#dazai fell first and harder believer

[iwanna69akutagawa]

Soukoku nation is WINNING fr

[ennuiduck]

I just want to talk about the fake confession scene a little more. Like Dazai dude, what else were you going to say? 😒 like maybe let’s revisit, reflect a little.

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[iwanna69akutagawa]

This Is adorable.

I know we joke a lot about fast Dazai fell for Chuuya but honestly, I get it. Dazai spends who knows how long just wanting to die, not caring about life, not feeling human, only doing this job because he was promised a painless death at the end. And then he meets this loud cocky brat, who literally sparkles in Dazai's eyes, and he's so alive, he cares so much, he's wiling to be hated by the only family he's ever had to keep them safe. Of corse he was obsessed. He met someone who was so full of life and humanity the poor guy never stood a chance. It's part of why I love describing Chuuya from Dazai's point of view, he always looks beautiful. Could be beaten half to death and the way he's still so clearly alive would be borderline etherial.

-E

[venomdol]

Bsd Characters as your boyfriend headcanons

Featuring: Chuuya Nakahara, Osamu Dazai, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Akutagawa Rensuke, Atsushi Nakajima

Chuuya Nakahara

At first he kept denying it when he was falling for you.

When he finally realised it, bro went full gentlemen to you.

Would let you wear his coat whenever you're cold.

You sometimes braid his hair in the morning.

Of course he'd always act like he didn't like it

But he did.

Expect him coming to your door in the middle of the night to take you out on a motorcycle date.

Gets REALLY cheesy when drunk.

"Ngh... I'm the luckiest man in the entire world because of you..."

I recommend dating him. He's definitely a green flag.

Osamu Dazai

If he ever finds out he has a crush on you, he would not hide it.

Persistent as hell

And that's what led to you dating him.

Would actually keep all his problems to himself.

Like whenever you are worried about him, he'd always put a smile in front of you just to not get you worried.

Always talks about double suicide.

But like he would never actually have the heart to see you die because of him

Sweet nicknames like 'Belladonna' or 'princess'

Isn't really jealous about most things.

But if he sees a guy flirting with you or making you uncomfortable...

Yeah, things won't end well with the guy.

I don't really recommend him much, but I believe he'd be a good boyfriend.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

If he ever has a crush on you, he'd manipulate you to like date him.

Yandere tendencies .

Would prefer a submissive girl.

Even though he gives out yandere vibes, he's also pretty romantic at times.

Would let you wear his hat.

Kisses your neck while you're sitting on his lap.

Would teach you how to play the cello.

Says seductive things on russian to tease you.

"Я не могу поверить, что одного предложения достаточно, чтобы ты промок."

It's mostly hard to surprise him since he can always read your emotions.

Sorry, but I do not recommend it. He'd mostly manipulate you and stuff...

Akutagawa Rensuke

You were the first one to confess your feelings.

You guys give of 'She fell first, he fell harder'

Would be embarrassed in showing affection in public.

Pretty blunt when it comes to romance.

Would use cuddling as a way to releive stress.

Actually pretty possessive.

Will kill anyone who looks at you too long.

Would secretly like it if you praised him for something he did.

Again, he's extremely jealous and possessive.

Would act like he doesn't care about you.

But he actually does.

Has a soft spot for you.

Atsushi Nakajima

When you guys firts started dating he was VERY awkward.

"Uhm... should we hold hands?"

But got pretty used to it.

His favorite activity is definitely cuddling.

Can clean like a househusband.

Will love having you pet his hair.

Cheaper dates because he's broke.

He doesn't really get jealous since he can barely tell when someone is flirting.

Random surprise hugs.

Would actually cry if you say you love him.

Please give him lots of kisses.

Would accidently push you off the bed.

And take the blankets.

[kyouka-supremacy]

I really wish there were more fics that delved into how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is different from his love for Dazai.

