, how he was going to LOVE to remind you of this in the morning. Mortified wouldn’t even begin to touch on it. “And now you’re-you’re laughing at me! Do you not love me back anymore? That would suck a lot.” This made him laugh even harder, though he was making a genuine effort to calm down to comfort you even if you were being ridiculous. “My sweet, silly, beautiful girl. If only you knew how much I really loved you. Words cannot even begin to make a dent on the love I have for your very drunken self.” The car came to a halt as he pulled up to your shared apartment, turning to look at you with complete sincerity. “Why are you laughing then?” You would ask timidly, your tears now drying against your puffy cheeks. “Because It’s funny to me that you would even have to consider asking me if I still love you. I will always love you till my last breath and so on. Of course, I love you. I’ll scream it and wake up the entire neighbor hood if you want me to,” He offered opening his car door and slamming it before coming to the passenger side to get you. When you didn’t budge, he cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Well, aren’t you going to tell the neighbors?” He rolled his eyes, lifting up your unwiling body as he kicked the door shut with his foot. Oh, how he loved his very stubborn girlfriend. “I really do love you Y/N. More than I’ve ever loved anything in my life.” He soothed you, kissing the space in between your eyes as he walked you through the threshold of your apartment. “I love you Chuuya.”

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 2 - H U N G O V E R C A R E

D A Z A I

“Good morning!” Dazai chirped as he opened the bedroom curtains, resulting in you to let out an inarticulate groan. Why must he be like this? He knew you were bound to be hungover today; he knew how much you drank the previous night. “Aw, my belladonna, isn’t it such a beautiful day?” He would sing, laughing as you shoved a pillow over your face with clear aggravation. “I hate you.” You would mutter, jumping when you felt him plop on the bed beside you, ripping the pillow away in one swift motion. “No, you don’t. You love me very much because I take extraordinary care of you, my beloved.” Kissing you softly on the lips, you would cringe as the dull ache in your head became more prominent with the newfound exposure to the sunlight. “I drew you a hot bubble bath with all your favorite scents. There’s also some medicine in there for your throbbing headache with a considerable size drink of electrolytes.” His words were kind. You felt guilty for ever being annoyed with him this morning. What did you do to deserve this? This patience? This kindness? You were in awe with how lucky you had gotten in the grand scheme of things. “Dazai...” You started, but were interrupted by his finger pressing gently to your lips. “Say nothing. Let me take care of you,” You squeaked when his arms suddenly curled around your frail body, lifting you with little to no effort in a bridal style manner. “I promise you won’t have to move a single finger for as long as you are feeling poor, I’ll be by your side the whole day Y/N-Chan.” But wasn’t he supposed to be...? “Kunikida will just simply have to deal with my absence today. This is an emergency afterall,” Soft giggles emerged from your lips as your boyfriend set you down gently on your feet once you got to the bathroom. The room was completely dark with an exception of the dozens of candles that were ablaze, the water in the tub lilac and filled with tall bubbles. It was perfect. He was perfect. “Dazai...I’m speechless. What can I ever do to repay you?” You asked sincerely, thankful the room was able to hide the blush that crept to your cheeks. “You could start by undressing?” You shot him a death glare at his suggestion, but he ignored you by chuckling softly as his own joke. “To repay me, all you have to do is feel better for me.” And with that he gave you a chaste kiss on the lips.

-

C H U U Y A

You awoke to the delicious aroma of a homemade breakfast. Usually when you were hungover, the mere thought of food would make you want to vomit profusely. In this instant, however, it made your mouth water and your stomach growl. Without even thinking about it, you drug yourself out of bed and sauntered to the kitchen, your hangover far in the back of your head. “Good morning, sleepy head.” Chuuya hummed placing some sunny side up eggs on a plate before turning to you with a knowing grin. God, he was so beautiful first thing in the morning. Hair slightly frazzled, eyes still sleepy yet bright, clothes casual and hugging him in all the right ways. That right there was enough to distract you from breakfast AND your hangover. “How’s your head?” He questioned, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead, zooming past you clearly on the prowl for something. “What’s all this about?” Your inquired, your voice still thick from sleeping. By no means were you complaining, it was just rare to see Chuuya cooking let alone be up before you on one of his days off. “You need to eat a nutritional, high protein breakfast to fight that hangover of yours. I’m not sure if you remember how much you ingested last night, but as your caretaker I do. Here, take this.” Handing you a couple of pills with a tall glass of water, Chuuya smiled proudly at you his eyes sparkling. He seemed almost eager to take care of you, to show you just how much he cared. It was one of the things you loved most about him; he loved to keep you on your toes and surprise you. “It looks delicious.” You smiled, graciously swallowing the pills. “All of your favorites should be there, though I can’t promise they’re going to taste up to par with your standards. We all know how good of a cook I am,” His words were sheepish as he stared down at his shoes, rubbing the nape of his neck. How could he say that? He went to all of this effort to surprise you and help you out and he was now concerned you wouldn’t like it? Surely, he was deranged. “Chuuya, It’s going to taste amazing, you know why? Because you made it for me from the bottom of your heart and let’s face it: there aren’t many things that you aren’t great at.” This made him smile as he took a step towards you, wrapping his arm around your waist, his fingers streaking your face. “Thank you for taking care of me,” You hummed, leaning your cheek into his open palm. “Always.”

-

A K U T A G A W A

“It’s your own fault. I warned you not to be reckless,” Aku would mutter, holding your hair back as another wave of nausea coursed through you, your head lurching forward as you vomited for the third time that morning. You knew you shouldn’t have drank that much, you knew what the repercussions were, you knew your body all too well and yet you still chose to tango with disaster. Aku had every right to reprimand you. “I know. Self control. I struggle with that. Don’t be mad.” You heaved, collapsing back into his chest with obvious fatigue. “I’m not mad at you, just irritated. I hate seeing you so ill over something that could have been easily avoided.” Aku would sigh, lifting you up in his arms, carrying you back to bed. He didn’t want to make you feel bad, you were an adult and you deserved to have fun every now and then. He just didn’t want to see his beloved darling under the weather; you meant way too much to him. “You don’t have to be doing all this if you’re irritated, y’know. I can take care of myself. I don’t want to inconvenience you after all,” Your words were sheepish, your embarrassment colorfully painted across your features. This made your boyfriend frown with guilt. “You never inconvenience me. It’s my job to take care of you when you’re ill. You’re my girl,” His words sent shivers down your spine as he hovered over you, giving you a quick kiss to your nose. Watching his face turn red, you smiled contently knowing that he cared. He may be stubborn, but he will always make a point to show that he will always care for you.

-