Tbh I just wish Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai were acknowledged more and I'm only now realizing it's so weird how nobody really ever brings them up? while it's all so evidently there. I mean, considering Akutagawa to be / having been in love with Dazai is seriously a perfectly feasible, consistent, realistic way to interpret the text without any need to bend or stretch it. It just makes a lot of sense for how his character is portrayed - his obsession with Dazai, his devotion, his desperation to be acknowledged and approved by him - and I think it's quite the important piece to understand his character. His love for Dazai is a significant aspect of Akutagawa's character, and it also explains why he's always been so vulnerable to manipulation by Dazai specifically. In a way, I think Akutagawa being so unmistakingly gay is also coherent with the way he's completely indifferent and even oblivious to Higuchi's feelings for him that lie at the light of the day– although, please note, that's a slippery slope that can degenerate in apologism for the way he abuses her, so I beg to be mindful when considering that.

Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai are in ultimate analysis extremely relevant for how Akutagawa falls and acts in the sskk picture: Atsushi being not the first person Akutagawa ever fell for, so in a way him being more aware of his own feelings than Atsushi is; Akutagawa falling for Atsushi first (and harder), because at this point he already knows he likes men, he already knows what being in love with someone feels like. But at the same time I believe that it's so interesting to explore how his feelings for Dazai are different from what he holds for Atsushi. On one side you have Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai being passive: not in the way he doesn't act after them, of course he does, but in the way he's always passively subject to Dazai's abuse, unable to stand for himself, blinded by his devotion to Dazai and unable to really see the damage he's causing him. Passive in the way that he's created this image of Dazai in his mind, perfect, god-like, static and unnatural, that struggles to evolve and adapt to reality. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi, on the other hand, is aggressive: always actively trying to hurt the other, always attempting to make the other suffer; it really speaks of someone whom, all his life, has always associated love with pain. Akutagawa hurts Atsushi because he knows love means pain, and he hurts Atsushi because he can't allow his love for him to hurt Akutagawa again as deeply and painfully as it's done in the past. It's a little sad. Ultimately, Akutagawa's love for Atsushi being the push Akutagawa needs to get over Dazai at last, something I fear he never really managed to do up to - I believe - at least chapter 53: getting over Dazai as something he gradually achieved after the soul-searching he did during his absence between chapters 53 and 84. Chapter 84 being the one where Akutagawa willingly, readily said “no” to Dazai in a way that was so sudden and surprising for anyone who knows him and that is easy to interpret as Akutagawa finally starting to free himself from the influence Dazai has had on him up to that point. That's why Akutagawa's sacrifice for Atsushi is all the more important and poignant, because him protecting (and dying for) Atsushi was never for Dazai to begin with.

I always always considered Akutagawa being gay and in love with Dazai to be like. the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer (and maybe the “you know the reason yourself don't you”, but I guess that falls under the bigger category of “Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is a character that is gay”); but now that I think about it, nobody ever brings it up really. I can guess it's probably because most people - including people who like Akutagawa and ship sskk - ultimately sympathize with Dazai, and even where acknowledging the hurt he's done to Akutagawa, don't really like to dwell on it or explore the relationship between the two of them which is... legit, indeed. Still, I think their relationship and Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai are a very important part of his character that shouldn't be overlooked when trying to accurately portray him.

And the rational part of my brain knows this can't be intentional, knows Akutagawa wasn't written to be read as gay. But there's another I'd dare say equally rational part of my brain that keeps speaking up to say the majority of his characterization - his devotion to Dazai, his (can I say? tender) sacrifice for Atsushi, his mistreatment of Higuchi - really starts to make sense only when you interpret him as gay. So, sorry???

[literallydazai]

I love Fyozai so much but Skk will always be number one. (I believe strongly that dazai fell first AND harder.)(Chuuya doesnt realize his feelings dw, he wants him too)

Featuring my wilted boutonniere

[ruified]

i just finished reading osamu dazai and the dark era and now my eyes are stinging with the feeling of tears attempting to crawl their way out from behind them, and they may just succeed in that endeavor so let’s see how much i can type out with tears in my eyes

i miss my wife (oda bsd)

Somebody probably should've tied him up, pried his chest open, and stuffed a vacuum cleaner inside. Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they'd suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.

But in reality, such a vacuum didn't exist. Chests don't open up like that, and no one is capable of such feats. What we see is every-thing, and everything we see, we ignore. All we can do is stand before the deep ditch between us and others and keep silent.

the way oda talks about dazai is consistently heart wrenching, he knows that despite all of dazai’s maturity, because he was forced to grow so fast, he’s still a child

just a child protecting his fragile little heart the way an adult would, simply replicating what he’d seen others do and what he’d been taught and expanding upon it

That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke Oda understood him much more than he'd ever imagined-right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn't realize until then that someone had known him so well.

it’s as if oda never realized that he knew dazai better than anyone, that he’d successfully reached out and touched the child protecting his heart

oda mentioned regretting not getting closer to dazai

The reason why Ango and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood.

But in that moment, I kind of regretted not stepping in and invading that solitude.

but in his final moments, that child in dazai reached out and asked for guidance, asked for oda to take his hand and point him in the next direction he believed was right because he trusted him

dazai thought so highly of oda because oda was always rather up front about everything, his feelings, what he was thinking, all of that. not once did oda try to use dazai, we find dazai sort of realizing this in the day i picked up dazai (which i read online not too long ago), and that’s what makes dazai like oda so much

they’re so important to me guys btw

With trembling fingers, Odasaku reached for the cigarettes in his pocket before sluggishly placing one in his mouth. By the time he pulled out a match, his fingers were too weak to hold it anymore. Dazai took the match and lit the cigarette for him.

Then Odasaku closed his eyes, smoking the cigarette as he smiled, filled to the brim with satisfaction.

The cigarette fell to the ground.

Dropping onto his knees by Odasaku's side, Dazai looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. His tightly shut lips faintly trembled. The smoke from the cigarette rose straight up to the top.

Nobody said a word.

READING THIS SHIT HITS HARDER THAN WATCHING IT THE ANIME FR DOES NOT CARRY THAT SAME IMPACT

something else they never included in the anime was THIS?????

In the middle of a verdant mountain trail atop a hill overlooking Yokohama was a cemetery with a view of the ocean. There were many new graves lined up-among them a small white burial marker without a name.

Dazai stood before the burial marker, dressed in black mourning clothes and holding a bouquet of white flowers.

"…….”

He squinted as the strong sea breeze suddenly gusted past.

The white flowers fluttered in the wind.

"I'll leave this photo here."

He took out a picture and placed it before the burial marker.

Frozen in time were the smiles of those three men.

"I really wish you could've tried that hard tofu I made..."

Dazai closed his eyes, then stood absolutely still, rooted to the spot.

GOD I FEEL ILL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAZAI OSAMU

Dazai didn't say a word. That was just about the first time he'd ever been unable to articulate his feelings.

"I..."

this is like one of the first, if not the only time, we get a glimpse into what dazai is thinking and it’s honestly so important that we did it this moment

the anime doesn’t convey it as well just how emotionally driven dazai is in this moment, like, yes you can tell, but his struggle between what he knew was logically correct and what he felt is so important to know about

it also makes this part that he said to ango really ironic

"I always lose the things I don't want to lose the most. That's why I don't feel anything anymore. The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it."

"When I first saw him over in the slums, I was horrified. His talents are extraordinary, and his skill is extremely destructive. Plus, he's stubborn. If I'd left him to his own devices, he would've ended up a slave to his own powers until he destroyed himself."

Dazai didn't freely make people work under him, period; much less a boy on the verge of starvation in the slums. But Dazai seemed to have his own reasons for doing it.

the way dazai talks about akutagawa here is so interesting and you really gotta take it at face value because he has no reason to lie to oda, especially not about this

here’s dazai being oda’s number one fan

"Sakunosuke Oda... I know that guy," the subordinate with sunglasses added hesitantly. "Dazai, sir, I don't mean to be rude, but...I saw him sweeping behind the office the other day. A man of his status isn't qualified to be your friend, let alone contend with an enemy like this."

Dazai stared, flabbergasted, at his underling.

"Are you joking? Odasaku's not qualified?" Dazai asked, thoroughly surprised.

he’s so cute

now for some silly stuff

here’s oda describing things in terms of cats

Searching for a Mafia informant is on a completely different level from locating a missing pet cat (which I've actually done before, so I say this with confidence). If a cat runs away, then you can stake out a local feeding ground, but there was no way for me to even guess where Ango's "feeding ground" might be.

I had placed a foot on the staircase to the second floor, which looked as if it could come crumbling down at any moment, when I heard a sound coming from somewhere in the building. It was very faint, only about as loud as a kitten rolling on its back.

he’s such a guy

"I am André Gide. We ghosts came in search of... the one who will free our souls," the leader claimed.

…

"Well, I know this guy who works at a funeral home. I'm sure he'll give you a discount if I put in a word for you."

"Anyway, I feel for you, Odasaku. Not only did you run into the enemy's boss, but he made some serious advances toward you, too. At this rate, you guys will be married by the weekend."

"That's not what happened." At least, I hoped not. "They're just a group of weirdos who start wars for the sake of it."

"Oh? I think it's kinda cute, going to such lengths to plan another person's death. I never would've thought of doing that." There was more than a hint of amusement in his tone.

“at least, i hoped not” ODA 😭😭😭

i just love dazai in this specific moment, he’s so silly

"I found a handkerchief at the site of the explosion." Dazai grinned fiendishly. "There was a napkin from this place wrapped inside. It was completely obvious. Who would've thought spies used such dated methods, huh?"

Now that he mentioned it, I remembered lending Ango my handkerchief before I passed out. That must've been when he slipped the napkin in. I just thought I'd lost it.

BRO THOUGHT ANGO JUST LIKE GAVE HIM BACK THE NAPKIN TOO

"Man, that was hot. Why does curry have to be that hot?

Does it have something against mankind? More people would eat it if it were less spicy. This is negligence in food culture." I thought about it for a moment before answering. "If more people ate it, then nobody would eat anything else, thus completely destroying food culture as we know it."

"Makes sense." Dazai nodded, seemingly convinced.

"You hurt yourself on a block of tofu?"

He must have been in desperate need of some calcium.

"...Odasaku, that's exactly the problem right there. You're enabling Dazai. You don't speak up, and that's why he goes off the rails."

I see. So this was what Ango meant by "enabling" him. You learn something new every day.

i love how funny oda is without meaning to be like he fr just says shit 😭

anyways that was a really good read uhh made me really sad, also better than the anime ngl, oda was so much more badass and cool

[youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff]

I love the dazai fell harder and faster tropes, chuuya literally fell from the sky it was love at first kick and in not even a day or two of meeting him they're already a confession ( false confession or not can be subject to debate) , then he prepared a creepy party for welcoming him into the pm while giggling while he's doing it, then you have his 27 notebook of grievance and It's not even the worse of it he's so unhinged omg, chuuya isn't any better they have a mutual obssession i swear poor port mafia and ada and the whole of Yokohama who have to witness their sexual tension.

I like to imagine chuuya smilling radiantly or laughing and dazai go flustered like error.404.dazai.ex have crashed while chuuya is oblivious, i think that he will rant to oda and ango about chuuya and then they were both like : ango : " someone should tell him " while oda is like " he will figure it out eventually i believe in him." , then you have how they brag about the others and mask it with insult if ADA and PM have a drinking game of how many times dazai and or/chuuya mention the others they will be flat out drunk ( having dazai and chuuya put money in a piggy bank every time that they mention the others will have chuuya wallet way less full and dazai in even more debt).

I think that while dazai is thirsty he can be the type to hide his flirting with insult or acting like he was mocking him ( because he refuse to have chuuya have this win over him) while chuuya is oblivious but if they get together it would be while in a fight and these too dumbass will confess while not even realize it then they will realize what they did, be embarrassed but no one will take it back because if you take it back you lose, while dazai would make sure to make known that chuuya is officially his with a voice recording of the confession in his hand and if you make a move on him you're my enemy while chuuya mastered the art of denial .

[star-centric]

Can you do some headcannons on Kunikida from bsd and how he would act in a relationship? Like what type of dates they’d go on, his love language, etc. tysm!

- 🥀

PAIRING: Kunikida x Gender Neutral!Reader

NOTE: I love Kunikida- that is all (and sorry that this came out so late)!

CW: fluff, gender neutral reader

Relationship Headcanons with Kunikida!

Being in a relationship with Kunikida is more exciting than people think. He’s still as diligent as always, but you get to see a certain softness to him that isn’t shown as much

He still acts the same- but he’s a bit more…delicate now. He catches himself remembering that you’re not just his friend anymore and that you’re something more to him (like he’s been wanting for a while). It’s hard to not notice the tips of his ears growing red when he has his vulnerable moments with you, but it’s welcomed nonetheless

I fully believe he asked you out first- had an entire plan written down in his notebook with no room to error. Even with everything written and perfected to a T, he still stumbled a bit in his confession, light blush across his cheeks but firm in his words. It’s a moment that you keep close to you and bring up whenever you’re alone together (sometimes to tease him- much to his dismay)

If you guys work together, he doesn’t treat you like you’re weak because he knows that you’re not- but don’t be surprised if he’s hovering around you more when you get back from a mission. He’s still professional- just more worried- but he still has faith in you!

If you guys don’t work together, he makes time out of his schedule daily to see you. He makes sure that it falls on your lunch break and it doesn’t get interrupted by anyone (unless it’s a serious mission, but expect him to be a little upset when he confronts the threat)

He always makes sure to walk you to and from work- no exceptions

Kunikida would be the one to usually plan your dates- whether it’s his idea or yours. If there’s something specific that you want to do, you can expect him to get all of the information/details and plan it to where there’s no room for a mistake

(just make sure that you’re not pranking him like Dazai because he will take it literal)

He prefers something calm for your dates- he already gets all of the excitement he needs from the agency, so any chance he can relax and do it with you he’s taking it. He also finds it easier to unwind with you, feeling the stress from the day lift from his shoulders just being with you

Kunikida’s love language is act of service! He goes out of his way to make you’re taken care of. It may seem minor to some and not a big deal, but it’s just one of the many ways to show that he cares about you

He’s not much of a touchy person in the beginning of your relationship, but he starts to show a little more physical affection as it progresses. It starts out small- from pinkies brushing against one another without flinching to small hugs before saying goodnight. He doesn’t do much in front of everyone besides handholding, but he does start to do more behind closed doors and in the privacy of your homes

Kunikida has a whole section in his notebook dedicated to you (including future dates)- your likes, dislikes, anniversaries, etc. You never have to worry about him forgetting something because he already has it written down

It takes a while before Kunikida says “I love you”, but I do believe that he would say it first. He’ll also be the first one to bring up the notion of moving in together under a tactical guise (but really it’s just because he craves you more and the times that he sees you now isn’t enough)

He’s the definition of “you fell first, but he fell harder”

Kunikida feels at peace with you. Even if you didn’t match all of his ideals for his ideal partner (because realistically no one probably would), he’s content with that. You mesh so well with him, and honestly- it’s hard to picture anyone else being his partner but you

[smallchildyue]

So as always I was thinking about Soukoku and the whole "Dazai fell first but Chūya fell harder" ordeal.

Because, think about it : when they first met, their interactions made clear that they had about the same level of annoyance/disdain for each other, alright. But the thing is, while Chūya's quickly grew into full-on hatred (please please PLEASE go read this post by @sorcerersandskillusers on the topic it's brilliant), I don't believe it's the same for Dazai. On the contrary, I'd say he instead grew fond of Chūya, or at least found him amusing and or interesting enough that it cancelled his initial negative feelings.

Now Dazai being who he is (aka an emotionally repressed teenager to whom I don't think anyone had ever shown affection) of course he expressed it with all the subtlety of a preschool brat pulling the hair of that playmate he likes, but that's a whole other story.

[fellfirst-fellharder-fight]

Round 2: Fight 8

Roronoa Zoro/Sanji (One Piece) vs Nakahara Chuuya/Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Propaganda under the cut!

Roronoa Zoro/Sanji (One Piece):

Roronoa “I’ve known you for all of a day and now I’ll die for you” Zoro absolutely fell first, Sanji “I’m in love with love and everything and everyone” fell harder. And now they’ll always have each others back, and there is no one else they trust more

Nakahara Chuuya/Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs):

have you SEEN the way Dazai interacts with Chuuya in 15. Desiring him carnally at first sight.

Dazai when he meets Chuuya at 15 wants to die, sees no point in living and his goal is to commit suicide painlessly. Shortly after they meet, Dazai is so inspired by Chuuya’s dogged and passionate determination to live, that he tells another character that he will choose to keep living for now, basically just to see what Chuuya does next and keep annoying him

Early on in BSD, Dazai almost catches another character, Atsushi, in his arms when he falls unconscious, but he basically brushes him off and lets him fall to the floor, saying something like that he “doesn’t embrace men.” Contrast this with the fact that at one point in Dead Apple Dazai cradles Chuuya’s face in his lap while Chuuya falls asleep, and with the time in the Stormbringer light novel that he catches Chuuya in his arms after Chuuya falls unconscious and carries him.

Different Anon, but Dazai told Chuuya he loved him the day they met at 15 years old, and Chuuya went “ew!” And yeah, maybe he was joking, but we’ll never know!

Skk propaganda. Dazai literally admitted to being in love with Chuuya when they were fifteen, to which Chuuya responded eww. But then when they were 22(? I’m terrible with ages) he pulled his suicide move that only Dazai could stop because he fully believed he was alive when everyone else was telling him Dazai was dead. If that’s not ‘he fell first but he fell harder’ I don’t know what is

[tomato-turn]

Bsd head-canons...

Because I have 42 of them written and I want to share..(mostly contain skk)

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1. Chuuya is dense, dense as hell.... He would have a very hard time differentiating flirting, fighting or being friendly. so when new people try to shoot their chance the older people who tried are like "lol, good luck!"..

2. (Romantic skk) If anyone fell first, then it's Dazai... If anyone fell harder it's..... also it's our bi-king Dazai..

3. Chuuya genuinely hated Dazai... at first... I think at 16 he was getting along well... (until the whole sb)... At 17 he grew to like him.. At 18... well... the relation was tainted a bit... (and was more like a breakup!).. At 22 it was straight up a makeout..

4. (Platonic SKK).. There was a neat chance that Dazai didn't live in a shipping container... that was to throw Verlaine off. He did the set-up between 1-year and/Or 6 months... (he was really commited to make a fool out of verlaine). But never lived in it... he lived with Chuuya or spend more time with Chuuya... (both of them complained about it)

5. [canon! Don't care what you say] The Junichiro's, Kenji and Kunikida were the only people with normal childhood.. Although for Kunikida he may or may not have a minor tragedy (like parental death)..

6. Dazai must've had parents... But had a very abusive relation with them... But one time they were stuck in a situation where Dazai could've helped but he did not... thus their death... He hates himself for it..

7. I believe Mori could've been better if he just placed human emotion higher than a mission... and his weird fetish!.. Like the of Beast!Mori...

8.[Fact] Asagiri must give Chuuya his vacation... Maybe go to Europe, and catch up with Adam..

9. Koyou manipulated Chuuya to stay in the Mafia just like Kyoka using the 'toxic loving mother manipulation'.. saying things like "you wouldn't leave the mafia for the light would you? You wouldn't leave me right? for the light? We're family right?"..

10. whenever Dazai pranks Chuuya, (infront of his subordinates) or teases him, he feels stupid, stupid for falling for his cheap tricks and making him feel that he's just a dumb teen who doesn't know what he's doing.. He hates it even more when Dazai left the mafia since he's at the agency..

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Welp, that's it for now I will make part 2 if you want!

Also should I randomly tag people like for no reason...meh!

[bnesszai]

i was looking through the questions but those don't apply for the insanity of jouzai so i'm bringing my own. when they fall, how's it like? which one falls first? does it kills them. jk. unless

you're right. they deserve their own fucked up category<3

when they fall, it's like a war. Dazai fights tooth and nail to stay away but keeps feeling the irresistible tug to get closer, to follow, to touch. it's like a bloodbath in the need to stay far away from complicated feelings and the need to tear their own skin apart at the thought of Jouno, but also in the way that Dazai wants to be torn apart and to let Jouno see their insides.

It's a war in the fact that Jouno hates everything Dazai reminds him of, hates the past ghosts that cling to them both and refuse to ever, ever let go. It's a war because Jouno can see how people believe that Dazai has changed and that Dazai is trying, meanwhile Jouno's need for change was used against him to unknowingly commit crimes and he loathes Dazai for that beyond reason. It's a war in that Jouno wants Dazai to suffer for what he has done but he also needs Dazai's touch to feel whole and to understand his place in the world.

The fall is bloody and messy and the landing is rebirth.

(it does not kill them, at least not yet, not until the current events are settled and the dust reveals where loyalties lie)

EDIT cuz i forgot: Jouno falls first but will never, ever admit that out loud because it would kill him to do so. Dazai knows this anyway. Dazai fell harder tho, absolutely face-first in a puddle of blood and despair

[chibun-days]

another dazai character study fic snippet

 20. and you, dreaming of dreaming of dreaming

One night, after a mission with Chuuya using Corruption and Dazai nearly not reaching him in time, Dazai asks Chuuya a question.

“Say, shrimp?”

Chuuya doesn’t look up from where he’s splayed out on the bed. “Call me that again and I’ll bash you into the ground.”

“Nope! Chuuya’s too tired to even land a blow on me right now!” 

It’s true; they’re both exhausted, Chuuya from Corruption and Dazai from almost letting Chuuya die. And living. They must both be tired from living. Dazai doesn’t know what goes on in Chuuya’s head most of the time despite being so good at manipulation, though, so it must just be him for now.

Chuuya groans. “Watch me, fucker,” he threatens, but doesn’t make to get off of the bed. Dazai’s laying on the nearby sofa, staring up at the ceiling.

“Sooooo, Chuuya…”

“Stop stalling and just spit it out.”

“Don’t be so impatient, chibi! We have all the time in the world. But if you’re so insistent…” Dazai begins tracing an imaginary line circling over his right eye, over his arms, over his coat, then onto the armchair’s faux leather. “What do you dream about?”

A pause. Chuuya closes his eyes. “...I don’t dream.”

Dazai doesn’t stop tracing. His finger is beginning to feel warm from friction. “Hm.”

The conversation ends. They do not speak for the rest of the night.

Dazai, pillowing his head on folded arms and watching moonlight shift through the safehouse window, considers Chuuya. Considers himself. Considers dreaming.

Even if Chuuya doesn’t dream, he wants to dream, and of beautiful and lovely things to boot. No matter what, that will be what always makes Chuuya human—so, what does that make Dazai?       

It doesn’t matter that Chuuya can’t dream—the boy wants to and would dream about a better life; his ghosts laid to rest and his loved ones soft in the morning light. If he could, Chuuya would dream about hope and grace and happiness. Dazai just dreams about death.

i am back at it again. no i have not read stormbringer. yes i am sorry i will get to it. however i do know the plot and that chuuya doesn't dream so a win is a win

not much to say about this passage in general, except that you can tell i believe that dazai fell first and fell harder

mild analysis below:

also i haven't been able to fall asleep for the past two days because i keep thinking about how dazai and chuuya parallel eachother so innately in that dazai is human but does not feel/act human and chuuya is not human (even tho yeah he was implied to be human at the end of stormbringer but the sentiment stands) but feels/acts wildly human yet they believe wholeheartedly and without a doubt that the other is irrevocably human. "i'm human too, you know" is the cause of at least 10% of my insomnia.

[imagineanime2022]

Curry Rice

Chuya Nakahara X Fem!Reader Osamu Dazai (Platonic) X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 711

Requested: Anon

Request: Original Request

Oda’s birthday was coming up, you knew that he liked Curry Rice and decided that you could try cooking it for him but as it turned out you could only cook cup noodles and Dazai literally created poison whenever he was near a cooking apparatus of any kind.

That was why you were standing next to Dazai who was about to get Chuya to help you “youk one I don’t think anyone can cook Curry Rice we should just give up.” Dazai said overly loudly. “What are you cooking that for?” He asked, “You could just buy it.” “No, it was supposed to be for someone’s birthday, we can't just buy it.” You muttered. “If you're telling us to buy it then that must mean that you can’t cook it either.” Dazai said with a smirk on his face. “Yes I can, doesn't mean that I have to show you.” Chuya muttered. “So you can’t do it.” Dazai teased. “I know what you're doing but you're not coming to my house to cook.” Chuya argued. “We can all go to my place.” You suggested. “Fine, I’ll teach you.” Chuya muttered.

Later that day, you all went back to your apartment, which looked a little bit like it came out of a horror movie, the first thing to draw Chuya’s attention was the shrine you had for Mori, in the bedroom, that could be seen from any part of the house. “That’s creepy.” Chuya muttered. “I’m just dedicated to the cause.” You shrugged with a smile on your face and Chuya rolled his eyes as he walked into the kitchen to see if you had everything that you needed. “You don’t have everything that you need.” He said as he wrote a list of things that you needed. “Someone needs to go and get this stuff.” “I’ll go, you guys wait here.” You told them as you took the list and headed off to the shop. “Have you ever been here before?” Chuya asked as he looked at Dazai who was leaning against the kitchen counter. “Just to hang out and play games, why?” He asked, he watched as Chuya's face changed and he smiled as he recognised a look of jealousy. “You have weird taste in women, you know.” “Yeah like yours is any better.” Chuya glared at him, before they could launch into a full argument they heard the door open and you walked back in with the ingredients, Chuya looked over what you bought, two of the ingredients were wrong but he could still work with them so he didn’t bother saying anything about it. “You two need to help.” “I’m only here to taste.” Dazai said and you looked at him, he put his hand out to signal playing rock, paper, scissors to see who would help Chuya. You lost and so you washed your hands and stepped forward to help. The cooking was going well, you were less chaotic when you were with Chuya but the trouble came when you Chuya reached for a pot, though he was too short to succeed you grabbed it for him instead. “Thank you.” He said with a blush. “Chuya your cheeks are red, are you okay? Are you blushing?” Dazai teased. “Shut up Dazai.” Chuya glared at him as they started throwing insults back and forth. “You two are like an old married couple.” You said. “I’d marry Chuya if it meant that I never had to do house work ever again, he’s the perfect housewife.” Dazai smirked. “Like I’d ever marry you.” Chuya argued as you just giggled at them.

You were just about finished with the curry rice when Dazai leaned over and added something, before either of you could ask what he was doing there was a loud explosion and when the smoke cleared the kitchen was completely destroyed and most of the apartment was smoke damaged as well. You fell to the floor dramatically as you looked at your ruined shrine. “My shrine!” You cried. “Shouldn’t you be worried about paying for damages?” Chuya asked, you just cried harder as Dazai patted you on the shoulder. “I can’t believe he ruined your apartment.” He sighed. “What!?” Chuya asked as they started arguing again over your crying.

Request Here!!

[gojou-violin]

hi rhys!! any ocs that u want to rant about? i’m curious to see what’s been on ur mind involving them 🥳🥳 (i’m like 95% sure u have OCs, but if not kill me LOL)

O. M. G. I’m so glad you asked. Tbh I’ve got a million ocs rotting in my brain rn so idk where to start- but fuck it we ball.

I think it’s crazy that Natsuki didn’t love Dazai at first cuz she was literally hired by Port Mafia to seduce him so that bro wouldn’t kill himself. So Dazai deffo fell first, but Natsuki fell harderrrrrrr. Being in a fake relationship w him literally changed her entire life cuz by the time she realized she was actually in love with him, he found out the truth, his friend died, his life fell apart, so he decided to go on the run. Without her. Leaving her all alone, having to face the Executives who were FURIOUS that she let him get away, so she had to suffer the consequences (months and months of torture), but all that happened while she thought that he was DEAD, so not only did she fall in love with him and then have to be alone, but she had to live with the guilt, too.

But the part that makes me emo is that Natsuki never, ever fell in love with anyone else. Meanwhile Dazai’s fucking around with the Agency, trying to find a girl that’ll participate in his double suicide fantasy. So he fell first, but she fell harder; and he fell out of love first, but she could never get over him. When they reconnect years later, she even asks him if he loves her, to which he says that it’s impossible to be in love with someone that was never really in love with him 😭😭😭😭 BRO SHE IS IN LOVE W YOU, YOURE JUST BUTTHURTTTT. ugh their miscommunication is god fucking awful and I hate it. Bro if Dazai never found out, they’d prob still be together. And if he’d just get his head out of his ass and believe that she does love him, they could prob get back together REEEEEEEEEE